It's still a few more days to my first appointment for therapy so I figured I would make my own page like others to document my progress and have some fun. I'm probably going to post some silly random stuff but that's me. :)
Wish me luck she writes me the letter sooner than later. I'm ready to get this HRT started.
If you want to know more about me here is my intro page https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,234289.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,234289.0.html)
Fun Time!
I thought everyone would get a kick out of this, so here goes.
I am getting better at makeup and taking it off. I use the neutrogena wipes to remove it and am getting used to the feel of removing it. Late last night I removed it without the mirror for the first time because I was so tired. This morning I get up and go out to the shop. (I own a machine shop, I know a girl machinist.. who would have thought LOL) Anyway my neighbor came over looking to borrow a wrench. We talked about 10 minutes about random crap and he left. Later I go inside and my GF say's "Whats that on your eye?" I go look in the mirror and had missed some maskcara. OMG I just talked to the neighbor with maskcara on. LOL
I assume that things like that will happen until I come out to everyone but its all fun to me. I think I'm past the caring who knows part now. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
What wonderful fun we will have following your adventures! This is a great way to keep an open diary. Looking forward to more of your makeup adventures!
Smiles, Jessica
As someone who still presents as a guy, I wear mascara daily. Guys do not notice at all...ever. But girls notice instantly lol
You look great by the way :)
Quote from: Jessica on February 21, 2018, 01:33:06 PM
What wonderful fun we will have following your adventures! This is a great way to keep an open diary. Looking forward to more of your makeup adventures!
Smiles, Jessica
I got a feeling its going to be like my teenage years all over again. If you like silly you will have a good time here. LOL
Quote from: CallMeKatie on February 21, 2018, 01:34:14 PM
As someone who still presents as a guy, I wear mascara daily. Guys do not notice at all...ever. But girls notice instantly lol
You look great by the way :)
I haven't got to the point of wearing it out in public just yet but, its coming. :)
Thank you very much for the complements!
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea1807 on February 21, 2018, 11:59:29 AM
(I own a machine shop, I know a girl machinist.. who would have thought LOL) Anyway my neighbor came over looking to borrow a wrench. We talked about 10 minutes about random crap and he left. Later I go inside and my GF say's "Whats that on your eye?" I go look in the mirror and had missed some maskcara. OMG I just talked to the neighbor with maskcara on. LOL
He probably thought it was grease or something...ya know, from your machine shop... ;)
-Julie
Quote from: JulieAllana on February 21, 2018, 07:04:55 PM
He probably thought it was grease or something...ya know, from your machine shop... ;)
-Julie
I might have worked but It had some glitter in it LOL.
Quote from: Chelsea1807 on February 21, 2018, 11:59:29 AM
It's still a few more days to my first appointment for therapy so I figured I would make my own page like others to document my progress and have some fun. I'm probably going to post some silly random stuff but that's me. :)
Wish me luck she writes me the letter sooner than later. I'm ready to get this HRT started.
Fun Time!
I thought everyone would get a kick out of this, so here goes.
I am getting better at makeup and taking it off. I use the neutrogena wipes to remove it and am getting used to the feel of removing it. Late last night I removed it without the mirror for the first time because I was so tired. This morning I get up and go out to the shop. (I own a machine shop, I know a girl machinist.. who would have thought LOL) Anyway my neighbor came over looking to borrow a wrench. We talked about 10 minutes about random crap and he left. Later I go inside and my GF say's "Whats that on your eye?" I go look in the mirror and had missed some maskcara. OMG I just talked to the neighbor with maskcara on. LOL
I assume that things like that will happen until I come out to everyone but its all fun to me. I think I'm past the caring who knows part now. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
I love makeup! But, I've rubbed my eyes before and I ended up looking like a raccoon in public, lol!
Hi Chelsea, nice to meet you!
Quote from: fleurgirl on February 21, 2018, 07:22:51 PM
I love makeup! But, I've rubbed my eyes before and I ended up looking like a raccoon in public, lol!
I love makeup too. I will have to remember that. I'm used to rubbing my eyes anytime without thinking about it. :)
Quote from: VaxSpyder on February 21, 2018, 08:24:37 PM
Hi Chelsea, nice to meet you!
Hi! Nice to meet you too!
Update I just came out to my best friend!
Everything is all good with us. His first response was "Your gonna help me work on my cars no matter what nail color you got on." LOL It feels like a big weight just got lifted off my shoulders. I have been friends with him sense childhood and have worried about telling him for a long time. I know i will have some friends that probably won't talk
to me anymore but, that's OK because I have to do whats best for yours truly. :) 2 down and a lot more to go.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea1807 on February 21, 2018, 09:46:42 PM
I just came out to my best friend!
Everything is all good with us.
YAY! I have told some friends who I knew would be accepting, and I have a couple that I am really stressed about telling. You have the good kind! Congratz!
Quote from: JulieAllana on February 21, 2018, 10:26:49 PM
YAY! I have told some friends who I knew would be accepting, and I have a couple that I am really stressed about telling. You have the good kind! Congratz!
I have only came out to two people and have a lot more to go. I have two family members that I am the most fearful
about telling. I get nervous just thinking about it.
Hugs
Quote from: Chelsea1807 on February 21, 2018, 07:17:28 PM
I might have worked but It had some glitter in it LOL.
Iron filings from the lathe! It still works. :D
Funniest thing just happened, well not to funny at the time. I have been feeling more comfortable with myself about transitioning sense I started posting here. I just made a run to Taco Bell and had to stop for gas on the way back because the car said distance to empty was like 4 miles. I stopped and was pumping gas and just felt like something was not right. I looked down and was wearing Chelsea's pink Skechers. Thank god there was only one other person there at the time. I could feel my face get hot, I was so embarrassed. Cars driving by and it was one of those slow old pumps. The first time out for me is going to be rough I can feel it. :)
Quote from: KathyLauren on February 23, 2018, 11:57:05 AM
Iron filings from the lathe! It still works. :D
See I never can think of things that fast. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea1807 on February 23, 2018, 08:18:52 PM
Funniest thing just happened, well not to funny at the time. I have been feeling more comfortable with myself about transitioning sense I started posting here. I just made a run to Taco Bell and had to stop for gas on the way back because the car said distance to empty was like 4 miles. I stopped and was pumping gas and just felt like something was not right. I looked down and was wearing Chelsea's pink Sketchers. Thank god there was only one other person there at the time. I could feel my face get hot, I was so embarrassed. Cars driving by and it was one of those slow old pumps. The first time out for me is going to be rough I can feel it. :)
See I never can think of things that fast. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
Oh my dear Chelsea pink sketchers in a gas station... let me tell you about the Time I filled up my pickup at a busy truck stop/ gsa station 3 or 4 states away from home.....
"The rest of the trip to Missouri would have been uneventful had I not locked myself out of my truck. There is one distinct advantage men have over women... Pockets! Had I been traveling in male mode this would not have happened. My wallet would have been in one pocket and my keys in another. I also probably not have been locking the doors because my purse was being left inside the truck.
I had plannned on paying at the pump, pumping my gas, and driving off down the road again. Locking the keys inside with me on the outside sort of put a crimp in those plans. So there I was having to perform the classic damsel in distress play in real life. How embarrassing! Having to go inside and explain my predicament to one person who led me to another that dialed a phone for me so I could get the locksmith to come unlock the truck. I explained he would be looking for a woman and described my pickup for him. I then went back outside after thanking the people that helped me and waited beside the truck in the very busy gas station until he arrived and let me back in. It was not the kind of real world female experience I was looking for. *sigh* But as you can tell I survived it."
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Chelsea1807 on February 23, 2018, 08:18:52 PM
The first time out for me is going to be rough I can feel it. :)
Take a road trip and we'll go out together!
Quote from: Laurie on February 23, 2018, 08:44:09 PM
Oh my dear Chelsea pink sketchers in a gas station... let me tell you about the Time I filled up my pickup at a busy truck stop/ gsa station 3 or 4 states away from home.....
"The rest of the trip to Missouri would have been uneventful had I not locked myself out of my truck. There is one distinct advantage men have over women... Pockets! Had I been traveling in male mode this would not have happened. My wallet would have been in one pocket and my keys in another. I also probably not have been locking the doors because my purse was being left inside the truck.
I had plannned on paying at the pump, pumping my gas, and driving off down the road again. Locking the keys inside with me on the outside sort of put a crimp in those plans. So there I was having to perform the classic damsel in distress play in real life. How embarrassing! Having to go inside and explain my predicament to one person who led me to another that dialed a phone for me so I could get the locksmith to come unlock the truck. I explained he would be looking for a woman and described my pickup for him. I then went back outside after thanking the people that helped me and waited beside the truck in the very busy gas station until he arrived and let me back in. It was not the kind of real world female experience I was looking for. *sigh* But as you can tell I survived it."
Hugs,
Laurie
OMG I would have died. You got me beat by miles on that. The pink shoes was enough for me. lol
Quote from: JulieAllana on February 23, 2018, 09:36:49 PM
Take a road trip and we'll go out together!
Girl you would have to drag me out of the car lol.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea1807 on February 24, 2018, 01:22:10 AM
OMG I would have died. You got me beat by miles on that. The pink shoes was enough for me. lol
Girl you would have to drag me out of the car lol.
Hugs,
Chelsea
If you don't mind me asking Chelsea, what part of the country are you in? I am in Oregon near Portland.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Quote from: Laurie on February 24, 2018, 01:36:00 AM
If you don't mind me asking Chelsea, what part of the country are you in? I am in Oregon near Portland.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
I live in the Tennessee. About 45 minutes from Knoxville. Or 4 hours from Nashville.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Someday you may meet Laurie. She have been known to be in that area before.
Quote from: Laurie on February 24, 2018, 01:52:34 AM
Someday you may meet Laurie. She have been known to be in that area before.
Your welcome any time. Maybe by that time I will have got the nerve to go out in public. :)
I been trying to use Photobucket as a image host with no luck. I signed up with Imgur last night.
Crazy thing is that I have used Photobucket for years with no issues. O well.
Loving my teal nail polish! :)
(https://i.imgur.com/uRcs0Av.jpg)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hi Chelsea,
It is nice to see you in another photo. Redhead this time huh? It is a good look for you too. I think I am a little partial to the darker hair though. I mean first impressions and all. sigh But I have come to understand that woman have a need to change things up. Sometimes I think it's done for shock value. I remember one time my ex went to the beauty salon and came home with a MASS of curls on her head. She literally peeked around the open door to ask if it was okay to come in. It was a shock, but it was funny too that she was not sure how I would react to it. But then her apprehension was understandable given how much of a domineering, controlling jerk I was back then. I have many many regrets that haunt me from those times that should have been good times.
Teal huh? You younger ladies can rock those colors but not us old biddies. Its pinks and reds for me. Given that premise your nails do look nice. And as always girl, if it floats your boat, go for it with gusto! Life should be lived for love, joy and happiness.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on February 23, 2018, 08:44:09 PM
Oh my dear Chelsea pink sketchers in a gas station... let me tell you about the Time I filled up my pickup at a busy truck stop/ gsa station 3 or 4 states away from home.....
"The rest of the trip to Missouri would have been uneventful had I not locked myself out of my truck. There is one distinct advantage men have over women... Pockets! Had I been traveling in male mode this would not have happened. My wallet would have been in one pocket and my keys in another. I also probably not have been locking the doors because my purse was being left inside the truck.
I had plannned on paying at the pump, pumping my gas, and driving off down the road again. Locking the keys inside with me on the outside sort of put a crimp in those plans. So there I was having to perform the classic damsel in distress play in real life. How embarrassing! Having to go inside and explain my predicament to one person who led me to another that dialed a phone for me so I could get the locksmith to come unlock the truck. I explained he would be looking for a woman and described my pickup for him. I then went back outside after thanking the people that helped me and waited beside the truck in the very busy gas station until he arrived and let me back in. It was not the kind of real world female experience I was looking for. *sigh* But as you can tell I survived it."
Hugs,
Laurie
Not exactly the same experianc efor me but ive only been fully dressing for couple months now and only for certain things. I am 24/7 now. Anyways i had gone to my doctors for a 07:00 appointment and i called home to see how my wife was doing. She informed my she needed smoke and asked if i could stop and grab some. So im fully fem and uncertain about adding more adventures but decided to stop at the first 7/11 i came upon. Wouldnt you know it it was packed with people heading to work ond here i am fully dressed fem but still sporting my beard and moustache. Figured what the heck and in i went. Got in line and bought the smokes and of course the deep voice drew even more looks. I survived without a comment or issue and the world did not end. That's when i decided full time was now time and the facial hair disappeared.
Quote from: Laurie on February 24, 2018, 02:49:51 PM
Hi Chelsea,
It is nice to see you in another photo. Redhead this time huh? It is a good look for you too. I think I am a little partial to the darker hair though. I mean first impressions and all. sigh But I have come to understand that woman have a need to change things up. Sometimes I think it's done for shock value. I remember one time my ex went to the beauty salon and came home with a MASS of curls on her head. She literally peeked around the open door to ask if it was okay to come in. It was a shock, but it was funny too that she was not sure how I would react to it. But then her apprehension was understandable given how much of a domineering, controlling jerk I was back then. I have many many regrets that haunt me from those times that should have been good times.
Teal huh? You younger ladies can rock those colors but not us old biddies. Its pinks and reds for me. Given that premise your nails do look nice. And as always girl, if it floats your boat, go for it with gusto! Life should be lived for love, joy and happiness.
Hugs,
Laurie
My natural hair color is red but its a dark auburn red. Not "Ronald McDonald Red" like the one in the photo. Its just a cheap cosplay wig. I like the darker color too. I need to find a good lace wig until my natural hair grows. Its only about
2 inches long so, It's going to be a long wait. The silly choker is just to hide the ugly thing in the middle of my throat.
I hate my adams apple and can't wait to have that awful thing removed.
As far as the nail polish goes, its actually Createx Air brush paint. I used to airbrush a little. It washes off under hot water in just a few seconds. Its good for people like me that has not "came out" to everyone just yet. LOL
Hugs,
Chelsea
Donna,
Oh my! Spouses do ask us to do things for them at the most opportune times don't they. I don't think I could have done what you did at that stage. Kudos to you for doing it.
Chelsea,
Oh yes girl I know all about the quick change times. I cross dressed up until I discovered I was trans and could transition in Dec of 2016. Lipstick was also my problem getting off. Did you know even the pale pinks can stain your lips red? I've even used cigarette ashes to try and make it less noticeable.
I have a cheap cosplay wig that I actually like and used to wear before this one. It had a very light lavender tint to it. Then I put up a picture of the one I have on in my avatar and everyone like it better so I wear it now.
This is the other on.
(https://i.imgur.com/sKOUqfV.jpg)
Hugs,
Laurie
So tomorrow is my first appointment and the nerves are starting to show themselves. I have not been able
to work today because of it. The reality of what I'm about to get into is coming and it's scary. I have been thinking
the "I'm I doing the right thing?" all day. I have no doubt that I am transgender but I guess most people feel this way
when starting transition.
Wish me luck everyone. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea1807 on February 25, 2018, 03:42:26 PM
So tomorrow is my first appointment and the nerves are starting to show themselves. I have not been able
to work today because of it. The reality of what I'm about to get into is coming and it's scary. I have been thinking
the "I'm I doing the right thing?" all day. I have no doubt that I am transgender but I guess most people feel this way
when starting transition.
Wish me luck everyone. :)
Best wishes and good luck. Hoping for the best for you girl and you can do it.
Lots of love Donna
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea1807 on February 25, 2018, 03:42:26 PMI have no doubt that I am transgender but I guess most people feel this way when starting transition.
Wish me luck everyone. :)
I think every one of us who are ahead of you on this road have been where you are and know exactly how you feel. And we all wish you good luck. You'll be fine. :)
I was soooooo nervous when I started to transition in may of 2017 now I would never even consider going back not even for 1 second I wish you luck the road ahead is rough but the skies are blue
bobbisue :)
Yes Chelsea as those before me have said what you are feeling are the butterflies in your tummy and the squirrels in you head. They pester all of us at various times. You can do this Hun and you will be fine.
Hugs,
Laurie
Let us know how it went ASAP! I am dying to know ;)
No kidding about the darn squirrels
They can really be bothersome clambering around in the head
I'm going to start with the bad news first. I wake up early and not five minutes after that my mother calls.
She wasn't feeling well. I run her to the emergency room and they said she could have had a mild stroke.
I stayed there and was just about to cancel my therapy appointment. The doctor came in and said he is
going to give her some medicine to help prevent it from happening again. She has to stay the night just as
a precaution. I think she is going to be fine.
Good News Time
I rushed home to get ready for the appointment. I still managed to get there early. The therapist was very cool.
I have never been to any therapy and had no idea that her office was going to look like a smoke out lounge. lol
The lights were dim. The walls were olive green and there was a sofa the size of my car to sit on. All I need was
a bag of chips and drink. I sit down and told her my life story and that was fun. I'm not going to great detail about it.
She did give me info of someone in the area that can help me with voice training and how to carry myself as a female.
OK I saved the best for last. I got my letter today after the very first visit!! I am calling to setup my first
appointment with the doctor tomorrow. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea :)
Hi Girlfriend,
It is always worrying when our parents get sick and need to be taken to the hospital.. It's scary when it is you too I can tell you that. I've had a few hospital days myself. It does sound like the doctors thinks she will be okay, He has probably prescribed a blood thinner. I've taken one for awhile. They told me I may have had a micro stroke. and that is what they gave me for awhile and look how I turned out... crazy as a loon. lol
YAY!! On the good news Chelsea. It is happening you are going to start your very own journey soon. You should be happy! Celebrate hun just do it responsibly and safely. I'd be careful on the metaphors though I could be that kid gorging myself on mince pies. There could be repercussions, I have hunted people down you know. Ask HappyMienei. (or whatever her name is.
Anywho Congrats girl!
Hug,
Laurie
Sorry to hear about you Mom! Early intervention really helps and it sounds like you got here where she needed to be!
Congrats on your session! You are on your way! Enjoy the ride!
Sorry for your mom. Glad you were there for her. Congratulations on your therapy session.
Deanna
Thank you everyone for the nice comments. :)
I have my appointment with my endocrinologist next Wednesday the 7th!
I could have my meds buy late next week! :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Well, I just had a long conversation with my sister and told her everything. She was not expecting that.
She was totally supportive of my decision to transition and she was fine having a younger sister. :)
I was so worried about telling her but I'm glad it went well. I still have a few more to go.
Chelsea
Chelsea, sorry about your mother, I hope she is feeling better!
I am happy that you are moving down the list of people, soon that list will end and you can just be you.
Chelsea girl you are on the moooove! Coming out to friends and family can be so stressful and sometimes they don't go well so it is great when they do. As one that hasn't had that much good luck with it, I can tell you it can really hut. There are many though that have had almost all their comings out in the good category. I hope all of yours are goo hun.
Hugs,
Laurie
Keep it up girl, next you'll be out on Facebook to the world!! ;)
Julie
Quote from: Jessica on February 27, 2018, 09:38:58 PM
Chelsea, sorry about your mother, I hope she is feeling better!
I am happy that you are moving down the list of people, soon that list will end and you can just be you.
Thank you Jessica. Mom is better now recovering at home. They put her on lipator for her cholesterol and
a aspirin a day. I think she will be fine.
Quote from: Laurie on February 27, 2018, 09:46:34 PM
Chelsea girl you are on the moooove! Coming out to friends and family can be so stressful and sometimes they don't go well so it is great when they do. As one that hasn't had that much good luck with it, I can tell you it can really hut. There are many though that have had almost all their comings out in the good category. I hope all of yours are goo hun.
Hugs,
Laurie
There are two people that I don't think I can tell. My brother just found out he has lung cancer and is going through
a lot of treatments. Also he would never understand because he's "old school" in things like this. I know because I have been around him for almost 40 years. He would never talk to me again. The other is my mother is 82 and just had a mini stroke. I absolutely will not put any stress on her whatsoever. I want to keep her here as long as I can you know. :)
Quote from: JulieAllana on February 27, 2018, 09:48:56 PM
Keep it up girl, next you'll be out on Facebook to the world!! ;)
Julie
I think the better idea would be to start Chelsea a new Facebook. I own a small company and have
about 1600 customers(online) and unfortunately most of them are friends with me on Facebook. I don't know these people
personally and will never see them but, If they found out that I am transgender I know that my sales would
drop. It's just the way society is. My sales are whats paying for this entire transition and I do not have insurance at all. :(
Big Hugs,
Chelsea
Hello Chelsea
Nice to see you are progressing well on 3 fronts: coming out, therapy and hormones soon.
I wish you the best of luck on your journey.
Pamela
QuoteI think the better idea would be to start Chelsea a new Facebook. I own a small company and have
about 1600 customers(online) and unfortunately most of them are friends with me on Facebook. I don't know these people personally and will never see them but, If they found out that I am transgender I know that my sales would
drop. It's just the way society is.
Hi Chelsea, I can certainly identify with this. Definitely do a separate FB account if you really want one. As a professional and with a small business on the side, I went through this. It's sometimes disheartening when people you know and that have taken care of or have done business with, suddenly turn when they "find out".
Quote from: pamelatransuk on March 01, 2018, 07:14:15 AM
Hello Chelsea
Nice to see you are progressing well on 3 fronts: coming out, therapy and hormones soon.
I wish you the best of luck on your journey.
Pamela
Thank you Pamela. :)
Quote from: BrianaJ on March 01, 2018, 08:31:20 AM
Hi Chelsea, I can certainly identify with this. Definitely do a separate FB account if you really want one. As a professional and with a small business on the side, I went through this. It's sometimes disheartening when people you know and that have taken care of or have done business with, suddenly turn when they "find out".
Thank you Briana. It's a risk I really want to avoid. If that did happen I would have to find work elsewhere and in the
middle of a transition would be almost impossible. Maybe the world will be trans friendly one day. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hi everyone.
Not much going on at the moment except waiting two more days for my appointment.
I did have something weird happen a couple of nights ago I wanted to share. I set up a Tumblr and Instagram
for Me mainly because I never used them before as a guy and wanted to see what they were like. I posted
one or two pictures on there. (nothing lewd) Last night I had a message on my phone from some
random guy on Tumblr telling me what he wanted to do to my body..... Really? I hope this is not a sign of
whats to come. I'm not going to lie, It did make me feel good that someone liked me but that was a little
much. I am not a rube person so I just messaged back "No thanks, I'm good." lol
I guess its all part of the transition but I never in a million years was expecting something like
that to happen to me.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Well today is a red letter calendar day for me! Got my meds today.
My doctor said my blood test will be back in 2 days but she started me on a low dose to begin with.
I am curious about my blood work after taking herbs for all that time.
No turning back now. :) I guess my adventure finally starts today.
Happy birthday to me.
(https://i.imgur.com/3iuO5uK.jpg)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Congratz!! You'll have to keep us informed with up to the minute updates!
Julie
Congrats Chelsea. You are going to love the feeling with the meds. I did herbals originally and now on estrogen is wonderful. Oh and emotional.
Best wishes and move forward with your head high
It is a rebirth for sure.
Only thing wrong with the picture is where the bottles came from. [emoji16]
Just kidding (sorta; I work for a CVS owned company)
Congratulations Chelsea.
Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk
Well I have made it through my first week of HRT smoothy. Only thing I have to report is that I have been a lot
happier sense starting them. I think that is just me though and not necessarily the medicine.
My doctor put me on Finasteride to help with the little hair loss I do have. I also am using Minoxidil. Does anyone
have any experience with these? My doctor told me that some of my hair would come back but probably not all, but
the more that does grow back will help on the cost of a hair transplant.
Only other thing I have done is sent the email to setup my first voice therapy lesson.
I have done a few of the videos on YouTube but have no idea if I am doing them correctly.
This way I will know that I am doing the lessons correct or not. She told me that most MTF
that she has trained takes about 8 to 15 lessons to complete. The app on my phone told me
my voice is 122hz and doesn't sound all that low to me. I'm hoping that the therapy helps. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea1807 on March 13, 2018, 04:16:52 PM
Well I have made it through my first week of HRT smoothy. Only thing I have to report is that I have been a lot
happier sense starting them. I think that is just me though and not necessarily the medicine.
My doctor put me on Finasteride to help with the little hair loss I do have. I also am using Minoxidil. Does anyone
have any experience with these? My doctor told me that some of my hair would come back but probably not all, but
the more that does grow back will help on the cost of a hair transplant.
Only other thing I have done is sent the email to setup my first voice therapy lesson.
I have done a few of the videos on YouTube but have no idea if I am doing them correctly.
This way I will know that I am doing the lessons correct or not. She told me that most MTF
that she has trained takes about 8 to 15 lessons to complete. The app on my phone told me
my voice is 122hz and doesn't sound all that low to me. I'm hoping that the therapy helps. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Let us know how it goes! Voice training is one of the things that has me worried the most. Since I can't really practice unless I'm in my car
Quote from: EvaT on March 15, 2018, 07:48:55 PM
Let us know how it goes! Voice training is one of the things that has me worried the most. Since I can't really practice unless I'm in my car
I have been worried about making a idiot out of myself while training. I just know i'm gonna sound terrible.
Hey, I know all about practice in the car because I sing to the steering wheel all the time. :)
I will post a update but, I am still waiting on the appointment email. Its like time slowed down when I started this
transition. :laugh:
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea
Glad to see you are feeling happy having recently started hormones. It gets better as the weeks pass by; my mood is so much better - much calmer and less agitation and aggression
I wish you every success with the voice training.
Later in the year I plan on both Electrolysis and Voice Training.
Pamela
Quote from: pamelatransuk on March 16, 2018, 09:22:00 AM
Chelsea
Glad to see you are feeling happy having recently started hormones. It gets better as the weeks pass by; my mood is so much better - much calmer and less agitation and aggression
I wish you every success with the voice training.
Later in the year I plan on both Electrolysis and Voice Training.
Pamela
Thank you Pamela. :)
I have noticed sense starting HRT that I don't seem to get "ticked off" as easy like before.
I plan on doing hair removal soon too, but haven't decided on electrolysis or laser. I was going to
wait and talk to a dermatologist first.
Hugs,
Chelsea
I saw this post from February Chelsea.
Too funny girl !!! The mascara thing. I remember too well my times in the past when I forgot I had makeup on. Especially on Monday mornings when I would have to go back to work !! LOL
TY for sharing, and no...I am not creeping on you here !! Just kidding.
I believe I saw how I messed up on what you had posted and when or what had been posted to you.
Anyway...housework calls (I am the house mouse at our home) .
Have a great weekend dear !!
J
Small Update
I have my first voice therapy appointment set for this Monday the 26th. I am kind of nervous about going
and making a fool of myself. She is also going to help me with how to walk, talk, sit, whatever like a woman.
This is the part I am scared of because I have spent the last the last 30 or more years trying to act like a man.
Its going to be hard to change something I have done my entire life.
This is day 14 of starting HRT and it is amazing how soft my skin is now. That and my nips are "tingly" and hard enough to cut glass. :laugh:
That's the only thing I have noticed so far. I want my increased dosage! :) ;)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hi Chelsea,
Voice lessons are kind of fun. Yes you do feel a little weird at first but you get over that quick. I know I'm late but congrats on the meds and being a bit calmer is something we hear a lot from the beginners. It is the pills. Go with it. So is feeling happier and that could just be because you are finally taking steps to let yourself become you. Just wait for the emotional trip it can be fun also if you like tears. LOL Good tears mostly.
Hey girlfriend are you going to send me your address in an email or a PM or did you do it already? I just might look you up.
Anyway Hun sit back and enjoy the ride.
Hugs,
Laurie
Hi Chelsea,
I'm really excited for you, I know you said you're nervous but hopefully you can turn that into excitement!!
Its great that you will be doing speech therapy and posturing etc, what a great way to do it!
Keep posting - its really awesome seeing a flower blossom!
Sonja.
Quote from: Laurie on March 21, 2018, 12:03:48 AM
Hi Chelsea,
Voice lessons are kind of fun. Yes you do feel a little weird at first but you get over that quick. I know I'm late but congrats on the meds and being a bit calmer is something we hear a lot from the beginners. It is the pills. Go with it. So is feeling happier and that could just be because you are finally taking steps to let yourself become you. Just wait for the emotional trip it can be fun also if you like tears. LOL Good tears mostly.
Hey girlfriend are you going to send me your address in an email or a PM or did you do it already? I just might look you up.
Anyway Hun sit back and enjoy the ride.
Hugs,
Laurie
Thank you Laurie! I will send you a PM later tonight. :)
Quote from: Sonja on March 21, 2018, 12:15:55 AM
Hi Chelsea,
I'm really excited for you, I know you said you're nervous but hopefully you can turn that into excitement!!
Its great that you will be doing speech therapy and posturing etc, what a great way to do it!
Keep posting - its really awesome seeing a flower blossom!
Sonja.
Thank you Sonja!
Hugs,
Chelsea
I finally found the FaceApp last night thanks to Cassi. I threw on some makeup and my girlfriends beach hat being silly and was amazed of how it made me look. I think it was the Hollywood makeup but I'm not sure. I am going to try to do the makeup like the app did, just to see what it looks like on me. Now if I could just click save and it change my face! Maybe one of these days after a few years and surgeries.
(https://i.imgur.com/m5MCfiQ.jpg)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea that came out wonderfully. It gives you a look that you can work for in honing your makeup skills. Looking good girl!
Hugs,
Laurie
Looks wonderful, Chelsea!
Quote from: Laurie on March 21, 2018, 10:22:41 AM
Chelsea that came out wonderfully. It gives you a look that you can work for in honing your makeup skills. Looking good girl!
Hugs,
Laurie
Thank you Laurie. I just hope its not false hope. ;)
@ Chelsea: Facebook App or not.... you look absolutely terrific!!!!
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on March 23, 2018, 09:48:20 AM
@ Chelsea: Facebook App or not.... you look absolutely terrific!!!!
Danielle thank you! Maybe one day.
Nah, she looks absolutely absolutely fabulous darling -
Looks great Chelsea. Wish the app worked that well for me. Lol it made me look like my sister.
It blended me with my mom and sisters. Point to be taken though is that my sisters would look like me. The current avatar and preceding one weren't faceapp ones but it take time and I believe Chels has just started HRT and if she looked like what her avatar does now she will be a total bomb (good bomb) with HRT. It's the awkward time between no HRT starting HRT and having been on it for a while that gets rough.
Quote from: Donna on March 23, 2018, 06:52:55 PM
Looks great Chelsea. Wish the app worked that well for me. Lol it made me look like my sister.
Thank you Donna. That app made me look just like my mom did in her 20's. lol
Quote from: Cassi on March 23, 2018, 07:27:26 PM
It blended me with my mom and sisters. Point to be taken though is that my sisters would look like me. The current avatar and preceding one weren't faceapp ones but it take time and I believe Chels has just started HRT and if she looked like what her avatar does now she will be a total bomb (good bomb) with HRT. It's the awkward time between no HRT starting HRT and having been on it for a while that gets rough.
I took three years of herbs also and I am in that weird looking awkward stage. :laugh: Looking in the mirror I see a mixture of male, female lol Hopefully that will change.
Hugs,
Chelsea
First Month Update.
I just had my one month checkup with the doctor. My blood work was great and that was a relief because I was worried about the years of herbs I took. She also increased my meds and said that this is the "Full Dosage" but we still might need to adjust it later. Did I mention that I hate needles? I almost passed out when they took my blood. That is really the only thing I have a hard time with.
Things I have noticed is my breast are growing again, they are tingly and almost always hard. Ive lost a little weight around my waist but that might be from exercise. My skin is really soft, a lot more then when I was taking herbs. Morning erections stopped on day 12 and haven't came back lol. My doctor said "wow that was fast." Nothing mental going on other than just a little more emotional but not to bad. I'm still happy all the time and so far no mood swings.
I ask her if I started "pigging out" if the weight will go to the right places now. lol I have lost some weight before and am down to 140. I would like to be 155-160. My current sizes are Chest 34, waist 27.5 and hips 36 and I am 5'9"
I think that's about it for this month. I will post my 3 month update soon. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea1807 on April 05, 2018, 08:43:01 AM
First Month Update.
I just had my one month checkup with the doctor. My blood work was great and that was a relief because I was worried about the years of herbs I took. She also increased my meds and said that this is the "Full Dosage" but we still might need to adjust it later. Did I mention that I hate needles? I almost passed out when they took my blood. That is really the only thing I have a hard time with.
Things I have noticed is my breast are growing again, they are tingly and almost always hard. Ive lost a little weight around my waist but that might be from exercise. My skin is really soft, a lot more then when I was taking herbs. Morning erections stopped on day 12 and haven't came back lol. My doctor said "wow that was fast." Nothing mental going on other than just a little more emotional but not to bad. I'm still happy all the time and so far no mood swings.
I ask her if I started "pigging out" if the weight will go to the right places now. lol I have lost some weight before and am down to 140. I would like to be 155-160. My current sizes are Chest 34, waist 27.5 and hips 36 and I am 5'9"
I think that's about it for this month. I will post my 3 month update soon. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
@ Chelsea: Thanks for posting your One Month HRT update. What you mentioned about your results and body changes so far are about normal judging from my own experience. Oh yeah, I hate needles too but how else are they going to get your blood to do the blood work... and that is certainly good that the blood work results were OK with your Doctor. It is good that the herbs that you had taken did not mess up the test results. Increased to full dosage... well that is good but in my case the dosages were adjusted several times.
Yes, isn't that exciting when your notice that your breasts are growing... tingly and always hard... exactly what happens.... and sensitive too.... and my nipples always stuck out a lot.... they could have poked holes in my shirts if they had gotten any more erect and hard!!! LOL
Also, yes.... morning wood will just about stop from now on, or at least it did for me at that stage of my HRT regimen... and later in my HRT even if I had tried to get an erection there was nothing!!! That is a blessing for us MTFs.
You didn't say what your doctor told you when you asked her about you pigging out to make curves in the right places. I kinda doubt she told you to go ahead.... but if you are trying to gain 15 - 20 pounds... please enjoy burgers, fries, milk shakes, ice cream, candy..... big steaks and baked potatoes!!! LOL But then once you reach your goal it might be hard to stop eating all of that good food. Please let me know how that works for you!!!
Right now I think that the measurements you stated for your body are a wonderful start to a feminine figure.... nice curves already but just a few more inches here and there in the right places will result in a terrific shape for you.
Again, Chelsea, thanks for posting and sharing your update... please don't wait until your 3 month update to keep us in the loop about what's happening with your and your HRT.
Hugs, and well wishes.
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on April 05, 2018, 09:34:24 AM
@ Chelsea: Thanks for posting your One Month HRT update. What you mentioned about your results and body changes so far are about normal judging from my own experience. Oh yeah, I hate needles too but how else are they going to get your blood to do the blood work... and that is certainly good that the blood work results were OK with your Doctor. It is good that the herbs that you had taken did not mess up the test results. Increased to full dosage... well that is good but in my case the dosages were adjusted several times.
Yes, isn't that exciting when your notice that your breasts are growing... tingly and always hard... exactly what happens.... and sensitive too.... and my nipples always stuck out a lot.... they could have poked holes in my shirts if they had gotten any more erect and hard!!! LOL
Also, yes.... morning wood will just about stop from now on, or at least it did for me at that stage of my HRT regimen... and later in my HRT even if I had tried to get an erection there was nothing!!! That is a blessing for us MTFs.
You didn't say what your doctor told you when you asked her about you pigging out to make curves in the right places. I kinda doubt she told you to go ahead.... but if you are trying to gain 15 - 20 pounds... please enjoy burgers, fries, milk shakes, ice cream, candy..... big steaks and baked potatoes!!! LOL But then once you reach your goal it might be hard to stop eating all of that good food. Please let me know how that works for you!!!
Right now I think that the measurements you stated for your body are a wonderful start to a feminine figure.... nice curves already but just a few more inches here and there in the right places will result in a terrific shape for you.
Again, Chelsea, thanks for posting and sharing your update... please don't wait until your 3 month update to keep us in the loop about what's happening with your and your HRT.
Hugs, and well wishes.
Danielle
Thank you Danielle. Actually my doctor told me to eat whatever I wanted. She told me that sometimes the spiro makes your potassium high and I forgot to ask her if I need to slow down those foods.
I will post updates as they happen, and I am taking a picture of myself every two days. I plan on putting them together into a video after I finish transitioning so I can see the changes happen. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Great update Chelsea. Yes spiri will cause higher potassium. I've had no issues with it since last year. I just don't eat things that list a lot of extra potassium. I like protein bars and it's surprising how much is in some of them. Keep us informed and your picture diary should be great to see one day.
This is not really a update but something I wanted to share. Sense starting HRT I had my doctor send my prescription to
the Walgreen's on the other end of town. I have one close to my house but one of the girls that work there knows me really well. Me and her used to work together at a factory and I have known her for 14 years. Yesterday I went and told her that I need to talk to her in private. I told her that I am taking some medicine and need a refill and that my prescription is at the other store. She looked up my meds and immediately I saw her facial expression change. She looked at me and before she said anything I said "I'm transgender." She came around from behind the counter to give me a hug. (I was lucky no one was waiting.) :) We talked a few minuets and now for the best part. I have been paying 57 dollars and some change for my Finasteride. She applied a discount to my Wallgreen's profile and now its only $17! That's forty dollars a month she saved me! Really awesome to have someone like her as a friend.
I am having my very first voice therapy appointment toady in Knoxville so wish me luck. I am more nervous about this than I was going for HRT.
Hugs,
Chelsea
It is really wonderful to read such a happy story. You've lit up my day.
That shows she is a true friend!
I wish you every success fro the Voice Therapy.
Pamela
Quote from: Chelsea1807 on April 23, 2018, 08:00:43 AM
She looked at me and before she said anything I said "I'm transgender." She came around from behind the counter to give me a hug.
I am beaming from ear to ear with happiness! Good story!
Julie
Hi Chelsea,
Another story of a good coming out. I'm happy for you that she was so accepting of your news. The savings is just icing on the cake. Perhaps you'll be ready for a visit the next time I find myself in the neighborhood.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: pamelatransuk on April 23, 2018, 09:20:16 AM
It is really wonderful to read such a happy story. You've lit up my day.
That shows she is a true friend!
I wish you every success fro the Voice Therapy.
Pamela
Quote from: JulieAllana on April 23, 2018, 10:34:56 AM
I am beaming from ear to ear with happiness! Good story!
Julie
Thank you Pamela and Julie. :) I thought for sure she was going to laugh and give me a hard time about it. Me and her has always picked on each other through the years. She has messaged me two times sense I told her and that is rare.
I think we are going to be closer friends now and that has made me sooooo happy. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Laurie on April 23, 2018, 10:57:43 AM
Hi Chelsea,
Another story of a good coming out. I'm happy for you that she was so accepting of your news. The savings is just icing on the cake. Perhaps you'll be ready for a visit the next time I find myself in the neighborhood.
Hugs,
Laurie
Laurie as soon as I "come out" you will be more that welcome to come hang out! I know some good places to eat in Knoxville we could go to and show you around my city a bit or we could just hang out and chit chat. :) I would come out today if I could pass but that's not going to happen. :laugh: although I am liking the way the HRT is going.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Little Update on yesterday's voice therapy. I was so nervous when I got there that my hands were shaking. It took me 15 mins to find out where to park but I made it on time. I was a little calmer when I got in the office because there was no one else in the building but me and her. I just knew that I was going to make a fool of my self. After all the initial paperwork was finished she had me mimic odd sounds she was making into a microphone. After that she would hold a note on a piano and then had me make the same note. She kept going up one note at a time having me do the same.
These test lasted over an hour and a half. At one point she said that she was getting way ahead of herself because I was doing so well. At the end of the session she told me that she thinks I can do a easy 185hz. Right after that the stupid Estradiol I am taking caused my eyes to start leaking everywhere. lol I was so happy. I still don't have the confidence in myself she does. She sent me home with daily voice exercises to do for 15 mins a day and that's about all for this small update.
Hugs,
Cheslea
Well done. I'll head down that road one day. You got to hate the eye ball leakage.
Happy or sad I get it about the waterworks part
Keep on posting
Quote from: Chelsea1807 on April 24, 2018, 08:51:57 AM
Little Update on yesterday's voice therapy. I was so nervous when I got there that my hands were shaking. It took me 15 mins to find out where to park but I made it on time. I was a little calmer when I got in the office because there was no one else in the building but me and her. I just knew that I was going to make a fool of my self. After all the initial paperwork was finished she had me mimic odd sounds she was making into a microphone. After that she would hold a note on a piano and then had me make the same note. She kept going up one note at a time having me do the same.
These test lasted over an hour and a half. At one point she said that she was getting way ahead of herself because I was doing so well. At the end of the session she told me that she thinks I can do a easy 185hz. Right after that the stupid Estradiol I am taking caused my eyes to start leaking everywhere. lol I was so happy. I still don't have the confidence in myself she does. She sent me home with daily voice exercises to do for 15 mins a day and that's about all for this small update.
Hugs,
Cheslea
Cheslea: Wow, that is great news. Your new voice will go a long ways to your passing ability as you continue your transition journey.
Practice, practice, practice.... if one is not careful it can be way too easy to slip back into one's old male voice, particularly when surprised, or way too relaxed... or nervous....
Again, practice, practice, practice. If you are still presenting in male-mode some of the time than you will need to be extremely aware of who you are talking to and your desired gender voice at the time. Once you get to living Full-time female that problem thankfully goes away.... but there still can be an unfortunate "accident" unless you continue to be very very careful.
I am enjoying your "Adventure" thread and your updates.
Hugs,
Danielle
Hi Girlfriend, voice lessons can be quite fun. I found myself laughing at some of my efforts to sound the way my coach wanted from me. Then there are the silly things they give you to exercise and practice as homework.
Hugs,
Laurie
Thank you everyone for the comments. :)
It looks like its going smooth for me but that's not all true. I have a brother that is in his mid 50's and my Mother that does not know about my transition at all. I see my mother every day and my brother 5 days week. Pretty soon they will probably start to notice something, its just a matter of time. I already am past the point of wearing a T-shirt outside and summer is coming. My mother just had a mini stroke about two months ago and the doctor told the family that she can't be under any stress. I do not want to tell her about this and add to her worries. Three months ago my brother went to the doctor because he was having chest pains. Turns out it was not his heart but a two inch cancer tumor in his lung pressing against his heart. I think he is going to be ok from what the doctor is telling me. I have been hanging out with him a lot lately to help because the chemo makes him weak. There is no way I can put more worries on him either. Just last night he told me that my face looks different like I was younger or something. I stayed calm but that got my nerves worked up. I cant hide forever and he is very very "old school" I know this will turn out bad. I am absolutely terrified about this! These are the only two people that is keeping me from coming out to the world right now. My nephew is helping me come up with the best way to let him know. He said the same thing. " This is not going to be good."
Thank you everyone for reading. I am up for any suggestions.
Hugs,
Cheslea
Hi Girlfriend,
I can see your cause for concern over coming out to your Mother and brother. I do not have a suggestion on how to resolve the problems there. I have a terrible track record in this area as you know. All I can do is point out that many other people that had your same concerns and were surprised by the acceptance they did receive from those they had thought would never have accepted them. Not everyone have less that good outcomes telling relative like I have. More have had just the opposite. What it comes down to is overcoming your fears and just doing it. They will find out eventually and the sooner you tell them the sooner you will stop agonizing over it. The unknown is the stressful part. Once you have it out in the open you can deal with the reactions good or bad.
I wish you happy days and good transitioning progress.
Hugs,
Laurie
I had another good "coming out" last night. I have came out to a few people now and its not really got any easier on me. I always get really nervous before telling anyone because I don't know what the reaction will be. Guess that's normal.
We have a Pilot gas station/store at the end of our road that I visit every single day. Over the last 10 or so years I have got to know everyone there and even hang out with a few of them. Last night while I had the courage I figured now is the time. Two girls were working last night and one of them was the owners daughter. There were no customers in the store and she said "hey whats up?" I ask her is there somewhere we can talk for a sec? She takes me in the back office and I told her that we have been friends for years and I think its time for me to tell you something. She looked at me like I had 6 months to live or something. I said relax I'm fine..... I'm transgender. She was quiet for just a second and started to smile and I seen the tears in her eyes. She grabs me up with a big hug and now we both are crying. :laugh: We sit down and talk for a few minuets and she ask me all kinds of questions about being transgender and was so excited for me. I left there feeling really good.
I know this is not really a exciting story but one day when I'm further along in my transition I can look back and remember these good times in my life. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on April 26, 2018, 09:31:40 AM
I had another good "coming out" last night. ... She was quiet for just a second and started to smile and I seen the tears in her eyes. She grabs me up with a big hug and now we both are crying. :laugh: We sit down and talk for a few minuets and she ask me all kinds of questions about being transgender and was so excited for me. I left there feeling really good.
I know this is not really a exciting story but one day when I'm further along in my transition I can look back and remember these good times in my life. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
What do you mean this is not an exciting story? Every good coming out is exciting Chelsea. Not only is it good for you but it give all the rest of us that have comings out to do hope that our own will go as well. You just keep sharing your happiness with us . Y'hear?
Hugs,
Laurie
Any good coming out is an exciting story. If will
Let others know it's ok to open up. You just have to love all the hugs. I've never been hugged so often by female friends and acquaintances. It does feel amazing.
Quote from: Chelsea on April 26, 2018, 09:31:40 AM
I had another good "coming out" last night. I have came out to a few people now and its not really got any easier on me. I always get really nervous before telling anyone because I don't know what the reaction will be. Guess that's normal.
We have a Pilot gas station/store at the end of our road that I visit every single day. Over the last 10 or so years I have got to know everyone there and even hang out with a few of them. Last night while I had the courage I figured now is the time. Two girls were working last night and one of them was the owners daughter. There were no customers in the store and she said "hey whats up?" I ask her is there somewhere we can talk for a sec? She takes me in the back office and I told her that we have been friends for years and I think its time for me to tell you something. She looked at me like I had 6 months to live or something. I said relax I'm fine..... I'm transgender. She was quiet for just a second and started to smile and I seen the tears in her eyes. She grabs me up with a big hug and now we both are crying. :laugh: We sit down and talk for a few minuets and she ask me all kinds of questions about being transgender and was so excited for me. I left there feeling really good.
I know this is not really a exciting story but one day when I'm further along in my transition I can look back and remember these good times in my life. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea... that certainly WAS INDEED AN EXCITING STORY... and a wonderful experience for you... and for your friend.
It just doesn't get any better than this when telling someone that you are transitioning.
Do you think that she had suspicions or do you think that she did not know??
I am loving following your thread... please continue to keep it updated for all of us, for me!!!!
Wishing you the best and HUGS,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on April 26, 2018, 01:01:45 PM
Chelsea... that certainly WAS INDEED AN EXCITING STORY... and a wonderful experience for you... and for your friend.
It just doesn't get any better than this when telling someone that you are transitioning.
Do you think that she had suspicions or do you think that she did not know??
I am loving following your thread... please continue to keep it updated for all of us, for me!!!!
Wishing you the best and HUGS,
Danielle
She had no idea. Me and her hang out on the 4th of July last year with her family and had a great time with fireworks. I told her that I've tried to be such a "Man" all my life that I got pretty good at it. :laugh: I'm so glad that they are accepting of me. I was in the store this morning and it felt like a big weight had been lifted off my shoulders. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on April 26, 2018, 01:24:47 PM
She had no idea. Me and her hang out on the 4th of July last year with her family and had a great time with fireworks. I told her that I've tried to be such a "Man" all my life that I got pretty good at it. :laugh: I'm so glad that they are accepting of me. I was in the store this morning and it felt like a big weight had been lifted off my shoulders. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea: Oh for sure, per my experience lately I know exactly how heavy that weight is and it is a wonderful experience to get that weight off of your shoulders!!!
Thanks for telling all of us about your good report.
Danielle
Thank you Chelsea. You give so many of us courage and motivation for when we decide to come out. Also congratulations on starting Voice Therapy.
Hugs
Pamela
Yesterday I had my 4th therapy appointment. So my therapist ask me when I plan on going full time. I told her that I would like to wait for the HRT for at least two years. She said "That's and awful long time to get to be yourself." While I have to agree with her, I am not comfortable enough at this point to go out into public. She said that I could come and see her as Chelsea also. I told her that I would meet her in the middle and going out in the car first just to see how it feels. :) I am scared to death. :laugh: Today was a beautiful morning so I woke up and made my GF coffee and went outside as Chelsea for the first time just to walk around the yard some. I have to say it felt great! My neighbor was outside mowing the yard but our house is a few hundred feet from the road. Hes probably going to ask me who the girl was in my yard today. :) I plan on taking a trip through town soon. Baby steps I guess.
Thank all of you for reading my chit chat.
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/fse7I9t.jpg)
Little pic of me this morning. :)
Quote from: Chelsea on April 26, 2018, 09:31:40 AM
I had another good "coming out" last night. I have came out to a few people now and its not really got any easier on me. I always get really nervous before telling anyone because I don't know what the reaction will be. Guess that's normal.
We have a Pilot gas station/store at the end of our road that I visit every single day. Over the last 10 or so years I have got to know everyone there and even hang out with a few of them. Last night while I had the courage I figured now is the time. Two girls were working last night and one of them was the owners daughter. There were no customers in the store and she said "hey whats up?" I ask her is there somewhere we can talk for a sec? She takes me in the back office and I told her that we have been friends for years and I think its time for me to tell you something. She looked at me like I had 6 months to live or something. I said relax I'm fine..... I'm transgender. She was quiet for just a second and started to smile and I seen the tears in her eyes. She grabs me up with a big hug and now we both are crying. :laugh: We sit down and talk for a few minuets and she ask me all kinds of questions about being transgender and was so excited for me. I left there feeling really good.
I know this is not really a exciting story but one day when I'm further along in my transition I can look back and remember these good times in my life. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Wow Chelsea, just wow!
Quote from: Chelsea on May 01, 2018, 11:05:45 AM
Yesterday I had my 4th therapy appointment. So my therapist ask me when I plan on going full time. I told her that I would like to wait for the HRT for at least two years. She said "That's and awful long time to get to be yourself." While I have to agree with her, I am not comfortable enough at this point to go out into public. She said that I could come and see her as Chelsea also. I told her that I would meet her in the middle and going out in the car first just to see how it feels. :) I am scared to death. :laugh: Today was a beautiful morning so I woke up and made my GF coffee and went outside as Chelsea for the first time just to walk around the yard some. I have to say it felt great! My neighbor was outside mowing the yard but our house is a few hundred feet from the road. Hes probably going to ask me who the girl was in my yard today. :) I plan on taking a trip through town soon. Baby steps I guess.
Thank all of you for reading my chit chat.
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/fse7I9t.jpg)
Little pic of me this morning. :)
Baby steps become strides!
Quote from: Chelsea on May 01, 2018, 11:05:45 AM
Yesterday I had my 4th therapy appointment. So my therapist ask me when I plan on going full time. I told her that I would like to wait for the HRT for at least two years. She said "That's and awful long time to get to be yourself." While I have to agree with her, I am not comfortable enough at this point to go out into public. She said that I could come and see her as Chelsea also. I told her that I would meet her in the middle and going out in the car first just to see how it feels. :) I am scared to death. :laugh: Today was a beautiful morning so I woke up and made my GF coffee and went outside as Chelsea for the first time just to walk around the yard some. I have to say it felt great! My neighbor was outside mowing the yard but our house is a few hundred feet from the road. Hes probably going to ask me who the girl was in my yard today. :) I plan on taking a trip through town soon. Baby steps I guess.
Thank all of you for reading my chit chat.
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/fse7I9t.jpg)
Little pic of me this morning. :)
Chelsea Hun, You are beautiful. Had I been able to look as good as you do I would have had no problems going full time in public with the exception of the fears of coming out to people who knew me. Your therapist is right in encouraging you to let Chelsea free.
I think you will find that letting Chelsea out for a ride will be exhilarating. You will find your car is an extension of your home ie "a safe place". You are still insulated withing your car from others. It is still a personal space. Yes, people will see you but they can't get to you. It will be frightening at first but you will quickly get over that. Then you will LOVE being out driving as yourself. Take my word for it Hun. I've had thousands of miles behind the wheel as myself long before I found the support of Susan's members. You will love it. Your major obstacle will be your fear of being seen getting to and from you driveway and into and out of the house. But Hun, that gets easier and easier the more you let Chelsea free.
Go for a ride and let Chelsea free!
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Chelsea on May 01, 2018, 11:05:45 AM
Yesterday I had my 4th therapy appointment. So my therapist ask me when I plan on going full time. I told her that I would like to wait for the HRT for at least two years. She said "That's and awful long time to get to be yourself." While I have to agree with her, I am not comfortable enough at this point to go out into public. She said that I could come and see her as Chelsea also. I told her that I would meet her in the middle and going out in the car first just to see how it feels. :) I am scared to death. :laugh: Today was a beautiful morning so I woke up and made my GF coffee and went outside as Chelsea for the first time just to walk around the yard some. I have to say it felt great! My neighbor was outside mowing the yard but our house is a few hundred feet from the road. Hes probably going to ask me who the girl was in my yard today. :) I plan on taking a trip through town soon. Baby steps I guess.
Thank all of you for reading my chit chat.
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/fse7I9t.jpg)
Little pic of me this morning. :)
Chelsea. Your fun and good news update was a joy for me to read.... and your beautiful picture was, well, you are beautiful.
I am most envious that you are wearing spring and summer clothes and your weather where you live looks so nice and warm.
Here, the temps are still quite chilly so my outfits currently are coats and hats still. I know that the warmer weather is coming here soon... I am just getting impatient.
Again, thanks for your update and your picture showing your pretty self.
Hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Jessica on May 01, 2018, 11:13:15 AM
Baby steps become strides!
I hope your right Jessica. It makes me a nervous wreck just thinking about going out. :laugh:
Quote from: Laurie on May 01, 2018, 11:20:31 AM
Chelsea Hun, You are beautiful. Had I been able to look as good as you do I would have had no problems going full time in public with the exception of the fears of coming out to people who knew me. Your therapist is right in encouraging you to let Chelsea free.
I think you will find that letting Chelsea out for a ride will be exhilarating. You will find your car is an extension of your home ie "a safe place". You are still insulated withing your car from others. It is still a personal space. Yes, people will see you but they can't get to you. It will be frightening at first but you will quickly get over that. Then you will LOVE being out driving as yourself. Take my word for it Hun. I've had thousands of miles behind the wheel as myself long before I found the support of Susan's members. You will love it. Your major obstacle will be your fear of being seen getting to and from you driveway and into and out of the house. But Hun, that gets easier and easier the more you let Chelsea free.
Go for a ride and let Chelsea free!
Hugs,
Laurie
Thank you Laurie,:) I'm slowly working my way up to full time. I am my worst critic. It took me about 25 pictures before I found one that looked ok to me. I don't know if I will ever look good enough to myself. I have this thing with my face that I just do not like. I have seen many peoples faces change on HRT so I hope it helps me on that. This waiting game is no fun. :laugh:
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on May 01, 2018, 11:57:56 AM
Chelsea. Your fun and good news update was a joy for me to read.... and your beautiful picture was, well, you are beautiful.
I am most envious that you are wearing spring and summer clothes and your weather where you live looks so nice and warm.
Here, the temps are still quite chilly so my outfits currently are coats and hats still. I know that the warmer weather is coming here soon... I am just getting impatient.
Again, thanks for your update and your picture showing your pretty self.
Hugs,
Danielle
Thank you Danielle. :) It has been really beautiful today. Its 71° and not a cloud in the sky. I took off work today to enjoy it as Chelsea for the first time. Best decision I have made this week. :)
Hugs for Everyone,
Chelsea
Well Chelsea did you go for that ride?
Quote from: Laurie on May 01, 2018, 05:23:17 PM
Well Chelsea did you go for that ride?
I haven't yet. Just been enjoying the day. I might get the courage to jump in the car later but I doubt it. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on May 01, 2018, 06:04:36 PM
I haven't yet. Just been enjoying the day. I might get the courage to jump in the car later but I doubt it. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
It's almost dark there. Now get up, go outside and get into your car and go for a ride. It doesn't have to be a Laurie ride, a short one will do. Now get up and do it girl.
Just do it!
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Chelsea on May 01, 2018, 11:05:45 AM
Yesterday I had my 4th therapy appointment. So my therapist ask me when I plan on going full time. I told her that I would like to wait for the HRT for at least two years. She said "That's and awful long time to get to be yourself." While I have to agree with her, I am not comfortable enough at this point to go out into public. She said that I could come and see her as Chelsea also. I told her that I would meet her in the middle and going out in the car first just to see how it feels. :) I am scared to death. :laugh: Today was a beautiful morning so I woke up and made my GF coffee and went outside as Chelsea for the first time just to walk around the yard some. I have to say it felt great! My neighbor was outside mowing the yard but our house is a few hundred feet from the road. Hes probably going to ask me who the girl was in my yard today. :) I plan on taking a trip through town soon. Baby steps I guess.
Thank all of you for reading my chit chat.
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/fse7I9t.jpg)
Little pic of me this morning. :)
Girl you look amazing, you may find the courage to take that first step
Soon rather than later. Try not to make a plan as to when. Plans can hold you back as well. Try the trip and you will very likely see and feel it's not a big deal. Once you get past that first fear and hesitation you will be amazed at how good it can feel to be free of the guy bonds.
My first was actually unintended. I was dressing feminine when going to my doctors appointments at 7am as not many people around. I still had a moustache and facial hair and did not look the least bit female. My wife called and needed something from the store on my way home not knowing how I had dressed that day. So here I am a full male in women's cloths and stopping at a store full of people heading for work. I was hesitant about going in and finally did, well the world didn't end and I didn't get hit by lightning AGAIN ( a different story) and after that as they say it was history. Now what you see in my pictures is what the world sees every day and I am truly happy with it. Myself I could not wait any longer and you will take all the time you need to do it your way, just saying once you do should have no more doubts.
Quote from: Chelsea on April 26, 2018, 09:31:40 AM
I had another good "coming out" last night. I have came out to a few people now and its not really got any easier on me. I always get really nervous before telling anyone because I don't know what the reaction will be. Guess that's normal.
We have a Pilot gas station/store at the end of our road that I visit every single day. Over the last 10 or so years I have got to know everyone there and even hang out with a few of them. Last night while I had the courage I figured now is the time. Two girls were working last night and one of them was the owners daughter. There were no customers in the store and she said "hey whats up?" I ask her is there somewhere we can talk for a sec? She takes me in the back office and I told her that we have been friends for years and I think its time for me to tell you something. She looked at me like I had 6 months to live or something. I said relax I'm fine..... I'm transgender. She was quiet for just a second and started to smile and I seen the tears in her eyes. She grabs me up with a big hug and now we both are crying. :laugh: We sit down and talk for a few minuets and she ask me all kinds of questions about being transgender and was so excited for me. I left there feeling really good.
I know this is not really a exciting story but one day when I'm further along in my transition I can look back and remember these good times in my life. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea, Read this several times; it brings me tears of joy. Happy for you! She is a REAL friend; a keeper.
Quote from: Chelsea on May 01, 2018, 11:05:45 AM
Yesterday I had my 4th therapy appointment. So my therapist ask me when I plan on going full time. I told her that I would like to wait for the HRT for at least two years. She said "That's and awful long time to get to be yourself." While I have to agree with her, I am not comfortable enough at this point to go out into public. She said that I could come and see her as Chelsea also. I told her that I would meet her in the middle and going out in the car first just to see how it feels. :) I am scared to death. :laugh: Today was a beautiful morning so I woke up and made my GF coffee and went outside as Chelsea for the first time just to walk around the yard some. I have to say it felt great! My neighbor was outside mowing the yard but our house is a few hundred feet from the road. Hes probably going to ask me who the girl was in my yard today. :) I plan on taking a trip through town soon. Baby steps I guess.
Thank all of you for reading my chit chat.
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/fse7I9t.jpg)
Little pic of me this morning. :)
Hi Chelsea, 02 May 2018
A fantastic thread; love your stories and progress. You are absolutely gorgeous.
Being late to your thread, this is my first post on it; will be returning regularly. Do I have any good advice? If I had, I wouldn't have waited 78 years to be who and what I have always wanted to be.
Any friend that won't accept you wasn't a real friend in the first place so it's no great loss, it's actually a plus; you now have room for a new real friend.
I have a feeling your brother will accept and welcome his new younger sister. I think you are doing the right thing for your Mom.
Your girlfriend has to be a wonderful lady; I'm glad for both of you.
Continued good luck with your business.
Best of luck in your Adventure; don't forget to love your girlfriend, your Mom, your brother and yourself. Be Happy, you deserve it.
Best Always,
Christine
PS:
You are a HOT looking chick! Just couldn't resist telling you.
Quote from: Chelsea on May 01, 2018, 11:05:45 AM
I told her that I would meet her in the middle and going out in the car first just to see how it feels.
I find that I can wear my vehicle like a shield. People generally don't stare at other people in vehicles to get a really close look at them and if you look vaguely female people will take you as female, especially if you have your hair done up and are wearing some nice girly sunglasses. You'll do great!
Can't wait to hear about it!
Julie
This was the Best Day of my Life!
I still am shocked that this just happened today. Before I get into details about it I would like to give you all a little bit of my history sense it deals with what happened today.
My dad past away when I was only 15 years old. After that I looked up to my older brother because he is so much like our dad. When my bother and his wife were dating they used to take me with them everywhere. Everyone thought that I was their baby. In my senior year of high school he got me a job in Texarkana, Texas with him for the summer as an electrical helper. I made good money and after a year of saving, I came back to Tennessee and purchased a 1987 Mustang Gt. I was 19 and trying very hard to feel manly. I got into racing and the addiction grew so much. My brother and his son Jason also got into the mustang thing and started racing with me. We all had the same model cars and was racing almost every week. This was the point in my life where me and my brother got really close.
One morning after installing a new nitrous system on the car, me and Jason thought that we should go try it out. That was going to turn out bad. We was having problem getting it to do anything at all and all of a sudden it clicked and the 150 extra horsepower overwhelmed me. I cleaned out a guys front yard with it and that was the end of racing. I did not have the time to fix it back then because of a new job. After that we kind of fell out of touch and Jason said that he didn't want to race without me. He parked his Mustang in my woods where it sit for years. If you are still reading hang in there I am getting there. :)
Last year work was slow and I went to work with my brother until business picked back up. (He owns a business also).
We started talking about raceing and he told me that he wanted to get Jason's old mustang and maybe race again. I did auto and body repair professionally for 16 years but that's another story. :). We had to drag the car out of the woods because it had sit so long the brakes were locked up. Over the last year me and him have gotten close again working on this car. I have not drove mine in 23 years and that is about to change. Today me and him were getting the car cleaned up to paint and the emotions got the best of me. It took me a long time to tell him. I was crying like a little girl. He said are you ok? I just told him I cant keep this from you anymore. He has been going through cancer treatments and is weak right now. He ask me earlier this week if I would race his car at Bristol late this year. I was so scared of disappointing him. He said what ever it is I got your back. So I let it rip and said I'm Transgender.
To my disbelief he said "Whats the big deal about that? at least you are healthy" I am still shocked about this. Maybe he is in shock?? His own son Jason told me that it was not going to be good. About an hour later he shows back up with a box of parts for my car and said. "You paint my car and I will help fix yours and we can start racing again."
He said now that I know why you were depressed all those years we can start having fun. He said you can race this year as Chelsea and I'm sure you be a hottie behind the wheel. He said "Let someone say something", like he is already trying to protect me. I'm sorry that this was a long mess really but he is like a dad to me and I have been dreading this for years. I have included a few pics of the gang back in the early 2000's if any of you are interested from my racing days. Its a awesome feeling to run 135MPH in under 10 seconds but the feeling I got from my Brother today was Priceless!! This truly was one of the happiest days of my life.
I didn't intend this to be a post about cars but more about coming out to my brother and got carried away. I always loved racing and looks like now I am going to race as Chelsea! I don't remember loosing this many tears in my life. :)
Only one more person to go and I'm Free!
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/zXEVBwY.jpg)
Yours truly sporting a Viagra hat and a goodrear shirt.
(https://i.imgur.com/PtYTm4a.jpg)
The gang hanging out waiting for round 2. early 2000's
(https://i.imgur.com/Wk0mh3b.jpg)
1999 Jasons car. Same one we are finishing now.
(https://i.imgur.com/iuO1L3z.jpg)
Same car 18 years later fresh out of the woods.
(https://i.imgur.com/wd4hDBo.jpg)
Same car today ready for paint. :) Its going to be red like mine.
Quote from: Chelsea on May 03, 2018, 06:22:14 PM
This was the Best Day of my Life!
I still am shocked that this just happened today. Before I get into details about it I would like to give you all a little bit of my history sense it deals with what happened today.
My dad past away when I was only 15 years old. After that I looked up to my older brother because he is so much like our dad. When my bother and his wife were dating they used to take me with them everywhere. Everyone thought that I was their baby. In my senior year of high school he got me a job in Texarkana, Texas with him for the summer as an electrical helper. I made good money and after a year of saving, I came back to Tennessee and purchased a 1987 Mustang Gt. I was 19 and trying very hard to feel manly. I got into racing and the addiction grew so much. My brother and his son Jason also got into the mustang thing and started racing with me. We all had the same model cars and was racing almost every week. This was the point in my life where me and my brother got really close.
One morning after installing a new nitrous system on the car, me and Jason thought that we should go try it out. That was going to turn out bad. We was having problem getting it to do anything at all and all of a sudden it clicked and the 150 extra horsepower overwhelmed me. I cleaned out a guys front yard with it and that was the end of racing. I did not have the time to fix it back then because of a new job. After that we kind of fell out of touch and Jason said that he didn't want to race without me. He parked his Mustang in my woods where it sit for years. If you are still reading hang in there I am getting there. :)
Last year work was slow and I went to work with my brother until business picked back up. (He owns a business also).
We started talking about racking and he told me that he wanted to get Jason's old mustang and maybe race again. I did auto and body repair professionally for 16 years but that's another story. :). We had to drag the car out of the woods because it had sit so long the brakes were locked up. Over the last year me and him have gotten close again working on this car. I have not drove mine in 23 years and that is about to change. Today me and him were getting the car cleaned up to paint and the emotions got the best of me. It took me a long time to tell him. I was crying like a little girl. He said are you ok? I just told him I cant keep this from you anymore. He has been going through cancer treatments and is weak right now. He ask me earlier this weak if I would race his car at Bristol late this year. I was so scared of disappointing him. He said what ever it is I got your back. So I let it rip and said I'm Transgender.
To my disbelief he said "Whats the big deal about that? at least you are healthy" I am still shocked about this. Maybe he is in shock?? His own son Jason told me that it was not going to be good. About an hour later he shows back up with a box of parts for my car and said. "You paint my car and I will help fix yours and we can start racing again."
He said now that I know why you were depressed all those years we can start having fun. He said you can race this year as Chelsea and I'm sure you be a hottie behind the wheel. He said "Let someone say something", like he is already trying to protect me. I'm sorry that this was a long mess really but he is like a dad to me and I have been dreading this for years. I have included a few pics of the gang back in the early 2000's if any of you are interested from my racing days. Its a awesome feeling to run 135MPH in under 10 seconds but the feeling I got from my Brother today was Priceless!! This truly was one of the happiest days of my life.
I didn't intend this to be a post about cars but more about coming out to my brother and got carried away. I always loved racing and looks like now I am going to race as Chelsea! I don't remember loosing this many tears in my life. :)
Only one more person to go and I'm Free!
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/zXEVBwY.jpg)
Yours truly sporting a Viagra hat and a goodrear shirt.
(https://i.imgur.com/PtYTm4a.jpg)
The gang hanging out waiting for round 2. early 2000's
(https://i.imgur.com/Wk0mh3b.jpg)
1999 Jasons car. Same one we are finishing now.
(https://i.imgur.com/iuO1L3z.jpg)
Same car 18 years later fresh out of the woods.
(https://i.imgur.com/wd4hDBo.jpg)
Same car today ready for paint. :) Its going to be red like mine.
Hi Chelsea, 03 May 2018
Now I know you are Hotter than Hot. I could hardly finish reading your great post, my eyes were suddenly watering so much I couldn't see the screen.
You folks and I have a bit in common. I have an 87 Mustang that has been sitting in my driveway 14 years just waiting to be fixed up and driven.
Glad your brother and nephew love you. I hope you all have great success racing and doing whatever you-all want to do in life.
Wishing your brother a speedy and full recovery.
You are a Jewel young lady.
Best Always,
Christine
Two word's...FREAKIN' AWESOME! :eusa_clap: :icon_dance: :icon_geekdance: :icon_drunk:
That's awesome Chelsea! Very happy for you!
Sonja.
OMG so happy for you!
Thank you ladies! I am on top of the world!
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hi young lady,
That was a very good story. I do remember you telling us how you were afraid to tell him. This result is the best you could hope for. It is great that it turned out like it has. Sometimes our best guesses in these things are completely wrong.
Congrats Hun.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on May 03, 2018, 10:34:08 PM
Hi young lady,
That was a very good story. I do remember you telling us how you were afraid to tell him. This result is the best you could hope for. It is great that it turned out like it has. Sometimes our best guesses in these things are completely wrong.
Congrats Hun.
Hugs,
Laurie
Laurie you was right. He's defiantly different now than he used to be. I didn't think it would ever turn out this way.
I'm so glad I was wrong. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
It is so wonderful to read such an emotional story with such a happy ending.
I wish all your family good fortune and so happy you are feeling "Top of the World". Perhaps like me you are/were a Carpenters fan?
I hope you enjoy the racing also.
Hugs
Pamela
Hello again Chelsea, 04 May 2018
Now that you'll be racing this year, please let me know if you are racing anywhere near the Dallas Fort Worth area. I will come to watch you win and root for you, your brother and Jason. There are some great tracks here in Texas and we are not too far from Tennessee; Texarkana is also right close by. So you folks have a fan in the little State of Texas.
I know your brother is correct when he referred to you as "a hottie behind the wheel." Best wishes to you and your family, including your girlfriend. Stay safe out there racing and have fun.
Wishing you success in all you-all do.
Best Always,
Christine
Quote from: pamelatransuk on May 04, 2018, 08:21:29 AM
It is so wonderful to read such an emotional story with such a happy ending.
I wish all your family good fortune and so happy you are feeling "Top of the World". Perhaps like me you are/were a Carpenters fan?
I hope you enjoy the racing also.
Hugs
Pamela
Thank you Pamela for the sweet comments. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: christinej78 on May 04, 2018, 11:43:55 AM
Hello again Chelsea, 04 May 2018
Now that you'll be racing this year, please let me know if you are racing anywhere near the Dallas Fort Worth area. I will come to watch you win and root for you, your brother and Jason. There are some great tracks here in Texas and we are not too far from Tennessee; Texarkana is also right close by. So you folks have a fan in the little State of Texas.
I know your brother is correct when he referred to you as "a hottie behind the wheel." Best wishes to you and your family, including your girlfriend. Stay safe out there racing and have fun.
Wishing you success in all you-all do.
Best Always,
Christine
Christine, Thank you for the sweet comments. Dallas is a 16 hour drive from us and we usually race in the surrounding states. I don't know about the "Hottie" part though. Maybe one of these days. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on May 04, 2018, 12:27:38 PM
.... I don't know about the "Hottie" part though. Maybe one of these days. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea, 04 May 2018
Arkansas is between Tennessee and Texas. If you are going to race in Arkansas let me know where and when; I'll make an effort to be there.
I have to disagree with you on one thing and will side with your brother on it; Not one of these days, you are a Hottie now; you deserve it, you earned it, enjoy it!
Best Always,
Christine
Just for the record Chelsea, when I told you to go out, get in your car, and go for a ride....
Racing was not what I meant!
Quote from: Laurie on May 04, 2018, 03:49:03 PM
Just for the record Chelsea, when I told you to go out, get in your car, and go for a ride....
Racing was not what I meant!
Thank you for clearing that up.LOL Really I will not get to race as Chelsea until the transition is over but, I'm just happy that it's happening. :) As far as driving I still haven't made it out of the driveway. :laugh:
Hugs,
Chelsea
Month 2 Update
Today marks 2 months on HRT. My breast look like they are getting bigger. I took a measurement around my chest but didn't see any changes. I cant put my head around it because my GF said that they are a lot bigger and you can even see the difference in last months pictures. I must have a bad measuring tape. lol
My skin is softer still. I didn't think it could get any softer but it keeps getting better. It's also starting to get a different look about it that's hard for me to describe. Its lighter in color but also kind of reflective in a way like a glow. (If that makes sense at all) My hips still look a little and fill fuller but all my body measurements are still the same. My face looks a little different also but I cant really see what changed.
I had a week or so this month feeling really tired and just thought it was the estrogen. I read another post on here about the spironolactone gets rid of your salt and can make you tired. I increased the sodium in my diet and almost instantly my energy was back. Susan's comes to my rescue once again. :)
You all have heard about my brother and his son Jason. My brother also has 2 daughters Joni and Beth. I called them both yesterday and ask if they both come over and talk to me about something. When they got there I told them about how many years this has been going on with me and told them I'm transgender. I already thought that these girls would be good with my transition and was right. Me and Joni grew up together. We talked about it for a long time and I get out my cell phone and showed them a selfie of Chelsea. "Joni was in shock and said ok who's that?" I said its me silly, look closer. She looked at my pic for a few mins and didn't say anything for a long time and I was starting to get worried that she was going to have a problem with me transitioning. She said it was just a lot to take in but I'm ok with it and happy for you. I had a good time talking with them. I'm almost out of people to come out to. :)
That's about it for this update.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on May 05, 2018, 08:58:03 AM
Month 2 Update
Today marks 2 months on HRT. My breast look like they are getting bigger. I took a measurement around my chest but didn't see any changes. I cant put my head around it because my GF said that they are a lot bigger and you can even see the difference in last months pictures. I must have a bad measuring tape. lol
My skin is softer still. I didn't think it could get any softer but it keeps getting better. It's also starting to get a different look about it that's hard for me to describe. Its lighter in color but also kind of reflective in a way like a glow. (If that makes sense at all) My hips still look a little and fill fuller but all my body measurements are still the same. My face looks a little different also but I cant really see what changed.
I had a week or so this month feeling really tired and just thought it was the estrogen. I read another post on here about the spironolactone gets rid of your salt and can make you tired. I increased the sodium in my diet and almost instantly my energy was back. Susan's comes to my rescue once again. :)
You all have heard about my brother and his son Jason. My brother also has 2 daughters Joni and Beth. I called them both yesterday and ask if they both come over and talk to me about something. When they got there I told them about how many years this has been going on with me and told them I'm transgender. I already thought that these girls would be good with my transition and was right. Me and Joni grew up together. We talked about it for a long time and I get out my cell phone and showed them a selfie of Chelsea. "Joni was in shock and said ok who's that?" I said its me silly, look closer. She looked at my pic for a few mins and didn't say anything for a long time and I was starting to get worried that she was going to have a problem with me transitioning. She said it was just a lot to take in but I'm ok with it and happy for you. I had a good time talking with them. I'm almost out of people to come out to. :)
That's about it for this update.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea: Regarding your breasts... early on there can changes that can be seen and/or felt but really trying to measure your bust-line in the early stages can be deceiving... things might be growing but just putting the cloth tape around will squish the soft tissue... for some... by 2 months of HRT nipples might start becoming sensitive, a bit protruded and perhaps a small lump or breast-bud can be felt under the nipples. Remember every BODY reacts differently and at it's own time-frame to HRT.
The other effects of HRT at 2 months that you described sound so familiar.... softer skin, different look, skin that "glows," salt cravings (stock up on Dill Pickles and go to Chinese restaurants and use lots of Soy Sauce)
It took a long time for me to see significant body measurements change that I could actually measure and track. Be patient... things will happen... for some the changes will be quicker and more significant and for others the changes are slower and less obvious.
Usually we don't get the changes as quickly as we all want...
...human nature says
"We want it all and we want it now!!!" Patience is a virtue... and it is required for HRT.
Oh, that was good news about your nieces accepting you... and not recognizing you in your Chelsea pics on your phone.
So, continue to get out there and show Chelsea to the outside world.... go for a drive and get out of your driveway this time.... but don't speed and get stopped by a cop yet.
I am eagerly waiting for more updates and pictures as you feel comfortable posting them.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
The sense of touch and the difference in the softness and feel
Of the skin are most notable. A big change for me is the way my body smell has changed.
It was very noticeable when having a meeting last week and noticed one of the guys there smelt exactly like I used to smell. Was very strange.
It's so true about the salt cravings. Pepperoni and nachos rule
Quote from: Chelsea on May 05, 2018, 08:17:31 AM
Thank you for clearing that up.LOL Really I will not get to race as Chelsea until the transition is over but, I'm just happy that it's happening. :) As far as driving I still haven't made it out of the driveway. :laugh:
Hugs,
Chelsea
Good Morning Hottie, 05 May 2018
OK young lady, you are depriving the rest of the world the chance to see one of the Hottest Chicks on this space ship. Get out there and show yourself. You owe it to yourself.
Remember, if you are going to Race in Arkansas, let me know when and where and I'll make a real effort to get there.
While sitting here typing this I finally remembered I didn't replace my hormone patch yesterday. Done now.
Your breasts are probably getting wider, which won't affect the tape measure all that much. When they poke out further there will be a big change in the measurement.
Your niece didn't recognize you in the selfie,
"Joni was in shock and said ok who's that?" quit worrying, you look fantastic. Now tell Chelsea to get out there to the world and take Laurie's ride.
Take care of yourself, stay safe and enjoy life.
Best Always to you and your family,
Christine
Thank you Donna for reminding me about that. I forgot all about my body smell has changed a lot and I am enjoying it. Even my sweat has a kind of sweet smell.
Thank you Danielle and Christine. :) While it was good that everyone is accepting me in the family it still doesn't make me feel any better about myself. I think its going to be a very long time before I can go out into public. Yes I think I look descent in the pictures I post but they are not the way I look normally. The years and gravity has done some damage to my face and I will need a facelift. Mainly just a brow lift. I use tape under wig while I am growing my hair out and makeup to make the Chelsea I want to see. Kind of a home-made facelift. I can use FaceApp and look great but, I don't like false hope.
Below is the selfie that I showed my nieces and if you look close you can see some tape in this one. Sorry for the bad quality, the sun was coming in that morning behind me.
It is just disheartening to think how long its going to be before I actually look that way and be me comfortably.
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/j6yyDx4.jpg)
Girl you really need to
Let the world see you. Just fantastic looking.
Tape included lol
I have to agree with everyone! Chelsea you look great! Change does take time and we all 'grow' into the changes to our bodies. I think that it comes down to belief. Only you can tell when you are 'ready' to take your next step. All the best! Hugs, Kelly
Quote from: Chelsea on May 05, 2018, 08:17:31 AM
Thank you for clearing that up.LOL Really I will not get to race as Chelsea until the transition is over but, I'm just happy that it's happening. :) As far as driving I still haven't made it out of the driveway. [emoji23]
Hugs,
Chelsea
Don't make me come out there.....
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Quote from: Chelsea on May 05, 2018, 01:02:58 PM
Thank you Donna for reminding me about that. I forgot all about my body smell has changed a lot and I am enjoying it. Even my sweat has a kind of sweet smell.
Thank you Danielle and Christine. :) While it was good that everyone is accepting me in the family it still doesn't make me feel any better about myself. I think its going to be a very long time before I can go out into public. Yes I think I look descent in the pictures I post but they are not the way I look normally. The years and gravity has done some damage to my face and I will need a facelift. Mainly just a brow lift. I use tape under wig while I am growing my hair out and makeup to make the Chelsea I want to see. Kind of a home-made facelift. I can use FaceApp and look great but, I don't like false hope.
Below is the selfie that I showed my nieces and if you look close you can see some tape in this one. Sorry for the bad quality, the sun was coming in that morning behind me.
It is just disheartening to think how long its going to be before I actually look that way and be me comfortably.
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/j6yyDx4.jpg)
Dear Chelsea, 06 May 2018
I'm up past my bedtime because I want to let you know I think you are absolutely gorgeous. If I was 48 years younger I'd be camping on your door step.
I think I'll PM Laurie so we can co-ordinate a trip out to see you.
Quote from: Laurie on May 05, 2018, 04:22:04 PM
Don't make me come out there.....
Laurie, what do you think? I'll send you my email address.
Best Always Hottie,
Christine
PS:
Have an idea: Ask you brother what he thinks.
You have made it big time Chelsea. You have your very own stalker squad. Lol
Quote from: Chelsea on May 03, 2018, 06:22:14 PM
This was the Best Day of my Life!
I still am shocked that this just happened today. Before I get into details about it I would like to give you all a little bit of my history sense it deals with what happened today.
I started my day today by catching up on your thread. Wow, what a great way to start the day! I have happy tears from reading your story.
Quote from: Chelsea on May 05, 2018, 08:58:03 AM
Month 2 Update
Today marks 2 months on HRT. My breast look like they are getting bigger. I took a measurement around my chest but didn't see any changes.
