My husband thinks a lot. He told me yesterday it is ok that I crossdress but he can't stand the thought of me having a deep voice and a beard.
Maybe this is a step forward. Maybe not. He made it clear to me he will leave when I get hormones. It is just getting ready for it. In mind and soul.
I'm happy we can talk about it though, without fighting or hurting each others feelings.
Tony
Been there Tony. My wife married a man she doesn't want a woman. Sadly it comes to a choice... do you live your life or stay stalled for others. I couldn't do it anymore so its over.
Yep. Pretty much the same here. My wife said she's through the door if i start hormones.
V x
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Tony, pretty much same story here although we can rarely talk about it without it turning into an argument. My heart goes out to you.
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Same here my wife said she will support me until starting hormoans then after starting them she had to leave
I don't want anyone to feel sad, but I got very, very lucky. Even after two years of hormones, my wife finds me attractive, and is now asking if that means she is a lesbian.
FWIW, my wife's youngest brother is gay, and she has an older sibling who is mtf transgender.
She tends to be a bit butch in her mannerisms and dress (she likes shirt dresses or pants or leggings and won't wear a skirt.
The first few years were a struggle for control of the marriage, and things actually work better with me ceding control and being the girl in the relationship.
I can still do a very femme version of the guy she married — boyfriend jacket, fitted dress shirt, necktie, and skinny trousers.
What we have works because we were unconventional to begin with.
My heart hurts for those of you going through troubles. My divorce from my first wife was apocalyptic. Have faith. You will find happiness.
Hugs, Carly
Tony,
I too feel for you in your situation. I am mtf but my wife is having a very difficult time accepting our new reality. Thankfully my wife has expressed her ongoing love for me. She doesn't want to leave or end our marriage but the dynamic has changed. Sadly, I think it may just be that we will be close friends. Being physical with me makes her feel like s lesbian and she is emphatic that she is attracted to men. She hasn't set any absolute limitations to what she can accept but the relationship has changed permanently. Perhaps with enough time to process your new reality your husband will find a way to accept and with any luck, embrace the true you the same as he did when he married you in the first place. You are still you. Best of luck to you Tony. Love and faith.
Gabrielle
Thank you people for your stories. It can go either way. Have to be prepared for all outcomes.
Tony
I've read of many that lost their spouse because of transition, many people that their spouses stayed as well. It breaks my heart to hear of relationships that did not make it. I can't imagine what it must be like. Never being interested in women no matter how hard I tried and not able to be with a man as a man, I spent my life alone. For me it was a miserable way to live but having transitioned in my forties, the thought of losing someone that I had shared my life with seems worse in a way.
It is good that you are able to communicate openly and I hope that you can weather the storm and find happiness on the other side.