Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Faith on February 09, 2018, 08:40:43 AM

Title: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: Faith on February 09, 2018, 08:40:43 AM
Yesterday at work, walking down the hallway, I thought I heard my name. I turned to look (nope) but there was a guy looking at me with a smile. Now, to me, that smile was a 'look at that' smile. Not sure how I feel about that but what if it was a 'Oh wow, look at that guy, lol" smile? I suppose either way doesn't matter, I am who I am.

I mentioned it to my wife and she simply said, "Yeah, there was a guy checking you out at the store yesterday too."  Say what?   :o
Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: Julia1996 on February 09, 2018, 09:10:43 AM
You will get used to having guys check you out. It's going to happen. It's pretty easy to tell if a guy is lusting after you. They get this look like a wolf looking at a bunny rabbit.
Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: Kylo on February 09, 2018, 09:54:47 AM
There are some guys who'll check you out and if you happen to look at them they'll hide all signs they were looking. But a smile at you is a dead giveaway, either of interest or that they aren't shy about whatever they are thinking.

I mean it's completely different from passing one by and him returning a smile, or trying to prompt one from you in the polite sense. I'm talking more like you turn around suddenly and they happen to be looking and smiling. That's a giveaway.

Otherwise they might well be checking someone out and that person will not know because they're more furtive about it.

I have this way of checking people out with a sort of blank stare that could be anything. Not because I'm ogling people but because I like to be situationally aware, but I won't make direct eye contact if someone happens to glance back unless I want to. Easy to do. It's looking but not looking. Some guys might also use it similarly to check people out, I don't know. These days people probably just hide behind their phones or something while doing it.
Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: Faith on February 09, 2018, 09:58:15 AM
Quote from: Julia1996 on February 09, 2018, 09:10:43 AM
You will get used to having guys check you out. It's going to happen. It's pretty easy to tell if a guy is lusting after you. They get this look like a wolf looking at a bunny rabbit.

HAH!  Thank you for that image, but I seriously don't think any man will be looking at me with 'wolf-lust'. I think the best I will get is casual interest ... eventually. Considering my marital status, that's just fine. :)

Quote from: Kylo on February 09, 2018, 09:54:47 AM
There are some guys who'll check you out and if you happen to look at them they'll hide all signs they were looking. But a smile at you is a dead giveaway that they were.

When I was younger, I tried to work on my 'stealth looking'. I thought I was pretty good at it but likely not. Hopefully most guys are just as bad at it.  Then again, do I want to know? I know what goes on in some guys heads .. ewww ...
Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: Kylo on February 09, 2018, 10:05:39 AM
Most guys aren't too good at stealth looking, from what I notice. Especially if they're looking at someone they like.
Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: KarynMcD on February 09, 2018, 02:37:01 PM
Quote from: Faith on February 09, 2018, 08:40:43 AM
that but what if it was a 'Oh wow, look at that guy, lol" smile?

They usually aren't smiling if they clock you.
Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: Sarah_P on February 09, 2018, 05:30:28 PM
I've had a few times when guys gave me the smile when I saw them looking at me. I wondered if that's what it was! When I'm out shopping with my lady friend, she'll sometimes clue me into people checking us out. I'm usually oblivious.
I know I was never good at the stealth look, apparently I'm not good at noticing looking, either....
Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: Colleen_definitely on February 09, 2018, 05:39:07 PM
So I just left the Baltimore airport food court where some guy was doing this to me.  It was that shy sort of "oh hell she's looking back, look away NOW!" sort of glance away when I would try and catch him looking.

Amusing, flattering, and my girlfriend got a laugh out of it when I told her about it via text.


Also a totally tangential protip: if you're in the Baltimore airport and see that hot dog stand out near the B gates, don't get the "Tucson Sonoran" hotdog.  The only two ingredients they get right are a hot dog and beans, the rest is either missing or plain wrong.  Tucson should sue for defamation of character.
Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: Allison S on February 09, 2018, 06:20:42 PM
I don't really get smiled at much by guys just randomly. Usually I'll notice a guy looking my way and almost seems like they'll have furrowed eyebrows/quizzical look. It's definitely a look that they're either cruising or they want to beat me up... so I don't know.

I think a smile is definitely friendly and a good thing. Not at all clocking you like was mentioned.

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: Julia1996 on February 09, 2018, 06:23:36 PM
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on February 09, 2018, 05:39:07 PM
So I just left the Baltimore airport food court where some guy was doing this to me.  It was that shy sort of "oh hell she's looking back, look away NOW!" sort of glance away when I would try and catch him looking.

