I am having huge problems handling being a transsexual, how do you all deal with it?
How do I manage having a brain/body mismatch?
Do I have a female brain? I dunno, I might do but I need help! How do you all handle being mtfs?
I am finding my trans status UBER hard to deal with!!
Hey Fresh Guy,
You certainly are reaching out with multiple posts about coping with where you are at. We all benefit from a helping hand and I was one who initially needed lots of hand holding.
I trust you can also take a deep breath and remember that we do better with one issue and one day at a time.
It is unlikely that you will find all the answers before feeling compelled to take a deeper look at yourself or take action. Allow yourself all the time you need.
Roll this out at your own pace and recognize questions may remain while your very unique set of life circumstances, strengths and weakness will be challenged.
Quote from: Tessa James on September 16, 2013, 05:11:00 PM
Hey Fresh Guy,
You certainly are reaching out with multiple posts about coping with where you are at. We all benefit from a helping hand and I was one who initially needed lots of hand holding.
I trust you can also take a deep breath and remember that we do better with one issue and one day at a time.
It is unlikely that you will find all the answers before feeling compelled to take a deeper look at yourself or take action. Allow yourself all the time you need.
Roll this out at your own pace and recognize questions may remain while your very unique set of life circumstances, strengths and weakness will be challenged.
aww thanks Tessa, I wish you could hug me and make all this pain go away!
I need help :'( :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed:
Many of us start with talking things over with a therapist that has experience in gender issues.
Quote from: butterface on September 16, 2013, 05:13:07 PM
Many of us start with talking things over with a therapist that has experience in gender issues.
that just seems so scary, I don't think I could manage that just yet.
normal counselling is hard enough
Quote from: FreshGuy on September 16, 2013, 05:12:48 PM
aww thanks Tessa, I wish you could hug me and make all this pain go away!
I need help :'( :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed:
The best I can offer you today is a virtual hug. I had a career in anesthesia and the only way I could take
all your pain away would be to render you unconscious ;) ??? How long do you want to be asleep? ???
Oh and please do recall how badly that worked for Michael Jackson....
As scary as it sounds, It would be best to speak with a therapist. But i think of it as a simple birth defect.
Its not easy hunn.. I take it 1 day at a time. Part of being trans is the image you represent, you represent an individual who is different and not normal like everybody else and that is ok!!! that's the first part is admitting to yourself its ok! before I came out full time and I before hormones I took whatever clothes I had a whatever make up I had did my best to look good and went to Wal-Mart the mall places where I new ignorant people and I walked around I heard many rude things people laughing at me kids asking if I was a boy or a girl you name it I did this a lot and every time I got used to I started to build a wall against it and I learned more about what it takes to express yourself as a girl by watching cis girls, the walk the, the playing with hair when nervous or shy, the way their voice changes when there happy, the way they stand when there not moving I adopted these traits the best I could and that was several years ago, its been about 2 years that I've been out full time and I've been on hrt ever since. Being on hrt makes things a lot easier and you feel more at the average girls level. now when I'm waiting in line or talking to someone I don't even notice how feminine I act it gets like permanently in your personality and eventually you don't even have to worry so much even walking like a girl I don't even remember how to walk like a guy! haha so to answer your question just take it 1 day at a time learn what you can make lots of girl friends as there there to help and support your feminization. good luck hun.
Quote from: PrincessPatience on September 16, 2013, 05:23:08 PM
As scary as it sounds, It would be best to speak with a therapist. But i think of it as a simple birth defect.
This.
I get up every day and just live my life. Being trans doesn't even really enter my mind..
I didn't deal with it till about a month ago because I didn't want to accept it, I am learning to deal with it, it is hard because I flip flop back and forth. I've found talking with other transgender people has helped and I "feel" like I am slowly moving towards coming out so I can go to a therapist and maybe figure out more.
Honestly my flip flopping back and forth is what I think has prevented me from coming out... waa hehe.
Quote from: Kelly the Post-Trans-Rebel on September 16, 2013, 06:51:16 PM
I get up every day and just live my life. Being trans doesn't even really enter my mind..
