Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So I thought I'd finally get around to making a bit of a diary for myself here. I've had a bad habit of not posting much when I'm feeling down, even though I know it would help. I've been a loner for so long, it's hard to break the habit of keeping everything to myself. This first post will probably be long to catch up (sorry!).

So on that subject, about 3 weeks ago I got hit HARD by the dysphoria bus. I was just sitting at work and suddenly I was feeling miserable (I even briefly had trouble breathing!). I didn't know why, and just bottled it up for 2 days straight (causing quite a headache!). Finally I had just gotten home after work & my friends I live with (my best friend of 20 years & his wife) noticed I was looking really down. I just broke down and started crying. Once I got that out of my system, I talked to them & realized I was feeling trapped.
I live in a small Kansas (central USA, for those in other countries) town that's super conservative & religious (plus a lot of people on meth & just plain drunk all the time), and I'm pretty scared about presenting feminine here. So the only times I get to be me is at home & when I get out of town. I hadn't been out of town for several weeks, and it was really wearing on me. Even though I only started transitioning 3 months ago, and just started HRT 2 weeks before, I already feel like 'boy mode' is not me anymore. Dressing male is now crossdressing to me!
Thankfully the very next day we all went grocery shopping out of town & I got to dress appropriately. I felt SO much better after that! Now that I know I feel this way, I need to be sure I try to get out whenever I can, even if it's only for a short drive.

I've been on HRT for 6 weeks now, and I'm noticing some changes. Most obviously, breast buds started developing at about 2 weeks, and my chest has been sore since then (yay?). I even woke up in the middle of the night once when while shifting positions I must have bumped my chest with my arm - it hurt! Never thought I'd be happy to be in pain, but there we are. There's now some general breast growth happening   :D, though a bit lopsided  :-\ .
I'm also noticing my skin seems a little softer, but that might be a result of moisturizing regularly.
I haven't had a lot of mental changes, other than not getting angry as easily as before (and it's not as overwhelming as it once was when I do). I haven't noticed any other major changes (except for mild mood swings), but I also realized just how different my mindset has been since deciding to transition in the first place. I went from being moody, quiet, and angry to being generally happy & smiling far more often, so the hormones might just be 'cementing' that happier mood in.

I had my 3rd laser treatment for my face & neck 10 days ago, and I still don't see any results whatsoever. They've sent me numerous offers for more treatments at heavily discounted prices, but I hate to even consider that until I've seen SOME kind of results.

I mentioned it in another thread, but this last Saturday I had a wonderful girls-day-out shopping trip with a friend. I bought some great new clothes, including 2 dresses I won't really be able to wear (in public, anyway) until I can fill out the top better, but they were too good to pass up!

That's all for now. I'll try to keep up with this, especially when I'm feeling down. I can't be bottling things up anymore!

Thanks for reading, and good night, my sisters!

No... you shouldn't bottle up... time is your most valuable possession. A day in hell is a day ticked off that even money cannot buy. Life is worth more than all the gold on the planet, all the stars in the sky, because it is all there is. I been thinking about a lot of things lately... I lost some money over the weekend... but I felt so numb to it. I didn't change anything the day after, my day went normal; I didn't lose a dime;... Yes, money is valuable, but money cannot buy time... we're all watching the most epic film that we will only see once; Life. Everyone on Earth is watching this film, but the film is shot in many angles with different actors and actresses. You're one of the directors, and the film is filmed once, there's no erasing it.

Lose everything,.... yet the film doesn't stop so move on, let your mind find lemonade in the lemons, no point in sadness, that is just wasting the film roll. All the actors in the film, will not be on the same roll, some leave earlier, some stay past your final scene. Some forgotten, some loved for eternally.

Life is just a film, in the final scene is the eternal scene of the film your creating. One second you see it all, the next scene is "                      ", don't count the parenthesis. There's no blackness either.  Those two dresses you bought are worth millions, if wearing them make you happier; then wear them, it's only your mind that exist in this film. You can cancel out the thoughts of others, what are they to you? Nothing, even less worthy than the air you breathe. Your happiness is all there is, because you are all there is, and no one cares as much about you as yourself.

Both of our cameras connected, out of the infinite/variables scenes you or me could of had, that doesn't make me special, that just makes me as significant as the chair you see... but you saw the chair, and no other chair in that moment in time. Worth trillions. Worth billions. You could had saw anything in the world, but you saw these words instead.

You pay $10 or $20 to watch a Hollywood film, doesn't that film have the same value as seeing the night sky... every second there is equal in value to the next. It's your brain that is capturing it, make every scene worth it... your the most important person in your life; because you're is all there is. I'm just an actor in your life that created those words, which were created by generations of people before me with a technology created based on hundreds of years to get here..... Thank the Sun, the water, the Earth, the minerals in the sky, and the gravity that holds us together, and all the life forms that made us "real" through evolution in life.... without their contribution we wouldn't be here. The first mammal that was born on this planet is a distant relative of all humans... we're all just one family distantly ... everyone has the same DNA of being a homo sapiens... but without the first, we wouldn't be here. 

What is the most valuable action could you take right now, for your future or just the now? That's how we can make the best of life. Without regrets, without fear, without tears. I like crying though at times, it's like being in a sad film where Jack and Rose said goodbye, crying is better with popcorn too.

Spent another girl's day out  :icon_chick:, this time with a different girl friend in another nearby town. Did some second-hand shopping  (got a pair of jeans at one place for only $0.10!) & then window shopped at the mall (well, JC Penny's had a nice maxi-skirt I really liked in their clearance area for only $13). Picked up mostly stuff for fall/winter, including a cute pair of boots.
This particular girl friend is actually the same height as me (6'1"), so I felt really comfortable. Actually, she said we were getting some looks that she was sure were people convinced we were a lesbian couple! We're both bi, but not involved that way since she's married.

I never noticed any hair falling out, but I seem to have less dark hair on my face now. My upper lip is still pretty bad, but my cheeks & chin are much better. So I guess the laser treatments ARE working!

I've actually been pretty surprised at my rate of breast growth, and it's occasionally disconcerting. I want them, but was counting on them remaining hidden for a few more months (then baggy winter clothes can conceal them further).  They're not really all that big yet, but are somewhat noticeable through a t-shirt if I lean back. I'm sure I can pass them off as moobs for now, though.  :eusa_think:

Hi Sarah,

  I think you starting this thread is a good thing for you to do. If nothing else it documents where you are in this journey of yours. Several of us have done the same.
  It sounds like you do have outlets for your need to dress as yourself and that is a good thing for sure.
  I look forward to reading  more here of  the life and times of Sarah_P.

  Laurie

Quote from: Sarah_P on August 28, 2017, 09:33:03 PM
... about 3 weeks ago I got hit HARD by the dysphoria bus. ...I live in a small Kansas ... and I'm pretty scared about presenting feminine here. ... Thankfully the very next day we all went grocery shopping out of town & I got to dress appropriately. I felt SO much better after that! Now that I know I feel this way, I need to be sure I try to get out whenever I can, even if it's only for a short drive. ...

Hey Sarah, sorry to hear you live in a place which makes it difficult to head out locally. I hope that changes for you. In the meantime I'm glad getting out of town is a viable option.

I used to think my own town was closed-minded to the point where I'd not wear a skirt or dress out in the local area. It turned out that was mostly my own early transition anxiety thing. I sense your situation is vastly different but I'm hoping you can find something to make your environment a paradise... or move to one if that doesn't seem viable.

Quote from: Sarah_P on August 28, 2017, 09:33:03 PM
... There's now some general breast growth happening   :D, though a bit lopsided  :-\ . ...

Slight asymmetry with breasts is quite common with ciswomen. My understanding is it can be more marked during puberty. Remember when you start HRT it's a little like going through puberty. You should ask your doctor as an aside to ensure it's not anything else (I say that as a disclaimer, not because I feel there's a need). I asked my doc about this, she and others have confirmed... it's very common. You might web search for "is it normal for a woman breast to be different sizes"   ...and ask your doc.

Quote from: Laurie on September 03, 2017, 01:27:25 AM

Hi Sarah,

  I think you starting this thread is a good thing for you to do. If nothing else it documents where you are in this journey of yours. Several of us have done the same.
  It sounds like you do have outlets for your need to dress as yourself and that is a good thing for sure.
  I look forward to reading  more here of  the life and times of Sarah_P.

  Laurie

Thanks Laurie! I've never really had a journal or diary before, but than I again it's been a long time since I've cared enough about my life to even consider one. I actually want to remember all that happens on my journey to a happy life.

Quote from: Ashley3 on September 03, 2017, 04:09:23 AM
I used to think my own town was closed-minded to the point where I'd not wear a skirt or dress out in the local area. It turned out that was mostly my own early transition anxiety thing. I sense your situation is vastly different but I'm hoping you can find something to make your environment a paradise... or move to one if that doesn't seem viable.

I'd like to think I'm just being paranoid, but I've seen how a gay couple was treated here. Now with some people
feeling like it's their right to hate & discriminate these days, I'm feeling caution is certainly warranted. I'm capable of defending myself - I once was a brown belt in Karate, but I haven't exactly kept up with it over the years. Plus I bought a little taser if that fails.

Quote from: Ashley3 on September 03, 2017, 04:09:23 AM
Slight asymmetry with breasts is quite common with ciswomen. My understanding is it can be more marked during puberty. Remember when you start HRT it's a little like going through puberty. You should ask your doctor as an aside to ensure it's not anything else (I say that as a disclaimer, not because I feel there's a need). I asked my doc about this, she and others have confirmed... it's very common. You might web search for "is it normal for a woman breast to be different sizes"   ...and ask your doc.

I just learned about that yesterday from my friend I was out with, so I'm not concerned about it for now. Thanks!

Hi Sarah,

I live in a small, conservative Southern USA town, so I relate to you. You'll get more comfortable as you go along. It's only natural to get down and cry sometimes. Finding "safe" out-of-town places to shop and do stuff is a great plan. I love shopping as a girl. I just got home from shopping at the market for dinner tonight and a stock boy called me 'sir' when I asked where the pasta was. Dammit!  :eusa_doh: But I was in more of a non-binary, not trying very hard mode, so no biggie. Bumpy roads are normal. Good vibes your way!

Tommie

Quote from: Tommie_9 on September 03, 2017, 05:35:37 PM
I live in a small, conservative Southern USA town, so I relate to you. You'll get more comfortable as you go along. It's only natural to get down and cry sometimes. Finding "safe" out-of-town places to shop and do stuff is a great plan. I love shopping as a girl. I just got home from shopping at the market for dinner tonight and a stock boy called me 'sir' when I asked where the pasta was. Dammit!  :eusa_doh: But I was in more of a non-binary, not trying very hard mode, so no biggie. Bumpy roads are normal. Good vibes your way!

Thanks Tommie!  :icon_hug:  Yes, girl shopping is great!! I can spend hours (and have!) in one store. I need to be saving up money, but I'm a bit addicted to clothes shopping.  :icon_crazy:
I have yet to be misgendered in either mode. I'm really looking forward to my first male-fail (or dread it, depending on the circumstances!). My friends say I actually pass very well, and look quite a bit different between both 'modes', but I haven't fully accepted that yet. I think once I don't have to wear artificial things like wigs & breastforms, I'll feel much more confident.

Not a lot going on this last week. As I said in another thread, I contacted a friend I hadn't spoken to in almost 5 years, and he was completely understanding & supportive. He also only lives 30 miles away!

My 4th laser appointment is this Saturday. I'm actually looking forward to it, since I've started seeing results. The only thing I don't look forward to is going out of town but remaining in male mode. I still have too much facial hair to go out as female without makeup, and of course I can't have makeup on when I'm getting lasered. I thought about wearing a surgical mask or something, but decided not to. Besides, I'm not out to the people there yet.

I've been noticing my boobs are actually fairly noticeable unless I wear a baggy shirt (which I do when presenting male anyway). Decided to do some measuring, and it looks like I have *almost* an A cup already. I even have some jiggle if I bounce just right!  ;D  I think my hips are starting to fill out a little, too. I haven't been measuring them, but I'm going to start doing so now.

I'm eating fairly normally (sometimes too much!), which I'm sure is helping everything grow, but too much is going to my belly. I exercise about 30 minutes every morning, which I'm sure is the only thing keeping my gut in check. Now that it's cooling off, I might start waking back & forth to work again. It's only about a 12 minute walk, but doing it 4 times a day helps.

 Hi Sarah,

  All I have to say to you girls that can utilize laser is "it must be nice" It just wouldn't work on my blond and grey hairs so I'm destined to a life of having them zapped, boiled and then pulled out one hair at a time. I've decided on 3 one hour visit to my electrocutioner each month. Due to scheduling constraints I'll be enduring all three within an 8 day period. That means about a week of fuzzy faced itching.
  I'm glad you've reconnected with your friend again and it's sure a bonus that they are accepting. Enjoy that. You do know that your wouldn't have to sneak around if you just came out  and began living as yourself don't you? I tell you if you can pull it off it makes life much easier once all the fallout settles. Oh okay, yes I know it can be too costly at this point in your transition but that day will eventually come.
  You're doing fine Sarah. Keep it up.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Quote from: Sarah_P on August 28, 2017, 09:33:03 PM

I live in a small Kansas (central USA, for those in other countries) town that's super conservative & religious (plus a lot of people on meth & just plain drunk all the time),

Oh my God, that sounds BRUTAL!  You poor thing.  I'm lucky to live in Denver where being trans is much more casual.  But if you ever feel like it we have transgender support groups and low cost therapy at the GIC  and have people come from nebraska, wyoming, kansas to attend (I'm lucky that I only live a few blocks away from there).  I even know one woman who used to come from North Dakota before she finally moved to Denver.

Hi Sarah, you're young and already look pretty good, so I bet transitioning will be easy for you!  West Texas is as scary as they come regarding not passing.  I keep pretty androgynous, at best, out here.  But when I go to Austin or San Antonio (shopping, therapy, or hrt) I go a lot more femme and love it too, even though I know I don't really pass.  One help, I found, is just like in the movies.  just keep telling yourself "I belong here".  I really do think others pick up on our own apprehension so a little courage goes a long way and self confidence will build.  You're doing fine and lots of good people here to share with.  Toni

Quote from: Laurie on September 12, 2017, 11:20:43 PM
Hi Sarah,

  All I have to say to you girls that can utilize laser is "it must be nice" It just wouldn't work on my blond and grey hairs so I'm destined to a life of having them zapped, boiled and then pulled out on hair at a time. I've decided on 3 one hour visit to my electrocutioner each month. Due to scheduling constraints I'll be enduring all three with in an 8 day period. That means about a week of fuzzy faced itching.
  I'm glad you've reconnected with your friend again and it's sure a bonus that they are accepting. Enjoy that. You do know that your wouldn't have to sneak around if you just came out  and began living as yourself don't you? I tell you if you can pull it off it makes life much easier once all the fallout settles. Oh okay, yes I know it can be too costly at this point in your transition but that day will eventually come.
  You're doing fine Sarah. Keep it up.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Thanks Laurie! [emoji1] I'm happy the laser is finally working, but I know I'll have to visit the electrocutioner myself eventually. I've got a bunch of gray hairs that the laser probably won't zap.
I so want to start living full time! I should wait until I move somewhere safer, but I've been seriously considering going ahead.

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Quote from: Janes Groove on September 13, 2017, 12:04:48 AM
Oh my God, that sounds BRUTAL!  You poor thing.  I'm lucky to live in Denver where being trans is much more casual.  But if you ever feel like it we have transgender support groups and low cost therapy at the GIC  and have people come from nebraska, wyoming, kansas to attend (I'm lucky that I only live a few blocks away from there).  I even know one woman who used to come from North Dakota before she finally moved to Denver.

I'd love to live out there. As much as I'd miss seeing my friends, I'd really like to get out of the Kansas / Missouri area.
I have friends in Denton TX that will help if I wanted to move down there, but TX is a bit scary for us right now.
I thought I had some friends in Denver, but it turns out they moved to N Carolina. [emoji58]

Who knows, with our hateful racist anti-LGBT+ govener heading out (so far the only thing I can thank trump for) things *might* get better in Kansas. Probably not.[emoji27]

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Quote from: Toni on September 13, 2017, 10:33:47 AM
Hi Sarah, you're young and already look pretty good, so I bet transitioning will be easy for you!  West Texas is as scary as they come regarding not passing.  I keep pretty androgynous, at best, out here.  But when I go to Austin or San Antonio (shopping, therapy, or hrt) I go a lot more femme and love it too, even though I know I don't really pass.  One help, I found, is just like in the movies.  just keep telling yourself "I belong here".  I really do think others pick up on our own apprehension so a little courage goes a long way and self confidence will build.  You're doing fine and lots of good people here to share with.  Toni

Thanks Toni! ::hugs::
It's not as bad as it used to be, but I still feel a little nervous every time I go out. But, I've found after a little while I kind of forget to be worried and just enjoy myself (the hour drive to KC helps [emoji4]).

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Quote from: Sarah_P on September 13, 2017, 11:02:23 AM
Thanks Laurie! [emoji1] I'm happy the laser is finally working, but I know I'll have to visit the electrocutioner myself eventually. I've got a bunch of gray hairs that the laser probably won't zap.
I so want to start living full time! I should wait until I move somewhere safer, but I've been seriously considering going ahead.

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  I have to admit Sarah, Kansas is the only state that I was a bit concern with being in on my road trip after hearing how hostile it seems to be towards us. I've had to traverse it several times but that was the first times I did it as my authentic self. Not a good feeling. Moving just may be in your best interest.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Quote from: Laurie on September 13, 2017, 11:41:19 AM
  I have to admit Sarah, Kansas is the only state that I was a bit concern with being in on my road trip after hearing how hostile it seems to be towards us. I've had to traverse it several times but that was the first times I did it as my authentic self. Not a good feeling. Moving just may be in your best interest.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Lawrence is great, and KC is ok for the most part, but yeah, the rest is kinda scary.
As soon as I can come up with money to do so, and a new or potential job, I'm moving. I originally planned on doing my legal name & gender change first, but it's looking like that may be more trouble than its worth here.

I have a LARGE collection of anime stuff I'm wanting to sell, which could potentially pay for the move. Problem is selling online is too slow (I've been trying) & conventions cost a lot for tables. I'd like to sell it all at once to a dealer, as long as I get a fair price.
I used to be manager of an anime store, & was friends with a lot of other dealers, but lost touch with them all. Maybe I'll try & get in touch with some of them.

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Hi Sarah,

Thanks for sharing your story. I cannot imagine what it must be like for you to live in a small town in Kansas and be trans. I guess I am lucky I live somewhere that is much more trans-friendly.

I see that you eventually plan to move. How soon (realistically) do you think you'll be able to do that? I bet you'd probably feel a lot more confident going out in public as Sarah after you move.

Jenny

Sarah,

You and I will have to stay in touch as I get through Kansas usually a few times a year and may be doing so again in  a month or so. I have more fishing time on my fishing license in Missouri to use so perhaps we will be able to meet sometime.
  Have you thought of where you might be moving to? Around Denver is not bad and both Oregon (where I am) and Washington are pretty trans friendly. Plus you can smoke pot recreationally if that is your wont. I personally do not indulge. But those are a few places to keep in mind.

Hugs,
   Laurie

I'd love to meet up with you Laurie! I was tempted when you did your road trip, but I had just gotten started & wasn't confident enough to meet up with people yet.

I'd like to move pretty much anywhere else. I've never moved anywhere very far from here / Kansas City (I actually only moved down here because I was unemployed, couldn't find a job, and my friend here helped me find a place - it WAS super cheap to live down here, not so much anymore). I have no idea how you go about doing so. Finding a good place to live & a job in a town I've never been to? I've got my resume (almost), and I thought about putting it out there to see if anyone bites, but I have my doubts. At least until I finish some online coding classes.
Plus, as I said, it all takes money I don't have right now. The other bonus to selling my stuff is there's less to move!
I've visited cities all across the country when I was doing conventions, but I never saw very much of them other than the hotel/convention center for the convention itself (and obviously on the way through town to those places).

4th laser treatment down, and I'm seeing good results. The upper lip is a little clearer than it was. Hoping to see some of those awful hairs dropping out in the next week. The technician this time (I've had 3 different ones) actually did a far more thorough job than the others, getting all over my neck, too.

This Thursday I've got another therapy appointment. After that I'm finally going to go to the monthly transgender group meeting in Kansas City. Really looking forward to that.

But what I'm really excited about is going to the Renaissance Festival on Sunday with my friend & her husband! While I'm hoping we all have a good time, I'm also really hoping some of my old friends are still working there.

Quote from: Sarah_P on September 14, 2017, 01:48:56 PM
I'd love to meet up with you Laurie! I was tempted when you did your road trip, but I had just gotten started & wasn't confident enough to meet up with people yet.

You should have Sarah. At that time I was almost as much new to being out in public as you were. It would have been fun for both of us. Perhaps next time through. I'm a bit more comfortable with it at this point.

Hugs,
  Laurie

I went to the Kansas City Center for Inclusion's transgender group meeting on Thursday night. It was pretty fun! Met a lot of interesting people who's names I mostly can't remember. I'm still terrible with names!! I also probably should have spoken up more than I did, but I think I did rather well for someone who's been a social recluse for 15 years.  :-\
They were all very welcoming & friendly, and I'm definitely going back next month.

Quote from: Sarah_P on September 23, 2017, 10:44:40 PM
I went to the Kansas City Center for Inclusion's transgender group meeting on Thursday night. It was pretty fun! ...
They were all very welcoming & friendly, and I'm definitely going back next month.

Wonderful news Sarah... glad you found such a fun social outlet there!

Went to RenFest today! I didn't have a renaissance-style dress, but I was pretty happy with my outfit, even if my shoes didn't match the outfit at all (but I was comfortable walking around all day!). It was pretty darn hot & humid, and I was drenched in sweat for the duration. But it was still fun!

(https://i.imgur.com/HJQh3Vn.jpg)

Was shocked at how ridiculously high the prices for anything & everything were. Jewelry was way too pricey for me, and the clothing prices were absurd (some rather plain outfits were $500+!).
So, my girl friend that was there with me, who also sews rather well, has decided to make us our own outfits. This will also be a great opportunity for her to teach me how to sew, too!!  :)  I can sew a little, and even made some fairly basic cosplay outfits for anime cons (by hand - I don't have a machine).

Sadly, I didn't run into anyone that I knew. I was really hoping to find an old friend that I was room mates with way back when. I'm 95% certain she still lives in the same house, so I'm thinking of mailing a letter. Not sure if I should just drop by or not. I've driven by several times, but it never looked like anyone was home.

Great picture and congrats on the visit to RenFest and the upcoming sewing endeavor!

Thanks Ashley! According to one of my friends who came with me, there were occasionally guys checking me out while we were looking at stores (mainly when I bent down).   :o ;D

Last Saturday I had what was mostly a pretty good day. Went out of town with my live-in friends & met up with my other friends (who also happen to be my live-in friends son & daughter-in-law). JC Penney's had a crazy 1/2 of sale going on, but I didn't realize until we were checking out that the sale included the clearance items. Got 3 nice t-shirts, a necklace, and an infinity scarf for only $15. I would have gone back & got more, but we were on a schedule.
Then we went to dinner. Everything was going just fine until the very end when my best friend (that I live with) looked directly at me & referred to me by my male name, in a way that made it clear to anyone that might overhear that he was referring to me.  >:(
Now, I know he wouldn't do it just to be mean. His wife & I both think he's having problems with some medication he's on (he's on like over a dozen meds), that's making it difficult for him to think clearly. He's been acting almost like he's getting Alzheimers, but I don't think it's the actual thing. Earlier we were trying to patiently explain certain things like how netflix works & the various things a smart TV can do (they're buying one finally), and he kept getting angrier & more paranoid about it. Which is strange, because he's been watching netflix whenever he babysits his grandkids.
Thankfully it didn't look like anyone overheard, so that was good. Next time we go somewhere together I'll make sure I remind him before we're around others to use the correct name.

Hi Sarah,

  What fun to be out with friends. It sounds like you had a great time right up until the unfortunate incident. At least you know he wasn't trying to hurt you. Keep it up girl and enjoy doing what you can there.
   I still would love to make another trip out to Missouri this year but it is looking like I'll actually have to plan something and cancel some appointments to do it. For some reason I'm thinking I may need more appointments, not less though :( Then  with fall beginning, I am running out of time.
   I'm unsure how much time it would need to plan for though. I mean look if I add Julia and you, and there Tia, and Jane, and Randi. My friends in Idaho and another best friend in the Denver area... and that just on the way to my friends in Missouri. God, I'd love to just do it, just say screw it and get in my pickup and go. But I can't, Ive got therapy appointments, facial torture, voice, and my oncology in November. My oil hasn't been changed since last trip, the 4WD hasn't been fixed yet and I haven't recouped the money I spent on the last trip yet. (sigh).
   But mark my words Sarah, you and Julia are on the to do list.

Hugs,
   Laurie
 

Quote from: Laurie on October 04, 2017, 11:57:18 PM
   But mark my words Sarah, you and Julia are on the to do list.

Ummm, did you forget somebody? Florida is calling yooooouuu...

Steph (still waiting for breakfast)

All I can say is I have no plans at this time at all. Just ideas and all road trips require  stops in Weaubleau, Mo. But yes Steph(anie) you are most certainly on my must visit list. (as are several others) When it might happen is anybody's guess.

Quote from: Laurie on October 05, 2017, 03:35:23 AM
All I can say is I have no plans at this time at all. Just ideas and all road trips require  stops in Weaubleau, Mo. But yes Steph(anie) you are most certainly on my must visit list. (as are several others) When it might happen is anybody's guess.

We'll leave the light on for ya.

Steph

Quote from: Laurie on October 04, 2017, 11:57:18 PM
   I still would love to make another trip out to Missouri this year but it is looking like I'll actually have to plan something and cancel some appointments to do it. For some reason I'm thinking I may need more appointments, not less though :( Then  with fall beginning, I am running out of time.
   I'm unsure how much time it would need to plan for though. I mean look if I add Julia and you, and there Tia, and Jane, and Randi. My friends in Idaho and another best friend in the Denver area... and that just on the way to my friends in Missouri. God, I'd love to just do it, just say screw it and get in my pickup and go. But I can't, Ive got therapy appointments, facial torture, voice, and my oncology in November. My oil hasn't been changed since last trip, the 4WD hasn't been fixed yet and I haven't recouped the money I spent on the last trip yet. (sigh).
   But mark my words Sarah, you and Julia are on the to do list.

Don't go pushing yourself into anything crazy like making a plan!  ;)

I know how you feel though. I want so much to just get a way for a while. I've been invited to visit friends in Texas, & they'd provide food & lodging, but even the gas cost to get down there is just too much for me right now. Especially with a doctor's appointment coming up in 10 days. It's my first follow-up for HRT, so I'll finally get some hard data on how it's going.
We'll figure something out eventually!

Quote from: Sarah_P on September 13, 2017, 02:35:24 PM

I have a LARGE collection of anime stuff I'm wanting to sell, which could potentially pay for the move. Problem is selling online is too slow (I've been trying) & conventions cost a lot for tables. I'd like to sell it all at once to a dealer, as long as I get a fair price.
I used to be manager of an anime store, & was friends with a lot of other dealers, but lost touch with them all. Maybe I'll try & get in touch with some of them.

I'm banking on my own collections to fund stuff too. :D It's so hard to find a way to get rid of them though. I have thousands of comics, video games, and random anime collectibles that I think total up to a pretty good sum, but finding the right place to buy them is a problem. Have you ever considered doing an Amazon individual seller thing and having them shipped to and fulfilled by Amazon? Supposedly it's pretty easy way to just sort of be done with it and let the money trickle in overtime, though I couldn't find any definitive cost information (since they charge you to hold items in warehouse).

Quote from: Roll on October 05, 2017, 09:13:13 AM
Have you ever considered doing an Amazon individual seller thing and having them shipped to and fulfilled by Amazon? Supposedly it's pretty easy way to just sort of be done with it and let the money trickle in overtime, though I couldn't find any definitive cost information (since they charge you to hold items in warehouse).

I in fact have tried it, and sadly it is the exact opposite of easy. I think it's just the collectible toys category (and a few others) or something, but because of a lot of bootleg merch being posted there, they've really made it impossible to post anything. Out of 30 items I tried, I managed to get all of 2 posted. They kept telling me that I have to have proof I bought the item from the original manufacturer to post, which I didn't - I bought it from a legitimate store who bought it from them! I tried to create entirely new listings, and those didn't take either. I spent days trying to do this....  :eusa_wall:
Way back in 2004 I sold a lot of stuff through e-bay, but the fees were absurd. Plus having to box & ship everything myself, and maybe not selling enough before I move... not really worth it.
So I'm going the dealer route. I've almost finished my inventory (which would be done if I'd stop being lazy), and cross-referenced prices through both Amazon & e-bay. Now to just contact some dealers.
I appreciate the suggestion though!  :)

That's disappointing to hear, I was hoping it would be an easy way to skip the ebay route myself. :/ I'm lacking all of the same proof, so looks like that's out (at least so far as the collectibles go, maybe actual games and DVDs or whatever will work better there). I'm the same way about cataloging and pricing my stuff, I should have done it years ago but I keep just not stopping and getting it done.

So this morning I woke up crying. My GD wormed its way into a dream (I don't dream often, and when I do it's usually just vague chaotic nonsense). At some point in my dream, in which I was living happily as Sarah, I found out I could never legally change my name, and it just crushed me. Then I went looking for my cat for emotional support, but the one I looked for was my first cat Twinkie that died 13 years ago (which I realized in the dream).  :'(
Woke up and went looking for my current cats for comfort, and they both ran & hid from me.  Sigh. :icon_sadblinky:

So, anyway.....
Went to the doctor today for my 3-month HRT review. She'll be sending me the lab report eventually, but afterwards I picked up a sub at Jimmy John's and ate it at the park. I haven't been to this park in 30 years, it's gorgeous!! Took 3 laps around the walking trail.  :icon_walk:
... then got frozen custard at Sheridan's.  :eusa_doh:

(https://i.imgur.com/ejWuQpu.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/pUubnYj.jpg)

Oh, and I've started going out without my wig! Yay!! I'm feeling much more like my genuine self now. And I WILL get the name change eventually....

Hi Sarah.

  Gotta watch out for those dreams. I woke from one the other day with my heart racing and almost crying. It had all the good elements in it for a nightmare. My daughter, my ex wife, guns and a black stick shift car on the steepest hill I've ever seen. Like you I seldom dream but when I do they are almost always nightmares.
  Those pictures are nice both for the park and for the good looking young lady in the bottom one.

  Hugs,
    Laurie

Awww... thanks Laurie!!  :icon_hug:

Sadly most of my dreams that have actual content I can remember are usually bad ones (in one way or another). There's only one I can remember that was good (euphoric, actually - just being a woman).

If your dream rolls around again, hit those brakes! If that doesn't work, try the Flinstones braking system!   :)

Great pictures and you look like you're really enjoying life more... congrats on that upcoming name change!

I meant to reply a few days ago but must gotten distracted, definitely amazing pictures! I can't believe you've only been on hormones 3 months.

The good news on the dream front... you won't have to rely on dreams to be what you want to be, because you seem to be living it in reality! (And cats are just jerks.)

Thanks Ashley, thanks Ellie! Yeah, my cats are jerks. Good thing I love them anyway.   :icon_weirdface:

So I went to the monthly transgender meeting in Kansas City again, and had a great time. I talked to a few people about jobs in the area, and I might have some leads on a new job! Just need to finish that resume & get it out there.
Also stopped by a Goodwill store & spent more than I should have.  ;D But there were too many great dresses & tops in my size!!

Got my results from the doctor visit (we just tested testosterone, since I have to pay out of pocket & she was trying to help keep my expenses down).  8 ng/dL! Way down there where it should be, so no need to up my spiro (thankfully, it's the expensive one - though I need to go price checking elsewhere).

Really wishing i had something to do for Halloween, but I never did get a costume. Painted my nails up for it anyway.

(https://i.imgur.com/UYYpmMi.jpg)
There's always next year!

Spoke with my step-mother today. I'd forgotten that she had yet to see me as Sarah before! When she saw me she just said 'I guess I have a daughter now!'  :D  I don't see her as often as I'd like. I keep trying to come up with a time for us to have a mother-daughter day out, but she's so busy with her final semester for her nursing degree (at 63!) & dealing with my lump of a father.

On Sunday, I spent part of the day with a friend & her husband & 3-yo son. As I mentioned in the happy thread, they're now going to refer to my as 'Aunt Sarah' to him. Her husband also mentioned to me that i looked 'damn good' in my skinny jeans. Just so you know, he wasn't trying to hit on me or being crude or anything (I've known him for years & he's not like that), he just wanted to compliment me, and it did make me feel more confident.

Then I spent 2 days up in KC. I came up with the idea last weekend to actually stay up there overnight instead of driving back.... but completely forgot about that & didn't bring anything with me (change of clothes, makeup, etc..). Sigh...  So I ended up driving back Monday evening & went right back again Tuesday morning (80 miles each way). Good thing I like to drive!

Monday I visited my therapist, and she actually got me in touch with someone who works for a company I'm going to be applying to. I had a nice chat with her, and it sounds like a great place to work (especially since they're insurance covers transgender needs!!), so I hope I qualify for something. I'm sure I've said it before, but finding a new job scares me more than transitioning did (does?)!
OK - seriously, I've got to finish that resume... I've been putting it off waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long.

Tuesday I had my last laser appointment. I haven't signed up for any more, partly because I'm not 100% sure I'll be moving to KC or another town with them (Simplicity Laser, btw), but mainly because I think the laser has done as much as it possibly can. I've got too much gray hair already, and the laser just isn't doing anything for it, so I need to start up with electrolysis soon. I can't wait until I don't have to shave every single day....  Probably won't start electro until I move, though.
In the meantime I'll start using my Tria on my face (mainly my frustrating upper lip). I've been using it everywhere else, including my legs, and it seems to be working already (only done 2 full runs with it so far - every other week).

I sold some of my stuff (mostly non-anime stuff - Star Wars, Doctor Who, etc..), too. Got ripped off, but I was expecting that. I'd rather have the cash at this point, and selling online is a bit of a hassle for everything. I did sell a couple of games on Amazon recently, though.
I also got a hold of some old friends who run (ran) an anime store in Missouri, and while they're out of business now, they're going to get me in touch with some other dealers who might be interested in buying my collection. Fingers crossed!

Sounds like you are doing well in moving forward Sarah. It's not likely I'll be making another road trip this year. Perhaps next year we'll meet provided I get past this funk I'm in. Keep taking those steps to be who you are.

laurie

Quote from: Laurie on November 08, 2017, 01:56:04 PMIt's not likely I'll be making another road trip this year.

Oh, Laurie...   I have Fresh Baked Cookies...   Ever so many of them...  Oatmeal cookies with pecans and raisins, Oatmeal cookies with white chocolate, good old chocolate chip cookies... 

Six pounds of cookie dough in the freezer, all in little pucks ready to be baked should I ever have a visitor...  The tea service is out, and the espresso machine is hot, and cookies, Laurie, cookies...

(The honey badgers whispered that this would work...)


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Quote from: Michelle_P on November 08, 2017, 02:37:05 PMSix pounds of cookie dough in the freezer, all in little pucks ready to be baked should I ever have a visitor...  The tea service is out, and the espresso machine is hot, and cookies, Laurie, cookies...

(The honey badgers whispered that this would work...)

Well, it's working for me, but I'm ever so far away...

Steph

Quote from: Sarah_P on October 29, 2017, 09:39:49 PM
Got my results from the doctor visit (we just tested testosterone, since I have to pay out of pocket & she was trying to help keep my expenses down).  8 ng/dL! Way down there where it should be, so no need to up my spiro (thankfully, it's the expensive one - though I need to go price checking elsewhere).

While you are at it, check the price on Sprio in pills half the dose you are currently taking. I hear that the larger pills are more expensive per milligram than the smaller dosage. Seems that when it's used as a blood pressure medication the dosages are lower so the lower dosage is more common. Taking two at once is a small price to pay if it cost less.  As for the price check, try Good Rx (http://www.goodrx.com)

Quote from: Laurie on November 08, 2017, 01:56:04 PM
Sounds like you are doing well in moving forward Sarah. It's not likely I'll be making another road trip this year. Perhaps next year we'll meet provided I get past this funk I'm in. Keep taking those steps to be who you are.

Well, by then I should be living elsewhere, likely Kansas City. Once I actually have a kitchen of my own, I can work on my cooking skills again, and experiment on yo.... er, provide you with perfectly fine & tasty treats.
Though I don't think I can compete with Michelle's 6 pounds of (potential) cookies! Hmm... how far away is she? The lure of cookies is powerful, indeed!

Quote from: Dena on November 08, 2017, 04:08:45 PM
While you are at it, check the price on Sprio in pills half the dose you are currently taking. I hear that the larger pills are more expensive per milligram than the smaller dosage. Seems that when it's used as a blood pressure medication the dosages are lower so the lower dosage is more common. Taking two at once is a small price to pay if it cost less.  As for the price check, try Good Rx (http://www.goodrx.com)

Thanks Dena! I think you or someone else had suggested that site before, but for whatever reason I didn't try it. Looks like I can cut my spiro cost in half! More so if I do drop it down to the smaller size.

Gah!! I completely forgot about this months trans meeting in Kansas City, which was last night. Oh well, I can't really afford the extra gas right now, anyway.

Today is my 4-month hormoniversary! Things are going well. My breasts seem to be growing slowly and steadily. Not like I expected them to bulge out overnight or anything.  :eusa_think:

I'm going up to Kansas City tomorrow to hang out with some friends & celebrate 2 birthdays that happened this week. No idea what all we'll be doing, but I'm sure it'll be fun.

  Spending time with friends is always nice when you are able to be yourself. Have fun Sarah.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Well, I did have fun (mostly) in KC on Saturday. Plus I'm stuck in the middle of some family drama - something I've desperately tried to avoid most of my life. Sorry for the length, I'm going to rant a bit.

So on Saturday we went to a comic store, and my friend (that I live with) & I both bought something. Since it is literally the only comic series I buy (Future Quest - combines all the 70s Hannah Barbara action cartoons into one amazing story - I highly recommend it), I let my friend get his frequent shopper card punched for my purchase. He then said 'You're a scholar & a gentleman.', which made me flinch, but it was his follow-up correction 'oops, I mean lady' that really upset me. He did it RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE GUY AT THE REGISTER! When we got out of the store I told him just how wrong what he did was. OK, MAYBE the store clerk just thought that my friend made a simple goof, but it's equally possible I was just outed.  And you know what? my friend had the nerve to get angry & moody as a result of my telling him that what he did upset me!

He's also repeatedly deadnamed me in public (so far not where anyone overheard), including at dinner AN HOUR LATER!!  >:( . I really want to think he's not doing it on purpose, he's just incredibly absent minded, on some meds that are likely dulling his thinking, and he's known me as a guy for almost 20 years. But the fact that this keeps happening is making me wonder.
There's also something that a lady friend of mine (his daughter-in-law) has said, that he has no respect for women whatsoever. I really hadn't seen it until lately, but I'm thinking she's right. He's just one of those guys that THINKS he's supportive & respectful towards women, but really (perhaps subconsciously) thinks they're silly, stupid, and incompetent. Plus she told me that every time she's around him, he's always staring at her boobs and butt (and he is - I've seen it myself).
Though he apparently at least slightly sees me as a woman, since on the trip up to KC he said 'Don't worry, I'll protect you' (can't remember what we were talking about that led up to that). Really? The only courage he has is the gun he's always carrying. A 5-year-old could beat him up otherwise. Plus, I'm in far better shape than him, I have some skill in martial arts, and I carry a taser. Seriously - I can take care of myself.
I swear, he's just absolutely convinced that he's the only person in the entire world who knows anything, and everyone else is just a blithering idiot that constantly gets in his way. I have this feeling that once I get out of here I may not want anything to do with him anymore.

That's not all... As I said, this is the friend I live with, along with his wife (who has been incredibly good to me so far). I was invited to my lady friend's (OK, let's call her 'T' to make this slightly more coherent) thanksgiving dinner (my friends son, daughter-in-law, and grandson). So T told her family that her friend Sarah was coming, but her husband also invited his sister ('E'), her husband, and their 3 kids. So I'm not out to that family, since E's husband is more than a bit anti-LGBTQ, and my friends I live with are worried that he may forbid his kids from coming over to their house anymore while I live here if he did find out about me.
I just can't do that to my friends or to their grandkids. T & her husband have been incredibly good friends, and really want me to be happy & free to be Sarah. This is awesome of them, but it's really ramping up my desperation to go full-time. I'd been seriously considering it, even with the potential danger of attacks (verbal & physical) from people in this town. But I just can't.

Now I'm feeling more trapped than I've ever felt. I've got to get out of here!! I've applied for several jobs (see my thread in the employment area), but with Thanksgiving this week, I doubt I'm going to hear from anyone before early December. Plus I'm really going to have to scrounge for money to move with unless I can manage to sell my stuff (which I'm still waiting to hear back from people - again, likely delayed by the holiday). I may just have to use my fallback plan of finding whatever job(s) I can, even if it's not in IT (if I haven't heard back from anyone soon).

You'll figure it out Sarah.

What Laurie said!

However you approach this, just keep in mind one important thing: You seem to be wanted there, and that counts for a lot.

Also, I looked up Future Quest. Please tell me that it in some way references Birdman having a law degree. ;D

Thanks Laurie, thanks Ellie.

Quote from: Roll on November 20, 2017, 12:07:37 AM
What Laurie said!

However you approach this, just keep in mind one important thing: You seem to be wanted there, and that counts for a lot.

Also, I looked up Future Quest. Please tell me that it in some way references Birdman having a law degree. ;D

So far they haven't, but I haven't read volume 2 yet. I'm currently reading a 1200-page novel, so it may be a while....
The first volume was just amazing. They gave Birdman & Space Ghost actual back story (something the cartoons never had), and Space Ghost is like insanely powerful. There's a scene where an allosaurus is chasing Dino Boy & Ogg, and it's taken down by a single head shot from Race Bannon (from Johnny Quest). So awesome.

Deadnaming sucks, sorry that happened to you. I was out with my best friend of 20 years the other night,  I've been full-time for 6 months,  and they deadnamed me. I simply corrected him without making a fuss, and we moved on.
My old boss at work also has a bad habit of this,  but it's never once been deliberate.
There seem to be people who can just switch and always get it right after,  and there are a few people I know who continue to struggle with it; you can see them consciously working on it.

Bide your time,  get some cash together,  then get out when you can. It's hard now,  but keep the long picture in your mind. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

Thanks, Megan. I just wish I knew that it wasn't on purpose.  :(

I know it's entirely my fault that I haven't gotten out of here yet. I should have been saving better, and I should have been getting my resume out a month or two ago. In my favor, I'll say that I'm far more comfortable as myself around other people than I may have been even a month ago. Plus I'm far more motivated now than then, too. Self-confidence is still a yo-yo that bounces up & down on an hourly basis though.

Unless your friend is doing it everytime,  I'd try cut them some slack (with a gentle reminder).
And try not to think about the 'could have beens', we can't fix those. Look forward and chase your dreams! X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

OK, so Thanksgivings went just fine. Both days I had to dress in guy-mode since the kids were there both Wednesday & Thursday. T's family were all there on Wednesday, and it was awkward shaking hands with men who were expecting a hearty firm shake & got a definitely more feminine one (I've never been good at the masculine handshakes anyway, now even less so).

T's husband accidentally outed me to his sister E (he got really mad at her attitude, and it slipped), who was of the opinion that I definitely shouldn't be Sarah around her kids. For some reason they're thinking that their oldest son (9 or so?) is not 'manly' enough, and may be gay, and are trying to keep him away from anything that might 'influence' him. Yes, they are completely ignorant of how this all works, and apparently choose not to learn. Plus.. he's only 9!

E was perfectly polite to me on Thursday, and didn't seem to treat me any differently than she ever had, with the exception that I was far more talkative than I used to be. That is until T came over, and we went up to my room to watch the MST3k Turkey Day marathon, which did nothing to dissuade some people's belief that we're having a torrid affair. We're not btw, but obviously since we're both bi, we MUST be all over each other, right?  :rolleyes:

Hopefully I'll be out of here soon & not have to deal with all this family drama.... that's not even my family!!

Oh, and I ate WAAAAY too much. It was all so good... both days!  :icon_chew: :icon_weirdface: :eusa_sick:

Ugh, the guy handshakes. I'm not sure there has ever been something that me feel as awkward as guy handshakes.

Anyhow, glad to hear it went well all things considered! :) I'm also glad you mentioned MST3k, I still need to watch the new stuff and have been trying to figure out something light to watch, and that's perfect. (I've been in a TV mood last few days and clearing out some series that have been sitting in my to do list for a while.)

Quote from: Roll on November 25, 2017, 01:06:32 AM
Ugh, the guy handshakes. I'm not sure there has ever been something that me feel as awkward as guy handshakes.

Anyhow, glad to hear it went well all things considered! :) I'm also glad you mentioned MST3k, I still need to watch the new stuff and have been trying to figure out something light to watch, and that's perfect. (I've been in a TV mood last few days and clearing out some series that have been sitting in my to do list for a while.)

Enjoy! It took me a bit to get used to everyone new, but I really think season 11 is some of the best MST3k has ever done. And they announced season 12 is happening!

Was feeling really down last weekend, not sure why. Then just randomly started feeling better a couple days later. Probably just a case of the 48-hour GD Flu.  :eusa_eh:

Spent last Sunday & yesterday with T and her family. Last Sunday she needed to practice her nail art skills (she's a recently licensed cosmetologist, but she's also in college so hasn't started working yet). Normally she does some pretty impressive work, but her hands were a little shaky due to not eating & the tape she had wouldn't stick to my fingers, so it didn't turn out all that well (thus no pictures).

Yesterday she did my makeup & showed me a few new things. She did say she's going to take me shopping for better brushes next time we're together though. I'm not surprised, I've been thinking I've been needing better ones anyway. She also had a mock interview for a class she had to do a video of, and I helped her with that. Which also helped me, since until then I hadn't thought about preparing for interview questions!

I've applied to dozens of jobs now, but the only thing I've heard from any of them was 3 rejections. Sigh.  I've come to the conclusion I'll probably have to settle for a non-IT job for now, while still working on my code skills. I applied for a few clerical jobs, as well as some mail room jobs (also something I've done in the past).

I'm loving learning at freecodecamp.org (they even give certifications & work with recruiters to find work for their members.), and am heavily leaning into doing front-end web design eventually. Which is technically something I've already done (did my current work's website, my own retail site 13 years ago, and a former employer's retail website 18 years ago).

OK, today really sucks so far. Mood swings all over the place. Started off fine, then became depressed. Then got really angry and I almost screamed at a patron that they were a f-ing idiot for not understanding how to print something after I showed them 3 times already. Then I felt upbeat & happy for about 20 minutes or so. Then I started crying. Now I'm just feeling sad & lonely.

Ugh.... at least I'm off an hour early today because of a stupid parade (it blocks the streets around the building so we couldn't get our cars out if we closed at our normal time).

  Deep breaths Sarah, slow deep breaths. You will be okay. This will pass and you will go home and relax. Perhaps a soothing hot fragrant bath.

Quote from: Laurie on December 05, 2017, 04:36:05 PM
  Deep breaths Sarah, slow deep breaths. You will be okay. This will pass and you will go home and relax. Perhaps a soothing hot fragrant bath.

Oh, if only I could..... I've only got a stand up shower.

My mom came to my rescue. Just before my lunch hour she texted asking if I wanted to go get lunch. Hecks yeah! Felt so much better afterwards. Talking to her was just what I needed (well, the delightful mushroom & swiss burger certainly helped).
When I came home I got all made up (nails & all), and put on a semi fancy outfit with my new skirt. I'm feeling pretty darn good now.

Quote from: Sarah_P on December 05, 2017, 09:48:42 PM
Oh, if only I could..... I've only got a stand up shower.

My mom came to my rescue. Just before my lunch hour she texted asking if I wanted to go get lunch. Hecks yeah! Felt so much better afterwards. Talking to her was just what I needed (well, the delightful mushroom & swiss burger certainly helped).
When I came home I got all made up (nails & all), and put on a semi fancy outfit with my new skirt. I'm feeling pretty darn good now.

That's just great Sarah.

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

Quote from: Laurie on December 05, 2017, 09:52:46 PM
That's just great Sarah.

Thanks Laurie. On a side note, I've been really liking that Kleancolor scented nail polish you had suggested to someone not so long ago.

Had my first hour (of 300+) of electrolysis - just face for now. Not bad! Laser definitely hurt worse. I would have done 2 hours if I had the money. Then again, she did suggest it might be best to leave it at an hour anyway to see how my face reacts later. It was sore for a few hours, but that's gone now.

Still looking for someone to buy my stuff. Had a potential buyer, but he can't come up with that much cash. Might just have to try going back to e-bay.

 Hi Sarah,

  Congrats on your first electrolysis session and considering it not bad. If you can keep saying that you will be doing much better than I. I also thought it wasn't too bad my first time after another session or two I began thinking otherwise. The first was my estradiol was increased and so was the pain of electrolysis with it. The next was I had her start working on a different location and OMG! it HURT! Christina has been working on my mustache area for the last 5 one hour sessions with more to come. Each area have their different pain levels and under the nose is the worst I have encountered so far. I have her keep working at it because I want it gone and I want the pain of that area over with. Then the rest won't be so painful by comparison. Oh yeah she is doing blended and one notch below max power.
   Good luck with your sessions as you can afford them I know money is really tight for you. Hopefully that will change.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Quote from: Laurie on December 12, 2017, 11:31:03 PM
Hi Sarah,

  Congrats on your first electrolysis session and considering it not bad. If you can keep saying that you will be doing much better than I. I also thought it wasn't too bad my first time after another session or two I began thinking otherwise. The first was my estradiol was increased and so was the pain of electrolysis with it. The next was I had her start working on a different location and OMG! it HURT! Christina has been working on my mustache area for the last 5 one hour sessions with more to come. Each area have their different pain levels and under the nose is the worst I have encountered so far. I have her keep working at it because I want it gone and I want the pain of that area over with. Then the rest won't be so painful by comparison. Oh yeah she is doing blended and one notch below max power.
   Good luck with your sessions as you can afford them I know money is really tight for you. Hopefully that will change.

Hugs,
  Laurie

She was pretty surprised I wanted to start on the upper lip. She said most wanted to wait on it because of the greater pain, but I want it over & done with asap. Plus, it's the worst as far as remaining dark hair (laser got the majority of it everywhere else).

To quote the immortal words of Dalton, 'Pain don't hurt'.

  Well Sarah good for you. That's been the only place that cause cause tears for. Just a few of those silent ones that tend to leak out but they did show up one time. I haven't a problem admitting it really stings after the EMLA cream wears off. Glad you found it no so painful.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Just had a wonderful all-day shopping trip with my mom!  She made the comment 'I never imagined I'd get to have a fun girls-day-out with you!'  ;D

Went and saw some of the Christmas lights in the Johnson County area, including these two houses across the street from each other owned by IT guys that compete for the most incredible radio light-show. For those who haven't seen these, the lights are all computer-controlled to move & flash in time to music being broadcast on their own radio signal.

Finished up the last of my Christmas shopping, too! Now for the wrapping.

Which brings up a realization that struck me today - I ENJOYED buying gifts for people! See, I've been a pretty selfish jerk up until now. I'd always manage to come up with some excuse to spend that money on something for myself instead. My only worry was whether everyone will like their gifts.  I don't know if it's the E so much as just being happier, and wanting to do something to share that with others, and of course thank them for their support!

Hi Sarah,

  It sounds like you had one heck of a good day with you mom and what a wonderful thing for her to say. I hope you gave her a squeeze and a kiss after that. And to top it off an attitude change to boot!

  Keep that good attitude up girl,

Hugs,
  Laurie

I gave her several big hugs!  ;D  She's the best mom I've ever had! Admittedly the bar was kind of low....  :-\

Quote from: Sarah_P on December 18, 2017, 07:49:26 AM
I gave her several big hugs!  ;D  She's the best mom I've ever had! Admittedly the bar was kind of low....  :-\

That's so exciting you had that time out! I'm super jealous. :D

Quote from: Roll on December 18, 2017, 09:37:10 AM
That's so exciting you had that time out! I'm super jealous. :D

You'll get out there yourself soon enough! In fact, sounds like you & your sister could have a fun day of shopping!

Had my 2nd hour of electro on Tuesday. She did managed to get a lot of my chin done, and I've had a larger redder chin since then (plus a few other small puffy spots).  I'll have to wait until after the new year to go back, since I can't afford another hour until then (hoping I can afford 2 hours).

Tonight I went to the trans group meeting in KC again. It was fun. At one point a bunch of us were showing each other cat pictures.  :icon_giggle:  I think I'm slowly getting over some of my social issues. I enjoy being with people and talking, but I can so rarely come up with topics of conversation. Even when I'm with friends, I sometimes just can't find anything to talk about. Hopefully I can get past that eventually...

Had a great day out with my mom again, despite waking up with a stomach ache (I've eaten waaaay too much the last 4 days).

Then I get home & check my email, and find yet another rejection email for a job I applied for. I'm beginning to think I'll never find a job, and never escape this town. I know one of the reasons I'm not being hired is that I'm terrible at interviews. I'm too honest about myself, and can't really inflate my own worth all that well.

It also really upsets me that a single email can ruin a perfectly good day. I don't know. I'm going to bed.

Hi Sarah,

  Rejection no matter what it is from always sucks. It's just a matter of degree, some things suck more than others. The trick is to take what you can learn from the rejection and use it to grow, to make yourself better from it. You say you think you know why.... change it. Be more positive! Sell yourself! Show then who you are and what you can do! Believe in yourself girl. You can do this.

Hugs,
   Laurie

I've been getting the same. Except I get the automated rejection emails that say they found a better fit.

I almost feel like giving up sometimes then I think "what do I have to lose?" The answer is always, nothing!



Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

My current job, the person doing doing the hiring at the time was a friend of mine. He took my resume, he did the interview, I got hired.

I did NOT get hired because of the interview nor the resume. I got hired because he knew me. Let me explain, he knew my qualifications. I did not 'sell' myself on paper nor in person, I really undersold myself and he knew it. He told me point blank that I did not stand up for myself or what I was capable of.

Don't be afraid to take credit for who you are or what you know, put it out there. If you feel you oversold yourself and you get a job, work harder to earn it. win-win

Laurie, Dist, Faith, thanks. I'm not going to stop trying. Plus, I'm still hoping to hear back from another library I did a phone interview with (I haven't had any face-to-face interviews with anyone yet). I've got job alerts from a few different job sites coming to me every day, and usually end up applying for at least one of them. Law of averages says someone will want to hire me....

What sucks the most is that I HAVE a great job, but I have to leave this town (I also really really WANT to leave this town - seriously, it's horrible). There's also the problem of low pay & no health insurance, too....

Hi Sarah,

  Question. Do you have or can you get a recommendation from your current job? Perhaps they know other companies elsewhere that are looking for people with your qualifications. Sometimes you can get help from you current employer. But only if you feel it is safe for you to do so.

Just an idea.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Quote from: Laurie on December 27, 2017, 12:18:40 PM
Hi Sarah,

  Question. Do you have or can you get a recommendation from your current job? Perhaps they know other companies elsewhere that are looking for people with your qualifications. Sometimes you can get help from you current employer. But only if you feel it is safe for you to do so.

Just an idea.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Yes, the library director is supportive and, even though she doesn't want me to go, is no doubt going to give me a great review (provided anyone calls, which I'm not sure anyone has). The assistant director is now a good friend and also one of my references. I'm sure either of them would point out any opportunities for me they come across.

And cancel that other library job, just got a rejection email for that, too.

Don't give up hope! My brother cycles jobs like nothing (he gets bored easily), and will always get hordes of rejections before finding the right position. So much of it is dependent on who is interviewing you too, because the very things that may not work with one person will be the very things that appeal to another.

Though I've seen people talking to the people who rejected them and just asking outright "what can I do to make myself a more attractive hire?". All it takes is one to reply with the right critique and you have an answer as to what you should work on that may very well land you a job down the road.

Thanks Ellie. I'm trying to keep my hopes up, but it's hard, especially when you get rejected for a job that's basically the exact same job you're already doing but with less duties.

Quote from: Roll on December 27, 2017, 01:30:51 PM
My brother cycles jobs like nothing (he gets bored easily), and will always get hordes of rejections before finding the right position.

There was a time when I was just like your brother, I once changed jobs 4 times in the same year.

Well, as it turns out not getting that particular library job may have been fortunate after all. There are 2 more library jobs that I just got a notification for, and I'm even more qualified for them. Plus, they're more behind-the-scenes jobs than the other ones, so that might work out better for me right now.

Crossing my fingers!! Oh, and applying....  :icon_yes:

OK, conundrum time. The absolutely perfect job came up recently, and I've applied for it. It's literally exactly what I've been doing (far more so than any others), but for way more pay & actual benefits (and an actual IT job title). I'd like to think I'm a shoe-in for this one, and I have this really good gut feeling about this one - my gut has rarely failed me (except by expanding....). The job offer doesn't close until 1/19, so I won't know anything for a while.

I just got a call today (went to voicemail, I'll have to call back tomorrow morning) from another job I applied for to set up an interview. What do I do? Go ahead and interview for it, possible getting it, then saying sorry if I get the better job?

These are the problems I WANT to have!    :)

Also, this one I got the call for is in Missouri (the better one is in Kansas - the fun of a city that straddles states), which begs the other question I've been considering. I know Missouri is far better for LGBTQIA+, but according to what I can find of the laws regarding gender marker change for driver's license, it requires a doctor's note saying you've undergone surgery (Kansas does not at this time). Can any Missourians here confirm/deny that? I know the same rule applies to birth certificates in MO, also (thankfully I was born there since Kansas made changing gender on those impossible).

So far 2018 is going rather well....  :icon_razz:

Ainsley or Jessica Lynne are in Mo. you might try PMing them. As for your dilemma I have no help for you.

Hugs and good luck Sarah
  Laurie

Hi Sarah,
I just got caught up on your thread. I'm probably not the best person to give job interview advice. I have been in the same job for 25 years and have no interview experience since then.

If you have an interview, how long after the interview would you expect to hear if you are successful, and would there be 2nd and 3rd interviews? Time may be on your side to give both jobs a shot.

You have a good feeling about the better job, but it's not a certainty. So you may potentially be risking turning down a job only to be unsuccessful with the next one.

You have already applied for the better job, if you are the right person they are looking for, is there a chance they might want to interview you before the offer closes?

I probably haven't helped you much. It's a tough call. You will have to decide if it's worth the risk to hold out for the better job.

Beat of luck with your job hunting. I hope you get the job you want.

Jayne

Quote from: Jayne01 on January 02, 2018, 11:41:55 PM
Hi Sarah,
I just got caught up on your thread. I'm probably not the best person to give job interview advice. I have been in the same job for 25 years and have no interview experience since then.

If you have an interview, how long after the interview would you expect to hear if you are successful, and would there be 2nd and 3rd interviews? Time may be on your side to give both jobs a shot.

You have a good feeling about the better job, but it's not a certainty. So you may potentially be risking turning down a job only to be unsuccessful with the next one.

You have already applied for the better job, if you are the right person they are looking for, is there a chance they might want to interview you before the offer closes?

I probably haven't helped you much. It's a tough call. You will have to decide if it's worth the risk to hold out for the better job.

Beat of luck with your job hunting. I hope you get the job you want.

Jayne

Thanks Jayne, that actually does help. Those are questions I hadn't asked myself. I've never had more than 1 interview for any job, but I've heard of places that do multiple interviews. I'd like to hope that maybe they'd like to interview me asap, but there's no telling. Since these jobs are library, they have to abide by city / state requirements for hiring, just like a government job.

do the interview. Don't tell them that your hoping for a different one to come through. If they interview and accept you, make sure your availability is after the other job might come through - the one that you really want.

prospective employers list people out. You may or may not be the first call back since others may have taken a different job. It happens here all the time. We've had people accept the job and never show up, show up for a day and leave. Do what's in your best interest, that's what employers do.

Quote from: Faith on January 03, 2018, 08:03:39 AM
do the interview. Don't tell them that your hoping for a different one to come through. If they interview and accept you, make sure your availability is after the other job might come through - the one that you really want.

prospective employers list people out. You may or may not be the first call back since others may have taken a different job. It happens here all the time. We've had people accept the job and never show up, show up for a day and leave. Do what's in your best interest, that's what employers do.

Cool, thanks Faith!

I've got an interview with the Missouri one next Tuesday. This will be my first face-to-face interview as Sarah, so I finally get to wear my 'interview outfit'. Which brings up another question - shoes. I have a pair of dress shoes, but being winter would boots be appropriate? I guess as long as I wear the dress shoes with socks they won't be too cold.
I also wish my slacks were 'tall', but they're not too short on me. I'm going to be up in KC on Saturday, and I'm going to hunt around for some tall size pants. I've got some on the way from Old Navy (which they only sell 'Tall' pants online apparently) but they won't be here until next Wednesday.  :(  Alternatively, I could pick up a maxi skirt (which I've been wanting to do, anyway).

I'm pretty excited for this... and not just because it gives me a great excuse to clothes shop! Though shopping with a friend is always more fun.  ;D

Best of luck with your interview. Remember to sell your self as best you can. Believe you are the right person for the job, the ONLY qualified person for the job. Show confidence, and make the interviewer believe that they have struck gold by you landing on their doorstep. You've got this!

Geez, where to begin? So I had a 2 hour electrolysis session on Saturday. Hurt a lot worse this time, probably because I wasn't thinking and had a cup of tea with breakfast.  :P She did pronounce that I had no more dark hairs along my chin, though! Plenty of white ones still left.... apparently I'm prone to puffing up (does the P in my name stand for Puffin?!).

I had all sorts of plans for doing some shopping & looking at the general areas of apartments I'm interested in, but only got to drive down one area & just finished cleaning up to look marginally presentable in public when I got a text asking if I was coming to a friend's (son of the people I live with, husband of my lady friend) birthday dinner that night, which was further from KC than where I live, so 1-1/2 drive or so to get there. Plus, I had to stop by home first to change since the kids were going to be there.  :-\  So I cancelled any shopping I was going to do (which was probably for the best, since my skin was peeling from the electro), and made it on time (barely). My problem is NO ONE had mentioned that it was even happening to me. My friends thought the friends I live with had told me, but of course they hadn't. I believe it was simply not realizing I hadn't been told, or 'we thought THEY told you!'. Sigh.

I almost decided to skip out on the dinner, but they asked me if afterwards I would speak to a someone they knew who just came out as trans and needed someone to talk to about it. I had to go after I found that out. I did my best to explain what I could, and directed them here (due to various reasons I won't go into they simply cannot begin transition yet, or even see a therapist for several years without loosing their job). I just hope I was able to show that there was hope, and they weren't alone. I wish I hadn't been in male disguise, but they didn't bat an eye when I introduced myself as Sarah.

It was funny when at dinner, my lady friend needed me to watch her purse at one point, so I put it on my lap to keep it safe. One of the kids laughed and said 'You LADY!!'. I just smiled a big smile at him, which he looked confused by.  ;D

Lady friend showed me what to do with makeup for my interview tomorrow, as well as my hair. I think I can give myself a blowout now (geez, that sounds dirty!). She also dyed my hair, since the dye we were using on my roots was a different color than what I'd used for the rest before (lighter & redder). Now it's mostly even.

I'm going to be studying & psyching myself up tonight for the interview! My friends approved of my outfit, and said it gave me a 'school librarian' look, which I'm happy with. Really sells it when I put my reading glasses on.

Hi Sarah,
I wish you the best for your interview tomorrow. Good luck!

Jayne

I have my fingers crossed for you Sarah. Good luck in the interview. Be confident. Own it and sell yourself. You know you are good so show them you are the one they are looking for. You got this Girl.

Hugs,
  Laurie.

Interview went very well! We chatted for a bit afterwards as they showed me more of the library (big city libraries are HUGE!!). They'll let me know in a week.
One problem with this job - it's only 20 hours/week, but has the possibility of having another 29 hours depending on need. If I don't get 40 hours, I'm not sure I can make enough to survive, much less save for GRS. So, crossing my fingers that I can get that salary job at the other library.

On the bad side, my necklace vanished! I know I had it on when I got out of my car, and I'm pretty sure it was on during the interview. I didn't even notice it missing until I was halfway home. I'll check my car in the morning, maybe it fell off in there. I really liked that necklace...

LOL, a woman came in today at work and commented about my longer hair, and asked if I wanted her to teach me how to braid it.  :icon_hahano:
It would have been a nice offer if it wasn't from this particular person. About a year and a half ago she flat out blamed our director for the death of an ex-employee (she died 2 weeks after she was fired), which upset the entire staff, and I had to seriously fight my anger not to punch her in the face (back when I was still pre-transition and incredibly angry).

Hi Sarah,

   Good to see the interview but will hope for the other job with you.

I guess you will have to have someone else teach you to braid.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Sigh... 3 day weekend and nothing to do. I could go somewhere, but all my friends are busy. I guess I'll do my taxes and finish up my latest coding project. Yay.....

I've been feeling really lonely lately, and wanting to start dating again, but it feels kind of awkward right now. Living with friends, being in a small town, likely having to drive at least 30 minutes to an hour or more just to meet up with someone. After talking it over with a couple of my lady friends, they both seem to think I should wait until I get out on my own again first. I know they're probably right, but it's hard.

Even getting out of town, I feel lonely. I drive all the way to the city and back, by myself. I go around doing whatever and/or shopping, by myself. Both my lady friends have families, so they can't get away that easily (nor do they very often have the money to do anything). I love the occasional trips with my mom, and I love her dearly, but it's just not the same.

I'd also like to make more friends, but that's not all that easy for me, either. I've been a social hermit for so long I often just don't know what to say. One of my friends is the same way, and when we hang out occasionally she & I will
both just be staring at our phones because neither can come up with something to talk about. I didn't use to be this way! I vaguely remember people enjoying hanging out with me, so I must have been at least marginally socially skilled at some point.

I know I'm probably just itching to get away from here & truly start my new life, but that also means seeing my current friends even less than I do now.

You now have Don't Stop Believin' stuck in my head because of mentioning being in a small town and going to the city. But I don't consider that a bad thing, because it's a pretty good song to be stuck in your head if ones going to be.

But yeah, I'm pretty much right there with you.  :-X I sit around with nowhere to go and no one to go with even if I did. Even family has been absurdly busy lately and I'm just kind of sitting around zoning out pretending to do school work alone. I almost went to see Insidious 4 by myself the other day, but that just seemed lame even for me and I talked myself out of it. I just sort of hung around in the grocery store for no reason.

I mean... how do you even make friends? Like... where do people meet each other nowadays? I had friends as a kid, where did they come from? Is there some sort of app to make friends that doesn't end in sex/murder/murdersex?



Just a small town girl... :eusa_whistle: :eusa_whistle:

Quote from: Roll on January 13, 2018, 11:59:42 PM
You now have Don't Stop Believin' stuck in my head because of mentioning being in a small town and going to the city. But I don't consider that a bad thing, because it's a pretty good song to be stuck in your head if ones going to be.

But yeah, I'm pretty much right there with you.  :-X I sit around with nowhere to go and no one to go with even if I did. Even family has been absurdly busy lately and I'm just kind of sitting around zoning out pretending to do school work alone. I almost went to see Insidious 4 by myself the other day, but that just seemed lame even for me and I talked myself out of it. I just sort of hung around in the grocery store for no reason.

I mean... how do you even make friends? Like... where do people meet each other nowadays? I had friends as a kid, where did they come from? Is there some sort of app to make friends that doesn't end in sex/murder/murdersex?

Just a small town girl... :eusa_whistle: :eusa_whistle:

LOL! I hadn't even thought of that, but now it's stuck in my head, too.

I don't know! I'm not going to go hang out in bars, that's for sure (especially since I really don't drink). I'm going to an anime convention in March, mainly to sell my collection - a dealer that's an old friend of mine is going to be there,  though he's in for a surprise unless I mention my new name before hand. Maybe I can try to be social there. There's also a 'comic' con (really more a media con) coming up in February, but there's not really much of a reason to go, there's only 1 guest so far I'd like to see & entry is pretty expensive.

I've gone to see movies by myself - it's no fun. Same with eating out.

Well..... crud. Got turned down for the job I interviewed for. Which is actually OK, since it was only part time (20 hours, with a possibility of more).

Now, the job I really wanted, they did want to hire me. There's just the major problem of the starting salary being significantly less than I'm making now. I just couldn't possibly get by with the higher cost of living in that area. Not to mention never being able to save anything for SRS. The job included full medical insurance, but it won't cover it.

So I'm a upset, but not depressed. I've still got an application in for an IT job that I have hopes for, but I've now got plans if that falls through, too. I've come to the conclusion that I may have judged this town I live in too harshly. I still want to get out of here, since I'm tired of living so far from civilization, but I can deal with it for now.

I was already leaning this direction, but coming out to the last of my coworkers today, and having them being happy & accepting of me, has made me realize how much I have here. I have people that care for me, I have a good stable job where I'm needed, trusted (I have a key!), and appreciated. I even make enough to squirrel away a small chunk of change every month, especially if I cut out unnecessary expenses (still not enough to afford SRS anytime in the next 7 years though). We even got a decent raise this year, which is our first raise in over 5 years.

So next week I'm talking to our library board, and letting them know about my transition. Like my coworkers today, I wouldn't be surprised if a few of them already figured it out. Then, maybe even the very next day, I will start living as Sarah full time. Is it a risk? Yeah, but isn't that true anywhere? There was a trans woman living here a few years ago, and she never came to harm. Was she mocked behind her back? Oh, yes. If that's the worst thing I face, I'm OK with it.

The only catch is my current living situation. As I said before, my friends I live with are fine with me being Sarah except around the grandkids. This could result in my either having to disguise myself only when they're around, or just avoid them. Neither of those options are good or sustainable. So, I'll have to move out. Hopefully I can find some place to move that's not too expensive & not in a bad area. My hope is that they'll still let me live there long enough to get the legal name/gender marker change (or at least try...). It'll be so much easier finding a place (& job hunting, for that  matter) with that done. Of course, it's highly likely that once I'm full-time those grandkids are going to see me as Sarah anyway, whether I move out or not, so they'll have to deal with it then. Plus moving out means I (should) have my own kitchen again, and I can use my desk (it's solid wood, and way to heavy to lug upstairs where I'm staying) and my couch (no room even if we could get it up the stairs) again!

So... yeah. I'm not letting this get me down. I'm moving forward however I can. I'm working on my coding skills (and really need to double-down on the time I'm spending on this!), and maybe I can eventually find a web development job or something in the next year. Meanwhile I'll still keep my eyes open for opportunities.

I'm sorry the job hunting is hitting obstacles along the way. You do, however have a really good attitude and backup plans. I'm sure you will end up where you need to be. Good luck with the continued job seeking and the coming out process with your current job.

Jayne

Quote from: Jayne01 on January 16, 2018, 05:15:39 PM
I'm sorry the job hunting is hitting obstacles along the way. You do, however have a really good attitude and backup plans. I'm sure you will end up where you need to be. Good luck with the continued job seeking and the coming out process with your current job.

Jayne

Thanks Jayne! Yes, I'm trying to keep my spirits up. If I let myself get down I'll just fall into my old habits of feeling sorry for myself & getting nothing done. I've got too much to do, so I can't let that happen!!  :D

I completely forgot! Yesterday was my 6 month hormono-versary! Yay!! Everything's moving along steadily. I already had fairly feminine hips & butt to start with, but they seem more pronounced now. Boobs are growing more slowly, though they've been really sore the last week, and today they itched like crazy, so hopefully another growth spurt. I can definitely see changes in my face, too.

Congrats on the 6 months, Sarah.

Quote from: Sarah_P on January 18, 2018, 10:08:44 PM
I completely forgot! Yesterday was my 6 month hormono-versary! Yay!! Everything's moving along steadily. I already had fairly feminine hips & butt to start with, but they seem more pronounced now. Boobs are growing more slowly, though they've been really sore the last week, and today they itched like crazy, so hopefully another growth spurt. I can definitely see changes in my face, too.

:icon_birthday: / 2!

 Happy half anniversary???  Congrats on the 6 month mark Sarah

Hugs,
   Laurie

I mentioned it in the happy thread, but I got my ears pierced yesterday! I spent the day with my friend and her family. We went around the mall & a few other places, too. It was mostly a day out celebrating her birthday, but we did a few things for me, too. Worked out well, since with the great deal at Claire's she got a few things, too.

The young lady that did the piercing asked if I was her mother.  :-\  While I'm happy I apparently passed very well, the age thing was a bit disheartening (even if I actually am just old enough for it to be possible). She looked a little surprised when we told her no, like she was worried she upset me by the comment. Not really. What was really surprising is that she had to look at my drivers license, and still asked that question? My DL is from 3 years ago, so it's rather obvious from the picture (not to mention the name & the completely incorrect 'M' on there) that I was trans. But I think she just looked at the license number, and ignored the rest. Or was just nice? Oh well. She also asked how long I've wanted my ears pierced - 35 years. 'Wow, what took you so long?' 'Uhhm... denial?'.  :D

I had almost forgotten about it, but when I was a teenager I really wanted to get a single ear pierced, but my step-mom kept putting it off until I finally gave up on it.  :P

We dropped by both Ulta & Sephora, and were both aghast at the prices (we knew it going in, but seeing them in person was almost worse). Sephora did have some really cool make-your-own eyeshadow pallets with beautiful bright colors, which we both loved. That might actually be worth the $40 for 4 colors. Why are are the really cool colors so expensive?!

Anyway, it was a fun day out, and I got the important duty of entertaining their 3 year old while in the car. He's amazingly smart (and creative!), and we're all pretty sure he's already taught himself how to read, but just doesn't realize that's what he's doing yet.

Hi Sarah,

  Congrats on the ears! And the nice day out you had with your friends.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Between my sore boobs (yay!) and new earrings (yay!) I'm running out of viable sleeping positions. I didn't sleep very well the last 2 nights because of it.  Hopefully I can find something that works soon.

Quote from: Sarah_P on January 22, 2018, 01:44:19 PM
Between my sore boobs (yay!) and new earrings (yay!) I'm running out of viable sleeping positions. I didn't sleep very well the last 2 nights because of it.  Hopefully I can find something that works soon.

I want those problems.

Quote from: Sarah_P on January 22, 2018, 01:44:19 PM
Between my sore boobs (yay!) and new earrings (yay!) I'm running out of viable sleeping positions. I didn't sleep very well the last 2 nights because of it.  Hopefully I can find something that works soon.

If the wires are too hard on your neck, try taking a bandaid with cotton and placing it between your neck and ears.

As far as the boobs,well, I have to wait until mine arrive.

Quote from: Roll on January 22, 2018, 03:40:04 PM
I want those problems.

   Your turn is coming girly...

Hugs,
  Laurie

Quote from: Laurie on January 22, 2018, 03:56:38 PM
   Your turn is coming girly...

Hugs,
  Laurie

And then it happens to Ellie as Laurie sits back with her hand over her mouth as she slightly giggles......

Quote from: Cali on January 22, 2018, 03:55:19 PM
If the wires are too hard on your neck, try taking a bandaid with cotton and placing it between your neck and ears.

As far as the boobs,well, I have to wait until mine arrive.

It's that the lobes are still sore, and any kind of pressure on them hurts just enough to wake me up. They're not feeling too bad right now though, so hopefully they won't be a problem tonight. I'll take some aspirin or ibuprofen before bed, maybe that'll help, too.

And yep, the boob fairy will come visiting you too!

Quote from: Roll on January 22, 2018, 03:40:04 PM
I want those problems.

Soon enough you'll get to enjoy all this fun. Bwahahaha.....

Quote from: Sarah_P on January 22, 2018, 05:35:51 PM
It's that the lobes are still sore, and any kind of pressure on them hurts just enough to wake me up. They're not feeling too bad right now though, so hopefully they won't be a problem tonight. I'll take some aspirin or ibuprofen before bed, maybe that'll help, too.

Oh, I hope you feel better tonight.  Mine tend to push against my head next to my ear(s) depending on how I'm sleeping and as I tend to sleep on my side most the time I'll wake myself to the point that I even remove them as much as I don't want to just to get back to sleep.

Quote from: Sarah_P on January 22, 2018, 05:39:45 PM
Soon enough you'll get to enjoy all this fun. Bwahahaha.....

Ah, a good natured, entirely non-evil laugh!

My first day of work as Sarah was GREAT!!!! All my worries about this town seem so silly now.
For the most part people didn't really say anything one way or another. There was one guy who walked in & said "That's the weirdest thing I've seen today". He seems to have some weird idea that this is just a prank or costume or something. He'll learn soon enough. I still got 2 or 3 sirs, but those were regular people who have said that to me forever, so it's still reflex for them at this point. Plus I'm still convincing myself they're saying 'Sarah' too quickly.
On the bright side, I had many compliments. One woman said I looked fabulous and was very happy for me. I wanted to hug her. After she left I had to step aside and hold back some tears. Best of all, our courier guy that I see every day (who, by the way, is SUPER cute!) said I looked very pretty.  :icon_redface: I may or may not have been flirting with him for the last couple months.  ;) Clumsily, I'm sure - I've never flirted before!   :angel:

EDIT: Oh yeah!! Plus another woman said 'I know the man that's normally at that desk, but I don't think I've seen you before.'. Nope, you've not seen me before.  :D  Yet another woman asked a coworker if I was <deadname>'s sister.

Bring on day two!

Awesome sauce Sarah. Indeed "Bring on day two!"

Sounds like you had a pretty darn good day  for having to work.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Sarah, I like your new profile pic.

Jayne

Yay, wonderful news Sarah,  so glad it went well for you. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

Quote from: Laurie on January 24, 2018, 08:53:18 PM
Awesome sauce Sarah. Indeed "Bring on day two!"

Sounds like you had a pretty darn good day  for having to work.

Hugs,
  Laurie

My work is rarely all that difficult. In fact, I usually spend most of the day working on my coding lessons / projects.  :)

Quote from: Jayne01 on January 25, 2018, 01:05:23 AM
Sarah, I like your new profile pic.

Jayne

Thank you! I so rarely am able to take a decent selfie, mostly due to my older phone. And the selfie camera is like way worse quality than the back camera.  :( 

Quote from: Megan. on January 25, 2018, 01:08:31 AM
Yay, wonderful news Sarah,  so glad it went well for you. X

Thank you!!! I'm sure eventually it will all feel routine, but it's pretty exciting right now!

Saw the doctor today, everything's going great. Best of all, she wrote up a letter for me for my name & gender marker change. Later this week I think I'm going to wander over to the courthouse and get that started!

After that I went to see Shape of Water (by myself - I had time to kill). That was so good!!!

Then I met up with a couple guy friends and we got some dinner after hanging out a bit. Went to a Chinese resteraunt, and the very nice woman working there really liked my necklace & asked about it. She wondered if there was a diamond in it - I had told her it was probably cheap plastic.
Edit: Just remembered, it's actually the same necklace I'm wearing in my current avatar.

Quote from: Sarah_P on January 29, 2018, 11:22:05 PM
After that I went to see Shape of Water (by myself - I had time to kill). That was so good!!!

Haha, I just did that on Saturday. ;D Was bored, no one else was around and it was just plain dreary, so I ate chick-fil-a and watched one of the weirdest movies I've ever seen (and that is saying something).

My constant reaction throughout the movie: "Awwww, that's sweet. ... Oh, wait, god, and really messed up."

Hi Sarah,

  Name change huh? sheeesh another girl zipping past me and off into the sunrise leaving me in her dust. cough cough gasp cough.

Congrats girl!! cough cough. I'm gasp cough Happy for you.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Quote from: Roll on January 29, 2018, 11:24:52 PM
Haha, I just did that on Saturday. ;D Was bored, no one else was around and it was just plain dreary, so I ate chick-fil-a and watched one of the weirdest movies I've ever seen (and that is saying something).

My constant reaction throughout the movie: "Awwww, that's sweet. ... Oh, wait, god, and really messed up."

I was really impressed with the movie too.  Gills grow on you :)

Quote from: Roll on January 29, 2018, 11:24:52 PM
Haha, I just did that on Saturday. ;D Was bored, no one else was around and it was just plain dreary, so I ate chick-fil-a and watched one of the weirdest movies I've ever seen (and that is saying something).

My constant reaction throughout the movie: "Awwww, that's sweet. ... Oh, wait, god, and really messed up."

I didn't say it wasn't weird, but it was still great! The musical number really topped it off.

Quote from: Cassi on January 30, 2018, 09:22:53 AM
I was really impressed with the movie too.  Gills grow on you :)

Right? And for some reason I was hungry for hard-boiled eggs.

Quote from: Laurie on January 29, 2018, 11:34:32 PM
Hi Sarah,

  Name change huh? sheeesh another girl zipping past me and off into the sunrise leaving me in her dust. cough cough gasp cough.

Congrats girl!! cough cough. I'm gasp cough Happy for you.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Thanks Laurie!! We'll see how well it goes, this is Kansas after all. I don't think I'm kicking up all that much dust... but again, Kansas. We're pretty dusty sometimes.  Just dodge the tumbleweeds. :D

Quote from: Sarah_P on January 30, 2018, 01:46:38 PM
Thanks Laurie!! We'll see how well it goes, this is Kansas after all. I don't think I'm kicking up all that much dust... but again, Kansas. We're pretty dusty sometimes.  Just dodge the tumbleweeds. :D

Dodge them? No you stop and make neato forts out of them.

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

I've been sick for the last 3 days. Started with nose running on Friday (still trying to catch it), then sore throat & all-around feeling miserable. What's worse it's not even the 'helpful' kind of sick where I can't eat - I'm just as hungry as ever but spending 90% of my time lying down, so I'm definitely not losing any weight from it.
I just had a flu shot last Monday. I know they say 'It's not the shot that made you sick!', but I can only imagine it's part of it. I'll probably be back at work tomorrow, though my voice is really froggy right now.

 As long as it ain't that nasty flu going round.  Awwww there there hun, you'll be okay soon. But you're young and would probably beat it easily.

Hugs,
Laurie

I don't know if it's the same thing or not, but it definitely put me down for several days. I did go to work yesterday, but I became mildly oblivious to the world as the day ran on. I'm feeling much better today, but throat is still not great. Makes it harder to sound feminine when I'm still trying to find exactly where that is.

On to today's news though:
SQEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!   My court date for my name change is next Monday!!!
The unfortunate part? I've got electrolysis that morning. OK, 2 hours of pain (10:15), should give me enough time to get back home & clean up before the court date (2:30), with a 90 minute drive in between.... it might be close. I may have to shorten my torture session to 90 minutes, just to be safe. Or, just reschedule for the next week, which may be better because I have plans this Sunday, too. Plus I don't want my face to look all puffed up & red at court. Hmm....

Yay! for the upcoming court date. I would reschedule the torture session. One week won't matter in the grand scheme of things. Better to not risk being late for court, and you don't want to be putting makeup on a freshly zapped face, not good for healing.

Glad you are feeling better.

Jayne

Quote from: Jayne01 on February 07, 2018, 02:23:18 PM
Yay! for the upcoming court date. I would reschedule the torture session. One week won't matter in the grand scheme of things. Better to not risk being late for court, and you don't want to be putting makeup on a freshly zapped face, not good for healing.

Glad you are feeling better.

Jayne

Oh darn Sarah, I'll have to agree with Jayne on the postponing of torture and for thr same reasons. Dang how I hate hhving to do that!

Oh btw.... Squeeeee!! on the court date.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

Thanks Jayne, Laurie (supportive 'squeees' are the best!  :) ). You're right, I went ahead & did reschedule. So excited!!

Quote from: Sarah_P on February 07, 2018, 01:27:43 PM... SQEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!   My court date for my name change is next Monday!!!

The unfortunate part? I've got electrolysis that morning. OK, 2 hours of pain (10:15), should give me enough time to get back home & clean up before the court date (2:30), with a 90 minute drive in between.... it might be close. I may have to shorten my torture session to 90 minutes, just to be safe. Or, just reschedule for the next week, which may be better because I have plans this Sunday, too. Plus I don't want my face to look all puffed up & red at court. Hmm....

Go for broke! Tell the judge, "Do you think I'd do this to my face as a lark? I'm serious here!" ;D

j/k you did the right thing rescheduling. I don't know what Jayne and Laurie were doing trying that reverse psychology on you. Thankfully you didn't fall for it.  ;)

Quote from: Faith on February 07, 2018, 06:16:26 PM
Go for broke! Tell the judge, "Do you think I'd do this to my face as a lark? I'm serious here!" ;D

j/k you did the right thing rescheduling. I don't know what Jayne and Laurie were doing trying that reverse psychology on you. Thankfully you didn't fall for it.  ;)

It might come out a little mumbly through the puffed up face though....

You're right, I won't not refrain from never falling for their false anti-tricks. 

      Another supportive squeeeeee here I just picked up the last paper I need for my name and gender change from the court house today Squeeeeee


     bobbisue :)

Quote from: bobbisue on February 07, 2018, 09:49:42 PM
      Another supportive squeeeeee here I just picked up the last paper I need for my name and gender change from the court house today Squeeeeee


     bobbisue :)

Yay!! Congratulations!!  .....Squeeee!!

Quote from: bobbisue on February 07, 2018, 09:49:42 PM
      Another supportive squeeeeee here I just picked up the last paper I need for my name and gender change from the court house today Squeeeeee


     bobbisue :)

Congratulations Bobbie

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

Just realized that our local driver's license office is only open on Thursdays and Fridays, so even if I get my court orders for name & gender change on Monday, I still have to wait until Thursday to get that done?!! I don't actually have to get it at this office though, I could drive to the next town over. Patience or not to patience...

Quote from: Sarah_P on February 08, 2018, 09:36:52 PM
Just realized that our local driver's license office is only open on Thursdays and Fridays, so even if I get my court orders for name & gender change on Monday, I still have to wait until Thursday to get that done?!! I don't actually have to get it at this office though, I could drive to the next town over. Patience or not to patience...

Decisions decisions

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

     Thanks for the congrats Sarah I would make the drive in a flash I drove 90 km [55 miles ] to change my pic

      bobbisue :)

Meeting up with some friends tomorrow to see the new Mazinger Z: Infinity movie!!! Can't wait... I've been dying to see it since the first teaser, and was astounded that it was getting a US showing.
For those not in the know, Mazinger Z (Tranzor Z in the US in the 70s) is a 1972 giant robot anime series, and was actually the very first of what would come to be called 'Super Robots' (later Mobile Suit Gundam would start what would be known as 'Real Robots'). While there were other giant robots before (Tetsujin 28 / Gigantor + others), Mazinger was the first to be directly piloted, instead of remote controlled or voice commanded.

So there's your robot anime history lesson of the day.  ;D

Sounds fun, there's never any random showings of anything around here!

Quote from: Sarah_P on February 10, 2018, 11:53:16 AM
While there were other giant robots before (Tetsujin 28 / Gigantor + others), Mazinger was the first to be directly piloted, instead of remote controlled or voice commanded.

Gigantor the space age robot...  :eusa_whistle:

As I said in the happy thread just now, I am now legally Sarah Dawn P.....!!! I'm not sure about the gender marker just yet, since apparently judges in Kansas can't issue orders for that. There's a good chance the lady at the DL office will do it anyway, but I should be able to request the change through Topeka.
Can't change the name at my banks until I get the DL, which I can't get until the office opens on Thursdays (only open Thursday & Fridays). I didn't have time to do it today, but I'll run on over to the SS office in the next town over in the next few days and get that changed.
So many places I need to get it changed... but I'm so insanely happy I don't mind the work! I almost broke out in tears when the Judge approved it and called me by my new name. I managed to hold it in until I got out to my car, then the dam broke. Amazingly, my makeup didn't run!  :'( :D

Oh, and I'm celebrating with cheesecake!
(https://i.imgur.com/Vr4M1dn.jpg)

Quote from: Sarah_P on February 12, 2018, 05:21:40 PM
As I said in the happy thread just now, I am now legally Sarah Dawn P.....!!! I'm not sure about the gender marker just yet, since apparently judges in Kansas can't issue orders for that. There's a good chance the lady at the DL office will do it anyway, but I should be able to request the change through Topeka.
Can't change the name at my banks until I get the DL, which I can't get until the office opens on Thursdays (only open Thursday & Fridays). I didn't have time to do it today, but I'll run on over to the SS office in the next town over in the next few days and get that changed.
So many places I need to get it changed... but I'm so insanely happy I don't mind the work! I almost broke out in tears when the Judge approved it and called me by my new name. I managed to hold it in until I got out to my car, then the dam broke. Amazingly, my makeup didn't run!  :'( :D

Oh, and I'm celebrating with cheesecake!
(https://i.imgur.com/Vr4M1dn.jpg)

I think you're in violation of the TOS on this site by posting that picture without providing some to all the girls!

Is that chocolate chip cheesecake with a chocolate and caramel drizzle I see.

... Oh, and congratulations!! ;D

 :D I'd gladly share it with everyone here! That way I wouldn't try to eat it all myself. No one at home will save me from myself, so I think I'll take it to work tomorrow to share with the other ladies.

Quote from: Sarah_P on February 12, 2018, 10:03:00 PMI think I'll take it to work tomorrow to share with the other ladies.

The other ladies! Do you see the immensity of what you did there?

How awesome when we finally completely accept ourselves! You've made it, girl.

I'm so happy for you, Sarah Dawn!

Stephanie

Quote from: Steph2.0 on February 12, 2018, 10:25:21 PM
The other ladies! Do you see the immensity of what you did there?

How awesome when we finally completely accept ourselves! You've made it, girl.

I'm so happy for you, Sarah Dawn!

Stephanie

I know! I actually typed that without even really thinking about it, and it struck me a moment later. Thanks Steph!!!

Hi Sarah,

  Sqeeeeeeeee again congrats girl. wonderful news for sure.

btw you can eat or trash that delicious looking horrible concoction you showed. You know which I would chose to do with it.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Quote from: Laurie on February 12, 2018, 11:35:08 PM
Hi Sarah,

  Sqeeeeeeeee again congrats girl. wonderful news for sure.

btw you can eat or trash that delicious looking horrible concoction you showed. You know which I would chose to do with it.

Hugs,
   Laurie

So much Squeeee!!!!  :D   I seriously considered trying to eat the whole thing myself, then decided that maybe it wasn't such a great idea. Maybe.
Thanks Laurie!!!

Someone at work today asked me my name, and of course I said Sarah. A moment later I had to hold back some tears, because I realized that it's true now in every sense.  :D

Quote from: Sarah_P on February 13, 2018, 09:49:34 PM
Someone at work today asked me my name, and of course I said Sarah. A moment later I had to hold back some tears, because I realized that it's true now in every sense.  :D

Soooooooooooo jeaaaaaaaaaaalouuuuuuuuuuuuuus. ;D

Quote from: Roll on February 14, 2018, 12:25:31 AM
Soooooooooooo jeaaaaaaaaaaalouuuuuuuuuuuuuus. ;D

You'll be there someday soon, too!! I know it feels like time is crawling along at a snail's pace right now, but someday you'll look back and wonder where the time went. Hang in there, sister!

For real.  Seriously this might be about the most productive year of my life.

So as mentioned in the 'Happy' thread, I did get my license changed today. SQUEEEE!!
I also updated my name at both my banks, and they'll be sending me new debit cards. Interesting thing happened at one of the banks. I was sitting with a nice 50-something woman, and had handed over all my documents. She was looking up my account, and--
Her: I'm sorry, I don't see your name on this account.
Me: What?
Her: There's only one name on this account.
Me: Yes, and I'm changing that name.
Her: But you're not on this account. The only name on it is <deadname>.
Me: Oh, (I hand her my old license), that's because I WAS <deadname>.
Her: (confused look, gradually changing to surprise when she figures it out). Oh!! I'm so sorry! I had no idea. Congratulations!
Me: Thank you. That's perfectly OK, I imagine you don't have something like this come up all that often.

No problems after that, and she was still perfectly happy to help me. I didn't tell her how great it made me feel that she didn't have a clue that I was once classified male.  :D  Of course, this also means she didn't really read the name change order that I handed her, since it says flat out what my deadname was. Kind of worrisome that my bank professionals don't read...

Most importantly, you passed above and beyond!

 Sarah,

  I shake my head when I think how not very long ago you were still pretty much in the closet and worried about going out in public and just look at you now. Your doing it girl! You are Sarah! You're taking care of things and beginning to live as you should have been living all along. What a change in you!
  I fear I'm destined to watch everyone begin their journeys only to see them run on past me as I sit here watching in my rocking chair.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Quote from: Laurie on February 16, 2018, 09:42:50 PM
Sarah,

  I shake my head when I think how not very long ago you were still pretty much in the closet and worried about going out in public and just look at you now. Your doing it girl! You are Sarah! You're taking care of things and beginning to live as you should have been living all along. What a change in you!
  I fear I'm destined to watch everyone begin their journeys only to see them run on past me as I sit here watching in my rocking chair.

Hugs,
   Laurie

I still don't quite feel like I'm living my life yet, but at least I'm living AS myself.
2 years ago, I never would have imagined I could ever do this. Becoming Sarah was just a far off dream that could never happen, even as the depression and self-loathing was consuming me.

A year ago.... I don't know if I had hope, but I was still working up the courage to try. I assumed I'd fail, or everyone I knew would turn against me once they knew my secret. But I knew not making the attempt would be my end. I did try to end it, after all, and knew I would try again if I didn't do something.

I still remember how scared I was to dress the first time in front of my friends at home (heck, I remember being scared to post here the first time!), and then the first time going outdoors dressed for a therapist visit. The joy of freedom quickly overrode those fears, and I became desperate for any opportunity to go out. I was still scared each time for a while, worrying about if I should go here or do this. I was also so concerned with passing that I probably looked like a nervous bird to everyone around me.

Eventually though, all those concerns kind of evaporated. I stopped worrying about passing, and because of that I think I actually do pass far better now. I also still remember the wonderful feeling of looking in the mirror and seeing a woman. I really don't see that guy at all, anymore, especially since the face in the mirror is smiling most of the time now.  :D

I still feel a crushing loneliness. I love my friends and mom, but I need someone(s) special in my life. As much as I love working at the library, and how awesome my coworkers are, I really need a career of some sort. I know I'm better off financially than some, but I know I can do better. I want my own home some day, and I'll never have it with what I make. Especially since I'm saving as much as I can for GCS, which at this rate is at least 5-8 years away, at best (aarrgh!!!).

I have a few milestones I know for certain I'm working towards: Dating, sex (not necessarily in that order?  >:-) ), and GCS. I also need to finally dump off all my old guy clothes. They're all bagged up and in my car's trunk, but I keep forgetting they're there. Yes, I really am forgetting, not subconsciously clinging to them. My memory is truly awful, and it seems worse now than it used to be. I'll get rid of them sometime this week.

So, yeah. I guess I really have come a long way in a short time. I admit, I never could have done this without the love and support from the people around me. How did I never see how amazing these people were before? But I also couldn't be where I am without the kindness, understanding, & support of everyone here, including a certain 'Laurie'. I'm not kidding when I tell people that Susan's is the most wonderful place on the internet.

Well, there's nothing that quite knocks your confidence level down a few notches like having your therapist forget about your appointment. I sat there waiting, until I realized it was 25 minutes past my appointment, and it didn't sound like anyone was in her office. I texted, and it turns out she had the flu & a sick kid, and had forgotten to tell me she wouldn't be in. I'm not upset with her, she's sick. Stuff happens. But I am very disappointed anyway. I haven't seen her in months & really needed to talk to her about a few things, plus share my good news about the whole name & full time thing.

Then one of the very things I wanted to talk to her about came crashing down on me after this - my crippling loneliness. Once again I drove all the way to the city only to drive all the way back again. By myself. I ran by a couple stores while I was up there, and the loneliness just kept pounding me down. Especially since I didn't talk to my therapist, I didn't even get to SPEAK to anyone the whole trip (except store clerks). I would have run by a few more places, but I just couldn't take it (plus I managed to buy way more at one store than I should have - I tend to spend money when I'm depressed - and eat, I had 2 whoppers at BK - which I ate in my car). I kept seeing women out together shopping, eating, whatever, and it really set me off.

It's hard enough getting my male friends to do things, but so much harder to get my female friends out. The one I live with, K, I've tried to get out to do things. She doesn't like to go shopping or anything - the only things she likes to do is work and house/lawn work (seriously, she told me this herself - it's like if she relaxes for a moment she'll fall apart). My lady friend at work, V, has 3 children and only rarely can get away, and usually doesn't have the money to do anything (I've only ever done anything with her once). My best friend T has a 4 year old and no job (yet, though she's trying now that she's graduated), so has no time or money to do anything, plus she's uncomfortable driving long distances. I've done more with my mom than anyone else at this point. I'd gladly pay for their meals or whatever, but I really can't afford to do that (at least not too often). I mean, we don't even have to actually shop - we can just window shop, see the sights, whatever. I really want to go to the museum, I haven't been there in 25 years or so.

I love them all, but I so want more friends to do things with (more than once every 4-6 months!). I just want the companionship, and maybe someone to advise me on clothing choices & whatnot. I want to have fun!! I just don't know how to find them. Of course, I also want an actual relationship of some sort, and if the two could be combined that would be fine, too.

I don't know.... I know I've said these same things before, and am just repeating myself. Sorry. I know I'm very fortunate to have my friends that I do and my mother, and to have come so far in my transition already. I feel like I'm being selfish wanting all this, but I've been pretty much all alone for 20 years. I'm sick of it! At one point today I was cursing HIM for ruining so much of MY life because of fear. So... sorry again. This is probably at least 50% hormones (I did break down crying while typing this). I think I'll watch a disney movie and go to bed (there's so many of them I haven't seen yet).

It kills me that so many of us have the same problem with getting out and doing what we truly want to/need to since we find ourselves in a different place in life than most of our peers, and yet we are all so spread about geographically we can't fix it by doing it all with one another. It's like a cruel joke.

Also, sorry to hear about the therapist thing, that just truly sucks.  :-\

Oh, and if you haven't seen it, Zootopia = the best.

Quote from: Roll on February 22, 2018, 07:49:14 PM
It kills me that so many of us have the same problem with getting out and doing what we truly want to/need to since we find ourselves in a different place in life than most of our peers, and yet we are all so spread about geographically we can't fix it by doing it all with one another. It's like a cruel joke.

Also, sorry to hear about the therapist thing, that just truly sucks.  :-\

Oh, and if you haven't seen it, Zootopia = the best.

I know! I'd love so much to hang out with all of you, but just can't afford to travel far. Not sure my car would survive a very long trip. What's worse is I love to travel, love to drive, and see new things. I used to do it all the time when I was running the anime store. I got to see so much and meet so many people, most all of which I've since forgotten.  :embarrassed:

Thanks Ellie, sometimes I think the skype thing might be a better route for therapy, but I'd have to finally get a camera (which I should do at some point, anyway).

I have Zootopia in my Netflix list, but I ended up watching Mulan. Great movie, but maybe not the best choice - the song about seeing your true self in the mirror didn't help much.  :-\

Skype is not only a way to get therapy but it's a great way to communicate with others on the site. I set Skype up when I first became a moderator and I have spent many hours talking with others. Logitech has some great cameras and they are simply plug and play. In addition, they aren't very costly. It's also a good idea to have a headset with a microphone as it really improves the audio in both directions. I'm using a cheap gaming headset which works well.

Quote from: Dena on February 22, 2018, 10:28:20 PM
Skype is not only a way to get therapy but it's a great way to communicate with others on the site. I set Skype up when I first became a moderator and I have spent many hours talking with others. Logitech has some great cameras and they are simply plug and play. In addition, they aren't very costly. It's also a good idea to have a headset with a microphone as it really improves the audio in both directions. I'm using a cheap gaming headset which works well.

True enough. I love my therapist, and don't really want to switch to someone else, but It'd be nice to not have to drive 80 miles just to see her.

As I said in the fabulous thread, my friend T rollered my hair Saturday. Sadly, Sunday is my oil & wash day, so I lost everything that she did. We did it primarily for pictures of her work for a job interview, anyway. So after doing my hair, I slapped on rollers myself & gave it a try. I think it came out OK.
(https://i.imgur.com/RRB9LiI.jpg)

Today my hair wasn't quite as voluminous. It's like it's deflating....
(https://i.imgur.com/6fLtl6f.jpg)

That blouse is one of the new ones I found at Goodwill last week. I also caught a few creepy older guys (not creepy because they're older, but because they'd be creepy even if they were younger) trying to look down the front. I've got to say, it's an odd sensation - I'm flattered that someone wanted to do that, but also creeped out.
At least I do have some cleavage now! Actually, I caught myself peaking down there a few times, too...  ;D

Quote from: Sarah_P on February 26, 2018, 10:33:55 PM
As I said in the fabulous thread, my friend T rollered my hair Saturday. Sadly, Sunday is my oil & wash day, so I lost everything that she did. We did it primarily for pictures of her work for a job interview, anyway. So after doing my hair, I slapped on rollers myself & gave it a try. I think it came out OK.
(https://i.imgur.com/RRB9LiI.jpg)

Today my hair wasn't quite as voluminous. It's like it's deflating....
(https://i.imgur.com/6fLtl6f.jpg)

That blouse is one of the new ones I found at Goodwill last week. I also caught a few creepy older guys (not creepy because they're older, but because they'd be creepy even if they were younger) trying to look down the front. I've got to say, it's an odd sensation - I'm flattered that someone wanted to do that, but also creeped out.
At least I do have some cleavage now! Actually, I caught myself peaking down there a few times, too...  ;D

Looking pretty good kiddo and nice brow job.

 I hate to have to say it Sarah but I have to agree with Cassi. Looking good there girl.
Now remind me where Kansas is?

Hugs,
  Laurie

You really look like one of my aunts with your hair like that! ;D

Looking gorgeous though!!!

Quote from: Cassi on February 26, 2018, 11:19:47 PM
Looking pretty good kiddo and nice brow job.

Thank you! I had forgotten I'd thinned them out since my last pics. It was accidental - I was plucking & cleaning up around them and just kept going.  :P

Quote from: Laurie on February 27, 2018, 12:39:24 AM
I hate to have to say it Sarah but I have to agree with Cassi. Looking good there girl.
Now remind me where Kansas is?

Hugs,
  Laurie

Thanks Laurie!! Kansas? Just follow the tornadoes.... And remember that the yellow brick road only leads OUT of Kansas.

Quote from: Roll on February 27, 2018, 08:21:00 AM
You really look like one of my aunts with your hair like that! ;D

Looking gorgeous though!!!

Thanks girl!!!  :D

Quote from: Sarah_P on February 27, 2018, 05:08:03 PM

Thanks Laurie!! Kansas? Just follow the tornadoes.... And remember that the yellow brick road only leads OUT of Kansas.

I may need a little more than that...

Quote from: Laurie on February 27, 2018, 09:51:55 PM
I may need a little more than that...

It's the one that no one ever seems to be in anymore.

Quote from: Roll on February 27, 2018, 10:56:31 PM
It's the one that no one ever seems to be in anymore.

That's the one! Also, watch out for flying monkeys. They're like flies around here.

The thing I think of about Kansas is how everyone suddenly picks up and moves, sometimes just across the street ...

.. ahem ..

this was just a blatant nothing post to let Sarah know that I read her thread too :)

It's where people constantly talk about chalk and fictional bird species constantly.  Especially if they never went to the school that uses this as a mascot.

'Tis a silly place...

Quote from: Colleen_definitely on February 28, 2018, 07:09:39 AM
It's where people constantly talk about chalk and fictional bird species constantly.  Especially if they never went to the school that uses this as a mascot.

'Tis a silly place...

Fictional?! There're jayhawks all over the place. What do you think the flying monkeys eat?  :laugh:

Quote from: Faith on February 28, 2018, 07:07:16 AM
this was just a blatant nothing post to let Sarah know that I read her thread too :)

Thanks for chiming in, Faith! It's always good to know you're all out there.

So I'm still waiting for my actual license to show up, but I went over to Social Security & got my name changed with them (now I'm waiting on that to come in the mail, too!). I almost couldn't, because apparently there's something wrong with the Kansas temporary licenses that makes them invalid as proper identification (just Kansas, every other state is supposedly OK....). I managed to scrounge up enough items to prove I was me (oddly, the note from my doctor was the key). Unfortunately, they can't change the gender they have listed without a corrected birth certificate. I ran over to the local department of health (I was in Missouri for this, anyway) and asked, and a very nice woman gave me some documents to fill out and a phone number to call to get the ball rolling on that. Didn't have a chance to call today, but I'll get that done tomorrow during lunch. At least my parents did one thing right - having me in Missouri (even though it was only 3 blocks in from the state line!).

Meanwhile, I have 2 shiny new debit cards with the correct name on them now, and today I got my first paycheck made out to Sarah. Squeee!!!!  Oh, I also got my very first piece of junk mail addressed to Sarah! I'm actually going to keep it as a memento.  :laugh:

I tried to get my records at the doctor's changed over, but I have to do that in person. I did manage to get a prescription for some emla cream, though. It's sitting here, waiting to be slathered on before my next electrocutioner session (Monday).

Wow Sarah (my former name lol) I'm so impressed!! Truly inspiring

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

   Busy Busy girl are you. One would think you are eager to do these little chores. Why I can't fathom...(Yawn) I have my name change form and they will be turned in probably next month when I return home. Well I suppose it could be this month but probably next sometime. Eh, who knows? I don't. It'll wait. I have my priorities. There a sqeeeee waiting for me in Florida and another in Kansas I think.
  Well girl enjoy your paperwork and don't forget the credit bureaus.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Quote from: Laurie on February 28, 2018, 09:54:35 PM
   Busy Busy girl are you. One would think you are eager to do these little chores. Why I can't fathom...(Yawn) I have my name change form and they will be turned in probably next month when I return home. Well I suppose it could be this month but probably next sometime. Eh, who knows? I don't. It'll wait. I have my priorities. There a sqeeeee waiting for me in Florida and another in Kansas I think.
  Well girl enjoy your paperwork and don't forget the credit bureaus.

Hugs,
   Laurie

« Reply #185 on: Today at 09:54:35 pm »
According to the above, you have or had less than 2 hours and 5 minutes till the end of the month.  Get krack'n!

Quote from: Faith on February 28, 2018, 07:07:16 AM
The thing I think of about Kansas is how everyone suddenly picks up and moves, sometimes just across the street ...

.. ahem ..

this was just a blatant nothing post to let Sarah know that I read her thread too :)

With or without a tornado?

Quote from: Cassi on February 28, 2018, 10:06:36 PM
« Reply #185 on: Today at 09:54:35 pm »
According to the above, you have or had less than 2 hours and 5 minutes till the end of the month.  Get krack'n!

Okay okay I meant April.

Quote from: Allison S on February 28, 2018, 09:05:04 PM
Wow Sarah (my former name lol) I'm so impressed!! Truly inspiring

Thank you! I don't know if I feel like I'm all that inspiring, but I'm happy and enjoying life! Mostly. There's always going to be bumps (thus my thread title....).

Quote from: Laurie on February 28, 2018, 10:34:46 PM
Okay okay I meant April.

Oh, so now you're a PRO-crastinator too :(

Quote from: Sarah_P on February 28, 2018, 11:03:03 PM
Thank you! I don't know if I feel like I'm all that inspiring, but I'm happy and enjoying life! Mostly. There's always going to be bumps (thus my thread title....).

Yes, yes bumpy road. I'm on the wagon too, I crashed literally and figuratively already and I'm no where near your accomplishments! Keep it up you deserve it [emoji4]

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

So I finally worked up the courage to send that letter to who I hope is my long-lost sister. Fingers crossed!

(https://i.imgur.com/5cxpouj.jpg)

I finally remembered to empty my car's trunk and get rid of all these ill-fitting rags I had back there. Should have done that weeks ago, but just kept forgetting. All went to charity, so hopefully some needy people get them.

Quote from: Sarah_P on March 03, 2018, 12:08:33 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/5cxpouj.jpg)

I finally remembered to empty my car's trunk and get rid of all these ill-fitting rags I had back there. Should have done that weeks ago, but just kept forgetting. All went to charity, so hopefully some needy people get them.

Wow, just this morning I took 7 tall kitchen bags full of man levi's, and suites to GoodWill.  They'd be sitting in the corner of my bedroom for close to a month now I think.

I didn't have nearly that many clothes, and I never owned any suits. I still have a jacket & heavy coat, but I didn't drop them off yet since I keep forgetting to wash them first.

So, as I mentioned before, I need my birth certificate changed before I can change my gender with social security. I called the records people in Missouri, and they say I need a court order to change the gender. Well, the judge at my name change hearing says that Kansas judges don't have the authority to issue those. I didn't need it anyway, for my driver's license. So now I have to figure out how to get that court order.

I've read through this thread (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,220110.msg2021217.html) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,220110.msg2021217.html)), and it looks like I'm going to have to hire a lawyer to get this done, which right now is beyond my means. If I can find a job in Kansas City ever I could actually move to the Missouri side, so then I would be a resident & could get the court order. If anyone else has any more advice, let me know! Please & thank you!

Beware Laurie is out there somewhere.....

There's nothing more dangerous then a Laurie on the loose!

Quote from: Sarah_P on March 04, 2018, 09:00:31 PM
There's nothing more dangerous then a Laurie on the loose!

Especially when she knows where you live....

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

Quote from: Laurie on March 04, 2018, 09:37:44 PM
Especially when she knows where you live....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1Y73sPHKxw (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1Y73sPHKxw)

(I have never gotten tired of this. I still laugh hysterically every time I see it).

Quote from: Sarah_P on March 03, 2018, 11:10:51 PMSo, as I mentioned before, I need my birth certificate changed before I can change my gender with social security.

Sarah, are you sure about this? Since it's the feds who handle SS, it should be the same in every state, and the birth certificate had nothing to do with it here in Florida.

Also, the records people are correct. They only issue name change orders, and they have nothing to do with gender.

Here's what I had to do, in order. Note that this is in Florida, so some things will be different.

1. Fill out and send in the paperwork requesting a name change for the court. I had help with this from a legal aid group that put on a free name change seminar.

2. Wait for paperwork to arrive to go get my fingerprints taken for the criminal background check, then go to a facility where they can be sent to the FBI electronically.

3. Wait for the court to contact me with a date for the hearing.

4. Create an account at the court's online portal, and represent myself as counsel. It was just a checkbox and a field to put your name into.

5. Upload any documents they request. If I recall, they needed a scan of my existing drivers license,  birth certificate, and social security card, and an affidavit of residency. I downloaded a free copy of the AOR from an online legal service (Rocket Legal?)

6. Attended the hearing, and got the order in-hand.

7. Got a letter from my endocrinologist stating that I'm undergoing appropriate clinical treatment for gender change.

8. Took that letter and the court order to a SS office, and had them make the change and issue a receipt I could use at the DMV.

9. Waited a few days so the information got into the system, then went to the DMV and got my new drivers license.

10. With all that in-hand, started the arduous process of changing everything that had my old name on it.

Note that I've done nothing at all with my birth certificate except send a copy of the old one to the court. It still isn't changed, and in fact, having been born in Michigan, I can't change the gender marker until I have GCS. I won't bother with the name until I can do that.

Again, I'm certain that SS doesn't need the birth certificate changed. Every state is different for their stuff, but SS is federal. I'd hit their website and double check that.


- Stephanie

Quote from: Steph2.0 on March 05, 2018, 02:11:15 AM
7. Got a letter from my endocrinologist stating that I'm undergoing appropriate clinical treatment for gender change.

8. Took that letter and the court order to a SS office, and had them make the change and issue a receipt I could use at the DMV.

Again, I'm certain that SS doesn't need the birth certificate changed. Every state is different for their stuff, but SS is federal. I'd hit their website and double check that.

See, there's the problem. You had a court order for the gender change, but Kansas doesn't and can't issue a court order for a gender change - I asked the Judge at the hearing and he said Kansas doesn't give it's Judges authority to do so (he had another trans person ask just a few weeks earlier). The DMV changed it on my license because of my letter from my doctor.

I can try going to a different SS office, but I'm sure it wasn't a case of bigotry (though I suppose it could be incompetence?). The guy was very nice & apologetic about it.

Quote from: Sarah_P on March 05, 2018, 07:27:36 AM
See, there's the problem. You had a court order for the gender change, but Kansas doesn't and can't issue a court order for a gender change - I asked the Judge at the hearing and he said Kansas doesn't give it's Judges authority to do so (he had another trans person ask just a few weeks earlier). The DMV changed it on my license because of my letter from my doctor.

I can try going to a different SS office, but I'm sure it wasn't a case of bigotry (though I suppose it could be incompetence?). The guy was very nice & apologetic about it.

I apologize, Sarah. I wasn't clear. My court order was only for the name change. Gender wasn't mentioned in it anywhere.  Judges don't have authority to do gender marker changes here, either. All that was required for gender change for social security was the doctor's letter plus the name change court order, and some kind of identification.

I think you're right, your local SSA guy didn't understand the process. Here it is, right from their website. Under Gender, you need to show only one of the choices:

https://faq.ssa.gov/link/portal/34011/34019/Article/2856/How-do-I-change-my-gender-on-Social-Security-s-records (https://faq.ssa.gov/link/portal/34011/34019/Article/2856/How-do-I-change-my-gender-on-Social-Security-s-records)

All I showed them were the name change court order, my existing drivers license (the old one), my doctor's letter, and for good measure, my old social security card, and it went off without a hitch. They were very nice and congratulated me on my way out.

I really hope that helps. I hope you'll find it's a lot easier than you think.

Good luck!

Stephanie

Quote from: Steph2.0 on March 05, 2018, 07:50:40 AM
I apologize, Sarah. I wasn't clear. My court order was only for the name change. Gender wasn't mentioned in it anywhere.  Judges don't have authority to do gender marker changes here, either. All that was required for gender change for social security was the doctor's letter plus the name change court order, and some kind of identification.

I think you're right, your local SSA guy didn't understand the process. Here it is, right from their website. Under Gender, you need to show only one of the choices:

https://faq.ssa.gov/link/portal/34011/34019/Article/2856/How-do-I-change-my-gender-on-Social-Security-s-records (https://faq.ssa.gov/link/portal/34011/34019/Article/2856/How-do-I-change-my-gender-on-Social-Security-s-records)

All I showed them were the name change court order, my existing drivers license (the old one), my doctor's letter, and for good measure, my old social security card, and it went off without a hitch. They were very nice and congratulated me on my way out.

I really hope that helps. I hope you'll find it's a lot easier than you think.

Good luck!

Stephanie

Well.... dang it. Sorry Stephanie, and thank you so much!! I'll have to hit up the SS office in Kansas City, which unfortunately will likely be a much longer wait than the one I went to.

That still leaves my bc and school records to be dealt with. Sigh.

Quote from: Steph2.0 on March 05, 2018, 02:11:15 AM
Sarah, are you sure about this? Since it's the feds who handle SS, it should be the same in every state, and the birth certificate had nothing to do with it here in Florida.

Also, the records people are correct. They only issue name change orders, and they have nothing to do with gender.

Here's what I had to do, in order. Note that this is in Florida, so some things will be different.

1. Fill out and send in the paperwork requesting a name change for the court. I had help with this from a legal aid group that put on a free name change seminar.

2. Wait for paperwork to arrive to go get my fingerprints taken for the criminal background check, then go to a facility where they can be sent to the FBI electronically.

3. Wait for the court to contact me with a date for the hearing.

4. Create an account at the court's online portal, and represent myself as counsel. It was just a checkbox and a field to put your name into.

5. Upload any documents they request. If I recall, they needed a scan of my existing drivers license,  birth certificate, and social security card, and an affidavit of residency. I downloaded a free copy of the AOR from an online legal service (Rocket Legal?)

6. Attended the hearing, and got the order in-hand.

7. Got a letter from my endocrinologist stating that I'm undergoing appropriate clinical treatment for gender change.

8. Took that letter and the court order to a SS office, and had them make the change and issue a receipt I could use at the DMV.

9. Waited a few days so the information got into the system, then went to the DMV and got my new drivers license.

10. With all that in-hand, started the arduous process of changing everything that had my old name on it.

Note that I've done nothing at all with my birth certificate except send a copy of the old one to the court. It still isn't changed, and in fact, having been born in Michigan, I can't change the gender marker until I have GCS. I won't bother with the name until I can do that.

Again, I'm certain that SS doesn't need the birth certificate changed. Every state is different for their stuff, but SS is federal. I'd hit their website and double check that.


- Stephanie

Wow that is quite a process we now have a very simple process thanks to a wonderful lady who challenged the government in court and won I hope to be meeting her this summer we now only need to have a letter from a health care provider stating it is their opinion we identify as our chosen gender and are living as such and sign an affidavit and send it to the government the name change can be done by mail as well oh yes and send money most important

     bobbisue :)

So as I posted in the happy thread, today was my first date in 20 years. It was with a lovely trans woman from the KC area. She drove all the way out to my little town & we had lunch, then we drove up to KC for some shopping. Which is something that hadn't occurred to me before about dating another woman - shopping as a fun date activity!!!  ;D

She's actually never been here on Susan's, but I told her about it, so maybe she'll stop by. We both had a great time! I think dating a trans woman as my first date really took a lot of the potential pressure off, even though I was nervous a few times. Like having my first kiss in 20 years.  :)

The only bad part of the day was that I was still fighting a cold or whatever it was that I thought I was over. As the day went on I started coughing more and more & could barely talk by the time she dropped me off.  :( Our kiss was rather brief, since I was worried about potentially coughing right into her mouth.  :icon_redface:

That's great news Sarah. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. It sounds like your date went well. Hope you ditch your cold soon.

Jayne

That is amazing news!! So happy for you! :D

And here I thought you were saving your first date for me.

Well heck, I might as well cross your visit off my road trip itenary since you are taken.

Tsk tsk

Congrats Sarah.

  I may have to try this date thing again if I can remember how it's done. I seem to remember it was fun.
   Hmmmm probably too old.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

Quote from: Sarah_P on March 11, 2018, 12:19:12 AM
So as I posted in the happy thread, today was my first date in 20 years. It was with a lovely trans woman from the KC area. She drove all the way out to my little town & we had lunch, then we drove up to KC for some shopping. Which is something that hadn't occurred to me before about dating another woman - shopping as a fun date activity!!!  ;D

She's actually never been here on Susan's, but I told her about it, so maybe she'll stop by. We both had a great time! I think dating a trans woman as my first date really took a lot of the potential pressure off, even though I was nervous a few times. Like having my first kiss in 20 years.  :)

The only bad part of the day was that I was still fighting a cold or whatever it was that I thought I was over. As the day went on I started coughing more and more & could barely talk by the time she dropped me off.  :( Our kiss was rather brief, since I was worried about potentially coughing right into her mouth.  :icon_redface:

Lovely to read, I'm glad it went well. It's almost Spring (in the 'proper' hemisphere [emoji23]), time for romance to bud! X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

I drove through your neck of the woods on Thursday but didn't have time to stop.  Lots of "emergencies" for work that really weren't.  I did wave though

Thanks gals!! Sadly my illness has come back full-force, and I can barely speak today, but it was worth it.

Quote from: Laurie on March 11, 2018, 03:00:05 AM
  I may have to try this date thing again if I can remember how it's done. I seem to remember it was fun.
   Hmmmm probably too old.

NO SUCH THING! You're never to old!! I won't stand for any of that nonsense young lady!

Quote from: Colleen_definitely on March 11, 2018, 10:06:14 AM
I drove through your neck of the woods on Thursday but didn't have time to stop.  Lots of "emergencies" for work that really weren't.  I did wave though

I thought I felt a disturbance in the Trans Force! (That actually sounds like an awesome action team name!)
You're always welcome to stop by, the library is pretty easy to find.  :)

I'll try to structure my next trip (likely soon with the buffoons I have to deal with at this particular site "wait you're supposed to replace air filters when they turn black?") to include some extra "travel" time. 

Quote from: Colleen_definitely on March 14, 2018, 09:18:36 PM
I'll try to structure my next trip (likely soon with the buffoons I have to deal with at this particular site "wait you're supposed to replace air filters when they turn black?") to include some extra "travel" time. 

Lol, I was really aghast when years ago I had to tell my boss that ac filters had to be changed at a minimum twice a year. I think when I told her that they hadn't been changed in 3 years or so.  :o

oh please, everyone knows that you only change filters for two reasons ..
1) no air movement
2) it got sucked into the unit.

Or 3) The cooling fans on your $250,000 spectrometer start howling from the dirt they've ingested since you took the filter off after it overheated due to a clogged filter.

I wish I was joking

I really do believe it. I've seen people completely block air vents on their PCs, and wonder why it stops working. Ignorance is not so blissful... or cheap.

Quote from: Sarah_P on March 15, 2018, 07:12:24 AM
Lol, I was really aghast when years ago I had to tell my boss that ac filters had to be changed at a minimum twice a year. I think when I told her that they hadn't been changed in 3 years or so.  :o

Yeah when I moved in with my dad and step mom... No filter had been changed in... ohhh, 14 years? Not just air filters. They always complained about their gross water, so I bought them a new fridge filter while at it for Christmas one year, now the water is fine and the ice doesn't have black specks in it. There is serious mold on the vents in my room that are too high for me to reach and take weird ulltra specific filters you have to special order, so I'm just sort of pretending it doesn't exist and that there isn't a yellow film covering the back half of the room. I'm moving soon, then not my problem. ;D

Quote from: Roll on March 15, 2018, 11:55:40 AM
Yeah when I moved in with my dad and step mom... No filter had been changed in... ohhh, 14 years? Not just air filters. They always complained about their gross water, so I bought them a new fridge filter while at it for Christmas one year, now the water is fine and the ice doesn't have black specks in it. There is serious mold on the vents in my room that are too high for me to reach and take weird ulltra specific filters you have to special order, so I'm just sort of pretending it doesn't exist and that there isn't a yellow film covering the back half of the room. I'm moving soon, then not my problem. ;D

After checking and cleaning the intake filter, I looked at the vent in my room and there wasn't any filter.  Not sure if they're suppose to have filters or not.

This is Vegas and if I leave the front door open, super micro dust comes in and it's not the regular dust we create from shedding.

I joined CostCo last month and they had 40 bottle packs of water on sale for $3.07 so I bought five (the limit).  Arrowhead water.  Funny thing about Arrowhead water is that it's originally from California and there's a well in the foothills of the San Bernardino Mountains next to a rec area called Twin Lakes.  That's where Arrowhead gets their water.  In Texas, it's call Ozark Mountain Water and has the same color scheme as Arrowhead.

Sorry got off topic.  Anyway, the one filter that I swear by is the Zero filter - totally awesome.

OK, so bit of a thing at work this morning. One of our library board members came to talk with the director, and as it turns out someone had sent an anonymous letter to the city about me & my employment with the library. Apparently the letter, while containing foul language and slurs, was not seen as a criminal threat, but the city manager decided it was worth alerting the police.

So we just had a meeting between me, the board member, the director, and a detective captain about it. They all wanted me to be aware that everyone - the city, the mayor, the police force, the library board - were all on my side and wanted me to be safe. The detective didn't seem to think it was likely to escalate, since in his own words 'this person is obviously a coward, and will continue to be a coward', but if I feel in any way threatened or uncomfortable with anyone's behavior (or if my property is vandalized or notes left) to call him immediately. Obviously if I'm more immediately threatened or in danger, to call 911.

I... I'm surprised it's taken this long for something to come up, considering how conservative this town is, but this outpouring of support just floors me. I'm trying my hardest not to burst into tears, but several are leaking through anyway. I feel so awful that I ever misjudged these people. I realize that those fears were born from my own doubts and self-loathing pre-transition, but even so I shouldn't have, and I definitely should have rid myself of them before now. I've said it before, but I can't imagine what I've ever done in my miserable life to deserve all the good people I find myself surrounded by, even the ones I can't always see at first.

OMG Sarah! I'm not sure how to respond. This is both wonderful and awful at the same time. It is wonderful that so many people have come to your support. Most people have lots of good in them. But the person that wrote the letter...... that must have made you feel awful to hear about that. What kind of person takes the time to write an anonymous hate letter about someone they don't even know? Hopefully it is nothing more than some cowardly words written while hiding in the shadows.

But so awesome that you have so many people watching your back.

Jayne

Sad that it happens.  Some people are not ignorant, they're stupid and will always have a lower IQ and blame others for their flaws and failures.

Just stay safe.

As much as I'm sad someone who, like Jayne said, probably doesn't even know me or even come to the library would be so ignorant and hateful to write those things and try to get me fired (side note, I don't know what was actually in the letter, the detective just gave me a general idea - he didn't even mention it being specifically for being trans), there's no way I can feel bad with all the people supporting me. It just proves that there are more good, decent people in this world than there are hateful people. Which is something I've known, but the hateful people are so loud sometimes I forget.

I don't know how anyone can compare the old me and the new me and not see how much happier and friendlier I am now. Of course, that's the problem for some of these people, isn't it? How dare someone be happy when they're miserable (usually of their own making).

What a great outlook you have. I too can see how much happier the new me is compared to the old me, even presenting and being treated as a guy all the time. I can't even imagine how much better I would feel if I could be me outwardly as well as in the inside.

I'm very happy for you.

Jayne

While it sucks that you have a fan writing love letters, the reaction from everyone up the food chain is absolutely AWESOME!

I also wanted to mention something else that was said after the detective left the meeting. I told the guy from the board that I was sorry, and I never wanted to cause any problems for them or the library. He looked me right in the eyes and said 'Sarah, YOU are not a problem. You've never been one, and you never will be. This cowardly person is the problem, and we're all here for you'. He then gave me a hug.

Every time I think about that I break into tears! It also leaves me rather torn - I really need a job where I make more money, and I really want to live in a city again, but it's going to be so hard to leave all these people who have been so caring and supportive.

Quote from: Sarah_P on March 18, 2018, 02:48:17 AM
I told the guy from the board that I was sorry, and I never wanted to cause any problems for them or the library.

Sarah, I don't know you well enough to do it myself, but saying things like that will earn you a slap from Laurie. You have nothing to be sorry for girl. You have not caused any problems, it's all the coward who wrote the letter. You are a great person, never be sorry for being you.

Jayne

Also, I can understand your dilemma about not wanting to leave these nice people and needing a better paying job. I'm certain whatever you decide to do, they will all support your decision.

Jayne

Quote from: Sarah_P on March 18, 2018, 02:48:17 AM
I also wanted to mention something else that was said after the detective left the meeting. I told the guy from the board that I was sorry, and I never wanted to cause any problems for them or the library. He looked me right in the eyes and said 'Sarah, YOU are not a problem. You've never been one, and you never will be. This cowardly person is the problem, and we're all here for you'. He then gave me a hug.

Every time I think about that I break into tears! It also leaves me rather torn - I really need a job where I make more money, and I really want to live in a city again, but it's going to be so hard to leave all these people who have been so caring and supportive.

Stories like this are what give me hope for this country and humanity in general. :)

Quote from: Jayne01 on March 18, 2018, 02:55:45 AM
Sarah, I don't know you well enough to do it myself, but saying things like that will earn you a slap from Laurie. You have nothing to be sorry for girl. You have not caused any problems, it's all the coward who wrote the letter. You are a great person, never be sorry for being you.

Jayne

Thank you so much Jayne. I probably do deserve a slap for thinking that.

Quote from: Roll on March 18, 2018, 07:37:08 AM
Stories like this are what give me hope for this country and humanity in general. :)

Doesn't it? Did I mention this guy is also a Minister?

Quote from: Sarah_P on March 18, 2018, 10:43:30 AM
Thank you so much Jayne. I probably do deserve a slap for thinking that.

Doesn't it? Did I mention this guy is also a Minister?

Did you know that one of the lead singers for Buffalo Springfield is a minster in Colorado?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp5JCrSXkJY

Hmm.... not much going on. Well, I've got another date with the same woman on Saturday.  :)

There was a great couple I was chatting with online, but the guy just got an amazing job offer halfway across the country, so they're scrambling to get packed and move, and there's no chance of us even meeting now. Sigh. Found another couple, but they just had a family tragedy a day after we started chatting, and won't be able to do anything for a while. Sigh.

I've had a lot of straight guys messaging me, and I almost met up with one nearby, but then a girl friend told me about the 2 times she got raped by guys on dating apps, so now I'm more than a little apprehensive.

I shouldn't complain, life is going pretty good at the moment otherwise. I've been really doing some thinking, and I'm pretty sure that 1 - I'm pansexual, not just bisexual, and 2- I'm polyamarous. I don't really have actual evidence of the later, but my desire to date a couple seems like a pretty big clue. I guess it's just not something I've thought about before (at least the labels, anyway - I just figured I'm kinky   :angel: .... which I am  >:-) ).

I just need to be patient, it'll all happen eventually.

No dates in 20 years and jumping right into polyamorism, impressive! ;D

Quote from: Roll on March 21, 2018, 10:46:11 PM
No dates in 20 years and jumping right into polyamorism, impressive! ;D

@ Elllie:   Hmmm, you and Sarah and others on here talking about dates and dating has brought up the fact that I have not updated everyone here about my report a couple of weeks ago about my Male Suitor... well, actually 2 Male Suitors now.   
As I have indicated in several of my past posts, due to my situation here in the small conservative town I live in, the opportunity for me to date again is both exciting and very frightening at the same time.  I have been out on 2 somewhat casual dates or outings with Guy #1 and so far the relationship has not progressed past holding hands, hugs and a quick kiss or two....  now all of a sudden there is a Guy #2 on the scene that is making moves on me and he is being quite aggressive and it is nerve-wracking to say the least
.
Guy#1 I met briefly at my local coffee shop and the next day he brought me coffee to my office, he is so very polite and somewhat shy too.   
Guy #2 I met at the local gym that I frequent with several of my cis women friends ....  he is kind of a jock, very well built, and somewhat full of himself.   I am not too enamored with him at this point.

The big issue for me is when to I tell any of these guys that I may get more serious about.... tell them about my transition....  I am just about at that point with Guy #1 .... It is only fair to him and the right thing for me to do when it does get more serious.   I am a nervous wreck about all of this attention.   
I will keep you all updated as this develops more.
Danielle

Sarah_P

   Now you listen here young lady, you just better be counting your blessings that I have been busy and missed your complaing and whining several days ago. Jayne is absolutely correct you did deserve a good slap or two followed by a warm hug.

  I'll have to think about this..... You may just get them yet. You might want ti check if the top of the fridge is clean too.
  I just don't know what to do about you girl.

Hugs (for now),
   Laurie

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

Quote from: Roll on March 21, 2018, 10:46:11 PM
No dates in 20 years and jumping right into polyamorism, impressive! ;D

It's still only theory at this point....

Quote from: Laurie on March 22, 2018, 01:57:17 AM
   Now you listen here young lady, you just better be counting your blessings that I have been busy and missed your complaing and whining several days ago. Jayne is absolutely correct you did deserve a good slap or two followed by a warm hug.

  I'll have to think about this..... You may just get them yet. You might want ti check if the top of the fridge is clean too.
  I just don't know what to do about you girl.

Hugs (for now),
   Laurie

Oh great, now I've been targeted by miss slap-happy! Wait.... I don't have my own fridge. I'm safe from that at least!  :D

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on March 22, 2018, 12:34:37 AM
@ Elllie:   Hmmm, you and Sarah and others on here talking about dates and dating has brought up the fact that I have not updated everyone here about my report a couple of weeks ago about my Male Suitor... well, actually 2 Male Suitors now.   

Yay you! I'd have to agree, drop #2 and stick with #1. Confidence is one thing, but arrogance & aggressiveness just don't appeal to me in the slightest. Hopefully #1 takes the news well, or at least won't out you to the entire town. Good luck!  :)

#2 wouldn't last long for me, I can't stand that sort of personality personally.



So Sarah, making up for lost time are we?  ;D

Hi Danielle,

I'll throw my 2¢ in.  I agree - get rid of #2.  He sounds like a shallow quick sex kind of person.

Quote from: Colleen_definitely on March 22, 2018, 08:02:45 AM
So Sarah, making up for lost time are we?  ;D

Trying to anyway!  ;D

Quote from: Sarah_P on March 22, 2018, 10:20:12 AM
Trying to anyway!  ;D

Just wanted to point out just how amazingly confidant you've become just in the past few months! Makes me want to go full time immediately. :D

Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Quote from: Sarah_P on March 22, 2018, 08:01:00 AM
Yay you! I'd have to agree, drop #2 and stick with #1. Confidence is one thing, but arrogance & aggressiveness just don't appeal to me in the slightest. Hopefully #1 takes the news well, or at least won't out you to the entire town. Good luck!  :)

@ Sarah: Oh yeah, that is my thought too....   Guy #1 is on the top of my list of 2 male suitors.   Yes, for sure, the big issue is being outed to the entire town, it would take less than a day for it to be common knowledge... and the concern I have is how it would affect my business and my personal relationship here where everyone here only knows me as the woman named Danielle... including my personal friends and cis-women that I frequent the local gym with.

OH, my oh my....  your new Avatar-profile picture is terrific,,,,,   I love your dress and your hair, you look great!!!
Danielle

Quote from: Roll on March 22, 2018, 10:46:57 AM
Just wanted to point out just how amazingly confidant you've become just in the past few months! Makes me want to go full time immediately. :D

I'm not 100% sure where it comes from, and I don't always feel that way. The (mostly) positive reactions I've had are a big factor. Maybe it's the warmer weather?  :D

I think I've also broken through most of my internal barriers I erected over the years when it comes to talking about sex. I've had some frank discussions about it with a couple girl friends, and even a guy friend of mine that's rather open about it. Actually, we'd probably be friends with benefits if I was his type - he's into big girls and I'm not planning on putting on weight anytime soon.

I imagine when I finally get down to the act itself, that I'll be pretty nervous still.

Quote from: Cassi on March 22, 2018, 11:46:09 AM
Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

:icon_crazy:

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on March 22, 2018, 11:59:22 AM

@ Sarah: Oh yeah, that is my thought too....   Guy #1 is on the top of my list of 2 male suitors.   Yes, for sure, the big issue is being outed to the entire town, it would take less than a day for it to be common knowledge... and the concern I have is how it would affect my business and my personal relationship here where everyone here only knows me as the woman named Danielle... including my personal friends and cis-women that I frequent the local gym with.

OH, my oh my....  your new Avatar-profile picture is terrific,,,,,   I love your dress and your hair, you look great!!!
Danielle

Aww, thank you! Yours are always great! This is the first time I got to wear this blouse. The weather got cold again for a week or so, but now it's warming up (hopefully to stay!). My warmer weather clothes collection is much larger & more fun than my cold weather stuff. I wasn't sure about my hair since I woke up late and didn't get a chance to do much with it this morning.

I totally understand your concerns, being in such a small town, and especially owning your own business! Like I said, I hope it goes well, you shouldn't be forced to deny yourself a romantic life because of some people's potential misconceptions.

(https://i.imgur.com/mENCfDB.jpg)

Went to see Pacific Rim Uprising tonight with a guy friend. IT WAS SOOOOOO GOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, It far exceeded my expectations. I seriously love the first movie, but willingly admit it's faults (the story's just there as an excuse for giant monster / robot fights, and Charlie Hunnam could have been replaced by a Mr. Potato Head and been just as charismatic). This one's story was far far better, and still had amazing action. And everyone in it was fantastic! John Boyega was great as the lead!

It's even better if you get the references. Unfortunately for most, you have to be a big fan of robot anime to get them. There were several times my friend & I were laughing and the rest of the theater was just staring at us.

Also....
I LOVE CHARLIE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   :-*

I swear to god every time you post a picture you just look more amazing and its only a few days later. ...................... I SUSPECT WITCHCRAFT!

Quote from: Roll on March 23, 2018, 11:10:57 PM
I swear to god every time you post a picture you just look more amazing and its only a few days later. ...................... I SUSPECT WITCHCRAFT!

Notice she's always doing the good stuff at night?  VAMPIRE!

SSSSHHH!!! Now everyone's going to want some of my magic potions. You know how hard it is to sand unicorn horns for powder? Are YOU going to go pluck out some newt's eyes?  ;D

Quote from: Sarah_P on March 24, 2018, 12:34:32 AM
Are YOU going to go pluck out some newt's eyes?  ;D

Yes, but for unrelated reasons. Those reasons shall remain undisclosed.

Quote from: Sarah_P on March 23, 2018, 11:07:19 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/mENCfDB.jpg)

Went to see Pacific Rim Uprising tonight with a guy friend. IT WAS SOOOOOO GOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, It far exceeded my expectations. I seriously love the first movie, but willingly admit it's faults (the story's just there as an excuse for giant monster / robot fights, and Charlie Hunnam could have been replaced by a Mr. Potato Head and been just as charismatic). This one's story was far far better, and still had amazing action. And everyone in it was fantastic! John Boyega was great as the lead!

It's even better if you get the references. Unfortunately for most, you have to be a big fan of robot anime to get them. There were several times my friend & I were laughing and the rest of the theater was just staring at us.

Also....
I LOVE CHARLIE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   :-*

@ Sarah:  How in the world did I miss this terrific picture of you yesterday? ???

I agree with what Roll stated:  "I swear to god every time you post a picture you just look more amazing and its only a few days later."

Hugs,
Danielle

Danielle, how did I miss your male suitors update?! #1 sounds like potential #2 is there for a reason. I mean he probably suspects you won't be on the market for long and took his shot anyway.

Freaky Sarah! I'm a bit surprised lol
Your friend's advice is good

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on March 24, 2018, 04:40:57 PM
@ Sarah:  How in the world did I miss this terrific picture of you yesterday? ???

I agree with what Roll stated:  "I swear to god every time you post a picture you just look more amazing and its only a few days later."

Hugs,
Danielle

I hide pictures of me all over Susan's Place. It's like an easter egg hunt that satiates my own ego (or lack thereof).   ;D

Thanks hun! Thanks to all you great gals and some comments from local friends, I'm actually starting to believe I look good. Don't worry, I won't let it go to my head. My head's already full of awesome, and there's not much room for more up there.  ;D

Quote from: Allison S on March 24, 2018, 05:55:47 PM
Danielle, how did I miss your male suitors update?! #1 sounds like potential #2 is there for a reason. I mean he probably suspects you won't be on the market for long and took his shot anyway.

Freaky Sarah! I'm a bit surprised lol
Your friend's advice is good

Hi Allison! Welcome to my silly little thread.

Quote from: Sarah_P on March 24, 2018, 11:36:10 PM
Hi Allison! Welcome to my silly little thread.

Thanks, happy to be here :) glad things are going well for you!

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

Have you got the top of the fridge cleanef off girl? I am heading in your direction. I know how to find you noe....

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

Oh I see how it is

Look out, Colleen!  She means bidness!

The badgers and I are still trying to figure out how to get down from here safely.  Fortunately the cabinet behind me contains our emergency food and bottled water supply.  I suspect she knew that when she plotted her escape, stashing us up here for safekeeping until she returns.

Badgers?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gx6TBrfCW54&feature=youtu.be&t=15

Quote from: Laurie on March 29, 2018, 12:09:20 PM
Have you got the top of the fridge cleanef off girl? I am heading in your direction. I know how to find you noe....

I DON'T HAVE A FRIDGE!!! What horrific fate shall befall poor Sarah? What will she do? THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE!!!


.....

Sorry, I'm functioning on very little sleep (  :angel: ), then spent about 5 hours hauling books around and setting up a booksale, so I'm a bit goofier than normal right now.

.... Which now that I think about it should be moderately terrifying.

Quote from: Sarah_P on March 29, 2018, 05:27:01 PM
I DON'T HAVE A FRIDGE!!! What horrific fate shall befall poor Sarah? What will she do? THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE!!!

I heard the water heater is the next step.

.....

Sorry, I'm functioning on very little sleep (  :angel: ), then spent about 5 hours hauling books around and setting up a booksale, so I'm a bit goofier than normal right now.

.... Which now that I think about it should be moderately terrifying.

Today I found someone wandering aimlessly around. Since she looked so lost, I decided to help her out by dragging her off to dinner & talking her ear off for hours.  ;D

(https://i.imgur.com/EV4LI98.jpg)

We had a great time! I'm here to tell everyone LAURIE IS REAL!! She is certainly not a hologram, and I detected no sophisticated electronics or animatronics involved.
After meeting me in my little town, we wandered off to a slightly larger town in search of somewhat higher-quality foodstuffs. Decided on a delightful little Italian place that I love. We didn't take pictures of our food. I don't do that, and Laurie only photos the food she makes herself.  ;)

(https://i.imgur.com/IShi4ck.jpg)

Please ignore my horribly wind-ruined hair...

Oh, I also avoided any slapping AND vertical relocation onto ANY kitchen or household appliance or fixture!

Awwwwwwwwww, love that photo, two of my absolute favorite people at once!

I agree, what a lovely photo of two awesome people.

Sarah, have you ever taken a photo without that big smile? You always look so happy.

Jayne

Quote from: Roll on April 01, 2018, 05:01:20 PM
Awwwwwwwwww, love that photo, two of my absolute favorite people at once!

Those people in the background? Yeah, they were pretty cool.  ;D

Quote from: Jayne01 on April 01, 2018, 08:00:11 PM
I agree, what a lovely photo of two awesome people.

Sarah, have you ever taken a photo without that big smile? You always look so happy.

Jayne

Not many! I don't take pics when I'm not happy. The big smile ones always look better than the closed smile ones. A few of those look like I'm smiling like I'm about to murder someone.

Quote from: Sarah_P on April 01, 2018, 10:56:26 PM
A few of those look like I'm smiling like I'm about to murder someone.

Oh please show us one of those smiles. It's for safety reasons in case you are in a murderous mood we know what to look out for. [emoji16]

Seriously, it is a pleasure seeing your big smile. You project so much happiness.

Jayne

So a few of you already heard some of this, but...

I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!!!!

(https://i.imgur.com/6cPEJfx.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/NQkcKzz.jpg)

Her name's Alexa, and she is awesome. We share so many common interests, mostly of the nerdy variety. In fact, it was our mutual love for the series Babylon 5 that caused OK Cupid to match us.  ;D She's also funny & amazingly fun to be around.

I got to see her one night last week, and we hit it off instantly (if you thought 2 fangirls gushing over Babylon 5 for hours couldn't lead to a relationship, you're quite mistaken!). I got to spend the day with her yesterday. I was going to a different trans group meeting than the ones I've gone to before, and it turns out she's in that group, too. Odd second date? Well, it was a lot of fun (there were also a couple meals and shopping thrown in there - including me helping her pick out new glasses - not pictured). I also knew 2 others in that same group, which was one of the main reasons I was going to begin with. Alexa being involved was a wonderfully happy coincidence.

The pictures above were taken at lunch together at Da Bronx (an amazingly good New York style pizza place!). The day went so well we both decided that we're officially girlfriends now!

And here's us together.  :D :D :D
(https://i.imgur.com/eJObYUH.jpg)

I think I keep saying this, but it keeps being more & more true - I am happier than I've ever been in my entire life.

Quote from: Sarah_P on April 04, 2018, 05:37:54 PM
So a few of you already heard some of this, but...

I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!!!!

(https://i.imgur.com/6cPEJfx.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/NQkcKzz.jpg)

Her name's Alexa, and she is awesome. We share so many common interests, mostly of the nerdy variety. In fact, it was our mutual love for the series Babylon 5 that caused OK Cupid to match us.  ;D She's also funny & amazingly fun to be around.

I got to see her one night last week, and we hit it off instantly (if you thought 2 fangirls gushing over Babylon 5 for hours couldn't lead to a relationship, you're quite mistaken!). I got to spend the day with her yesterday. I was going to a different trans group meeting than the ones I've gone to before, and it turns out she's in that group, too. Odd second date? Well, it was a lot of fun (there were also a couple meals and shopping thrown in there - including me helping her pick out new glasses - not pictured). I also knew 2 others in that same group, which was one of the main reasons I was going to begin with. Alexa being involved was a wonderfully happy coincidence.

The pictures above were taken at lunch together at Da Bronx (an amazingly good New York style pizza place!). The day went so well we both decided that we're officially girlfriends now!

And here's us together.  :D :D :D
(https://i.imgur.com/eJObYUH.jpg)

I think I keep saying this, but it keeps being more & more true - I am happier than I've ever been in my entire life.

It must be springtime! Congratulations Sarah, that's so cool! You're both smiling so wide I'm afraid your faces will crack!

But really, you went outside Susan's for a girlfriend? That's bucking tradition, ya know!

Stephanie

Congratulations! Sarah and Alexa.

Sarah, you deserve all the happiness you can get. I am very happy for you that your life is getting better with each day. Cherish every moment. Life is a special gift.

Jayne

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

(as I run off into the distance.)

Quote from: Roll on April 04, 2018, 08:15:48 PM

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

(as I run off into the distance.)

Girl, do you realize there are children in Asia who have no E's at all? And you're just wasting them. Sheesh...

Lttr Polic (ran out of e's)

Quote from: Steph2.0 on April 04, 2018, 07:15:59 PM
It must be springtime! Congratulations Sarah, that's so cool! You're both smiling so wide I'm afraid your faces will crack!

But really, you went outside Susan's for a girlfriend? That's bucking tradition, ya know!

Stephanie

Thanks Steph! I know! What would you know who(s) say?

Quote from: Jayne01 on April 04, 2018, 07:46:38 PM
Congratulations! Sarah and Alexa.

Sarah, you deserve all the happiness you can get. I am very happy for you that your life is getting better with each day. Cherish every moment. Life is a special gift.

Jayne

Thank you Jayne! Yes, it is. I still remember a time when I considered life a curse, but I don't really remember why I would think such a thing anymore.

Quote from: Roll on April 04, 2018, 08:15:48 PM

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

(as I run off into the distance.)

BREATHE GIRL, BREATHE!!! You'll over-squee yourself!!  :D

Quote from: Sarah_P on April 04, 2018, 09:10:42 PM
BREATHE GIRL, BREATHE!!! You'll over-squee yourself!!  :D

She seems awfully squeeeemish.


- Stephanie

Quote from: Steph2.0 on April 04, 2018, 09:18:50 PM
She seems awfully squeeeemish.


- Stephanie

She'll make herself squeasy.

Quote from: Sarah_P on April 04, 2018, 09:22:42 PM
She'll make herself squeasy.

Time for some I squeeem with chocolate syrup.


- Stephanie

squee();


private void squee() {
  if (sarah_has_girlfriend) {
    System.out.print("Squ")
    while (sarah_has_girlfriend) {
      System.out.print("e");
    }
  }
}


Well well well Sarah has a girlfriend.

Glad to hear it is official Sarah and Alexa. Congrats

Hugs,
   Laurie

Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk

Sarah,  hugs and happiness for you and Alexa! X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

Wow!  Congratulations!

I'm thinking there must be something in the electrons here...

Megan, Laurie, Michelle, thank you all!   :D

Quote from: Roll on April 04, 2018, 10:11:20 PM
squee();

Code Select Expand


private void squee() {
  if (sarah_has_girlfriend) {
    System.out.print("Squ")
    while (sarah_has_girlfriend) {
      System.out.print("e");
    }
  }
}


:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
You should work for Squeenix.  ;D

Hey I know Alexa!  We did voice training together.

Talk about a small world.  Congrats!

Quote from: Colleen_definitely on April 05, 2018, 07:56:49 AM
Hey I know Alexa!  We did voice training together.

Talk about a small world.  Congrats!

Thanks! I wondered if you might.

I'm still amazed at how few trans people I meet in KC who have heard of Susan's. I guess TTI is enough for most (though too expensive for me!).

Quote from: Sarah_P on April 05, 2018, 12:59:28 PM
Thanks! I wondered if you might.

I'm still amazed at how few trans people I meet in KC who have heard of Susan's. I guess TTI is enough for most (though too expensive for me!).

What is TTI?

Aw happy for you Sarah! You've come such a long way it's amazing

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

Quote from: Roll on April 05, 2018, 07:41:41 PM
What is TTI?

The transgender institute, a therapist in Kansas City.

Quote from: Allison S on April 05, 2018, 09:25:40 PM
Aw happy for you Sarah! You've come such a long way it's amazing

Thanks Allison! I'm continually amazed, myself.  :)

Spent the weekend with my Girlfriend. (I LOVE SAYING THAT!!!) Have I mentioned I'm in love?  :icon_joy:
Alexa & I are now a couple on Facebook.  :D That makes it truly official, right? :P

Anyway, Sunday was cold and snowing. SNOWING IN APRIL. Sigh.....  Anyway, I've successfully lured her cat Nigel to the dark side. Or am I the light side? .... eh, either way.  :D

(https://i.imgur.com/AtY9wJO.jpg)

Then Alexa joined us. Nigel was not amused.
(https://i.imgur.com/HV8kPbH.jpg)

I swear, that cat is the most loving animal I've ever met. He's just so happy to have someone pet him. My hand however is covered in scratches. He loves to grab your hand and guide it to where he wants to be petted.  :-\

My tiny sweet cat that I lost about two years ago did that, it was the most precious thing. Hurt like crazy though. ;D (Also, as I lost weight I realized I have extensive cat scratch scarring. So that's funny. :P)

And I am so happy you are so happy!!!!!!!! ;D It really warms my heart. Watching you (and everyone that welcomed me so warmly way back when now as well :D) blossom has been such an amazing source of inspiration for me!!

Quote from: Roll on April 10, 2018, 10:39:44 PM
My tiny sweet cat that I lost about two years ago did that, it was the most precious thing. Hurt like crazy though. ;D (Also, as I lost weight I realized I have extensive cat scratch scarring. So that's funny. :P)

And I am so happy you are so happy!!!!!!!! ;D It really warms my heart. Watching you (and everyone that welcomed me so warmly way back when now as well :D) blossom has been such an amazing source of inspiration for me!!

I've never met a cat before that did that! Living with 2 mostly aloof cats for 16 years has made me forget how wonderful a real lap cat can be.

And thank you!

Quote from: Sarah_P on April 10, 2018, 10:16:55 PM
Spent the weekend with my Girlfriend. (I LOVE SAYING THAT!!!) Have I mentioned I'm in love?  :icon_joy:
Alexa & I are now a couple on Facebook.  :D That makes it truly official, right? :P

Anyway, Sunday was cold and snowing. SNOWING IN APRIL. Sigh.....  Anyway, I've successfully lured her cat Nigel to the dark side. Or am I the light side? .... eh, either way.  :D

(https://i.imgur.com/AtY9wJO.jpg)

Then Alexa joined us. Nigel was not amused.
(https://i.imgur.com/HV8kPbH.jpg)

I swear, that cat is the most loving animal I've ever met. He's just so happy to have someone pet him. My hand however is covered in scratches. He loves to grab your hand and guide it to where he wants to be petted.  :-\

Congrats this makes me feel all warm and fuzzy love is awesome I'm so happy for you

     Bobbisue :)

Quote from: bobbisue on April 10, 2018, 11:42:11 PM
Congrats this makes me feel all warm and fuzzy love is awesome I'm so happy for you

     Bobbisue :)

Thanks Bobbisue! I've never felt anything like this before, and I was really surprised it happened so quickly. It hurts so much living 100 miles apart. At least we get weekends together. I have got to find a job and get moved.

Wow, been a while since I've posted on my own thread.  :P

Overall things have been great, except for getting turned down for yet another library job (plus several IT jobs that just sent a rejection email). If it weren't for Alexa I think I'd have sunk deep into depression again. I'm (mostly) OK now, though I'll feel better when I see her again tomorrow night.

I'm probably just going to have to look for some crappy job to get by until I can find something better.

I finally got an email back from my sister!! She was happy to hear from me, but I get the feeling she isn't 100% behind my transition news. She basically said she's happy that I've found what makes me happy, and that's OK with me. This is the first time we've spoken in 20 years and all.

I'm also going to try to contact my aunt who lives in Missouri. I've got her number, just haven't called yet.

Oh, and I finally started selling my stuff on e-bay. Well, posting it. Haven't sold anything yet, but we'll see.

Sorry the job search is going the way it is. :/ Glad you have Alexa to keep positive!!!

Hope it goes well with your aunt! I'm also glad your sister seems to be at supportive!

But yeah, I'm about to start really listing my big ticket stuff on ebay too. I'm dreading dealing with it but... its do or die time, and I need the money to live off with putting so much into transplants.

Hi Sarah,
I'm sorry you are having difficulties with the job hunting. Don't lose hope, keep looking. There is a job out there somewhere with your name on it.

Good news with your sister. It has been a long time since you have last spoken. She responded by accepting you and happy for you. Hopefully you will now get the chance to become closer as sisters. I hope it goes well with your aunt too.

Good luck selling your stuff! I hope you get lots of money. [emoji846]

Jayne

Thanks gals! I'm definitely feeling better today. I'll keep looking on the job front. I'm sure I'll find something, just need to expand my searching I think.

Quote from: Roll on April 19, 2018, 05:08:36 PM
But yeah, I'm about to start really listing my big ticket stuff on ebay too. I'm dreading dealing with it but... its do or die time, and I need the money to live off with putting so much into transplants.

My biggest ticket stuff will be the hardest things to part with, but potentially giving me all the money I might need to move and start savings for GCS. I've got several sketches by famous Japanese artists that I might end up selling (especially since one is signed to my deadname - which also makes it harder to sell). There's a couple I can't sell, because I promised the artist I wouldn't. I've also got some original animation cels for a few series that might go over moderately well.

Hi Sarah,

I've been on the run so long that I'm way behind on everyone's threads. I'm so happy for you and Alexa, though I have to admit that when I first saw you mention her, I thought you were having a weird affair with an Amazon Echo.

Don't worry about the job. You're beautiful and talented, and someone will finally see past the acronyms on the resumé and hire the person behind it.

Good luck on selling your stuff. I need to get going on that kind of thing, too. Need to pay for hair transplants.

I haven't seen Ashley for a while, so I'll  say this for her: Onward we go, dear sister!


- Stephanie

Thanks Steph! Believe me, I've made a few Alexa jokes with her. They usually result in a death glare and/or punch in the arm. Or worse, but I won't mention that here. >:-)

I know I'll find a job eventually, it's just disappointing.

Sometime soon I'll be helping my mom with a garage sale, and in addition to selling a few things of my own, she's giving me 10% Of the sales for helping. That'll help with funds, too.

Ashley? She probably got lost in the bikini section of some big store. :D

Quote from: Sarah_P on April 21, 2018, 10:54:49 AMAshley? She probably got lost in the bikini section of some big store. :D

Or burned to a crisp from all those binoculars trained on her on the beach.



- Stephanie

So I had sent a return e-mail to my sister, and she hasn't replied. I mentioned my new relationship status & gave her my facebook info to friend me. I was on facebook at the time the friend request went through, but a few seconds later when I clicked accept, it said it was no longer valid.
I'm wondering if this is just a glitch, or if she looked at my profile and cancelled the friend request because she doesn't want HER friends seeing my LGBT+ status? The fact that I haven't had a response to the email is somewhat telling, though.

Hopefully contacting my aunt turns out better.

Quote from: Sarah_P on April 24, 2018, 05:23:35 PM
So I had sent a return e-mail to my sister, and she hasn't replied. I mentioned my new relationship status & gave her my facebook info to friend me. I was on facebook at the time the friend request went through, but a few seconds later when I clicked accept, it said it was no longer valid.
I'm wondering if this is just a glitch, or if she looked at my profile and cancelled the friend request because she doesn't want HER friends seeing my LGBT+ status? The fact that I haven't had a response to the email is somewhat telling, though.

Hopefully contacting my aunt turns out better.

Maybe she just needs more time to process it? I wouldn't give up hope yet!

Quote from: Roll on April 24, 2018, 09:15:41 PM
Maybe she just needs more time to process it? I wouldn't give up hope yet!

I suppose so. I'm not sure how much of a big deal it is to me anymore. Like I've said, my blood family is less family to me than my step-family, as well as all my dear friends (in person and here!). I'm not feeling down about it at all, really, it was just a 'wouldn't it be cool if..' kind of thing.

  Your big sister (me) can't wait to give you another hug Sarah. Most of my sisters don't talk to me anymore so I'm free to adopt. Jessica did and I suspect many others have also. You have lots of sisters girl.
  I almost can't believe we talked for that long. I enjoyed every minute of it.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Sorry your sister is not responding to you. Maybe it is just a matter of needing more time to process.
I can be your sister from Aussie land! You have lots of friends and adopted family here.

Jayne

Thanks gals! I'm happy to have so many awesome sisters.  :D

Quote from: Sarah_P on April 25, 2018, 06:39:34 AM
Thanks gals! I'm happy to have so many awesome sisters.  :D

I shouldn't be your sister because it makes my impure thoughts weird even for me.  <3 >:-)  :-* ;D

Quote from: Roll on April 25, 2018, 08:41:42 AM
I shouldn't be your sister because it makes my impure thoughts weird even for me.  <3 >:-)  :-* ;D

;D  I actually thought that myself.... <3 :icon_nosebleed:

Quote from: Sarah_P on April 24, 2018, 05:23:35 PM
So I had sent a return e-mail to my sister, and she hasn't replied. I mentioned my new relationship status & gave her my facebook info to friend me. I was on facebook at the time the friend request went through, but a few seconds later when I clicked accept, it said it was no longer valid.
I'm wondering if this is just a glitch, or if she looked at my profile and cancelled the friend request because she doesn't want HER friends seeing my LGBT+ status? The fact that I haven't had a response to the email is somewhat telling, though.

Hopefully contacting my aunt turns out better.

@Sarah_P ...  I am so very sorry to hear about all of that with your sister... your family and perhaps your sister's friends too....
You have made the decision that you feel is the right one for YOUR own life and I can personally testify that there will be those that knew your old male self that will not easily accept you.  I have my share of heartaches over that as well.
You don't have to read too deeply in my "...Danielle's Chronicles" thread to see that I am have most of the same issues.
It is devastating to have those that you were so close to, and even related to, to reject you and break off contact.

But as you stated you have new friends here that support you....  we are your adopted family.
I enjoy reading your updates, seeing your pictures, 
...and I am always looking for you to post new replies on your thread.
Hugs, and wishing your well,
Danielle

WARNING: RANT INCOMING!

So. Yeah. As of tomorrow morning I put in my 2 week notice at work. I'm fed up with this. Ever since I mentioned to my boss that I had a girlfriend, she's been riding me hard, complaining about every little thing I do. She just got back from her vacation today, and immediately handed me an official letter stating I was no longer allowed to use library computers for non-library business. This is in response to a facebook post I made during business hours. Yeah, most places that would be an issue I suppose, but I spend 95% of my day doing NOTHING. I have to stay at my desk until someone needs something, so now I'm just staring at a wall all day. That post took all of 10 seconds to make (on my
phone!). She complains when I don't do things that require me to be away from the desk, but also complains about me not being at the desk while I'm doing those things. She apparently completely ignored everything I did while she was gone. I handled all sorts of issues, helped tons of people, and gave up part of my own lunch time one day so others wouldn't be late to their own lunches. She used to be like this all the time, a completely hypocritical vindictive b***. She got better after several employees left (retire, quit, and passed away), but she's been slowly sliding back to her old habits. I will not continue to work in that environment, where I'm literally the only one who is singled out, despite everyone else doing brief personal stuff during work hours.

The plan: I'm moving in with Alexa. Most of my stuff will go into storage, and it'll be a bit cramped until her lease is up in September and we find a bigger place (which she was going to do anyway). I'll find a basic job, preferably at a marginally decent company. Maybe a checker at Target. It feels like I'm starting over as far as my working life goes, but that actually seems fitting, since I'm starting my life over anyway. Meanwhile I'll work on a degree or certificate for IT. Not sure my web development is going anywhere anyway.

I'll probably have some time after I move to really get more stuff posted on ebay (which is going fairly well so far!).

Now to find someone with a truck...

Dear Sarah....  I read your self titled post... "WARNING: RANT INCOMING!" ... and I can surely testify that it was indeed a rant and when reading I could obviously tell that you are very upset over your stated work issues and issues with your boss.   

I will be looking for your next update, perhaps tonight (I see that you are still online and logged in) or maybe tomorrow morning.   
Let the dust settle, sleep on it tonight.... the sun will rise tomorrow morning and the earth will still be turning... so maybe tomorrow will be a better day and you can clearly think about your next moves.

May I offer some free and unsolicited advice??   Never quit a job until you have another one lined up.   You will be much more attractive to a future employer if you still have a job and are working.....  

Please read my reply and may calmer heads prevail.... 
I will be looking for your next posting.
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle

Quote from: Sarah_P on May 02, 2018, 11:25:35 PM
WARNING: RANT INCOMING!

So. Yeah. As of tomorrow morning I put in my 2 week notice at work. I'm fed up with this. Ever since I mentioned to my boss that I had a girlfriend, she's been riding me hard, complaining about every little thing I do. She just got back from her vacation today, and immediately handed me an official letter stating I was no longer allowed to use library computers for non-library business. This is in response to a facebook post I made during business hours. Yeah, most places that would be an issue I suppose, but I spend 95% of my day doing NOTHING. I have to stay at my desk until someone needs something, so now I'm just staring at a wall all day. That post took all of 10 seconds to make (on my
phone!). She complains when I don't do things that require me to be away from the desk, but also complains about me not being at the desk while I'm doing those things. She apparently completely ignored everything I did while she was gone. I handled all sorts of issues, helped tons of people, and gave up part of my own lunch time one day so others wouldn't be late to their own lunches. She used to be like this all the time, a completely hypocritical vindictive b***. She got better after several employees left (retire, quit, and passed away), but she's been slowly sliding back to her old habits. I will not continue to work in that environment, where I'm literally the only one who is singled out, despite everyone else doing brief personal stuff during work hours.

The plan: I'm moving in with Alexa. Most of my stuff will go into storage, and it'll be a bit cramped until her lease is up in September and we find a bigger place (which she was going to do anyway). I'll find a basic job, preferably at a marginally decent company. Maybe a checker at Target. It feels like I'm starting over as far as my working life goes, but that actually seems fitting, since I'm starting my life over anyway. Meanwhile I'll work on a degree or certificate for IT. Not sure my web development is going anywhere anyway.

I'll probably have some time after I move to really get more stuff posted on ebay (which is going fairly well so far!).

Now to find someone with a truck...

Sarah, I am sorry your work environment has deteriorated to a place where you felt that you need to quit. I thought the people you worked with were always really nice to you and you enjoyed working there?

You have a good positive attitude. This is an opportunity for you to make new beginnings for your new life. I hope many great opportunities come you way with your career. At least you will get to see Alexa all the time now.

Sorry, I can't help you with a truck. Even if I still had my truck, the steering wheel is on the wrong side. [emoji846]

Jayne

EDIT: Danielle posted her reply as I was typing mine. I must have misread what you said about leaving your job. I thought you had already handed in your notice to leave. Allow me to reiterate what Danielle said about waiting for your mind to settle down before making any major decisions. If this job has no future, try to hang in there until you have another job lined up. Get some rest and clear your mind.

  Calm down girl. I will agree working in a hostile environment is no fun, but I have to agree with that @Alaskan Danielle. I will look better if you were going from one job to another while still employed. Look for that temp job near Alexa if you need to but get a job lined up then leave Mrs Hostile. You can stick it out that long. I do have a pickup truck but It could take some time to get there. You'll likely need one sooner.

Hang in there girl.

Hugs,
   Laurie

I appreciate it everyone, but it's already done. I didn't want to have to do this, I know it's better to not be unemployed, but I'm certain part of the reason I'm not being hired is the time it would take for me to get moved. Either they don't want to wait or don't think I can move as quickly as I claim I can.

Over the last 8 months I've applied for over 70 jobs. Only 3 have bothered with interviews, and of course none want to actually hire me. As I said, I'm lowering my expectations and finding whatever job I can find.

Quote from: Sarah_P on May 03, 2018, 07:40:06 AM
I appreciate it everyone, but it's already done. I didn't want to have to do this, I know it's better to not be unemployed, but I'm certain part of the reason I'm not being hired is the time it would take for me to get moved. Either they don't want to wait or don't think I can move as quickly as I claim I can.

Over the last 8 months I've applied for over 70 jobs. Only 3 have bothered with interviews, and of course none want to actually hire me. As I said, I'm lowering my expectations and finding whatever job I can find.

Sarah:  I am so sad to hear that you are having these difficulties.  Continue to be persistent and keep applying for jobs...  but I have a "word" for you....  "Never Lower Your Expectations"  .... and of course, for now, find whatever job that you can.   

In my past experiences I have worked at a several companies... the first really good paying job I was able to get was going well for about a year, the money and my position was great, but the company went broke and I was out of my high paying job... and I still had house payments, car payments, etc....  I immediately looked for work and found a much lower paying and less prestigious job, but it was a job nevertheless, even though the money was not as much as I needed, the income did offset most of my important expenses....
... then through contacts and friends on that job I was able to find a newer better and higher paying job that ended up being the best job I ever had working for any company.   

Moral of my story...  never give up, keep your expectations high, never quit a job without having another one in the works, then if you have to, get any job that you can to offset expenses while earnestly trying to find a better job.

Again Sarah... I am so sorry to hear of your difficulties.   Please stay positive... when people approach a positive person they can sense it.... positive people with positive attitudes do attract positive results.

Please keep us updated... 
Hugs and more hugs, and wishing you well.
Danielle

Thanks Danielle, but I'm absolutely positive. I feel fantastic, in fact. Once I finally get moved I think I'll feel like a heavy chain finally snapped and set me free.

Quote from: Sarah_P on May 03, 2018, 11:34:50 AM
Thanks Danielle, but I'm absolutely positive. I feel fantastic, in fact. Once I finally get moved I think I'll feel like a heavy chain finally snapped and set me free.

Sarah:  It appears from what you have written that you feel very confident, and that is good. 
I trust that everything works out for you as you have planned.   
It is always a joy to read your regular updates and to see your pictures when you feel comfortable posting them.

I will be looking for those updates of yours!!!

Hugs, and well wishes,
Danielle

Quote from: Sarah_P on May 02, 2018, 11:25:35 PM
WARNING: RANT INCOMING!

So. Yeah. As of tomorrow morning I put in my 2 week notice at work. I'm fed up with this. Ever since I mentioned to my boss that I had a girlfriend, she's been riding me hard, complaining about every little thing I do. She just got back from her vacation today, and immediately handed me an official letter stating I was no longer allowed to use library computers for non-library business. This is in response to a facebook post I made during business hours. Yeah, most places that would be an issue I suppose, but I spend 95% of my day doing NOTHING. I have to stay at my desk until someone needs something, so now I'm just staring at a wall all day. That post took all of 10 seconds to make (on my
phone!). She complains when I don't do things that require me to be away from the desk, but also complains about me not being at the desk while I'm doing those things. She apparently completely ignored everything I did while she was gone. I handled all sorts of issues, helped tons of people, and gave up part of my own lunch time one day so others wouldn't be late to their own lunches. She used to be like this all the time, a completely hypocritical vindictive b***. She got better after several employees left (retire, quit, and passed away), but she's been slowly sliding back to her old habits. I will not continue to work in that environment, where I'm literally the only one who is singled out, despite everyone else doing brief personal stuff during work hours.

The plan: I'm moving in with Alexa. Most of my stuff will go into storage, and it'll be a bit cramped until her lease is up in September and we find a bigger place (which she was going to do anyway). I'll find a basic job, preferably at a marginally decent company. Maybe a checker at Target. It feels like I'm starting over as far as my working life goes, but that actually seems fitting, since I'm starting my life over anyway. Meanwhile I'll work on a degree or certificate for IT. Not sure my web development is going anywhere anyway.

I'll probably have some time after I move to really get more stuff posted on ebay (which is going fairly well so far!).

Now to find someone with a truck...

Wow, I had a boss just like that. What completr witches they were/are... I think that's a good plan. You tried and put up with it, but at some point it gets too tiring. I know how that goes. I left my job last week and I'm at the same point as you right now.
Feels good to finally start fresh [emoji4] I may move also. Isn't it fun!

Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk

You have a great attitude Sarah. You have been wanting to break free from your current surroundings for a long time. This is your opportunity for a fresh start. I'm sure with your positive outlook, you will do great. Sending you my best wishes for your new life.

Keep the updates coming.

Hugs,
Jayne

That reminds me, I've got a pile of pictures to post at some point. Maybe tomorrow.....

Quote from: Sarah_P on May 03, 2018, 11:40:37 PM
That reminds me, I've got a pile of pictures to post at some point. Maybe tomorrow.....

Tomorrow is now today! Pictures! <3 ;D

Quote from: Roll on May 04, 2018, 11:56:27 AM
Tomorrow is now today! Pictures! <3 ;D

...or it didn't happen!

waiting !!

Geez... such impatient people. Fine....

(https://i.imgur.com/2Kg1zGR.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/JXmvcNd.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/RZwEnHK.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/ljcCL1L.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/y3ohYey.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/iONy5f2.jpg)  (https://i.imgur.com/REEOeBr.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/GPt6LJr.jpg)

And my sexy (former) librarian look...
(https://i.imgur.com/maf913c.jpg)  (https://i.imgur.com/RtqpxDE.jpg)
^ That's also the first time I wore a skirt to work.

And of course the lovely Alexa!
(https://i.imgur.com/VusMjPh.jpg)

And us together at Infinity War. My selfie camera sucks.
(https://i.imgur.com/xtIqhHG.jpg)

Since she works for AMC corporate, we got to go to a special corporate screening of the movie, complete with drinks and snacks (like some absolutely amazing catered doughnuts!). I also completely forgot to take a picture of them (I needed someone else to do it, since it was both hands), but for the movie I painted my nails the colors of the infinity stones. Since I only have 5 fingers, I painted all the nails on the other hand the 6th color. I love being a nerd.

Worth the wait, looking good girl and like the first blouse

 Nice pictures girlfriend. Is that first top in an XL?  Dratz I knew it wasn't... I was going to have you send it to me.

@davina61 you leave my top alone...

Hugs,
  Laurie

Quote from: davina61 on May 04, 2018, 02:48:37 PM
Worth the wait, looking good girl and like the first blouse

Quote from: Laurie on May 04, 2018, 03:16:40 PM
Nice pictures girlfriend. Is that first top in an XL?  Dratz I knew it wasn't... I was going to have you send it to me.

@davina61 you leave my top alone...

Hugs,
  Laurie

Lol, thanks. Everyone loves that blouse, even one of my guy friends. It's what I wore the very first time I went out dressed in public, so I've got a special attachment to it. So...... HANDS OFF!! 😁

Quote from: Sarah_P on May 04, 2018, 03:43:49 PM
Lol, thanks. Everyone loves that blouse, even one of my guy friends. It's what I wore the very first time I went out dressed in public, so I've got a special attachment to it. So...... HANDS OFF!! 😁

  But I thought you loved me. Does this mean you aren't going to send it to me?

Quote from: Laurie on May 04, 2018, 03:51:11 PM
  But I thought you loved me. Does this mean you aren't going to send it to me?

Of course I love you! But no, it's all mine. Besides, it's an L.

Sarah:  I trust that today has been a good day for you,
with or without  @Laurie  loaning her truck to you. ;)

Very nice new Avatar profile picture and your other pictures that you just posted are just beautiful...   You Look Fabulous Darling!!!!
I love all of your different necklaces that you are wearing too.
Wishing you all the best, and Hugs too !
Danielle 

TOOOOOOOOO ADOOOOOOOOOOOOORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Looking good there Sarah! I like the top you are wearing in the first pictures and I really like the necklaces you are wearable with that top. I think I might be an L size. Any chance I could borrow it? [emoji12]

Quote from: Sarah_P on May 04, 2018, 02:44:08 PM
.... but for the movie I painted my nails the colors of the infinity stones. Since I only have 5 fingers, I painted all the nails on the other hand the 6th color. I love being a nerd.

You only have 5 fingers on each hand? That's inconvenient. A 6th finger would have come in handy for your nail paint scheme. I'm glad you found an alternative method to cover the 6 stone colours. My wife and I watched Infinity War on Wednesday. We loved it. Actually, we love all the Marvel movies. Can't wait till next year to see how it finishes. I'm glad there are some other Marvel movies coming out between now and then to keep us going.

Jayne

Thanks Everyone! 😸
Up in kc today, about to go look at storage spaces. Brought a car load of my dvd/blu ray/game collection.
This has all worked out well timing wise. My mom is wanting to have a garage sale next weekend, so I can sell a bunch of stuff I won't be needing anymore, plus she's giving me a percentage of her sales for helping! I'm gonna be getting more exercise in the next week than I've had in a long time....

So on other fronts (so to speak), the girls are still growing, but so slowly.... at least righty has mostly caught up with lefty. I'm seeing the doctor again in July, and I'm going to ask her for 2 things, switch from pills to patch, and to start progesterone. I want to speed things up a bit. Or hopefully a lot.

Electrolysis is going great, she's really getting all those dark hairs cleared off. In fact, last Monday Alexa & I we're going to dinner, and I realized I had forgotten to put on makeup until we were on the road. She said there was some redness (had a session that morning), but it didn't look like hair shadow. Sure enough, nobody gave me any odd looks or misgendered me at all. I'm still more confident with at least some foundation, but it's good to know I can get away with no makeup if I need to!! Clearing all the white hairs will still take forever, though. Plus we need to start on downstairs eventually.🤤

What little chest hair I had has completely stopped growing. My legs are doing better, too, with some epilated assistance. The crotch and pits are still pretty bad, though.

Also, since I'm moving to Missouri,  I can get that court order to get my birth certificate changed 😁.

Quote from: Sarah_P on May 05, 2018, 04:31:07 PM
Also, since I'm moving to Missouri,  I can get that court order to get my birth certificate changed 😁.

Hey I am all for you getting that court order but you will be moving further away and out of my normal route in an out of Missouri. I could change routes I suppose ,but, driving through Nebraska is so boring. Nothing but miles and miles of corn...

Quote from: Laurie on May 05, 2018, 04:44:39 PM
Hey I am all for you getting that court order but you will be moving further away and out of my normal route in an out of Missouri. I could change routes I suppose ,but, driving through Nebraska is so boring. Nothing but miles and miles of corn...

It'll only make you more corny. 😁 Just come in to / leave KC on I70!

Going out and not having to wear any makeup is so nice.. I'm slowly getting there hopefully the shadow will finally go away. If not, I'll be get zapped as much as needed and just have to deal with the puffiness for a few, usually 3, days after.
I'm just a few months behind you on hrt and I can really relate with your timeline. Well "everyone's different" yes but seems like a lot of similar things happen closer to the 1 year mark. Which is great!

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

Quote from: Allison S on May 06, 2018, 08:57:35 AM
Going out and not having to wear any makeup is so nice.. I'm slowly getting there hopefully the shadow will finally go away. If not, I'll be get zapped as much as needed and just have to deal with the puffiness for a few, usually 3, days after.
I'm just a few months behind you on hrt and I can really relate with your timeline. Well "everyone's different" yes but seems like a lot of similar things happen closer to the 1 year mark. Which is great!

Not having to wear makeup is kinda like what I felt when I stopped wearing breast forms, or when I stopped wearing a wig. Another piece of the puzzle that is the true me just clicked together!

After electrolysis I'm very puffy and very red. The puffiness goes away in a few hours, but the red can last a week or more. Last month I had red bumps all over my neck for 2 weeks. Thankfully that didn't happen this time.

So cool Sarah!! Yes, "true me" is so worth feeling. Red bumps sounds just as bad as the puffiness I get! Good thing it didn't happen. It's actually kinda neat over the months to see things coming together, hair growing, facial jair/shadow ceasing, facial/body changes.. most of all comfort in myself. Slowly I realize it's possible..

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

Ok, garage sale done. And I am so sore.... my mom's on some new meds and she couldn't help much Friday, and was MIA all day Saturday. Plus my dad is useless, so I set up and ran the entire sale myself. Good news I sold a lot of stuff, made about $140. Should be getting another $40 next Friday, a guy I know wants to buy my old drafting/crafting table (I used it to build and paint anime models!). Didn't sell the bed, but we're having another sale in a month after my dad finally moves out. Thankfully they have room to store what didn't sell for now.

Got my storage space, which I claim on Wednesday. Then the hauling begins. Wish I could afford a uhaul truck or had a hitch on my car,. So I'll be making extra trips in my car. Got a friend helping move larger stuff in his truck next Saturday, but I don't know if he'd be willing to make the trip twice. We'll see.

Not sure exactly when I'll be officially moved in  (ie, when the cat gets moved). Definitely within the next week

So.... my dad. This is the first time we've spoken since my coming out, and the first time he's seen Sarah (Though I was hardly looking all that fabulous). Never once did he ask how I was doing, if this was working out for me, or how I was feeling. In fact, the first thing he asked was to fix his tv(he'd somehow activated the store demo mode). My mom also mentioned that before I came over, she was making sure he understood that I was Sarah, not -deadname-, and that I was his daughter. He basically said that he wanted a son, and that's what I'd always be to him. Sigh. Don't worry, it doesn't make me sad, I have no emotional attachment to him anyway. Hes always lived in his own little selfish world, so that's where he can stay. I didn't tell him about Alexa, or that I was moving. After he moves out, I'll probably never see him again. Good riddance.

Thankfully my mom is moving to the kc area soon, so well still see each other often. Also, my BFF and her family may be moving there soon, too!

Sarah:  Nice to see your latest update and all the things you are trying to get done.

Oh, yeah, garage sales are a good way to make a little extra money for things that you do not need or want any longer....   As you know, it is a lot of work however... there are times that when I have had less than successful garage sales and considering all of my time that it required and the pitiful amount of money that I got, I sometimes thought it would have just been more expedient to take it all to the dump and/or Goodwill and be done with it.

Ahhhhh, storage places..... just be careful that you don't spend hard earned money on a storage unit to store stuff that should have been taken to the dump....   I see it happen a lot, where some folks can no longer afford the monthly charges for the storage unit, then surrender it to the owner and then all that is found in there is mostly junk...  On television I had sometimes watched "Storage Wars" .... very interesting  and eye-opening for sure.

I imagine that you can hardly wait to get moved in to your new place.... exciting and rewarding times for sure.  It will be nice for you to do the little things there in your new place... to make it YOUR HOME.

So sad to hear your situation and issues with your dad....  he is your dad however so deal with it however you feel it is best...
I can identify with much of what you stated about your dad.  I have been transitioning for over 4 years, and 3+ years of HRT, and living full-time for over a year and a half.... and my dad will still not recognize the new me, nor does he even utter more than a few words to me even when I call him on the phone specifically....  it is usually a very brief and one-sided conversation.   My mom, however just last Christmas when I called her on the phone finally called me Danielle for the very first time....  she has not stated that she accepts me as a trans-woman but I do think that she may be coming around.  That too, unfortunately was a guarded and brief conversation...  I am planning to call her today to wish her Happy Mother's Day and to tell her that I love her and appreciate her.  ....  after all, she is my mother and deserves my respect for that.

Please keep your updates up to date.......  I am always interested in how you are dealing with your transition.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on May 13, 2018, 12:12:00 PM
Sarah: 
So sad to hear your situation and issues with your dad....  he is your dad however so deal with it however you feel it is best...
I can identify with much of what you stated about your dad.  I have been transitioning for over 4 years, and 3+ years of HRT, and living full-time for over a year and a half.... and my dad will still not recognize the new me, nor does he even utter more than a few words to me even when I call him on the phone specifically....  it is usually a very brief and one-sided conversation.   My mom, however just last Christmas when I called her on the phone finally called me Danielle for the very first time....  she has not stated that she accepts me as a trans-woman but I do think that she may be coming around.  That too, unfortunately was a guarded and brief conversation...  I am planning to call her today to wish her Happy Mother's Day and to tell her that I love her and appreciate her.  ....  after all, she is my mother and deserves my respect for that.

Please keep your updates up to date.......  I am always interested in how you are dealing with your transition.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Yeah Dad issues can be tough; my relationship with my Dad was always strained; he served in the Marines (recon), so it was kind of like growing up in boot camp, so when I actually went to boot camp it was super easy, so I guess that's a positive, but I always resented him for being so tough on me; so it really surprised me how easily he accepted that I am trans.

Hi Sarah!

Mega-congratulations on your move!! Those recent pictures you posted, by the way, are simply fantastic! I will be reading this from now on. I am a little late to the party lol.


xoxoxo
Alyssa

Hi Sarah, congratulations on your move and starting a new life in a new home. I hope the cat likes the new place [emoji16]

Moving home is a good opportunity to sort through your stuff and decide what is worth keeping, selling or throwing/giving away.

Sorry to hear about the situation with your dad. You haven't had a close relationship with him in the past, but he is still your dad. It must be hard for you. (((Hug)))

Take care.

Jayne

Quote from: Sarah_P on May 13, 2018, 11:47:29 AM
(I used it to build and paint anime models!).

Ah, beautiful nerdy girls are the best. <3 ;D

Also sorry to hear about how it is with your dad, but honestly... I wouldn't give up hope. There may come a time where he realizes without you around that he values you just for being you, and not because of your gender or his views on it. Family can be weird that way. I talk about my dad a lot in mostly positive context of late, but the truth is that there was a whole lot of distance between us for many, many years after my parents' divorce. When situations change, priorities change, and people realize what truly matters.

Quote from: MissyMay2.0 on May 13, 2018, 12:25:36 PM
Yeah Dad issues can be tough; my relationship with my Dad was always strained; he served in the Marines (recon), so it was kind of like growing up in boot camp, so when I actually went to boot camp it was super easy, so I guess that's a positive, but I always resented him for being so tough on me; so it really surprised me how easily he accepted that I am trans.

Quote from: Alyssa Bree on May 13, 2018, 12:55:49 PM
Hi Sarah!

Mega-congratulations on your move!! Those recent pictures you posted, by the way, are simply fantastic! I will be reading this from now on. I am a little late to the party lol.


xoxoxo
Alyssa

Hello to you both! Thanks for stopping by my little corner. I really should post more. I also feel bad I haven't been keeping up with everyone else here, or chiming in with the newer members. Just not a lot of time these days! Hopefully things will settle down relatively soon.

Thank you everyone, but my transness is only one item in the pile of issues I have with my dad. I wasn't kidding when I called him selfish. Literally everything he has done in his life was for himself. He has no problems borrowing money from friends or family and then laughing when they want him to pay them back. In fact, when I was a teenager and saving money for my first PC (my 386! With 30mb of RAM!), he took all the money out of my bank account so he could buy something for himself. I never knew about this until a few years ago when my mom told me. She found out about it not long after it happened and replaced my savings from her own. And this is my STEP-mother! We'd only even known each other a couple years at this point. This is one of the many reasons why I consider her my true mother (not trying to murder me is a big bonus in my book, too).

He's permanently crippled himself by not doing what the doctors all told him after his knee surgery. He's absolutely convinced that he's the only one who knows anything, and everyone else are idiots. It's also because the physical therapy hurt. So instead of working through that pain and being able to move around normally, he's in regular pain and it takes him five minutes just to stand up with his walker, and can only shuffle around. Both my mom and I tried for years to convince him to listen and do what he was told, but no go.

He makes more money in retirement than I made at a full-time job, but he's always broke because he buys magazines, junk food, and pay-per-view movies (and who knows how much junk from publishers clearinghouse). He doesn't pay his bills - including rent, which then leaves it up to my mom to cover it so they're not evicted.

He's only getting worse as he gets older, too. He's still not legally incompetent, but he really should be. The worst thing about all this is he's been pulled my mom down with him, draining all her savings and ruining her credit, too. He's also intentionally (though he feigns otherwise) worked to sabotage her efforts to get a new degree and start her own career. Thankfully the divorce is happening soon, and she'll be free of him.

These are only a few examples. I could go on for a loooong time about the things he's done. I don't even think he even knows he's this way, or that there's something very wrong with it. He won't listen to others. Only thing to do is to cut yourself off from him.

Quote from: Sarah_P on May 13, 2018, 04:00:57 PM
Thank you everyone, but my transness is only one item in the pile of issues I have with my dad. I wasn't kidding when I called him selfish. Literally everything he has done in his life was for himself. He has no problems borrowing money from friends or family and then laughing when they want him to pay them back. In fact, when I was a teenager and saving money for my first PC (my 386! With 30mb of RAM!), he took all the money out of my bank account so he could buy something for himself. I never knew about this until a few years ago when my mom told me. She found out about it not long after it happened and replaced my savings from her own. And this is my STEP-mother! We'd only even known each other a couple years at this point. This is one of the many reasons why I consider her my true mother (not trying to murder me is a big bonus in my book, too).

He's permanently crippled himself by not doing what the doctors all told him after his knee surgery. He's absolutely convinced that he's the only one who knows anything, and everyone else are idiots. It's also because the physical therapy hurt. So instead of working through that pain and being able to move around normally, he's in regular pain and it takes him five minutes just to stand up with his walker, and can only shuffle around. Both my mom and I tried for years to convince him to listen and do what he was told, but no go.

He makes more money in retirement than I made at a full-time job, but he's always broke because he buys magazines, junk food, and pay-per-view movies (and who knows how much junk from publishers clearinghouse). He doesn't pay his bills - including rent, which then leaves it up to my mom to cover it so they're not evicted.

He's only getting worse as he gets older, too. He's still not legally incompetent, but he really should be. The worst thing about all this is he's been pulled my mom down with him, draining all her savings and ruining her credit, too. He's also intentionally (though he feigns otherwise) worked to sabotage her efforts to get a new degree and start her own career. Thankfully the divorce is happening soon, and she'll be free of him.

These are only a few examples. I could go on for a loooong time about the things he's done. I don't even think he even knows he's this way, or that there's something very wrong with it. He won't listen to others. Only thing to do is to cut yourself off from him.

I don't know how to respond to that. All I can say is I am sorry and offer you a hug.

((((HUG)))))

Jayne

On a brighter note, got another email from my sister! Turns out she's been travelling a lot for work and just didn't have time to get back to me. She told our eldest sister about me, and she was apparently happy for me too! Yay! Need to email them both.

Quote from: Sarah_P on May 13, 2018, 11:55:40 PM
On a brighter note, got another email from my sister! Turns out she's been travelling a lot for work and just didn't have time to get back to me. She told our eldest sister about me, and she was apparently happy for me too! Yay! Need to email them both.

That's great news! She probably also needed some time to process the news. It would have taken some time for things to really sink in.
Do your sisters live nearby to visit in person?

Jayne

Quote from: Jayne01 on May 14, 2018, 12:09:10 AM
That's great news! She probably also needed some time to process the news. It would have taken some time for things to really sink in.
Do your sisters live nearby to visit in person?

Jayne

Sadly no. Arizona and San Diego.

Quote from: Sarah_P on May 13, 2018, 11:55:40 PM
On a brighter note, got another email from my sister! Turns out she's been travelling a lot for work and just didn't have time to get back to me. She told our eldest sister about me, and she was apparently happy for me too! Yay! Need to email them both.

It's very nice to have your sisters' support! My oldest sister accepted me from the beginning, albeit there was some reluctance at first; and my younger sister shunned me for several years, but my oldest sister and I had a very close relationship growing up since we are the first born and she is only about a year and a half older than me; and my younger sister is 7 years younger.

That's so awesome Sarah! Hooray for support...and love...and kindness.


xoxoxo
Alyssa

Whew... OK, I am officially completely moved. Actually I have been for over a week, but getting everything (somewhat) organized and figuring out the whole living together thing took a while (as did the  celebration!). Still have a few items to take to storage. I'm officially out of Fort Scott Kansas and officially into Lee's Summit Missouri. I still need to do a lot of official things, like get a new drivers license, bank (my previous bank has no branch up here), and car registration. Hopefully getting that done this week.

I've got a job interview with another library on June 4th, so got my fingers crossed for that. Reasonably good pay for it, too (at least much higher than I made in Fort Scott!). We've also got KC Pride coming up on the 1-3 (We're going on the 2nd), which from what I hear isn't all that exciting, but I'm sure I'll enjoy anyway.

Last week we met 3 of Alexa's friends at a place down on the riverfront called Pawn & Pint, which is pretty awesome - it's a board game cafe, and they've got a HUGE selection of games, or you can bring your own! Looking forward to more of that. I love board & card games (the fun card games - not poker or that nonsense). I think we're also planning on going to Worlds of Fun (really big amusement park) at some point this summer.

One thing I keep forgetting to do is more selfies, and pictures of the two of us. I'm bad at remembering that. Actually, I'm bad at remembering anything... I'll definitely take pictures at Pride though.

My cat Cougar (or as it's spelled properly, Kuuga) is adjusting slowly. He's gotten used to the apartment for the most part, but isn't happy about Nigel (Alexa's cat). He hisses at poor Nigel all the time, and Nigel just ignores him completely. Until he got in Nigel's face and got a whap to the nose (deservedly so). The hissing has calmed somewhat, so I'm hopping he'll become at least tolerant if not friends eventually. He's started adjusting to Alexa, too - even let her pet him the other day.

There is however, sad news. My other cat, Kina, is gone. Multiple reasons, but primarily she was suffering from kidney failure, and there's no recovering from that. I didn't have the money or means to properly care for her, and the vet said the chance for adoption at her age (16) and condition was nil. She was never more than tolerant of me, and never seemed very happy. I wish I had found a better home for her when she was young, but I was sure she'd come around eventually. She also liked to chew on wires, which would have been very bad for Alexa since she often works from home (and it's highly unlikely we could have hidden all her wires so they'd be safe). Even though she spent most of the time hissing at him, I know Cougar misses her, too. I truly wish I could have been a better kitty parent too her, but sometimes there's just nothing you can do.  :'(

RIP Kina Patton 2002-2018

(https://i.imgur.com/o3F4jQm.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/JlJQXMr.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/HGoB9o5.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/TZAGICa.jpg)

She loved her boxes.

