Author Topic: Cute one liners  (Read 471 times)

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Cute one liners
« on: October 31, 2009, 06:42:23 pm »
1. They just changed the law and now you can get a quickie divorce in Mexico with no restrictions. Absolutely none. You don't even have to be married.

2. Now there's a refrigerator for dieters with no willpower. You can open it as often as you want, but if you take any food out, it has a device that punches you in the mouth.

3. All the trouble in the Garden of Eden started when Eve took a bite out of the apple, then handed it to Adam and said, "Take out the garbage."

4. Rest assured. It's an unfounded rumor that the Obama Administration's "You're Too FAT!" Czar is trying to have Thanksgiving declared an illegal holiday.

5. I just read an interesting statistic. Right now there are only 167 roller coaster rides in the entire world -- 166 if you exclude (LOCAL COMMUTER SERVICE).

6. One computer hacker has mixed feelings about the Obama Administration's new "Snitch On Your Neighbor" Department. He knows they've tapped his modem line, but they're also paying half his ISP bill.

7. I read a biography about Michelangelo that explains exactly why it took seven years to paint one ceiling. It was a civil service job.

8. A doctor at the Stanford Medical School announced he has discovered a new vaccine for swine flu. There is one annoying side effect: Death!

9. My dentist is a shrewd operator; He doesn't give you laughing gas until just before he gives you the bill.

10. This guy is so into cars, he even wears chrome shirts.