Being misgendered or clocked is bad enough but as a mtf when you are told something like, "You should spend time with a psychiatrist or a psychologist because this wanting to be a woman sounds like there could be something that you really need to figure out that is troubling you, because it is not right for someone born as a male to think that he is a woman in the wrong body. That is really weird."
Have you heard anything like that mentioned to you, or in conversations about transgender people in general? They do not understand transgender issues, do they?
Chrissy
Yes, I have heard stuff like that. Fortunately not specifically directed at me. No, you are right, they have no understanding of trans issues at all. If you can ignore them, unfriend them, or otherwise get them out of your life, I'd suggest doing so.
It is tempting to engage them to educate them, but that is a losing battle. Idiots will drag you down to their level and then beat you with their experience at being stupid.
People tend to avoid getting personal with me on the social media groups. Never had someone get personal IRL; if family members have something to say, they haven't had the stones to say it to my face.
One guy started a general "debate" of sorts with me in a group recently, which at first seemed like he was trying to make logical points and learn what transsexualism is, only for him to devolve into "y'all need Jesus" when he ran out of 'points'. He made himself look a complete moron in front of a group of 1000+ members; happy to intellectually savage him in public since he was trying to appear both intelligent and virtuous ("I have sympathy and pity for these people" only later to become "you're all going to hell"), but he was neither, and wasted my time. Haven't seen him posting since.
Other than that nothing directed at me. See people complaining about transgender activism and lobbying tactics a lot, but grief's usually directed at changing laws than at transsexualism itself. They know there's a difference between the medical condition and the activism. Most people are still ignorant of what transsexualism is, or feels like, goes without saying they probably always will be.
I have absolutely heard it before. Not directed to me but the people who said these things still don't know everything about me. When I was 16 a family friend came out as transgender. A couple of people told my brothers and I that she is immoral and unnatural. They refused to call her "she/her". They told us what she was doing was wrong and this was her covering up part of her life.
These are my parents..
Totally looking forward to telling them what I've felt my whole life.
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Chrissy, Almost word for word that is what I heard from my sister when I came out to her. :'(
Sky, I hope your parents ain't too harsh. My mom was always opposed to gay rights and and thought trans people were weirdos. When I came out it didn't go as well as I had hoped. At least for me I had shown signs when I was younger. I still don't know to what effect that had on acceptance? My mom passed away before I ever got to find out everything I wanted to know. I know she would never write what she felt as I had requested her to do. I came out in a series of letters. I had wanted to get one in return with moms genuine thoughts and feelings. I know she just wanted me to be happy. I think I devastated her with the truth of not being happy or even being myself all these years.
Lisa
Told me? Nah, they don't come that stupid.
I told someone who I spoke to quite a few times and he stated that I am super crazy. He also said that he thought that I was good looking as a guy and that I am ruining myself. He told me that he was interested in me and then we never talked again.
And this sums up most of my experience with gay men. Pansexual men seem very interested in me. Even some cis lesbians, but not gay men. I guess it makes sense on some level.
I was told yesterday i should think it over. The exact words were " you ran around with a penis for all those years, and now it is all of a sudden not good enough for you anymore? You probably should check this over with a shrink!"
Quote from: Kylo on December 08, 2018, 11:06:16 AM
People tend to avoid getting personal with me on the social media groups. Never had someone get personal IRL; if family members have something to say, they haven't had the stones to say it to my face.
One guy started a general "debate" of sorts with me in a group recently, which at first seemed like he was trying to make logical points and learn what transsexualism is, only for him to devolve into "y'all need Jesus" when he ran out of 'points'. He made himself look a complete moron in front of a group of 1000+ members; happy to intellectually savage him in public since he was trying to appear both intelligent and virtuous ("I have sympathy and pity for these people" only later to become "you're all going to hell"), but he was neither, and wasted my time. Haven't seen him posting since.
Other than that nothing directed at me. See people complaining about transgender activism and lobbying tactics a lot, but grief's usually directed at changing laws than at transsexualism itself. They know there's a difference between the medical condition and the activism. Most people are still ignorant of what transsexualism is, or feels like, goes without saying they probably always will be.
Lol it seems no one has figured out yet that God is the only entity that casts final judgment and it's funny when they are proclaiming that we will all burn in hell that they forget that a Jesus cleaned a prostitutes feet and saved her from being stoned despite sinning and used it to teach her a lesson instead of condemning her. They also seem to forget that if you accept Jesus into them selves that he will save them in the time of judgment. Which is odd because back when I went to church that was constantly emphasized. Without Jesus every one of us born on this rock would go to hell. I find these bigots laughable.
