Would you want to know what people REALLY thought of you, your passability, how well you are perceived as your gender or would you prefer to think whatever you think currently?

I'd love to know what they think!
20 (39.2%)
I'd like to know, but that's a hard decision
12 (23.5%)
I'd probably not want to know but that's a hard decision
5 (9.8%)
No way! I don't care, I'm happy not knowing!
14 (27.5%)

Total Members Voted: 31

Author Topic: What Are People Thinking About You???  (Read 2584 times)

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Online V M

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Re: What Are People Thinking About You???
« Reply #20 on: April 11, 2009, 08:32:47 pm »
If I started to care about what people were thinking about me, I'd either go nuts or take over the world. Obviously, I don't really care much about that anymore. But I did catch some of you not bowing to Goddess Virginia  :laugh: >:-) :laugh:
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS

- V M

Offline CynthiaAnn

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Re: What Are People Thinking About You???
« Reply #21 on: April 15, 2019, 08:07:13 am »
One of the things that helped me a lot during the early phases of transition was this thought:

"What other people think or say about me is none of my business."  It applies at several layers of being.


I agree with this above and heard the same thing years ago. This phrase seems to have made it's way through the word space quite a bit...

It's like "free your mind instead"

C -
kindness is love nurturing your soul....
a day in a life of Cynthia Ann @ https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,245988.0.html

Online LizK

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Re: What Are People Thinking About You???
« Reply #22 on: April 15, 2019, 08:27:05 am »
I have to say I am not to bothered most of the time what they think...some days it gets to me but on the whole I am who I am and what others think is really of no consequence. Women and Men come in all shapes and sizes and we all have flaws.... ;)
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019

Offline SeptagonScars

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Re: What Are People Thinking About You???
« Reply #23 on: May 05, 2019, 08:29:51 am »
I'd prefer people be upfront and honest with what they think of me, but I don't feel the need to know what everyone thinks of me. Like it's not that important to me, I'd just rather people not lie to me, sugarcoat or walk on eggshells around me to spare me my feelings. Cause I already know I don't look/appear/sound much like my gender, and sometimes that's even intentionally nowadays.

Like I know I'm a woman, but I do like being genderally ambiguous with my deep voice, facial hair that I trim into a neat "fashion stubble" and combine with lots of makeup, big boobs and feminine clothing that accentuates my curves. Most people are gonna be mistaken about my gender, unless they make no assumption at all and just ask me.

But most people just take a guess and are totally wrong about it. Because most people do tell me what they think, even if mostly in very indirect and hinty ways. Like for example, people who express that they think I'm either weird, gross or brave (instead of just "normal") for dressing feminine, is quite a hint.

So I already know, but I'm also already fine with it, that people have opinions and that my appearance gets attention. I choose to look this way because I like it and it feels like me, at the expense of not passing. It's not a big deal to me, as long as I get met with politeness and a basic level of respect. But it was difficult to become confident enough to not be too bothered by the frequent misgendering. It only gets to me when it involves harrassment, being dehumanised, being fetishised, etc (and of course any kind of violence but that hasn't happened yet, luckily).

But ultimately it doesn't matter if people think I'm a man or woman or nonbinary or whatever. Sometimes I correct people, other times I just let it slide. But I'd much rather they'd just be honest.
Mar. 2009 - came out as ftm
Nov. 2009 - changed my name to John
Mar. 2010 - diagnosed with GID
Aug. 2010 - started T, then stopped after 1 year
Aug. 2013 - started T again, kept taking it since
Mar. 2014 - top surgery
Dec. 2014 - legal gender marker changed to male
Jul. 2018 - came out as cis woman and began detransition
Sep. 2018 - stopped taking T and changed my name to Laura
Oct. 2018 - got new ID-card

Medical Detransition plans: breast reconstruction surgery, change legal gender back to female.