Community Conversation > Male to female transsexual talk (MTF)

Breaking it to my wife slowly

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Paula2005:
Well I started kinda breaking my real gender to my wife. I'm sure she already knows with the curves i have LOL. But anyway last night I got her to paint my piggies a lovely pink! she picked the color! She also mentioned she was going to buy all new panties so i said well you can give me all your old ones! lol she said fine, no wow whats wrong with you! I am almost 100% she is bi anyway, so I'm pretty sure almost 100% she will not only support me but really help me fully transistion. we have been married 23 years and are still very much in luv!

Luv <3
Paula

Shelley:
I hope your right Paula and it does sound like you are.

Just a little warning, I thought my wife was aware of the real me until she found the link to here and all hell broke loose. I have never had her paint my toe nails nor give me her underwear but I thought she was aware in other ways. We talked about fashion we liked including makeup and especially heels and styles of dresses we liked. I couldn't however have been further from the truth.

Just before I was about to tell her she read some of my posts here and we had a very stressful few weeks.

On a positive note I think if I had told her first things might not have been so bad.

Anyway good luck Paula and I hope all goes well.

Shelley

Kendall:
Either she will or she wont. Its already pretty much decided how she will react, in her mind somewhere. Good or Bad, you can only try to deliver it the best you can. You have very little control how she will actually respond. Some already have it in them that they will accept it. Some no matter what you do will never accept it. Just hope the luck is with you. And maybe she saw this in you already escpecially if she is bi.

Your boys is another story and may affect how she feels also.

stephanie_craxford:
Hello Paula,

In an earlier post you mentioned that you had
--- Quote ---"an appointment to see a Licensed Clinical Psychologist Specializing in sexual identity issues"
--- End quote ---
  Have you been to this appointment yet?  You seem to rushing ahead without making sure that is the right thing to do.  Painting piggies, and pink panties does not mean that your wife will support you transitioining to a female, she may be taking this as  a little bit of fun to spice up the marriage.  You yourself said that you only thought that she was "Bi"

As Kendra mentioned there is always one way to find out and that she will either support you or she won't.  But before you make any moves, be sure you are aware of the possible consequences, and that you are willing to accept them.  Remember you have been together for 23 years.

I don't wish to rain on your parade but personally I would wait until you have seen your therapist, and after a few sessions see where you stand and if your mind is still the same.  I would hate to see you make a horrible mistake that you would regret for the rest of your life.

Be patient Hun, another short wait for therapy won't be too hard to handle.

Take care,

Steph

Cassandra:
Hi Paula,

Once again Steph has pointed out exactly what I was thinking. Gosh, we think a lot alike Steph. Are you sure you're not my long lost twin sister seperated at birth?  ;D

Any way, Paula, like Steph said, don't confuse a little bedroom fun and games for some implied indication that she will accept you transitioning to a woman, nor that she is bi. She probably thought you were joking about the panties since she had just painted your toe nails. Lots of women like to paint their boyfriends or husbands toenails every now and then just for fun. Especially if they are bored wanting to do a makeover and your the only one or only thing available. Heck I've known girls who used their dogs as guenie pigs for these experiments.

Slow down. Take your time. No need to rush especially when children are involved. At this point assume nothing. Talk to your therapist and keep your internet files cleaned out if you know what's good for you.

When I came out to my wife it was in a fit of anger and I didn't care. The urge to tell had been welling up inside me for a long time and it just popped out. For me it worked out great, that's because my wife is a rare and precious jewel. You may not be so lucky. Have a care and procede with caution.

Good Journey,

Cassie

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