I started HRT ten days ago! Very exciting.
I am by nature very distrustful of medications, though, very cautious. I don't like them and only take them when I have to. This, of course, is a "have to," and I'm glad to finally begin, so my plan has been to start with Spiro at a low dose, go with it slowly for a while, see how I tolerate it, then up the dose cautiously.
Had my first appointment with my guy about a month ago for a meet-n-greet and to order labs. He seemed okay enough to work with. It so happens that he's actually a GP, not a board-certified endocrinologist, but he's been working with trans people for years, particularly with older gals like me, and he's embedded in the local research community, so it's not like he's some upstart.
My labs all came back clean, and ten days ago I went to my appointment to review them and get my Rx for the Spiro. Haven't exactly felt any physical changes yet from the Spiro - no increased frequency of urination or cravings for sodium, for example - but then again I'm a rapid metabolizer. I p much need a double dose of any med before my body starts to notice it. And no doubt, greater changes are still to come. I have been feeling different, if not physically, just attitudinally. My baseline sense of general misanthropy has lifted a fair bit.
While at that second appointment, I also scheduled my annual physical exam with him. What the heck, he is a GP, and I was due. He was nice enough to offer to see me this past Sunday when he comes in to do weekly paperwork.
He did a good workup, looked down my throat, looked up my birth certificate, yaddah yaddah. Because I was tolerating the Spiro so well, he suggested I raise the dose again for a week, then move up to a high maintenance dose. Coolio.
Then he started talking about estrogen and its different modes of administration.
Estrogen, I protested, was not in the plans. At least, not yet. I at least wanted to be cautious, to wait until after the equinox, as my mood disorder can flare up around that time of year. Sure, he says, but we can still talk about the different ways you can do E while bypassing the liver. We talk about the patch. The gel. The shot. I allow as I'm okay with all of them, that I rather enjoy needles, but a patch sounds like a rash waiting to happen and the gel sure sounds easy.
He produces a sample pack of the gel. Comes in a little box containing a black plastic case that has seven slots in it, each with a little silver foil sachet of what I've been dreaming about for years.
Dang.
"Why don't you take it home and think it over?" He says. "When you're ready, you just apply one a day to your thigh and rub it in."
Dang.
Double Dang.
Double-Dog Dang.
I face him, my thoughts whirling a mile a minute. This is a real moment of truth for me, folks. Am I ready? I know what I want. I know what my heart says is right. My head says to take it slow. I hate meds. I'm cautious with meds. I don't like introducing meds into my body. Spiro is one thing, but moving to E feels like committing to going past the Point of No Return. I should sit with this, meditate upon it, ask Athena's guidance. The changes will be coming fast and furious if I do this. I'll have to fess up. No more fooling around. Time to be honest with myself.
I reach for the box.
I've been on E for four days now, and you know what? This stuff is great! I'm starting to believe in all that pink cloud nonsense. I'm telling you, natal XX women have been holding out on us.
Happily transitioning,
Battle Goddess
Congratulations on taking that big step!
Hello BattleGoddess
Congratulations on starting HRT Jan 13th and on adding the Estrogen Jan 19th. You'll remember both days forever!
I wish you every happiness and success on your journey.
Hugs
Pamela
Great story, BattleGoddess! :) Resistance is futile. Congratulations on starting HRT!
QuoteResistance is futile.
If less than 100 ohms. ;)
True dat.(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190124/f1a00a44e8f16012980bdb2c8214fbbc.jpg)
Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk
I have a friend who transitioned years and years ago. I remember joking to her that this estrogen stuff she was taking sounded addictive and she had better take care or wind up married to a nice guy living in a nice house in the country with the white picket fence.
She did...
Congradulations on your new start!!!
Wonderful. It sounds like something you've wanted for a long time.
I can still remember the wonderful feelings I had when I first started Estradiol. Within the first week, I knew transition was going to happen. I could never go back to what I was.
Women really are not holding out on us, they just seem to think everybody feels like this.
Quote from: KathyLauren on January 24, 2019, 07:36:15 AM
Resistance is futile.
Quote from: AnneK on January 24, 2019, 07:51:24 AM
If less than 100 ohms. ;)
Quote from: Battle Goddess on January 24, 2019, 04:21:23 PM
True dat.
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190124/f1a00a44e8f16012980bdb2c8214fbbc.jpg)
I'm a little disappointed nobody caught onto the horribly tortured self-referential pun in my response to KathyLauren and AnneK, but you'd only get it if you've ever seen the movie
Nausicaa of the Valley of the WindReady?
.
.
.
Wait for it...
.
.
.
It's a drawing of a newly fledged battle goddess, having given up all resistance, with a single ohm.
8)
/runs away
what does "darn" mean?
Quotebut you'd only get it if you've ever seen the movie Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind
Never even heard of it, let alone seen it.
Quote from: Astxl on January 27, 2019, 05:45:24 AM
what does "darn" mean?
Interesting. It's not in the dictionary but it's a word that has been used for a long time. It's a polite cuss word that means you're unhappy with something that you have to tolerate. If you want to get a better idea about the word, there is a movie from my youth called That Darn Cat (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059793/?ref_=nv_sr_1).
Congratulations on starting down the path. This can be a very affirming time even if the first week's effects are more placebo then anything an open mind goes a long ways.
Since you are on spiro be sure to monitor your potassium levels. :)
Best wishes on your journey and in a sense:
:icon_birthday:
After my first few days on spiro / estrogen I knew that it was right. The physical changes of course take much longer, but, the sheer elation of having the right chemicals in my brain...
Congratulations, I hope you have a wonderful transition.
Quote from: krobinson103 on January 27, 2019, 04:49:16 PM
After my first few days on spiro / estrogen I knew that it was right. The physical changes of course take much longer, but, the sheer elation of having the right chemicals in my brain...
I took me about one week and everything seemed to line up much better.
@Battle Goddess Congratulations on starting your journey...I use the gel and find it simple and effective. I hope you enjoy your "pink fog" it really does seem to give you a different perspective.
Liz
Quote from: GingerVicki on January 27, 2019, 05:59:10 PM
I took me about one week and everything seemed to line up much better.
So what is wrong with me? I feel nothing, zero, nill, nada, just swollen feet! And unswollen feet bcause of spiro!
Quote from: Dietlind on January 27, 2019, 09:54:51 PM
So what is wrong with me? I feel nothing, zero, nill, nada, just swollen feet! And unswollen feet bcause of spiro!
Sometimes the watched pot doesn't boil.
Quote from: NatalieRene on January 27, 2019, 09:58:10 PM
Sometimes the watched pot doesn't boil.
I really wonder if the stuff will do anything to me. My genome analysis showed that most opioids are not metabolized by my body, and just slide through me. Might the same be true for estrogen?
I have a blood test coming up mid February, and I am really wondering what that will show!
Quote from: Battle Goddess on January 24, 2019, 04:21:23 PM
True dat.(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190124/f1a00a44e8f16012980bdb2c8214fbbc.jpg)
Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk
You get a bump just for the Nausicaa reference :D I am a huge fan!
I plan on starting HRT and your situation sounds sooooo much like me. I hate meds and am really kind of freaked out tbh. Reading your post gave me some heart.
Thank you! :) Jael
<Philosophizing>
So... Do we NEED hormones to be women? They may help some people, but based on the photos I have seen in these forums, there are plenty of people who could easily "pass" long before the first hormone touched them.
Or maybe... For how long do we NEED hormones? There are a TON of people in these forums who, it seems to me, totally "pass" and clearly do not need hormones any longer to live their lives as women.
I mention this because my endo (That Darn Endo...) over the past 18 months (since my turning 60), has made the point about how I have "the complete package" and look/sound/act like any other cis woman she talks to. Having been on some form of estrogen for 30 years, E has done whatever it will do to me. And, I think my Darn Endo would love it if I stopped taking it, because of the potential risks. I am hesitant because the 12 month trial of being off estradiol made me feel like Not Me. But perhaps I should work on that.
So, maybe, "we" can find ways to just be women, without hormones, or perhaps without hormones after a time.
Perhaps, Dietlind, you don't need estradiol to be the woman you are...
Perhaps this is true for you too, Battle Goddess...
</Philosophizing>
Kate
Quote from: KatieP on January 27, 2019, 10:25:03 PM
Perhaps, Dietlind, you don't need estradiol to be the woman you are...
Perhaps this is true for you too, Battle Goddess...
</Philosophizing>
Kate
I started to be a woman (biologically I actually was mostly woman all my life), quite a ways before I even found out about HRT. It started definitely about 4 years ago, when my breasts started to grow. I started with estrogen because I was hoping to get some more growth for the girls (I am a 34 B now, and that was without any hormones), but I have not seen or detected any results at all. The boobs are still a 34 B, my mood and emotions have not changed, or anything. I wonder if I need estrogen at all? I may be as much of a woman as I ever will be, and the only thing that is missing is the SRS! That is at least the opinion of my therapist. I always had only one testicle, and they think hat the other did not develop, and it might be there in the form of an ovary.
I am just a weird pile of mutated chromosomes, and each time if something new and unexpected happens, they find another mutation of those chromosomes. Who knows, I might just have escaped from Frankenstein's lab, and forgot all about it!
Quote from: Dietlind on January 27, 2019, 10:05:25 PM
I really wonder if the stuff will do anything to me. My genome analysis showed that most opioids are not metabolized by my body, and just slide through me. Might the same be true for estrogen?
I have a blood test coming up mid February, and I am really wondering what that will show!
That is very interesting. I find that most drugs don't have a proper effect on me until they are dosed at the maximum. If the dose for X is 10, 20, 40 and 80 mg I invariably am the one taking the 80mg (or 2 when my doctor decides its safe) How did you find out that you process opiates differently? very curious.
Quote from: JanePlain on January 29, 2019, 08:39:10 AM
That is very interesting. I find that most drugs don't have a proper effect on me until they are dosed at the maximum. If the dose for X is 10, 20, 40 and 80 mg I invariably am the one taking the 80mg (or 2 when my doctor decides its safe) How did you find out that you process opiates differently? very curious.
I am a test subject of the global human genome panel. My entire genome is checked through and analysed for anything and everything, and important results are shared with me to inform my medical providers about them. This is how I found that I have the genetic makeup typical for a post menopausal woman, and that it seems, as if I finished menopause about 16 years ago.
Us intersex persons are really an unusual biological construct!
Quote from: Dietlind on January 29, 2019, 08:56:38 AM
I am a test subject of the global human genome panel. My entire genome is checked through and analysed for anything and everything, and important results are shared with me to inform my medical providers about them. This is how I found that I have the genetic makeup typical for a post menopausal woman, and that it seems, as if I finished menopause about 16 years ago.
Us intersex persons are really an unusual biological construct!
As a science nerd all I can say is "COOL!" Your on the edge of SciFi medical study with you entire genome being looked over.
Quote from: JanePlain on January 29, 2019, 08:59:54 AM
As a science nerd all I can say is "COOL!" Your on the edge of SciFi medical study with you entire genome being looked over.
It sure beats the research studies I did. Trying to find out, whether pre surgical shaving or hair clipping causes lower wound infection rates (clipping turned out to be way better, because way less infections).
Any surgeon who is insisting on shaving the surgical area is not up to snuff with new technologies!
Quote from: JanePlain on January 29, 2019, 08:59:54 AM
As a science nerd all I can say is "COOL!" Your on the edge of SciFi medical study with you entire genome being looked over.
They're also checking to see if there's a DNA link to crime scenes. ;)
Quote from: Dietlind on January 27, 2019, 10:05:25 PM
I really wonder if the stuff will do anything to me. My genome analysis showed that most opioids are not metabolized by my body, and just slide through me. Might the same be true for estrogen?
I have a blood test coming up mid February, and I am really wondering what that will show!
You should be doing sublingual to bypass the liver on the first pass. This should help get effect.
Quote from: NatalieRene on January 29, 2019, 12:25:15 PM
You should be doing sublingual to bypass the liver on the first pass. This should help get effect.
I am doing that since day one that I am on pills! The patches gave me skin blisters, and the pills give me swollen feet, instead of swollen boobs!
My breasts have not grown any since starting the estrogen stuff. They are still there at the B cup size they were, before I even knew about HRT!
My liver is sitting there in a corner, and tapping its fingers, in the hope to eventually see some of the estrogen!
I had a blood test done to check my estrogen and testosterone levels. I will know the results on Monday. The amount of testosterone I have should indicate whether my testes still work or not, my urologist feels they are so atrophied that they gave up working quite a while ago. I have the feeling that was the time when my breasts started to grow.
If the blood test turns out to show close to zero testosterone, I will get my testes removed on insurance money because of pain they cause and cancer prevention.
Once i am without balls, I can start my legal name and gender change.
So, please cross your fingers to make sure that my balls of fire are nothing but useless marbles!
Quote from: Dietlind on January 29, 2019, 12:50:40 PM
I am doing that since day one that I am on pills! The patches gave me skin blisters, and the pills give me swollen feet, instead of swollen boobs!
My breasts have not grown any since starting the estrogen stuff. They are still there at the B cup size they were, before I even knew about HRT!
My liver is sitting there in a corner, and tapping its fingers, in the hope to eventually see some of the estrogen!
I had a blood test done to check my estrogen and testosterone levels. I will know the results on Monday. The amount of testosterone I have should indicate whether my testes still work or not, my urologist feels they are so atrophied that they gave up working quite a while ago. I have the feeling that was the time when my breasts started to grow.
If the blood test turns out to show close to zero testosterone, I will get my testes removed on insurance money because of pain they cause and cancer prevention.
Once i am without balls, I can start my legal name and gender change.
So, please cross your fingers to make sure that my balls of fire are nothing but useless marbles!
Its probably physical dysphoria screaming in my head that leads me to say, "congratulations on getting your testes removed!" I'm sure you know this far better then I but getting labs done so you can adjust dose is science and for sure the way you want to do it. I suspect you just need to have something adjusted because it does seem like your not getting the expected results. And re the problems with patches etc. I wanted to put in a vote for estrogel. Or oestrogel depending on where you live and how its marketed.
I'm looking forward to hearing what they say on monday!
Quote from: JanePlain on January 30, 2019, 11:06:01 AM
Its probably physical dysphoria screaming in my head that leads me to say, "congratulations on getting your testes removed!" I'm sure you know this far better then I but getting labs done so you can adjust dose is science and for sure the way you want to do it. I suspect you just need to have something adjusted because it does seem like your not getting the expected results. And re the problems with patches etc. I wanted to put in a vote for estrogel. Or oestrogel depending on where you live and how its marketed.
I'm looking forward to hearing what they say on monday!
My endo wanted to put me on estrogel, but it is not on the formulary of my health insurance!
I absolutely can't wait to see what my hormone levels are. I have the gut feeling (and hope), that testosterone is pretty low. If this is true, out them balls go!
Good luck Linde for your BT for E&T on Feb 4th.
I assume like me you check your BT results 24/48 hours later online so you should know on Feb 6th.
Hugs
Pamela
Quote from: pamelatransuk on January 31, 2019, 04:19:06 AM
Good luck Linde for your BT for E&T on Feb 4th.
I assume like me you check your BT results 24/48 hours later online so you should know on Feb 6th.
Hugs
Pamela
I should know on the 4th, because I have an appointment with the urologist! This is the appointment at which it will be decided whether I will become a ball less wimp, or remain the same kind of wimp, just with balls!
Dietlind, your balls seem to have gotten smaller as in the time I have known you here, a few weeks, you are becoming more of a woman all the time.
Quote from: mm on January 31, 2019, 01:24:36 PM
Dietlind, your balls seem to have gotten smaller as in the time I have known you here, a few weeks, you are becoming more of a woman all the time.
The urologist feels that they are extremely atrophied. It might b that estrogen has something to do with it, but the urologist felt it would not be the case.
I don't think that it has anything to do with me becoming a woman, because that process started when I was born. However, I loose more and more of my masculinity (if there is any left).
What I wouldn't give to get my insurance to cover voluntary orchiectomies...
Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk
Quote from: Battle Goddess on February 02, 2019, 01:00:39 AM
What I wouldn't give to get my insurance to cover voluntary orchiectomies...
Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk
You just have to develop problems with your testicles!
I definitely have issues with them...
Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk
Quote from: Dena on January 27, 2019, 09:36:40 AM
Interesting. It's not in the dictionary but it's a word that has been used for a long time. It's a polite cuss word that means you're unhappy with something that you have to tolerate. If you want to get a better idea about the word, there is a movie from my youth called That Darn Cat (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059793/?ref_=nv_sr_1).
Come to think of it, it's also a term for mending garments. It's even mentioned in Luke 2:8 "For in that same country there were shepherds, darning their socks by night."
Quote from: Dietlind on January 31, 2019, 09:35:14 AM
I should know on the 4th, because I have an appointment with the urologist! This is the appointment at which it will be decided whether I will become a ball less wimp, or remain the same kind of wimp, just with balls!
Well, I know now what blood levels I have. One thing is nice, my prostate is just sitting there and not acting up at all, The PSI is 1.0, just like it is supposed to be!
My testosterone is 74 and my estrogen is 63.8. I know that the testosteron is very, very low for a guy, and it indicates that the testes don't work anymore (the doc feels they stopped working several years ago). Therefore he will go ahead, and cut those babies out from me (health insurance will pay).
I don't have any idea if my estrogen level is high, normal, or low. Can I get some intelligence here if that is an OK level for a trans woman?
Whoo hoo! Congratulations girl! That's darn great!!!
Sent from my XT1585 using Tapatalk
Quote from: Dietlind on February 05, 2019, 07:16:43 PM
Well, I know now what blood levels I have. One thing is nice, my prostate is just sitting there and not acting up at all, The PSI is 1.0, just like it is supposed to be!
My testosterone is 74 and my estrogen is 63.8. I know that the testosteron is very, very low for a guy, and it indicates that the testes don't work anymore (the doc feels they stopped working several years ago). Therefore he will go ahead, and cut those babies out from me (health insurance will pay).
I don't have any idea if my estrogen level is high, normal, or low. Can I get some intelligence here if that is an OK level for a trans woman?
Units.. What unit of measurement is being used? Hard to make a comment without knowing.
Quote from: PurplePelican on February 05, 2019, 10:18:03 PM
Units.. What unit of measurement is being used? Hard to make a comment without knowing.
Don't know, they just gave m those numbers. The stupid webportal of Labcorp is down since Friday, and I can't get a hold of those results. I assume it is the standard measurement used in the US. Afterall, Lab Corp is the largest test lab!
Linde
On the HRT Board I have a "Comparison" thread which shows E&T Blood Test readings from many of us - mainly for 3/4 or 6/7 or 9/10 months but readings at other times are also welcome which I attach below. You may wish to compare your US readings with those there.
Next week I shall be doing the next quarter meaning E&T BT readings after 12/13 months on HRT Board. Please feel free to add yours stating period of time on HRT to either thread if you wish.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,242549.20.html
Hugs
Pamela
Quote from: pamelatransuk on February 06, 2019, 04:54:38 AM
Linde
On the HRT Board I have a "Comparison" thread which shows E&T Blood Test readings from many of us - mainly for 3/4 or 6/7 or 9/10 months but readings at other times are also welcome which I attach below. You may wish to compare your US readings with those there.
Next week I shall be doing the next quarter meaning E&T BT readings after 12/13 months on HRT Board. Please feel free to add yours stating period of time on HRT to either thread if you wish.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,242549.20.html
Hugs
Pamela
Thanks Pamela, I put my values onto that board.
Quote from: Dietlind on February 05, 2019, 07:16:43 PM
My testosterone is 74 and my estrogen is 63.8. I know that the testosteron is very, very low for a guy, and it indicates that the testes don't work anymore (the doc feels they stopped working several years ago). Therefore he will go ahead, and cut those babies out from me (health insurance will pay).
Gratz!
Quote from: Battle Goddess on February 06, 2019, 12:05:06 PM
Gratz!
Thanks, an old girl has to be lucky once in a while! ;D
Quote from: Dietlind on February 06, 2019, 12:44:52 PM
Thanks, an old girl has to be lucky once in a while! ;D
I'd give my left nut to be in your shoes.
Quote from: Battle Goddess on February 06, 2019, 01:45:36 PM
I'd give my left nut to be in your shoes.
It is relatively easy, you just get your nuts to hurt like hell when you just touch them, and you can sit down with wide spread legs only, to nut squeeze them.
After that you go through a series of icky antibiotics, to make sure it is not a bacterial infection causing the pain. Once you are though tha, your urologist has to reach the conclusion that you either have a chronic inflammation or some precancerous stuff going on that warrants to cut them away.
After a blood test showed that those babies don't work anymore anyway, the cutting them away dayte will arranged (if the scheduler is not out sick)!
As you can see, a very quick and almost pain free method to loose your balls!
Quote from: Dietlind on February 06, 2019, 01:58:33 PM
It is relatively easy, you just get your nuts to hurt like hell when you just touch them, and you can sit down with wide spread legs only, to nut squeeze them.
After that you go through a series of icky antibiotics, to make sure it is not a bacterial infection causing the pain. Once you are though tha, your urologist has to reach the conclusion that you either have a chronic inflammation or some precancerous stuff going on that warrants to cut them away.
After a blood test showed that those babies don't work anymore anyway, the cutting them away dayte will arranged (if the scheduler is not out sick)!
As you can see, a very quick and almost pain free method to loose your balls!
I'll get right on it.
I was eating popcorn while reading this. It was so interesting and flowed really well.
Diction aside, when I previously transitioned I lived up North and had access to an UH-MAZING endocrinology at St. Louis Children's by the name of Dr. Christopher Lewis. He really personalized each of his patient's care, and during that time I was on Casodex.
However, because I was a twat and stuff happened, I ended my transition back then. Also, I turned 18 and moved...so, I was now 1,000 miles from Dr. Lewis and no longer eligible for his care either way, seeing that I'm now technically an adult. I hope that when the time comes for HRT again, i will be blessed with a doctor like Lewis again.
Congrats on beginning HRT. I definitely how cautious you are, especially regarding moods and such and the reluctance of taking medications. I can relate 100%
Keep us updated!
- Fleur
It's been a bit since I posted in this thread, so I thought I'd bring everyone up to speed on my progress.
After about two months on Spiro and a month and a half on Divigel...
.
.
.
...it isn't working. >:(
That is, not yet.
I did my one-month labs a couple weeks ago and finally tracked my endo down to discuss them with him. Testosterone came in at 670, estrogen at 48.
He expected T below 200 and E above 60. His first take on the results was laboratory error!
Well, probably not.
As I've mentioned elsewhere, I'm one of those people blessed (or cursed) with being an ultra-rapid metabolizer of medications. I simply need much higher dosages than a typical human being for any med to take effect. Psych meds, pain killers, you name it. My dentist always grouses about how much novocaine he has to give me.
What can you say? By definition, there have to be some people on the tail end of the bell curve.
So I remind him of that, and I also point out that I'm not feeling any of Spiro's classic side effects - no extra peeing, no cravings for sodium, no hypostasis, nuthin'. We conclude that the current dosage just isn't working.
Not exactly one of those things you'd have to go to Doctor School to figure out, but at the same time, it's not as though we'd have known things weren't working until we had all the evidence in one place.
Rationally speaking, it makes a lot more sense to take a good, sensible first shot in the dark at the right level, measure results, then adjust, but emotionally speaking, I'm left feeling sad and frustrated. Two months! I mean, I know It's A Lifetime Process, and We're All In It For The Long Haul, and there's no getting around that, but gee whiz! Let's get this show on the road, folks! I guess I can't call it two months wasted because it's two months gathering the data needed to make a better decision (darn, I hate being a scientist sometimes) but I wanted everything to have begun working perfectly from the start!
Aargh!
Darn endocrinologist
Darn transition
Darn being transgender and all the complicated needs and feelings that go along with it
.
.
.
But it is what it is.
So what to do, what to do, what to do?
First off, we're doubling my Spiro. I think I was at a typical maintenance dosage, but now we're going to head toward the top end of normal. That may be a start, but I remain skeptical. I usually need higher than the top end of normal, so I don't doubt that it'll be another round of trial, test, and adjust, and maybe we'll even conclude that Spiro isn't the right med or that we need an adjunct. Meanwhile, more time will pass. Sigh.
Second, we're switching to injectable E in the hopes that it will give us more flexibility to raise the dosage as we continue to test and adjust. I'll have to learn how to give myself shots, but that's kinda cool - I really do love needles. Don't ask.
Finally, I have to remember who I am and what I'm doing. Being myself is the objective, transition is the strategy, and all this footling around with hormones and endos and dosages are just tactics. Yes, I've got to get the tactics right to make progress, but I can't focus only on chemical transition. There are a lot of other aspects of transition to work on, many more challenges to face, much more fun to be had. A fascinating path to follow.
And I am the Battle Goddess.
Let's go.
@Battle Goddess, I might be a little like you concerning chemicals thrown into my body. I know from my genome analysis that your standard opioides don't work with me, they are not metabolized by my system. The only stuff that works is codeine, and my system converts that stuff into morphine (talking about a bio reactor!).
anyway, I have the suspicion that my body does not do to much with estrogen either, because the dose I was on did not do much for me. My dose is now doubled, and I wonder what this will do in the absence of testosterone.
I had negative reactions from spiro, but it could have been the diuretic effect and the potassium sparing that drove me nuts, and now that I don't have them (the nuts) anymore, and thus have to take no spiro, I feel way better.
But that is all I can report about no testosterone and double estrogen. Except the appearance advantage, I don't really need to tuck anymore, all that is left seems to disappear in tight female clothing. I am currently still wearing maxi pads, and doing them right can even create an illusion of a camel toe! >:-)
Sorry to hear of your setback with the meds. At least you have lab tests so aren't "flying blind" with dosages and their effects.
Yes, there are a lot of things you can work on while waiting for HRT to show results. But, everyone has to change at their own pace.
Yayyyy! The Titty Juice Drought is finally over! ;D
Endo called in my Rx for E on Friday, but I've been chasing pharmacies around my neck of the woods ever since to find anyone that even had it in stock. Geez Louise, you'd think this would be a fairly common med. Guess not.
Off to Endo's office tomorrow to learn how to administer it to myself.
Quote from: Battle Goddess on March 13, 2019, 03:27:36 PM
Yayyyy! The Titty Juice Drought is finally over! ;D
Endo called in my Rx for E on Friday, but I've been chasing pharmacies around my neck of the woods ever since to find anyone that even had it in stock. Geez Louise, you'd think this would be a fairly common med. Guess not.
Off to Endo's office tomorrow to learn how to administer it to myself.
Good luck in the hunt for a pharmacy. I don't understand how they can't just order it and call you in a day or two when it should come in? I've heard some types are difficult to find because they just don't produce enough. Injectable type I think was becoming a problem. Glad I'm not the only one that doesn't respond to some meds in low or average doses.
Quote from: JanePlain on March 14, 2019, 11:19:53 AM
Good luck in the hunt for a pharmacy. I don't understand how they can't just order it and call you in a day or two when it should come in? I've heard some types are difficult to find because they just don't produce enough. Injectable type I think was becoming a problem. Glad I'm not the only one that doesn't respond to some meds in low or average doses.
Yah, the rapid metabolizer thing can be kind of a pain sometimes. For instance, one of the antidepressants I take is really great, but it lowers your seizure threshold, so you can safely only go up so high. Another one is fairly good except that it tends to give you heart problems the higher you go. Acetaminophen is useless for me - I'd need so much that it'd ravage my liver.
Saw Endo yesterday. He was really good to me. Taught me how to do the shot and spent a good amount of time just talking and checking in with how I was doing in general, though he was probably also sticking around to make sure I didn't go into anaphylactic shock.
He explained that for now I'm on a starter dose and that we'll eventually end up going to about four times as high. He wants me to give a call in a few weeks to check in. We'll test levels in another month and make adjustments.
Oh - thought I'd mention how I feel today. It is very different than normal. My wife has tried to initiate several annoying interactions today to see what she could get, but whereas I'd normally have found them very irritating, today not so much. Rather, I've been able to address them without the usual amount of anger that dominates my responses. It's not that I haven't found them annoying but rather that my wrath-o-meter hasn't gone all the way up to eleven like usual.
I might not be following this but this sounds exactly like the results of estrogen working. The 11 anger stuff and in fact the whole male binary emotions. Angry or nothing translates to a wide range of emotions some very unguy like but that is what you get when estrogen allows your thinking to become clear and you can be actually happy. Not just "not angry" Thank God its possible! I assume you found a supply of the injectable estrogen?
Quote from: JanePlain on March 16, 2019, 02:59:51 AM
I assume you found a supply of the injectable estrogen?
Sure hope so! Had to switch my Rx to a chain with a wholesaler that had any. Pharmacy said their wholesaler was listing their stock as "intermittently available," so I'm not counting on it being easy to get my next refill, but at least I know now to alert my pharmacist early.
Quote from: Battle Goddess on March 17, 2019, 01:17:45 PM
Sure hope so! Had to switch my Rx to a chain with a wholesaler that had any. Pharmacy said their wholesaler was listing their stock as "intermittently available," so I'm not counting on it being easy to get my next refill, but at least I know now to alert my pharmacist early.
I try to do refills as early as they allow. Sometimes this only results in things being a little late but sometimes it results in a couple extra pills or whatever.
I seem to be a magnet for insurance fiascos so having some prescriptions with a reserve from filling as soon as they allow it has come in handy. Prescription prices out of pocket are just so insane. So many pills are worth their weight in gold. Sad sad world. I've been told by the last two doctors I've seen that I have "good insurance" because its got a rather small copay. So many of these policies are designed to keep you from using them at all because you have to pay everything out of pocket before you reach some magic number where insurance kicks in. The end result always seems to be that you just get to that point and its suddenly a new year with a new titanic about of money to lay out before insurance kicks in.
I guess thats true but the times I've been billed incorrectly seems to be a yearly (at least) event. If you look at the fortune 500 (top 20) insurance companies come out pretty good. How? I mean how if they are honest?
Quote from: JanePlain on March 19, 2019, 02:22:05 AM
I try to do refills as early as they allow. Sometimes this only results in things being a little late but sometimes it results in a couple extra pills or whatever.
I seem to be a magnet for insurance fiascos so having some prescriptions with a reserve from filling as soon as they allow it has come in handy. Prescription prices out of pocket are just so insane. So many pills are worth their weight in gold. Sad sad world. I've been told by the last two doctors I've seen that I have "good insurance" because its got a rather small copay. So many of these policies are designed to keep you from using them at all because you have to pay everything out of pocket before you reach some magic number where insurance kicks in. The end result always seems to be that you just get to that point and its suddenly a new year with a new titanic about of money to lay out before insurance kicks in.
I guess thats true but the times I've been billed incorrectly seems to be a yearly (at least) event. If you look at the fortune 500 (top 20) insurance companies come out pretty good. How? I mean how if they are honest?
I remember in B-school how we worked out the economics of whether or not to buy insurance.
In the mythical world of
homo economicus, where no weird games get played by sleazy businesspeople, self-serving voters, or corrupt politicians, you're better off (on average) not buying insurance.
Problem is, that only works if you never get a big enough medical bill to wipe you out, and we all know that medical bills don't come in one size. So ultimately you pay your insurance company to cover you above the amount you're willing to pay out of your own pocket, and you have to pay extra to get your insurer to take on that kind of risk, and that's their profit.
But that's Blackboard World. In the real world, I once heard the U.S. healthcare marketplace described as a huge pool of money, and everyone - providers, insurers, pharma, etc. - are all in there with straws, trying to suck it up before the others do.
I thought that since I started this topic with the story about my endo, I'd turn it into a log of how my HRT experience is going.
It has been two weeks since we raised my Spiro dose to a high maintenance level. Still not necessarily feeling its typical side effects. I'm not particularly thirsty, nor am I peeing frequently. No cravings for sodium, no hypostasis. Not a lot of sex drive, but there wasn't a ton to begin with. Won't go into the gory details, but I tested the equipment, and it still works. >:(
So, rats.
On the plus side, I gave myself my second shot of E yesterday, and OMFG I freakin' luuuuuurve estrogen!
I mean, it's like the very instant I put the spike in, I started feeling good, and I'm still buzzing today. I. Want. More. Lots more.
I guess I hadn't realized how punk I'd been feeling the day before, and I truly was feeling down in the dumps before I gave myself the shot in the late morning, but I had a very fine day afterwards.
Other physical effects: I can probably imagine myself into thinking my skin is getting a little softer. My nipples feel just the tiniest bit tender. My friend and my tdoc both say they see changes in my face, and sometimes I think I can almost see myself in the mirror, but it's still a long way to go.
Quote from: Battle Goddess on March 22, 2019, 03:09:29 PM
I thought that since I started this topic with the story about my endo, I'd turn it into a log of how my HRT experience is going.
It has been two weeks since we raised my Spiro dose to a high maintenance level. Still not necessarily feeling its typical side effects. I'm not particularly thirsty, nor am I peeing frequently. No cravings for sodium, no hypostasis. Not a lot of sex drive, but there wasn't a ton to begin with. Won't go into the gory details, but I tested the equipment, and it still works. >:(
So, rats.
On the plus side, I gave myself my second shot of E yesterday, and OMFG I freakin' luuuuuurve estrogen!
I mean, it's like the very instant I put the spike in, I started feeling good, and I'm still buzzing today. I. Want. More. Lots more.
I guess I hadn't realized how punk I'd been feeling the day before, and I truly was feeling down in the dumps before I gave myself the shot in the late morning, but I had a very fine day afterwards.
Other physical effects: I can probably imagine myself into thinking my skin is getting a little softer. My nipples feel just the tiniest bit tender. My friend and my tdoc both say they see changes in my face, and sometimes I think I can almost see myself in the mirror, but it's still a long way to go.
I think once it really starts to work you get a euphoric feeling as things change. Going on estrogen seems to be all additions with the exception of sex drive. Additional emotions, added sensation of smell, ability to think clearly and so on. *Adding small amounts of testosterone (after my orchiectomy) fixed the drive problems. I think women have a great thing but they are just used to the benefits. Of course they have to deal with up and down cycles where we avoid that so maybe they don't see it as great?
I wish some of these anti trans "experts" could be put on HRT for a month or two so they had some small clue about a topic they clearly don't get.
Quote from: JanePlain on March 23, 2019, 10:42:46 AM
I think once it really starts to work you get a euphoric feeling as things change. Going on estrogen seems to be all additions with the exception of sex drive. Additional emotions, added sensation of smell, ability to think clearly and so on. *Adding small amounts of testosterone (after my orchiectomy) fixed the drive problems. I think women have a great thing but they are just used to the benefits. Of course they have to deal with up and down cycles where we avoid that so maybe they don't see it as great?
I wish some of these anti trans "experts" could be put on HRT for a month or two so they had some small clue about a topic they clearly don't get.
From what I read between the lines regarding anti trans activists, they would be able to turn their experience around to bite us anyways. It seems to me that they either are extreme black/white thinkers who we terrify, or/and probably have their own deep seated gender discomfort. Honestly, I think the only hope for most of them is to be forced to come to terms due to a loved one. I really feel sorry for any trans child, girl in particular, who draws one of them as a parent. I'm just glad that I'm not so filled with hate. I can't imagine what they are ignoring on the inside and protecting onto us.
Quote from: Battle Goddess on March 22, 2019, 03:09:29 PM
I thought that since I started this topic with the story about my endo, I'd turn it into a log of how my HRT experience is going.
It has been two weeks since we raised my Spiro dose to a high maintenance level. Still not necessarily feeling its typical side effects. I'm not particularly thirsty, nor am I peeing frequently. No cravings for sodium, no hypostasis. Not a lot of sex drive, but there wasn't a ton to begin with. Won't go into the gory details, but I tested the equipment, and it still works. >:(
So, rats.
On the plus side, I gave myself my second shot of E yesterday, and OMFG I freakin' luuuuuurve estrogen!
I mean, it's like the very instant I put the spike in, I started feeling good, and I'm still buzzing today. I. Want. More. Lots more.
I guess I hadn't realized how punk I'd been feeling the day before, and I truly was feeling down in the dumps before I gave myself the shot in the late morning, but I had a very fine day afterwards.
Other physical effects: I can probably imagine myself into thinking my skin is getting a little softer. My nipples feel just the tiniest bit tender. My friend and my tdoc both say they see changes in my face, and sometimes I think I can almost see myself in the mirror, but it's still a long way to go.
Glad to hear you are progressing well! I will hopefully add in E to my blockers this week. It has been hard waiting 6 weeks :)
Congratulations! What form does your doctor prescribe? Topicals, injections or?
Quote from: JanePlain on March 23, 2019, 12:03:37 PM
Congratulations! What form does your doctor prescribe? Topicals, injections or?
It's in my .sig block at the bottom of my posts.
Started with gel, got nowhere, and have recently converted to injections. YMWV.
I must admit that one baseline emotional reaction has not changed. My daughter's boyfriend has been particularly rotten to her lately, and she's suffering for it terribly. I'd like nothing more than to take up a baseball bat and discuss with him why he ought to mend his ways.
You can call me Mama Bear if you want, but Papa Wolf strains to be set free.
I've made the observation that getting my weekly shot feels good. Like REAL good. REALLY REALLY REAL GOOD.
This last Thursday's was no exception. I think I accidentally took a little bit more than recommended. I doubt that it felt any better than with a normal dose, though, so I can put to rest the idea that the euphoria is dose-dependent within a small range. That's cool. I have enough addiction issues without wanting to chase an E high.
All the same, it did leave me with something of a happy buzz. I was getting my highlights redone that morning and ended up in this long discourse with my hair gal about Dante, who is one of my great literary loves. I'm sure she doesn't typically expect to discuss medieval Italian literature with her Clients, but what else can one do?
Had my periodic check-in with Pdoc last Thursday, as well. She asked me to characterize what it felt like to get E, and the best I could think to say was "a flood of well-being." Boy howdy. I'd sure like to take two shots a week - it's Tuesday today, and I'm wearing a little thin.
On the physical front, changes are definitely happening! ;D My nipples are becoming tender, so it's much more comfortable to wear a bralette. I can feel changes in my skin, too - it's becoming softer all over. I mentioned this to my sponsor, and she tested the skin on the back of my hand. Said it felt not only soft, but soft and young. Bonus!
Best of all, I tested the downstairs equipment, and pretty much nobody was home. Just wasn't worth the effort after a while. I'm sorry if this is too much detail for anyone, but it's very affirming to me.
Great to hear that you have found something that helps!
Quote from: Battle Goddess on April 02, 2019, 06:27:28 PM
Best of all, I tested the downstairs equipment, and pretty much nobody was home. Just wasn't worth the effort after a while. I'm sorry if this is too much detail for anyone, but it's very affirming to me.
Everybody must have left my downstairs home a few years ago! Get used to it, it is waste of time and energy!
Grrrr... it's Tuesday, and I don't get my shot until Thursday.
I... want... ESTROGEN!
I heard today that the patches worked really well.
Quote from: Stephk on April 09, 2019, 08:01:05 PM
I heard today that the patches worked really well.
They do, as long as your skin can tolerate them. I had to stop using them because my skin blistered pretty bad under them.
That's all well and good, but endo has me doing injections.
Got a freaking hormone monkey crawling up my back. This is humiliating.
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I hope your appointment went well!! Good luck!
No progesterone for this girl. My endo felt the study was flawed and seemed to have been manipulated! Teenagers get their progesterone come in about two years after the beginning of their ovulation. I am kept at the estrogen level typical for a cis woman on their 10 day of their ovulation period. He prescribed me E to last me 9 months at that level!
He feels that I am currently still at the highest T level i ever will be, and that T will go down even further. T testing will never ever again be required for me.
From now on, for the rest of my life, I will be solely fueled by E!
Give us this day our weekly E.
Bliss.
Actually given yesterday, Friday. Had to wait an extra day because Endo wanted me to get my levels checked (has been a month since switching to injections because gel wasn't working), and he explicitly stated that I needed to do the blood draw in the morning.
He also wanted me to do the draw at the very end of my weekly cycle, before I took my next shot.
Unfortunately, I had stuff to do Thursday morning, so like I said, I couldn't take my weekly shot on Thursday like usual but had to wait until after Friday's trip to the lab.
Guess where that leaves this girl all Thursday? Bitchy, grumpy, and miserable all day. Total PMS. At least I have Spironolactone to help with the bloating. ;)
On the plus side, people are starting to notice changes! Was at Ma's house the other day, and she said I looked "peaceful." Then yesterday she called to say that she realized that it was actually because I'm starting to look more femme! Yayyyyy!
Tdoc and bff say they can see it, too. Tonight we're having a neighborhood party. Let's see if anyone comments.
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Quote from: Battle Goddess on April 13, 2019, 10:12:08 AM
Tdoc and bff say they can see it, too. Tonight we're having a neighborhood party. Let's see if anyone comments.
Yep!
One of the neighbor women who knows me pretty well and sees me often came up and said, "you look different!" Feigning ignorance, I asked her how, then took her into better light. She stood with a quizzical look, so I started prompting her. Hair? New earrings? Have I lost weight? Nope, Nope, Nope. Just couldn't put her finger on it...
:angel:
Aargh. Nipples hurt nipples hurt nipples hurt.
Quote from: Battle Goddess on April 15, 2019, 03:18:09 PM
Aargh. Nipples hurt nipples hurt nipples hurt.
Get used to it. Mine hurt for almost 5 years now!
Nipple hurting is part of female puberty; every girl goes through it some a short time and many for a long time.
Quote from: Dietlind on April 15, 2019, 06:31:05 PM
Get used to it. Mine hurt for almost 5 years now!
Well, aren't
you little Mary Jugs o'Sunshine!
Five years? Yeesh.
My high school girlfriends always seemed to enjoy it when I played with theirs, but if anyone tried fooling with these two, I think I'd give them a black eye.
Quote from: Battle Goddess on April 17, 2019, 12:09:26 AM
Well, aren't you little Mary Jugs o'Sunshine!
Five years? Yeesh.
My high school girlfriends always seemed to enjoy it when I played with theirs, but if anyone tried fooling with these two, I think I'd give them a black eye.
I tell everybody to please not hug me, because they may as well stab me with a red hot knitting needle!
Quote from: Dietlind on April 17, 2019, 12:14:19 AM
I tell everybody to please not hug me, because they may as well stab me with a red hot knitting needle!
Knitting needles in your nipples? And all the trouble you had with your nads?
I am *so* not going to ask about your knees or your nose.
In other news:
My test results came in, and I'm either happy, unhappy, confused, or vexed.
The happy: T has apparently collapsed. Went from 650 ng/dl last month down to 14.
The unhappy: E hasn't budged. After a month of shots, it has only moved from 46 pg/ml to 48.
I am confused for a couple of reasons. It does seem reasonable to think that T should be going down, but I'm not really feeling the classic symptoms of
such a steep drop: no night sweats, no change in body odor, nothing like that. Endo didn't predict anything like this, either. In addition, no change in E? Wtf? I figured we'd need a higher dose than any original attempt simply due to my metabolism, but this is certainly surprising.
And finally, the vexed: my spider-sense tells me that all of this hints at tests that spit out highly variable results. In other words, I'm not sure how seriously one should take these results if they're subject to large fluctuations. So why take them instead of relying on subjective reports from the patient?
Thoughts?
Quote from: Battle Goddess on April 17, 2019, 09:42:12 AM
Knitting needles in your nipples? And all the trouble you had with your nads?
I am *so* not going to ask about your knees or your nose.
In other news:
My test results came in, and I'm either happy, unhappy, confused, or vexed.
The happy: T has apparently collapsed. Went from 650 ng/dl last month down to 14.
The unhappy: E hasn't budged. After a month of shots, it has only moved from 46 pg/ml to 48.
I am confused for a couple of reasons. It does seem reasonable to think that T should be going down, but I'm not really feeling the classic symptoms of such a steep drop: no night sweats, no change in body odor, nothing like that. Endo didn't predict anything like this, either. In addition, no change in E? Wtf? I figured we'd need a higher dose than any original attempt simply due to my metabolism, but this is certainly surprising.
And finally, the vexed: my spider-sense tells me that all of this hints at tests that spit out highly variable results. In other words, I'm not sure how seriously one should take these results if they're subject to large fluctuations. So why take them instead of relying on subjective reports from the patient?
Thoughts?
