Hey Everyone
I have heard the term trans trendy
and certainly don't want to insult anyone if they're here because of this.
because of my couple months of being here would leave me with very little knowledge of what really goes on in the trans scene, I thought I would reach out for opinions and if anyone knew someone as such.
To me I can't even imagine someone would put themselves through this just be trendy with the times.
Do to my limited knowledge and experience I thought I would ask all of you what you thought.
I haven't heard this phrase before, but it seems logical that it would appear sometime, sooner or later. I suppose there are hipsters everywhere who will do anything to be hip, though as you say, it seems crazy they would go to these lengths to do so. It also sounds like something transphobes would come up with as a put down. Those who think there's a conspiracy going on to break up "traditional family values" and come out with other choice statements such as "the nanny state led to the >-bleeped-< state"... might start assuming it's a fashion trend, or try to trivialize it as such.
Hope all is well in Utopia btw Tatiana?
Best Regards,
Johnni Gyrl ( formely Jenna Badgyrl )
I don't think there are many transgender going this route to be trendy, if at all. It is still a very rocky road plastered with misconceptions and animosity. Many here are still taking a large personal toll for their gender expression.
What has changed are two general things: Society has become more accepting of the fact that the assigned sex at birth sometimes does not match a persons identity. And Society has become more knowledgeable.
If I take a look at my personal history: If there would have been knowledge about transgender in the 80's I might have transitioned in my teen years. Growing up in a smaller, very conservative town, I may have still not done it back then. Even being perceived gay resulted in being branded and discriminated against. Of course, this has now changed too.
So there are these two factors, knowledge and acceptance, which have changed in recent years. Now you have the normal percentage of transgender as well as the big group of transgender - like me - who have suppressed their feelings for so many years. This does result in a larger number of people to come out as trans which could then be interpreted as a trend. It will even out over time.
So, no trend but a lot of catching up to do...
Hugs,
Sarah
This is the first time I hear about it and it's an awful concept and word. Anyone who puts themselves through this to be "cool" is clearly insane.
Darn, I thought it had something to with popular transgender fashion or something ;D
I have not head of anyone going through transition to be cool. The suffering is real. Me and my brothers and sisters suffer for years and years and sometimes...pretty often with thoughts and actions to end our lives because of the unbearable pain inside.
Transition is not the magic pill that makes you happy automatically. Many of us continue to have hard times when we are "done". Friends and partners might leave, bullying at work.
Why would anyone in their right mind do this to be trendy? It's beyond my imagination.
Tony
Quote from: MeTony on July 11, 2018, 02:04:22 PM
I have not head of anyone going through transition to be cool. The suffering is real. Me and my brothers and sisters suffer for years and years and sometimes...pretty often with thoughts and actions to end our lives because of the unbearable pain inside.
Transition is not the magic pill that makes you happy automatically. Many of us continue to have hard times when we are "done". Friends and partners might leave, bullying at work.
Why would anyone in their right mind do this to be trendy? It's beyond my imagination.
Tony
I absolutely agree.
Yeah, that's a hard one for me to wrap my head around too - I see and hear of all kinds of people saying and do all kinds of crazy stuff pretty much daily though so I can't say I'm really all that surprised by it - Things that make you go Hmmm, right?
The concept is usually applied to afab people who are on the non-binary/ trans masculine spectrum. It's meant to imply that they aren't really trans, and are just following a crowd/ don't want to be objectified as women hence they "try to be boys." It's like "sudden onset dysphoria" sort of a made up concept to deny trans identities.
Can people who aren't trans think they are? Sure. But that term is part of the whole "transgender people aren't a thing, it's just social contagion" field.
I have heard these suggestions for nearly three years now. I think the term and idea might exist but mostly in the cis mind. I don't really think anyone who truly transitions does it to be hip, gnarly, cool, fly, phat, lit, on fleek...(choose your favorite term from appropriate social groups and decades).
I am not saying cis folks are dumb or coming down on them. Some of my best spouses are cis ;) (I really only have one). I just think it is not something you do to fit in and it doesn't really make sense unless your are really impressionable.
"Here, let me shove a needle in your face, send voltage through it, pick the hair out while you play a power point presentation of what surgery in your most private parts and thoughts will feel and look like..." That's just part of it.
If I am wrong, It is so groovy that I am as hip as I am ;)
All you hippie chicks and cats, stay as chill as you are. Everyone wants to be you. That's why they keep passing laws :D
Seriously though, have a great day.
With warmth,
Jacqui
I decided to delete my previous stupid remark. I read it again and the stupid light went off in my head.
Gosh everyone thanks so much with your ideas on this.
I heard the term while watching the National Geographic documentary gender revolution with Katie Couric.
It sure seemed like it was going on somewhere because it was brought up on that documentary but I just didn't know anything about it. I'm going to watch it again and pay closer attention to that part of it and see if I can draw any conclusions I'll be sure to come back if I come to any.
Thank you everyone so very much.
love you all Tatiana
I have known one person like this in my life. And it's kind of complicated to understand why someone would say they are transgender if they aren't. It's not necessarily to be "fashionable" or "cool". Sometimes it's to fit in with a group of people who you get on with.
This person was... very lonely. Very unhappy. Felt very marginalised and like no one would listen to them. I had several conversations with this person, through which it was revealed that they identified as such because they felt part of a group who didn't judge them. Didn't try and tell them who to be. And were generally warm and encouraging towards them. Which, in their case, was something they'd never really had before. They did it to fit in, and to be a part of something they were looking for... if not in quite the right way.
It took a while for this person to admit they weren't actually transgender. They were probably scared of my reaction, or whatever else. But having come to understand this person and why they behaved how they did, I kinda knew why, and the mental process behind it. Sometimes people just want to fit in, and a place to call home. And sometimes they do things that they may not think all the way through in order to get it.