Wow, you're so lucky! Transsexuality is constantly on my mind. My trans truth is always there
Quote from: FreshGuy on September 16, 2013, 08:01:52 PM
Wow, you're so lucky! Transsexuality is constantly on my mind. My trans truth is always there
FreshGuy if you're really serious about getting help from a forum and not going for therapy you're going to have to at least open up a little more instead of just repeating the same thing over and over and over again. Also, the large bold font and constantly typing ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and other forms of screaming aren't really helping. Everyone here already understands what you have stated, repeating it over and over again is just making people take you less seriously. From the information you have given us, the only thing people can say is go to therapy. Perhaps if you try to answer some people's questions without freaking out and restating what you already have said you might get somewhere. Just my two cents, do with it what you want.
Quote from: This is the displayed name that people will see. on September 16, 2013, 08:10:55 PM
FreshGuy if you're really serious about getting help from a forum and not going for therapy you're going to have to at least open up a little more instead of just repeating the same thing over and over and over again. Also, the large bold font and constantly typing ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and other forms of screaming aren't really helping. Everyone here already understands what you have stated, repeating it over and over again is just making people take you less seriously. From the information you have given us, the only thing people can say is go to therapy. Perhaps if you try to answer some people's questions without freaking out and restating what you already have said you might get somewhere. Just my two cents, do with it what you want.
Okay thank you This is the displayed name that people will see
I am just findign ti really hard accepting my transsexuality. I am trying to be as open and honest as I can. I am hoenstly not ready to go to therapy about this so online is my only avenue. I find it hard not to type "aaaah" and use bold cos
I AM HAVING A CRISIS I NEED HELP I NEED
HELP HANDLING MY TRANSSEXUALITY!!!
CAN ANYBODY HELP ME??? PLEASEONE OF YOU MUST BE ABLE TO HELP ME!!
I was born a woman. When my bell went off I did not waste time being a transsexual. I did everything I could to become the woman I knew I was. Simple as that.
Quote from: FreshGuy on September 16, 2013, 08:14:19 PM
Okay thank you This is the displayed name that people will see
I am just findign ti really hard accepting my transsexuality. I am trying to be as open and honest as I can. I am hoenstly not ready to go to therapy about this so online is my only avenue. I find it hard not to type "aaaah" and use bold cos I AM HAVING A CRISIS I NEED HELP I NEED HELP HANDLING MY TRANSSEXUALITY!!!
CAN ANYBODY HELP ME??? PLEASE
ONE OF YOU MUST BE ABLE TO HELP ME!!
I'll try this one more time despite the fact that I doubt it will have any effect. Take my advice and I guarantee you will get more help than you have been getting thus far. Don't take my advice and all of your threads will end up going in the same exact circular pattern and it may even end up being labeled as spam (as it already has by an administrator of the site). If that is your goal, to see how long you can go before everyone gets fed up, you're well on your way.
Hi Freshguy, Being trans is as hard as you make it out to be. You can try to run and hide from it or you can confront your fears head on. The best advice I can give you is to find someone to talk about it with. As scary as that sounds it will get easier to talk about the more you do it. Find a good therapist who specializes in trans care. At first you don't have to go into great depth. Go at a speed that you feel comfortable with. Get to know your therapist and let them get to know you. Build up a rapport with him/her.
If you don't want to do that just yet talk with a friend or family member that you trust.
I am at the point where I am very comfortable being me; after years of being in a very similar spot as yourself.
Remember that every journey starts with a single step and its that one step that is the most difficult.
Quote from: Katie on September 16, 2013, 08:15:47 PM
I was born a woman. When my bell went off I did not waste time being a transsexual. I did everything I could to become the woman I knew I was. Simple as that.
I see myself as a transsexual/mtf more than I see myself as a woman.
Quote from: This is the displayed name that people will see. on September 16, 2013, 08:18:01 PM
I'll try this one more time despite the fact that I doubt it will have any effect. Take my advice and I guarantee you will get more help than you have been getting thus far. Don't take my advice and all of your threads will end up going in the same exact circular pattern and it may even end up being labeled as spam (as it already has by an administrator of the site). If that is your goal, to see how long you can go before everyone gets fed up, you're well on your way.
Yeah one of my threads randomly disappeared, I dunno what happened to it. I am going through a crisis,
I NEED HELP!!!!!I am in no way shape or form ready to go to my doctor and talk about this. Sorry I am not...