OK, I am as T-less as they come, it went out of the door with the balls! I did not gt night sweats, I don't think I smell different (my dog does not feel this either). What I feel is that my emotions are definitely not the tough guy stuff anymore, my urine does not smell as strong and is not so deeply colored, and I have to run to the bathroom way more than I used to! That suck it up and hold it for a few more hours does not work anymore, when I have to go, i have to go urgently!
I think my sense of taste has changed a bit. I used to raelly like beer, I can't stand the taste of the stuff anymore!
Quote from: Battle Goddess on April 17, 2019, 09:42:12 AM
In other news:
My test results came in, and I'm either happy, unhappy, confused, or vexed.
The happy: T has apparently collapsed. Went from 650 ng/dl last month down to 14.
The unhappy: E hasn't budged. After a month of shots, it has only moved from 46 pg/ml to 48.
I am confused for a couple of reasons. It does seem reasonable to think that T should be going down, but I'm not really feeling the classic symptoms of such a steep drop: no night sweats, no change in body odor, nothing like that. Endo didn't predict anything like this, either. In addition, no change in E? Wtf? I figured we'd need a higher dose than any original attempt simply due to my metabolism, but this is certainly surprising.
And finally, the vexed: my spider-sense tells me that all of this hints at tests that spit out highly variable results. In other words, I'm not sure how seriously one should take these results if they're subject to large fluctuations. So why take them instead of relying on subjective reports from the patient?
Thoughts?
Update: Just discussed results with Endo. He is as perplexed as I and suspects lab error on both tests. Going in for another draw Friday morning.
Quote from: Battle Goddess on April 17, 2019, 06:12:27 PM
Update: Just discussed results with Endo. He is as perplexed as I and suspects lab error on both tests. Going in for another draw Friday morning.
I hope you have better luck this time around!
Oh yeah. Sweet, sweet, estrogen.
Is there such a thing as the Pink Cloud? I ain't denying it.
I saw Her in the mirror yesterday.
Just a fleeting glimpse, mind you, but my face is definitely changing. I take a photo every day, and the transformation isn't as apparent in them, as the foreshortening limits how much it shows, but even I can't pretend anymore that nothing is happening.
Other new physical phenomena:
- My nipples don't ache like they did a little while ago, but they they're still sore to the touch. Going without a bralette is no longer an an option.
- Two days ago my nipples actually tingled all day. Not particularly pleasant or unpleasant, but too strong to ignore. The sensation was rather like what I get from the electro-stim unit my chiropractor uses on my back. Truly could have done without that.
- Gave the downstairs equipment a test. It still functions for the most part, but my orgasm was completely dry. I recognize that one can't operate under the assumption that one is permanently and irreversibly sterile, but I sure hope so! Feels like one more step along the road away from maleness.
In addition, I imagine that all this has to be doing something suppressive to my prostate. My great-grandfather died of prostate cancer, my grandfather had elevated PSA all through his later years, and my dad was treated for an aggressive prostate cancer at an early age. Clearly, prostate issues run in my family.
My PSA levels have thankfully always been very low. All the same, I hope that anything we can do to prevent what's probably a very susceptible little bugger from giving me life-threatening problems down the road can only be all to the good.
Lab results still aren't back from last Friday's blood draw. Stay tuned.
More unsolicited feedback on my appearance tonight. A woman friend at my AA meeting tonight (who I'm out to) commented that I was "looking good." When I asked if she noticed anything different, she added that I looked "pretty."
All right!
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QuoteLab results still aren't back from last Friday's blood draw. Stay tuned.
Aren't your results available on line? I can check my blood test results a few hours after the vampire strikes. ;)
Quote from: AnneK on April 26, 2019, 05:33:31 AM
Aren't your results available on line? I can check my blood test results a few hours after the vampire strikes. ;)
I think those policies differ from lab to lab. I do my tests with the largest lab in the country, LabCorp, and their policy is to make them available online for the patient eight days after they send them to the doctor!
Quote from: Dietlind on April 26, 2019, 09:18:10 AM
I think those policies differ from lab to lab. I do my tests with the largest lab in the country, LabCorp, and their policy is to make them available online for the patient eight days after they send them to the doctor!
My insurance company sends me to my local Quest lab, and I can view results online whether or not Endo has reviewed them.
Last time they were available within two business days of testing. This time it took five. Meh.
However, they did arrive today.
T: 5 ng/dl. I guess there's no disputing that it's really super low.
E: 122 pg/ml. More consistent with what we've been up to, at least. Endo has made noises in the past about wanting to have E in the 200s at a minimum, so let's see what he says. Won't hear from him until Monday.
Net net: endocrinologically speaking, perhaps I occupy a space that is not exactly male and not exactly female?
Am I even human?
Quote from: Battle Goddess on April 26, 2019, 02:40:53 PM
My insurance company sends me to my local Quest lab, and I can view results online whether or not Endo has reviewed them.
Last time they were available within two business days of testing. This time it took five. Meh.
However, they did arrive today.
T: 5 ng/dl. I guess there's no disputing that it's really super low.
E: 122 pg/ml. More consistent with what we've been up to, at least. Endo has made noises in the past about wanting to have E in the 200s at a minimum, so let's see what he says. Won't hear from him until Monday.
Net net: endocrinologically speaking, perhaps I occupy a space that is not exactly male and not exactly female?
Am I even human?
Your T is about at the same level as mine, it can't go much lower. 200 E would be on the high side, my endo is concerned about DVT when the E is high. He wants me around 140 to 150.
About your question about if yo are human? Well going by your avatar, you might be not, and just might be a staue that looks like a human?
Quote from: Dietlind on April 26, 2019, 03:51:56 PM
Your T is about at the same level as mine, it can't go much lower. 200 E would be on the high side, my endo is concerned about DVT when the E is high. He wants me around 140 to 150.
About your question about if yo are human? Well going by your avatar, you might be not, and just might be a staue that looks like a human?
True, I can be kind of a stiff sometimes.
That's a statuette of the Greek goddess Athena. More on her in another post.
Endo just called. He's fine with my numbers as they are, so no adjustments for now. I asked about his having mentioned shooting for E numbers in the 200s, and he mumbled about the tests being imprecise and said that my E should be up there by the time of my next test.
Come to think about it, I didn't ask him when that should be. We'll have to close that loop.
I feel good about our discussion. I feel fine physically and have plenty of energy, and changes are moving apace. Now that I know to anticipate Cranky Wednesdays, they're a bit more bearable. Don't see any need to press for any changes.
Onward and outward!
Just gave myself my weekly shot.
AND had driven home to me the hazards that healthcare providers face in working around needles and other people's blood, for I took my eye off the tip of the syringe for a only moment afterwards and almost immediately jammed it into the side of my thumb.
Phlebotomists of the world, my respects.
Two kinda cool things to report today:
1) My chest jiggles when I go down the stairs! I'ma be making sure to hold the bannister because I know I'm going to be jogging.
2) Went to get re-vaccinated for the measles (I'm in that special age bracket) at my old pharmacy. Told the pharmacist I'm transitioning. He said I look so much better than I ever did, as though a huge weight has been taken from my shoulders.
Quote from: Battle Goddess on April 26, 2019, 02:40:53 PM
My insurance company sends me to my local Quest lab, and I can view results online whether or not Endo has reviewed them.
Last time they were available within two business days of testing. This time it took five. Meh.
However, they did arrive today.
T: 5 ng/dl. I guess there's no disputing that it's really super low.
E: 122 pg/ml. More consistent with what we've been up to, at least. Endo has made noises in the past about wanting to have E in the 200s at a minimum, so let's see what he says. Won't hear from him until Monday.
Net net: endocrinologically speaking, perhaps I occupy a space that is not exactly male and not exactly female?
Am I even human?
Of course your human but if this helps I don't think there is a cis man with T levels anywhere near that low. I think your E levels would be considered fine for typical cis female levels. Getting them above 200 would be around the max I think? Pam if your around can you comment on this? I did want to say please don't ignore your prostate. It might be less likely to get cancer but there are many reasons for cancer. Genetic stuff is I think a real possibility that might not care what your hormone levels are at. *Although I think lots of estrogen and very little testosterone will make cancer operate in slow motion. Anyway catching that early and not letting your doctor blow it off may save your life! Take care of yourself. Some of us enjoy your posts! ;-)
Quote from: JanePlain on May 07, 2019, 06:54:50 PM
I did want to say please don't ignore your prostate. It might be less likely to get cancer but there are many reasons for cancer. Genetic stuff is I think a real possibility that might not care what your hormone levels are at. *Although I think lots of estrogen and very little testosterone will make cancer operate in slow motion. Anyway catching that early and not letting your doctor blow it off may save your life! Take care of yourself. Some of us enjoy your posts! ;-)
This is very important, because that baby does some unexpected things once in a while. Untreated prostate cancer become, in most cases, bone cancer, and that means the end of the game (and it is extremely painful). early stage prostate cancer can be treated relatively easy.
I have a non functioning (at least not functioning the way it was meant to be) prostate for many years now, but still have my PSA levels checked once a year.
Quote from: JanePlain on May 07, 2019, 06:54:50 PM
Getting E level above 200 would be around the max I think? Pam if your around can you comment on this?
Jane/BattleGoddess/Linde
Yes Jane I agree. Indeed I am advised by my Endo here in UK that the max target E level should be 800 (Intl) which is 218 (US). My E level after 12 months in February was 558 (Intl) or 152 (US).
I recall Linde you stating that in May you were hoping for an E level around mine. I assume you now know the result? Perhaps you could post it on my "Comparison after 12/13 Months" thread on HRT Board which incorporates all E&T results after 3/4 6/7 9/10 and 12/13 months please. Thanking you.
Sending love and happiness to all of you.
Hugs
Pamela xx
Quote from: pamelatransuk on May 08, 2019, 05:07:44 AM
Jane/BattleGoddess/Linde
Yes Jane I agree. Indeed I am advised by my Endo here in UK that the max target E level should be 800 (Intl) which is 218 (US). My E level after 12 months in February was 558 (Intl) or 152 (US).
I recall Linde you stating that in May you were hoping for an E level around mine. I assume you now know the result? Perhaps you could post it on my "Comparison after 12/13 Months" thread on HRT Board which incorporates all E&T results after 3/4 6/7 9/10 and 12/13 months please. Thanking you.
Sending love and happiness to all of you.
Hugs
Pamela xx
My endo was very happy with my E level of about 140, and he plans to keep me at this, with my T around 5. The next blood test is planned for end of October, and he keeps my E dosing at the same level I have been at starting about a week after my orchi.
I do not know how much influence E has on my breast development, because i was close to a B cup when I started with E 6 months ago, and am now close to be a C. The breast seems not to grow any faster than it did prior to starting E. The only things I feel that E does to me, it did change my emotions and eating away on my upper torso strength. I am told that my face got a little rounder, though.
All other measurement parameters do not apply to me, because i never had any hair loss on my head, and never had any hair on my body. I don't think that it influenced my slow beard growth either. I still have to shave once or twice a week.
Quote from: Dietlind on May 07, 2019, 07:19:19 PM
This is very important, because that baby does some unexpected things once in a while. Untreated prostate cancer become, in most cases, bone cancer, and that means the end of the game (and it is extremely painful). early stage prostate cancer can be treated relatively easy.
I have a non functioning (at least not functioning the way it was meant to be) prostate for many years now, but still have my PSA levels checked once a year.
That is good! Something to ponder. Discovering you have cancer is harder now with this attitude that since some forms of prostate cancer are slow growing and something else will probably kill you. So why bother looking for cancer? Besides testing for cancer costs insurance companies money. And I'm pretty sure they would prefer not paying.
So the one test that we have (PSA) is becoming an only if you ask type of thing. There are detractors saying because PSA testing is not perfect we should go with no PSA. So now what? As far as I know the PSA is still the only test so since its not perfect you just aren't tested.
Yes most doctors still do a DRE (Digital Rectal Exam) and by digit we are talking about your doctors finger not a digital computer. The DRE is better then nothing but its only going to detect cancer if the tumor has grown to a fairly large size. In addition the tumor has to be in the right place to be detected. And when you have the "bad" kind of cancer you might be told there is a problem after the DRE but its already too late.
Anyway I think it gets worse because when you are diagnosed with cancer doctors are now giving you the option of "Watchful Waiting" which is to do nothing and hope you have the slow growing cancer. When you think about the typical male patients who are doctor phobic. What are the odds they will choose avoiding doctors / treatment? I spoke to a urologist about this and asked, "If you had prostate cancer what are the odds that he would choose "watchful waiting" over other options like surgical removal (Which if done soon enough removes all of the cancer) or radiation. The doctor very quietly told me "zero"
QuoteSo the one test that we have (PSA) is becoming an only if you ask type of thing.
Because of BPH, my urologist has asked my doctor to include the PSA test on the blood tests for my physicals. I also get "the finger". ;)
As for being reliable, my impression was that the PSA test is nothing more than an indicator that further testing is needed, rather than proof in itself.
Quote from: JanePlain on May 08, 2019, 01:48:15 PM
Yes most doctors still do a DRE (Digital Rectal Exam) and by digit we are talking about your doctors finger not a digital computer.
I'm fine with getting my annual DRE.
I just wish my doctor didn't seem to enjoy it so much.
:o
Quote from: Battle Goddess on May 08, 2019, 02:05:43 PM
I'm fine with getting my annual DRE.
I just wish my doctor didn't seem to enjoy it so much.
:o
:rimshot:
Quote from: Battle Goddess on May 08, 2019, 02:05:43 PM
I'm fine with getting my annual DRE.
I just wish my doctor didn't seem to enjoy it so much.
My doctor is female. ;)
BTW, I prefer female doctors, so mine, along with dentist and optometrist are female. However, the specialists I've been referred to have all but one been male, including my urologist. I don't enjoy a male poking around those parts. I also find the male doctors tend to have more of an attitude about things like my nail polish. The exception being the endocrinologist that prescribed my HRT.
Quote from: Battle Goddess on May 08, 2019, 02:11:45 PM
:rimshot:
Sorry. Couldn't resist.
Anyway, one more new phenomenon. Went to see tdoc today. Her offices have gendered bathrooms out in the hallway with locks on their doors, and they're fine with my using the women's. Unfortunately, when I went to grab a key today, only the men's was available.
Okay, whatever. Keep in mind that I'd be deluding myself if I thought I pass. To be in a place where it's safe to use the ladies' room is a treat.
But when I got into the men's room, a real feeling of alienation crept over me. A sense of squick. It just felt icky, hinky, unnerving, not right. Deep down, it felt like I didn't belong there.
This, to me, is a sign of my deepening acceptance of who I am. I'm moving beyond having realized the truth of the matter and having decided to try to stop fighting it but still being shell-shocked by the whole thing. I think I'm getting to the point of, "Well, duh. Who did you think you were, and where did you think you belonged?"
It's as though I've sailed past a faint dotted line somewhere, a liminal boundary.
My internal representation of myself is changing, and changing fast.
Something tells me I'm going to have to run fast to keep up with it.
Quote from: JanePlain on May 08, 2019, 01:48:15 PM
Anyway I think it gets worse because when you are diagnosed with cancer doctors are now giving you the option of "Watchful Waiting" which is to do nothing and hope you have the slow growing cancer. When you think about the typical male patients who are doctor phobic. What are the odds they will choose avoiding doctors / treatment? I spoke to a urologist about this and asked, "If you had prostate cancer what are the odds that he would choose "watchful waiting" over other options like surgical removal (Which if done soon enough removes all of the cancer) or radiation. The doctor very quietly told me "zero"
My brother in law and a friend did not like to go to the doctor, because thy felt they were never sick. Both died on a very painful version of bone cancer, because their prostate cancer was not discovered!
Quote from: Dietlind on May 08, 2019, 07:08:17 PM
My brother in law and a friend did not like to go to the doctor, because thy felt they were never sick. Both died on a very painful version of bone cancer, because their prostate cancer was not discovered!
I'm so sorry to hear that. I noted that in a male (only) waiting room every single guy (Which was a lot) had his wife or girlfriend with him. Who I have no doubt dragged them in. The PSA test is not perfect. A perfect one would just say cancer or not. PSA results need to be monitored for a sudden rise. And I shudder to comment on the bone cancer but yes this is a horrible way to go. Painful to the point where narcotics don't work. Prostate cancer can also spread to the brain which is a double horrible way to die. One of my relatives went that way and it was torture to watch. Gosh do I ever agree with you all about male doctors. They are just the worst. Zero empathy and just plain rude. Some of the things I've heard male doctors say while I was supposed to be out still burn me up.
After reading this about prostate cancer I think its time for me to get checked. I have never been checked in my life and im 53 guess its time
Quote from: Quinn on May 09, 2019, 05:00:28 AM
After reading this about prostate cancer I think its time for me to get checked. I have never been checked in my life and im 53 guess its time
Assuming to regularly go to the doctor, I'm surprised you haven't been.. My doctor started giving me the finger years ago. ;)
when I was younger I would go maybe every few years but it was always the same doctor from 19 to 50 yrs switched to Kaiser when I decided to transition because they seemed like they had the best care for it. And have been to so many doctor during the last three years and no one ever mentioned anything about it .
I honestly never thought about the prostate and embarrassed to say have no idea what it does but im going to be proactive and make an appointment to get it checked after reading this thread
If you're over 50 they should be doing the digital exam once a year and PSA as part of regular blood tests. I never went to the doctor much but did start annual visits when I turned 50. That turned into 4 times a year with transition. I'm back down to twice a year regular visits now.
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
QuoteI honestly never thought about the prostate and embarrassed to say have no idea what it does
Cancer aside, you're at the age when BPH (enlarged prostate) often appears. This makes it more and more difficult to urinate and can cause damage to the bladder and kidneys. This is why I'm on dutasteride. As for prostate cancer, the finger test and PSA levels are used to determine whether it might be there, though proof requires a biopsy.