Yeah, I found the same thing. The tape measure is not my friend. I was 38 1/2 before I started HRT. I am (finally!) up to an A cup, but still 38 1/2. Every time I feel a growth spurt, I re-measure, and, guess what? 38 1/2. WTH?? >:(
Now I measure them by hand: they are half a handful now. I'll be happy when they get to a handful, even if the tape measure still says 38 1/2.
You look very pretty in your photos. I think your brother is right: you are a "hottie"!
Quote from: islandgirl on May 05, 2018, 01:58:12 PM
I have to agree with everyone! Chelsea you look great! Change does take time and we all 'grow' into the changes to our bodies. I think that it comes down to belief. Only you can tell when you are 'ready' to take your next step. All the best! Hugs, Kelly
Thank you Kelly. :)
You are right about belief. No matter how much I do to change my face, I can see right through all of it and see the old me. This is what I am afraid that everyone else is seeing. I have a problem with my face for some reason. Maybe something I will bring up to my therapist.... :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Donna on May 06, 2018, 01:07:13 AM
You have made it big time Chelsea. You have your very own stalker squad. Lol
That's ok Donna, They will run when they really see me. LOL
Quote from: KathyLauren on May 06, 2018, 06:37:49 AM
I started my day today by catching up on your thread. Wow, what a great way to start the day! I have happy tears from reading your story.
Yeah, I found the same thing. The tape measure is not my friend. I was 38 1/2 before I started HRT. I am (finally!) up to an A cup, but still 38 1/2. Every time I feel a growth spurt, I re-measure, and, guess what? 38 1/2. WTH?? >:(
Now I measure them by hand: they are half a handful now. I'll be happy when they get to a handful, even if the tape measure still says 38 1/2.
Thank you Kathy.
My story is turning into a soap opera for me. Yeah as for my breast I thought I was loosing my mind because you can clearly see they are bigger. :laugh:
Quote from: KathyLauren on May 06, 2018, 06:37:49 AM
You look very pretty in your photos. I think your brother is right: you are a "hottie"!
Unfortunately I don't see the "hottie" that other people do.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: KathyLauren on May 06, 2018, 06:37:49 AM
I started my day today by catching up on your thread. Wow, what a great way to start the day! I have happy tears from reading your story.
Yeah, I found the same thing. The tape measure is not my friend. I was 38 1/2 before I started HRT. I am (finally!) up to an A cup, but still 38 1/2. Every time I feel a growth spurt, I re-measure, and, guess what? 38 1/2. WTH?? >:(
Now I measure them by hand: they are half a handful now. I'll be happy when they get to a handful, even if the tape measure still says 38 1/2.
You look very pretty in your photos. I think your brother is right: you are a "hottie"!
@KathyLauren ...
Kathy, yes indeed,
the tape measure is not our friend... add to that
mirrors and
cameras !!!
I found that it doesn't take a lot of big actual and significant tape measure "improvements" to start having curves and fitting into clothing. Add an inch to the bust, take an inch off of the waist, add an inch to the hips,... and
abracadabra the curves start to appear.
@Chelsea ... and
Chelsea, you are indeed are looking terrific, beautiful and very much like a "hottie" young lady in your pictures. It's no wonder your brother complimented you and your nieces didn't recognize your picture when you showed them.
Hugs,
Danielle
definitely hottie fits Chelsea, very pretty, no worries in passing in my opinion. Love the choker would like to have one myself.
Quote from: Chelsea on May 06, 2018, 08:36:37 AM
That's ok Donna, They will run when they really see me. LOL
Buenos dias Chelsea, 06 May 2018
The only running will be to you to give you Hugs and Kisses.
When's the first race and where is it taking place?
Keep me posted; see you there!
Best Always,
Christine
You are definitely a hottie Chelsea. It's easy for us to focus on the negatives and not see the big picture. You are doing amazing and look great too.
Quote from: Chelsea on May 06, 2018, 08:35:51 AM
Thank you Kelly. :)
You are right about belief. No matter how much I do to change my face, I can see right through all of it and see the old me. This is what I am afraid that everyone else is seeing. I have a problem with my face for some reason. Maybe something I will bring up to my therapist.... :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hi Chelsea! We are often our own worst critics. Other people often do not see what we think they do. I know that I made a conscious effort to learn a more feminine walk, mannerisms and speech. Now, I never get miss gendered in public. It is usually my family who still do. They can't/won't get past the past. I started my transition at 61 and over the past there plus years, Everything has become more natural. You have a great image. By working on the rest, your confidence will improve to the point where you just move past the present beliefs. Hugs, Kelly
Quote from: Chelsea on May 06, 2018, 08:35:51 AM
Thank you Kelly. :)
You are right about belief. No matter how much I do to change my face, I can see right through all of it and see the old me. This is what I am afraid that everyone else is seeing. I have a problem with my face for some reason. Maybe something I will bring up to my therapist.... :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
One day Chelsea you will look in the mirror and you won't recognize the person looking back. In the mean time don't concentrate to hard on your minds eye. We all see a beautiful girl when we look at your pictures.
When I start feeling I'm not good enough to present I go to a photo album I have built that has the old me from my past back popped in with the new me. It wakes me up to who and what I have become and off I go.
Thank you ladies so much for being so sweet to me. :) Maybe after more time I will see the real Chelsea.
Hugs to all of you,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on May 06, 2018, 02:09:18 PM
Thank you ladies so much for being so sweet to me. :) Maybe after more time I will see the real Chelsea.
Hugs to all of you,
Chelsea
Dear Chelsea, 06 May 2108
Since we can see her, you should also be able to see her. Don't wear sun glasses when looking in the mirror. I have a fairly good idea of your age. Gravity could not have done much in the short period of time since you were born.
If you want to see the affects of gravity and excessive solar exposure, you should see me; I'm the poster child for what not to do. I'm almost 78, I've spent 77 of those years basking in the sun, which is why I use my Dog's photo for my avatar. I have so much sagging skin they could make another person out of the excess.
The last time I tried taking a selfie, the camera and lens cratered simultaneously; won't try that again.
Is it possible you are setting your appearance standard so high that no one could possibly attain it?
Take care young lady; see you at the races.
Best Always,
Christine
Quote from: christinej78 on May 06, 2018, 03:54:24 PM
Is it possible you are setting your appearance standard so high that no one could possibly attain it?
Its not that. I can tell you exactly what it is. I'm a 40 year old trying to look like a 25 year old. Its that I still feal like I did when I was 20 and I have a deep down regret that keeps coming back to haunt me. The regret of not doing this years ago. I didn't get to live my teenage years as a girl, so that is why I want the surgeries to turn back the years.
I will never be happy until I do. That was really hard for me to admit by the way. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on May 06, 2018, 04:23:30 PM
Its not that. I can tell you exactly what it is. I'm a 40 year old trying to look like a 25 year old. Its that I still feal like I did when I was 20 and I have a deep down regret that keeps coming back to haunt me. The regret of not doing this years ago. I didn't get to live my teenage years as a girl, so that is why I want the surgeries to turn back the years. I will never be happy until I do. That was really hard for me to admit by the way. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
I feel you on wanting to turn the clock back. You may not believe it, but you certainly don't look you age and can totally get away with looking younger. I turn 37 soon and dress like a 25 year old and nobody has said anything other than I look cute.
Quote from: Chelsea on May 06, 2018, 04:23:30 PM
Its not that. I can tell you exactly what it is. I'm a 40 year old trying to look like a 25 year old. Its that I still feal like I did when I was 20 and I have a deep down regret that keeps coming back to haunt me. The regret of not doing this years ago. I didn't get to live my teenage years as a girl, so that is why I want the surgeries to turn back the years. I will never be happy until I do. That was really hard for me to admit by the way. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hey Chelsea Hun, that regret you feel about not transitioning a long time ago along with the feeling of loss for not growing up as the girl we wanted to be, is shared by almost all of us at one time or another. I know I had had that regret growing up female wish for most of my life. You are not alone in how you feel, Hun. Unfortunately we cannot turn back the hands of time so we can live as we would have if we could. Time marches on for all of us.
I no longer feel that regret. It has long since morphed into a wistful fantasy. Perhaps that is just because I have had much more time than you to realize those thoughts and feelings were just that, a fantasy. That is the reality of it, Hun and time marches on. It took me 64 years to begin my transition. A much longer time than you. Be happy in the knowledge that you don't have to wait that long. Rejoice in it even. You have the time to enjoy many more experiences as the woman you are than I do. Perhaps if you could just get over the regrets as see it for whats it is for you... a fantasy, you cam move on too, Chelsea. It is holding you back from living the reality of being the woman you can be now. Yes Chelsea, I said
now You are a pretty young lady now and you are keeping yourself from those life experiences you can be living now! More and more female experiences are slipping by as time marches on.
Get out and let Chelsea live. Just do it. Time is passing and you cannot get it back.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Chelsea on May 06, 2018, 04:23:30 PM
Its not that. I can tell you exactly what it is. I'm a 40 year old trying to look like a 25 year old. Its that I still feal like I did when I was 20 and I have a deep down regret that keeps coming back to haunt me. The regret of not doing this years ago. I didn't get to live my teenage years as a girl, so that is why I want the surgeries to turn back the years. I will never be happy until I do. That was really hard for me to admit by the way. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
Dear Chelsea, 06 May 2018
I also feel like I'm 25, sometimes when I look in the mirror I don't know who it is that is staring back at me. Like you, I wish I had done this years ago. I didn't and am now doing it. There is no way I can look 25. The US government doesn't have enough money to make that happen. Yes, the cosmetic surgeons can do some things, but there are limits. Yes, I plan on having some cosmetic surgery later this year once the weather turns cold; I don't want to waste the good weather lying around while surgical wounds heal, I'll save that for winter when I'm not as active.
On the ninth of April I went for a consultation with the surgeon that was going to do My orchiectomy, Dr. Peter Raphael, a plastic surgeon in Plano, Texas. We discussed a full range of surgical options along with the orchi. He showed me what I could realistically expect; I could look about 60. I have my second orchi post op tomorrow late morning with Dr. Raphael. I plan to discuss what I have decided to do cosmetically, which is to remove the saggy facial and neck skin and to fix my nose which has bugged me from day one. It was so large they had to do a "C" section to get me out.
I'll let you know tomorrow what he tells me. I have also been letting my hair grow since I had the orchi on the 13th of April. The hair along the sides and back is nice and thick, the crown looks like a golf tee box frequented by rank amateurs, divots everywhere interspersed with noxious weeds and mowed with a dull blade.
Please don't be too critical of yourself. When I saw your latest photos I thought you looked like you are in your early 20's. I calculated your age as maybe 35 from the things you have said in your posts. You look so fantastic you haven't a thing to worry about in passing. I'll revise what I said in an earlier post about being 48 years younger; if I was anywhere near your age, plus or minus, I'd be camping on your doorstep. Be proud of what and who you are, how you look and know that you are loved and respected; you are a beautiful person. Please take care of yourself.
Talk to you tomorrow, hasta luego mis amiga.
Best Always; see you at the races,
Christine
Quote from: Laurie on May 06, 2018, 05:09:43 PM
Hey Chelsea Hun, that regret you feel about not transitioning a long time ago along with the feeling of loss for not growing up as the girl we wanted to be, is shared by almost all of us at one time or another. I know I had had that regret growing up female wish for most of my life. You are not alone in how you feel, Hun. Unfortunately we cannot turn back the hands of time so we can live as we would have if we could. Time marches on for all of us.
I no longer feel that regret. It has long since morphed into a wistful fantasy. Perhaps that is just because I have had much more time than you to realize those thoughts and feelings were just that, a fantasy. That is the reality of it, Hun and time marches on. It took me 64 years to begin my transition. A much longer time than you. Be happy in the knowledge that you don't have to wait that long. Rejoice in it even. You have the time to enjoy many more experiences as the woman you are than I do. Perhaps if you could just get over the regrets as see it for whats it is for you... a fantasy, you cam move on too, Chelsea. It is holding you back from living the reality of being the woman you can be now. Yes Chelsea, I said now You are a pretty young lady now and you are keeping yourself from those life experiences you can be living now! More and more female experiences are slipping by as time marches on.
Get out and let Chelsea live. Just do it. Time is passing and you cannot get it back.
Hugs,
Laurie
Thank you Laurie, 06 May 2018
My sentiments exactly.
Thanks again; Best Always,
Christine
Going to do something really silly today and paint my brothers car as Chelsea full makeup and all. I think it will be cool three years from now being able to tell the guys at the race track that "Yes I'm a girl and painted it"
My brother thinks its funny. Wish me luck!
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/aYa6ZW3.jpg)
Quote from: Chelsea on May 07, 2018, 12:30:38 PM
Going to do something really silly today and paint my brothers car as Chelsea full makeup and all. I think it will be cool three years from now being able to tell the guys at the race track that "Yes I'm a girl and painted it"
My brother thinks its funny. Wish me luck!
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/aYa6ZW3.jpg)
Chelsea: Don't get paint on our pretty hair, and be careful that you don't break a nail.
Oh yeah, an "after" picture of you would be good for my "sweaty pic montage" idea on my thread.
Have fun and enjoy being a girl today.
Danielle
Quote from: Chelsea on May 06, 2018, 08:35:51 AM
Thank you Kelly. :)
You are right about belief. No matter how much I do to change my face, I can see right through all of it and see the old me. This is what I am afraid that everyone else is seeing. I have a problem with my face for some reason. Maybe something I will bring up to my therapist.... :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hi Chelsea
All I see is a woman that looks a lot younger than her years, i can only hope to emulate your successes girl.
Sophie :)
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
Quote from: Chelsea on May 07, 2018, 12:30:38 PM
Going to do something really silly today and paint my brothers car as Chelsea full makeup and all. I think it will be cool three years from now being able to tell the guys at the race track that "Yes I'm a girl and painted it"
My brother thinks its funny. Wish me luck!
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/aYa6ZW3.jpg)
Hi Chelsea, 07 May 2018
Wishing you all the good luck in the world; please wear a respirator and eye protection while painting anything and any other protection required for the type paint you are using. I'm sure you already know all this; I care.
Congratulation's, you broke through the bottleneck now you can proceed to full transition.
What's with the three years:
"I think it will be cool three years from now being able to tell the guys at the race track that "Yes I'm a girl and painted it""? You're already a girl. You are going to start racing before then, are you not? By then I'll be 81, I don't want to wait that long; anything could happen, I could fall out of a tree, a tree could fall on me, or an angry bull might gore me. I want to see Chelsea race this year.
Gotta go, tree work is calling me; chat with you later hotter than hot, hottie.
Best Always,
Christine
PS:
When I was with the doctor and his assistant they called me "sweetie" several times; I liked it, moving right along!
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on May 07, 2018, 12:40:37 PM
Chelsea: Don't get paint on our pretty hair, and be careful that you don't break a nail.
Oh yeah, an "after" picture of you would be good for my "sweaty pic montage" idea on my thread.
Have fun and enjoy being a girl today.
Danielle
Danielle I did break a nail, two of them. I found out that makeup with a paint mask in a 90° shop is a bad idea.
In five minuets I had mascara burning my eyes and had to remove it all. I did not wear the wig because it would have ruined it. By the time I was ready to clear coat I looked like Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs so I did not take a pic. It was just too awful. :laugh: I also ruined one of Chelsea's shirts and a pair of sketchers. Good news is Chelsea got her first paint job under her belt. I haven't painted painted in about 7 years and was out of practice but after about 5 mins it all came back to me. :)
Maybe I can get you a pic this week if you are still doing the "sweaty pic montage" then.
Hugs,
Chelsea
after pics
(https://i.imgur.com/Mie0O3L.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/h0FtNAG.jpg)
Oh, but what a great job! Love the colour! Make up and hot work have a tendency not to work together. It is like running for me!
Quote from: Chelsea on May 07, 2018, 11:39:28 PM
Danielle I did break a nail, two of them. I found out that makeup with a paint mask in a 90° shop is a bad idea.
In five minuets I had mascara burning my eyes and had to remove it all. I did not wear the wig because it would have ruined it. By the time I was ready to clear coat I looked like Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs so I did not take a pic. It was just too awful. :laugh: I also ruined one of Chelsea's shirts and a pair of sketchers. Good news is Chelsea got her first paint job under her belt. I haven't painted painted in about 7 years and was out of practice but after about 5 mins it all came back to me. :)
Maybe I can get you a pic this week if you are still doing the "sweaty pic montage" then.
Hugs,
Chelsea
after pics
(https://i.imgur.com/Mie0O3L.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/h0FtNAG.jpg)
Hola Chelsea, 08 May 2018
Awesome paint job and color. What's the name of the color?
Is this the car you're going to race? If so, when's its first outing?
You have talent young lady.
Best Always, See you at the races,
Christine
It's purdy Chelsea. When do we get to see the finished product?
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: islandgirl on May 07, 2018, 11:49:34 PM
Oh, but what a great job! Love the colour! Make up and hot work have a tendency not to work together. It is like running for me!
Thank you Kelly! It was really just me being silly with the makeup. I had a good idea that it would make a mess but I had a great time. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: christinej78 on May 08, 2018, 12:09:54 AM
Awesome paint job and color. What's the name of the color?
Thank you! Color name is Performance red.
Quote from: christinej78 on May 08, 2018, 12:09:54 AM
Is this the car you're going to race? If so, when's its first outing?
Its one of them I am going to race. Me, my brother and Jason all have one now. Most of the time me and Jason are the drivers. First outing as Chelsea or Race? First race will be in Bristol TN in August but, not as Chelsea. I have only been to one voice therapy lesson and still sound like a guy. I don't think that would be good idea looking like Chelsea and sounding like I do around a bunch of guys. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Laurie on May 08, 2018, 12:12:16 AM
It's purdy Chelsea. When do we get to see the finished product?
Hugs,
Laurie
Thank you Laurie!! I'll post one after its completed. We still have the interior to finish. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on May 08, 2018, 08:08:24 AM
Thank you! Color name is Performance red.
Its one of them I am going to race. Me, my brother and Jason all have one now. Most of the time me and Jason are the drivers. First outing as Chelsea or Race? First race will be in Bristol TN in August but, not as Chelsea. I have only been to one voice therapy lesson and still sound like a guy. I don't think that would be good idea looking like Chelsea and sounding like I do around a bunch of guys. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea: Yes, I am partial to Red colors such as that.... I have owned several bright red vehicles in the past.
Oh, I do wish that you would have posted a picture of yourself right after you painted the car... it would have been perfect for my planned "hot and sweaty" picture montage.
Well, regarding a "First outing as Chelsea" ... by race time in Bristol, TN you will have been on
HRT for well over 6 months....
you just might have more transition body change progress that you have bargained for, so you better get some more voice lessons planned very soon.
Being around a bunch of guys trying to present yourself as your old male persona may then have new issues.....
boobs, softer and feminized face, more curves, etc.... transitioning is exciting, and only your BODY along with your doctor prescribed HRT determines what your appearance will be in August. For me, at the 6 month mark I was passing incredibly well. You already are looking great in your pictures that you have been posting... and you looked beautiful in your latest "dress" pictures.... so please keep your updates coming... AND... get going on those voice lessons.
Hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on May 08, 2018, 08:44:22 AM
Chelsea: Yes, I am partial to Red colors such as that.... I have owned several bright red vehicles in the past.
Oh, I do wish that you would have posted a picture of yourself right after you painted the car... it would have been perfect for my planned "hot and sweaty" picture montage.
Well, regarding a "First outing as Chelsea" ... by race time in Bristol, TN you will have been on HRT for well over 6 months.... you just might have more transition body change progress that you have bargained for, so you better get some more voice lessons planned very soon.
Being around a bunch of guys trying to present yourself as your old male persona may then have new issues..... boobs, softer and feminized face, more curves, etc.... transitioning is exciting, and only your BODY along with your doctor prescribed HRT determines what your appearance will be in August. For me, at the 6 month mark I was passing incredibly well. You already are looking great in your pictures that you have been posting... and you looked beautiful in your latest "dress" pictures.... so please keep your updates coming... AND... get going on those voice lessons.
Hugs,
Danielle
Danielle you are right. I never thought about that. Its over a 100° at Bristol every year. I was thinking of wearing loose clothing like a big sweat shirt (If the HRT changes me at all) but never thought about the heat. I guess I will have to wait until next year to race. Jason can run this year as I'm still saving money for a facelift anyway.
I hope you are right about the more curves part and the feminized face. I was looking in the mirror last night and got discouraged. That half girl half boy thing my body has going on right now is not good. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on May 08, 2018, 08:08:24 AM
Thank you! Color name is Performance red.
Its one of them I am going to race. Me, my brother and Jason all have one now. Most of the time me and Jason are the drivers. First outing as Chelsea or Race? First race will be in Bristol TN in August but, not as Chelsea. I have only been to one voice therapy lesson and still sound like a guy. I don't think that would be good idea looking like Chelsea and sounding like I do around a bunch of guys. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Thanks, it's a standout color; everyone will notice it. You have talent young lady.
Are all three cars the same color? What have you done to the power and drive trains? Are they race only or street legal?
Enough with the questions. I know I have been ragging on you a good bit; I just don't want you to make the same mistake I did and that is to waste too much time not being the person I now am and always wanted to be. My life is full of missing out on things due to indecision, poor choices, not being in the right place at the right time, etc., etc. You still have your youth, I don't, except in my mind.
I'm going to stop the ragging on you as of
NOW; it's your life, live it however you want; be happy!
I just checked Bristol Dragway's event calendar, the only event I could find in August is "Bristol Street Fights" on Saturday Night 04 August 2018. That's the night before my 78th birthday. If that's it, I'll see you there "at the races" and will be wearing something "Performance Red" or close to it.
Good luck to you, your brother, Jason, and your team.
Best Always; Love,
Christine
Quote from: christinej78 on May 08, 2018, 09:16:49 AM
Thanks, it's a standout color; everyone will notice it. You have talent young lady.
Are all three cars the same color? What have you done to the power and drive trains? Are they race only or street legal?
Enough with the questions. I know I have been ragging on you a good bit; I just don't want you to make the same mistake I did and that is to waste too much time not being the person I now am and always wanted to be. My life is full of missing out on things due to indecision, poor choices, not being in the right place at the right time, etc., etc. You still have your youth, I don't, except in my mind.
I'm going to stop the ragging on you as of NOW; it's your life, live it however you want; be happy!
I just checked Bristol Dragway's event calendar, the only event I could find in August is "Bristol Street Fights" on Saturday Night 04 August 2018. That's the night before my 78th birthday. If that's it, I'll see you there "at the races" and will be wearing something "Performance Red" or close to it.
Good luck to you, your brother, Jason, and your team.
Best Always; Love,
Christine
Thank you Christine.
Danielle helped me figure out that there is no way I can race this year as Chelsea or as myself.
I can't wear big jeans and a sweat shirt in 100° weather and I have no idea what my voice is going to sound like. Like I said before, I don't really want to go out until I have my facelift anyway. Once I am happy with myself I will go out into the world. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: maybesoph on May 07, 2018, 12:42:37 PM
Hi Chelsea
All I see is a woman that looks a lot younger than her years, i can only hope to emulate your successes girl.
Sophie :)
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
Sophie I'm sorry I just seen your comment. Thank you so much. :)
Quote from: Chelsea on May 08, 2018, 09:31:39 AM
Thank you Christine.
Danielle helped me figure out that there is no way I can race this year as Chelsea or as myself.
I can't wear big jeans and a sweat shirt in 100° weather and I have no idea what my voice is going to sound like. Like I said before, I don't really want to go out until I have my facelift anyway. Once I am happy with myself I will go out into the world. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea: Please don't let me convince you to NOT race this year....
I was just kinda wondering how you would pull off your old-male persona if the HRT really starts kicking in in August after 6 or 7 months of hormones... boobs, face, manicured nails, longer hair, eye brows shaped, less body hair, etc... and continued voice training... may make it so you can't easily be a convincing male any longer.
Hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on May 08, 2018, 12:51:34 PM
Chelsea: Please don't let me convince you to NOT race this year....
I was just kinda wondering how you would pull off your old-male persona if the HRT really starts kicking in in August after 6 or 7 months of hormones... boobs, face, manicured nails, longer hair, eye brows shaped, less body hair, etc... and continued voice training... may make it so you can't easily be a convincing male any longer.
Hugs,
Danielle
I didn't think you were trying to convince me into anything. After I read your post I realized that there is no way I can pull this off as Chelsea or me now. I'm just going to see how it goes the next few months on HRT. If the changes are good enough Chelsea might just come out. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on May 08, 2018, 01:03:34 PM
I didn't think you were trying to convince me into anything. After I read your post I realized that there is no way I can pull this off as Chelsea or me now. I'm just going to see how it goes the next few months on HRT. If the changes are good enough Chelsea might just come out. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea is already here Hun, you just need to let her out to play.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Chelsea on May 08, 2018, 01:03:34 PM
I realized that there is no way I can pull this off as Chelsea or me now. I'm just going to see how it goes the next few months on HRT. If the changes are good enough Chelsea might just come out. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Nice to see things are progressing well, Chelsea.
I am sure you will know as all of us do the right time to come out.
Wishing you happiness.
Hugs
Pamela
Quote from: pamelatransuk on May 09, 2018, 05:53:27 AM
Nice to see things are progressing well, Chelsea.
I am sure you will know as all of us do the right time to come out.
Wishing you happiness.
Hugs
Pamela
Thank you Pamela.
Things are progressing well for me, just not fast enough. I am so impatient. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
I'm curious if any of you have had a change in taste on HRT? After about a week of being on HRT I noticed that I enjoy food a lot more. Seems like almost every food taste different or better than before. I can tell I eat more than I used to with this crazy appetite although on the scale I still have not gained a single pound. I starting to think I can't gain weight. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
OMG, don't tempt fate!! I hope when I start HRT that food tastes horrible,heh :)
Quote from: JulieAllana on May 09, 2018, 09:09:17 AM
OMG, don't tempt fate!! I hope when I start HRT that food tastes horrible,heh :)
Julie you are too funny. :laugh: I think I might just be stuck at "bean poll" status for a while. It's so frustrating I can't gain a single pound.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on May 09, 2018, 09:19:10 AM
Julie you are too funny. :laugh: I think I might just be stuck at "bean poll" status for a while. It's so frustrating I can't gain a single pound.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea: I am not certain that your "disturbing story" about being
stuck at bean pole status and
not being able to gain a single pound is going to resonate very well with many on here that are trying with great difficulty to lose bulky weight to get those curves that many desire....
I am thinking it might be better to be a beanpole than a pear or an apple. Push up and padded bras are helpful solutions for beanpoles, but what can a pear or an apple do other than just lose the weight... which for many is a daunting task that requires fierce determination and willpower.
For the beanpole, eating lots of chocolate and lots of ice cream perhaps is a better solution that for those that have to starve themselves and workout like crazy... and be stuck at apple or pear status.
May I suggest ... be thankful and count your blessings.... and by the way, there are many very beautiful women that are beanpoles with small boobs and very little booty.... and you Chelsea, certainly have the appearance of a beautiful woman.
OH, please be sure to share some of your chocolate and ice cream with me....
Hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on May 09, 2018, 09:41:15 AM
May I suggest ... be thankful and count your blessings.... and by the way, there are many very beautiful women that are beanpoles with small boobs and very little booty.... and you Chelsea, certainly have the appearance of a beautiful woman.
OH, please be sure to share some of your chocolate and ice cream with me....
Hugs,
Danielle
Don't knock it unless you're there! I have to be concerned about belly fat if I eat too much now but I love being slender. As to tiny booty, wear a belt. I do.
Judi
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on May 09, 2018, 09:41:15 AM
Chelsea: I am not certain that your "disturbing story" about being stuck at bean pole status and not being able to gain a single pound is going to resonate very well with many on here that are trying with great difficulty to lose bulky weight to get those curves that many desire....
I am thinking it might be better to be a beanpole than a pear or an apple. Push up and padded bras are helpful solutions for beanpoles, but what can a pear or an apple do other than just lose the weight... which for many is a daunting task that requires fierce determination and willpower.
For the beanpole, eating lots of chocolate and lots of ice cream perhaps is a better solution that for those that have to starve themselves and workout like crazy... and be stuck at apple or pear status.
May I suggest ... be thankful and count your blessings.... and by the way, there are many very beautiful women that are beanpoles with small boobs and very little booty.... and you Chelsea, certainly have the appearance of a beautiful woman.
OH, please be sure to share some of your chocolate and ice cream with me....
Hugs,
Danielle
The beanpole comment was directed at myself. I know there are lots of people that are trying to loose weight but me on the other hand is the exact opposite. Who ever heard of someone not being able to gain a pound?
O and yes I will share my chocolate and ice cream with you anytime. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Bean pole? LOL, I resemble that remark ;D Sure, I've developed some hips and breasts but that didn't happen overnight
I am rather thin though
Chelsea: Have you made appointments for continuing your voice therapy yet???
Now that you are on HRT, you will want to make certain that your voice matches your gorgeous looks.
Hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on May 09, 2018, 10:08:59 AM
Chelsea: Have you made appointments for continuing your voice therapy yet???
Now that you are on HRT, you will want to make certain that your voice matches your gorgeous looks.
Hugs,
Danielle
Yes I have another appointment sometime next week I think. She said most people start getting to hear their "New Voice" within 8 to 15 sessions. I don't have the confidence in me that she does though. She said I did better than most at the beginning. I just cant imagine what my new voice will sound like, Its kind of scary. :laugh:
Thank you for the gorgeous comment. Made my day. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on May 09, 2018, 10:15:40 AM
Yes I have another appointment sometime next week I think. She said most people start getting to hear their "New Voice" within 8 to 15 sessions. I don't have the confidence in me that she does though. She said I did better than most at the beginning. I just cant imagine what my new voice will sound like, Its kind of scary. :laugh:
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea: Oh, yes, I am very happy that you are going forward right away with the voice sessions....
As we talked about in our previous comments on your thread, in another 6 months of HRT you just might start having male-fale experiences . You are starting out with such a feminine face and a slender and beautiful body that it just might surprise you about the possibility of how quickly and significantly continued HRT will work for you... and if and when that happens you will certainly desire your new Chelsea voice.
Wishing you well and best wishes for your future.
Hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on May 09, 2018, 10:34:39 AM
Chelsea: Oh, yes, I am very happy that you are going forward right away with the voice sessions....
As we talked about in our previous comments on your thread, in another 6 months of HRT you just might start having male-fale experiences . You are starting out with such a feminine face and a slender and beautiful body that it just might surprise you about the possibility of how quickly and significantly continued HRT will work for you... and if and when that happens you will certainly desire your new Chelsea voice.
Wishing you well and best wishes for your future.
Hugs,
Danielle
Danielle, I actually hope that I get male-fail. That way I will know myself that I should then look good enough to finally let Chelsea free. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hi Girlfriend,
I didn't really notice a difference in taste (or smelling for that matter), probably due to my love of food I've always had. Everything (almost) tastes good to me and it is therefore my downfall. I need to cut back on what I eat just to maintain my weight under 200lbs. I actually gained weight on my road trip.
Kendra reported a pronounce taste and smell enhancement after starting HRT. I doubt that would be a good thing for me.
Hugs,
Laurie
I'm taking another baby step tonight. My GF has talked me into going out in town as Chelsea only in the car this time. She said "You can't stay on the back roads either, You need to go into town where there are people. " I'm really scared and starting to think things like "what if the car breaks down?" This is a big step for me and I cant believe I'm doing this.
She's going with me thinking is going to be fun. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
Woo hoo! Go get out there! For me driving around isn't too stressful. It's the getting out and walking around that I am not so keen on.
There you go! Each step helps build that confidence up! You can do this Chelsea! You are a brave girl! Believe!
Quote from: JulieAllana on May 11, 2018, 04:56:07 PM
Woo hoo! Go get out there! For me driving around isn't too stressful. It's the getting out and walking around that I am not so keen on.
I have no idea why I'm scared. She's already trying to get me to hit a drive through for some food later. I can see me doing that with my voice. :laugh: She said "I will order for you" I think she's trying to get me into trouble. :laugh:
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: islandgirl on May 11, 2018, 05:07:34 PM
There you go! Each step helps build that confidence up! You can do this Chelsea! You are a brave girl! Believe!
Thank you Kelly. I am going to give it a try. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Have fun with it! Smile, laugh, just have fun with your friend. Crank up the tunes, sing, enjoy! What others my think means less than what you think.
Quote from: Chelsea on May 11, 2018, 05:11:19 PM
I have no idea why I'm scared. She's already trying to get me to hit a drive through for some food later. I can see me doing that with my voice. :laugh: She said "I will order for you" I think she's trying to get me into trouble. :laugh:
Hugs,
Chelsea
Congratulations Chelsea, 11 May 2018
By the time you read this, most likely you will have been "out on the town' as Chelsea. I hope everything went fine and I'm sure it did.
I think you pretty much know a good bit about me; my latest avatar is actually me from 2013 while wrecking out a large Cotton Wood tree.
This weekend I am going to do something I have never done before. I am going to a nudist resort Sunday as Christine. I am a member of the resort but have not yet been there as Christine. So, I'm outing myself to the entire membership and all visitors simultaneously. I have been to the resort several times over the past two years, but not since my transition. I do have experience with nudism, just not as a woman; there's a first time for everything.
I really should have prepared more for this weekend; I don't have a tan started, only what remains of last year's. So, I'm going sans tan, pale as Casper, wearing my wrinkly "GoneNads" sack, little boobs, shrunken willy, and bald head populated with dying and dead weeds.
That ought to be a sight to "behold."
I won't be taking photo's as cameras and cell phones with them are forbidden. The resort I go to has very strict rules, which is one of the many reasons I chose it.
This will be a semi first; I have had many firsts in my short time on this space ship so I am looking forward to it. I'll let you all know how it went on my thread once I done did it.
Best Always; Love,
Christine
YAY! for your girlfriend! You will get your "Yay" after you have done this little outing. I am with your girlfriend and agree you will have fun and you will go through the drive through. By that time you will be ready. Yes baby steps Chelsea but they are steps and each step is progress You can and will do this.
Do it and enjoy your time out with your girlfriend as girlfriends should. I expect to meet her too when I get out that way again.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on May 11, 2018, 06:41:03 PM
YAY! for your girlfriend! You will get your "Yay" after you have done this little outing. I am with your girlfriend and agree you will have fun and you will go through the drive through. By that time you will be ready. Yes baby steps Chelsea but they are steps and each step is progress You can and will do this.
Do it and enjoy your time out with your girlfriend as girlfriends should. I expect to meet her too when I get out that way again.
Hugs,
Laurie
Thank you Laurie. I will be taking a few pics as proof for you, so I can get my "Yay"!! :)
Don't know about the drive through though unless my GF orders. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on May 11, 2018, 05:13:07 PM
Thank you Kelly. I am going to give it a try. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Yes!! That's our girl! Have fun!
Quote from: Chelsea on May 11, 2018, 06:46:03 PM
Thank you Laurie. I will be taking a few pics as proof for you, so I can get my "Yay"!! :)
Don't know about the drive through though unless my GF orders. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
Love the drive thru. They hear a deep voice order and then ma'am me at the window.
Everything went great. My best friend called me right before I was leaving. He told me he was leaving and had left something he had borrowed from me on his back porch. It takes about 15 mins to get to his house. When I get there I lost all nerve and couldn't get out of the car. I knew I had to get out of the car and walk around back of his house or my girlfriend will never let me live this down. I got out and the entire time I was walking around his house she was laughing at me. After I got back to the car me and her giggled like two kids. I didn't know I could have so much fun doing something so silly. On the way home we stopped at the ATM for money and I took a few pics.
It was a lot easier than I thought after its over. I'm already wanting to go out again
Another small step for Chelsea. :)
(https://i.imgur.com/RiZ1n9f.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/yxyNRQ7.jpg)
YAY!!! Good Job Girlfriend.
Hugs,
Laurie
I knew you could do it and I said you would have fun. See? It wasn't that hard, was it?
I am proud of you for taking this step. It was not a baby step it took courage. It will get easier the more you do it. Then your task will be to go into a store, shop for a women's item, take it to a living cashier and pay them for it. Not you can start worrying over that one.. I did. I did do it though and so will you. You looked great as usual in the pictures.
Big Hugs Girlfriend,
Laurie
Quote from: Chelsea on May 11, 2018, 11:35:51 PM
Everything went great. My best friend called me right before I was leaving. He told me he was leaving and had left something he had borrowed from me on his back porch. It takes about 15 mins to get to his house. When I get there I lost all nerve and couldn't get out of the car. I knew I had to get out of the car and walk around back of his house or my girlfriend will never let me live this down. I got out and the entire time I was walking around his house she was laughing at me. After I got back to the car me and her giggled like two kids. I didn't know I could have so much fun doing something so silly. On the way home we stopped at the ATM for money and I took a few pics.
It was a lot easier than I thought after its over. I'm already wanting to go out again
Another small step for Chelsea. :)
(https://i.imgur.com/RiZ1n9f.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/yxyNRQ7.jpg)
Hi Chelsea, 11 May 2018
You look fantastic; very happy you had a great time and that everything went well. Your girlfriend has to be a real jewel; take good care of her.
Hope you have more fantastic outings in the near future. That race is coming up soon; see you there.
Best Always, Love to you and your girlfriend,
Christine
This is such a great update. Way to go girl. There is no stopping you now.
Hi Chelsea, I just found your thread and read it all from the beginning. My favourite part was when you came out to your brother. What a wonderful relief that must have been for you and now you can both become closer and do your racing together. I am so happy for you.
Congratulations on your drive as Chelsea. Once you let Chelsea out in public a few times, it starts to get very hard to put her back in the closet (yes I am speaking from experience as this is happening to me now). You have nothing to worry about. You are beautiful, and have a fun personality. Even if your voice is not too feminine yet, people won't care. Last week I went into a department store dressed as Jayne and had my makeup done and my voice is totally male sounding. The makeup girl didn't even flinch and treated me like any other woman. Of course, you also need to think about your safety so be selective where you come out if you have any "no go" areas nearby.
I have enjoyed reading your story and look forward to following your future updates.
Jayne
PS: did I mention you are beautiful?
That's our girl! Congrats on your outing! You do look amazing!
Quote from: Laurie on May 11, 2018, 11:52:05 PM
I knew you could do it and I said you would have fun. See? It wasn't that hard, was it?
I am proud of you for taking this step. It was not a baby step it took courage. It will get easier the more you do it. Then your task will be to go into a store, shop for a women's item, take it to a living cashier and pay them for it. Not you can start worrying over that one.. I did. I did do it though and so will you. You looked great as usual in the pictures.
Big Hugs Girlfriend,
Laurie
Thank you Laurie, It was really hard to for me to get out of the car. I had so much fun. I have purchased women items before but as my old self. Also I have a fake shopping list most of the time, so It looks like I'm buying it for someone else. :laugh: I thought about your challenge but I'm not that far just yet. The thought of shopping as Chelsea is scary.
Thank you for the nice comments hun.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Jayne01 on May 12, 2018, 02:49:08 AM
Hi Chelsea, I just found your thread and read it all from the beginning. My favourite part was when you came out to your brother. What a wonderful relief that must have been for you and now you can both become closer and do your racing together. I am so happy for you.
Congratulations on your drive as Chelsea. Once you let Chelsea out in public a few times, it starts to get very hard to put her back in the closet (yes I am speaking from experience as this is happening to me now). You have nothing to worry about. You are beautiful, and have a fun personality. Even if your voice is not too feminine yet, people won't care. Last week I went into a department store dressed as Jayne and had my makeup done and my voice is totally male sounding. The makeup girl didn't even flinch and treated me like any other woman. Of course, you also need to think about your safety so be selective where you come out if you have any "no go" areas nearby.
I have enjoyed reading your story and look forward to following your future updates.
Jayne
PS: did I mention you are beautiful?
Hi Jayne. Welcome to my silly thread. Thank you so much for the sweet comments! I think the part about putting Chelsea back in the closet is already happening. Last night after I got back home, I didn't want to remove the makeup and get in the shower because I didn't want to be my old self again. I know I'm moving forward slowly but its no fun being my old self.
Thank you for the safety advise. If I go out at night I will have someone with me. Most people have always been really nice in this town but you never know after the transition.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Thank you Donna, Kelly and Christine! I had so much fun. :)
I could not have done this without everyone's support.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on May 12, 2018, 08:50:46 AM
Thank you Laurie, It was really hard to for me to get out of the car. I had so much fun. I have purchased women items before but as my old self. Also I have a fake shopping list most of the time, so It looks like I'm buying it for someone else. :laugh: I thought about your challenge but I'm not that far just yet. The thought of shopping as Chelsea is scary.
Thank you for the nice comments hun.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hi Girlfriend. Listen you do not have to tell me that getting out of the car is hard, I know. And yes I am talking about you going shopping AS Chelsea. I also know you are not ready to do that yet but the day will and is coming. you will do it. The first time I bought something ( a women's wallet and a cuticle tool ) it took me 15 minutes! to get out of my pickup and go into Target at 9 pm. I seemed there was a steady stream in and out of the store. What the heck were all those people doing shopping at that hour?? Don't they have home and families? lol
You did good Chelsea and you will become more comfortable at being out the more you do it.
Hugs,
Laurie
You look so happy! See, the sky didn't fall and you survived. Now get out there and be you!!
Judi
Chelsea girl you are doing fabulous. Congrats on getting out and about and discovering the joy and pleasure of being ones true self. Keep it up and there will be no holding you back
Well I have hit my first bump in the road on the Transition Adventure of mine. My bushiness has not done really well in the last few days. I make parts that are seasonal I guess you could say. I have a very large machine payment that I make parts on and without bushiness I cant pay for the machine. No machine, no money, without money there will never be a Chelsea. I have no insurance and my work is paying for every penny of my transition. I am stressed to the max today.
On top of that my sister told me that mom said that she is worried about me because my face looks different. Now I know that I am going to have to tell her soon. I have never felt stress like this. Sorry everyone I just needed to vent and get all this out. I've sit here all day trying to figure a way out of this mess.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on May 12, 2018, 04:17:34 PM
Well I have hit my first bump in the road on the Transition Adventure of mine. My bushiness has not done really well in the last few days. I make parts that are seasonal I guess you could say. I have a very large machine payment that I make parts on and without bushiness I cant pay for the machine. No machine, no money, without money there will never be a Chelsea. I have no insurance and my work is paying for every penny of my transition. I am stressed to the max today.
On top of that my sister told me that mom said that she is worried about me because my face looks different. Now I know that I am going to have to tell her soon. I have never felt stress like this. Sorry everyone I just needed to vent and get all this out. I've sit here all day trying to figure a way out of this mess.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea, I'm sorry your business has slowed down. I hope things pick up again soon. This is an added stress in your life you could do without. (((hugs)))
I'm sorry, I don't remember if you said that you have already come out to your sister. Maybe between your brother and sister, you can all come up with the most gentle way to come out to your mother. Have your brother and sister there with you when you tell her. If she can see that they already accept you and support you, it will be easier for your mother. She is probably more worried that you are unwell, not that you look unwell, but transgender is probably the last thing on her mind.
No need to apologise for venting. That's what we are here for.
(((HUG)))
Jayne
Quote from: Jayne01 on May 12, 2018, 04:50:38 PM
Chelsea, I'm sorry your business has slowed down. I hope things pick up again soon. This is an added stress in your life you could do without. (((hugs)))
I'm sorry, I don't remember if you said that you have already come out to your sister. Maybe between your brother and sister, you can all come up with the most gentle way to come out to your mother. Have your brother and sister there with you when you tell her. If she can see that they already accept you and support you, it will be easier for your mother. She is probably more worried that you are unwell, not that you look unwell, but transgender is probably the last thing on her mind.
No need to apologise for venting. That's what we are here for.
(((HUG)))
Jayne
Hi Jayne. Yes my brother and sister both know about my transition and I have their full support. Mom is getting up there in age and I'm fine with letting her know, its I'm trying to figure out how to do it without any stress to her. There is no way. She just had a mini stroke a few months ago and the doctor said she cant be under any stress. I have been around my mother almost every single day of my life and cant figure out best way to let her know. She is very "old school" and will never understand. Her comments she has made about the transgender bathroom thing on tv recently lets me know I'm doomed.
Quote from: Chelsea on May 12, 2018, 06:46:24 PM
Hi Jayne. Yes my brother and sister both know about my transition and I have their full support. Mom is getting up there in age and I'm fine with letting her know, its I'm trying to figure out how to do it without any stress to her. There is no way. She just had a mini stroke a few months ago and the doctor said she cant be under any stress. I have been around my mother almost every single day of my life and cant figure out best way to let her know. She is very "old school" and will never understand. Her comments she has made about the transgender bathroom thing on tv recently lets me know I'm doomed.
I understand not wanting to stress her. This is a very difficult situation for you. (hug) I don't want to persuade you into doing something you cannot do, but I would like to remind you that you had similar feelings about coming out to your brother because he was old school. Look how well that turned out. Her recent mini stroke is something that needs serious consideration also. You will figure out the best way to approach this. Enlist the help of your brother and sister.
Would it be easier for your mother if either your brother or sister (or both) somehow brought up the subject of transgender with her, without you present, and show her how accepting they are. Her views on the subject may not be as old school as you may think. People react differently when it is someone close rather than some "generic nameless trans person" in the media.
Another thing to consider is that your appearance is changing with the hormones. Your mother has already noticed something different about you. She may already be feeling stressed wondering what is going on with you. It may reduce her stress by you coming out to her and she sees how much happier you are now.
My thoughts and best wishes are with you.
Hugs,
Jayne
Sorry to hear your business has slowed down. That really bites, I rebuilt and redid my company a year ago and have only now started to pick back up. I wish you the best and hope your cash flow improves for you. It's way to stressful with everything else going on.
Hi Chelsea!
I love love love that name btw! I have gotten quite a bit out of reading your thread. We all really do seem to go through the same things more or less. It's comforting, in a way, to know it isn't only you dealing with these emotions and situations. I hope things go well between you and your mother. Best wishes on that. I look forward to reading more as you continue to progress!
xoxoxo
Alyssa
Quote from: Chelsea on May 12, 2018, 04:17:34 PM
Well I have hit my first bump in the road on the Transition Adventure of mine. My bushiness has not done really well in the last few days. I make parts that are seasonal I guess you could say. I have a very large machine payment that I make parts on and without bushiness I cant pay for the machine. No machine, no money, without money there will never be a Chelsea. I have no insurance and my work is paying for every penny of my transition. I am stressed to the max today.
On top of that my sister told me that mom said that she is worried about me because my face looks different. Now I know that I am going to have to tell her soon. I have never felt stress like this. Sorry everyone I just needed to vent and get all this out. I've sit here all day trying to figure a way out of this mess.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea, take a deep breath, perhaps take drive or a long walk and carefully think things through. I have been in and around business issues for a long time so I fully understand your frustrations.
I am not certain what to say to you that will make things better or even to make you feel better. I do however understand a lot about business and finance... it always has ups and downs, even in good times.
You know your own business better than anyone else so you will have to ponder and think of solutions... or you may even have to wait out the famine in your business cash flow until your target market rebounds.
Just some ideas here: You can make a concerted effort to contact, visit, phone or write to your past customer base and let then know that you appreciated their past business with your company and that you are looking forward to continuing doing business with them... perhaps some kind of incentive for them... and, of course you know what you make and what customers usually need so you could tailor incentives for different customer's needs. You can use the same approach for finding new customers.
So, the bottom line, if your machine is not running then you have time to put your feet to the pavement and beat the drum to increase your sales. It is so easy to get depressed about all of this but you have to take action to get action, and you know that you are the one to do this.
Hang in there and try very hard to be positive.
You may have heard me say this on some of my past posts on various threads.
This is a quote by
Winston Churchill as he was leading England through the trials of World War 2.
"A Pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity,
An Optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty."Moral of the story here is to have a "glass half full" mindset.
People, your customers too, are drawn to an optimistic and positive person... on the other hand very few people, and certainly your prospective customers don't really want to deal with a pessimistic and negative personality.
Obviously your business right now is your source of income and is of prime importance to you. Also, of course, your transition journey and you transition goals are also very important to you... you need both things to finally be able to reach your goals.
Yes, I know what it is like to come-out to family members, it can be very difficult for both you and your mother... timing is everything but my feeling is that because you are into your journey as far as you are now, that sooner is better particularly since your body is starting to significantly change. Oh, and don't forget Mother's Day on Sunday... you only have one mom so make certain that you honor her and let her know that you love her and appreciate her.
Wishing you well and lots of Hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Chelsea on May 12, 2018, 04:17:34 PM
Well I have hit my first bump in the road on the Transition Adventure of mine. My bushiness has not done really well in the last few days. I make parts that are seasonal I guess you could say. I have a very large machine payment that I make parts on and without bushiness I cant pay for the machine. No machine, no money, without money there will never be a Chelsea. I have no insurance and my work is paying for every penny of my transition. I am stressed to the max today.
On top of that my sister told me that mom said that she is worried about me because my face looks different. Now I know that I am going to have to tell her soon. I have never felt stress like this. Sorry everyone I just needed to vent and get all this out. I've sit here all day trying to figure a way out of this mess.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Good morning Chelsea, 13 May 2018
Today being Mother's Day, Happy Mother's Day to your Mom; I wish her all the best, and you and your family as well.
Do not respond to this post with answers to anything I say.I had my orchi last month, it cost $3250.00; I boarded my three Dogs for four days, That cost $550.00. By the time everything orchi / transition related was completed in April, my total out lay was about $4K, give or take $100.00. I put it all on my Credit Card as I went. My payment due is a pittance of the total amount. If I had a temporary cash crunch, I would pay as much as I could and let the remainder ride. Yes, the interest rate is high, but one or two months wouldn't be back breaking unless I had an extremely high interest credit card. Ask yourself if this is a viable option.
Pare down your discretionary spending: dining out at expensive restaurants like Mickey D's, Wendy's, Olive Garden (one of my favorites), etc., race car expenses (temporarily), and anything else you can think of that is unnecessary.
Do you have big ticket items you never use that are saleable. I'm not suggesting you sell things at fire sale prices. You may have something someone you know has been bugging you to sell to them. I've done this before, which worked out well. I gained space (for more stuff), and my friends got what they wanted; we were all happy.
Who do you make your machine payments to, a bank, company you bought it from, Credit Card, etc. Will they accept anything less than the payment amount due this month; talk to them. If it's a Credit Card there is a balance and payment amount due; pay the smaller of the two.
DOT NOT DO anything that endangers your health; eat healthy, not extravagantly.
Are there any outside sources of income available, painting cars, fixing them, second job, etc.
NO ROBBING BANKS, that will get you free room and board in a S****y Gray Bar Hotel, whose residents will make sitting difficult. Part of that is a paraphrase of my "Words of Wisdom" to young folks when I detained them for doing something stupid.
The world will not end, the sun comes up every morning; it's always shining, we just may not see it for the momentary cloud cover. This is a temporary obstacle. You can make it a stumbling block or a stepping stone; it's your call.
The way I read you is that you love your Mom very much, which I'm glad you do. I have a feeling she will surprise you like your brother did; you just have to find the right time. You, your brother and sister should be involved in this; don't do it alone.
The above is not advice, it is stuff to think about. You will come up with the answer. Just don't let the stress overwhelm you.
I've changed my mind about going to the resort toady, it's Mother's Day and the sky is overcast. There won't be many folks there so I'll wait for another day that's sunny. Still have tree work that needs attention.
This may sound selfish: Take care of yourself first, if you don't, you may not be able to take care of those that you love. Stay healthy young lady; you are gorgeous. I enjoyed your photos and adventure out.
Best Always, Love to you, your girlfriend, your Family and especially your Mom,
Christine
Thank all of you for the comments and encouragement. I might see a light at the end of the tunnel. Earlier my brother messaged me and said that he will pay my machine payment this month, if I finish buff the paint on his car. He is sick right now from treatments and this will help the both of us. One month might be enough to design new products for my store and get out of this mess.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on May 13, 2018, 07:44:43 AM
Thank all of you for the comments and encouragement. I might see a light at the end of the tunnel. Late last night my brother messaged me and said that he will pay my machine payment this month, if I finish buff the paint on his car. He is sick right now from treatments and this will help the both of us. One month might be enough to design new products for my store and get out of this mess.
Hugs,
Chelsea
That's a great brother you have. Make sure you do an extra good buffing job on his car. I hope he doesn't feel sick too long from the treatments. I know that kind of treatment really knocks people around.
Jayne
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on May 13, 2018, 01:37:37 AM
Chelsea, take a deep breath, perhaps take drive or a long walk and carefully think things through. I have been in and around business issues for a long time so I fully understand your frustrations.
I am not certain what to say to you that will make things better or even to make you feel better. I do however understand a lot about business and finance... it always has ups and downs, even in good times.
You know your own business better than anyone else so you will have to ponder and think of solutions... or you may even have to wait out the famine in your business cash flow until your target market rebounds.
Just some ideas here: You can make a concerted effort to contact, visit, phone or write to your past customer base and let then know that you appreciated their past business with your company and that you are looking forward to continuing doing business with them... perhaps some kind of incentive for them... and, of course you know what you make and what customers usually need so you could tailor incentives for different customer's needs. You can use the same approach for finding new customers.
So, the bottom line, if your machine is not running then you have time to put your feet to the pavement and beat the drum to increase your sales. It is so easy to get depressed about all of this but you have to take action to get action, and you know that you are the one to do this.
Hang in there and try very hard to be positive.
You may have heard me say this on some of my past posts on various threads.
This is a quote by Winston Churchill as he was leading England through the trials of World War 2.
"A Pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity,
An Optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty."
Moral of the story here is to have a "glass half full" mindset.
People, your customers too, are drawn to an optimistic and positive person... on the other hand very few people, and certainly your prospective customers don't really want to deal with a pessimistic and negative personality.
Obviously your business right now is your source of income and is of prime importance to you. Also, of course, your transition journey and you transition goals are also very important to you... you need both things to finally be able to reach your goals.
Yes, I know what it is like to come-out to family members, it can be very difficult for both you and your mother... timing is everything but my feeling is that because you are into your journey as far as you are now, that sooner is better particularly since your body is starting to significantly change. Oh, and don't forget Mother's Day on Sunday... you only have one mom so make certain that you honor her and let her know that you love her and appreciate her.
Wishing you well and lots of Hugs,
Danielle
Danielle Thank you once again for giving me the idea. I have a mass email option on my store that I just used for the first time. I really forgot about it. I typed a simple email with a discount code for my online store to give everyone a percentage off. Out of my 1600 plus customer list I'm hoping it will generate something.... O and I am a Optimist by the way. :) Its very hard to get me down or depressed, its just sometimes its good for everyone to vent about their daily challenges.
Hugs
Chelsea
Quote from: Jayne01 on May 13, 2018, 07:50:11 AM
That's a great brother you have. Make sure you do an extra good buffing job on his car. I hope he doesn't feel sick too long from the treatments. I know that kind of treatment really knocks people around.
Jayne
Thank you Jayne, I do have a good brother. He's more like a dad to me sense we are so far apart in age. :)
He has 10 more treatments to go then the doctors are going to give him a break.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Alyssa Bree on May 13, 2018, 01:30:40 AM
Hi Chelsea!
I love love love that name btw! I have gotten quite a bit out of reading your thread. We all really do seem to go through the same things more or less. It's comforting, in a way, to know it isn't only you dealing with these emotions and situations. I hope things go well between you and your mother. Best wishes on that. I look forward to reading more as you continue to progress!
xoxoxo
Alyssa
Thank you Alyssa and welcome to my silly thread. :)
I came up with the name Chelsea with a friend that I used to work with. She was lesbian and it was very easy to talk to her about my feelings. She also knew about me three years before anyone else. I wanted a name to where I could keep my same initials and we came up with Chelsea. Most all my family calls me by my middle name "Dean" so I imagine that they will call me Deana and I always liked that name too.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hi Chelsea, 13 May 2018
The sky is clearing; the sun is shining. You have a great brother, take care of him (I'm sure you already do). Wish your Mom a Happy Mother's Day from all of us.
Looking forward to seeing you at Bristol Dragway for the upcoming "Street Fights Saturday Night" in "Thunder Valley."
Best Always, Love,
Christine
The guy who is currently using our shop area decided to start a business. We have a fair amount of equipment for metal work but he made a major investment in a plasma table and a large hydraulic metal break. The bottom fell out of the job he was originally setting up for but with all his contacts he has managed to come up with enough odd jobs to keep him busy. Currently I have seen custom gates, truck modifications and repairs, store shelving and custom farm equipment come out of the shop. It's a little more work because much of it requires custom design but word of mouth has kept a steady flow of work moving through the shop and keeps the bills paid.
I'm not sure what you have in your shop but thinking out of the box will keep you less dependent on a single product and produce a more constant income stream.
Quote from: Dena on May 13, 2018, 01:11:37 PM
The guy who is currently using our shop area decided to start a business. We have a fair amount of equipment for metal work but he made a major investment in a plasma table and a large hydraulic metal break. The bottom fell out of the job he was originally setting up for but with all his contacts he has managed to come up with enough odd jobs to keep him busy. Currently I have seen custom gates, truck modifications and repairs, store shelving and custom farm equipment come out of the shop. It's a little more work because much of it requires custom design but word of mouth has kept a steady flow of work moving through the shop and keeps the bills paid.
I'm not sure what you have in your shop but thinking out of the box will keep you less dependent on a single product and produce a more constant income stream.
Thank you Dena.
I have already started designing new parts for the "race guys" I know on the net. I simply ask them what the need for their cars that is either hard to find or impossible to find. I actually have 2 jobs already in the last few hours so this eases my mind a little, plus this will be new products for me.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on May 13, 2018, 08:03:46 AM
Danielle Thank you once again for giving me the idea. I have a mass email option on my store that I just used for the first time. I really forgot about it. I typed a simple email with a discount code for my online store to give everyone a percentage off. Out of my 1600 plus customer list I'm hoping it will generate something.... O and I am a Optimist by the way. :) Its very hard to get me down or depressed, its just sometimes its good for everyone to vent about their daily challenges.
Hugs
Chelsea
Chelsea: I am so glad that you agreed with some of my suggestions regarding your business.... I am so happy to hear that you have garnered some new jobs and also are making some custom parts for your existing and new network of customers.
Cold sales calls and mass mailings do work but many times they result in a low yield of positive results, so the more that you reach out make these kinds of contacts, the more sales you will have. It is good that you already had a mass mail option all ready for you to use for your store....
As
@Dena stated in her reply to you ... diversification of your product offerings will give your business the opportunity to identify with and provide more products for a wider network of prospective and current customers.
When business is down, take any small custom job that you can to make ends meet.
Wishing you sucess in getting your new orders and keeping your business profitable.
Hugs,
Danielle
My girlfriend (Alivia) finally let me take our picture together for the first time. She is not a member of Susan's but she reads my post. She has put up with me for over 10 years and I love this little woman more than words can say. So, its safe to say we are life partners. I'm so glad she loves me through it all. We have had more fun in the two times we have been out together (with me as Chelsea) than we have in the last 5 years.
I had so much fun being a girl tonight and It sure helped me take my mind off my problems for a few hours. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/GRCL7PY.jpg)
Quote from: Chelsea on May 13, 2018, 09:51:32 PM
My girlfriend (Alivia) finally let me take our picture together for the first time. She is not a member of Susan's but she reads my post. She has put up with me for over 10 years and I love this little woman more than words can say. So, its safe to say we are life partners. I'm so glad she loves me through it all. We have had more fun in the two times we have been out together (with me as Chelsea) than we have in the last 5 years.
I had so much fun being a girl tonight and It sure helped me take my mind off my problems for a few hours. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/GRCL7PY.jpg)
Dear Alivia, 13 May 2018
You and Chelsea are a stunningly beautiful couple; I'm happy for both of you and wish you both all the happiness you could ask for, for the rest of your lives together. Take good care of each other.
Glad things are looking up for Chelsea and her business. One of the remarkable assets of Susan's Place is the quality and quantity of advice and help offered by the members.
I hope to meet the both of you at Bristol Dragway this coming August; please convince Chelsea you both need to go..
Best Always, Love
Christine
Quote from: Chelsea on May 13, 2018, 09:51:32 PM
My girlfriend (Alivia) finally let me take our picture together for the first time. She is not a member of Susan's but she reads my post. She has put up with me for over 10 years and I love this little woman more than words can say. So, its safe to say we are life partners. I'm so glad she loves me through it all. We have had more fun in the two times we have been out together (with me as Chelsea) than we have in the last 5 years.
I had so much fun being a girl tonight and It sure helped me take my mind off my problems for a few hours. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/GRCL7PY.jpg)
Chelsea: all I can say, all I need to say is TWO WORDS.
Beautiful LadiesHugs,
Danielle
Chelsea you are always that girl! She is you inside and now outside when you want her to be. Beautiful picture, you two!
Quote from: Chelsea on May 13, 2018, 09:51:32 PM
My girlfriend (Alivia) finally let me take our picture together for the first time. She is not a member of Susan's but she reads my post. She has put up with me for over 10 years and I love this little woman more than words can say. So, its safe to say we are life partners. I'm so glad she loves me through it all. We have had more fun in the two times we have been out together (with me as Chelsea) than we have in the last 5 years.
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/GRCL7PY.jpg)
You two are beautiful! It is so wonderful you have each other.
Quote
I had so much fun being a girl tonight and It sure helped me take my mind off my problems for a few hours. :)
The feeling of being yourself is indescribable. Welcome to the beginning of the rest of your life Chelsea! You have an amazing future waiting for you.
It is a pleasure following your thread. Thank you for sharing.
Jayne
Does anyone here ever go to sleep? Folks stay up all night posting and keeping the wans and lans humming; it's off to lala land for me.
Buenos Noches mis amigas y amigos,
Christine,
Quote from: christinej78 on May 14, 2018, 12:29:49 AM
Does anyone here ever go to sleep? Folks stay up all night posting and keeping the wans and lans humming; it's off to lala land for me.
Buenos Noches mis amigas y amigos,
Christine,
I hear you. My time zone is an hour before Eastern Time, so I have a whole evening and night of posts to catch up on when I sign on in the morning!
@Chelsea and Alivia: You two look great together!
I agree Chelsea, you and Alivia make a beautiful couple!
Judi
Big Hugs to everyone for the sweet comments.
I've got a very busy day today with my brothers car, packaging parts to ship and then drive almost a hour to Knoxville for my 2nd voice therapy appointment. These things make me nervous and the last time I embarrassed myself to the max. I feel like I'm going to fail miserably at this because I just don't understand it.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hi Chelsea I'm really late to your post I've been reading it for past week and half.
I'm so glad that you are happy reading about your coming out to your brother brought many
Tears of joy to my eyes I hope that if you do tell your mum that she is ok and doesn't get too stressed
I've only told a few people about my coming out but haven't started hrt yet.
From what you said about your first voice therapy I'm sure you will do amazing
Xxx
Chloe
Don't be nervous! And do not feel embarrassed. We've all been there and that's why you are going to the voice therapist. Of course you don't understand, that's why you're trying to learn something new. It will make sense soon enough when you become comfortable with your "new" voice. Do your best! We're all here rooting for you.
Judi
Quote from: Chelsea on May 14, 2018, 10:15:26 AM
Big Hugs to everyone for the sweet comments.
I've got a very busy day today with my brothers car, packaging parts to ship and then drive almost a hour to Knoxville for my 2nd voice therapy appointment. These things make me nervous and the last time I embarrassed myself to the max. I feel like I'm going to fail miserably at this because I just don't understand it.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea: Hey girl, it does sound like your day is going to be busy.... my favorite thing in my life is to stay busy.
This reminds me of something that I say all the time... "Busy People are Happy People"
That is so very true in my opinion.
It is great that you are getting to ship some parts, that means you have had some business, that is terrific for sure.
Oh, and I am so happy that you are going back to get more Voice Therapy... please update us with how your 2nd therapy appointment went.... hopefully you are making good progress. It is important that your voice changes catch up with your body changes.
Regarding
"failure" .... if a person thinks that they are going to fail, they will usually find a way to do it.
Hey Chelsea, where is that Chelsea that told me in your previous comment recently yesterday morning??
and I quote you:
"O and I am a Optimist by the way. :) Its very hard to get me down or depressed..."Please continue to keep us updated as you have been.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on May 14, 2018, 10:46:40 AM
Chelsea: Hey girl, it does sound like your day is going to be busy.... my favorite thing in my life is to stay busy.
This reminds me of something that I say all the time... "Busy People are Happy People"
That is so very true in my opinion.
It is great that you are getting to ship some parts, that means you have had some business, that is terrific for sure.
Oh, and I am so happy that you are going back to get more Voice Therapy... please update us with how your 2nd therapy appointment went.... hopefully you are making good progress. It is important that your voice changes catch up with your body changes.
Regarding "failure" .... if a person thinks that they are going to fail, they will usually find a way to do it.
Hey Chelsea, where is that Chelsea that told me in your previous comment recently yesterday morning??
and I quote you: "O and I am a Optimist by the way. :) Its very hard to get me down or depressed..."
Please continue to keep us updated as you have been.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Danielle, Perhaps I used a poor choice of words. Sounds like me because I am not a writer like a lot of you. :)
I really don't think I am going to fail. I am a Optimist and am not down or depressed just a little worried is all.
I do get nervous sometimes thinking about what is at the end of this road for me.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chloe_freebird on May 14, 2018, 10:28:51 AM
Hi Chelsea I'm really late to your post I've been reading it for past week and half.
I'm so glad that you are happy reading about your coming out to your brother brought many
Tears of joy to my eyes I hope that if you do tell your mum that she is ok and doesn't get too stressed
I've only told a few people about my coming out but haven't started hrt yet.
From what you said about your first voice therapy I'm sure you will do amazing
Xxx
Chloe
Thank you Chloe_freebird and welcome to my little mess of a thread. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: JudiBlueEyes on May 14, 2018, 10:35:11 AM
Don't be nervous! And do not feel embarrassed. We've all been there and that's why you are going to the voice therapist. Of course you don't understand, that's why you're trying to learn something new. It will make sense soon enough when you become comfortable with your "new" voice. Do your best! We're all here rooting for you.
Judi
Hi Judi and thank you for commenting. Please let me know how to not be nervous and embarrassed?? I know the therapist is there to help me but, its still not easy making weird noises in front of someone you have only met once. The embarrassment just happens.
I wish I could turn it off,
Hugs,
Chelsea
Ha! If it were that easy! In all honesty you just have to believe in what you're doing and that nothing else matters. I think there's a song in there somewhere. Trust in who you are.
Judi
Quote from: Chelsea on May 14, 2018, 11:50:45 AM
Danielle, Perhaps I used a poor choice of words. Sounds like me because I am not a writer like a lot of you. :)
I really don't think I am going to fail. I am a Optimist and am not down or depressed just a little worried is all.
I do get nervous sometimes thinking about what is at the end of this road for me.
Hugs,
Chelsea
It's a long road with an endless possibility of outcomes. You can drive yourself nuts thinking about it too much. Enjoy the journey. There is no end of the road until we take our final breath and leave this world. Where you think the road may lead now? May very well be someplace entirely different in 5, 10 or 20 years time. 20 years ago, did you ever think you would be out with your girlfriend as Chelsea having fun? I know that I never imagined I would be Jayne.
It's natural to be a little anxious when learning something new. As you learn new skills, the nervousness becomes less and less.
Jayne
Quote from: Chelsea on May 14, 2018, 11:56:06 AM
Hi Judi and thank you for commenting. Please let me know how to not be nervous and embarrassed?? I know the therapist is there to help me but, its still not easy making weird noises in front of someone you have only met once. The embarrassment just happens.
I wish I could turn it off,
Hugs,
Chelsea
The therapist doesn't hear weird noises, they hear exercises that train your voice to achieve s certain goal. They have probably heard all kinds of sounds come out of their clients. And if you happen to make a funny sound, have a laugh about it and move on.
Jayne
Just remember to have fun while your there and that the speech therapist had Hurd it all before laugh at the weard sounds and practice makes perfect
Hope to hear how it went
Xxx
Chloe
Well my voice therapy went great. I had some improvement and the goal now is 190hz so that's a improvement.
I would give more details but I am really bummed. I know I said I don't get that way often but, there is one thing that does it. Weight. I got back home all happy because I done a good job at voice therapy and got on the scale for some reason and I have lost 3 more pounds. That makes 14 pounds sense starting HRT lost. I need to go the other way. I was told HRT would help with weight gain.
I even have had painful events through out life just because of my weight. One for example in Myrtle Beach, SC in 1989 walking on the beach at night minding my own business. These two guys I never have seen in my life came up and told me to my face I looked like a Ethiopian, laughed and walked away. This little episode still haunts me today and cut me deep. All because I have been underweight. This is one of the main reasons I have not "come out" fully.
When I got out of high school I weighed 108 and stayed that way for years. I have been to more than enough doctors through the years, had my thyroid checked more than once. I also had my sister who is a RN give me a few (you girls are gonna hate this) testosterone shots to help gain weight. She tried to talk me out of it just so you know. It did put about 16 pounds on me in a month but made me feel awful inside and this was before I knew I was transgender. I love to eat and do so all the time. I have tried all kind of things that people have told me to eat for weight gain. No luck. It bothers me to the point to I guess I'm dysphoric about my weight but, I do not need a therapist to try and make me feel good about it. I absolutely cannot afford to loose another pound.
I am sorry to complain as I try not to but it helps to vent. I don't expect any replies to this post and that's fine, plus whatever you can suggest I probably have heard before. This Must and Will Change. I just don't know how.
Hugs to all,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on May 14, 2018, 06:05:57 PM
Well my voice therapy went great. I had some improvement and the goal now is 190hz so that's a improvement.
I would give more details but I am really bummed. I know I said I don't get that way often but, there is one thing that does it. Weight. I got back home all happy because I done a good job at voice therapy and got on the scale for some reason and I have lost 3 more pounds. That makes 14 pounds sense starting HRT lost. I need to go the other way. I was told HRT would help with weight gain.
I even have had painful events through out life just because of my weight. One for example in Myrtle Beach, SC in 1989 walking on the beach at night minding my own business. These two guys I never have seen in my life came up and told me to my face I looked like a Ethiopian, laughed and walked away. This little episode still haunts me today and cut me deep. All because I have been underweight. This is one of the main reasons I have not "come out" fully.
When I got out of high school I weighed 108 and stayed that way for years. I have been to more than enough doctors through the years, had my thyroid checked more than once. I also had my sister who is a RN give me a few (you girls are gonna hate this) testosterone shots to help gain weight. She tried to talk me out of it just so you know. It did put about 16 pounds on me in a month but made me feel awful inside and this was before I knew I was transgender. I love to eat and do so all the time. I have tried all kind of things that people have told me to eat for weight gain. No luck. It bothers me to the point to I guess I'm dysphoric about my weight but, I do not need a therapist to try and make me feel good about it. I absolutely cannot afford to loose another pound.
I am sorry to complain as I try not to but it helps to vent. I don't expect any replies to this post and that's fine, plus whatever you can suggest I probably have heard before. This Must and Will Change. I just don't know how.
Hugs to all,
Chelsea
Chelsea: That is good news about your speech therapy,.... what pitch range does your therapist want to end up with for you? Or is 190Hz the final goal??
Now, regarding your weight issues, in that department you are the exact opposite of most others trying to shed pounds.... Oh yeah, the thyroid was my first thought too. Perhaps another doctor, and I know that you have already been to many, might have a new take on the weight issue. Either way, too heavy, too light... can be a big problem but if I were going to have a weight problem I might prefer what you have!!!
Be strong and please continue venting as much as you want and as much as you care too.... lot of listening ears here rooting for you.
Hugs and well wishes,.
Danielle
Yes you are different than most in the weight department, but so am I. I weighed only a little bit more than you when I graduated HS and its taken me decades to add any weight. I am still on the low end of the BMI scale! It can be frustrating but I know my weight will fluctuate sometimes and I'll lose 4-5 lbs. It comes back but that's all. The down side is I don't have body fat for fuller breasts and tush. The up side is I can fit into size 8 and sometimes 6's. Being in my mid-60's, I'll take it.
Don't stress. Eat well and exercise as you can.
Judi
Awesome on the voice front. :)
I was looking into a KETO diet for healthy eating information. There is a youtube on ketoconnect channel. The male did an experiment with eating keto but eating a very large amount of fat, He ate fat bombs. He proved that even on a strict keto diet you can gain weight. You may want to review that diet. There are some people that can not tolerate a high fat diet.
I had a friend that is adhd and when she went off her meds her concentration went to hell and she lost weight. When she went back on meds she did awesome in her college classes and regained lost weight. She was still thin but also muscular.
Good luck on the weight front.
Thank you everyone. Rachel I have not heard of the KETO diet but I certainly will check it out. I am to the point now that I will do anything for weight gain healthy or not.
I don't like being down and I still feel Horrible about my weight thing but I am going to post something positive now.
I got to my appointment today 5 mins late and my voice therapist went over the things from the previous week and the goals she had set aside for me. All these numbers shes showing me are Chinese to me. Today makes the second time she has said that I was doing remarkably well. Today I have moved up from making silly sounds to actual words. :laugh: I am working on week 4 things at week 2. I guess that's good?
She started me on "M" words first. I did say once "Hi my name is Chelsea" but it sounded like a robot female to me. She ask me if it was ok to record my voice on the next visit and play it back to me. She told me it sounds a lot better on the outside than it does in your head, so we will see.
I am starting to get over being nervous with her and feel comfortable, or at least today I did. I was the last appointment that she had today so we hang out for about 10 minuets talking and got into talking about makeup. Without thinking I pulled out my phone and showed her a picture of Chelsea and immediately felt this heat wave of embarrassment come over me. She made me feel so good by telling me that I was beautiful and how did I learn to be a makeup artist. I'm busted now she has already seen the pic so I told her about the "tape facelift" I do. I left there today feeling great and I have made a little progress in my voice. It was the scale that brought me down but I'm gonna be fine. Below is the pic I showed the therapist and please excuse the adams apple. I hate that thing and that is the only reason I wear that black choker is to hide it. You can see my age in this one and can tell I need a facelift.
When I started writing this I was feeling terrible and this has helped me to feel better in just a few minuets. I am a "little girl" but I don't stay down long. Thank you everyone for reading the mess. I'm going to cook something now. LOL
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/Gn02pwJ.jpg)
I as well was concerned about the weight issue but have been fortunate in that I'm still
Losing. I need to as I've been too heavy too long I've dropped 8 pounds in 10 days. That put me right about 90 pounds in 1yr and 4 months.
It's good but costly as Im forever buying new size cloths and bras.
You look absolutely gorgeous girl. I wish I looked half that good. Keep up the good work
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on May 14, 2018, 06:19:32 PM
Chelsea: That is good news about your speech therapy,.... what pitch range does your therapist want to end up with for you? Or is 190Hz the final goal??
Danielle
Danielle I'm sorry, I must have not seen your question.
She said this is very good but we can change it again later, depending on how I progress. My therapist is about 177hz and she sounds very feminine to me. Its all looks good on paper and numbers but I need to hear it to believe it.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hi Chelsea glad to heat your voice lesson went well
About your weight issue I've had same thing my entire life
Have you tried going to gym lifting light weights it helped me a while back
You don't have to go heavy no one wants arnald arms eww
And then after gym having a solid meal I gained like 6 kg in 3 months
Hope this helps
Chloe
Quote from: Chloe_freebird on May 15, 2018, 05:08:45 AM
Hi Chelsea glad to heat your voice lesson went well
About your weight issue I've had same thing my entire life
Have you tried going to gym lifting light weights it helped me a while back
You don't have to go heavy no one wants arnald arms eww
And then after gym having a solid meal I gained like 6 kg in 3 months
Hope this helps
Chloe
Hi Chloe. I workout 3 times a week, mostly on my legs and butt now. Back in my guy days I did mostly upper body exercises. I'm still trying to gain with no luck yet.
Hugs,
Chelsea
It is so cool that you are making progress with your voice therapy!! Keep rolling along girl!
xoxoxo
Alyssa
Quote from: Chelsea on May 14, 2018, 06:05:57 PM
.
.
I even have had painful events through out life just because of my weight. One for example in Myrtle Beach, SC in 1989 walking on the beach at night minding my own business. These two guys I never have seen in my life came up and told me to my face I looked like a Ethiopian, laughed and walked away. This little episode still haunts me today and cut me deep. All because I have been underweight. This is one of the main reasons I have not "come out" fully.
.
.
I am sorry to complain as I try not to but it helps to vent. I don't expect any replies to this post and that's fine, plus whatever you can suggest I probably have heard before. This Must and Will Change. I just don't know how.
Hugs to all,
Chelsea
Good Afternoon Chelsea, 15 May 2018
Do you know any Ethiopians? Do you know what they look like? Have you ever seen one? For one, they have dark skin; do you? Like every other race they have people of all shapes and sizes; they have beautiful people.
That happened 29 years ago when you were 11. Don't allow the ignorant opinion of two stupid jerks affect your life. Opinions are like A-holes, everyone has one. They are worth exactly what they cost... Nothing!
Sorry Dena, I don't know of a better way of saying what I think needed to be said. Fix it if it needs a-fixen.
If you are on Spironolactone (SPIRO), aka Aldactone among others, you might be interested in the following link:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spironolactone
You are extremely beautiful; if I could look 1/10 as good as you do, I'd be dancing in the streets rejoicing. It ain't going to happen and I accept it. I will look as good as the orchi and the magic mushrooms (hrt) produce, and maybe with a little help from a
MINOR face lift. Remember, I'm 38 years past 40.
I said I wouldn't rag on you; I don't think this post is ragging. I really care about you and how your life turns out; why, I think it was your post about you outing yourself to your Brother, it brought me to tears. I want to see you succeed.
Hoping to see you at Bristol Dragway.
Best Always and Love to you, your Girlfriend and family,
Christine
Quote from: christinej78 on May 15, 2018, 12:08:44 PM
Good Afternoon Chelsea, 15 May 2018
Do you know any Ethiopians? Do you know what they look like? Have you ever seen one? For one, they have dark skin; do you? Like every other race they have people of all shapes and sizes; they have beautiful people.
These people called me a Ethiopian because I'm skinny and nothing else.
Quote from: christinej78 on May 15, 2018, 12:08:44 PM
That happened 29 years ago when you were 11. Don't allow the ignorant opinion of two stupid jerks affect your life. Opinions are like A-holes, everyone has one. They are worth exactly what they cost... Nothing!
I was not 11. I am 46 years old and have lied to you all. I did not mean any harm. I missed my younger years as a girl and I want to look as young as I can, no matter the pain or cost. When I first joined Susan's I didn't know how nice everyone was and was afraid that I would be made fun of or picked on. Those guys told me what they thought. If I had been the correct size and weight they would have just walked on by.
Quote from: christinej78 on May 15, 2018, 12:08:44 PM
If you are on Spironolactone (SPIRO), aka Aldactone among others, you might be interested in the following link:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spironolactone
Yeah I have seen that years ago. I read on the HRT medications and knew what my doctor would prescribe me even before. I even guess really close to what my dosage she put me on.
Quote from: christinej78 on May 15, 2018, 12:08:44 PM
I said I wouldn't rag on you; I don't think this post is ragging. I really care about you and how your life turns out; why, I think it was your post about you outing yourself to your Brother, it brought me to tears. I want to see you succeed.
Hoping to see you at Bristol Dragway.
Thank you for the comments but I will not be a Bristol for at least two more years.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Alyssa Bree on May 15, 2018, 11:22:42 AM
It is so cool that you are making progress with your voice therapy!! Keep rolling along girl!
xoxoxo
Alyssa
Alyssa Thank you! :)
Hi Chelsea
I was stunned when you said you were 46 I thought you looked early 30s
I hope whe I start hrt that I look half as prity as you and I'm 29
Age is nothing but a number and your only as old as you feel ;)
Xxx
Chloe
Quote from: Chloe_freebird on May 15, 2018, 12:57:59 PM
Hi Chelsea
I was stunned when you said you were 46 I thought you looked early 30s
I hope whe I start hrt that I look half as prity as you and I'm 29
Age is nothing but a number and your only as old as you feel ;)
Xxx
Chloe
That's great because I still feel like I did in my 20's. I'm going to see Dr. Keelee MacPhee in a few months just to get a price and let her tell me what I need.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Dear Chelsea, 15 May 2018
You win; I know when I'm licked.
If ever there is anything I can do for you, let me know. There are folks here that know how to contact me.
Best Always, Love,
Christine
Quote from: christinej78 on May 15, 2018, 01:16:44 PM
Dear Chelsea, 15 May 2018
You win; I know when I'm licked.
If ever there is anything I can do for you, let me know. There are folks here that know how to contact me.
Best Always, Love,
Christine
I do not understand. I post here all the time.
Chelsea, you are beautiful. No kidding beautiful.
I am happy you are progressing on your voice. Ask about sliders. I was taught to do sliders with a straw (small diameter straw and I do them in my car to work). This helps to maintain the back of your throat open and maintain air flow. It is an easy way to train to keep your throat open and raise your larynx (when you yawn your larynx shifts up, it takes practice). Some people say to squeeze your throat but that strains it and will harm it over time. Keep the back of your throat open and raise your larynx. Keep your back, neck and throat in proper line. This will project your voice to your nasal area.
Fill your tummy full of air and use that to act as a bellow. Their at a lot of things I can share but you are new to voice and need to learn one thing at a time. You sound like you will do well.
