Author Topic: need help is very confussed!  (Read 5554 times)

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tina

need help is very confussed!
« on: August 24, 2005, 10:19:10 am »
hi ppl my real name is satya(satya) iam a cd from india and is crossdressing from last 6+ years now iam 20 , wanna go for next step of transformation like harmones and all but my prob is this that my parents dont know about me and as iam from india so ppl over here are not going to understand about me and my feelings and i even dont know any one who feels like me or can support me
whats best for me and what shoul i do
i realy wanna go for harmones and i wanna do this in early age so that it going to benificeal can i go for it without telling any one and will tell other after some time as they will be able to see changes on there own

 i have got few doubt about harmones too i think you ppl can clear them they are like this

1:- do they help in growing boobs and when can we see the change is happening and how long is that going to take
2:- does it help in gaing curves and prpreshapes of hips and all as iam verp slim but wann a have curves like girls
3:-do they help in improving complexion and make skin soft becaus as most of indians iam not very fair
4:-do they going to change my face structure like more towards female side
5:-are they going to effect my body hair and if yes how are they going to fall or what
6:-its better to take injectible harmones or pills
7:-whats the easiest way to have them
8:-i have got few marks on hand and legs only few one or 2 marks of some accident or wound so i wanna get rid of them whats the best way plz help
9:- do you ppl kknow any tg doctor in india prefrence is delhi to whom i can concernet about it

o know iam asking to much for first time but plz plz plz ppl i need your help its too difficule to live in a country who doesnot supports tg community.
and i have got a request if you ppl know ant tg or cd here in delhi or in india who can help or chat plz plz plz just tell me how to contact her any thing some id or somthing any no or what ever........ because iam all alone over here doing every thing on my own and need some one to help
its not that i dont wanna tell my parents i do wanna tell my parents but the thing is iam scred about that the fact the what if they are not going to accept me or more worst then that...so what i have thought that i will tell them as soon as iam gona get independent and iam gona have some physical changes and changes in look the after seeing that they might be able to guess that and ask me and i will tell them "this now this is what i wanna be in life and look like and feel like".....you see in india most of the time ppl try to hide this thing i dont know why but they do .......may be because of general public thats is why iam asking about any one from india who has gone through the same and can support me in front of my parents because you see i think she might be able to make my parents understand me and my stage better.
because i think they are not ready for this...........or i dont know a bit of confussed kinda stage
i have got a lot of doubt about alot of things and i think you ppl are the right ppl who can help and  give correct advice and help me in what i wanna achive
now after this post iam hoping for some good response so any one who is going to read this
plz plz show me some response as i have tried every where else and keep on trying but you see nothing happens so what can i say rather then that iam hoping for the best

may mail add is tina.supergal@gmail.com,tina_supergal@yahoo.com
plz contact me here or on forum as iam gona come here every day most of time

-tina(satya)

Offline VeryGnawty

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Re: need help is very confussed!
« Reply #1 on: August 24, 2005, 11:01:23 am »
Doing hormones on your own is not recommended.  They are very dangerous, and can easily get you killed.  Also, it would not be a good scenario when your parents found out.  I can see your rush, but transition is a life-changing, dangerous process.  You can't just rush into it, or you may damage yourself permanently.

The first thing to do is to become as self-sufficient as possible.  You don't want to be relying on your parents, because if it turns out they don't approve, they can cause a lot of complications if you are still dependent on them.  Also, find a good therapist if you can.  You sound like you are still confused and trying to work things out.  If you want to take hormones, that is something that you should be doing with a clear head and firm decision.  Transition is like walking over a rickety bridge across a bottomless chasm.  There's no reason to do it blindfolded.

One thing is for certain, if anything can help you it is money.  Money is a hard limiter for TG folk.  Hell, money is difficult for anybody.  Find a job or some means of income, and save up as much as you can.

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1:- do they help in growing boobs and when can we see the change is happening and how long is that going to take

Growth is likely, over time.  But it takes a while, and it is dependent on genetics and health.

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2:- does it help in gaing curves and prpreshapes of hips and all as iam verp slim but wann a have curves like girls

It can help somewhat.  Again, it is very individualized.  However, if you are slim, you are less likely to experience noticeable change, because body definition is defined by muscle and fat, and slim people are typically lacking in both.

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3:-do they help in improving complexion and make skin soft becaus as most of indians iam not very fair

Often times, yes.  Complexion is also greatly affected by diet.

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4:-do they going to change my face structure like more towards female side

Not necessarily.  It may change slightly, such as fat deposits, but bone structure is extremely unlikely to change.  Hormones typically won't do anything for a big nose or hard jaw.

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5:-are they going to effect my body hair and if yes how are they going to fall or what

Your best bet here is shaving.  Hormones may or may not have a big affect on body hair, it depends on the individual.

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6:-its better to take injectible harmones or pills

I'd say that really depends on the circumstances.
"The cake is a lie."

Offline Kendall

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Re: need help is very confussed!
« Reply #2 on: August 25, 2005, 10:47:00 am »
Even before any hormones or psychologists, make yourself as female as possible, in everday look and behavior.

