In my HRT thread (link below) I recorded my thoughts and experiences as I travelled through that part of my transition.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=226510.0 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=226510.0)
I spent a long time deciding if and what route to take regarding any GRS. Recent medical issues have helped me reach a decision that, at this time, I intend to proceed with a full vaginoplasty.
I am still some way off from any surgery. In April I have an appointment with the CX GIC to get the first of my two required letters. A second letter, referal, any hair removal and completion of a full year both in RLE (May) and on HRT (July) still remain as points to pass before any surgery.
I'll use this thread to capture any relevant thoughts and experiences as I journey through this next part of my transition.
Stay tuned!
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
I'm tuned and ready to hear about your journey.
Jayne
Quote from: Jayne01 on February 24, 2018, 09:51:10 AM
I'm tuned and ready to hear about your journey.
Jayne
Tnx hun, it's gonna be a slow burner, lol.
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Hi Megan,
You know I'll be reading your posts.
Hugs,
Laurie
I'm watching from the other side of the pond!
- Stephanie
Good luck.
Megan,
I look forward to hearing your story. In hindsight I am glad I went with full depth vaginoplasty. I seem to get more pleasurable feeling from that area. It was a good decision for me. I wish you well and pull for things to go smoothly.
Moni
Still no specific news, but I'm getting increasingly nervous, anxious and excited about my upcoming GIC appointment.
GRS was not something I focused heavily on earlier in my transition, my social transition and HRT being the items that rightly demanded my attention.
I've surprised myself by how important GRS is to me now. I still maintain that if for any reason it was not an option for me, I could live out my days quite happily. But having now set my mind to it, I just want it done, so I can get past it and move on with living my life.
As I shared on my previous HRT thread, one of the factors in deciding on GRS at this point in my life rather than possibly an orchi and full GRS later, was the urethral strictures I'm suffering from. I will shortly be starting my dilation routine (yes Pre-GRS [emoji853]), to help maintain my OEM equipment until it becomes surplus to requirements. This will involve self-catheterising myself every other day on an ongoing basis, something I'm keen to avoid doing for any longer than I have to.
Stay tuned for updates! [emoji4]
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Quotedilation routine (yes Pre-GRS ), to help maintain my OEM equipment until it becomes surplus to requirements. This will involve self-catheterising myself every other day on an ongoing basis, something I'm keen to avoid doing for any longer than I have to.
Why is that necessary? I do it because of BPH, but I didn't think it needed for GRS.
Quote from: AnneK on March 30, 2018, 06:13:32 AM
Why is that necessary? I do it because of BPH, but I didn't think it needed for GRS.
It's not needed for GRS.
I had two corrective surgeries and a related infection as an infant (I was born with intermediate hypospadia) that resulted in significant scaring to my urethra. This scaring as a result of age/time (and maybe my HRT?) has narrowed (strictures) to the point that it is now causing discomfort, problems with urine flow and last year a few episodes of haematospermia.
To prevent a complete blockage of my urethra I need to start dilation to maintain use and prevent further complications.
The only long-term fix for the strictures is a full reconstructive surgery of my urethra from a cheek graft; but this is obviously not worth doing if I intend to pursue vaginoplasty.
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Part of my approach in all major decisions, and all along my transition has been to take a critical view of my own motivations and reasons. Today a wise person challenged me on these motivations (be-Devlyed me?) , and forced me to go back and see if the numbers still added up to the same total, let's call it an audit!
It was an exercise that required me to revisit some quite emotional items on my ledger, but I'm glad to say that all the books looked in order. [emoji4]
I'm satisfied that my reasons and motivations are (as far as I'm concerned) the right ones.
If i were approaching GRS (or any major irreversible decision) and did not have both concerns and second thoughts, I would be extremely concerned. I have them, but I can justify/answer all of them, this feels right.
This is all a bit abstract right now, but as physical as GRS is, its fair to say that the mental/emotional impact will be greater.
Megan. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
That is a very wise approach you have taken, Megan. It seems like a good idea to periodically check that the "books are in order", as you put it. I find myself in a similar situation now, not specifically with GRS but transitioning in general. Concerns and doubts keep entering my mind, but I am able to justify each of those concerns. I suspect my doubts originate from fear of entering unchartered waters. At the end of the day, my conclusion is that I am doing the right thing.
I am happy that this feels right for you and you know you are on the right path, as scary as it may be. I have no doubt that you will take on whatever challenge faces you with strength and a very mature mindset.
Jayne
Wow! What a day. For the UK girls familiar with the GIC this may sound all too familiar...
So today I travelled the two+ hours to the CX GIC in London. This appointment was made last May, and was meant to be the first of the two 'signature' appointments required for GRS referral. As such this has been a key date in my calendar for some time, and my anxiety has been building as it has approached.
Last month I received another appointment letter, for July, but as it did not mention a cancellation of today's appointment, I assumed (they never explain) that that would be for my second signature.
Well I took the day off work, payed my railfare, and travelled into and across London in the rain. I got to the clinic reception to be told that today's appointment had in fact been cancelled, and that the July one was meant to replace it [emoji853]. Last minute or unnotified cancellations are a common problem with the GIC.
The reception staff were apologetic, sympathetic and also grateful for the huge box of chocolates I'd brought for the clinic staff. They asked me to wait and see if I could fill one of the other spots if someone else didn't turn up, and luckily, after a good wait, I got to see a clinician [emoji16]
The appointment went well, was pretty much what I expected, and I got my first signature for GRS!
The good news is that my July appointment still stands, so I have managed to avoid a 3 month delay in my journey, that would have happened had they informed me of the cancellation.
I now have to research and choose which of the three NHS GRS surgeons I will want for my surgery by my next appointment. And separately also have a consult to establish if, what and how much genital hair removal I need to get done too.
All-in-all a very stressful, but ultimately very positive and productive day, I'm a happy girl. [emoji16]
Many tnx to my gorgeous Devlyn for soaking up my whining about this... Now I can start whining about the next one [emoji23]
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Congratulations! And very wise... it's quite possible that box of chocolates helped.
Big hug! It was a crazy day, that's for sure. All's well that ends well. :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Kendra on April 12, 2018, 12:01:53 PM
Congratulations! And very wise... it's quite possible that box of chocolates helped.
The combined power of guilt and chocolate is almost without equal!
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Brings me to my knees! :laugh:
Megan,
Congratulations and well done for the perseverance from another UK girl. I will follow your updates with interest as I have today started proper HRT through GenderGP as I start my formal transition.
Good luck with the journey.
Best Wishes
Nikki
xx
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on April 12, 2018, 12:26:12 PM
Brings me to my knees! [emoji23]
<orders a metric tonne of chocolate> [emoji16]
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Quote from: Megan. on April 12, 2018, 12:29:19 PM
<orders a metric tonne of chocolate> [emoji16]
And kneepads, I hope. :laugh:
Your cell is well padded, you know that. [emoji48]
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
For those interested, the choice I've been given for current NHS GRS surgeons are:
- James Bellringer (Parkside hospital)
- Tina Rashid (Charing Cross hospital)
- Phil Thomas (Nuffield Brighton)
I'll be researching all three and contacting them with questions over the next couple of months.
Obviously I've heard feedback (and rumors) about all three both on Susan's and other places, but I'll be reserving judgement and making my own decision on who is best for me personally.
I'd welcome suggestions for good/relevant questions to ask them [emoji5].
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Quote from: nikkiannukts on April 12, 2018, 12:28:29 PM
Megan,
Congratulations and well done for the perseverance from another UK girl. I will follow your updates with interest as I have today started proper HRT through GenderGP as I start my formal transition.
Good luck with the journey.
Best Wishes
Nikki
xx
Nikki congrats on the HRT, I found it a very positive experience. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Yeah Megan.!! So happy for you getting to convince them to see you today. What a big step forward! Congratulations and I keep my fingers crossed for you!
oh great. keep us posted who you will decide on and all. ive decided on tina rashid so its just waiting now :)
Quick update: on the 5th June I have an appointment with the lead Nurse who manages Dr Bellringer's patients, but who has a great understanding across the UK GRS landscape.
The main purpose is for guidance on genital hair removal, but this should be a good opportunity to get a very well experienced view on my best options or choices for surgery, and which surgeon might work best for me.
I'll update back here after. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Hi Megan,
That's good news. You should hopefully have several questions answered during this appointment. Keep us updated on how it goes.
Best wishes,
Jayne
Update: I've just finished a consultation with the lovley consultant nurse Iffy Middleton at the Parkside Putney clinic.
We talked over several things, and she examined me to see what my best GRS options would be, and what hair removal I might need.
As I suspected, I don't have enough material for a straightforward penile inversion, and the surgeon will need to use scrotal skin to form a vaginal canal of a practical size. This means that I will require electrolysis to clear the area for surgery.
We also talked about surgeons available and their differences. As everyone is different I'm not going to detail the why's and wherefores, but I have a preffered surgeon in mind, which I will share later if/when that stage comes.
We also talked about cosmetic vs full depth vaginoplasty. At this point I'm leaning very heavily towards the full option, but still mulling things over in that space.
I'll be pushing on with my electro as quick as practical, and I'll share that experience here. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Hi Megan,
For some reason I have not looked at this thread as your running journal. I have therefore not kept up with it. Sorry.
