My wife was looking thorough Facebook and someone she met through a game in her phone (like the Zynga games) that connect through Facebook share a horrible transphobic post making fun of Bruce Jenner (Trigger Warning, here is a post about it on
(http://www.
>-bleeped-<
Yesterday Sweetie asked if she could ask a question. I told her that of course she could. She asked if I had bought a bra. I told her yes, two sports bras as we had discussed I needed due to irritation. She seemed to take it well. Later I noticed her crying a little and she wouldn't tell me why. I don't know if it was the bras or the pain she's been in lately. I suspect the former. I hate giving her reason to cry, but what can I do?!
Perhaps this belongs in the other thread. I'm so down lately I can't tell.
One of my neighbors passed away today :'( It was bitter sweet as her family thanked me for my friendship and the many times I had helped her, it was sad to see her go but relieving that her long suffering with a painful condition had ended
Per usual I maintained my brave face and asked if I could help in any way, then went home and cried my eyes out
My insomnia is back & I haven't slept for 3 days, it's not quite making me happy but i've passed into the silly phase of being tired where the slightest thing makes me smirk & giggle
Quote from: Jayne on April 28, 2015, 11:42:17 PM
My insomnia is back & I haven't slept for 3 days, it's not quite making me happy but i've passed into the silly phase of being tired where the slightest thing makes me smirk & giggle
Try Nytol and Valerian tablets.You can get Nytol at any chemist and Valerian is at Home Bargains for £1.50 or a bit more at Holland & Barretts
Quote from: big kim on April 29, 2015, 01:30:20 AM
Try Nytol and Valerian tablets.You can get Nytol at any chemist and Valerian is at Home Bargains for £1.50 or a bit more at Holland & Barretts
Thanks for the suggestion but i'm waiting for a prescription of my anti-itch pills which contain a sedative, there's been a communication problem between my surgery & my dermatologist. It's left me without any for a week. The insomnia is being caused by my eczema flaring up & itching constantly, it's just bearable when i'm doing stuff but when i'm trying to sleep and have nothing to occupy my mind it's impossible to sleep, I keep starting to doze off & suddenly get jolted awake by the feeling that i've got bugs crawling all over me
I broke off all forms of communication with my oldest sister before August last year. She dealt with my transition far worse than anyone I care about including my youngest sister, who's husband wants to stone all the gays. I unblocked her on facebook a month or two ago and have had a few minor interactions with her without incident.
Last night I got an email from her about her son, which included a picture. He's been dangerously underweight and is improving. She also mentioned she misses me, but carefully avoided pronouns or anything gender specific and didn't mention my name (although her email system identified me by my old name).
I decided to respond. I gave her a pretty huge update on my progress since. Since I wasn't on HRT at the time, a hell of a lot has happened so I had no trouble in making it as detailed as I thought was appropriate.
Today I got a response. She still wants me to be her brother, but she does care about me. She didn't try to lash out at me or anything (which is why I had to block her in the first place). I'm hoping this is the start of us moving forward, but it still bothers me that she can't accept me as a sister. I wish she could understand. After all my parents understand now. They certainly didn't at first. None of us knew any trans people (that we knew of anyway) at the time.
Happy = Woke up to see anther day.
Unhappy = Still dysphoric and depressed.
Last night, I finished writing a research paper I've been putting off for ages. Unfortunately, I only got about three hours of sleep because I stayed up so late writing it and had to hand it in at my 8AM class today.
My date went well most of the time,though I was a bit cold on the back of his bike.
Some dirtbag tried to steal the bike and ripped out a load of wires leaving us stranded.He got a mate to take us home in his car and put the bike on a trailer.
Quote from: big kim on May 01, 2015, 03:48:27 AM
My date went well most of the time,though I was a bit cold on the back of his bike.
Some dirtbag tried to steal the bike and ripped out a load of wires leaving us stranded.He got a mate to take us home in his car and put the bike on a trailer.
Sounds an interesting date!
Just before I left work a research worker (elderly chinese man, with a heavy accent) who I knew walked into my lab asking for me 'old name'. My male staff member just said, 'she is standing behind you'. I thought he was going to faint :laugh:. I thought I was about to get some weird comment.
After a short talk about his research problem, he just looked at me and said (unprompted) 'you are so happy, you look so happy, you don't look haunted anymore, I'm so pleased for you.'
I'll accept that!
I went to the women's hostel today to use their computers to check emails and prepare some notes for next weeks lgbt group, the day was a rollercoaster ride of happy and sad.
Happy because most of the new clients were welcoming, sad because one definitely isn't happy with me being there. I heard her ask a staff member "who's that?" the word that had a rather hostile tone, the staff member replied "oh, that's just Jayne" and left it at that, she didn't feel the need to give any explanation other than my name thus cutting off any chance for escalation. This client may be an issue for further visits but I'll just have to calmly deal with this if it causes problems and hope she's open to discussing my situation in a reasonable manner.
Happy because I got to have a girly chat with two workers, sad because they're both heavily pregnant and they started swapping notes on the joy and misery of being pregnant after one of the wee ones decided to practice free kicks for the England footie team
i havent had the urge to take a nap and i have like tons more energy but i'm freaking starving -.- i had a huge breakfast and i'm still raiding my fridge for food. only thing i can find is grilled chicken. i could make a salad but i might end up eating the last 2 lettuce hearts left
I was watching an animated feature called 'Archer' and one of the characters in this episode reminded me of an old friend who passed away from cancer
Inspection of my apt. went okay and needed repairs were noted, but who knows when the maintenance people will come around to do the work :-\
Today I took Sweetie to her favorite clothing store to buy some desperately needed new clothes. We had a great time picking things out for her. She must have tried on 30 items and we left with 5. Had a really, really good time, but... You knew there would be a "but"! The more we looked the worse I felt that we weren't getting a single thing for me. This was her day and I don't regret it, my gift to her. She's still trying to get comfortable with the idea that I won't be able to pass as male much longer. :( When will it be my time?
Walked to the train station, wore my favorite gold pendant because I thought I'd be free from seeing anyone I knew. Indulged my inner train nerd and watched them for awhile. Met an old friend getting off a southbound Amtrak and had to dodge questions about homeless and joblessness while wearing a smile, and preying they didn't ask why I wear a Ladies necklace. Luckily they just complimented its sapphire as they were leaving. Ah the the trials of a split mind. :-\
Went to a family wedding this weekend in Indiana. I'm still living as male, but a few family members know and they treated me great. I'm actually looking forward to coming out to the whole family. It'll be interesting to see who accepts and who has problems.
But of course, the wife had a hissy fit and made it all about her. This weekend couldn't have been any less about her, yet she made her scene. I'm sick of it.
My Iguana finally dropped her eggs, 26 total but there isn't a male to fertilize them and I felt sad as I gathered them up
2 hours plus in the torture chair today, but we got them all. I literally have nothing to shave and can leave my razor at home when I go away for 4 days to celebrate my 21st wedding anniversary this Thur.
Quote from: Jill F on May 26, 2015, 09:46:44 PM
2 hours plus in the torture chair today, but we got them all. I literally have nothing to shave and can leave my razor at home when I go away for 4 days to celebrate my 21st wedding anniversary this Thur.
Congratulations on your anniversary, Jill!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKSkBsnfkFA
Thank you so much, ladies! We're doing San Diego this time and coming home Sunday to see Jason Bonham play.
Congrats on the anniversary :)
Quote from: Jill F on May 26, 2015, 09:46:44 PM
2 hours plus in the torture chair today, but we got them all. I literally have nothing to shave and can leave my razor at home when I go away for 4 days to celebrate my 21st wedding anniversary this Thur.
Congrats * 2 Jill :-*
L Katy
Did all kinds of stuff to help out various neighbors at my apt.s over the past few days and feel pretty good about that but I've been pretty worn out and tired at the end of each day and 'bout ready for a monster snoozer head crash :icon_sleep:
Nothing like a good snooze.
I had an odd experience. I got a phone call from the Equal Opportunity people at the University I teach at. They asked if I could be a counsellor or ALLY for gender diverse people. They have several. They asked me because they had heard I was an out and about transexual woman and my name keep coming up. (That was the bad, who has been talking! :laugh:). They told me they had a young TG man who wanted some advice, would I be willing to talk to them.
I informed my staff that we may get visits from GD people and to just guide them to me.
An hour later a young (18yr old) very nervous closeted transman arrived in my lab. He was quite taken by the easy going attitude of my staff, both men and women, to me. (They completely accept me and are totally disrespectful in the easy going way that friends are.)
We talked, or rather he did and after a while began to relax and realised that no one cared what gender he was.
As he was leaving one of my guys, a young man of about 25 asked if he wanted a coffee and to get away from all these crazy women. (I told you they were respectful!).
After an hour or so, my staff guy came back. I asked how it went. 'We talked about footy and cars, I thought he may like to talk guy stuff rather than don't worry stuff.'
For some reason I felt rather proud.
you must feel good being in a position to help. The pain we go through in life, I wish I had help growing up.
A bit silly LOL...
Can't remember quite who had brought it up or when but I thought I'd tried the popular spread Nutella when I younger but couldn't quite remember that either
So anyway, I noticed that it had gone on sale at the local market and set out to pick up a jar
To my dismay the shelf was empty :-\ There were other brands available but they were more expensive and contained more preservatives and came with a disclosure that other types of nuts may be used as well
Looking up with my hands out and sighing "Why" I noticed that there was one jar up on the top of the shelving were the overstock is placed
So, not only did I get my Nutella, I got the last jar available 8) I happily made my way to the checkout stand
Mmmmmmm, tasty stuff :)
Yuk! I hate the stuff! Crazy Americanos!!
Cindy! Nutella is from Europe. (Belgium, I believe.) :D
Nutella (http://www.nutellausa.com/history.htm)
Quote from: V M on June 08, 2015, 08:12:43 AM
Nutella (http://www.nutellausa.com/history.htm)
I stand partially corrected, Italy rather than Belgium. In any case, blame Europe, not America. Although I do love the stuff!
A bit silly, I was actually a rather apprehensive to try it for awhile just in case I didn't like it, but when it went on sale my curiosity got the best of me and I'm glad it did ;D
I also love the stuff, it is chocolate nuts, kind of like me.
So for the past two days I've been painting my nails, at work it's been complements like crazy, to the point to where this one elder lady admitted to me that she paints her husband's toe nails, and others that have had the same color were totally calling us twins. But then today a flamboyant gay boy was hitting on me, I was kinda afraid to tell him that I was trans, and really not a guy, but then I ended up just letting it go, just kinda letting it pass.
Let's all climb aboard the choo choo train to happiness
Kate♥
Quote from: LordKAT on June 09, 2015, 12:55:56 AM
I also love the stuff, it is chocolate nuts, kind of like me.
I think I'll pass on that one! ::)
I love your work Cindy. So fantastic.
You must be a happy little vegemite.
I wish I had a fiend like you.
Looking in the mirror today. 70% non male make me feel so happy.
Now dealing with the 100% terror.
Happy: I'm going to Seoul in a couple weeks to fix my voice which has been causing me so much distress
Unhappy: off my hormones, passport is still male. Hoping I don't get misgendered too much.
Yesterday I was remembering the great innovator and icon, Lester William Polsfuss's (aka Les Paul) 100 year birthday
(June 9, 1915 – August 12, 2009) RIP
Found a great looking pair of high heeled shoes today which fits me quite well(which is rare) and I had to restrain myself from buying them because I should save the money towards the more expensive parts of my transition.
Happy yummy pizza I had for dinner.
Unhappy people tailgating and driving crazy.
Quote from: Jenny07 on June 10, 2015, 06:15:13 AM
I love your work Cindy. So fantastic.
You must be a happy little vegemite.
I wish I had a fiend like you.
Looking in the mirror today. 70% non male make me feel so happy.
Now dealing with the 100% terror.
But you do have a fiend like me! A very dear fiend :-*
You also have a friend who cares for you :icon_flower: :icon_hug:
Happy, Coming home from work and putting on my normal clothes!
Unhappy, Getting really mad at work today and letting the "other one" come out. Its still bothering me right now and I went two weeks without getting mad. Really feel like having a good cry about now.
(This happened yesterday)
My wife and I went to Yardhouse for dinner which is normally very good. My wife has dairy allergies which normally isn't a problem there but for some reason they forgot to make enough dairy free bread that day. The waitress and the kitchen couldn't get it right and by the time they figured out a substitute bread (wheat bread) 45 minutes had passed and my food and some of her food was getting cold sitting in the kitchen. The manager apologized for the mess-up and not only did they remake the our dished he comped the entire meal because he felt so bad about our experience.
I went to use the kitchen faucet and the handle housing blew off and started squirting water in all directions :o Luckily I was able to quickly reach in under the cabinet and turn both water sources off then gathering the parts up and reassembling was much easier than I expected and I had it working again in about ten minutes 8) Now it works better than when the maintenance guy first installed it
I had a blood test!
Glad I'm making progress/getting tested for conditions and hopefully going to get answers soon. Blood tests themselves don't bother me, but... the nausea that comes after is absolutely awful. Thankfully my house is only a bus ride away from the clinic I had the test at, and my results should be sent to my GP in the next few days, but I feel pretty tired from having to wake up so early.
Acceptance of transgender community.
Still doesn't validate me
But I understand the need for acceptance for all of you.
Last day of holidays. Good an bad
Hi ho, hi ho back to work I go on Monday.
No not the dreaded emails.... :o
Got my car serviced and much less than expected :)
Gave some beer money on top for a happy Friday.
Now have to pay for Green slip (insurance) and rego, $1k. :(
A meal i was really looking forward to.When i cooked it i couldn't be bothered eating it and threw it away
I've been out working in the garden 8) My physical being is making known it's displeasure with such activities
Owie kazowies :P
My trip to Spokane this December just got a bit easier. Originally I had planned to just deal with my transcripts then, but I have been able to make contact with them and see if another option was available. Turn out my College transcripts were easy to deal with. The one that goes along with my Bachelor's degree I was able to submit everything electronically and have updated quickly. The one for my two year degree I have to send the physical documents in, but then they can change it. The unhappy part is my high school transcript is too old and they won't touch it since the physical copies no longer exist. 2 for 3 isn't bad.
Mariah
More people said they were really glad I was back at the store today. That can't be good...
Got lost in the grounds of a stately home,fell asleep on the bus.For some reason I bought some absinthe handwash.
Got to play with a cute Boston terrier
Went to my car to go up to store to get my boss lady to take my deposit to the bank when she goes and my car starts, but then shuts down right after. Wouldn't restart, just cranks. Thought that I would have an expensive problem, so got my brother's beach suv from next door since he hasn't taken it over yet, went to trash dump and then to store. Got back home, googled the problem and found out that the theft system had kicked in on its own. Did the stupid reset thing for almost 15 minutes, then it started. I think after the thing gets its state inspection, I'll order the resistor and go on and bypass the theft system altogether. Apparently its a common issue with that model.
my guitar playing is really sloppy today for some reason, probably the same reason i feel so tired and my eyes keep closing. i act like Jimmy Page nodding out after a 3 day bender but i'm sober as always.
but on the upside, my singing has dramatically improved, but my voice is unrecognizable compared to my speaking voice. i thought i had to sing in a deep voice thanks to my speaking voice obviously having gone down, but nah, mid-range it is.
I came across this awesome documentary on the Bad Brains online. ;D
But, I can't seem to find it for sell on DVD. :(
I'm sooooooo sick I had to call off work. Kinda need the money though.
http://9gag.com/gag/aKBDb3j
Today imma just be mid and play with makeup :3
Oh yes mr.puffyface ... that'll look cute ::)
Sweetie is taking a class this weekend which is going to make my commute tomorrow rougher than it typically is on Saturday. She suggested I attend tonight's session with her tonight. It's on past-life regression and there will likely be a mass hypnotic regression. He usually does one the first session. I'm on the fence with reincarnation but I do believe that these kinds of regressions can generate psychological insights. This would be the first time I've done it since I realized I'm trans and I'm curious and a bit nervous as to what might come up. I may just wait for her in the cafe or not go at all.
Just FYI, this is the psychologist (yes, he's still practicing) that Sweetie studied the technique with. We're both trained hypnotists.
Today I attended a memorial service for a close friend that took her own life last August. The family waited until now to have a service for her. We worked together when I attended The University of TN under a professor who was also there at the memorial service. It was great to re-connect back to some old friends whom I've lost contact with over the years. Most others friends are on Facebook and obviously knew I had transitioned, all with wonderful support. A few that were not on Facebook did not recognize me at all until the professor told them who I was and it was fun to see their reactions, all positive.
After passing a group of people at work I heard them talking behind my back about how a "man" isnt supposed to look "pretty". This made me super happy (I was floating on air the rest of the day), while at the same time annoyed that not only is that a thing, but that was considered an appropriate discussion while I was still right there.
Today I received a tax refund of £600 from Her Majesty's Government. Much obliged, Your Maj! ;D
But that's just about enough to clear my overdraft, so no wild spending spree for me.
Received the forms to change the name on my license but need my passport number which I don't have. I have to have a new passport anyway as work needs a copy, but now I'm thinking it may be best to wait until I'm on hormones to change my license otherwise I won't look like the same person. On the one hand it would be nice to have ID with my real name, on the other I only want to go through this faff once.
Quote from: Elis on July 31, 2015, 09:22:16 AM
I have to have a new passport anyway as work needs a copy, but now I'm thinking it may be best to wait until I'm on hormones to change my license otherwise I won't look like the same person.
That's what I did; I couldn't face having new mugshots taken until the T started working, but as soon as I looked passable enough I got my passport first & then my licence using my new passport number. You're going to be looking at those photos for years, so it does make sense to wait until you're on hormones IMHO, otherwise you're likely to get a spike of dysphoria every time you have to use your ID.
I presume work only needs ID because by law they need evidence that you're eligible to work in the country? If you were born in the UK, you
don't need photo ID to prove your right to work: you can also prove it by providing your full birth certificate and an official document confirming your National Insurance number (they'll post one to you if you ring them up). Obviously you'll need your Deed Poll too if you intend to work under your new name.
Oh, and you can change your name with HMRC (and update your National Insurance number) without getting a new passport or driving licence first. ;)
Quote from: FTMDiaries on July 31, 2015, 09:59:01 AM
That's what I did; I couldn't face having new mugshots taken until the T started working, but as soon as I looked passable enough I got my passport first & then my licence using my new passport number. You're going to be looking at those photos for years, so it does make sense to wait until you're on hormones IMHO, otherwise you're likely to get a spike of dysphoria every time you have to use your ID.
I presume work only needs ID because by law they need evidence that you're eligible to work in the country? If you were born in the UK, you don't need photo ID to prove your right to work: you can also prove it by providing your full birth certificate and an official document confirming your National Insurance number (they'll post one to you if you ring them up). Obviously you'll need your Deed Poll too if you intend to work under your new name.
Oh, and you can change your name with HMRC (and update your National Insurance number) without getting a new passport or driving licence first. ;)
Thanks for the help man :). I did already give work a copy of my birth certificate but they said they'd aldo need a photo, so wasn't sure :/. Oh and I did sign the form from HMRC earlier :)
I had to use the ladies' changing room at the gym today. :(
But the reason why I had to do so was actually OK. :)
Our gym sometimes does some behind-the-scenes maintenance behind the changing rooms and when that happens they sometimes swap the ladies' & the gents' around, so we have to use the opposite room. That happened today, so for the first time since 2012 I had to use the changing room that I used to use when I last presented as female.