I understand that need for finding people who don't want to hurt us, who don't want to laugh at us. So I couldn't be angry or upset with this person. Truth be told, trans people are some of the most accepting and understanding people I've ever met. So I can understand why someone like the person I spoke to would pretend in order to fit in and to be a part of that. Even if I don't think it's necessarily a good thing for either them or the people they associate themselves with. Humans are social creatures.
Perhaps there are some people who say they are trans just to be different, or cool, or whatever. But not everyone is like that. And sometimes you just have to understand the individual to understand why they do the things they do. :)
Sounds like something my father would say to try and deny that I'm trans should I ever tell the old coot...
His starting position is that "gender" doesn't even exist and the only thing that matters is chromosomes. He very conveniently never bothered knowing that there is such a thing as intersex which would destroy his little bubble about that. Found that out a few years back when my wife got into an argument with him about it. I told her not to try but... Yeah.
And all this while everyone was obliviously unaware "I" was even there! There my dear wife was defending me and she didn't even know it. Ha Ha (Sorry, I have to laugh about some things sometimes)
Hope that term never gains popular traction. /sigh
Thank you so much Sephirah
For validating that this concept does exist do to your first-hand experience with them.
And for explaining this concept with your words of wisdom and first-hand insight with them.
Wow so it does really exist thank you for providing me and everyone with your explanation.
As I mentioned right before you replied I'm going back to watch where I first heard that term used but really didn't understand it which was National Geographic gender revolution with Katie Couric and see if I can gain anymore insight.
thank you so much for your reply.
Love Tatiana
ive heard this term on more than one occasion, it pisses me off because its used for all the ftm transgenders in my town(all 5 of them) and its like im the only one with any respect and its only due to fear. like really people? who the hell is gonna go through all the hate, discrimination, and violence just to be "trendy"? you literally become a social outcast to be yourself, and that makes the term trans trendy insane, and I hate that someone would make a term like this just to put others down.
Ah, the transtrenders.
Trans "trenders" are currently understood by those outside of our circle to be people who do not experience dysphoria but who expect the same recognition or attention that sufferers of dysphoria and medical transitioners do. They can range from anything from teens LARPing at gender on tumblr (see: "space gender" and "tree gender" etc. and other such ridiculous inventions) to people who want to abolish the concept of gender altogether because they personally feel like it should be.
Frankly every time I discuss this "outside" I have to make a distinction between these people and those undergoing medical transition because I do not consider them to have our needs and concerns, and they frequently end up ridiculing transgender individuals as a whole in the eyes of the average person. I'm constantly having to defend the definition of what a medically-transitioning transsexual is for people who've come into contact with transtrenders, which I continue to do wherever I find it but I will be honest - they irritate me a great deal and they ARE harming our cause because people are slowly but surely becoming convinced trans people are not to be taken seriously as a result of them. The conventional understanding of what a transsexual is has now been replaced - with bemusement from a lot of people. You don't have to go far on the internet to find someone complaining about the concept of "infinite genders", a ridiculous amount of flags for all the dozens of "new" sexualities that have emerged from tumblr, or people chanting "TWO GENDERS" followed by a vitriolic screed in response. The general idea of "transgender" has now been eclipsed for many with what the trenders have wrought.
Yes, there are people out there who have done this because they have no idea the harm it does to our community, or they don't care about the harm it does, and they simply want attention or to feel special. Personally, I find the idea of co-opting someone's serious medical condition and struggles for your own amusement to be repulsive.
I'll mention as well that I see lots of attention daily being shone on the topic of trans people in political groups and circles online, and not of the good sort, as a result of the damage to our rep this brought. It seems like a day doesn't go by when I don't have to explain to (an irate) someone the difference between medical transition and a tumblr account - between gender dysphoria and someone's idle vagary on gender. I'm afraid we've become the very cutting edge of a 'culture war' that I do not think will be going in favour of the trenders, and that we'll be dragged through the mud for.
I have only met two trans people in person throughout my life, at least that were open about it. As for what I've read in the forum as well as other sources on the internet from other trans people, nearly all of them expressed wishes to be cis. This is not to say that they hate being trans. Instead, they would rather have been born cisgender either as their assigned sex or their gender. Either way they wished they were cisgender. That said, how trendy can something be if not even those who are want to be? That's just my two cents.
Thanks Kylo and Lilly
For more proof that this really does exist. when I first heard the term I was probably 50/50 that there were people out there that were willing to do things to their body and mind for very different reasons than why we are all here.
Kylo I really love the way you started your reply and are very knowledgeable on this subject provided with your very eloquent words.
And I'm sorry for not responding to each and everyone of you because all of you are really super smart compared to the couple months of attained knowledge I acquired since I've been here.
And I did get distracted when I noticed a bull moose grazing in my backyard and justed watched him outside for about an hour.
Thank you all for educating me and sharing your knowledge freely.
love Tatiana
On another site, I learned about one trans trender that did it for a peculiar reason. This person thought of themself as a "social justice warrior", and would bash anybody (including transsexuals and intersex) if they did not believe everything the exact same way as that trans trender did. More often than not, it was all about bashing cis people for having questions. Yes, I feel his person was a bit demented, not only for being hateful, but for opting to alter their body in order to have an excuse to be hateful.
Maybe I just don't understand why anyone would do it. Perhaps I really don't want to know why or how someone would do that. It seems to me that person had a very special circumstance that we don't encounter much.
Quote from: Lady Sarah on July 11, 2018, 08:10:08 PM
On another site, I learned about one trans trender that did it for a peculiar reason. This person thought of themself as a "social justice warrior", and would bash anybody (including transsexuals and intersex) if they did not believe everything the exact same way as that trans trender did. More often than not, it was all about bashing cis people for having questions. Yes, I feel his person was a bit demented, not only for being hateful, but for opting to alter their body in order to have an excuse to be hateful.
Maybe I just don't understand why anyone would do it. Perhaps I really don't want to know why or how someone would do that. It seems to me that person had a very special circumstance that we don't encounter much.
that doesn't sound like a justice warrior, that sounds like someone that was so hurt as a child that they only know hate, and are lashing out at the world for it. that person makes me feel sorry and pity them, and I wish that there weren't people like that out there. and not to be mean, but that person needs a frickin therapist or some way that is nonviolent to vent this anger and hate out so they aren't harming the rest of us.