I have started to think along the lines of possibly having GCS myself. I have not done any research as yet but am think of Joining Kaiser Permanente since they have a good transgender program. I believe I have decided to have the full depth operation rather than the cosmetic. It probably makes no logical sense at my age but I think it is important to me.
When and if I might have it done I have no idea. That would be too much like planning.
I think having GCS is of more importance to the younger folk like you than an old broad like me. Whatever you chose may it bring you happiness.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on June 05, 2018, 07:01:05 PM
Hi Megan,
For some reason I have not looked at this thread as your running journal. I have therefore not kept up with it. Sorry.
I have started to think along the lines of possibly having GCS myself. I have not done any research as yet but am think of Joining Kaiser Permanente since they have a good transgender program. I believe I have decided to have the full depth operation rather than the cosmetic. It probably makes no logical sense at my age but I think it is important to me.
When and if I might have it done I have no idea. That would be too much like planning.
I think having GCS is of more importance to the younger folk like you than an old broad like me. Whatever you chose may it bring you happiness.
Hugs,
Laurie
No need to apologise you silly girl! [emoji3]
I post in my HRT and GRS observation threads in the hope it might be of use to someone else travelling this path in future.
I was given a picture of the area that must be cleared of hair with electrolysis, but last night I created a reusable template from that.
I'm intending to order some skin-safe pens, so my electro lady and I can clearly see where to work and our progress. Despite being keen to get the surgery, I'd rather take longer over the hair removal to minimise the risk of issues with that later; the frank but educational posts of others here with hair problems have been useful.
Megan. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
maybe youre lucky like me and you wont need many sessions. electrolosis defo got rid of so much allrrady . laser did a few tricks too. but not as good as electro. i have 5 more sessions left of electro and 2 more laser 😊
I'm now facing an interesting decision. My second GRS referal appointment is in mid-july.
I need to have 10-12 months of genital hair removal to have a full vaginoplasty which would mean surgery summer '19.
But I could elect to have a cosmetic GRS, this would not require hair removal. The timings I was given suggest that I could have that surgery around this October time, sooner, and avoiding the 'pleasure' [emoji853] of hair removal.
My own personal pros/cons are:
Full GRS - PROS
* potential opportunity to experience vaginal penetrative sex.
* potential feeling of being a more 'complete' woman (I appreciate this is very subjective, and I currently do not feel this way).
Full GRS - CONS
* Months of genital hair removal
* No surgery until mid-2019
* Surgical risk of bowel perforation/fistula
* Risk of hair in the vagina (even with removal)
* Long recovery
* Dilation ongoing for life (though much easier after the first few months)
Cosmetic GRS - PROS
* No hair removal
* Surgery sooner (late-2018)
* Fewer surgical risks
* Faster recovery (still major)
* No dilation
Cosmetic GRS - CONS
* No chance to experience vaginal penetration.
* potential feeling of being a less 'complete' woman.
For both options, they will resolve my current urethral stricture issues, and also give me my preferred external appearance.
Weighing up the above, and given I've never felt any specific need to experience vaginal penetration, it would seem to suggest that a cosmetic procedure would be a better option, personally, for me.
I'm continuing to think through these, and I'm currently uncertain which choice I will make.
I'm thinking of trying a single session of hair removal to see how unpleasant (or not) that is, and also how quickly my electro tech thinks they can clear the required area.
I'll post future thoughts and experiences here. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Hi Megan,
This is a major decision you have to make and only you can make it. I won't offer my opinion because that would only be applicable to me. Thank you for posting your pros and cons, it gives me a few things to think about if/when I decide on GCS.
I have had a few sessions of electrolysis down below to see how it feels. Some areas are quite tolerable, others made me hit the ceiling. I have pretty good pain tolerance when doing my face, but down below I have a piece of foam (like a stress ball) that I squeeze to death as I hold my breath when she zaps those sensitive areas. Everyone is different. Give it a try, you might like it! [emoji12]
I wish you well with your decision making process. You are clearly giving this the necessary thought to find what is right for you.
Hugs,
Jayne
Quote from: Jayne01 on June 07, 2018, 06:54:22 PM
Hi Megan,
This is a major decision you have to make and only you can make it. I won't offer my opinion because that would only be applicable to me. Thank you for posting your pros and cons, it gives me a few things to think about if/when I decide on GCS.
I have had a few sessions of electrolysis down below to see how it feels. Some areas are quite tolerable, others made me hit the ceiling. I have pretty good pain tolerance when doing my face, but down below I have a piece of foam (like a stress ball) that I squeeze to death as I hold my breath when she zaps those sensitive areas. Everyone is different. Give it a try, you might like it! [emoji12]
I wish you well with your decision making process. You are clearly giving this the necessary thought to find what is right for you.
Hugs,
Jayne
Tnx hun, though I'm fairly certain I won't like it! [emoji23]
There is no 'right' decision (each has pros and cons) in this. Just getting myself to a place that, whatever my choice, I'm happy with it, and can live with that decision. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Hi Megan
I understand your dilemma...I am due to have mine in Nov and that exact question is the most difficult part for me. You make some pertinent points and I understand each of them...I have another 2 months before I speak to the surgeon to make a final decision. I am currently swaying towards cosmetic version...I think lol [emoji23]...I might make my mind up someday...I hope you can too take care
Liz
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote from: ElizabethK on June 12, 2018, 09:26:56 AM
Hi Megan
I understand your dilemma...I am due to have mine in Nov and that exact question is the most difficult part for me. You make some pertinent points and I understand each of them...I have another 2 months before I speak to the surgeon to make a final decision. I am currently swaying towards cosmetic version...I think lol [emoji23]...I might make my mind up someday...I hope you can too take care
Liz
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Tnx Liz [emoji5]. It's one of those horrible 'instinct' choices that I'm almost incapable of making; but good luck with yours! X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
isnt it better if youre not sure..... but you really want a vagina to go for full ?
as im not sure ...but you cant change it to full afterwards can you ?
id be worried i regret my choice . even if im not a very sexual person. for example. you might meet someone you want to be sexual with ? just an example.
but whatever you choose . i hope you will be super happy hun xxx
I don't doubt that if I only had cosmetic, then I would always be curious about how it could have been, but for me personally, I think I could live with that, in exchange for skipping hair removal, dilation and getting it done sooner.
I don't agree with the "If you've got to lose a toe, you may as well take off the whole leg" argument [emoji3]. This is major surgery, I want what gives me what I want with the lowest risk, easiest recovery, and lowest ongoing maintenance.
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Also, without being too explicit, there are other options for penetration.
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
I was pleasantly surprised after GRS that it really strengthened my identity as female. Its been wonderful. Yes, dilating is a pain and a big time drain, and there certainly was plenty of pain, but I'm oh so happy feeling complete!.
Quote from: Gail20 on June 21, 2018, 02:08:11 PM
I was pleasantly surprised after GRS that it really strengthened my identity as female. Its been wonderful. Yes, dilating is a pain and a big time drain, and there certainly was plenty of pain, but I'm oh so happy feeling complete!.
I'm still undecided. I've got an initial genital electro session booked in mid-July, I'll see how bareable (or not) that is.
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Update: I'm not the biggest fan of the CX GIC, their administration fowl ups are legendary, but for once I'm a happy customer....
I just received the letter from my last appointment 9 weeks after the event (9 weeks!!! WTF). But... Finally... Three and a half years since first contacting my bewildered GP I have an official diagnosis of F64.0 transsexualism.
It seems that after 12 months RLE, almost the same on HRT, 4 assessments/appointments, and coming out to the world and their dog, they've stuck their collective necks out and suggested that, yes, I might be trans* [emoji23]
This was by far the most well written and detailed letter I've ever received from the GIC, and the consultant who I saw did a thorough and quality job. I won't mention their name here, but I'll be providing some good feedback at my next appointment.
I'm still pondering the full/cosmetic dilemma. That is all [emoji5]. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Quote from: Megan. on June 22, 2018, 11:54:12 AM
It seems that after 12 months RLE, almost the same on HRT, 4 assessments/appointments, and coming out to the world and their dog, they've stuck their collective necks out and suggested that, yes, I might be trans* [emoji23]
I'm glad they were all able to tell you what you already knew! [emoji23]
Class of F64.9 here. :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Jayne01 on June 22, 2018, 12:11:30 PM
I'm glad they were all able to tell you what you already knew! [emoji23]
Aren't we lucky we have these highly trained professionals to help us! [emoji23]
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Quote from: Devlyn on June 22, 2018, 12:12:20 PM
Class of F64.9 here. :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Look at you, lording your 0.9 over me!
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Quote from: Megan. on June 22, 2018, 01:47:44 PM
Aren't we lucky we have these highly trained professionals to help us! [emoji23]
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
I may joke about it now, but there was a time when I was seeking exactly such a diagnosis from a "trained professional". Little did I know that
I was the one who knows best whether I am trans or not.
Quote from: Jayne01 on June 22, 2018, 01:54:22 PM
I may joke about it now, but there was a time when I was seeking exactly such a diagnosis from a "trained professional". Little did I know that I was the one who knows best whether I am trans or not.
I've always had a vain hope that it might change my mum's feelings about me (the only family member to reject me - a career mental health professional), though I strongly suspect not.