If you add fat bombs to your diet you will gain weight.
Hormones ( E and T, you need T) at proper levels and leg work are two of the three pathways to catabolize fat. Eating more fat will help in maintaining your weight and gaining. Fat bombs are tasty and will add calories you need. Lookup ketoconnect on YouTube and from there fat bombs. You are doing this to get fat calories in you.
Let the hormones take hold before you do a face lift. If you do any bone work in the lower jaw make sure you wait a year after the bone work to get a face lift. I will need to redo my face lift to tighten the skin again. I did bone and face lift at the same time. I had a type 3 and brow work and far head lowering and that helped the upper face. My face lift did wonders but if I waited a year it would have been 100% and not 80%.
I eat colleen every day (and many other things) and in 6 months my nails, hair and skin are doing awesome. I get collagen by bulk and take at least 1 scoop a day. I make granola and there is a scoop in every bag (12 to 14 baggies a batch). You can add it into anything.
Quote from: Rachel on May 15, 2018, 01:35:29 PM
Chelsea, you are beautiful. No kidding beautiful.
I am happy you are progressing on your voice. Ask about sliders. I was taught to do sliders with a straw (small diameter straw and I do them in my car to work). This helps to maintain the back of your throat open and maintain air flow. It is an easy way to train to keep your throat open and raise your larynx (when you yawn your larynx shifts up, it takes practice). Some people say to squeeze your throat but that strains it and will harm it over time. Keep the back of your throat open and raise your larynx. Keep your back, neck and throat in proper line. This will project your voice to your nasal area.
Fill your tummy full of air and use that to act as a bellow. Their at a lot of things I can share but you are new to voice and need to learn one thing at a time. You sound like you will do well.
If you add fat bombs to your diet you will gain weight.
Hormones ( E and T, you need T) at proper levels and leg work are two of the three pathways to catabolize fat. Eating more fat will help in maintaining your weight and gaining. Fat bombs are tasty and will add calories you need. Lookup ketoconnect on YouTube and from there fat bombs. You are doing this to get fat calories in you.
Let the hormones take hold before you do a face lift. If you do any bone work in the lower jaw make sure you wait a year after the bone work to get a face lift. I will need to redo my face lift to tighten the skin again. I did bone and face lift at the same time. I had a type 3 and brow work and far head lowering and that helped the upper face. My face lift did wonders but if I waited a year it would have been 100% and not 80%.
I eat colleen every day (and many other things) and in 6 months my nails, hair and skin are doing awesome. I get collagen by bulk and take at least 1 scoop a day. I make granola and there is a scoop in every bag (12 to 14 baggies a batch). You can add it into anything.
Rachel Thank you so much.
Thank you for the voice tips. Some of them I already do like raising the larynx but its hard to get used to,
plus my voice gets tired really easy right now.
I have no idea what fat bombs are but I will definitely look into it today, and it sounds like what I need.
I am waiting on the facelift to give the HRT time. I just wanted to see her just to give me a idea of how much money to save and what I need. I hope I don't need much surgery but I'm ok if I do.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on May 15, 2018, 01:00:51 PM
That's great because I still feel like I did in my 20's. I'm going to see Dr. Keelee MacPhee in a few months just to get a price and let her tell me what I need.
Hugs,
Chelsea
That's the spirit
Xxx
Chloe
I wouldn't have guessed you were in the mid 40s at all. Being who you are is one way to feel young. It's certainly helped me.
Congrats on the voice progress.
Judi
Quote from: Chelsea on May 15, 2018, 01:20:03 PM
I do not understand. I post here all the time.
Dear Chelsea, 16 May 2018
I'm here now and will be forever. Please take care.
Best Always, Love,
Christine
Woke up this morning and found my finances are just unrecoverable. Bank in the negative and no money to put back in and tonight will be another overdraw fee. The fight in me left this morning and I am nervous to the point I am sick and throwing up. I cannot finish transitioning with no money and don't even have money for a refill of my medicine. I have never been this down in my life to the point of not wanting to be on this earth anymore. If this is disturbing mod please delete. Love all of you and sooo sorry if I have wasted your time.
Charles
Quote from: Chelsea on May 16, 2018, 11:01:55 AM
Woke up this morning and found my finances are just unrecoverable. Bank in the negative and no money to put back in and tonight will be another overdraw fee. The fight in me left this morning and I am nervous to the point I am sick and throwing up. I cannot finish transitioning with no money and don't even have money for a refill of my medicine. I have never been this down in my life to the point of not wanting to be on this earth anymore. If this is disturbing mod please delete. Love all of you and sooo sorry if I have wasted your time.
Charles
Hi Chelsea please dont think like that at times things can be tough money is always a never ending issue
You have your family and friends looking out for you.
I'm not exactly sure what you do for work but your an amazing car painter could you pick up some contracts for that in the time being ?
This is unrelated but I did stand up paddle boarding once and the instructor said the most amazing advice
When you look down you fall down look up stay up that can be applied to all walks in life
I hope things get better for you
We are all there to support
Hugs xxx
Chloe
Quote from: Chelsea on May 16, 2018, 11:01:55 AM
Woke up this morning and found my finances are just unrecoverable. Bank in the negative and no money to put back in and tonight will be another overdraw fee. The fight in me left this morning and I am nervous to the point I am sick and throwing up. I cannot finish transitioning with no money and don't even have money for a refill of my medicine. I have never been this down in my life to the point of not wanting to be on this earth anymore. If this is disturbing mod please delete. Love all of you and sooo sorry if I have wasted your time.
Charles
Chelsea: I know that that it was
no accident that you signed your post reply with your old male name. Come on girl, you are going to get out of this financial fix, believe in yourself. Temporarily many self-employed business people, when going through tough times with their business ... go out and get a part time job or even a full time job for a spell.
Get your feet on the pavement, or get your fingers working on the internet and put some job applications out there. Even a low wage job at a gas station, convenience store, Wal-Mart, etc will help to offset some of your living expenses and thwart off disaster.... or some "shade tree" mechanic or car body work that you can do.
I know that saying "hang in there" gets old after hearing it frequently... but chin up, take action to get action.
Please keep us updated. ....
and no, Chelsea, no one is going to delete.... so you don't do it either.
Hugs and as always best wishes to you .... and "hang in there"
Danielle
Note: feel free to PM me if you have anything more that you want to discuss. <3
Quote from: Chelsea on May 16, 2018, 11:01:55 AM
Woke up this morning and found my finances are just unrecoverable. Bank in the negative and no money to put back in and tonight will be another overdraw fee. The fight in me left this morning and I am nervous to the point I am sick and throwing up. I cannot finish transitioning with no money and don't even have money for a refill of my medicine. I have never been this down in my life to the point of not wanting to be on this earth anymore. If this is disturbing mod please delete. Love all of you and sooo sorry if I have wasted your time.
Charles
Chelsea, you are not wasting anyone's time. We are here to offer whatever support we can. There is a way out of your financial troubles, there is always a way, but you need a clear mind to find it. I can understand how the financial stress can weigh you down to the point of feeling paralysed. I have never run my own business, but I grew up with my parents running their own business. They had experienced similar hardships when the business stopped bringing in money. They found alternative ways for the business to make money, and if that didn't work, then they went out and found a job with someone else until they figured out a way to get their business up and running again. Once, they even completely changed the type of industry their business was in, they went from manufacturing clothing for the retail stores to manufacturing ceramic products for the home. There are alternatives out there for you.
What are your skills, how can you use those skills to make some income? What jobs are available that don't require specialised skills, to keep you going for the short term? If you have been feeling sick and throwing up from the anxiety, try and calm your mind, eat some food and sit down with your girlfriend to try and come up with various plans and backup plans. It sounds like cashflow is your immediate problem. Prioritise what you need to do and then create some plans on how to achieve these plans.
I don't know who this Charles person is. I have signed off on many of my posts as John when I felt down and beaten. It only made me feel worse. I am Jayne and you are Chelsea. Keep your head up and get your brain working to find a way to put your skills to good use.
Keep venting here as much as you like. We are here to help. Someone might be along that helps you come up with the right idea to get you back on your feet.
Don't give up!
(((((Hug)))))
Jayne
Quote from: Chelsea on May 16, 2018, 11:01:55 AM
Woke up this morning and found my finances are just unrecoverable. Bank in the negative and no money to put back in and tonight will be another overdraw fee. The fight in me left this morning and I am nervous to the point I am sick and throwing up. I cannot finish transitioning with no money and don't even have money for a refill of my medicine. I have never been this down in my life to the point of not wanting to be on this earth anymore. If this is disturbing mod please delete. Love all of you and sooo sorry if I have wasted your time.
Charles
Okay Girlfriend,
That'll be enough of that nonsense! >:( "not wanting to be on this earth anymore" I have been there Chelsea. I have been there recently if you will remember.. It is NOT good. Not good at all, but Hun, I understand that sometimes our problems in life can feel insurmountable. All to often though Chel, we find that there does exist some solution. These solutions can be things we don't want to do but become necessary. Take a look around you. Do you have something you could sell? Something you have that others might want that you can replace later? Can you have a garage sale? Is there some temporary work you can do for someone in the area? Anything thing? Come on girl think! There must be something you can do about it.
But not wanting to be here is NOT an option!! Do you hear me?
Big Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Chelsea on May 16, 2018, 11:01:55 AM
Woke up this morning and found my finances are just unrecoverable. Bank in the negative and no money to put back in and tonight will be another overdraw fee. The fight in me left this morning and I am nervous to the point I am sick and throwing up. I cannot finish transitioning with no money and don't even have money for a refill of my medicine.
Hi Chelsea, 17 May 18
I hope you are feeling better and have had time to think through your situation. Negative thoughts only make it seem worse. Remember, no matter how cloudy it is the sun always comes up in the morning.
You have a lot of friends here so please return to posting soon. We miss you!!!
Best Always, Love,
Christine
You will come out on the other side of this Chelsea. I just know it, You have an amazing spirit. If nothing else, sell/pawn a few things just to continue HRT. When things turn around, you can always restart the other things. Transitioning seems to be a very positive thing for you and obviously makes you happy. At times like these, you need that happiness to sustain you.
xoxoxo
Alyssa
I got a few emails from concerned members. Just wanted to chime in a say i'm not doing anything stupid. That is just the feelings I'm having. Im working really hard to fix this and don't have much time. I will try and post something tonight but cant promise anything. Love all of you and thank you for everything.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on May 17, 2018, 10:00:11 AM
I got a few emails from concerned members. Just wanted to chime in a say i'm not doing anything stupid. That is just the feelings I'm having. Im working really hard to fix this and don't have much time. I will try and post something tonight but cant promise anything. Love all of you and thank you for everything.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Dear Chelsea, 17 May 2018
It seems that things are looking up, which I hope they are and continue. Please take care, stay safe and keep us posted on how things are going. All of us here love you.
Best Always, Love,
Christine
Quote from: Chelsea on May 17, 2018, 10:00:11 AM
I got a few emails from concerned members. Just wanted to chime in a say i'm not doing anything stupid. That is just the feelings I'm having. Im working really hard to fix this and don't have much time. I will try and post something tonight but cant promise anything. Love all of you and thank you for everything.
Hugs,
Chelsea
As I had said to you in a post before, you are a strong, courageous woman and will work through the problems of today. Solutions may not seem to be directly at your finger tips but you will find them. They may be a solution just to get you through the short term or ones that will lead to an even better direction. Work to get through this short term issue and the future will look after itself. I have always seen you as a positive thinker. Yes, daily issues occur, but you do have a positive view of the future. You can see it in the mirror! Sending positive thoughts! Hugs, Kelly
Quote from: Chelsea on May 17, 2018, 10:00:11 AM
I got a few emails from concerned members. Just wanted to chime in a say i'm not doing anything stupid. That is just the feelings I'm having. Im working really hard to fix this and don't have much time. I will try and post something tonight but cant promise anything. Love all of you and thank you for everything.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea, thank you for the quick update letting us know you are ok. You just concentrate on fixing your current situation, that is your priority. Don't worry too much about posting updates here if your are too busy. If you can spare a few minutes just to let us know that you are ok, that would be nice so we don't worry about you.
Take care of yourself.
Jayne
Chelsea,
I too am glad to hear that you're doing OK, I've been following your thread and will continue to look for your updates. You are very inspiring and I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch. May it turn around for you soon.
Had Another Great Day!
It started off with work and more work. :) After all that I went to mom's as always I check on her every day. Alivia cooked dinner and we all sit around and had a good time. About 2 hours later Alivia went back home and I spent the next two hours with mom. I did the impossible and told my mother I'm transgender. I didn't just up and say "I'm transgender" I had to explain to her everything. If I had not done it this way she would have just gotten angry because she had a different outlook on transgender people until today.
At the time all the boys my age hit puberty and had a growth spurt, I did not. All the guys around me had harry legs and muscles and I was still like a kid. My mother takes me then to a doctor in Knoxville that give me testosterone shots for a month or so to "kick start me" the doctor said. I never told mom but after about 2 or 3 months after those shots is when I started having my first gender thoughts. I sit down today and told her everything that has been going through my head from that moment. She just sit and listen to me the entire time without getting emotional or angry. (Like I thought)
After I was done she ask me a lot of questions and end the end her last comment was "I just want you happy and I love you." Just like my brother I did not think this was going to go well. I would not have told her if it wasn't for the stress I have been under this week over finances. I was to the point of "It can't get any worse". She said It's gonna take some getting used to so I'm not going to take Chelsea around her just yet. I am so lucky to have her still in my life.
So good news.............. I'm OUT!! I don't have to hide anymore!! :D
BIG Hugs
Chelsea
That's great Chelsea, so happy for you!
Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk
Quote from: Chelsea on May 17, 2018, 09:45:41 PM
Had Another Great Day!
It started off with work and more work. :) After all that I went to mom's as always I check on her every day. Alivia cooked dinner and we all sit around and had a good time. About 2 hours later Alivia went back home and spent the next two hours with mom. I did the impossible and told my mother I'm transgender. I didn't just up and say "I'm transgender" I had to explain to her everything. If I had not done it this way she would have just gotten angry because she had a different outlook on transgender people until today.
At the time all the boys my age hit puberty and had a growth spurt, I did not. All the guys around me had harry legs and muscles and I was still like a kid. My mother takes me then to a doctor in Knoxville that give me testosterone shots for a month or so to "kick start me" the doctor said. I never told mom but after about 2 or 3 months after those shots is when I started having my first gender thoughts. I sit down today and told her everything that has been going through my head from that moment. She just sit and listen to me the entire time without getting emotional or angry. (Like I thought)
After I was done she ask me a lot of questions and end the end her last comment was "I just want you happy and I love you." Just like my brother I did not think this was going to go well. I would not have told her if it wasn't for the stress I have been under this week over finances. I was to the point of "It can't get any worse". She said It's gonna take some getting used to so I'm not going to take Chelsea around her just yet. I am so lucky to have her still in my life.
So good news.............. I'm OUT!! I don't have to hide anymore!! :D
BIG Hugs
Chelsea
Chelsea!!!! That is great news!! I am sooo glad telling her did not go like you feared it would. I know that fear too Hun we all do. And yet time and time again our fears turn out to be less than what we imagine. We humans are put together to fear things and our mind magnifies those fears. It is an ingrained survival instinct. Even knowing this we fall prey to those fears and it either paralyzes us or causes us to run from them. We cannot help it. But if we confront those fears they seldom pan out to be anything like what we thought.
I'm proud of you girl.
You will work through your others problems also. I believe you can and will.
Hugs,
(officially) Laurie
Quote from: Chelsea on May 17, 2018, 09:45:41 PM
Had Another Great Day!
It started off with work and more work. :) After all that I went to mom's as always I check on her every day. Alivia cooked dinner and we all sit around and had a good time. About 2 hours later Alivia went back home and spent the next two hours with mom. I did the impossible and told my mother I'm transgender. I didn't just up and say "I'm transgender" I had to explain to her everything. If I had not done it this way she would have just gotten angry because she had a different outlook on transgender people until today.
At the time all the boys my age hit puberty and had a growth spurt, I did not. All the guys around me had harry legs and muscles and I was still like a kid. My mother takes me then to a doctor in Knoxville that give me testosterone shots for a month or so to "kick start me" the doctor said. I never told mom but after about 2 or 3 months after those shots is when I started having my first gender thoughts. I sit down today and told her everything that has been going through my head from that moment. She just sit and listen to me the entire time without getting emotional or angry. (Like I thought)
After I was done she ask me a lot of questions and end the end her last comment was "I just want you happy and I love you." Just like my brother I did not think this was going to go well. I would not have told her if it wasn't for the stress I have been under this week over finances. I was to the point of "It can't get any worse". She said It's gonna take some getting used to so I'm not going to take Chelsea around her just yet. I am so lucky to have her still in my life.
So good news.............. I'm OUT!! I don't have to hide anymore!! :D
BIG Hugs
Chelsea
@Chelsea .... wow, that is a great and wonderful report from you today.... what a difference that a day or two can make. I know that besides me that there were lots of your readers very worried about you.
It is so very good to hear a happy and positive vibe coming from you this evening.
Oh yeah, isn't it like a big weight is now off of you shoulders after coming out to your mother??? Enjoy the peace about your transition journey now. It was nice that your mother had a good reaction to your announcement and you were wise to not just blurt out that you are transgender, instead you took the time to explain your feelings and the how and why... again, very smart move on your part.
Regarding your childhood as a boy or young man, I had similar problems, in high school and in college I was a skinny runt of a guy, no muscles, no bulk, very short, only 5'4"... 5'5" if I fluffed up my hair... I had a soft girlish face, and a voice to match. very light and thin body and face hair and basically looked like a flat chested girl. I was constantly and rudely bullied and had a difficult time being around my male classmates because they had turned into men with bulk, muscles, tall height, face and body hair, and deep male voices. The locker room scene was torture. All of that, of course worked in my favor as I transitioned in my early 30's. Even the girls I dated noticed and commented on all of that.... not exactly what a guy wants to hear from a potential girlfriend.
Some of what was going on with me sounds similar to some of your story too.
Wow, and you reported that you have "work and more work" ... hopefully that turns into proceeds and profit for your business and you can start getting caught up.... another big burden lifted!!!
Thanks for reporting in and your wonderful update.
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle.
Quote from: Chelsea on May 17, 2018, 09:45:41 PM
Had Another Great Day!
It started off with work and more work. :) After all that I went to mom's as always I check on her every day. Alivia cooked dinner and we all sit around and had a good time. About 2 hours later Alivia went back home and spent the next two hours with mom. I did the impossible and told my mother I'm transgender. I didn't just up and say "I'm transgender" I had to explain to her everything. If I had not done it this way she would have just gotten angry because she had a different outlook on transgender people until today.
At the time all the boys my age hit puberty and had a growth spurt, I did not. All the guys around me had harry legs and muscles and I was still like a kid. My mother takes me then to a doctor in Knoxville that give me testosterone shots for a month or so to "kick start me" the doctor said. I never told mom but after about 2 or 3 months after those shots is when I started having my first gender thoughts. I sit down today and told her everything that has been going through my head from that moment. She just sit and listen to me the entire time without getting emotional or angry. (Like I thought)
After I was done she ask me a lot of questions and end the end her last comment was "I just want you happy and I love you." Just like my brother I did not think this was going to go well. I would not have told her if it wasn't for the stress I have been under this week over finances. I was to the point of "It can't get any worse". She said It's gonna take some getting used to so I'm not going to take Chelsea around her just yet. I am so lucky to have her still in my life.
So good news.............. I'm OUT!! I don't have to hide anymore!! :D
BIG Hugs
Chelsea
Dear Chelsea, 17 May 2018
Mom's are special and you have a real Jewel of a Mom. Very happy you have had "Another Great Day" in your life.
Not having to hide is a great feeling; it's telling the truth about who we really are. That took a lot of courage to tell your Mom; I think I guessed right that she would welcome her new daughter.
Keep your attitude positive and everything will get better. I'm proud of you for letting your Mother know the real Chelsea. I'm sure she is very happy to have her new daughter.
Chelsea, you are a very special lady and I know you are going to get your business running smoothly again. You are an intelligent and talented young woman; I know you can do it.
Best Always, all my Love,
Christine
Thank you everyone! :) I'm so happy that is one worry gone!
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on May 17, 2018, 10:05:01 PM
@Chelsea .... wow, that is a great and wonderful report from you today.... what a difference that a day or two can make. I know that besides me that there were lots of your readers very worried about you.
It is so very good to hear a happy and positive vibe coming from you this evening.
Oh yeah, isn't it like a big weight is now off of you shoulders after coming out to your mother??? Enjoy the peace about your transition journey now. It was nice that your mother had a good reaction to your announcement and you were wise to not just blurt out that you are transgender, instead you took the time to explain your feelings and the how and why... again, very smart move on your part.
Regarding your childhood as a boy or young man, I had similar problems, in high school and in college I was a skinny runt of a guy, no muscles, no bulk, very short, only 5'4"... 5'5" if I fluffed up my hair... I had a soft girlish face, and a voice to match. very light and thin body and face hair and basically looked like a flat chested girl. I was constantly and rudely bullied and had a difficult time being around my male classmates because they had turned into men with bulk, muscles, tall height, face and body hair, and deep male voices. The locker room scene was torture. All of that, of course worked in my favor as I transitioned in my early 30's. Even the girls I dated noticed and commented on all of that.... not exactly what a guy wants to hear from a potential girlfriend.
Some of what was going on with me sounds similar to some of your story too.
Wow, and you reported that you have "work and more work" ... hopefully that turns into proceeds and profit for your business and you can start getting caught up.... another big burden lifted!!!
Thanks for reporting in and your wonderful update.
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle.
Danielle, that story of your childhood give me cold chills. You described my 5th grade through 9th grade exactly like it happened, Except for the soft voice. I always had a feminine build but was easily hidden with the way I dressed. Now that I think because of that I should do good transitioning. At least I hope it does. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on May 17, 2018, 10:27:48 PM
Danielle, that story of your childhood give me cold chills. You described my 5th grade through 9th grade exactly like it happened, Except for the soft voice. I always had a feminine build but was easily hidden with the way I dressed. Now that I think because of that I should do good transitioning. At least I hope it does. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Dear Chelsea, 17 may 2018
From how you describe yourself, you should have one of the easiest transitions.
I remember when I went to my first high school reunion. The reunion committee assigned the seats so as luck would have it, I was seated directly across from the most beautiful woman in the dining room. All eyes were on her; I couldn't remember who she was and couldn't remember anyone looking as good as she did.
After dinner I went and got my yearbook and looked her up. I could not believe what I saw. In high school she was so plain looking I don't think anyone would have given her a second glance and most likely not even a first.
The first reunion I attended was the 30th so she was now 48 years young. The first thing that came to my mind was "How are the gals that were the class beauties doing these days?" I won't say what I thought back then cause it
"weren't purddy."Everyone has his or her day, and that day was hers.
Chelsea, you will have yours big time because you already poses natural beauty.
Best Always, All my Love,
Christine
Chelsea, I am so glad you came out to your mother the way you did and that it went smoothly. It must feel amazing for you to be out to everyone that matters to you. Also, great news about work and more work.
Life has a way of presenting us with unexpected opportunities when we least expect them. Never give up hope! I am so happy for you.
Hug,
Jayne
Hi Chelsea I'm so happy that things are looking up for you and your how you mother said she wants you to be happy that means alot .when I told my mother I thought same as you but she was also accepting and is coming to my apointment
I hope that you continue to get good business and can get on top of everything
Xxx
Hugs
Chloe
Ahhh! congrats on coming out! I'm proud of you and happy for you!!
Thank you ladies. :) You all are so good to me.
Yesterday I was so busy from work that I'm sore all over like a hard workout. I have been running the CNC machines and in between sanding on my brothers car for final buff. Yesterday he come over and wanted to get my old Mustang out. We literally had to dig it out of my basement. This is the first time she (I have always give my cars girl names. lol) has seen daylight in over 23 years. This has been a ongoing joke with my brother for years. He used to say my basement was like death row for cars, once in, they never come out. Well now she's out and next week shes going to my brothers for repair. I know its just a car but it was a big part of my growing up and I'm gonna be so happy once I'm in the drivers seat, especially as Chelsea with the T-tops out.
The scale this morning was looking a little better. :) I have put on 2 pounds finally. This is the first time I have put on any weight at all sense starting HRT. I started drinking those Ensure drinks that are way too expensive, and they seem to be doing something. The only thing is they also have 400mg of potassium. I don't have another blood test for a few weeks and hope these are safe with me taking spiro. I have only been drinking them with my evening meals.
Also I noticed yesterday that the palms of my hands are super soft. Alivia said it felt like she was holding a girls hand. When she said that I lost it and started crying I was so happy. I'm approaching month three and I can tell the emotions are stronger. I cry at the drop of a dime, but its usually happy things.
I know my post are a little jumbled and all over the place, but you girls know me by now. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
See what your test say Chelsea, I was surprised at the potassium levels in protein bars as well. I did find one brand that has none. Last blood work potassium was right where it should be.
Quote from: Chelsea on May 19, 2018, 08:11:56 AM
Thank you ladies. :) You all are so good to me.
Yesterday I was so busy from work that I'm sore all over like a hard workout. I have been running the CNC machines and in between sanding on my brothers car for final buff. Yesterday he come over and wanted to get my old Mustang out. We literally had to dig it out of my basement. This is the first time she (I have always give my cars girl names. lol) has seen daylight in over 23 years. This has been a ongoing joke with my brother for years. He used to say my basement was like death row for cars, once in, they never come out. Well now she's out and next week shes going to my brothers for repair. I know its just a car but it was a big part of my growing up and I'm gonna be so happy once I'm in the drivers seat, especially as Chelsea with the T-tops out.
The scale this morning was looking a little better. :) I have put on 2 pounds finally. This is the first time I have put on any weight at all sense starting HRT. I started drinking those Ensure drinks that are way too expensive, and they seem to be doing something. The only thing is they also have 400mg of potassium. I don't have another blood test for a few weeks and hope these are safe with me taking spiro. I have only been drinking them with my evening meals.
Also I noticed yesterday that the palms of my hands are super soft. Alivia said it felt like she was holding a girls hand. When she said that I lost it and started crying I was so happy. I'm approaching month three and I can tell the emotions are stronger. I cry at the drop of a dime, but its usually happy things.
I know my post are a little jumbled and all over the place, but you girls know me by now. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Dear Chelsea, 19 May 2018
Please be careful while on Spiro; too much Potassium can cause problems. I'm sure you already know this, just "a-remindin."
Best Always, Love,
Christine
"the old nag" that cares
I've been away for a couple days and just caught up. Great news about the work. I hope it continues. That was nice of your brother to get you to pull out the Mustang. What year is it? With t-tops I assume it's a Fox body? 5.0?
Awesome news about your mother. It will take a bit for her to digest the news but it sounds like all is well. As you say, no more hiding. Wonderful.
Like several others I was always small in stature when young. I did have a growth spurt at 18 but my frame stayed the same so I am far from having a bulky build. It's worked out great now. Ha!
Hugs, Judi
Quote from: Donna on May 19, 2018, 11:55:52 AM
See what your test say Chelsea, I was surprised at the potassium levels in protein bars as well. I did find one brand that has none. Last blood work potassium was right where it should be.
I think my blood is fine too, I always worry about everything heath wise. I have only been drinking them at night and so far they are helping with the weight issue. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: christinej78 on May 19, 2018, 12:13:04 PM
Dear Chelsea, 19 May 2018
Please be careful while on Spiro; too much Potassium can cause problems. I'm sure you already know this, just "a-remindin."
Best Always, Love,
Christine "the old nag" that cares
Thank you Christine. Caring is not nagging. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: JudiBlueEyes on May 19, 2018, 12:47:46 PM
I've been away for a couple days and just caught up. Great news about the work. I hope it continues. That was nice of your brother to get you to pull out the Mustang. What year is it? With t-tops I assume it's a Fox body? 5.0?
Assume news count your mother. It will take a bit for her to digest the news but it sounds like all is well. As you say, no more hiding. Wonderful.
Like several others I was always small in stature when young. I did have a growth spurt at 18 but my frame stayed the same so I am far from having a bulky build. It's worked out great now. Ha!
Hugs, Judi
Thank you Judi.
Mom is actually taking it better than I thought. I talked a little more about it last night with her and everything went great. I'm just worried about when she see's Chelsea for the first time.
You ask about the Mustang, its a 87 Gt T-top. Of the 87 through 93 Fox body's the T-top was only available in 87 and optional in 88. The pic below is after it came out of the basement with a inch of dust on it. It looks rough but I had it ready to paint years ago.
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/ViXeQY6.jpg)
You are a talented lady, Chelsea! I have a hard time figuring out one end of a wrench from the other. Not a mechanical bone in my body (unlike my brothers!).
Chelsea, I'm so glad things are looking up for you. Work is busy, putting on a little weight, HRT is doing its magic......it's wonderful to see. The stronger emotions from the HRT are something to get used to, but not a bad thing. I found it to be really nice to be able to feel a complete range of emotions.
Don't stress your self too much about your Mum seeing Chelsea for the first time. It might be worth easing her into it by not presenting overly feminine the first time so she can get used to seeing presenting as a woman. I think it will be ok, just like when you came out to her as being trans.
Thanks for your update.
Jayne
Quote from: Chelsea on May 17, 2018, 09:45:41 PM
Had Another Great Day!
It started off with work and more work. :) After all that I went to mom's as always I check on her every day. Alivia cooked dinner and we all sit around and had a good time. About 2 hours later Alivia went back home and I spent the next two hours with mom. I did the impossible and told my mother I'm transgender. I didn't just up and say "I'm transgender" I had to explain to her everything. If I had not done it this way she would have just gotten angry because she had a different outlook on transgender people until today.
At the time all the boys my age hit puberty and had a growth spurt, I did not. All the guys around me had harry legs and muscles and I was still like a kid. My mother takes me then to a doctor in Knoxville that give me testosterone shots for a month or so to "kick start me" the doctor said. I never told mom but after about 2 or 3 months after those shots is when I started having my first gender thoughts. I sit down today and told her everything that has been going through my head from that moment. She just sit and listen to me the entire time without getting emotional or angry. (Like I thought)
After I was done she ask me a lot of questions and end the end her last comment was "I just want you happy and I love you." Just like my brother I did not think this was going to go well. I would not have told her if it wasn't for the stress I have been under this week over finances. I was to the point of "It can't get any worse". She said It's gonna take some getting used to so I'm not going to take Chelsea around her just yet. I am so lucky to have her still in my life.
So good news.............. I'm OUT!! I don't have to hide anymore!! :D
BIG Hugs
Chelsea
Wow, Chelsea, congratulations! I know it is stressful to come out to those we love, but you did it! And congrats too to your mom for taking it so well. It sounds like you did a good job of explaining it to her.
Now you can move forward without that weight on your shoulders.
Wow what an amazing thread! I just read this whole thing and had moments where my eyes had dust in them. And that's pre hrt for me so I'm normally have the emotion of a stone lol. Following your story is certainly inspiring to me. I hope my journey can be similar. I'm also so impressed by your gf so much. What a great lady she is! My wife has come a long way since coming out to her but she still hasn't gotten to that level yet. Make sure you let her know how great she is! Oh and I will join the club in saying how great you look already. Sure we all have our issues but you are a very attractive woman. Hope things continue to go well in your journey!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
The Mustang looks fine Chelsea. I'm sure your brother will do it right. I've painted a number of cars over the years and can set up a temporary paint booth in my shop complete with ventilation. I'm sure you'll be thrilled when you get it back on the road. You'll be one cool chick cruising in her pony!
Judi
Thank you girls for the nice comments. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Cheaney on May 19, 2018, 07:03:34 PM
Wow what an amazing thread! I just read this whole thing and had moments where my eyes had dust in them. And that's pre hrt for me so I'm normally have the emotion of a stone lol. Following your story is certainly inspiring to me. I hope my journey can be similar. I'm also so impressed by your gf so much. What a great lady she is! My wife has come a long way since coming out to her but she still hasn't gotten to that level yet. Make sure you let her know how great she is! Oh and I will join the club in saying how great you look already. Sure we all have our issues but you are a very attractive woman. Hope things continue to go well in your journey!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Thank you Cheaney and welcome to my silly thread. That is the first time anyone has told me that I inspired them. Nothing really inspiring about me but that made my day. :)
Alivia says "Thank you" for the comments. I told my GF about 4 years ago the I liked to dress like a girl thinking she would be ok with me doing so. My idea was to gradually lead into me being transgender slowly, but that didn't work because I could immediately see that it upset her. It took me until about 6 months ago to tell her. She said it all makes sense now. She thought I was gay and just didn't want to tell her all these years lol. After I told her it had nothing at all to do with sexual preference she has been completely supportive of me transitioning.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on May 20, 2018, 01:06:15 PM
Thank you Cheaney and welcome to my silly thread. That is the first time anyone has told me that I inspired them. Nothing really inspiring about me but that made my day. :)
Alivia says "Thank you" for the comments. I told my GF about 4 years ago the I liked to dress like a girl thinking she would be ok with me doing so. My idea was to gradually lead into me being transgender slowly, but that didn't work because I could immediately see that it upset her. It took me until about 6 months ago to tell her. She said it all makes sense now. She thought I was gay and just didn't want to tell her all these years lol. After I told her it had nothing at all to do with sexual preference she has been completely supportive of me transitioning.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Buenas Tardes Señorita Chelsea, 20 May 2018
Males wearing women's clothing is not a gay thing; my understanding (covering my A**) is that most gays do not want to be women so they don't dress in women's clothing. There are always exceptions (covering it again).
Best Always mis amiga, Love,
Christine
Quote from: Chelsea on May 20, 2018, 01:06:15 PM
Thank you Cheaney and welcome to my silly thread. That is the first time anyone has told me that I inspired them. Nothing really inspiring about me but that made my day. [emoji4]
Alivia says "Thank you" for the comments. I told my GF about 4 years ago the I liked to dress like a girl thinking she would be ok with me doing so. My idea was to gradually lead into me being transgender slowly, but that didn't work because I could immediately see that it upset her. It took me until about 6 months ago to tell her. She said it all makes sense now. She thought I was gay and just didn't want to tell her all these years lol. After I told her it had nothing at all to do with sexual preference she has been completely supportive of me transitioning.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Nah it's all love Chelsea. You may not think you're inspiring but you are and your story is. Our stories have a lot of similarities and I have some of those same thoughts and fears about transitioning and passing. On top of that, being in really conservative states where being transgender might as well be worse than being from Mars. But just knowing other people are going through it like I do is uplifting and inspiring.
I didn't give myself or my wife that luxury. Denial and repression might as well been my name. And my wife didn't even believe me when I came out to her. But she's awesome and has done a lot of work and we're trying to take our best shot at this thing.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote from: Cheaney on May 20, 2018, 02:02:59 PM
Nah it's all love Chelsea. You may not think you're inspiring but you are and your story is. Our stories have a lot of similarities and I've had some of those same thoughts and fears about transitioning and passing. On top of that, being in really conservative states where being transgender might as well be worse than being from Mars. But just knowing other people are going through it like I do is uplifting and inspiring.
I didn't give myself or my wife that luxury. Denial and repression might as well been my name. And my wife didn't even believe me when I came out to her. But she's awesome and has done a lot of work and we're trying to take our best shot at this thing.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Hi Cheaney, 20 May 2018
Yes, Chelsea is an inspiring, talented and gorgeous young lady... despite her denials. She, like you and numerous others here, have a wonderful gift, great women beside you that support you. Take very good care of them, they are your greatest assets.
Best Always,
Christine
Me and Alivia had to take a trip to Walmart today, she seen new bathing suits and wanted to stop and look. I was like "Sure!" :laugh: Its funny to me because as my old self, I hated looking at clothes and now I love it. All of my previous pictures are of me wearing my GF shirts. lol I love buying girly things when she is with me, but I'm not sure if I could buy the same things by myself.
Today I found a little shirt on sale and had to have it. This is really cool to me because as I was paying for it, I realized that I will never buy "guy" clothes again. Even though it was just a $9 shirt, it was the beginning of Chelsea's wardrobe and it made me happy. I now own one shirt. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/Of66K9k.jpg)
Quote from: Chelsea on May 21, 2018, 12:09:43 AM
Me and Alivia had to take a trip to Walmart today, she seen new bathing suits and wanted to stop and look. I was like "Sure!" :laugh: Its funny to me because as my old self, I hated looking at clothes and now I love it. All of my previous pictures are of me wearing my GF shirts. lol I love buying girly things when she is with me, but I'm not sure if I could buy the same things by myself.
Today I found a little shirt on sale and had to have it. This is really cool to me because as I was paying for it, I realized that I will never buy "guy" clothes again. Even though it was just a $9 shirt, it was the beginning of Chelsea's wardrobe and it made me happy. I now own one shirt. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/Of66K9k.jpg)
Hi Chelsea, 21 May 2018
Your new photo is stunning. I hope you will start believing everyone out here that think you are extremely beautiful.
I really like the new photo and shirt.
Time for me to crash; take care and stay safe.
Best Always, all my Love,
Christine the
"Old Nag"
Quote from: Chelsea on May 21, 2018, 12:09:43 AM
Me and Alivia had to take a trip to Walmart today, she seen new bathing suits and wanted to stop and look. I was like "Sure!" :laugh: Its funny to me because as my old self, I hated looking at clothes and now I love it. All of my previous pictures are of me wearing my GF shirts. lol I love buying girly things when she is with me, but I'm not sure if I could buy the same things by myself.
Today I found a little shirt on sale and had to have it. This is really cool to me because as I was paying for it, I realized that I will never buy "guy" clothes again. Even though it was just a $9 shirt, it was the beginning of Chelsea's wardrobe and it made me happy. I now own one shirt. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/Of66K9k.jpg)
Yay! Chelsea gets a new wardrobe! You are looking great girl! I started with a $5 too and $10 jeans off the clearance rack. Last week I splurged and bought myself a much nicer and more expensive pair of jeans and a pair of ankle boots with a bigger heel than I thought I could manage. I'm loving them. I also had the same hate for looking at clothes as my old self. Now I can't get enough. Who would have thought?
The secret to buying girly things on your own is not caring what other people might be thinking. Do it a couple of times and then the fear goes away. I found department stores a good place to start. They are big, and nobody seems to care who is buying what. I also found the younger staff members to be the most open minded, so being transgender is no big deal to them.
Glad you enjoyed your shopping trip.
Jayne
Quote from: Chelsea on May 21, 2018, 12:09:43 AM
Me and Alivia had to take a trip to Walmart today, she seen new bathing suits and wanted to stop and look. I was like "Sure!" :laugh: Its funny to me because as my old self, I hated looking at clothes and now I love it. All of my previous pictures are of me wearing my GF shirts. lol I love buying girly things when she is with me, but I'm not sure if I could buy the same things by myself.
Today I found a little shirt on sale and had to have it. This is really cool to me because as I was paying for it, I realized that I will never buy "guy" clothes again. Even though it was just a $9 shirt, it was the beginning of Chelsea's wardrobe and it made me happy. I now own one shirt. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/Of66K9k.jpg)
Good for you, girl! You look wonderful and happy! I found that once I crossed the line to purchase female clothing, I never turned back. Most of my male clothes went to Goodwill asap. I started with tee's and jeans, athletic shorts and tops. Found some very nice jeans in the better thrift stores.
It is interesting that our outer wear, helps us with our inner feelings. As much as people will say it should not, it really helps with transition. All of a sudden one is carrying oneself differently.
Look forward! The sun shines on your path! Hugs, Kelly
Quote from: Chelsea on May 21, 2018, 12:09:43 AM
Me and Alivia had to take a trip to Walmart today, she seen new bathing suits and wanted to stop and look. I was like "Sure!" :laugh: Its funny to me because as my old self, I hated looking at clothes and now I love it. All of my previous pictures are of me wearing my GF shirts. lol I love buying girly things when she is with me, but I'm not sure if I could buy the same things by myself.
Today I found a little shirt on sale and had to have it. This is really cool to me because as I was paying for it, I realized that I will never buy "guy" clothes again. Even though it was just a $9 shirt, it was the beginning of Chelsea's wardrobe and it made me happy. I now own one shirt. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/Of66K9k.jpg)
So please for and proud of the strides you have taken. You are a great looking young woman and should be hugely proud of everything in your life. You are going to love shopping unlike any other time in your life. Remember when you go shopping now you are gong as a woman and not a single person is going to think otherwise, after your first solo shopping spree you will wonder what the hesitation was about. When a SA walks up and says can I help you ma'am you are going to be blown away by the feeling. Tell them what you need or want and they will be all over you to help.
I can't get enough pretty outfits. I'm finally understanding why women have so many of everything and lots of shoes, really need shoes. Lol
My wife is so starting to spoil me with cloths and wigs and donations.
Live it, love it and embrace it and be happy
Thank you girls for the comments. Today was my Third Voice Therapy. I made it on time and was not nervous this time like before. Today was a little more challenging but she told me I was doing great. My goal pitch has changed from 190hz to 206hz so that is awesome. This is a little more work than I originally thought but I must do this.
Today she recorded me saying a few words and let me listen to them back. After I knew she was recording me I instantly started feeling nervous. Of course I messed up a few times and I actually almost cried at one point. I got really discouraged while doing these exercises but she kept telling me that I was doing great. Then I listened to myself as she played it back to me and the last two words sounded decent for three weeks. My voice is so tired, I feel like I have been sitting talking for 5 hours strait.
On the way back we stopped at the store and I picked up a cute pair of shorts. I really wish I had not done that, because I soon as I got home and tried them on, all of those hating the way I look feelings had come back. I cant stand being skinny and its getting to me. I think my dysphoria is worse than I thought. Its getting so hard to "Put Chelsea back in the closet" if that makes sense and my weight is really getting to me. It makes it hard to concentrate on anything really. The same discouraging feeling that I had in voice therapy today happened when I saw my skinny legs in those shorts. I'm ok just sharing my feelings with you ladies.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on May 21, 2018, 05:16:04 PM
Thank you girls for the comments. Today was my Third Voice Therapy. I made it on time and was not nervous this time like before. Today was a little more challenging but she told me I was doing great. My goal pitch has changed from 190hz to 206hz so that is awesome. This is a little more work than I originally thought but I must do this.
Today she recorded me saying a few words and let me listen to them back. After I knew she was recording me I instantly started feeling nervous. Of course I messed up a few times and I actually almost cried at one point. I got really discouraged while doing these exercises but she kept telling me that I was doing great. Then I listened to myself as she played it back to me and the last two words sounded decent for three weeks. My voice is so tired, I feel like I have been sitting talking for 5 hours strait.
On the way back we stopped at the store and I picked up a cute pair of shorts. I really wish I had not done that, because I soon as I got home and tried them on, all of those hating the way I look feelings had come back. I cant stand being skinny and its getting to me. I think my dysphoria is worse than I than I thought. Its getting so hard to "Put Chelsea back in the closet" if that makes sense and my weight is really getting to me. It makes it hard to concentrate on anything really. The same discouraging feeling that I had in voice therapy today happened when I saw my skinny legs in those shorts. I'm ok just sharing my feelings with you ladies.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hey Chelsea,
Congratulations on the progress with your voice therapy. It sounds like you are doing really well.
You went to the store on your own and bought yourself some girl clothes? That's fantastic! Congratulations on taking that step. Next time you will try them on in the store before buying them to see if you like them.
I know exactly what you mean about it being hard to put Chelsea back in the closet. I am having the same problem putting Jayne into the closet. It feels like I am killing a small part of me each time I go back to being John. You are making great progress so far. Stay strong while making the transition to becoming Chelsea full time. That moment is getting closer each day.
I'll pass on a small tip that was given to me. "Dress for the body you have, not the body you want". We all have different body shapes and there are things about our body we don't like. This applies to everyone, not only trans women. Certain items of clothing may highlight something you don't like about yourself. Choose clothes that highlight the parts you do like. You will feel better about yourself. I recently went into a store and saw this great body hugging dress that I thought I would like. It looked amazing on the hanger and would look amazing on someone with a perfect hourglass body figure. I tried it on and it looked awful on me. I didn't have the right body shape for that dress. I found something else that fit me better and I feel good about myself wearing what I bought. Had I bought that dress, I would have felt very discouraged about how I look. I made that mistake a couple of years ago when I bought a cute dress without trying it on and when I got home I realised that I looked terrible in it. My dysphoria became worse and eventually I ended up disposing of the dress with extreme prejudice (I set it on fire in the back yard!!)
Your weight is currently a troubling issue for you. Look at cis women with similar body shapes to you that dress nicely (to your taste) for some ideas. When you figure out a way to get your body weight to where you want it, then you can modify your wardrobe to suit. It's all about finding the best clothes and style to wear that makes YOU feel good about yourself. YOU need to be happy looking in a mirror.
I've probably said too much here. You did say you are ok just sharing your feelings.
Again, really great news with your voice therapy progress.
Take care
Hug,
Jayne
Chelsea we are here when you need to share. Sorry your still putting Chelsea in the closet still. When you get to leave her out all the time and him in it then you are going to feel so much better.
Nice to hear voice therapy is starting to feel more comfortable. I need to call them one day and see what the requirements are from my doctor.
Jayne have great advice "Dress for the body you have, not the body you want". As I've mentioned I am thin, OK skinny, but I love my body moreso now that my mind aligns with it. There seem to be more clothing choices and they do fit well. I have two nieces that are the same as me and they are beautiful. I know you are too.
Judi
Quote from: JudiBlueEyes on May 21, 2018, 08:05:12 PM
Jayne have great advice "Dress for the body you have, not the body you want". As I've mentioned I am thin, OK skinny, but I love my body moreso now that my mind aligns with it. There seem to be more clothing choices and they do fit well. I have two nieces that are the same as me and they are beautiful. I know you are too.
Judi
Thank you for the complement. I think I might be a little worse. I cant keep this skinny body. I would rather wait then to dress and not be happy with it. I'm feeling pretty low right now. I'm thinking it must be the medicine or the dysphoria is worse.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on May 21, 2018, 08:27:02 PM
Thank you for the complement. I think I might be a little worse. I cant keep this skinny body. I would rather wait then to dress and not be happy with it. I'm feeling pretty low right now. I'm thinking it must be the medicine or the dysphoria is worse.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea, you are beautiful, inside and out. All the photos you have posted so far are beautiful. We are always our own worst critics. Hang in there, this low feeling will pass.
Hug,
Jayne
Last night at moms I was sitting down watching TV with her and out of nowhere she said "I think you are to obsessed with this transgender stuff". Now this is the reaction I was expecting to get when I told her about it. Now that she has had a few days to think about it, it shows. I tried to explain that it has nothing to do with obsession at all. Its like I'm talking to a wall. A big concrete one.
I could feel my blood pressure rising so it was time for me to go. As soon as I get home I messaged my sis and told her about mom. She said hang on and I will call her. About a hour goes by and sis messages me back and said mom didn't want to talk much but she will talk to her more today. Sis told me that mom is in denial and even a little angry. (I think I predicted this.) but she also said give her time. I have been wanting this for years and its still all new to them.
Today mom will hardly speak one word to me and said that she is really depressed. I kind of feel like its my fault but I must do this and cant wait anymore. Its really my life. I told sis that Chelsea is coming and I cant slow her down. Within 6 months people are going to start noticing things. Sis told mom last night that they can be each others support in this and that was nice.
So on top of finances, my weight, I have my mother to worry about, this keeps getting better and better.
I don't mind a gravel road but this one seems to have some pretty big rocks in it. I do know that eventually everything will workout, but going through it is rough and even depressing at times.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on May 23, 2018, 09:24:13 AM
Last night at moms I was sitting down watching TV with her and out of nowhere she said "I think you are to obsessed with this transgender stuff". Now this is the reaction I was expecting to get when I told her about it. Now that she has had a few days to think about it, it shows. I tried to explain that it has nothing to do with obsession at all. Its like I'm talking to a wall. A big concrete one.
I could feel my blood pressure rising so it was time for me to go. As soon as I get home I messaged my sis and told her about mom. She said hang on and I will call her. About a hour goes by and sis messages me back and said mom didn't want to talk much but she will talk to her more today. Sis told me that mom is in denial and even a little angry. (I think I predicted this.) but she also said give her time. I have been wanting this for years and its still all new to them.
Today mom will hardly speak one word to me and said that she is really depressed. I kind of feel like its my fault but I must do this and cant wait anymore. Its really my life. I told sis that Chelsea is coming and I cant slow her down. Within 6 months people are going to start noticing things. Sis told mom last night that they can be each others support in this and that was nice.
So on top of finances, my weight, I have my mother to worry about, this keeps getting better and better.
I don't mind a gravel road but this one seems to have some pretty big rocks in it. I do know that eventually everything will workout, but going through it is rough and even depressing at times.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Dear Chelsea: Thanks for telling us about your latest issues so that we can better understand what you are going through with your transition journey therefore helping us to give you the support and hugs that we want to give to you.
Be very, very glad that you have a sister that is so supportive and helpful to you with dealing with your mother.
I am happy to read that you are still positive about knowing that everything will work out, but you are correct, while you are in the middle of all of this it can be rough and depressing for sure. All of us that have been involved this transition experience fully understand about how this journey has it's failures, frustrations, disappointments ....
and, the good news, it's successes !!!
Continue to stay on top of your business and financial issues.... and I was pleased to see your earlier updates about some good news regarding those items.
Please keep holding your head high, stay positive.... and know for sure that your experiences are not a mystery to most of us reading your thread.
Sending you my hugs and another hug or two....Danielle
Understand that the people close to us deal with our changes differently than we do. Just as with the death of a friend or family they need to cope with the loss of the "you" they know as they come to grips with the new "you". There are the normal steps of grieving they go through. Reassure your mom you are still the same at your core. Like me, I'm sure you won't give you liking cars and other hobbies you have. But you will expand your activities now that you are free to do so.
Finances, weight, Mom; what is it they say about troubles coming in three's? As you say people will start noticing changes soon and it is getting better and better. Believe it or not, you're doing fine. Keep plugging ahead and maintain your focus. Cheers!
Judi
You might explain that you have felt the same for years so you are no different. It's just that she is hearing about years of your thoughts in a relatively short period of time so it's going to take time to adjust to the new truth.
Chelsea,
There is difference in perspective that is in play. While those who are important to us tend to think of our transition as a loss, a disappointment, even, a death, of sorts, we look on it as more of an awakening, even, a birth. You need to recognize that your mother is in a mourning. Hard to sympathize with when you are in a celebratory mood.
Allow mom to mourn. But try, through your sis if necessary, to encourage mom to see this in the same positive light you do.
Hang in there,
Stevi
Thank you ladies!
Mom finally come around today and ask me if I would cut the grass. After that me and her were fine the rest of the day. That doesn't mean that she will be ok with it tomorrow, but as least for now we are talking again. I didn't bring up the subject transgender at all. I figure when she is ready she will talk to me about it. She told me that she loved me and give me a couple of hugs today (she don't hug me much) so that's good. My sis could have talked to her today while I was working but I'm not sure, so for now me and mom are ok I guess..... :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hi Chelsea
I am just starting out on my own journey having finally given in to the forces of nature.
Just been reading your adventures and they are a great read. It's great to see that you are dealing with your transition in such a positive and fun way and some of your adventures and misadventures resonate with me....even though I have not got to the stage of starting HRT or coming out to anyone yet.
I only hope that I can deal with things as positively and have as much fun as you have.
BTW you're new look is amazing
Megan x
I'm glad you had even those moments with your mom. I had the same thoughts about telling my family that you did. Unfortunately my fears turned out to be true. It's been a couple of months now and nobody has said a word to me about trans at all. Like I never even told them and I'm even more of a family outcast than I already was. So cherish even those small moments of acceptance when they happen.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote from: CallmeMegan on May 24, 2018, 03:06:33 AM
Hi Chelsea
I am just starting out on my own journey having finally given in to the forces of nature.
Just been reading your adventures and they are a great read. It's great to see that you are dealing with your transition in such a positive and fun way and some of your adventures and misadventures resonate with me....even though I have not got to the stage of starting HRT or coming out to anyone yet.
I only hope that I can deal with things as positively and have as much fun as you have.
BTW you're new look is amazing
Megan x
Thank you Megan and welcome to my little mess of a thread. I try to stay positive but its not always easy. For me this is the best thing I have ever done in my life and I will never look back. :) Thank you so much for the complement. The new color is really close to my natural hair color and I like it better. I wish you the best on your journey.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Cheaney on May 24, 2018, 07:17:18 AM
I'm glad you had even those moments with your mom. I had the same thoughts about telling my family that you did. Unfortunately my fears turned out to be true. It's been a couple of months now and nobody has said a word to me about trans at all. Like I never even told them and I'm even more of a family outcast than I already was. So cherish even those small moments of acceptance when they happen.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Thank you Cheaney.
I really wasn't ready to tell mom. I know I have been going down the list kind of fast but, after I had started HRT it was like Chelsea has started a fire inside of me wanting out. Its getting harder to "put her away". I''m still not out of the woods with mom just yet. I am giving her all the time she needs to get used to it. I talked to her early this morning and she was in a good mood. Maybe just like my mom, your family might just need a little more time. Like Dena and Stevi said its still all new to them and will take time. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Well I got a really hard kick in the face today. Mom just pretty much attacked me. It caught me off guard and I didn't say anything. It just made me cry and I left. She told me that she give birth to a boy not a girl. She started quoting the bible. She thinks that I just got on the net and found a doctor to make me a girl. Yes she actually said that. She said she didn't want to look at me today. I have never heard my mom talk to me this way. She said if those doctors are so smart then tell me what caused you to be transgender? as I was leaving. I just told her the same thing that caused cancer in her and my brother, nobody knows.
Sis says she cant make her understand and that she don't think that mom will ever understand. Jason said my brother don't really understand it either. He thinks its more of a fetish, but hes ok with me transitioning. The thought of my mother passing with me being a disappointment is unbearable. She's 82 and will not live forever. Here I am again nervous and sick, throwing up and trying to gain weight. Why can't I just live the life I need?
When I first started this I was like " Ahh heck this isn't to bad" Well today its all real and not good.
I don't really know what to do. I'm just sitting here at a loss.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on May 25, 2018, 01:33:38 PM
Well I got a really hard kick in the face today. Mom just pretty much attacked me. It caught me off guard and I didn't say anything. It just made me cry and I left. She told me that she give birth to a boy not a girl. She started quoting the bible. She thinks that I just got on the net and found a doctor to make me a girl. Yes she actually said that. She said she didn't want to look at me today. I have never heard my mom talk to me this way. She said if those doctors are so smart then tell me what caused you to be transgender? as I was leaving. I just told her the same thing that caused cancer in her and my brother, nobody knows.
Sis says she cant make her understand and that she don't think that mom will ever understand. Jason said my brother don't really understand it either. He thinks its more of a fetish, but hes ok with me transitioning. The thought of my mother passing with me being a disappointment is unbearable. She's 82 and will not live forever. Here I am again nervous and sick, throwing up and trying to gain weight. Why can I just live the life I need?
When I first started this I was like " Ahh heck this isn't to bad" Well today its all real and not good.
I don't really know what to do. I'm just sitting here at a loss.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Dear Chelsea... I am so upset to hear this.... heya girl, you have been making decisions of how to live your life and as long as you are respectful those that matter in your life (your parents and family especially) it is then up to them how they deal with it.
I think that you have heard me say this before:
"If life doesn't deal you enough problems, you can always count on your own family"I think that you are aware that your transition is many times more difficult for your family and old long term friends that it may be for you.... you have already dealt with your decision to change, they are still trying to cope with the fact that their son is now transitioning into a woman.... be as respectful as you are able and try not to lose your temper and do earnestly try to overcome any depression and angry feelings that you may experience.
You have your future goals to continue striving for.... be strong, be determined and be positive.... all of that is easier to say than done, but please give those things your best effort.
Thank you for keeping us all updated with your news, both the good and the bad.
Hugs, and more hugs,
Danielle
I was going to start writing a response to your post when I read Danielles post. It seems we are on the same wave length. You have made the courageous step to transition and are working hard to be successful. As Danielle has said, family members often have a greater difficulty adjusting to the changes we go through. They often need time to gain an understanding of who we are and what is going on. What some have difficulty with is that we don't make ourselves this way. Whether we actually make the life changes to transition or not, we are who we are.
I also agree that trying to keep a positive view of your development is important. What really helps family members accept your transition is seeing how much happier you are. Unfortunately, we can not change people. Change has to come from them. All we can do is work on our own mental/emotional health and physical health.
The girl I have seen though your thread is strong and determined. You have overcome other hurdles and you can this one!
Hugs,
Kelly
Chelsea,
That turn of events with your mom is a little like what happened with my daughter. I won't get into the details here but it is the crisis that initiated my thread "Stevi's Saga" I just mention it because, in my case, things have improved immensely. There is still a ways to go but I am sure my daughter and I will get through this thing. I hope things with your mother come around in the near future for you, as well.
(((Hugs))) and hope,
Stevi
P.S. If that avatar is you, I am pea-green jealous. Young, pretty face. Wow!
I too am sorry to read this. She is lashing out because she is not in control of the situation. Hang in there, you're doing fine.
BTW: whether it's black or brown, you absolutely rock a head full of curls. I am jealous!
Judi
Chelsea,
Family not being able to accept us as we need to be is one of the hardest things to deal with. At least for me it has been for me. I am glad I found Michelle or did she find me. The loss of my daughter and grand kids from my life nearly killed me. Michelle gave me a new reason to live. So Hun I know what that hurt feels like and I know the pain it can cause. Please do not let it get to you as bad as it did to me. Please reach out to someone or call me to talk. I have no problem letting you have my number. Just let me know and you'll get it.
Hugs,
Laurie
I am so sorry to read this Chelsea.
I know how painful it is when your Mum disapproves and insults you - I loved my Mum but she never accepted the way I was/am but I was able to forgive her as she was born in the 1920s. She died in 2015.
I hope your Mum comes round in due time when she will see how much happier you are in the future.
I appreciate your pain now. You are in my prayers.
Hugs
Pamela
Chelsea I'm so sad to hear about the responce from your mom. Moms are supposed to love unconditionally and this is so hard. Please remember your happiness has to come first and you can't live in misery to make one person happy. Please be strong and we are all here for you.
PM anytime if you need an ear
💕💗love you girl💗💕
Thank you ladies for the responses. I still am amazed at the amount of support that comes from this forum. I really appreciate each and every one of you. :)
My sister told me that we are still getting together tomorrow, like we always do on Memorial day weekend. She knows what mom said to me and said don't worry about it. She said I already talked to mom but, didn't tell me anything else. Normally me and Alivia cooks and we have a few family members over. All of the people that will be there already know about me transitioning but, the way mom was angry with me yesterday its gonna be awkward. Am I supposed to act like nothing happened?
I hope that we can make up and put this behind us. Sis told me that she thinks that mom will be accept me in time. I hope she is right. Wish me luck. I'm still gonna be my same happy go lucky self tomorrow. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
All the Best tomorrow! Remember to stay calm and show everyone that you are happy! Best thing you can do is be yourself. Sending positive thoughts!
Hugs,
Kelly
Chelsea, I am sorry to hear your Mum is having trouble processing you being transgender. It is a lot for her to absorb. She has had only a tiny amount of time to understand what is happening to you, whereas you have had your whole life dealing with these feelings. You may find that your mother might go through various stages of accepting you to not accepting you and everything in between before her true feelings are shown. What you are seeing now is her emotions coming to the surface as she sees her son being replaced by an unknown woman. It will take more time. Try to be patient with her and not take any of her negative reactions at this early stage too personally. Some of her reactions may be quite hurtful too.......it doesn't mean those are her true feelings. Give her the time and space she needs.
I hope your family get together goes well tomorrow.
(((Hugs)))
Jayne
I made it through today and actually had a good time. Me and My sister went to mom's and she also had her two daughters and her son. In order of age they are Robyn, Kelly and Jeffery. Robyn only found out about me being trans last night and talked to me today over an hour about my transition. She is very excited about it and wanted to watch me do my makeup sometime lol.
I did not get a chance to tell Kelly as she had to leave ,but I know she will be fine. My machine shop is actually located on my mothers property and I had the shop doors open with some music going. Everyone was outside for a long time and I ask sis what Jeffery will think about me being trans. She said "He will be just fine." At that moment he walks up. I said "hey Jeff, walk over to that machine and tell me who that picture is. " I have a pic of Chelsea hanging on my machine as a "goal or motivation piece" He said "That's awesome." didn't ask questions or anything so that was easy. :laugh: I already know all of her kids are very open minded and wasn't worried about telling them.
Mom was kind of hateful when I first got there but, after we all eat and had a few laughs she got back to her old self.
Nobody brought up the transgender subject around mom today and I think its best. I am kind of scared to say to much of anything to mom right now. I can tell something is on her mind but I think she needs her time. I told her that I loved her today and she replied back that she loves me too no matter what. Sis told me before she left that she don't think mom will ever completely understand but, thinks she will accept me transitioning eventually.
Good news is that I have complete support from the entire family except for mom and I hope she comes around.
If mom excepted me I might just be brave enough to get Chelsea out for good a lot sooner than I planed. Its getting really hard to be my old self now and think I have waited long enough. I hope everyone had a good weekend and thanks for reading my chit chat. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
I'm glad to hear it went well today. Your nieces and nephew sound like they are fine and it's a non-issue for them, as it should be. Continue to give your mother time and space. She'll come around to where she is comfortable once she realizes you don't have to understand in order to be understanding.
Judi
So glad to hear how well it went and your mom settling down. The family support must be great. You really do sound like you are ready to go full time so very soon. Once you step over that line you will be so amazed and wonder why it took so long, and I mean that lovingly and not a judgement.
You are a guide to other to follow and you need to be proud of that.
aw, I'm happy to see that things have turned around a little! I'm glad you had fun and I'm hoping that things only get better for you!
Chelsea, I'm so glad your family get together went well. Your nieces and nephew clearly don't have any issue with you being trans. Your mother is also coming to terms with it. She may never be able to fully understand the reasons why you are transgender or why you need to become Chelsea, but she does accept you and told you that she loves you no matter what. That is wonderful news!
I like the way you came out to your nephew and his reaction to the photo. How old is he?
Hug,
Jayne
Hi Chelsea,
I am glad everyone in th family accepts you. I also hope that Mom will come around but it obviously is bothering her. Just her saying she loves you and always will is a start Hun. Like you said she will needs some time to work it out if she is going to. All you can do is to be there for her while she does.
Hugs,
Lautie
Thank you every one for reading my mess. [emoji175]
Quote from: Jayne01 on May 27, 2018, 09:15:12 PM
I like the way you came out to your nephew and his reaction to the photo. How old is he?
Jeffery is 28 I think. Its funny that you mentioned him. My sister has been worried about him for years and thinks me coming out to him might help what ever is troubling him. He has something social going on that he wont talk about. Me and him got close a few years back. He was needing money and I paid him to help around the house and the shop. Me and him worked very good together. In all of the years I don't ever remember him having a girl or boy friend and not really sure why. I know that really don't mean anything but there is other things. Robyn and Kelly thinks hes got something gender related going on and so does a lot of the family. Me and sis was hoping that when I came out to him yesterday that it might get him to talk about it.
I know that you only ask his age but the whole family is worried about him. I thought it might be good to her what you ladies think. If he is trans then me and him would be great support for each other. I guess like me when he is ready he will talk. I just hope he don't wait like I did, if it is trans related.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on May 28, 2018, 09:22:09 AM
Thank you every one for reading my mess. [emoji175]
Jeffery is 28 I think. Its funny that you mentioned him. My sister has been worried about him for years and thinks me coming out to him might help what ever is troubling him. He has something social going on that he wont talk about. Me and him got close a few years back. He was needing money and I paid him to help around the house and the shop. Me and him worked very good together. In all of the years I don't ever remember him having a girl or boy friend and not really sure why. I know that really don't mean anything but there is other things. Robyn and Kelly thinks hes got something gender related going on and so does a lot of the family. Me and sis was hoping that when I came out to him yesterday that it might get him to talk about it.
I know that you only ask his age but the whole family is worried about him. I thought it might be good to her what you ladies think. If he is trans then me and him would be great support for each other. I guess like me when he is ready he will talk. I just hope he don't wait like I did, if it is trans related.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea, I'm sorry to hear that Jeffery is having some kind of problems of his own. If it is gender related, your coming out to him will hopefully help him open up, especially since you both are already close. As you yourself know, the only person that would know if he is trans or not is Jeffery. Once he fully processes that you are trans, he may come to you. Try to be alert to any kind of signs that he is trying to tell you something. You know yourself that the first time you come out to someone is the hardest and is very scary. He may not be direct with his approach. It might not be trans related at all, but you coming out as trans could be the trigger he needs to help him open up.
It may help him open up if you openly talk about yourself and your journey so far. Do this when the two of you are alone so he feels at ease with someone he is already close to.
You have my best wishes
Hugs,
Jayne
snipped:
Quote from: Chelsea on May 28, 2018, 09:22:09 AM
Thank you every one for reading my mess. [emoji175]
- - - - - - -
- - - - - --
Hugs,
Chelsea
Heya
Chelsea: No worries, we ALL have "messes" to write about.... and writing about them really help us to work out these issues in our mind... and of course, hearing the support and suggestions from others after they read what we have to say really helps also.
I always look forward following you transition journey and reading about your life challenges and successes.
Keep writing !!! ... and thank you for keeping us updated on your thread.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Hi Chelsea sorry to hear you mom is still not accepting hopefully she warms up soon
Its exciting to hear the rest of your family has given you their full support
Hope all is well
Xxx
Chloe
I finally finished my brothers Mustang a few days ago. I have been so busy. I have got myself in a financial bind and refuse to give up. My brother is so good to me. He has cancer treatments everyday for 3 weeks and then they give him a week or so break. He has been feeling better after a few days without treatment and has joined me in my machine shop and is helping me get my business going again. He give me a long pep talk last night.
I was lucky to have scored two big jobs yesterday and a load of steel is coming in today. Finally I have metal to cut and something to sell in almost three weeks. I don't know how much time I will get to post in the next few days but I will try. Also I will post my three month update in just a coupe more days.
One more thing is I think mom might be coming around. Yesterday she came out to the shop and hang out with me for a few minuets. She never does that. We had a pleasant talk about nothing really but, it was nice that we got along. She kept looking at me like she was studying me. After she left I started thinking, maybe she came to the shop to see if I was doing drugs or something. I know that sounds silly and No I do not do any drugs. Mom has said silly things like that in the past and she might just be looking for something to blame me being transgender on. Or it might just be me over thinking all of this. I just wish she would come around. This wait is killing me. Huuuuu..... lol
Love all you ladies. [emoji171]
Cheslea
Quote from: Chelsea on June 01, 2018, 08:31:05 AM
I finally finished my brothers Mustang a few days ago. I have been so busy. I have got myself in a financial bind and refuse to give up. My brother is so good to me. He has cancer treatments everyday for 3 weeks and then they give him a week or so break. He has been feeling better after a few days without treatment and has joined me in my machine shop and is helping me get my business going again. He give me a long pep talk last night.
I was lucky to have scored to big jobs yesterday and a load of steel is coming in today. Finally I have metal to cut and something to sell in almost three weeks. I don't know how much time I will get to post in the next few days but I will try. Also I will post my three month update in just a coupe more days.
One more thing is I think mom might be coming around. Yesterday she came out to the shop and hang out with me for a few minuets. She never does that. We had a pleasant talk about nothing really but, it was nice that we got along. She kept looking at me like she was studying me. After she left I started thinking, maybe she came to the shop to see if I was doing drugs or something. I know that sounds silly and No I do not do any drugs. Mom has said silly things like that in the past and she might just be looking for something to blame me being transgender on. Or it might just be me over thinking all of this. I just wish she would come around. This wait is killing me. Huuuuu..... lol
Love all you ladies. [emoji171]
Cheslea
Dear Chelsea, 01 Jun 2018
She is your MOM; she is working on accepting you. She will always be your Mother and will not abandon you. Take it from the
Old Nag.I've only been wrong once; it was the time I thought I was wrong and it turned out I was right.Love always,
Christine
Quote from: Chelsea on June 01, 2018, 08:31:05 AM
I finally finished my brothers Mustang a few days ago. I have been so busy. I have got myself in a financial bind and refuse to give up. My brother is so good to me. He has cancer treatments everyday for 3 weeks and then they give him a week or so break. He has been feeling better after a few days without treatment and has joined me in my machine shop and is helping me get my business going again. He give me a long pep talk last night.
I was lucky to have scored to big jobs yesterday and a load of steel is coming in today. Finally I have metal to cut and something to sell in almost three weeks. I don't know how much time I will get to post in the next few days but I will try. Also I will post my three month update in just a coupe more days.
One more thing is I think mom might be coming around. Yesterday she came out to the shop and hang out with me for a few minuets. She never does that. We had a pleasant talk about nothing really but, it was nice that we got along. She kept looking at me like she was studying me. After she left I started thinking, maybe she came to the shop to see if I was doing drugs or something. I know that sounds silly and No I do not do any drugs. Mom has said silly things like that in the past and she might just be looking for something to blame me being transgender on. Or it might just be me over thinking all of this. I just wish she would come around. This wait is killing me. Huuuuu..... lol
Love all you ladies. [emoji171]
Cheslea
Chelsea:Well,
except of course about your brother's bout with Cancer and his treatments.... this is a most welcome good news report. It is very nice of him to help you with your now busy time in your business. He is to be commended to giving you that pep talk and stepping in to give you a hand. Continue to get the word out and try hard to keep more orders coming in.
That was more good news about your Mom possibly starting to accept the new you.... yeah, I think that she might have been studying you... it sounds like a natural thing that she might do so she could see for herself how you are handling your transition .... obviously you should try to be pleasant, agreeable and overwhelm her with positive impressions.
OK now, you have teased us with your work on your brother's Mustang .... now you have finished it...
...you know the rule here on the Forums..
."Pictures or it didn't happen"And YES, we are all waiting for your
THREE MONTH update.... looking forward to reading that when you post it.
Thank you for your wonderful Update on your thread.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
I understand you're busy now so thanks for the update. You brother sounds like a great guy to have on your side. Cherish him. It also sounds like your mom has been doing some thinking and she is coming to understand you. I hope for the best for you both.
About the Mustang, I figure it's done but not really as it probably needs to have trim put back on and all. We do want to see the finished product!
I'm glad to hear work is coming into your shop. I knew it would. Go Girl!!!
Judi
Wow Chelsea I've only had a short break and it's taken me 2 hours reading to catch up.
It sounds like you have an awesome support network around you, and from your pictures you look amazing and must be getting male fail a lot by now.
Your business will pick up, think positive always.
So glad your journey is going so well.
Can't wait for more updates
Sophie
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
Hey Chelsea,
So glad you are looking forward and putting rubber to the road. I am so proud of you and your determination! Go get 'em!
Sending my love and good will at ya!
Julie
Thank you ladies and I will respond to your comments later tonight. Just real quick for Danielle and Judi.
Yes I have tons of pictures and it did happen. I have to sore muscles to prove it. lol You ask about the Mustang and keep in mind that this car sit in the woods of Tennessee for 18 years. It was very rough so I included two pictures from last year doing body work.
It has a little different paint job than most cars on the road today. It has 3 coats of red and six coats of clear. The clear was laid down in 3 coats, allowed to dry over night. Then the entire car was sanded once again with 1000 grit then, completely taped back up and then the last three coats are applied. Then after that it is sanded one last time with 2000 grit, buffed and polished all over. I hope I explained that right but, its a very long process and I'm not a speed setter by no means.
Forgive the finish pictures as I just snapped them a few minuets ago with my cell phone. I tried to get some showing the level of shinny this thing has. Only thing left is installing all the trim, lights, Interior, wheels and she will be ready to race. I will post later work is calling. Girl Power!
Hugs,
Chelsea
One year ago doing rough work.
(https://i.imgur.com/iu4VMzX.jpg)
Same day
(https://i.imgur.com/16UmGDK.jpg)
Today
(https://i.imgur.com/S0K9tZb.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/Momnj8O.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/t7Z46no.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/fglPmzP.jpg)
Just beautiful, Chelsea! To take it from where it was to now is just magic!
Quote from: islandgirl on June 01, 2018, 11:46:21 AM
Just beautiful, Chelsea! To take it from where it was to now is just magic!
Hi Islandgirl, 01 Jun 2018
Welcome to June.
It's magic because Chelsea is a Princess with magical powers, skills and knowledge. Way to go Chelsea.
Best Always, Love
Christine
So true! To have those skills, or, more likely in my case, to know someone who does!
Hi Girlfriend,
That paint job looks great. Such a beautiful car for a beautiful lady. Perhaps you can moonlight as a painter in an auto body shop. It could be something to tide you over these rough= times. Only a thought Hun, only a thought.
Hugs,
Laurie
Hey there Chelsea, nice paintwork! You have done amazing work to give this car new life. Kind of poetic really......you are giving this car a new life as you are giving yourself a new life! Yeah I know...barf, right? [emoji23]
I am thrilled to hear your business is picking up again and you have lots of work. Your brother is a great guy to support you the way he is while also struggling with his own battles.
It's not surprising your mother was studying you. She is probably looking at you seeing her son, but at the same time seeing her new daughter. In her mind, the two images are probably blending into one single image as she comes to realise that you are still the same person. My mum stares at me a lot and I haven't come out to her yet. She sees my longer (bigger!) hair and probably subtle changes to my face, wondering what has changed with me. It's a good sign your mother is coming to visit you and studying how you look.
Looking forward to your 3 month update.
Hugs,
Jayne
Wow that looks flawless! I love the gloss. Do you use a booth or did you shoot it in the garage?
Judi
Wow, that is super shiny, Chelsea! Very nice! You definitely have a talent there.
Wow. Very nice job on the stang. What a labour of love on your part.
You are beautiful and very talented.
Wow that paint job looks amazing lovely colour too!!!
Your super amazing Chelsea I wish I could be like you
Xxx
Chloe
Quote from: Chelsea on June 01, 2018, 10:26:35 AM
Today
(https://i.imgur.com/S0K9tZb.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/Momnj8O.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/t7Z46no.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/fglPmzP.jpg)
Hi Chelsea, 01 June 2198
The hood on the Stang looks like an aftermarket glass unit. Is this correct?
Is the stang an 87? What engine is going in it?
Nice work young lady.
Best Always, All my Love,
Christine
Thank you everyone. You people are like family to me. [emoji171]
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: maybesoph on June 01, 2018, 10:03:26 AM
Wow Chelsea I've only had a short break and it's taken me 2 hours reading to catch up.
It sounds like you have an awesome support network around you, and from your pictures you look amazing and must be getting male fail a lot by now.
Your business will pick up, think positive always.
So glad your journey is going so well.
Can't wait for more updates
Sophie
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
Thank you Sophie.
I don't get mail fail because I still don't go out into public as Chelsea yet. I might look passable in the pictures but trust me I'm not. One day soon I hope.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: JudiBlueEyes on June 01, 2018, 04:56:30 PM
Wow that looks flawless! I love the gloss. Do you use a booth or did you shoot it in the garage?
Judi
I painted it right where its sitting in the pictures. I really don't worry too much about dust because I water sand everything I do. :)
Quote from: christinej78 on June 01, 2018, 11:55:49 PM
Hi Chelsea, 01 June 2198
The hood on the Stang looks like an aftermarket glass unit. Is this correct?
Is the stang an 87? What engine is going in it?
Nice work young lady.
Best Always, All my Love,
Christine
This one is Jason's old car and is a 89. Mine is a 87
The hood is a "Double hump cowl hood from Cervinis customs"
The engine is already installed and is a 2015 modified coyote engine from a new Mustang.
Hugs
Chelsea
Month 3 Update
Its 2 more days but I'm gonna go ahead and post, mainly because I'm really busy trying to get myself out of this financial mess I'm in. Plus what's gonna really happen in 2 days lol.
I just looked back through my post and found that my month 2 update is on page 7 and now here we are on page 19 so, I want to apologize for talking too much. I guess I have more going on in my life than I thought.
First thing is even though I have been going through a money battle I am really happy most of the time. But its more than before as my male self. Its like I want to do things now like dance. Really? I never do this. Also I'm all about singing to the steering wheel while driving.
Next is my emotions. I cry at the drop of a dime. Most of the time its happy tears. Last night the mirror got me down and i cried about that lol. Its not really that bad and I'm not worried about it. I told my hair stylist that has cut my hair sense I was 14 that I was transgender yesterday, while crying. She was fine with it and give me a big hug and told me she loved me and she does not judge anyone.
Body changes
I finally have a little something different to see on the measuring tape. I have lost a full inch in my waist and have gained a full inch in my chest. I double checked this with my girlfriends help. My hips measure the same as before but they definitely look different. Also my thighs are starting to get that little "Jiggle" in my step.
My waist is now 27 inches from last months 28
My chest is now 35 inches from last months 34
My hips are still holding at 36 inches for the moment but look and feel better.
I have gained 4 pounds back of the 14 total I lost. I'm up to 131 pounds. I would like to be 155 properly per portioned of course. That is so difficult. Two weeks to gain 4 pounds. Huuuu....
I can honestly say I no longer smell like a man. The way I smell now is great compared to before.
Last thing is my nails are very healthy and look better than they ever have. Not really sure if that's the HRT or just me taking better care of them now.
I hope I didn't forget anything.
Hugs to all you ladies. [emoji170]
Chelsea
All sounds great, Chelsea! Just thought of something, and you may already do this and it is taking supplements. My endo had me start with mega vit D, 5000 ui, and calcium, over 2000 ui a day.
Sometimes the little things, like nails, can have a big impact on us. Having fun with hair and nails can be very uplifting. All the Best! Stay positive!
Hugs, Kelly
Chelsea
It is so uplifting to read your 3 month update.
I am so happy things are progressing both physically and mentally. You have come so far already!
I know that you happy by your singing and wishing to dance.
I hope you enjoy the weekend and the next month
Hugs
Pamela
Hi Chelsea,
Hey girlfriend, come visit me and eat like I do. You will gain weight. Ask Michelle, she claims to have gained 6lbs in a week here. # months and it sounds like them female hormones are kicking in well for you. Hang in there the financial situation will get better. With your painting skill you could moonlight and do a better job than MAACO.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on June 02, 2018, 01:07:06 PM
Hi Chelsea,
Hey girlfriend, come visit me and eat like I do. You will gain weight. Ask Michelle, she claims to have gained 6lbs in a week here. # months and it sounds like them female hormones are kicking in well for you. Hang in there the financial situation will get better. With your painting skill you could moonlight and do a better job than MAACO.
Hugs,
Laurie
Laurie,
Until we meet you need to give me some of your recipes you have hidden away. I'm doing better with my weight but its still a real struggle. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Well Mom just told me that she can't accept me transitioning and never will. So........
I just lost my 82 year old mother I guess.
I am so sorry Chelsea. That is a hard one to take. I hope she will at least remain friendly towards you. I hear love transcends looks. Perhaps it will not be as bad as you think. Give it time and let her get used to the idea. But Hun, in the end you have to do what you feel is right for you?
Take it from someone that knows the hurt family rejection can cause. It is survivable thought it is hard. As you know I nearly didn't survive it and still have to deal with some of my issues over it but I am doing better.
Hugs,
Laurie
I am sorry your Mom does not accept you. I know that must hurt.
You weight gain and measurements are fantastic.
Quote from: Chelsea on June 03, 2018, 02:27:25 PM
Well Mom just told me that she can't accept me transitioning and never will. So........
I just lost my 82 year old mother I guess.
Dear Chelsea: So very sad to read your above post comment.
Well, if it is any consolation, you are not alone in this regard. There are lots of members hear that share your pain over personal relationship things like this.
I think that I have mentioned in my thread some time ago that when I officially announced my transition over three and a half years ago that my family... mom, dad, extended family and my long time best friends at the time basically disowned me and all but stopped talking to me... and it was only until last Christmas that when I called my parents on the phone that my mom, as her nervous and abbreviated conversation ended that she said goodbye Danielle. That is the very first time that my mom or anyone there called me by my female name. My dad still will not say more than a few words to me and does not even say my name... and my long term best friends still don't answer my calls or my emails.
As @Laurie stated in her reply... she has had her own disappointments with family and friend relationships and told you
"that is a hard one to take" "...in the end you have to do what you feel is right for you." ***... and
@Laurie , loosing your close relationships and then having your own serious personal issues can not be an easy thing to deal with... kudos to you for having the good attitude that you appear to show on the Forums.
I am sure that for you all of this is indeed very disconcerting and hurtful.... the good news for you is that your brother seems to accept you, so that should be quite comforting to you.
For me it has made me feel quite alone especially since I live so far away now... I am certain that you are having similar feelings.
Hang in there girl.... stay strong and determined.
As always, I will be looking for your continuing reports and updates.
Hugs and hugs...
Danielle
Quote from: Chelsea on June 03, 2018, 02:27:25 PM
Well Mom just told me that she can't accept me transitioning and never will. So........
I just lost my 82 year old mother I guess.
Dear Chelsea, 03 June 2018
NO you have not. Your Mother is 82 years old; she is not going to abandon her daughter. She's a good mom and good Mom's never abandon them no matter what.