It was a weird experience: when I used to use that room it was always full of chatting women, and being around them was one of the major things that used to make my dysphoria go through the roof; in fact, it was one of the triggers that convinced me to transition. I've always felt deeply uncomfortable around women due to the way they socialise (and their bodies, which are not to my taste) so being around a bunch of chatty, naked women was my own private hell. But today I was around a bunch of naked guys (including one nicely tattooed guy; very tasty!) and having them there with me meant that I found myself to be perfectly fine with being there. They have no idea how much they helped me avoid being triggered today.
Transition is a wonderful thing. :D
When I was weed eating yesterday I apparently angered a nest of wasps, so I got tagged pretty good on my nose of all places. Luckily, even though it still hurts a little, there seems to be no swelling or redness from it, maybe being hit in mostly cartilage prevents some of that.
Picturing a Marsh Monster eating weeds ::)
Oh yeah, today we had inspections at my apt.s, my place did well per usual but I am so dog tired
I know I shouldn't let me let these inspections stress me out, but they do and I get all messed up with my ability to eat and sleep
Possibly I feel like my privacy is being invaded/violated and don't approve of someone showing up to judge me
I'll probably crash pretty hard tonight, hopefully things will get back to normal and I'll move forward again
finally getting my new foundation and powder on and blended right....
...only to find out that indoors, I look like a sickly and pale old man.
Happy: My mother asked my Nanna (her mother) to change my name on her phone to Emmett. :)
Unhappy: She proceeded to call me by my birth name directly after. It's a start though, and I appreciate her attempts to adjust. So not quite unhappy, or happy?
I was sitting on the floor restocking a low shelf and a woman said, "excuse me, miss". :D
Then I turned and she said, " oh, sorry sir!" :'(
I just don't seem to be able to maintain my look through a long, strenuous day.
Helping some of my new neighbors 8) One needed their refrigerator door leveled so it sealed proper and the cold didn't leak out and to stop their food from spoiling
Another needed help with moving into their place
I am worn to a frazzle and my body hurts everywhere
Also: Someone had been stealing from the garden, one of my neighbors who also has stuff in the garden caught them on vid. with their smart phone so now we know who it is and can report it
At work full of cold, head aching, ears aching, voice raspy and I had a meeting with a former (female) student and my current female lab manager.
My student said, 'This is the first time we have been together since <former name> changed'. My lab manager just responded 'She is physically, emotionally, psychologically and hormonally female and her name is Cindy'.
Score 50 points for acceptance!
I don't think they ever liked each other :laugh:
Getting laid off from a job I've grown to hate
Finding somewhere to live
Quote from: big kim on August 27, 2015, 06:12:12 AM
Getting laid off from a job I've grown to hate
Finding somewhere to live
:(
Best of luck,Kim!
Talked about bathrooms with my father. On the one hand, I'm chuffed he cares enough to think about that kind of thing. On the other, he ... wasn't great about it, and it was a very difficult, embarrassing conversation. Oh well.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Thanks Dee
Car broke down for the third time inside of a month and the mechanic just shook his head. Time for last rites methinks.
I guess we get a new car soon because today was a payday.
I suppose it will be nice to drive off and not worry about being stranded somewhere yet again.
Really sore nipples after running since they now point out and could cut glass, but you know what that means is happening!!
I made an aplication for a benifit, Im glad I qualified for it, But having to Click that MALE box
Quote from: ButterflyVickster on September 01, 2015, 06:21:54 PM
I made an aplication for a benifit, Im glad I qualified for it, But having to Click that MALE box
Oooh, I know! That's one of my biggest bugaboos. Can't wait to change my ID in late October or early November depending on when my endo keeps his promise and sends me the letters.
Perfect thread for me today. I got approved for hormones and I have them in hand, but my wife doesn't want me to start them yet. She wants at least 2 weeks, but she would prefer I wait until January. Because that would be one year since I came out to her and I said at that time I wasn't planning on doing anything except losing weight this year. Clearly, I've done a lot more.
Sent from my SM-G900T using Tapatalk
Had an argument with my mother about how much she should attempt to help me with things.
Bad: She's pretty much saying that I should do everything myself from now on, and she is generally pissed off at me.
Good: I haven't had a proper argument in ages, so it made me feel better. Also, now if I do this right, she will settle for helping me out only when I specifically ask her, instead of attempting to help me with everything I try to do. Meaning that I pretty much gained some much-needed independence, which I was kind of lacking due to her tendency of trying to help me all the time.
Also, I know that the "From now on, you do everything on your own" thing is an act. And she can't keep it up for more than a week.
Also bad: She took away most of the properly feminine clothes she gave me a few days back, without saying a word.
Good: I managed to hide my favourite ones.
The good: It's finally cold enough that I need sweatshirts inside, it's overcast and quiet. I have some beautiful alone time and everything is peaceful.
The bad: I get that alone time because my girlfriend has been gone for 2 weeks (visiting family) and won't be back for a few more days. But I was left with her dogs who decided they didn't need to wait for me to wake up before they used the carpet for their bathroom.
Quote from: thorhugs on September 06, 2015, 04:40:32 PM
The good: It's finally cold enough that I need sweatshirts inside, it's overcast and quiet. I have some beautiful alone time and everything is peaceful.
The bad: I get that alone time because my girlfriend has been gone for 2 weeks (visiting family) and won't be back for a few more days. But I was left with her dogs who decided they didn't need to wait for me to wake up before they used the carpet for their bathroom.
It was 98 today, but I think we've seen the last of the 100+ degree days for the year.
However the humidity was near 60%, and it was miserable outside.
The Happy: I had an appointment at a local hospital this morning to get my 2nd opinion clearing me for bottom surgery. The doctor was brilliant and he said he has no hesitation in approving me for surgery. Woohoo! ;D
The Unhappy: On my way back to my car afterwards I walked past the cancer support centre, where an old lady of my mother's generation was being dropped off by her husband. As I passed her I could smell that she was wearing my mum's favourite perfume. My mum died of cancer 20 years ago, and the perfume triggered some very strong feelings and I'll admit that quite a few tears were shed. :'(
But that's life, isn't it? Great stuff happens; awful stuff happens... and it all happens every day to all sorts of people.
I was looking forward to seeing the "Big Red Super Moon" - But it was too cloudy here to see much and the eclipse was maybe a slightly dark pinkish gray at best
I just posted my Facebook coming out post and changed my gender to "Pending". As of posting I had 41 " friends" and 18 friend requests. I wonder where those numbers will stand tomorrow and a week from now. Not sad so much as kinda nervous.
Happy: I finally got to work and correct the issues with my old county's name change paperwork, preparing to submit it and get the ball rolling.
Unhappy: I found out I'm required to publish an ad in a newspaper that announces my name change and without a doubt.. will out me. So much for being in stealth. . .
My family are starting to understand me better
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I got my HRT letter today, and tomorrow I meet with the Endo and the electrologists. :)
My therapist said I was beaming so I guess that's a good way to say I am ecstatic.
My company HR called and gave me their plan for transitioning employee's and totally supports LGBT (their acronym) and the policy actually specifically identified Transgender employee's. This was awesome news.
Quote from: Dee Marshall on September 28, 2015, 12:31:00 PM
I just posted my Facebook coming out post and changed my gender to "Pending". As of posting I had 41 " friends" and 18 friend requests. I wonder where those numbers will stand tomorrow and a week from now. Not sad so much as kinda nervous.
With one is third of my Facebook friends responding polls show 100% support! Of course most of the early ones were people I had told personally.
Unhappy: - busted the zip on my old super comfy 'mum' jeans :(
Happy: - tried on a pair of hipster stretch jeans for the first time, - cool, still not too bad looking for an old lady :D
Ever since she came back from visiting her family, my girlfriend has been weirdly distant. It had me super stressed, because I came out to her a few days after she came home. She barely said a word about it, so I was super stressed about it and worried that was the reason for her distance.
I finally sat down to talk to her about it. It turned out she'd been wanting to break up with me (we live together), and wasn't sure how to bring it up. And she said I'd seemed so happy lately that she didn't want to ruin it.
So unhappy was breaking up with my girlfriend of 2 1/2 years. But happy was finding out the cause of stress for both of us.
I've lost weight and my shape is better but my breasts have shrunk down to a B. More on the plus side, that sweet ache has started up again in my breasts. It means the boob fairy has come back for a visit and is maybe planning a present for me.
Happy- ordered my first binder on a whim to try to cheer myself up, actually pretty excited
Unhappy- back in the old overdraft until i can get some cash... also it might arrive while I'm away so everyone will wonder what's in my Mysterious Package (not for the first time nudgenudge) and I'll have to somehow explain/ downplay...
Yodel finally delivered by new solid state drive and blue-ray drive.
Unfortunately, not the computer case.
Also, because I've been an idiot with my money, I'm relying on ebay sales. Kimmy promises she will be sensible next time.
Not today, but I rear ended a woman on the way to work Friday. (Unhappy)
She insisted on calling the police even though there was just minor damage. We exchanged
papers while we waited. She looked at me all funny and said "You're Michael?" (Happy)
The police arrive, he asks me "Are you OK, Ma'am?" (Happy)
He learns we've exchanged papers already and says we can go. She gets all pushy with him
wanting to know why he isn't filing a police report. He says "You just file a claim with your
insurance company, and her (pointing at me) insurance pays for the damage, that's all
there is to it for a minor accident." (Happy)
Happy - Friends said I pass without makeup which is good because my laser hair technician advised me to avoid wearing any makeup while I'm being treated.
Happy - Friends told me I have nothing to worry about, if I braid my hair or wear a ponytail I'll pass just fine still.
Unhappy - Facial analyzers, literally every single one says my face is full out masculine without my hair framing my face.
Unhappy - I still haven't gotten my social security nonsense wrapped up..
Happy: went to the pub with my colleagues at lunchtime, where a fellow South African engaged me in a conversation about tomorrow's World Cup match between SA & NZ. The conversation flowed very naturally and it was a stereotypical sports conversation between two guys. Part-way through, I remembered that this is still a newish thing for me, and that it's only in the last year or so that this sort of thing has been happening. Before that, guys wouldn't speak to me in that way and my female colleagues would've tried to engage me in their conversation. Now, the reverse is happening. Passing privilege is powerful, and I'm very grateful that I'm fortunate enough to have it. :)
Unhappy: the reason why we were at the pub is because our company might be downsizing. We've been going to the pub every lunchtime as a way of cheering each other up & keeping our morale as high as possible. :(
Quote from: FTMDiaries on October 23, 2015, 08:33:47 AM
Happy: went to the pub with my colleagues at lunchtime, where a fellow South African engaged me in a conversation about tomorrow's World Cup match between SA & NZ. The conversation flowed very naturally and it was a stereotypical sports conversation between two guys. Part-way through, I remembered that this is still a newish thing for me, and that it's only in the last year or so that this sort of thing has been happening. Before that, guys wouldn't speak to me in that way and my female colleagues would've tried to engage me in their conversation. Now, the reverse is happening. Passing privilege is powerful, and I'm very grateful that I'm fortunate enough to have it. :)
Unhappy: the reason why we were at the pub is because our company might be downsizing. We've been going to the pub every lunchtime as a way of cheering each other up & keeping our morale as high as possible. :(
Happy SA meet the All Blacks in the semi. Unhappy, Aus may meet them in the final. Happy that it will be awesome competition.
Go the Springboks, gulp, we could beat you, but NZ? Fat chance!
Quote from: Cindy on October 23, 2015, 08:51:11 AM
Go the Springboks, gulp, we could beat you, but NZ? Fat chance!
Thanks Cindy - my friend & I both agree that SA is unlikely to beat the Kiwis tomorrow though. We both reckon they'll lose the plot in the second half. :-\
All I can say is that I'm delighted it's an entirely Southern Hemisphere semi-final & final. Ah well... go Bokke! ;D
Neither happy nor sad news, more neutral news but I didn't know where to put it.
I got one result from my blood test last Friday which showed an overactive thyroid, but these were discussed in more detail with my doctor this afternoon. Turns out my T levels are high normal (I don't know the exact measurement, but the doctor said that 7-37 something is normal, and I'm 34 or 34.5-or-something somethings) and my E levels are incredibly high for a biological male. 130 something is the highest in males and I'm 275.
Additionally, one of my liver functions is out of range (only one function so it's not liver failure). I'll be seeing a thyroid specialist, hormone specialist and I'll need an ultra-scan of my liver to try and determine if these are linked.
I'll be doing a bit of googling tonight.
sad: boat got pulled out of the water this morning so no more sailing this year
happy: put deposit down on the same summer slip for next year so have another sailing season to look forward to
be well
jenifer
Happy- I found .3 cents.
Unhappy- I found .3 cents (I don't like the number 3.)
Unhappy because I've had a week of being ill.
Happy because my daughter came home from visiting with friends and played her guitar :D
Happy: 1) got my hair cut so I now look more like a handsome young man and less like a troglodyte; 2) had a laughter-filled lunch with one of my dearest friends; 3) it was confirmed that whilst my company is downsizing, my job is (currently) secure. :)
Unhappy: several of my colleagues' jobs are not secure. Within a few weeks' time I'll have to say goodbye to several people I've grown to care for & respect. :(
Happy, got my hair cut. It was really starting to overgrown and look messy. Looks so much better now :). Unhappy, maybe I could have not asked to get a bit less cut off.
My new birth certificate came in..
Happy and proud seeing my new name and gender..
Kinda sad about the death of my old ones..
felt like when I quit a job I had for a long time for a much better cool one...
The Jessica London catalogue I got in the mail today helped me figure out that I'm a size 14 except that my hips could stand another two or three inches, also that I'm a 40 C. Unfortunately, I can't buy any of the pretty, pretty things I found in it. I so want that knit duster!
Had a long chat with my 15-year-old daughter this morning - the one who reacted the worst when I came out 3 years ago. The one who told me at the time that she was disgusted with me, and would never accept me, and didn't want to be seen in public with me. That daughter.
Various things that she said to me this morning have made it clear that she's come to accept my transition and can see that it's the right thing for me, and that it would've been inevitable anyway. She 100% accepts that I'm male and her views have matured significantly in the past 3 years. She also understands me a lot better now in the light of the fact that my personality & behaviour, rather than being 'weird for a woman', are simply normal for a guy. So, there's a glimmer of happiness there.
But then she said something that upset me: she said that when she goes around her friends' houses, it's weird for her to see how their mums behave. They act like traditional mothers: fussing over her, asking if she wants anything to eat or drink... acting the way stereotypical mothers act. She said it's weird for her to see that, because even though I love her to pieces, did everything I could for her & always tried to do what was right, that feminine touch was always missing so I was never a stereotypical mum for her.
How could I be? I'm simply not wired that way.
She accepts that, and understands why I am the way I am... but I wish we didn't have to be in this situation. I wish I could've been a traditional mother for her, so that she could've had a 'normal' upbringing of the sort her friends are having. I wish I hadn't struggled so much with trying to figure out how to be a woman before throwing in the towel and accepting the truth. But circumstances beyond my control left me with an undeniably male brain, so my attempts to mother (rather than father) my daughter were pretty much doomed from the start. :-\
Today I received notification of two charges I didn't make on my credit card that were not mine so evidently my credit card number was swiped somewhere and was being used to make unauthorized purchases of several hundred dollars.
The good news is that I will not be responsible and Capital One is sending me a new credit card with a new number, plus I was ma'amed on the phone consistently with both customer service representative on the phone I dealt with.
I love Capital One, Sydney! I have a card with them and always get great service. I also have checking which is also excellent.
Capital One has been one of the better banks I've dealt with. We did a car loan through them in the middle of my name change and they were great about it all. Plus we only paid 3% financing on the purchase of a used car.
For our business account, Chase has also been good. The bank I can't stank for business practices is Bank of America even though they have a great LGBT record.
I found out Tuesday that I have bursitis in my right shoulder. Hurts like no tomorrow, especially when working, even if I carry something small in my hand my shoulder starts hurting.
On the bright side, the doctors note is an indefinite "no heavy lifting, no overhead lifting" which kinda gives me a more female role at the work area, since I wont be doing the macho, superman heavy lifting stuff anymore.
One note too is that the emphasis that my manager is now putting on gendering me right at a 98% probability, only accidental slips and catching it right away and going forth with having the right pronouns and such is having an impact on the other employees, which most of them are now gendering me right.. I'm excited about this... But when it comes to the two that do not comply just yet, makes it dig deeper when they mis gender me.
Kate <3
Downloaded "important" updates 8) It took about 4 hours but it doesn't look like much of anything new, exciting or even half interesting happened :P
Oh well, it gave me time to make some pancakes and an omelette ;D
Lets get the bad out of the way first; had to spend £400 on a pair of rear tyres and 4 wheel alignment on the Volvo only to drive it home afterwards and find a puncture on one of the front tyres!! That meant another £300 on a pair of front tyres!! :(
Next one is I've been informed by the university that no local schools will take me on my final teaching practice this year, so I may not be able to complete my teacher training. Why?? Well, we all know the answer to that don't we. I mean, I've had my birth certificate changed, all documents show me as female and I've lived as a woman since I was 16 but that's not good enough. The other 9 students have all been accepted and you usually return to the first school you were at but they don't send students there anymore as it's no longer a partner school. Apparently no other local secondary schools will take me. I'm not being funny here but I'm not exactly masculine in appearance and mannerisms etc; you'd never tell I am trans (I don't hide it if asked but I'm a woman first and trans second) and I have a soft feminine voice too. The last school won't take me again because the uni have sent someone who doesn't drive and lives nearby there (they always give those who drive a cleft stick!) so there's nothing I can say without incurring the wrath of the swear filter to describe how annoyed I am!!! The uni knew I was trans when I signed up and were happy enough to take me on a take the tuition money and it hasn't been a problem with schools until now! I'm contacting the schools myself so I can ask personally if they'll have me.
The good is that my new Jimmy Choo clutch bag I won on eBay to cheer me up arrived and I must say, it's a thing of beauty :D xx
I started losing weight recently so out of interest i measured my bust, I've gone down two cup sizes... I actually put on one of my old bras for the first time in months and it was so hilarious to see them half full i didn't even get the dysphoria lol. now i have a perfect excuse to bin them too.
only downside is my binders are looser + i can't afford a new one.
My favorite pair of leggings don't fit any more.
I've toned up quite a bit and a lot of the fat has shifted, ahem!, further up.
I managed to catch the highly contagious stomach bug that's been going about town... Again :icon_blink: :icon_blah: Luckily, thus far I've been able to make it into the facilities before my tummy or my bum unleashes their opulent fury :icon_redface:
Happy: I've achieved another Transition Goal... this morning, completely out of the blue, another guy at the petrol station complimented me on my car. I know only too well that guys simply don't do that to women, so not only did I enjoy the validation of my excellent taste in cars, I also found it particularly pleasing in a way that cis guys probably never experience. ;D
Not-So-Happy: whilst walking through a shopping complex on my way to visit my GIC doctor, I walked past a trans woman who (bless her) didn't pass at all, and she was getting rude stares & giggles from the Muggles as she walked past them. Ugh, the early stages can be so cruel. Passing privilege is a HUGE thing, and I wish I could take her pain away and stop those ignorant knuckle-draggers from behaving the way they do. It reminded me of the importance of funding FFS and electrolysis/laser for those who need them... and to arrange the care they need as soon as humanly possible.
