Community Conversation > Post operative life

Q: A difference in your outlook on life?

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Sheila:
Kimberly, I know what you are feeling. Before I had denial in my head and now I don't.  When I came to truth about my denial I wanted to live more. I was suicidal at that time and now I'm not. I love the world around me and I feel way more relaxed. Once I had the surgery and I know it is different to others, but once the surgery was done there was a great relief like a ton of bricks were unloaded from my shoulders. I know people see me as a transsexual, some do and some don't, but I don't care, it is me that I care about and not this other person. I'm happy who I am. To me this was immediate, upon waking up from surgery and knowing that piece of me was gone. My wife said that I had asked her if there was anything there and she said no and then I went back to sleep and she told me that I was very happy when I fell back to sleep.
Sheila

Kimberly:
Thank you kindly.

Melissa:

--- Quote from: Sheila on September 07, 2006, 12:50:50 pm ---then I went back to sleep and she told me that I was very happy when I fell back to sleep.

--- End quote ---
The irony is that you were very happy because you had finally awoken.

Melissa

Sheila:
Melissa, no, not that I had finally awaken but that I awoke without that awful thing between my legs. I had already knew and had total grasp on who I was. Just like you are now. You know who you are and you don't need surgery to feel that. I felt total, whole the way I should have been born. I felt complete.
Sheila

cindianna_jones:

--- Quote from: Kate on September 07, 2006, 10:21:07 am --- I've often said that I feel like I'm pushing the wrong way down an up escalator... everyone else is trying to learn their way up into heaven, and I'm frantically throwing off the facts before they can stick to me, trying to get down and feel the cool, moist earth below.... the rain on my face. God help me, but I DO love it here... pain, angst, GID, dispair and all.

--- End quote ---

Kate, you are a peach.  No one has said anything so profound in a long time around here.  I'm glad you are here with us.

Cindi

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