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Quote from: Megan. on June 22, 2018, 02:03:33 PM
I've always had a vain hope that it might change my mum's feelings about me (the only family member to reject me - a career mental health professional), though I strongly suspect not.
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
I'm sorry your Mum is not accepting. Hopefully this may help her come around. I suspect my father might not be satisfied without an "expert" diagnosis. Time will tell.
Quote from: Jayne01 on June 22, 2018, 02:16:30 PM
I'm sorry your Mum is not accepting. Hopefully this may help her come around. I suspect my father might not be satisfied without an "expert" diagnosis. Time will tell.
Tnx hun, I hope your father comes to accept you too. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
The dilemma continues...full surgery or cosmetic?
My understanding is that you cannot have a "depth correction" surgery if you change your mind after having the cosemetic version....I like the idea of going to hospital and being ejected 3 weeks later completely healed no dilation but a fully functioning vagina....I would also like the nobel peace prize and several million dollars[emoji23]...
Seriously though I am leaning towards full depth surgery and it is mainly because I do not want to take the risk of being unhappy because I don't have a functional vagina(not that I am ever likely to use it) and my understanding from many of the girls who have already had surgery, that dilation is a small price to pay for the happiness that goes with being functional..
I hope things turn around with your Mum. I know from firsthand experience how painful that is...I have been through a grieving process for my mum and my brother....its weird grieving for people who are still alive.
As painful as it is we need to move on from it...I wonder if they ever realise just how much pain they cause. Sometimes I wonder!!
Good luck with your decision...I still have about 2 months to make up my mind...
Take care
Liz
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Hi Megan, I've been following your posts and I know it can be a difficult decision. What ever path you choose will be right.
Quote from: Megan. on June 22, 2018, 11:54:12 AM
I just received the letter from my last appointment 9 weeks after the event (9 weeks!!! WTF). But... Finally... Three and a half years since first contacting my bewildered GP I have an official diagnosis of F64.0 transsexualism.
Well this is certainly a load off your mind!
Judi
Quote from: JudiBlueEyes on June 22, 2018, 09:46:39 PM
Hi Megan, I've been following your posts and I know it can be a difficult decision. What ever path you choose will be right.
Well this is certainly a load off your mind!
Judi
Tnx Judi. It's only a tiny piece of the big puzzle, but nice to have [emoji4]
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Congrats Megan,
So far I haven't needed any letters but then I've done nothing towards GCS yet. Yes I am thinking about it though entertaining the idea so to speak.
Hugs,
Laurie
As wonderful as the Susan's community is, there's always the risk (of being in any group), that the individual can get caught up in the flow and just go along with the majority. I've always been mindful that there is a 'script' for transition, that often ends with full GRS, a perfectly valid choice.
I've tried as much as possible, on every step of my journey to make the choice that's right and best for ME.
We are all unique, and so is the journey we take through life.
@ElizabethK good luck with your decision, whatever you choose [emoji5].
@Laurie I think if you're happy that your motivations are sound, then whatever the choice, it'll serve you well. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
I've not seen many posts relating specifically to genital electrolysis...
I'm currently sat in a cafe ahead of my first session.
I've shaved/clipped all hair back to just 1-2mm; smothered the whole area liberally with Emla cream and wrapped it all in clingfilm/ceran wrap.
I'm wearing a light summer skirt and light cotton underwear.
As I've written previously, I'm still undecided if I want full or cosmetic vaginoplasty. In my case the electrolysis is only required for full, but I'm using this first session as another piece in my decision making on whether I'll carry on with it, or decide that cosmetic is enough for me.
I'll post again later to share my experience.
I've been and am feeling very anxious about this, from others comments here and from elsewhere, I'm bracing myself for a very unpleasant experience [emoji853].
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
I wish you minimal pain Megan. From my own experience, although unpleasant, I can handle most parts. But then there are some spots that make me want to scream while clinging to the ceiling. I have a piece of foam, kind of like a stress ball, which I hold on to and divert all my concentration to squeezing that foam to death. The good news is that the area does not require anywhere near as much treatment as the face, so much less total time being tortured.
Hugs,
Jayne
Quote from: Jayne01 on July 17, 2018, 02:42:43 AM
I wish you minimal pain Megan. From my own experience, although unpleasant, I can handle most parts. But then there are some spots that make me want to scream while clinging to the ceiling. I have a piece of foam, kind of like a stress ball, which I hold on to and divert all my concentration to squeezing that foam to death. The good news is that the area does not require anywhere near as much treatment as the face, so much less total time being tortured.
Hugs,
Jayne
Tnx hun! [emoji51][emoji23]. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Hi Megan
I hope it goes well. I could not find anyone to do genital electrolysis for me so I have had to use laser alone. When I told my surgeon he said to do what I could and he does do a follicle scrape. He also said if I was having just the labiaplasty rather than vaginoplasty (depth) I would not require any hair removal. I have no choice but to trust he will remove the hair the laser misses.
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Tnx Liz, does this mean you've made a final choice on your surgery option?
My session was OK, not as bad as I'd feared it would be. My tech used 'fast blend', and took a little while at the start of the session to find an effective setting for her machine. As well as the Emla, I'd taken my usual dose of Paracetamol and Ibuprofen an hour beforehand.
Like Jayne shared, some parts were quite mild (2/10) but others were really quite bad (7/10), and I'd just just grip the bed and grit my teeth to get through them. She focused mostly around the base of the shaft this time, with the area at the top being more sensitive than beneath for me.
I'm in the office now about an hour and a half after the session. No specific discomfort aside some warmth and the occasional sharp pain which I guess is the nerves complaining about the abuse! Lol
I've booked another session, so I'll continue for now. The 'manageability' of this is tilting me back towards a full-depth vaginoplasty.
Please PM me if you have any more specific questions on this subject. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
You got through it! If you managed one you will get through them all.
I think like a lot of things the fear is worse than the experience but I don't want to sugar-coat and say it's easy - it ain't. I never did the saran-wrap thing or EMLA/Lidocaine on the south pole forest ahead of time. Maybe I should have because the pain caused me to sweat so much I started bringing my own beach towel to those sessions unlike all the electrolysis on face and elsewhere.
Electrologist probably thinks I am insane and I probably am... a couple times the pain was so ridiculous I started giggling uncontrollably. Really did. I can't explain it.
Quote from: Kendra on July 17, 2018, 06:32:22 AM
Electrologist probably thinks I am insane and I probably am... a couple times the pain was so ridiculous I started giggling uncontrollably. Really did. I can't explain it.
I can relate, I found myself chuckling through much of it and almost laughing at some points. There are stages in this whole transition process that verge on surreal, this is certainly one!
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Additional word of warning...
During the electro session I had to hold my penis out of the way of the tech. It was all numbed up from the Emla and it appears from the subsequent bruising I had it in a firm grip! You have been warned [emoji23]
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Quote from: Megan. on July 17, 2018, 05:06:38 AM
... Liz, does this mean you've made a final choice on your surgery option?
Hi Megan great to hear you made it through your session and very bravely from what you describe. At least there is not the same volume as facial.
I wish I could say yes but the best I have at the moment is....I think so...I am at this stage, looking at a Vaginoplasty but some days the idea of dilation and the commitment that is involved scares me...not to the point that I won't go ahead but it still scares me.
Quote from: Megan. on July 17, 2018, 06:19:37 PM
Additional word of warning...
During the electro session I had to hold my penis out of the way of the tech. It was all numbed up from the Emla and it appears from the subsequent bruising I had it in a firm grip! You have been warned [emoji23]
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
I didn't use any cream for laser but I understand the position you are talking about...I didn't giggle but I have been known to squeal a little when it really hurts but more often it just elicited a few high pitched ouches and few fairly guttural ones as well. I can only guess at how unpleasant genital electrolysis really is I do know that laser is certainly not much fun either. Thanks for the update
Liz
A short while ago I had my most recent appointment at the CX GIC. This was to get my second signature and referral for GRS...
It went great, the consultant was very friendly and a student voice therapist was in the room also, just observing.
The consultant seemed very happy that I'd given everything lots of thought. I'm STILL undecided on full/cosmetic, so I continue to ponder that...
So I've been referred!... Onto the next waiting queue! [emoji4]
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
After a laser session downstairs I immediately went to a place that did electro under sedation. I have a pretty high pain tolerance but I couldn't handle that.
I'm not aware of anywhere in the UK that will sedate, or certainly not nhs funded, but I'm glad you had that choice [emoji4]
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on July 18, 2018, 08:11:09 AM
After a laser session downstairs I immediately went to a place that did electro under sedation. I have a pretty high pain tolerance but I couldn't handle that.
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
My insurance didn't cover it either. I just got to experience the pain in the financial sense.
Quote from: ElizabethK on July 18, 2018, 01:38:51 AM
I wish I could say yes but the best I have at the moment is....I think so...I am at this stage, looking at a Vaginoplasty but some days the idea of dilation and the commitment that is involved scares me...not to the point that I won't go ahead but it still scares me.
Liz
Hi Liz and Megan,
I will add my two cents and my experience post surgery. I tend to think dilation isn't so bad. Yeah it is intense to start with and gets old cleaning the dilators but it becomes less frequent over time. I will offer as a consideration that getting the vagina offers a second place for sexual pleasure if that is important to you. In my case, the vagina is much more pleasurable than the clitoral area. I am very glad to have the two options. Just because you aren't gonna be with a guy, doesn't mean you can't get pleasure from that area. Something to think about I think because there is no guarantee of a sensitive clitoris. Hope you are doing well.