I haven't had to deal with it much if at all since starting HRT. For about a month it was bad but after a few months my neighbors didn't even recognize me.
My issue before STS was not being able to be intimate. I didn't want anyone who liked me because of the plumbing and the guys I met I couldn't get too close because I really didn't want to have to explain about being trans. The one person I did open up freaked out and it hurt.
I have to admit that I disklike it more when someone under the lgbtq++ umbrella is being unwelcoming and disparaging to trans-people solely for being trans, than when straight people do that, although both situations are not good at all. Both situations are disappointing.
It just seems like those in the lgbtq++ umbrella, regardless what category, likely have been ostracized as a group or even personally and they should be empathetic and welcoming of trans-people. Apparently even some trans-people are not respectful of some other trans-people because of some type of trans-related difference. That seems very odd.
Her "transgender flavor" is strawberry, his is chocolate, yours is vanilla. So what? We all struggle, we are all people with feelings. We want acceptance and support. Kindness goes a long way. :)
Chrissy
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on December 08, 2018, 12:57:59 PM
Her "transgender flavor" is strawberry, his is chocolate, yours is vanilla. So what? We all struggle, we are all people with feelings. We want acceptance and support. Kindness goes a long way. :)
Chrissy
But you have to admit that the strawberry flavor is really the better trans flavor! >:-) :angel: ;D
English is not my native language, but isn't 'weird' a kind of synonym for 'queer'? 'Queer' is already widely used for describing LGBT people.
Yes. Most people say my behavior and appearance is weird, but some of them confess that they were surprised that I am so much ordinary once they became intimate with me.
barbie~~
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on December 08, 2018, 12:57:59 PM
I have to admit that I disklike it more when someone under the lgbtq++ umbrella is being unwelcoming and disparaging to trans-people solely for being trans, than when straight people do that, although both situations are not good at all. Both situations are disappointing.
It just seems like those in the lgbtq++ umbrella, regardless what category, likely have been ostracized as a group or even personally and they should be empathetic and welcoming of trans-people. Apparently even some trans-people are not respectful of some other trans-people because of some type of trans-related difference. That seems very odd.
Her "transgender flavor" is strawberry, his is chocolate, yours is vanilla. So what? We all struggle, we are all people with feelings. We want acceptance and support. Kindness goes a long way. :)
Chrissy
People just don't get it. :icon_cry2:
Quote from: barbie on December 08, 2018, 01:08:56 PM
English is not my native language, but isn't 'weird' a kind of synonym for 'queer'? 'Queer' is already widely used for describing LGBT people.
The word queer was used in this context but that was quite long ago.
In this case the word weird is being used like "strange" or "unusual" with a negative connotation.
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on December 08, 2018, 01:15:35 PM
The word queer was used in this context but that was quite long ago.
In this case the word weird is being used like "strange" or "unusual" with a negative connotation.
I like how Portland uses it: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keep_Portland_Weird
Quote from: barbie on December 08, 2018, 01:08:56 PM
English is not my native language, but isn't 'weird' a kind of synonym for 'queer'? 'Queer' is already widely used for describing LGBT people.
Yes. Most people say my behavior and appearance is weird, but some of them confess that they were surprised that I am so much ordinary once they became intimate with me.
barbie~~
Hi Barbie.
I think that queer can be used as a synonym for strange, weird, unusual, or peculiar. In this thread, the word "weird" was being used like strange, unusual, or odd, in a conversation that was not affirming in any way, in fact, in a negative or disparaging manner.
However, the word queer has often been used nowadays to refer to people with same-sex sexual identity or desires. That may have become the primary meaning or usage of the weird queer, although it is also now becoming used for gender identity situation descriptions when the person's gender does not conform only to the birth sex of the person.
Chrissy
Quote from: Devlyn on December 08, 2018, 01:20:06 PM
I like how Portland uses it: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keep_Portland_Weird
Oh. I didn't know that, but I guess I might have been weird enough there.
(https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4839/46183069762_47d6e38d7e_c.jpg) (https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4915/44416612080_a5016c521c_c.jpg)
barbie~~
Quote from: NatalieRene on December 08, 2018, 12:28:25 PM
Lol it seems no one has figured out yet that God is the only entity that casts final judgment.
Aye, they can't even absorb their own dogma, much less facts.
Ask them how exactly someone is supposed to "pray the trans away" though and they
really show themselves up.