Amusing, flattering, and my girlfriend got a laugh out of it when I told her about it via text.


Also a totally tangential protip: if you're in the Baltimore airport and see that hot dog stand out near the B gates, don't get the "Tucson Sonoran" hotdog.  The only two ingredients they get right are a hot dog and beans, the rest is either missing or plain wrong.  Tucson should sue for defamation of character.

I've had guys do that to me, it's kind of cute. But I've also had guys looking at me and when I've noticed them looking they smile, wave and start talking to me. Women do it too though.  I was at Walmart with my brother and this girl was giving him the wolf look. Then she looked at me and scowled. She kept giving me stink eye so I actually said something to her. I told her she could turn off the stink eye and that Tyler was my brother so if she wanted to hook up with him to go right ahead. She was obviously staring at him and giving me nasty looks but as soon as I said that she walked away in a hurry. People are so weird. Lol
Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: Faith on February 09, 2018, 06:37:02 PM
I agree with the 'not noticing' situation. I'm pretty clueless. Over the years my wife would comment on the women checking me out. I never noticed and I never really believed her. Are the tables turning (guys instead of gals) and I'm still clueless? probably, I'm hopeless :P

I never considered myself good looking or desirable as a guy, don't think so as a gal either.
Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: ChrissyRyan on February 09, 2018, 06:40:00 PM
Quote from: Julia1996 on February 09, 2018, 06:23:36 PM
I've had guys do that to me, it's kind of cute. But I've also had guys looking at me and when I've noticed them looking they smile, wave and start talking to me. Women do it too though.  I was at Walmart with my brother and this girl was giving him the wolf look. Then she looked at me and scowled. She kept giving me stink eye so I actually said something to her. I told her she could turn off the stink eye and that Tyler was my brother so if she wanted to hook up with him to go right ahead. She was obviously staring at him and giving me nasty looks but as soon as I said that she walked away in a hurry. People are so weird. Lol


Julia,

I never gave much thought that women give the "wolf look" to men, or to women.  Interesting, that is.  I guess I am "clueless."

Chrissy
Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: Allison S on February 09, 2018, 06:40:42 PM


Quote from: Faith on February 09, 2018, 06:37:02 PM
I agree with the 'not noticing' situation. I'm pretty clueless. Over the years my wife would comment on the women checking me out. I never noticed and I never really believed her. Are the tables turning (guys instead of gals) and I'm still clueless? probably, I'm hopeless [emoji14]

I never considered myself good looking or desirable as a guy, don't think so as a gal either.

"You got it!" that saying applies to you. now just embrace it [emoji2][emoji4]

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: Colleen_definitely on February 09, 2018, 06:42:38 PM
Quote from: Julia1996 on February 09, 2018, 06:23:36 PM
I've had guys do that to me, it's kind of cute. But I've also had guys looking at me and when I've noticed them looking they smile, wave and start talking to me. Women do it too though.  I was at Walmart with my brother and this girl was giving him the wolf look. Then she looked at me and scowled. She kept giving me stink eye so I actually said something to her. I told her she could turn off the stink eye and that Tyler was my brother so if she wanted to hook up with him to go right ahead. She was obviously staring at him and giving me nasty looks but as soon as I said that she walked away in a hurry. People are so weird. Lol

Lol, the competitive spirit is fierce sometimes.
Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: Allison S on February 09, 2018, 06:50:30 PM
What's the wolf look? If they're hot I'll give them my lioness look [emoji78]

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: krobinson103 on February 09, 2018, 07:03:12 PM
I had a guy go further than that. He said "I like that ass..." It was quite obvious what he wanted. I suggested He might not like what he found on further examination and that got rid of that.
Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: ChrissyRyan on February 09, 2018, 07:14:51 PM
Quote from: krobinson103 on February 09, 2018, 07:03:12 PM
I had a guy go further than that. He said "I like that ass..." It was quite obvious what he wanted. I suggested He might not like what he found on further examination and that got rid of that.

Haha Haha   You go girl!   Good reply to him.

Chrissy
Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: Julia1996 on February 09, 2018, 07:16:46 PM
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on February 09, 2018, 06:40:00 PM

Julia,

I never gave much thought that women give the "wolf look" to men, or to women.  Interesting, that is.  I guess I am "clueless."