(Mostly) Learned "Pictures of Home" (Deep Purple) complete with solos and fills (now need to get it up to tempo), then noticed that my manicure is now destroyed beyond repair.
Unhappy got soaking wet and cold most of the day. Got up early to find my doctor's appointment cancelled, a shop i wanted to buy from has closed for relocation.
Happy, new clothes, perfume,Michael Monroe CD,
This is for yesterday, but whatever......
Happy: Had a really great first appointment with the occupational therapist who is going to be working with me from now until February.
Unhappy: As soon as I arrived back home I crashed out into the dreamscape again and was gone for the next four hours.
Due to injuries incurred it is rather difficult for me to turn to look for cars coming up from behind so I keep a rear view mirror on my bicycle handlebar
Over the summer the bike was vandalized a bit and the mirror broken off >:(
Well today I got a new mirror and it came complete with a builtin blinky light 8)
Yay, blinky light!!! ;D
This sounds so silly.
The main hospital I work at is in a position where parking is extremely limited. So of course 'they' decided to close the main car park (700 parks) unannounced.
700 into zero = chaos
But I had read a few threads of getting back on my bike, so I had! Total coincidence.
I could make money from people hanging off my bike for a lift.
Riding a bike was also a very interesting experience :embarrassed: ::) :laugh:
We will make a bike ride of you yet my young apprentice.
Work is really getting to me.
Feel so under appreciated for what I do.
Had not had a pay rise in 3 years and given my soul to it.
I should be grateful in that it pays the bills but a what personal cost?
The weekend now so my bike is calling and I can be me.
I love riding my old vintage bikes and I'm looking forward to being able get back on them again once my health picks up a bit. I hope you are enjoying the experience of becoming a bike rider Cindy because they really are freedom machines. I don't miss driving a car at all, it's not being able to ride a bike that's been getting at me.
i'm seeing my therapist today and i'm super duper happy about seeing her and catch up with what has been going on in my week.
the unhappy part: Facebook has been giving me hell for not changing my name. they ask for IDs and i already told them i haven't had any legal papers of my new name yet. thanks goodness i have good Photoshop skills and i managed to used it to forge papers of my new name. lol. z. let's see if i succeed >:-)
I had one of those parent moment where I was watching my daughter working on her electronic designs and I just absolutely knew beyond all doubt that I loved her more than anything in the world. Then I immediately felt sad because of the way my brothers dead name her and talk to me about her like she's dirt on the soles of their shoes.
To fight with my medical Insurance company and then find out that they had to pay for it all.
Being in a hotel room with unlimited amount of hot water to take my time to shave my legs....
....and only bringing one flimsy generic disposable razor....
A few days ago when I went to pick up some cold meds, I found the one I prefer but when I looked at the price I decided on a packet of a generic :-\ Big mistake, the generic meds made feel weirded out and jittery and didn't seem to work quite as well
After a few days of that I decided I should go ahead and put up the few extra $ to get the meds I like
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thecoupongeek.com%2Fthumbs%2Fcoupons%2Fcoupon_29a54d2f3978ed938943fe388ea033c5.jpg&hash=7f35c69ed69df9d24dd7bae38be4e2752f4290cf)
Well at first I couldn't find it and I was feeling a bit distressed by that :eusa_doh: But then I realized that the entire shelving had been rearranged and my meds were just in another spot :icon_biggrin: Not only that but the price had been lowered back down to the normal price :eusa_dance: Yay!!!
I'm happy we are getting the much needed rain, but I so dislike the timing with my leaving this morning. Hugs
Mariah
Yesterday I was talking to my co-manager (just below store manager at Walmart). She's very friendly, but then I work like a fiend for her. I thought for sure she knew I'm trans and said something off hand that confused her. Turns out she didn't. She was perfectly fine about it. I showed her the picture (posted elsewhere here) of the blouse I bought here on Friday. She was very complimentary and said she might get one for herself commenting that it could also be used as a dress. I told her not on me, too short, and she laughed.
A few minutes later she came to me where I was working and confessed that she had accidentally insulted our other openly trans staff and felt bad about it. She used sir instead of ma'am, she's from Arkansas. She asked what to do in the future. I told her to just ask what pronouns someone prefers, so she asked me. I told her female and she asked my help if she slips with either of us! She's also one of the people there who calls me Dee. That she never slips on.
Also, my two best friends at work were pulling things off of racks and telling me what they thought looks good. What a boost yesterday was.
One thing though. I showed them the boots I want to buy and they really tested my resolve to wait until payday! ;-)
My thumb, (the one I sliced open while making dinner) is finally healing up 8) But it looks like I might have a permanent divot on the tip and I think I may have damaged a nerve ending :-\
I'm alone tonight but I have a steak on the grill
My sister keeps calling up to say she wants to get together for the holidays and then calling back awhile later to flake out
::)
Oh well, most people are pretty flaky, it's rather rare when anyone's word is actually worth anything
Quote from: V M on December 26, 2015, 03:06:21 PM
My sister keeps calling up to say she wants to get together for the holidays and then calling back awhile later to flake out
::)
Oh well, most people are pretty flaky, it's rather rare when anyone's word is worth anything
Bummer, especially since words are about all I can afford. Hope Sandy Claws cleaned up after himself.
You're one of the few exceptions LordKAT
Hugs
There is my happy and sad. Sad your not having the best of times, happy that I'm not the cause.
Hugs for you, too.
I was alone all day but Now i'm headed out with my man for a formal Yes!
Lynn
Today marks the 20th anniversary of Amber Hagerman's disappearance
I am happy because it was her abduction that lead to the country wide Amber Alert System, it's just so sad that it took such a horrific event to bring the alert system about
It's also very triggering and reminds me of when some creeper tried to put the grab on me over 40 years ago - The bodies of several children were found buried in his backyard a short time later
>You can read about Amber by clicking on the title below<
Who killed Amber Hagerman? Murder case that inspired Amber Alerts remains unsolved 20 years later (http://news.yahoo.com/who-killed-amber-hagerman-murder-case-that-inspired-amber-alerts-unsolved-20-years-later-142605215.html)
By Jason Sickles, Yahoo
ARLINGTON, Texas — Unlike terror bulletins or weather warnings, the mayday for missing children has a namesake: Amber.
"It's a shame my daughter had to be butchered and had to go through what she went through for us to have the Amber Alert, but I know she would be proud of it," Donna Williams said during a recent visit at her home.
On Wednesday, two decades will have passed since a stranger snatched 9-year-old Amber Hagerman off her bicycle from a vacant supermarket parking lot in broad daylight and drove away in a black pickup truck...
Hi All
I would say that when I had my surgery I didn't know what to expect completely at the time. After I did I found out some of the most wonderful news that a women could ever find out and it was very shocking. I really don't want to get into details but it was shocking in a great way and yet Horrifying in and other. Now I sit here and think to my self how much deferent that my life could have been from the start if they had not done to me what they did. I knew my whole life that there was a lot of thing different about me and now I know why. I'm to old to do anything about it now and just think about it and cry myself to sleep at night. I have some very close friends on here and a very limited few will ever know my complete Issue as I am a very private women and always have been. But it is far better off that way.
Hug's
Lyndsey
It's not necessarily just today but for a little while now. My wife has been so supportive, but she pulls all this passive aggressive bs. For example, she reminds me that I started HRT than she wanted me to. She acts like no one else is really supportive to me, not like her. And if they are, why aren't they supportive of her, too? Answer: she's completely alienated my family. She gets offended for me, but then blows it off if I am actually offended.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I'm learning to love myself. That's why my identity is important.
Happy this morning getting dressed to do some work at home in tights, dress and cosy cardigan with nice wig and looking at mirror and seeing my true self then unhappy that I don't get to be like this all the time.
One of my neighbors got his electric wheelchair stuck in the snow while attempting to throw an empty box in the bin
Luckily I happened to see him and was able to go out and dislodge the chair and get him back inside
Dang!!! But those things are heavy :P
I finally got riley to dance in public :laugh: ;D however i got yelled at in the process :'(
Quote from: V M on January 28, 2016, 07:19:32 PM
One of my neighbors got his electric wheelchair stuck in the snow while attempting to throw an empty box in the bin
Luckily I happened to see him and was able to go out and dislodge the chair and get him back inside
Dang!!! But those things are heavy :P
Nice work! :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on January 28, 2016, 07:33:24 PM
Nice work! :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Thank you
One of my biggest fears is finding someone frozen stiff out there
Happy because...
1) My step mama told me she actually "respects" me as a human.
2) My pops wished me a happy birthday and told me he "loves" me (even though he still refers to me incorrectly, yet I had no compulsion to correct him after he actually told me he "loves" me).
3) My step mama also wished me happy birthday. :D
Unhappy because.....
1) None of my other family called to say "hi" to me of all days, seeing that today is my birthday. I guess its a lot of people's birthdays. So mine doesn't matter much....
2) My step mama says she "respects" me as a human being, but does not agree with what I do as far as my gender expression.
That's what I got so far for today...
Hi All
I'm just so depressed tonight. I hate this cold and I'm moving out of a house that I have loved so much but my transition has made me want to leave here. It has been so hard for me to do this and leave were my children and grand kids are but I must do it for my sanity On the other hand it is kind of bitter sweet but my house is sold and I'm going to a warmer place.
Hug's
Lyndsey Marie
This one guy who really really likes me decided to stop by my workplace.
Made me smile and all, because I do know he does like me, and that he cares that much just to stop by to say hi, and to see how I was doing but not anything past that.
The thing though is that in my opinion he likes me for all the wrong reasons. He likes my more masculine traits, which I dislike about myself.
Kate <3
Tearing apart an old Wurlitzer church organ that has never worked I bought at a thrift store several years ago so I can retrofit it with more modern equipment in order to centralize everything into a more compact music production station
It didn't have anything to do with the satisfaction of gutting something that I viewed as nemesis to my personal growth in younger years, I just kinda like the wooden console
Unhappy because I haven't got at it sooner and now I'm wearing myself out
Quote from: V M on February 22, 2016, 02:15:10 AM
Tearing apart an old Wurlitzer church organ that has never worked I bought at a thrift store several years ago so I can retrofit it with more modern equipment in order to centralize everything into a more compact music production station
It didn't have anything to do with the satisfaction of gutting something that I viewed as nemesis to my personal growth in younger years, I just kinda like the wooden console
Unhappy because I haven't got at it sooner and now I'm wearing myself out
I am not going to make any comment about watching Virginia playing with her organ on our Skype call. I'm just not going there :laugh:
Went to the dentist today. Not a regular check up... :icon_omfg:
Horrible and painful.
My mouth is very sore at the moment......
At least it is fixed on the plus side but owl it hurts....
I've been making extra effort lately to look good at work, even though the clothes we have to wear are pretty androgynous. Yesterday at work as I was passing by cosmetics on my way to vitamins a rather intense customer stopped me and asked if we has Drew Barrymore's new cosmetics line. I told her I didn't work in that department and wasn't aware but hadn't seen it. She told me she had stopped me because my makeup was so lovely, her words. :-) A few moments later she tracked me down because she had found it. I hadn't connected the Flower line with Ms. Barrymore. In that ensuing conversation she called me "sir" then quickly corrected that to "miss". Now I'm pretty sure that she clocked me. :-( But she was so nice about it!
Learning that I no longer have the exact same number of Oscars as Leonardo Di Caprio.
Two days ago my bestie told me she put me forward for membership in a private Facebook women's group she belongs to. She showed me a screenshot of a picture she had taken of me with a description explaining who I am to her and saying I'm trans. I'm open so that didn't upset me. I got close to 300 likes from the members! She told me that I should get an invite soon based upon the response. Two days later, no invite and I'm beginning to wonder. :'(
PS: I was turned down. Evidently I'm too androgynous. Another case of trans women being held to a higher standard than cis women. I'm not angry, just tired of this stuff.
Happy:
#1) I've been doing really well going back to the gym this week and although I've only lost a pound, I feel thinner.
#2) I went to electrolysis for the first time in 5 weeks and she only had 40 min worth of hair to remove before I was all clear, so I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel for electrolysis.
Unhappy:
#1) On my way back from electrolysis, I tripped going up stairs to the subway platform and although I caught myself, I dropped my phone and cracked the very bottom of my screen on my phone. It the first time I've ever cracked a screen on my phone.
#2) Yesterday I had applied for an internet bank account through Bank of Internet and even though I have applied for 2 credit cards and one loan since I've changed my name without an issues, I got turned down because they thought my information was incomplete or could not be verified. Obviously I'll have to call to get clarification, but who thought it would be easier to open up a new credit card account than a bank account?
The deal I had with Sweetie was that I would dress androgynously around her for as long as I could stand it. Lately when I'm not with her I rarely get misgendered but with her I get misgendered about half the time. I can't take it anymore. I just told her that I have to start wearing makeup to cover my beard shadow all the time, even with her and sports bras won't do it anymore. She told me that she understands I have to take these steps it the conversation left us both a bit sad.
For the first time I was able to mentally picture myself as a man on T = Happy
I am not as hot as Aydian Dowling = Sad, haha
I finally asked for a county foster placement for my kid. I'll miss her a lot. I've based almost my whole identity on her for 17 years. We have stuff we do together that neither of us will ever find other partners for, like insect collecting or singing the stupid songs we make up.
I'm unhappy because I'm intentionally removing my only family from my life, but I'm happy because oh my gosh. She kicked me in the face yesterday when I leaned over to pick up stuff off her floor. She threatens to kill my cat. She is taller than me and only five pounds lighter. She punches and spits and bites and never remembers. She'll give me wounds and then have her feelings hurt when I'm cold to her an hour afterward. I can't handle it anymore.
She gets the police called on us all the time. And they think I'm her pimp because of course a young guy giving orders to a teenage girl is a pimp. Or they think I'm her brother. Even when I show my ID and her school ID they ask if I'm her real dad or her "street dad." I usually out myself to explain how young I look but half the time they have no idea what transgender even means.
I don't think my kid even understands that her actions affect other people. She's charismatic and knows all about pokemon but she's violent often and impulsive. She darts into traffic mindlessly and often eats things that aren't food. She has killed enough small animals by petting and hugging them (like Of Mice and Men) that she's just not allowed to hold them. And strangers in public always always always act like I'm being needlessly strict with how many things she isn't allowed to do. People chew me out every day, either because I'm giving my kid too many rules or because my kid is flipping out and they think I should discipline her better.
I can't win and I'm tired. I love my daughter but I'm tired of being banned from stores and having friends wanting nothing to do with us. I'm tired of the cops. I'm tired of the aches and pains from her messing up my joints and teeth and skin. I'm tired of how poisonous it is to have the only human who loves me hit me all the time.
So yeah it's horrible I'm giving up on her. But it's also joyful because I'm desperate for a break. I put in a request for 1 or 2 months and what I get depends on how ambitious the care provider is.
I am so sorry to hear of this development Felix, I have often read your posts of the good and the bad times and the many struggles throughout the years and had hoped along with you for things to get better
Hugs
Quote from: V M on March 14, 2016, 04:28:06 AM
I am so sorry to hear of this development Felix, I have often read your posts of the good and the bad times and the many struggles throughout the years and had hoped along with you for things to get better
Hugs
Thank you for your time reading it. I didn't mean to say all that much stuff. I would rather be helping others than kvetching but I'm frustrated right now.
i got offered from my uncle to go to another city with our grandma and it makes me happy.
but i got a biometric appointment along with my therapist appointment around that time. i don't know if i could go. it makes me sad and kinda mat at the same time.
Finally got the ball rolling by seeing a nurse to fill in my referal form for Charring Cross. But I have to get another blood test done :(. I was looking forward to not having to get another one until I was 9 months on T.
I've finally plucked up the courage to sign up for an adult event that's happening soon in my region. I've been to similar events and had wonderful experiences, but those were for a more general audience and as such the attendees were mostly hetero.
This one is exclusively for gay men... but even though I'm as cute as a button and pass so well that nobody knows I'm trans unless I tell them, I am of course going to be rocking up with some unexpected body parts. :(
I'm looking forward to it, but I'm also very nervous. I am probably going to have to out myself and I could wind up having a good time and facing some horrible rejection all on the same night.
The laundry room at my apt.s is often rather busy so it is sometimes difficult to get a chance to make use of it :-\
Well after feeling a bit frustrated for the past few days I finally got my chance last night
It's rarely felt so good to finally have some clean clothes and bedding again
Quote from: Felix on March 14, 2016, 03:15:09 AM
I finally asked for a county foster placement for my kid. I'll miss her a lot. I've based almost my whole identity on her for 17 years. We have stuff we do together that neither of us will ever find other partners for, like insect collecting or singing the stupid songs we make up.
I'm unhappy because I'm intentionally removing my only family from my life, but I'm happy because oh my gosh. She kicked me in the face yesterday when I leaned over to pick up stuff off her floor. She threatens to kill my cat. She is taller than me and only five pounds lighter. She punches and spits and bites and never remembers. She'll give me wounds and then have her feelings hurt when I'm cold to her an hour afterward. I can't handle it anymore.
She gets the police called on us all the time. And they think I'm her pimp because of course a young guy giving orders to a teenage girl is a pimp. Or they think I'm her brother. Even when I show my ID and her school ID they ask if I'm her real dad or her "street dad." I usually out myself to explain how young I look but half the time they have no idea what transgender even means.
I don't think my kid even understands that her actions affect other people. She's charismatic and knows all about pokemon but she's violent often and impulsive. She darts into traffic mindlessly and often eats things that aren't food. She has killed enough small animals by petting and hugging them (like Of Mice and Men) that she's just not allowed to hold them. And strangers in public always always always act like I'm being needlessly strict with how many things she isn't allowed to do. People chew me out every day, either because I'm giving my kid too many rules or because my kid is flipping out and they think I should discipline her better.
I can't win and I'm tired. I love my daughter but I'm tired of being banned from stores and having friends wanting nothing to do with us. I'm tired of the cops. I'm tired of the aches and pains from her messing up my joints and teeth and skin. I'm tired of how poisonous it is to have the only human who loves me hit me all the time.
So yeah it's horrible I'm giving up on her. But it's also joyful because I'm desperate for a break. I put in a request for 1 or 2 months and what I get depends on how ambitious the care provider is.
Felix,
You have my uttermost respect and total love. I have an inkling of what you have been through and you are a wonderful father to her. But sometimes we need help. You are doing the right thing in my mind.
Love and Hugs my brother
Cindy
Wasn't today but my wife telling me I'm looking too female. I was sad that she was sad (she can struggle at times which is ok) but I was bouncing up and down with happiness for me.
I woke up fairly happy today i haven't done much but i felt more active then recent days meaning i am probably coming out of my depression. I made myself some breakfast had some toast and coffee going to get some tea soon.