Quote from: FreshGuy on September 16, 2013, 08:20:26 PM
Yeah one of my threads randomly disappeared, I dunno what happened to it. I am going through a crisis, I NEED HELP!!!!!
I am in no way shape or form ready to go to my doctor and talk about this. Sorry I am not...
Good luck.
Quote from: Bethany Dawn on September 16, 2013, 08:18:47 PM
Hi Freshguy, Being trans is as hard as you make it out to be. You can try to run and hide from it or you can confront your fears head on. The best advice I can give you is to find someone to talk about it with. As scary as that sounds it will get easier to talk about the more you do it. Find a good therapist who specializes in trans care. At first you don't have to go into great depth. Go at a speed that you feel comfortable with. Get to know your therapist and let them get to know you. Build up a rapport with him/her.
If you don't want to do that just yet talk with a friend or family member that you trust.
I am at the point where I am very comfortable being me; after years of being in a very similar spot as yourself.
Remember that every journey starts with a single step and its that one step that is the most difficult.
Hmm I am not exaclty running from it I am saying I am a transsexual so I would say that is pretty much head on, I am just not ready for the doctor step. People say that gender therapists are just gatekeepers anyway
I tried calling helplines but I've not been able to talk (and no one ever answers anyway)
it is just so ahrd, i need help
I have no freinds or family i can discuss this with
it is tearing me apart,
i neeeeeeeeeeeddddddd helppppppppppppppp
can anybody help meee?
Quote from: FreshGuy on September 16, 2013, 08:20:26 PM
Yeah one of my threads randomly disappeared, I dunno what happened to it. I am going through a crisis, I NEED HELP!!!!!
I am in no way shape or form ready to go to my doctor and talk about this. Sorry I am not...
How do yo expect us to help you? Just because we lived through a simular situation as you, we can only tell you what got us through it. Try to tell us exactly what is going on instead of posting in all caps that you need help. You asked how did we deal with it and we told you.
I was in a bad way in December. I meet with a Social Worker who referred me to a Therapist. She is my support person. You need a support person.
Quote from: Bethany Dawn on September 16, 2013, 08:27:57 PM
How do yo expect us to help you? Just because we lived through a simular situation as you, we can only tell you what got us through it. Try to tell us exactly what is going on instead of posting in all caps that you need help. You asked how did we deal with it and we told you.
That is exactly how I expect you to help me, surely other trans people know best.
What is going on is I am a transsexual and I can't handle it, it is tearing me apart. I need help can anybody help me please i need help i really need help i want somebody to help
I can't handle my trans truth!
Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on September 16, 2013, 08:34:55 PM
I was in a bad way in December. I meet with a Social Worker who referred me to a Therapist. She is my support person. You need a support person.
I do need a support person, I need one badly.
Quote from: Miss Bungle on September 16, 2013, 09:37:22 PM
99% of the time I am the same way. But there is that friggin 1% that I can't seem to eliminate completely. It only pops up at rare times but when it does it really sucks because it lasts for hours and then it goes away. It only seems to happen a handful of random times throughout the year.
I'm not going to claim that my life is 100% free of such thoughts, but they are rare..
Sorry folks FreshGuy got booted from chat for the next week so he's your problem now :P
Actually, you know what, FreshGuy, I'm going to make a statement that will likely get me in trouble, but it needs to be said..
Based on the details you have provided, I don't think you are trans at all, not even in the slightest.. I do think you need to speak to a mental health professional.
You claim not to have dysphoria, you claim to now want to be a woman - how do you get that you are trans from that?
Seriously, get some help and stop posting the same thing here over and over again, it's not helping you and it's not helping any one else.
Quote from: Kelly the Post-Trans-Rebel on September 16, 2013, 09:55:24 PM
Actually, you know what, FreshGuy, I'm going to make a statement that will likely get me in trouble, but it needs to be said..
Based on the details you have provided, I don't think you are trans at all, not even in the slightest.. I do think you need to speak to a mental health professional.
You claim not to have dysphoria, you claim to now want to be a woman - how do you get that you are trans from that?
Seriously, get some help and stop posting the same thing here over and over again, it's not helping you and it's not helping any one else.