Quote from: Lilly G on July 11, 2018, 08:19:40 PM
that doesn't sound like a justice warrior, that sounds like someone that was so hurt as a child that they only know hate, and are lashing out at the world for it. that person makes me feel sorry and pity them, and I wish that there weren't people like that out there. and not to be mean, but that person needs a frickin therapist or some way that is nonviolent to vent this anger and hate out so they aren't harming the rest of us.
This may be the only person I encountered that admitted to being transtrender, and I certainly hope nobody else is doing it for hateful purposes. Unless they admit it, it is unwise to assume that anybody is. But, this person seemed mentally unstable enough to be one of those people that will abuse public restroom priviledges, just to make a twisted, absurd point.
I can't imagine anyone would be crazy enough to go through all of this to be trendy. I've always held that you can't change your true nature, anyone crazy enough to do all this for a trend would end up with the same problem we have - dysphoria and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
Very interesting topic to bring up, Tatiana, and when I saw it, my chest got all knotted. I can't go into as much detail as I would like to because of time, but I want to throw in my experience, too. Kylo and Sephirah amazing insight as per usual. In fact, it was Sephirah's post which put me at ease.
I often am worried that I am just transgender similar to what you might call a transtrender.
I didn't really experience dysphoria before transitioning
I don't intend to get SRS or FFS
I am constantly gushing over how much I love this community(and I do)
I do not think I wish I were cis from birth
I did not even think I could be transgender until 30(no, dressing up as a kid)
I d In the R U OK thread, I did express this worry after reading another thread that sparked it.
This thread put my weary thoughts at ease, though. Because I was making steps to transition FOR MYSELF and only AFTER realizing I needed to transition socially(because I had 0 social life before transitioning) did I seek out a community. And we have a wonderful community, and I love you all! <3
I can totally understand if a person saw a supportive community or wanted attention that they would lie in order to receive it. I barely understand some of the sexualities mentioned and genders I see on Twitter, but I support people if that's genuine for them.
I was always a bit of an outcast, and I have lied in the past about my gender/sex in order to garner attention. I honestly can't remember exactly why for the first one, the second was because it was what I thought I was supposed to be. I actually told someone I was a hermaphrodite on Final Fantasy 11. I do not understand why I said that or where it came from, and it's not like I told many people this either, it was 1 maybe 2. I did say I was gay, even going so far as to flirt with a 40-yr old music teacher while I was 16 or so; and I ALMOST traveled to meet him and uh... *music starts playing*
I agree, it does hurt real transgender folk, and it sucks that people have to feel so desperate for attention/love that they often lie to others or themselves, too.
I'm trying to understand is it possible at all. Lets assume, someone made SRS, changed the docs, changed his/her life. The person became trendy. But it is not his/her gender, what about the dysphoria ? So, if people could do it for trend then there is no dysphoria, or we don't know what dysphoria is
Late to the topic here, but my opinion is this falls into the same category as the 'transgender agenda.' I think it comes from those who would try to delegitimize us in any way possible. My transition was anything but trendy, and as for my agenda, it is highly personal to my life. Any activistic thoughts (agenda) on my part would be to counter the massive social stigma that society puts on us. Without any type of attempt to counter the world's horrible portrayal of us, it would continue as is. My hat is off to anyone brave enough to speak out. Even this Pope who was looked at as more progressive on gay rights, seems to push the thought that we are trying to recruit others, especially young people. Would any of you want to draw someone into dealing with trans issues if they weren't trans? Don't think so. Sorry if this is a tangent, but I seem to have a 'hidden agenda' that even I didn't know about. ;D :P
Hello again Tatiana
Yes the term applies here in UK also.
I think if a cisperson pretended to be trans to be trendy, then I think such a person would fall due the gatekeeping process. Surgery would not be permitted. HRT would hopefully not be permitted. That is why we have therapists and psychologists.
I think one reason this group is gradually gaining traction is that so many people do not take us seriously and I think what we are doing is "life style choice" which I frankly find insulting. The media which I feel is mainly against us wishes to give support to any group which may intentionally or inadvertently give us a bad name.
These transtrenders do not have GD, they are not transgender, they are not serious and they are helping the opposition to maintain the social taboo against our community.
Hugs to you
Pamela
Quote from: sarah1972 on July 11, 2018, 01:33:53 PM
I don't think there are many transgender going this route to be trendy, if at all. It is still a very rocky road plastered with misconceptions and animosity. Many here are still taking a large personal toll for their gender expression.
What has changed are two general things: Society has become more accepting of the fact that the assigned sex at birth sometimes does not match a persons identity. And Society has become more knowledgeable.
If I take a look at my personal history: If there would have been knowledge about transgender in the 80's I might have transitioned in my teen years. Growing up in a smaller, very conservative town, I may have still not done it back then. Even being perceived gay resulted in being branded and discriminated against. Of course, this has now changed too.
So there are these two factors, knowledge and acceptance, which have changed in recent years. Now you have the normal percentage of transgender as well as the big group of transgender - like me - who have suppressed their feelings for so many years. This does result in a larger number of people to come out as trans which could then be interpreted as a trend. It will even out over time.
So, no trend but a lot of catching up to do...
Hugs,
Sarah
Hello Sarah
I just wish to add to my previous comment that I completely agree with you. It is not a proper trend as such. Whereas I believe the societal taboo still applies today (especially in the media), essentially your second para is correct. There is not so much opposition as there was. We are gradually gaining acceptance. We shall win!
You make an interesting point about transgender statistics - so many of us are now coming out of hiding but I am not so sure the "catching up" will decline as I suspect there will still be so many who will remain in hiding. Very sad!
Hugs to you
Pamela
Sarah
Just to clarify on the statistics: I think many will remain in hiding and continue to come out later in life and therefore I think we will continue to be an increased demographic for some time to come.