Moni
Good points Moni, thank you.
I guess dilation has a bad reputation, and I'm sure it is bad at the start, but like you say, it can become very manageable over time.
There is a third option for pleasure too, but that's all I'll say.
Megan. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Hi Megan,
Just thought I'd drop in and see how you were doing. Congrats on the southern session for fur eradication. Of course I have not experienced the joy of same on the southern quarter. I've heard it isn't as bad as the facial bee stings (of which I had a 2 hour session today) And reading here I saw some say it was no fun at all. Nothing to laugh at though if apparently hit some of you folk's funny bones ;D ;D ;D
I may need to consider have some exposure to the area idea. I have just enrolled in the Kaiser Permanente HMO in order to avail myself to their transgender program for services I do not have access through the Veteran's Administration. What I have done is opened the door to those services should I decide I need them.
I have a problem with opening door that I do not know what is on the other side. I have a tendency to walk through them to find out. That first scarey door was going to the court and applying for my name change. I thought I could still change my mind then however when I received mail from them it turned out to be a done deal and just look where that door led to. I am Laurie now and more and more name and gender changes are occurring all the time. Birth certificate, driver's licence and passport and others all done.
Now I've opened this door and am about to step through... Who knows what it may lead me to? Not I.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on July 18, 2018, 08:11:09 AM
After a laser session downstairs I immediately went to a place that did electro under sedation. I have a pretty high pain tolerance but I couldn't handle that.
Collen your a girl after my own heart. I am kind of lucky in that I have no choice about the Electrolysis as ther4e just isn't a practitioner who will do genital electrolysis here in Adelaide. Having said that if there had been I don't know how I would have coped...Having the opportunity to do it under sedation would work for me as well.
Quote from: HappyMoni on July 18, 2018, 08:46:04 AM
Hi Liz and Megan,
I will add my two cents and my experience post surgery. I tend to think dilation isn't so bad. Yeah it is intense to start with and gets old cleaning the dilators but it becomes less frequent over time. I will offer as a consideration that getting the vagina offers a second place for sexual pleasure if that is important to you. In my case, the vagina is much more pleasurable than the clitoral area. I am very glad to have the two options. Just because you aren't gonna be with a guy, doesn't mean you can't get pleasure from that area. Something to think about I think because there is no guarantee of a sensitive clitoris. Hope you are doing well.
Moni
Its funny you should say that Moni when I spoke to my surgeon he said the chances are very high you will have sensation on your clitoris and he went onto say that I would still be able to gain pleasure vaginally due to the position of the prostate If in the worse case scenario the nerves to the clitoris were damaged you would still be able to obtain sexual pleasure from your vagina. So I have to then think about GCS in terms of sexual pleasure which is something I have not really given a great deal of thought too...I have considered GCS from many different angles in quest to make a decision but I have to be honest, sexual pleasure has only been a small part in the whole equation. I guess because I was trying to decide if I was having surgery or not. As the time ticks on I understand I will need to make that final decision at some point. I need to consider sexual pleasure as part of my decision as to which surgery to have.
You make a good point and worth spending some time considering.
@Laurie You have to start somewhere and you have done that much...now you get to choose what you want. ;)
Take care
Liz
I've been doing alot of reflecting over the last 24/48 hrs after my first electro session and my subsequent GRS referral...
I've decided that while from a purely practical standpoint a cosmetic GRS would meet my primary requirements, I want and am prepared to commit to a full depth GRS. This is based on my needs and wants from any intimate relationship and my own emotional identity; and these are both very personal and individual things.
That will mean the long and unpleasant slog of genital hair removal, pushing surgery back about 12 months to next Autumn/Winter. I will move this as fast as possible, but with follicle cycle times, there are practical limits.
In making this choice I've had to reset my own expectations on when I might 'finish' my medical transition, and that's been hard after what has already been more than three years at this point. I've had to ask myself if I have the mental strength to keep on the road, and I think I do [emoji5].
This choice also extends the period over which I have to continue my urethral dilation, though that is now a simple 10-minute task every other day, with very little discomfort or fuss.
This thread will be pretty quiet for a while without much else to cover, but I'll update on my electro progress and add any points of note.
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Megan,
I'm glad to hear you made a decision. Being undecided can be very unsettling. There are no guarantees, but I think you will be happy that you put forth the effort to get what you want. At some point, you get done with transition. I think it best to be able to look back and be happy with what you did and not second guess the rest of your life. Good luck!
Moni
Tnx Moni [emoji846].
It's funny how before I was only capable of making decisions based on logic, but I'm now able to make the leap and step beyond those arguments, to ones based on my emotional response. Of all the changes I've been through in the last few years, this is perhaps the biggest and most profound for me. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Quote from: Megan. on July 20, 2018, 01:04:25 AM
Tnx Moni [emoji846].
It's funny how before I was only capable of making decisions based on logic, but I'm now able to make the leap and step beyond those arguments, to ones based on my emotional response. Of all the changes I've been through in the last few years, this is perhaps the biggest and most profound for me. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Who wants a life based totally on logic? Then again, emotions can kick you butt sometimes. They have me running around this week like a hamster on a hamster wheel. Glad for all your progress. Most of my body adjustments are now done. I am finding there is still a good bit of work to do relaxing as Moni with other people. Do you think this will ever end?
Moni
Quote from: HappyMoni on July 20, 2018, 02:57:27 PM
Who wants a life based totally on logic? Then again, emotions can kick you butt sometimes. They have me running around this week like a hamster on a hamster wheel. Glad for all your progress. Most of my body adjustments are now done. I am finding there is still a good bit of work to do relaxing as Moni with other people. Do you think this will ever end?
Moni
It won't end, and I don't mean that in a negative way.
Life presents us with a landscape of opportunities for us to develop and grow. Some of these are hard to endure, others are pure pleasure, but they are all relevant and help us grow in depth and understanding.
I went to a wedding recently, there was a particular group of women having a wonderful time, but I didn't quite feel ready to join in the fun. Neither was I keen on chatting with the men, so I found myself in a bit of limbo. I think in time I'll be with those women laughing and bonding, but I'm not there yet, and that's all part of the journey [emoji4]
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Megan,
I have taken my transition in little steps like climbing the ladder to the high dive. I took my time, enjoyed the view on each step, but now it is time to dive into the pool. Sorry terrible analogy! I think, after this boob surgery, it is time to say it is the end of my transition and the beginning of living life post transition. It is a mental shift. It is finding the confidence to know that you belong in that group of ladies at that wedding. It is still a process, but I think it comes more from a place of "I deserve to be here as a woman" rather than, "I am trying to fit in as a woman." Does that make sense and slap me if I have commandeered your thread. Sorry, we were talking your GCS! lol
Moni
Megan, I am glad you were able to resolve the type of GCS you need. Time will fly by quicker than you think.
I had 6 sessions of genital hair clearing. Where I went they used a spinal needle to deliver the numbing agent. It was 4 or 5 minutes of intense pain but then I was numb for the remainder of the session. I was incredibly happy when the Pac was done administering the last needle on the 6th session. I have no hair in my vagina.
It has been 1.5 years since I had GCS and on August 6th I go back there for the same numbing treatment for a 4 hour face electrolysis treatment. My desire to get the hair off my face exceeds my dislike of the needle pain. I have over 250 hours of facial electrolysis without medical numbing. I think going there and getting a full face treatment monthly will kill the follicles once and for all.
Restrict caffeine usage the day of the electrolysis. I try to think good thoughts. If there is a TV close by concentrate on the program during the treatment. Smiling can reduce the effects of the pain, emotional and physical.
Quote from: HappyMoni on July 20, 2018, 03:53:51 PM
Megan,
I have taken my transition in little steps like climbing the ladder to the high dive. I took my time, enjoyed the view on each step, but now it is time to dive into the pool. Sorry terrible analogy! I think, after this boob surgery, it is time to say it is the end of my transition and the beginning of living life post transition. It is a mental shift. It is finding the confidence to know that you belong in that group of ladies at that wedding. It is still a process, but I think it comes more from a place of "I deserve to be here as a woman" rather than, "I am trying to fit in as a woman." Does that make sense and slap me if I have commandeered your thread. Sorry, we were talking your GCS! lol
Moni
Moni, these are important things to discuss, GRS on its own without considering its impact on the larger picture is just another medical procedure. Get diving in girl, the water looks very tempting, I'm sure I won't be far behind! X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Quote from: Rachel on July 20, 2018, 08:42:22 PM
Megan, I am glad you were able to resolve the type of GCS you need. Time will fly by quicker than you think.
I had 6 sessions of genital hair clearing. Where I went they used a spinal needle to deliver the numbing agent. It was 4 or 5 minutes of intense pain but then I was numb for the remainder of the session. I was incredibly happy when the Pac was done administering the last needle on the 6th session. I have no hair in my vagina.
It has been 1.5 years since I had GCS and on August 6th I go back there for the same numbing treatment for a 4 hour face electrolysis treatment. My desire to get the hair off my face exceeds my dislike of the needle pain. I have over 250 hours of facial electrolysis without medical numbing. I think going there and getting a full face treatment monthly will kill the follicles once and for all.