Well I don't know how to get help. For every person that says I am trans, another person says I am denial. And for every person that says I am in denial someone else says that I am not trans. The only person that can truly know is me and I don't know. Maybe I should just transition and see what happens, it will avoid this whole not knowing thing.
I dunno how to get the help I need. I have been trying for a year lol
NHS therapists have said to my face they cant help me but she was a rotten bitch anyway
counsellors just bounce me between services, i am sick of being boucned between services it is effing demeaning, i have had a rotten year in some ways, transsexualism ruined my last year of uni which should have been one of the best years of my life
I jsut don't know what to do ugh
Do you know anything about mason jars, FreshGuy?
Until you are ready to go to a doctor, a professional gender therapist, FreshGuy, you're going to be stuck. Continually asking for help is going to get you nowhere because you are looking for someone else to take care of this for you. Well, it ain't gonna happen. This is something you're going to have to do by yourself. You've been given good advice here, and in the chat rooms as well, but you keep rejecting it because, I suspect, you are afraid or unwilling to do your own work.
The ball is in YOUR court now, FreshGuy. We can't do any more for you than what has already been done. The next step is yours alone.
Quote from: This is the displayed name that people will see. on September 16, 2013, 10:22:52 PM
Do you know anything about mason jars, FreshGuy?
Alice, are you changing your name to "This is the displayed name that people will see" because that's how it's showing up right now?
Very curious where you're going with mason jars.
Quote from: Marissa on September 16, 2013, 11:04:48 PM
Alice, are you changing your name to "This is the displayed name that people will see" because that's how it's showing up right now?
Very curious where you're going with mason jars.
Yes I did the name change on purpose.
Quote from: This is the displayed name that people will see. on September 16, 2013, 11:07:54 PM
Yes I did the name change on purpose.
I am not catching up on this... Can someone enlighten me please? :)
Quote from: -Emily- on September 17, 2013, 02:12:03 AM
I am not catching up on this... Can someone enlighten me please? :)
Its probably simpler than it seems. I changed my display name
And what is the relation with mason jars?
Something about FreshGuy gave me the impression he would be into mason jars.
Quote from: FreshGuy on September 16, 2013, 08:23:03 PM
Hmm I am not exaclty running from it I am saying I am a transsexual so I would say that is pretty much head on, I am just not ready for the doctor step. People say that gender therapists are just gatekeepers anyway
I tried calling helplines but I've not been able to talk (and no one ever answers anyway)
it is just so hard, i need help
I have no friends or family i can discuss this with
it is tearing me apart, i neeeeeeeeeeeddddddd helppppppppppppppp
can anybody help meee?
#1 You are limited to 14-point type
#2 Stop the trollish behavior.
Quote from: Emelye on September 16, 2013, 10:58:56 PM
Until you are ready to go to a doctor, a professional gender therapist, FreshGuy, you're going to be stuck. Continually asking for help is going to get you nowhere because you are looking for someone else to take care of this for you. Well, it ain't gonna happen. This is something you're going to have to do by yourself. You've been given good advice here, and in the chat rooms as well, but you keep rejecting it because, I suspect, you are afraid or unwilling to do your own work.
The ball is in YOUR court now, FreshGuy. We can't do any more for you than what has already been done. The next step is yours alone.
Well tbh I don't feel like I have been helped much. Saying "go to a doctor" isn't exactly helping me handle my trans truth.
Quote from: This is the displayed name that people will see. on September 17, 2013, 02:42:17 AM
Something about FreshGuy gave me the impression he would be into mason jars.
Umm no, why would I be into mason jars?
Quote from: FreshGuy on September 17, 2013, 09:11:57 AM
Umm no, why would I be into mason jars?
it should be quite a big mason jar then...
And what exactly is trans truth?
Quote from: This is the displayed name that people will see. on September 17, 2013, 09:10:54 AM
Do you find it funny?
No, I thought you were tryna say I need to keep a lid on my behaviour or something.
Quote from: FreshGuy on September 17, 2013, 09:11:57 AM
Umm no, why would I be into mason jars?
I'm not sure. It would say a lot about your trans truth if you were.