Pamela
There are always outliers and weirdos associated with every human condition. There are those that want to grind their axes to better split our heads open, resorting to presenting such cases as somehow being the norm when it is no where near so. A weak way to make a weak point in their weak argument.
Stevi
I cant understand why somone would want to go through transitioning to be trendy
Any story that comes on the news in my country has so much social backlash
That I believe alot of trans people are afraid to even come out
The few times I've seen the term used, it's been applied to prominent non-binary YouTubers like Ash Hardell, so it's people who are both seeking and receiving a lot of attention (as anyone on YouTube does, that's not a bad thing) and who may have much less need for medical intervention and/or external approval for procedures than an MTF or FTM.
Whether people like this are "legit" or just being "trendy," I don't know, but I don't think it really matters, either. I'm not inclined to question anyone who wants to buck gender norms for any reason.
Didn't the term come about (as a derogatory term) after the increased awareness and visibility following Caitlyn Jenner's transition? As in "you're just doing this now because Caitlyn made it trendy".
The term wasn't used, but I've been accused of starting transition when I did because of Caitlyn.
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
To me personal choice trumps anything. if someone is choosing this road recreationally or otherwise, so be it. It may be hard to fathom but it is their choice and their identity. If in doing so, they cause issues with the rest of the community publically, then they have to deal with the consequences of that.
Quote from: pamelatransuk on July 12, 2018, 08:11:18 AM
Hello Sarah
I just wish to add to my previous comment that I completely agree with you. It is not a proper trend as such. Whereas I believe the societal taboo still applies today (especially in the media), essentially your second para is correct. There is not so much opposition as there was. We are gradually gaining acceptance. We shall win!
You make an interesting point about transgender statistics - so many of us are now coming out of hiding but I am not so sure the "catching up" will decline as I suspect there will still be so many who will remain in hiding. Very sad!
Hugs to you
Pamela
The "catching up" will always happen in waves or such because many will be afraid to come out as youth and at early stages for fear of getting into the more harmful and painful situations like I am. the hiding will always happen because there will always be those that are unaccepting and it sickens me to have to say that, but I agree with you here pamela, the catching up will be a thing as long as bigots are in existance.
"people hate what they fear, and fear what they do not understand" -Mathew
hope this quote if not the message helps someone out,
love,
lilly
When I first started this thread I did so most delicately thinking what if someone is out here because of this.
I just don't want to insult anyone even though I am insulted by them, but that's just the way I work.
But I soon realized that if anyone's here because of this trend that it would be impossible to operate as we all do together. And they would soon be sniffed out by all of you.
It looks like I kind of stirred up a hornet's nest of passion with this topic, justifiably so.
I can't thank everyone enough from what I've learned from each and everyone of you.
And it's wonderful to have two of my buddy's here contributing.
Thank you so much, o talkative one, I know you well enough in the short time we've had together that you are not one of these trenders Eryn.
And to my very special first buddy that I'll never forget, Pamela. You really poured it on out here, thank you so much.
Love you all Tatiana
:police:
I understand and follow the OP discussion but lets also remain respectful of others.
10. Bashing or flaming of an individual or group is not acceptable behavior on this website and will not be tolerated in the slightest for any reason. This includes but is not limited to:
Advocating the separation or exclusion of one or more group from under the Transgender umbrella term. The same restriction applies to advocating the removal of the T from GLBT.
Suggesting or claiming that one segment or sub-segment of our community is more or less legitimate, deserving, or real than any others.
Posting any topic or making any post that suggests that Trans people are not really men (FTM) or women (MTF), even if done for the purposes of criticism or discussion.
Posting any messages that engages in personal attacks and/or is actively or passively aggressive no matter the provocation.
I don't want to see this thread get into delegitimising any members of our community.
Cindy
Oof. What a topic. I've definitely encountered the term, along with other gems like 'sudden onset gender dysphoria' and 'desistance'.
The terms are not broadly used within the transgender community. They are used, and used heavily, by a number of groups of a certain political and religious bent, as a way of describing transgender people very inaccurately. In particular these terms are used to describe transgender youth in a very negative light.
A "trans trender" is supposedly someone who claims to be transgender because it is the cool thing to do, "everyone is doing it" or some similar rationalization. I have had some claim that I wanted to transition because of this, that I had too much time on my hands in retirements and because Bruce decided to transition to Caitlyn, I wanted to also!
*SIGH*
"Sudden Onset Gender Dysphoria" is another made-up term. Actual gender dysphoria has three properties that mark it as being real; persistent , insistent , and consistent gender identification as a gender other than that sex assigned at birth, as characteristics of dysphoria present in the individual. It is persistent, and consistent, not appearing 'all of a sudden'. The only thing sudden about it is someone finally figuring out or admitting what is going on within them.
(Note that a person, particularly youth raised in a very affirming and supportive environment may not necessarily experience actual gender dysphoria, but may still have that persistent , insistent , and consistent gender identification as a gender other than that sex assigned at birth. When supported, loved, and assured that they will grow up correctly, albeit with a bit of medical intervention around and following puberty, they might not experience dysphoria. This is a wonderful thing!)
The terms are real, out there, and not particularly supportive of our community. I see them used primarily as a component of arguments that we are not real, and that supporting or accepting us in any way is injurious to us!
You can see the terms in use in various references this article points to, for example:
https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2018/06/conservative-medias-attacks-trans-people-become-orwellian/ (https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2018/06/conservative-medias-attacks-trans-people-become-orwellian/)
I'm going to try and explain again and hopefully I make more sense this time. My life until two years ago was a charade. I pretended to be a man most my life. While I am not feminine physically I do have many of the traits. Such as being emotional, seeking agreement through consensus, lack of ego, talking out problems, compassion. At least these are the traits most women I know. I grew tired long ago talking of sports and cars and guns. I support women's rights and I support our rights. I would never do this because it's trendy. I have been waiting all my 66 years. There is nothing trendy except maybe the clothes I wear. If I could go further it would be a no brainer but I am happy that I am now in my right mind. No reports of depression for a year. During this time I have met some exceptional people that I never would have known if I had not taken the chance. I truly am blessed.