Restrict caffeine usage the day of the electrolysis. I try to think good thoughts. If there is a TV close by concentrate on the program during the treatment. Smiling can reduce the effects of the pain, emotional and physical.
Rachel, I'm glad you're hair-free down there [emoji5]. I'd rather take longer now and deal with the pain to ensure I don't have hair later.
As unpleasant as it, it's bearable for me, so I'll just get through it as quick as I can. The NHS will fund an initial 20hrs for genital removal, which I'm hoping should be enough. I'll have the tech rotate areas so we can run as often as possible. As soon as I'm done, I'll be able to get my GRS about 3 months after that.
I use paracetamol, ibuprofen, hydrate well and liberal amounts of Emla (with Ceran wrap) [emoji4]
Hugs, Megan. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Quote from: Megan. on July 19, 2018, 09:10:18 AM
I've decided that while from a purely practical standpoint a cosmetic GRS would meet my primary requirements, I want and am prepared to commit to a full depth GRS. This is based on my needs and wants from any intimate relationship and my own emotional identity; and these are both very personal and individual things.
That will mean the long and unpleasant slog of genital hair removal, pushing surgery back about 12 months to next Autumn/Winter. I will move this as fast as possible, but with follicle cycle times, there are practical limits.
Glad to hear you have made you decision about GRS. I understand your decision and can see much of my own thought process happening there. I like the way you put it talking about your own emotional identity. This is about you feeling good in your own body. The delay whilst a necessary pain will just give you more time to prepare and be even more healthy for the "event".
Quote from: Megan. on July 19, 2018, 09:10:18 AM
...... I've had to ask myself if I have the mental strength to keep on the road, and I think I do [emoji5].
You have done so well and have had some really hard knocks along your journey and I admire your courage to stand up and back your own ability. With a positive attitude like that how can you go wrong!
Congratulations on making such a positive decision for yourself.
Liz
Hi Megan,
I recommend you read the stages of hair growth and plan to attack the hair follicle to maximize the killing of the follicle. What I found is that every 6 weeks is optimal to catch the hair growth cycle.
I was booked for 4 hours the first three sessions. I only needed 1.5 hours the first session and I think 1 hour the second and 45 down to 30 minutes on subsequent clearings. I had very little hair down there. Point being I recommend booking sessions to kill the follicles and not over or under book sessions.
Papillion used thermolysis. I was numb and they turned the power up high and moved quickly.
Good luck on your hair removal.
Good advice Rachel. My first session was just 30mins. The next is booked for an hour.
The GIC advised me that 3 weeks was a good cycle for genital hair, but obviously the tech can rotate around areas, at least at the start while the density is still good.
The biggest problem is actually booking time with my tech. It's hard to find ones who do genital removal, finding time in their diary is hard!
I will push this as fast as I can... [emoji5]
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Update: Had my second genital electro session today. I'd booked for a one hour session, but after 40mins my tech suggested they spend the last 20mins doing face (which still needs a little work) as I was getting quite red downstairs.
As usual I took paracetamol and ibuprofen beforehand and used emla cream with cling wrap.
Pain varied greatly. Areas around the base of the shaft where a good 8/10 [emoji853], but the scrotum was far more comfortable, with some spots barely noticeable 1-2/10. My tech commented that I didn't have too much hair, which was certainly good news to hear!
There is generally very little discomfort after for me. It's not fun at the time, but I'm finding it very manageable overall.
It was interesting comparing the sensation between genital and face in a single session. My tech uses thermolysis on my face but fast blend downstairs, the difference is very noticeable.
X.
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Quote from: Megan. on August 08, 2018, 02:27:27 PM
Update: Had my second genital electro session today. I'd booked for a one hour session, but after 40mins my tech suggested they spend the last 20mins doing face (which still needs a little work) as I was getting quite red downstairs.
As usual I took paracetamol and ibuprofen beforehand and used emla cream with cling wrap.
Pain varied greatly. Areas around the base of the shaft where a good 8/10 [emoji853], but the scrotum was far more comfortable, with some spots barely noticeable 1-2/10. My tech commented that I didn't have too much hair, which was certainly good news to hear!
There is generally very little discomfort after for me. It's not fun at the time, but I'm finding it very manageable overall.
It was interesting comparing the sensation between genital and face in a single session. My tech uses thermolysis on my face but fast blend downstairs, the difference is very noticeable.
X.
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Hi Megan
Glad to hear you are tolerating the hair removal well. I have been having laser session and they certainly have me white knuckled. Can't get it done here in Adelaide there is not a technician in this whole dam state that will do it. How many session will you need to clear the area? I know its not long by facial standards but more than enough I would have thought! Which technique do you get less pain with? or are they fairly similar?
Take care
Quote from: LizK on August 09, 2018, 09:20:29 PM
Hi Megan
Glad to hear you are tolerating the hair removal well. I have been having laser session and they certainly have me white knuckled. Can't get it done here in Adelaide there is not a technician in this whole dam state that will do it. How many session will you need to clear the area? I know its not long by facial standards but more than enough I would have thought! Which technique do you get less pain with? or are they fairly similar?
Take care
Sry to hear about the lack of electro where you live, I do hope you don't have issues down the road with any regrowth.
In the UK the NHS will fund an initial 20 hours, and if required will also fund an additional 20. I'm hoping I'll be closer to the 10 hours mark as I don't have vast amounts of hair.
The NHS gender nurse said I only needed removal on the scrotum (so it can be used to line the neovagina), but my tech has had other clients who'd been told to have hair around the base of the shaft also removed, we agreed to do both.
Pain-wise, some parts of the genital region are really bad. I'm through the worst with my face, so what's left really isn't too bad. Both areas are highly variable, so it's hard to say if one is any worse or better than the other.
Good luck with your laser. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Thanks Megan
The regrowth concerns me, My guy will do a follicle scrape on the skin he uses and I will have a further 2 laser session prior to the surgery naming for a total of 10...its pretty sparse down there ::) :laugh:. There is nothing I can do about it anyway , I just do not have the funds for the additional expensive travel costs if I could even find someone that it would work with.
My Dr gave me a drawing to give to my Laser Tech...he was no overly bothered whether I have laser or Electrolysis and seems fairly confident about his technique although I think I would have more confidence if I was able to have Electrolysis. It is after all the gold standard in permanent hair removal!!
Take care
Liz
Well if there is a follicle scrape too you should be fine. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Update: got home from work today, a letter on my doorstep containing my official GRS referral request to Parkside hospital in London with the two required signatures [emoji4]. While unable to specify, at this time I have formally requested that Dr Bellringer perform my surgery.
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Big hug! Things are really coming together, for you, and for us. :) :-*
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn on August 30, 2018, 04:18:49 PM
Big hug! Things are really coming together, for you, and for us. :) :-*
Hugs, Devlyn
Tnx [emoji4][emoji8]
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Quote from: Megan. on August 30, 2018, 04:13:32 PM
Update: got home from work today, a letter on my doorstep containing my official GRS referral request to Parkside hospital in London with the two required signatures [emoji4]. While unable to specify, at this time I have formally requested that Dr Bellringer perform my surgery.
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Wow Congrats to you Megan, How exciting for you....is it likely to be a long wait for the surgery? I hope not as I know how difficult that can be. It must be such a relief to finally have them. Hope the wait is short.
Take care
Liz
Quote from: LizK on August 31, 2018, 09:12:34 AM
Wow Congrats to you Megan, How exciting for you....is it likely to be a long wait for the surgery? I hope not as I know how difficult that can be. It must be such a relief to finally have them. Hope the wait is short.
Take care
Liz
If I didn't need electro, it would be 2-3 months, but with my electro ([emoji853]), it'll be next spring/summer. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Thats why i started before my consultation so id be good to go.
But it will come quick. Plus you can save money for when ur off work. Im under a tiny tad of pressure, i had 7 weeks from consultation to surgery only 10 weeks. And niw 4 weeks left :(
Is there nobody out that way who does bulk electrolysis under anesthesia like we have here in the colonies?
It's a lot faster, but most importantly it's not agonizing.
Think thats in Belgium nearest place, i had 5 sessions went every week each session 30 min. That was enough. Im not to hair thou, you might be done quicker megan
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on August 31, 2018, 12:12:05 PM
Is there nobody out that way who does bulk electrolysis under anesthesia like we have here in the colonies?
It's a lot faster, but most importantly it's not agonizing.
There may a place in London that does local, but no general. However, the NHS won't cover that cost, and I cant take the time off of work to do that. This way it's 1hr/month, which will take 10 months, but is pretty easy, and I walk out after still feeling comfortable. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Quote from: isa86 on August 31, 2018, 11:50:31 AM
Thats why i started before my consultation so id be good to go.
But it will come quick. Plus you can save money for when ur off work. Im under a tiny tad of pressure, i had 7 weeks from consultation to surgery only 10 weeks. And niw 4 weeks left :(
I'll have had 4hrs done before my consult, but I know they'll be more to do.
I'm in a lucky position that my company illness leave policy will cover the full recovery (unless there are serious complications), so I'll just be sat (gently) on the sofa hitting Netflix hard [emoji23]
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Quote from: Megan. on August 30, 2018, 04:13:32 PM
Update: got home from work today, a letter on my doorstep containing my official GRS referral request to Parkside hospital in London with the two required signatures [emoji4]. While unable to specify, at this time I have formally requested that Dr Bellringer perform my surgery.