And the bad thing is my dysphoria tends to be triggered by others transition pictures and creates me to have so much anxiety i'll start to feel minorly ill. So that's no good but i manage it just means keep fighting to get what i need :)
Got my pierced Sun :). But I have a 6 week wait to see if it'll heal properly unlike the last time I had my ears pierced :(
My referal letter for Charring Cross came today :). But it's a 13 month wait ::)
Being referred to by one of my elderly neighbors as a very kind person who is always helping others :) Unfortunately he ended it up with saying that I was a rather kind man :-\
Rather than raising a fuss I just smiled and said "That's because I'm a girl" :icon_chick: Thinking that I was just joking around like I often do he chuckled a bit and said "Oh you, got me again"
But I could see the gears turning in his head as he was thinking it over :laugh:
My glasses broke so had to get new ones which was great; my old pair don't really suit my new face anymore. But they were a bit expensive. On the plus side again the optician didn't have any problems changing me details to that of my new name and social title :). I often hear stories of trans people facing discrimination but my experiences so far have been positive. Nobody really cares and will treat you no differently. I know I'm lucky though to be living in the area I do and that's it's most likely only a matter of time; but usually we worry for nothing.
Unhappy: my ex and our eldest daughter were involved in a car crash. He was rear-ended in stationary traffic & they were wedged between two cars. His car is probably a write-off.
Happy: apart from a few aches & bruises they're both ok, thank goodness.
Good: Going to orientation for my new job on Friday. Bad: going to orientation for my new job on Friday. Change makes me nervous. (Transgender and CHANGE makes me nervous? Manic laughter!!)
Bad: Today, the psychologist doing the groundwork for diagnosing me as transgender revealed something to me: Apparently, my personality and worldview are quite unusual. As in, they deviate from the standard Jane Doe model significantly. This has led the medical personnel to think that there's a significant risk of me developing psychosis if I went on HRT. So, it's pretty much 90% certain that my transition has been delayed with at least several years. Previously, it was only about 80%, given that these particular medical personnel are world champion-level gatekeepers.
Good: Their diagnosis is not my death sentence, and I can try again after a few years on the adults' clinic. I'm not actually insane by any measurement. I can now add "Official Weirdo" to my calling card. I've gotten more determined to make a better life for myself in the meantime. My parents are NOT authorized to know about this development. And I picked up some snacks along the journey.
I watched Imaginaerum again. I enjoyed it but it's so sad the relationship between Gem & Tom made me realise how I also pushed Dad away from me as I felt I was a disappointment to him.
Sweetie (time to stop calling her that, her name is Randi) had a discussion this evening. She said that she was sorry she had been mad yesterday and had come to the conclusion that the only thing that can save our friendship is divorce. She's not asking me to leave or much of anything else but has decided that being married is holding her back from accepting me as I am. I'm both relieved that this fighting will end and mourning the end of a thirty five year marriage. It will be good to have my best friend back, though!
:) Second round of intensive electrolysis sessions at the o2 clinic in Antwerpen. 8 hours today, and I'm expecting around 4 tomorrow.
:( My face is swollen to no end. The upper lip is such a tough guy to crack...
The spouse says I am permitted to try HRT :) as long as I don't "turn into a woman like that Bruce Jenner." >:(
No, dear. I intend to be an entirely different woman. Oh, well. It's a start, I suppose.
Been sick all last week with a stomach bug :P Seem to be finally getting over it
5 yrs since coming out I've only recently had a handful of strangers identify me as female.
Today I went into my local shop, a man accidentally cut into the line infront of me & when he realised his mistake he said "very sorry love, I was in a world of my own", I was over the moon until I got to the till & the cashier called me sir.
What life gives with one hand it takes away with the other "sigh"
On my local radio station this morning they played a vox pop in which they asked random members of the public: "Which of the 7 deadly sins have you committed most recently?". It's a great question that often gives some very revealing answers. (Y'know, the 7 deadly sins: pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath & sloth). I always think about it myself, and my answer is probably 'pride' because I'm chuffed that someone famous in the movie business recently liked one of my tweets.
So anyway, they interviewed a guy from my neighbourhood and asked him which of the 7 deadly sins he'd committed most recently. And he answered... "GBH". In British Criminal Law, GBH = Grievous Bodily Harm, i.e. the felony crime of assaulting another person with the intention of causing them serious injury. :icon_yikes:
I laughed out loud in shock and it was a brilliant radio moment... but ye gods, I seriously need to move out of this neighbourhood!
On the way to our son's we stopped in Lancaster, PA for chicken and outlet centers. The chicken was wonderful and the shopping was productive (shoes!), but it made us late and we had to make lesser dinner plans. But shoes!
Happy: After about a 5 minute standoff with the giant cockroach in my room, I finally killed it.
Unhappy: I hurt my cuticle in the process.
Happy: Went to see Priscilla Queen of the Desert at the theatre. It was fantastic.
Unhappy: When the bus was sprayed with a nasty homophobic slur, the woman sat to my right burst out laughing. And she laughed heartily at every homophobic moment that happened in the first half of the performance.
So what did I do? During the interval, I casually mentioned to the lovely lady on my other side (loud enough for the other woman to hear - and yes, she was listening) that it's really disheartening to hear members of the audience laugh at people being subjected to homophobic attacks, when this is the sort of thing that actually happens to good, decent people in our city. Because if they're laughing at those sort of attacks, what will they do to people like me when they've had a few drinks? Will they attack us too? Because they think that's funny, right? I mentioned that there are quite a few gay people in the room right now, and a couple of trans people too (I spotted two trans women, but didn't mention them directly) - and it hurts us all to hear people laughing at acts of violence against us.
No further inappropriate laughter was heard from the woman on the right for the rest of the performance.
Quote from: FTMDiaries on June 13, 2016, 04:07:16 AM
Happy: Went to see Priscilla Queen of the Desert at the theatre. It was fantastic.
Unhappy: When the bus was sprayed with a nasty homophobic slur, the woman sat to my right burst out laughing. And she laughed heartily at every homophobic moment that happened in the first half of the performance.
So what did I do? During the interval, I casually mentioned to the lovely lady on my other side (loud enough for the other woman to hear - and yes, she was listening) that it's really disheartening to hear members of the audience laugh at people being subjected to homophobic attacks, when this is the sort of thing that actually happens to good, decent people in our city. Because if they're laughing at those sort of attacks, what will they do to people like me when they've had a few drinks? Will they attack us too? Because they think that's funny, right? I mentioned that there are quite a few gay people in the room right now, and a couple of trans people too (I spotted two trans women, but didn't mention them directly) - and it hurts us all to hear people laughing at acts of violence against us.
No further inappropriate laughter was heard from the woman on the right for the rest of the performance.
Should see this in Aus, it is the new Rocky Horror Show. We all know the songs. It is just fun.
Quote from: Cindy on June 13, 2016, 04:18:01 AM
Should see this in Aus, it is the new Rocky Horror Show. We all know the songs. It is just fun.
I'll bet it is. :) Out of interest... in Oz, is the music pretty much all Kylie? Or is it ABBA like the movie was?
We were singing along too, especially at the end: a standing ovation, with the entire theatre singing 'I Will Survive'. I certainly have, and I certainly will.
Kylie but the sound track. I the main cities being gender diverse is pretty normal to be honest.
Feeling a bit stiff, sore and tired from working in the garden
Quote from: V M on June 24, 2016, 05:22:07 AM
Feeling a bit stiff, sore and tired from working in the garden
I worked as a landscape gardener's assistant (at 41!). I felt like I'd done 15 rounds with Mike Tyson at the end of the day. 1 summer of that was enough!
Quote from: big kim on June 25, 2016, 04:55:48 AM
I worked as a landscape gardener's assistant (at 41!). I felt like I'd done 15 rounds with Mike Tyson at the end of the day. 1 summer of that was enough!
Ah yes, when I lived in San Diego I had a part time job installing tropical gardens along with other gardening and landscape jobs
Also did various construction and cabinetry side jobs as well
That stuff will definitely help with falling asleep at night
While doing my usual nightly walkabouts to make sure all is well at my apt.s I noticed a rather expensive necklace laying on the floor of the lobby
Having an eye for quality I examined the materials and craftsmanship, oh how I'd love to have such a beautiful piece
But I knew it probably belonged to one of the retired women residing here and probably held more personal value than anything, I knew it would not be right to keep it so I turned it in
The woman posted a thank you note on the bulletin board saying - To the "Person" that found my neck lace "Thank you" and then she had flowers delivered to some of the other women here
But when it was found out that I was the "Person" who had found the necklace the note was taken down and thrown away
But hey, why give credit where credit is due especially if that "Person" is someone who she has vehemently made hateful and bigoted comment upon?
Okay, so I got kicked in the face for doing the "Right Thing" :P So what's new?
What we do?
We live our lives as decent people.
That is what is important.
My little sister is supportive. Which is great. She might be the only one in the family who "truly" is.
I don't want to seem ungrateful. But she's the sort of person who is robotically optimistic about everything. Brexit? We'll get through it. Recession? Things always work out in the end somehow. UK protests about trans in the bathroom? Cross that bridge when you get to it.
She fields every issue like a tennis player, just knocking them out of the court with this bizarre dismissive optimism. I mean optimism is great if you're surrounded by miserable people, but sometimes I wonder if she even believes this stuff she says or it's just some reflex action due to her own anxiety. As someone who doesn't think the outlook is that great, it's disconcerting.
Quote from: Cindy on June 28, 2016, 06:16:26 AM
What we do?
We live our lives as decent people.
That is what is important.
True
It just kinda hurts
I was seen as and praised for being a kind, respectful and helpful person that people would come to for help until they figured out that I was...
"One of them queer people"
Suddenly things changed
Oh well, Haters gonna hate
I think we are not the queer people, we are the understanding people.
The others are the strangest ones they hate for no reason. They do nothing for no reason.
What you do is love.
Makes you very special.
Thank you
Just feeling kinda flat right now
Unhappy: Went through another situation where my partner is being unsupportive and not understanding-- this time about my mental illnesses. I came on here first thing in the morning and talked about it on a post. I was miserable when I first posted it---
Happy: ---But I've calmed down now and have decided to do what's right for me. This website is amazing when you're waiting for therapy or don't have any other resources. I just wish I had some offline resources and trans friends in the city. If there were a transgender parenting group that would be perfect...
This is a tough one... but somebody who was once quite cruel to me & one of my kids has landed himself in very hot water. I won't go into specifics of who he is or what he does for a living, but he's a professional who works with children... and he's just been arrested on child pornography charges.
I'm horrified that this guy managed to worm himself into a position of authority over children. And my thoughts go out to the poor kids who this guy is alleged to have violated, who are at the core of this entire debacle. I'm relieved that my kids weren't directly affected by this, but that hardly matters because at the end of the day someone's kids clearly were involved.
And yet? Whilst the circumstances are awful, I must admit I'm delighted to see this toe-rag finally get his come-uppance. I never liked the man. There was always something 'off' about him, and whenever I met with him, he would always dismiss my concerns with an arrogant sneer.
Well, he's not sneering now, is he?
Quote from: FTMDiaries on July 01, 2016, 04:52:45 AM
This is a tough one... but somebody who was once quite cruel to me & one of my kids has landed himself in very hot water. I won't go into specifics of who he is or what he does for a living, but he's a professional who works with children... and he's just been arrested on child pornography charges.
I'm horrified that this guy managed to worm himself into a position of authority over children. And my thoughts go out to the poor kids who this guy is alleged to have violated, who are at the core of this entire debacle. I'm relieved that my kids weren't directly affected by this, but that hardly matters because at the end of the day someone's kids clearly were involved.
And yet? Whilst the circumstances are awful, I must admit I'm delighted to see this toe-rag finally get his come-uppance. I never liked the man. There was always something 'off' about him, and whenever I met with him, he would always dismiss my concerns with an arrogant sneer.
Well, he's not sneering now, is he?
Too many people who harm children get away with it. It's good to hear about somebody like that getting caught.
Quote from: WarGrowlmon1990 on July 01, 2016, 08:31:26 AM
Too many people who harm children get away with it. It's good to hear about somebody like that getting caught.
It is, isn't it? The sad fact that cannot be changed is that he was already doing what he was doing - and had probably been getting away with it for some time. So the only silver lining here is that he has now been caught, and his mask of respectability has been ripped away... along with his precious career. Guilty or innocent, he probably won't be able to work with kids ever again - and considering how he treated my family and many others, that can only be a good thing.
I don't know who turned him in to the authorities (although I do have my suspicions), but they're an absolute hero, whoever they are.
All about work seeing I live there now..
Having to delay a long earned holiday due to work.
Dealing with offshore people who have no deal what they are doing. Seriously! How hard can it be?
Now have over 65 day AL owing and going for more in that my holiday is all time in lieu.
How did that happen ???
There is open mutiny in my old work team. They want me to take over from someone who in their words is hopeless.
I have 80% of the team saying if things don't change they will all resign.
Told them to speak to HR about their concerns and not to do anything rash.
What a mess.
My friend says that one of me is too much. :D
Oh the joy to be unwanted.
Midnight global meetings that go most of the night do nothing for sleep patterns. :icon_sleep:
On the good side
Had to give a presentation to a 100$B client. Scary? No not at all. I nailed it and for the first time the client smiled.
Had 2 days notice and to learn what I was demoing. Seems like a few senior people noticed as well.
Got a write up about the new product I have built with a few others and it was called global market leading.
Bit unexpected but that's why I have been working 80 hour weeks.
Oh finally went for a ride today and it was nice. About time.
I hated some things about working for a multinational, like unscheduled 2:00 a.m. calls from Japanese associates who THINK that they speak English. The money was good, but I hated much of what I had to do to earn it.
Happy: I've lost a couple of kilos in weight, and I'm looking much better for it! :D
Unhappy: ... because I've been unwell recently. :(
Unhappy: My youngest baby is sick and has a fever. He woke up at five this morning and has been sleeping off and on. As a parent with anxiety, when these kids get a sudden fever I tend to worry.
Happy: My older son helped cheer the baby up by making funny monster noises. My youngest son laughed and I found myself laughing with them.
Getting my smile back due to a great dentist
My purse is £300 lighter!
Having some time to pamper and get dressed for me, and then having to get redressed for the world.
Sno
Happy: My babies are starting to feel better.
Unhappy: Now I'm starting to feel sick. x_x
Quote from: WarGrowlmon1990 on July 08, 2016, 07:48:22 AM
Happy: My babies are starting to feel better.
Unhappy: Now I'm starting to feel sick. x_x
Glad to hear your kids are doing better. And you get well soon too. :)
I was happy to be speaking with a great person in the chat and now I am unhappy that she is gone. I always mess stuff up. I've never been good at talking....
There's a quiz on Buzzfeed at the moment: basically, it's 'How well do you know the words to 'Fabulous' from High School Musical'?
I got full marks. Buzzfeed reckons I'm actually Sharpay Evans.
Now I love scoring full marks on quizzes (I'm uber-competitive) but urgh, did it have to be this one? The only reason why I know that song so well is because my eldest daughter was a massive fan of those movies, and when they were released on DVD she played them all. the. time. I had no rest from those movies for a couple of years.
I even knew that the song is actually from HSM2, not HSM as claimed by Buzzfeed.
Ye gods. ::)
Someone called the cops last night and told them someone was shooting a gun off in our apt. building so there were suddenly cops everywhere looking around and holding their guns at the ready to draw if they had to
I didn't hear anything and it was pretty quite up until then, I thought to myself "What a stupid prank for someone to pull" Especially with all the resent shootings lately :P Then it dawned on me that I had just missed my window of opportunity at 'Suicide by Cop'
Oh well, maybe next time
Shrinkage.
TMI Warning!
I had to pee.
I sat down and then couldn't dig it out fast enough because of shrinkage.
I had to leave my hand in the way so that the pee would go down into the bowl, instead of where ever it felt like.
Oh dear! ::)
One of my rather unique (Bizarrely Estranged Lunatic) neighbors woke me up knocking on my door around 6:00 AM and started yelling crazy stuff, I just ignored it and went back to bed but then she came back about 6:30 and did it again
The police showed up about a half hour later and although I was tired I was actually glad to see them because I was trying to decide if I should file a report or not because she has a history of harassing people
Anyway I felt bad about having to make a report and I didn't get enough sleep :P
I woke up this morning with a peculiar situation. While my hubby was sound asleep, he woke me by molesting me. It felt great that he is attracted to me that much, and maintained my one boundary. On the flip side, he is incredibly strong, so it caused pain for the first time ever since we got married.
Quote from: Lady Sarah on July 14, 2016, 02:52:25 PM
I woke up this morning with a peculiar situation. While my hubby was sound asleep, he woke me by molesting me. It felt great that he is attracted to me that much, and maintained my one boundary. On the flip side, he is incredibly strong, so it caused pain for the first time ever since we got married.
My ex used to do that to me too, if he woke up in the middle of the night or early in the morning. Strangely, I found it both flattering and disturbing, and after doing some soul-searching I figured out why: it was because I hadn't consented. I was unable to consent, because I was asleep at the time. And sex without consent is never acceptable in my book.
I explained to my ex that whilst I was flattered that he found me attractive, I'm not comfortable with people having sexual contact with me without my consent. I explained that this could be considered a form of sexual assault (what he did to me was actually a form of rape) and that he needs to check with me first before initiating something.
He never did it again.
You might feel comfortable with what your hubby did (apart from the pain), but perhaps it might be an idea to sit down and have a conversation with him about what happened? So you can both agree to what sort of activities (and how much force) is acceptable within your relationship? And also so you can figure out why and how he's apparently able to do these things whilst 'sound asleep', and whether anything needs to be done about that.
Quote from: FTMDiaries on July 15, 2016, 05:19:08 AM
My ex used to do that to me too, if he woke up in the middle of the night or early in the morning. Strangely, I found it both flattering and disturbing, and after doing some soul-searching I figured out why: it was because I hadn't consented. I was unable to consent, because I was asleep at the time. And sex without consent is never acceptable in my book.
I explained to my ex that whilst I was flattered that he found me attractive, I'm not comfortable with people having sexual contact with me without my consent. I explained that this could be considered a form of sexual assault (what he did to me was actually a form of rape) and that he needs to check with me first before initiating something.
He never did it again.
You might feel comfortable with what your hubby did (apart from the pain), but perhaps it might be an idea to sit down and have a conversation with him about what happened? So you can both agree to what sort of activities (and how much force) is acceptable within your relationship? And also so you can figure out why and how he's apparently able to do these things whilst 'sound asleep', and whether anything needs to be done about that.
I did discuss it. He was asleep while doing it.
