Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: PurpleWolf on December 12, 2017, 12:17:38 PM

Title: Do you ever imagine to have an invisible dick, ;)?
Post by: PurpleWolf on December 12, 2017, 12:17:38 PM

Do you guys ever imagine that you have a dick in your mind? I'm sure you do - but I mean concretely: Like you actually had one? And I mean specifically imagining. Not just thinking your junk is that (or by packing). But actually imagining?

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I do a lot. Maybe daily even. I think things like what I'd do with it... or how I'd grab it... things like that! And while fapping I of course imagine I'm stroking a dick etc. I mentally disassociate myself from my f*male parts - I do not like to think of my junk that way. It's just what I happen to have... But I have this 'mental image' that I'm a guy down there too. That's why I don't have that much of a bottom dysphoria... But it does cause me that if I even for a second think: uh oh... I have f*male parts... So I dont! (Then I get that neutered feeling for sure.)
Title: Re: Do you ever imagine to have an invisible dick, ;)?
Post by: meatwagon on December 13, 2017, 01:55:58 PM
i do at least enough to have a vague idea of what mine "should" look like, if it were to exist.  nothing too detailed, just "it shouldn't be too big", "it should be uncut", etc.  that might be part of why i haven't gotten a packer yet..  if i'm gonna have one, i want it to feel like it's mine.  i don't like the thought of having to switch between different ones for different uses, and it's also hard to find a decent one that isn't "cut".  :s
Title: Re: Do you ever imagine to have an invisible dick, ;)?
Post by: Corax on December 13, 2017, 04:03:41 PM
The map my brain has of my body includes a penis and doesn't include the parts that are currently on that body. That leads to me having experiences comparable to phantom body parts and it is awkward and frustrating as hell because even though my brain has it on the map it is of course not there, I don't have what I should have.

So it's not me consciously visualising or imagining a penis, my brain does that automatically all the time and not having one is a punch in the face every time I have to see those gross body parts this body actually still has and I have to realising the lack of a penis yet again.
Title: Re: Do you ever imagine to have an invisible dick, ;)?
Post by: Elis on December 14, 2017, 02:38:51 AM
Interesting reading this post; honestly hasn't occurred to me to imagine myself with one. I imagined a few times recently me getting first stage meta done and then imagining myself with a conventional penis wondering if ultimately phallo would be the better procedure for me. But I just can't imagine myself with one. It feels foreign and strange. It makes me happy thinking of having one but can't imagine me having it 24/7. Which probably sounds confusing and confuses me too
Title: Re: Do you ever imagine to have an invisible dick, ;)?
Post by: Kylo on December 14, 2017, 02:55:06 AM
I don't bother visualizing it but I can "feel" it in the same way I can feel not having a chest if I concentrate. It's like a default state in the brain or something. Not sure how to describe.
Title: Re: Do you ever imagine to have an invisible dick, ;)?
Post by: Pao on December 14, 2017, 06:47:33 AM
Totally!
Title: Re: Do you ever imagine to have an invisible dick, ;)?
Post by: PurpleWolf on December 14, 2017, 09:41:20 AM
Quote from: Viktor on December 14, 2017, 02:55:06 AM
I don't bother visualizing it but I can "feel" it in the same way I can feel not having a chest if I concentrate. It's like a default state in the brain or something. Not sure how to describe.

This  ;D!!!
Title: Re: Do you ever imagine to have an invisible dick, ;)?
Post by: PurpleWolf on December 14, 2017, 09:46:11 AM
Quote from: Elis on December 14, 2017, 02:38:51 AM
Interesting reading this post; honestly hasn't occurred to me to imagine myself with one. I imagined a few times recently me getting first stage meta done and then imagining myself with a conventional penis wondering if ultimately phallo would be the better procedure for me. But I just can't imagine myself with one. It feels foreign and strange. It makes me happy thinking of having one but can't imagine me having it 24/7. Which probably sounds confusing and confuses me too
I don't find that confusing at all! Besides, you are nb after all, dude  ;). (I'll keep calling you that until you answer that question  :D! No harm meant by that.)
Title: Re: Do you ever imagine to have an invisible dick, ;)?
Post by: WolfNightV4X1 on December 15, 2017, 12:50:26 PM
Sometimes vaguely? Like I dont imagine having an invisible one just what it would look like to have an average one if I visualized myself. But mainly I just feel that the clit is synonymous to what the penis would be and it's developed incorrectly.
Title: Re: Do you ever imagine to have an invisible dick, ;)?
Post by: Julia1996 on December 15, 2017, 01:28:23 PM
No but I wish it was invisible.
Title: Re: Do you ever imagine to have an invisible dick, ;)?
Post by: Kylo on December 16, 2017, 12:26:12 AM
I forgot to mention I have dreams where it is there.
Title: Re: Do you ever imagine to have an invisible dick, ;)?
Post by: Jailyn on December 16, 2017, 01:03:47 AM
Okay wolf I always like turning your posts back on you a little. You could go the MTF way as well with this. Do you imagine having an invisible vagina? I will yes I have. There isn't a day that doesn't go by that I don't imagine this when I put of my panties and I have make sure they straddle a part down there, that I don't like. So it could be like almost phantom limb type thing almost except you never owned that limb. I think we could all say we imagine the other part.
Title: Re: Do you ever imagine to have an invisible dick, ;)?
Post by: invisiblemonsters on December 20, 2017, 07:59:06 PM
Quote from: meatwagon on December 13, 2017, 01:55:58 PM
i do at least enough to have a vague idea of what mine "should" look like, if it were to exist.  nothing too detailed, just "it shouldn't be too big", "it should be uncut", etc.  that might be part of why i haven't gotten a packer yet..  if i'm gonna have one, i want it to feel like it's mine.  i don't like the thought of having to switch between different ones for different uses, and it's also hard to find a decent one that isn't "cut".  :s

the pierre is an uncut packer and peecock gen3s has an uncut packer (3-in-1 so you don't have to switch between different ones for different uses). chase ross on youtube has done reviews on them if you want to check that out.
Title: Re: Do you ever imagine to have an invisible dick, ;)?
Post by: BT04 on December 21, 2017, 11:31:53 AM
I'm imagining it a lot more these days. The me of 3 months ago would be horrified, but now it seems like "well duh, of course you are".

The real interesting thing is that, while my libido has been on the higher side since rediscovering my masculinity and doing the whole questioning song and dance again, I haven't once had the inclination to use my, shall we say, OEM equipment, to relieve any tension. I don't hate my body, but I guess "forgetting" about it like this is how I tend to experience dysphoria these days.

Can't wait to get my tax return so I can afford a feeldoe...!