Quote from: -Emily- on September 17, 2013, 09:13:17 AM
it should be quite a big mason jar then...
And what exactly is trans truth?
Can you just tell me how to handle my trans truth instead of all this jam jar chat
Quote from: This is the displayed name that people will see. on September 17, 2013, 09:14:18 AM
I'm not sure. It would say a lot about your trans truth if you were.
In what way? Are you trolling me?
Quote from: FreshGuy on September 17, 2013, 09:14:58 AM
In what way? Are you trolling me?
Its irrelevant if you're not into mason jars. How was your childhood?
Quote from: This is the displayed name that people will see. on September 17, 2013, 09:16:26 AM
Its irrelevant if you're not into mason jars. How was your childhood?
Not great, I was bullied lots.
I played with babrbies and polly pockets a few times but I didn't exhibit much trans behaviour when I was a kid. My mum did say my favourite colour was pink when I was like 4 but I don't remember and my earliest memory is of me playing trucks with my dad.
My transsexualism was triggered in my adult life though so I didn't have the wish to be a woman throughout my childhood. I found out I was a transsexual last year after a cross dressing experience where I wore a sporty spice costume.
Now my world is being rocked back and forth up and down and side to side
Quote from: FreshGuy on September 17, 2013, 09:24:51 AM
Not great, I was bullied lots.
I played with babrbies and polly pockets a few times but I didn't exhibit much trans behaviour when I was a kid. My mum did say my favourite colour was pink when I was like 4 but I don't remember and my earliest memory is of me playing trucks with my dad.
My transsexualism was triggered in my adult life though so I didn't have the wish to be a woman throughout my childhood. I found out I was a transsexual last year after a cross dressing experience where I wore a sporty spice costume.
Now my world is being rocked back and forth up and down and side to side
Have you had any long term relationships?
Perhaps we could try from this angle as well...
What makes you feel you are not ready to talk to a therapist about your issues? Is it explaining why you are seeing someone to family? Is it that you do not feel you have the resources to go about finding one? Would you be willing to participate in a support group in your area?
In general what everyone here is telling you is that you need to find someone who you can talk to locally, face to face about your issues. The best we can do from a forum is provide you with resources on helping yourself, and aiding with courage in seeking out help.
Quote from: FreshGuy on September 17, 2013, 09:13:05 AM
I NEED HELP HANDLING MY TRANS TRUTH!
IT IS ROCKING MY WORLD!!
I'm also going to be controversial! FreshGuy...are you cross posting from r/transgendercirclejerk? Either you're a pretty silly troll, or your beliefs in transsexuality stem from satire. The bold and caps lock makes me believe the former.
In case you are being serious...uhhh...it doesn't "rock my world" in any way. I live life. I go to college. The only difference from anyone else is that I take pills twice a day. It's pretty simple, really.
I think you are more Transphobia, hypercondriac coupled with OCD...
Everyone just look back at the older posts made.
Anything said is just a waste of time. If no one is willing to seek professional help then there is nothing a open public forum can do to help..
KIa Ora,
Re: How Do You Handle Being A Transsexual?
It's like the weather, you have no choice but to go with the flow...
Metta Zenda :)
Quote from: Murbella on September 17, 2013, 01:16:50 PM
Perhaps we could try from this angle as well...
What makes you feel you are not ready to talk to a therapist about your issues? Is it explaining why you are seeing someone to family? Is it that you do not feel you have the resources to go about finding one? Would you be willing to participate in a support group in your area?
In general what everyone here is telling you is that you need to find someone who you can talk to locally, face to face about your issues. The best we can do from a forum is provide you with resources on helping yourself, and aiding with courage in seeking out help.
thanks I don't feel emotionally able to discuss it with a therapist but I have been in touch with a local support group.
Quote from: Horizon on September 17, 2013, 01:42:49 PM
I'm also going to be controversial! FreshGuy...are you cross posting from r/transgendercirclejerk? Either you're a pretty silly troll, or your beliefs in transsexuality stem from satire. The bold and caps lock makes me believe the former.
In case you are being serious...uhhh...it doesn't "rock my world" in any way. I live life. I go to college. The only difference from anyone else is that I take pills twice a day. It's pretty simple, really.
Well you're lucky, for me it is hard to handle.
Quote from: mind is quiet now on September 17, 2013, 02:26:04 PM
I think you are more Transphobia, hypercondriac coupled with OCD...
Everyone just look back at the older posts made.
Anything said is just a waste of time. If no one is willing to seek professional help then there is nothing a open public forum can do to help..
That is a possiblity but it doesn't explain everything. OCD could be a misdiagnosis. People get misdiagnosed all the time.
Quote from: FreshGuy on September 17, 2013, 05:19:02 PM
Does 6 months count?
ehhhh it depends on how intense the relationship was. Was it with a girl or a boy?
Quote from: This is the displayed name that people will see. on September 17, 2013, 05:21:19 PM
ehhhh it depends on how intense the relationship was. Was it with a girl or a boy?
A girl, how is this relevant to my transsexuality? lol
Freshguy, you wrote this in February of this year:
Quote from: FreshGuy on February 10, 2013, 10:32:35 AM
Hey guys, first of all sorry if this is in the wrong section but I didn't know where to post it:
Hey guys,
I am really worried I am transexual but I wish I could just stay as a man (I was born male)
I've been worried about being a transexual since April last year (so I am only one year away from being diagnosed with gender identity disorder )
I just wish there was another route.
I'm really scared to tell anybody I know that I might be transgender.
When I think about being a transexual I get pain in my chest (i.e. it feels tight) and I worry about being a transexual most of the time. Sometimes I go an hour or two without worrying then I feel really happy then I remember about the trans worries and I start worrying again.
My local LGBT society done a drag day yesterday and I dressed up as a girl, when I was dressed as a girl I didn't feel particularly gender euphoric or anything. Although I think that it will be easier to flirt with boys dressed as a girl (but I've not tried this)
I'm quite a shy person and at the end of the day one of the people giving the drag workshop said that they had seen shy people like me before and I should do what makes me happy (e.g. wearing dresses) but I don't know if I want to dress as a female or not.
After the drag workshop we all went to a bar where a drag act was performed and we were gonna dress in drag again but in the end we didn't. When we first got there I didn't want to dress in drag, then I wanted to then I decided I didn't again lol BUT I don't know if going in drags makes me a transexual anyway but it could be an indicator
I don't want to be a transexual but I am worried that I am one and it seems like I wait forever to be seen by services that can help.
Worrying I am a trans makes me really scared and unhappy and I am worried that I will lose my sex drive and I am worried that my penis will stop working cos of the thoughts.
But yesterday I went clubbing and I hooked up with someone in the club (not sex, we just snogged) and I got an erection so it shows my penis is still working which is good.
I want to keep my penis but I'm worried I'm in denial
Can anyone else help? Can any transexuals relate to what I am saying or does this not sound like I'm trans?
Uhhh, this is so tough. I was starting to worry about this situation less because I was going to get CBT to treat my OCD (my main OCD worry is about being trans but I am worried that maybe it's not OCD and I am trans, especially since they decided not to give me CBT, I think maybe it was there way of telling me that it sounds more like I am trans)
They said that they didn't specialise in obsessive thoughts, more rituals (but mine is more obsessive thoughts) and they said it would be harder to treat
Can anybody help mee?
How has anything changed?
Quote from: Audi Hose on September 17, 2013, 05:32:27 PM
Freshguy, you wrote this in February of this year:
How has anything changed?
I'm a mess, I could just be in denial about being transsexual. It is a strong possiblity, many other transsexuals have said I sound like I am in denial and I even think I am in denial myself even though I admit I am transsexual which is kind of ironic cos how can I be in denial if I admit it
Maybe I am not fully admitting it with all my heart and soul.
I just need help. Sorry I know I cannot repeat phrases so I will try to hold back from what I want to say
edit: maybe I can stay as a boy but I don't want to get my hopes up
Can you describe the help you are expecting to receive in posting here?
Quote from: FreshGuy on September 17, 2013, 05:19:37 PM
thanks I don't feel emotionally able to discuss it with a therapist but I have been in touch with a local support group.
So, expand on this... What are your fears about seeing a therapist?
Quote from: Murbella on September 17, 2013, 05:53:48 PM
Can you describe the help you are expecting to receive in posting here?
So, expand on this... What are your fears about seeing a therapist?
I don't like seeing therapists, I don't like the set-up of it and I am not emotionally able to discuss my trans troubles with a therapist.
Quote from: FreshGuy on September 17, 2013, 05:37:05 PM
I'm a mess, I could just be in denial about being transsexual. It is a strong possiblity, many other transsexuals have said I sound like I am in denial and I even think I am in denial myself even though I admit I am transsexual which is kind of ironic cos how can I be in denial if I admit it
Maybe I am not fully admitting it with all my heart and soul.
I just need help. Sorry I know I cannot repeat phrases so I will try to hold back from what I want to say
edit: maybe I can stay as a boy but I don't want to get my hopes up
Almost every single person who is a member of this website, started by asking themselves, "I wonder if I am trans*?" For some, the dysphoria was apparent when they were children. For others, the dysphoria became apparent at puberty. Still others fought feeling they did not understand until they were middle aged, or older. Many of us did not even have the trans* concept to consider.
There is no right or wrong time to deal with the feelings that something is not quite right. You are clearly upset and worried. That is natural. Because you might have other issues going on, it really would be best to talk with a therapist or psychiatrist. I believe you said you were in the UK. There must be some sort of urgent care available to you, without waiting "months and months."
You were brave enough to join up and discuss what you were feeling with us. That same bravery can be useful when discussing your issues with a therapist or doctor. There is nothing to be ashamed of.
One more thing... the "transgender umbrella" covers a broad spectrum of gender variant persons, only some of which are transsexual. Not every transgendered person transitions. Others find methods and ways to cope with whatever degree of dysphoria they experience.
Support groups are good, but talking with a professional, even your GP, may get you a referral to a specialist, to help you sort things out.
Quote from: Audi Hose on September 17, 2013, 06:02:04 PM
Almost every single person who is a member of this website, started by asking themselves, "I wonder if I am trans*?" For some, the dysphoria was apparent when they were children. For others, the dysphoria became apparent at puberty. Still others fought feeling they did not understand until they were middle aged, or older. Many of us did not even have the trans* concept to consider.
There is no right or wrong time to deal with the feelings that something is not quite right. You are clearly upset and worried. That is natural. Because you might have other issues going on, it really would be best to talk with a therapist or psychiatrist. I believe you said you were in the UK. There must be some sort of urgent care available to you, without waiting "months and months."
You were brave enough to join up and discuss what you were feeling with us. That same bravery can be useful when discussing your issues with a therapist or doctor. There is nothing to be ashamed of.
One more thing... the "transgender umbrella" covers a broad spectrum of gender variant persons, only some of which are transsexual. Not every transgendered person transitions. Others find methods and ways to cope with whatever degree of dysphoria they experience.
Support groups are good, but talking with a professional, even your GP, may get you a referral to a specialist, to help you sort things out.
Ok ty, yeah mien started with the "I wonder if I am trans*?" so I guess this means I am trans, there is no point in me dilly dallying around gender variant labels. I just need to face the fact that I am a full on mtf transsexual with all surgeries.
I guess I will have to go to a doctor
The worst thing people like us can do, is to put road blocks in our path.
Uncertainty can play mean games with our psyches. There is an old adage, that "the threat is greater than the execution." We tend to worry about what could happen, when the likely reality is much less problematic.
You may, or may not, be MtF TS. But a professional can help you sift through those issues.
Wow this topic, :-\
well I will add a few words mostly opinion but, there really isn't any certain way any of us handled it, that is everyone handled differently. sure some have similar experiences but we handled it however we could.
as for myself, I never really liked the terminology, I always seen my self as a girl, in the beginning that girl was hiding and as she kept trying to be free it became painfully obvious I could no I longer survive unless she could be free and be out, so... I started with a therapist who helped me sort out my thoughts, than I decided it didn't matter what happened it was time to just be me and well many people didn't like it, I ended up giving up it all to finally gain everything. I lost it all, family, friends, everything I owned, I went from buying and having a home to have only a few articles of clothing and living in my car but, I was finally free , and I rebuilt and over the years gained back some and finally had my gcs surgery and now have a wonderful bf , a great connection to my mom and dad, and most of all I am not trying to be something I am not. I now just have my life as just a normal girl.