I believe she is testing you to see if you will give up. Don't do it. You are the mistress of your own destiny.
Work on getting your financial situation stabilized and get your business back on a solid footing. You have been there before so you should be able to do it again. If I thought for an instant you were incapable of doing so, I wouldn't bother posting to your thread. You have a truck load of smarts so don't let a couple of hiccups harm you. Learn from them and move on to success.
Best Always, All My Love,
Christine
PS:
Tell your Mom I send her my love.
Going on a trip tomorrow; see my thread if interested.
Hasta luego mis amiga
Quote from: Chelsea on June 03, 2018, 02:27:25 PM
Well Mom just told me that she can't accept me transitioning and never will. So........
I just lost my 82 year old mother I guess.
Hi Chelsea,
My heart goes out to you sister, as I think I will be shortly be in a similar position to you.
My Mom is 82 as well, and somewhat frail so my brothers (who both know who I am) are really heavily pressurising me not to talk to my parents (My dad has a lot of depression issues at the moment as well). I do understand, but I could never forgive myself if she passed without knowing she had at least one daughter. Its a difficult decision for me as I don't know if I can ever tell them without causing more issues with their health.
Hopefully your mom with take time to ponder on your news, and eventually realise that you are still her child no matter what.
Don't give up that hope please.
I think you look gorgeous in your avatar and you need to keep going as only by being strong in the face of adversity, both personal and in general life can we support our families and loved ones in helping them to understanding who we really are and have always been. Hang in there girl, we are all rooting for you.
Hugz
Katie
:angel: :angel: :angel:
Quote from: Chelsea on June 03, 2018, 02:27:25 PM
Well Mom just told me that she can't accept me transitioning and never will. So........
I just lost my 82 year old mother I guess.
Awww, so sad to hear this! I hope she learns to accept you for the beautiful person you are.
(((((HUG)))))
I was divorced and my daughter said I am dead to her. I was over my ex's and my daughter and I when to the park for a 4 mile hike. My ex and I were to get lunch today but she cancelled on men next time. Relationships change but sometimes there is some contact.
My friends have not contacted me. I did not reach out to them after we meet when I came out. I will leave it at that.
My parents and brother are dead. My brother accepted me from day one. My parents showed me their disapprove from almost 5 on up with respect to being myself.
Sometimes people change. When they do it is usually a new normal and not the old past.
My sister and her family accept me.
Both my parents passed long before I transitioned. I have a very distant relationship with one brother and sister and none with another brother and sister. My social world is also very small. I have three boys, that I ran with during my marathoning stage, who are still close friends and we speak during our early morning walk/coffee times a couple of times a week. I have come to the point where it is up to my siblings whether we have contact. Hopefully, over time, they will come to a greater level of acceptance. Even closer relationships such as spousal relationships are affected. My SO is still my best friend, but our relationship has become more distant.
I am so sorry that you are going through such a time with your Mom. Change is often difficult for people of an older age.
You have such a bright light burning in you. Please work to protect that flame!
Hugs,
Kelly
I think we all go into this knowing we could lose everyone. I certainly worried about it and I was fortunate when my family supported me. My dad is a bit distant but he's older than your mom. Focus on your successes! You're beautiful, and you have a loving GF. Your brother and nephew are standing with you. Hang tough. <Hugs>
Judi
Thank you everyone. I just do not know what to say or do.
I love all of you and I appreciate the encouragement.
It's very difficult to see now but the answer you have now may not be the last one. My mother had a difficult time accepting my transition and for years she called me by my old name. It was somewhat embarrassing when we were in the tall woman's shop and the only other person there was the sales lady. Eventually she only used my new name and I had a discussion with her where she said what made her accept me was the determination I showed throughout my transition. Your mother may not realize that her current views are subject to change. It will take all the determination you have but I am sure your up to the task.
Quote from: pamelatransuk on May 26, 2018, 08:11:04 AM
I am so sorry to read this Chelsea.
I know how painful it is when your Mum disapproves and insults you - I loved my Mum but she never accepted the way I was/am but I was able to forgive her as she was born in the 1920s. She died in 2015.
I hope your Mum comes round in due time when she will see how much happier you are in the future.
I appreciate your pain now. You are in my prayers.
Hugs
Pamela
I am truly sorry Chelsea to hear once more that your mother says she will never accept you and hence I reiterate my previous thoughts above.
I would add that although it is hurtful and may remain so for some time, even family members and even older ones can change especially when they see over time how much happier you are. Their eyes can indeed be opened.
I repeat "you are in my prayers".
Hugs
Pamela
Thank you everyone.
This is hard for me because even though I am even a little angry, I still must talk to her everyday. If mom don't feel like cooking or anything she will just go to bed at night with nothing. I had to take her to the emergency room last year because she was severely dehydrated. Last night I had my sister call and check on her.
What started this was I ask her yesterday if she was going to be alright when my body starts changing? I wasn't trying to start a argument but, my body is changing and I cant hide this much longer. I built my machine shop on my mothers property in 2013 because the house that my dad built and the property will go to me one day anyway and at the time I lived there.
I just wanted to let you girls know that even though I get upset sometimes and post well.......disturbing post about my adventures, They are real. If I only post the good things in this transition then its not going to benefit anyone that might be following me. Just know that I am a very determined person and would never harm myself. I, like a lot of people say things I really don't mean when I'm really upset. I will continue going forward in this transition and will not stop. I don't feel like the old me anymore so its hard to keep "playing" like the old me.
SO after all this I still am going to the shop today and crank up the music and put some parts out to sell. If mom comes out and talks or not I'm fine either way. I will still be nice and bring her dinner just like always, even if she don't say a word to me. I simply refuse to be unhappy.
Big hugs to all of you. [emoji171]
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on June 04, 2018, 07:59:42 AM
Thank you everyone.
This is hard for me because even though I am even a little angry, I still must talk to her everyday. If mom don't feel like cooking or anything she will just go to bed at night with nothing. I had to take her to the emergency room last year because she was severely dehydrated. Last night I had my sister call and check on her.
What started this was I ask her yesterday if she was going to be alright when my body starts changing? I wasn't trying to start a argument but, my body is changing and I cant hide this much longer. I built my machine shop on my mothers property in 2013 because the house that my dad built and the property will go to me one day anyway and at the time I lived there.
I just wanted to let you girls know that even though I get upset sometimes and post well.......disturbing post about my adventures, They are real. If I only post the good things in this transition then its not going to benefit anyone that might be following me. Just know that I am a very determined person and would never harm myself. I, like a lot of people say things I really don't mean when I'm really upset. I will continue going forward in this transition and will not stop. I don't feel like the old me anymore so its hard to keep "playing" like the old me.
SO after all this I still am going to the shop today and crank up the music and put some parts out to sell. If mom comes out and talks or not I'm fine either way. I will still be nice and bring her dinner just like always, even if she don't say a word to me. I simply refuse to be unhappy.
Big hugs to all of you. [emoji171]
Chelsea
Dear Chelsea: Yes indeed, you go girl..... even though life will throw you a few curves, it is so important to stay on task and keep your internal fire going to reach for your transition goals.
As you have been doing, continue to be good to your mother. I find it very heartening to hear that you still take loving care of her even though she has not accepted "Chelsea" ... she will always see you and love you as one of her children.
Please, Chelsea, always feel free to post about your frustrations, disappointments, failures...
and about your successes and good times.
This is a great place to vent to share your feelings and your thoughts with like-minded members here on the Forums...
you have certainly found friends here that care and that are supporting to you.
I have often told my readers that writing about stuff that we are dealing with in life can absolutely be very good personal therapy... it can help us to work out these issues in our own mind and in our life.
Personally, I also keep a pen and paper journal, complete with doodling, to keep track of my life goings on... Even as a school boy I kept a journal and there are times in my life that I will sit down and read what I have gone through. All of that makes it easier to see the path I took to conquer my life problems. There may be some more personal things that you are tossing around in your mind that you might not want to post on the Forums, then your personal, at home, journal is a good place to write down stuff like that.
As always, I am continually looking forward to clicking on your thread to read about your progress...
... please keep your updates coming, good or bad, but try to keep them coming.
Hugs and well wishes to you,
Danielle
Chelsea life is full of ups and downs and if you only posted nice stories we would probably wonder how you scored such a wonderful life! Writing our thoughts is cathartic. It has certainly benefited me to keep a log. I can tell, as can others, that you are in this for the long haul. I can see in your words that overall you are a happy woman and that is all that matters. Keep your head high. Be kind to your mother as you always have been. Hopefully she will come around to see you as the loving person you are.
Judi
Quote from: Chelsea on June 03, 2018, 02:27:25 PM
Well Mom just told me that she can't accept me transitioning and never will. So........
I just lost my 82 year old mother I guess.
Chelsea, I am so sorry your mother has said these words to you. Don't give up. Her views can change. After only a few weeks since coming out to her, it is still early stages. Her feelings can change as she gets to know Chelsea. The best way to help her accept you is for you to continue loving her and doing everything you have always done for her. You are still the same person, only much happier. Give her a chance to get to know the same but happier version of yourself. I hoping she learns to accept you for who you are. There is also the very real chance that she may never accept you. Don't let her beliefs make you lose sight of what you need to do for yourself. Be the best version of yourself that you can and then it is up to others if they accept you or not, at least you will always know you have been true to yourself. That can't be taken away from you.
(((Big Hug)))
My thoughts are with you.
Jayne
I've been feeling a lot better in the past few days. Mom has decided to talk to me again. She came out to the shop today and walked in on me singing. lol She ask me why I was so happy and I told her I'm always happy now. Hopefully she will come around soon. My sister told me that mom thinks she can change my mind so now I know she just don't understand.
No changing this girls mind. Its not a choice and some people just don't get it.
Business is back going again. I scored another big job today by sending a old friend a email and ended up that he needed some custom parts! I got the job by pure accident if you believe in luck.
I went to my 4th voice therapy yesterday. Nothing really to report on that, its still practice, practice, practice.
Last thing, I grabbed up my girlfriends cheap non prescription glasses today being silly and thought they actually looked cute. Sometimes I think I look decent and others I just want to cry, so either I'm a nut or I look different at times.
Hugs to all you ladies. [emoji171]
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/CxaSQLM.jpg)
Quote from: Chelsea on June 06, 2018, 10:27:27 PM
I've been feeling a lot better in the past few days. Mom has decided to talk to me again. She came out to the shop today and walked in on me singing. lol She ask me why I was so happy and I told her I'm always happy now. Hopefully she will come around soon. My sister told me that mom thinks she can change my mind so now I know she just don't understand.
No changing this girls mind. Its not a choice and some people just don't get it.
Business is back going again. I scored another big job today by sending a old friend a email and ended up that he needed some custom parts! I got the job by pure accident if you believe in luck.
I went to my 4th voice therapy yesterday. Nothing really to report on that, its still practice, practice, practice.
Last thing, I grabbed up my girlfriends cheap non prescription glasses today being silly and thought they actually looked cute. Sometimes I think I look decent and others I just want to cry, so either I'm a nut or I look different at times.
Hugs to all you ladies. [emoji171]
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/CxaSQLM.jpg)
Chelsea: Thank your for your happy posting today and posting your beautiful picture... and your girlfriend's glasses look great on you.
Oh, and that is wonderful about your increased business .... keep making those spur of the moment contacts with friends and past customers... .... and make new customers! Kudos to you for not giving up on your business prospects.
Well, tell me more about your voice lessons, the last time we talked about your voice lessons was that you were finally going back for your 2nd lesson and got your voice up to 170Hz female range pitch.
Keep up with your positive attitude and good luck with your mother.... it is good that your sister is on your side regarding that.
Keep your updates coming.... your curious readers demand it!!!
Hugs,
Danielle
The glasses look good. Is there nothing you can't wear that doesn't look wonderful? Keep smiling girl.
Great news about the shop. I knew you've rise above the bad times. That's good your mother came out to the shop and saw that you were happy. I think she may come around to recognizing the real you is here to stay.
Judi
Quote from: Chelsea on June 06, 2018, 10:27:27 PM
I've been feeling a lot better in the past few days. Mom has decided to talk to me again. She came out to the shop today and walked in on me singing. lol She ask me why I was so happy and I told her I'm always happy now. Hopefully she will come around soon. My sister told me that mom thinks she can change my mind so now I know she just don't understand.
No changing this girls mind. Its not a choice and some people just don't get it.
Business is back going again. I scored another big job today by sending a old friend a email and ended up that he needed some custom parts! I got the job by pure accident if you believe in luck.
I went to my 4th voice therapy yesterday. Nothing really to report on that, its still practice, practice, practice.
Last thing, I grabbed up my girlfriends cheap non prescription glasses today being silly and thought they actually looked cute. Sometimes I think I look decent and others I just want to cry, so either I'm a nut or I look different at times.
Hugs to all you ladies. [emoji171]
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/CxaSQLM.jpg)
Wow! Chelsea, you look awesome! Those glasses suit you very well.
Great update! I think your Mum will eventually figure it out. She is from a different generation, it's no surprise she doesn't fully understand what it means to be trans. In her mind she is being a good mother by trying to change your mind. Heck! I even thought being trans was a lifestyle choice once upon a time. Do your best to educate her and keep showing her this is who you are and how happy it makes you.
Oh, I am so happy your business is back on track. Keep that brain of yours ticking over to bring in any new work you can get. Someone I know here keeps saying that busy people are happy people (did I say that right, Danielle?). She is correct!
Yes, please tell us more about your voice lessons. My voice is something I am currently struggling with, so I am eager to hear about other peoples progress.
Hugs,
Jayne
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on June 06, 2018, 10:40:37 PM
Chelsea: Thank your for your happy posting today and posting your beautiful picture... and your girlfriend's glasses look great on you.
Oh, and that is wonderful about your increased business .... keep making those spur of the moment contacts with friends and past customers... .... and make new customers! Kudos to you for not giving up on your business prospects.
Well, tell me more about your voice lessons, the last time we talked about your voice lessons was that you were finally going back for your 2nd lesson and got your voice up to 170Hz female range pitch.
Keep up with your positive attitude and good luck with your mother.... it is good that your sister is on your side regarding that.
Keep your updates coming.... your curious readers demand it!!!
Hugs,
Danielle
Thank you Danielle.
I'm up to 206hz now and can actually say "hi my name is Chelsea" lol its not much but I'm starting to hear a little bit of what Chelsea is going to sound like and its not to bad. I sound stupid but when I play it back it sounds decent. I cant practice but about 15 minuets a day because my voice gets really tired. I will get there one day and I'm working hard on my voice right now.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: JudiBlueEyes on June 06, 2018, 10:41:09 PM
The glasses look good. Is there nothing you can't wear that doesn't look wonderful? Keep smiling girl.
Great news about the shop. I knew you've rise above the bad times. That's good your mother came out to the shop and saw that you were happy. I think she may come around to recognizing the real you is here to stay.
Judi
Judi that is so sweet. :)
I wish I could see what you do. I think mom will come around but I'm not out of the woods for a while.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Jayne01 on June 06, 2018, 10:53:44 PM
Wow! Chelsea, you look awesome! Those glasses suit you very well.
Great update! I think your Mum will eventually figure it out. She is from a different generation, it's no surprise she doesn't fully understand what it means to be trans. In her mind she is being a good mother by trying to change your mind. Heck! I even thought being trans was a lifestyle choice once upon a time. Do your best to educate her and keep showing her this is who you are and how happy it makes you.
Oh, I am so happy your business is back on track. Keep that brain of yours ticking over to bring in any new work you can get. Someone I know here keeps saying that busy people are happy people (did I say that right, Danielle?). She is correct!
Yes, please tell us more about your voice lessons. My voice is something I am currently struggling with, so I am eager to hear about other peoples progress.
Hugs,
Jayne
Thank you Jayne!
I posted about my voice therapy above before I seen your post. :) Yeah I'm starting to think mom will be ok, otherwise she would not come around so much. I'm just trying to stay positive all the time.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Addendum to my previous post. One of the reasons my mother was so slow to come around was because the difficulty I faced in my transition really prevented me from being that type of happy. It was almost 5 years of work before I reached the point you're at now. In addition, much of that time I wasn't around my mother so she didn't have a good opportunity to see the changes that were taking place in me. Your mother being able to see you daily makes it likely she will come around sooner than latter.
Quote from: Dena on June 06, 2018, 11:24:11 PM
Addendum to my previous post. One of the reasons my mother was so slow to come around was because the difficulty I faced in my transition really prevented me from being that type of happy. It was almost 5 years of work before I reached the point you're at now. In addition, much of that time I wasn't around my mother so she didn't have a good opportunity to see the changes that were taking place in me. Your mother being able to see you daily makes it likely she will come around sooner than latter.
I hope you are right Dena. I love my mother and would hate to loose her. Even if she does accept me I don't think she will never understand. She thinks its a choice and has told me that.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on June 06, 2018, 11:28:56 PM
I hope you are right Dena. I love my mother and would hate to loose her. Even if she does accept me I don't think she will never understand. She thinks its a choice and has told me that.
Hugs,
Chelsea
She currently thinks it's a choice. That can change as she gets to know you and learns more about what being transgender means. Don't give up hope.
Jayne
It's very difficult for a CIS person to understand what we feel. It's even difficult for us to explain what we feel to them because they don't have the frame of reference to understand what we feel. About the only thing they can understand is the change in how we feel about ourselves and others. When they see how somebody who has been unhappy much of their life becomes somebody who's enjoyable to be around, they understand that it's was something we had to do.
This is also why we often find being around other transgender people so comforting. For the first time in our life somebody understands what we feel as they have also felt the same. I know the first time I attended group therapy, I never felt anything like that before and it was like I knew everybody in the room better than I knew anybody before.
Hi Girlfriend,
You do look cute in those glasses and you look cute without them too. Heck you are just cute girly. Glad to hear the work is working out again. catch those bills up if you can. You stick to your convictions on who you are girl. Your mom will either come around or she won't. Of course we are all hoping with you that she will.
Hugs,
Laurie
Hi Chelsea
So so happy your mom is talking to you again. Think everyone's right give her time to come around & just carry on being yourself towards her, it'll work itself out.
Those glasses actually look awesome on you, your too hard on yourself you look fantastic [emoji178]
Sophie
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
Quote from: Chelsea on June 06, 2018, 10:27:27 PM
I've been feeling a lot better in the past few days. Mom has decided to talk to me again. She came out to the shop today and walked in on me singing. lol She ask me why I was so happy and I told her I'm always happy now. Hopefully she will come around soon. My sister told me that mom thinks she can change my mind so now I know she just don't understand.
No changing this girls mind. Its not a choice and some people just don't get it.
Business is back going again. I scored another big job today by sending a old friend a email and ended up that he needed some custom parts! I got the job by pure accident if you believe in luck.
I went to my 4th voice therapy yesterday. Nothing really to report on that, its still practice, practice, practice.
Last thing, I grabbed up my girlfriends cheap non prescription glasses today being silly and thought they actually looked cute. Sometimes I think I look decent and others I just want to cry, so either I'm a nut or I look different at times.
Hugs to all you ladies. [emoji171]
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/CxaSQLM.jpg)
OMG, Chelsea, you look adorable!!! You were right that you look cute in the glasses.
Glad to hear that your business is picking up. It is more than luck: you went out and marketed yourself. I am also glad to hear that you are mostly happy, and that your mother is starting to come around.
You ladies are way too good to me. Your sweet comments has got me teary eyed this morning. lol
Chelsea,
You are gorgeous. Don't resist seeing what all of us can see so clearly. That is the unanimous opinion of all of Susan's Place.
It is good to hear your business is coming along. It is a never ending battle to keep new work coming in but you are up to the task. Quality work, delivered on time, is its own best recommendation.
Your mother is going through the process. She obviously cares a great deal about you and surely wants what is best for you. Show her, through your day to day life, that this transition is what is best. When she does realize that this is what is best, the change of attitude will be irresistible, automatic, for her.
Keep busy with working at the business and on your voice. Stop worrying about your appearance. You got that nailed, girl. Above all, Be happy!
Stevi
Quote from: Stevi on June 07, 2018, 09:06:30 AM
Chelsea,
You are gorgeous. Don't resist seeing what all of us can see so clearly. That is the unanimous opinion of all of Susan's Place.
It is good to hear your business is coming along. It is a never ending battle to keep new work coming in but you are up to the task. Quality work, delivered on time, is its own best recommendation.
Your mother is going through the process. She obviously cares a great deal about you and surely wants what is best for you. Show her, through your day to day life, that this transition is what is best. When she does realize that this is what is best, the change of attitude will be irresistible, automatic, for her.
Keep busy with working at the business and on your voice. Stop worrying about your appearance. You got that nailed, girl. Above all, Be happy!
Stevi
Dear Chelsea, 07 June 2018
I highlighted some of Stevi's comments. I've been telling you virtually the same thing everyone else has been saying about how gorgeous you are. Please believe us.
I think your Mother already knows your transition is what's best for you; she just has to go through the process of acceptance and admittance. If Mother's weren't the smartest people on earth, there wouldn't any people on earth.
Now you know why men don't have babies.Best Always, All My Love,
Christine
the"Old Nag" that cares
So glad that your business has picked up. As for your Mom, all you can do is continue to be happy, sing, dance and show the world the wonderful girl you are! As for the glasses, with your bone structure, you rock them. Can't wait to see a picture of you in some of those Italian sunglasses!
Stay positive!
Hugs,
Kelly
Thank you Stevi and Christine.
I think I look decent enough but not sure if I would pass. I would come out to the world now but I have my mother I'm waiting on and my voice. Its a slow process and its killing me. I can't go out in public with this voice but trust me I'm tired of waiting.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: islandgirl on June 07, 2018, 05:35:58 PM
So glad that your business has picked up. As for your Mom, all you can do is continue to be happy, sing, dance and show the world the wonderful girl your are! As for the glasses, with your bone structure, you rock them. Can't wait to see a picture of you in some of those Italian sunglasses!
Stay positive!
Hugs,
Kelly
Thank you Kelly! Mom talked to me a lot today, nothing about being trans but small talk. I'm so ready to get out there in the world and be me.
Hugs
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on June 07, 2018, 05:44:18 PM
Thank you Kelly! Mom talked to me a lot today, nothing about being trans but small talk. I'm so ready to get out there in the world and be me.
Hugs
Chelsea
That's great! That means trans is not the only thing on her mind. She is finding her own way to accepting the new you.
Girl....you are rocking your looks! You will have no problem passing with looks alone. I can't comment on your voice or mannerisms which can be a dead giveaway. How safe is your area for trans people? If your surrounding community is tolerant, then go for it! Set Chelsea free! If your safety is an issue and it's safer for you to be stealth, then practice getting your voice and mannerisms right. You have already got your looks sorted out.
Best wishes!
Hugs,
Jayne
Hi Chelsea,
Glad to hear things are progressing along for you, I'm glad you've got a strong positive attitude - it will definitely help.
Sorry I haven't had a chance to reply to your letter yet - I'm a bit up and down at the moment so its hard to write something definitive about me back to you - if you know what I mean...But it will happen, sooner than later.
Take care,
Sonja.
I had a appointment with my therapist today. She was impressed that I had come out to my mother and my brother, or at least she acted like it. I think this is the fifth time seeing her. I told her about going out in the car a few times. I told her that now the only thing keeping me from going out into the world is my voice. She said that there are places I could go in public and not really have to talk to anyone. The first thing I thought of was I could go pump gas. I would be out of the car but be close enough to jump back in if it becomes crisis time. :laugh:
I started Chelsea a Facebook this week and have got so many people telling me to get out there including most of you I think I'm ready. I'm asking all of you that are interested to send me a friend request, the more friends the better.
On the way home me and Alivia stopped at the store. I do not have many girl cloths and wanted a pair of skinny jeans.
I marched right in there and after about 10 mins I found a cute pair. Me and Alivia walked up to the girl at the dressing rooms and she ask Alivia "Are these for you?" I was so proud of myself because I stepped in and said "No they are for me" She stopped for a second and said "You know these are girl jeans?" I said "yes mam I'm transgender and have to start somewhere" She said "O sure go right ahead" I cant believe that I actually did that. No embarrassment at all.
Very sad that my happy moments didn't last very long. I tried them on and guess what? They didn't fit. Just to give you girls a idea of how skinny I am these were a size 4. That was the smallest ones in the store. I cant go out without something to wear so I'm stuck here again dealing with my weight issue. That really let me know just how skinny I am. I guess that's all for now because if I keep going its going to be just complaining about my weight again.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on June 08, 2018, 05:27:30 PMI said "yes mam I'm transgender and have to start somewhere" She said "O sure go right ahead" I cant believe that I actually did that. No embarrassment at all.
Yay, good for you! Sorry to hear that the jeans didn't fit.
Way to go, Chelsea! Don't let not getting the jeans hold you back! There are other stores. Great attitude! I have said before that you have the courage and now you have the intent! Life will be so much better for you!
Hugs,
Kelly
Yes! You deserve to be you and go shopping like anyone else. Don't be bummed out about the size. Women's clothing is all over the map. I typically wear an 8 in pants but I do have 10's and 6's that fit great. Tops are another thing all together. Where are you going shopping next?
Judi
Quote from: Chelsea on June 08, 2018, 05:27:30 PM
I had a appointment with my therapist today. She was impressed that I had come out to my mother and my brother, or at least she acted like it. I think this is the fifth time seeing her. I told her about going out in the car a few times. I told her that now the only thing keeping me from going out into the world is my voice. She said that there are places I could go in public and not really have to talk to anyone. The first thing I thought of was I could go pump gas. I would be out of the car but be close enough to jump back in if it becomes crisis time. :laugh:
I started Chelsea a Facebook this week and have got so many people telling me to get out there including most of you I think I'm ready. I'm asking all of you that are interested to send me a friend request, the more friends the better.
On the way home me and Alivia stopped at the store. I do not have many girl cloths and wanted a pair of skinny jeans.
I marched right in there and after about 10 mins I found a cute pair. Me and Alivia walked up to the girl at the dressing rooms and she ask Alivia "Are these for you?" I was so proud of myself because I stepped in and said "No they are for me" She stopped for a second and said "You know these are girl jeans?" I said "yes mam I'm transgender and have to start somewhere" She said "O sure go right ahead" I cant believe that I actually did that. No embarrassment at all.
Very sad that my happy moments didn't last very long. I tried them on and guess what? They didn't fit. Just to give you girls a idea of how skinny I am these were a size 4. That was the smallest ones in the store. I cant go out without something to wear so I'm stuck here again dealing with my weight issue. That really let me know just how skinny I am. I guess that's all for now because if I keep going its going to be just complaining about my weight again.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea: I am so glad that you have been faithfully continuing with your voice therapy, very important to have your voice at least somewhat match your female appearance.
Well, regarding womens clothing, as you are aware, the clothing sizes and related measurements are not very valid for the trans-woman. Our hips are smaller, our upper torso is bigger, the ratios between hips, waist and bust are all different than for a cis-female. The same size pants that I wear are usually too small for a similar stature cis-female... cis-female obviously have more pronounced curves that require a bigger size to fit their hips and butt.
Good advice dictates to not buy anything until you try it on at the store. Of course once you have purchased more female clothing that fits properly you can better judge the sizes that may fit you.... but still try them on before purchase... this will save you a lot of time at the refund and exchange desk at the store.
It was good to read that you were confident and bold when at the check out counter to buy your new jeans.... way to go!!! I imagine that the clerk will be more careful in the future.
Thanks for sharing your update... I always am looking forward to following your life events.
Hugs,
Danielle
Thank you ladies! I'm not stressed about it the jeans. I know I have a long way to go. If I had just a few more pounds they would have fit perfect. I'm just going to keep eating as much as I can to get those pounds on.
I remember some of you girls said that you keep a journal about your transition. After the jeans didn't fit I was on my way out and walked right by a new journal book that just called out to me. I said to Alivia "Look that's Chelsea all the way." Danielle I thought of you right away because of your "positive mindset thread" and I had to have it.
I love the bold statement because that's how determined I really am. I think my baby boy loves it too. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/tjs2QAC.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/zDfoIxW.jpg)
Quote from: Chelsea on June 08, 2018, 09:12:48 PM
Thank you ladies! I'm not stressed about it the jeans. I know I have a long way to go. If I had just a few more pounds they would have fit perfect. I'm just going to keep eating as much as I can to get those pounds on.
I remember some of you girls said that you keep a journal about your transition. After the jeans didn't fit I was on my way out and walked right by a new journal book that just called out to me. I said to Alivia "Look that's Chelsea all the way." Danielle I thought of you right away because of your "positive mindset thread" and I had to have it.
I love the bold statement because that's how determined I really am. I think my baby boy loves it too. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/tjs2QAC.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/zDfoIxW.jpg)
Chelsea: Way to go.... yes, your new personal pen and paper journal is a great place to share your most personal thoughts with yourself.... be sure to write down exactly how you are feeling about things that you are concerned about... for me I find that it really helps me to process the way I can deal with my life issues and find solutions to get back on track.
Obviously sharing here on the Forums is also very good therapy but most certainly your most personal things belong only in your private journal
I am happy and somewhat flattered that you are finding some of my methods may be helping.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
I look at some of the sizes others purchase and just feel lost. I am not carrying extra weight and the smallest I can squeeze into is a 14 or 16 tall. On the other hand a possible solution to your problem would be to look at junior sizes. They run a bit smaller and they have the advantage that their not as shapely, ideal for a developing body .
Way to go at the store Chelsea! Being confident in yourself when the salesperson told you they were women's jeans, and telling her straight up that you are trans and need to start somewhere.....awesome! Well done! The next time will be easier and the time after that will be easier again.
Sorry the jeans ended up not fitting. Women's clothing sizes are almost meaningless. There is so much variation between brands and sometimes even the same brand with different styles. Our sizes in Australia run differently to what you are used to, but I tried in two different styles of jeans from the same brand. The only difference in the styles was that one had a boot leg cut and the other was a skinny leg cut. I needed a different size in each style. Don't concern yourself too much with what the actual size is, just shop around until you find something that fits. There are clothes out there to fit every body shape imaginable. Don't give up!
Great job finding that journal. It has Chelsea written all over it. It is so you.
Oh, I don't have a Facebook account otherwise I would be sending you a friend request for sure. One of these days I might create an account for myself.
Take care,
Hugs,
Jayne
Hi Chelsea good to see everything is going well sory to hear your jeans not fitting but don't worry you will find some soon :) love your journal and your kitty looks soooooo cute!
Trigger Warning !!
Girls I am at the end of my rope. This will probably be my very last post. I am negative in all three bank accounts and cant do anything about it. In 11 days I will loose one very important machine that I need to keep going. Evey time I go one step forward I go 15 back. Also I owe the IRS 13,000. Who ever said money cant by happiness is a idiot because in my case it would have. All the money from the recent jobs have been used for bills and I'm out. I am so full of hate and anger right now I cant even express it. Thanks to all of you for your support but I'm afraid that encouraging thoughts and ideas is not gonna help this want to be girl. I wish all of you the very best life. Live it to the fullest sense I cant.
Quote from: Chelsea on June 11, 2018, 11:09:57 AM
Trigger Warning !!
Girls I am at the end of my rope. This will probably be my very last post. I am negative in all three bank accounts and cant do anything about it. In 11 days I will loose one very important machine that I need to keep going. Evey time I go one step forward I go 15 back. Also I owe the IRS 13,000. Who ever said money cant by happiness is a idiot because in my case it would have. All the money from the recent jobs have been used for bills and I'm out. I am so full of hate and anger right now I cant even express it. Thanks to all of you for your support but I'm afraid that encouraging thoughts and ideas is not gonna help this want to be girl. I wish all of you the very best life. Live it to the fullest sense I cant.
My dear Chelsea; Hang in there! As it has been happening for you, things can change rather quickly for better as they have for worse. I am always wishing you well.
Never give up, never surrender.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fdcIwHKd_s
Please ... I want you to PM me.
Hugs, and well wishes,
Danielle
I agree Chelsea! Changes happen. Sometimes the big changes create opportunity elsewhere. I look back at your journey to date and see many positive things that have happened to you. You are taking control of your inner woman and that can not change. Things may seem hopeless right now, but keep moving and trying. A new beginning will happen. You are in my thoughts.
Hugs,
Kelly
Hi Chelsea never give up you are an amazing woman with soooo much talent you will get through this 1 step at a time since I started following you on your journey you have given me hope for when I start Mine
You are an inspiration to us all
Xxx
Hugs Chloe
Quote from: Chelsea on June 11, 2018, 11:09:57 AM
Trigger Warning !!
Girls I am at the end of my rope. This will probably be my very last post. I am negative in all three bank accounts and cant do anything about it. In 11 days I will loose one very important machine that I need to keep going. Evey time I go one step forward I go 15 back. Also I owe the IRS 13,000. Who ever said money cant by happiness is a idiot because in my case it would have. All the money from the recent jobs have been used for bills and I'm out. I am so full of hate and anger right now I cant even express it. Thanks to all of you for your support but I'm afraid that encouraging thoughts and ideas is not gonna help this want to be girl. I wish all of you the very best life. Live it to the fullest sense I cant.
So sorry to hear this Chelsea, you are an amazing young woman and I would just Np at the chance to help out if I was in a position to do so. Hang in there and keep us informed please
Quote from: Chelsea on June 11, 2018, 11:09:57 AM
Trigger Warning !!
Girls I am at the end of my rope. This will probably be my very last post. I am negative in all three bank accounts and cant do anything about it. In 11 days I will loose one very important machine that I need to keep going. Evey time I go one step forward I go 15 back. Also I owe the IRS 13,000. Who ever said money cant by happiness is a idiot because in my case it would have. All the money from the recent jobs have been used for bills and I'm out. I am so full of hate and anger right now I cant even express it. Thanks to all of you for your support but I'm afraid that encouraging thoughts and ideas is not gonna help this want to be girl. I wish all of you the very best life. Live it to the fullest sense I cant.
Chelsea, I am sorry you have hit another obstacle with your work. You are correct, thoughts and ideas alone will not help your financial situation. Take a deep breath, calm yourself and approach this problem with a clear mind. You have been without work before and then landed jobs to pay some bills. You can find work again. If you still can't find work and you lose that important machine, you still have skills. Look for a job working for someone else, using your skills. Can you make some parts to keep for yourself before the machine goes away to show off your skills if it comes to that?
There is a way out of your current situation but you will not find that solution if your mind is clouded with hate and anger.
I will also send you a PM and you can send me a PM anytime. Please don't leave the forum. There might be someone here who can give you just the right idea you need to get you back on your feet.
Hang in there, Chelsea.
Hugs,
Jayne
So sorry to read your latest post Chelsea. Please try not to be too despondent but I know it is difficult to change your thinking when you are down.
I shall pray for you. God Bless you.
Pamela
Chelsea I know things seems dark but have faith in yourself. You will come through these tough times.
Judi
UPDATE to all of Chelsea's followers:
....from Alaskan Danielle regarding our much loved Chelsea:
Please keep posting your encouraging and uplifting replies here on her thread. Even though she has gone "silent" as far a posting is concerned she is checking in a few times a day undoubtedly reading your reply posts here.
I have been communicating with Chelsea outside of Susan's Place and have been having a heartfelt dialog exchange with her. She is obviously depressed regarding her business and financial situation and is still attempting to be upbeat about her transition in face of some difficulties there.
Again, PLEASE continue posting your thoughts here.... she has been checking in and has been looking at her thread.
I will do my best to keep all of her followers here updated while making an effort to not delve into Chelsea's privacy.
We all love ya Chelsea..... keep on keeping on.
HUGS to ALL,
Danielle
Went there with my business so feel for you, the only thing I can say is keep tying as you never know whats in the future. Consider this as a facebook friend request!!
Good morning Chelsea! I have been thinking about you a lot over the past few days. You are such a beautiful and courageous young woman! I know that things seem hopeless for you at the moment, but I want you to know that you have a large group of women who are here to support you! Please stay as positive as possible and know that because you are such a capable and skilled person, that things will work out for you.
Hugs,
Kelly
Dear Chelsea
I've just run through your thread and apart from the cashflow, you have a lot going for you (ignoring family stuff as I can see that will not be an issue for you soon, as people get used to us and then accept us as we are in reality the person they knew before). You are very pretty, have friends, (as well as us here), and you have immense courage in following your heart and starting transitioning. Don't forget that. We all get battered by life, but we get up again, thumb a salute at it (naughty type), and keep going, you know you have that courage in you - we have seen it. I'm extremely envious of your cute looks, and weight/size, and you do have more going for you than you think. All I can do, as you mention, is send my warmest heart felt support and words, and they are from my heart.
I don't live in the states, so banking there is new to me, but when I get in difficulty I talk to those that have lent me money so they know what's going on. Often they help so as to get their cash back rather than lose it altogether. Maybe someone knows of a way or an organisation that can help or advise financially in the states. I don't remember what you do, but maybe you can offer to do work for them whilst getting back on your feet? Again I don't know the details.
Please think about your issues from different perspectives, there will be a way.
As I said, you are strong to get where you have so you cant give up.
We all love you here and OK, we most likely cant physically help, but maybe assist with ideas, however outlandish, that may spark some recovery for you, both in your self belief and with work.
God bless
(and Hugz)
Katie
:angel:
I will second
@Alaskan Danielle 's post. We all need support at times in our lives. This is Chelsea's time of need. Like Danielle I am also in touch with Chelsea.
Hugs, to her and everyone,
Laurie
Hey Chelsea... Don't give up! I have been where you are. You are such a beautiful, smart and vibrant women, there is no mountain you cannot climb.
You may be wondering why I know so well how this feels. In College, I owned a small company with a classmate and we had leased some very expensive equipment under the commitment of two customers to regularly hire our services. We had done all of our diligence financially and it should have worked out just fine. We did not expect one of our customers seizing his business and the other only hiring us at half the originally agreed price. We ended up with weekends where we earned about 50 Euros after two backbreaking days of work.
Still, somehow we decided not to give up on. I ended working four days a week to keep our company afloat. My friend did a few side jobs to pay for his expenses and what I made was barely enough for the leased equipment and the rent for our shop. My fridge was sometimes empty for days, sometimes weeks. At least I could have one occasional meal at college.
We managed to keep the company alive for about 3 years, trying to get new customers. One day my friend called me and told me that he has a permanent job offer and that he wants out. I had one too at that point and we dissolved the company. We could return the leased equipment and sell off everything else. I ended with quite some debt out of this and it took me a few years to fully recover.
In the end, however, I made it. I dug myself out of this mess.
You are not the only one. Think what else you have already mastered and accomplished in your life. I do believe anyone who has admitted to themselves to be transgender and has taken steps is very resilient. I am convinced you can find a way out of this!
Stay strong, and please stay positive!
Hugs,
Sarah
Chelsea,
I don't have any experience running my own business, so I'm not sure how I can help in that area. However, my parents ran their own business for most of the time I was growing up and living at home. It originally built into a successful business with good income, but then due to factors outside of their control, the business took a massive hit and they were forced to close it down and do something else to make ends meet. Initially both mum and dad found jobs working for another employer, not even in the same industry they were in. It was any job just to pay the bills and put food on the table. In their spare time, they came up with alternative business ideas, different to their original business, but still something they could put their skills to use. Over the years, they ran several different businesses. They never became rich, but they provided well for three children and managed to make it to retirement without being hungry, owned their own home and even had some savings to help them enjoy retirement. What I am wanting to say is don't give up. You will get through this. This isn't the end of the world.
Hang in there girl.
Hugs,
Jayne
Sorry you are having a rough time, but don't let an obstacle stop you, or deter you from the big picture; speed bumps slow us down, but they don't stop us from reaching our destination. I had a lot of speed bumps during my transition, which is why it took me 9 years to go full time!
Best wishes, have faith in yourself, and never stop trying😊
Thank you everyone for chipping in with your thoughts, experiences, and encouraging words for Chelsea....
I had already shared some of the following with Chelsea but I want to post more of my experiences here on her thread so that she can see from reading all of the supportive posts that she is not alone with business, money and personal issues that try to derail our transition plans and life goals.
For me, I have had my very successful career in the corporate world and I now am self employed in my own business..... but there were some unhappy and very tough financial times for me early on.
After studying very hard in college and graduating with a MBA and a Mathematics degree I had acquired my dream job, finally after about a year I had bought and moved to my new home, had just contracted for remodeling and then all of a sudden after working there for about a year, with no notice, my job was gone... the company went chapter 11 and had a mass lay-off . I immediately lost my company car and also my very good income.... my very first house payment was due in a few weeks among many other expenses...plus what was left of my college loans were coming due, about $30,000+... I immediately scrambled to find a job, any job, or any jobs. Even if they were low paying jobs they would at the very least offset some of my expenses and if lucky any job that I would get would provide health insurance benefits.
Temporarily I got a job at K-Mart... working at night stocking the shelves... low pay for sure but it was something. I then was seeking something more but first I had to buy a car to replace the now gone Company Car... so I bought a beater VW Bug so I could look for additional work.... I found a 2nd job as low pay clerk at Office Depot clear across town, it was a daytime job so I was able to keep my K-Mart night job. In any spare time that I had, which was not much with working 2 jobs, I put my feet to the pavement and I personally applied for every job I could think of that could utilize my hard earned and expensive college degrees.
The key aspect of my story so far is that at the Office Depot store when I was helping a customer finding accounting and finance supplies... he and I started a conversation about accounting and business... it turns out that he was the VP of Accounting at a large company that was expanding .... with that conversation I soon landed a great job with his company.... and a much better situation and more pay than my previous Corporate job...
Here is the point I want to get across... IF I had not taken that low pay 2nd job I may have never found my path to the much better and higher paying job with the new company. I held that job as an accounting and business development executive for 8 years and received promotions and pay upgrades during my time there.... that was the last job I had working for someone else before I became Full-time in my transition and then relocated to where I am now and started my own woman owned self-employed CPA business
Chelsea, the salient point of my preceding life experience is for you to take any opportunity or opportunities, low pay, temporary, more than one job, whatever... to offset your ongoing expenses while being diligent in seeking ways to save your business or to find a job that utilizes your hard earned skills and abilities, with a paycheck that is commensurate with your experience and expertise.
Blessings to you Chelsea, and as always I am wishing you well,
Hugs,
Danielle
I would like to add to Danielle's comments, thanking you all for your support and encouragement for Chelsea.
I have been in contact with Chelsea today, and with her permission, I'd like to let you all know that she is ok. It is clearly a very difficult time for her right now. She does read your posts but will probably be taking a little break from posting anything herself. Keep your comments coming, she needs help to get back on her feet.
Thank you.
Hugs,
Jayne
@Chelsea - Never give up, ever. As a self employed person myself I know the never ending struggle to get up every morning and face another day. To belay doubts and fear and force a positive smile on your face in the eternal optimism that I will try to score another paid job. Despite the fact that I owe $35k on top of my mortgage and I'm almost always in a floating credit with my bank - I am eternally optimistic - why? Because the alternative would lead me down a dark path. Over the many years I have often taken on part time jobs while running my small business, waitering, bar work, data entry, warehouse storeman, once I had a temp job to wipe the mould from thousands of wine bottles that hadn't been packed properly in their container...( no I didn't drink any..), packing orders of lingerie in a massive factory - loved that job.....yes I did have a staff discount....my first ever bra - said it was for my girlfriend.....it wasn't .... ;-)
So - I would take Danielle's advice, nothing beats a financial debt better than the surety of a paid job, whether its part time or a temporary job till you feel better. I promise you - it can be a real spirit lifter knowing your still moving along by doing that.
Take care Chelsea,
Sonja X
Thank you everyone. I'm not feeling well and will be back later on if I get out if this mess.
I love all of you.
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on June 12, 2018, 09:01:31 PM
Thank you everyone. I'm not feeling well and will be back later on if I get out if this mess.
I love all of you.
Chelsea
Take all the time you need, Chelsea. Look after yourself.
(((Hugs)))
Jayne
Quote from: Chelsea on June 12, 2018, 09:01:31 PM
Thank you everyone. I'm not feeling well and will be back later on if when I get out if this mess.
I love all of you.
Chelsea
Please don't leave us.
I too have been there. I think I went through the most unspeakably cruel depression I had ever felt when my business failed and every turn I took was worse than the last. A customer I had gone to great lengths to accommodate surprised all with a bankruptcy leaving me out about $25K (a tidy sum in 1990), my surgeon had just told me I needed surgery and would be out of work for 6 months (no insurance), and I had the state and IRS hounding me.
Oh, did I mention I was starting my transition as well? My 12-year-old daughter and I were at about the same level of puberty...
Darkness was closing in on all sides when a phone call asking for more time on a debt led to a chance job interview - as Susan. It wasn't much but between my new job and my wife's, we had barely enough to keep a roof over our heads, beans (literally) on the table and the bears at bay but we made it.
You
will get through this mess. You have made it this far and bedazzled your doubters, you cannot turn back now.
Susan
Quote from: Chelsea on June 12, 2018, 09:01:31 PM
Thank you everyone. I'm not feeling well and will be back later on if I get out if this mess.
I love all of you.
Chelsea
We all love you Chelsea and we are all here for you however we can be. Please be well and stay strong. Lots of us have been against the wall and found a way around it. You will find your way. Bless you and love always 💗💕Donna💗💕
Quote from: Susan Baum on June 12, 2018, 09:52:21 PM
"Aging is inevitable - growing up is optional."
Hi Susan, 12 June 2018
My sentiments exactly. Have never grown up and never plan to; too much fun being a 78 year old kid while simultaneously transitioning.
Best Always, Love,
Christine
Quote from: Chelsea on June 12, 2018, 09:01:31 PM
Thank you everyone. I'm not feeling well and will be back later on if I get out if this mess.
I love all of you.
Chelsea
No, No! Not IF you get out of the mess, WHEN. You will do it. I have faith in you. You've gotten this far on your own initiative and will power. You will overcome this as well.
Love to you, Judi
Quote from: JudiBlueEyes on June 13, 2018, 10:26:35 AM
No, No! Not IF you get out of the mess, WHEN. You will do it. I have faith in you. You've gotten this far on your own initiative and will power. You will overcome this as well.
Chelsea
I absolutely agree with Judy, it is when , and never if. Your too nice a person not to succeed, you just need to keep plugging away a bit more and you will see you can succeed, maybe not tomorrow but sometime soon. Maybe not big stuff, but cherish the small wins, they keep us all going believe me.
Love you
Katie
:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:
Hey Chelsea,
Been traveling for work this past week and haven't been able to log on. I am so sorry to read about your woes, but I know that you can get through this. My thoughts and best wishes are with you! Let us know if there is any other way we can help besides offering our encouragement.
Love,
Julie
I figured I might try and update you girls if your interested. This has been the worst week ever. A little piece of info that none of you know. I left out this little piece of info because of what people might think but I'm over caring about that now. If you have been reading my thread then you know that my mother had a stroke a while back. After that happened me and my girlfriend moved in with her. She needs my help. She raised me and took care of me all those years so now it's my turn. My sister told me a while back that mom won't last long by herself so I moved in to help. The day before yesterday was... well I'm just going to say really bad. Mom is dead against this transition and told me that it will never happen around her. I am stuck and it is killing me.
When I moved in I had plenty of money but now I'm broke. I cannot dress as Chelsea around her so that only leaves me able to at night in one room of the house. She works at the court house here in town on Tuesday and Thursday every week, that is the only time that Chelsea can come out. Another problem is I sold my F350 to make some machine payments and the mustang I have has no breaks or tags. My therapist told me that I need to start going out as Chelsea and I am fine with that but as you can see I'm stuck. I have to support my mother and my girlfriend that has a condition and can no longer work. She has filed for support but you girls know how long that takes. Is really hard to keep food in the fridge for them and that makes me feel like a failure. I am supposed to be the rock, the support.
Tiny bit of good news is that my tax guy got my IRS bill from 13k down to $3400 and setup where I can pay a little each month. Thing is I owe him a little money to send it in that I do not have. Also have a machine payment that was due yesterday and I don't have it. On my "Dark Day" I will call it, one of my best friends came over and talked to me for over 3 hours. He owns a professional paint correction and extreme auto detail shop and offered me a job. Today will be my first day and I'm already very tired. He told me that I am the only one he knows that will do the kind of quality work that he needs. After working with him it will be back to the CNC shop until late at night so there will be very little time for posting. I already owe him money and it will be 60 hours of work before I get to see one penny. I do jump in from time to time to check post and will try and keep you updated. Thank you all for the amazing support and I love all of you.
Chelsea
Dear Chelsea: Thank you so very much for your UPDATE. All of your readers here appreciate your report and some of the details that you felt free to share with us.
Life indeed has dealt you a difficult hand this last few weeks. Kudos to you, especially with the relationship problems with your mother and now with her medical condition.... for stepping up and being so led to do the right thing and take care of her in her time of need.
You are right about that scenario, she raised you and took care of you and now it is your turn.
It was very good to hear about your friend and the job he offered to you... and also about your progress with getting your taxes owed under control.
We are so very glad to have heard from you and to read your posting.
Only when you have time and feel so led, come back again and give us an update.
Blessings to you as always,
Many Hugs,
Danielle
Hello Chelsea
There is no denying you have been and are still going through a really torrid time on several fronts; I know how painful it is when you love your mother but she opposes you being true to yourself. It physically hurts.
I am glad to see that your tax bill has been reduced by $9600 and you have TTP (Time to Pay) agreement and that you have found paid work but appreciate you must be exhausted.
Wishing you success and happiness.
Hugs
Pamela xx
Hi Chelsea,
Thank you for posting your update. You have had a horrible week for sure but there is still some good news. Your tax bill has been reduced significantly and you have an opportunity for some paid work with your friend. You also mentioned that you will still be doing some CNC work. The long work hours will be very tiring for you, but necessary for now. You have the added difficulty of your mother not accepting Chelsea. These are very stressful times for you, but there is a dim light starting to become visible at the end of the tunnel. Keep working hard and look after your yourself, that dim light will get bigger and brighter.
Hugs,
Jayne
Sorry to hear about your problems, at least in the short term you have a way out with a job. Your situation with your mom doesn't look good at all, has she made any progress in accepting you.
Dear Chelsea - you see, you have friends that will help you, we all said you would have as you are a nice person. Your Mum needs to take her blessings a bit where she can in reality, if you are supporting her then you need to make it clear that its because you are Chelsea and as such you care about her. Old women are still stuck in the 40s 50s 60s 70s etc and we love them because they are but you cant let them stop you being you, maybe you try some gender neutral clothes etc for a bit..
Sorry random rant a bit but I have similar problem and I have 2 brothers 240+ LBS of muscle and have brains that stop me from outing to my aged parents (other posts) - I have more brains but cant use them it seems... too much GD..
Chelsea
my words above are my thoughts but no matter who, if they love you then they will help you to be happy. if they don't then they are self cantered and if possible need to look after themselves more to appreciate you (hard I know and doesn't suit all situations)
Katie
Quote from: Katie Again on June 15, 2018, 05:42:38 PM
Dear Chelsea - you see, you have friends that will help you, we all said you would have as you are a nice person. Your Mum needs to take her blessings a bit where she can in reality, if you are supporting her then you need to make it clear that its because you are Chelsea and as such you care about her. Old women are still stuck in the 40s 50s 60s 70s etc and we love them because they are but you cant let them stop you being you, maybe you try some gender neutral clothes etc for a bit..
Sorry random rant a bit but I have similar problem and I have 2 brothers 240+ LBS of muscle and have brains that stop me from outing to my aged parents (other posts) - I have more brains but cant use them it seems... too much GD..
Chelsea
my words above are my thoughts but no matter who, if they love you then they will help you to be happy. if they don't then they are self cantered and if possible need to look after themselves more to appreciate you (hard I know and doesn't suit all situations)
Katie
Katie you are exactly right. I hate to say it but mom is worried more about what people will think about her. She has never ask how I feel or anything at all about my feelings. She works at the court house two days a week and has said things like "If the people at the court house finds out about you being transgender then it will be the end of me." and also "You should think about what you are doing to my nerves because what you are doing is wrong." Its a lost battle with her but I'm not budging. She actually talked to Alivia today and ask her to talk to me that the medicine I am taking can kill me. My sister said that mom is trying to change my mind. Never going to happen. This makes it very hard on me because I stay there and take care of her.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea thank you so much for checking in. We've all been worried. As I wrote earlier, I have faith in you and that you will persevere in the end. I understand your therapist is recommending you get out but only do so after you've taken care of critical items in your life. It certainly seems you are. I'm happy your friend was able to offer a job. Our past actions do pay off eventually, and your quality work and work ethic obviously are known. I know you are extremely busy but do take a moment for yourself when you can.
Love to you, Judi
Chelsea, you are doing all the right things and for the right reasons. Your tax burden will be reduced and you have detail work that eventually will help support your family. You are a strong woman and working your butt off and helping others.
Chelsea, I know it hurts not being accepted by your Mom. A lot of woman's clothing is similar to male clothing. To start undergarments are not usually seen. So you can wear them. Jeans and shorts can be worn without too much attention depending on length and tightness. Tops can be andro. Light makeup is not very noticeable as well as clear nail polish. I am not saying this is optimum but it can be a compromise and it counts for letters if that is something you are in pursuit of. Nail polish is something I like abut a lot of woman could not be bothered or wear clear polish.
Perhaps you will never get your mothers approval but she may turn a blind eye to modest expression of your gender. She also may need some education on what HRT is and how it actually can significantly help someone physically, emotionally and mentally. I know I feel so much better being on HRT then not.
The way your are providing and working so many hours you Mom should be proud of you.
Judi and Rachel thank you. Well I have learned today that I do not have the stamina that I did on testosterone, not even close. I haven't been doing any exercise with my arms hoping to help making them look more feminine. The CNC machines I run are pretty simple. After you have the program made and setup your ready to go. Its just a matter of loading material in the machine and wait for them to finish. Now a actually have to do some pretty rough work. I'm very tired and will be doing this every day for a while.
Today I done my first paint correction in 12 years. The car was a black Acura (or we thought it was). This car was scratched up beyond belief. After a little while I discovered that the car was actually blue metallic. I had a very hard time compared to when I done this years earlier. I had to take a few more breaks and drink more because the Spiro dries me out. I'm hoping that after a few weeks of this I will get some of my stamina back.
My friend that owns the shop was very pleased with my work. Working with him during the day gives me someone to talk to and it really helps occupy my mind. Today has helped my depression a lot. I done a little before and after spot on the car just to show how bad it was if any of you are interested. Thanks everyone for the support.
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/ZcLizu2.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/nKwnRlU.jpg)
Chelsea I'm so glad you have found something. The spiro will knock the crap
Out of you if you don't keep up the fluids. I noticed a drop in stamina but if you increase resistance exercises you can offset some of the loss. By December I had noticed a difference with stamina while moving snow. I increase resistance training and by the end of January I wasn't powering out as much or as often
Wow Chelsea! What a difference in the before and after on the paintwork. That is very impressive!
I also noticed a distinct drop in my stamina when my T levels started to drop. I haven't changed anything in my diet or how active I am and my stamina has increased again. I think my body just became used to the new balance of hormones and once the levels stabilised, I started feeling more energetic again.
So happy to see you less depressed. Keep staying strong, you are an inspiration.
Hugs,
Jayne
Thank you Donna and Jayne. I sure hope my stamina increases like it has for you girls. There is no way I can exercise my arms right now. I woke up with them very sore this morning. This is going to make it really difficult at work today for sure. I guess most of this is my fault for not exercising them. I have only been working out my legs 3 days a week and they are looking better, still to skinny but maybe one day I will get them in shape. Again thank you for the reply's.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hi Chelsea,
I haven't written much here, but I am following your thread. I'm sorry for the challenges you're facing, but it sounds like you have a few lifelines out there to help you get past it all, not least being the friends you have here.
My business has taken a hit, too. The manufacturer in Italy I work with has backed way off on selling things in the US due to liability concerns. It's pretty much decimated my business plans. I'm left to falling back on small contract jobs.
I know what you mean about losing stamina and strength. These small jobs mean working out in the hangar instead of in the air conditioned shop. I tried to spend the day out in the 93 degree Florida heat yesterday and after 5 hours I was done for. I also tried to change out the mandrels on my neighbor's tubing bender and realized I'd never be able to lift the big one. I had to give up on it.
But there's not much for it. I'll be back out there again today plugging away at it. It's good to see some progress on the projects, even if it's slow, and there's a paycheck at the end.
Hang in there, Chelsea. We're all on your side.
Stephanie
The car looks great, you're a magician!
As far as stamina, if you stay active it will come back. A bit of time with little activity causes the loss. Don't overdo it and you'll be back to where you want.
Cheers! Judi
Hi Chelsea! Glad to see you back here! Your friend believed in you and saw those super skills of yours! It is amazing to see what you can so with a vehicle that looks so bad!
As far as exercise, I would not worry to much about it for now as you new job is providing enough work for you arm muscles. You could if anything do some cardio work and this will help with your stamina. I think that it is one area that many who are transitioning put off and with the HRT we all take, this can clause issues that we need to work even harder at a later stage.
Keep believing girl! You are strong and know who you are!
Hugs,
Kelly
Hi, Chelsea.
I happy you are back among the employed and are taking care of your mom - even if she cannot accept the "real" you.
I am thinking part of your hydration and stamina problems could be related to Spiro; I am not a doctor but when I was originally put on Spiro, it was as a diuretic to drain fluid from around my heart - problem was it did so everywhere else, too. (It's other effects were just gravy as far as I was concerned!) I felt so weakened and lethargic I asked my doctor who pulled me off of it because my potassium levels went through the roof. He said electrolyte imbalances can lead to some pretty weird effects so at least have a quick chat with your physician.
You are in my thoughts,
Susan
Make sure you are getting enough salt too. Salt and water.
Your work speaks for itself. You are talented.
Dear Chelsea
Im so happy that you have some good stuff coming through, but as you indicate its going to be a hard slog (Im English so look up the slang). Your heart is always stronger than your mind in the end, so go with it. Look after your Mom, as we all try to, but make sure you have your 'me' time as well. Without the 'Me' time you wont end up helping anyone. Go androgynous if needs then full on Chelsea the rest of the time, it helps.
I wish I was there to give you a big sisterly hug, you need one I think.
Take care and keep battling on.
As ever,
Hugz
Katie
:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:
Quote from: Rachel on June 16, 2018, 06:28:35 PM
Make sure you are getting enough salt too. Salt and water.
Your work speaks for itself. You are talented.
I figured out that needed more water when I started waking up in the mornings feeling hung over. I started drinking lots more water and it went away. I hate having to get up to pee a couple times a night though. I always have salt cravings now also. I eat a jar of pickles a week now. lol Thank you for the sweet comments
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Katie Again on June 16, 2018, 07:44:57 PM
Dear Chelsea
Without the 'Me' time you wont end up helping anyone. Go androgynous if needs then full on Chelsea the rest of the time, it helps.
I cant have any "Me" time because I'm stuck in one room of the house. Its terrible.
Hugs,
Chelsea
It can only get better dear. We are all pulling for you.
The salt thing is very strong and has made natchos my primary food group. Lol
I'm terrible on the water thing and should know better. So prone to infections when I get dehydrated and it's the main reason I stopped drinking alcohol. One small drink and I would wake up soooooo hung over.
Quote from: Donna on June 17, 2018, 10:00:55 AM
It can only get better dear. We are all pulling for you.
The salt thing is very strong and has made natchos my primary food group. Lol
I'm terrible on the water thing and should know better. So prone to infections when I get dehydrated and it's the main reason I stopped drinking alcohol. One small drink and I would wake up soooooo hung over.
I haven't had any infections yet as I try to drink a lot now. I stopped drinking alcohol 4 years ago. I drank enough in my 20's and 30's to kill a whale because I was so depressed. I might have a occasional Piña colada or something every blue moon but that's it. Natchos are awesome. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on June 17, 2018, 09:04:35 AM
I cant have any "Me" time because I'm stuck in one room of the house. Its terrible.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Good morning Chelsea! About the 'Me' time: It is possible! A big part of it is attitude and other presentation. I know when I first started my transition, I went with the androgynous thing. I got rid of almost all of my 'male' clothing and purchased female clothing. Most of those clothes came from thrift stores. Jeans and tee's can really work. I probably went for over six months that way before finally saying to heck with it and went full time. Lots of female clothes can work from 'boy friend shirts', jeans, flips, etc. Even runners can be androgynous.
I think if there is a way to do it, you will do it! Even in your one room. Stay the course!
Hugs,
Kelly
Hi Chelsea,
Glad your back girl, cantv see anyone's journey being smooth & I'm glad your made of mentally strong stuff to ride it through. Must be hard with your mom but it's your life and you need to live it, by not going forwards you could end up resenting your mom who your clearly love a lot.
I'm glad your working it means I don't have to sell a kidney for ya now too!! Your paintwork skills look great keep it up.
Soph.
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
Quote from: Chelsea on June 17, 2018, 10:10:32 AM
I haven't had any infections yet as I try to drink a lot now. I stopped drinking alcohol 4 years ago. I drank enough in my 20's and 30's to kill a whale because I was so depressed. I might have a occasional Piña colada or something every blue moon but that's it. Natchos are awesome. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Dear Chelsea... kudos to you for kicking the alcohol habit... as you stated an occasional drink is usually not a problem.
NOW, regarding salt cravings!!!! Welcome to HRT side effects.
For many of us on the Forums we talk about our salt cravings and how we satisfy them. For myself it is Dill Pickles.... I probably go through a jar of pickles every week. OH, and Green Olives. .... not only takes care of the salt cravings but also helps to curb dehydration and the resultant leg cramps.
Thanks for continuing your updates, I am following your transition progress as you share...
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Hi Chelsea! Pickles! I could not get enough pickles! A few days after I stopped the spiro, after my surgery, I stopped having the cravings!
Quite a few years ago, over 20, I stopped drinking, as I could not sleep and it did nothing to dealing with my depression. Over the years since, I still have those feelings but I am now have to deal with them with a clear head. I idea is that I am better able to do so. Some days are better than others.
I remember when you described the time when you and a friend went out and about one day and how happy you were! I recommend that you so do as often as possible. Keeping the happiness in your centre will give you more strength to deal with the challenges of home.
Positive thoughts!
Hugs,
Kelly
Thank you ladies.
Danielle, I was wondering what the heck was up with my legs. At night sometimes they cramp and you can see the muscle moving around. Its kind of weird looking and it hurts. I was thinking I had restless leg syndrome but it might be dehydration so thank you for letting me in on that. I used to hate green olives when I was younger but I am willing to give them another try. The HRT has completely changed my taste for the better and like you I eat a jar of pickles a week now.
Kelly, Me and my girlfriend has been out two times at night. I tried to get all dolled up in the machine shop a few days ago but in 10 minuets I was sweating too much and had to stop. My shop is about 120°F and I only have fans blowing the hot air around. I really would like to go out in the day time but unfortunately that cant happen right now. I hate this sneaking around just because of mom can't accept it.
I'm going to voice therapy number 5 today and feel like I'm wasting her time because I haven't practiced because....... well you all know why.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on June 18, 2018, 12:19:29 PM
Thank you ladies.
Danielle, I was wondering what the heck was up with my legs. At night sometimes they cramp and you can see the muscle moving around. Its kind of weird looking and it hurts. I was thinking I had restless leg syndrome but it might be dehydration so thank you for letting me in on that. I used to hate green olives when I was younger but I am willing to give them another try. The HRT has completely changed my taste for the better and like you I eat a jar of pickles a week now.
Kelly, Me and my girlfriend has been out two times at night. I tried to get all dolled up in the machine shop a few days ago but in 10 minuets I was sweating too much and had to stop. My shop is about 120°F and I only have fans blowing the hot air around. I really would like to go out in the day time but unfortunately that cant happen right now. I hate this sneaking around just because of mom can't accept it.
I'm going to voice therapy number 5 toady and feel like I'm wasting her time because I haven't practiced because....... well you all know why.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Dear Chelsea: If you wake up in the middle of the night and or have leg cramps anytime, I found that for me a very fast way to make them calm down is to drink a few ounces of dill pickle juice... not as bad as it sounds.... the salty taste is very satisfying and the cramps will usually go away within minutes. The green olive juice is even saltier and I have acquired a taste for that as well.
Another home remedy is yellow mustard, I am told that because it is high in Turmeric and Salt that a couple teaspoons of that will help too. I have tried both and both work for me, but I like the pickles solution best.
If you come to my house and look at my pickle jar you might find that most of the juice is gone.... and good luck finding green olives too.
Oh yeah... makeup and sweating are not a good combination.... when overheated like that keep guzzling the water.
OH, I am so glad you are going to voice therapy #5 ... keep on keeping on and I am happy that you are back on your transition path again.
Thank you for posting your update... and please keep them coming.
Hugs,
Danielle
Yes makeup can be difficult in sweat environments! I agree with Danielle re: voice therapy! You may not be practicing as much as you think you should but keep with it. Over time your voice will have made at the adaption that you want.
As far as your Mom, I know that it is difficult and that she will take a long time if ever to change. She is only one person and you have the rest of your life to live. This may sound harsh, and I don't mean for it to sound that way, but you do have a right to live you life. You do spend time away from her and you can take charge of that time. Say strong and believe in who you are!
I really feel for you, and for your struggles! Sending positive thoughts your way!
Hugs,
Kelly.
In addition to salt, you may be deficient in other electrolytes like magnesium and potassium. These are common deficiencies in many people.
Hi Chelsea, it's so good to see you getting yourself back on track with your transition and some work. It's tough living in the same house with someone who doesn't accept you. Don't be disheartened and keep moving forward.
I feel like the odd one out with the salt cravings. I don't seem to have any noticeable cravings from the HRT. Maybe I already had sufficient salt in my diet. I do like pickles though. Make sure to keep yourself well hydrated. With the high heat in your shop and the dehydrating effects of the spiro, you will need extra water.
Keep practicing your voice. I stopped practicing for a while because I overdid it and had a sore croaky voice which took several weeks to return to normal. It's still a little hoarse. Over practice sent me a little backwards instead of forwards. Glad you are keeping your voice therapy lessons.
Hugs,
Jayne
Girls I had the best voice therapy experience today. I am almost over the shyness and being nervous around her finally. I said a few sentences the first time with my therapist and then by myself. She recorded me and ask me what did I think I sounded like to myself before I heard the recording. I was thinking I sounded silly but after I heard the recording It give me the chills. I cannot believe that voice came from me.
I was so happy I instantly teared up. I really have to concentrate on what I'm doing but she told me before long it gets easier and I wont have to think so much about it. I held a 205hz through the sentences and can tell what Chelsea's going to sound like. I have a long way to go but this is the only good news I have had in a while. I wish I could practice more but she told me to limit it to 15 mins a day. Hearing that voice has made me want to practice more. For once this was a really good day, even though I had to skip a few hours of work it was worth it!
Hugs,
Chelsea
Awesome Chelsea! What a great piece of news. You must feel so proud to get these results after only 5 lessons. Limiting the practice is good advice. As I mentioned in my previous post, too much practice can have a negative effect with risk of injuring your voice. I am so proud of you. Well done!
Hugs,
Jayne
Quote from: Chelsea on June 18, 2018, 04:42:03 PM
Girls I had the best voice therapy experience today. I am almost over the shyness and being nervous around her finally. I said a few sentences the first time with my therapist and then by myself. She recorded me and ask me what did I think I sounded like to myself before I heard the recording. I was thinking I sounded silly but after I heard the recording It give me the chills. I cannot believe that voice came from me.
I was so happy I instantly teared up. I really have to concentrate on what I'm doing but she told me before long it gets easier and I wont have to think so much about it. I held a 205hz through the sentences and can tell what Chelsea's going to sound like. I have a long way to go but this is the only good news I have had in a while. I wish I could practice more but she told me to limit it to 15 mins a day. Hearing that voice has made me want to practice more. For once this was a really good day, even though I had to skip a few hours of work it was worth it!
Hugs,
Chelsea
Dear Chelsea: I am so very happy to hear your good news report regarding your voice therapy lesson #5.... and you were so worried that you had not practiced....
Keep up the very good work. Practice, Practice, Practice... it is when you let your guard down or are stressed that it is all too easy to slip back into your old male voice. Practice to the point that speaking in your new voice comes naturally and eventually you may find it more difficult to speak in your old male voice.
Keep up the good work and keep your good reports coming. Nice for you to write about and nice for us to read.
Hugs,
Danielle
Yes! Way to go Chelsea! Stick with it! Fifteen minutes a day can be easily found. Even in the car! You can do this, girl!
Wonderful news Chelsea! Confidence is sexy. Keep at it.
Judi
So happy that things are finally looking up for you, Chelsea.
Even though you were unable to practise, the voice therapy went really well.
Keep going; I know you can!
Hugs
Pamela
I have a question for you girls. When you first started transitioning did you want to meet another trans person?
I mean in the flesh, face to face. I have a friend that lives near me that transitioned over 3 years ago and I have not seen her sense. We talk on facebook a lot but we can never seem to meet up because of our crazy schedules. I just wanted to sit down and talk to someone that has been through or is going through the same things as me. I know I have all of you to talk to but its not the same.
Before anyone says anything about support groups......I am shy and do not or will not do the group thing. Trust me my therapist has tried to get me to go more than once. lol She also emailed a girl from my town and had me email her. After I did she sent one email back and never answered me again. That was two weeks ago. I also searched FB and its just a bunch of BS.
I managed to get a little Chelsea time this morning in the shop. This is the first time in almost two weeks. I know I am silly but a girl has to make time somewhere. I feel like I'm in prison and only get a few minuets a week to be me. Danielle I know you are here somewhere.... I managed to take a few pics of me running machines for your sweaty pic thing you are doing. lol ...I managed to work for an hour or so before the heat got to me. I so really wish I could do this everyday even if it is silly it makes me happy. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/X5bcXmR.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/dnnUR5Z.jpg)
Yes, I have an intense desire to associate with others going through the same thing as myself. I have found my support group immensely helpful and is one of the few places that I am utterly and completely confident in my presentation as a woman. I feel like I am in a no judgement zone when there. Of course, I wouldn't have to go dressed up either, but I always do...it is one of my few outlets.
Afterwards we always go out and get coffee which is another outlet for me to build my confidence in public as there is safety in numbers. I find it waaay easier to be out and about with other people than just by myself. This past Sunday our support meeting was 2 hours but the coffee session afterwards was 4 hours!!! I really had a blast talking and comparing notes.
I met a young woman who has fully transitioned (surgeries and everything) and meeting and seeing her and her outcome just made me feel so good, like there is hope for me.
Chelsea, I am not telling you that you should go if you are uncomfortable, but I am telling you that I get A LOT out of going and for me it is so worthwhile!
Love,
Julie
Quote from: JulieAllana on June 19, 2018, 12:11:22 PM
Yes, I have an intense desire to associate with others going through the same thing as myself. I have found my support group immensely helpful and is one of the few places that I am utterly and completely confident in my presentation as a woman. I feel like I am in a no judgement zone when there. Of course, I wouldn't have to go dressed up either, but I always do...it is one of my few outlets.
Afterwards we always go out and get coffee which is another outlet for me to build my confidence in public as there is safety in numbers. I find it waaay easier to be out and about with other people than just by myself. This past Sunday our support meeting was 2 hours but the coffee session afterwards was 4 hours!!! I really had a blast talking and comparing notes.
I met a young woman who has fully transitioned (surgeries and everything) and meeting and seeing her and her outcome just made me feel so good, like there is hope for me.
Chelsea, I am not telling you that you should go if you are uncomfortable, but I am telling you that I get A LOT out of going and for me it is so worthwhile!
Love,
Julie
I really wish it was that easy for me but I can't. My blood pressure would be through the roof before I got there.
I don't really have anxiety but in that case it would be really bad. Just thinking about it kicks my nerves up.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on June 19, 2018, 12:02:40 PM
I have a question for you girls. When you first started transitioning did you want to meet another trans person?
I mean in the flesh, face to face. I have a friend that lives near me that transitioned over 3 years ago and I have not seen her sense. We talk on facebook a lot but we can never seem to meet up because of our crazy schedules. I just wanted to sit down and talk to someone that has been through or is going through the same things as me. I know I have all of you to talk to but its not the same.
Before anyone says anything about support groups......I am shy and do not or will not do the group thing. Trust me my therapist has tried to get me to go more than once. lol She also emailed a girl from my town and had me email her. After I did she sent one email back and never answered me again. That was two weeks ago. I also searched FB and its just a bunch of BS.
I managed to get a little Chelsea time this morning in the shop. This is the first time in almost two weeks. I know I am silly but a girl has to make time somewhere. I feel like I'm in prison and only get a few minuets a week to be me. Danielle I know you are here somewhere.... I managed to take a few pics of me running machines for your sweaty pic thing you are doing. lol ...I managed to work for an hour or so before the heat got to me. I so really wish I could do this everyday even if it is silly it makes me happy. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/X5bcXmR.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/dnnUR5Z.jpg)
Dear Chelsea: Yes indeed, I am around here somewhere. I am always looking for and looking forward to following your thread and reading your latest updates.
I am so glad that you are working your job and making a big effort to overcome your difficulties... thank you for keeping us all updated as you have time, but only if you have time...
... as my dad always told me "Work is the yeast that raises the dough"
As I had mentioned to
Ellie @Roll on her thread when she mentioned a similar situation, just being there with your trans-friend, intently listening and also sharing your experiences is very good therapy for both of you. If you feel uncomfortable being with her for whatever reason... you can keep the relationship online, on the phone, or if you do meet you can keep it at arms length, perhaps having a coffee or casual lunch... and be very careful with your hormonal induced emotions....
here I am again being the "hormone police" as one of my followers said about me!! LOLI love your "hot and sweaty" pictures although I don't see any sweat... just a hot young woman!!!
I am having difficulty so far getting started on my "Hot and Sweaty" picture montage... but your picture or pictures will be in it if and when I get it up and running, hopefully this summer.
Thank you for taking care of your followers and readers by posting your updates again... please, even if you are having difficulties (we all do have difficulties) please don't go "silent" ... it would again cause all of us here great concern. You obviously are able to take a break for however long you must, but please post such a notice so that we won't worry as much.
Hugs and well wishes as always...
Danielle
Hi Girlfriend,
I am glad you got a bit of "me" time in, in the shop today. As usual you are looking great. Support group are a mixed bunch. Some of the are good. Some of them are fun. Some are both and some are neither. I went to one once and for me the negatives of going outweighed the positives. I have not been back to that one yet nor have I been to another.
On the subject of meeting another transwoman, I highly recommend it. For me the experience has bee great. But keep in mind that I knew all these other women before meeting them. well most of them at any rate. I am up to 37 I think now and all have been good to meet and spend time with.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Chelsea on June 19, 2018, 12:02:40 PM
I have a question for you girls. When you first started transitioning did you want to meet another trans person?
I definitely did. It took 10 months to do so, but I finally did by pure luck courtesy of my recent lack of filter on coming out to random people, and it was everything I was hoping it be. The sense of instant connection and community even with the two of us both painfully socially awkward was incredible.
Quote from: Roll on June 19, 2018, 01:43:10 PM
I definitely did. It took 10 months to do so, but I finally did by pure luck courtesy of my recent lack of filter on coming out to random people, and it was everything I was hoping it be. The sense of instant connection and community even with the two of us both painfully socially awkward was incredible.
Ellie, thank you for replying to my thread. I hope I am lucky enough to meet someone to talk to like you. I have tried but so far every attempt did nothing.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on June 19, 2018, 12:02:40 PM
I have a question for you girls. When you first started transitioning did you want to meet another trans person?
I mean in the flesh, face to face. I have a friend that lives near me that transitioned over 3 years ago and I have not seen her sense. We talk on facebook a lot but we can never seem to meet up because of our crazy schedules. I just wanted to sit down and talk to someone that has been through or is going through the same things as me. I know I have all of you to talk to but its not the same.
Before anyone says anything about support groups......I am shy and do not or will not do the group thing. Trust me my therapist has tried to get me to go more than once. lol She also emailed a girl from my town and had me email her. After I did she sent one email back and never answered me again. That was two weeks ago. I also searched FB and its just a bunch of BS.
I managed to get a little Chelsea time this morning in the shop. This is the first time in almost two weeks. I know I am silly but a girl has to make time somewhere. I feel like I'm in prison and only get a few minuets a week to be me. Danielle I know you are here somewhere.... I managed to take a few pics of me running machines for your sweaty pic thing you are doing. lol ...I managed to work for an hour or so before the heat got to me. I so really wish I could do this everyday even if it is silly it makes me happy. [emoji4]
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/X5bcXmR.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/dnnUR5Z.jpg)
Hiya Chelsea!
It took me a long time to meet another trans person face to face. Nearly 3 years after I first realised I might be trans and started therapy. Support groups are not for everybody. I agree that an online friendship is not the same as a face to face personal friendship. Sounds like you get on well with this Facebook friend. Keep trying to meet up with her. You already have an established friendship so meeting in person should not be a problem from an anxiety point of view.
So glad you are able to get a little Chelsea time. You are looking awesome, as usual! I know the feeling of being in prison when you can't be yourself. It is really hard. Keep giving yourself some Chelsea's time whenever you have an opportunity and if possible, try doing some little things to express your femininity.
Safety police!!! Are you operating the machines with your hair as it is in the photos? It may only be a wig now, but someday it will be your real hair and I would hate for a machine to suck you in by the hair. I hope I'm not being an over protective grandma! [emoji23]
One other thing.....did you flip the photos horizontally (mirror image), or is it the selfie camera on your phone that automatically flips the image?
So happy and proud of you the way you are working so hard to overcome your difficulties.
(((Big hug)))
Jayne
Quote from: Jayne01 on June 19, 2018, 05:09:42 PM
Safety police!!! Are you operating the machines with your hair as it is in the photos? It may only be a wig now, but someday it will be your real hair and I would hate for a machine to suck you in by the hair. I hope I'm not being an over protective grandma! [emoji23]
I think she's safe. The cutting tool is inside the closed cabinet behind her. One of the reason for the cabinet would be safety however it also keeps the cutting oil from splashing all over the place.
Quote from: Dena on June 19, 2018, 05:48:08 PM
I think she's safe. The cutting tool is inside the closed cabinet behind her. One of the reason for the cabinet would be safety however it also keeps the cutting oil from splashing all over the place.
Yeah I know. I was just thinking of safe work practices, it comes from working 25 years in the airline industry maintaining aircraft. Can never be too safe.
Quote from: Jayne01 on June 19, 2018, 05:55:35 PM
Yeah I know. I was just thinking of safe work practices, it comes from working 25 years in the airline industry maintaining aircraft. Can never be too safe.
Dena is correct. Also the doors lock while the machine is running. I do have some manual machines also but buy the time I have enough money for a hair transplant those machine will be antiques will holes rusted in them.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea, you're looking good, and that is one serious machine you have!
I had never met a transgender person and my therapist recommended a small group nearby. I was terrified and it was a little awkward at first. I still go every now and then, but I found another larger group further away that I really enjoy. The people are great. I stay in touch with a couple people outside of the meetings. There is a FB group but I don't do FB.
Try to connect your old friend to rekindle the friendship and give the new, local person another shoot out. Relationships take time.
You sound good and it seems things are looking up little by little.
Judi
At first I felt that I didn't need to meet other trans women or lgbt in general. But after getting involved with a new church that is open and affirming, I realized how wrong I was. The more I'm around affirming people the more I'm ok with being trans and the more my transphobia/homophobia goes away. I'm with you though in that the support group thing is not my thing. All kinds of people tell me that I need to go but I'm not ready yet or I'll just never be ready.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote from: Chelsea on June 19, 2018, 12:02:40 PM
I have a question for you girls. When you first started transitioning did you want to meet another trans person?
I did want to meet a trans person after I realized what is going on. There was just never a time for me to go to the local trans support group, so I ended up meeting and talking to the first trans person at a LGBT picnic of our local school district over a year later. Then another 6 months until I attended a holiday gathering at one of our local (and very supportive) churches. Then
@Megan. and
@Laurie. I am sure I have seen more but never interacted. There are still many here on Susan's I would like to meet in person one day.
Maybe... since I talk to myself every now and then... Does it count as talking to a trans person? ;D
Quote from: sarah1972 on June 20, 2018, 06:28:04 PM
Maybe... since I talk to myself every now and then... Does it count as talking to a trans person? ;D
Actually talking to yourself is supposed to be the first sign of madness.......LOL - and I do it often... ::)
I have really wanted to get in contact with and meet with other transgirls in person lately, I've been looking up support groups to go along to ( ditto -don't really like groups so much, much prefer one on one ) in the hope of meeting a new friend or 2 that I can relate to.
@Chelsea - I'm really glad that things have brightened up for you, even a little bit is excellent - I'm sure most of us relish any and all of our small victories.
Take care always,
Sonja X
I had a really awesome day. It started out normal with work until I got a phone call from HAAS (The company that I pay monthly for one of my cnc machines.) I was scared to death because I am already 8 days late on my machine payment, or at least I thought it was late. The guy was wanting to know when I was going to pay the remaining $200 for this month. I should owe about $1300 so something wasn't right. I always pay over the machine payment to make it even and I have accumulated a few hundred dollars that I didn't know about in the last two years. I only had to pay $200 and I am caught up until next month! I am not out of the woods by no means but this gives me time to pay back my friend and start saving money for next month early.
