Trending
Susan's Place Transgender Resources
You are at:»Forums
« previous next »
  Go Down

Author Topic: I came out this week  (Read 662 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline hazeofconfusion

  • Visitor
  • *
  • Posts: 11
  • Reputation: +0/-0
I came out this week
« on: July 13, 2019, 07:48:32 pm »
Hello all!

I finally admitted not only to myself, but also my one best friend, that I’m
Not  a woman, but a trans man. I feel so relieved and excited to say that. I’m
Slowly learning my new place in this world. What are good next steps to take? I contacted the local LGBTQ center near me about meeting a therapist and see what they think, and what I do next. I heard back from their one therapist today. I can prob meet up with them next which is great. Any advice on clothes, haircuts, etc? I’m looking forward to being the real me from
Now on.
Logged

Offline KathyLauren

  • *
  • Posts: 6,609
  • Reputation: +79/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Casting off dull certainty
Re: I came out this week
« Reply #1 on: July 13, 2019, 08:00:02 pm »
Hi, Haze.  Congratulations on coming out to your friend!

My advice would be to see a gender therapist, but it looks like you have that already under control.

As for style advice, you could pretty much go with an androgynous look right away, if you wanted to.  It is generally more socially acceptable for women to adopt male styles than the other way around.  You wouldn't have to out yourself until you are ready.
Logged
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly, beginning full-time; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2020-03-11 GRS!; 2020-09-30 New birth certificate; 2021-03-10 consultation for ongoing pain



Offline Denise

  • Denise
  • *
  • Posts: 1,929
  • Reputation: +19/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • I am Denise
Re: I came out this week
« Reply #2 on: July 13, 2019, 08:02:11 pm »
Congratulations.
It's good to be excited but be prepared for bumps and stumbles.  You control your own destiny. Go at your speed. Listen to your therapist as they probably have some experience but back to rule one, you control your own transition.

Sent from my LG-H910 using Tapatalk

Logged
1st Person out: 16-Oct-2015
Restarted Spironolactone 26-Aug-2016
Restarted Estradiol Valerate: 02-Nov-2016
Full time: 02-Mar-2017
Breast Augmentation (Schechter): 31-Oct-2017
FFS (Walton in Chicago): 25-Sep-2018
Vaginoplasty (Schechter): 13-Dec-2018









A haiku in honor of my grandmother who loved them.
The Voices are Gone
Living Life to the Fullest
I am just Denise

Offline Alice Skye

  • Friend
  • ****
  • Posts: 336
  • Reputation: +8/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • "She was only just discovering who she was..." -CH
Re: I came out this week
« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2019, 08:03:05 pm »
Congratulations!  A big step and I bet a big relief too. If you have not done so already seek out a local trans group. It might be dominated by transwomen but touch base with them so that you can start building a support network.
Logged
"Start by holding your head high... You're only a mouse if you let them make you one" Christina Henry from 'Alice'

Offline Maid Marion

  • *
  • Posts: 2,104
  • Reputation: +11/-0
Re: I came out this week
« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2019, 08:45:17 pm »
Welcome!

The big question is whether or not you fit in common men's sizes or not.

If you are short, there is a specialty men's store called Peter Manning that sells clothes online. 

Marion
Logged

Offline Anna N

  • Friend
  • ****
  • Posts: 222
  • Reputation: +2/-0
Re: I came out this week
« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2019, 08:50:18 pm »
Hi Haze, I'm happy for you. I think you will continue to feel a lot better. For my first few months I attended a peer-led group for trans and gender non-conforming people. That made things a lot easier. If you are near a large city and have a car, or if public transportation is adequate, that may be an option.

If the challenges of local prejudice are not a major issue, I would urge you to experiment with clothing and hair, name and preferred pronouns because there is no "wrong way" to transition.

I got a legal name change too early, before I had realized I wanted a name that was not androgynous.

I find my transition plans have gone MUCH farther than what I have ever imagined. Good luck! You may send me a private message if you want.

I have found cisgender people of my true gender have been great allies and friends. This has been a great joy.

Anna

Sent from my LM-X410.FGN using Tapatalk

Logged
The first transphobe I must face every day is myself.

Offline jackie3816

  • Neighbor
  • ***
  • Posts: 54
  • Reputation: +2/-0
Re: I came out this week
« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2019, 11:09:47 am »
Im happy to see that you are getting comfortable with yourself. Its the indecision part that almost killed me.

Stay strong and true to yourself!

Sent from my LGMP260 using Tapatalk

Logged

Offline Wendi

  • *
  • Posts: 2,573
  • Reputation: +3/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: I came out this week
« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2019, 11:40:17 am »
Congratulations on your new found self.

You can go online and view all kinds of hairstyles and use one of those apps that let you take a picture of yourself and then with the new hairstyle.

Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk

Logged
Started HRT 1/3/2019



Offline Rachel

  • Family
  • *****
  • *
  • Posts: 7,518
  • Reputation: +66/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: I came out this week
« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2019, 06:45:06 pm »
Congratulations, I am happy for you.