Quote from: Sarah_P on May 27, 2018, 03:21:32 PM
Whew... OK, I am officially completely moved. Actually I have been for over a week, but getting everything (somewhat) organized and figuring out the whole living together thing took a while (as did the  celebration!). Still have a few items to take to storage. I'm officially out of Fort Scott Kansas and officially into Lee's Summit Missouri. I still need to do a lot of official things, like get a new drivers license, bank (my previous bank has no branch up here), and car registration. Hopefully getting that done this week.

I've got a job interview with another library on June 4th, so got my fingers crossed for that. Reasonably good pay for it, too (at least much higher than I made in Fort Scott!). We've also got KC Pride coming up on the 1-3 (We're going on the 2nd), which from what I hear isn't all that exciting, but I'm sure I'll enjoy anyway.

Last week we met 3 of Alexa's friends at a place down on the riverfront called Pawn & Pint, which is pretty awesome - it's a board game cafe, and they've got a HUGE selection of games, or you can bring your own! Looking forward to more of that. I love board & card games (the fun card games - not poker or that nonsense). I think we're also planning on going to Worlds of Fun (really big amusement park) at some point this summer.

One thing I keep forgetting to do is more selfies, and pictures of the two of us. I'm bad at remembering that. Actually, I'm bad at remembering anything... I'll definitely take pictures at Pride though.

My cat Cougar (or as it's spelled properly, Kuuga) is adjusting slowly. He's gotten used to the apartment for the most part, but isn't happy about Nigel (Alexa's cat). He hisses at poor Nigel all the time, and Nigel just ignores him completely. Until he got in Nigel's face and got a whap to the nose (deservedly so). The hissing has calmed somewhat, so I'm hopping he'll become at least tolerant if not friends eventually. He's started adjusting to Alexa, too - even let her pet him the other day.

There is however, sad news. My other cat, Kina, is gone. Multiple reasons, but primarily she was suffering from kidney failure, and there's no recovering from that. I didn't have the money or means to properly care for her, and the vet said the chance for adoption at her age (16) and condition was nil. She was never more than tolerant of me, and never seemed very happy. I wish I had found a better home for her when she was young, but I was sure she'd come around eventually. She also liked to chew on wires, which would have been very bad for Alexa since she often works from home (and it's highly unlikely we could have hidden all her wires so they'd be safe). Even though she spent most of the time hissing at him, I know Cougar misses her, too. I truly wish I could have been a better kitty parent too her, but sometimes there's just nothing you can do.  :'(

RIP Kina Patton 2002-2018

She loved her boxes.

Hi Sarah,

Glad to see the move went well and you are starting to settle in. Hopefully Kuuga and Nigel can become friends. Sorry to hear about Kina. It's hard when a loved pet goes, even if all she managed was to tolerate you. They each have their own personalities and become a family member.

Good luck with the job interview on 4th June. I've got my fingers crossed for you too.

The board game cafe sounds like fun. I don't even know if we have such a place here. I need to get out more...[emoji23]

Also. Enjoy the KC Pride. And pictures please. You know the rule, pictures or it didn't happen.... that might be @KathyLauren's rule, but it has been adopted by all.

Thanks for your update.

Hugs,
Jayne

Sorry to hear about your kitty. :/ I've been struggling with dealing with my remaining cat of late and thinking about moving in the coming months.

Thanks Jayne. I'm hoping to get out a lot more now. There's tons to do now that I'm back to civilization. Btw, love your new pic!

Ellie - Thanks. It was a tough choice to make. I tried to find someone to take her, but no one could. Plus she wouldn't have adapted to someone new at her age. When I was looking for apartments for myself, I wasn't sure I'dbe able to keep either cat. Most apartments allow them, but the fees are usually absurd. Im glad i still have Kuuga, thanks to Alexa.

Actually, I should mention that she was with me when we took Kina in. If she hadn't been there for me I would have been a complete mess and incapable of driving Kuuga up that day.

Quote from: Sarah_P on May 28, 2018, 09:02:57 AM
Btw, love your new pic!

Thank you...

Woohoo!!! #KCPride18! (Kansas City Pride 2018, for the hashtag-deficient).

(https://i.imgur.com/NVO1f6M.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/th8UTV8.jpg)

I got photo-bombed by TGI!  :D  FYI, my hair's not shorter - I had it tied back because it was too hot otherwise!

(https://i.imgur.com/3DZqA9a.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/xghOcPA.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/yHH6LDh.jpg)

We ran into our friend Diane, who was seriously into it! Plus a pink dinosaur!

(https://i.imgur.com/VCgNoW0.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/DsViqkC.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/0Bbycao.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/88IeoD9.jpg)

Some shots of the fair. For some reason I didn't get shots of all the tents for dealers. Most of them didn't want pictures taken, anyway. Should have taken more in general. Probably would have, but Alexa forgot her phone!  :o  BTW, the whole thing was much bigger than my photos make it look. It was just stretched out along a road, and not spread out in a square or anything.

(https://i.imgur.com/IV4ZHTm.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/pt2nJue.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/SFWVUWS.jpg)

We decided to get in on the whole flag thing. I got my smaller trans and pan flags, and Alexa got the big trans flag (btw, I need to pay more attention to the background when I take pictures of people.... sorry, Alexa!). I was wearing my flags from the back, tucked through my belt for most of the fair.  8)

It was a lot of fun, and there were so many awesome people there. I was so happy to see lots of trans folks (of all varieties) there, too! Many wearing the flag like capes. There was one family with a teenage trans son with 'The scary trans person the media's warned you about... is my son!' t-shirts. I had to go up to them and thank them for being such wonderful and supportive parents.

Other than that, tons of people selling some awesome stuff. I almost bought the rainbow angel wings. There was a leather dealer with tons of fun custom made stuff ( >:-) ), but it was too expensive for us. Maybe when I get a job (fingers crossed!). There were two tables that would glitter you for free, but we didn't partake, since I know how invasive it is. We'd be finding glitter everywhere for a month or more. There was also a carnival, which we walked through but didn't partake of. I don't trust mobile carnival rides, and the food is pretty bad compared to what else was available. Of course most of the food all over there was over-priced, especially this one huge stand (completely absurd prices like $12 for a smoked sausage!).

If Alexa wasn't working today we'd probably go back again. Ran into some other friends, too. Definitely be there again next year!

 Hi Sarah,

  It was good to see you and Alexia out and having fun. I am glad you two are together and in a better place for you to find work. It help when you are happy too. Pride events can be a lot of fun and @Jessica , @Michelle_P , and I are descending upon @Tessa James ' place this weekend so we can attend all the Astoria Pride events. We plan to fave a bunch of fun.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Quote from: Laurie on June 03, 2018, 01:52:49 PM
Hi Sarah,

  It was good to see you and Alexia out and having fun. I am glad you two are together and in a better place for you to find work. It help when you are happy too. Pride events can be a lot of fun and @Jessica , @Michelle_P , and I are descending upon @Tessa James ' place this weekend so we can attend all the Astoria Pride events. We plan to fave a bunch of fun.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Thanks Laurie!! Sounds like you've got an awesome weekend planned. I'm sure the Astoria Pride is a little larger than KC's. Have fun!!!

  I don't think it will be as big as the KC one Sarah. This will be their 3 year of celebrating Pride, Astoria is a very small city and the festivities will draw from 5 or 6 nearby communities. Even at that it is much smaller than the Portland, Or one that happens the following weekend. Neither has the population of KC.

Laurie

Quote from: Laurie on June 03, 2018, 04:20:25 PM
  I don't think it will be as big as the KC one Sarah. This will be their 3 year of celebrating Pride, Astoria is a very small city and the festivities will draw from 5 or 6 nearby communities. Even at that it is much smaller than the Portland, Or one that happens the following weekend. Neither has the population of KC.

Laurie

Thanks for the update on Astoria Laurie.  Wouldn't want anyone to think we are Astoria NY (a neighborhood within Queens, how fitting) tho our visionary perspectives are uuuge!! ;D

Quote from: Tessa James on June 03, 2018, 05:23:52 PM
Thanks for the update on Astoria Laurie.  Wouldn't want anyone to think we are Astoria NY (a neighborhood within Queens, how fitting) tho our visionary perspectives are uuuge!! ;D

  I forgot to add that though Astoria may be smaller it was certainly a lot of fun to participate in. Right, @Tessa James ? btw Tessa we bought our cocktail and Gayla tickets online already.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Quote from: Sarah_P on June 03, 2018, 01:26:17 PM
Woohoo!!! #KCPride18! (Kansas City Pride 2018, for the hashtag-deficient).

(https://i.imgur.com/NVO1f6M.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/th8UTV8.jpg)

I got photo-bombed by TGI!  :D  FYI, my hair's not shorter - I had it tied back because it was too hot otherwise!

(https://i.imgur.com/3DZqA9a.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/xghOcPA.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/yHH6LDh.jpg)

We ran into our friend Diane, who was seriously into it! Plus a pink dinosaur!

(https://i.imgur.com/VCgNoW0.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/DsViqkC.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/0Bbycao.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/88IeoD9.jpg)

Some shots of the fair. For some reason I didn't get shots of all the tents for dealers. Most of them didn't want pictures taken, anyway. Should have taken more in general. Probably would have, but Alexa forgot her phone!  :o  BTW, the whole thing was much bigger than my photos make it look. It was just stretched out along a road, and not spread out in a square or anything.

(https://i.imgur.com/IV4ZHTm.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/pt2nJue.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/SFWVUWS.jpg)

We decided to get in on the whole flag thing. I got my smaller trans and pan flags, and Alexa got the big trans flag (btw, I need to pay more attention to the background when I take pictures of people.... sorry, Alexa!). I was wearing my flags from the back, tucked through my belt for most of the fair.  8)

It was a lot of fun, and there were so many awesome people there. I was so happy to see lots of trans folks (of all varieties) there, too! Many wearing the flag like capes. There was one family with a teenage trans son with 'The scary trans person the media's warned you about... is my son!' t-shirts. I had to go up to them and thank them for being such wonderful and supportive parents.

Other than that, tons of people selling some awesome stuff. I almost bought the rainbow angel wings. There was a leather dealer with tons of fun custom made stuff ( >:-) ), but it was too expensive for us. Maybe when I get a job (fingers crossed!). There were two tables that would glitter you for free, but we didn't partake, since I know how invasive it is. We'd be finding glitter everywhere for a month or more. There was also a carnival, which we walked through but didn't partake of. I don't trust mobile carnival rides, and the food is pretty bad compared to what else was available. Of course most of the food all over there was over-priced, especially this one huge stand (completely absurd prices like $12 for a smoked sausage!).

If Alexa wasn't working today we'd probably go back again. Ran into some other friends, too. Definitely be there again next year!

Ah, Sarah, mon chère! Très belle!!  :-* ;D

I already commented a bit on twitter, but so happy the two of you had fun!!!! I'm so jealous! (Of what you may ask? Everything!! <3 :P) I hope I have even a remotely decent experience when I go to Augusta, GA Pride in a few weeks (plus I hope hair transplants will be healed enough by then to wear wig comfortably in scorching Georgia summer weather), but I can't imagine it will be anywhere near the level of the KC one it sounds like. But then I'll have Atlanta pride in October and that one should be massive (with a super heavy trans representation since it is Atlanta I'd imagine), plus I'll be 10 months in at that point and hopefully a few pounds lighter so maybe I can have some real fun.  >:-)

Quote from: Roll on June 03, 2018, 05:44:08 PM
Ah, Sarah, mon chère! Très belle!!  :-* ;D

I already commented a bit on twitter, but so happy the two of you had fun!!!! I'm so jealous! (Of what you may ask? Everything!! <3 :P) I hope I have even a remotely decent experience when I go to Augusta, GA Pride in a few weeks (plus I hope hair transplants will be healed enough by then to wear wig comfortably in scorching Georgia summer weather), but I can't imagine it will be anywhere near the level of the KC one it sounds like. But then I'll have Atlanta pride in October and that one should be massive (with a super heavy trans representation since it is Atlanta I'd imagine), plus I'll be 10 months in at that point and hopefully a few pounds lighter so maybe I can have some real fun.  >:-)

Thanks Ellie!! Hope you have fun! Are you going with anyone?

Quote from: Sarah_P on June 04, 2018, 04:19:14 PM
Thanks Ellie!! Hope you have fun! Are you going with anyone?

Unfortunately no, no idea who I would go with. It's a bit of a drive from here, which really only works because I am visiting my brother at the same time (Augusta is actually my home town).

Quote from: Laurie on June 03, 2018, 05:31:20 PM
  I forgot to add that though Astoria may be smaller it was certainly a lot of fun to participate in. Right, @Tessa James ? btw Tessa we bought our cocktail and Gayla tickets online already.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Smart move girlfriend !  they are going fast!  Fun is fully expected and I will be singing my heart out in the Q Choir that nite.  Yay us!

Quote from: Roll on June 04, 2018, 06:37:35 PM
Unfortunately no, no idea who I would go with. It's a bit of a drive from here, which really only works because I am visiting my brother at the same time (Augusta is actually my home town).

With any luck you may make some new friends while you're there.

Quote from: Sarah_P on June 06, 2018, 12:13:58 AM
With any luck you may make some new friends while you're there.

It crossed my mind! ;D I even ordered a new custom made shirt for it, though I'm worried it might not be here in time since they had to back order some female cut shirts. It's a tie dye trans flag shirt I found on etsy. (https://www.etsy.com/listing/248788640/trans-pride-flag-unisex-tie-dye-t-shirt) I figure worst case scenario, I have a new shirt with colors that look good on me! ;D (Seriously, the trans flag colors are like... my colors.)

Quote from: Roll on June 06, 2018, 12:21:07 AM
It crossed my mind! ;D I even ordered a new custom made shirt for it, though I'm worried it might not be here in time since they had to back order some female cut shirts. It's a tie dye trans flag shirt I found on etsy. (https://www.etsy.com/listing/248788640/trans-pride-flag-unisex-tie-dye-t-shirt) I figure worst case scenario, I have a new shirt with colors that look good on me! ;D (Seriously, the trans flag colors are like... my colors.)

If nothing else there'll probably be people selling various shirts there. You could change in a restroom or something!

Quote from: Sarah_P on June 06, 2018, 09:55:15 AM
If nothing else there'll probably be people selling various shirts there. You could change in a restroom or something!

I was looking at the official shirts because I'd love to get a real souvenir, but the Augusta pride's theme is weird and unappealing to me. It's some like pseudo political thing around the phrase "We the People" and then the logo is that written in like old cursive with mixed flags. I thought it sounded really dumb to be honest, and the shirts are ugly. :P But I'm sure will be non-theme shirts being sold. I just really loved the tie dye look, the faded gradients instead of solid stripes! :D

I'm now officially a Missourian! Got my license switched over yesterday. Waiting on the official one, but the picture doesn't look too bad on the print one! Which is nice, considering I didn't realize until I got there that I hadn't put on any makeup whatsoever, even some concealer for the upper lip. No one said anything, so yay!
The woman at the DL office was incredibly cool. I had to show my birth certificate, which still hasn't been updated, so I also brought my court order for my name change (interesting note - They gave me 4 official signed & sealed copies after my hearing, and I still have them all! Everyone just copies them and hands them back). I explained the situation and she had no problems, and we chatted for a bit about various things. Next is getting the car re-licensed, but that's going to have to wait for a bit.

This last Monday I had my interview with the Johnson County library, and it went very well. It's in the inter-library loan department, and my work history at the library, a mail room, retail shipping, and selling on e-bay all seemed to impress them. They said they'll contact me next week to let me know one way or another. Fingers crossed!!!

Other news.... I've put on way too much weight. Alexa's eating habits aren't nearly as light as mine had been, so between eating out (way too much, really - we're cutting back though) and my inability to say no to tasty fattening food when we're out shopping, I gained about 13 pounds. Time to start exercising again, and being more careful with what I eat. We've talked about going for walks, but it's been so blazing hot here that the only good time for that is the middle of the night. I've got my treadmill, but there's no room so it's in storage. She does have an exercise bike though, so I'll be spending some quality time on it. Trying to ignore the 18 bratwurst we got at costco that's currently sitting in the freezer. I got a bit over-excited with wanting to grill. But I am the Grill Queen!!

Last week we went around and looked at several apartments for when we move in September. Need to get at least a 2 bedroom so we can have an office / extra gaming space. If I get this job, we could easily afford a townhouse, which I would love to get. Our number one priority when choosing a place is if they have Google Fiber - it's a must have. Number two is LOTS of closet space. This is the conundrum of a  relationship between two women - too many clothes!! Thankfully we're mostly the same size (I'm taller, so my full length pants are too long for her), or it would be even worse. Of course, one of my questions at every place was the grill policy. Sadly, most places won't let you have a grill within 10 feet of the building. Sigh.

Hi Sarah,

Congratulations on getting settled in your new home, new driver's licence and hopefully (fingers crossed) nice new job.

I know the temptations of good tasting (fattening) food. Be strong! Resist! [emoji23]

Looking forward to reading more of your updates.

Hugs,
Jayne

Well sigh. I didn't get the job. But! She said I had a VERY strong interview, and she urged me to apply again for one of their upcoming positions. In the meantime I feel like such a burden on Alexa. She says I'm not, which makes me feel all the more that I need to contribute. I've got a couple leads on some part time jobs that could be good for some income while I work on a full time one, though!

My eBay selling is going fairly well. It'd be going so much better if I wasn't so limited in how much I can post in a month.i could post more with a business account, but I'm not a business! Plus I don't want to pay for the business account. They take enough money as it is.

We found a game store in Mission (part of the greater Kansas City area) that has ladies game night every tuesday night. They are 100% inclusive, and have no problems whatsoever with trans ladies! Everyone we met last Tuesday were really fun, so we are making this a weekly outing! Plenty of tables to play board games, card games (like magic the gathering And cards against humanity, not poker) or even have a role playing group.

Other stuff.... Still need to tag the car, but Missouri requires an inspection, which I need to get done. Hopefully the car passes, since I can't afford much for repairs. In mid August I'm going to file for my court order to get my gender change to get my birth certificate updated. I might actually talk to a lawyer first (If I can afford one) and see if they can do anything.

We're going to Alexa's parents for father's day dinner tonight. Should be fun.

Quote from: Sarah_P on June 17, 2018, 11:52:15 AM
Well sigh. I didn't get the job. But! She said I had a VERY strong interview, and she urged me to apply again for one of their upcoming positions. In the meantime I feel like such a burden on Alexa. She says I'm not, which makes me feel all the more that I need to contribute. I've got a couple leads on some part time jobs that could be good for some income while I work on a full time one, though!

My eBay selling is going fairly well. It'd be going so much better if I wasn't so limited in how much I can post in a month.i could post more with a business account, but I'm not a business! Plus I don't want to pay for the business account. They take enough money as it is.

We found a game store in Mission (part of the greater Kansas City area) that has ladies game night every tuesday night. They are 100% inclusive, and have no problems whatsoever with trans ladies! Everyone we met last Tuesday were really fun, so we are making this a weekly outing! Plenty of tables to play board games, card games (like magic the gathering And cards against humanity, not poker) or even have a role playing group.

Other stuff.... Still need to tag the car, but Missouri requires an inspection, which I need to get done. Hopefully the car passes, since I can't afford much for repairs. In mid August I'm going to file for my court order to get my gender change to get my birth certificate updated. I might actually talk to a lawyer first (If I can afford one) and see if they can do anything.

We're going to Alexa's parents for father's day dinner tonight. Should be fun.

Sarah, sorry about the job. You have a great attitude, though. Don't give up. You will find something.

Oh yeah.....eBay take plenty of money from each sale. But it is convenient and gets results. I'm glad your sales are going well.

I enjoy reading your updates. You have a very positive outlook and are an all round happy person.

Have fun at Alexa's parent's dinner.

Hugs,
Jayne

Ebay really gouges people on their cut, but they know you don't have other options so... Yeah. Sorry to hear about the job, I know what you mean about feeling like a burden. :/ But I have faith something will pick up soon! They clearly liked you, and if you keep in touch maybe they will just go straight to you for upcoming positions before going through the broader interview hassle and cost.

Wow, been a while again. Not much to say, still looking for work. I've got a phone interview tomorrow, and I've got my fingers crossed yet again for one of two library jobs. We'll see.

My boob growth seems to have slowed considerably. Not happy with that. I'm still just above an A. Gonna ask the doc on Monday for patches & progesterone.

Meeting lots of great people! Getting involved with various communities here in KC. Here's us at a get together a couple weeks ago. We both wore dresses, something we don't do often (but want and need to do more!!):

(https://i.imgur.com/TBlQFrk.jpg)

Went out yesterday in my short shorts. Please ignore the look of pain on my face, it's from stepping out into the insane heat we're having...

(https://i.imgur.com/dk8DtQW.jpg)

...Really need to work on that pale skin.  I've got a swimsuit (pic coming eventually? Maybe?), and have been tempted by the pool, but Alexa doesn't have one yet. We're working on that, as she bought some bottoms today. There's a top she really wants online, but never gets around to ordering it. I'll have to nudge her a little more.

We've got a um... special event we're going to Friday night, and I at least will be decked out all fancy-like. Stay tuned!

Hi Sarah, good luck with your phone interview tomorrow. I've got my fingers crossed for you.

It's great to see you and Alexa getting involved with  various communities and enjoying life.

Hugs,
Jayne

Was it a concert at starlight?  Because that show rocked.

OHHH, FANCY EVENT. TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME. ;D  >:-)

So here you go!

(https://i.imgur.com/bxgXpVw.jpg)  (https://i.imgur.com/OZwwfuS.jpg)

Lexi really needs to smile more! Didn't realize she cut my feet off... I was wearing heels, but only made it out to the car with them. They were killing my toes. I really need to practice more. Thankfully I brought some nice flats just in case that happened. It's a good thing too, since at one point in the evening we were walking down some fairly difficult wood stairs.

So where did we go? Well, I'm rather open about my kink these days (my inhibitions are quickly melting away!), so I'll just say it (but keep it clean). We went to a local dungeon for the first time. For those that don't know, it's a place for a variety of kinks (mostly BDSM), where people can meet like minded others, learn new things (especially safety!), and has plenty of fun furniture and such for people to play. We're still pretty new to the lifestyle, so we're taking things slow. Suffice to say we'll be back often.  >:-) >:-) >:-)

We've been going to various kink socials for the last few weeks, meeting and getting to know people. Everyone has been awesome, and totally trans-inclusive (even a women's only group that we've joined). There's a HUGE kink community here in KC!!

Have I ruined my sweet, innocent image?  :angel: Ah well, these things happen.  :D

Feel free to PM me for details, including my birthday celebration there. Sorry, no pics of the place - against the rules.  >:-)

Wait, so you're complaining about uncomfortable shoes on the way to a BDSM dungeon?  Just think of it as a warm-up, lol.

Quote from: Colleen_definitely on July 08, 2018, 01:47:51 PM
Wait, so you're complaining about uncomfortable shoes on the way to a BDSM dungeon?  Just think of it as a warm-up, lol.

LOL!! My toes are not usually involved in our play. I certainly didn't complain about the discomfort of sitting down later that night.  ;D

Quote from: Sarah_P on July 08, 2018, 04:18:17 PM
LOL!! My toes are not usually involved in our play. I certainly didn't complain about the discomfort of sitting down later that night.  ;D

My order of thoughts in emoji form.
???
???
???
::)
:o
:o
;D
>:-)
:-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

Also, same bracelet?!

(https://imgur.com/QcwFAVi.jpg)

Quote from: Roll on July 08, 2018, 09:43:46 PM
Also, same bracelet?!

(https://imgur.com/QcwFAVi.jpg)

I'll say it again: You're completely adorable Ellie. It was close enough to my birthday to warrant a birthday spanking. With tool assistance.  :-*

Mine's similar, it doesn't have the Trans Pride stamped on it. Alexa's got the exact same one as you, though.

Just had yet another interview for a library job today. Went fairly well, I think. There are two positions open, so surely I'll get one of them? Fingers crossed.

I got to wear a nice new dress for the interview, though!

(https://i.imgur.com/DKSjOAl.jpg)  (https://i.imgur.com/30igh97.jpg)

Had my 1 year checkup at the doctor. Everything's going great. Got my spiro switched to a larger pill size, since it's 1/3 cheaper than what I was getting. Also, I'm starting progesterone. Stopped by costco after the interview and picked them all up. Starting on progesterone tonight!

Only 5 more days until I hit the 1 year hrt mark!!

We've been pretty busy this week, and continue to be! Went to a polyamory support group meeting Monday, Lady's Game Night Tuesday, a new friend dropped by Wednesday to play board games, tonight we've got rope lessons ( ;D ), tomorrow night is another game night (oddly enough, we'll be playing Magic The Gathering at a dungeon - at least for a little while  >:-) ). Saturday we're going to Worlds of Fun (free tickets and drinks through Alexa's work!).

Alexa might get some rest Sunday, but I'm probably going to be going back to Fort Scott to help my mom out sorting through stuff. She's going to have a huge garage sale soon, then get moved up to the KC area herself. Yay!

Oh, and I just had to add this adorable photo of Alexa with her kitty Nigel.  <3 <3 <3

(https://i.imgur.com/oNWdDvA.jpg)

Busy girl!!! and a pool party as well . Fingers crossed for the job.

Quote from: Sarah_P on July 12, 2018, 03:19:42 PM

(oddly enough, we'll be playing Magic The Gathering at a dungeon - at least for a little while  >:-) ).

If you had to chose between the following, which would you pick:
1) Green/white token deck. (DOUBLING SEASON)
2) Traditional blue control deck.
3) Black/Red vampires deck.
4) Eldrazi.

There's no point to this question, I'm just bored.

The spankings will continue until morale improves

Quote from: Roll on July 12, 2018, 05:57:56 PM
If you had to chose between the following, which would you pick:
1) Green/white token deck. (DOUBLING SEASON)
2) Traditional blue control deck.
3) Black/Red vampires deck.
4) Eldrazi.

There's no point to this question, I'm just bored.

Dunno. I go through Alexa's cards and come up with a theme of some sort, then work from there. I played mtg backnwhen it started, but sold off all my cards in like 1997 or so. Including all 5 black lotus. Right now i have a white soldier deck, a green/red beast deck, and a black/red/blue spirit / discard deck.

Quote from: Colleen_definitely on July 12, 2018, 06:12:28 PM
The spankings will continue until morale improves

Yes please. That would certainly increase MY morale.

Hi Sarah,

Hope you get one of the two job positions. I have my fingers crossed for you too. I like your hair in the second photo. It really suits you.

Happy 1 year hormoneversary for 5 days time.

Hugs,
Jayne

Oh God it didn't even cross my mind until now. You've become the classic naughty, sexy librarian!

Quote from: Roll on July 13, 2018, 09:33:26 PM
Oh God it didn't even cross my mind until now. You've become the classic naughty, sexy librarian!

'And this is where you'll find everything you need to know about human anatomy' she says as she removes her glasses....

;)  :-*