So what did I do? I took the rest of the day off. I know I should be working but, I have already worked 60 hours this week and its only Thursday. I think I deserve it. It must have been luck that I took mom to work this morning because I had to use the car today. I made another small step and went out in the car as Chelsea except this is the first time out in the day. Me and Alivia drove to the lake. It was beautiful and I actually got out and walked around. There was only a few other people there but I didn't park next to them. I still get really nervous, especially when getting out of the car and it took me a few minuets. Alivia tried to get me to hit the drive through again on the way home ::) I might have if I had my female voice.
Something I wanted to ask you girls. Sense the earliest of memories I have always felt weird around pretty girls. Its hard to explain. Its a like a jealous feeling I guess of because I don't look like they do or I'm not them. Sense being on HRT this has gotten a lot worse. I have seen a few good looking women that actually threw me into a bad depression more than once these past two months. Today While at the lake I seen another good looking girl and I could feel those feelings coming very strong. Have any of you heard of this or am I just crazy? I got back in the car and talked myself out of it with the help of my girlfriend. I plan on talking to my therapist about it but just wanted to know if this is normal to a trans person? Today was the worst I'm guessing because I was dressed as Chelsea but I was in tears. I'm fine now but I hope I can get over this or I'm going to have a really hard time in public. I think some of it comes from the fear of not knowing what I'm going to look like in the future. Thank all of you for reading this mess of a post but I hate felling like that and wondered what your thoughts are on this.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on June 21, 2018, 04:07:05 PM
I had a really awesome day. It started out normal with work until I got a phone call from HAAS (The company that I pay monthly for one of my cnc machines.) I was scared to death because I am already 8 days late on my machine payment, or at least I thought it was late. The guy was wanting to know when I was going to pay the remaining $200 for this month. I should owe about $1300 so something wasn't right. I always pay over the machine payment to make it even and I have accumulated a few hundred dollars that I didn't know about in the last two years. I only had to pay $200 and I am caught up until next month! I am not out of the woods by no means but this gives me time to pay back my friend and start saving money for next month early.
So what did I do? I took the rest of the day off. I know I should be working but, I have already worked 60 hours this week and its only Thursday. I think I deserve it. It must have been luck that I took mom to work this morning because I had to use the car today. I made another small step and went out in the car as Chelsea except this is the first time out in the day. Me and Alivia drove to the lake. It was beautiful and I actually got out and walked around. There was only a few other people there but I didn't park next to them. I still get really nervous, especially when getting out of the car and it took me a few minuets. Alivia tried to get me to hit the drive through again on the way home ::) I might have if I had my female voice.
Something I wanted to ask you girls. Sense the earliest of memories I have always felt weird around pretty girls. Its hard to explain. Its a like a jealous feeling I guess of because I don't look like they do or I'm not them. Sense being on HRT this has gotten a lot worse. I have seen a few good looking women that actually threw me into a bad depression more than once these past two months. Today While at the lake I seen another good looking girl and I could feel those feelings coming very strong. Have any of you heard of this or am I just crazy? I got back in the car and talked myself out of it with the help of my girlfriend. I plan on talking to my therapist about it but just wanted to know if this is normal to a trans person? Today was the worst I'm guessing because I was dressed as Chelsea but I was in tears. I'm fine now but I hope I can get over this or I'm going to have a really hard time in public. I think some of it comes from the fear of not knowing what I'm going to look like in the future. Thank all of you for reading this mess of a post but I hate felling like that and wondered what your thoughts are on this.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hi Chelsea,
Great news with your machine payments. That must have come as a very pleasant surprise to you, discovering you only owe a fraction of this month's payments than you thought. You absolutely deserved to take the rest of the day off. You work very hard, giving yourself a well deserved treat once in a while is good for your self esteem.
Congratulations on your first day outing as Chelsea. Each time gets easier than the last until eventually you will just do it without thinking about it.
The feeling you describe when seeing other women is not uncommon. I have experienced the same thing. I found that when I am out in public as Jayne and interacting with other people, that dysphoric feeling goes away. The times I have to present male, the feeling is very strong, because I am knowingly hiding my true self. In other words, the more you spend time as your true self, going about your day doing normal everyday things, the more normal you feel and the feelings you describe are just not there.
My thoughts are that today felt very bad for you because even though you were dressed as Chelsea, it was your first time out during the day and you felt very self conscious and nervous about it all. The nervousness overshadowed the comfort of being your true self. It will feel better the next time. You have nothing to worry about regarding how you will look in the future. You are beautiful! As the hormones continue to work, your feminine appearance will only continue to improve. As you start believing in yourself more, you become more confident being out in public. Definitely discuss this with your therapist at your next appointment, but I don't think you have anything to worry about. It all sounds very normal to me.
I am so happy for you. This latest post from you was full of wonderful news.
Hugs,
Jayne
Great news Chelsea. Paying yourself ahead has come to good for you.
I used to get down about seeing nice looking women but no more. I feel good about myself now. I think you'll get past this too. I'm glad to hear you went out with Alivia and took a walk. Good for the soul! Also a good time to practice movements as women tend to get in and out of the car different than men, a little slower and gentler. Watch the legs. I tend to sit and swing both legs in, doing the opposite to get out.
This post was not a mess, just a diary post that only your "close" friends can see. Thanks for sharing.
Judi
Quote from: JudiBlueEyes on June 21, 2018, 08:33:57 PM
Great news Chelsea. Paying yourself ahead has come to good for you.
I used to get down about seeing nice looking women but no more. I feel good about myself now. I think you'll get past this too. I'm glad to hear you went out with Alivia and took a walk. Good for the soul! Also a good time to practice movements as women tend to get in and out of the car different than men, a little slower and gentler. Watch the legs. I tend to sit and swing both legs in, doing the opposite to get out.
This post was not a mess, just a diary post that only your "close" friends can see. Thanks for sharing.
Judi
I hope I get over it but it seems to be getting worse not better. It was worse as Chelsea. When I'm my old self its still there but not bad enough to bring tears. Think I'm just all mess up.
Good news today! Your comparison thoughts, etc. are pretty common, if not normal. Your journey will have both ups and downs. The key is to look at the long haul. Each of those lows will pass and will be replaced by good experiences and a better self image. I really believe that you can do it because you have overcome so much and have shown so much strength.
So good to see you get out with your friend. As suggested, this is a great time to practice! Not just feminine behaviours but your voice. Where better to do so! You are with your friend who is supportive of you. Keep walking along your path!
Hugs,
Kelly
Quote from: Chelsea on June 21, 2018, 08:40:49 PM
I hope I get over it but it seems to be getting worse not better. It was worse as Chelsea. When I'm my old self its still there but not bad enough to bring tears. Think I'm just all mess up.
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea I have carefully read all of your recent update posts and also the replies from your readers and followers.... and I can not see why you think that things are getting worse and not better. Bear in mind that being Chelsea is a brand new experience for you... as your old-self you knew yourself well and your old-self knew how to deal with your feelings.... so you need to give it some time so Chelsea will get to know herself. The feelings that you have described are normal, or at least they were normal for me early in my transition. Trust me, in a few months, maybe a year or so, and certainly when you go full time you will feel very comfortable being Chelsea around pretty women, hot men, and anyone else.
Don't think for a minute that I wasn't nervous as I described in my "Hunted Prey" thread when I went on my dates with my suitors.... cis-men and cis-women... at one point in those dates I almost wet myself I was so nervous especially when hand holding, hugging and kissing were involved, but I am finally beyond that now, so rest assured, your feelings that you described are indeed normal and will pass with practice, more HRT, and more time and more experience being Chelsea.
Oh, and to change the subject... that was sure great news about the money regarding your HAAS machine payment.... it was a wonderful and unexpected blessing for you.
All in all, I am seeing your recent postings as good news... perhaps with some growing pains, but certainly good news.
Thank you for keeping us all up to date, I always look forward to checking your thread whenever I log into Susan's.
Many HUGS,
Danielle
Quote from: Chelsea on June 21, 2018, 08:40:49 PM
I hope I get over it but it seems to be getting worse not better. It was worse as Chelsea. When I'm my old self its still there but not bad enough to bring tears. Think I'm just all mess up.
You're not messed up. This is a normal reaction. As Danielle said in her reply, being Chelsea is a brand new experience for you. The old you had many years to grow up and find a way to integrate into the world. In comparison, Chelsea has had mere seconds. Give yourself some time. This in between stage, spending some time as Chelsea and some time as your old self, is a rough part of the journey. I am only a little ahead of you with being Jayne out in public and I experience similar feelings to you. It gets easier, much easier. Each time you are out as Chelsea, you will achieve another small milestone and you become more and more confident and less bothered by how other people look.
You are doing great!
Hugs,
Jayne
Danielle is correct. This phase will pass and at some point it will all be OK. You'll look back and wonder what all the fuss was about. It's time for this butterfly to slowly break free of her cocoon.
Judi
Trust me, you're not alone Chelsea. It gets harder being in between, but I think it will be temporary for both of us. I'm doing my best to look forward to the future, but it gets rough. I have faith in you, you're beautiful and sweet, and I think that in the end we will both find the peace and happiness we are looking for.
Everyone has said post good or bad so here goes. I think my thread is becoming more bad than good. I got up today in a great mood. The tax guy called me and said my papers are ready to mail. I really needed to get these in the mail so I had to go pay the guy. When I get there my bank card would not work so, I had to leave while he waited and go to the bank to get cash. When I get to the bank It was closed because they was repainting the outside of the building. I went to the Wiegle's across the street to get cash from a atm. There are two atm's and people on both. I waited in line and they both finish about the same time. When I get to the atm little miss perfect body just so happens to walk up on the one next to me and this happened. I immediately started feeling like a piece of trash on the street. I didn't even get my money from the machine and just left. I didn't make it to the car before tears were running down my face. I know these feelings are not normal. Not to the degree I have. So I'm sitting here telling all of you and don't even know why. I cant work feeling this depressed. I told Alivia that she might need to do the errands in the car for a while because I really can't take much more suffering over something so stupid. I would rather sit here for a year than to feel these feelings I'm having right now. I still believe that I'm all messed up in the head.
Quote from: Chelsea on June 25, 2018, 01:21:01 PM
Everyone has said post good or bad so here goes. I think my thread is becoming more bad than good. I got up today in a great mood. The tax guy called me and said my papers are ready to mail. I really needed to get these in the mail so I had to go pay the guy. When I get there my bank card would not work so, I had to leave while he waited and go to the bank to get cash. When I get to the bank It was closed because they was repainting the outside of the building. I went to the Wiegle's across the street to get cash from a atm. There are two atm's and people on both. I waited in line and they both finish about the same time. When I get to the atm little miss perfect body just so happens to walk up on the one next to me and this happened. I immediately started feeling like a piece of trash on the street. I didn't even get my money from the machine and just left. I didn't make it to the car before tears were running down my face. I know these feelings are not normal. Not to the degree I have. So I'm sitting here telling all of you and don't even know why. I cant work feeling this depressed. I told Alivia that she might need to do the errands in the car for a while because I really can't take much more suffering over something so stupid. I would rather sit here for a year than to feel these feelings I'm having right now. I still believe that I'm all messed up in the head.
Well...
Chelsea... everything you said is very normal when you are beginning HRT and just starting to venture out as
Chelsea.
I did not read where you said that she clocked you or that she made some disparaging comment to you when she saw you.... so I am assuming that those things did not happen.
Basically, you have suck it up so you have more self-assurance and confidence when venturing out and be prepared for comments and stares ... and then IGNORE THEM and go on with your business, or just smile and hold your head high and walk proudly away.
Every where you go, even later on when you start passing the majority of the time, you will find lots of "little miss perfect bodies" and "big masculine good looking hunks". .... and depending on how you dress and how you move and how the HRT is helping you, you may be looked at as
miss perfect body by those that are experiencing what you are now.
Hopefully you finally got the money and credit card issues taken care of and your tax stuff is in the mail... that is a big relief I am sure....
So anyway
Chelsea, you have lots to be thankful for....
Thank you for your update.
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on June 25, 2018, 01:57:37 PM
Well... Chelsea
Basically, you have suck it up so you have more self-assurance and confidence when venturing out and be prepared for comments and stares
This will never work. Suck it up? These are real feelings and I cant have any self assurance when I look like I do. I still present male you know and even as Chelsea I will never look like that. If you seen me in person you would know.
Ah, the comparison game. You're not alone. Even "miss perfect body" (MPB) is looking at other women and wishing she had x. Two Miss Perfect Bodies will look at each other with envy. It is human nature to crave what you don't have. There are people here on this site no doubt looking at your picture and saying wistfully "if only...sigh...".
We all deal with this, and women most of all because of all the unrealistic and contradictory beauty standards in the media.
It's in the mindset where peace and satisfaction are found. If we start by focusing on our strengths, enjoying them, and looking for evidence that supports this (rather than evidence of our inadequacy), we will slowly build a self-confidence that lasts.
Happiness comes from within, whether or not you are in the MPB club or not. If you asked them, you'd find much the same issues with them as well.
I'm sorry your day was so overwhelming. That happens sometimes. Regroup, ground, and begin again, no judgements, no guilt, no shame. It's all good, and you've got this.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote from: Chelsea on June 25, 2018, 02:05:16 PM
This will never work. Suck it up? These are real feelings and I cant have any self assurance when I look like I do. I still present male you know and even as Chelsea I will never look like that. If you seen me in person you would know.
Chelsea, Of COURSE your feelings are real.... I never doubted that for a minute. All of us have feelings that can be very difficult to overcome and to deal with and having unwanted bad feelings about our failure may keep us from going forward with our transition plans and other life plans... and those plans are something that needs to be successfully done once we are serious about our decision.
I have feelings all the time about things going on in my life and about possible failure... we all have them....
>>early on before I went full time when I stepped out as Danielle I was clocked numerous times and endured comments stares and nasty looks..... months ago just beginning to date, if I didn't overcome the bad feelings about failure that I had about it I would have never experienced the joy of being accepted as a woman that someone would want to date....
>>and remember what happened with my
suitor #1 and the bad negative reaction I got from his woman friend while in the coffee shop.... even though before that happened I had lived in this town for over a year and a had successfully as a woman... and had just came out ... it was a shock to the townspeople and I only had a few negative reactions.... what did I do? I ignored it the best that I could and went on with my life as Danielle. In that distasteful event I pleasantly experienced overwhelming support and acceptance for just about everyone else.
>>Also months ago my first venture into the women's gym locker room was very frightening and upsetting but I grit my teeth and did it anyway being prepared as much as I could possibly be for the worst to happen.... and fortunately nothing bad happened, but if it did, I would continue on and try it again learning some lessons in that possible failure.
So, my dear
Chelsea, I obviously am rooting for you and I am one of many of your faithful fans...
... please keep keeping on.
Love ya girl,
HUGS...
Danielle
Quote from: Chelsea on June 25, 2018, 02:05:16 PM
This will never work. Suck it up? These are real feelings and I cant have any self assurance when I look like I do. I still present male you know and even as Chelsea I will never look like that. If you seen me in person you would know.
Chelsea, I am sorry that "miss perfect body" triggered your dysphoria so badly. The feelings you are having are very normal, not only for trans women but for cis women as well. If you go out to a crowded public place and just sit down and "people watch" for a while, you will see that there are actually not that many women that fit into the perfect body stereotype. Women come in all shapes and sizes and although you are not seeing it, you are very beautiful. There would be many cis and trans women who would love to look even half as good as you do.
If it makes you feel better, what you are feeling is typically very female. Women since the beginning of time have had body image issues, wanting to look like the "perfect body girl" down the street. Welcome to the club. [emoji4]
Your feelings are very real and I will respect them. The goal here is to find enough self assurance to look beyond your flaws. We all have flaws and these flaws are magnified through our own eyes. Every single one of us is our own worst critic. I think what Danielle is trying to say by telling you to "suck it up" is that you need to get to a place where you don't look so closely at each and every imperfection, instead, take a step back and look at yourself as a whole package. Find what you do like about yourself. You really do look beautiful and I am not just saying that to make you feel better.
You will get through this.
(((((Hug)))))
Jayne
Dear Chelsea, please check out this thread titled "Indecisiveness"
---> https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,184360.0.html
Go back to the very first posting and read what the OP had to say and then look at the susequent comments by other members... I think that it could be a big help to you right now.
It is not a long thread, just 18 posts so you can read the entire thing fairly quickly.
I do hope that you soon get to a happy place with your transition progress. You deserve that for sure.
HUGS and well wishes as always,
Danielle
Quote from: Mikaela on June 25, 2018, 02:19:58 PM
Happiness comes from within, whether or not you are in the MPB club or not.
This is the part I'm trying really hard to find. Surly I will find my place in all this soon I hope. Thank you for replying to my thread.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on June 25, 2018, 02:05:16 PM
This will never work. Suck it up? These are real feelings and I cant have any self assurance when I look like I do. I still present male you know and even as Chelsea I will never look like that. If you seen me in person you would know.
Alright Chelsea,
Enough of that nonsense. You stop it right now. Do you hear me? I said stop it! You are acting just like the young teenage girl you are now that those hormones are working. "I am sooo ugly" "I will never be a pretty girl" "that girl is soo pretty" "I will never be like her" " No one will ever love me" "I look horrible". Sound familiar?
I have heard it all before. I had 5 sisters and a daughter, remember? I've lived through this scenario many times. It is what sells ALL THOSE beauty products. Products that promise to make you that "Miss Perfect" body or appearance. Billions are spent by us women every year in that elusive quest to be "her". Almost all of us will never be that beauty. Not now and not ever. We have to make the best of what we are given and girl you have more of it than a whole lot of women trans or cis. Where you fail, Hun, is in realizing this and accepting the gifts you do have. We make do with what we have. That Hun is just the facts of life for all of us. We can crawl back into our closets or we can learn to be who we are and join all the other women out there that are not perfect. You are young. You are pretty. And you are a woman. You are who you are and you can learn to live as Chelsea or you can torment yourself and never be who you are meant to be ... Chelsea! Other women will be prettier, and others will not, but none of them will be Chelsea. Be proud of that, be proud of who you are. Be Chelsea.
Hugs for you girl,
Laurie
Quote from: Jayne01 on June 25, 2018, 02:26:01 PM
Chelsea, I am sorry that "miss perfect body" triggered your dysphoria so badly.
I have always had these feelings sense puberty but they never was that bad. I would just shrug it off and tell myself everything would be ok and usually I was fine. Its a lot more intense sense starting hrt. I'm just half way through the 3rd month so hopefully these crazy emotions I'm having will chill out soon. Really the dysphoria is all that bugs me sometimes. I need one of those things they put on horses to keep them from looking around. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Laurie on June 25, 2018, 05:52:21 PM
Alright Chelsea,
Enough of that nonsense. You stop it right now. Do you hear me? I said stop it! You are acting just like the young teenage girl you are now that those hormones are working. "I am sooo ugly" "I will never be a pretty girl" "that girl is soo pretty" "I will never be like her" " No one will ever love me" "I look horrible". Sound familiar?
I have heard it all before. I had 5 sisters and a daughter, remember? I've lived through this scenario many times. It is what sells ALL THOSE beauty products. Products that promise to make you that "Miss Perfect" body or appearance. Billions are spent by us women every year in that elusive quest to be "her". Almost all of us will never be that beauty. Not now and not ever. We have to make the best of what we are given and girl you have more of it than a whole lot of women trans or cis. Where you fail, Hun, is in realizing this and accepting the gifts you do have. We make do with what we have. That Hun is just the facts of life for all of us. We can crawl back into our closets or we can learn to be who we are and join all the other women out there that are not perfect. You are young. You are pretty. And you are a woman. You are who you are and you can learn to live as Chelsea or you can torment yourself and never be who you are meant to be ... Chelsea! Other women will be prettier, and others will not, but none of them will be Chelsea. Be proud of that, be proud of who you are. Be Chelsea.
Hugs for you girl,
Laurie
Easy Laurie. Don't come down here to give be a butt kicking when you and many others told me to post what I was feeling good or bad. I can't help the feelings I get from seeing other girls mixed with the "why didn't do this years ago" feelings is rough. I will find my happy place in this, it just not going to be today. Next time I won't post about it.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on June 25, 2018, 05:53:58 PM
I have always had these feelings sense puberty but they never was that bad. I would just shrug it off and tell myself everything would be ok and usually I was fine. Its a lot more intense sense starting hrt. I'm just half way through the 3rd month so hopefully these crazy emotions I'm having will chill out soon. Really the dysphoria is all that bugs me sometimes. I need one of those things they put on horses to keep them from looking around. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea, you don't need horse blinders. You can, and should, look around to enjoy this beautiful world. As Laurie said (oh dear! I am about to agree with that woman again [emoji23] ), the HRT is turning you into a teenager again. The joys of going through a second puberty while we realign the hormones in our bodies. The advantage you have over an actual teenager is that to now have age maturity. Use some of that maturity and knowledge to remind yourself of what is happening to your body with the hormones. If you had a 15 year old sister now who you could see as being very pretty, but she kept looking at other girls convincing herself that she will never look pretty enough, what advice would you give her? Give that same advice to yourself. You currently have a 15 year old Chelsea (due to the hormones) inside of you that could use some guidance. You are also an older much more mature Chelsea that can provide that guidance to yourself.
Hang in there, this is a temporary phase.
Hugs,
Jayne
Quote from: Chelsea on June 25, 2018, 06:02:00 PM
Easy Laurie. Don't come down here to give be a butt kicking when you and many others told me to post what I was feeling good or bad. I can't help the feelings I get from seeing other girls mixed with the "why didn't do this years ago" feelings is rough. I will find my happy place in this, it just not going to be today. Next time I won't post about it.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Keep posting everything Chelsea. Your feelings are very normal. I am also going through a "why didn't I do his years ago" phase. It will pass and you will find a way to not worry about what could have been and focus on what is and what can be in the future.
You can't help the feeling you have from entering your mind, what you can do is is learn to control how these feeling affect your mood. We will help you through this, so please don't stop posting the good and the bad.
Hugs,
Jayne
Quote from: Chelsea on June 25, 2018, 06:02:00 PM
Easy Laurie. Don't come down here to give be a butt kicking when you and many others told me to post what I was feeling good or bad. I can't help the feelings I get from seeing other girls mixed with the "why didn't do this years ago" feelings is rough. I will find my happy place in this, it just not going to be today. Next time I won't post about it.
Hugs,
Chelsea
You miss my point Chelsea. It wasn't to tell you you can't have an post these feelings. No not that at all. It is to tell you that it is normal to feel this way. It is aggravated by hormones too. But we all have these kind of feelings to deal with and you can let the eat at you or you can chose to accept them as a normal part of the process and join the rest of the female gender and learn to see them as normal and move forward with your life. I and everyone else here want to help you do this. Keep posting what bothers you so we can help you through them.
Hope that clarified my post some. I was saying pull up your big girl panties and go on being Chelsea.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Chelsea on June 25, 2018, 06:02:00 PM
Easy Laurie. Don't come down here to give be a butt kicking when you and many others told me to post what I was feeling good or bad. I can't help the feelings I get from seeing other girls mixed with the "why didn't do this years ago" feelings is rough. I will find my happy place in this, it just not going to be today. Next time I won't post about it.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea, Chelsea, Dear Chelsea.....
Neither I ... @Jayne01 ... @Laurie nor anyone else have given you a "butt kicking" ... we were trying as hard as we know how to encourage you to get on with being yourself and continue to overcome the difficulties in your transition and other life problems as you have so successfully done previously.....
...
and YES dear Chelsea, please continue to post the good and the bad.
Your caring readers want to know so we can be by your side and support you through thick and thin. We are naturally concerned for your well being and for your success with your transition, your business, and all of your relationships, family and otherwise. Please don't cheat us out of giving you the support that we desire to give.
Love ya girl,
Hugs and more hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on June 25, 2018, 06:19:45 PM
Chelsea, Chelsea, Dear Chelsea.....
Neither I ... @Jayne01 ... @Laurie nor anyone else have given you a "butt kicking" ... we were trying as hard as we know how to encourage you to get on with being yourself and continue to overcome the difficulties in your transition and other life problems as you have so successfully done previously.....
... and YES dear Chelsea, please continue to post the good and the bad.
Your caring readers want to know so we can be by your side and support you through thick and thin. We are naturally concerned for your well being and for your success with your transition, your business, and all of your relationships, family and otherwise. Please don't cheat us out of giving you the support that we desire to give.
Love ya girl,
Hugs and more hugs,
Danielle
I know Danielle and I love all of you. I guess to all of you I act like a big baby but its real and I don't like it either. It must be the medicine and I'm letting it get to me. I have been an emotional wreck this entire week.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on June 25, 2018, 06:34:08 PM
I know Danielle and I love all of you. I guess to all of you I act like a big baby but its real and I don't like it either. It must be the medicine and I'm letting it get to me. I have been an emotional wreck this entire week.
Hugs,
Chelsea
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea: Thank you for your response .... I was a little more than worried that you were so upset that you might stop posting again.... please don't do that.... your followers would be devastated.
Oh yes, indeed the
HRT hormones and the
emotional trauma of your transition decision and it's affect on how you deal with others ... and how they deal with you... can be a really tough thing to get a handle on. You are doing the best that you can and we all realize and fully understand that.
Now, if you are not working tonight, please try to relax, get a nice dinner and get your mind off of all of these problems. The good news that you should be relishing in is that you have taken care of your taxes!!!! One step at a time, solve one problem at a time.
We all LOVE YOU and are cheering for your success.
Hugs,
Danielle
@Chelsea Chelsea: For you !!!
(https://i.imgur.com/YAXzcmI.jpg)
Hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on June 25, 2018, 08:39:40 PM
Chelsea: For you !!!
(https://i.imgur.com/YAXzcmI.jpg)
Hugs,
Danielle
Danielle you are to kind to me. Thank you hun. :)
Chelsea I am sorry you have to go through this phase when emotions are like a live wire. We've all been through it. I remember the days I cried constantly; that this was hard, I'll never look good, I'm too tall, etc, etc. You just have to hold on tight and ride out this raging storm within you. It will come. Soon your body and mind with have adjusted and all will be fine as it can be. It's been said here and I've said it, you're beautiful and you're young. I waited until I was 61 to break out of my shell and move forward. You're doing it now and it's just as hard. I know. But we're here to support you, to applaud the good times and be a shoulder to lean on when things get tough.
Remember you need to live your life, not some MPB. She's living hers and she certainly has her issues to contend with. There's been some tough love handed out here but that's because we know you are one tough chick. Look what you've accomplished in life. You didn't get this far because you're a quitter. I can tell, you're intelligent and a go getter. Don't let a little self esteem issue drag you down. Better days are coming.
Hugs, Judi
Ok so Lauries response makes me realise never make her angry, although it looks like great advice.
Chelsea, you know I think you look amazing and I know you should be so proud of yourself for shining through adversity. Even though it looks tough now from reading so many others journeys I'm hoping it's just HRT playing games wirh you.
Stay strong and remember wine will always comes with a smile.
Sophie
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
Quote from: JudiBlueEyes on June 25, 2018, 09:17:54 PM
Chelsea I am sorry you have to go through this phase when emotions are like a live wire. We've all been through it. I remember the days I cried constantly; that this was hard, I'll never look good, I'm too tall, etc, etc. You just have to hold on tight and ride out this raging storm within you. It will come. Soon your body and mind with have adjusted and all will be fine as it can be. It's been said here and I've said it, you're beautiful and you're young. I waited until I was 61 to break out of my shell and move forward. You're doing it now and it's just as hard. I know. But we're here to support you, to applaud the good times and be a shoulder to lean on when things get tough.
Remember you need to live your life, not some MPB. She's living hers and she certainly has her issues to contend with. There's been some tough love handed out here but that's because we know you are one tough chick. Look what you've accomplished in life. You didn't get this far because you're a quitter. I can tell, you're intelligent and a go getter. Don't let a little self esteem issue drag you down. Better days are coming.
Hugs, Judi
Judi you hit the nail on the head. That sounds just like me. All these crazy thoughts on top of all the emotions making them worse and confusing. Am I too tall? maybe. Are my hands and feet a little too long? nah they are fine, or are they? Do I need FFS? maybe I don't know. Where are you gonna get the money? No idea. This is just a
tiny bit of the stuff that runs through my head everyday clouding my work day. I also have the fear of not knowing what I will turn out like. The selfies I post are not the whole picture. I know all of this is normal now but wow it sucks.
As far as MPB I am going to try my very best to just look where I'm walking and focus on what I'm doing at the moment. I still think I need horse blinders. lol Quitter?? You all know me better than that by now. I will cry and probably have a few "teenage girl" fits but I will get through this. Thank you for posting.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: maybesoph on June 26, 2018, 05:40:55 AM
Ok so Lauries response makes me realise never make her angry, although it looks like great advice.
Chelsea, you know I think you look amazing and I know you should be so proud of yourself for shining through adversity. Even though it looks tough now from reading so many others journeys I'm hoping it's just HRT playing games with you.
Stay strong and remember wine will always comes with a smile.
Sophie
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
Laurie is not angry, she is just trying to keep my butt in line. Shes like a second mom to me. lol Its just the estrogen making all these crazy emotions. You girls where not joking about hold on for the ride. No matter how tough you think you are they will get too you. Thank you Sophie for replying.
Hugs,
Chelesa
Quote from: Chelsea on June 26, 2018, 07:30:31 AM
You girls where not joking about hold on for the ride.
Nope! Wasn't a joke.... it is one hell of a ride, and sooooo worth it. [emoji16]
Quote from: Chelsea on June 26, 2018, 07:24:45 AM
Judi you hit the nail on the head. That sounds just like me. All these crazy thoughts on top of all the emotions making them worse and confusing. Am I too tall? maybe. Are my hands and feet a little too long? nah they are fine, or are they? Do I need FFS? maybe I don't know. Where are you gonna get the money? No idea. This is just a tiny bit of the stuff that runs through my head everyday clouding my work day. I also have the fear of not knowing what I will turn out like. The selfies I post are not the whole picture. I know all of this is normal now but wow it sucks.
As far as MPB I am going to try my very best to just look where I'm walking and focus on what I'm doing at the moment. I still think I need horse blinders. lol Quitter?? You all know me better than that by now. I will cry and probably have a few "teenage girl" fits but I will get through this. Thank you for posting.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Dear Chelsea, 26 June 2018
I haven't posted on your thread for awhile; thought it a good time to reverse that.
You started HRT 20 days before I did. I did mine w/o anti-androgens (spiro, etc.). The only thing I can tell you or anyone else is what I have experienced. My HRT started 27 March 2018; I have yet to experience a mood swing since being on HRT (tomorrow will be 3 months). There are two major differences between you and me; age and HRT. I'm 32 years older than you and most likely I am using different drugs/meds than you are.
Before I started transition, after much research, I decided I would not use anti-androgens under any circumstance, especially spiro, a potassium sparing diuretic that is being used as an anti-androgen. It's an oral medication so you have peaks and valleys in your blood levels.
Spiro is only one part of HRT so you are probably using something to provide estrogen or some form of it. If it's an oral med the same situation exists, peaks and valleys in your blood levels.
Seventeen days after I started HRT I had my nuts chopped off via bilateral inguinal orchiectomy thereby eliminating testosterone (last check it was 10). That 10 is produced by the adrenal gland, which is present in both men and women.
I am using Estradiol transdermal patches for my female hormone. The patches provide a near constant level of the hormone directly into the blood stream bypassing the liver, which metabolizes oral meds.
If anyone self adjusts their dosages, they could be causing undesirable mood swings. If I was having mood swings, I'd be visiting my endocrinologist and ask them to check my hormone levels.
I know I'm a
nag, but I do know a hell of a lot more about drugs/meds and their dangers than most people. If a person tries to play both ends from the middle, they may succeed for a while; as with all things in life, everything comes with a price tag attached, we just won't know what the price is until the bill comes due. Smoking is a good example; two of my best friends died last year from lung cancer. They both thought it would never happen to them.
Just so you know,
I am NOT accusing you of doing anything. If I didn't care about you, I wouldn't say
>-bleeped-< and I wouldn't spend time posting on your thread, I'd just ignore you. Notice, I'm not ignoring you.
Sorry if you or anyone thinks my verbiage is a bit rough around the edges; it's that way on and for a purpose.
Best Always, All My Love Always,
Christine
Quote from: Chelsea on June 25, 2018, 06:34:08 PM
I know Danielle and I love all of you. I guess to all of you I act like a big baby but its real and I don't like it either. It must be the medicine and I'm letting it get to me. I have been an emotional wreck this entire week.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Shoulda seen me two weeks ago. ;D What I posted here didn't even scratch the surface.
Christine, I really don't know how to respond to this other than saying I never self adjust my medicine. I take it exactly like my doctor has instructed and my last blood work was fine. As long as I drink lots of water and I drink some pickle juice at night I feel great. Thanks to you Danielle for that info because sense starting drinking a few ounces of pickle juice at night I have had no leg cramps at all. Last thing is I dont really have mood swings or haven't noticed. The dysphoria is my only issue and the HRT will not do anything for it. If anything its worse from the emotions. Thank you for posting.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Roll on June 26, 2018, 01:28:58 PM
Shoulda seen me two weeks ago. ;D What I posted here didn't even scratch the surface.
I must have missed that one Ellie. Are you going through the emotional roller coaster too?
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on June 26, 2018, 01:29:26 PM
Last thing is I dont really have mood swings or haven't noticed. The dysphoria is my only issue and the HRT will not do anything for it. If anything its worse from the emotions. Thank you for posting.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea, when a cis female goes through her monthly cycle, her hormone levels fluctuate with the cycle. Have you ever noticed that at certain times during the month, the females in your life appear more sensitive and prone to mood swings? Same thing happens to us trans women with varying hormone levels. When we first start HRT, we go through puberty all over again as our body goes through a dramatic shift in hormones levels. This shift causes our emotions to go a little wacky. We essentially become teenagers again, for a while. Things that didn't previously bother us too much suddenly become end of the world events. The severity of what we feel becomes amplified, appearing much worse than it really is. Knowing what is happening to us from a scientific point of view doesn't make it any easier when you are in the middle of it and living through it. You are now in the middle of your second puberty. All I can tell you is that it definitely does get better.... hang in there. This is the corkscrew twisty part of the roller coaster ride.
I can also understand what you mean about the dysphoria being worse. In my case, the dysphoria I feel comes in two forms. One form is the physical body dysphoria and the other is a social dysphoria. The hormones are taking care of the physical part by changing my body to be more feminine. The hormones are also working on my mind, but in a much more subtle way. I did not notice any mental effects for a good six months, until I thought back to how I felt before starting HRT. Comparing my mental state from before HRT to how I feel today (almost a year later), there is a huge difference. Taking care of the social dysphoria required something other than meds. I needed to start believing in myself that I actually am a woman and not just a guy playing dress up. Easier said than done. And with that belief, go out into the world as Jayne. It wasn't enough to be John dressed up as Jayne, because that made me feel worse. I kept telling myself "I AM Jayne!" I would go into women's shops, nervously looking over my shoulder wondering what other people are thinking. I'd see other women, some that would fit the MPB description, and they would trigger my dysphoria making me feel worse about myself. I would give myself little pep talks in my head saying "I am a woman and I belong here as much as anyone else", or "My name is Jayne and I am a woman!". After a few outings feeling nervous and self conscious, I started to feel more at ease. The MPB's didn't bother me anymore. Being out in the world as Jayne and believing in myself made me realise that I don't need to look a certain way to know I am a woman. Switching back to male mode after being successfully out as Jayne also triggers the dysphoria. It feels like being hit by a freight train.
You could be experiencing similar things to me, with the body dysphoria and social dysphoria. HRT can only help with the first. The second will take a little time until your confidence builds up. I keep telling you to hang in there, the reason being because you are currently going through a rough part of the transition journey. It does get better. So I will say it again.......hang in there. You are doing much better than you may think you are.
Hugs,
Jayne
Quote from: Jayne01 on June 26, 2018, 02:53:16 PM
Chelsea, when a cis female goes through her monthly cycle, her hormone levels fluctuate with the cycle. Have you ever noticed that at certain times during the month, the females in your life appear more sensitive and prone to mood swings? Same thing happens to us trans women with varying hormone levels. When we first start HRT, we go through puberty all over again as our body goes through a dramatic shift in hormones levels. This shift causes our emotions to go a little wacky. We essentially become teenagers again, for a while. Things that didn't previously bother us too much suddenly become end of the world events. The severity of what we feel becomes amplified, appearing much worse than it really is. Knowing what is happening to us from a scientific point of view doesn't make it any easier when you are in the middle of it and living through it. You are now in the middle of your second puberty. All I can tell you is that it definitely does get better.... hang in there. This is the corkscrew twisty part of the roller coaster ride.
I can also understand what you mean about the dysphoria being worse. In my case, the dysphoria I feel comes in two forms. One form is the physical body dysphoria and the other is a social dysphoria. The hormones are taking care of the physical part by changing my body to be more feminine. The hormones are also working on my mind, but in a much more subtle way. I did not notice any mental effects for a good six months, until I thought back to how I felt before starting HRT. Comparing my mental state from before HRT to how I feel today (almost a year later), there is a huge difference. Taking care of the social dysphoria required something other than meds. I needed to start believing in myself that I actually am a woman and not just a guy playing dress up. Easier said than done. And with that belief, go out into the world as Jayne. It wasn't enough to be John dressed up as Jayne, because that made me feel worse. I kept telling myself "I AM Jayne!" I would go into women's shops, nervously looking over my shoulder wondering what other people are thinking. I'd see other women, some that would fit the MPB description, and they would trigger my dysphoria making me feel worse about myself. I would give myself little pep talks in my head saying "I am a woman and I belong here as much as anyone else", or "My name is Jayne and I am a woman!". After a few outings feeling nervous and self conscious, I started to feel more at ease. The MPB's didn't bother me anymore. Being out in the world as Jayne and believing in myself made me realise that I don't need to look a certain way to know I am a woman. Switching back to male mode after being successfully out as Jayne also triggers the dysphoria. It feels like being hit by a freight train.
You could be experiencing similar things to me, with the body dysphoria and social dysphoria. HRT can only help with the first. The second will take a little time until your confidence builds up. I keep telling you to hang in there, the reason being because you are currently going through a rough part of the transition journey. It does get better. So I will say it again.......hang in there. You are doing much better than you may think you are.
Hugs,
Jayne
Thank you Jayne for replying. I think its the body dysphoria that is getting to me mostly. I have a bad habit of looking in the mirror all the time. I have tried to say "OK I'm not looking in the mirror for two weeks." I cant do it. lol I am always looking for a change.
Here is something that I do constantly and I am anxious to know if you girls do or have done this before. I have a full length mirror in the bathroom and If I look in the mirror with no clothes on I look horrible. Now if I look in the same mirror with full makeup and wig and no clothes my body is looking pretty good and it makes me happy. Its like it tricks my brain. This has to be body dysphoria. I'm thinking after more time on HRT I will get the confidence I need and any social dysphoria I have should not be an issue anymore. I could be wrong but that's my thoughts on my dysphoria. Keep in mind that I have never been around other people as Chelsea so I might have social dysphoria and not know it...
O and I am hanging in there. I'm in this for the long haul. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
..
..
@Chelsea ... In
your response to the reply post from
@Jayne01 you stated at the end of your reply the following:
"O and I am hanging in there. I'm in this for the long haul." :)
Atta girl ... that's our girl Chelsea.. I am so very glad to read that statement of yours.
Yes, the day by day stuff changes so slowly, it is in the long haul that you and others will notice body and face changes. HRT is not a fast and quick process and the changes that you experience will be uniquely yours.... other transitioners may have quicker or slower results with more or less significant changes. It is all up to your body and how it reacts to the HRT regimen. Patience ir required for sure... If you look for daily or weekly changes you will usually be disappointed. Perhaps a better time frame for evaluating or recording your HRT timeline is on a monthly basis.
Again Chelsea.... PATIENCE !!! Hugs and well wishes as always,
Danielle
Chelsea, when you wrote "I have a full length mirror in the bathroom and..." I had to chuckle. My best friend (a guy) told me years ago how he never looks in a mirror. When I came out to him I confided that I cannot pass a mirror without looking at myself. It's our nature. We want to look good and we look to the mirror for validation. But it can be a fickle friend so look for the changes, as small as they may be at times. This is what it's showing you. Now you admit you look and it makes you happy to see Chelsea. That's what you should aspire too. Hang in there girl! The tough times don't last, but tough women do!
Judi
Quote from: christinej78 on June 26, 2018, 10:36:58 AM
.
.Quote from: Chelsea on June 26, 2018, 01:29:26 PM
Christine, I really don't know how to respond to this other than saying I never self adjust my medicine. I take it exactly like my doctor has instructed and my last blood work was fine. As long as I drink lots of water and I drink some pickle juice at night I feel great. Thanks to you Danielle for that info because sense starting drinking a few ounces of pickle juice at night I have had no leg cramps at all. Last thing is I dont really have mood swings or haven't noticed. The dysphoria is my only issue and the HRT will not do anything for it. If anything its worse from the emotions. Thank you for posting.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Just so you know, I am NOT accusing you of doing anything. If I didn't care about you, I wouldn't say >-bleeped-< and I wouldn't spend time posting on your thread, I'd just ignore you. Notice, I'm not ignoring you.
.
.
Dear Chelsea, 26 June 2018
You must have missed the last part of the above. You have a lot of followers; I wrote what I wrote for your audience as a whole, not just you. There may be a reader that is/or was contemplating self medicating. I don't have time to write a post for everyone so I chose your thread to make my statement; see above:
"I am NOT accusing you of doing anything."Do you really know what I want from you?
Here is what I want; I want you to be successful in Business and in your Personal Life. I put those two items in that specific order, because without success in business you will not have the resources to be successful in your personal life. That's it in a nut shell, nothing more, nothing less.
Best Always, All My Love Always,
Christine
Quote from: Chelsea on June 26, 2018, 03:41:30 PM
Thank you Jayne for replying. I think its the body dysphoria that is getting to me mostly. I have a bad habit of looking in the mirror all the time. I have tried to say "OK I'm not looking in the mirror for two weeks." I cant do it. lol I am always looking for a change.
Oh Chelsea....don't go constantly looking for changes. You won't see them. The changes happen gradually and even if there were noticeable differences from one day to the next, you probably won't see them because you always see yourself. I have an app on my phone where I keep a log of my measurements to see what kind of effect HRT is having. I take measurements every 3 or 4 weeks and for the past few months, nothing has changed. Barely even a single centimetre. Yet I know my breasts are still growing. The dimension taken by the tape measure seems unchanging, but my breasts are filling and rounding out, making them appear larger than the tape measure would suggest. What I am trying to say is, trust that things will change without looking for differences day to day. Maybe a better option would be to take regular photos of yourself, say once a month, and then compare photos several months apart and you will surely see what is changing.
Quote
Here is something that I do constantly and I am anxious to know if you girls do or have done this before. I have a full length mirror in the bathroom and If I look in the mirror with no clothes on I look horrible. Now if I look in the same mirror with full makeup and wig and no clothes my body is looking pretty good and it makes me happy. Its like it tricks my brain. This has to be body dysphoria. I'm thinking after more time on HRT I will get the confidence I need and any social dysphoria I have should not be an issue anymore. I could be wrong but that's my thoughts on my dysphoria. Keep in mind that I have never been around other people as Chelsea so I might have social dysphoria and not know it...
Your hair makes a huge difference to how you look. I used to have a #1 crew cut for the past 20 years. I couldn't imagine what I would look like with more hair. After letting my hair grow for a while, last haircut I had was September last year, I am starting to see a woman in the mirror. That woman was not visible to me with the shorter hair. In your case, the difference between wearing the wig and not wearing it would be much more dramatic, possibly causing you the added dysphoria. The reason I say the difference would be more dramatic is because your wig is big, long hair, which I am guessing is very different to your actual hair. BTW, your chosen wig hair style looks really good on you. It suits you very well.
Quote
O and I am hanging in there. I'm in this for the long haul. :)
That's the spirit! You have the right attitude to transition very successfully.
Hugs,
Jayne
I relate a lot to the dysphoria and frustrations at times with hrt. It's not so easy to put so much into a "transition" and it's all up in the air. I don't know what I need anymore. I feel like eveything (including stability) has been taken from me and I'm scared I won't find my ground again...
So I've followed your posts here and I understand what you're going through.
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
Hey Chelsea,
I think this is the first time I've read your thread and caught the last few posts. So you are having insecurities and dysphoria? Welcome to the club! Lol. I went full time 3 weeks ago and it gets easier each day but I'm sure the dysphoria won't go away completely. I have a friend who's been full time for 6 years and she still gets dysphoria attacks every once in a while. Basically we need to learn how to live with it and how to handle it.
Hang in there girl, I know it's easier said than done. Several times I've felt like this is too much to handle emotionally but there's still something inside me always telling me to continue so that's what I'm doing. I think that drive is part of all of us, it's what other people call "bravery" which is super inaccurate given how scared and insecure we actually are inside.
Quote from: Charlie Nicki on June 27, 2018, 12:08:46 PM
Hey Chelsea,
I think this is the first time I've read your thread and caught the last few posts. So you are having insecurities and dysphoria? Welcome to the club! Lol. I went full time 3 weeks ago and it gets easier each day but I'm sure the dysphoria won't go away completely. I have a friend who's been full time for 6 years and she still gets dysphoria attacks every once in a while. Basically we need to learn how to live with it and how to handle it.
Hang in there girl, I know it's easier said than done. Several times I've felt like this is too much to handle emotionally but there's still something inside me always telling me to continue so that's what I'm doing. I think that drive is part of all of us, it's what other people call "bravery" which is super inaccurate given how scared and insecure we actually are inside.
@Charlie Nicki .... well stated and exactly correct .... in our transition journeys we must be very determined and use all the willpower we can muster to stay on course..... then of course we need
patience to see it through.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on June 27, 2018, 12:31:49 PM
@Charlie Nicki .... well stated and exactly correct .... in our transition journeys we must be very determined and use all the willpower we can muster to stay on course..... then of course we need patience to see it through.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Hugs,
Danielle
Agreed...Patience is the keyword. We need A LOT of it.
Quote from: Allison S on June 27, 2018, 05:32:58 AM
I relate a lot to the dysphoria and frustrations at times with hrt. It's not so easy to put so much into a "transition" and it's all up in the air. I don't know what I need anymore. I feel like eveything (including stability) has been taken from me and I'm scared I won't find my ground again...
So I've followed your posts here and I understand what you're going through.
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
Allison thank you for posting. You will find your ground again and so will I. I know exactly how you feel. On top of my dysphoria and frustrations life just keeps handing me bad cards. Its like something or someone is trying to break me.
I have said this before it feels like I move one step forward and fifteen back. Example... Last night after my last post we had a bad thunderstorm come through. An electrical surge damaged two routers, my mothers big screen tv, a cable box and modem. I had to get up this morning and spend my doctor money on replacing some of these things because I have a online business and must have internet. Then had to call and cancel my doctors appointment and my voice therapy for this week. I feel like I'm in the woods and there are people in every tree throwing rocks at me but I cant stop. If I can keep going so can you. We will get through this.
Quote from: Charlie Nicki on June 27, 2018, 12:08:46 PM
Hey Chelsea,
I think this is the first time I've read your thread and caught the last few posts. So you are having insecurities and dysphoria? Welcome to the club! Lol. I went full time 3 weeks ago and it gets easier each day but I'm sure the dysphoria won't go away completely. I have a friend who's been full time for 6 years and she still gets dysphoria attacks every once in a while. Basically we need to learn how to live with it and how to handle it.
Hang in there girl, I know it's easier said than done. Several times I've felt like this is too much to handle emotionally but there's still something inside me always telling me to continue so that's what I'm doing. I think that drive is part of all of us, it's what other people call "bravery" which is super inaccurate given how scared and insecure we actually are inside.
Charlie Nicki, Thank you for joining in on my crazy thread. I will continue going down this rocky road I'm on and you are right, its not easy. When I first started I thought I could just take my medicine and when its time to come out, I would be finished and be Chelsea. lol Sadly its a lot more than that now that I'm doing it. I never had much of a issue with the dysphoria until starting hrt. I have never been in public as Chelsea so my dysphoria will most certainly get worse when I do.
My brother said that what I was doing was the most brave thing he has ever seen, and like you say I am scared to death inside and full of insecurities. Again thank you for posting. All of you help me so much.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on June 27, 2018, 12:55:01 PM
Allison thank you for posting. You will find your ground again and so will I. I know exactly how you feel. On top of my dysphoria and frustrations life just keeps handing me bad cards. Its like something or someone is trying to break me.
I have said this before it feels like I move one step forward and fifteen back. Example... Last night after my last post we had a bad thunderstorm come through. An electrical surge damaged two routers, my mothers big screen tv, a cable box and modem. I had to get up this morning and spend my doctor money on replacing some of these things because I have a online business and must have internet. Then had to call and cancel my doctors appointment and my voice therapy for this week. I feel like I'm in the woods and there are people in every tree throwing rocks at me but I cant stop. If I can keep going so can you. We will get through this.
Charlie Nicki, Thank you for joining in on my crazy thread. I will continue going down this rocky road I'm on and you are right, its not easy. When I first started I thought I could just take my medicine and when its time to come out, I would be finished and be Chelsea. lol Sadly its a lot more than that now that I'm doing it. I never had much of a issue with the dysphoria until starting hrt. I have never been in public as Chelsea so my dysphoria will most certainly get worse when I do.
My brother said that what I was doing was the most brave thing he has ever seen, and like you say I am scared to death inside and full of insecurities. Again thank you for posting. All of you help me so much.
Hugs,
Chelsea
I'm glad our posts can help you in any way. Just knowing that there are so many of us all around the world going through the same messed up thing, makes the process a bit easier.
Girls my business is failing. I'm ok just very bummed out. I haven't sold anything in two weeks and buy the time I get my friend paid back and start actually making money with him, It will be too late to keep this machine I've wasted over 30K on. Without the machine... well I just don't know. I will get through this somehow but it sucks when you don't have anything in the fridge to eat and your supposed to be the provider. I'm going to work anyway even though I feel like I'm pissing in the wind. Maybe I will get through this one day. Sooner than later I hope because this is getting really really old. I'm just blowing off steam so there is no need to reply because there is no way out of this and to be honest I'm tired of trying. No person should have to work that hard just to survive. I'm just delaying the inevitable. But hey I'm alive.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on June 28, 2018, 09:10:42 AM
Girls my business is failing. I'm ok just very bummed out. I haven't sold anything in two weeks and buy the time I get my friend paid back and start actually making money with him, It will be too late to keep this machine I've wasted over 30K on. Without the machine... well I just don't know. I will get through this somehow but it sucks when you don't have anything in the fridge to eat and your supposed to be the provider. I'm going to work anyway even though I feel like I'm pissing in the wind. Maybe I will get through this one day. Sooner than later I hope because this is getting really really old. I'm just blowing off steam so there is no need to reply because there is no way out of this and to be honest I'm tired of trying. No person should have to work that hard just to survive. I'm just delaying the inevitable. But hey I'm alive.
Hugs,
Chelsea
@Chelsea My dear Chelsea... I am so very sorry to hear about your difficulties not only with your business but all of the other life issues that are coming your way.... I have no words that can make all of that go away, my magic wand is broken.
It upsets me greatly to hear when a good friend or loved one is having a tough time dealing with issues that adversely affect them. It then affects me too... greatly affects me. My heart goes out to you.
I have just a thought... can you sell the machine to someone that will take over the payments and perhaps you can make a little extra in the process for handling the deal?? At least try get out of the deal with something $$ even if it is just a little.
Giving you my HUGS and as always well wishes,
Danielle
O No Chelsea! So sorry to hear about the continued problems. Following your thread, we all know how hard you have been working over the past few weeks. You should rest assured that it was not for the lack of trying if it does come to the point where you may have to give up on the dream of your small business, at least temporarily. The situation may change and you may be able to start back up in the future.
You may remember me being in your situation many years ago. And as
@Alaskan Danielle suggested, I did have to find someone taking over the expensive equipment lease since I could no longer afford payments. It certainly was a very sad day when the truck drove away and I was left with a half-empty shop. It was however also a great relief since I knew in the situation I was in, this was needed for me to get back on my feet.
One other thought I had is: Could you share the machine with someone else? Take turns producing goods? I know this is somewhat common for commercial kitchens where a few people share one or people can rent a kitchen by the hour. I certainly miss having access to a decent CNC machine but I also only need it maybe once a year. Or could you start teaching how to use your machine and create some income that way until your regular business picks back up?
Stay strong Chelsea! Hugs - Sarah
Quote from: Chelsea on June 28, 2018, 09:10:42 AM
Girls my business is failing. I'm ok just very bummed out. I haven't sold anything in two weeks and buy the time I get my friend paid back and start actually making money with him, It will be too late to keep this machine I've wasted over 30K on. Without the machine... well I just don't know. I will get through this somehow but it sucks when you don't have anything in the fridge to eat and your supposed to be the provider. I'm going to work anyway even though I feel like I'm pissing in the wind. Maybe I will get through this one day. Sooner than later I hope because this is getting really really old. I'm just blowing off steam so there is no need to reply because there is no way out of this and to be honest I'm tired of trying. No person should have to work that hard just to survive. I'm just delaying the inevitable. But hey I'm alive.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on June 28, 2018, 09:10:42 AM
Girls my business is failing. I'm ok just very bummed out. I haven't sold anything in two weeks and buy the time I get my friend paid back and start actually making money with him, It will be too late to keep this machine I've wasted over 30K on. Without the machine... well I just don't know. I will get through this somehow but it sucks when you don't have anything in the fridge to eat and your supposed to be the provider. I'm going to work anyway even though I feel like I'm pissing in the wind. Maybe I will get through this one day. Sooner than later I hope because this is getting really really old. I'm just blowing off steam so there is no need to reply because there is no way out of this and to be honest I'm tired of trying. No person should have to work that hard just to survive. I'm just delaying the inevitable. But hey I'm alive.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hi Chelsea,
I am so sorry that your business keeps hitting the wall with creating any meaningful income. Danielle and Sarah had some good suggestions that may be an option to turn things around for you. I wish that I also had some good ideas to help you, but I am at a loss. I don't have a business brain. All I can offer you is moral support to help keep you in a positive mindset. I can tell that you are already in a much better frame of mind than you were when things took a downturn several weeks ago. You are not one to give up easily. Keep working hard with any production jobs you do have and also with the job your friend has given you. The income you are currently getting is minimal and not enough to provide and keep up with payments on your machine, but it is more than no income at all. Also, keep working hard at figuring ways to get back into a financial position that allows you to provide for your family. We are all rooting for you.
I know you will, but I will say it anyway. Hang in there!
Hugs,
Jayne
@Chelsea
Chelsea:... another thought: If there are machine shops near your area and even other places not so near that may need metal milling work done in their peak times you might consider offering to subcontract some of their jobs. If a company needed a quantity of small parts made for a big job, that could even be something that could be sent by freight, UPS or the US Mail... just thinking out loud here.
That could be an attractive alternative for a busy shop thus permitting them to get more work done and more product out the door without investing in more machines and training or finding new employees.
Since I am thousands of mile away and in a completely different work field I really don't know what I am talking about.... rather I am just throwing out ideas.
Keep working for you friend as much as possible and if the hours with him start tapering off, find any job, .... any job at all.... even if it is lower paying, it will at least help you to offset some of your expenses.
I will be watching for your next update.
Hugs and as always, I am wishing you well,
Danielle
Danielle, picking up some surplus work from larger business is actually a good idea.
Chelsea, further to what Danielle said, you could shift your business from production and sales to contracting for larger companies. The larger companies don't even have to be local to you. It would still be worth their while to factor in freight costs than to tie their money up in owning and maintaining machinery assets and pay staff to operate the machines. Spread your search for work all over the country.
Keep your head up and stay strong.
Hugs,
Jayne
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea:I am certain that I am speaking for all of your other readers and followers of your thread and posts.... we are rooting for you and are your biggest fans. When the time is right for you to continue with your updates we will all be happy campers and will rejoice in your happy reports and support you in your not so happy times.
We are trusting that all is OK with you and that you are handling your various issues that you have been enduring and trying to deal with.
Hugs and hugs and hugs,
Danielle
Aw, hun, I am sorry to hear that your business has not picked up. I don't have any advice to offer you that hasn't already been suggested. All I can do is offer you a virtual hug: (((((HUG)))))
Month 4 Update
I haven't posted in a while so thought I would do my 4th month update. Not really much too report. I have no real measurable body changes but can see things changing. I'm feeling a lot better about my body. My thighs have gotten bigger but I didn't take a measurement when starting because I'm a bonehead. They are at 18.5 inches. Yeah Yeah I know I'm a stick but I'll get there one day. I have gained some of my weight back and am up to 131lbs. Emotions have been running wild but I know what they are now and I'm able to handle them better. It took me awhile to figure them out.
Had my blood taken Friday but haven't got the report back yet. I'm pretty sure that it will come back fine.
I'm still working like something silly and finally got my friend paid back. I've been working 14 and 16 hour days and I'm exhausted to the point I don't feel good.
Even though I don't have much to report as far as monthly changes go I do have some very good news. All of you know I have been looking to meet another trans person face to face. I have a friend that transitioned over 3 years ago but we never can get a chance to meet up. The other girl that my therapist set me up with is the same way and has a lot going on in her life as well.
About two weeks ago I seen a cute girl on Instagram that lived kind of close to me, so I messaged her to ask how long she had been on hormones. We have been talking some at night when I get home from working. A few days ago my totally awesome girl friend told me to ask her to meet and it would be good for me. I sent her a massage and ask her expecting the same as the others that I have tried to meet but to my surprise she said Sure! We made plans to meet and yesterday I drove a hour and a half away, the entire time I was soo nervous. I was in guy mode and she told me that its fine that we all have a guy mode. The closer I got the more nervous I got. When I got there she came to the door and when I seen her in person I freaked out and just sit there like a idiot. She came out to the car to get me and reassured me that is all good.
I could tell that she knew how scared I was and told me "don't sweat it, were gonna have fun." I did bring my clothes and makeup just in case and I'm glad I did. I have never had so much fun. I talked to her for hours and in 10 minuets I felt like I had known her for years. We got ready together and she was the first person ever to see me as Chelsea other than my girlfriend. She said "come on were running to the store. you need to get over this shyness." She still has her male voice but I'm telling you she don't care. I have never seen so much confidence in a person in my life. She made me feel so pretty telling me she wished she looked as good as me and she is at 10 months. We hang out about 5 hours and If any of you have never met another trans person I highly recommend it. I finally met one and now have a very good friend. This was the best experience I have had sense starting this transition.
I need to get back to work but just wanted to share my awesome day I had. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea what a wonderful report! I'm glad you enjoyed yourself with your new friend. She sounds like a hot ticket! Being around others who are confident is contagious.
Good news on getting your friend paid. I know you're working hard. Sounds like you're making progress.
"Nothing measurable but can see things happening." This is how it happens for the most part. As we focus on life, the changes quietly appear.
Thanks for checking in!
Hugs, Judi
I have but one word for you...."AWESOME!!" :icon_birthday: :eusa_clap: :eusa_dance: :icon_2gun: :icon_headfones: :icon_woowoo: :icon_workout: :icon_dance: :icon_caffine:
Wow Chelsea! What an awesome update. I am so happy for you. You are making great progress with your work and have taken a gigantic leap forward in your transition journey. WOW!!!!!
Here is a HUGE and GIGANTIC ((((((((((HUG)))))))))) for you!!!
Jayne
Way to go, Chelsea!! It's so cool to find someone you can share the adventure with who really gets it.
And you went shopping?! Awesome! Mark your calendar, you'll remember that day forever!
Stephanie
Heya Chelsea.... such wonderful news getting your friend paid back ... and your personal real life relationships sound so positive.
Thank you for being your happy self again.
I really enjoyed your 4 month update. No worries... HRT will do it's magic in it's own time ... PATIENCE is required! Trusting that your blood test results will come back OK.
Hugs and well wishes to you as always,
....your caring Alaskan friend up North
Danielle
Meeting with others that share your own feelings in life is a wonderful feeling. Each time I go out with my friends as Jessica, I feel she is more and more a possibility in my life. Becoming comfortable takes a bit of will power, but the more you assert your will, the easier it comes.
Hugs and smiles, Jess
aw yay! I'm glad you had fun!
Hi Chelsea,
That's awesome, glad you made a new friend you can see in person!
Take care,
Sonja.
What an excellent update, Chelsea! So glad you have a friend in real life that you can talk to about all this stuff!
Wow, Chelsea - this is such a nice and positive update. I am so glad that you have found a good trans friend and you two had a great time. I am very happy for you!
Hugs - Sarah
Excellent update Chelsea. So glad you have a new friend and things are starting to look up. It is great having transgender friends. Besides my therapist I have regular coffee with three ladies.
One is post op, one is prepped and one is they/them and just a blast to hang with.
You are moving right along there girl. Love and best wishes
Congratulations Chelsea. Two excellent pieces of news.
First paying off your friend and now meeting a trans friend. Wonderful to be able to open up in person to someone who feels the same way as you.
Wishing you continued happiness. Hugs
Pamela
Quote from: Steph2.0 on July 09, 2018, 02:28:15 PM
Way to go, Chelsea!! It's so cool to find someone you can share the adventure with who really gets it.
And you went shopping?! Awesome! Mark your calendar, you'll remember that day forever!
Stephanie
First of all thanks very everyone for the comments!
Stephanie we really didn't go shopping. She just wanted to run to the store for something. I'm really not ready to go out in public I think. I did get in the car and go with her, I just never got out of the car. lol It did make me feel better about myself more than anything else has. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on July 10, 2018, 01:29:21 PM
First of all thanks very everyone for the comments!
Stephanie we really didn't go shopping. She just wanted to run to the store for something. I'm really not ready to go out in public I think. I did get in the car and go with her, I just never got out of the car. lol It did make me feel better about myself more than anything else has. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Good enough for now! One step at a time. You'll be out and about in no time. Your new friend will be a huge help with that!
Stephanie
Yes Chelsea,
You must feel so proud right now x
Paying you're friend back and meeting up with someone that identifies with what youre going through.
After a hard few months I'm so happy that your feeling positive again, congrats
Sophie.
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
Hey everyone. I just jumped in to let everyone know whats been going on with me lately. The main thing and its sad is that me and my girlfriend Alivia have parted ways. Before anyone freaks out me and Alivia are absolutely fine. This has been coming for a long time. We have not even slept in the same bed for the last 3 years. We have become more like roommates than lovers. She will still be here for a little while until she makes arrangements with her family in Alabama.
Its not hit me yet but I know it will. You cant live with someone 10 years and not care about them. Again we both will be fine.
Now that the bad news is over, I have been feeling great this last week. The dysphoria has not bugged me one time and I have seen some pretty girls that normally would have triggered me but so far so good. Me being able to see that womanly shape starting has made me so happy and I think has helped my confidence.
On the money side of things I have my friend paid back and will be getting my first actual paycheck this week. The machine payment was due yesterday and I'm struggling to get it. I will not stress one more day about the machine. I'll just keep doing the best i can do because its not worth me getting sick over like last time. Alivia not being here will help me in the money department too. I know that sounds mean but she is actually looking forward to going to Alabama.
I cant wait to get my finances straitened out. I have missed three weeks of voice therapy because of money and I'm excited about getting that started again. I plan on doing laser next or electrolysis, I have red hair and don't know if laser will be very effective on it. I haven't even pierced my ears yet. :laugh: You all know Im such a wimp when it comes to needles.
I got my first negative feedback in my transition. One of my friends that I have known sense she was seventeen has not been answering my messages and I had thought see was busy. I found out through her sister that shes having a hard time with it and didn't want to talk to me. Me and her have been very close friends for years, shes a cool girl that likes muscle cars and motorcycles and through the years I have painted some of her prize cars. Its sad that I have lost a good friend over me wanting to be happy. I'm guessing she just don't understand.
The only other thing I can think of is mom. I don't remember if I told you girls or not but, mom told me a couple of weeks ago that if I was going to be a woman I could not live here. I told her that see would never have to see me as Chelsea but, I will keep taking my medicine and continue this transition as fast as I can. Sense that day me or her have not talked about me transitioning at all. So again I'm here in prison and cant come out. I'm still working on a way out of this one.
This post might look bad but I just wanted to add that I'm alright and very positive. I'm actually happier more now than I have been in my life. Just me starting to feel better about myself has helped me stay more positive lately.
My apologies for jumping around but I just typed all this out as i thought of it with very little sleep. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
@Chelsea:
Dear Chelsea: Well, for the most part your posting here was quite positive and it sounds like you are starting to get a handle on your life's various issues.
I am glad that the breakup, as you reported it, went fairly smoothly...
...remember the oldies song... "Breaking Up is Hard to Do"
Getting free of Alivia will certainly help free up some of your hard earned dollars that you are spending to support her.
What is going on with your new transwoman girlfriend??? Only answer if you feel comfortable doing so.
Good news about your dysphoria being somewhat under control now. You will be a much happier person now.
All of your reports about your machine, your paycheck and your finances are very good news indeed,,, congratulations on the culmination of you hard work and fierce determination and willpower to get this financial stuff moving in the right direction.... finally!!!
I am so very sorry to hear of your longtime old friend not accepting the new you. .... and about your Mom.
Hey girl, my own parents and some of my old high school and childhood friends will still not take my phone calls nor will they answer my emails and I have been transitioning for 4 years and have been full-time for almost 20 months. We can't win them all, but who knows what the future may hold with them... I am still hoping.
Thank you for breaking your silence and posting your update.... your readers and followers want to know what is going on with you... so we can rejoice in your happy moments, and we can support you when things are not going so well..... we want to hear from you often.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
So good to hear form you again! Yes change is happening for you in many ways on your roller coaster path!So positive that you see so many positive things happening and you are moving forward! All the Best!
Hugs,
Kelly
Hello Chelsea. Yes despite some down news I can sense a rise in your tone and that is good. You are moving forward on many fronts and that's good news. Sorry to hear about Alivia. Great news about your dysphoria. It sounds like you are taking control!
I agree that getting stressed over money is not good, especially when you are doing everything you possibly can. Again it sounds like things are going well.
Thanks for the update. All my best,
Judi
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on July 15, 2018, 09:01:01 PM
@Chelsea:
Dear Chelsea: Well, for the most part your posting here was quite positive and it sounds like you are starting to get a handle on your life's various issues.
I am glad that the breakup, as you reported it, went fairly smoothly...
...remember the oldies song... "Breaking Up is Hard to Do"
Getting free of Alivia will certainly help free up some of your hard earned dollars that you are spending to support her.
What is going on with your new transwoman girlfriend??? Only answer if you feel comfortable doing so.
Good news about your dysphoria being somewhat under control now. You will be a much happier person now.
All of your reports about your machine, your paycheck and your finances are very good news indeed,,, congratulations on the culmination of you hard work and fierce determination and willpower to get this financial stuff moving in the right direction.... finally!!!
I am so very sorry to hear of your longtime old friend not accepting the new you. .... and about your Mom.
Hey girl, my own parents and some of my old high school and childhood friends will still not take my phone calls nor will they answer my emails and I have been transitioning for 4 years and have been full-time for almost 20 months. We can't win them all, but who knows what the future may hold with them... I am still hoping.
Thank you for breaking your silence and posting your update.... your readers and followers want to know what is going on with you... so we can rejoice in your happy moments, and we can support you when things are not going so well..... we want to hear from you often.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Well I wasn't going to say anything but sense you ask. This is kind of awkward but as you all know I finally met my first transwoman Kristen and we have become really close friends. I will just say I have a serious crush on her. I was attracted to her in the first few minuets we met. I mean she is doing the same thing as me, likes the same things as me and is very pretty. Only thing is that she just recently split up with her wife of 8 years and they also have two kids together so I don't think shes actually looking for anyone. That is the reason I was going to wait to talk about her. I can tell she likes me, I just don't know how much yet. Its just way to early to know where this is going. I guess this thread has turned into quite a soap opera lol. I will defiantly keep you all posted on me and Kristen if anything changes.
O... the reason I have been silent is only because of the amount of hours i have been working.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Oh wow! What an update. It's got ups and downs and everything in between, but it seems that you have a bright path before you and you are sound pretty upbeat about it all. I am so glad for that. Don't worry about the ear piercing. I was a little nervous about mine, but it was just a little prick. Waaay easier than giving blood which I do regularly. I am really glad that you have found a trans friend that you can meet up with. If you can put a positive spin on all of this, you can do anything!!
lots of Love!
Julie
Wow Chelsea! What an update!! I have been thinking about you, wondering how things are going. So sorry to hear that you and Alivia have separated. At least it sounds like you have parted on good terms.
I am very happy to hear that you have finished paying back your friend and are now starting to earn some money to put towards your transition. But the best news I am seeing is your new positive outlook. You are not the same vulnerable girl from a couple months ago. That girl would have fallen apart with the challenges you are still facing, but this new look Chelsea I am seeing now can handle these difficulties, find a way to work through them and come out the other side shining bright. I am very proud of you!
I believe you when you said
"I just wanted to add that I'm alright and very positive"
Keep the updates coming whenever you have some free time.
Hugs,
Jayne
Hi Chelsea
I'm glad you're feeling happy in yourself thats awesome after the last few weeks.
Sorry to hear about Alivia but a great thing to be parting amicably, that way you'll always have fond memories of one another.
Keep working hard and once your monies and fortune start to turn, and they will. Life will seem even brighter for you x
Sophie
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
Thank you Julie, Jayne, Sophie.
I'm am positive about everything. The only thing that worries me is that, its not hit yet about me and Alivia. Shes still here. When she actually leaves and I am sitting alone it night is what I'm afraid of. I'm a very lonely person anyway.
I'm scared because It might make me grab the first person that just comes along, and that's not good. I'm fine right now, and was just sharing some of my thoughts with you girls hoping for some advise.
I really like Kristen a lot. You all know my name is Charles for now. As Charles I was or am very confident in myself. Even though I hated my looks like the last 30 or so years, I did get a few complements over the years and that helped me develop the confidence I have now.
Now the game changer..... Kristen likes Chelsea. As Chelsea I am very insecure, a complete opposite of Charles. Insecurity is unattractive. I am a lost puppy when it comes to this now. How do I get that confidence back when I'm Chelsea???? I have to feel good about Chelsea to have that confidence and I just don't yet. I am happy the way its going, its just I'm not there yet. Also I have noticed that talking to Kristen is different than a cis woman. Its just different and I wish I knew how to describe it. I like her a lot but have no idea how to win her over.
I really am going through a second puberty, I feel like the first time I ask a girl out for a date. (It was a disaster!) lol
OK girls theirs my story so give me some pointers on how to approach this. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on July 15, 2018, 08:40:31 PM
Now that the bad news is over, I have been feeling great this last week. The dysphoria has not bugged me one time and I have seen some pretty girls that normally would have triggered me but so far so good. Me being able to see that womanly shape starting has made me so happy and I think has helped my confidence.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Thank you for your update, Chelsea. I see you have had some ups and downs.
I just thought I would highlight the above paragraph.
I can see you are feeling much better - great as you say - and that you are making plans.
You are well motivated. You continue to overcome obstacles.
I am so happy for you.
Hugs
Pamela
Quote from: Chelsea on July 16, 2018, 08:11:51 AM
Thank you Julie, Jayne, Sophie.
I'm am positive about everything. The only thing that worries me is that, its not hit yet about me and Alivia. Shes still here. When she actually leaves and I am sitting alone it night is what I'm afraid of. I'm a very lonely person anyway.
I'm scared because It might make me grab the first person that just comes along, and that's not good. I'm fine right now, and was just sharing some of my thoughts with you girls hoping for some advise.
I really like Kristen a lot. You all know my name is Charles for now. As Charles I was or am very confident in myself. Even though I hated my looks like the last 30 or so years, I did get a few complements over the years and that helped me develop the confidence I have now.
Now the game changer..... Kristen likes Chelsea. As Chelsea I am very insecure, a complete opposite of Charles. Insecurity is unattractive. I am a lost puppy when it comes to this now. How do I get that confidence back when I'm Chelsea???? I have to feel good about Chelsea to have that confidence and I just don't yet. I am happy the way its going, its just I'm not there yet. Also I have noticed that talking to Kristen is different than a cis woman. Its just different and I wish I knew how to describe it. I like her a lot but have no idea how to win her over.
I really am going through a second puberty, I feel like the first time I ask a girl out for a date. (It was a disaster!) lol
OK girls theirs my story so give me some pointers on how to approach this. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea, this is probably not what you want to hear, but my advice is to not actively pursue Kristen. As you said, the break up with Alivia has not hit you yet. That will most likely happen after she moves out and you won't be in the best state of mind to start a new relationship. You are also still finding your way as Chelsea. Kristen sounds like a great friend. My suggestion is to let nature take its own course. Continue developing your confidence as Chelsea and your friendship with Kristen. Don't try to force a relationship to happen. Work on just being friends for now. If anything develops from that in the future then great. If it doesn't, then you still have a good friendship.
That is my 2 cents worth. You have my best wishes.
Hugs,
Jayne
Quote from: Jayne01 on July 16, 2018, 10:07:13 AM
Dear Chelsea, this is probably not what you want to hear, but my advice is to not actively pursue Kristen. As you said, the break up with Alivia has not hit you yet. That will most likely happen after she moves out and you won't be in the best state of mind to start a new relationship. You are also still finding your way as Chelsea. Kristen sounds like a great friend. My suggestion is to let nature take its own course. Continue developing your confidence as Chelsea and your friendship with Kristen. Don't try to force a relationship to happen. Work on just being friends for now. If anything develops from that in the future then great. If it doesn't, then you still have a good friendship.
That is my 2 cents worth. You have my best wishes.
Hugs,
Jayne
@Chelsea.... the advice that
@Jayne01 just gave to you regarding
Kristen is
exactly what I would suggest also. You don't need any kind of distraction with a "rebound" crush as you are trudging forward trying to solve your other more pressing and more immediate issues in your life. .... and if and when you may pursue a relationship with Kristen I would suggest that you take it very slow. I get the feeling that while you have fallen head or heels in love with her... that she may not share the very same feelings for you... perhaps, as I read "between the lines" that she is quite pleased with you as just a friends with benefits... so, again, develop that relationship slowly and if it looks like a dead end road as far as a mutual romance (and the ensuing extra financial burden that you can not afford) then it would be easier to cut it off now instead of later.... easy to say, but difficult to do... I know.
Also, while your breakup with your live-in girlfriend
Alivia is no doubt still heavy on your mind, I am glad you made the decision that you did.... as you had previously mentioned, your relationship for the last many years has not been romantic at all, in fact she has just been a room-mate that you have had to support with your time and your less than inadequate finances. Hopefully you will help to get her settled elsewhere soon so you can trim that extra and superfluous burden of financial overhead that you can no longer afford... how soon do you think that will be that you can get her settle elsewhere... what do you think??
Just my opinions as a caring friend... that is all.
Thank you so very much for giving us your latest goings-on in your life... for the good news we will rejoice with you, and for the not so good news we can send our support and offer our suggestions if you wish to receive them.
Hugs and well wishes to you as always.
Danielle
Chelsea,
Jayne and Danielle have summed it up perfectly, your getting straight and feeling positive & I would be concentrating on being Chelsea first.
Also although Alivia and yourself truly finished a while ago, she's still at your home for now and it could quickly sour things if she sees you pursuing someone else.
I think there's truth in the saying that true love only finds you when you're not actually looking for it x
Sophie
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
I am glad things are going well and that you are in good spirits, Chelsea. Sorry to hear about your breakup with Alivia, but it is good that you will remain friends.
Listen to Jayne and Danielle about jumping into a new relationship too quickly. I think you probably know the danger already.
Congratulations on getting your friend's loan paid back!
Thank all of you for the reply's. Its not really what I wanted to hear but I know your right. This really sucks, I mean how many more things can possibly go wrong?? It is really ridiculous the amount of things that has happened to me lately.
I will just take it easy and see where it goes with me and Kristen. If anything changes I will let you all know whats going on.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on July 16, 2018, 06:01:29 PM
Thank all of you for the reply's. Its not really what I wanted to hear but I know your right. This really sucks, I mean how many more things can possibly go wrong?? It is really ridiculous the amount of things that has happened to me lately.
I will just take it easy and see where it goes with me and Kristen. If anything changes I will let you all know whats going on.
Hugs,
Chelsea
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea:
Sometimes... as in this time with you.... the best and most well meaning advice is not what one wants to hear. The old saying "no pain, no gain" just might apply here.
Please continue getting all of your issues straightened out.... if you get overwhelmed then just approach each issue One at a Time.,..
We are all rooting for you and please keep keeping on... one step at a time.... you will see progress but just like your HRT, not all at once and not as fast as you would like.
Hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Chelsea on July 16, 2018, 06:01:29 PM
Thank all of you for the reply's. Its not really what I wanted to hear but I know your right. This really sucks, I mean how many more things can possibly go wrong?? It is really ridiculous the amount of things that has happened to me lately.
I will just take it easy and see where it goes with me and Kristen. If anything changes I will let you all know whats going on.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea, do not think of it as something going wrong. Think of it as going about it in a thought out manner. Slow and steady will get you there. It is like when you machine a piece of hardened steel, you make small, incremental adjustments to the machining tool, rather than dive right in and attempt to remove 3" of material in one pass. A high quality product is achieved with a delicate approach.
If anything meaningful is to develop between you and Kristen, it will happen by taking things slowly.
Take care of yourself.
Hugs,
Jayne
Quote from: Jayne01 on July 16, 2018, 06:27:34 PM
Chelsea, do not think of it as something going wrong. Think of it as going about it in a thought out manner. Slow and steady will get you there. It is like when you machine a piece of hardened steel, you make small, incremental adjustments to the machining tool, rather than dive right in and attempt to remove 3" of material in one pass. A high quality product is achieved with a delicate approach.
If anything meaningful is to develop between you and Kristen, it will happen by taking things slowly.
Take care of yourself.
Hugs,
Jayne
Hi Jayne, 18 July 2018
You look absolutely ravishing in your avatar. Fantastic progression.
Hi Chelsea, Still 18 July 2018
Lots of good advice from all the above members. Pay attention to what they are telling you.
Sorry for your breakup; they happen and are a part of reality.
You are on the rebound, not a good time to develop a new love interest. Right now would be a great time to concentrate on reestablishing your business relationships and developing new ones. Without money, dinero, etc. you can't do
squat, (not my choice of word, I prefer
profanity). That should be one of your top priorities. Our lives here at Susan's Place are, to a degree, "Fantasy Land." We exist and live in the real world and that requires work and money.
One nice thing about living in this country: We are free to destroy our own lives by not paying attention to good advice and by making poor choices. I've been there and done that; slowly and fortunately I came to the realization that I was headed for disaster. Before it was too late, I started to pay attention to those with sounder heads than mine. It didn't turn around overnight but did work out very well.
You are quite young and time is still on your side... for the time being; don't waste it because you
cannot get it back.
Still caring for you as much as always; my hope for you is for you to be a success in all aspects of life, To accomplish it, you need to have realistic priorities and they must be in the proper order.
Best Always, All My Love Always,
Christine
PS:
You're free to discard anything and everything I, and everyone else, have said; it's still a free country and it's your choice to make.... :) :) :) You know how to contact me if the need arises.
I figured I would jump in here and give all of you something to laugh about. lol What do I do when I feel like crap?? I go out and buy something to wear.(only $9 for both) I got my very first pink shirt and a cute pair of shorts today and was gonna share. I tried to get more of me in the pic but my arm will only reach so far. Also I wanted to show all of you what happens now when I take the wig off. I know I look completely hideous. This is the first time any of you has seen me without a wig. lol..... My hair has never been over a half inch most of my life and this is all new to me. Its not long enough to put into a ponytail yet so the picture below is what happens. lol About half of it that has receded is growing back and is about 1 inch long already. The rest of my hair is 5 inches now so I cant wait for this stuff to be really long. Everything is so slow and I hate wearing a wig.
(https://i.imgur.com/YuBRNd0.jpg)
Sorry about the Adams apple. It will be gone soon. lol
(https://i.imgur.com/WIrINHD.jpg)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Thanks for sharing Chelsea! Good for you going out and buying some the top and shorts! You are so cute! Love your cheek bones! Your hair is growing! Soon you can style it into what ever cute style you want! You also look so happy!
Hugs,
Kelly
Quote from: islandgirl on July 19, 2018, 05:49:36 PM
Thanks for sharing Chelsea! Good for you going out and buying some the top and shorts! You are so cute! Love your cheek bones! Your hair is growing! Soon you can style it into what ever cute style you want! You also look so happy!
Hugs,
Kelly
Thank you Kelly! I'm a long way from 18 inches and that's my goal. I will feel better once its long enough to curl. I am trying to make myself happy by just staying occupied. I still get down very easy.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on July 19, 2018, 05:37:50 PM
I figured I would jump in here and give all of you something to laugh about. lol What do I do when I feel like crap?? I go out and buy something to wear.(only $9 for both) I got my very first pink shirt and a cute pair of shorts today and was gonna share. I tried to get more of me in the pic but my arm will only reach so far. Also I wanted to show all of you what happens now when I take the wig off. I know I look completely hideous. This is the first time any of you has seen me without a wig. lol..... My hair has never been over a half inch most of my life and this is all new to me. Its not long enough to put into a ponytail yet so the picture below is what happens. lol About half of it that has receded is growing back and is about 1 inch long already. The rest of my hair is 5 inches now so I cant wait for this stuff to be really long. Everything is so slow and I hate wearing a wig.