Oy... Reading that article makes my head hurt. How can people be that bothered by something that doesn't affect them at all? I've lived around it my whole life and it still boggles my mind.
Hello Michelle
Thank you so much for shedding light on this subject with your professional assessment and explanation.
It seems to reflect the consensus of what other members expressed.
You most certainly are a tremendous asset to have here at Susan's to shed your professional experience in these circumstances
I admit I didn't know squat about this subject when I first threw it out here.
but thanks to you and everyone else I have learned a tremendous amount
And for providing a link with more information on this subject.
Love Tatiana.
It's a difficult and contentious subject for sure - Caitlyn certainly helped a number of folk out of the closet to be themselves, and certainly helped others to ask themselves the questions that up to that point they didn't dare because of fear.
If one person uses this to become themselves, then personally it's academic. I have to trust that the gatekeeping process does its job.
The concerns come from the ease and accessibility of self medication, and the inevitability that some will make the wrong decision for them - as a community we need to be inclusive, of all, no matter how their journey started, or how it ends.
Concern also comes from the designation of these personal decisions being deemed a lifestyle choice, and that the quiet numbers emerging from the shadows to try to be themselves, instead of something they are not; as a trend - as a fashion. The portrayal of our challenges as such is another simplistic way of trying to keep us marginalised - it will be adopted and used as such, until there is a broader understanding in the population as a whole.
The bottom line is simply that as we know, there are more of us sat waiting for our chance to be able to be ourselves than could ever be called a trend, or a fad. It's going to take a while for the general population to wrap their heads around that tbh.
(Hugs)
Rowan
In the darkest recesses of the Internet, there exists a crowd who believe that being transgendered is trendy and thus, people flock to take upon the title for themselves, so they can unlock the mystical prize.. what that prize may be, I'm unsure, but it has something to do with getting a whole lot of attention, and being part of an agenda to undermine the whole of society.
I've talked to these people who regularly use the term transtrender, I've seen them in their natural habitat. They typically believe in a bunch of wacko conspiracy theories, think the feminists are out to get them, that gays have an agenda, that will impact them directly. That the government has a secret conspiracy, to enforce all straight CIS males, to date a transsexual. That the term CIS is derogatory.. the list of foolish beliefs just goes on and on.
Transtrender, is a derogatory term, to explain someone who is trans, it is a term used to explain that trans people are just doing it, to be popular. It is probably one of the most ridiculous concepts I have run across in a while. They seem to think, that transgendered people are just showered by love by everyone. But being the super geniuses they are, and swallowing a ton of red pills, they are on our dirty little secret, we are just doing it to be trendy.
You can usually spot these people, by their moronic behavior, and talking about how they are attack helicopters, they also typically think that trans people are trying to "trap" them.
It is best just to avoid people who use the term.
Michelle
Thank you for your explanation of the terms and the link yesterday.
I honestly did not appreciate the levels of bitterness and hatred towards us by the opposition as exemplified in your link.
Tatiana
Thank you sweetheart for another fascinating topic which we all need beware of as it is always better to know the tactics of the opposition - be one step ahead - in order that we may defend our community accordingly.
Hugs to you both
Pamela
To be fair, being transgender is "trendy" in the sense that much of liberal society pays attention to trans people, while white men are ignored. I've felt put down by liberalism my whole life because every time I try to address my issues, no one wants to listen or help me because, due to a combination of male gender roles and presumption of white guilt, white men are supposed to just "suck it up" when they feel bad and step aside so that other people who deserve it more can take the spotlight. It's pretty absurd, women and people of color openly talk about their own problems all the time in my social circles, but white men only talk about how bad other people have it, and never about their own problems. It's made me have to bottle up my issues without being able to deal with them, since no one is receptive.
In this sense, coming out as trans could be seen as an "upgrade" for me, though it's not something I'm personally comfortable with since I don't like the idea of people who ignored me suddenly deciding I'm worth their time just because of a superficial change in how they view me, when I was the same person with the same problems both before and after coming out. I actually decided not to transition for awhile specifically because I didn't want to deal with this.
As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I see the social media "Me Too" movement as many of you see the popularization of changing gender by the TransTrenders. In the short term they both seems demeaning and trivializing. I try to keep a positive attitude and remind myself "There is no such thing as bad publicity." Time will tell how they each plays out.
A big chunk of the "Trans Trender" label is fueled by the desistance mythos, which is built around a set of incorrect assumptions about gender nonconforming youth. The desistance mythos claims that most 'transgender youth' will desist from being transgender.
- Bad Assumption: Gender-nonconforming is transgender
- Bad Assumption: A person who stops appearing as gender-nonconforming does so forever
Young people may decide to explore this crazy cultural phenomenon we call
gender. It may be from curiosity, a sense of rebellion, an internal need, or a desire to match others in a peer group. These gender explorers form a large group that sociologists call
gender nonconforming.
A few of these
gender nonconforming individuals may display a
persistent, insistent, and consistent gender identity over a period of 6 months or more. These are individuals who may actually be
transgender persons. Note that others may be transgender persons as well, as not all transgender persons demonstrate gender nonconforming traits visible to others, but instead learn to hide, courtesy of the social pressures around them. 👋
In the
desistance myth, all persons displaying
gender nonconforming behaviors are assumed to be transgender, and when they stop displaying this behavior they are assumed to
desist from being transgender forever. These are the two bad assumptions at work.
Most
gender nonconforming youth won't meet that test of displaying a
persistent, insistent, and consistent gender identity over a period of 6 months or more. When they stop presenting
gender nonconforming behavior they have not 'stopped being transgender', as they were probably not transgender to start with.
