Author Topic: Another introduction but full story  (Read 587 times)

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Another introduction but full story
« on: September 08, 2010, 08:43:22 pm »
Hello, and thanks everyone who welcomed me here already, I just wanted to add my story of how i got to be a transsexual. I was born a male, and went by the name michael. It all started when i was about 5. I started feeling weird of how i looked down there and the way i dressed. I just started paying a real good attention between genders, i had an older sister a couple years older, she always had her dolls and these different sets of pajamas she would wear to bed. One day i decided to try them on right before kindergarden, i felt different more girly and i liked it. there were 3 different outfits, one was looked like the dress from the hunchback from notre dame movie, even today I'm in love with dresses, anyway i put them all on and put my normal clothes over them. My mom seen me and laughed at how many clothes i was wearing because i looked really big, but as soon she as she started taking them off she noticed they were my older sisters hehe, she didnt say much and took them off and then i was so embarrassed  i quit doing that after that day. Then I accepted that i was a guy until i hit 10, girls just seemed to get even more pretty and they looked so nice the way they dress(I've always liked girls though), but i would also get really jealous, because i wanted to really be one, it really started depressing me. When i was 12, it was only my older and younger sister home with me and my little brother, but my older sister had her friend come over, we came up with this idea of making me dress like a girl, I immediately agreed, it was a first time i wore a skirt and makeup. The feeling came back, I felt like I was more happy pretending i was a girl then actually living as a guy, They gave me the name melissa, so i played with them for awhile, and they thought it was fun, and funny at the same time. Then when my mom came home she was mad of how i was dressed and her bf started cracking up laughing. After that day, I couldn't help it, I would sneak into my sisters room when i was home alone. I felt normal in some way, I would dress up in her clothes and outfits, I would go in the mirror and pose or acted like a model, she even had some cheer leading outfits, and i would make up cheers and act like one lol. I came up with an idea to stash some clothes in this binder, and whnever im alone in my room id wear them and try not to get caught. I basically became a crossdresser. Somehow my mom always found the clothes i hid but never say anything, embarrassing as it was i pretended she never found them. I started to come to a stop of crossdressing, it just wasn't enough. It felt really good to feminine but it would make me depressed because i couldnt do anything about being someone i wasn't. At the same time i thought i wanted to be a girl, i also thought something is wrong with me like im a messed up pervert, but I started realizing that, the crossdressing was the only way to feel the way i do on the inside, because I knew if I was born a girl it would be a lot better then wearing the clothes. I started getting really serious about a year ago when I was 16, and now im almost ready to tell some of my loved ones of who I am and do something about this :)