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Blamming Allah?

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bigbreastlover4269:
I mean no disrespect to The Creator but my mom and I had this talk yesterday...

When I get the "You're not here to serve you, you're here to serve The Creator," response, I get argumentative and taking into consideration that The Creator is being selfish. Because I always thought/think that He doesn't care that I want to be female but expects us to serve Him! >:(

It's just like this; you're throwing a party one Friday night, and all your guests arrive. You have them on a strict schedule, like watch a movie, dance, music, games, junk food, etc. all scheduled at specific times. Then one of your guests say "Why can't we do what we wanna do?" Simply put, you expect your party goers to do the things you have planned but they don't like how you're doing things and you know it.

Doesn't make any sense at all, does it?

Well... you don't have to be at a party... and you don't have to live the rest of your life either!

Although there are too many things that I want to do and see before I leave this Earth, I thought about hanging myself.

Back to the party analogy; Your guests don't have to stay if they don't want to but you'd appreciate it if they did so because you'd want them to have all the fun at your party before they go. It's no different than Allah not wanting you to leave your life behind without learning this lesson He had planned for you.

Let me say one thing; My mom tells me that I'm disrespecting Allah. Well y'know what? I feel that He's disrespected me! >:( But I am thankful for the other good things He's provided me with.
But when I hear about the benefits of being a female, at Him, I'm as mad as all heck! I'm honestly not trying to fight with Allah, or don't intend to. All I want from Him is my ideal body.

I was also mad at Allah for something else but He knows what I'm talking about and this isn't the place so I'm not going to get into it. But that's that.

Also, I would even get "If God wanted you to be a girl, you would be a girl," Then I would reply, "I don't care!" because it doesn't change anything for the better but actually making things worst on my part! Then I get, "I'm being selfish," How so? It is He who is being selfish, I think!

Is God really to blame for giving me a male body when I wanted to be female, and He knew I wanted to be female? I think, because I heard that God knows all the things that you want before you even realize that you want them.

Perhaps I was disrespectful to Allah in a previous life and this is His way of getting revenge on me. Either that or I probably was a FtoM transgender. Or maybe even my subconscious has a recollection of being a big-breasted cutie. But maybe there's a lesson He wants me to learn in this life.

Michelle.:
Jihad.

Isn't the proper connotation of the word jihad to mean inner struggle?

Overcomming lifes obstacles, while remaining true to the faith?

So if Allah put us all here to learn and learn from each other than couldn't transition be a manner of submitting to Allah's will... which I thought was the overall concept of Islam in the first place. Islam... submission.

I'll pick up the Koran at somepoint in the future. But so far I'm half way thru the Bible in a "year," downside to this is I started about 1.5 yrs ago.

mina.magpie:
I think it's very easy for people to put words in the creator's mouth. To my mind though, if God/Goddess/Allah/Brahma/<insert name of deity> is perfect, that includes perfect love. Also, a perfect being does not want or need for anything - the whole idea of "serving" God makes no sense to me.

Serving one another, on the other hand, does make sense. We ARE imperfect beings and we DO need and want things from one another, and it's to every individual's benefit to make sure that everybody's needs are met as much as possible. The alternative is an unstable, unjust society, which only leads to suffering for all of us.

Religious people (such as your mom, for example) often end up projecting their own prejudices, social insecurities and stuff onto God/dess, and that's as true for the people who wrote religious texts in the first place. There is wisdom in those books, to be sure, but at the end of the day, I think it's always a good idea to filter what you accept and what you reject with a very simple question: Does this come from a place of ignorance and fear or a place of compassion? Your mom is reacting in fear - she is afraid of what the neighbours will think. She is worried that God/dess will punish you or her perhaps. She is afraid of losing her child. God/dess, being a perfect being, would not be coming from such a place.

Just on a last note: When I create, I create in love. I am proud of the things I create and want the best for them, and I would think a highest creator would not be any different. Yes, I might get attached to my creations, or I might destroy them in a rage, or whatever, but those are my FAILINGS, not my right, and I would assume that a perfect being would not have those same shortcomings.

Anyway, that's my take on it, for better or worse. I try to be careful of blaming God/dess for how people interpret him/her, or for disasters ("natural" or otherwise) that can usually, with a little investigation, be shown to be our own fault due to ignorance or greed.

Mina.

bigbreastlover4269:
Mina, Listen.

Of all the others who posted, you gave me the best reply. I barely understood everyone else's posts! I wanted to say that you made a very good point and will say this as I cannot seem to emphasize enough how still mad I am at God for not making me a female!

Person: We're not here to serve us, we're here to serve God.

Me: God is perfect in all being so what could God possibly want from us? And since God loves me so much and wants us all to enjoy life wouldn't it make sense that He would've made me a girl from the beginning? >:(

Person: God knows what's right for you though!

Me: *nods smartly* Oh really? Well in that case, why is it that he couldn't make me a girl and then make everything turn out right for me!

If I was sick enough in the head, and so mentally ill, I would actually get a rope and hang myself! Because that just goes to show how mad I am at Him!

I never wanted to be a man, not for one flying second!

I asked God the other night why didn't He make me a girl. And right now, I feel as though my anger toward him has taken over me!

And you know what else, God won't even send me a psychiatrist or someone I can talk to so I can take my anger out on them! Well... I didn't have some chances but blew them all so I can't really say that's his fault. But he could've prevented all this from the beginning!  >:(
All He had to do was make me a girl! He made some other species females so why not me! I mean- c'mon people! It's not like I had the chance but wasted it, That was up to Him, not me!

And you know what else else?

I would for the most part hope that one night I can go to sleep and dream that I'm standing in my ideal body but God just won't seem to let that happen for me! WOW! God just don't want me to experience the female perspective!

I know He's reading my posts as I'm writing them, but I'm expressing my anger, getting it all out. I mean- I've tryed not to disrespect the Creator but my rage has filled me for the last time. I feel vexed. VERY Vexed! And He knows it.

Let's see... what else did I wanna say?...  ???

OH! I'm not surgically getting my body changed and I can give you a list longer than the Empire State Building as to why but I'll only give a few; the high cost, the dangerous side effects, and mostly, although i'll look like a female, I won't have my ideal body figure so what's the point!

tekla:
Pretty much proof that trusting in god is basically its own punishment.

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