One of my neighbors showed up at my door asking me to call 911 for him
Apparently he had been doing antidepressants and gotten hold of some Vodka and tried to fight his way out of the paper sack and lost
He obviously had the DTs (Gnarly hangover from the bad place) ::)
He looked pretty bad off so I asked him in and told him to sit on my couch while I made the call
After making the call it dawned on me that all I was wearing was a bratop cami a pair of bikini undies and my favorite pair of heeled saddles, oh, and I was wearing lipstick and had my hair in a ponytail - It was one of those bed head side ponytails that I often wake up with
Great, I look like an 80's Barbie doll - Figured I should go put some clothes on before the EMTs showed up
Anyway I'm kinda looking after the guy and his dog for awhile until he stabilizes a bit more even though he's kinda pissed me off a few times in the past
Oh well, Nurse V M to the rescue again :P
*Update from the above post*
As it turns out, apparently I actually did save the guy's life because he didn't just have the DTs but he was actually suffering from alcohol poisoning from polishing off 750 ml bottles one after another
I'm not sure what brand it was but apparently
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thegrocerygirls.com%2Fmedia%2Fcatalog%2Fproduct%2Fcache%2F1%2Fimage%2F9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95%2Fs%2Fm%2Fsmirnoff-vodka-100-proof-750ml_1.jpg&hash=792cee4e44a7a2c9ec70786a1b1d81b8c17fbbcd) (https://tse3.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.Mc5c57eb8d7f8e4b1d00de103a611c574o0&pid=15.1&P=0&w=3%3Cbr%20/%3E200&h=200) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.oilersaddict.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F09%2FQuestionMarks.jpg&hash=8d2e96b39d381443e985cc51772876ee313d4beb)
Could kill you I guess
Anyway, he left a vase of flowers with a thank you note at my door today
Happy: Relieved to finally see my doctor today
Unhappy: I've got a feeling that the pains I've been experiencing lately are IBS or Crohn's, and may have to be referred to a specialist (and wait even longer until I find out what's going on)
Ran out of T and the pharmacy won't have my prescription until tomorrow. I know it's stupid but I can't help but worry that I'll feminize massively overnight. I'm also wondering if my lack of T is causing my tiredness today.
On the plus side I had a job trial today and it's still feels amazing and unreal that I get gendered correctly now with no problems. Even if it is as a 17 yr old. The woman at Costa call me Sir; although she called me 'love' as well which kinda implies that I have the 17yr old look; ah well ::)
I came out to one of my female friends today. I told her that I wanted top surgery and she asked if I was going to transition fully. I told her that I didn't know. It might have been the shortest coming out ever and one with the fewest words... and I am both happy and sad about it. Sometimes I want someone to ask me detailed questions and make me talk.
Now that she knows, I am out to most of my closest friends. They all knew I considered myself a guy so they are more surprised that I'm choosing now to transition at all.
Sent from my SM-G870W using Tapatalk
So my partner has been emotionally abusive for a long time. He's gotten better over the years, but when he gets mad he will go all out with the insults (calling me things like retard, ******* idiot, lumping me into a sexist category against women --being misgendered when he acts like this makes it all so much WORSE). I don't think he realizes the impact it's had on me over the years and I don't think we're gonna be together too much longer. I finally told my mom about the emotional abuse and she was understanding and supportive... but she ended up stereotyping cis guys and misgendering me. I was talking about how he feels neglected since I've given birth to his two youngest children, and she something like, "That's how all men are when they have kids. Us women have that maternal instinct and always put our children first."
I said, "Remember I'm a guy too and I've never been like that. Not all guys are the same."
She responded, "Yeah but you've always had that maternal instinct."
The further misgendering didn't impact me as much that time. I guess it's cause I felt relieved about opening up about the emotional abuse. I think later on I'll dwell on being misgendered, probably in the middle of the night when I have a bladder flare. That's been happening a lot lately.
Happy: I had my first gatekeeper interview today, so I am in the system to begin my medical transition.
Unhappy: It will be two and a half months before they can begin my assessment. And that's considered fast around here.
Good thing my Air Force experience taught me to be good at "hurry up and wait". But, damn, it took me 61 years to get here; I don't have that much time left.
Happy after my hour of electro is up; sad when I realize how much more electro I am going to need.
Posting my little intro just a bit more than a day ago set off a lot of a lot of "triggers" (to use the trendy word) in my mind; a lot more than I expected or was ready for.
The one relevant to the topic, is that I now know where the name in the back of my head that wants out, comes from, an event that locked the weird into my brain like quenching the steel of a sword. And I don't wish to carry a sword, I wish to bake bread for those I care for. Why does typing that bring tears?
Why is this brain, attached to this body? Does my frail mind have any right to pass judgment on the body that has performed flawlessly and endured such insult?
Why does it terrify me to type the name?
Happy that I'm back on the interview trail, unhappy that I have to jump into man-robes and remember not to out myself....
Sno
I left California because I was tired of dealing with the gang members, drug addicts and random violence only to find out that it is just as bad if not worse where I live now :-\ I probably should have stayed where I was because at least the weather was much better, but I possibly may not have ever met all the wonderful folks here at Susan's
TRIGGER WARNING - mention of past sexual assault
I've found a social media account for my old Primary School (ages 6-13) & was reminiscing about some of my old teachers & classmates. It was a bit of a blast from the past.
But then quite a few of the women who had attended my school started calling the then-Headmaster a 'pervert' and talked about him touching them up... especially the blonde ones. None the men who'd attended our school made any mention of it & they seemed puzzled that their former classmates were calling him a 'pervert'.
I thought I'd been the only one he'd done this stuff to.
The rules at the time were that your teacher could punish you in class but if you persisted in misbehaving, they'd send you to the Headmaster's office for punishment... and he had the authority to hit you more/harder. The Head was allowed to hit boys with a cane or ruler (known as getting 'jacks') but he could only hit girls with his bare hand. And that suited the dirty old man down to the ground.
I'd get into trouble with my teachers fairly frequently as I was unable to do my homework most of the time due to living in a violent, abusive environment, so I'd get sent to the Head's office for punishment every couple of months. Once there, he'd tell me off for whatever I'd apparently done, and then he'd get me to bend over & lift my skirt. He'd slap me several times with his hand, and then when he was done & I was crying with pain, he'd make me sit on his lap whilst 'rubbing my backside better', telling me how beautiful I was and how everything would be so much better if I could just behave myself. That's right: I got molested for being unable to do my homework due to being abused. Talk about adding insult to injury.
I didn't dare tell anyone. Not that anyone would have sympathised. I felt like I must've done something wrong, and he knew exactly how far to go without leaving evidence of something for which he could be prosecuted. So I buried it & carried on with my life. But what did I read today? Story after story, particularly from former blonde girls, of him spanking them & getting them to sit on his lap, fondling their backsides like he did with mine. I, of course, presented as a blonde girl in those days. So yeah. The boys remember the jacks, and the girls (and ex-girl) remember being molested.
So. I'm obviously unhappy at having these bad memories dredged up. I feel reassured & vindicated (but also horrified) that I'm not the only one to have suffered in this way, and in a very strange way it's comforting to know I'm not the only survivor of his abuse. But I shudder to think of all those innocent kids he molested over the decades that he was at that school.
What made me happy today was I was back on my H R T again and that it gives me a big boost every morning when I look in the mirror and see a happy face What made me unhappy was that I did not have any girl socks I have been picking up tank tops with built in bra's and shorts and pajamas panties but forgot about the socks to go with my tennis shoes I need to throw out the gray tube socks lol
Thinking about yesterday:
Unhappy: A customer gave me $5.00 in coins.
Happy: I was able to get rid of them by giving them to another customer. My change drawer was low, and that was the only change I was able to give that lady.
Unhappy: I got a call from Land Rover to tell me the specifications have changed for the 2017 model Range Rover Evoque I ordered and they couldn't get my order in for a 2106 model in time. That means they can't honor the price I was quoted when I signed on the dotted line so I've had to cancel the order so I'm not having a Range Rover :(
Happy: I am having another Volvo instead!! I love my Volvo's and have decided to revert to type and buy another one of them. Instead of a new order I have found one of the last of the current model year V60's before they stopped making them last month. Comes with all the toys and a huge portion off new price. I collect it Sunday :)
Unhappy: a cat of mine recently passed. It's kinda hard not to cry thinking about her sometimes cuz she was such a sweetie.
Happy: In the mail today, her memorial plaque came so the family and I get to honor her and pay our respects. We're gonna buy flowers and spread her ashes around her favorite spots (yes, we cremated her cuz they're never "just" cats/dogs/animals!)
Sorry to hear of your cat's passing, glad you found a nice way to honor her
What was your cat' s name?
Hugs
her name was Pep Pep! she was an absolute doll, a petite little tuxedo cat. thank you so much for your condolences :angel:
Quote from: V M on August 19, 2016, 06:51:01 PM
Sorry to hear of your cat's passing, glad you found a nice way to honor her
What was your cat' s name?
Hugs
Today I had an appointment with my PCP. I don't have insurance and am well aware that my bill is increasing. With everything else I simply cannot pay them right now. Unfortunately that bird came home to roost today. I was told that I simply couldn't be seen until I pay my previous bill and during the whole discussion between the receptionist and billing I was being referred to as he. Not their fault, I'm in the records that way. I was definitely not presenting as a man and. I was definitely clouding up. The receptionist went to speak to my doctor and came back saying he would see me anyway.
I was weighed and measured as usual. My blood pressure was 130 over 70 despite my distress. Then the dear man came in, saying he was going to get in trouble over me. I thanked him for taking the risk. And clouded up again, happy this time, when he said it was nothing. If it was his practice, he said, (it's one of those huge groups), he would tell them SHE can come see me whenever, regardless. I love that man!
We talked about my health, and I commented that I would like, when I have medical insurance again, (which may be soon), to have a bi-lateral orchiectomy and then maybe try a different BP med. Spironolactone serves two purposes for me. He told me he likes the way it's controlling my BP and he had evidence from other patients who had had orchiectomies, that the spiro would enhance feminization even in the absence of testicles. I won't argue. I think I'll skip the orchie and bet on the next administration making transgender care mandatory for insurance companies. I asked about how being female in their system would complicate my treatment going forward. He said it wouldn't, even if I needed work on the plumbing. I said I would talk to the desk about it and he said that he would handle it. As he walked out the door he said, see you in six months, my girl.
On the whole I'm happy, but I had a bad scare and I would really like to sleep through the night again.
Tomorrow I set up a payment plan.
When I went to bed last night Poopie lay down next to me, almost 3 hrs later I was still rubbing his belly & ears. I spent much of the time crying, i'm sad that i'll be losing him soon but happy that I know just how precious each & every moment like this now is.
Today I came to appreciate the domestic roles I had managed to assume over the years for my family, but then I looked at my sink, its a fairly old style, ceramic over iron, and it is scarred in many places, the ceramic broken and chipped off from years of me redirecting overflowing rage at the nearest inanimate object. That rage left me, when the T left me; but the scars it left are everywhere.
I had my first session yesterday with a therapist for my homrmone-readiness assessment. She doesn't anticipate any problems getting my letter after a couple more visits.
I feel a tad guilty for "jumping the queue" by going to a private therapist. Here in Canada, there has been much talk over the years about a "two-tiered" medical system. As a socialist at heart, I object in principle to the existence of an alternate system for the rich. Everyone should be able to get in with only a few day's wait. But, damn, I just couldn't see waiting another three months for my appointment, and then who knows how much longer for followups, so I paid.
Guilt aside, I am happy to be moving forward.
Happy: got told ill be getting a letter for T!
Unhappy: it's in 2 weeks :'(
I know I shouldn't be so impatient, but it's hard when it's right in front of your face!
~David
A change in my dosing is allowing me to go from a C cup to a D cup, gradually. This means I'm going to have to buy new bras, and donate the old ones again.
Unhappy- had an anxiety ep at my new job so had to finish early. I explained the reason to my manager so now he probably thinks I'm crazy and useless.
Happy- bought some fem clothes and nail polish with the money I received from an article I wrote for an online trans magazine.
Happy - My spouse is making an effort to take care of me at home, while I'm laid up from surgery.
Unhappy - She can't cook worth a damn. Not even instant oatmeal. Dear, I know you poured the packet in a bowl and added water. It really should be HOT water, though, or microwaved until boiling.
Unhappy: I've got another head cold.
Happy: My 3 year old and 1 year old are making monster noises at each-other and entertaining themselves. I think I've been doing too many gollum impressions around them ;D
Happy: I went to McDonald's with my mother and nephew today. I was making zero effort, not even wearing my binder, with my hair up in a very small ponytail, and the cashier referred to me as "sir". Most of the time, when I'm in public with my family, I feel that people just avoid trying to apply a gender to me at all out of fear of being mistaken, because I try so hard to cloak myself and hide my true identity from my loved ones (it works, sadly. They're VERY oblivious), so this really boosted my self-esteem and alleviated a bit of my dysphoria.
Unhappy: I am still stealth to my family, despite being on hormones for almost half a year now. My nephew reacted by laughing at me, as he saw it as something I should feel embarrassed of. My mother reacted with fury towards the cashier and death glared her so hard, I was shocked that she didn't shoot angry lasers from her eyes and turn her into a pile of ash on the spot. She didn't open her mouth to correct her, but there's no doubt in my mind that after a look so venomous, the cashier knew.
Today my Poopie returned home, he now sits on a shelf with his collar & lead, his favourite toy (a pink pig that goes oink) & his brush.
I've been on a diuretic forever...
Happy: I finally realized that taking it in the evening before bed was a dumb idea (10 bathroom trips while trying to sleep... bah)
Unhappy: It took me a decade+ to figure out this incredibly difficult concept.
Last night on the way home from work my brakes failed. With careful driving and judicious use of my parking brake I made it the last short distance home.
This morning I took the tire off and checked the driver's side. One of my brake pads had completely disintegrated so I set off, (in the other car) to buy a replacement set.
Here's where it shifts from tedious and annoying.
I went into AutoZone where I had last bought pads and told the clerk what I needed. He was quite impressed by a woman who does her own brake work and talks knowledgeably about it.
If you can go into an auto parts store, convince them you know what you're doing and still not get misgendered then you have arrived!
Been a while since I last posted as I struggle with it all.
Work has been a pain with so much going on, I hate it and want to find a new job.
Been there over 5 years and they just don't seem to appreciate what I do.
I like that even on low dose E I am beyond the titting point.
Very hard to keep hiding in plain sight as I am her 100% of the time at home.
Body is now well changed and I love it one way and hate it another.
I love how breast feel in a well fitting bra and the shape it gives.
And it that time of the year again.
J
FedEx guy just handed me the pad to sign and I immediately started writing my old name. >:(
It is funny, though! :laugh: Old habits die hard.
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Jenny07 on October 02, 2016, 01:19:21 AM
I am beyond the titting point.
That is the best Freudian typo I've seen in a while. :D
I've spent 72 hours straight as myself, just doing little chores, shopping at Target, Trader Joes, Cost Plus. I had dinner out last night by myself, alas, but no problems. I just lived my life as myself, and that made me happy.
I like being me. :)
My family had been out of town, but they just got home, and I'm happy to see them as well.
Alas, for the moment, all good things must end. While out to my family, they don't want to see ME. They want the old male persona back, so shortly before they returned, I took myself apart, had a little cry, and then cross dressed as a male so they would be happy with 'me'. Right now I'm pretty down, damn dysphoria.
I'll be better soon, although at some cost to me. That makes me unhappy at the thought of the loss of family and friends, but excited at the thought of moving forward, to make new friends, and perhaps someday a new family.
There I go again, living the roller coaster lifestyle...
First laser treatment on the face today. Yay!
But ouch!
Apartment hunting. Seeing the possibilities, and thinking about what might be nice to have in a new neighborhood is fun.
The price tags, though... Eeep! Nice or desirable means expensive. Affordable means YUCK!
My upper canine teeth didn't develop as expected back in the day and they remain lodged somewhere inside my skull. In order to get braces and gain any glimpe of having a beautiful smile I was told I had to get them surgically removed.
One of them was done today (for some reason they won't remove both on the same operation). It was aggressive, uncomfortable, painful and long :( but I'm one step closer to having a smile :)
(Maybe offtopic, I know, but I'm putting this dental stuff into the same bucket as my whole transformation. I probably wouldn't fix my mouth if I were to remain a nontransitioning AMAB)
I hear that, Fresas! Back in the day, even before I realized that I'm a woman I didn't care what I looked like. That should have been a hint, I suppose.
I am off to the salon to have my regular leg wax this afternoon and will have lovely smooth legs again. ;D ;D ;D
Had to remove my purple toenail polish and since summer is here my wife wants me to wear jandals so no more coloured polish until Autumn :( :( :(
Hope this does creep anyone out too much.
Got honest empathy to work today, very happy to nibble away at more of the damage.
Browsing the news.... empathy is amazingly painful.
Quote from: becky.rw on November 03, 2016, 09:31:42 PM
Hope this does creep anyone out too much.
Got honest empathy to work today, very happy to nibble away at more of the damage.
Browsing the news.... empathy is amazingly painful.
Sorry Becky,
I am unsure of what you mean?
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Sorry, was a puddle at the time. When I was stuck in a Testosterone dominant environment, it pretty much broke my access to what I now know as the regular range of emotion and social communication. I could "fake" it to some extent but I'd never make it, as it were.
Sometimes, I'm finding the experience very good, but very painful. Being able to really feel how other people feel when I read a story about a family involved with childhood cancer for instance...
Today I had my first mammogram and my wife had her forth.
Happy: Right of passage of having a mammogram, getting asked when my last menstrual cycle was by the technician, after explaining I don't have a uterus, she asks when did I have a hysterectomy, and they finally saying that I wasn't born with a uterus, I'm transgender.
Unhappy: Mammograms make your boobies sore, especially the side one, ouch and they are still super sensitive and a tad sore.
Very Unhappy: My wife has had a fibrous mass on her left breast that's been there for years and harmless and the doctor ordered a sonogram with her mammogram this year to make sure that area stays that way. The sonogram technician didn't like what she saw on her right breast by the nipple area. She's not allowed to say anything, but her reaction and her scanning detail in just one area concerned both of us. We will know more On Tuesday. Hopefully it's nothing.
Unhappy- kinda obvious what that would be.
Happy- after much deliberation got my navel pierced. Hurt more than I thought it would but feels good that I'm regaining control of my body and care about it more than I did in the past.
unhappy,dad not still loving accepting Clarissa in
Happy,a shopping trip with my sister this weekend
My car has an "Equality" sticker on it's bumper, my neighbors know I'm trans and some of them are Confederate flag waving rednecks. Yesterday I drove it with no problem. This morning I left for work at 4:30 and by the end of my half hour ride the steering wheel was shuddering. After work when I inspected the car and found that the lug nuts on my left front wheel had all been loosened and the vibration this caused tore three of the lugs out. It had to have been deliberate. Nothing there to be happy over, however:
She posted, "Indeed it does. We're waiting for the estimate to fix it. If it's just the basic parts we're looking at $200. But if the wheel has to be replaced it can be a lot more. And of course I'm flat broke right now so this really hurts.
Add in Dion's schedule vs mine and that it's 45 minutes from my job to hers, well it's going to be a total pain until we get his car back."
"Hers" first time ever, and I don't even mind the "his" later in.
That's terrible Dee
Not only would that be considered vandalism, but it could also be construed as attempted murder
What if you had become involved in an accident in which there were one or more fatalities?
Not only does this type of vandalism put your life at risk but it puts the lives of the general public at risk as well
Being that it was the left front wheel this could have caused you to veer into oncoming traffic
Anyone could be inside the oncoming vehicles, a mother with a car load of children, an elderly couple, a family man with a family to support
Possibly the next time you have more funds it would be a consideration to look into a some sort of surveillance system so you have a recorded record with a date and time stamp of who is getting up to mischief
Please be safe
Hugs
The complex already has plans for parking lot cameras. We just don't have them yet. I'm well aware of how dangerous this was. There's little for the police to go on.
