Community Conversation > Transitioning

A Long Talk With My Mom


     I didn't know where to put this so if it needs to be moved that's cool. I've lately been having worries and stress even though I'm finally so close to getting on Testosterone. I'm not doubting being trans or doubting wanting to transition but having a fear of how my transition will affect my mom.

      See, for the past 11 years my mom has been a single parent and raised me through some very tough times. Times such as my father's idiot wife showing up at our home, outside my school, and other places causing problems and leaving my mom to find a way to get me away from that. My point when I say all this is that my mom has been my rock. She has been there for me no matter what. At 19 she's still housing me, helping me with my bills, and everything. So when it came to my being transgender she's having a tough time. She feels like she doesn't know me now.

      We had a long talk today though about my transition. I told her my fears of her not loving me or kicking me out. She was in shock. She says "I could never stop loving you. I would never kick you out. I'm upset about it, sure, but I thought you had more faith in how I care about you." She explained to me that she loves me unconditionally and supports me even if she doesn't like it. For those who are thinking she's transphobic because I'm realizing that's how I made her sound, I'll explain.

       My mom says she feels like she is loosing a child. That the girl she raised is disappearing which is why she is so upset. I explained to her that I'm still the same person I was and the only thing that will change is my appearance. That I will be happy about things such as being able to be on the men's team if I go out for sports and just to be able to be male. All in all I thought it went well so I wanted to post it because I'm so happy and relieved that I talked to her about it. I wanted to thank everyone for sharing their stories which enabled me to have the responses that I had. I am happy because now I have no worries about beginning Testosterone and look forward to it ;D

I don't think your mom sounds transphobic in the least.

She sounds like an intelegent, loving, caring mom who anyone would give their eye teeth for.

She's there for you when it counts. In all honesty, what else is there?

And Michael, great news

I'm 19 and live with my single mom as well, so believe me, I know what you're going through (except I came out much earlier and started T at 16). I am glad that like my mom, your mom isn't transphobic. Just give her time to adjust and you'll be fine. Good luck on your journey, bro.


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