It doesnt take hormones to do this, and will help when you do take them. Things anyone can do without the drugs are: buy and wear female clothing in public, start wearing make up little-by-little, practice voice and use it, grow hair to desired length, shape eyebrows, get piercings if you want them, develop and express your style and present your image of your inner self. All of these things are relatively low cost, are part of any transition, don't take any doctors, cause feminization. You can feminize your room even to your appropriate style: pictures, paintings and posters, colors, objects, whatever, till your room/s feel like they are where you belong.

By bringing these things to life, others will see, notice, and start to accept phisical changes even before any doctors get involved. These are things you'll need to do anyway. It'll also probably help convince doctors and psychologists how serious you are.

Of course becoming self-sufficient with funds and seeking professional counsilors is part of it like the others say. Those are the more costly and long term things.
« Last Edit: August 27, 2005, 09:34:50 am by wickham_kendra »

Terri-Gene

Re: need help is very confussed!
« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2005, 11:38:52 am »
Good Morning Tina, just browsing through before heading out to work, on my second cup of java, so am almost lucid, first of all, nice to "meet" you, and you do have some realistic concerns.

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Even before any hormones or psychologists, make yourself as female as possible, in everday look and behavior

I have a slightly different view about what you can do before actually going into it as full throttle as hormones and all.  Try simply letting your personality come out ahead of you.  A lot of you is hidden and will stay that way for a long time.  Start learning to just come out with how you really feel about things that come up in relations and discussions with others, and let your real reactions come through rather then the ones you feel are more appropriate to the ones you feel are more male gender appropriate.

No matter what you look like or unfeminine your behavior, the honest connection with your true feelings will go a lot further then you think, and it will help make transition more acceptable to others when you do come out.

Terri

AllisonY2K

Re: need help is very confussed!
« Reply #4 on: August 25, 2005, 11:52:07 am »
Quote
You can feminize your room even to your appropriate style: pictures, paintings and posters, colors, objects, whatever, till your room/s feel like they are where you belong.

As much as I hate to say this, I recommend going the super-girlie route for your room. Let your inner girl out and let her run wild in your room and in decorating your room. It can be your little femme haven for the time being while getting everything else in order for transitioning.

(I said "I hate to say this" because I am so not a girlie-girl, but I would recommend it to someone else if that's how they truly feel)

tina

Re: need help is very confussed!
« Reply #5 on: August 25, 2005, 12:48:54 pm »
hi ppl
first of all i wanna thank all of you for stopping by and showing you concernet as this is the only forum who has show some concernt and care
iam realy glad to see all those posts from your side 
now i can share my feeling with you ppl and iam sure about the fact  that you ppl will suggest the best for me .
a little about me my name is satya but i wanns get it changed to tina
iam 20 and is crossdressing from my child hood iam smart enough to hide my stuff from other ppl so no one here knows much about this i think my brother knows but iam not sure about its iam a engineering student is in final year and is totaly dependent on my parents for all the stuff money cloths and all so....... its like its gonna take few more years for study only and only after that i will be able to get a high earning.iam 20 now and i dont wanna die a crossdresser and i dont want to get late for my transformation ya i know i need to meet other ppl and doctor and i do wanna meet but its more or like cant find a single cd or tg in india i know there are many but no one wants to come out i have mailed may of them but no one wants to reply.i dont know what they feel like and what makes them in secure
i use to crossdress one daily basis and have tried to do out many times for few hours
i have got command over voice and can switch it according to my needs.

i have visited many sites about all sergries and all and have catted with many docs on phone and all what i have calculated that iam gona need 20000$ for complete transformation with out SRS
and for now i can only spend my saving on harmones as they are gona take 100$ or somthing for a month
i wanna look more like a real lady and i want ppl to see those changes its now like i dont wanna come out i wanna come out as soom as iam gonna get independent and earn a little money to go for FFS and all and at the same time i wanna get late for my transformation process.

so you ppl know any tg or cd here in india who just can chat with me and help me finding solution to my probs.because in asia specialy in india ppl you use to say a lot to tg girls and i can face ppl but befor that i wanna get a little independent so that i just can fight back.

ppl advice that you wont be able to do any thing without your parents approval but my family is not that open minded about the facts and all.
i can see what is going to happen when iam going to tell them about this they are going to throw me out.
iam not in rush but dont wanna pass age to achive what i want because time never comes back.
you ppl can tell me up to which age you can go for transformation and be able to achive best results
about my room its full of punk stuff because iam lot more in rock music and all and is a member if local band over here.my intrests are in guitar and painting and swimming and chess
iam not gay its just that i wanna just wanna free the traped girl inside me.

i can send my pics and all but dont know where to send or upload it
ppl i just tell me what should i do iam very confussed and very disturbed.
i have also though that later one i will try to get nationality of some other supporting nation but that is gonna take a lot of time a lot of time may be 7 or 8 years or may be more then that us use to give a lot of employment to indian ppl and to get somthing like that i need to study hard.

i just dont know how iam a gonna get what i want.........