No, it hasn't happened to me. At Christmas will be having big family lunch with a lot of relatives I don't normally see, so who knows? I suspect some may think it, but will be too polite to say anything.
It will be the first time for a lot of them seeing me looking feminine so I am sure it will be an interesting time for all.
I have a cis male friend, who I think doesn't really get it, from what he says he still thinks I am a man, who *decided to become* a woman which I find annoying, but I understand it's a big leap in his thinking understanding what trans is.
~Dee.
Yes I have been told flat out face to face that I am weird for being trans. This has happened at work where reputation and trust are very important. I maintain a fleet of medical aircraft for a living and people need to know you are totally serious about the job.
I now have breasts that show, longish hair - often tied back- I think I may be entering the weird phase between genders.
I am liked and respected at work but people are talking. I must make a statement at the next engineers meeting. I feel steadfast even though this will result in some harm and some good.
I dont mind being weird!
Kirsten x.
ps Avatar is 2016
Yes - my mom said it was weird.
The thing is....I don't know what it's like NOT to be transgender. Not wanting to be a woman is what seems weird to me!
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on December 08, 2018, 12:57:59 PM
I have to admit that I disklike it more when someone under the lgbtq++ umbrella is being unwelcoming and disparaging to trans-people solely for being trans, than when straight people do that, although both situations are not good at all. Both situations are disappointing.
It just seems like those in the lgbtq++ umbrella, regardless what category, likely have been ostracized as a group or even personally and they should be empathetic and welcoming of trans-people. Apparently even some trans-people are not respectful of some other trans-people because of some type of trans-related difference. That seems very odd.
Her "transgender flavor" is strawberry, his is chocolate, yours is vanilla. So what? We all struggle, we are all people with feelings. We want acceptance and support. Kindness goes a long way. :)
Chrissy
@ChrissyRyan
I sometimes question the sincerity of the cis LGB community at large in embracing transgender folks as part of the larger community. Even though LGB leaders have embraced the transgender community, I think deep down a lot of LGB people do NOT view transgender people as equals and allies. That's particularly true now that the LGB community has solidified their rights and their standing in society over the last decade. A lot of them are like...we don't have a dog in the transgender fight, and some LGB folks are just as disdainful of the transgender community as straight folks.
My assumption with LGB folks is...don't assume they're going to be supportive.
Quote from: Kirsteneklund7 on December 08, 2018, 04:00:28 PM
I am liked and respected at work but people are talking. I must make a statement at the next engineers meeting. I feel steadfast even though this will result in some harm and some good.
Kirsten, hope that meeting does well for you. I don't know if you are comfortable talking in meetings usually, but this will be extra challenging.
Good Luck!
~Dee.
I have recently fallen in love all over again with Kesha's album Rainbow. She may not be everyone's cup of tea but the lyrics in her song "Bastards" really kind of speak to me on a new level through my beginning transition process....
Been underestimated my entire life
I know people gonna talk >-bleeped-<,
and darling, that's fine
But they won't break my spirit,
I won't let 'em win
I'll just keep on living, keep on living, oh
The way I wanna live
Don't let the bastards get you down, oh no
Don't let the >-bleeped-<s wear you out
Don't let the mean girls take the crown
Don't let the scumbags screw you 'round
Don't let the bastards take you down
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Quote from: sarahc on December 08, 2018, 04:18:26 PM
My assumption with LGB folks is...don't assume they're going to be supportive.
My gay male friends are supportive, but I am often left scratching my head at the things they say things about women. Sometimes I am left feeling uneasy about their attitudes to women in general, and well, when it comes to trans women, to be honest I have found their love drag queens a challenge.
I dunno what my point is
sarah, but sometimes the LGBT alliance feels like a strange mix.
~Dee.
Quote from: dee82 on December 08, 2018, 04:32:58 PM
Kirsten, hope that meeting does well for you. I don't know if you are comfortable talking in meetings usually, but this will be extra challenging.
Good Luck!
~Dee.
Thank you Dee. I plan on making it short & sweet & to the point. The chips will fall where they may.
Kirsten.
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Quote from: Sky1090 on December 08, 2018, 04:35:43 PM
I have recently fallen in love all over again with Kesha's album Rainbow. She may not be everyone's cup of tea but the lyrics in her song "Bastards" really kind of speak to me on a new level through my beginning transition process....
Been underestimated my entire life
I know people gonna talk >-bleeped-<,
and darling, that's fine
But they won't break my spirit,
I won't let 'em win
I'll just keep on living, keep on living, oh
The way I wanna live
Don't let the bastards get you down, oh no
Don't let the >-bleeped-<s wear you out
Don't let the mean girls take the crown
Don't let the scumbags screw you 'round
Don't let the bastards take you down
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Love it!
Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk
Quote from: Sky1090 on December 08, 2018, 04:35:43 PM
I have recently fallen in love all over again with Kesha's album Rainbow. She may not be everyone's cup of tea but the lyrics in her song "Bastards" really kind of speak to me on a new level through my beginning transition process....
Been underestimated my entire life
I know people gonna talk >-bleeped-<,
and darling, that's fine
But they won't break my spirit,
I won't let 'em win
I'll just keep on living, keep on living, oh
The way I wanna live
Don't let the bastards get you down, oh no
Don't let the >-bleeped-<s wear you out
Don't let the mean girls take the crown
Don't let the scumbags screw you 'round
Don't let the bastards take you down
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
So true
Quote from: Sky1090 on December 08, 2018, 04:35:43 PM
I have recently fallen in love all over again with Kesha's album Rainbow. She may not be everyone's cup of tea but the lyrics in her song "Bastards" really kind of speak to me on a new level through my beginning transition process....
Been underestimated my entire life
I know people gonna talk >-bleeped-<,
and darling, that's fine
But they won't break my spirit,
I won't let 'em win
I'll just keep on living, keep on living, oh
The way I wanna live
Don't let the bastards get you down, oh no
Don't let the >-bleeped-<s wear you out
Don't let the mean girls take the crown
Don't let the scumbags screw you 'round
Don't let the bastards take you down
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Love it!
Lisa
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
No, not just for some but for everyone.
- Hal David, lyrics.
- Burt Bacharach, music.
Quote from: sarahc on December 08, 2018, 04:10:33 PM
Yes - my mom said it was weird.
The thing is....I don't know what it's like NOT to be transgender. Not wanting to be a woman is what seems weird to me!
And that is what I envy you about! This knowledge who you were and were supposed to be!
I, in turn had no gender identity, and was basically drifting through life, trying to be a man and filed at it.
Now, my body decided to become a woman, and I am excited to hopefully find a gender home.
I don't care what anybody says, I want to be a woman!
Quote from: Dietlind on December 08, 2018, 07:13:00 PM
And that is what I envy you about! This knowledge who you were and were supposed to be!
I, in turn had no gender identity, and was basically drifting through life, trying to be a man and filed at it.
Now, my body decided to become a woman, and I am excited to hopefully find a gender home.
I don't care what anybody says, I want to be a woman!
Love your story. I love hearing about your gender journey.
I wish I had xx chromosomes built in like you do- Then I could have some validation for my gender misalignment.
You are so lucky Dietlind -you have the option to just be a woman!
Kind regards, Kirsten.
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Quote from: Kirsteneklund7 on December 08, 2018, 07:53:36 PM
Love your story. I love hearing about your gender journey.
I wish I had xx chromosomes built in like you do- Then I could have some validation for my gender mialignment.
You are so lucky Dietlind -you have the option to just be a woman!
Kind regards, Kirsten.
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Thank you! But those darn XX did not make it easy for me in my younger years. I was supposed to be a guy, and by god, I tried hard to be one, but I never really reached the goal!
Now is payback time! yes, it is way easier for me to become a girl than it is for you ladies. Even my voice is ok high enough, I just have to unlearn the male speech pattern. Once that is done (it is a learned behavior), my only really remaining male identifiers is my little bit of plumbing that is left, and my thinly growing beard (that is treated with laser). The face you see in my avatar is my real face without any surgery done to it, and prior to any HRT (I just Photo-shopped a few wrinkles away)
Quote from: sarahc on December 08, 2018, 04:18:26 PMEven though LGB leaders have embraced the transgender community, I think deep down a lot of LGB people do NOT view transgender people as equals and allies. That's particularly true now that the LGB community has solidified their rights and their standing in society over the last decade. A lot of them are like...we don't have a dog in the transgender fight, and some LGB folks are just as disdainful of the transgender community as straight folks.
What makes it even sadder, as well as just annoying, is that they don't know their own history. If it wasn't for trans folks, Stonewall would have been just another police raid.
Let's not paint it as a one-way street, mention male on male sex around here and see how long it takes
someone to say "eewww"
The disdain flows both ways.
Quote from: Devlyn on December 09, 2018, 08:47:02 AM
Let's not paint it as a one-way street, mention male on male sex around here and see how long it takes
someone to say "eewww"
The disdain flows both ways.
