Author Topic: A guy walks into a bar...  (Read 489 times)

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Offline Michelle.

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A guy walks into a bar...
« on: May 03, 2009, 11:23:42 pm »
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them as well. Next the monkey jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "no, what?" The bartender replies, "he just ate my cue ball!" The man replies, "no problem. I'll pay for that well as my drink." After paying he leaves the bar with his monkey and returns several weeks later.

The man and monkey are together again when the man in question makes a visit to the local bar. He orders his drink and the monkey proceeds to scurry down to the end of the bar. He grabs a maraschino cherry and proceeds to stick the cherry up his butt!! The bartender looks on disgusted and almost throws up as the monkey removes the cherry from his butt and proceeds to eat the cherry.

The bartender yells at the patron, "did you see what that monkey just did?" "No says," the man. The bartender replies, "he just stuck a cherry up his butt, pulled it out and then ate it!!"

The man looks at his monkey and than back at the bartender and says, "yes, that dosen't surprise me. He still eats everything in sight. But ever since he ate that cue ball of yours he's taken to measuring everything before he eats."


Re: A guy walks into a bar...
« Reply #1 on: May 04, 2009, 12:34:38 am »


Re: A guy walks into a bar...
« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2009, 08:39:51 pm »
An Irishman entered a pub, strolled up to the bar, and sat down on one of the stools. The bartender asked him if he'd like a drink, and he replied, "Sure, I'd like a half dozen shots of your best Irish whiskey, line 'em up, right here", and slapped his hand on the bar. So, the bartender complied, and as he did, the Irishman drank them all, one right after another. When he had finished the last one, the bartender asked him why he did it that way. The Irishman replied, "Cause I've only got 50 cents!"