OP your question is wide and open to vagueness. I feel you are trying to understand yourself but that is something only you can come to terms with and no-matter how many times you post or how much help you say you need it wont give you what you need, nobody here can tell you what you need or what you need to do so ....
if you want a place talk that's fine but there isn't a need to post-whore about the same thing ;)
read my quotes and consider there meaning and perhaps you can move forward past this wall you have erected in front of yourself
Quote from: FreshGuy on September 17, 2013, 05:20:43 PM
That is a possiblity but it doesn't explain everything. OCD could be a misdiagnosis. People get misdiagnosed all the time.
So...what you're saying is it doesn't matter whether you're "diagnosed" as being trans or not because you'll just ignore it, anyway.
I think that sums up this entire thread.
Last i am going to post in this thread, I think he is getting what he wants and is after...... Look and think about it.
Izzy
Quote from: FreshGuy on September 17, 2013, 09:10:44 AM
Well tbh I don't feel like I have been helped much. Saying "go to a doctor" isn't exactly helping me handle my trans truth.
Constantly demanding people help you and then rejecting their advice seems to me a strategy for remaining the way you are and dodging the blame for your inability to move on, FreshGuy. You need to take responsibility for this yourself. We can only do so much. The rest, and it's the biggest part of it, is up to YOU alone. We can't do it for you, we can't take the pain away. Only you have the power to fix this.
I'm pretty sure he suffers from trans-ocd, a real disorder that doesn't really have a cure and I would imagine is very difficult to live with. I don't think posts like this are very helpful to him and you may actually be hurting him for something that he cannot help. He has toned down his posts quite a bit, taking direction from moderators very well, and I don't think he deserves this kind of treatment.
Quote removed from deleted post
Personally I paint my toe nails, fingernails, shave my legs, put on some nice undies, makeup & a put on a nice dress while I wait for HRT to change & improve my body. I also love to chit chat with my gril friends on Susan's Place.
Going shopping tomorrow & I may try to find a new man soon?
I'll admit I did not read every post... I went from the first page to the last. :)
So I don't know how old you are, but you make this sound like a recent problem.
For me, it started when I was about the age were I became aware of genders. So maybe 4 or 5. And then I knew I was a girl. But my mom didn't agree. lol (I can laugh at it now...) So after letting me wear nail polish for a while, it was all over. I hated having my hair cut. I hated the clothes I wore. When I hit puberty, well that just sucked. Now I'm 55. I'm just deciding to do something about this. I was married for 9 years, and been divorced for over a year. This gave me time to be with myself and think. The divorced was not directly related to this, but this is always the underlying problem. I really wish I had done it at the very least in my 20s, but so it is. :(
How did I deal with it all these years? It wasn't easy. I just lived my life, and longed for a different one. Had several urges to commit suicide, but didn't. Had lots of anxiety and depression. And to this day I'm never really happy, unless it's related to female things. I'll buy clothes and stuff, but except on Halloween, never cross dress in public. I did dress very androgynously in high school and after, including wearing nail polish, some girl's clothes (like tops and jeans), makeup and I had long hair. That made me feel more like myself. People thought I was gay, but I like girls. :) (so I guess that makes me a lesbian after all!)
At this point in my life, and accepting that I'm going to start this journey, I can look back and see all the problems I had by not trying to do something about it, or even tell people. I had therapy for the anxiety and depression, and the one time I tried to say why, it was dismissed.
Now I have been telling a few close friends, and it feels really good. My 22 year old son lives with me, and lately I have been painting my toe nails black. lol He looked at me funny, but he knows I'm different, so he just said I look like a Goth from the 90s. lol (I have longish hair with a bright blue streak in it too). People just think I'm a musician. ;)
But I'm happy to be starting this. I never did fit in with guys. With few exceptions, my close friends were always women. When I was a teenager, the boys I knew would be playing sports, while I was making my own clothes, or playing guitar, etc.
So listen to your feelings. Find out who you really are. Some of us get stuck in the wrong bodies. These days it can be "fixed". :) Don't wait as long as I did. Talk to a therapist who specializes in gender issues. They won't laugh at you or judge you. The one I'm going to see has two grown transgendered children!