I say be considerate and loving of all, regardless of their sexual identify or gender identity, even if their "identity combination" is something that does not appeal to you. :)
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
No, not just for some but for everyone.
- Hal David, lyrics.
- Burt Bacharach, music.
Chrissy
Hmm, let's see, our own public health system thinks we are mentally ill, as we still need to have a diagnosis with the F64.00 code to be able to change our names and gender. So in essence we get a paper which states that we are so mentally ill, they cannot treat us, so in the end we get to change our names and gender marker instead.
Other than that I see that a lot of people cannot separate gender, sexual orientation and presentation so I heard a lot of comments like "Why would you want to become a woman if you are interested in women?". I got a similar comment from my parents as well. They asked me what kind of relationship would that be if I become a woman and I stay with my girlfirend? Like they haven't seen lesbians before...
Quote from: Lynne on December 09, 2018, 10:49:11 AM
Other than that I see that a lot of people cannot separate gender, sexual orientation and presentation so I heard a lot of comments like "Why would you want to become a women if you are interested in women?". I got a similar comment from my parents as well. They asked me what kind of relationship would that be if I become a woman and I stay with my girlfirend? Like they haven't seen lesbians before...
I get this a lot. I know my parents will definitely think like this. My fiancé asked if I was going gay on her. I wanted to be sarcastic but chose to just educate her a little more. It seems like a lot of people just don't have the general education in gender studies.
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Quote from: Dietlind on December 08, 2018, 08:55:27 PM
Thank you! But those darn XX did not make it easy for me in my younger years. I was supposed to be a guy, and by god, I tried hard to be one, but I never really reached the goal!
Now is payback time! yes, it is way easier for me to become a girl than it is for you ladies. Even my voice is ok high enough, I just have to unlearn the male speech pattern. Once that is done (it is a learned behavior), my only really remaining male identifiers is my little bit of plumbing that is left, and my thinly growing beard (that is treated with laser). The face you see in my avatar is my real face without any surgery done to it, and prior to any HRT (I just Photo-shopped a few wrinkles away)
I dunno...it's been pretty hard to know what path you want to follow and for decades not being able to follow that path because you know that you will lose family relationships, your friendships and your professional career. The reality is that I had a successful life faking it as a guy. That success meant there was a lot more to lose.
I'm now at a point in my life where there is a lot less to lose, although I'm still going to lose most of my friendships and family relationships. But I've gotten to a point in my life where I'm willing to accept that.
Quote from: sarahc on December 09, 2018, 02:30:39 PM
I dunno...it's been pretty hard to know what path you want to follow and for decades not being able to follow that path because you know that you will lose family relationships, your friendships and your professional career. The reality is that I had a successful life faking it as a guy. That success meant there was a lot more to lose.
I'm now at a point in my life where there is a lot less to lose, although I'm still going to lose most of my friendships and family relationships. But I've gotten to a point in my life where I'm willing to accept that.
I came out to almost everyone I know earlier this year (including my son, my ex, and hr sisters, my nephews and nices, we all have still a close relationship), and amazingly nobody except of one female friend, showed any negative reactions. Our relationships have not changed at all. Te one negative reaction from a female friend was, was as if she feels I got a real bad illness, and just need the right medication to become again the manly man she knows!
I thought I would have a much harder time with me coming out.
Quote from: Dietlind on December 09, 2018, 09:12:25 PM
...The one negative reaction from a female friend was, was as if she feels I got a real bad illness, and just need the right medication to become again the manly man she knows!
Now, that is weird!
You probably never got the chance to tell her you're on the "right medication"!
Quote from: JudiBlueEyes on December 09, 2018, 09:32:54 PM
Now, that is weird!
You probably never got the chance to tell her you're on the "right medication"!
I did, but she did not believe it! She is very religious, and is now praying for my "healing"!
Quote from: Dietlind on December 09, 2018, 09:39:49 PM
She is very religious, and is now praying for my "healing"!
Im waiting for particular members of my family to pull this with me. The only healing I need is people like that to be more accepting of us. So, pray away! Maybe with enough prayers they'll be enlightened to see the error of their thinking
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
No I haven't - at least I think not. Recently I was briskly walking past a guy who said - "what is wrong with you?"
He didn't seem to be speaking to anyone in particular and I thought it was a 50/50 chance he was talking to me.
I would have to show a picture of his position and the circumstance and the other people in the area for it to really make sense so I will it leave at my 50/50 guesstimate.
Anyway - I briefly slowed down and then decided it wasn't worth going back to confront him because I was not certain.