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Congratulations Megan! This is excellent news, so happy for you. When you get an actual date for your surgery, you will have to start a countdown clock as our dear Liz has
BWCA. That way all your followers can look forward to the big day with you. [emoji2]
Hugs,
Jayne
Quote from: Megan. on August 31, 2018, 12:46:53 PM
I'll have had 4hrs done before my consult, but I know they'll be more to do.
I'm in a lucky position that my company illness leave policy will cover the full recovery (unless there are serious complications), so I'll just be sat (gently) on the sofa hitting Netflix hard [emoji23]
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
I will be doing the same, netflix and sleep and netflix and sleep hahaha
Update: Two things today - completed another genital electro session. I never had much hair down there, so we seem to be making good progress despite shorter sessions. And, I've got my surgery consult booked for the end of September. I don't expect to learn much from it, beyond that I need to finish my electro before I can proceed further, but it will be good to finally speak with the surgeon and talk about options.
Tick tock tick tock :)
Hi Megan,
I'm hoping you get more than a nice chat with the surgeon. Perhaps a date set, that would be nice wouldn't it?
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on September 06, 2018, 11:23:42 PM
Hi Megan,
I'm hoping you get more than a nice chat with the surgeon. Perhaps a date set, that would be nice wouldn't it?
Hugs,
Laurie
Sadly a date won't get set until I've completed the (ongoing) hair removal. Wait times are currently minimal however, so it should only be 6-8 weeks from getting a green light to the actual slice n' dice.
In the UK currently, GRS procedures are contracted out to private hospitals. They are required to meet 18week windows of completion from receipt of referral, unless of course hair removal is required. This does mean that once you get referred by the GIC, if you are otherwise healthy and fit for surgery, it can move quite quickly!
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Hi Megan,
I hope the appointment with the Dr goes well at the end of the month and you come away with answers to all your questions.
It sounds like things will start moving very quickly for you once you are finished with electrolysis. How long do you estimate before you are finished with electro?
Hugs,
Jayne
Quote from: Jayne01 on September 07, 2018, 10:18:42 PM
Hi Megan,
I hope the appointment with the Dr goes well at the end of the month and you come away with answers to all your questions.
It sounds like things will start moving very quickly for you once you are finished with electrolysis. How long do you estimate before you are finished with electro?
Hugs,
Jayne
Tnx Jayne, considering I first contacted my GP for a referral to the GIC in Jan'15 it's taken a while so far! [emoji23]
My electro tech isn't willing to give a time estimate, but they did comment that it's already quite sparse down there. They've had other clients who've had their GRS with several of the major NHS surgeons. They commented,
and I'm interested to know opinions on this, that it's not the case that every hair needs to go, just about getting to a low density that will prevent any 'matting' inside the neo vagina. I'd rather take longer and be more thorough at this stage though, than rush and have problems down the road that will be very difficult to rectify. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Quote from: Megan. on September 06, 2018, 04:50:33 PM
Update: Two things today - completed another genital electro session. I never had much hair down there, so we seem to be making good progress despite shorter sessions. And, I've got my surgery consult booked for the end of September. I don't expect to learn much from it, beyond that I need to finish my electro before I can proceed further, but it will be good to finally speak with the surgeon and talk about options.
Hi Megan
I think I have finally found someone to do my genital electrolysis...GULP....how bad is it? I am lucky I don't have a great deal to contend with...but still...are you having a particular area done or "everything"
Thanks
Liz
Liz,
I'm using Emla (with clingwrap) an hour before the session along with paracetamol and ibuprofen. Pain varies alot more than face. For me, some parts (midline scrotum) are almost totally painless, others are extremely painful, and I just grip the bed for the few seconds of pain. It is NOT as bad as I thought it would be, I have no worries about going to my regular sessions.
I was advised by my surgeons nurse specialist to get the area indicated at this linked cleared:
http://genderxchange.com/styled-6/index.html
But at the suggestion of my electro tech I'm also doing the base of the shaft, as this form the entrance of the neo vagina (if I understand correctly) and I'd want that to be smooth also.
I'm seeing the surgeon for the initial consult on 28-Sep, so it'll be interesting get their views.
I've had 1.5 hours so far, and have another 30 min session tomorrow morning. These are quite short compared to some on the site here, but it seems to be going well.
Good luck. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Thanks for that Meagan...The diagram is pretty much what I was given with a special note to saying the entire shaft including the bottom 2 cm and a Diagonal piece of the scrotum
https://imgur.com/RnGLmn6 this is the diagram I was given which correlates pretty well with what you have.
I was reading through the materiel again before posting it here and it says the surgeon wants no further laser treatment at least 4 weeks out from Surgery so I would guess this probably applies Electrolysis (will confirm on thurday when I speak to him) so that leaves me about 4 weeks to finish the what laser didn't get...If my surgeon thinks its worthwhile then I will do it....its not like they are starting from scratch...I did a self examination tonight and some hair trimming whilst I was there and you can certainly see where the laser has been....I might have 1 or 2 hairs about 1/3 the way up and quite a bit more at the base but then a large section of the scrotal tissue is bare due to laser....I will have to see .
Thanks so much for sharing the info with me it was very helpful
Quote from: LizK on September 17, 2018, 05:04:43 AM
Thanks for that Meagan...The diagram is pretty much what I was given with a special note to saying the entire shaft including the bottom 2 cm and a Diagonal piece of the scrotum
https://imgur.com/RnGLmn6 this is the diagram I was given which correlates pretty well with what you have.
I was reading through the materiel again before posting it here and it says the surgeon wants no further laser treatment at least 4 weeks out from Surgery so I would guess this probably applies Electrolysis (will confirm on thurday when I speak to him) so that leaves me about 4 weeks to finish the what laser didn't get...If my surgeon thinks its worthwhile then I will do it....its not like they are starting from scratch...I did a self examination tonight and some hair trimming whilst I was there and you can certainly see where the laser has been....I might have 1 or 2 hairs about 1/3 the way up and quite a bit more at the base but then a large section of the scrotal tissue is bare due to laser....I will have to see .
Thanks so much for sharing the info with me it was very helpful
Ur welcome, and tnx for the diagram you've shared too.
I suspect the 4 week gap between removal and surgery is regardless of method, but please share back what you find out.
Hair post surgery and dilation are (understandably) my two biggest concerns about the full depth route. I'm still not fully set on my surgery choice (full or cosmetic), but until then I'll keep going with the removal so I have the choice. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Quote from: Megan. on September 17, 2018, 01:11:41 PM
Ur welcome, and tnx for the diagram you've shared too.
I suspect the 4 week gap between removal and surgery is regardless of method, but please share back what you find out.
Hair post surgery and dilation are (understandably) my two biggest concerns about the full depth route. I'm still not fully set on my surgery choice (full or cosmetic), but until then I'll keep going with the removal so I have the choice. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
I am really concerned as well but there is not a whole lot I can do about it. I have been hunting for someone to even do it for over 18 months, I have an appointment today for genital electrolysis assessment and it was quite by chance I even found these people although I have a recollection I have called this company before and they have declined..I see them this morning and we they will no boubet give me an assessement.
Your thoughts on which surgery are similar to mine...I have my last pre surgical consult on Thursday and I suspect he will want to know which procedure he is performing... ;)
Will let you know what he says...
Take care
Liz
It's that bad, however it is worth it to get the genital electro done. I haven't had any hair inside my vagina as a result of having it done. I'm super pleased in that regard. The gap is to ensure that the skin has a chance to heal from the last session before surgery. Hugs
Mariah
Had a really bad electro session this morning, was meant to last 30mins, but I had to end it five minutes early as I was starting to experience early stages of shock. I don't think I did a good job with the Emla, and was also perhaps a bit dehydrated. It's also a very mental thing, if I can get my head in the right place, it's much easier.
Times like this make me really doubt if I should continue the hair removal as I'm still very unsure about the cosmetic/full-depth surgery choice.
Next time I'll apply more Emla and further in advance (2hrs not 1), and do a second application too. Hopefully that'll make things bareable. The area around the base of the shaft is certainly the most sensitive/painful, the scrotum actually being very comfortable in comparison. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Hi Meagan
Thanks for the update and it sucks when these proceedures don't go as we plan.
I had a couple from the base zapped yesterday as a"tryout" for further treatments...I certainly didn't do the time you did but I can empathise with you...I am booked to try and do a complete clearance tomorrow..
I understand your dilema over which surgery...it doesn't help when tring to find the motivation to do this kind of treatment.
I was thinking about our discussion and trying to think how I am going to physically put this emla cream on. I found that with my face if I gave it 1 1/2 hrs and applied it thick enough, I would get about 15 minutes effective numbing so I would do 4 small sections. I am trying to work out a way to do this in sections...as best I can work out I may be able to do it in two sections...sctrotal and penile base....then I have to somehow get in a car and drive 30 minutes.....I may have to do some experimenting today....
How did you "secure" your Emla? I was thinking cling wraping each area seperately...? Don't really know just guessing at this stage..
