So I work in construction and people are starting to notice some changes but so far nobody has directly said anything negative to me about my appearance; as I now am 50pnds lighter, shave everyday, wear earrings, and have grown my hair out. But today I ran into a truck driver who frequently drops material off at our shop and he called me Caitlyn. I played it off like no biggie but I felt embarrassed. Honestly I don't know why although Caitlyn Jenner doesn't necessarily reflect my opinions on everything I have to say she has made an impact on trans awareness. What do you all think? Insult? Or Compliment?
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Yes. I have been called that a while back. Since it was a friend I took it as neither insult nor compliment but rather just normal banter or perhaps fishing for an explanation.
Conform and be dull. —James Frank Dobie, The Voice of the Coyote
Welcome to Susan's Place, Stephrett! There's every likelihood that Caitlyn has been, is currently, or will be a member of this site. I wonder how she'd reply here?
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on July 27, 2017, 11:09:25 AM
Welcome to Susan's Place, Stephrett! There's every likelihood that Caitlyn has been, is currently, or will be a member of this site. I wonder how she'd reply here?
Hugs, Devlyn
Very true, I hadn't thought of that....although re-reading what I posted I can see how it could be taken as negative however I surely didn't mean anything by it. So Caitlyn if you're reading this no offense. But in the real world people would and will use that to make a slight against somebody who looks feminine or different. I suppose what I'm looking for is how the ladies here handle such comments because let's face it we are a target for heckling and teasing. Maybe I'll just delete this post[emoji17]
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Let me rephrase the question how do you ladies handle the heckling and teasing you get from family friends and co-workers?
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I just think we need to be really careful. If someone said "My friend called me Devlyn Marie, should I be insulted?" I would be pissed. Pissed at that person for not realizing immediately that they were indeed being insulted. :laugh: >:-)
Quote from: stephrett1 on July 27, 2017, 11:26:08 AM
Let me rephrase the question how do you ladies handle the heckling and teasing you get from family friends and co-workers?
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You build up callous. 99% of the people I run into treat me fine. Occasionally there's snickering and intentional misgendering. More callous. It really doesn't matter what others think. Learning that is the key, and you aren't free until you have that key.
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: stephrett1 on July 27, 2017, 11:26:08 AM
Let me rephrase the question how do you ladies handle the heckling and teasing you get from family friends and co-workers?
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It doesn't happen to me much anymore. But when it does I simply turn it around on them. For example, when someone said you look like a girl I would reply "Are you asking me out for a drink?" Or if someone asked if I was wearing women's underwear I would reply, "Why, do you want to see?" If someone asked if I was getting a sex change I would reply with a big smile, "Maybe I am." The one thing I never did was deny anything.
With replies such as these you disarm their attack and render it powerless. If you reply with nervousness or defensiveness the you're just asking for more.
Anyway, eventually people got tired of asking me what's going on or trying to needle me about it all.
Conform and be dull. —James Frank Dobie, The Voice of the Coyote
Nobody has ever called me Caitlyn Jenner, but if someone were to do that I would be honored.
We are the same gender. And we were both in Montréal - I was a 12 year old spectator. I have a photo in my Montréal 1976 t-shirt watching one of the events, I still have that t-shirt and it fits fine today (I was a bit overweight back then).
But we are different people. I have never broken world records or earned an Olympic gold medal. I heard Caitlyn speak and briefly met her - she gives an athletic hug! The company I work for flew her in to talk about the motivations for what turned out to be her greatest challenge. Her explanation surprised me - gender dysphoria influenced her athletic achievements in the 1970s. Hearing her directly explain it makes sense.
Kendra
No one has ever called me that. People usually call me different alien characters rather than normal people. I don't know if that would be an insult or not. If you just take it at face value it's not really a mean thing to say. Caitlyn Jenner does look good now. I don't get heckling or teasing from anyone. My coworkers totally don't care that I'm trans, my family would never do that and I dumped the friends I had who did.
Julia
I just bristle at anyone calling me anything but my name, whether they are trying to be "cute" or not. Ok from Girlfriends, boyfriend, etc endearing thing like honey, sweetie, etc are ok too :)
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on July 27, 2017, 11:30:15 AM
I just think we need to be really careful. If someone said "My friend called me Devlyn Marie, should I be insulted?" I would be pissed. Pissed at that person for not realizing immediately that they were indeed being insulted. :laugh: >:-)
You build up callous. 99% of the people I run into treat me fine. Occasionally there's snickering and intentional misgendering. More callous. It really doesn't matter what others think. Learning that is the key, and you aren't free until you have that key.
Hugs, Devlyn
[emoji23]I like your sense of humor, I think I take myself too seriously.
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A lot of good feedback, thanks ladies. I have to admit most of the time I take myself too seriously. My biggest issue is I tried to come out when I was younger and I was severely teased and ridiculed. I think it's a matter of building up that mental shield against the negativity.
I want to say again I meant no offense to Caitlyn Jenner. I must admit that her coming out made me think "Hmmm maybe I could do this too"
And when people I'm friends with on Facebook berated her it made me angry because I could relate so well. Thanks again for the feedback![emoji4]
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I think it might be amusing to respond to such a question with "Why? Want to check out the underside of my car?" But then, some might take it as a threat.
My sister is a manly Dyke. Sometimes I call her "Pat". ;D
For the most part with humor. There are just way too many funny moments in transition where I even have to laugh about myself and some of the struggles.
Coworkers have actually been great, no complains here. The occasional slip to my old name...
Family is a bit mixed but I do give them a lot of credit, it is a lot to take in.
My Dad on two occasions made some remarks which are pretty inappropriate - not about being trans, about women in general: comments about my breast size... while it is inappropriate to say this to any women, somehow I was also proud... he does seem to see me as women.
Same for my brother. In the end it is their way of processing what is going on.
My sister's only complaint was that I decided so late, she always wanted a sister to swap clothes...
There have been very few incidents where I was bothered by being miss gendered or by a different my remark. In most cases, i just try to smile and brush it off.
Look at all you have accomplished for your own happiness. Think how you would have reacted before you figured out you are trans. And add a portion of humor to your life. I hope you have experienced a lot of support and encouragement as well. That usually makes up for everything.
Hugs Sarah
Quote from: stephrett1 on July 27, 2017, 11:26:08 AM
Let me rephrase the question how do you ladies handle the heckling and teasing you get from family friends and co-workers?
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Oh - what I wanted to add: while I have never been called Caitlyn, I have been compared to her: so is this like Caitlyn Jenner. Just helps people understand whether I like it or not...
When I was coming out, two people made a Caitlin Jenner reference in a jesting kind of way. It upset me, not because it associated me with her, but because people were trying to reach for that easy, dumb joke. It was meant to break the tension and wasn't meant to be mean, but really, make a joke about it. I can laugh at myself but until recently the only reference to trans folk in media was as the punchline to a joke. Give us a little respect for a while then maybe we can touch on a joke or two (not involving her specifically). I have actually seen a silver lining in this Trump tweet about trans military service. Look at the coverage of this. There is outrage now. Mostly I have seen respectful coverage of how unfair it is. I didn't hear the first joke or disrespectful comment. Agree with Caitlyn or not, she had a big part of moving the conversation about us.
Moni
Oh I have been lucky so far not to have caught much negative reactions out in public.
I wish! I wish I was pretty enough to be mistaken for her!
On another note, I did have a thing for Bruce back in his Olympic days...