Some
gender nonconforming youth might be transgender persons, but rather than push on against social pressure from others, including parents, religious leaders, and peers, are forced into hiding. When hiding, with the inevitable eventual onset of anxiety and depression, does not mean that they have 'stopped being transgender'.
A small portion of these
gender nonconforming youth
will be diagnosed as being transgender and may proceed to transition and live a happy and healthy life as their authentic selves. The
desistance mythos is constructed specifically to discredit these individuals and drag them down.
I would emphasize that it is not our task in life to pass judgement on others. Rather, we need to pay attention to ourselves, and seek the care or treatment that we may need on our path through life. We are ultimately responsible for ourselves. People must be free to explore themselves, and whether they decide a certain path is appropriate for themselves, or decide to change paths is entirely their responsibility. The imposition of external judgement and condemnation, whether for being gender nonconforming or a transgender person, is not appropriate, and should be avoided.
Quote from: Virginia on July 13, 2018, 07:55:02 AM
As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I see the social media "Me Too" movement as many of you see the popularization of changing gender by the TransTrenders. In the short term they both seems demeaning and trivializing. I try to keep a positive attitude and remind myself "There is no such thing as bad publicity." Time will tell how they each plays out.
I would love to know more about how you draw a correlation between the two. #metoo certainly gained public momentum, there is that but it is a movement to change what has gone on in patriarchal societies since the beginning of time. ie usurping a woman's (or other folks who are in positions of lower power) right to control her/their body and sexuality in the workplace and elsewhere. (disclaimer: I am also a survivor of sexual abuse, so #metoo)
From what I know of this subject (thanks Michelle - good explanation,) it's derogatory and used against us - that is the first thing Google says about the word and portrays people choosing this road because they want to. Again I would never stand in the way of anyone's choice or identity but what happened to include me in #metoo was very, very far from any choice and by coming out on social media about it, was never trivial.
Well... I feel a little bit put down by the #metoo thing, because it assumes that men are predatory while encouraging women to avoid verbally saying what they want, so men need to be super careful to avoid missing all sorts of non-verbal cues, or else risk being slandered on Twitter as a rapist because they touched their date's wrist or something. As someone who has had lifelong social anxiety issues with both fearing that others view me as a threat due to my appearance and also being very bad at reading non-verbal cues, this doesn't put me in a very good headspace. But every time I complain, I risk being labeled as some sort of mysoginist, just because I don't like how people judge me based on my appearance, which is related to the issues I mentioned above.
I think this whole trans trenders is way of the right labelling a increased amount of trans people as doing it because its trendy instead of the real reason why they are doing it.
I admit I wouldn't be transitioning if it was 10 years ago , I didnt even think I could become a women ( I DIDNT EVEN THINK I COULD DO IT!) but when I saw others doing it I realised my dream could become true. We gain empowerment through others , to some that is following a trend to others its simply empowerment. None of this changes my feelings , I have always felt like a women , but have been okay throughout my life to live as a man until recently., where I realised I could go beyond my assigned gender.
When I first through this topic out there my knowledge on it was Zip.
I didn't even know if it existed.
I would like to thank each and everyone of you for sharing your knowledge and opinion for our betterment.
Love Tatiana
Quote from: Michelle_P on July 13, 2018, 10:37:03 AM
A big chunk of the "Trans Trender" label is fueled by the desistance mythos, which is built around a set of incorrect assumptions about gender nonconforming youth. The desistance mythos claims that most 'transgender youth' will desist from being transgender.
- Bad Assumption: Gender-nonconforming is transgender
- Bad Assumption: A person who stops appearing as gender-nonconforming does so forever
Young people may decide to explore this crazy cultural phenomenon we call gender. It may be from curiosity, a sense of rebellion, an internal need, or a desire to match others in a peer group. These gender explorers form a large group that sociologists call gender nonconforming.
A few of these gender nonconforming individuals may display a persistent, insistent, and consistent gender identity over a period of 6 months or more. These are individuals who may actually be transgender persons. Note that others may be transgender persons as well, as not all transgender persons demonstrate gender nonconforming traits visible to others, but instead learn to hide, courtesy of the social pressures around them. 👋
In the desistance myth, all persons displaying gender nonconforming behaviors are assumed to be transgender, and when they stop displaying this behavior they are assumed to desist from being transgender forever. These are the two bad assumptions at work.
Most gender nonconforming youth won't meet that test of displaying a persistent, insistent, and consistent gender identity over a period of 6 months or more. When they stop presenting gender nonconforming behavior they have not 'stopped being transgender', as they were probably not transgender to start with.
Some gender nonconforming youth might be transgender persons, but rather than push on against social pressure from others, including parents, religious leaders, and peers, are forced into hiding. When hiding, with the inevitable eventual onset of anxiety and depression, does not mean that they have 'stopped being transgender'.
A small portion of these gender nonconforming youth will be diagnosed as being transgender and may proceed to transition and live a happy and healthy life as their authentic selves. The desistance mythos is constructed specifically to discredit these individuals and drag them down.
I would emphasize that it is not our task in life to pass judgement on others. Rather, we need to pay attention to ourselves, and seek the care or treatment that we may need on our path through life. We are ultimately responsible for ourselves. People must be free to explore themselves, and whether they decide a certain path is appropriate for themselves, or decide to change paths is entirely their responsibility. The imposition of external judgement and condemnation, whether for being gender nonconforming or a transgender person, is not appropriate, and should be avoided.
wow, honestly, I feel like this is something that would help those that have transgender children understand a little better what goes on. I just so happened to see this post as my dad walked by and he stopped and read the post, he then went to a calendar and checked how long ive been out, then came back and noted that its been 6 1/2 months....he missed the whole fact that ive been out on social media for like 3 years, just didn't answer to gender or name outside of those outlets. but oh well., that was off topic. this specific statement is honestly something I wish more people understood because it could help out with getting the public to be more accepting in the areas that aren't as accepting.
I guess that is why it takes years of therapy in Sweden, among other countries, before you get hormones and operations.
