Beth mentioned this in another post, but I was wondering if any of the other ladies had/have noticed if they are being oggled and what they think of it. I mean if it is done in a flatering way.
It used to make me me nervous and I kept wondering if something was wrong, but Gillian pointed out that the guys are just doing what guys do - looking at women
Yep so it feels kinda nice... so far
i wouldnt want men or anyone in public doing it. i have quite awhile before that could happen anyway. i'm just oggleable to someone that loves me at the moment. :icon_blah:
beth
And that's the one who matters most :)
When I wear my Michigan sweatshirt or my medium black tshirts, I get stares everywhere. Men, women. It's more of a 'what is that, male, female, or both?' type look. I'm not just being paranoid, either, my best friend noticed and mentioned it to me as well.
Being oogeled is, well, normal for women to have to deal with, sadly. I tend to avoid places that are public unless I'm with a friend, so I don't know what to say for advice. ^_^
Everytime I've gone out fully dressed, which usaully consists of a short skirt, which usually touches my knees, and a nice blouse and always pantyhose in a nice color, I always seem to get oggled by guys. So I just smile sweetly at them and let it pass.
Gina
I should make the distinction that there are many subtle levels for men to react positively to me... the least offensive just admiring, and the worst what I would call oggling.
A man flirting is nice. I'm usually flattered. Looking me up & down then smiling makes me feel like I'm on display, but if he does it in a nice way I don't mind. Yes, there's a good way & a bad way.
There's what I call the "turn-around". I'm sitting on a bench, a guy is walking up behind me and he waits until he's 15 or 20 feet beyond me, then turns around and looks, as if I'm not going to notice it. But, I did the same thing as a guy, so I can't knock them for trying.
As a guy I had friends that would oggle women, some even stooping low enough to call out to them in public, or honk their car horns to women crossing the street in front of them. Now that I'm a girl, when men do it to me its just annoying as it always was, and just as degrading as I always imagined it to be. It seems to come in spurts. Some days I don't have one man even look at me. And some days I'll have a dozen different men doing everything from honking their car horns, to making kissy noises at me and talking dirty to me while I walk by. One word... disgusting! And no, when I'm oggled I'm not neccesarily dressed provocatively. Sometimes its just jeans & a t-shirt.
Every girl I've talked to about this says the same thing, "Get used to it." They all say they and their girlfreinds hate summer because it brings all the weirdos out. I suppose we could all dress like nuns, but we can't let people dictate the way we live our lives. Basically, if I decide to wear a miniskirt or a tank top or halter top, I'm prepared to be looked at, checked out, oggled, degraded, & everything else in-between.
I've only recently started living full time as my true self. I'm pretty bold and was not shy about going out and taking care of my usual business, work, shopping etc. The usual questions went through my mind the first time. Will I pass? How will people react? Yada yada yada.
I passed allright. For the most part men were courteous and respectfull, addressing me as mam, holding doors and so forth. When I first noticed men looking at me I too thought perhaps something was wrong. Then my old male self reminded me that this is what men do. Then I got a smile on my face. Not that I wasn't smiling, just more pronounced. Then I thought, ugh, as I realised what they were undoubtedly thinking. I have a very loving and supportive wife at home and she is all I need. Besides I'm not really all that attracted to men, unless were talking Kevin Sorbo, Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford or Kevin Costner. :icon_wink:
So now the shoe is on the other foot and I know how it feels. It is something I will have to get used to, as all of us girls must do. Sometimes it's nice. Sometimes it's just plain, yuck!
As far as dressing like a nun, Amy, I doubt that would help. Some men simply know no boundaries.
Cassie
Hi
I get Oggled constantly all the time here. I have no idea if it"s done in a flatering way or not. The Oggling that I get makes me nervous and self doubtful about myself.
LeslieGirl
Quote from: LeslieGirl on July 17, 2005, 08:27:07 AM
Hi
I get Oggled constantly all the time here. I have no idea if it"s done in a flatering way or not. The Oggling that I get makes me nervous and self doubtful about myself.