If ANYBODY in my personal life said that I was weird for being trans we would be done - no exceptions. Friends - family - doesn't matter. I love them for who they are and I expect the same in return.
If someone in public or an acquaintance ever does there will be a problem.
I get misgendered often but the vast majority of the time it seems to be from people that don't know better and not being intentionally cruel.
I had been called so many names but I don't remember weird being one of them. Probably the most common thing from my family was,"I don't agree with you, you are going to hell, but I still love you and am here for you." My favorite response from my family was from my older brother,"I would rather have a live sister than a dead brother." Not that he has any idea how to deal with me now but he makes the effort occasionally. He texted me happy birthday and I love you last month, so that is something.
Quote from: Dietlind on December 09, 2018, 09:39:49 PM
She is very religious, and is now praying for my "healing"!
:) Over 35 years ago I was drug to every backwoods church in the Appalachian mountains from New York to Alabama in an effort to heal me of my illness. Not fun, especially when they tried to remove my "demons". Almost a year of that. I would say that the multitude of shrinks was worse, really what some of them did was criminal, as gross as what I had to do for a few shrinks was at least they never made me feel like I was evil. Wonderful times! There are groups of people that I don't like, politicians, shrinks, the Dallas Cowboys, but I despise religion. The wrong done in the name of good and religion is nearly unimaginable. There are so many good religious people but oh do ever hate religion.
No one should be made to feel like they are evil because their gender doesn't match their body. To my mind that is evil and I choose to not be accepting or forgiving of them.
Yes this happened a few days ago while shopping. The guy was lucky he was dealing with the new me because if someone had talked to me like he did two years ago the old me would have beat him to a pulp.
Instead when he said I was a freak I at first wanted to punch his lights out then I asked myself what good would it do? So I told my son to ignore the uneducated fool and we walked away.
Wow have I changed.
Love
Bobbie LeAnn
Quote from: Bobbie Ann on December 10, 2018, 05:28:31 AM
Yes this happened a few days ago while shopping. The guy was lucky he was dealing with the new me because if someone had talked to me like he did two years ago the old me would have beat him to a pulp.
Instead when he said I was a freak I at first wanted to punch his lights out then I asked myself what good would it do? So I told my son to ignore the uneducated fool and we walked away.
Wow have I changed.
Love
Bobbie LeAnn
I can relate to that! Prior to 2016 I was much more bloodyminded too. I was always happy to oblige to see who would end up a sorry bastard. Now I tend to see past the petty stuff.
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Quote from: Bobbie Ann on December 10, 2018, 05:28:31 AM
Yes this happened a few days ago while shopping. The guy was lucky he was dealing with the new me because if someone had talked to me like he did two years ago the old me would have beat him to a pulp.
Instead when he said I was a freak I at first wanted to punch his lights out then I asked myself what good would it do? So I told my son to ignore the uneducated fool and we walked away.
Wow have I changed.
Love
Bobbie LeAnn
Bobble LeAnn,
I am sorry this happened to you. I think it is good you were able to hold back punching the guy however I can fully understand why you would want to do so.
I wish you having lots of good times!
Chrissy
Quote from: Kirsteneklund7 on December 10, 2018, 06:16:29 AM
I can relate to that! Prior to 2016 I was much more bloodyminded too. I was always happy to oblige to see who would end up a sorry bastard. Now I tend to see past the petty stuff.
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Love your new avatar! :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on December 10, 2018, 07:14:47 AM
Bobble LeAnn,
I am sorry this happened to you. I think it is good you were able to hold back punching the guy however I can fully understand why you would want to do so.
I wish you having lots of good times!
Chrissy
Thank you Chrissy
It would take a lot more than that guy to get me down. Life is so much more enjoyable now.
Love
Bobbie LeAnn
Quote from: IAmM on December 10, 2018, 03:41:26 AM
but I despise religion. The wrong done in the name of good and religion is nearly unimaginable. There are so many good religious people but oh do ever hate religion.
You should meet my biggest cheerleader, my most favorite niece! She happens to be a Methodist pastor, and she uses me as an example to hammer tolerance into her congregation. After you would have met ehr, you would not despise religion but some of the people who say they do bad tings in the name of religion!
My pastor niece also dislikes those people wit a passion!
I have been called weird for many reasons, crossing gender boundaries is only one case!
I relish my uniqueness!
Yes, these days I just love looking weird. My whole life I've been thin and androgynous looking and have worn long feminine hairstyles most of my life. When I was younger I was bothered by the occasional negative comments, which resulted in alternately trying to look "normal". During the last "normal" period it occurred to me that the only advantage of looking this way was that people I didn't want to associate with anyway seemed more accepting of me. The advantage of looking "weird" is that you tend to filter out most of the grinches before you even meet them. I live by the saying "those who matter don't mind, and those who do mind don't matter" (sometimes attributed to Dr. Seuss).