Tony
Hello bloo11,
I'm sure I'm wrong with the way you interpreted my opening statement, but are you calling me a transtrender? please excuse me if I'm wrong I usually am about half the time. But if I am not wrong I see how you could have drawn this conclusion by my opening statement, especially if you haven't read any of my stuff. I am old and you are young and when I was born in 61 I don't even believe the word transgender existed for quite some time.
Where you have massive trans experience at your young age and have already had much done to you.
The only knowledge I have about the trans scene is what I acquired in the couple months I've been here at Susan's. Because 25 years ago I ran away from civilization and culture and ignored news and any other man made things and have been hiding in the woods for the last 25 years until I came out at Susan's. Myself and many of the older members here have closeted it many years,me personally it's been 50 years of grinding dysphoria. because we wouldn't even dare talk about it unlike today we're even the very young are talking about it and receiving treatment this was unconscionable in the 60s. I hope that my friends and other members here that know me will Enlighten you. But I don't blame you if you feel that I am one of these trans trenders if it was based purely on the words of my opening on this thread.
If I'm completely off base with this please forgive me I'm getting used to being wrong because like I said I'm at age 56 and just really came out and only have the couple months here at Susan's to learn from. I live extremely remote up in the Northern Forest and my closest neighbors are miles away so there really isn't a big transene up here at all, I see more moose bear deer wolves than people.
If you do think that I am one of these trenders, know that I wish the very best for you none the less.
love Tatiana
Quote from: bloo11 on July 13, 2018, 10:19:28 PM
What do I think of trans trenders? Geez, I can't really say this without sounding mean, but I've done everything someone can possibly do, as far as transitioning goes (with exception to SRS, which I don't want), and I'm 24. So, when I hear someone call someone else a trans trender, the first thing that comes to my mind i that they are a trans trender (I see this a lot).
I personally try to avoid using the term 'trans trender' to refer to anyone else.
- It smacks of that nasty 'more trans than thou' hurtful putdowns I have experienced
- The term itself is used heavily by certain factions to trivialize the transgender experience and invalidate us
Quote
I've been a part of the trans community forever now, and 95% of the trans women I've known have never adopted feminine mannerisms. The local people that started when I did (4 years ago) don't even present as female but once every couple of weeks or something. So, that's how you know when it's not something they're putting their heart into: They never end up going full-time, they don't learn proper makeup, and they don't adopt (or usually already have) feminine mannerisms. I really think a lot of people are doing it for the wrong reasons, and I have to say that there's this odd inverse relationship between how beautiful one becomes (as a trans woman) and how passionate they are about trans politics, but that's a different story.
The folks who present as female only part-time and do not appear to progress into a transition are often still transgender folks. I know a number of these folks, and have had extended conversations with them and their significant others. There are often valid reasons why a person might not proceed with a transition but just occasionally cross-dress.
- They may not have the strong gender dysphoria that some transitioners experience
- They may have external constraints, a spouse or job, which prevent their transitioning
- They may not have fully accepted their own transgender nature
- And yes, some may not be transgender persons, but engage in this behavior for their own reasons
We don't get to validate or invalidate the identity of others. That is THEIR task.
Tatiana, girl,
I know in my heart that you're not a trans trender. And I don't think I should have suspected I was, either. Knowing what you've gone through and how your journey so far has helped liberate your loving spirit and kept your anger in check is certainly a large reason why I know you're genuine, hun.
Like it was discussed lower in the thread, trans trenders are usually younger people just seeking attention, don't feel dysphoria, and don't feel euphoria when being true to theirselves. And I know you've felt both dysphoria and euphoria while going through all of this. And attention is not what you're seeking at all.
You just posted this as an interesting topic(and a few others) to discuss for the community, and I think it helped many of us learn quite a bit about the subject. So, thank you!
Much love!
Michelle,
You're so right, it is up to the individual to inform us how they identify, and not for us to judge.
Rowan
Quote from: Sno on July 14, 2018, 03:45:36 PM
Michelle,
You're so right, it is up to the individual to inform us how they identify, and not for us to judge.
Rowan
I love this because it is definetly true, while some may or may not be true, the dysphoria of the wrong body and euphoria of being yourself are even themselves present in different degrees and vary widely between individuals, I personally have had to avoid mirrors most of the time so I don't break down crying because of my body( I haven't been able to look into a mirror without seeing in my eyes myself, then a body that is not me) and the euphoria as I am being myself, as I at least now can finally see myself instead of that which is not me, and no matter how hard it is, being you is worth it. but I digress, these trans trenders are something that we shouldn't even pay attention to because as someone earlier said, they have their reasons, and it isn't for us to judge them for it.
Love,
Lilly Garcia
I still don't see what is so trendy about being trans. Why would someone go through transition and everything else we go through unless he or she were transgender?
Speaking for myself, I'm not transgender because I think its trendy, fashionable, or cool. I'm transgender because I'm transgender. I believe that this is true for most of us who say they are trans.
Quote from: Danielle Kristina on July 19, 2018, 02:20:20 AM
I still don't see what is so trendy about being trans. Why would someone go through transition and everything else we go through unless he or she were transgender?
Speaking for myself, I'm not transgender because I think its trendy, fashionable, or cool. I'm transgender because I'm transgender. I believe that this is true for most of us who say they are trans.
I agree as I stated earlier, I see no reason to WANT to be trans its just a whole lot of work to get to where other are already.
Quote from: Danielle Kristina on July 19, 2018, 02:20:20 AM
I still don't see what is so trendy about being trans. Why would someone go through transition and everything else we go through unless he or she were transgender?
I would say the increased public awareness and acceptance of the phenomenon has made some people think of it as a means to feel special or to get attention, or perhaps they think it's exciting or interesting to play around with gender.
QuoteSpeaking for myself, I'm not transgender because I think its trendy, fashionable, or cool. I'm transgender because I'm transgender. I believe that this is true for most of us who say they are trans.