LeslieGirl
That's because men are attracted to good looking, tall blond women with long legs, women ogle for other reasons, some wish they had the nerve to wear hot-shorts in public, others resent the fact that they have dumpy looking frames and can't present themselves publicly as you sometimes do. It's all a part of the territory when you're a woman. If you can't take the heat you need to get out of the fire honey, or take up wearing a berka like the afghan women do. Personally, I think you're just peaches and cream girl!
Hi Maura
Thanx so much for the compliments. I do feel much better now, after the day we spent together. Your so warm and uplifting.
LeslieGirl
I can remember going through the "Oggle" stage myself last summer. I began to notice that as guys at work and even some women were looking at my bust rather then into my eyes as they had previously done at work, where they knew perfectly well my circumstances. In public away from work I have always just ignored it.
At first this rather unnerved me, as I could not understand or accept such behavior from the men, at work, many of whom had related quite well and proper to me in the past. From the women I just accepted it as when I first began noticable development many asked me how it was possible for a male to grow breasts and why it wasn't available to women who wished enhancement without surgery. They seemed to think it was some special and privialaged form of treatment that was denied to them and that it was some form of medical discrimination, so I got into a lot of discussions about the HRT phase of transition.
As to the men who consistantly looked at me below eye level, it mostly bothered me because I have always had a type of "homophobia" about that kind of thing and under the circumstances I really did not know how to respond or react to such things. It turns out that a little experience with it taught me to just be upfront about the fact that it bothered me and I considered it to be improper and they have since ceased to be so obvious about it, but they still do it while passing me in hallways with a sort of sideways glance, and I can now just write that off as a sort of natural male curiosity about my anatomy, since because of employee interaction with me while waiting for bi-lateral orchiectomy surgery in the hospital network I work in, there are many who know of that and not certain exactly what all was done or done afterwards. I can't blame people for natural curiosity.
Anyway, I have sense come to terms with it and while it can sometimes bother me some it doesn't occupy my thoughts or give me any great concern as long as they don't make issue of it or do it in such a way as to make it obvious and draw more attention to myself then is enevitably always present in my workplace.
Terri
Hi Terri
Men stare at my bust too. I know the feeling.
LeslieGirl
Hi leslie, nice to have talked to you on the phone the other night, though I'm not sure why you guys thought of calling me at that time of night while having some quiet time together. Sorry I was in such a putz mood but Have been in the middle of a couple of things lately and very down in my frame of mind and physically and mentally exausted.
Its very different for me then you though I would imagine Leslie, haveing men stare at my bust that is. From what I gather, you have little or no objection to such attention from men, but I do, so the effect is very different, or at least I would assume it to be.
men stare at my girlfriends bust. :icon_anger:
but she stares at mine ;D
beth
Hi Terri
I feel the same way, it was nice to talk to you on the phone. We was thinking about you and decided to call. I"m sorry that you were down that night, I hope things are better for you.
LeslieGirl
No Leslie, not better, worse, but dealing with it ok?. Really though, I hadn't talked to Maura for it seems forever, it was really a surprise when she called. Sounded like she is perhaps getting some things straight with herself. Anyway, was good to talk to you, I needed a little distraction, and a new person is always a good one.
And I like that midwest accent with a Georgia type flavor. I guess Wyoming will do that to ya.
Terri
Like Sarra, I get the "what is that, man, woman, what the..." comments on a fairly regular basis, due to two factors: I have a balance problem which affects how I walk and I have fairly dark hair, which leaves a prominent shadow on my face. I wish that I could afford electrolysis. *Sigh*
Yet I can remember qutie a few times where I would get whistles, cat calls and requests to join groups of people, who were partying, to have a good time with them. I would usually just keep going, maybe adding a little more swing to my hips, just to keep them happy while I was walking away.
Tiffani
Depending on the guy, it can be anything from creepy to rather pleasant.