Here I am again, sorry! (This one's good though, promise!)
Lately I've been seeing every flaw, although, to be truthful, these are not new and they get fewer every day.
Today I heard a coworker speaking some distance behind me, "they're over there, near that gentleman." I turned and the customer was walking towards me. I responded, "he gave you good advice, but I'm not a guy."
The. Customer said, "I don't know how he could mistake you for a guy", and I said, " well, he doesn't know me all that well and was looking at me from the back ".
The customer said, " even from the back you look nothing like a man."
I don't? News to me, good news, but news!
I have an original "SAVE THE PLANET, LOVE ALL-SERVE ALL" Hard Rock CAFE refrigerator magnet that I have had for who knows how many years, (20-30 years or so) it's a bit tattered and broken into three pieces and I use it to hold my most current receipt
Well, this morning when I wondered half awake into the kitchen to make coffee I accidentally brushed up against it which of course knocked the bottom piece and retained receipt off to mysterious places
I searched and searched under the table, the refrigerator, even under the oven ??? I found the receipt but alas, no half a refrigerator magnet :-\
Finally this evening, I noticed that I had spilled a bit of coffee which had run under the microwave so I went to clean it up
Low and behold, there it was my beloved half a magnet :eusa_dance:
I almost began to believe that there is a god but did't want to get too carried away
My second job is becoming my only job! They offered me full time and are running me ragged getting a full client list in place by the end of the year so I can quit Walmart. Simultaneously exciting and terrifying! Their confidence and level of being impressed with me is really intimidating! They offered me a sweetheart of a deal that will at least double my income and get me benefits.
A lot to live up to!
My so-called husband has announced that he's moving out in the new year, and he's taking one of our kids with him.
So I've lawyered up. >:-)
Day off
Day off cancelled
Quote from: Fresas con Nata on October 27, 2016, 01:13:23 PM
My upper canine teeth didn't develop as expected back in the day and they remain lodged somewhere inside my skull. In order to get braces and gain any glimpe of having a beautiful smile I was told I had to get them surgically removed.
One of them was done today
Second one today.
:( No one likes dental stuff. Today was faster and easier but uncomfy anyway.
:) Closer to braces, closer to smiling!
Quote from: big kim on December 19, 2016, 04:16:32 AM
Day off
Day off cancelled
Epitomizes the topic!
I finally have (self-purchased) health insurance!
We've had a new storm roll in so it's snowing like Christmas out (Fancy that)
Anyway, just got in from helping various neighbors and a few other folks, glad I was able to help out but now feel a bit worn and seem to have developed a sore throat and earache
I have had the self concept that I was a freak in my lifetime. The bad part is that any human being should ever feel that way. It is also sad that many out there would call me, a M to F full time trans woman a freak now. The good news is I realized today that the only reason I ever had a legitimate reason to consider myself a freak was when I was in total denial of my truth. The good, happy part is that there is nothing freakish about who and what I am. I am thinking the only freaks are the haters who have nothing better to do than make people feel bad. The word "freak," I dismiss you. I said, "Good day!"
Monica
Indicator warning light not working on my bike. Thought replacing a bulb will be no problem. Doesn't have a bulb it's a built in LED on a circuit board. New circuit board needed ( thankfully still under warranty)
Last night we had drinks at the neighbours and I was stunned when their 8yr old said you have sparkly toes!!! I was like the proverbial stunned mullet and it took my awesome son to break the focus. He said he had painted my toes when I was asleep as he does this, yeah right. This seemed to dispel any focus but I was sweating soooo badly 2 people made comment. I loved someone noticing but felt so awkward as I was like a possum in headlights.
My wife said nothing until this morning when she said, I think you need to clean your toe nails.
I can get rid of the sparkles but will be putting clear polish on. :-))
Xmas could have been worse, but it could also have been better.
Once I left home it seemed a given I wasn't going to belong there again.
Not really so much "unhappy". I had to keep myself from laughing at the man.
I interviewed two new clients today. The first is great and I'm taking her on.
The second, though...
I walked in and introduced myself. He had his music AND television way too loud. He turned them down and I repeated my introduction. He immediately replied with "I don't want you, I want eye candy" then turned his music back up. His aide then called his wife on the phone and put me on with her. I told her, "it's not going to work out. Evidently I'm not sexy enough for him." She apologized and I left.
When I got to the car I started laughing. At least he didn't misgender me. Good luck finding someone willing to work with him, the sexist <expletive deleted>! Most people in my field are women, self respecting, and few of them are Hooters material.
Today is a bittersweet day. Walmart has been my nest, my crucible. I've worked here for a good portion of my medical transition. I rarely get misgendered anymore and my confidence has improved drastically.
This is my last day there and I'm going to greatly miss all the accepting people, particularly the women, who accepted me into their lives, their hearts and not least of all their restrooms, even when my attempts at being the woman I am were laughable at best.
On Monday I return full time to the work I love best, helping people with handicaps make their lives a little better.
So, I'll miss where I've been but look forward with excitement to the near future, something I haven't done in far too long.
Go get 'em, girl! :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Courage, Dee!
Today..good and bad.
Good:
I drove my motorbike to the beach and hiked along the shore to photograph birds.
Bad:
No birds. Too much flooding, I guess. Storms swept in and soaked me, several times, despite my wearing a rain jacket. Also, red flags flapping, warning against swimming. Wouldn't want to swim anyway in those violent waves.
Appointment at the GIC yesterday.
:) Psychological evaluation is over, next steps are informed consent and blood work, yay!
:( I had already those steps done with gendergp.co.uk and I even had a prescription already, but now I'll have to wait because I need to have clean blood for the GIC tests. No, I didn't tell them about gendergp, I was planning to do so on my next visit, but then surprise!!
Randi's always had trouble gendering me correctly in front of strangers.
This evening we went to dinner when we finished and the server came back she said,
"She gets the check".
Gendered me correctly while sticking me with the bill!
Quote from: Dee Marshall on February 07, 2017, 09:18:02 PM
Randi's always had trouble gendering me correctly in front of strangers.
This evening we went to dinner when we finished and the server came back she said,
"She gets the check".
Gendered me correctly while sticking me with the bill!
Still a win! :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Im being sent to las vegas as part of a 'Leadership' conference for journey persons in my trade..
The downside is missing my girlfriend and having to wear my 'uniform' the whole time aka boy mode..
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on February 08, 2017, 06:10:56 AM
Still a win! :)
Hugs, Devlyn
I found it hugely hilarious. Sticking me with the check was no big deal. We have a tradition between us that the one most recently paid pays when we go out.
Day off
Day off cancelled again
Not really sure if I should be happy or unhappy, not sure if it matters if I have any feelings or not :-\
Got rejected for merc work, guess business is slow and apparently I am considered to be too old now :-\
It was a day of weird luck. Early this morning before heading out to a client I managed to hit myself in the face with a snow brush and scratch my lower eyelid. When I got to the client my scarf blew off and I had to chase it down the street. When walking to his front door I slipped on some ice, sprawled on the pavement, scraped up the back of my right hand and broke my sunglasses. That's the bad luck.
After an hour or so the client asked to run an errand and I agreed to take him. When we returned a tree limb, perhaps 8 inches across had fallen and was stretched across his street. We marveled over it, parked elsewhere and walked up to his apartment. His aide said she had seen the limb fall from his window.
She then commented that I had been parked in that very spot before we went out.
If he hadn't asked to run an errand!
I had my 6 month post treatment PET scan today. They take a long time and I was worried and tired. As usual the staff were lovely and sweet, except for a male radiographer was trying to chat me up but I wasn't in the mood and I think he went sour on me. He wanted to do a repeat scan and that got me worried that he had seen something or was just checking.
Now I have to wait until Monday to see the results.
Waiting waiting waiting - I knew I should have asked for a copy to be sent to me but thought I would do the right thing by the team.
Good luck sis
We're all behind you, Cindy!
Got a sore throat; not sure if it's the start of a cold or because my voic3 is dropping again. Hoping it's the latter.
this internet link is poo, dumps my reply's, took photo of my legs to post on phon cant get it to down load. I hate technology . made me happy, cooked a black bean sauce stirfry that was very tasty and dress up in skirt and patterned top,shame Icant post it!!
I ate a big bowl of yummy katsudon!
... and proceeded to get a terrible stomachache afterwards ::)
I finished my little dysphoria biography assignment for the therapist (3000 words, hope she has a lot of free time)
Letting that out and actually threading everything together from start to now was... upsetting to say the least. The chains of events, all the stupid things I did to hide or run from this. I shouldn't be tearing up like this, I'm not even on HRT yet! :laugh: :icon_cry:
But it needs to be done and it's for the best. Nobody said it would be easy, quite the opposite.
The last couple of days, my nipples have been really ouchy. The good news is that it means something is happening there.
Got the parts for the stage 1 tune up on my Sportster
Got the bill
I finally figured out why my pickup was making a funny noise when the front suspension cycled. Yay
It's because I was an idiot and forgot to install a couple of retaining clips for the front CV shafts, which I have of course lost over the last few years and the replacements won't be in until next week. Boo
More amused than happy:
A client wanted me to take him somewhere and said he needed a shower first. I agreed and said I'd wait in the kitchen.
A few moments later I heard the shower start, then he came into the kitchen wrapped only in a towel. "I'm a man and you're a woman", he said.
"And I'm a lesbian and you have absolutely nothing I care to see. Now go take your shower." He slunk off.
Unfortunately, he has antisocial personality disorder, a traumatic brain injury that makes his decision making suspect, belongs to a traditionally homophobic population, and has a gang history. If he ever realizes that I'm trans, I could be in real danger.
spending ages getting made up and taking a new photo for avatar , don't recognise myself !!!! whats made me unhappy is not being able to change photo on avatar
I'm getting some repair work done to my house's roof, but work commitments mean I'm unable to be on-site to supervise.
That means that my ex had to come round to keep an eye on the place & pay the builders (with my money, naturally). Bleh. :-\
But he brought our dog and one of our daughters with him, so I had a lovely hour or so with them. Yay! :D
A problem started today that causes a lot of dysphoria.
When I told my mom - an avid Pokemon GO player - about it, she said: "It simply means you don't have enough candies to evolve yet. Your evolutionary item is hormones... The testosterstone!" I laughed really hard!
Quote from: maksim on March 17, 2017, 06:13:24 PM
A problem started today that causes a lot of dysphoria.
When I told my mom - an avid Pokemon GO player - about it, she said: "It simply means you don't have enough candies to evolve yet. Your evolutionary item is hormones... The testosterstone!" I laughed really hard!
Big hug! Im sorry you had a bad day, but that's wicked cool about your mom! She's going to be your best ally.
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on March 17, 2017, 06:19:24 PM
Big hug! Im sorry you had a bad day, but that's wicked cool about your mom! She's going to be your best ally.
Hugs, Devlyn
Thanks! She's really coming around for sure. :)
I decided to get a slice of corned beef from the deli meats area of the supermarket to celebrate St. Patty's day
I could tell that the guy who came over to help me had a bit of an attitude and that made me a bit uncomfortable
I asked for just a quarter inch thick slice which he immediately questioned so I said "yes, you know, about the width of my pinky" and showed him the tip of my pinky finger
So he gives my a bit of a snarly look and cuts off an inch think slice which was much more than I wanted
When I told him I only wanted a quarter inch slice I could hear him mutter the "B" word under his breath and he asked if I wanted him to give it a bit of a trim
By this time I was rather nervous and said "No I'm okay, thank you"
As I was walking away I heard him tell one of his co-workers rather loudly "Can you believe that hoe? Blah blah blah..." and then I noticed that the co-worker and quite a few customers that happened to be around felt rather uncomfortable also
I don't know if he is on drugs, an aggro woman hater, having a bad day or what but I doubt he's going to last very long at that job
The funny part is that the slice of beef is the shape of the state of California, so I'm giggling a bit about being Godzirra and eating Calif. ;D
What makes me unhappy is my current situation, detailed here https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=203168.msg1958873.msg#1958873
But I'm happy because, since HRT, I can't maintain ANY level of depression for very long. Other than everything being in storage now, and me getting some rest, my situation, detailed above, is unchanged, yet at the moment I'm reasonably content and unstressed. And, by the way, that's despite having broken my mother's old vanity mirror which is older than me, while trying to get it into storage. It's in two pieces and once we're in a new place I'll cut a wall mirror and a hand mirror out of the pieces. Maybe do a mosaic with the remainder.
My mom decided not to take me to school to get my sister's bass fixed instead despite the fact that I've needed to go for about a week now.
On the plus side, I got to play a bunch of nice pianos at the music store! None of them were as nice as my baby at home though :)
I'm going to see one of my favorite shows in NYC this week, but I had to spend an arm and a leg to buy the ticket. Don't have a whole lot of spending money now, but it'll be worth it.
I've been pretty much bedridden for 6 months due to a spinal injury, and when my GIC doctor weighed me last Friday she revealed that I've managed to put on a couple of kilos during that time. I need to be within very specific weight parameters for bottom surgery, and I was within 3kg of my target last year when I injured my back. So six months of being sedentary, plus having to lose this additional 5kg, will have set my bottom surgery back by a year. :(
So yeah, clearly I need to get back to exercising... but whilst I've been recovering, one my gyms has been undergoing refurbishment which has made it very difficult for me to use it, and the other one closed down completely. So I've signed up for my local Council-operated gym so I can get back to working out again. By pure coincidence I turned up on their open day when they were running some special offers, so I didn't have to pay the joining fee and I'm paying about £15 per month less than I was paying my previous gym! :)
I had my induction last night & after that I did a brief workout: only 10 minutes on a bike at a very low intensity level. I was totally wiped out after what should've been an easy workout so I've lost pretty much all of my accumulated fitness. But I know I can rebuild it; I've done it before so I know I can do it again.
I'm going to visit my daughter and grand kids today.
I love visiting them but today I will be coming out to my daughter and son in law.
Butterflies and crocodiles
Hugs,
Jeanette
Hope it all goes well for you, good luck
I always leave my essays until the last couple of hours before submission, I've been doing this for 3 years now, why do I do this. Today's was the culmination of 3 and 1/2 weeks' reading which I basically didn't do until last night and then only bothered reading the first 3 chapters I picked to write on, typed some attempt up after dinner, sent it off to the tutor and hoped for the best.
Even more bizarre is that I've been getting consistently good grades for all of them.
I suppose (hope) the Summer exam will be harder. I've become pretty damn complacent. . .
I treated myself to two interesting beers at the local beer store.
They're not twist offs and the only opener we have in the hotel room is broken.
Honestly taking a shower it made me happy because i got a new shampoo and conditioner that smell simply lovely it made me sad because im still in the incorrect body which whenever i see myself nude it tends to depress me.
Quote from: Dee Marshall on March 25, 2017, 05:13:01 PM
I treated myself to two interesting beers at the local beer store.
They're not twist offs and the only opener we have in the hotel room is broken.
There is more than one way to open a bottle however I always carry a bottle opener on my keychain though I never use it. Long story but it was a gift from Budweiser.
http://www.wikihow.com/Open-a-Bottle-Without-a-Bottle-Opener
I solved a mystery today! I haven't been able to get my usual transfer of funds from where I have my retirement money to my bank account to work for a little while, which had me counting out slices of bread and and cans of soup in my pantry while sweating the rent.
Today I found out what had happened, and will be able to get to my funds again in time for the next rent check.
I'm going through a divorce, and awaiting the court orders that will let me split savings in joint accounts into accounts for me and my ex. It turns out that my ex couldn't help but tinker, and changed the address on the accounts to their residence. That triggered a security lockout on the account funds, blocking transfers out.
Hilarity ensued.
It will be All Better soon when either the lockout expires or that court order shows up. This is getting a bit old.
I was gendered correctly at the mall today!
... and then about ten minutes later in another store, a woman misgendered me and made multiple comments on my feminine body shape. But at least she helped me find a good pair of swim shorts!
I saw both of my kids on the weekend. I had a lovely chat with my eldest (mostly about RuPaul's Drag Race, as per usual) but my youngest couldn't get away quickly enough.
Teenagers can be such hard work!
Had to have another routine blood test this morning. But work just called and they can't turn the fire alarm off; so had to evacuate the building so no work :) :D
Got to the GP at last for blood test report, liver and kidney function ok , cholesterol level below 5, and she is referring me to Daventry GIC as the waiting list is shorter. That was the good bit BUT would not prescribe me any HRT unless self medicating . Will have to go to Gender GP and buy some but moneys tight and I need Electrolysis. Now I need a hug
Quote from: davina61 on April 06, 2017, 12:54:21 PM
Got to the GP at last for blood test report, liver and kidney function ok , cholesterol level below 5, and she is referring me to Daventry GIC as the waiting list is shorter. That was the good bit BUT would not prescribe me any HRT unless self medicating . Will have to go to Gender GP and buy some but moneys tight and I need Electrolysis. Now I need a hug
Huggggs! Sorry it can only be virtual.
cheers Dee I could feel it before I logged on, cheered myself up wearing my new dress and trying to iron a fitted sheet and duvet powered by a large glass of red
Quote from: davina61 on April 06, 2017, 12:54:21 PM
Got to the GP at last for blood test report, liver and kidney function ok , cholesterol level below 5, and she is referring me to Daventry GIC as the waiting list is shorter. That was the good bit BUT would not prescribe me any HRT unless self medicating . Will have to go to Gender GP and buy some but moneys tight and I need Electrolysis. Now I need a hug
(((((HUGGGGGG)))))7
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Unhappy: Got a call from a collection agency for Sprint because they didn't credit my account for the returned phones that we leased (after we switched to T-Mobile) and I don't really owe them any money. (Thankfully I kept the receipt of the return.)
Happy: Despite me yelling and being upset, I still was gendered female the entire time.
Well I'm glad I got my diving gear back, I can get back to it
I may have to watch my blood count more closely though. Apnea can raise the RBC count, as does T.
Found a great Sportster 1200R for sale
Someone already bought it by the time I called
Almost settled into the new appartment. Docs happy with my horomone levels and all other biological functions are normal. No red flags.
However with Easter work is scraping back our hours again and Its going to be a very tight month...
Sent from my LG-H812 using Tapatalk
Went to my endo appt. It was a bit of a fiasco but ended well
First the transport driver was late picking me up, then the Dr. I visited the day before to get my referral approved spaced on faxing said approval letter so I wasn't then sure if I'd be seen or not
Some phone calls were made and I did get seen, but then the Dr. was asking me rather odd questions and I felt like I had prove that I was actually transgender
Then when I called the transport driver to be picked up he didn't respond and I started to wonder if I would be stranded and have to find some other way home, that would be a long walk and folks aren't real hep on picking up hitch hikers around here
Well, he finally showed and I did get home
On a high note, the gal who sets appt.s is an Aussie and a sweet dear rather cheery to chat with me a bit while setting my next appt. ;D
I got my appointment for the endo after passing my final for English with an A! It's this Friday!
I then went to a really neat store that sells gemstones, and I got a cool tumbled sodalite. But when I paid and was leaving, the woman said to me and my sister: "Have a nice day, ladies!" No fun.
But it didn't ruin my day luckily!
Sorry for the double post, but I thought I'd share.