I would say the same, most of us wouldn't say it's a picnic to be trans, with the risks of violence or ostracism or being potentially thought of as being out of our minds. But I have noticed that "trenders" tended to appear only after it became relatively safe and even celebrated for them to do so. Where it isn't safe, they don't tend to appear. That's why I think in some cases it's little more than attention-seeking.
Quote from: Kylo on July 19, 2018, 04:11:19 AM
But I have noticed that "trenders" tended to appear only after it became relatively safe and even celebrated for them to do so. Where it isn't safe, they don't tend to appear. That's why I think in some cases it's little more than attention-seeking.
I stayed hidden for decades because it wasn't safe. When caught and 'fixed' in my youth, some of the counseling I received emphasized that if I regressed I would be involuntarily committed and treated via electroconvulsive and aversion therapy.
Seeing that other transgender persons could come out safely, and perhaps even be accepted (Jenner and others) informed me that the old treatment promised to me really didn't apply any more, and I could come out. Coming out still wasn't easy. It came at great personal expense.
Am I a trans trender? I've had former family say that I was just doing this for attention. Does THAT make me a trans trender?
Quote from: Michelle_P on July 19, 2018, 11:03:28 AM
I stayed hidden for decades because it wasn't safe. When caught and 'fixed' in my youth, some of the counseling I received emphasized that if I regressed I would be involuntarily committed and treated via electroconvulsive and aversion therapy.
Seeing that other transgender persons could come out safely, and perhaps even be accepted (Jenner and others) informed me that the old treatment promised to me really didn't apply any more, and I could come out. Coming out still wasn't easy. It came at great personal expense.
Am I a trans trender? I've had former family say that I was just doing this for attention. Does THAT make me a trans trender?
Hi Michelle,
I would not say that makes you a trans trender. Coming out is scary. In fact, I still have yet to come out myself. People are going to say what they want to say regardless of whether or not it's the truth. My sister came out trans a few years ago and I heard a lot of negative and untrue theories behind transgender people: the "transgender movement" is a conspiracy, transgender people are looking for attention, trans people are mentally ill, etc. None of this is true, however, but some believe those things are. Regardless, it is more acceptable to come out transgender today than in previous years and that makes it a little easier to come out today. People are more openminded today. Yes, there is still racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc. and things will never be perfect. However, they are better than they were in previous generations. Still, as new generations replace the old, tolerance of others continue to grow, and that makes coming out easier. While I have not yet come out myself, the only reason I would even consider coming out at all, especially since I witnessed first-hand what my trans sister went through, is the experience and hope all of you on the thread before me have shared.
Am I a trans-trender? Absolutely not. I know I'm transgender because of the gender battles I've dealt with since my earliest memories. Had I not had those internal gender struggles and only wanted to be trans because it somehow became popular, then without a doubt I'd be a trender.
Danielle
It baffles me, that people think that being trans is trendy to begin with. It is actually insulting, if I thought that coming out to the world would lead to me being embraced by everyone, having people cheering me on, unconditional love and acceptance, I would have done so years ago. It just goes beyond my level of reasoning to see how people mix transsexual and trendy together.
You know what, perhaps, just perhaps, in some minor circles it is "trendy", in ultra far left minority spots, which almost no one actually belongs to or even has access to. But to the vast majority, I don't see it that way. Back in reality though, where I unfortunately exist, this is not seen as trendy, no one is going to give me a hug when I come out, and tell me how great I am. More than likely I am going to be equated as some weird sicko, that has a "fetish" and looked down upon.
I absolutely hate the word trans trendy, in so many ways. I don't feel this way to be trendy, I don't want to eventually transition so I can be trendy. Who would go through that trouble? I could be trendy as a guy if I wanted to, if my goal in life was to be trendy, I could achieve it. Transitioning to me, is the exact opposite, it is full of fear, I don't expect people are going to treat me nicely, I doubt most TG people will even treat me with any decency.. it is just so ridiculous of a concept to me.
I would never consider anyone who is trans, just to be doing it to be trendy. That is so moronic, it is upsetting to see others honestly feel that way.
rabble rabble rabble...
Yeah, it upsets me. I'm sure there are trendy transgenders out there, but I doubt any of them are transgender just to be trendy.
I think many of us have been accused of doing this for attention by some uninformed person or another in our lives. There are a lot more simple and even more effective ways to get attention. I came out before Jenner did and I still had people say things like...."oh you mean like Caitlyn? " geez no, not really.
It is very important for me to second that, nobody needs to be meet anyone's standard of "transness", whether it be blending in, makeup, fashion, activism, whatever. None of this changes the underlying value and identity of the individual or their potential contribution to the world around them.
Quote from: Tatiana 79 on July 11, 2018, 01:02:27 PM
Hey Everyone
I have heard the term trans trendy
and certainly don't want to insult anyone if they're here because of this.
because of my couple months of being here would leave me with very little knowledge of what really goes on in the trans scene, I thought I would reach out for opinions and if anyone knew someone as such.
To me I can't even imagine someone would put themselves through this just be trendy with the times.
Do to my limited knowledge and experience I thought I would ask all of you what you thought.
Cisgender people tell us that we do it for attention. They're wrong.
If we find ourselves telling another transgender person that they're doing it for attention, we're wrong.
Choose wisely.
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: RobynD on July 23, 2018, 11:38:06 AM
I think many of us have been accused of doing this for attention by some uninformed person or another in our lives. There are a lot more simple and even more effective ways to get attention. I came out before Jenner did and I still had people say things like...."oh you mean like Caitlyn? " geez no, not really.
It is very important for me to second that, nobody needs to be meet anyone's standard of "transness", whether it be blending in, makeup, fashion, activism, whatever. None of this changes the underlying value and identity of the individual or their potential contribution to the world around them.
Totally off topic, but I love your new avatar pic. :)
Hugs, Devlyn
There is a story from France of a CIS girl who was passing herself off as transgender MTF in the belief that it would make her more attractive to other transgender girls. My understanding is that she was young, under 20, and quite a sad story in truth.