Take care
Liz
Megan, sorry to hear you had a rough electrology session - I had a few that were really difficult to handle and brought a beach towel to my last few sessions. The pain level caused me to sweat so much I disintegrated the disposable paper on the bed/table. Keep thinking about the long term benefits. Try to let your mind wander and think about other things when you're there. You are almost through it, your next one will be better.
Sorry to hear about your last session Megan. Your a strong lady and you can get through it. As you are aware a lot of the time it is a state of mind. Stay strong x
Sent from my SM-A520F using Tapatalk
Megan, I am really sorry you had that experience. I have found that paying any attention to the process leads to my focusing on and anticipating each insertion and zap, which makes things much worse.
Now what I do is a form of mindful meditation. I pay attention to my breathing. Breath in. Hold 5 seconds, counting in my head. Breathe out through pursed lips. Hold a second. Repeat. I focus on the pressure of the chair supporting me, holding me.
I also listen to music. Calm, rythmic music works best. My worst session was when my electrolyst had loud, jarring music playing, which made it hard to get into that meditative state. We agreed not to use that music any more! Focusing on the music can also help, much like the breathing meditation.
Liz, for electrolysis at the South Pole I put on a coat of EMLA and the plastic wrap, in several pieces for each area to be worked, about an hour before treatment. That was a 40 minute drive with everything wrapped up.
Quote from: Megan. on September 18, 2018, 06:01:02 PM
Had a really bad electro session this morning, was meant to last 30mins, but I had to end it five minutes early as I was starting to experience early stages of shock.
What are the symptoms of shock?
Quote from: LizK on September 18, 2018, 07:00:43 PM
Hi Meagan
Thanks for the update and it sucks when these proceedures don't go as we plan.
I had a couple from the base zapped yesterday as a"tryout" for further treatments...I certainly didn't do the time you did but I can empathise with you...I am booked to try and do a complete clearance tomorrow..
I understand your dilema over which surgery...it doesn't help when tring to find the motivation to do this kind of treatment.
I was thinking about our discussion and trying to think how I am going to physically put this emla cream on. I found that with my face if I gave it 1 1/2 hrs and applied it thick enough, I would get about 15 minutes effective numbing so I would do 4 small sections. I am trying to work out a way to do this in sections...as best I can work out I may be able to do it in two sections...sctrotal and penile base....then I have to somehow get in a car and drive 30 minutes.....I may have to do some experimenting today....
How did you "secure" your Emla? I was thinking cling wraping each area seperately...? Don't really know just guessing at this stage..
Take care
Liz
Liz, I wrap myself in clingfilm to keep the Emla in place and put knickers over the top while I drive the 30mins to the electrolysist, and peel it off just before the session. I can't say it's a pleasant experience!
Next time I will apply one lot 2 hours before, then another application 1 hour before, giving it time to penetrate through the skin.
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Quote from: AnonyMs on September 19, 2018, 12:52:29 PM
What are the symptoms of shock?
For me, tingly lips, my face cramps, abdominal spasms, shaking, emotional panic... Loads of fun [emoji23]
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Quote from: Michelle_P on September 19, 2018, 11:30:01 AM
Megan, I am really sorry you had that experience. I have found that paying any attention to the process leads to my focusing on and anticipating each insertion and zap, which makes things much worse.
Now what I do is a form of mindful meditation. I pay attention to my breathing. Breath in. Hold 5 seconds, counting in my head. Breathe out through pursed lips. Hold a second. Repeat. I focus on the pressure of the chair supporting me, holding me.
I also listen to music. Calm, rythmic music works best. My worst session was when my electrolyst had loud, jarring music playing, which made it hard to get into that meditative state. We agreed not to use that music any more! Focusing on the music can also help, much like the breathing meditation.
Liz, for electrolysis at the South Pole I put on a coat of EMLA and the plastic wrap, in several pieces for each area to be worked, about an hour before treatment. That was a 40 minute drive with everything wrapped up.
Michelle, I totally agree, often I can get my head in that place, but sometimes I can't, and as you say, just get more and more anxious waiting for the next zap.
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Update: Today I had my initial GRS consultation with the surgeon (Mr Bellringer) at the Parkside Putney clinic in London.
It was only a 15 minute appointment. This gave enough time for him to take a look at the current 'material' I have for him to work with, assess where I am in my hair removal process, discuss surgical options and for me to ask questions.
He asked if i wanted a full vaginoplasty, but I said I was still undecided between a vaginoplasty and vulvaplasty (cosmetic) GRS. They gave me two information packs (one for each option) to take away.
I asked about likely depth of a vaginoplasty given the material I have and he estimated that 5 inches would be possible. As I'd be happy with anything over 4, I was satisfied with this.
I asked if my current and historical health issues with my genitalia would be a problem. As I'm quite small with a narrow urethra he commented that he would need to modify his technique somewhat making a full vaginoplasty more complex with a slight increase in risk of complication.
Regarding hair removal, he said that the hair on the shaft and around the base of my penis does not need removing in my case. This is good news, as this is the most painful/sensitive area in my electrolysis, and also reduces the area (and time) that needs clearing - just the scrotum.
Asking about timelines he said that about 6-8 weeks for either a vulvaplasty or the same, on completion of hair removal, should be planned for.
The wonderful Devlyn was with me all along - so thank you to her for the wonderful support.
As I've convered on this thread, I've swayed between full vaginoplasty and a cosmetic vulvaplasty.
I'm still finding it difficult to square the extra risk and substantially harder recovery of a vaginoplasty against having a full vagina - which is not something I personally absolutely need.
For now I'll continue with hair removal and see if my feelings solidify on the surgery choice.
Megan. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
My second pre-surgical consult. :)
Quote from: Devlyn on September 28, 2018, 04:10:23 PM
My second pre-surgical consult. :)
Gotta catch 'em all!
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
I'm glad your appointment went well Megan. It was good that Devlyn was there to support you.
Hopefully you got all your questions answered even so, it is hard deciding on the best option. I know I keep changing my mind about whether to go full or cosmetic [emoji848]
Rach x
Sent from my SM-A520F using Tapatalk
Did I read that right your date could be 6 - 8 weeks away? That would be pretty quick. You have somme thinking and work to do then.
Good luck, Hun.
Quote from: Laurie on September 28, 2018, 11:56:48 PM
Did I read that right your date could be 6 - 8 weeks away? That would be pretty quick. You have somme thinking and work to do then.
Good luck, Hun.
Tnx Laurie.
To clarify, no date has been set at this time. It would be 6-8 weeks from when I contact them either saying I've completed hair removal or that I've chosen vulvaplasty and that I'm ready to be booked in. Family life and other things mean that I certainly won't be contacting them this side of Christmas. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Update: just back from my my latest electro session. It was chalk and cheese compared to the bad experience I had last time; probably the best and most comfortable session of electro I've ever had (face or genital).
I modified my prep. routine applying a thick coat of Emla 90 minutes before the session, wrapping with clingfilm and taking my usual dose of ibuprofen and paracetamol.
After 30 mins I reapplied another coat of Emla and re-wrapped.
Discomfort during the session maybe peaked at 3/10 in a couple of places but barely hit 1/10 the rest of the time.
Thank you to my wonderful Devlyn for keeping me away from my beloved caffeine and strictly on water before the session [emoji4].
X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Aw, shucks...all I did was drink it all before you could get any! >:-) :laugh:
Quote from: Megan. on October 08, 2018, 12:47:27 PM
Update: just back from my my latest electro session. It was chalk and cheese compared to the bad experience I had last time; probably the best and most comfortable session of electro I've ever had (face or genital).
I modified my prep. routine applying a thick coat of Emla 90 minutes before the session, wrapping with clingfilm and taking my usual dose of ibuprofen and paracetamol.
After 30 mins I reapplied another coat of Emla and re-wrapped.
Discomfort during the session maybe peaked at 3/10 in a couple of places but barely hit 1/10 the rest of the time.
Thank you to my wonderful Devlyn for keeping me away from my beloved caffeine and strictly on water before the session [emoji4].
X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
That's great Meagan, you gotta love it when a plan works out. Really good to see you had a much better experience, do you have much more to do or will you be in a position to call your surgeon soon :)...I was like you expecting it to be hell but I prepped similarly to you and have to say that apart from maybe 1/2 doz times I was at a very comfortable level, considering...good prep makes all the difference...don't forget to moisturise regularly(except on the day)...hydrated skin makes for less pain...that's what my Electrologist said to me the last time I saw her.
Glad your Dr GCS appointment went so well.
Take care
Liz
Quote from: LizK on October 09, 2018, 01:25:51 AM
That's great Meagan, you gotta love it when a plan works out. Really good to see you had a much better experience, do you have much more to do...
Unsure. My electrolysist does quite short 30min sessions, and finding time in her diary is hard. I've had 2.5hrs so far, and reckon I'll need another 5 or so before I'll be rdy for surgery. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Update: For those with what may be an infinite amount of patience in waiting for me to make up my darn mind, you're about to be rewarded.
Even though I've been continuing with my genital hair removal, I've remained unsure about my surgery choice (vaginoplasty or vulvaplasty).
So... I've finally come down on one side of the fence, and I've chosen to have cosmetic GRS. I've covered over the pros and cons earlier in this thread, so I won't rehash them in this post.
In short, this choice is right for ME and my life, and reflects how I feel about and relate with my body. It doesn't make me any more or less female or trans*.