Hair, #2 on the sides and short on top was what I did for decades. Perhaps seeing a pic of a guys hair style you like and showing that to the stylist. My experience with barber shops is that they tend to not get nuisances, even blatant requests some times.
Logged
MTF in need of help link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,133631.1980.html
MTF in need of help 2 link https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,251825.0.html
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas FemLar 10/13/2020
Dr. Thomas laser vocal procedure 2/17/2021

Offline CarlyMcx

  • *
  • Posts: 972
  • Reputation: +22/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: I came out this week
« Reply #9 on: July 14, 2019, 11:11:31 pm »
Clothes?  Figure out your style first.  As a guy I had three modes:  Levi’s and T shirt, khakis and golf shirt, and business suit.  I also had a couple of sport coats to wear over the khakis for “dressy casual” occasions.

But if you like plaid lumberjack shirts or trench coats, then wear what you like.

Whatever you do, get at least one well tailored business suit and get the dress shirts properly fitted too.  Nothing beats a cool, sharp dressed guy in a properly tailored business suit.
Logged

Offline Perry

  • *
  • Posts: 182
  • Reputation: +4/-0
  • Gender: Male
Re: I came out this week
« Reply #10 on: July 15, 2019, 01:56:33 pm »
@hazeofconfusion

Congratulations man on your coming out and the acceptance you received from your friend. It's a wonderful feeling to unburden yourself like that isn't it?

I think seeing the therapist is the appropriate and healthy first step to take. Your therapist can help you decide which steps you need to take to ease any dysphoria you have, whether that be social only or if medical transition is in your future.


Do an internet search for male haircuts + (age range for yourself). Lots of sites will show you more pictures than you can easily digest. Square off the back and your sideburns, you'll appear more masculine. I wear jeans and polo shirts almost exclusively, sneakers or chukka boots on my feet. I'm semi retired and work part time in a very casual work environment so I don't even own anything dressier than khakis and casual long sleeve button up shirts. (of course, pre-transition I dressed the exact same way!)

Good luck!

Perry
Logged
Integrity has no need of rules.  -Albert Camus




Offline DawnOday

  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 3,132
  • Reputation: +36/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Links Administrator
Re: I came out this week
« Reply #11 on: July 15, 2019, 09:30:31 pm »
I have a friend, Danielle who is on the cusp of coming out. She just went through a rough patch and we got her back smiling again. She is stunning when dressed up. About as beautiful as any woman I've seen and she hasn't started HRT yet. I think she came out to her folks last weekend because her attitude is 180 degrees what it was before she left. Good luck with your reveal.
Logged
Dawn Oday

It just feels right   :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss:


If you have a a business or service that supports our community please submit for our Links Page.

First indication I was different- 1956 kindergarten
First crossdress - Asked mother to dress me in sisters costumes  Age 7
First revelation - 1982 to my present wife
First time telling the truth in therapy June 15, 2016
Start HRT Aug 2016
First public appearance 5/15/17



Offline jackie3816

  • Neighbor
  • ***
  • Posts: 54
  • Reputation: +2/-0
Re: I came out this week
« Reply #12 on: July 16, 2019, 06:40:02 pm »
That is awesome!

Living is being ourselves

Sent from my LGMP260 using Tapatalk

Logged

Offline Lexxi

  • MTF Trans Woman
  • *
  • Posts: 1,544
  • Reputation: +16/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • 50 Year old MTF
Re: I came out this week
« Reply #13 on: July 16, 2019, 07:48:51 pm »
Quote from: hazeofconfusion on July 13, 2019, 07:48:32 pm
Any advice on clothes, haircuts, etc? I’m looking forward to being the real me from
Now on.

Hi Haze,

First off congrats on coming out. The therapist is a very important step in the process. Second I was never a fashion maven as a dude. I guess I was what would be considered just a t-shirt and jeans type of guy. In the fall and winter I'd add either a hoodie or a flannel shirt over my t-shirt. Oh and I wore tennis shoes ALL the time. My feet hurt in anything else.

For a hairstyle I wore the exact same one for about 35 years. It was the Han Solo haircut from Star Wars except mine was a bit shorter. It was parted in the middle and combed back when it was wet. After it dried the part looked really good. Sometimes I'd let it grow out just a little bit on the sides so it could be feathered back. I tried a few other styles throughout the years, but I always came back to the parted in the middle look. It was what my head liked best I guess.

Hope this helps,

Lexxi

Logged
Finally started the process of becoming the real me! 5/20/19
Came out online 5/20/19
First time coming out face to face 6/3/19
First therapist appointment for HRT 6/3/19
Got my letter for HRT 6/10/19
Came out to my mom 6/18/19
Started HRT 7/12/19

Offline BlueJaye

  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,074
  • Reputation: +5/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: I came out this week
« Reply #14 on: July 16, 2019, 07:54:29 pm »
I don’t have any fashion advice as far as clothing or hair style, but I do suggest seeing that therapist as soon as possible. Having the support of a therapist will be a benefit if you decide to start HRT. I would also seek out other trans guys on here and elsewhere and listen to their experiences and learn from them.
Logged
  Go Up
« previous next »
Tags: