My wife is Japanese. She is finding it difficult to understand me (mtf) and needs help and support.
Are there any Japanese online groups where she can ask her questions and find support?
Tsuma wa nihojin desu. Kanojo wa watashi no transu-jenda no koto (otoko kara onna ni naritai) ga wakarimasen. Tasukete ga irimasu. Watashi no nihongo ga amari yokunai to tsuma no eigo wa transu no koto ga wakarimasen.
Nihongo no webusaito ga arimasu ka? Kazoku/tsuma no tasukete ga arimasu ka?
Gomen nasai... watashi no nihongo wakarimasu ka?
arigatou gozaimasu.
Hi, Alice
I've made less than 500 posts so the site terms of service don't allow me to post links. However, perhaps googling the following may be of some help
The Okayama University has a support program for families undergoing treatment. Several other universities do as well, and I'm pretty sure they would be willing to point you to the right direction.
岡山大学病院ジェンダークリニック
This NPO caters to both those with GID and their families. They also have an online counseling corner.
NPO法人 性同一性障害支援機構
An association for family and friends.
lgbtの家族と友人をつなぐ会
There are many, many more, but I believe you're looking for something that has sections meant for family support. I myself have no experience with any trans support group, organization or association, but the ones I mention here look a bit promising. Given a bit of time I could try to find out a bit more—but at least I hope this may help get you started.
thank you zirconia. Do you know if there are any forums where she would be able to chat with wives and husbands who are facing a similar situation. I think part of it is that she never believed that this was more than just the occasional cross dressing 'for fun' and now the penny has finally dropped that this isn't about cross dressing it is much much deeper. And part of the problem is that she feels utterly alone... some of that is my fault and I am addressing it... but if she had somewhere to chat with other people in Japanese, I think it would help her a lot.
love
Alice
Hi, Alice,
I've searched for forums open to the public for a few hours now, but couldn't find anything specifically for spouses or family. Most sites open to the public that I did find were personal blogs that offer information to transgender individuals themselves. While one non-public site looks like it just might possibly contain something, I'd have to become a member to find out—and to do that I would need an invitation or a referral.
This being the case, at the moment the Okayama University connection I mentioned earlier looks the most promising. The university hosts the Japan GID Association, and consequently is likely to have the most information on additional resources.
For what it's worth, membership in the Japan GID Association is available to the parties concerned and their families. The annual membership fee is two or three thousand yen. In lieu of a link, please try googling:
"GID (性同一性障害) 学会"
—the relevant page should be on the top.
I wish I had more to offer, but since I myself don't belong to any relevant group or organization I'd have do some more sleuthing, and most likely make a personal visit to assess whether what I may find would be safe to recommend.
Come to think of it, it does seem a bit curious that there seems to be so little interfamily association. On the other hand, people in Japan don't rely on counseling or group support at all in the same way they do in the West. The society is much more oriented toward the family on one hand and community as a whole on the other.
That's perhaps why e.g. even the Okayama family group (not the association) is headed by an individual that is receiving treatment at the university, rather than the university itself. Her personal site, by the way, can be found by googling
"ナオコの不定期日記"
Again, my apologies for not being able to find anything better.
Thank you Zirconia, you've done more than I could ask.
love
Alice
Alice,
I just wish I could do more. Feeling alone never helps.
Do you live anywhere near London, by the way? It has a pretty sizable Japanese community, and there might be a very slight chance someone is in or has at some time experienced a similar situation. It would be a very long shot, but the people at the Japan Society are very nice—or at least were when I last transacted with them—and whilst it would be not at all in their field they do have a pretty wide social network and so might just possibly know of some local resources.
I live in the northeast... we've got a really big Japanese community here and they're all gossips. I would only trust one of them to keep things quiet. I am tempted to encourage my wife to confide in her for support but I think at the moment my wife is deeply embarrassed about me.
Tonight I was talking to her about the need to see the doctor for some medication to control my mood swings that are beginning to resemble bipolar. She can cope with bipolar, it gives her something to latch on to when we are talking and I think she is blaming the mood swings for the dysphoria when it is the other way round.
Thank you for your help and concern.
love
Alice