Today marked the start of a very rough upcoming week for me. I've cried a ton because of dysphoria and just general mental upset.
But while I cried, my mom held me and listened and talked me through it, and assured me that I'm not going to deal with this for much longer now that I've started T. Not only was she so caring in that way, she also went to Walmart to get me some supplies, including chocolate and some more KT tape for binding to relieve some of my chest dysphoria.
I'm so thankful for my mom!
I got a new haircut today and was "sirred" twice (Yay!) But both times the person apologized after noticing my chest. I really want top surgery but it's probably another 2 years to wait. :(
Sent from my SM-G870W using Tapatalk
I was properly gendered in court today.
But...
I had to go to court.
A very unpopular colleague is getting married, and a congratulatory card has been passed round the office for everyone to sign, along with an envelope for contributions towards a wedding gift. Before it came to me, there was so little money in the envelope that it equated to a generous(!) 88p per person. For our foreign readers, that's about the price of a can of Coke.
I was in two minds about what to do with my contribution. I usually give £5, but sometimes I'll give less if I don't get on with the person (or if they've been particularly nasty to me). I have strong views on this particular person, and I have evidence that they've tried to back-stab me several times over the years. But matching my colleagues' paltry contributions seemed a bit mean to me, and my usual fiver felt a bit much for this particular individual... so I decided to double their donations and rounded it up to £2.
A happy medium. But sheesh, it's still not nice to see that somebody is so disliked that people can't spare more than the cost of a can of Coke for their special day. :-\
I was up early today for a CT scan, for measurements of the skull and jaw.
I was happy because this was a step forward in eventually correcting a half-century of testosterone damage to the bones and cartilage of the face.
I was unhappy because I had to peel off my hair for the scan, a big dysphoria trigger. I got home and changed from the simple dress and leggings to an almost genderless jeans and pullover top, as I just wasn't comfortable in the dress any more. (We MtF folks know THAT effect...) I'll do some meditation for a few hours to try and get my head back together.
I crashed on my bicycle the other day :P A really pretty girl and a small black man stopped to see if I was okay
Felt a little embarrassed and got a bit banged up but was glad to know that there are still some people who care in this world
Found a wonderful new transgender-focused podcast! Realized I have a long way to go.
Quote from: davina61 on April 06, 2017, 12:54:21 PM
Got to the GP at last for blood test report, liver and kidney function ok , cholesterol level below 5, and she is referring me to Daventry GIC as the waiting list is shorter. That was the good bit BUT would not prescribe me any HRT unless self medicating . Will have to go to Gender GP and buy some but moneys tight and I need Electrolysis. Now I need a hug
((((HUGS)))) and another ((((((HUGS))))))
Laurie
Quote from: Michelle_P on May 18, 2017, 11:53:41 AM
I was up early today for a CT scan, for measurements of the skull and jaw.
I was happy because this was a step forward in eventually correcting a half-century of testosterone damage to the bones and cartilage of the face.
I was unhappy because I had to peel off my hair for the scan, a big dysphoria trigger. I got home and changed from the simple dress and leggings to an almost genderless jeans and pullover top, as I just wasn't comfortable in the dress any more. (We MtF folks know THAT effect...) I'll do some meditation for a few hours to try and get my head back together.
Sounds like you need a hugs too Michelle.
(((((HUGS)))))
Laurie
I'm losing weight. Yay! :D
... because I've got a tummy bug. Boo! :(
My fifth T shot was today, and Saturday will be one month I've been on T!
But there were some stubborn air bubbles in the syringe that WOULDN'T come out no matter how hard I flicked it, and now my fingers are sore from flicking it so much. But I managed to get the bubbles out eventually!
Quote from: maksim on May 25, 2017, 01:02:43 PM
My fifth T shot was today, and Saturday will be one month I've been on T!
But there were some stubborn air bubbles in the syringe that WOULDN'T come out no matter how hard I flicked it, and now my fingers are sore from flicking it so much. But I managed to get the bubbles out eventually!
I dub thee Sir Bubbleflicker of York, Master of Testosterone. ;D
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on May 25, 2017, 01:07:27 PM
I dub thee Sir Bubbleflicker of York, Master of Testosterone. ;D
Hugs, Devlyn
Devlyn, you never fail to make me laugh! :laugh:
Happy- 2 weeks to go until my initial consultation for top surgery :) :)
Unhappy- having to go into college and having to work :(
Gave myself a good scare today :P I have what some folks refer to as a "Japostrat" because it is a Japanese made Stratocaster
I bought it at a pawn shop for not much dollar because my U.S.A. Strat. had gotten lifted at a gig and I needed something to get me through during a financial pinch plus I had a gig lined up for that night
I put quite a bit of the day into getting it set up nice with the action and all, well low and behold it became my favorite go-to guitar to play gigs with
I tend to like to look over just to admire it, well this time I looked and it was not there
Talk about making yourself a bowl of instant freak-out :P I felt like King Kong while I nearly turned the place inside out and thought about calling the police to confront my neighbors (As if they would want to be bothered over a guitar)
I finally found the darn thing somewhere that I would not normally think to put it and now the world is safe again LOL
Heavy Sigh, Catches Breath
I'm happy because I'm finally getting to see a nutritionist to aid me in losing weight and being healthy!
I'm unhappy because I'm finally getting to see a nutritionist and that means I have to say goodbye to my sensory-safe foods, and my body is already jarred by the new diet she put me on.
Stepping off of the bird feeling a bit battle worn landing on the tarmac with no-one there to greet you and even your own family is rude and insulting towards you, but then you see the smiles of children and their mothers about town and think "Yes, it was all worthwhile"
A Greek man who owned a restaurant recognized me while I was in San Diego, it didn't matter what I ordered, it was on the house, What made me feel awkward is that he kept referring to me as Achilles
Not really a bad reference I guess but I didn't really understand it
(Yesterday) I was in the performance of a staged reading (as 7 characters) with Who Is My Neighbor? Inc., coLAB Arts and the NJ Pride Center of "The Laramie Project".
It was my first live performance on stage and exciting to work with several actors with a lot more experience and was a wonderful pleasure to be part of. However the content (about the Mathew Shepard incident that occurred in the 1990's in Laramie, Wyoming) was quiet heavy and now seems more relevant than it did this time last year.
Happy: I went to the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston and took in some art.
Unhappy: I went into the Henryk Ross exhibit (http://www.mfa.org/exhibitions/memory-unearthed). I lost track of time and ended up in tears like a lot of the other people there. I've been to Dachau, now I've seen Lodz. I just don't know how people can act like that to each other. :'(
Hugs, Devlyn
I was happy cause I spent the whole day with gf. Unhappy cause it rained all damn day. She totally loves rainy weather. Never could figure out what's up with that. ???
Happy- had my initial consultation for top surgery and was able to book the pre op appointment, surgery and post op appointment. Only 3 months to go :)
Unhappy- lost my debit card and was 30 mins late to the appointment due to trains being delayed or cancelled >:(
This is from a couple days back, but..
Happy: I'm staying at my grandparents' place, and a while back my grandmother and my cousin dug up a prom dress that used to belong to my aunt when she was around my age. And said dress is kept in a closet in the very room I'm staying in. I've managed to try it on a couple times, at night when everybody else in the house is soundly asleep.
Unhappy: The first night I tried it on, my grandpa went to get a drink in the middle of the night and was THIS close to seeing me. That situation didn't happen, thanks to me reacting quickly enough and managing to shut the lights before he realised I was still awake, but I really ought to be more careful. Also, I can't have the dress to myself, for obvious reasons, and because it doesn't entirely fit me size-wise.
So I set up shop online today, selling some of my old clothes and anime figures that I have no desire to keep anymore.
What made me happy was the fact that almost immediately, a girl messaged me showing interest in one of my rarest and most valuable figures! I now have $100 in my PayPal balance!
And what made me unhappy was that on Poshmark, someone seemed to be interested in my Doc Martens, but that wasn't the case. That would've meant another $88 in my PayPal! So of course I messaged her about details... She responded telling me that she'd meet me in 2-3 days at my house and pay me with a check while she picked up the boots, and that she'd pay $50 extra for me to hold them. She asked for my full name, address, and cell phone number. I told her "no, I ship things out and I only use PayPal." To which she offered to mail the check to me, which would still require me to give her my full address. When I insisted that I only took PayPal, she got irritated and left with a really rude message.
So I either narrowly avoided being kidnapped or murdered just now, or I lost a chance to make some money. Either way I'm not about to give out my address and full name, wtf.
Nasty customers never make for good business, I think you made wise decision to put them off
Quote from: maksim on June 13, 2017, 03:27:47 AM
So I either narrowly avoided being kidnapped or murdered just now, or I lost a chance to make some money.
Either that or you narrowly avoided being defrauded when the cheque bounced and you are left with no money and no merchandise and no way to contact or track down the buyer. Good move to send them on their way.
Quote from: KathyLauren on June 13, 2017, 03:31:53 PM
Quote from: maksim on June 13, 2017, 03:27:47 AM
So I either narrowly avoided being kidnapped or murdered just now, or I lost a chance to make some money.
Either that or you narrowly avoided being defrauded when the cheque bounced and you are left with no money and no merchandise and no way to contact or track down the buyer. Good move to send them on their way.
I had a bunch of checks taken and I closed the account within hours so I didn't lose any money. I am still waiting to see if somebody attempt to pass them for something like this. If you accept checks, you may want to use a PO box and then make it conditional that you wait two weeks before shipping the item to ensure the check clears. Now days, for the small seller, paypal is the way to go.
I'm a cosplayer, which means when I go to anime conventions, I dress up as an anime character. This is a small thing, but for a cosplayer like myself, its important
Good: I got my newest wig for my latest character in the mail a couple of days ago. I have shoulder-length dreadlocks that has taken me years to grow but it also meant I needed to buy a bangs piece for the back of the wig so I can hide it when I put it in a ponytail.
Bad: I tried on the wig with the bangs piece in the back for the first time soon after I got it. But, I noticed that my 'locs pushed up the wig after a few minutes so that it looked kind of like a helmet.
I'm hoping that I can fix it with bobby pins.
I'm still thrilled that I finally got the wig and bangs piece I've wanted for months!
Ryuichi
Sent from my SM-G930P using Tapatalk
Quote from: Ryuichi13 on June 14, 2017, 12:19:42 AM
Bad: I tried on the wig with the bangs piece in the back for the first time soon after I got it. But, I noticed that my 'locs pushed up the wig after a few minutes so that it looked kind of like a helmet.
I recommend looking up how drag queens achieve this: there are several who have dreads and they have various methods for wearing wigs over their dreads.
For example, Thorgy Thor also has long dreads, and she has various techniques for hiding them under her wigs. There's a
>-bleeped-< thread (https://www.
>-bleeped-<
Jaidynn Diore Fierce also has dreads, and she's made a tutorial vid on YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yBV8KOi5JA) about how she flattens them using pantyhose so she can top them with a wig. At the end of the vid, she's topped her long dreads with a short wig and it looks very convincing!
Quote from: FTMDiaries on June 14, 2017, 11:15:37 AM
I recommend looking up how drag queens achieve this: there are several who have dreads and they have various methods for wearing wigs over their dreads.
For example, Thorgy Thor also has long dreads, and she has various techniques for hiding them under her wigs. There's a >-bleeped-< thread (https://www.>-bleeped-<
Jaidynn Diore Fierce also has dreads, and she's made a tutorial vid on YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yBV8KOi5JA) about how she flattens them using pantyhose so she can top them with a wig. At the end of the vid, she's topped her long dreads with a short wig and it looks very convincing!
Thank you SO MUCH for the wig video! I watched it and even though my 'locs are thicker than Jayden's, I'm pretty positive that this method will work for me! *hugs you* [emoji2]
Ryuichi
Sent from my SM-G930P using Tapatalk
For the first time I took a 4 hour train ride fully dressed as Sarah (Happy)... Train was delayed and I had to pee, could not plug up the courage to go to the ladies room nor did I want to go to the mens room. It became quite uncomfortable after a while...
Well, what made me unhappy was before I went to sleep this morning I was crying for about an hour because a K-Pop idol cut his gorgeous long hair AGAIN and now it looks like ramen noodles (even though I've known about this tragedy for a long time it just hit me out of nowhere), and I was so upset because he as a whole was literally goals. So in my exhausted stupor I took it upon myself to make videos detailing how I felt about the situation, and I was so upset while I made them that I was scared to watch them again when I woke up after my girlfriend told me to.
But she convinced me to watch them again... and oh my GOD, I could've cried laughing! They were so funny, I don't even know how I could've been upset while making those. My sister posted them on her Instagram and said "my brother won't stop sending me videos of Jeonghan and i can hear him crying next door" and if I had seen it before I slept I would've been so angry, but seeing it today made me laugh so hard!
Unhappy: One of the goldfish died last night. :(
Happy: The pleco sure made a good meal out of the goldfish. :)
Unhappy: I have a sore throat that's been here for about a week, along with SO many voice cracks. I read somewhere that sore throats never happen when your voice changes, so I thought I was just getting sick.
Happy: I found out from an old thread on here that you CAN in fact get a sore throat when your voice drops, so that made me really excited! My voice might be dropping :)
Quote from: maksim on June 21, 2017, 04:02:49 PM
Unhappy: I have a sore throat that's been here for about a week, along with SO many voice cracks. I read somewhere that sore throats never happen when your voice changes, so I thought I was just getting sick.
Happy: I found out from an old thread on here that you CAN in fact get a sore throat when your voice drops, so that made me really excited! My voice might be dropping :)
You might be fighting the pitch change when you are talking. The brain attempts to keep the voice where it was before and that can cause soreness if it reaches the point of voice abuse. The solution to this is to relax the muscles in your neck between your larynx and your jaw. This has the additional advantage that it should lower your voice even more. Let me know if you need help with this.
Quote from: maksim on June 21, 2017, 04:02:49 PM
Unhappy: I have a sore throat that's been here for about a week, along with SO many voice cracks. I read somewhere that sore throats never happen when your voice changes, so I thought I was just getting sick.
Happy: I found out from an old thread on here that you CAN in fact get a sore throat when your voice drops, so that made me really excited! My voice might be dropping :)
Another weird thing you have to look forward too is your throat almost feeling sore without actually feeling painful or you just finding it hard to swallow. It's a hard feeling to describe but you'll know when it happens ;)
Quote from: Elis on June 21, 2017, 05:38:01 PM
Another weird thing you have to look forward too is your throat almost feeling sore without actually feeling painful or you just finding it hard to swallow. It's a hard feeling to describe but you'll know when it happens ;)
I was going through voice-changing soreness pretty bad this past winter. I found that drinking hot tea helps.
Fortunatly for me, it seems that things have settled down for a bit. My voice is currently nice and deep. [emoji1]
Ryuichi
Sent from my SM-G930P using Tapatalk
spent the day sorting stuff to go camping, cooked 2 cakes, made kebabs and a dhal , packed clothes and car ;D then found when I went for a shower one of my new earrings is missing and hole is infected. searched flat and only went down to car once so looked there as well, well pissed cant see it and its not small. Only£5 so its not the cost but got them for this weekend . Mutter Mutter grrrrrrrrrr Edit and what has just peed me off , found the backing on bed room carpet, stood on it!!!!!!!!
Happy: I finally figured out what was wrong with my song so I was able to fix it!
Unhappy: There turned out to be WAY more wrong with my song than I thought there was, so it required a LOT of fixing.
But it's okay now!
Went to the local Goodwill to buy shorts because I only have 1 pair. Didn't find shorts but got my first ladies jeans, and a cute top. Even better, it was the first time I was able to fit in a 2X shirt.
Taking the girl I'm interested in our to lunch....Glad I got to spend time with her and treat her, but oh that $45 dollars is gone. T_T I hate being pay-check to pay-check.
Unhappy: 8:30, I better get on the way to work. :(
Happy: As I rose from the chair, I realized it was Sunday, no work! ;D
On that note, turned my alarm off as its Sunday, still woke up the same time!!!!!
Sciencing!
I'm taking it easy today. In the morning I get to be a lab rat again. (No, silly, I don't identify as a lab rat...) I'll be laying down and having my head stuck in the middle of a huge fMRI machine, while a research team does some deep functional brain mapping. Contributing to research makes me happy.
Showing up at the lab at 6:45 AM, then being injected with various bizarre chemicals while I do the same thing over and over while holding my head very, very still makes me unhappy. Especially without my morning coffee ☕️.
Wow!!! I get totally claustrophobic whenever I've had to have an MRI :o All that whirling and clunky noises, I usually close my eyes and pretend I'm in a spaceship on a mission to Mars
The technician always seems to get a kick out it when I start counting down when the bed begins to move towards the tube,
10 9 8 7 .... Liftoff
Hope it goes well
Me, too! :-*
Hugs, Devlyn
Well, I think they'll measure my prolactinoma while I'm in there. Having that little monster makes me unhappy, but knowing for certain what it it doing brings certainty and that will make me happy, or at least content.
Apparently I have misplaced my current script glasses which are a bit pricey for me to replace :-\ While turning the place upside down searching for them I came across my my old snipe glasses and a night opt.s patch that never got sewn on
Not sure how I feel about that but one of my neighbors does have a serger sewing machine, maybe I should give the patch a home?
Happy- passed all my assessments for my barbering course :)
Unhappy- won't be able to look for a barbering job until after my top surgery; so I'm stuck working at a place I don't really like working at :P
Unhappy: Dry Cleaner pricing for blouses... More than double of the old male shirts I am never gonna wear...
Happy: I got to drop of blouses at the dry cleaner ;D
Happy: I found a name that I connect with more than my current name and it's been hiding under my nose the entire time!
Unhappy: It sounds REALLY weird with my last name. Like, ridiculously weird. And I can't change my last name.
My divorce is final.
I feel free but also like a failure because I should have known...
Quote from: maksim on July 07, 2017, 01:15:58 PM
Happy: I found a name that I connect with more than my current name and it's been hiding under my nose the entire time!
Unhappy: It sounds REALLY weird with my last name. Like, ridiculously weird. And I can't change my last name.
Congrats on finding your name!!!! Try not to think about the second part too much though. I'm sure a lot of people have really odd fitting first and last names. ;D
Quote from: transguymac on July 11, 2017, 10:03:35 AM
Congrats on finding your name!!!! Try not to think about the second part too much though. I'm sure a lot of people have really odd fitting first and last names. ;D
Haha, thanks! I'm just concerned because my last name is an object, and the new name is Luka so it would pretty much sound like "Look a (object)" and I'm just very conflicted on whether or not to go through with it. I just connect with it so much!
Quote from: maksim on July 11, 2017, 10:26:29 AM
Haha, thanks! I'm just concerned because my last name is an object, and the new name is Luka so it would pretty much sound like "Look a (object)" and I'm just very conflicted on whether or not to go through with it. I just connect with it so much!
I like that!!!! I see your concern though. Because people might also think it was done on purpose...and then you have immature people like me who like puns who would like "Ayyyyyyyyye".
Quote from: transguymac on July 11, 2017, 10:31:35 AM
I like that!!!! I see your concern though. Because people might also think it was done on purpose...and then you have immature people like me who like puns who would like "Ayyyyyyyyye".
Honestly you and I are the same LOL. But yeah, I'll see how things go with my friends using it for a while before I actually change it!