-tina

 


Cassandra

Re: need help is very confussed!
« Reply #6 on: August 26, 2005, 12:26:00 am »
Hello Tina,

First of all, welcome to Susan's. Second, Whoa girl. Way to much emphasis on the body trnsfomation thing. Sure 20 is a good age, probably 12 would have been ideal but that is extremely rare. Im 49 and have been working on this about two years. Trust me you'll be fine. As time goes by you'll realise the mental far outweighs the physical when it comes to becoming a woman. Take your time.

I've worked in computers for years and during a 2 year contract I had the opportunity to work with a young Indian GG whose family was very traditional. However, she was not. She was in love with a guy from Sri Lanka and her parents were opposed to the whole relationship. She was 22 and still living with her parents because if she tried to live on her own they would have cut her off from the family. So you see I do know a little something of what you are talking about when you speak of coming out to your family. I don't understand it as I did not understand my co-worker. It seemed to me if she was an adult then she should be able to conduct her own life without familial interference.

In your case since you are GM I can imagine that things are a bit more difficult, but if I'm not mistaken does not the Kama Sutra cover this? I seem to recall reading that there are certain temples were the transexual can be attended to and that they are considered to be a special class. Perhaps I am thinking of much older texts and these traditions are no longer observed. Or maybe it was the Vishnu texts.  It's been awhile since I studied these.

The main thing to remember is don't let age be the determining factor in your transition. Transitioning is about a lot of things and HRT and surgery or only small parts. Very small parts. If you are a woman trapped in a mans body it isn't crossdressing when you're dressed as a woman, it's crossdressing when you're dressed as a man.

Good Journey,


Cassie

tina

Re: need help is very confussed!
« Reply #7 on: August 26, 2005, 07:40:28 pm »
hi ppl
thanx for making me a part of your forum its realy good and very helpfull
the good news is that i have found one doc who is ready to help but is charging a lot any ways that is not that prob now.my question is to all those ladies who are on harmones that how long does it takes to grow breast and do harmones grow considerable amout of breasts.
because i dont wanna grow them very early as for some time i wanna work and collect some money so that i will be able to go for FFS and other procedure.
as iam a final year student and iam not that bad at studies soon i will be able to get my 1st job
i need to ask what does it takes to get nationality of any other country or live in other country
like US or UK. because i think that is better place to start a new life.
according to me i will be able collect to required money in 3 to 4 years.
some times i think iam going crazy. all the time iam only thinking about how to get money how to get things done when is the right time to come out and all the thing is that i know what my gole is and know the path which goes to wards that but need proper guidance to get there because i know its not going to be easy.

i also wanna know do ppl provide employment to tg girls (iam asking about ppl over there in uk and us as after my graduation iam planning to go there and start working over there will try to collect some money for all that i want .

-tina 

Cassandra

Re: need help is very confussed!
« Reply #8 on: August 26, 2005, 10:24:42 pm »
Tina,

You raise a lot of questions most of which have been answerd from time to time in many of the forums here. Breast development depends on the person. The individual genetic dispositions are in charge of that department. If rapid breast development is a concern don't start HRT until you are ready. That would be the best way to make sure you don't develop too quickly for your time table.

Jobs:
 Sure there are some transgender friendly work places but not many that advertise as such. You just have to ask around or just keep your mouth shut until there is no choice. If you are living full time as a woman and pass fairly well and have no work history it is possible to never have the issue come up because they don't know.

Immigration:
 US Immigration and Naturalization Service is the place to get the information you need. Many students get student visas to enter the US for education. If you are close to your BA or Masters you could apply for advanced studies or something. I think you need to be accepted by a University first. INS will have all the information.

 Best to start a new life in another country? Maybe. It depends were you want to live. Some places are friendly some are not. Within large cities populations are so diverse you might be in a friendly area in one block and a hate zone just down the street. The US is a huge country with lots of different people in a lot of different places. You might want to try a visit first and get a little taste of what you might be in for before making any permanent moves.

Hope this gives you a little more direction.

Good Journey,

Cassie

Shelley

Re: need help is very confussed!
« Reply #9 on: August 27, 2005, 05:17:01 am »
Hi Tina,

Welcome to Susan's I think you will find this a place where you can interact with others here in a way that you have not been able to before. It is because of this that I think you should consider the other side of being TG.

You talk of transition, SRS and hormones but do not talk of how you feel other than a state of confusion and uncertainty. My suggestion to you is that you explore this site and its forums and find the inner you.

There are many forms or levels of TG from crossdresser to full transition and many steps between. Each of us is on a journey to find our comfort zone in which we are in touch with our inner selves. Unless you find that person and release her all the surgery and medications will come to nothing. You need to find what is right for you.

Take your time experiment a little with how you feel and read the experiences of others. Some you will be able to identify with some are not for you. The advantage is that you are in a place of safety here and you can express your feelings.

Where ever your journey takes you Tina take care to think carefully about each step to ensure that each step is right for you. You may still find that you need to reset course but thats fine so long as you haven't rushed beyond a point of no return.

Good luck on your journey and at the same time welcome to Susan's.

Shelley

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