(https://i.imgur.com/YuBRNd0.jpg)
Sorry about the Adams apple. It will be gone soon. lol
(https://i.imgur.com/WIrINHD.jpg)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Dear Chelsea, 19 July 2018
You are beautiful in both photos. I think you are absolutely stunning in the photo with your natural hair. Quit apologizing for things that don't need any apologies.
If I were a young person, I'd be camping on your door step trying to get a date with you. Fortunately for you, I'm way too old for you; I'm about 53 years older than you look; I'll be 78 in a few days.
Pink is a great color for you; it really adds to your femininity. Please take good care of yourself.
Best Always, All My Love, Always,
Christine
Quote from: christinej78 on July 19, 2018, 06:00:36 PM
Dear Chelsea, 19 July 2018
You are beautiful in both photos. I think you are absolutely stunning in the photo with your natural hair. Quit apologizing for things that don't need any apologies.
If I were a young person, I'd be camping on your door step trying to get a date with you. Fortunately for you, I'm way too old for you; I'm about 53 years older than you look; I'll be 78 in a few days.
Pink is a great color for you; it really adds to your femininity. Please take good care of yourself.
Best Always, All My Love, Always,
Christine
Thank you Christine. I will be a lot happier with my own hair. I just cant do anything with it yet. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea: Hey girl, thanks for your update.... and for posting your pics.... frankly you 2nd picture without the wig is NOT hideous at all, actually a hair stylist might be able to make it look like cute pixie cut at the length that you hair is already.
Your brows and your face look absolutely terrific...
... and for $9 you now have a cute summer outfit.
Consider going to a hair salon and ask what they can do with your hair length the way it is... you just might be surprised... and you might be able to skip the wig... wigs are awfully uncomfortable anyway in any weather... but summer time is brutal.
Again, Chelsea, you are looking very good.... thanks for your update.
Hugs and well wishes as always,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on July 19, 2018, 06:13:38 PM
@Chelsea
Dear Chelsea: Hey girl, thanks for your update.... and for posting your pics.... frankly you 2nd picture without the wig is NOT hideous at all, actually a hair stylist might be able to make it look like cute pixie cut at the length that you hair is already.
Your brows and your face look absolutely terrific...
... and for $9 you now have a cute summer outfit.
Consider going to a hair salon and ask what they can do with your hair length the way it is... you just might be surprised... and you might be able to skip the wig... wigs are awfully uncomfortable anyway in any weather... but summer time is brutal.
Again, Chelsea, you are looking very good.... thanks for your update.
Hugs and well wishes as always,
Danielle
Danielle, I think by the time I'm ready to go out in public it should be long enough. A lot of my hair is coming back and I'm kind of excited if a stylist can fix it to where I can put off my hair transplant for a while?? I really don't want to wear the wig in public anyway. Thank you for posting. :) O..... my brows have never been done yet and the ones in the pics I do with makeup. I cant wait to have them done by a pro.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Shorter hair works pretty well with your face and as long as style pulls your hair forward over your forehead, you should be able to pull male fail off. A pixy might be a little short but I think if your hair is cut right, you can ditch the wig. Seeing you live a somewhat physical life at work a shorter cut might be more practical and a bit cooler.
Hi Girlfriend,
Well what can I say? It already been said the pink top (it's a top not a shirt) and shorts look good on you. Pink is definitely a good color for you. And as been said several times, you look good in Both pictures. There is no "hideous" so lose that word, you are not it. Your own hair though a bit messy looking has real possibilities if you learn how to style it as Dena pointed out. You look cute with the clothes and the color of your own hair.
Hugs,
Laurie
@Chelsea - your natural hair is PERFECT for a pixie cut!!! and you can keep growing it out longer. I'm completely serious - your own hair has got great potential right now for styling. Your brows look great! Love your pink shirt and short shorts!
see here for ideas.
https://thecuddl.com/pixie-haircut-ideas/
Looking good!
Sonja.
Wow Chelsea! You look great in both photos, but I really like your natural look. Wow! I love the color of your hair.
The pink looks good on you! I don't see "hideous" anywhere.
Judi
Quote from: Chelsea on July 19, 2018, 05:37:50 PM
I figured I would jump in here and give all of you something to laugh about. lol What do I do when I feel like crap?? I go out and buy something to wear.(only $9 for both) I got my very first pink shirt and a cute pair of shorts today and was gonna share. I tried to get more of me in the pic but my arm will only reach so far. Also I wanted to show all of you what happens now when I take the wig off. I know I look completely hideous. This is the first time any of you has seen me without a wig. lol..... My hair has never been over a half inch most of my life and this is all new to me. Its not long enough to put into a ponytail yet so the picture below is what happens. lol About half of it that has receded is growing back and is about 1 inch long already. The rest of my hair is 5 inches now so I cant wait for this stuff to be really long. Everything is so slow and I hate wearing a wig.
(https://i.imgur.com/YuBRNd0.jpg)
Sorry about the Adams apple. It will be gone soon. lol
(https://i.imgur.com/WIrINHD.jpg)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Omg Chelsea,
Your face has changed so much, Your looking awesome.
Try and put those self doubts behind you girl.
If my results are as good as yours look I'm going to be bouncing around for joy.
Plus know your pain with the hair, mines the same length and I've just a headband on non stop until it gets longer.
Keep smiling x
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
Quote from: Dena on July 19, 2018, 07:03:41 PM
Shorter hair works pretty well with your face and as long as style pulls your hair forward over your forehead, you should be able to pull male fail off. A pixy might be a little short but I think if your hair is cut right, you can ditch the wig. Seeing you live a somewhat physical life at work a shorter cut might be more practical and a bit cooler.
Thank you Dena,
I think I will keep letting it grow and when I feel ready it might be long enough to do something with.
A few weeks ago you told me about looking in the juniors for clothing and that is where I found these shorts, so I wanted to thank you for the idea.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Laurie on July 19, 2018, 07:34:35 PM
Hi Girlfriend,
Well what can I say? It already been said the pink top (it's a top not a shirt) and shorts look good on you. Pink is definitely a good color for you. And as been said several times, you look good in Both pictures. There is no "hideous" so lose that word, you are not it. Your own hair though a bit messy looking has real possibilities if you learn how to style it as Dena pointed out. You look cute with the clothes and the color of your own hair.
Hugs,
Laurie
Thank you Laurie,
And thank you for correcting me on the TOP. You will have to excuse me for living as a guy for 40 years and its kind of a habit. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Sonja on July 19, 2018, 09:55:33 PM
@Chelsea - your natural hair is PERFECT for a pixie cut!!! and you can keep growing it out longer. I'm completely serious - your own hair has got great potential right now for styling. Your brows look great! Love your pink shirt and short shorts!
see here for ideas.
https://thecuddl.com/pixie-haircut-ideas/
Looking good!
Sonja.
Thank you Sonja, I think I'm just going to let it grow for a while. I still have a while before I'm ready to go full time.
Thank you for the ideas. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea: Be sure to go to the LINK that
@Sonja posted on her reply yesterday...
https://thecuddl.com/pixie-haircut-ideas/
It is amazing what a good hair stylist can do even with very short hair. I would love to see you try one of those types of very cute hair styles with your natural short hair... and get rid of the uncomfortable wig in your hot weather.
Hugs as always,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on July 20, 2018, 09:05:55 AM
@Chelsea
Dear Chelsea: Be sure to go to the LINK that @Sonja posted on her reply yesterday...
https://thecuddl.com/pixie-haircut-ideas/
It is amazing what a good hair stylist can do even with very short hair. I would love to see you try one of those types of very cute hair styles with your natural short hair... and get rid of the uncomfortable wig in your hot weather.
Hugs as always,
Danielle
I did look at them and actually like a few of them. Problem is how can I wear that as a guy? lol I'm still in prison you know with mom. I am excited to have my own hair if i can figure out how to get around mom.
Hugs,
Chelsea
You must have posted the wrong pictures. I didn't see anything hideous looking. I like the progress!
Quote from: maybesoph on July 20, 2018, 02:30:13 AM
Omg Chelsea,
Your face has changed so much, Your looking awesome.
Try and put those self doubts behind you girl.
If my results are as good as yours look I'm going to be bouncing around for joy.
Plus know your pain with the hair, mines the same length and I've just a headband on non stop until it gets longer.
Keep smiling x
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
You just made my day! Thank you so much Sophie. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: JulieAllana on July 20, 2018, 11:41:35 AM
You must have posted the wrong pictures. I didn't see anything hideous looking. I like the progress!
Thank you Julie!
I'm still waiting on you girl. We was supposed to do this together remember? lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
I wasn't expecting to have to wait 2 months for an endo appt.
Quote from: Chelsea on July 19, 2018, 05:37:50 PM
I figured I would jump in here and give all of you something to laugh about. lol What do I do when I feel like crap?? I go out and buy something to wear.(only $9 for both) I got my very first pink shirt and a cute pair of shorts today and was gonna share. I tried to get more of me in the pic but my arm will only reach so far. Also I wanted to show all of you what happens now when I take the wig off. I know I look completely hideous. This is the first time any of you has seen me without a wig. lol..... My hair has never been over a half inch most of my life and this is all new to me. Its not long enough to put into a ponytail yet so the picture below is what happens. lol About half of it that has receded is growing back and is about 1 inch long already. The rest of my hair is 5 inches now so I cant wait for this stuff to be really long. Everything is so slow and I hate wearing a wig.
(https://i.imgur.com/YuBRNd0.jpg)
Sorry about the Adams apple. It will be gone soon. lol
(https://i.imgur.com/WIrINHD.jpg)
Hugs,
Chelsea
You are SO not hideous.
Quote from: Chelsea on July 20, 2018, 11:34:06 AM
I did look at them and actually like a few of them. Problem is how can I wear that as a guy? lol I'm still in prison you know with mom. I am excited to have my own hair if i can figure out how to get around mom.
Hugs,
Chelsea
@Chelsea - You could always do what I did - tell your stylist you want a pixie cut that can also double up as a side part or something similar etc I told him I'm trans and wanted something that would look femme or be styled male if needs be. make sure you have the photos of your favourite styles on your phone - i simply took photos of my screen on the website. He showed me how to style it both ways after he cut it.
Take care,
Sonja.
Quote from: JulieAllana on July 20, 2018, 04:07:30 PM
I wasn't expecting to have to wait 2 months for an endo appt.
Well, I'm happy that you have one now. :)
Quote from: gingerViktorKay on July 20, 2018, 04:16:40 PM
You are SO not hideous.
Thank you so much! I just wish I could see what everyone else does. O and welcome to my silly thread.
Chelsea .. HEY! Nope, I don't know you nor you me. I have perused your thread from time to time though. Like most threads on here, I read but don't reply, not really having anything to contribute and that whole 'I'm a stranger' feeling. Anyway, typically when I quote a reply I trim them down and remove pictures (why inflate the thread with duplicates). In this case I felt it pertinent to include them because the photos are totally worthy and pertinent to the thread and my reply with it.
I am at the top of the list of people that hate pictures of themselves and/or mirrors. I know exactly where you are coming from when you say, "wish I could see what everyone else does". I felt I had to reply and agree with what others have stated, you look great in both of those pictures. I don't see the guy in them at all. In fact, I see a
very pretty girl.
OH, I am with the 'natural hair' crowd. The wig is nice but something in the way your own hair looks suits you very well.
I rambled a bit, sorry, it's what I do, I lost track of my thoughts a few times in here and kept going with a new line. Oh well :P
Quote from: Chelsea on July 19, 2018, 05:37:50 PM
I figured I would jump in here and give all of you something to laugh about. lol What do I do when I feel like crap?? I go out and buy something to wear.(only $9 for both) I got my very first pink shirt and a cute pair of shorts today and was gonna share. I tried to get more of me in the pic but my arm will only reach so far. Also I wanted to show all of you what happens now when I take the wig off. I know I look completely hideous. This is the first time any of you has seen me without a wig. lol..... My hair has never been over a half inch most of my life and this is all new to me. Its not long enough to put into a ponytail yet so the picture below is what happens. lol About half of it that has receded is growing back and is about 1 inch long already. The rest of my hair is 5 inches now so I cant wait for this stuff to be really long. Everything is so slow and I hate wearing a wig.
(https://i.imgur.com/YuBRNd0.jpg)
Sorry about the Adams apple. It will be gone soon. lol
(https://i.imgur.com/WIrINHD.jpg)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Faith on July 20, 2018, 07:14:50 PM
Chelsea .. HEY! Nope, I don't know you nor you me. I have perused your thread from time to time though. Like most threads on here, I read but don't reply, not really having anything to contribute and that whole 'I'm a stranger' feeling. Anyway, typically when I quote a reply I trim them down and remove pictures (why inflate the thread with duplicates). In this case I felt it pertinent to include them because the photos are totally worthy and pertinent to the thread and my reply with it.
I am at the top of the list of people that hate pictures of themselves and/or mirrors. I know exactly where you are coming from when you say, "wish I could see what everyone else does". I felt I had to reply and agree with what others have stated, you look great in both of those pictures. I don't see the guy in them at all. In fact, I see a very pretty girl.
OH, I am with the 'natural hair' crowd. The wig is nice but something in the way your own hair looks suits you very well.
I rambled a bit, sorry, it's what I do, I lost track of my thoughts a few times in here and kept going with a new line. Oh well :P
Faith,
Thank you so much. That is very sweet of you. I see right through the makeup and wig. To me I look like a guy with makeup on. I'm not as bad now as I was 4 months ago. I look back now at some of the early pictures I posted and get embarrassed lol. Welcome to my crazy thread. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Looking good Chelsea. Love the changes I'm seeing. I think the shorter hair in a cute cut would look very nice. I've started growing out my hair and love doing a spiky style but for now I've switched to shorter hair wigs and I'm loving it and the compliments. Keep
Up the efforts dear
You wrote, "I look back now at some of the early pictures I posted and get embarrassed lol."
Don't we all! Better days are coming Chelsea! We can see it in you.
Judi
I'm the same way with older pictures, I barely even recognize the person in them. Which I suppose is good, it means we've made progress!
And you don't look like a guy in makeup AT ALL without the wig, your hair is super cute. I wish I had more on top at the moment for no wig to even remotely be an option for me.
Well Alivia has gotten in touch with her family in Alabama and has made arrangements to leave here Saturday. Shes going to have a place to stay with her aunt for a while so she will be in good hands. I still care a great deal about her but I know its the best thing to let her go. I have for the last 4 hours been crying thinking about 10 years of history with her. I don't mind being single for a little while but as I have said before I am a very lonely person anyway. I have anxiety already because I know whats coming after she leaves.
Now I am worried about myself. I know I will just work through the financial issues I have so I'm ok there. I see a lot of transgenders that are single. I don't know why but its scary to me. Once I do go full time, how am I going to meet anyone? I get hit on often on Facebook but they are all guys. I'm not into guys so there is another problem. Maybe I'm over thinking this because I am stressed, I don't know. I guess I'm just being a wimp today. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on July 21, 2018, 02:53:51 PM
Well Alivia has gotten in touch with her family in Alabama and has made arrangements to leave here Saturday. Shes going to have a place to stay with her aunt for a while so she will be in good hands. I still care a great deal about her but I know its the best thing to let her go. I have for the last 4 hours been crying thinking about 10 years of history with her. I don't mind being single for a little while but as I have said before I am a very lonely person anyway. I have anxiety already because I know whats coming after she leaves.
Now I am worried about myself. I know I will just work through the financial issues I have so I'm ok there. I see a lot of transgenders that are single. I don't know why but its scary to me. Once I do go full time, how am I going to meet anyone? I get hit on often on Facebook but they are all guys. I'm not into guys so there is another problem. Maybe I'm over thinking this because I am stressed, I don't know. I guess I'm just being a wimp today. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea: I am so glad to read your update... and very glad that you are making certain that Alivia has her move back to Alabama arranged with her aunt. Oh yeah, no matter how bad the last several years have been, breaking up is hard to do.... as the oldies song says.
Oh yeah, I am single too, and have been single most of my life, but I have made certain that I extend my friendship to all around me and am actively building relationships, acquaintances, friendships, romantic friends, etc..... in other words, I do not wait for people to come to me. An adage that my good friend and member here on the Forums...
@Jessica has this on her profile:
"
"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."I am very happy to hear that you are feeling good about getting your finances back in order...
Stay strong, keep on keeping on.... and this next thing is very important ...
"
Positive Mindset... put away negativity" (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,238255.0.html)
Thank you for keeping us all up to date.
Hugs and always wishing you the best,
Danielle
Chealsea, don't stress about how things will work out. They will work out.
Breaking up is hard to do, but it sounds like you are accepting it with a positive attitude and good wishes for Alivia.
I am glad to hear you sounding positive about your financial issues. You will work through them, I have no doubt about that.
Being single is an opportunity to learn about yourself. You can experiment will all kinds of presentations, attitudes, activities and friendships without worrying about accommodating a partner. The best way to attract a compatible partner is to be the best you that you can be, and being single is your opportunity to work on that.
I have no doubt that you will take these changes in stride as they happen. You are stronger than you think.
Big hugs Chelsea, we all feel the pain that our sisters and brothers go through, especially during relationships taking a different road.
How does one re-establish a social life that has never been established?
Social skills need learning, connections found.
Are the choices I make safe when reaching out?
These are dilemmas that young women, growing and learning about the world, go through.
But the social need is strong for a healthy life, so you learn the best you can.
Cues from peers and role models shaped most of our outwards self, whereas the inner most self is struggling to find the connections that make it fluid in manner and panache.
By the way your newest pics have style and confidence!
Bigger hug, Jessica
Huge hugs, Chelsea. You are - and you will be OK.
Quote from: Chelsea on July 21, 2018, 02:53:51 PM
Well Alivia has gotten in touch with her family in Alabama and has made arrangements to leave here Saturday. Shes going to have a place to stay with her aunt for a while so she will be in good hands. I still care a great deal about her but I know its the best thing to let her go. I have for the last 4 hours been crying thinking about 10 years of history with her. I don't mind being single for a little while but as I have said before I am a very lonely person anyway. I have anxiety already because I know whats coming after she leaves.
If I may, I suggest the emotions you're feeling are grief - and I can personally attest they can be devastating and freeze you in space and time. Allow yourself time to mourn and sort everything out; there is no timetable or gatekeeper here.
While most think of grief in terms of death of a loved one, it can effect anyone who goes through a divorce, has a break-up, suffers a severe accident or faces some other life-changing trauma. The fact that her leaving is effecting you as deeply as it is means that although the relationship has changed, there may always be an Alivia sized hole in your heart; it just takes a bit of time to build a bridge over the space. When the bridge is in place, you'll feel free to live again.
As hard as it is for you to see Alivia leaving you have the comfort and solace of knowing she will be safe and protected. Talk to your counselor or find a good book on the subject - there are many fine titles out there and not all are "faith" based.
No, I am not an expert; this is from experience after losing my bride to the dreaded Big C 8 years ago. YMMV.
Take heart, sweet Chelsea, your journey will go on.
Susan
Chelsea I know it's hard to envision a life without Alivia but as George Harrison wrote in one of my favorite songs.
"Sunrise doesn't last all morning
A cloudburst doesn't last all day
Seems my love is up and has left you with no warning
It's not always going to be this grey
All things must pass
All things must pass away
Sunset doesn't last all evening
A mind can blow those clouds away
After all this, my love is up and must be leaving
It's not always going to be this grey
All things must pass
All things must pass away
All things must pass
None of life's strings can last
So, I must be on my way
And face another day
Now the darkness only stays the night-time
In the morning it will fade away
Daylight is good at arriving at the right time
It's not always going to be this grey
All things must pass
All things must pass away"
You will do fine. You have proven to be a strong and resilient person in the face of adversity. You may not think so but we can all see it in you. The dark clouds will soon pass you too.
Love to you, Judi
Quote from: Chelsea on July 21, 2018, 02:53:51 PM
Well Alivia has gotten in touch with her family in Alabama and has made arrangements to leave here Saturday. Shes going to have a place to stay with her aunt for a while so she will be in good hands. I still care a great deal about her but I know its the best thing to let her go. I have for the last 4 hours been crying thinking about 10 years of history with her. I don't mind being single for a little while but as I have said before I am a very lonely person anyway. I have anxiety already because I know whats coming after she leaves.
Now I am worried about myself. I know I will just work through the financial issues I have so I'm ok there. I see a lot of transgenders that are single. I don't know why but its scary to me. Once I do go full time, how am I going to meet anyone? I get hit on often on Facebook but they are all guys. I'm not into guys so there is another problem. Maybe I'm over thinking this because I am stressed, I don't know. I guess I'm just being a wimp today. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
Dear Chelsea, 21 July 2018
I'll keep it short; most here know I'm MTF transsexual. My counselor told me in no uncertain term that I am not gay. She said I have a strong attraction to women. That makes me a lesbian and I am thankful for that. I cannot imagine having an intimate relationship with a man. With a trans or cis female, that would be fantastic.
I know what men are like and I don't like the way they are. I "were" one once upon a time and don't like the repressed thoughts of the way he "were."
Listen to your heart, but wait until the mourning period has ended; you will know when that happens and that's when you will be able to think clearly. The amount of time varies for each individual.
Please take care of yourself.
Best Always, All My Love, Always,
Christine
"the Bloody ol Nag" that keeps nagging like a UTI keeps dripping; an irritant if you will; I truly mean well for you. You will be fine because you are fine.
OH where, OH where is our beloved Chelsea? ???
I hope and trust that you are doing well with all that you are dealing with in your life.
Your followers and readers of your thread are in desperate need of an UPDATE from you....
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Yes Chelsea
I totally second this girl, your friends are worried about you xx
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
Dear Chelsea,
I am sorry I have not kept up with your thread over the past few weeks. I have been away and I am now trying to catch up with all my friends here at Susan's.
So much has happened in my absence. I love the two photos you posted. The photo with your natural hair is my favourite. I even kind of like the messy look. There is great potential for some styling with what you have already. No need to wait for it to get longer. And there is definitely no evidence of any males in any of your photos. You look completely feminine and very beautiful.
I am sorry you have started to feel down with Alivia moving out. This was expected. As others have already posted, you are experiencing grief. This will take time for you to work through. It is different for everyone, so there is no set time. I might suggest to try not to worry yourself about any future relationships. That is something that can wait until after you are done processing your grief. In the meantime, work on Chelsea. Explore what works and what doesn't work with styles of clothing and hair. You have said that your mother does not want to see you as Chelsea. That is tough. You can however find styles that are androgynous, for both your hair and clothing. Speak to a hairstylist to learn what can be done with your hair so that you can style it male or female depending on how you need to present.
You are making incredible progress so far. Keep up your hard work and maintain a positive mindset. You will be ok, better than ok. You are already great and will be awesome!
Hang in there.
Also, you are probably not really feeling like posting any updates right now, but if you can, please post a quick update to let us all know that you are ok.
Hugs,
Jayne
Hi everyone! Is there any Chelsea fans still hanging around? I have had a few emails from members wondering where Ive been so I just popped in to let you all know. I have plenty of time to post the nest few days but I will get to that in a moment. The two main reasons I have not posted in three weeks is I have been working long hours and the second I really do not have anything good to report with the exception of I love how I'm starting to look. Peanut butter and jelly is doing me good. ;D Ive not done any measurements of my body yet so I might just skip the 5 month update and wait till next month.
All of you might remember I painted my brothers red mustang a couple months ago? Last week something fell on the hood and damaged it pretty bad so I repaired it for him. Late yesterday I was just finishing the final clear coat on it and tripped on the stupid air hose and fell. I hurt my back pretty bad and cannot walk with out someone helping me so that's why I'm laying here in bed typing this now. Good news is I'm getting a little rest but bad is I cant work for a few days. lol My luck never ends.
I have hurt my back in the past so I know I will be OK in a few days. I'm alive and tiring to stay in good spirits even though its hard sometimes. I will post more as soon as I have some good news for you girls and there will have to be some soon. It don't get much worse. lol
Hugs to everyone.
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on August 08, 2018, 06:53:41 PM
Hi everyone! Is there any Chelsea fans still hanging around? I have had a few emails from members wondering where Ive been so I just popped in to let you all know. I have plenty of time to post the nest few days but I will get to that in a moment. The two main reasons I have not posted in three weeks is I have been working long hours and the second I really do not have anything good to report with the exception of I love how I'm starting to look. Peanut butter and jelly is doing me good. ;D Ive not done any measurements of my body yet so I might just skip the 5 month update and wait till next month.
All of you might remember I painted my brothers red mustang a couple months ago? Last week something fell on the hood and damaged it pretty bad so I repaired it for him. Late yesterday I was just finishing the final clear coat on it and tripped on the stupid air hose and fell. I hurt my back pretty bad and cannot walk with out someone helping me so that's why I'm laying here in bed typing this now. Good news is I'm getting a little rest but bad is I cant work for a few days. lol My luck never ends.
I have hurt my back in the past so I know I will be OK in a few days. I'm alive and tiring to stay in good spirits even though its hard sometimes. I will post more as soon as I have some good news for you girls and there will have to be some soon. It don't get much worse. lol
Hugs to everyone.
Chelsea
@Chelsea
SHE'S BACK!!!Hi Chelsea,
Nice to hear from you, sorry about your back but at least you get to sit and read all the updates on Susan's!
I just had to work till 3am because one of my clients f###ed up their planning permission and for some reason it was left to me to fix.. Ggrrrr....anyway, taking a break now....just like you ;)
Take care,
Sonja
Hey Chelsea!
Welcome back. We missed you. Sorry you got injured. I hope you feel better soon.
It's very nice to hear that you are in good spirits. Please keep your updates coming. It doesn't always have to be good news that you write about. We love to hear the good news, but are also here to support you through the not so good times.
Rest up and get well soon.
Hugs,
Jayne
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea: It is great to see your re-arrival here on the forums. Your readers and followers have been concerned for you since you went silent for 3 weeks.
You have a lot of folks here on the Forums that truly care about you and your well-being.
Your 5 month update will certainly be exciting... are you going to that show you had talked about in some of your posts a couple months ago. After 5 months of HRT you might want to consider going as Chelsea in female mode otherwise how do you explain your boobs!!! LOL
Sorry to hear about the hood that you had painted and now just repaired... and now with tripping over the air hose and hurting your back.... you could probably blame the hormones if you want to.
Yes, we all will want to read and see your next HRT update. We are you biggest fans...
We are all rooting for you.
Oh, by the way, I love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Stay as positive as you can and please come back to your thread very soon or else we will come looking for you.
Hugs and hugs and well wishes,
Danielle***NOTE: It is indeed great to see you on here again, please don't be a stranger and don't disappear anytime soon.
.
.
Hi Chelsea, thanks for the update! Sorry you got hurt.
I'm no stranger to painting. When I build a plane I have to paint it, so I've got two HVLP systems and a homebrew paint booth. Before I went to waterborne urethanes I had to drag around not just the feed hose, but the breather, too. It's a wonder I didn't kill myself or put a hole in a plane trying to navigate the tangle. I've gone from a turbine to a compressor-based system, so now I only have the one small feed hose to drag around, but it's still always in the way or tangling on the rotisserie. When are they going to invent hoseless sprayers like we now have cordless drills?
Get well soon!
Stephanie
Thank you girls. I have missed you all. :)
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on August 08, 2018, 07:15:39 PM
@Chelsea
Dear Chelsea: It is great to see your re-arrival here on the forums. Your readers and followers have been concerned for you since you went silent for 3 weeks.
You have a lot of folks here on the Forums that truly care about you and your well-being.
Your 5 month update will certainly be exciting... are you going to that show you had talked about in some of your posts a couple months ago. After 5 months of HRT you might want to consider going as Chelsea in female mode otherwise how do you explain your boobs!!! LOL
Sorry to hear about the hood that you had painted and now just repaired... and now with tripping over the air hose and hurting your back.... you could probably blame the hormones if you want to.
Yes, we all will want to read and see your next HRT update. We are you biggest fans...
We are all rooting for you.
Oh, by the way, I love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Stay as positive as you can and please come back to your thread very soon or else we will come looking for you.
Hugs and hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
***NOTE: It is indeed great to see you on here again, please don't be a stranger and don't disappear anytime soon.
.
.
Danielle I have no idea. I have had two people this week that has not seen me in a long time. One ask me why my face looks so soft and young and the other one I could tell was looking at me a little odd. She kept looking at my face and when I would talk to her she would look away. I felt kind of weird. There is no way this is happening already is it?
I already walk different tiring to hide the girls. Im starting to get worried because I cant come out yet. I like that its working so good but I feel like people are looking at me different than before. I get paranoid in stores now. lol
It does make me nervous.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on August 08, 2018, 07:32:11 PM
Danielle I have no idea. I have had two people this week that has not seen me in a long time. One ask me why my face looks so soft and young and the other one I could tell was looking at me a little odd. She kept looking at my face and when I would talk to her she would look away. I felt kind of weird. There is no way this is happening already is it?
I already walk different tiring to hide the girls. Im starting to get worried because I cant come out yet. I like that its working so good but I feel like people are looking at me different than before. I get paranoid in stores now. lol
It does make me nervous.
Hugs,
Chelsea
@Chelsea
Is it possible that your longer hair is causing people to think to themselves 'why do you look different'? I'm growing my hair longer at the moment and I see people I know stare a tiny bit longer than normal - theyre trying to figure out whats different about me (not on hrt atm)
Sonja.
Quote from: Sonja on August 08, 2018, 07:42:04 PM
@Chelsea
Is it possible that your longer hair is causing people to think to themselves 'why do you look different'? I'm growing my hair longer at the moment and I see people I know stare a tiny bit longer than normal - theyre trying to figure out whats different about me (not on hrt atm)
Sonja.
I think its more my face. It has changed a lot faster than I thought it would. Cant stop it now. lol
Its is going to be interesting and scary. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
mmm, I like PB&J too. Had one for lunch on Monday!
I think your face will fill out a bit on estrogen (mine did) and that alone will trigger questions and looks. Don't get paranoid. You own this and are on your way. Enjoy it.
I'm sorry to hear you're laid up. Please be careful in the shop. I know its easy to get distracted and trip. I circled around and wrapped the hose around my leg at my last session in November which caused me to fall back against the booth wall. No damage but it woke me up.
Thanks for the update. Don't be so long next time. Even a little news is welcome!
Judi
Quote from: Chelsea on August 08, 2018, 07:32:11 PM
Danielle I have no idea. I have had two people this week that has not seen me in a long time. One ask me why my face looks so soft and young and the other one I could tell was looking at me a little odd. She kept looking at my face and when I would talk to her she would look away. I felt kind of weird. There is no way this is happening already is it?
I already walk different tiring to hide the girls. Im starting to get worried because I cant come out yet. I like that its working so good but I feel like people are looking at me different than before. I get paranoid in stores now. lol
It does make me nervous.
Hugs,
Chelsea
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea:Welcome to the world of transtioning that most of us that follow your thread are experiencing. Yes indeed, at about a half year into HRT many have reported breast growth that is difficult to hide. It is very exciting for sure.
I was at a full A cup at just 6 months and at the year mark I was close to a B cup.
I am happy for you and for your HRT progess, please keep the reports coming, keep working on your finances and family issues .... and KEEP posting your updates on here..... PLEASE.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Nice to hear from you, Chelsea.
I am sorry you hurt your back and that you cannot work but at least you can get plenty of rest after working those long hours.
Please try not to worry about what people may think due to your HRT physical changes; I know it is difficult to ignore the matter completely but you are on your way to living as the woman you were always meant to be. Take heart and enjoy the ride.
Hugs to you
Pamela
Chelsea, thank you for updating your thread. I am sorry to hear about your back injury. Hopefully, it will be okay in a few days.
I am not surprised that you are getting reactions from other people. As we have been telling you for a while, you are beautiful. Continuing to present as male must be difficult.
I am glad the PBJ diet is working for you.
Hi Chelsea,
Glad that your ok, well apart from your back x.
Been wondering if you're ok after all that's happened so really am relieved that you've replied again.
Fall is just around the corner so might make it easier hiding your new developments under loose clothing, hopefully that'll give you more time to prepare for the bright future you face.
Glad your back
Sophie
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
Wow that's terrible to hear. Is the car ok?? ;-) Just kidding...but you know that. Hope you feel better soon.
Back in May I told my nieces Joni and Beth about me transitioning. That was just about 4 months ago. I don't know if you girls remember but this morning Beth came over to check on me because I hurt my back. I told her on May 5th and she has not seen me sense then until today. The very first words out of her mouth was " OMG you look just like a girl! " I was in full guy mode with my pj's on no makeup, hair a mess and all. She ask if anyone else had said anything yet and I told her about the funny looks I got a couple times. Is it possible that I'm getting close to male fail this early? Either way with back pain and all that made my day. She might have just been trying to make me feel good I don't know. It worked cause I cried for 10 minuets lol.
I just wanted to share the experience with her this morning. No matter how bad I'm having it right now I am so happy with my results so far. Those little blue pills are amazing.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Definitely possible, it sneaks up on you. I've gotten it a few times now though it usually doesn't last.
The very first words out of her mouth was " OMG you look just like a girl! "
Believe it! It does sneak up and others that see you infrequently will certainly know something is up.
Rest well!
Judi
Quote from: Chelsea on August 09, 2018, 10:16:34 AM
Back in May I told my nieces Joni and Beth about me transitioning. That was just about 4 months ago. I don't know if you girls remember but this morning Beth came over to check on me because I hurt my back. I told her on May 5th and she has not seen me sense then until today. The very first words out of her mouth was " OMG you look just like a girl! " I was in full guy mode with my pj's on no makeup, hair a mess and all. She ask if anyone else had said anything yet and I told her about the funny looks I got a couple times. Is it possible that I'm getting close to male fail this early? Either way with back pain and all that made my day. She might have just been trying to make me feel good I don't know. It worked cause I cried for 10 minuets lol.
I just wanted to share the experience with her this morning. No matter how bad I'm having it right now I am so happy with my results so far. Those little blue pills are amazing.
Hugs,
Chelsea
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea:Aside from other life issues that are on your mind, this update of yours is wonderful to read. Your experience of being misgendered and male-fail is an important milestone in your early journey.
It is as
@JudiBlueEyes stated in her reply post:
"Believe it! It does sneak up and others that see you infrequently will certainly know something is up." So, i am still wondering if you are going to that car show this month ??? I would imagine that you might consider going as Chelsea ... just look in the mirror... male-fail will start becoming more common as you are out and about.
Thanks you again for keeping your thread alive with your recent postings....
Hugs and well wishes as always,
Danielle
Girls there is something very very heavy on my mind. This might not be the right place and I hope that it does not offend any of you. I was told by a few people today that are trans that after two years of hormones your "parts" i will call them will not function at all anymore. Yes I know most of you don't care and want the thing gone as fast as you can but I am different just like each person. If this is true then I have a life changing decision to make very soon. I have no interest in transitioning into a girl or staying a guy if this is true and I sincerely mean this with the bottom of my heart. Porn stars do this everyday and some are in their 50's. Someone please tell me that's BS. We all have things that are life depending important to us and I have mine. Please do not judge me because of this. I am a very sweet person and need to know.
Chelsea.
Quote from: Chelsea on August 09, 2018, 01:39:53 PM
Girls there is something very very heavy on my mind. This might not be the right place and I hope that it does not offend any of you. I was told by a few people today that are trans that after two years of hormones your "parts" i will call them will not function at all anymore. Yes I know most of you don't care and want the thing gone as fast as you can but I am different just like each person. If this is true then I have a life changing decision to make very soon. I have no interest in transitioning into a girl or staying a guy if this is true and I sincerely mean this with the bottom of my heart. Porn stars do this everyday and some are in their 50's. Someone please tell me that's BS. We all have things that are life depending important to us and I have mine. Please do not judge me because of this. I am a very sweet person and need to know.
Chelsea.
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea:
I obviously can not tell you what will happen in your body, you should pose that question and discussion
with your HRT doctor.
I can however tell you about my experience. At about 6 to 7 months of HRT I could no longer have an erection, no morning wood, no nothing!!!
Many trans-women....pre-transition or early transistioners will go to a sperm bank while things are still working so later on if they wish to father a child it will then be possible.
On the other hand I have heard of some late transistion trans-women that are still able to have penetrative sex and active sperm.... so again, to get the correct information for you specifically, your body and your HRT regimen.... you certainly need to talk to your HRT doctor.
I hope this helps, please do not rely on hearsay or non-medical advice or others reported experiences.... you have your own unique body. Talk to your doctor.... please.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
God I hope not. But as my luck goes your probably right. Its pretty damn hard to shoot pool with a rope.
I called the doctor today and she said it depends on the person that everyone is different. Hope nobody thinks differently of me because im the same person. I got called a few bad names on Facebook about the same thing but its my life and i will do with it what I need to to be happy.
Quote from: Chelsea on August 09, 2018, 01:39:53 PM
Girls there is something very very heavy on my mind. This might not be the right place and I hope that it does not offend any of you. I was told by a few people today that are trans that after two years of hormones your "parts" i will call them will not function at all anymore. Yes I know most of you don't care and want the thing gone as fast as you can but I am different just like each person. If this is true then I have a life changing decision to make very soon. I have no interest in transitioning into a girl or staying a guy if this is true and I sincerely mean this with the bottom of my heart. Porn stars do this everyday and some are in their 50's. Someone please tell me that's BS. We all have things that are life depending important to us and I have mine. Please do not judge me because of this. I am a very sweet person and need to know.
Chelsea.
Honestly, it's baloney! It really does depend on the individual. I'm a tiny bit over 2 year in and still fucntional. Granted the mood needs to be there for anything to rise to the occasion, but all the plumbing works.
Unfortunately there is no hard and fast answer since we are all different. The said, there are enough cases where function is maintained, albeit at a different level (as Amberwaves noted). I would certainly not stress over this. Live your life as you want and deal with things as they arise.
Judi
Thank you Judi, Amber, Danielle. I really hope I did not offend anyone with that post. Im the same person. I thought I was getting the emotional part under control but today I have been a mess. Laying here in bed with nothing to do but think about stuff makes it worse, Plus I got called disgusting buy a couple people on FaceBook. No worries though I'm tough because I have to be.
Hugs,
Chelsea
No offense taken!
"No worries though I'm tough because I have to be." Atta Girl! Thats the attitude.
Judi
Hi Chelsea,
No offence taken at all. Nobody here is judging you. It is your life and we all love you for who you are. Personally, I have no use for that thing but you are your own person and have your own requirements. The comments you got on Facebook are not from people I would call friends.
As for your question about function, we are all different and proper medical advice is the best option. I have read reports from people that they have maintained function many years after HRT. Some have said they need a little extra help from a different kind of blue pill, like viagra, but aside from that everything still works. If you are considering children, then freezing some sperm may be something for you to look into sooner rather than later.
Good luck with this part of your journey.
Oh, and congratulations on the male fail comments from your niece. It feels nice, doesn't it!
Hugs,
Jayne
Quote from: Chelsea on August 09, 2018, 06:17:39 PM
Thank you Judi, Amber, Danielle. I really hope I did not offend anyone with that post. Im the same person. I thought I was getting the emotional part under control but today I have been a mess. Laying here in bed with nothing to do but think about stuff makes it worse, Plus I got called disgusting buy a couple people on FaceBook. No worries though I'm tough because I have to be.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Anyone trans who judges you for that is a gatekeeping jerk and not worthy of your time anymore than TERFs and other transphobes are. You do what is right for you, end of story.
As for time line, I'm going on 8 months and everything still works, just not a lot of interest. I mean, I guess it really comes down to are you talking about kids or sex. I doubt I could effectively bank anything (or that it would be viable) at this point, but... it works. And continues to work for many people, particularly with the aid of medicine or low levels of Progesterone or even T.
Congratulations Chelsea on the malefail - it will creep up on you gradually - but when it happens it is a wonderful feeling, isn't it?
Noone on Susans should judge for anything and your view on function is shared by many. Personally I have lost function and am happy with that but all you can do is what you have done already which is to maintain communication with your doctor and if you were to feel loss of function pending, your doctor should be able to prescribe suitable medication to prevent.
Wishing you well as always. Hugs to you.
Pamela
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea:Please read carefully at all of your recent replies relating to your concern about your male bits.
It should be apparent to you now that there is not a standard answer to your question.... as you read, for some (including myself) function was all but lost at the 6 month point of HRT, for others they reported that they still have function... that is why I strongly suggested that more conversation with YOUR doctor is required if you want a medically accurate answer specific to you.
For many of us trans-women the loss of male function is usually a blessing but for others it like yourself it is an obviously an important issue. Your doctor is where you will get the answer that you require.
Please, no embarrassment, no offense taken, none of that here, you are among like-mind friends here that are on the same journey that you have embarked on. We are all together on this...
Thank you for sharing your thoughts...
again, no embarrassment, no offense taken by any of us.
Hugs,
Danielle
Thank you every one. I'm fine for now and everything works fine. Those same girls that called me disgusting told me good luck that its going to stop no matter who you are and I freaked out. lol I will just have to wait and see.
I so need to get back to work. Been in bed for 4 days now but I can walk a little. Far from hard work though.
I appreciate all of the input!
Hugs,
Chelsea
Welcome to the bad back club, had a back massage and reflexology yesterday and jumping around like a spring lamb today not the cripple hobbling around yesterday. Just a thought to help you out.
Quote from: davina61 on August 10, 2018, 04:14:53 PM
Welcome to the bad back club, had a back massage and reflexology yesterday and jumping around like a spring lamb today not the cripple hobbling around yesterday. Just a thought to help you out.
Yeah honey I had two bulging disc three years ago. I was out of work for 6 months. I had that epidural steroid injection in my back.....did nothing. I went to the chiropractor 18 times at $55 a pop and had to stop because of money. I walked with a limp for a year and a half after that. The doctor said that is wasn't bad enough for a operation so I suffered.
After a year and a half of that one Saturday morning I got out of bed and It never bothered me again. I know that sounds weird but it happened. So I feel your pain! I know back pain all to well. lol
Hugs
Chelsea
Ok today is the day girls. My niece Joni has agreed to get ready with me and go out tonight as Chelsea and actually go into some places. I have got to get this over with. Ive just been on hormones for 5 months but its eating at me. I can do this.
I'm so scared. My hands are shaking and sweaty just form thinking about it. Wish me luck everyone.
God I'm going to die. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on August 11, 2018, 07:16:39 PM
Ok today is the day girls. My niece Joni has agreed to get ready with me and go out tonight as Chelsea and actually go into some places. I have got to get this over with. Ive just been on hormones for 5 months but its eating at me. I can do this.
I'm so scared. My hands are shaking and sweaty just form thinking about it. Wish me luck everyone.
God I'm going to die. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
@Chelsea Dear ChelseaWow-Whee... this is excellent and exciting news.... obviously now we will all want to see pictures.
Obviously, only if you feel comfortable posting pictures.
Your readers and followers are all eager to read (and possibly see) your update after your night out as Chelsea.
Hugs,
Danielle
With Joni looking out you will do fine. I know it. You'll have fun. Relax!
Judi
I made it back and a great time. I did go in public finally and it took me a while to get me out of the car. It was just a Family Dollar store but hey I did it. Joni walked a little bit behind me to see if anyone was paying any attention. I only noticed a couple people look but it was just a second and it wasn't a weird look. I was nervous but tried my best not to show it as best I could. After I got back to the car I got sick from my nerves and just about lost my dinner no joke. It was scary enough that I'm not looking forward in doing it again for a little while. lol
The most fun was when we got back to Joni's place and yes Danielle I took a few pics for you, even some silly snap chat ones. I just didn't wear the choker because I think it draws attention to me. I will get rid of the adams apple as soon as I can but Im starting to accept that it is what it is. Im just ready to be myself. Seems like it gets a little worse every day. When I say worse I mean I want to be Chelsea full time more every day and Im about to go ahead and just do it.
Hugs!
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/HPDS8Zi.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/kR11Gz5.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/MApG3UC.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/8Fie4hS.jpg)
Yeah Chelsea!!! Congratulations, what a big step forward for you. I am proud of you for mastering this important milestone. Having had you niece around to support you was great and surely made it a bit easier. Glad you have such great support.
As usual you do look fantastic in your pictures
Hugs, Sarah
Quote from: Chelsea on August 12, 2018, 01:27:29 AM
I made it back and a great time. I did go in public finally and it took me a while to get me out of the car. It was just a Family Dollar store but hey I did it. Joni walked a little bit behind me to see if anyone was paying any attention. I only noticed a couple people look but it was just a second and it wasn't a weird look. I was nervous but tried my best not to show it as best I could. After I got back to the car I got sick from my nerves and just about lost my dinner no joke. It was scary enough that I'm not looking forward in doing it again for a little while. lol
The most fun was when we got back to Joni's place and yes Danielle I took a few pics for you, even some silly snap chat ones. I just didn't wear the choker because I think it draws attention to me. I will get rid of the adams apple as soon as I can but Im starting to accept that it is what it is. Im just ready to be myself. Seems like it gets a little worse every day. When I say worse I mean I want to be Chelsea full time more every day and Im about to go ahead and just do it.
Hugs!
Chelsea
Looks pretty lady-like to me :)
Congratz!
Quote from: Chelsea on August 12, 2018, 01:27:29 AM
I made it back and a great time. I did go in public finally and it took me a while to get me out of the car. It was just a Family Dollar store but hey I did it. Joni walked a little bit behind me to see if anyone was paying any attention. I only noticed a couple people look but it was just a second and it wasn't a weird look. I was nervous but tried my best not to show it as best I could. After I got back to the car I got sick from my nerves and just about lost my dinner no joke. It was scary enough that I'm not looking forward in doing it again for a little while. lol ...<snip> ...
Chelsea, I remember those first steps well, it wasn't that long ago. I can relate (as most here can) very well to that feeling. I am Faith almost 24/7 (who am I kidding, I am 24/7 now) and I still have those anxiety moments. Sometimes I look forward to them, it means I'm trying something new.
You should look forward to each anxious outing, it actually a great feeling :D
Faith
ps, you look great in the photos. I'm not a fan of the snapchat pics, they hide too much of you.
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea:
It was so very nice to see and to read your last update....
Thank you for including your latest pictures.
I am so glad that you had a good time and that your bravery about going out and about as Chelsea seemed to increase your desire to venture out more. It is good that your niece Joni was your helper in that regard.
I will be looking forward to more good news updates from you as you feel free to post more.
Hugs,
Danielle
You look beautiful and I am glad you went out in public.
The first few times are the most difficult. Then gradually is gets more and more comfortable.
Congratulations.
Thanks ladies. This has made me just want to come out even more. Yeah I did it but Im still not ready. Joni wanted to fix my natural hair and told me I could go to Walmart without makeup and pass. She must be crazy because there is no way. lol I really had a great time. If it wasn't for Joni and Beth pulling me out of the car it would not have happened.
Joni told me not to make eye contact so you would have thought I had a movie playing on my feet. I didnt think at 46 years old the hormones would have done a lot but I'm so happy with the way its going! lol I do appreciate the sweet comments girls so thank you!
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on August 12, 2018, 10:07:48 AM
Thanks ladies. This has made me just want to come out even more. Yeah I did it but Im still not ready. Joni wanted to fix my natural hair and told me I could go to Walmart without makeup and pass. She must be crazy because there is no way. lol I really had a great time. If it wasn't for Joni and Beth pulling me out of the car it would not have happened.
Joni told me not to make eye contact so you would have thought I had a movie playing on my feet. I didnt think at 46 years old the hormones would have dont a lot but I'm so happy with the way its going! lol I do appreciate the sweet comments girls so thank you!
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hi Chelsea, 12 August 2018
My new avatar is me, with only women's clothing and is how I present almost all the time. The exception is when the weather is bad, I'll wear a pair of my old male sneakers; if doing dirty work I'll most likely be wearing old male work clothes though I do have some old women's jeans and some women's jeans I bought specifically for these situations. As my male supply dwindles and I have women's clothing that is no longer nice enough it'll become my work wear.
You are 46 and worrying about how you look? Try 78. Go out as Chelsea and have fun and quit worrying what others think. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. These days hardly anyone cares or notices. Send Charles on a long vacation, about a 50 years worth and make Chelsea the real visible you. Every minute you spend hiding Chelsea is a minute wasted. You can never get that wasted minute back. Every single one of us has a finite number of minutes, hours, days reaming; don't waste them on fear or any other reason.
You are gorgeous; get out there and be the real you,
and you know who SHE is.Best Always, All My Love
Christine
Quote from: Chelsea on August 12, 2018, 10:07:48 AM
Thanks ladies. This has made me just want to come out even more. Yeah I did it but Im still not ready.
Yes you are! Its kind of addictive isn't it!!
Quote from: Chelsea on August 12, 2018, 10:07:48 AM
Joni wanted to fix my natural hair and told me I could go to Walmart without makeup and pass. She must be crazy because there is no way. lol I really had a great time. If it wasn't for Joni and Beth pulling me out of the car it would not have happened.
From the earlier photos you posted your natural hair is looking good. Don't underestimate yourself.
Quote from: Chelsea on August 12, 2018, 10:07:48 AM
I didnt think at 46 years old the hormones would have done a lot but I'm so happy with the way its going!
You're never too old! Besides who would have ever guessed you're in your 40's? Not me.
Thanks for the update Chelsea.
Judi
aw, I'm so glad you finally went out! you looked great! it does get easier over time!
You look great Chelsea! Please don't ever let anyone make you feel bad about what you do or do not do in bed. Especially if they're not your partner.
Congrats on the male fail!
Also we have a similar hair texture. My hair is much shorter but after washing it, the waves in mu hair are exactly like that.
Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk
The first time is always horrifically terrifying. It definitely gets easier and easier though. Now I mostly don't go out in wig and makeup out of shear laziness because when I do it's become just another day. ;D
Chelsea, you look fabulous - and I am seriously j-e-a-l-o-u-s of your hair. If I let mine get that long, it would be as stringy and lifeless as spaghetti. I also find it hard to believe you're in your forties; my guess would have been 38-39.
It's easy for those hidden by the relative anonymity of a computer screen to tell you to "go out and be yourself;" it's more difficult to do for some but were you to see what we - and Joni and Beth - see, those gut wrenching fears would evaporate.
Hugs
Susan
Quote from: Susan Baum on August 12, 2018, 06:36:27 PM
Chelsea, you look fabulous - and I am seriously j-e-a-l-o-u-s of your hair. If I let mine get that long, it would be as stringy and lifeless as spaghetti. I also find it hard to believe you're in your forties; my guess would have been 38-39.
It's easy for those hidden by the relative anonymity of a computer screen to tell you to "go out and be yourself;" it's more difficult to do for some but were you to see what we - and Joni and Beth - see, those gut wrenching fears would evaporate.
Hugs
Susan
Thank you Susan. You do know it is a wig right? If it was my real hair I would be jumping up and down with joy. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea your pic u look great!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I am so happy for you Chelsea; you went out and you conquered the fear.
I understand the apprehension over next time but I know you are motivated to go out again and again.
I know you want to be Chelsea fulltime really and I think your time will soon come.
Hugs of happiness
Pamela
Quote from: pamelatransuk on August 13, 2018, 06:40:11 AM
I am so happy for you Chelsea; you went out and you conquered the fear.
I understand the apprehension over next time but I know you are motivated to go out again and again.
I know you want to be Chelsea fulltime really and I think your time will soon come.
Hugs of happiness
Pamela
Thank you Pamela.
After getting back home and throwing up from nerves , I wouln't exactly say I'm "motivated" to go back out. Not yet anyway. I need a lot more time and just wanted to see if I was ready but I didn't have fun at all around people. I don't really want to feel that pressure right now. I will get there someday. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on August 13, 2018, 08:12:50 AM
Thank you Pamela.
After getting back home and throwing up from nerves , I wouln't exactly say I'm "motivated" to go back out. Not yet anyway. I need a lot more time and just wanted to see if I was ready but I didn't have fun at all around people. I don't really want to feel that pressure right now. I will get there someday. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea:As others have commented, it really does get easier each following time that you go out and about as Chelsea.
Also as I had mentioned in my past comments
"safety in numbers" .... going out
with a supportive and accepting friend or two or more is usually a good idea... they can act as your "body guards" !!!!!
Continue on and keep on keeping on.... we are your biggest fans.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
YES! Safety in numbers for sure. I go out after my support group meeting every month with some of the others and it is definitely easier when part of a larger group.
Julie
Quote from: Chelsea on August 13, 2018, 08:12:50 AM
Thank you Pamela.
After getting back home and throwing up from nerves , I wouln't exactly say I'm "motivated" to go back out. Not yet anyway. I need a lot more time and just wanted to see if I was ready but I didn't have fun at all around people. I don't really want to feel that pressure right now. I will get there someday. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hello again
I apologise as I see that I was wrong to use the word "motivated" at this point in time and I hope you will accept my apology if you can please.
I hope you venture out only when you feel comfortable to do so and I realise that may take some time.
Wishing you happiness in your life as a whole.
Hugs
Pamela
OMG Chelsea!!!! Congratulations on your first outing in public as you. You were literally sick from nerves afterwards but the good news is that the first outing is the hardest and that is behind you now. It just gets easier from now on.
I totally understand the feeling of wanting to be Chelsea more and more. We all experience that feeling as we get closer to becoming full time as our true selves. You will know when you are ready to go out again. The desire to be Chelsea will overshadow your fear and out in the world you will go. Soon enough you won't even think about it, you'll just get dressed in your favourite outfit and go out.
And as always, you look amazing!
Congratulations again for this big step forward.
Hugs,
Jayne
Ok girls I can't believe I'm posting this but I'm starting to accept myself and its all good. Joni wanted to work on my natural hair last night and I figured it would not hurt to see what she can do. We grew up together in the 80's in the time of "Big Hair" and she always has been into doing different styles. These pics are what she come up with and said she can do a lot more once it grows out more. Sorry about the poor quality pics but the lighting in her room was horrible.
Now whats your thoughts? Do not sugar coat it and just tell me, I can take it and will not be offended. Its messy looking but she said it was supposed to be. lol I know absolutely nothing about hair so I have a lot to learn. The first two Im just in a regular t-shirt and the other two was a dress she had. I was going to get a full length shot of me because I loved that dress but my phone died before I got the chance.
So here I am, no tape, no wig, just me with a little makeup and Joins silly hair work. lol
Thank you all for everything!
(https://i.imgur.com/qH4gRZc.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/LQE5dtN.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/6eYt79W.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/v17dAph.jpg)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: pamelatransuk on August 14, 2018, 04:34:23 AM
Hello again
I apologise as I see that I was wrong to use the word "motivated" at this point in time and I hope you will accept my apology if you can please.
I hope you venture out only when you feel comfortable to do so and I realise that may take some time.
Wishing you happiness in your life as a whole.
Hugs
Pamela
Pamela hon there is no need to apologize. No offense taken what so ever. I know that every one of you are here to help and I appreciate every single comment from all of you. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on August 16, 2018, 09:03:35 AM
Ok girls I can't believe I'm posting this but I'm starting to accept myself and its all good. Joni wanted to work on my natural hair last night and I figured it would not hurt to see what she can do. We grew up together in the 80's in the time of "Big Hair" and she always has been into doing different styles. These pics are what she come up with and said she can do a lot more once it grows out more. Sorry about the poor quality pics but the lighting in her room was horrible.
Now whats your thoughts? Do not sugar coat it and just tell me, I can take it and will not be offended. Its messy looking but she said it was supposed to be. lol I know absolutely nothing about hair so I have a lot to learn. The first two Im just in a regular t-shirt and the other two was a dress she had. I was going to get a full length shot of me because I loved that dress but my phone died before I got the chance.
So here I am, no tape, no wig, just me with a little makeup and Joins silly hair work. lol
Thank you all for everything!
(https://i.imgur.com/v17dAph.jpg)
Hugs,
Chelsea
I'm not fond of the hairstyle myself so my opinion doesn't count. It looks good for the style that it is, if that makes sense? I must add though, the 4th photo (which I left in the quote) would be an excellent profile picture .. more-so if you smiled. I have to work on smiling myself. You look great in all four pics.
Quote from: Faith on August 16, 2018, 09:16:20 AM
I'm not fond of the hairstyle myself so my opinion doesn't count. It looks good for the style that it is, if that makes sense? I must add though, the 4th photo (which I left in the quote) would be an excellent profile picture .. more-so if you smiled. I have to work on smiling myself. You look great in all four pics.
I like the look of my wig a lot better. It was more just to see what she could do with it and just to play around with it.
I want it to look as close to the wig as i can after it grows out enough . As far as smiling, If you seen my teeth you would understand why I never smile in any of my pictures but I can only fix one thing at a time.
Thank you for the comments.
Hugs,
Chelsea
OMG! CUTE!
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea:
Please allow me to use my term:
WOW-WHEE - - - I love what your friend Joni did with your natural hair in all 4 pictures.
Let me tell you this, going out there
without your wig and having your natural hair styled in a feminine way such as Joni did for you is so much more self-affirming and confidence building for you.
Wigs are helpful for many, but your natural hair
really, really, yes, really looks very good as shown in your pictures... and I am not sugar-coating my comment either.
In my opinion, ditch the wig and go out there as Chelsea with the hair that you were born with!!!! Make certain that you continue to get some more tips from Joni about the different ways that you can fix your own hair.... particuarly so as it continues growing and you can experiment with even more hair styles.
Oh, and I love the color of your hair too!!! Very lovely and beautiful look for you.
The new Chelsea!!!Hugs and more hugs...... thanks for posting and sharing.
Danielle
Quote from: Chelsea on August 16, 2018, 09:03:35 AM
Ok girls I can't believe I'm posting this but I'm starting to accept myself and its all good. Joni wanted to work on my natural hair last night and I figured it would not hurt to see what she can do. We grew up together in the 80's in the time of "Big Hair" and she always has been into doing different styles. These pics are what she come up with and said she can do a lot more once it grows out more. Sorry about the poor quality pics but the lighting in her room was horrible.
Now whats your thoughts? Do not sugar coat it and just tell me, I can take it and will not be offended. Its messy looking but she said it was supposed to be. lol I know absolutely nothing about hair so I have a lot to learn. The first two Im just in a regular t-shirt and the other two was a dress she had. I was going to get a full length shot of me because I loved that dress but my phone died before I got the chance.
So here I am, no tape, no wig, just me with a little makeup and Joins silly hair work. lol
Thank you all for everything!
(https://i.imgur.com/qH4gRZc.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/LQE5dtN.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/6eYt79W.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/v17dAph.jpg)
Hugs,
Chelsea
I just got caught up on your thread. First of all, congratulations on getting out as yourself. It will be difficult at first, but it will get a little easier each time. The important thing is that you did it!!
And now, your pictures... WOW!! I like the look with your wig, but I totally LOVE the look with your own hair. OMG, you are so cute! Especially that last picture. I am not just saying that, I really mean it.
Chelsea the wig does look good on you but its not the only look you can pull off. Consider that the wig is also a different color and that may be affecting your opinion. Those photos all look great. Your natural hair is coming along just fine and Joni has really styled it to show it off positively. I would not be ashamed to go out with a style like that. They work for you. I think a little bit of bangs showing looks nice.
Judi
Quote from: Chelsea on August 16, 2018, 09:03:35 AM
Ok girls I can't believe I'm posting this but I'm starting to accept myself and its all good. Joni wanted to work on my natural hair last night and I figured it would not hurt to see what she can do. We grew up together in the 80's in the time of "Big Hair" and she always has been into doing different styles. These pics are what she come up with and said she can do a lot more once it grows out more. Sorry about the poor quality pics but the lighting in her room was horrible.
Now whats your thoughts? Do not sugar coat it and just tell me, I can take it and will not be offended. Its messy looking but she said it was supposed to be. lol I know absolutely nothing about hair so I have a lot to learn. The first two Im just in a regular t-shirt and the other two was a dress she had. I was going to get a full length shot of me because I loved that dress but my phone died before I got the chance.
So here I am, no tape, no wig, just me with a little makeup and Joins silly hair work. lol
Thank you all for everything!
(https://i.imgur.com/qH4gRZc.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/LQE5dtN.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/6eYt79W.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/v17dAph.jpg)
Hugs,
Chelsea
From the wig you usually have I'd guess that you want it longer and looks like you've got a good start on that.
I think she did pretty good with what you have now though. It looks feminine and plenty of cis women have similar hairstyles.
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
I'm growing my hair out too it's been about a year now... From what was a very short buzz cut.
Well I still wear wigs occasionally when I go out. It's a very long and frustrating process. I won't be cutting my hair or even getting trims at salons for years.
I think your hair has potential to be what you want it when it grows out longer.
I actually want a similar style!
Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk
you look cute in these new pics! definitely passable!
Quote from: Chelsea on August 16, 2018, 09:03:35 AM
Ok girls I can't believe I'm posting this but I'm starting to accept myself and its all good. Joni wanted to work on my natural hair last night and I figured it would not hurt to see what she can do. We grew up together in the 80's in the time of "Big Hair" and she always has been into doing different styles. These pics are what she come up with and said she can do a lot more once it grows out more. Sorry about the poor quality pics but the lighting in her room was horrible.
Now whats your thoughts? Do not sugar coat it and just tell me, I can take it and will not be offended. Its messy looking but she said it was supposed to be. lol I know absolutely nothing about hair so I have a lot to learn. The first two Im just in a regular t-shirt and the other two was a dress she had. I was going to get a full length shot of me because I loved that dress but my phone died before I got the chance.
So here I am, no tape, no wig, just me with a little makeup and Joins silly hair work. lol
Thank you all for everything!
(https://i.imgur.com/qH4gRZc.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/LQE5dtN.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/6eYt79W.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/v17dAph.jpg)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hi Chelsea, 16 August 2018
You know me, I don't pull any punches, no sugar coating, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but:
I see
NO sign of male. You look to be a beautiful young woman about 25. Go for it before you turn 30.
Take care young Lady.
Best Always, All my love
Christine
Quote from: christinej78 on August 16, 2018, 11:48:37 PM
Hi Chelsea, 16 August 2018
You know me, I don't pull any punches, no sugar coating, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but:
I see NO sign of male. You look to be a beautiful young woman about 25. Go for it before you turn 30.
Take care young Lady.
Best Always, All my love
Christine
@christinej78 Dear Christine: Exactly my thoughts also.
So, there you have it
@Chelsea .... there is agreement for some of your followers!!!!
Hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: christinej78 on August 16, 2018, 11:48:37 PM
Hi Chelsea, 16 August 2018
You know me, I don't pull any punches, no sugar coating, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but:
I see NO sign of male. You look to be a beautiful young woman about 25. Go for it before you turn 30.
Take care young Lady.
Best Always, All my love
Christine
I agree totally
Chelsea omg,
Truth, you look fantastic with natural hair and I think it looks good, but I'm an 80's kid :)
Can't believe how your face has changed recently, you look so much younger.
You've a beautiful slender neck is try and rock the natural hair I really would.
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
OMG Chelsea!!! I love your hair. You are totally rocking that look. There is absolutely no male in any of your photos. You are a very beautiful young lady. You and I are the same age, but you look at least 10 to 15 years younger than you are.
I agree with Danielle. Ditch the wig. You look equally great with or without the wig, so why not go out as your natural self. It will do wonders for your self confidence. Your own hair will grow in time to how you would like it. In the meantime, you look awesome, and totally feminine. You don't need the wig to pass.
Looking forward to more of your updates.
Hugs,
Jayne
I want to thank every single one of you. Wow! I didn't expect all of that. I really wasn't to fond of it myself, I guess because its a drastic change from the wig I have. By the time I am ready to go full time (or even part time lol) My hair will have grown out a lot more and I might just be able to pull this off. By the time I get my adams apple removed and my voice then I should be ready if I can keep from getting so nervous. No way I'm going out with that thing on my throat or this voice. That's a dead give away. Everything else I need I can do as I get the cash I guess.
Again thanks for everyone's input!
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on August 17, 2018, 07:58:19 AM
I want to thank every single one of you. Wow! I didn't expect all of that. I really wasn't to fond of it myself, I guess because its a drastic change from the wig I have. By the time I am ready to go full time (or even part time lol) My hair will have grown out a lot more and I might just be able to pull this off. By the time I get my adams apple removed and my voice then I should be ready if I can keep from getting so nervous. No way I'm going out with that thing on my throat or this voice. That's a dead give away. Everything else I need I can do as I get the cash I guess.
Again thanks for everyone's input!
Hugs,
Chelsea
Dear Chelsea, 17 August 2018
" By the time I get my adams apple removed and my voice then I should be ready if I can keep from getting so nervous. No way I'm going out with that thing on my throat or this voice. That's a dead give away."Heaven forbid; have the Adam's apple shaved,
not removed. The procedure, chondrolaryngoplasty. aka tracheal shave, is what I think you are referring to.
You are doing
FINE.
Best Always, All My Love, Always,
Christine
Quote from: christinej78 on August 17, 2018, 11:21:37 AM
Dear Chelsea, 17 August 2018
" By the time I get my adams apple removed and my voice then I should be ready if I can keep from getting so nervous. No way I'm going out with that thing on my throat or this voice. That's a dead give away."
Heaven forbid; have the Adam's apple shaved, not removed. The procedure, chondrolaryngoplasty. aka tracheal shave, is what I think you are referring to.
You are doing FINE.
Best Always, All My Love, Always,
Christine
Shaved, Removed, Whatever the correct term is I want it gone. I'm sure you got my point. lol
That's the right attitude Chelsea! At least I think it is
Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk
Quote from: Chelsea on August 17, 2018, 07:58:19 AM
I want to thank every single one of you. Wow! I didn't expect all of that. I really wasn't to fond of it myself, I guess because its a drastic change from the wig I have. By the time I am ready to go full time (or even part time lol) My hair will have grown out a lot more and I might just be able to pull this off. By the time I get my adams apple removed and my voice then I should be ready if I can keep from getting so nervous. No way I'm going out with that thing on my throat or this voice. That's a dead give away. Everything else I need I can do as I get the cash I guess.
Again thanks for everyone's input!
Hugs,
Chelsea
@Chelsea:
Dear Chelsea:I think that you will find that with your natural and already quite beautiful hair, even as short as it is, that you will be much happier and you will be able to change and experiment with various styles.
For you, I would think that not fussing with a wig in the hot late summer weather and not fussing with a long hair wig at all should be a very welcome change.... just my opinion that is all.
In the past I have grown my own hair out to below shoulder length as shown in some of my earlier photos in my thread, but when spring time came around I decided to get it cut to a more manageable shorter length, much easier to deal with in both informal and formal situations.... and there are many cute and feminine styles for us girls with shorter hair.
I had thought that I might have trepidation about cutting my hair because it took such a long time to get it to that longer lenghth... but rest assured, I feel no less feminine with it being shorter. I know that a lot of trans-women feel that long hair is essential to passing and being feminine but my own experience does not endorse that as a fact.
I may grow it out again but I have been enjoying the way it is now.
Regarding your adams apple and voice, I would think that your voice would be a higher priority... the adams apple might bother you more than anyone else and can be masked by choker necklaces but it is the voice that can be a dead giveaway. Also eyebrow shaping, cosmetics, nail polish, clothing, shoes, mannerisms and body movements.... all of these are important to passing.
As always I am wishing you well, and I am so glad to see and read and to "feel" your positivity.
Hugs and more hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on August 17, 2018, 03:10:34 PM
@Chelsea:
Dear Chelsea:
I think that you will find that with your natural and already quite beautiful hair, even as short as it is, that you will be much happier and you will be able to change and experiment with various styles.
For you, I would think that not fussing with a wig in the hot late summer weather and not fussing with a long hair wig at all should be a very welcome change.... just my opinion that is all.
In the past I have grown my own hair out to below shoulder length as shown in some of my earlier photos in my thread, but when spring time came around I decided to get it cut to a more manageable shorter length, much easier to deal with in both informal and formal situations.... and there are many cute and feminine styles for us girls with shorter hair.
I had thought that I might have trepidation about cutting my hair because it took such a long time to get it to that longer lenghth... but rest assured, I feel no less feminine with it being shorter. I know that a lot of trans-women feel that long hair is essential to passing and being feminine but my own experience does not endorse that as a fact.
I may grow it out again but I have been enjoying the way it is now.
Regarding your adams apple and voice, I would think that your voice would be a higher priority... the adams apple might bother you more than anyone else and can be masked by choker necklaces but it is the voice that can be a dead giveaway. Also eyebrow shaping, cosmetics, nail polish, clothing, shoes, mannerisms and body movements.... all of these are important to passing.
As always I am wishing you well, and I am so glad to see and read and to "feel" your positivity.
Hugs and more hugs,
Danielle
Thank you Danielle. The wig is just how I would like to see my natural hair in the future. I love the curls and always have. Unfortunately I don't know if I can make it look that way without a small hair transplant.
My voice lessons I will continue if and when I get the money. I miss going to those so much.
Now Cosmetics, nail polish, mannerisms and body movements, I got this girl. Joni and Beth said I did very well.
Eyebrow shaping I really do not know what good it will do considering that they used to be about a half inch higher on my forehead. This why I need the face lift.
Clothing and shoes is another thing. I just cant afford to buy any at this time.
Thats the reason I wasn't to worried about the hair because I have so far to go before I feel comfortable enough to present myself in public. I know some of you are going to say that I look good enough a should go ahead but until I am happy with myself then I don't see how anyone else will be, and I have mom that I have to sneak around that makes it a lot harder.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on August 17, 2018, 04:18:34 PM
My voice lessons I will continue if and when I get the money. I miss going to those so much.
Now Cosmetics, nail polish, mannerisms and body movements, I got this girl. Joni and Beth said I did very well.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea
I hope you are soon able to continue the voice training as you correctly see it as beneficial (and you miss it now).
Well done that you have made such progress on cosmetics, nail polish, mannerisms and body movements and probably others you've not listed.
Hugs
Pamela
Hi all,
I'm extremely worried about Chelsea, I messaged her the other night and she is really down, seriously down.
Anyone else heard from her recently??
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
Quote from: maybesoph on August 24, 2018, 06:29:52 AM
Hi all,
I'm extremely worried about Chelsea, I messaged her the other night and she is really down, seriously down.
Anyone else heard from her recently??
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
I'm here Sophie. Thank you for checking in on me. I have been working daylight to dark and have very little time is why I have not posted anything. I'm not going to lie and say everything is great when its not but, I will make it one day.
For the record because of a comment that was made in a PM, the problems I am having does not have one thing to do with my transition. The only problem I have there is my mother as you all know. Actually my progress with HRT is amazing. I never guessed at my age it would work as good as it has been. I will post as soon as I have something good to report. I love each and every one of you!
Hugs,
Chelsea
Thanks for checking in with us. Take care!
Quote from: Chelsea on August 25, 2018, 06:25:34 PM
I'm here Sophie. Thank you for checking in on me. I have been working daylight to dark and have very little time is why I have not posted anything. I'm not going to lie and say everything is great when its not but, I will make it one day.
For the record because of a comment that was made in a PM, the problems I am having does not have one thing to do with my transition. The only problem I have there is my mother as you all know. Actually my progress with HRT is amazing. I never guessed at my age it would work as good as it has been. I will post as soon as I have something good to report. I love each and every one of you!
Hugs,
Chelsea
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea:
Yes indeed, all of your followers are quite happy now that you have "checked -in" and let us all know that you are alive and kicking.
I am sorry that you have to work so hard but when one is in a hole one needs to stop digging and start climbing out... soon enough with your determination and willpower you will start seeing some daylight.
I am concerned to hear that you are still having problems with your mother.... keep being persistent and do what you have to do in that situation.
And, Chelsea, please know that your posts and comments are always welcome here on your thread and around the Forums, no matter if it is good news or bad news. With the good news we will rejoice with you and with the not so good news we will support you with our thoughts, comments and lots and lots of HUGS.
Thanks again for posting again on your thread.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Hi Chelsea,
Thank you for the update to let us know you are ok. I'm sorry things are not great for you but you have a determination that will get you through anything. Don't ever give up!
As Danielle pointed out, you don't only have to post when there is good news. You have friends here that care about you and will give support when you need it. We are a worrying bunch so when you go quiet here we will start looking for you to check that you're ok. We are here for the good and not so good times.
And for the record, your HRT progress is amazing. You look fantastic!! Sorry it is still a struggle with your mother. Keep doing whatever you need to do to be true to yourself.
Hugs,
Jayne
Quote from: Chelsea on August 25, 2018, 06:25:34 PM
I'm here Sophie. Thank you for checking in on me. I have been working daylight to dark and have very little time is why I have not posted anything. I'm not going to lie and say everything is great when its not but, I will make it one day.
For the record because of a comment that was made in a PM, the problems I am having does not have one thing to do with my transition. The only problem I have there is my mother as you all know. Actually my progress with HRT is amazing. I never guessed at my age it would work as good as it has been. I will post as soon as I have something good to report. I love each and every one of you!
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on August 25, 2018, 08:01:01 PM
@Chelsea
Dear Chelsea:
Yes indeed, all of your followers are quite happy now that you have "checked -in" and let us all know that you are alive and kicking.
I am sorry that you have to work so hard but when one is in a hole one needs to stop digging and start climbing out... soon enough with your determination and willpower you will start seeing some daylight.
I am concerned to hear that you are still having problems with your mother.... keep being persistent and do what you have to do in that situation.
And, Chelsea, please know that your posts and comments are always welcome here on your thread and around the Forums, no matter if it is good news or bad news. With the good news we will rejoice with you and with the not so good news we will support you with our thoughts, comments and lots and lots of HUGS.
Thanks again for posting again on your thread.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Besides my financial problem my mother is my biggest issue. The fights between me and her have gotten a lot worse in the last two months. I have started hanging out with my two nieces Joni and Beth and also I have a new girl in my life that I will tell you all about later. Around them I can be myself all the time. We have been to the park and a few places where im in public but not up close like in a store to let me get more comfortable. My mother sees how happy I am and its killing her.
Last night she come to my room and said she thought she heard something outside and was worried. I jumped up to go see what it was and of course it was false. On the way back to my room she said I wish you would stay off the phone so I can sleep. (I have been talking to a dear friend at night) This house is over a hundred feet long and there is no way she can hear me on the phone. It was just a reason to start a argument. After that she starts in on me about her car that I have been using for work. I bought this car for her a few years ago for her and paid it off myself and also she never goes anywhere. After that she says "you could help me sometimes too." I buy all the food, mow the grass, fix all the little issues with the house, work almost a hundred hours a week and still get this treatment.
I ask her if she would go to my therapist and let her explian whats going on with me and she said that I need a new doctor and thinks this is some kind of fetish. My sister said mom does this to try and get me to stop taking my medicine. That will never happen and my sister knows it. When any of the family member come over mom completely changes like she don't have a worry in the world. After they leave shes back to treating me like a piece of trash. I cant leave because of I have no money to move and have all of my machines here on her property. Even if I could she would not live a month without me. I am stuck in prison.
There is my number one problem and I'm all ears if anyone sees a way out. Thanks to everyone for listening to me vent but this woman is impossible and only getting worse.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hi Chelsea,
Just so glad your ok, remember no matter how tough things are people always care x
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
Hi Chelsea,
I am sorry you are feeling like you are in prison.
If I may offer my personal view of what is happening with your mother. I suspect she is going through a grieving process. When you came out to her, in her mind she heard that she has just lost her son. It is a common reaction from family. My wife had a similar reaction with losing her husband. It is a very real grief for them that requires them to go through the grieving process. There are several stages to a grieving process: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. People that are grieving will usually go through some or all of these stages and they could happen in any order.
It sounds like your mother is going through an anger stage and she is displaying all kinds of passive aggressive behaviour towards you. My wife did the same to me and it can be very hard to be at the receiving end of irrational anger towards you. I know it is very hard to do, but try not to engage in any arguments over seemingly trivial things. Stand your ground with things that you cannot compromise on, such as continuing to take your meds and following through with being Chelsea as much as you need to. With non trans issues, try to reach a compromise with your mother where you can even if you don't feel it is warranted. Remember her behaviour is a result of her grieving process.
My wife went through most of the grieving stages. She also had several major meltdowns along the way. She lost her husband. It's even worse than if I had died. With death there is closure, but with transition, the person they thought they knew has gone but you are still there as a constant reminder, so there is no real closure. Maybe she will come to terms with it all, maybe she won't. Only time will tell.
That is just my personal opinion and I could be way off the mark, so please use your own judgement.
Stay strong and keep posting here, even if it is to just vent your frustrations. This is a community of friends who understand what you are going through.
Hugs,
Jayne
Quote from: Chelsea on August 26, 2018, 10:01:02 AM
Besides my financial problem my mother is my biggest issue. The fights between me and her have gotten a lot worse in the last two months. I have started hanging out with my two nieces Joni and Beth and also I have a new girl in my life that I will tell you all about later. Around them I can be myself all the time. We have been to the park and a few places where im in public but not up close like in a store to let me get more comfortable. My mother sees how happy I am and its killing her.
Last night she come to my room and said she thought she heard something outside and was worried. I jumped up to go see what it was and of course it was false. On the way back to my room she said I wish you would stay off the phone so I can sleep. (I have been talking to a dear friend at night) This house is over a hundred feet long and there is no way she can hear me on the phone. It was just a reason to start a argument. After that she starts in on me about her car that I have been using for work. I bought this car for her a few years ago for her and paid it off myself and also she never goes anywhere. After that she says "you could help me sometimes too." I buy all the food, mow the grass, fix all the little issues with the house, work almost a hundred hours a week and still get this treatment.
I ask her if she would go to my therapist and let her explian whats going on with me and she said that I need a new doctor and thinks this is some kind of fetish. My sister said mom does this to try and get me to stop taking my medicine. That will never happen and my sister knows it. When any of the family member come over mom completely changes like she don't have a worry in the world. After they leave shes back to treating me like a piece of trash. I cant leave because of I have no money to move and have all of my machines here on her property. Even if I could she would not live a month without me. I am stuck in prison.
There is my number one problem and I'm all ears if anyone sees a way out. Thanks to everyone for listening to me vent but this woman is impossible and only getting worse.
Hugs,
Chelsea
There are only three options that I can think of and none of them are good.
1. Do nothing and just stick out.
2. Start preparing for an escape. Set aside a small amount of money each paycheck for moving expenses. Also start looking for another location to move to.
3. Talk this option over with your therapist but it's confrontation. As she won't see your therapist, on her ground you need to personally or with a supportive group or with your therapist confront her directly. This approach is difficult because you need to come up with a response for every objection she raises so a knowledgable group or a professional is the only way to make it work.
Often we end up with a difficult decision like this and unfortunately there is no easy way out. I hope you find a way to address this.
I made some tiny baby steps last night. I know these are not going to seem like much to you girls but it was not easy for me. I have been hanging out with my two nieces Joni and Beth lately and have gotten really close to them. Last night Joni wanted to do my makeup. I made the small step to go through the drive trough and get us all food. Beth ordered so I didn't have to use my voice. After we get to the window I was shocked that nothing happened like I thought. No weird looks, no comments, nothing. I don't even think they could tell.
With my confidence rising Beth said I got of too easy and that she needed to stop at pilot for something.(The pilot that I stop every day in and know everyone.) After we stopped I figured out what she was meaning about getting off to easy.
What did she do?? She goes in and outs me to Kelly and Megan that was working and told them Chelsea was outside. Of course they both come running out to the car to see me. Again I was extremely nervous but that quickly went away after they talked to me for a few minuets. I actually got out of the car this time and talked to them for a few minuets and it felt great. They both told me I was ready and could not tell besides my voice. As soon as I have the cash I will get back into voice therapy.
Like I said its not a big deal for some but this is the hardest part for me is going out in public. I had a great time last night and just wanted to share it with all of you. I got this!!
Hugs,
Chelsea
Always uplifting to read a happy story from you, Chelsea. You are making progress and gaining confidence.
Good luck with resumption of the voice therapy.
Hugs
Pamela
Quote from: Chelsea on August 30, 2018, 08:44:16 AM
I made some tiny baby steps last night. I know these are not going to seem like much to you girls but it was not easy for me. I have been hanging out with my two nieces Joni and Beth lately and have gotten really close to them. Last night Joni wanted to do my makeup. I made the small step to go through the drive trough and get us all food. Beth ordered so I didn't have to use my voice. After we get to the window I was shocked that nothing happened like I thought. No weird looks, no comments, nothing. I don't even think they could tell.
With my confidence rising Beth said I got of too easy and that she needed to stop at pilot for something.(The pilot that I stop every day in and know everyone.) After we stopped I figured out what she was meaning about getting off to easy.
What did she do?? She goes in and outs me to Kelly and Megan that was working and told them Chelsea was outside. Of course they both come running out to the car to see me. Again I was extremely nervous but that quickly went away after they talked to me for a few minuets. I actually got out of the car this time and talked to them for a few minuets and it felt great. They both told me I was ready and could not tell besides my voice. As soon as I have the cash I will get back into voice therapy.
Like I said its not a big deal for some but this is the hardest part for me is going out in public. I had a great time last night and just wanted to share it with all of you. I got this!!
