Community Conversation > Transitioning

When did things start to feel natural?

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lauraspeirs81:
Dear all

As someone at the start of their journey and still very much immersed in the male construct I have built over the years I am worried that as I try to adopt more feminine mannerisms that they will always feel affected.

For those who are much further on at what point in your transition did you begin to feel natural in your femininity, when did interacting in a more feminine way stop feeling in anyway put on?

Sinnyo:
I feel a bit of a fraud, hopping here from a topic in which I proclaim my angsty doubt about my efforts to transition, but actually I've found that the little nuances I'd hoped would come to me in transition have, for the most part, already settled. I've always been a reserved sort of guy and not noticeably feminine in my actions, so I've not had much work to do when it comes to stopping slouching, for example. Something about the fact I've embraced transition has unlocked the gate on impromptu mannerisms, though. My walk can still take some conscious setting, but I've found it very easy to swing my arms and grasp my bags in a lady-like way as it somehow feels natural. It could be that my years of observing and envying women actually did some good as I 'wrote my mental patch software'. ;)

Izumi:

--- Quote from: lauraspeirs81 on September 08, 2010, 11:13:53 am ---Dear all

As someone at the start of their journey and still very much immersed in the male construct I have built over the years I am worried that as I try to adopt more feminine mannerisms that they will always feel affected.

For those who are much further on at what point in your transition did you begin to feel natural in your femininity, when did interacting in a more feminine way stop feeling in anyway put on?

--- End quote ---

In my experience i didnt feel fem until 6 months into HRT when I started looking more female then male.  I tried on women's clothing that i tried on 3 months before and it look good on me now, but 3 months before looked so horrible.  My face changed, I went out that day for makeup with a friend and came home and looked at myself and was like wow... i look like a woman... then the gloves came off so to speak, i did this part time dressing 3 days then decided i would go full time.  When i did that i didnt take any lessons on being a woman, all I did, was just completely and utterly stop filtering and stop acting like a guy.  When something happened i reacted to it at whatever was my first impulse.  Apparently when i dropped acting like a guy, i found out the way i was already pretty naturally like a woman to the extent that my friends couldnt believe it and asked me how i could ACT like a woman so well.  Its easy when your not acting.... and just living.

Nicky:
I'm not entirely sure when things became more natural. A lot of things came naturally on their own without really thinking much about it. Last year was a year of exploration but this year I went full time. I've been told i have changed in ways I am not aware of.

Mmmmmm natural, it did not come all in one hit, but drips and drabs. I started to move differently, use my hands more in conversations. I started to walk taller. I did think about my walk a lot, but now all I do is stick on my heals and my hips swing all on their own.

I only ever thought about a few things at a time. Like my walk, the way I spoke to people letting myself use more modulation in my voice, and just becoming more curious about people's feelings in general. A lot of it just comes, like Izumi said. You just start to live.

I still think about some things. Like the way I nod at other blokes I know as I pass, most women don't do that. But after 8 months I really feel like I have settled into myself.

 

Debra:

--- Quote from: lauraspeirs81 on September 08, 2010, 11:13:53 am ---Dear all

As someone at the start of their journey and still very much immersed in the male construct I have built over the years I am worried that as I try to adopt more feminine mannerisms that they will always feel affected.

For those who are much further on at what point in your transition did you begin to feel natural in your femininity, when did interacting in a more feminine way stop feeling in anyway put on?

--- End quote ---

Yes for me, my mannerisms just kind of started happening. People say when I talk, how I move my hands and such is very feminine. I don't try and never have tried anything with that...it just happened naturally. I have a feeling with mannerisms and fashion, I subconsciously paid attention to women growing up ...so when I was finally able to come out, things I had learned in my mind began to come out naturally.

One thing I will say though, walking and sitting up straight is something I DO have to try hard to do better...posture.

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