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on December 08, 2018, 09:49:15 AM
Being misgendered or clocked is bad enough but as a mtf when you are told something like, "You should spend time with a psychiatrist or a psychologist because this wanting to be a woman sounds like there could be something that you really need to figure out that is troubling you, because it is not right for someone born as a male to think that he is a woman in the wrong body. That is really weird."
"Weird" would have been a calm, measured reaction compared to what I got. "You should have been seeing a psychiatrist to help you learn to love the body you have!" And other, worse things that I covered in my transition thread.
Quote from: Devlyn on December 10, 2018, 07:32:56 AM
Love your new avatar! :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Thank you Devlyn!
Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk
Quote from: Lyric on December 10, 2018, 10:28:55 AM
Yes, these days I just love looking weird. My whole life I've been thin and androgynous looking and have worn long feminine hairstyles most of my life. When I was younger I was bothered by the occasional negative comments, which resulted in alternately trying to look "normal". During the last "normal" period it occurred to me that the only advantage of looking this way was that people I didn't want to associate with anyway seemed more accepting of me. The advantage of looking "weird" is that you tend to filter out most of the grinches before you even meet them. I live by the saying "those who matter don't mind, and those who do mind don't matter" (sometimes attributed to Dr. Seuss).
An interesting point is that there is some differences between men and women. Most women tend to be more accepting, but some men, especially aged or religious ones, tend to admonish me at first. They give up once they know my career. Many of my Facebook friends are women. They like to comment on my fashion and kids.
barbie~~
Yes I have. My wife also has called me a pervert (and worse) quite a few times even though I explained that it's not sexual and I had virtually no sex drive.
Some folks at work have certainly hinted that I'm weird for being trans, but I let most of it go as I don't want to rock the boat too much.
Yes, he also spat in my face so I broke his nose
Oh yes, multiple times in many ways. Being called "weird" was one of the nicer comments. I've had the religious ones that just coultn't hold back and had to "share their beliefs" with me. I've had the knuckle-draggers ask me if I'm sick, crazy, etc. etc. I've had people call me queer, gay, a fa&&@t, etc. etc.
I tend to move on if it's mild because I know I'll just be going down to their level of stupidity. When it's harsh and really offensive, it depends on the situation and danger level. Most times they'll get a cutting comment back...something down at their level they can understand.
I had one person tell me it's all in my head.
My answer to that is,
"Yeah, that's the problem. I need it outside my head for all to see."
Quote from: KarynMcD on December 11, 2018, 02:39:30 PM
I had one person tell me it's all in my head.
My answer to that is,
"Yeah, that's the problem. I need it outside my head for all to see."
Good response!
Chrissy
I was wondering, did medical people long ago mixup a trans-person as someone having multiple personalities?
Chrissy
Not in those exact words but my mom and sister did ask if I was sexually abused. I wasn't, but I guess they needed to rule that out before accepting me? I think that's a bit weird of them...
And recently on the street I had a guy tell me "you need help" assuming he meant I need psychological help because he read me as male trying to be female. I guess I'll never know since he was a complete stranger in a huge crowd of other complete strangers...
Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk
A very good friend of mine feels that I am sick, and just need the proper medication to become the manly man again, who she wants to hang out with!
The original archaic meaning of weird was fate or destiny.
The "Weird Sisters" "Fates" or "Norns" in mythology determined you fate.
Quote from: barbie on December 08, 2018, 01:08:56 PM
English is not my native language, but isn't 'weird' a kind of synonym for 'queer'? 'Queer' is already widely used for describing LGBT people.
Yes. Most people say my behavior and appearance is weird, but some of them confess that they were surprised that I am so much ordinary once they became intimate with me.
barbie~~
Quote from: Randi on December 28, 2018, 09:48:58 AM
The original archaic meaning of weird was fate or destiny.
The "Weird Sisters" "Fates" or "Norns" in mythology determined you fate.
Yes. It is so true.
Quoteweird (adj.)
c. 1400, "having power to control fate, from wierd (n.), from Old English wyrd "fate, chance, fortune; destiny; the Fates," literally "that which comes," from Proto-Germanic *wurthiz (source also of Old Saxon wurd, Old High German wurt "fate," Old Norse urðr "fate, one of the three Norns"), from PIE *wert- "to turn, to wind," (source also of German werden, Old English weorðan "to become"), from root *wer- (2) "to turn, bend." For sense development from "turning" to "becoming," compare phrase turn into "become."