Hugs,
Chelsea
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea:
Thank you for keeping us informed of what is going on in your life lately....
Your experience with your nieces sounded terrific and it is wonderful that you have those two girls to encourage you and to help you with things like makeup and more or less giving you a shove in the right direction. It was neat that they outed you to the other two girls... and their reaction was precisely what all of your followers here are saying to you. Yes indeed, if you can get it all together with your finances and family situation your obvious next move is the one that you desire... VOICE THERAPY !!!!
Yes indeed, the idea of going out in public for new transitioners can be very frightening but it can also be exciting.... even if clocked, and initially that has happened to all of us, it is a step that has to be taken... as you refine your appearance, your movements, your mannerisms.... and of course your hair, makeup, nails, clothing,... and your general appearance .... it will get easier and as you more successfully pass your self-confidence and self-assurance will keep increasing... take it from me, these are things that we all are going through or have gone through.
Please continue working on all of these things... and it is wonderful that you have a group of cis girlfriends to act as your guides....
Hugs and well wishes as always... and thank you for your update.
Danielle
;D SO happy for ya!
Very nice Chelsea! Sometimes baby steps are all we need to boost our confidence. You have two good allies in your nieces.
Judi
aw yay! that's great!
Chelsea,
They're not baby steps they are amazing steps.
I bet you feel on top of the world right now, glad you've got awesome friends around you to help.
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
Chelsea,
you're right about it being no big deal to some of us. But that's now and only because we took those first few steps that scared the <expletive deleted> out of us.
There's an old saying, " a journey of 1000 miles starts with a single step".
Pretty soon it will be no big deal to you also.
Congratulations.
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
Quote from: Chelsea on August 30, 2018, 08:44:16 AM
Like I said its not a big deal for some but this is the hardest part for me is going out in public. I had a great time last night and just wanted to share it with all of you. I got this!!
Yes you do, hun, you've got this! What you did is indeed a big deal. The first time out in public is scary as heck, but you did it. Give your friends a big hug from me for helping you with it.
Chelsea, this is FANTASTIC!!!!! Don't sell yourself short girl, these were so much more than baby steps. It was a giant leap. It may take a few days for the full effect of what you have accomplished to sink in. You discovered at the drive through window that things rarely turn out as bad as we imagine.
Then what Beth did by outing you to Kelly and Megan was a bold but necessary step for you. She obviously knows you well and knew what you needed. And as you found out, your nervousness quickly went away. This was a great day for you. One to be celebrated and remembered. Congratulations on making such an enormous leap forward in your transition. You will soon figure out that each step you take makes the next step easier. I remember you telling us about your last outing in public as Chelsea. You were so nervous that it made you physically ill. This time, it ended up being a non event.
YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!
Quote
I had a great time last night and just wanted to share it with all of you. I got this!!
Yes, you most certainly have got this. I'm so proud of you. It is such a pleasure watching you grow into the woman you know that you are.
Extra big hugs for you today!
((((((((((HUGS))))))))))
Jayne
Quote from: Chelsea on August 30, 2018, 08:44:16 AM
I made some tiny baby steps last night. I know these are not going to seem like much to you girls but it was not easy for me. I have been hanging out with my two nieces Joni and Beth lately and have gotten really close to them. Last night Joni wanted to do my makeup. I made the small step to go through the drive trough and get us all food. Beth ordered so I didn't have to use my voice. After we get to the window I was shocked that nothing happened like I thought. No weird looks, no comments, nothing. I don't even think they could tell.
With my confidence rising Beth said I got of too easy and that she needed to stop at pilot for something.(The pilot that I stop every day in and know everyone.) After we stopped I figured out what she was meaning about getting off to easy.
What did she do?? She goes in and outs me to Kelly and Megan that was working and told them Chelsea was outside. Of course they both come running out to the car to see me. Again I was extremely nervous but that quickly went away after they talked to me for a few minuets. I actually got out of the car this time and talked to them for a few minuets and it felt great. They both told me I was ready and could not tell besides my voice. As soon as I have the cash I will get back into voice therapy.
Like I said its not a big deal for some but this is the hardest part for me is going out in public. I had a great time last night and just wanted to share it with all of you. I got this!!
Hugs,
Chelsea
Month 6 Update
It's unreal that I have made it to the 6 month mark already. I guess with all that is going on in my life, time just has flew by. I skipped the 5 month update so I will just cover it in this one.
Body changes are starting to show and are getting hard to hide in "boy mode" My nieces tell me I'm not fooling anyone. lol
Chest is up to 35½ from 33 originally.
Waist is down to 26 from 28 originally.
Hips are up to 36½ from 34 originally.
Thighs are up to 19 from the forth months 18½ Before month 4 I didn't think to measure them.
My face has changed more than I thought it would at 6 months. I'm really girly looking in the face now but I can't go full time yet because of mom. I get odd looks sometime but I don't pay attention to people much. This is the hardest part for me to actually figure out whats changed in my face. I can look back at older pictures and see a big difference from 6 months ago.
No changes on voice therapy because I have not been in a long time. This is another thing that is keeping me from going full time. I plan to start back as soon as I get the cash.
Mentally the emotional part seems like is has eased off some. I think a little more clearly even though I am still struggling financially. One negative thing I have noticed is my eye sight has took a turn for the worse sense starting hrt. Shame because I have always had 20/15 vision above the standard 20/20. Now I can't see things closer then about 12 inches away.
Im very very happy with the results I'm getting and feel blessed in the changes Im getting with hrt. If I ever get out of my financial mess I will have it made. I just need about 20 pounds but unfortunately I am holding at 130 pounds.
I left you girls a pic from last night. :)
(https://i.imgur.com/H53NuDu.jpg)
Thanks to everyone for following my thread and I love you all.
Chelsea
@Chelsea
She's back and she's HOT!
Hi Chelsea, You look great and it sounds like your body is changing nicely! Don't fret about your voice therapy you'll get back into it soon. I loved reading about your outing with your nieces - thats exciting stuff! About your eye sight - stress and tiredness can play havoc with eyesight so bare that in mind. Your hair in your photo looks really good and very natural as it blends in well with your overall look - but I'm also curious since you gave us a glimpse how your real hair is coming along as well ? still getting longer?
Take care,
Sonja.
Hi Chelsea,
Thank you for your 6 month update. You have come such a long way since I first met you on this forum before starting HRT. Your physical appearance is astounding. You are stunning! And your psychological state has improved dramatically. I am so proud of you and all the hard work you are putting in to do what is right for you.
Hopefully you will be able to return to voice therapy soon. I have not yet started but I will be making an appointment to see a voice coach in the coming weeks.
Your eyesight deteriorating may not be due to the HRT. It might just be your age. You and I are the same age and I too have noticed in the past month or two that my near vision is getting bad. I struggle to read things without holding my arm out at full stretch. [emoji23] Many of my coworkers are similar age to me and their vision has also taken a sudden downturn and none of them are on HRT. The good news is that you can get yourself a nice pair of girly glasses to really show off your femininity.
You look beautiful in the photo you posted. You've got this girl! You are rocking it!!!!
Hugs,
Jayne
Quote from: Chelsea on September 02, 2018, 11:32:57 PM
Month 6 Update
It's unreal that I have made it to the 6 month mark already. I guess with all that is going on in my life, time just has flew by. I skipped the 5 month update so I will just cover it in this one.
Body changes are starting to show and are getting hard to hide in "boy mode" My nieces tell me I'm not fooling anyone. lol
Chest is up to 35½ from 33 originally.
Waist is down to 26 from 28 originally.
Hips are up to 36½ from 34 originally.
Thighs are up to 19 from the forth months 18½ Before month 4 I didn't think to measure them.
My face has changed more than I thought it would at 6 months. I'm really girly looking in the face now but I can't go full time yet because of mom. I get odd looks sometime but I don't pay attention to people much. This is the hardest part for me to actually figure out whats changed in my face. I can look back at older pictures and see a big difference from 6 months ago.
No changes on voice therapy because I have not been in a long time. This is another thing that is keeping me from going full time. I plan to start back as soon as I get the cash.
Mentally the emotional part seems like is has eased off some. I think a little more clearly even though I am still struggling financially. One negative thing I have noticed is my eye sight has took a turn for the worse sense starting hrt. Shame because I have always had 20/15 vision above the standard 20/20. Now I can't see things closer then about 12 inches away.
Im very very happy with the results I'm getting and feel blessed in the changes Im getting with hrt. If I ever get out of my financial mess I will have it made. I just need about 20 pounds but unfortunately I am holding at 130 pounds.
I left you girls a pic from last night. :)
(https://i.imgur.com/H53NuDu.jpg)
Thanks to everyone for following my thread and I love you all.
Chelsea
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea:Thank you for your update.... wow, 6 months already? Where has the time gone???
It is so great to hear and read about your transition journey progress and about your comparison body measurements details.
I really do hope that you can get a handle on your "mom" situation... that seems to be your main stumbling block for you to start your path to going full-time.
Regarding your eyesight and having trouble focusing clearly on things closer than 12 inches.... welcome to the world of most people that are 40 - 50 years old... you may still have good 20-20 vision at a distance but you may now need reading glasses.... like most folks getting a little older. Obviously an Optometrist visit could be in order for you when you have the funds available. .... very inexpensive reading glasses are available at most drug stores withougt a prescription....
It was really good to find your update on your thread. Please continue to keep your followers informed of your goings on in your life... we are always here to support you.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
It's good to hear from you Chelsea. You're looking great.
Judi
You're looking good Chelsea!
I have set a date or Goal to go full time. On April 3 2019 witch is 7 months away and my birthday. I hope within 7 months I can be good enough with my voice that I will sound better. I will be at 11 months by then and should be good enough. Im tired of waiting.
I am under more stress right now than I ever have been in my life. Im just waiting on the IRS to come banging on my door. Mom is still the same and is not making things any easier. Im still working the same crazy hours but its just enough to get by and I cant save anything. Im starting to get weird looks more now and it really don't bother me at all. It just tells me that Im ready.
I have been in three stores now as Chelsea and talked to a few friends of mine out in public with no issues and that has helped my nerves a lot. I just wish this stupid adams apple was gone and I would be ok. The picture below is of me with no makeup for the first time ever on here and Im kind of embarrassed about it. I just wanted you all to see how much my face has changed in just 6 months. No I don't wear pink in boy mode but I dont really look like a guy anymore. I hope I can make it through all this because my life has fell apart.
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/Y7GSLr2.jpg)
Hello again Chelsea
I am sorry that you still have to work such long hours for little reward (being unable to save) and that your mom has not moved in her opposition.
OTOH you have definitely gained confidence with going out and you intend to resume Voice Therapy.
I assure you that you do look feminine and passing should be no problem; furthermore your Adam's Apple is not prominent and should not be a problem for passing but if it bothers you, then of course have it removed.
I think you are right to chose a date 7 months hence for fulltime which is realistic and attainable.
I have faith in you that you will achieve your target date and perhaps exceed it.
Hugs
Pamela
Quote from: Chelsea on September 06, 2018, 09:56:43 PMNo I don't wear pink in boy mode but I dont really look like a guy anymore.
Chelsea, you look great! Thank you for posting your un-made-up picture. You are right that you don't look like a guy any more. If you were trying to pass for a guy, I can see that you would get looks, because you are male-failing. Trust me, the adam's apple is not the first thing anyone will notice.
That sounds like a good plan to go full-time in seven months.
I know that you are feeling stress right now. You are dealing with it as well as you can, and still planning to move forward. I wish you nothing but success.
The stresses that beat you up now will disappear after you realize they are only problems if you make it a problem. Life and living does change during and after transition and it doesn't always fit into someone else view of you. If they love you, they will need to change that view or it becomes "their" problem.
Show your love always, and they will have to own that if they love you too, they need to show it also.
You definitely male fail now and as Kathy said, the Adam's apple is not the first thing anyone notices.
Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Thanks for the update. I agree you look good! And I think your long term plan is wise. OTOH have you considered contacting the IRS to see if you can work out a plan? That might relieve some stress.
All my best, Judi
Chelsea
Love your pic.
I don't think you will have far to go face wise in reality. You have a lot of internal issues it seems, you just need to pick them off one at a time. Your money issues will sort themselves out if you are careful, and I can see that you are working towards sorting that out. As for your Mom, sometimes they get better and sometimes you have to accept where they are and focus your energies on other things.
As for looks, you look lovely. My own hair is almost shoulder length, MPB'ish and no one really comments but its thick everywhere else a bit like yours. Its getting a pain as I have to tuck behind my ears a lot and when its windy it gets in my eyes so much, but Im not cutting it at all until I see split ends.
Look after yourself as without that you cant look after anyone else.
You have had the strength to come this far, and deep down you know you can move forward. Loose the baggage that doesn't really matter.
Luv n Hugz
Katie
:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:
@Chelsea No worries... you look terrific even without makeup. Your hair is growing out nicely.
You definitely should be able to go full out full time on your birthday next April.
Your followers will eagerly be checking your thread frequently particularly as you get closer to
your much anticipated day.
I am trusting that you can get the issues solved with the IRS, your finances and with your mom.
We are all rooting for you.
Hugs and hugs
Danielle
Quote from: Chelsea on September 06, 2018, 09:56:43 PM
I have set a date or Goal to go full time. On April 3 2019 witch is 7 months away and my birthday. I hope within 7 months I can be good enough with my voice that I will sound better. I will be at 11 months by then and should be good enough. Im tired of waiting.
I am under more stress right now than I ever have been in my life. Im just waiting on the IRS to come banging on my door. Mom is still the same and is not making things any easier. Im still working the same crazy hours but its just enough to get by and I cant save anything. Im starting to get weird looks more now and it really don't bother me at all. It just tells me that Im ready.
I have been in three stores now as Chelsea and talked to a few friends of mine out in public with no issues and that has helped my nerves a lot. I just wish this stupid adams apple was gone and I would be ok. The picture below is of me with no makeup for the first time ever on here and Im kind of embarrassed about it. I just wanted you all to see how much my face has changed in just 6 months. No I don't wear pink in boy mode but I dont really look like a guy anymore. I hope I can make it through all this because my life has fell apart.
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/Y7GSLr2.jpg)
@Chelsea
Hey Chelsea - I'm also following your thread/life and I think you look great in your photo! Your hair has come along really well, your face is very cute and feminine and has changed remarkably since I saw your old photos, I really hope you can see what me and the rest of us do when we see your picture - a lovely young lady with new opportunities!
Keep working and get on top of the issues that are outstanding, the IRS and the ability for you to make your own choices about your life.
Take care, XO
Sonja.
Chelsea, I don't mean to intrude, but I was wondering if I might ask a question?
Quote from: Sarah1979 on September 11, 2018, 10:08:07 AM
Chelsea, I don't mean to intrude, but I was wondering if I might ask a question?
Yes of course you can. Ask away.
The Pilot you've referred to a few times during your story, is it off I40 on Strawberry Plains Pike across from the Cracker Barrel and next door to the Arby's?
Quote from: Sarah1979 on September 11, 2018, 01:52:17 PM
The Pilot you've referred to a few times during your story, is it off I40 on Strawberry Plains Pike across from the Cracker Barrel and next door to the Arby's?
No hon, the one Im talking about is actually in my town of Morristown on west Morris blvd. Its the only one on the west end of town. I have been to the one your talking about but only in boy mode. lol
Chelsea
Ohh, ok, because I stop at that one a lot when I pass by Knoxville. I was actually just there... last week I think. August 26th to be specific. My first ten mile run. :)
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea:
You are progressing so quickly and your appearance is becoming undeniably female... face, hair, etc..... you may be coming out sooner that you had planned. It is most likely starting to become difficult concealing your female body.
I am certain that you will be getting regular male-fail soon if not already.
I just hope that you can get your mom and your finances all in order so you can concentrate on your transition goals.
Please continue keeping us all up to date as you have been doing.
Hugs and hugs and hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on September 11, 2018, 03:43:31 PM
@Chelsea
Dear Chelsea:
You are progressing so quickly and your appearance is becoming undeniably female... face, hair, etc..... you may be coming out sooner that you had planned. It is most likely starting to become difficult concealing your female body.
I am certain that you will be getting regular male-fail soon if not already.
I just hope that you can get your mom and your finances all in order so you can concentrate on your transition goals.
Please continue keeping us all up to date as you have been doing.
Hugs and hugs and hugs,
Danielle
Danielle it is very difficult already. I had more looks today from a couple guys and I could tell they were talking about me. I just smiled and went about my business. It really don't bother me at all. What does bother me is playing boy when I'm not that person anymore. I got into another argument with mom today because I ask her what it cost for an adult to have a name change. She knows that I'm on HRT and still acts like I'm her little boy.
My body and face has changed so much and I know mom can see it, yet she acts like nothing is going on. I was going to post a picture of my body for my 6 month update but I was a little embarrassed. I took a pic last night that I posted below of what I look like. This is the first body pic I have posted except the pre HRT herbal pics from months ago. Keep in mind that I was on herbal hormones for almost three years before starting HRT and I already had a very feminine shape. I already wear very loose clothes in boy mode but I'm not shaped like a boy as you can tell. Winter is almost here and I might make it through that with big clothing but on April 3rd I'm going full time. I'm ready in a way but scared to death in other ways.
I remember when I started this thread the list of things that I wanted to have done and still do but, The only thing I need to start is my voice. I am getting a voice therapy appointment next week because I just have 7 months left. Everything else I want I can get when the time is right. I just want to be me. The real me.
(https://i.imgur.com/mxzTNoe.jpg)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on September 11, 2018, 10:37:58 PM
Danielle it is very difficult already. I had more looks today from a couple guys and I could tell they were talking about me. I just smiled and went about my business. It really don't bother me at all. What does bother me is playing boy when I'm not that person anymore. I got into another argument with mom today because I ask her what it cost for an adult to have a name change. She knows that I'm on HRT and still acts like I'm her little boy.
My body and face has changed so much and I know mom can see it, yet she acts like nothing is going on. I was going to post a picture of my body for my 6 month update but I was a little embarrassed. I took a pic last night that I posted below of what I look like. This is the first body pic I have posted except the pre HRT herbal pics from months ago. Keep in mind that I was on herbal hormones for almost three years before starting HRT and I already had a very feminine shape. I already wear very loose clothes in boy mode but I'm not shaped like a boy as you can tell. Winter is almost here and I might make it through that with big clothing but on April 3rd I'm going full time. I'm ready in a way but scared to death in other ways.
I remember when I started this thread the list of things that I wanted to have done and still do but, The only thing I need to start is my voice. I am getting a voice therapy appointment next week because I just have 7 months left. Everything else I want I can get when the time is right. I just want to be me. The real me.
(https://i.imgur.com/mxzTNoe.jpg)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hi Chelsea, 11 September 2018
You look fantastic. I'd like to know what you did to obtain the shape I see in the mirror. I could use some pointers, aside from my boobs, which are pointers. I hope things are getting better for you. You seem to be past the worrying about how others perceive you. I don't see anything male in your pictures; you have always looked very feminine in the photos I have seen in your posts.
Keep going, you will be fine. Thanks for keeping all of us updated on your progress. Please continue to take care of yourself; you are doing great.
Best Always, All My Love
Chris
@Chelsea
Wow Chelsea - what a great figure - the reflection in the mirror is very impressive! hourglass perfection!
sent you a pm that I hope will help, personal stuff etc.
Sonja
Chelsea
You have nothing to worry about on both counts.
Your face is unmistakably feminine. The mirror reflection proves you have a woman's curves - perfect shapeliness.
Good luck with your Mom - even if she won't come round yet, I'm sure she will in time.
I am so happy for you.
Hugs
Pamela
Lord preserve me Chelsea! what an arse!
Tell us the secret is it only HRT or is dedicated diet and exercise as well. A woman's pert derriere is the hardest thing to achieve. I hit the HRT and exercise to gain some effect but I would kill for such lovely figure. I bet you rock most dresses very well indeed.!
I'm so jealous, Kirsten[emoji3317]
PS I made enquiries for voice lessons today. I would love to hear any pointers and experiences of your voice development regime.
Quote from: Kirsteneklund7 on September 12, 2018, 05:49:02 AM
Lord preserve me Chelsea! what an arse!
Tell us the secret is it only HRT or is dedicated diet and exercise as well. A woman's pert derriere is the hardest thing to achieve. I hit the HRT and exercise to gain some effect but I would kill for such lovely figure. I bet you rock most dresses very well indeed.!
I'm so jealous, Kirsten[emoji3317]
PS I made enquiries for voice lessons today. I would love to hear any pointers and experiences of your voice development regime.
Kristen hun, Thank you so much but trust me that I'm not all that. I'm way too skinny mostly because I am so active during the day.
Anyways to answer your question its not just HRT. I eat everything I can get my hands on because I fight to keep weight on. I always have. I have exercised religiously, 3 days a week for about 8 months strait. I have 10 pound ankle weights that I use for my butt and thighs doing kickbacks and things like that. I also do a lot of setups to keep my stomach flat as I can. Before I started HRT I already had a feminine shape from the three years of herbs.
A lot of the foods I eat are high in Phytoestrogens like flax seeds, soy milk and things like that mixed with something fatty to keep my weight on. Message me if you want to know more. I still take herbs in small doses that I cant talk about here. I have blood test every three months and so far everything has been great.
I hope I answered your questions and PM me if you want to know any details.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Chelsea you look incredible! You have such an amazing feminine figure. I am soooo jealous! You are progressing so well. I'm sorry it is still a struggle for you with your mother. I can't offer you many words of encouragement with that other than to say give her more time and hopefully she will eventually come round.
I understand what you mean about voice. My voice is currently at the top of my list as the most urgent thing to fix. I also have a voice therapy appointment next week, it will be my first. I hope your appointment goes well and you can quickly get your voice back to where it was at your last appointment.
Quote from: Chelsea on September 11, 2018, 10:37:58 PM
I just want to be me. The real me.
You can say that again sister!Hugs,
Jayne
Chelsea, I can't find anything specific about the cost in your state, but I did see that you have to go to your County Clerk's office to get a "Petition for Change of Name" form. I'm sure they can give you more specific information about the process and timeline.
You're looking great and will be ready when you go full time!
Judi
Chelsea, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to clutter your thread with irrelevancy.
Quote from: Sarah1979 on September 12, 2018, 02:11:44 PM
Chelsea, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to clutter your thread with irrelevancy.
Its no problem at all. ;)
Chelsea
I got my Petition and Order for my legal name change this morning! Its getting real now. I got to save up $159.50 to do it and go before a judge. That is going to be embarrassing in front of people lol. I will change my gender marker later because of the stupid laws here and I have to live as a woman for a year and from the way I read it here in Tennessee they want you to have GCS before they will do it. If that's the case I will go out of state and do it like a very close friend of mine did. Im not messing around anymore, its time!
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on September 13, 2018, 08:21:48 AM
I got my Petition and Order for my legal name change this morning! Its getting real now. I got to save up $159.50 to do it and go before a judge. That is going to be embarrassing in front of people lol. I will change my gender marker later because of the stupid laws here and I have to live as a woman for a year and from the way I read it here in Tennessee they want you to have GCS before they will do it. If that's the case I will go out of state and do it like a very close friend of mine did. Im not messing around anymore, its time!
Hugs,
Chelsea
Congratulations on the big step. It will feel awesome when you start seeing offical things with the correct name on them.
Check up on your state laws on gender marker change on your drivers license. GCS may only be needed for gender marker change on birth certificate. Federal things like Social Security and Passport only require the letter from your doctor. If I knew how, I'd link to the the passport thread that explains the language of the letter needing to be just exactly perfect.
I'm in Wisconsin and they update drivers license with doctor letter and update at Social Security first. GCS required for birth certificate change here and being 56 and probably never needing to use it anywhere, I mostly likely won't have it fixed if I do get GCS.
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
Great news Chelsea! Certainly check on your local regulations. TN will not change gender marker on the birth cert. but you may not need to.
This may be the info you need for your driver's license.
1340-01-13-.19 CHANGES OF INFORMATION, DUPLICATES.
(2) License, temporary license or certificate for driving holders may obtain a revised license, temporary license or certificate for driving reflecting changes in personal information shown on the license or temporary license including name, address, date of birth, physical description, social security number, and organ/tissue donor status.
Quote from: Chelsea on September 13, 2018, 08:21:48 AM
I got my Petition and Order for my legal name change this morning! Its getting real now. I got to save up $159.50 to do it and go before a judge. That is going to be embarrassing in front of people lol. I will change my gender marker later because of the stupid laws here and I have to live as a woman for a year and from the way I read it here in Tennessee they want you to have GCS before they will do it.
I'm not sure how it is in TN, but here in Florida the only people allowed in the courtroom during my hearing were those I brought with me. So not only was there no embarrassment, but I had a cheering section. Twelve friends and family members were there for me.
Having been born in Michigan, I can't change the BC gender marker until GCS. I'm not even bothering to change the name until then. I haven't needed it for a single thing, and pretty much everything else is done now. It's all about the name change court order, SSC, and drivers license.
Good luck!
Stephanie
Quote from: JudiBlueEyes on September 13, 2018, 10:39:47 AM
Great news Chelsea! Certainly check on your local regulations. TN will not change gender marker on the birth cert. but you may not need to.
This may be the info you need for your driver's license.
1340-01-13-.19 CHANGES OF INFORMATION, DUPLICATES.
(2) License, temporary license or certificate for driving holders may obtain a revised license, temporary license or certificate for driving reflecting changes in personal information shown on the license or temporary license including name, address, date of birth, physical description, social security number, and organ/tissue donor status.
Thank you Judi. I could care less about my birth certificate. I'm only interested in changing it on my drivers license. If they give me a hard time I have family all over and will just go out of state and change it. Then when get a new one here they will have too. Also my height on my license says I'm 6 foot. lol No idea how that happened because I'm 5'9.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Steph2.0 on September 13, 2018, 10:50:51 AM
I'm not sure how it is in TN, but here in Florida the only people allowed in the courtroom during my hearing were those I brought with me. So not only was there no embarrassment, but I had a cheering section. Twelve friends and family members were there for me.
Having been born in Michigan, I can't change the BC gender marker until GCS. I'm not even bothering to change the name until then. I haven't needed it for a single thing, and pretty much everything else is done now. It's all about the name change court order, SSC, and drivers license.
Good luck!
Stephanie
Thank you Steph.
I would feel a lot better if there was not a court room full of people while I do this. lol
My friend got her license out of state and then had one made here. Lot of work but there is a way around all this crap.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on September 13, 2018, 08:21:48 AM
Im not messing around anymore, its time!
You know the time is right for you and you are going for it!
Chelsea is a girl on a mission! So proud of you.
Hugs,
Jayne
These last 6 or 7 months of being on here I have heard so many compliments. Everyone has told me that I'm pretty and that I should pass well. I hear exactly the same things on FaceBook also. This has helped my confidence so much that I have been wanting to get out there in the world and be myself.
Over the last few weeks I have starting going out more trying to get myself used to it. Yesterday Joni wanted to color my natural hair and see what she could do to it. I was already in full girl mode and she talked me into going to a dollar store and a beauty store as myself. Joni hid the lace of the wig with a scarf and I thought it was cute so we went with it. Beth wears hers exactly like this also. I'm very sad to say that It didn't go well at all. I most defiantly am not at all passable at this point in my transition.
While in the dollar store a guy told the cashier Sue (I know Sue very well) that he thought I was steeling something. I have no Idea what that was about. Maybe he picked up on my nervousness. After that we went to a beauty store to get die and conditioner. By the time I left the store with Joni I was the Main attraction at the freak show. I must have caught the attention of 4 other females in the store and I'm guessing the read right through me. I have never been so uncomfortable in my life. Two of the women actually followed us out to the car staring the entire time. This was the closest I have been in this transition to letting my old self out and handle it like I used to (but that would have ended up with someone calling the police on me.) Even though they was following us and obviously talking about me, I kept Charles at bay and got in the car.
I had a right to be there just like anyone else and only took up about a one foot square of space. I really hate people. I have learned the even if you get a thousand people telling you that you will pass well or you get a few hundred likes on FaceBook on your pictures that It has nothing on earth to do with people in the real world. I posted a picture of me yesterday in the car, before all the bad happened.
I thought I looked good enough or I would have stayed at home.
This is the very last Picture of me that will be taken in public for a very long time. I have been so mad all day that I had to keep myself home away from everyone. Looks like I am going to have to keep playing like am a boy or come out and be treated like a freak. Who ever said sit back and enjoy the ride? I have had nothing but bad the entire time in doing this. I don't have a punching bag so I just posted my feelings here. Thanks to everyone for listening to my vent.
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/SQfZgqP.jpg)
So sorry to read abort your bad experience out yesterday. I prefer to be out with the protection of friends, but on several occasions have gone into a store on my own, and can see the other women checking me out. It feels awkward, but I realize that I have to start somewhere with the hope that eventually my feminine presentation will be more passable.
From your picture, I think you look terrific.
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Chelsea, I am sorry that it caused you distress like that. Based on your recount of the incidents I don't read failure. Questioning, yes. Failure, no. It sounds more like you had them wondering and unsure. That's a good thing. Sure, we all want 100% pass and want to bury ourselves until the magic happens. If I waited for that I'd never be out in public. I'm 24/7 now. Do I pass, nope. Am I uncomfortable? Sometimes but mostly not. I do not get any sideshow attraction stares. If I do, let them. They're probably envious of something. Smile at them and move on.
Be who you are, be proud. It's the uncertainty and nervousness that got their attention. Only one way to fix that. Although, beating on a punching bag to vent sounds like a good plan :)
Faith
@Chelsea My dearest Chelsea:I heart goes out to you, unpleasant things like you just experienced can be devastating to your self confidence and self assurance as you go out and about in the world as "Chelsea" .... but please don't give up.... failures can be looked at as a learning experience and a way to keep refining our approach toward success.
As you know, I am a fan of
Winston Churchill and the many quotes that he is famous for...
...so here is one that fits your situation:
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."Next time you go out as Chelsea, go with an accepting friend or two...
and you must "get back on the horse" and go out again.....
...the old saying of
safety in numbers is really true.
I have had my own moments in the past where if I didn't have my like-minded friends along with me I would have felt miserable in my failure.
Here are a few more inspirational words that will help you to affirm that you continue in your journey toward success.
There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.
Colin Powell Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.
Og MandinoHang in there
Chelsea... I know from my own personal experience that what you went through can be very tough and discouraging.... remember, in these early stages, safety in numbers... have at least a freind with you next time, and there will be a next time.... please!!!!
Thank you for your update, I always look for your thread when I login to Susan's Place. Please keep all of your followers informed of your life events as you have been doing.
Hugs and hugs and hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on September 17, 2018, 11:04:17 AM
@Chelsea
My dearest Chelsea:
I heart goes out to you, unpleasant things like you just experienced can be devastating to your self confidence and self assurance as you go out and about in the world as "Chelsea" .... but please don't give up.... failures can be looked at as a learning experience and a way to keep refining our approach toward success.
As you know, I am a fan of Winston Churchill and the many quotes that he is famous for...
...so here is one that fits your situation:
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."
Next time you go out as Chelsea, go with an accepting friend or two... and you must "get back on the horse" and go out again.....
...the old saying of safety in numbers is really true.
I have had my own moments in the past where if I didn't have my like-minded friends along with me I would have felt miserable in my failure.
Here are a few more inspirational words that will help you to affirm that you continue in your journey toward success.
There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.
Colin Powell
Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.
Og Mandino
Hang in there Chelsea... I know from my own personal experience that what you went through can be very tough and discouraging.... remember, in these early stages, safety in numbers... have at least a freind with you next time, and there will be a next time.... please!!!!
Thank you for your update, I always look for your thread when I login to Susan's Place. Please keep all of your followers informed of your life events as you have been doing.
Hugs and hugs and hugs,
Danielle
I took Joni and Beth both with me. I noticed that on the way in the store that I looked way out of place. The problem is that Im not passable. Not at all. I look more like a cute guy trying to play girl. If I had looked more like a real girl then none of that stuff would have happened at all. Its me that needs a lot of work. I will give it a few years to see. If not I have made a terrible mistake in thinking I will just blend in with everyone. Its gonna be a long time before I do that again.
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on September 17, 2018, 01:43:01 PM
I took Joni and Beth both with me. I noticed that on the way in the store that I looked way out of place. The problem is that Im not passable. Not at all. I look more like a cute guy trying to play girl. If I had looked more like a real girl then none of that stuff would have happened at all. Its me that needs a lot of work. I will give it a few years to see. If not I have made a terrible mistake in thinking I will just blend in with everyone. Its gonna be a long time before I do that again.
Chelsea
@Chelsea Dearest Chelsea: (https://i.imgur.com/YEB6uE0.jpg)
Love ya girl.... stay strong, stay determined.
Hugs and wishing you better days ahead.
Danielle
Hi Chelsea,
Been reading the commentary here. Unfortunately, the online life is not what the physical "meatspace", space is like. Yes, online support is good, but it has its limitation, physical support from the community is paramount. I found out the hard way too. Going on 6years hrt this end of November 2018, going literally for mail fail. There is some things that the real life tg community can teach us, that an online community cannot, no matter how hard it tries.
I bypassed meeting real life support, due to family, home, school and work obligations. But I realize that support is ME support and I must meet other truelife LGBTQ for real life community support and development. I myself have been forcing myself to meet others and its unbelievable how butch, androgynous mix I and and confusion I present to others and confuse myself too at times.
Truelife support cannot be bypassed.
My 2 cents...
Just my 2 cents.
Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk
Hey Chelsea, sorry you had a bad experience.
Going by the the pictures you post though, I'd say your issue is with your confidence rather than passing. You look way more feminine than my 56 yo 6'2" 230 pound body can hope for. I've been full time for a little over a year now.
It's not confidence in your appearance (which will come) but a confidence in knowing that you belong, that you have the right to be who you want to be, to be who you are.
I still have some bad days where my confidence gets shaken but so far I've bounced back. I've been lucky that I've had no incidents like your recent adventure and
I live in a mostly conservative area, so it's not due to living in a more accepting community. My lack of problems here also leads me to believe that most people really don't care.
I know it's easier to say "get confident" than it is to do it and I wish I had some magic words or infinite wisdom for you.
I can tell you though that all of us that have that confidence were also scared s***less at one time.
You'll get there.
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
Hi Chelsea,
I am really sorry you had that crappy experience. Don't give up on yourself. There is more to passing than just the way you look. You need to be confident in who you are. This is an area that still needs some work. You are doing incredibly well so far. There will be times when your day just turns to crap. I'm glad you posted about it here to vent. Get the anger and frustration out of your system then pick yourself up and keep moving forward. You've got this Chelsea. I believe in you.
Below I have picked out some of the things you said in your venting post. I did this to try and highlight how the language we use towards ourselves can have a big impact on our mood. I am not trying to pick on you while you are feeling down, so please don't take this the wrong way.
Quote
I most defiantly am not at all passable at this point in my transition.
Yes, you
are passable. As far as your looks alone, I think you've nailed it. I haven't heard you speak, so I can't comment on your voice. What I think is letting you down is your self confidence. Your photos are 100% female so there must be other factors letting you down.
Quote
While in the dollar store a guy told the cashier Sue (I know Sue very well) that he thought I was steeling something. I have no Idea what that was about. Maybe he picked up on my nervousness.
If you look visibly nervous, you will attract unwanted attention. This guy's first thought was to report you to the cashier for being a possible thief. You were clearly nervous being out in public as Chelsea but he didn't know that. He only saw s nervous looking person. That doesn't mean you don't pass.
Quote
...By the time I left the store with Joni I was the Main attraction at the freak show.
You are NOT a freak. Please don't refer to yourself that way. You are afraid and still finding your way. That doesn't make you a freak, it makes you someone to be admired for having the courage to do whatever it takes to be yourself. You are awesome!
Quote
....I'm guessing the read right through me.
You have no idea what others are thinking. Unless they flat out speak their mind all you can do is guess their thoughts and more often than not, you are likely to guess wrong. Just like that guy in the store who guessed that you might be a thief, he was wrong!
Quote
Two of the women actually followed us out to the car staring the entire time.
Were they following you or just happen to be going the same way? If they were staring at you, then why? Maybe they liked the way you dressed, or you reminded them of someone they know, or maybe they simply thought you looked really nice and were admiring you.
Quote
Even though they was following us and obviously talking about me....
How do you know they were talking about you? Did you hear what they were saying? Even if they were talking about you and saying things that were not nice, is it worth you getting upset over what some unknown strangers are thinking?
Quote
Looks like I am going to have to keep playing like am a boy or come out and be treated like a freak. Who ever said sit back and enjoy the ride?
Again, you are absolutely NOT a freak. Don't give up on yourself. This is a ride that can be enjoyed very much. Like any roller coaster, there will be low points and high points. Hang in there through the lows, they will pass. And when the next high comes around you will have moved on from the last low and you will feel on top of the world.
Get yourself out there again. Build your confidence back up again. Keep telling yourself that you are Chelsea, you are a woman and you belong wherever you choose to go.
You've got this!!! Don't give up!!!
Really big hugs!
Jayne
What a bad experience. Just horrible. I agree that the ride is horrible for most of us. People are mean and they hurt us. They don't care but us in the community do. We understand. This is why people like us have problems with alcohol, drugs, depression, and suicide. This would definitely be a trigger event for myself and many others. If it triggers any of these seek help.
I hope that you realize that there are a lot of people in this world that would love to look like you.
Quote from: Jayne01 on September 19, 2018, 02:15:43 PM
Hi Chelsea,
I am really sorry you had that crappy experience. Don't give up on yourself. There is more to passing than just the way you look. You need to be confident in who you are. This is an area that still needs some work. You are doing incredibly well so far. There will be times when your day just turns to crap. I'm glad you posted about it here to vent. Get the anger and frustration out of your system then pick yourself up and keep moving forward. You've got this Chelsea. I believe in you.
Below I have picked out some of the things you said in your venting post. I did this to try and highlight how the language we use towards ourselves can have a big impact on our mood. I am not trying to pick on you while you are feeling down, so please don't take this the wrong way.
Yes, you are passable. As far as your looks alone, I think you've nailed it. I haven't heard you speak, so I can't comment on your voice. What I think is letting you down is your self confidence. Your photos are 100% female so there must be other factors letting you down.
If you look visibly nervous, you will attract unwanted attention. This guy's first thought was to report you to the cashier for being a possible thief. You were clearly nervous being out in public as Chelsea but he didn't know that. He only saw s nervous looking person. That doesn't mean you don't pass.
You are NOT a freak. Please don't refer to yourself that way. You are afraid and still finding your way. That doesn't make you a freak, it makes you someone to be admired for having the courage to do whatever it takes to be yourself. You are awesome!
You have no idea what others are thinking. Unless they flat out speak their mind all you can do is guess their thoughts and more often than not, you are likely to guess wrong. Just like that guy in the store who guessed that you might be a thief, he was wrong!
Were they following you or just happen to be going the same way? If they were staring at you, then why? Maybe they liked the way you dressed, or you reminded them of someone they know, or maybe they simply thought you looked really nice and were admiring you.
How do you know they were talking about you? Did you hear what they were saying? Even if they were talking about you and saying things that were not nice, is it worth you getting upset over what some unknown strangers are thinking?
Again, you are absolutely NOT a freak. Don't give up on yourself. This is a ride that can be enjoyed very much. Like any roller coaster, there will be low points and high points. Hang in there through the lows, they will pass. And when the next high comes around you will have moved on from the last low and you will feel on top of the world.
Get yourself out there again. Build your confidence back up again. Keep telling yourself that you are Chelsea, you are a woman and you belong wherever you choose to go.
You've got this!!! Don't give up!!!
Really big hugs!
Jayne
Jayne thank you for the post. You are absolutely right. I have no idea what other people are thinking. What I do know after my 46 years is distinguishing the types of looks. The guy in the dollar store thought I was hot. lol He checked me out a few times and that is fine because it didn't make me uncomfortable. Now as for as the women goes, two of them were nice to me when me a Joni was checking out. They didn't say anything but It wasn't awkward feeling. Its after we checked out and Joni was showing me these little things that you pierce your ears with that got everyone's attention.
Two of the women customers and the two that worked there was clearly talking about me and would not stop looking at me and that is when i got uncomfortable. I have no idea what they were talking about but it was about me. Yes i was nervous, very much but that is no excuse for the two customers to follow me to the car and stare a hole through me. They even drove around us just to get another look at me while Joni was looking for her keys.
My thoughts is if Joni had went in the store by herself that would not have happened. If I am so passable then what happened? It wasn't because they thought I was good looking at all. It was more of "what the heck is this person thinking" looks. Something they noticed was very obvious, I just don't know what or I would change it. Im a redhead with a very hot temper. If someone hurts my feelings I am ready to fight. I had to make myself get in the car that day.
I know trans girls that go full time as soon as they start HRT but I am not that person. It is very important that I pass. I dont think I have been on hormones long enough to do this. There are so many things I need before doing this. I need my voice, my teeth fixed, my real hair. It will be years before I have the cash to fix this stuff and I just think I am rushing this. I just found out that going in public while looking like a half-girl will not work. Im not giving up but if I will never pass then I have made a very big mistake and will have to rethink my life. Waiting for HRT to work is about as entertaining as sitting around watching the cars rust but, that is all I can do right now.
Chelsea
Quote from: gingerViktorKay on September 19, 2018, 05:50:00 PM
What a bad experience. Just horrible. I agree that the ride is horrible for most of us. People are mean and they hurt us. They don't care but us in the community do. We understand. This is why people like us have problems with alcohol, drugs, depression, and suicide. This would definitely be a trigger event for myself and many others. If it triggers any of these seek help.
I hope that you realize that there are a lot of people in this world that would love to look like you.
@gingerViktorKay thank you for the nice words. I do realize that and I have had people tell me the same thing. Most of what you are seeing is a lot of makeup and they are selfies. My body proportions are way off and I dont look like a woman yet and that's my issue.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hey Chelsea,
The bad day you had while out has shaken your confidence. Some people go full time very early in their transition, even before starting HRT. Others are on HRT for years and have not yet gone full time. There is no set time for when you should do this. You will know when it feels right for you. It's not even something you can really preplan. Eventually you get to a point where the possibility of having crappy days like the one you had is a better option than spending one more day not being yourself. I am just about at that point myself. I am almost full time with the exception of work. I have some time off work in December/January and my plan is to officially come out at work before my time off and when I return it will be as a woman. However, the reality is that I may not be able to wait until then. I too want to pass. My voice especially, is really letting me down right now. I still have plenty of black facial hairs and beard shadow which I have never been able to successfully cover up with makeup. My mannerisms and the way I walk would give me away, or at least raise suspicion. Despite all that, I have an unstoppable desire inside me to go full time just as I am now because each day I spend as John is worse than being stared at, talked about or made fun of. My point is that you don't feel ready now to go full time, but you don't know what the future will be. It could be that next month your confidence has returned and you too are faced with an unstoppable desire to be Chelsea full time no mater what, or it might be in six months or a year.
Stay strong, learn what you can from the crappy days and keep moving forward.
Hugs,
Jayne
Chelsea I don't know what the girls saw but you are passing as evident from the reaction by the guy. As hard as it may seem, let it roll off your back. Don't fret over body proportions. Look around and you'll see all types of body shapes and sizes. Focus on mannerisms and how you move. Don't be nervous. Be more fluid, not stiff. That is a big different in men and women.
You're doing well!
Judi
Quote from: JudiBlueEyes on September 20, 2018, 10:07:21 AM
Chelsea I don't know what the girls saw but you are passing as evident from the reaction by the guy. As hard as it may seem, let it roll off your back. Don't fret over body proportions. Look around and you'll see all types of body shapes and sizes. Focus on mannerisms and how you move. Don't be nervous. Be more fluid, not stiff. That is a big different in men and women.
You're doing well!
Judi
@Chelesa:
cc: @JudiBlueEyes Dear Chelsea:I agree with what Judi stated in her reply comment. I also agree with all the other reply comments on your thread...
you appear to be very passable...
...and as Judi said: "Don't fret over body proportions"
Look around at all of the cis-females, most of them are not necessarily happy with their own body proportions and they are obviously "passing" primarily because of the body movements and mannerisms that they have learned since childhood....
In my case, it was definitely a learning curve that I had to work very hard on, getting those things right in order to pass full-time.
Obviously voice and hair are a big deal .... I know that on your list is voice therapy, I hope you can find the finances to continue doing more of that soon.
Regarding your "natural" no makeup, no wig, photo that you posted on
September 6th I think that you are looking quite feminine and at this point your concerns about your Adams Apple probably should not be on your immediate list in order to pass reliably.
Look around, there are cis-women walking around out there that may appear to have something that could look like an Adams Apple... of course a necklace or choker can draw attention away from that if you are still self-conscious about it.
The old saying applies here: "When you fall off your horse you have to get back on to keep up your confidence."
Thanks for keeping us all updated, we are your biggest fans, we are all rooting for you.
I will be eagerly looking for your next posting on your thread or anywhere else around the forums.... and feel free to continue with our PM and/or email exchanges. I am always happy to hear from you anyway that you want to communicate.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Quote from: Chelsea on September 20, 2018, 09:00:38 AM
@gingerViktorKay thank you for the nice words. I do realize that and I have had people tell me the same thing. Most of what you are seeing is a lot of makeup and they are selfies. My body proportions are way off and I dont look like a woman yet and that's my issue.
Hugs,
Chelsea
I know how you feel. I really don't want to be andro, but I have no choice.
My issue is that now I have to rock a goatee while I get electrolysis. It makes me feel so bad. :(
I agree with
@Alaskan Danielle about the presence of an Adam's Apple.
"
Look around, there are cis-women walking around out there that may appear to have something that could look like an Adams Apple."
My therapist told me several times mine wasn't large and I realized she was correct, once I started to look around for that attribute in women my age. In full disclosure I eventually had surgery to lessen it, but even my surgeon said it wasn't large. It just was to me but I needed not to fret over it. I think the mannerisms and movements are probably bigger "tells" because even a woman who is masculine for the most part still walks like a women.
This in between time is the hardest. Its a test. You're doing well.
Judi
Happy Update
The ones that follow me know that my brother has been fighting cancer for quite some time. He has gone through so many treatments. A few months back they finally got his insurance to approve proton therapy. He had small cell lung cancer witch doesn't have that good of a survival rate. He finished all of his treatments about three weeks ago. The last few days he had to go to three different doctors to asses his progress and all three doctors have to agree before they give him the results. I am very happy to report (with my eyes tearing up as I type) that my brother is in full remission and is cancer free!
They are going to give him small radiation treatments on his brain because this type of cancer sometimes moves to the brain and they said its just for a precaution. I haven't seen him in the mood he was in last night in years. I know this post has nothing to do with me or my transition but had to let everyone know. Even though I got a big taste of how cruel the world is last weekend, this news has made me want to pick myself up and give it another go. Im just going to be a little more picky about where I go until I get the hang of it.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on September 21, 2018, 01:59:13 PM
Happy Update
The ones that follow me know that my brother has been fighting cancer for quite some time. He has gone through so many treatments. A few months back they finally got his insurance to approve proton therapy. He had small cell lung cancer witch doesn't have that good of a survival rate. He finished all of his treatments about three weeks ago. The last few days he had to go to three different doctors to asses his progress and all three doctors have to agree before they give him the results. I am very happy to report (with my eyes tearing up as I type) that my brother is in full remission and is cancer free!
They are going to give him small radiation treatments on his brain because this type of cancer sometimes moves to the brain and they said its just for a precaution. I haven't seen him in the mood he was in last night in years. I know this post has nothing to do with me or my transition but had to let everyone know. Even though I got a big taste of how cruel the world is last weekend, this news has made me want to pick myself up and give it another go. Im just going to be a little more picky about where I go until I get the hang of it.
Hugs,
Chelsea
@ChelseaDear Chelsea: Wow, this is terrific news.... isn't nice after all the not so good updates and things happening in your life that you have something very good to report....
I can just about see your happy an bubbling mood as I read your "Happy Update"
I am so glad for your brother and your immediate family..... thanks for sharing with us.
Hugs and continued well wishes,
Danielle
This is such wonderful news. I am so happy for your brother, you and the rest of your family.
Chelsea thank you sharing a part of your life. While it may not be transition related, it related to you and your wellbeing, as we know you care for your brother. I hope all continues to go well for him.
Judi
@ChelseaAbsolutely you should share the news ... shout it from rooftops (but please, get dressed first) ... positive news like this should be shared as much as possible.
Worked a long time on coloring my natural hair this weekend. No more grey! We used the same colors as the wig even with highlights.
Do you girls think I am good for round two in public? I'm going to keep trying this even though I feel like im going to fail.
I can do a great female walk but Its hard to focus on it when I'm nervous and im sure I will goof it up. I still think I am a few years from passing but I will try this again. Can I pull off short hair? I hate short hair but its all I got at the moment until it grows out and the wig attracts to much attention I think. I don't know what to think, I just want to pass. lol
(https://i.imgur.com/pXdkT07.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/gGVsdHI.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/15B0FaD.jpg)
I'm so proud of you for wanting to get back on the horse! I think you will rock it with your short hair. I would suggest going someplace where you don't have to be self-conscious where people are mostly going about their own business and not paying attention to others. It may seem counter-intuitive, but a place where there are lots of people like the mall where others aren't really looking at other people but being self-absorbed in their shopping experience. With the right body language and your feminine body shape people will tend to see what is presented to them without a second glance.
I went to a whole foods once and I was so freakin' nervous, but I just went about my shopping like I belonged there and no one paid me any mind, not even the cashier.
Julie
From the pictures, there is no question in my mind. You look great. Picture 2 & 3 are a bit dark but #1 shows it real well. Go knock'm dead.
Quote from: Chelsea on September 26, 2018, 08:52:38 AM
Worked a long time on coloring my natural hair this weekend. No more grey! We used the same colors as the wig even with highlights.
Do you girls think I am good for round two in public? I'm going to keep trying this even though I feel like im going to fail.
I can do a great female walk but Its hard to focus on it when I'm nervous and im sure I will goof it up. I still think I am a few years from passing but I will try this again. Can I pull off short hair? I hate short hair but its all I got at the moment until it grows out and the wig attracts to much attention I think. I don't know what to think, I just want to pass. lol
(https://i.imgur.com/pXdkT07.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/gGVsdHI.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/15B0FaD.jpg)
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea:You rock with how you fixed your natural hair... and the color is beautiful on you and compliments your appearance.
Indeed, even though you experienced a recent male-fail, you are doing the correct thing to get back out there as "Chelsea" .... even though failures are discouraging and disappointing, they are an important part of learning how to succeed as you refine your appearance and body movements.
All 3 of your photos are terrific, just so you know, my favorite is #2 ...
you might consider using that as your new Avatar/Profile photo..... and from now on you can ditch the wig, it is not needed, your natural hair is more convincing to your female appearance.... and as side note, you do not need to be concerned about your
adam's apple ... not an issue in any of the photos.
When you do go out and about again, be certain to be with your friends, they can give you any on-the-spot support that may be required. Hold your head high, act and walk confidently and with all of the self-assurance that you can muster. If stared at or perhaps if you notice that others are talking about you in a bad way, IGNORE them and walk away along with your friends with a smile on your face, head held high and showing your self confidence.
Thank you for sharing your photos and your thoughts. This is all very exciting.
I will eagerly be looking for your additional updates.
Hugs, [emoji173]
Danielle
Quote from: Chelsea on September 26, 2018, 08:52:38 AM
.
.
I can do a great female walk but Its hard to focus on it when I'm nervous and im sure I will goof it up. I still think I am a few years from passing but I will try this again. Can I pull off short hair? I hate short hair but its all I got at the moment until it grows out and the wig attracts to much attention I think. I don't know what to think, I just want to pass. lol
(https://i.imgur.com/pXdkT07.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/gGVsdHI.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/15B0FaD.jpg)
Hi Chelsea, 26 September 2018
".... I just want to pass. lol" I think you know me well enough to know that I will not BS you. You pass and the photo you posted of your figure is a "to die for" dream for most cis women. You're so far ahead of the curve you have nothing to worry about. Ditch the wig because you haven't needed it for a long time. Your natural hair is so natural, which goes a long way towards making your appearance cis.
One piece of advice from an old biddy: Don't wear
"clodhoppers" when you go out.
Best Always, All my Love Always
Christine
I agree, you rock that style girl!!! Great job on the coloring.
As to walking and keeping in focus, don't think of it like that. Think of it as if you've been walking that way forever. Deep inside you have been, but you've hidden it and now's the time to let it out and go.
"... I just want to pass. lol" Ding, Ding, Ding, We have a winner!!!!
Judi
Very nice pictures Chelsea. How anyone could ever misgender you is beyond me girl.
Hugs,
Laurie
Thanks to everyone for the nice comments. I guess I am done with the wig for now and see how it goes. It just takes me forever to fix my own hair like that. Yeah I know, get used to it right? lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on September 26, 2018, 09:26:59 PM
Thanks to everyone for the nice comments. I guess I am done with the wig for now and see how it goes. It just takes me forever to fix my own hair like that. Yeah I know, get used to it right? lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
@Chelsea Yes it takes longer but that's part of your new world! lol
Take care Chelsea!
Sonja.
Who cares how long it takes when it looks THAT good? ;)
@Chelsea @JulieAllana @Sonja Everything seems to take longer as a woman.... pre-transition I could take a shower, wash and dry my hair, and towel off, all in a matter of 5 minutes tops.... now it is more like 20 minutes or more depending on what I want to do with my hair... >>> the time taker... is the hair.
Then of course trimming eyebrows, make up, nail polish, etc.... those things can easily add a half hour to an hour (or even more) to the after-shower-time.
But is also most enjoyable taking care of our "new" bodies..
Hugs,
Danielle
Had a great day yesterday. Its probably not going to sound like a lot to most of you but its a milestone for me.
I went all over town yesterday just doing my regular everyday things but, I did them as Chelsea. The first place I stopped at I sit in the car for a while telling myself everything will be fine and it was. I went to about 7 places yesterday with not one issue. I even got a couple of compliments and a coupe guys checking me out. After the first two places I stopped at it seemed to get easier and I could feel my nerves settling down.
This was the first time that I have ever felt freedom like this and finally got to be me without one issue. Maybe it was the wig that gave me away last time or my nerves but I think I can get the hang of this. I know there will be some not so good times but days like yesterday make it all worth it and I am going to love living as a woman.
Hugs,
Chelsea
There you go and yes, it's a great milestone. We are all in different places in our paths but we all cross the same ones at some point. It only gets easier
Faith
What do you mean it isn't going to sound like alot to most of us? We have all or are all going to be there! This is most certainly HUGE for you. I am so proud of you taking yourself out of your comfort zone to grow as a woman. I only hope I an do so with as much courage as you have done when it is my time.
Love,
Julie
Quote from: Chelsea on October 01, 2018, 11:34:41 AM
Had a great day yesterday. Its probably not going to sound like a lot to most of you but its a milestone for me.
I went all over town yesterday just doing my regular everyday things but, I did them as Chelsea. The first place I stopped at I sit in the car for a while telling myself everything will be fine and it was. I went to about 7 places yesterday with not one issue. I even got a couple of compliments and a coupe guys checking me out. After the first two places I stopped at it seemed to get easier and I could feel my nerves settling down.
This was the first time that I have ever felt freedom like this and finally got to be me without one issue. Maybe it was the wig that gave me away last time or my nerves but I think I can get the hang of this. I know there will be some not so good times but days like yesterday make it all worth it and I am going to love living as a woman.
Hugs,
Chelsea
@Chelsea:
My Dear Chelsea: Whoooopie....
Wow-whee....
Wowzers ...... how can I tell you more emphatically about how pleased I am and how I feel about your update?
Absolutely a major blockbuster MILESTONE for you and something to make note of in your personal journal.
....this is such wonderful and delightful and affirming and confidence building news for you. This is absolutely terrific and I can imagine that you feel so very elated and
on-top-of-the-world about all of this.
I am thinking that you were correct about the wig and you being very nervous and unsure about yourself that was giving you male-fail, if you recall I suggested that you ditch the wig and go with your beautiful natural hair.
I am very happy that you are using that new natural hair picture in your Avatar/profile photo now...absolutely very beautiful for sure.
I am just overflowing with happiness for you.... I just want to reach out and give you a great big hug.
Thank you for posting and treating all of us to this wonderful update.
[emoji173] [emoji173] [emoji173]
Hugs and hugs and well wishes as always.
Danielle
Quote from: Chelsea on October 01, 2018, 11:34:41 AM
Had a great day yesterday. Its probably not going to sound like a lot to most of you but its a milestone for me.
I went all over town yesterday just doing my regular everyday things but, I did them as Chelsea. The first place I stopped at I sit in the car for a while telling myself everything will be fine and it was. I went to about 7 places yesterday with not one issue. I even got a couple of compliments and a coupe guys checking me out. After the first two places I stopped at it seemed to get easier and I could feel my nerves settling down.
This was the first time that I have ever felt freedom like this and finally got to be me without one issue. Maybe it was the wig that gave me away last time or my nerves but I think I can get the hang of this. I know there will be some not so good times but days like yesterday make it all worth it and I am going to love living as a woman.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hi Chelsea,
That sounds so different to your last major public outing! When are you going out again as Chelsea ? Is the idea much less nerve wracking. ?
You are inspiring me to get out in public in girl mode !
This sounds like a new era for you where you can go out as your female self whenever you want .
Your post is of great interest to me & I wish you more success & satisfaction as Chelsea. Inspirational !
Kirsten[emoji898]
Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk
I love your avatar. You look great! I'm glad you found the stress level to go down and you were comfortable being out as yourself. I think your natural hair looks wonderful and the wig, while nice may have drawn unwanted attention. Overall this was a momentous event for you as it was for me when I first ventured out as myself. Congratulations!
Judi
Its not often I get to post two updates in the same day. Actually I don't think I ever have. I went home today after half-way changing into boy mode with just a tiny bit of makeup on and my hair still all curly and plopped down in a chair right beside mom. She looked at me in disbelief and I said how do you like my hair mom? She said you don't look like my boy. I said I'm not your boy mom but, look at this. I showed her the picture below or the one I'm currently using as my avatar. I ask her if she knew who that was. She ask me "Is that really you?" I said yes mom its me. I told her now you have seen me and this curly hair so what is the big deal with me coming or going like that? She told me because she don't believe in it.
In total amazement I didn't push her and left it at that. This was the very first time that she said one word about me being trans. I did get a picture of mom when she was in her 20's and I'm starting to look a lot like she did. I showed her that picture of her beside mine and you could see the gears turning. The last thing I said was "Mom, I'm starting to get weird looks dressing like a guy so let me know when I look silly enough for you."
I feel like she might be coming around but its hard to tell. Only time will tell. If she would just let me be I could go full time a lot sooner. Anyway thank all of you for the sweet comments. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/kprPnaE.jpg)
Wow. That is really encouraging! Just the mere possibility that she is coming around has my face cracking in a smile.
Love,
Julie
Quote from: Chelsea on October 01, 2018, 10:33:34 PM
.
.
I feel like she might be coming around but its hard to tell. Only time will tell. If she would just let me be I could go full time a lot sooner. Anyway thank all of you for the sweet comments. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/kprPnaE.jpg)
Hi Chelsea, 02 October 2018
Congratulations young Lady; you deserve all that is good in life. You will succeed.
Best Always, All my Love, Always
Chris
PS:
You are absolutely beautiful!!!
I'm happy to hear that you stayed cool. I hope she comes around. Seems like you definitely gave her some good food for thought. My mom was initially accepting, but not fully on board. After seeing me become a happier person she came around big time. Most parents just want their children to be happy and they can't believe how transitioning will do that for us. Of all her daughters, I look closest to her. I'm super stoked by all your progress, you deserve all the good happening to you!
Quote from: Chelsea on October 01, 2018, 10:33:34 PM
Its not often I get to post two updates in the same day. Actually I don't think I ever have. I went home today after half-way changing into boy mode with just a tiny bit of makeup on and my hair still all curly and plopped down in a char right beside mom. She looked at me in disbelief and I said how do you like my hair mom? She said you don't look like my boy. I said I'm not your boy mom but, look at this. I showed her the picture below or the one I'm currently using as my avatar. I ask her if she knew who that was. She ask me "Is that really you?" I said yes mom its me. I told her now you have seen me and this curly hair so what is the big deal with me coming or going like that? She told me because she don't believe in it.
In total amazement I didn't push her and left it at that. This was the very first time that she said one word about me being trans. I did get a picture of mom when she was in her 20's and I'm starting to look a lot like she did. I showed her that picture of her beside mine and you could see the gears turning. The last thing I said was "Mom, I'm starting to get weird looks dressing like a guy so let me know when I look silly enough for you."
I feel like she might be coming around but its hard to tell. Only time will tell. If she would just let me be I could go full time a lot sooner. Anyway thank all of you for the sweet comments. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Great 2nd update! From the way you described it I think that you have acceptance in your future.
I wish my folks were still around to see the real me :(, they both passed long before I had my mental bombshell.
Chelsea
I am so happy to read both your updates.
I know we can celebrate the first in that you went out and encountered no problems and gained confidence.
I believe we can cautiously celebrate the second in that your mom has shown just the first signs of possibly coming round to accept you; I honestly believe she will in her own time.
Sending you love and hugs
Pamela
Thank you for the update dear. You were very cool with your mom. Good! I can only imagine she will come around soon with you being discrete in your approach with her. You look so sweet!!!
Judi
Quote from: Chelsea on October 01, 2018, 10:33:34 PM
Its not often I get to post two updates in the same day. Actually I don't think I ever have. I went home today after half-way changing into boy mode with just a tiny bit of makeup on and my hair still all curly and plopped down in a chair right beside mom. She looked at me in disbelief and I said how do you like my hair mom? She said you don't look like my boy. I said I'm not your boy mom but, look at this. I showed her the picture below or the one I'm currently using as my avatar. I ask her if she knew who that was. She ask me "Is that really you?" I said yes mom its me. I told her now you have seen me and this curly hair so what is the big deal with me coming or going like that? She told me because she don't believe in it.
In total amazement I didn't push her and left it at that. This was the very first time that she said one word about me being trans. I did get a picture of mom when she was in her 20's and I'm starting to look a lot like she did. I showed her that picture of her beside mine and you could see the gears turning. The last thing I said was "Mom, I'm starting to get weird looks dressing like a guy so let me know when I look silly enough for you."
I feel like she might be coming around but its hard to tell. Only time will tell. If she would just let me be I could go full time a lot sooner. Anyway thank all of you for the sweet comments. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/kprPnaE.jpg)
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea: WOW, what a treat, 2 updates from you on the same day!!! .... and even better is that they were positive and happy updates too. I could just about hear the joy in your voice as I was reading them.
That was such wonderful news about your mom.... things are getting better and better, I will be eager to read your future report about your mom's acceptance.
Certainly presenting yourself as "Chelsea" ...
and with your natural hair... has made a big change in how you appear, and as is often said,
"success breeds success" ..... your confidence and seal-assurance have increased significantly and all of your followers are thrilled and very happy for you.
Hugs and continued well wishes,
Danielle
Quote from: Chelsea on October 01, 2018, 11:34:41 AM
Had a great day yesterday. Its probably not going to sound like a lot to most of you but its a milestone for me.
Not sound like a lot? This is huge!!
With this report, you have simultaneously triggered incredibly strong and happy memories for those of us who've already gone through it, and become an inspiration to those who are where you were just a month or even a week ago.
You have every right to be proud of yourself. You conquered your fears. It's so wonderful to watch you grow!
Stephanie
I know I been posting a lot lately so sorry about that. I feel better as you all can tell. I was digging through old pictures and made my first before and after. I wanted to show all of you. I know, I know, I'm just a picture poster. lol
The first one is about two years ago pre anything. You can see the misery clearly all over my face. I have no idea how I lived miserable that long. The second was about three days ago and, I will be on hormones 7 months in a couple days. I look in the mirror every single day and cant see the changes but, when I put these two pictures beside each other I almost swallowed my tongue. I cant believe that my face has changed that much in this length of time. It really got me excited. I'm not even full time yet and I already know that HRT has saved my life from that misery I felt all those years.
I will post my 7 month update in a couple days. ;)
(https://i.imgur.com/FKojWmd.jpg)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Misery? Oh my goodness, Yes! What a change and certainly for the better. Yes we do need to photo document the progress we make otherwise we never would seem to believe it. You are so happy looking now. Keep that in your heart forever.
Judi
Quote from: Chelsea on October 02, 2018, 05:58:15 PM
I know I been posting a lot lately so sorry about that. I feel better as you all can tell. I was digging through old pictures and made my first before and after. I wanted to show all of you. I know, I know, I'm just a picture poster. lol
The first one is about two years ago pre anything. You can see the misery clearly all over my face. I have no idea how I lived miserable that long. The second was about three days ago and, I will be on hormones 7 months in a couple days. I look in the mirror every single day and cant see the changes but, when I put these two pictures beside each other I almost swallowed my tongue. I cant believe that my face has changed that much in this length of time. It really got me excited. I'm not even full time yet and I already know that HRT has saved my life from that misery I felt all those years.
I will post my 7 month update in a couple days. ;)
(https://i.imgur.com/FKojWmd.jpg)
Hugs,
Chelsea
@Chelsea:
Dear Chelsea:You are finally getting the memo.... you look fantastic and you are now starting to believe it... the drastic change in your face and eyes and your beautiful natural hair.... all of that paints a credible picture of a very attractive and convincing woman.
HRT physical changes come along slowly and everyone gets disappointed if they are looking for significant changes too frequently.... I personally found that when I had planned a monthly appearance evaluation for myself that was about right, changes were most certainly quite noticeable.... and, well, your before and after pictures separated by about 2 1/2 years show the dramatic changes that can give a you real boost to your motivation to continue on to your goal.
Oh, by the way, in the past you had been frequently mentioning that your Adams Apple is one of the reasons for failing to pass..... please put that on the most furthest back burner well after voice therapy... in your latest picture it is not even close to being a big deal. Presenting yourself with your natural hair fixed in a nice feminine style as shown in your picture instead of the wig .... plus the use of proper makeup....and your slender and appealing body and that beautiful face and smile of yours disarms anyone seeing you that may have been thinking of outing you.
Thank you over and over again for sharing with all of your followers... we do really care for your well-being.
I am very, very happy for you.
Hugs and hugs [emoji173]
Danielle
I agree the change is amazing. I also agree that the adam's apple is not an issue.
Ah, Chelsea, gorgeous! GORGEOUS transformation!!!
Quote from: Chelsea on October 02, 2018, 05:58:15 PMI look in the mirror every single day and cant see the changes but, when I put these two pictures beside each other I almost swallowed my tongue. I cant believe that my face has changed that much in this length of time.
That shows the value of keeping a personal history of your transition. What a difference! Not just in the shape of the two faces, but in the expressions. That is an amazing transformation.
Hi Chelsea,
I have just caught up on your thread and WOW!!!!! Such fantastic updates from you. The incredible milestone of spending a day going out to multiple places as yourself and progressively becoming more confident as the day went on, then the glimmer of hope from your mother that she might be showing signs of coming round yo understanding who you really are.
And your before and after pictures!!!!
WOW! WOW! WOW! You don't look like the same person. You don't even look like brother and sister. You have transformed into a very beautiful woman who looks nothing like her former self. And I also agree with everyone else that you do not need that wig. Your natural hair is perfect and getting better each day.
Catching up on your thread has made my day. I am so incredibly happy for you. Keep up what you are doing because it is totally working!!! You rock girl!!!
Big hugs,
Jayne
Hi Chelsea! I just started following your thread I must say, you have a beautiful face. I think if anyone misgenders you, it's because they know your past and are just being mean jealous. Your mother seems to be coming around.
Hugs,
Donica.
Little update on the situation with my mom.
Yesterday I had to do something about my misery. Most of you know that the only person that will not accept me being trans is mom. It makes it really had to be myself when she told me that she never wants to see me as a woman. This has been going on for months. The car that she complains about me driving all the time was paid for in full by me back when I have plenty of cash. I have a brother and a sister that never helps out at all. I am the only one that does every single thing for her.
A very close friend let me use her car so I give mom her keys back. I told her that I'm not doing one more thing. I'm not taking her to work, going to the store, mowing the grass, anything. All she has to do is let me be myself and that seems to hard for some reason. I got up this morning and got ready as myself and told her if you don't want to see your new daughter then you better close you eyes because I'm going to work. I said if it bothers you that much call the police.
I worked all day in the shop as myself for the first time and it was great to have all the shop doors open and not having to hide. I hope none of you think I'm being mean. She just needs to realize that all this is silly. I would not care to do anything for her in the world but I'm not going to keep doing something for her and have to hide. I'm over it.
I'm getting my feet wet this week because I am going to try and be myself all week and see how this goes. Ordered food at the drive through today and when i got to the window I got a couple weird looks. The girl was really nice but I wasn't fooling anyone. Odd that so many people keep telling me that i am so passable but I have been clocked almost every time that I have been out except for one. This lets me know I still have a long road ahead of me.
hugs,
Chelsea
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea:Thank you for your update regarding your "mom" situation... I am certain that it was painful for you to write, but when I read it, and also knowing what you have previously stated about how you have taken care of your mom physically and monetarily.... you can not be blamed for your "new" attitude. You are becoming Chelsea, your mom doesn't accept you, your other siblings won't assist you in helping your mother, and you have your own financial difficulties and your personal plans to transition..... and you are getting no acceptance and no appreciation coming from anyone.
I think that you are handling the situation as you described in the best way that you can... it could also be called tough-love which seems to be quite appropriate considering all that you have stated now and in the past.
You are at the point of your HRT regimen that your body changes are quite apparent to all that see you.... your latest photos and the before and after comparison is proof positive. You are now passing a good amount of the time, and every time that you pass, you will gain more self-assurance and self-confidence with your successes.... Success breeds success! Your physical appearance now is only what you dreamed about many months ago and now it is becoming a reality.
All of your thread followers are rooting for you Chelsea, we are your biggest fans.
Thank you for your terrific and good report, I will be eagerly looking for more of your posts!
Hugs and hugs and hugs,
Danielle
Hey Chelsea,
I'm sorry you are still struggling to gain acceptance from your mother. You are doing everything you can to support her own needs while managing your transition and financial challenges. Now you are at a point where the need to be Chelsea is outweighing the ability to hide your true self.
Being assertive with your mother and standing up for what you need for yourself must have been hard for you to do. I don't think you had a choice. Perhaps this might be the catalyst your mother needs for her to see that you are a woman...her daughter.
Yay strong girl. You recent progress has been amazing. I hope things will work out for the best.
Big hugs,
Jayne
Chelsea being assertive with your mother is probably a good point as she may finally see you are as serious as you can be. As to passing, your looks are certainly there so just relax and be yourself. Others that are confused will see it and respond accordingly soon enough. You are free now, so fly high!
Judi
Way to go Chelsea! I hope your mother comes around soon. It's your time for change. I get clocked all the time too. It may be because of being nerves, or maybe the voice. I think once you get used to being you full time, the misgendering will get less and less and eventually not at all.
Hugs girl!
Donica.
Dear Chelsea,
Way to go, girl - heading off to work and do everyday things as yourself. I don't dare copy the squeeees and wahoos patented by others so I'll use "There she sails."
I wish I could find the right words to comfort you about your mom right now but nothing I can say can ease the pain of rejection. Since it seems to me that your mom has become accustomed (dare I say addicted) to the "old" you doing everything for her with little help from your siblings, any changes to her perceived normal are bound to prompt "withdrawal" symptoms of some sort - and trying to deny your truth may have been one way to keep her "supply" intact. It takes real courage to stand up to a "user," and you have done just that. Bravo.
Huge Hugs,
Susan
I had to jump in here and tell you ladies that I got "mamed" today! Not once but twice by two people! lol
It just made me feel really good and this is the first time that has ever happened to me.
Today was also the first time my brother has seen the new me. I was embarrassed a little at first. I didn't want to get out of the car a for a second but I did. He said he was very impressed and I could tell he was blown away. I mean I has just seen me for the last 40 plus years as a guy. I could tell he was surprised.
Thank all of you for the nice comments.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on October 05, 2018, 11:39:26 PM
I had to jump in here and tell you ladies that I got "mamed" today! Not once but twice by two people! lol
It just made me feel really good and this is the first time that has ever happened to me.
Today was also the first time my brother has seen the new me. I was embarrassed a little at first. I didn't want to get out of the car a for a second but I did. He said he was very impressed and I could tell he was blown away. I mean I has just seen me for the last 40 plus years as a guy. I could tell he was surprised.
Thank all of you for the nice comments.
Hugs,
Chelsea
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea:Your report is absolutely terrific and fantastic news.... and also very confidence building and self-assuring to you as you are going out and about more often and passing more successfully and more frequently as Chelsea.
I am so very, very happy for you. Oh, and that is wonderful and good news about your brother's reaction to the new you.
Thank you for checking in on your thread to keep us all updated. Your followers are your biggest fans and we are all rooting for you.
Hugs and hugs and more hugs,
Danielle
Thank you Chelsea for your latest post and I celebrate with you on both counts!
Hugs
Pamela
Great updates for you, Chelsea.
Don't worry about the drive through. I've done next to nothing voice wise but still have been ma'amed when I got to the pick up window.
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
You are on your way now Chelsea. Yes you do have a pretty face. People are going to ma'am you more and more every day.
Hugs,
Donica.
Yay, I am happy for you! Getting ma'amed is one of the best things. I still get a thrill when my wife and I are addressed as "ladies".
Great news Ma'am! They saw the real you!!
I'm sure your brother was wowed by your big smile! That "other guy" didn't smile like you! I was certainly nervous when I "met" my brother in law. He was so sweet and gave me a big hug. I'm sure your relationship with your brother will continue and move to a newer level. All my best to you.
Judi
I'm really glad to hear your latest progress Chelsea, it was never going to be easy but you're becoming a brave new girl!
Nice one & keep your chin up - you're progressing every single day now!
Sonja.
Hey Chelsea!
Congratulations on being called ma'am. I think that is something you will never get tired of hearing.
I'm not surprised your brother was blown away. You look fantastic! Totally different to that guy from the past.
Hugs,
Jayne
Good times are coming girls.
Besides the bad toothache I have and my face looking like I have been in a fight, I'm happy.
Today is the very first time in months that my bank has been in the positive. My business has finally started to make profit. I still have a long way to go but at least I'm not broke all the time. This means I will be in voice therapy as soon as possible.
Now for the better news. I have not had boy clothes on in 6 days now. There are still places in town that I would not dare go in but I know I will in time. It still makes me nervous at times and others I get out of the car and march in like I own the place. I cant wait until I can do that everyday.
During these last 6 days I have not hid from mom. I would get ready and walk out the door like it was nothing. She was really mad at first and two nights ago I sit down with her and talked to her in full girl mode. To my amazement she sit and talked to me like everything was fine. It might be that a few days ago we got into a argument and I lifted my shirt (with bra on of course) and said "do I look like a boy mom?" She looked at me in amazement. I said "Its time mom I cant hide this anymore." Last night without me knowing she cooked me something to eat?? until she brought it to me. She hasn't done that in over 5 years! Shes probably starting to see what its like without my help. I'm not getting my hopes up but, everything is falling into place so far. This is the happiest moment for me sense starting my transition. Lets just hope it continues.
Hugs,
Chelsea
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea:
Yes indeed....
Good times are coming girls. I am so very happy for you and how things are improving for you regarding your business, your mom, and the fact that you are "almost" living full time as Chelsea.... every time you go out and about and pass convincingly, and knowing that you have made certain that you mom has seen Chelsea all the time this last week..... you will keep gaining self-confidence and self-assurance.... and soon you will be getting going again on your voice therapy..... and Chelsea will soon be out forever!!!
Congratulations to you!!!
Hugs and hugs and more hugs.... and as always I am wishing you well.
Danielle
Chelsea,
Good to get that report. Successes! And, success breeds success. There will be glitches but keep on keepin' on, girl.
Keepin' an eye on you and rootin' for you,
Stevi
I'm happy for you Chelsea, keep the momentum :)
Quote from: Chelsea on October 11, 2018, 11:46:12 AM
Good times are coming girls.
Besides the bad toothache I have and my face looking like I have been in a fight, I'm happy.
Today is the very first time in months that my bank has been in the positive. My business has finally started to make profit. I still have a long way to go but at least I'm not broke all the time. This means I will be in voice therapy as soon as possible.
Now for the better news. I have not had boy clothes on in 6 days now. There are still places in town that I would not dare go in but I know I will in time. It still makes me nervous at times and others I get out of the car and march in like I own the place. I cant wait until I can do that everyday.
During these last 6 days I have not hid from mom. I would get ready and walk out the door like it was nothing. She was really mad at first and two nights ago I sit down with her and talked to her in full girl mode. To my amazement she sit and talked to me like everything was fine. It might be that a few days ago we got into a argument and I lifted my shirt (with bra on of course) and said "do I look like a boy mom?" She looked at me in amazement. I said "Its time mom I cant hide this anymore." Last night without me knowing she cooked me something to eat?? until she brought it to me. She hasn't done that in over 5 years! Shes probably starting to see what its like without my help. I'm not getting my hopes up but, everything is falling into place so far. This is the happiest moment for me sense starting my transition. Lets just hope it continues.
Hugs,
Chelsea
I'm so happy your mom seems to be coming around. Luckily I never had to flash someone to convince them [emoji23]. Good news about the money too. Soon you will be you all the time and these trials will just be a memory.
Sorry to hear about the toothache but the positive bank balance is wonderful news! We knew you would see things through and prevail. You are definitely a fighter! Bravo!
As to your mom, being yourself was probably just what was called for and she is seeing you are happy. I'm glad to hear you are getting out and expanding your range in town as Chelsea.
Your happiness shines though in this post.
Hugs, Judi
A great update Chelsea, it's good to see you in a happier place lately, congratulations on your business success, and 6 days straight dressing comfortably as Chelsea.
I'm glad to hear your mum seems to have turned a corner, she probably sees your happiness [emoji4]
Nicole
I am so happy for you Chelsea on 3 counts.
Fulltime for 6 days without fear is an achievement in itself and shows yet again you have confidence.
Prosperity always desired but more so for us and for you to resume Voice Therapy.
Your mom is showing signs of coming round and I think should continue to show some support as she sees both your development and your happiness.
Hugs
Pamela xx
Yay, Chelsea! Wow, six days of full-time, mother starting to get it, positive bank balance, you are on a roll, girl!
Quote from: Chelsea on October 11, 2018, 11:46:12 AM
Good times are coming girls.
Besides the bad toothache I have and my face looking like I have been in a fight, I'm happy.
Today is the very first time in months that my bank has been in the positive. My business has finally started to make profit. I still have a long way to go but at least I'm not broke all the time. This means I will be in voice therapy as soon as possible.
Now for the better news. I have not had boy clothes on in 6 days now. There are still places in town that I would not dare go in but I know I will in time. It still makes me nervous at times and others I get out of the car and march in like I own the place. I cant wait until I can do that everyday.
During these last 6 days I have not hid from mom. I would get ready and walk out the door like it was nothing. She was really mad at first and two nights ago I sit down with her and talked to her in full girl mode. To my amazement she sit and talked to me like everything was fine. It might be that a few days ago we got into a argument and I lifted my shirt (with bra on of course) and said "do I look like a boy mom?" She looked at me in amazement. I said "Its time mom I cant hide this anymore." Last night without me knowing she cooked me something to eat?? until she brought it to me. She hasn't done that in over 5 years! Shes probably starting to see what its like without my help. I'm not getting my hopes up but, everything is falling into place so far. This is the happiest moment for me sense starting my transition. Lets just hope it continues.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Oh Chelsea! That is great news. Wow! And she cooked you a meal too. Did you give her a hug for that? I knew she would warm up to you. Before you know it, things between you and your mom will become the new norm.
Congrats on your business moving into the black (positive), and moving ahead on your voice therapy.
Hugs,
Donica.
Well done Chelsea. You are progressing so well. Working hard to bring your business into profit is fantastic! Spending 6 days in a row as Chelsea is awesome! Your confidence is growing in leaps and bounds. You are starting to own your identity and this is having a positive effect not only on you but on your mother too. I have no doubt that her change in attitude is largely due to your own self confidence growing.
Thank you for sharing this excellent update with us.
Hugs,
Jayne
7 Month Update
Im a week late on my 7 month update. I had a bad toothache and lost about 5 pounds in the process but I'm finally over that part. I'm working hard to put the weight back on. My body measurements are about the same, so nothing really to update on that.
My face has changed pretty dramatic in the last seven months though. I have been sick with this toothache taking antibiotics and haven't felt like getting all dolled up so I've been in guy mode. I had a pretty cool experience out a couple days ago. I seen one of my old guy buddies that i used to hang out with. I walked right pasted him no makeup, same clothes I used to wear, cap and he didn't even know who I was. I looked him right in the eye as we walked by. That was a weird feeling to have someone you know within one foot of you and not recognize you.
Other HRT changes would be that a lot more if my hair has come back in the front. I would say im only missing about a half inch in the front now. My doctor told me when starting fernasterise 7 months ago that some of my reseeding hair would come back but probably not all of it. I'm happy to say that 75% has come back and the tiny remaining part you can kind of see "peach fuzz" that wasn't there before so fingers crossed on that.