This afternoon I contacted Parkside hospital and confirmed my choice. I can now stop my bottom hair removal and be scheduled for surgery ASAP. Next step will be a final consult with the surgeon (Mr Bellringer), then I guess, set a date!
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
At least all the late night talks are over with. ;D
You know I was going to support you no matter what you decided. :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn on December 05, 2018, 01:31:41 PM
At least all the late night talks are over with. ;D
You know I was going to support you no matter what you decided. :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Not really, I'm sure I can just change subject [emoji16]. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Megan I understand how difficult the decision is. Congratulations on getting there.
Onwards and upwards
Take care
Liz
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote from: LizK on December 05, 2018, 01:54:01 PM
Megan I understand how difficult the decision is. Congratulations on getting there.
Onwards and upwards
Take care
Liz
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Tnx Liz, I know you also thought heavily on this one. We all find the answers that are right for us [emoji6]
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Hooray - Congratulations on your decision!
I bet that's a big relief, and now many things are easier to schedule.
Congratulations on coming to a decision Megan! I hope you are able to obtain a date not to far in the future!
Quote from: Megan. on December 05, 2018, 12:45:57 PM
So... I've finally come down on one side of the fence, and I've chosen to have cosmetic GRS. I've covered over the pros and cons earlier in this thread, so I won't rehash them in this post.
I am on this mission to correct what is mistaken terminology that seems to be specific to Susan's. A partial, or zero depth, or modified vaginoplasty is not a cosmetic vaginoplasty. A cosmetic vaginoplasty only can refer and does in fact do so in the medical world, to a CIS woman who is having cosmetic surgery on the vagina she was born with. GRS is not cosmetic surgery in any way, shape or form. Cosmetic surgery refers to enhancing the appearance of an existing structure, like a rhinoplasty is cosmetic surgery. GRS MTF is certainly not enhancing an existing structure, it is radical plastic surgery that completely transforms the genitals from male to female.
I do have a vested interest in using the correct terminology. :) I am having what my surgeon calls a "modified vaginoplasty" next week. :)
Quote from: Dorit on December 06, 2018, 01:18:11 AM
I am on this mission to correct what is mistaken terminology that seems to be specific to Susan's. A partial, or zero depth, or modified vaginoplasty is not a cosmetic vaginoplasty. A cosmetic vaginoplasty only can refer and does in fact do so in the medical world, to a CIS woman who is having cosmetic surgery on the vagina she was born with. GRS is not cosmetic surgery in any way, shape or form. Cosmetic surgery refers to enhancing the appearance of an existing structure, like a rhinoplasty is cosmetic surgery. GRS MTF is certainly not enhancing an existing structure, it is radical plastic surgery that completely transforms the genitals from male to female.
I do have a vested interest in using the correct terminology. :) I am having what my surgeon calls a "modified vaginoplasty" next week. :)
If you read my entire thread (and it's predecessor - HRT Observations), you will see that I was born Hypospadia and had minimal puberty (intersex), and as such my sexual organs were never 100% 'male'; in this respect, I consider this surgery a cosmetic change to the appearance of my genitalia. After previous cosmetic changes were made when I was an infant.
I use the term vulvaplasty (as used by my surgeon) and 'cosmetic' interchangeably to maximise the value and benefit the information I share here can have for the community.
Different surgeons around the world and throughout history have used many terms to label both us and their medical procedures. There is no standard.
The purpose of this thread is NOT to argue or agree on these, just as it is not the place to argue if a glass is half full or half empty. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
The term used here in Australia with my surgeon and the hospital I am in is reconstructive surgery. I have no doubt there are other descriptions and I am not sure there is even a "one description fits all" solution . I would suggest it varies from country to country and maybe even hospital to hospital.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote from: Dorit on December 06, 2018, 01:18:11 AM
I am on this mission to correct what is mistaken terminology that seems to be specific to Susan's. A partial, or zero depth, or modified vaginoplasty is not a cosmetic vaginoplasty. A cosmetic vaginoplasty only can refer and does in fact do so in the medical world, to a CIS woman who is having cosmetic surgery on the vagina she was born with. GRS is not cosmetic surgery in any way, shape or form. Cosmetic surgery refers to enhancing the appearance of an existing structure, like a rhinoplasty is cosmetic surgery. GRS MTF is certainly not enhancing an existing structure, it is radical plastic surgery that completely transforms the genitals from male to female.
I do have a vested interest in using the correct terminology. :) I am having what my surgeon calls a "modified vaginoplasty" next week. :)
May I suggest you start a separate thread, perhaps titled
"I am on this mission to correct what is mistaken terminology that seems to be specific to Susan's"
in order to bring attention to your cause, rather than piggybacking on Megan's topic? :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Megan dear, I profusely apologize. I had no idea you were intersex, I have not read all your posts being relatively new to the sight. Actually, I was thinking of adding that in the case of some intersex people, but certainly not all, the term cosmetic vaginoplasty would apply. Can you forgive me? I do intend to mention this same misuse of cosmetic vaginoplasty for GRS when I start a thread about my soon coming modified vaginoplasty.
Quote from: Dorit on December 06, 2018, 12:05:08 PM
Megan dear, I profusely apologize. I had no idea you were intersex, I have not read all your posts being relatively new to the sight. Actually, I was thinking of adding that in the case of some intersex people, but certainly not all, the term cosmetic vaginoplasty would apply. Can you forgive me? I do intend to mention this same misuse of cosmetic vaginoplasty for GRS when I start a thread about my soon coming modified vaginoplasty.
It's fine sweetie. Terminology is a minefield that I like to keep out of, especially if the mines keep moving!
Good luck with your surgery though, I'll try to follow your new thread when you start it. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Update: well the date is in the diary... My GRS is set for mid-May, just over 4 months from now.
I've (all but) given up caffeine since Christmas which is going well, and I'm getting my overweight arse back to the gym and slowly rebuilding my fitness so I can maximise my recovery down the road.
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Update: 8 weeks until my GRS, and I've been doing a lot of reflection on my decision. I wanted to share these thoughts so that others might have confidence that doubt or questioning is part of a healthy dialog we have with ourselves, to find the answer that is best for us.
There is unsurprisingly a tendency to focus on the physical at these times, but the thoughts and emotions that both lead up to such a moment and are born from it, are perhaps of greater significance in our lives.
There are certainly moments I have my doubts about my choice to both have any GRS, and also the cosmetic vulvaplasty that I have selected; but having revisited my journey up to this point, and my rationale, I am still satisfied it is the right choice.
Regardless of the outcome, I will surely have a different relationship with my body after the operation. I don't and never had much bottom dysphoria, and while I neither like or relate to my penis in the way most cis-gender men seem to, I don't despise it either. My choice, personal as it is for anyone, is one as much driven by practical consideration as it is by any emotional need.
Follow your own road, and you'll never get lost. X
Megan, I'm starting to think the reflection and questioning goes on forever. Once in a great while, now that I am 16 months post GCS, I still wake up, a hand down there and a sense of something wrong, a fleeting thought of "What did I DO?" It passes after a moment as I wake up, but it is a strange thing. Happened early this morning, in fact.
There's no dysphoria or regrets. Just an odd conflict between old memory and reality that hasn't quite resolved. It still makes for an odd sensation on waking.
Quote from: Michelle_P on March 16, 2019, 06:42:31 PM
Megan, I'm starting to think the reflection and questioning goes on forever. Once in a great while, now that I am 16 months post GCS, I still wake up, a hand down there and a sense of something wrong, a fleeting thought of "What did I DO?" It passes after a moment as I wake up, but it is a strange thing. Happened early this morning, in fact.
There's no dysphoria or regrets. Just an odd conflict between old memory and reality that hasn't quite resolved. It still makes for an odd sensation on waking.
Some reassuring words, thank you Michelle.
And you're right, like many of those big concious decisions we make in life, there will always be points when we'll wonder how things might have been; but that's life. :-)
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Quote from: Megan. on March 16, 2019, 04:45:54 PM
Update: 8 weeks until my GRS, and I've been doing a lot of reflection on my decision. I wanted to share these thoughts so that others might have confidence that doubt or questioning is part of a healthy dialog we have with ourselves, to find the answer that is best for us.
There is unsurprisingly a tendency to focus on the physical at these times, but the thoughts and emotions that both lead up to such a moment and are born from it, are perhaps of greater significance in our lives.
There are certainly moments I have my doubts about my choice to both have any GRS, and also the cosmetic vulvaplasty that I have selected; but having revisited my journey up to this point, and my rationale, I am still satisfied it is the right choice.
Regardless of the outcome, I will surely have a different relationship with my body after the operation. I don't and never had much bottom dysphoria, and while I neither like or relate to my penis in the way most cis-gender men seem to, I don't despise it either. My choice, personal as it is for anyone, is one as much driven by practical consideration as it is by any emotional need.
Follow your own road, and you'll never get lost. X
It is such a personal and difficult decision to make. Making it based on your own needs is paramount. I thinks doubts are a natural part of the process and there are a number of the women on this site that I spoke to when I had tied myself up in knots over it, who helped me understand a number of things. At the end of the day the reasons for or against the type of surgery you have are never wrong if they are the ones that meet your needs.
Not long now....8 weeks wooohooo!
Liz