Chrissy

I hadn't thought about women doing the wolf look either until I saw it a few times. The first time I saw it was when one of my friends was at my house.  My brother was mowing the lawn and he came inside to get a drink and he had his shirt off. The look she gave him was every bit as wolf like as any guy ever had. I couldn't really believe she was lusting out over my brother. Tyler? Really?? Geez, try having SOME standards at least.  Lol
Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: Allison S on February 09, 2018, 07:24:51 PM


Quote from: Julia1996 on February 09, 2018, 07:16:46 PM
I hadn't thought about women doing the wolf look either until I saw it a few times. The first time I saw it was when one of my friends was at my house.  My brother was mowing the lawn and he came inside to get a drink and he had his shirt off. The look she gave him was every bit as wolf like as any guy ever had. I couldn't really believe she was lusting out over my brother. Tyler? Really?? Geez, try having SOME standards at least.  Lol

Picture of your brother shirtless or it didn't happen lol

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: Julia1996 on February 09, 2018, 07:26:07 PM
Quote from: krobinson103 on February 09, 2018, 07:03:12 PM
I had a guy go further than that. He said "I like that ass..." It was quite obvious what he wanted. I suggested He might not like what he found on further examination and that got rid of that.

I've had guys act like pigs a couple of times. Once I was at the mall and this complete tool started showing off in front of his friends. When I totally ignored him he stepped in front of me and told me not to be so uptight. Then he said what I needed was a man. I told him to please let me know if he found one. His friends laughed and that cooled him down. I've also had guys call me a " stuck up bitch" before when I've ignored their boneheaded attempts attempts at flirting with me.  I hate to age profile but every guy that's said piggy stuff to me or acted like a tool has been 3-4 years of my age range. I've never had an older guy act that way. Usually they just smile and say hi.
Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: Christy Lee on February 09, 2018, 07:29:48 PM
Im pretty clueless, ive had a couple of looks from women as a guy,thought is she just smiling at me or checking me out, it felt like maybe the latter

Still as a guy, Ive had a guy hit on me recently thought i was a girl, i def could tell he was checking me out, but then there were a couple of them talking about how said guy had misgendered me (they were all being pigs basically)
Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: ChrissyRyan on February 09, 2018, 07:34:15 PM
Quote from: Julia1996 on February 09, 2018, 07:26:07 PM
I've had guys act like pigs a couple of times. Once I was at the mall and this complete tool started showing off in front of his friends. When I totally ignored him he stepped in front of me and told me not to be so uptight. Then he said what I needed was a man. I told him to please let me know if he found one. His friends laughed and that cooled him down. I've also had guys call me a " stuck up bitch" before when I've ignored their boneheaded attempts attempts at flirting with me.  I hate to age profile but every guy that's said piggy stuff to me or acted like a tool has been 3-4 years of my age range. I've never had an older guy act that way. Usually they just smile and say hi.


That was a good response, it cooled him down as it was a well-chosen, well-timed zinger.

Chrissy
Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: ChrissyRyan on February 09, 2018, 07:48:25 PM
Quote from: Julia1996 on February 09, 2018, 07:16:46 PM
I hadn't thought about women doing the wolf look either until I saw it a few times. The first time I saw it was when one of my friends was at my house.  My brother was mowing the lawn and he came inside to get a drink and he had his shirt off. The look she gave him was every bit as wolf like as any guy ever had. I couldn't really believe she was lusting out over my brother. Tyler? Really?? Geez, try having SOME standards at least.  Lol


You mentioned that your brother Tyler was given the wolf look by women in WalMart and at your house.  Perhaps he has a mystery power over some women that you are not fully aware of!

Chrissy



Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: Julia1996 on February 09, 2018, 08:01:44 PM
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on February 09, 2018, 07:48:25 PM

You mentioned that your brother Tyler was given the wolf look by women in WalMart and at your house.  Perhaps he has a mystery power over some women that you are not fully aware of!

Chrissy

Hmmm well if dorkyness is a mystery power then maybe.
Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: ChrissyRyan on February 09, 2018, 08:15:42 PM
Quote from: Julia1996 on February 09, 2018, 08:01:44 PM
Hmmm well if dorkyness is a mystery power then maybe.


Ah, I see your point.  It is far better to be a geek, or a nerd, than to be a dork.  For sure.
Of course, it is better to be a newbie instead of a noob.

What could be worse?  Maybe being a dorky noob.

Chrissy
Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: Sarah_P on February 10, 2018, 11:44:57 AM
I just remembered something a former co-worker mentioned to me. Apparently a few years back there was a female patron that was 'unabashedly and almost desperately' flirting with me. I never had a clue! Then again, I was an depressed lump of a human being back then, so I have no idea why she would have been interested, anyway.
Title: Re: Getting checked out, how do you know?
Post by: Faith on February 10, 2018, 04:01:16 PM
I suspect that being born clueless doesn't change with treatment. good thing I'm in a relationship already