One other thing is that erections take a lot longer and are a little harder to achieve now so unfortunately that part is starting. Its all good though I am very happy with the person I see in the mirror now. Sure i have things I want to change but I feel pretty good for a 46 year old.
Thank all of you for always being so nice to me!! [emoji175]
Hugs,
Chelsea
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea:Thank you for sharing your 7 month HRT update with all of your followers on your thread.
I am so very happy for you that you are experiencing the more dramatic changes that HRT can bring.
You have much more to come your way in your journey and more excitement will be yours as more and more changes come more frequently and more quickly.
That was certainly an affirming experience for you to walk right past your old guy-buddy and he did not recognize you!!! HoooRay for that.
Certainly good news about your head hair... you look so very beautiful and feminine with your natural hair now... you can easily conceal any lack of hair in the front with a little creative styling like you are doing now.... I am glad that you put the wig away.
I gave up on erections at the 6 month point in my HRT... there was not much happening down there after that.... just a distant memory, but women do not need that, we have other exciting erotic zones now!!!!
Just tickle me on my breasts and I am all yours, LOL
Regarding you toothache.... not much is more miserable, I am glad that you have taken care of that issue....
...oh and about your
Weight... put that in the very same category as you being concerned with your
Adams Apple... in my opinion those things are
not important right now or perhaps ever. I am thinking that you may need to focus on your voice as you have mentioned previously. Just my unsolicited opinion.
Again Chelsea, thank you for your good report, I can hear the happiness in your voice when I read your update.
Many Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Great news Chelsea! You are
seeing what we've been seeing, you're not the same person. You're old friends no so much!
Don't worry about losing the male sexuality, its overrated. Now we know your secret
@Alaskan Danielle! Although you're right, so many better spots.
Thanks for this wonderful update Chelsea!
Judi
Chelsea
I shall also keep my fingers crossed about the "peach fuzz".
Well done on not being recognized by a former buddy. This is because you look so feminine.
I am so happy for you.
Hugs
Pamela
Great update Chelsea. As Judi stated, male sexuality is overrated. Soon you will notice a deeper, far more pleasurable sexuality. At 46, you have many wonderful years ahead of you. Enjoy them girl.
Hugs,
Donica.
Hiya Chelsea,
Just had a long read catching up, Sorry but been away :-)
It's hard to recognise the growing confident girl you are now to the one just a few months ago, it's truly amazing.
I know life's been really tough for you but I'm so proud of you for gritting your teeth and pulling through, life will only make you stronger.
Just think you've spent a week as Chelsea instead of a couple of hours in your bedroom all in the space of 6 months.
That's guts and by the way you're looking amazing in the most recent photos.
So happy for you
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
@Chelsea
Hey Chelsea,
Things sound like they're moving along nicely all things considered, you're continually making progress and that is a massive win when you really look back at where you started!
Keep going!
Sonja.
Hope you're doing well. Haven't heard from you lately and just wanted you to know someone is thinking about you!
Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk
Hi all. I was just checking in. I have had a very rough week. A couple of weeks ago I went for my blood test and i am happy to report all was perfect. I told my doctor that I am having issue going out in public because of my nerves and wondered if she could give me something to help. She wrote me a prescription for a antidepressant. The first two days of taking them was no big deal. Two days ago i woke up in a panic like I had been running or something but it quickly went away. I have never in my life had anxiety. Later that day I would be in the back of a ambulance on the way to the hospital. My blood pressure was 148/128, hands and feet were tingly, could not breath good, I honestly thought I was going to die. Went to the hospital to run up a $1200 bill that i dont have to find out that I have nothing physically wrong with me. The doctor said I had a reaction to the medicine. That will be the first and last SSRI that I will ever try. I will just be nervous and go with it.
On a positive note I did get my ears pierced yesterday! I had to do something to make myself feel better. I know, almost 8 months on hormones and just now doing this. lol Ive not felt good lately so I have no picture.
I am having a hard time in public. Actually a lot worse than i let on. I have been out at least a dozen times and its just as hard each time. Is like I feel ashamed of what I am doing even though I know I am doing nothing wrong. I have a appointment tomorrow with my therapist for the first time in months so hopefully she can help me.
Hugs,
Chelsea
What would help you in public is going out with others. Company will help distract you and you will be able to accumulate more public hours. The more public hours, the more comfortable you will become. A secondary benefit of company is you will feel more secure because of the numbers. One person is unlikely to attack two or three people but when your by yourself you fear an attack. Medication isn't needed, just some company.
Hi Chelsea,
I'm sorry to hear you are having more difficult times. I had a strange effect on my 3rd or 4th day on zoloft where I felt like I was high. then it quit. it was like old times. lol. SSRIs take a while to work their magic with the preceding time being the "getting used to it" period. If you'll remember I was in a race between mine starting to work and spring coming so I could find a nice place in a forest to end my problems. It was close but the pills won. I am still taking them and have been glad I am a few times.... They can help but do take time to get used to.
That bill is certainly not something your needed to have, I'll agree.
Dena is right in saying going out is easier with friends to accompany you. I would be happy to drag you out kicking and screaming if we lived closer together. I remember that fear of going out alone. It gets better. I am still hoping to be able to go out there on one of my road trip. Likely it will be with Michelle. Then we could go enjoy a lunch or dinner out somewhere. Hang in there girl. I am sure you look great. You always look great.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Chelsea on October 31, 2018, 09:48:35 PM
Hi all. I was just checking in. I have had a very rough week. A couple of weeks ago I went for my blood test and i am happy to report all was perfect. I told my doctor that I am having issue going out in public because of my nerves and wondered if she could give me something to help. She wrote me a prescription for a antidepressant. The first two days of taking them was no big deal. Two days ago i woke up in a panic like I had been running or something but it quickly went away. I have never in my life had anxiety. Later that day I would be in the back of a ambulance on the way to the hospital. My blood pressure was 148/128, hands and feet were tingly, could not breath good, I honestly thought I was going to die. Went to the hospital to run up a $1200 bill that i dont have to find out that I have nothing physically wrong with me. The doctor said I had a reaction to the medicine. That will be the first and last SSRI that I will ever try. I will just be nervous and go with it.
On a positive note I did get my ears pierced yesterday! I had to do something to make myself feel better. I know, almost 8 months on hormones and just now doing this. lol Ive not felt good lately so I have no picture.
I am having a hard time in public. Actually a lot worse than i let on. I have been out at least a dozen times and its just as hard each time. Is like I feel ashamed of what I am doing even though I know I am doing nothing wrong. I have a appointment tomorrow with my therapist for the first time in months so hopefully she can help me.
Hugs,
Chelsea
@Chelsea My dear Chelsea:I just wish I could come through your computer screen and give you a big and tight hug... hugs are good!!!
Good news about your blood test being perfect... but bad news about your bad reaction to your prescription antidepressant. A health problem and unfortunately a financial obligation you did not plan for, but you do have to take care of your body, you are only issued ONE in your lifetime.
Awee, getting your ears pierced, very affirming and certainly some pampering you needed considering what you have just gone through..... for pampering and recovering from difficult issues I like to go to a hair and nail salon... and perhaps a spa to get my mind off of my problems...
Wow, at 8 months of HRT you should be seeing and feeling lots of good changes... boobs, face, reduced body hair growth, softer skin, etc. .... hang on, because there are a lot more exciting things coming for you as you continue on with your HRT.
You and I have talked previously about safety in numbers when going out and about as Chelsea.... your friends will support your efforts and fend off any untoward remarks, staring, etc.... you should not be going out alone for the short term... also hopefully your therapist can help you to mentally cope with your difficulties, but again, for now, go out and about with friends.
You didn't mention anything about your finances, your business and/or job, your mom, nor did you say anything about starting up voice lessons again... your followers are curious and we want to follow...
....or as we have done before please PM me, I am always happy to see your messages in my inbox.
Please keep us updated as you feel comfortable doing.
Hugs and hugs, and more hugs,
Danielle [emoji173]
Chelsea,
Thanks for giving us an update. I am truly sorry you are having such a tough time. I can empathize. I have been struggling with a number of things myself for the last couple of weeks. Doubt, confusion, uncertainty, loneliness... but I choose to keep my head high and push forward with my decision.
I can only offer you this: We're here if you need us. Don't hesitate to reach out. Having someone in your corner is paramount to your success!
Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk
Quote from: Dena on October 31, 2018, 10:37:11 PM
What would help you in public is going out with others. Company will help distract you and you will be able to accumulate more public hours.
I will agree with Dena, that it is WAAAY easier for me to be out and about when I am with others.
Sorry you are having a rough time of it :(
Love,
Julie
I'm in the same place as you Chelsea. I've been full time since this July and I still have anxiety when in public. I agree with Dena in that I find strength in numbers and understand it will take time to get used to it. I find myself caring less and less every day about what people think. I am starting to think more about my own business instead of what other people are thinking of me. Smile when you make eye contact and they will smile back.
If you can stand up to your mother the way you did, you can stand up to anyone. Stay strong and confident girl. You are a lovely person.
Hugs,
Donica.
Month 8
I would normally say Month 8 Update but, I feel like this is more of a down date then a update. This post will most likely be all over the place as I am very upset while typing it. I have no idea where the last month has gone but it went fast.
I originally was putting all the blame on my mother about going full time. I was so mad at her because she was keeping me from being myself. Over the last month I have realized that it has nothing to do with her at all. Its me.
I didn't realize that I am just as miserable now as I was before taking that first pill. I actually sit down and talked to mom last night with a full face of makeup on like it was nothing. Sure she still is dead against it but at least we can talk now.
The truth is that I have a very bad self image of myself. No matter how many people tell me how beautiful I am I just cant see it. When I started this transition I weighed 143lbs. To me that is still on the skinny side for a woman that's 5'9" tall. In the last 8 months I have lost all the way down to 120 and I'm still there. Its not I don't like the way I look. I absolutely hate the way I look with a hot bloody passion. That womanly shape is not as noticeable now like it briefly showed its self because of all the weight I have lost. I hate my looks so bad that it shows when I do manage to get a tiny bit of courage to go into a store with two people in it. I get clocked every single time I go in a place so whats the point. How am I ever going to sell the public that I'm a woman when I do not feel like I look the part myself. I have had a lot of changes so far with HRT in my face but my body does not match. There is a reason that I never post any body pictures.
I look more like a feminine guy with makeup on than a woman. I honestly think going out in public with me feeling like this is just making me worse even if I have been on hormones 8 months.
I did not do any body measurements because I am afraid of the results. My money situation is still the same, Just barley getting by so I have not returned to voice therapy.
Im truly sorry if this brings anyone down but I can't sugar coat this thread anymore. I've been miserable to the point really wanting to throw in the towel.
Chelsea
I think you hit the nail on the head there, "I hate the way I look" that's why you feel so bad. Don't take this the wrong way but it is a state of mind as our Alaskan friend says POSITIVITY is what is needed. Easy for me to say as I never had and still don't have a problem presenting.
Chelsea, I was skinny when I was your age only I was even taller than you. I'm still skinny now but at 14 months, the HRT is beginning to do it's thing. I would say give it a year at least before you make that decision. Fight through this. Don't worry about how you look right now because that is going to change with HRT. We all go through this period. We all get clocked in the beginning. It may take two years but it will happen. You have a big head start with your pretty face.
Stay positive girl.
Donica.
@Chelsea
Chelsea - First - I really like your avatar photo - you look great! But you are too hard on yourself.
On Friday evening my wife and I had a girl friend of hers over for drinks so we sat outside talking for hours, I wore my girls pointy flats with thin strap - she never said anything about it. During the conversation she joked about a nude selfie she sent to her husband, my wife had already seen it and said show it to (me) so she did and I said "ha very nice" because she is drop dead gorgeous - but I also said "OH why are you covering your boobs if it was just for your husband??" and she said " well they're a bit saggy these days so I was feeling a bit self conscious"
This woman has a killer figure, beautiful face, legs to die for etc etc and she still thinks she doesn't measure up......
I have yet to meet a woman who is happy with her looks, figure, legs you name it.
Most of us will never look like a 100% passable cis-woman, so comes the very real question - will you be happy enough as a transgender woman? knowing you can still have friends who care about you and accept you as you are and want to be?
I hope so,
Take care XO,
Sonja.
Quote from: Sonja on November 04, 2018, 04:39:37 PM
@Chelsea
Chelsea - First - I really like your avatar photo - you look great! But you are too hard on yourself.
On Friday evening my wife and I had a girl friend of hers over for drinks so we sat outside talking for hours, I wore my girls pointy flats with thin strap - she never said anything about it. During the conversation she joked about a nude selfie she sent to her husband, my wife had already seen it and said show it to (me) so she did and I said "ha very nice" because she is drop dead gorgeous - but I also said "OH why are you covering your boobs if it was just for your husband??" and she said " well they're a bit saggy these days so I was feeling a bit self conscious"
This woman has a killer figure, beautiful face, legs to die for etc etc and she still thinks she doesn't measure up......
I have yet to meet a woman who is happy with her looks, figure, legs you name it.
Most of us will never look like a 100% passable cis-woman, so comes the very real question - will you be happy enough as a transgender woman? knowing you can still have friends who care about you and accept you as you are and want to be?
I hope so,
Take care XO,
Sonja.
The answer to that question is No if I'm not gonna pass. I will never be happy looking half and half. I dont expect to look like a cis-female but I do expect to pass some day.
Chelsea I agree your avatar photo is wonderful. But I also realize the position you are in. As Donica says, "fight through it." As to your weight, I am at six foot and 145 pounds. A year ago I was flirting with 130, for no apparent reason, my diet or activity level hadn't changed. Then I started to gain it back. Don't fret. The HRT will take its time; remember puberty is a multiple year event. I've had periods of status quo and then the change machine starts back up. I've recently seen more fullness in my chest and skinny hips. Given my height, I don't expect too much as I see lots of tall lean women like me (funny how we notice others now).
Sonja's tale is right on. No woman is ever satisfied it seems. But we shouldn't put ourselves down because of it. There are "remedies" for you (and me), we just have to do the time and work on the right things. You got this!
Judi
Something really awesome happened to me the last couple days and i wanted to share with all of you. This is going to probably sound to good to be true but it actually happened and to think it happened to me still has me in shock. I have cried happy tears most of the day. Yesterday a very dear friend named Wesley came over to see me. I haven't seen him sense I left the plant I worked at a couple years ago so that I could start my transition. I was in my shop and when I open the door to see who it was he said "Oh My God you look just like a girl." lol My response was "Word gets around doesn't it." I knew that he would be accepting like he was.
Just a little bit of history from me and him. We went to school together and even vocational school later on. We grew up always hanging out, Riding dirt bikes and working on cars together. He still works at the factory that we worked together for 16 years. We sit and talked for 4 hours and he was asking all about my transition. I pretty much told him my entire life story of the part that I hid from everyone. I must have done a pretty good job because he said although I was sad a lot he never would have guessed I was transgender. He had heard that I was having a very hard time and wanted to know what he could do to help me. I told him there is nothing anyone could do. Ever sense I had my "Dark Day" 9 months ago that some of you know about I have not had much motivation to do anything. I do work but without my other machine it is very slow. I got a letter from HAAS to come and get the machine early this week. It has sit in my shop for months waiting for them to pick it up.
We are getting to the good part. Back when we used to hang out together he had a Black Acura Integra that he wanted to paint so I said "lets do it." In the process I taught him a lot about body work and painting. I did not charge him anything because were buddies. It was more of a hang out, drink beer and work on a car together. This car turned out show quality and he said i have never forgot that and I think its time that I do something for you. He has made a lot better choices in life than me through the years and is doing very well for himself. He called HAAS today and has paid off my machine that I need so badly. What kind of person would do that? He said "Because I know if the situation was reversed that I would do it for him and he want me to be successful in life like he has. After I got home today from my second job at the body shop there was a new computer waiting for me in the shop.
Now I will be about to quit the part time body shop work and work entirely for myself. With the other machine it dramatically increases my production and enables me to develop new parts to sell. Once I get caught up on everything now I will be able to continue my voice therapy, laser, and anything else I need with no issue. I give him a big hug and told him I don't know how I would ever repay him. He said just make the best of this business and the talent that I have and that will be payment enough.
Wesley has give me a second chance at life pretty much and I intend to make the best of it. Its all still to good to be true but It happened as I have run the machine today after I got the authorization code from HAAS. I have a lot of work to do but it will be so much easier and faster now. I'm sure there is something I forgot but I need to wipe the tears off my keyboard. lol Thank all of you for hanging in here with me as I have had my ups and downs.
Hugs,
Chelsea
This is exciting! I have just starting reading your thread, but I had to respond.
I worked in a machine shop for nearly 7 years. 6 as an industrial mechanic and one as an engineer. We had a Haas machine along with a lot of Mitsubishi, Okuma, Tsugami, Mazak, Ameri-Seiki, Bridgeport and pretty much any other machine brand you can think of.
I am glad I am no longer work in a factory setting, but still love machining.
Sounds like this is a good friend. The fact that he is accepting and supporting is amazing.
I look forward to reading the rest of your thread and seeing new updates as they come!
Lacy
Hugs,
Lacy
Quote from: RealLacy on November 16, 2018, 11:01:12 PM
This is exciting! I have just starting reading your thread, but I had to respond.
I worked in a machine shop for nearly 7 years. 6 as an industrial mechanic and one as an engineer. We had a Haas machine along with a lot of Mitsubishi, Okuma, Tsugami, Mazak, Ameri-Seiki, Bridgeport and pretty much any other machine brand you can think of.
I am glad I am no longer work in a factory setting, but still love machining.
Sounds like this is a good friend. The fact that he is accepting and supporting is amazing.
I look forward to reading the rest of your thread and seeing new updates as they come!
Lacy
Hugs,
Lacy
Thank you Lacy.
I have also worked a lot of years in a large machine shop running most of the machines you listed. I currently have a HAAS VF2SS vertical mill and a HAAS ST10 lathe plus about 4 manual machines. I have always enjoyed machining.
Hugs,
Chelsea
@ChelseaDear Chelsea:
I have been waiting for your next update for about 2 weeks, and I know that in the past that I have bugged you for updates to your thread but because I did not want your to feel pressured I have stayed silent to allow you to work through many of the issues that you are dealing with..... and WOW... you blew me over with your good news update...
.....this is is a big blessing to you which will allow you to see some light at the end of the tunnel. I wish I could give both you and your friend Wesley a big hug... again,
WOW... this is such unexpected fantastic news.
Oh, and your new Avatar Profile picture is fantastic, it shows a very beautiful woman for sure. Thank you for sharing it with all of us.
I will say it one more time ...
WOW !!!! Your good report makes me smile. I am so very happy for you. Finally you will get your business going and get some money in your pocket so you can get caught up with your finances... and finally get continued voice lessons to help you to pass convincingly as you continue in your transition journey.
.
Hugs and hugs and hugs and more hugs,
Danielle [emoji173]
Hi Chelsea,
This is indeed a wonderful update and you have every reason to be excited, happy, and greatful for such a good friend. You must have made one heck of an impression on him previously and been a good friend to him also. His open acceptance of you as you are now is an added bonus girl. Congratulations.
I apologize for my behavior the other night. My head hasn't been in a good place for several days now. This is why I could not share your joy that evening. Things still aren't right. I'm trying not to hurt those I care about and you are one of those. I am sorry.
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
OMG that is so wonderful! So happy for you! [emoji3590][emoji3590]
Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk
Hello again Chelsea
I am just catching up and I read the agony and the ectasy. So sorry to read about the unfortunate events of Oct 31st but that surely is overridden by your latest story. Wesley must be a true friend to help you in so many ways - acceptance, support, discussion and financial.
It is so uplifting to see you are so much happier. I see you will now be able to increase business significantly and regain funds for Laser and Voice Therapy.
I am sure as your business grows, your confidence will grow also.
Sending Love to you.
Pamela xx
Chelsea this is wonderful news. Your friend Wesley is a true friend. Wow!!! Now make the best of it all, as we all know you can and will. As you see your kindness is being paid back. Go Girl!
Chelsea, I am happy that you have a friend like Wesley in your life! What a lovely story!
Wow Chelsea! That's great news. Wesley is a wonderful friend indeed. I had no idea you are a fellow machinist. I've been a CNC programmer for over 40 years. I'm so glad you will now be able run your own shop full time.
Congratulations!
Donica.
Hi Chelsea,
Wow what a great friend, that is wonderful news, good luck with your business.
Nicole
I want to thank all of you for your sweet comments. Now I am issuing a "Vomit Warning" for my body picture below. I am not responsible for any of you loosing your lunch on your keyboards or phones. Danielle recommended that I post these just to let everyone see my progress. All of these pictures have been took at month 8.
This is the color version of my avatar.
(https://i.imgur.com/IiyiKXe.jpg?1)
This is my 8th month side by side I made to show my face progress. Again my apologies for my boy picture. Almost every single picture of me before, I look like the world is ending.
(https://i.imgur.com/VzIz7dO.jpg)
Now this I am really embarrassed about. This is what a 118 pound 5'9" trans woman looks like. I lost a little shape when I lost the weight. I know I got a stupid look on my face. lol This is what I mean by looking half boy half girl. My hands and arms are still very guy looking. Oh and no I do not go out looking like this. It was only to show my body shape. lol I have a long way to go to pass I know.
(https://i.imgur.com/RNOlVPU.jpg)
Hugs,
Chelsea
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea:
Thank you for updating all of your followers and treating us to your latest photos.
Your before and after comparison pictures are dramatically showing what HRT and all the other things like hair, makeup, clothing can do. Your Avatar shows a very pretty woman.
I am so glad that your got rid of your wig for your pictures.. your natural hair is beautiful.
You look beautiful and your last picture definitely shows curves and a nice waistline even though you could use a few more pounds on you frame... and do be aware that there are many thin tall beautiful women out there... the crop top and low rise shorts are made for slender waistlines like yours... you got it girl.
Usually being too thin is a much better problem to have than being too heavy.
Thank you for sharing... you made me and your other followers very happy that you updated your thread.
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on November 18, 2018, 08:14:16 PM
Usually being too thin is a much better problem to have than being too heavy.
I am going to second this sentiment.
@Chelsea
Hey Chelsea,
That's great news about the machine and computer - what a wonderful friend you have! very kind.
I think you look fabulous in your new photos and avatar, and your body shot - fantastic - how many women would love to be so slim!! The first thing I noticed was your hour glass shape, something that will become a little more accentuated as time passes by...excellent. Thank you Wesley and HRT!
and Thank you Chelsea for sharing!
Take care,
Sonja.
Chelsea I love the sparkle in your eyes that is certainly not there in the earlier photo!
Ok maybe you can use a few pounds (don't go overboard!). Your body looks like a much younger version of mine. Stop fretting and enjoy. At some point nature will take its course and everything you eat will want to go to your waist! Develop and keep good eating habits.
Thank you for sharing!
Holy crap! Chelsea you have changed so much! Girl you are gorgeous, I love your wavy red hair.
Hi Chelsea, that's wonderful news! And that sounds like a good person and friend.
You look fantastic too. Like a young Reba McIntyre (but with better lips! LOL).
I sent you a PM - it's a technical question.
Wahoo!
It is soooo good to read such wonderful news.
Outside of spice,* there are few folks who manage to forge long-time friendships such as yours. It isn't just Wesley who is the special and kind soul you described, it is because you - yes, you - must be equally special and kind to form a bond like you have.
Why did you choose to go with the B/W version of your new avatar? The color version lets your calm happiness show through. While you may see shades of gray in your reflection, take a hint form those of us who see the bright colors of the woman within.
Susan
*If the plural of mouse is mice and louse is lice, why isn't the plural of "spouse" spice?
"Vomit Warning" What? Chelsea, You look beautiful. Flaunt it girl, cuz you got it.
Donica.
I just thought I would check in to let everyone know business is booming. Did I actually get type that out?? lol
I landed two pretty large jobs that will take about eleven weeks to run but I'm so thankful for them. I will finally start voice therapy again next week after months of waiting to have the cash.
I have been limiting myself to 12 hours a day. I was working more but its just to much for me. I have also put on 6 pounds in the last few days and I'm up to 125. I would love to be around 150.
The only thing that has been bugging me is being lonely all the time and my good friend dysphoria driving me crazy. I have friends and family come by the shop to see me but its not the same you know. I'm still waiting to see a girl look back at me in the mirror everyday. I see a glimpse of her every once and a while.
One thing that helps me is making before and after pictures. It lets me see how far I have actually gone in this journey.
I found a picture of me from 4 years ago. Today I took a selfie in the shop (almost 9 months hrt) wearing the same hoodie I had on back then. Its amazing how much I have changed in that amount of time. I don't even remember looking like that. I'm not happy with myself yet, but I know I have a few years left and I do see improvement.
Love all of you!
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/IfrdyrP.jpg)
Quote from: Chelsea on November 28, 2018, 10:30:25 PM
I just thought I would check in to let everyone know business is booming. Did I actually get type that out?? lol
I landed two pretty large jobs that will take about eleven weeks to run but I'm so thankful for them. I will finally start voice therapy again next week after months of waiting to have the cash.
I have been limiting myself to 12 hours a day. I was working more but its just to much for me. I have also put on 6 pounds in the last few days and I'm up to 125. I would love to be around 150.
The only thing that has been bugging me is being lonely all the time and my good friend dysphoria driving me crazy. I have friends and family come by the shop to see me but its not the same you know. I'm still waiting to see a girl look back at me in the mirror everyday. I see a glimpse of her every once and a while.
One thing that helps me is making before and after pictures. It lets me see how far I have actually gone in this journey.
I found a picture of me from 4 years ago. Today I took a selfie in the shop (almost 9 months hrt) wearing the same hoodie I had on back then. Its amazing how much I have changed in that amount of time. I don't even remember looking like that. I'm not happy with myself yet, but I know I have a few years left and I do see improvement.
Love all of you!
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/IfrdyrP.jpg)
@ChelseaDear Chelsea:Thank you for your long awaited update. I have been biting my tongue and it has taken all of my willpower to
not write to you or to comment on your thread ...
to BUG you for your update....
...and now, you have posted a terrific and upbeat UPDATE and you have posted a fantastic before and after picture comparison.
I am happy for you that your business is up and running and making some much needed money now.
Money does not guarantee happiness but not having any is not much fun.
I think you are looking beautiful and feminine in your latest photo... it will
NOT take a few years as you stated to see improvements... HRT works slowly and in it's own time but as you continue with your HRT regimen the changes will be more significant and happen more frequently... hang on, your time will come sooner that you think, be prepared!!!
You won't be able to hide that beautiful woman inside you much longer...
...full-time is in your future very soon.Hugs and hugs and as always I am wishing you well.
Danielle
Congratulations Chelsea, you're in the money!
Also I am just one month ahead of you on HRT and I confirm Danielle's point that after 8/9/10 months physical changes happen more significantly and faster.
Hugs
Pamela
Chelsea, I am glad for you that things are finally turning around in your business. I am very happy for you on your before/after. Concentrate on that rather than the mirrors. I know all about mirrors *shudder*.
Faith
Great news about work picking up in the shop!
Looking at the two photos, there is no way they are the same person! Just look at your eyes and smile in the new photo, they are much more happier than in the older photo. You look lovely!
Thank you for the update.
I am happy to hear that your business is going well. I know this was a big worry for you for a while, so the turnaround is very positive news.
Quote from: Chelsea on November 28, 2018, 10:30:25 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/IfrdyrP.jpg)
I think you look very cute, much cuter than your brother in the left panel. ;)
Quote from: Chelsea on November 28, 2018, 10:30:25 PM
I just thought I would check in to let everyone know business is booming. Did I actually get type that out?? lol
I landed two pretty large jobs that will take about eleven weeks to run but I'm so thankful for them. I will finally start voice therapy again next week after months of waiting to have the cash.
I have been limiting myself to 12 hours a day. I was working more but its just to much for me. I have also put on 6 pounds in the last few days and I'm up to 125. I would love to be around 150.
The only thing that has been bugging me is being lonely all the time and my good friend dysphoria driving me crazy. I have friends and family come by the shop to see me but its not the same you know. I'm still waiting to see a girl look back at me in the mirror everyday. I see a glimpse of her every once and a while.
One thing that helps me is making before and after pictures. It lets me see how far I have actually gone in this journey.
I found a picture of me from 4 years ago. Today I took a selfie in the shop (almost 9 months hrt) wearing the same hoodie I had on back then. Its amazing how much I have changed in that amount of time. I don't even remember looking like that. I'm not happy with myself yet, but I know I have a few years left and I do see improvement.
Love all of you!
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/IfrdyrP.jpg)
Your picture made me very happy! First off, I don't even know who the guy is on the left! He looks nothing like you!
Also, this made me happy, in that I have some favorite hoodies, that I was starting to feel sad that I would have to stop wearing them. You are rocking the hood off that hoodie! You look all woman!
12 hour days in shop conditions is exhausting! I'm glad you are slowing down and taking care of your self. I will donate the extra wait you want! I am looking to get to 160, so I could help get you closer to the 150 mark!
11 weeks for two jobs are great! Is there a specific product you focus on making, or is your business diverse?
Congratulations!
Lacy
Looks like you need anew mirror as its obviously faulty--------
Quote from: RealLacy on November 29, 2018, 04:18:06 PM
Your picture made me very happy! First off, I don't even know who the guy is on the left! He looks nothing like you!
Also, this made me happy, in that I have some favorite hoodies, that I was starting to feel sad that I would have to stop wearing them. You are rocking the hood off that hoodie! You look all woman!
12 hour days in shop conditions is exhausting! I'm glad you are slowing down and taking care of your self. I will donate the extra wait you want! I am looking to get to 160, so I could help get you closer to the 150 mark!
11 weeks for two jobs are great! Is there a specific product you focus on making, or is your business diverse?
Congratulations!
Lacy
Thank you Lacy.
I started the business in 2013 back when I started taking herbal hormones thinking I was going to sneak and transition or something. lol I have always been into high end remote control cars so I decided to make custom parts for them. I always loved machining and RC so why not. I have two online stores that I sell these parts on. The eleven week order is actually parts for bristling machines that make toothbrushes. I will do custom orders of almost anything.
I posted a few pics below of some things I make. I have about 40 products so far but designing more.
(https://i.imgur.com/dfEIpkD.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/Ou8lVfI.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/Bj0TgeG.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/zlyyFqz.jpg)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Thank you everyone for the sweet comments!!
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on November 29, 2018, 08:32:01 PM
Thank you Lacy.
I started the business in 2013 back when I started taking herbal hormones thinking I was going to sneak and transition or something. lol I have always been into high end remote control cars so I decided to make custom parts for them. I always loved machining and RC so why not. I have two online stores that I sell these parts on. The eleven week order is actually parts for bristling machines that make toothbrushes. I will do custom orders of almost anything.
I posted a few pics below of some things I make. I have about 40 products so far but designing more.
(https://i.imgur.com/dfEIpkD.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/Ou8lVfI.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/Bj0TgeG.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/zlyyFqz.jpg)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Those look very nice! I was an operator, then mechanic, then engineer in a gear factory. Those last two pictures of gears and gear box show some very nice craftwomansmith!
Do you do your own heat treating?
Very few things are more enjoyable than watching metal get cut like butter on a lathe or mill! It's almost therapeutic!
Lacy
Wow Chelsea your looking amazing!!
Quote from: Chelsea on November 29, 2018, 08:32:01 PM
Thank you Lacy.
I started the business in 2013 back when I started taking herbal hormones thinking I was going to sneak and transition or something. lol I have always been into high end remote control cars so I decided to make custom parts for them. I always loved machining and RC so why not. I have two online stores that I sell these parts on. The eleven week order is actually parts for bristling machines that make toothbrushes. I will do custom orders of almost anything.
I posted a few pics below of some things I make. I have about 40 products so far but designing more.
(https://i.imgur.com/dfEIpkD.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/Ou8lVfI.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/Bj0TgeG.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/zlyyFqz.jpg)
Hugs,
Chelsea
Nice! Oh wait! I see a bit of chatter in the OD groove on the part in the upper left ;D Nice gear work!
Quick update. I am 99% sure that I know now why I cant gain weight. My sister is a RN and has been in the medical field over 30 years. I have every single symptom of a ulcer. I'm also pretty sure that it is from worry. I had forgot that I have had these in the past but its been over 20 years ago. I started taking some over the counter things and its unreal how much better I feel after eating. I was in bed all day yesterday with my chest burning. I thought it was my heart. ( I always think the worst. ) Maybe now I can put some weight on.
Chelsea
If you think you have an ulcer, see a doctor. Most ulcers are caused by a bacterium (helicobacter pylori), and respond to the right antibiotics. Worry probably makes you more susceptible.
yes, do see your dr, for ulcers are very treatable today.
Quote from: KathyLauren on December 03, 2018, 12:37:09 PM
If you think you have an ulcer, see a doctor. Most ulcers are caused by a bacterium (helicobacter pylori), and respond to the right antibiotics. Worry probably makes you more susceptible.
Chelsea, 04 Dec 18
I quoted Kathy because she is absolutely correct; see a gastroenterologist, they will figure out exactly what bacteria are causing the problem. They will most likely prescribe a proton pump inhibitor and an antibiotic.
This is not a do-it-yourself project, you've got the money now, go see a doctor.
Good Health and Luck,
Christine
Month 9 Update.
Is hard to believe that I have been on hormones 9 months. It seems like just a couple days ago I started this thread.
Well first off I have been to the doctor about my stomach issue. Turns out it was not a ulcer but GERD. Same thing I had about 15 years ago that eat a hole in my esophagus. My stomach is making an insane amount of acid. I have got meds for this now so within two weeks I should see some relief. Also the doctor told me that this could be some of my weight problems. I sure hope shes right. I'm at 125 at the moment.
Now for my body measurements I did not take any because of the weight I have lost. I have changed a lot but to keep me from getting down I have avoided the scale. I have focused only on the business and keep my mind busy playing guitar.
On my last doctor visit she ask how the fernasteride was doing. It has helped more than I thought it ever would already. I told her the more hair comes back the less I will need to spend on a transplant later and she upped my milligrams. lol Something I didnt know the doctor told me it could take up to two years to see the complete results of the fernasteride. Sounds about right. Everything takes years. ::)
Other changes I have notice my breast are tingly and hurting again. I think the change machine has started back up. It seems like they grow then stop and start again. They have done that like 4 times already in the last 9 months. I have noticed more physical changes this month then any before. Its been substantial enough that I have been a lot happier and not depressed in a while. Another thing I have noticed my arms are a lot more girly looking now. I have lost a lot in my arms and can tell I have lost some strength but not too bad.
Mentally I have noticed I'm a lot more compassionate then I ever was. That is the only thing that I have noticed in the last couple of months. I still cry very easy but its mostly happy tears.
Well, I'm sure I have forgot something like I always do but I will post about it later. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
@ChelseaDear Chelsea:Let me mark this down as one of your most positive and happy updates that I have read.... I am so very happy for you that your HRT/transition changes in your body and your mind are going along so very nicely... before you know it you will start having difficulties passing as your old male self.
I trust that you business is still going well and that you are starting to get caught up a little with your finances.
Have been able to re-start your voice therapy yet?
Again, Chelsea, thank you for keeping your followers tuned into your continuing and improving journey.
Hugs and more hugs,
Danielle
The change is wonderful!
Quote from: Chelsea on November 28, 2018, 10:30:25 PM
I just thought I would check in to let everyone know business is booming. Did I actually get type that out?? lol
I landed two pretty large jobs that will take about eleven weeks to run but I'm so thankful for them. I will finally start voice therapy again next week after months of waiting to have the cash.
I have been limiting myself to 12 hours a day. I was working more but its just to much for me. I have also put on 6 pounds in the last few days and I'm up to 125. I would love to be around 150.
The only thing that has been bugging me is being lonely all the time and my good friend dysphoria driving me crazy. I have friends and family come by the shop to see me but its not the same you know. I'm still waiting to see a girl look back at me in the mirror everyday. I see a glimpse of her every once and a while.
One thing that helps me is making before and after pictures. It lets me see how far I have actually gone in this journey.
I found a picture of me from 4 years ago. Today I took a selfie in the shop (almost 9 months hrt) wearing the same hoodie I had on back then. Its amazing how much I have changed in that amount of time. I don't even remember looking like that. I'm not happy with myself yet, but I know I have a few years left and I do see improvement.
Love all of you!
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/IfrdyrP.jpg)
Hi Chelsea -
What an amazing transformation! Yes, it does help looking at before and after pictures. What amazes me most when I look at old pictures is the change from a sad, unhappy male to a smiling girl!
Congratulations on the new job you got, so happy to see your business improving which in return allows you to get back to voice therapy.
Overall a very happy report! And so am happy for you!
Hugs,
Sarah
Hi Chelsea, you look fantabulous! What an amazing before/after. And then you throw machining/gear porn in there! LOL
And yeah, GERD. Your sister most likely could have told you what it was based on your description you shared in a previous post. Reflux is not a fun thing. Long term and uncontrolled it can lead to Barrett's esophagus (small risk actually...) which in turn can lead to esophageal cancer (also small risk but it's there). There's lots of meds that can be used to effectively treat it, some prescription some OTC. You just have to work with you MD to see what works best for you. You have one thing that can aggravate it - being overweight, especially having a lot of belly fat.
Quote from: Chelsea on December 06, 2018, 09:06:24 PM
Month 9 Update.
.
.
Well first off I have been to the doctor about my stomach issue. Turns out it was not a ulcer but GERD. Same thing I had about 15 years ago that eat a hole in my esophagus. My stomach is making an insane amount of acid. I have got meds for this now so within two weeks I should see some relief. Also the doctor told me that this could be some of my weight problems. I sure hope shes right. I'm at 125 at the moment.
.
.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hope your doctor told you just how serious GERD can be. If they didn't you should see a Gastroenterologist and have them do an Endoscopy so they can see just how much damage the GERD has done. I have it and it was bad. I have been on Prilosec / Omeprazole for 10 or so years because of it, which keeps it under control and prevents further damage. I had an Endoscopy in June and all was well.
Do yourself a favor and take good care of your health, it's the only health you have.
I'm not trying to rain on your parade, GERD is serious business.
Best wishes for your health,
Chris
I'm glad to hear you got that issue checked out. I am also on Omeprazole (OTC generic Prilosec) for GERD. It helped with my voice as the reflex was burning my vocal folds according to my ENT.
Yes the growth does come in spurts and will take some time to be considered complete. Like
@Alaskan Danielle I am so happy to read such a positive post! The calmness and compassion are certainly bonuses you never expected. Its a new and different Chelsea! All my best to you!
Quote from: muyun on December 07, 2018, 04:04:49 AM
The change is wonderful!
@muyun Dear Muyun:
I see that you have just joined Susan's Place and this is your very first posting on the Forums.
I am most pleased that you had decided to join the Susan's Place site and the Forums.
This is the right place for you to be to find out what others may have to say that may have been in your circumstances and with your questions and concerns.
There are a lot of members here that will be able to identify with your situation as you continue to feel free to share it.
I also want to warmly WELCOME you to Susan's Place.
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.
As you are certainly aware you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members. When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
***There is a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new like-minded friends here.
Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.
There is information and important LINKS that I have included below. You will find information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.
Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle
Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
Things that you should read
Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html) | Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html) | Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.) | Cautionary Note (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,82221.0.html) |
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html) | News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html) | Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866) | Membership Agreement (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,216851.0.html) |
Quote from: muyun on December 07, 2018, 04:04:49 AM
The change is wonderful!
@muyun Oh, and another thing Muyun:
Would you please make a point to stop by
the Introductions Forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,8.0.html) to tell more members about yourself.
Your introduction will permit other members here to know of your arrival... and you can expect more sharing of thoughts with other members... an as you get more involved in exchanging comments on various posts other members will be along to offer their thoughts and comments in response to any of your specific questions and concerns..
You may even make some new like-minded friends here like so many others have done.
Also be certain to look carefully at the informational and important LINKS that I included in my welcome message... the information there will help you to safely navigate around the forums and to take advantage of the features here. also pay particularly close attention to the LINKS IN RED, you will find answers to many questions that new members have.
Again, Welcome to Susan's Place,
Danielle
NOTE: I will now let @Chelsea have her thread back.
Hi Chelsea!
I'm sure my condition is probably different from yours but I have lived with acid reflux most of my life. My doctor prescribed Protonix years ago. I was having trouble eating anything without feeling like I was having a heart attack. After taking this med, I was able to eat and I started to gain weight again. I'm glad to hear your feeling better now.
Hugs,
Donica.
Quote from: Chelsea on December 06, 2018, 09:06:24 PM
Month 9 Update.
Is hard to believe that I have been on hormones 9 months. It seems like just a couple days ago I started this thread.
Well first off I have been to the doctor about my stomach issue. Turns out it was not a ulcer but GERD. Same thing I had about 15 years ago that eat a hole in my esophagus. My stomach is making an insane amount of acid. I have got meds for this now so within two weeks I should see some relief. Also the doctor told me that this could be some of my weight problems. I sure hope shes right. I'm at 125 at the moment.
Other changes I have notice my breast are tingly and hurting again. I think the change machine has started back up. It seems like they grow then stop and start again. They have done that like 4 times already in the last 9 months. I have noticed more physical changes this month then any before. Its been substantial enough that I have been a lot happier and not depressed in a while. Another thing I have noticed my arms are a lot more girly looking now. I have lost a lot in my arms and can tell I have lost some strength but not too bad.
Mentally I have noticed I'm a lot more compassionate then I ever was. That is the only thing that I have noticed in the last couple of months. I still cry very easy but its mostly happy tears.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hello again Chelsea
Sorry to hear about the GERD and I note it may also have affected your weight. I am glad you had the matter checked out and I wish you a speedy and full recovery.
It is so uplifting to read of your continuing physical and emotional improvements. Aching breasts are a plus as you know with probable further development! I am so happy that you are well above the line mentally and no longer depressed.
Hugs
Pamela
I just jumped in here to let everyone know I'm still alive and kicking. Business is doing very well, and I actually had to hire help for once. I know I have not posted much lately just because I have been so busy. I did get over my stomach issue and hopefully I will finally put some weight on.
I kind of put my transition on the back burner for a little bit. I'm not really depressed. I'm just letting it do its thing in the background while I stay busy. I haven't had makeup on in a month. Dysphoria has been hard to deal with this month for some reason. Its like every time I see a good looking woman, it feels like someone turned my dysphoria switch on.
Good news though..... Within the next three months I am having my dental work done and laser on my face. You might get to see me actually smile then. lol
Until next time..... Love you all!!
Chelsea
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea:
It is so very good to read your long awaited update. I am so very happy that your business is taking off, now you will be able to get caught up with your bills.... and wow, you are so busy that you had to hire an employee... kudos to you and believing in yourself and plowing forward instead of giving up.
I can hardly wait till you are able to go full speed ahead with your transition journey...
All of us will be eagerly looking for your future updates... but for sure, your time spent with your business and it's success takes priority for now... please,
Just don't delay your transition plans too long, we all want to see the new Chelsea ASAP.
Thank you for posting and sharing...
Hugs and more hugs.... and well wishes.[emoji173]
Danielle
Hi Chelsea, that's awesome to hear! Being in business for yourself can be tough and it's great to hear it's going in the right direction. Being busy is a gooooood thing. :-) You take care, have a wonderful holiday season, and keep us posted as you get time.
I am relieved, Chelsea, that you recovered from the stomach bug and delighted that your business is now doing so well - hopefully you are or soon will be "in the money". Sorry the GD has bothered you more this month; alas it troubles us all sometimes to a small and sometimes to a large degree.
May I take this opportunity of wishing you a Happy Christmas.
Hugs and Hugs for Christmas.
Pamela xxxx
Wonderful news about your business taking off. I understand about holding back on transition for a bit but don't let it go too long. Keep moving forward, even if slowly.
Thanks for checking in. We love to hear your news!
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on December 18, 2018, 09:07:12 PM
@Chelsea
Dear Chelsea:
It is so very good to read your long awaited update. I am so very happy that your business is taking off, now you will be able to get caught up with your bills.... and wow, you are so busy that you had to hire an employee... kudos to you and believing in yourself and plowing forward instead of giving up.
I can hardly wait till you are able to go full speed ahead with your transition journey...
All of us will be eagerly looking for your future updates... but for sure, your time spent with your business and it's success takes priority for now... please,
Just don't delay your transition plans too long, we all want to see the new Chelsea ASAP.
Thank you for posting and sharing...
Hugs and more hugs.... and well wishes.[emoji173]
Danielle
Quote from: JudiBlueEyes on December 19, 2018, 10:18:09 AM
Wonderful news about your business taking off. I understand about holding back on transition for a bit but don't let it go too long. Keep moving forward, even if slowly.
Thanks for checking in. We love to hear your news!
I must have said that wrong. I'm not stopping my transition and still taking my medication. I was just letting my body change more before venturing back out into the world as myself. Something really cool happened today. I got called ma'am today in full boy mode. It was the best feeling ever. That has never happened in boy mode before so I guess something is working right. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Chelsea on December 19, 2018, 08:06:33 PM
I must have said that wrong. I'm not stopping my transition and still taking my medication. I was just letting my body change more before venturing back out into the world as myself. Something really cool happened today. I got called ma'am today in full boy mode. It was the best feeling ever. That has never happened in boy mode before so I guess something is working right. lol
Hugs,
Chelsea
@ChelseaDear Chelsea:Wow-Whee ......... this is such great news for you, being correctly gendered even when in "boy mode" and not dressing in a feminine way.... very definitely very affirming and confidence building for you.
Perhaps you will start seeing yourself as we all see you....
...remember, each of us are our own worst critics.
I am glad that you are continuing with HRT.
Also, I am wondering if you are you continuing with voice lessons now?
Thank you for sharing with us all on your thread.
Hugs and more hugs,
Danielle
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea:I trust that you are finding the joy and happiness that you very much deserve so I am giving you my expression of the holiday season that we are now in:
wishing you a very
MERRY CHRISTMAS and a prosperous and
Happy
NEW YEAR in 2019
Hugs and as always, Well Wishes
Danielle
Wow Chelsea! That was a full blown male fail girl! Being ma'amed in boy mode,,, Male fail girl!!! Congratulations!!!
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea:This past year since I have met you on the Forums has been most enjoyable.
I have very much enjoyed swapping comments and thoughts with you on your thread, my thread, and on various threads around the Forums.
Obviously there are some bumps in the road that all of us experience so we continue to hang on for an exciting ride.
It was wonderful for me to meet you on the Forums this past year...
I have so much enjoyed your updates as you continue on in your journey.
Thank you for feeling free to share your life events with all of us.
I am so very happy that I found you and your thread on the Forums this last year and I will be eagerly following your upcoming reports and updates in the New Year in 2019.
Wishing you a very
HAPPY NEW YEAR in 2019...
Hugs and as always, well wishes.
Danielle
Month 10 Update
Its a couple of days from 10 months on HRT. I can't sleep tonight so I figured I would go ahead
and post a update. A lot has happened in the last 10 months. I kind of feel like a owe all of you and
apology for acting like I have in the past. I know at times I have just been a
complete mess. I remember taking that first pill thinking that this was gonna be a piece
of cake. lol. The "Emotional Roller coaster" so I have heard it called is really an
understatement. I finally have calmed down and have less moments like that. Having my
financial problems solved was a big part of that. I have finally paid the IRS back in
full. That was a big load off my solders for sure.
I am back in voice therapy and am practicing daily. I kind of sound like a girl with
laryngitis. We haven't even started on voice resonance yet so hopefully I will sound
better after more sessions.
In the next couple of months I am having major dental work done and laser on my face. I'm
kind of excited because I have not been able to do anything like that sense starting
HRT. Also I am saving for a hair transplant. I really want to get that done as soon as I
can because of the amount of time that it's going to take to grow. Seems like every
thing takes forever. Yes I am very impatient as you all know.
My body dimensions are still 34-26-36 and I weigh about 123lbs. Kind of sucks being as
skinny as I am. I have lost some size in my breast from loosing the weight I have. I'm
still trying to eat as much as can and gain some weight. I really think I could accept
myself with 15 or 20 pounds. I already have been called mam even in boy clothes so I
need my body to catch up with my face. lol
The pictures below was took last night in the shop. Me and my niece Joni and my good
friend Kris has been playing guitars after work a couple nights a week. Yes your seeing
a teal streak in my hair. Kris tells me that its not "age appropriate". Do I really have
to follow the "I'm almost 50" guidebook? lol. I still feel young so I'm just doing what
feels right to me. The body shot was took in my room last night too. With almost no
visible breast and the tiny butt I do have at 5'9" tall does not pass, I have been there
and tried. I had planned on going full time by my birthday in April. This all depends on
if I'm still skinny or have put some weigh on. I've not been myself in public in a couple of months now.
(https://i.imgur.com/d4WByF4.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/BLzA9oP.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/1tHmqSE.jpg)
Thanks to all of you.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hmmm...Body shot looks quite feminine to me. You look GREAT!
I have seen skinnier girls , you look great to me . Well jealous with my lardy frame!!! Keep up the good work and enjoy life.XXXXXX
Chelsea, you have nothing to apologize for. You had some hard times, and you leaned on us for support, and now you are having better times. That is what this forum is all about; that is what we are here for. You have done well!
I don't see anything age-inappropriate at all. A little bit of playful colour in the hair is perfectly appropriate for a young woman in her mid thirties, which is what you look like.
You look gorgeous, as always. Your body shot does show a thin woman, but there is nothing there that does not look feminine.
Thank you for your lovely update.
Hello again Chelsea
I assure you that no apology is necessary as you have done nothing wrong. We are here to share both unfortunate and good times and to help and encourage during the former and to celebrate the latter.
Congratulations on resuming Voice Therapy and good luck with the dentistry and the lasering on your face.
Happy New Year to you.
Hugs
Pamela
Hey Chelsea good to hear you. Happy New Year! I think you look great. And most any woman would be very jealous of your shape. It's awesome!
Chelsea, you are looking great, most slim girls have small breasts and only wear a bra so their nipples don't show headlights through their top. Your voice will improve with lessons and you will definitely be ready to go full time by April if you want to at that time
Thanks for the update Chelsea. You look great! Don't worry about your weight, as you get older this will be a beneficial starting point! I know getting your debt paid to the IRS is a big load off your mind and now you can focus on your voice and hair. It's going to be a great 2019 for you!!
You look good Chelsea. Keep up with the voice therapy. It just takes time.
Hugs!
Hey Chelsea,
Just had a good catch up on your thread.
Don't think I've been 8nspired by a braver person in a long long time.
I know the difficulties you've gone through & how hard it's been when you felt like everything was against you.
I'm so delighted that your turning your whole life around, and hey girl I'm sorry but you can't pass as male anymore you look awesome xx
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
@ChelseaMy dear Chelsea:.... A friendly reminder from your Forums friend: It has now been ONE FULL MONTH since you posted
your 10 month update here on your thread. :o
I and all of the followers of your thread are desiring to continue to follow you during your journey and we do indeed get concerned when we do not hear from you.
I trust that all is OK with your business and I hope that you are continuing successfully getting your finances in order. I hope that you, your mother and relations with your family members are going well.
.... and I trust that your social life is happening, at least a little.
Please know that we all miss seeing your postings. I am very glad that you put your Avatar Photo back up, it is nice to see your smiling face when I visit your thread.
Hugs and hugs,Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on February 03, 2019, 09:13:05 AM
@Chelsea
My dear Chelsea:
.... A friendly reminder from your Forums friend:
It has now been ONE FULL MONTH since you posted
your 10 month update here on your thread. :o
I and all of the followers of your thread are desiring to continue to follow you during your journey and we do indeed get concerned when we do not hear from you.
I trust that all is OK with your business and I hope that you are continuing successfully getting your finances in order. I hope that you, your mother and relations with your family members are going well.
.... and I trust that your social life is happening, at least a little.
Please know that we all miss seeing your postings. I am very glad that you put your Avatar Photo back up, it is nice to see your smiling face when I visit your thread.
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle
Thank you for the sweet words Danielle.
I still jump in here from time to time and look around. I haven't really been myself this month is the reason I have
been silent for a while.
As for my finances I'm doing very well for once. I have paid off most of my bills but still have a few.
Me and mom are getting along better than we ever have. She has had pneumonia for the last few weeks and spent
a week in the hospital. She is home now and I have been taking care of her. I have made no effort in looking boyish at all and dress feminine at home painted nails and all. She has not said a single word. Finally me and mom are doing good.
My sister has started calling me Chelsea in front of mom and she seems Ok with it. Fingers crossed.
Now for my social life I don't have one. I work 6 days a week. I make myself take one day off a week but I still don't do anything. I play guitar with some friends usually at my house or theirs on Sunday. They try to get me to go out but I never do. I'm not going to have any fun going in boy mode and I cant really go as myself yet. The only way you can tell I look kind of feminine is for me to wear something skin tight and I don't want to do that. With normal clothes I just look like a feminine boy and that don't work for me. I have been from 119 pounds up to 125 and back. I really sick of fighting to gain a few pounds but that's a entire discussion on its own and I'm not gonna start on that.
Sorry for the not to good of a update but I'm still here and I will be fine someday.
Big Hugs,
Chelsea
@ChelseaMy dearest Chelsea girl: Thank you so very much for coming back to your thread and letting us all know how you are doing.
I am so happy to hear that your business and your finances are getting back into "black ink"...
It is such great news regarding your mother and your sister.... you should feel quite good about that.
Hmmm, working 6 days a week and long hours is definitely not fun but do know that I can identify with that. You gotta do what you gotta do to make ends meet for now.
It is good that you do have some social life on Sundays with your friends.... all work and no play makes Chelsea a sad girl.
Frankly, I think that your update is more good news than bad news, I am happy, and you should be too, that you are making progress and things are much better than they were many months ago.... and there is more good stuff to come your way for sure.
Thank you so much for sharing with us all.
As you feel so led to write out your frustrations you will ease your mind somewhat and it helps get it out of your mind and your system somewhat, and of course we always have an ear to listen and a shoulder to lean on. When you report good news we will be happy and rejoice with you.
Please don't be a stranger on your thread.... please continue to post but only as you feel comfortable doing.... and of course you and I have privately communicated and you can do that anytime.
Hugs and Hugs and Hugs.... [emoji173]
Danielle
Hello again Chelsea
I am so happy things are progressing well on the financial and on the family front. Your mom is showing signs of acceptance.
Good luck on the weight gain and the socializing but only when you feel ready of course.
Hugs
Pamela
So happy to see you up and about here! I agree with Danielle about your update having some really good news, namely that your finances are looking up and best of all, that your mom is coming around! You have turned that ship just about completely around. I completely understand how you aren't comfortable out in public yet. I am very much the same way. I do it, but only with other trans people and only on occasion. We'll all get there.
Much love,
Julie
Below is a copy of a Facebook post I just made. All of you have been so good to me and it might let some of you know a little about my history.
When I started this page, I only had close friends and family following me. Over the last 11 months I have got a few more friends and some of you don't really know me from a hole in the wall. I wanted to jump in here and let everyone know a l tiny bit about me and my history.
I had the best childhood you could imagine and the best parents on earth. When puberty started is the time, I had my first thoughts of wanting to be a girl. When boys and girl's bodies started changing, I wanted to know why I didn't look like they do. I remember trying to tell my mother that I didn't like the way I looked and wanted to change it. I really didn't know how to tell her how I was feeling. I was scolded and told that I look fine and told not to talk that way. From that point on I thought that I was wrong to feel that way so I kept it hid. These feelings got stronger though out my life. I was painting my toes and shaving my legs at the age of 14. Then I would go through times of guilt and stop. At the age of 15 my dad of 53 years old was taken from me by cancer. After that I began to develop a hate for myself because of being a boy and the way I looked. I'm still working on the self-hate thing today. I tried to "Man up" by letting my beard grow out. I started lifting weights and even took testosterone illegally trying to bulk up. That only lasted a month or so because It made me feel terrible. In the early 90's my mom was diagnosed with lymphoma. I took her to doctors' appointments and cancer treatments for about 15 years. I am happy to say my mother is doing good and is still with us today and cancer free.
In the early 2000's I discovered transgenders on the internet. I was amazed that you could actually change genders. Then the thoughts started rushing in. What's all my friends going to think? What's my family going to think? People are going to make fun of you. Everyone's going to hate you. Your too old. Your way to ugly. So, I basically talked myself out of even trying. In 2013 I started my own business with a CNC machine shop. I was so naive thinking that I could "sneak" and transition and not many would know. Lol. In 2015 I started taking herbal hormones. By 2017 my dysphoria (now I know what it was) was taking over my life. It was at that point that I decided to get an appointment with a professional therapist to see just what was wrong with me. After that first visit, I was told that I was transgender. Even though I kind of knew it somehow, her telling me that was overwhelming. Within 24 hours after that I would be sitting with a gun barrel in my mouth. Thank goodness I was to chicken to go through with it. I thought about if its important enough to take my life over then I need to fix it. A week later I started HRT on March 7, 2018. Two months later I started this page and came out to my close friends and family. I am very lucky to say that I only one person that I thought was my friend turned her back on me. It took my mother about 7 months to finally come around but she did and I have the support of the entire family.
So here I sit 46 years old. I feel like HRT saved my life. The only regret I have is not doing this sooner in life. I know I have a long way to go, I'm not full time yet. I struggle with gaining weight and there are a few cosmetic surgeries that I really want and will in time. The best part is that only in these last two weeks I have seen a female looking back at me in the mirror. I no longer see the miserable person I once was. I want to thank all of you for being so kind to me. Its been a lot of years and we all have off days but, for the most part I am feeling happy again like when I was a kid, and that my friends is what's most important to me! It's never too late and I know that now. 😊
Chelsea
@Chelsea My Dear Chelsea:Thank you so very much for coming back to your thread to update all of us.... I will tell you however, 2 weeks is too long for this follower (me) waiting for your update and knowing that you are OK, but of course all of us members here on the forums have
NO obligation to post anything at any time, but only post when you feel so led and feel comfortable sharing.
That was a lovely and informative summary of your life and your road to your transition decisions.... I appreciate your candid comments and your sharing of your quite personal story of your life endeavors.
Your followers here (definitively me included) are your biggest fans and we are in your corner always rooting for your success.
I was so very happy to read what you stated:
"The best part is that only in these last two weeks I have seen a female looking back at me in the mirror. I no longer see the miserable person I once was." Please continue to enjoy your journey from this point on....... many more good things to come your way.
I will be eagerly looking for your future updates, private message, and private emails that you may feel free to share as you wish.
Hugs and more hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Hello again Chelsea
It is so uplifting to read your account of your earlier life and thoughts and the 11 month HRT transition journey you embarked on.
I am so happy that you have support from your entire family and that you can now see a woman looking back at you in the mirror.
I wish you future success both with your transition and with your business.
Hugs
Pamela
I really like your new avatar picture.
Thank you for the wonderful post Chelsea! And I love the new Avatar photo. You are a beautiful young woman.
Yes, dreams can come true.
Hi Chelsea, good to hear from you. Nice update! You look fantastic.
Thank you ladies for the compliments. Danielle I will try and post a little more so you don't worry so much. lol It's just that I haven't had much time because of the amount of hours I work. I skipped my month 11 update because of being so busy. I got my one year coming up so I will post a update soon.
Hugs
Chelsea
Wow! I love you new avatar Chelsea. You look so cute. I'm so glad you are feeling better now. Stay strong girl.
Hugs!
One Year of HRT!
Today marks one full year on HRT. For some reason if feels like its been four years instead of one. 2018 was by far the most difficult time of my life. Towards the end of it, things got a lot better so let's hope it keeps going that way.
I honestly thought that I would be full time in the first 8 months or so. Then again, I also thought that transitioning was going to be easy. Don't get me wrong I have made improvements but its no where near what I need to be.
A few things that have changed in the past year on hormones:
My skin is ridiculously soft now. I never thought it would be like it is but I do bruise a little easier. Also, what little bit of body hair I did have is gone. I have lost a few pounds over the last year 143 all the way down to 119 and that one really bugs me daily. My eyes have changed for the worse. Some say its my age. It could be but funny thing is, at the beginning of HRT I had perfect vision. Now anything closer than 15 inches from my face is blurry. These next two are going to sound silly but I am about a half an inch shorter now than I was. I'm not complaining, 5'8½ sounds better than 5'9 to me. Lol Next thing is all my shoes are really loose. I'm not saying my feet got smaller but I can wear a ½ size smaller now. Possibly from weight loss?? I think as for as cup size I'm an honest "A". They have a nice shape so maybe they will just keep on going. My body shape has changed some too. I lost everything around the middle first It seemed like. I have a tiny waist. I did gain a little in my butt and thighs but I'm so skinny its hard to tell. I think my face has changed more than anything.
Mentally I have changed a lot too. My dysphoria is worse now more than it ever was. Getting on the scale, thinking about all the surgeries I need or seeing a good-looking woman in public gets me almost every time. Sometimes it last for a few days. I over analyze things people say sometimes, have emotional days, cry easier. I sound like a mess, right? lol On a positive I am a lot more "easy going". Estrogen has definitely calmed me down.
I am happy the way its going, I'm just very impatient. My doctor said that most get a lot of changes from month 9 to 18. Lets just hope she's right. I'm just not comfortable going out looking like I do. Just last week my therapist told me to keep going out that it gets easier the more you go. That might be true but I'm not happy with myself yet so there is no way. I only very recently got back into voice therapy. Its more difficult than I thought. Maybe that's just me being impatient again. It has changed a little but it's still very male sounding.
Good things will be happening this year. I got a quote on my hair transplant and I am saving for that now. I want to get that done as soon as I can because like everything else its very slow. That's another reason I don't like going in public is because there is only so much you can do to hide it. I have a little dental work to finally take care of this year also.
Business is still booming. I had to order a couple of new machines just to keep up with work coming in. I'm not complaining at all, looking back a few months ago I was in bad shape. I have three employees now so I'm moving up in the world. Lol
Just in case I didn't mention it before, me and mom are getting along very good. Its weird because we haven't been this close sense the 90's. I'm so happy I have the entire family on my side. My sister is the only one so far that has called me Chelsea. I get it and understand that its probably hard to get used too for them.
That's just about all I can think of. I'm not posting any body dimensions until I gain some weight. Over all I am happy with the way its going. I posted a before and after below. The first one is about four years ago and the last one is a couple of nights ago. I didn't do anything with my hair on purpose just to show how thin it really is. Waiting on that transplant is torture. I do love the curls though. I never knew it did that before because it was always short.
I guess this was a pretty good report. Hopefully 2019 will be a great year.
To the few that follow me thank you so much for the support you all have given me! I Love you all!
Chelsea
(https://i.imgur.com/3IRhX2q.jpg)
I follow, I am often (usually) very quiet and hard to hear :D It's great to hear of positive progress.
OH, and I love the way you did your eyes in that after/current photo!! woooo
Faith
Happy anniversary Chelsea!
Impatience is a common issue with most of us, but your progress is stunning.
Hugs and smiles, Jess
Thank you for sharing your story.
Your before and after picture is stunning.
I will start following you're thread.
AJ
You have had quite the year! You worked through your down times with a persistence that will carry you further along your path! Great news re: your business! Looking back, you can be proud of your efforts! You are a strong woman!
Hugs!
@Chelsea Dear Chelsea:Wow-Whee ..... I have been waiting (impatiently) for your latest update and WOW, you have posted a wonderfully affirming report regarding your progress.
HAPPY ONE YEAR HRT BIRTHDAY :icon_birthday: :icon_birthday: :icon_birthday: :icon_birthday:
Your before and after photo comparison definitely shows the dramatic change that your HRT regimen and just as importantly your attention to hair, cosmetics, clothing and all of that has done to help make you be the woman that you have desired to be.
I am so very happy that your business is doing well again, and very importantly you relationship with your Mom is going well for the both of you.
What your therapist told you about going out and about as "Chelsea" is very true...
...it does indeed get easier the more you go out.
I have also mentioned that many times to you based on my own experiences. Plus going out and about with supporting friends makes it a lot easier..... safety in numbers!!!
Yes... I am hoping and trusting that 2019 will be your year to shine.
I am one of your biggest fans and I am always rooting for your success.As a final note, I hope that you are aware that you made us all wait for 3 weeks to get an update from you on your thread... I was having withdrawals from not hearing from you!!! ;) ;) :o ::)
Please continue to keep us tuned in to your life events
BUT ONLY as you feel comfortable posting them.
Hugs and best wishes [emoji171]
Danielle
I'm a lot like you in that I am impatient. Your before and after shows a big difference for the better Chelsea. Congratulations on your one year HRT. I too noticed more changes between 9 and 18 months. Most of us will continue to change for three years or so. We still have a long way to go.
I glad to hear your business is doing well. It's good to have something to help keep your mind off of things, as well as paying the bills.
Hugs.
Congratz on one year of hrt, you look awesome! And i love your thread it is inspiring.
Hugs Aiyanna
I love putting on my makeup. Just wish i was better at it but i am getting there. I put it on almost everyday and I don't go out without having some one. ;D
BTW. Congrats on 1 year HRT. I am getting there to. Start my 9th month next week.
Quote from: Chelsea on March 07, 2019, 08:50:46 AM
One Year of HRT!
I also thought that transitioning was going to be easy.
It seems the further we go, the further we see that we have to go. Impatience is the name of the game!
I lost weight in the beginning too, but eventually I was able to put it back on and now I have to be careful of what and how much I eat. This is something I've never had to do. (be careful of what you wish for)
I'm happy to read your mother's relationship with you has improved. You do need to speak with everyone (except your sister) about calling you by your name. It's been long enough, you're not going back. It will just make them look silly when you're out and about and they mis-name you.
Wow, business is going well if you've hired employees! Whoo Hoo!!
The happiness in your current photo really shines through. Your hair looks lovely and look at your complexion! Beautiful. You've come so far.
Thanks for sharing your update.
Hi Girlfriend! OMG! one year already! Congratulations! I am glad to read your update about how things have changed for the better for you. Girl, you maybe be having a difficult time with your weight but dang Hun you are good looking. I am so glad your Mom has turned the page and is finally able to see her daughter. I warms my heart.
Hugs,
Laurie
Hi, Chelsea! Congratulations on the 1 year anniversary. I think your doc mentioned something like this, but quite a bit of the physical changes happen in the second year, and if you gain a bit of weight, much will likely go to the 'right' places!
It's also good to see the business is picking up, and family stuff is doing well. Your future is bright!
Hi Chelsea,
Congrats girl, you've come through an amazingly difficult period stronger and happier.
Let's pray for only good things for the next year.
All your hard works paid off and I'm so happy for you, especially things with your mum xx
Awesome update.
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
Chelsea
Congratulations on your one year HRT anniversary. It is wonderful to read of so many good events in your summary.
You have lost a bit of height and can take a smaller size shoe; I have experienced the latter and I have gained weight in my 13 months HRT and hence I assume it must be loss of muscle in the feet. Many of us also experience the former.
You are feeling calmer and more emotional and cry easier which is further good news.
Your mom has completely come round to accepting you and your business is thriving.
Yes 2018 was a hard year for you but things have recently improved.
I hope you enjoy the remaining 10 months of 2019 as much as you enjoyed the first 2.
I know you are motivated and organized to take all necessary future action at the appropriate time. I am so happy for you.
Hugs
Pamela xx
Quote from: Chelsea on February 21, 2018, 09:46:42 PM
I love makeup too. I will have to remember that. I'm used to rubbing my eyes anytime without thinking about it. :)
Hi! Nice to meet you too!
Update
I just came out to my best friend!
Everything is all good with us. His first response was "Your gonna help me work on my cars no matter what nail color you got on." LOL It feels like a big weight just got lifted off my shoulders. I have been friends with him sense childhood and have worried about telling him for a long time. I know i will have some friends that probably won't talk
to me anymore but, that's OK because I have to do whats best for yours truly. :) 2 down and a lot more to go.
Hugs,
Chelsea
You go girl! That's awesome. I went full time 18 months ago but my best friend couldn't handle it and I've lost contact with him - some people will struggle sadly but it's the price of pure happiness and on balance i'm way ahead! [emoji16][emoji16][emoji16]
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote from: pamelamoore2706 on March 09, 2019, 03:01:48 AM
You go girl! That's awesome. I went full time 18 months ago but my best friend couldn't handle it and I've lost contact with him - some people will struggle sadly but it's the price of pure happiness and on balance i'm way ahead! [emoji16][emoji16][emoji16]
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
@pamelamoore2706 Dear PamelaMoore: I see that you kinda
flew under the radar and became a member here on Susan's Place way back on
November 05, 2018... over4 months ago!!! ... and that you you have already posted 12 times since then.
I am sorry that you did not get an Official Welcome Message that all new members deserve but I am so very glad that you have become a member here and that you found the Susan's Place Forums.
As you continue to post on the forums you will be able to exchange thoughts and comments with others that are experiencing many of the same things that you are. I expect that you will be getting many members offering their thoughts and suggestions as you continue to post here.
This is the right place for you to be to find out what others may have to say that may have been in your circumstances and with your questions and concerns.
There are a lot of members here that will be able to identify with your situation and as you continue to feel free to share with all of us.
I also want to warmly
WELCOME you to Susan's Place.
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.
As you are certainly aware you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members. When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others
and offer support to others. ....
***There is a very good chance that you might find that you will
make some new like-minded friends here.
Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.
I have attached important and informative
LINKS that will help you to navigate around the Forums and will allow you to enjoy the features here.
Please look closely at the
LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.
Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
DanielleHere are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with: Things that you should read
Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html) | Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html) | Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.) | Cautionary Note (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,82221.0.html) |
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html) | News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html) | Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866) | Membership Agreement (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,216851.0.html) |
@pamelamoore2706 Oh, and another thing PamelaMoore...
Please plan to write a post and tell us more about yourself in the Introductions Forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,8.0.html) so that other members will be aware of your arrival... therefore you will be able to share your thoughts with more members here.
Thank you again for joining Susan's Place and being involved in the Forums here.
Best wishes to you,
DanielleNOTE: Now after all of this Greeting Stuff I will let everyone have this thread back so that the exchange of conversation can continue.
Other members here will certainly be along to give you their comments and suggestions that you may be seeking
Thank all of you so much! I wanted to spread a little good news and say that I have gained 6 pounds and really have no idea how. I'm pretty sure I am still eating the same. Lack of stress maybe?? :laugh: Either way I like that I'm finally gaining!!
Hugs,
Chelsea
Great news!
I second that, great news.
I wonder if E and lower T may be contributing to the weight gain?
Quote from: Chelsea on March 10, 2019, 10:29:07 AM
Thank all of you so much! I wanted to spread a little good news and say that I have gained 6 pounds and really have no idea how. I'm pretty sure I am still eating the same. Lack of stress maybe?? :laugh: Either way I like that I'm finally gaining!!
Hugs,
Chelsea
Yay! Good news :)
Quote from: Chelsea on March 10, 2019, 10:29:07 AM
Thank all of you so much! I wanted to spread a little good news and say that I have gained 6 pounds and really have no idea how. I'm pretty sure I am still eating the same. Lack of stress maybe?? :laugh: Either way I like that I'm finally gaining!!
Hugs,
Chelsea
I'll bet that the stress is the culprit, especially in the type of work you do. Stress can cause a number of unwanted health issues.
Good news indeed. Hang in there Chelsea.
I'm still offering to give you some of my weight [emoji23]
Month 13 Update
Well, I honestly never thought that I would get to the point of not passing as a boy anymore but its here. Something about half way through month 11 I started noticing more changes. Its like they are happening faster. Whatever it is I hope it keeps on going. I'm so happy I cant stand myself. lol. In the past two weeks I have been called Ma'am at least 5 times, had a door held for me and called "sweetheart" at guitar center this weekend.
Thing is I'm dressing in "boy mode" and I look more like a girl in her boyfriends clothes. Its like I am still trying to hold on to my comfort buy hiding in my boy clothes. I'm having a very hard time going full time. My family and my friends are telling me the guy look left me months ago. Now the comfort of my "boy look" does not really work anymore. I am uncomfortable in public as a guy now also. My breast are impossible to hide now and my face is so soft looking. The girls at the Pilot store at the end of my road are always saying "Hi Chelsea" when I walk in even if there are 15 construction workers in there. Talk about feeling weird and out of place. lol
Me and mom are doing great. I honestly never thought we would be close like that again. She told me the other day that "You don't look like my little boy anymore." I said "No but I look like your daughter and I'm happier now." I think she can tell I'm happy and is probably the reason she has accepted me.
Work has been busy as ever and is the main reason I haven't posted in a while.
I'm not stressed anymore and have put on 7 pounds so far. Lots of bread, pasta and protein has been doing the trick along with the exercise I've been doing for a few months.
I still have not got back into voice therapy just yet. I am making a appointment this week to start back. I'm a little nervous about going because it has been so long. There has been a few times where I was called ma'am and when I spoke they would either look at me with a weird look or call me sir. lol So yeah I got to get the voice fixed ASAP.
The same person I see for voice therapy also helps trans-women with posture and walking. I think I do pretty good but figured while I'm already there I could see if she can help me improve.
I think that's about it for now. I normally try and post a selfie each update so I will try and get one on here later.
I really miss talking to all of you and I'm gonna try and be more active.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Thank you for sharing your experiences Chelsea.
It sure sounds neat to be gendered female in mens clothes!
Its not the same thing as the girl-in-boyfriends clothes thing you mention, but I aspire to being gendered female, (or at least make people wonder), when in pants and very light to no makeup at times. It seems important to me not to have to be in a major costume production in order to be gendered female.
Good luck finding a comfortable weight for you!
Chelsea, your avatar is female.
You may want stretch your boundaries. It sounds like you are well received and have support so, you may want to start with jeans then add a top. Summer is coming and fitted tops to show off your figure would be cute.
Good luck and it is great news that you are putting on a few pounds.
Rachel
Hello again Chelsea
As you know I have been following your story since the start - therapy and then HRT wef March 7th 2018.
I am absolutely delighted to see that physical changes are now happening at a faster rate resulting in correct gendering including in boy mode and also that you are and your mom are getting on so well. Relatives who disapprove at first quite often accept us when they see how happy we are in transition.
This is wonderful uplifting news.
Hugs
Pamela xx
Chelsea this is a wonderful update! Yes we do seem to be the last ones to see that we no longer pass as our natal gender. Others pick up on it quickly. I'm happy to hear your business is going well and your relationship with mom is good. I know you never thought you would be at this point but dreams do come true when you believe.
Judi
Wow, Chelsea! Things are really progressing well for you! I can actually hear the happiness and joy in your words! Fabulous to see this happening! All the best as you continue along your path! Hugs!
That's awesome!!! Passed right by me. ;D
Congratulations Chelsea! Your looking cis girl!!!
Month 14 Update
I'm about a week late on my update so I made time to let you all know whats been going on with me.
First thing is my doctor started me on progesterone a couple weeks ago. I have heard some people say that it does nothing so I'm excited to find out.
Next thing is that I'm almost out of the closet. Lol Normally when I'm home around friends or family I'm myself but, when I go out to any public place I try my best to "boy up". I guess I do this because it kind of makes me feel safe or comfortable. Lately I have been getting odd looks like people are trying to figure me out or confused. No bad experiences though, just weird. Lol. A week ago me and my nephew went to guitar center but I went as myself. I'm not sure how I did it. It was the only time sense starting hormones that I was actually comfortable. I had it all worked up in my head that the world would come to a end if I went as myself. Well it was one of the best days of my life. I have never felt so free. I didn't get any crap from people and was treated like any other woman there. I didn't get the odd looks like when I present Male. It may not sound like a big deal to most of you but that was a big turning point for me. There are still places I'm not comfortable going but for once think I can do this. I probably was clocked by a couple but I think I passed for the most part and that was amazing. I have been myself everyday sense then. There still are a few places that I'm not comfortable going but I will get there.
I'm still working on my voice too. I already sound a little different but I need a lot more practice.
I didn't take any body measurements but let me tell you I love hormones! Finally at 14 months my body is starting to look very feminine. Its to the point where I cant really hide in boy clothes anymore. Its kind of made me come out of hiding even if its uncomfortable.
Business is still long hours of 6 days a week but no complaints from me there.
Last thing is I had Botox about a month ago. That helped my confidence more than anything. I look a years younger and I'm starting to second guess even needing a facelift. I think I'm ok just like I am for a while.
I guess thats all for now. Life is starting to get a lot better. :)
Hugs,
Chelsea
What a wonderful update, Chelsea! As for it not being a big deal, I'm here to tell you that even after almost 20 months of being full-time, I still have so many of what some of us call "squeee moments." The doubts still linger in the back of my head, and every small bit of affirmation still feels so good. Don't ever discount how wonderful being yourself is and always will be, to yourself and all of us who are cheering you on, no matter how far along transition we may be.
You are well on the way to where I finally find myself: as I write this I'm sitting alone at a Starbucks in Universal Studios Florida, wearing a cami top and a skirt, and just soaking it all in.
Life will still have its ups and downs, but there are so many more ups than downs for all of us who keep moving forward and quit letting fear hold us back. It is so cool to watch you overcome obstacle after obstacle. I'm going to declare that you have made it, girl. Congratulations!
Stephanie
@Chelsea:
Dear Chelsea:A BIG WELCOME BACK to your thread and to the Forums.
You have been dearly missed.
Thank you for posting your 14 month HRT update. I trust that you will get the results you are seeking regarding the progesterone regimen that you recently started. Please keep us all updated regarding that.
You stated that you are
"Almost out of the closet" ... that is great news, for sure, hiding is not any fun. I trust that you will soon get to the point that you won't have to be in male-mode for any reason.
Keep working on your voice, as you know, that is a big factor in passing reliably.
I was glad to read that HRT is finally shaping your body to be more feminine. For some it is a quicker process with more significant changes and for some it is a slower process with less significant changes..... it is all up to your genes and your body.... so continue to be
PATIENT.Hmm, I read that you had a Botox treatment, I am glad to read that you are happy with the results.
It is so good that your business is going well and paying the bills.... you have worked very hard to recover your business prospects.... kudos to you.
Again, thank you Chelsea for your 14 month report.... I will be eagerly looking for your future postings but please don't make us wait so long for your update, and I will be also looking for your other postings around the various threads.
LOTS OF HUGS, [emoji172]
Danielle
Heya Chelsea. I had a reply all typed up on my phone earlier and it poofed into the internet ethers. I'm trying again, from home this time.
As Stephanie stated, even after being full time for a while those ol'doubts linger in the back of your head .. what's everyone else thinking?? I was out and about today in my pink top and black skirt and you know what? No doubts!! Nothing feels better than being yourself, enjoy every minute of it.
Voice, I'm no help there. I don't even try. When my voice changes it does so on it's own. Lori says that it's cool and weird at the same time how my whole pattern of speech shifts. Imagine what it would be if I did try? You keep working on it. Remember, what you hear and others hear is not the same thing. Record yourself and listen back.
Great news Chelsea! Keep those wheels turning.
Quote from: Chelsea on May 15, 2019, 03:56:51 PM
Lately I have been getting odd looks like people are trying to figure me out or confused. No bad experiences though, just weird. Lol. A week ago me and my nephew went to guitar center but I went as myself. I'm not sure how I did it. It was the only time sense starting hormones that I was actually comfortable. I had it all worked up in my head that the world would come to a end if I went as myself. Well it was one of the best days of my life. I have never felt so free. I didn't get any crap from people and was treated like any other woman there. I didn't get the odd looks like when I present Male. It may not sound like a big deal to most of you but that was a big turning point for me.
Having fun is what its about girl! It sounds like you're at the point of male fail due to the odd looks. Especially since there were none as your true self. Time to rethink going full time, all the time. Thinking the world will end is a common fear but it doesn't!
I'm happy to read that business is going well but don't get burnt out. Leave some time to play.
Hugs, Judi
Quote from: Chelsea on May 15, 2019, 03:56:51 PM
Month 14 Update
A week ago me and my nephew went to guitar center but I went as myself. I'm not sure how I did it. It was the only time sense starting hormones that I was actually comfortable. I had it all worked up in my head that the world would come to a end if I went as myself. Well it was one of the best days of my life. I have never felt so free. I didn't get any crap from people and was treated like any other woman there. I didn't get the odd looks like when I present Male. It may not sound like a big deal to most of you but that was a big turning point for me. I probably was clocked by a couple but I think I passed for the most part and that was amazing.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Hello again Chelsea
I can relate to this experience perfectly as I attended the UK Meet Up of Susans Members on March 16th and it was precisely the same for me. I was probably clocked by a few people travelling to the event and back by train but I felt very much at home obviously at the event and also travelling. I felt so liberated and it instilled in me great confidence that I can indeed do this. I was so insecure and fearing the worst beforehand but the event gave me more motivation which has remained with me since. I know I can and will go fulltime as soon as my house is sold in Summer.
Congratulations on starting Progesterone in May. Coincidentally I started Progesterone on March 17th and I am definitely sleeping deeper and better - if I wake up in the night, I can get back to sleep immediately.
I am also delighted to see your business is still doing so well.
You have had significant ups and downs previously in your transition and it so uplifting to read this wonderful update. Transition is essentially about liberation, about being ourselves. I am sure you will continue to live properly and love life!
Hugs
Pamela xx
Yay Chelsea! I'm so glad to hear you are doing better at being yourself. It really is very affirming.
Congratulations!