The sense "uncanny, supernatural" developed from Middle English use of weird sisters for the three fates or Norns (in Germanic mythology), the goddesses who controlled human destiny. They were portrayed as odd or frightening in appearance, as in "Macbeth" (and especially in 18th and 19th century productions of it), which led to the adjectival meaning "odd-looking, uncanny" (1815); "odd, strange, disturbingly different" (1820). Related: Weirdly; weirdness.
https://www.etymonline.com/word/weird
Did have someone say that he just would not understand why anyone would want to change his or her sex (gender) and that these oddballs should use only the bathrooms for their born sex, not what they sex they want to be.
Despite making some good points I thought he should hear, I did not think he changed his mind in any way about this. He said that this was unnatural, period. His only concession was maybe for those born with organs from both sexes as an birth anomaly, as that might cause some natural confusion.
Chrissy
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on April 19, 2019, 07:12:43 PM
His only concession was maybe for those born with organs from both sexes as an birth anomaly, as that might cause some natural confusion.
Chrissy
Did he say in which bathrooms we can go? Or are we the ones who have to step behind a tree?
In 3 years I think maybe once. Here is why I am not sure.
As I have mentioned before I deal poker part time at a large casino. So it was pretty crowded and I walk past this guy and as I do he says 'what is wrong with you?'
I had pretty much passed him when he said it so I turned around and he was facing the other way but nobody was near him.
I think he was talking to me but I wasn't sure so I kept going. If he had said it directly to me or I was positive he was talking to me I promise you we would have had a little 'talk'.
Quote from: KimOct on April 19, 2019, 08:00:45 PM
In 3 years I think maybe once. Here is why I am not sure.
As I have mentioned before I deal poker part time at a large casino. So it was pretty crowded and I walk past this guy and as I do he says 'what is wrong with you?'
I had pretty much passed him when he said it so I turned around and he was facing the other way but nobody was near him.
I think he was talking to me but I wasn't sure so I kept going. If he had said it directly to me or I was positive he was talking to me I promise you we would have had a little 'talk'.
Was that in Hinckley, where the red necks and antilope roam?
Quote from: Dietlind on April 19, 2019, 07:54:34 PM
Did he say in which bathrooms we can go? Or are we the ones who have to step behind a tree?
Linde,
No, he did not say anything about the appropriate bathroom for those who are intersexed.
He did seem sympathetic to them, but certainly not a binary trans-person who was born in the opposite gender's body and wants to transition.
Chrissy
Quote from: KimOct on April 19, 2019, 08:00:45 PM
In 3 years I think maybe once. Here is why I am not sure.
As I have mentioned before I deal poker part time at a large casino. So it was pretty crowded and I walk past this guy and as I do he says 'what is wrong with you?'
I had pretty much passed him when he said it so I turned around and he was facing the other way but nobody was near him.
I think he was talking to me but I wasn't sure so I kept going. If he had said it directly to me or I was positive he was talking to me I promise you we would have had a little 'talk'.
Maybe he lost a lot of money and was talking to himself, asking, "What is wrong with you?" :)
Or perhaps he could have said that to someone he was with that day.
Chrissy
Quote from: Dietlind on April 19, 2019, 08:05:48 PM
Was that in Hinckley, where the red necks and antilope roam?
LOL. No. I don't like saying where because literally anybody can read this but I will make an exception this one time.
I deleted it now that Linde has read it. Oops. guess I can't delete Linde's quote of my quote.
Quote from: KimOct on April 19, 2019, 08:12:19 PM
LOL. No. I don't like saying where because literally anybody can read this but I will make an exception this one time.
Canterbury Park.
Never been there, only for horse stuff.
A couple times. Once by a woman who just went off the deep end in the middle of a store. Second time by my sister when I first came out.
Lisa
Had a patient wake up from anesthesia 2 weeks ago and ask me if I was a boy or a girl. I said, I am your nurse
Yes, by my niece, but she added that she loves me anyway....
I once had some older woman call me a "weirdo" at the grocery store. She was commenting to her friend, I think, not to me directly. That's the only time I can recall. There was a time that would have bothered me a lot more than it did then.
For those reading that are not out yet, the fear of what will happen is far worse than the reality. Just look at these stories, isolated incidents.
There are of course instances of violence toward our community so we should all be smart and safe but people we know or strangers rarely say the kind of stuff we fear before we come out.