Quote from: JanePlain on May 09, 2019, 01:21:27 AM
I'm so sorry to hear that. I noted that in a male (only) waiting room every single guy (Which was a lot) had his wife or girlfriend with him. Who I have no doubt dragged them in. The PSA test is not perfect. A perfect one would just say cancer or not. PSA results need to be monitored for a sudden rise. And I shudder to comment on the bone cancer but yes this is a horrible way to go. Painful to the point where narcotics don't work. Prostate cancer can also spread to the brain which is a double horrible way to die. One of my relatives went that way and it was torture to watch. Gosh do I ever agree with you all about male doctors. They are just the worst. Zero empathy and just plain rude. Some of the things I've heard male doctors say while I was supposed to be out still burn me up.
Brain cancer is commonly the end stage of bone cancer. By the way, breast cancer goes a similar route as prostate cancer if not treated in time. Breast exams are very important, for us trans ladies, too. It is easy to do a self exam, at least once a week. I do it daily because this way my fingers get a memory of how the normal tissue feels, and will detect any unnormal tissue very fast!
I do not understand your negativ experiences with male doctors. I never have been seen by a female doctor, but am pretty happy with the treatment of my male doctors. It might be different for me, because all know that I am a member of that profession, too?
I think you have as many bad male as female doctors, female doctors may hide it under a better facade?
I have an endo who is an idiot (in my eyes), but that has nothing to do with male or female, he is just an idiot, but I am stuck with him.
Quote from: Quinn on May 09, 2019, 06:15:17 AM
when I was younger I would go maybe every few years but it was always the same doctor from 19 to 50 yrs switched to Kaiser when I decided to transition because they seemed like they had the best care for it. And have been to so many doctor during the last three years and no one ever mentioned anything about it .
I honestly never thought about the prostate and embarrassed to say have no idea what it does but im going to be proactive and make an appointment to get it checked after reading this thread
here you can read anyting you wanted ever to know about that baby!
https://www.webmd.com/urinary-incontinence-oab/picture-of-the-prostate#1
QuoteI think you have as many bad male as female doctors, female doctors may hide it under a better facade?
I have an endo who is an idiot (in my eyes), but that has nothing to do with male or female, he is just an idiot, but I am stuck with him.
My issue with some male doctors is not competence but attitude.
Quote from: Dietlind on May 09, 2019, 08:02:20 AM
here you can read anyting you wanted ever to know about that baby!
https://www.webmd.com/urinary-incontinence-oab/picture-of-the-prostate#1
I've seen the movie! ;)
My urologist has used an endoscope on me a couple of times, with the display on a monitor right where I could watch.
Quote from: AnneK on May 09, 2019, 08:04:14 AM
My issue with some male doctors is not competence but attitude.
Tell them if you feel treated wrong! You are their customer, speak up! Or go to another doc. I had a urologist telling me that he does not like to castrate healthy men, well, he did not earn the money for my orchi, I went to one who did not mind to take my balls!
You are not married to any doctor! I don't know the attitudes of female doctors, because I never had one. The wife of a friend was a doctor, and we agreed that it would not be good, if she would see me as a patient
Anne I have already had an orchi so T is not an issue with me and have never had an issue peeing so that is good. But still will be seeing doctor I guess for physical exam. Cant imagine with all the blood I have given for transition they have not checked it
Quinn
A PSA test is not automatic. The doctor will only request one when they think it's necessary. If you have questions about this, your doctor is the one to ask, as the people here have no idea what your full medical history is.
Please note, I am not a doctor and I don't play one on TV. ;)
Quote from: Quinn on May 09, 2019, 05:00:28 AM
After reading this about prostate cancer I think its time for me to get checked. I have never been checked in my life and im 53 guess its time
Men live significantly shorter lifespans. Women have yearly encounters with a doctor every year after age 12 or 13. The last time most men have seen a doctor was when their mom took them. Why women live longer doesn't seem like a mystery to me :D If men did get checked in the Military they probably are even more doctor phobic.
I believe that yearly physicals and labs are a must. I am pretty sure that doctors have signed on to this idea that PSA tests are optional. I believe I was told at age 50 you should have had a colonoscopy and start doing yearly psa, DRE, Lipids, and all the generic labs I can't think of for some reason. If you have information you can do something. If you don't have information your driving around the race track blindfolded.
Quote from: AnneK on May 09, 2019, 08:06:37 AM
I've seen the movie! ;)
My urologist has used an endoscope on me a couple of times, with the display on a monitor right where I could watch.
Arg its even worse then I thought. The DRE doesn't seem to come close to feeling the prostate other then maybe the half side (or less)
Battle Goddess,
Congratulations! I understand what you mean. I know I want to do this but before my first injection, I was like afraid. IDK of what. I guess of not knowing. And after the first two shots (that I had to just due without really thinking about) it became super easy and now Im always excited for my HRT!
Quote from: JanePlain on May 09, 2019, 06:54:04 PM
I believe that yearly physicals and labs are a must. I am pretty sure that doctors have signed on to this idea that PSA tests are optional. I believe I was told at age 50 you should have had a colonoscopy and start doing yearly psa, DRE, Lipids, and all the generic labs I can't think of for some reason. If you have information you can do something. If you don't have information your driving around the race track blindfolded.
Every year for me. Though I cancelled my last one and set up a new appointment with a new doctor as the old one retired. Figured she needed a baseline as I'm hardly "normal."
Quote from: notaprofessionaljustapro on May 12, 2019, 03:54:13 PM
Battle Goddess,
Congratulations! I understand what you mean. I know I want to do this but before my first injection, I was like afraid. IDK of what. I guess of not knowing. And after the first two shots (that I had to just due without really thinking about) it became super easy and now Im always excited for my HRT!
I couldn't wait to start. I took my first pill as soon as I got home from the pharmacy. I was even tempted to take it right in the store! I just knew I needed to take those pills.
@@battle goddessIn response to the post that started this thread: It sounds like your GP really was in touch with the community, and kinda saw that you needed a nudge and almost as cool as my GP. She responded to the news I had figured out I was transgender by spinning back around on the stool to look at me with an ear to ear grin of happiness for me saying "That's AWESOME!" I was kinda prepared for a variety of reactions and that one was so not on the list. I am grateful for it as it was my first truly positive recognition I had gotten.
I hope your trip on the e-train is as fun and exhilarating as the one I am on, or better.
Ricki
There's always a darkly humorous scene in TG fiction where the protagonist, having been turned into a woman overnight, goes to the bathroom mirror and bounces up and down to make his tits jiggle.
Damned if I didn't do that today.
Quote from: Battle Goddess on May 16, 2019, 04:43:58 PM
There's always a darkly humorous scene in TG fiction where the protagonist, having been turned into a woman overnight, goes to the bathroom mirror and bounces up and down to make his tits jiggle.
Damned if I didn't do that today.
YES!!!!! Congrats! Way to go! Cheers!
sigh...I can't do that yet.....YET!
Ricki
Quote from: Ricki Wright on May 17, 2019, 01:36:54 PM
YES!!!!! Congrats! Way to go! Cheers!
sigh...I can't do that yet.....YET!
Ricki
Never said I wasn't grossly overoptimistic.
A challenging day today. Started out writing what I thought would be kind of a lighthearted piece, and man, that sucker turned dark on me! If you want to read it, I posted it under the heading "Snowballing."
Went and read it to tdoc. My day-to-day accent is the "educated upper middle-class white American" one that broadcasters use, but when stressed, I drop back into the Southern/Appalachian that I had when I learned to talk. I could sense that as I got to the end of the piece I had shifted into full-on Southern.
What surprised me was tdoc complimenting me on how well my femme voice is coming along. Now, you have to understand that I have a beautiful, rich baritone voice. It's like Johnny Cash over honey. People love it, and I've been encouraged more than once to become a voice actor. So when out of the blue, tdoc says that I'm making great progress, the first words out of my mouth are, "What femme voice?"
Apparently, during these stressful moments, I had not only shifted accents but also shifted registers and resonances. I'm writing this note six hours afterwards, and I can feel the muscles in my throat sore from being worked differently than they're used to.
This transition stuff is getting too bizarre.
When I get stressed my voice gets more femme. And I can hear the rising pitch as I finish my last sentence.
Quote from: Maid Marion on May 20, 2019, 06:53:37 PM
When I get stressed my voice gets more femme. And I can hear the rising pitch as I finish my last sentence.
In fact she pointed out that I'd gone from my usual chest and abdominal resonances to oral and nasal resonances, which she says aren't controlled so much by vocal cords as musculature, and that are often dictated by culture as gender markers.
I've lately taken to consciously listening for that; maybe subconsciously I've figured out how to mimic it. I'm a p good mimic.
I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror the other day in my bra and panties, putting on my makeup as I got ready to go out, and the thought occurred to me that something has changed in my life...
Vincent on his way to see Mia. Me on my way to see Tdoc.
Yeah. It's Estrogen Day.
Mmmmmmmm
https://youtu.be/TPd4ZpzIFtk
Battle Goddess,
I don't know if anyone else caught the Pulp Fiction reference...but I certainly did! I LOVE that movie!