Quote from: maksim on July 11, 2017, 10:26:29 AM
Haha, thanks! I'm just concerned because my last name is an object, and the new name is Luka so it would pretty much sound like "Look a (object)" and I'm just very conflicted on whether or not to go through with it. I just connect with it so much!
Blame it on your parents, just like anyone else would. I knew a Cherry Pitts when I was growing up. Randi knew a Matt Tress.
Quote from: Dee Marshall on July 11, 2017, 03:37:16 PM
Blame it on your parents, just like anyone else would. I knew a Cherry Pitts when I was growing up. Randi knew a Matt Tress.
Good point!
On my first job, two of our customers were Dr. Good and Dr. Best. Makes you wonder which doctor you should see.
My Daughter just saw me with a dress for the first time today on FaceTime and she laughed and said that she liked the dress.
Emily
Quote from: Dee Marshall on July 11, 2017, 03:37:16 PM
Blame it on your parents, just like anyone else would. I knew a Cherry Pitts when I was growing up. Randi knew a Matt Tress.
I had a lawyer named Chidester*, he's now a judge, and in high school I knew a girl named Ima Hamm.
* One who chides or nags; a scold.
I was thinking of Claire Day, Claire Eve, and Claire Skye for first and middle names. Lucky for me my last name's potential for odd sounding things is only when people add, remove, substitute and/or separate some letters.
Quote from: Artesia on July 11, 2017, 07:06:04 PM
I had a lawyer named Chidester*, he's now a judge, and in high school I knew a girl named Ima Hamm.
* One who chides or nags; a scold.
I was thinking of Claire Day, Claire Eve, and Claire Skye for first and middle names. Lucky for me my last name's potential for odd sounding things is only when people add, remove, substitute and/or separate some letters.
If we're going that route, my dentist growing up was Dr. Butcher. His brother was a surgeon.
:
April 22, 2015, the day of my first face to face pass in gender neutral clothes and no makeup. It may be months to the next one, but I'm good with that!
Being transgender is just a phase. It hardly ever starts before conception and always ends promptly at death.
They say the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. I say, climb aboard!
Think outside the voice box!
Hi
I'm Kelly and I'm new here. I'm happy my wife has decided not to leave or ask me to leave. I'm happy she is trying to adjust to me as a woman. It's been tough 6 weeks since I told her.
I'm unhappy she won't go out in public with me yet. The operative word is yet...
Happy: I'm hiding it well.
Unhappy: I'm really struggling.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on July 12, 2017, 10:51:48 AM
Happy: I'm hiding it well.
Unhappy: I'm really struggling.
Hugs!
Thanks, Dee.
Hugs, Devlyn
We love you Devlyn. Big hugs and warm thoughts to you.
Moni
Quote from: Dena on July 11, 2017, 06:09:21 PM
On my first job, two of our customers were Dr. Good and Dr. Best. Makes you wonder which doctor you should see.
I know of a Dr. Ambush.
Thanks, hon.
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Dena on July 11, 2017, 06:09:21 PM
On my first job, two of our customers were Dr. Good and Dr. Best. Makes you wonder which doctor you should see.
Split the difference. Go with Dr. Better.
Quote from: Dee Marshall on July 11, 2017, 03:37:16 PM
Blame it on your parents, just like anyone else would. I knew a Cherry Pitts when I was growing up. Randi knew a Matt Tress.
I knew a girl named Tuesday Knight when I was at my first job. [emoji1]
Ryuichi
Sent from my SM-G930P using Tapatalk
My nieces husbands 1st and middle names make him Batman. His name is Bruce Wayne, enter last name here.
Happy: It's my birthday!
Unhappy: I'm miserable on my birthday. :(
Technically yesterday and not today....But got my blood drawn and just waiting on my lab results and my T will be at the pharmacy, late this week or early next week. I'm happy because I finally get to start this part of my journey, but it made me sad because this is the end of chapter...I'm really sentimental so I starting think like...."My last photos pre-t....my last bit of time before my voice starts changing"....I'm not second guessing, I'm just sentimental and have never been a fan of change, even it's welcome. Such bitter sweetness!
Quote from: LukaN on July 17, 2017, 03:03:21 PM
Happy: It's my birthday!
Unhappy: I'm miserable on my birthday. :(
Happy birthday, young man! Did you view your profile today? There's a surprise there. :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on July 17, 2017, 06:30:28 PM
Happy birthday, young man! Did you view your profile today? There's a surprise there. :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Thanks Devlyn! :)
Dangit, I didn't look at my profile. I don't know what the surprise was and I can't find out now. :(
Scroll to the very bottom right and click on anyone having a birthday today. :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on July 18, 2017, 05:52:37 AM
Scroll to the very bottom right and click on anyone having a birthday today. :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Aw, that's cute!! :)
You weren't around, so I ate yours for you. ;D
Hugs, Devlyn
I watched the Halifax Pride Parade today. Ran into some friends and saw a bunch more in the parade.
And I saw my country's Prime Minister walking in the parade. I am really happy to live in a country where that happens and is a source of Pride for average citizens. I know that not everyone in the world is so lucky, and that makes me sad and unhappy.
Quote from: sarah1972 on July 05, 2017, 11:58:03 AM
Unhappy: Dry Cleaner pricing for blouses... More than double of the old male shirts I am never gonna wear...
Happy: I got to drop of blouses at the dry cleaner ;D
That's awesome Sarah, must be a great feeling.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
The good: I'm doing wonderful at work. Been hearing positive feedback on my performance a lot and workmates want to hang out with me. Promotion and a raise coming up.
The bad: It's probably just me but can't help the feeling that there's an elephant in the room, and the better I'm doing at work the bigger it gets.
Thing is, I'm not exactly out at work and do not wish to be out for the time being, for reasons that go beyond my irrational fear of my co-workers and superiors of not being accepting or using the fact that I'm trans against me. But I'm not at all sure I'm good at hiding the fact I'm trans. I'm pre-everything and probably will stay that way, so it's not like I would suddenly grow a beard or something so people could start wondering, but still. I guess it's the prospect of being outed before I'm ready that bothers me really.
I've been here before, what with my unfounded fears and unnecessary anxiety, and deep down I know everything will turn out right this time just as it has before. In long term some people will find out, if not for any other reason then simply because I will want to out myself, and I think it unlikely that it will be an issue at all. Yet I still have these days when I feel eerily nervous about the whole thing and it sucks and why oh why do I have to go through this same thing in my head year after year after year, every goddamn time there's some change in my life, never mind how small and positive, it's the same thing all over.
I'm not so much looking for advice, I just wanted to put this here in a hope that someone would relate or has ever felt something remotely similar.
Happy: 3 months on T today!
Unhappy: I'm so depressed that I actually don't care about this milestone at all. It's just another day and another shot, after another month of feeling like my end goal for transition is hopelessly far away.
Quote from: LukaN on July 27, 2017, 04:53:29 AM
Happy: 3 months on T today!
Unhappy: I'm so depressed that I actually don't care about this milestone at all. It's just another day and another shot, after another month of feeling like my end goal for transition is hopelessly far away.
Well you man that is a bit silly! You've made 3 months and have coped, you have been posting and I see that you are happier. Your posts are brighter. You are enjoying life more and you have had a birthday. You're 3 months closer to your goal.
Depression is something most of us live with and I understand how damn hard it can be but you are moving forward.
You are a really great guy and I like to read your posts even if I don't always respond to them. This time I have and that makes me happy.
Love
Cindy
Unhappy: I'm a transgender veteran. :(
Happy: I'm a transgender veteran. :)
Fierce: I'm a transgender veteran. :icon_userfriendly:
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: LukaN on July 27, 2017, 04:53:29 AM
Happy: 3 months on T today!
Unhappy: I'm so depressed that I actually don't care about this milestone at all. It's just another day and another shot, after another month of feeling like my end goal for transition is hopelessly far away.
Echoing what Cindy said; you've made it 3 months without giving it up is still an achievement. Try focusing on how much fewer the depression days are compared to being pre T.
The first year is definitely the hardest to get through. But after that it gets easier and you start looking how you feel you should look. 7 months sounds a long time but it'll fly by.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on July 27, 2017, 06:17:06 AM
Unhappy: I'm a transgender veteran. :(
Happy: I'm a transgender veteran. :)
Fierce: I'm a transgender veteran. :icon_userfriendly:
I'm not American nor eligible for military service but I feel for you.
I've been avoiding reading the latest news because I know I don't want to hear any of that bs and it would only make me feel miserable. Then I happened to watch this BBC video in my Fb timeline, there was this very smart and adorable transwoman who had served in the US military talking about her views on topic. I thought the video heartwarming, doubted anyone in their right mind would want to disagree with her and so I figured that it would be safe to read some comments. Just to see people posting something nice and encouraging.
...right. Well, no such luck. One day I will hopefully learn not to go there.
It's the people who have came out and are now left wondering what happens next that I'm concerned about.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on July 27, 2017, 12:27:11 PM
It's the people who have came out and are now left wondering what happens next that I'm concerned about.
Yeah, same. Obviously I haven't been following what's going on in the US army as closely as you most likely have, but I understood things had started to look better already in recent years. Sucks that this trend seems to go backwards now.
Quote from: Cindy on July 27, 2017, 05:10:34 AM
Well you man that is a bit silly! You've made 3 months and have coped, you have been posting and I see that you are happier. Your posts are brighter. You are enjoying life more and you have had a birthday. You're 3 months closer to your goal.
Depression is something most of us live with and I understand how damn hard it can be but you are moving forward.
You are a really great guy and I like to read your posts even if I don't always respond to them. This time I have and that makes me happy.
Love
Cindy
Thank you Cindy, I appreciate it. I struggle with bipolar and this recent depressive episode has been VERY intense, and they tend to last several months at least. It's difficult right now to see that I'm moving forward, but thank you for reminding me that I am. :)
Quote from: Elis on July 27, 2017, 08:19:39 AM
Echoing what Cindy said; you've made it 3 months without giving it up is still an achievement. Try focusing on how much fewer the depression days are compared to being pre T.
The first year is definitely the hardest to get through. But after that it gets easier and you start looking how you feel you should look. 7 months sounds a long time but it'll fly by.
Thanks Elis. Again, I struggle with bipolar and most recently pre-T I was in a state of hypomania, so the depression is actually much worse now than it was before. It's probably the worst depression I've ever had, I don't recall ever feeling this bad even as a younger teenager.
I've heard the first year is the hardest but you're right, time will fly. 3 months has already gone by so fast that it's actually just a big blur, even if it feels more like it's taking forever a lot of the time.
Thank you for the encouragement, I appreciate it. :)
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on July 27, 2017, 06:17:06 AM
Unhappy: I'm a transgender veteran. :(
Happy: I'm a transgender veteran. :)
Fierce: I'm a transgender veteran. :icon_userfriendly:
Hugs, Devlyn
I'm right there with you.
The construction crew is outside banging away on something or other on what used to be my balcony. The windows are all covered in plastic sheeting. Everything smells like industrial solvents.
So, I'm going for a walk, for coffee, and a little late, for lunch with friends. In spite of it all, life is good.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on July 27, 2017, 12:27:11 PM
It's the people who have came out and are now left wondering what happens next that I'm concerned about.
That would be me x.x
But hey, At least I know what I want out of life now. That's my silver lining!
Also, this is my 100th post! WooO!
Big hug! Brandi, you and Dusty were at the front of my thoughts when I posted it. We've drawn a lot of veterans and active duty members to the site and I do worry about them all.
Hugs, Devlyn
Went to the graveyard where my parents are today. Stopped and talked. Gave explanations, mentioned regrets, offered apologies, and extended forgiveness.
Happy: Having hairs on my face fall out from laser
Sad: Hair on my face, I've already had 14 sessions of Alexandrite Laser (just switched to 3rd technician)
Had an interview that took an hour yesterday. Won't know until tomorrow whether or not I got the job.
I was already on the train, one stop away, when I got a call from the therapists office canceling group.
So, rather than turn around and head back to 100 degree weather I stayed on into cool San Francisco, and went out to dinner. Grilled chicken and apple salad, a nice Chardonnay, and blackberry sorbet for dessert.
Home will be much cooler now, and I am refreshed.
The unexpected offers both positive and negative opportunities. It's up to us to see both and choose wisely.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Eating lunch al fresco in Boca Raton wearing a new pink sarong as I meander to Key West.
At last count four wardrobe malfunctions. Is that a problem or a feature? There's a trick to this thing! It would help if the sarong was a little bigger. Around my neck it's hard to knot. Worn strapless my boobs pop out.
I'll get a picture of me in it over the next few days. (Without my boobs popped out!) I intend to wear the heck outta this thing! At $16 I may get another.
:
April 22, 2015, the day of my first face to face pass in gender neutral clothes and no makeup. It may be months to the next one, but I'm good with that!
Being transgender is just a phase. It hardly ever starts before conception and always ends promptly at death.
They say the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. I say, climb aboard!
Think outside the voice box!
Happy: I'm getting the beginnings of a mustache!
Unhappy: Even though I'm happy that my T-levels are good enough to give me more peach fuzz, I'm unhappy because that means I'm gonna have to start shaving within the next year or so. ::)
I outed myself to someone a while ago and didn't expect it to go well, I thought I'd never hear from this person again. But I did, which is nice. So I'm happy for that.
I'm also unhappy because so far we haven't touched this topic again. I'm not sure whether it's because they think it's awkward or they are being polite or just don't care one way or another. And I get it, if you are friends with someone you don't want to offend them, and I suppose I should appreciate that. But at the same time it makes me feel as if me being trans is not something I should talk about so openly as no one cares
And it's not like this happened with just this one friend, I often get the same feeling if I happen to mention my identity issues in passing. Like people are fine with it but won't discuss it. It probably shouldn't be a big deal, but.
So just before I left work today, Sombody made a joke about me, They messaged somebody else, saying i borrowed an "adult vedio" off of them.
And continued to have a lil conversation with them, the person on the other end texted. "no not "honeystrums" she will be too busy on skype bashing her bishop for her boyfriend" What got me was this person w
is a manger (I expected better) and they couldn't look at me without stooping into laughing fits for the last hour of work. It was annoying, totally embarrassing and realy pissed me off. And this manager has the nerve to come up to me and ask whats wrong after they finally compose themselves.
I grit my teeth a did, I bit my tongue. I smiled and said. From now on you aint going to get a single response from me unless you reffer to me as Miss "Family name" And I mean it.
Im un-happy and disappointed that it happened, But I feel kind of good about asserting my Legal tital for the first time ever.
Went to the store today in my work uniform. Took of my name tag and male glasses. I used my women's voice, in training.
Happy: I didn't get a sir a single time.
Sad: Didn't get a mam either.
I got mansplained today. Talking on a forum about weather and how frost-free days and fall first frost dates are extremely sensitive to climate change and have changed significantly over the past few decades at the specific location under discussion. I was the main weather observer at that location for many years and have good data available, some of which I shared.
Someone replied today with a bunch of irrelevant BS and denying my data without evidence.
Unhappy: having to listen to twits.
Happy: at least the twit perceived me as female.
This one is kind of emotional so here goes nothing....
As some people on this thread may know, I lost my aunt a little over a month ago. It was really hard for me, because we are close in age than she is to my mother, and we grew up as siblings under my grandmother's care (my mom worked and I was homeschooled, not absentee mother, my mom is awesome)....
She was pregnant and all she wanted to be in life was a mother...She passed away suddenly, and had recently moved all the way across the country.
Friday marked an exact month since she passed and it was supposed to be my sad day...but all of last week and going forward into this week I cannot get her off my mind...
I dreamed of her Monday night but couldn't remember the dream on Tuesday and simply woke up thinking I'd dreamed of her and having her on my mind....
Last night I know I dreamed of her, and she actually told me her cause of death in the dream. It was big medical terms so all I remember was "cardiovascular" and the rest is blurry...I tried and tried googling everything I could to refresh, but all I was finding was heart attack and heart failure, which is what we were all pretty sure it was....
I am happy, because I feel her with me, and I happy to dream about her, and I am happy to know that what took her was natural and could not be helped, and happy that I no longer have to harbor this unhealthy idea that I may have to murder her fiancee if I found out he killer her....
But I am unhappy because she is still gone, she didn't deserve to die, and grief logic has me angry thinking that her fiancee could have done more to prevent her death, even though he couldn't...So there's that.
Happy: They thought that I'm my sister (knew my male persona from a past encounter)
Unhappy: "I will call you brother to talk about the next steps"
When he spoke to male-me he used the name of the machines they will use. Today it was just the machine(s).
Unhappy: Well, the pic speaks for itself...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dulcemelos.ca%2Fpersonal%2Faargh.jpg&hash=c0e3afe82311d0293bfa5e0abacf9eb8a72f8b08)
Happy: I was able to get it fixed without any paperwork. Just 20 minutes in voicemail hell.
I did my makeup for the first time in a while, and I'd forgotten how much I love makeup while being under the pressure to be as masculine as possible. Now that I'm more secure in my gender identity, it's easier to do the things I enjoy without feeling ashamed of them, and my family has started putting less and less pressure on me to be masculine.
Happy: I feel pretty, and my mom told me I looked pretty.
Unhappy: I need to shave my slight facial hair and my legs, and my body dysphoria is getting kind of bad since I want to have the right body to go with my prettiness (AKA a pretty male body) but I don't have it. One day, folks.
Quote from: maksim on October 05, 2017, 12:52:33 PM
.
Unhappy: I need to shave my slight facial hair and my legs, and my body dysphoria is getting kind of bad since I want to have the right body to go with my prettiness (AKA a pretty male body) but I don't have it. One day, folks.
Having the same issues :P
Went drag racing to day with my Skoda and it ran a best time of 16.27 @ 84 mph. ;D then went out in first round as could not get it to be consistent on 60ft times so worst run 16 .7 . Good fun though.
Quote from: davina61 on October 15, 2017, 01:36:58 PM
Went drag racing to day with my Skoda and it ran a best time of 16.27 @ 84 mph. ;D then went out in first round as could not get it to be consistent on 60ft times so worst run 16 .7 . Good fun though.
Where do you race?
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Shakespeare County Raceway , Long Marston airfield by Stratford Upon Avon. Could be the last one ever in 2 weeks time as they want to build houses on the site so Saturday night might be one hell of a party and it will be Davina going . Got my outfit sorted just waiting on new wig to come
Quote from: davina61 on October 15, 2017, 04:16:33 PM
Shakespeare County Raceway , Long Marston airfield by Stratford Upon Avon. Could be the last one ever in 2 weeks time as they want to build houses on the site so Saturday night might be one hell of a party and it will be Davina going . Got my outfit sorted just waiting on new wig to come
Ooo have fun! Don't do anything I wouldn't, but that's a mighty short list [emoji6]
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
I'm probably full of myself for thinking a guy was checking me out but it made me happy/unhappy. Happy because, well, he was checking me out and unhappy because I'm not presenting as female yet. It's frustrating actually.
Happy because I'm picking up makeup decently fast I feel. Unhappy because I have to put on makeup to even want to look at myself in the mirror. Then happy because I also realized I not only did a pretty good job even with eyeshadow and mascara, I put it on in record time. Then unhappy because I had to take it off about 20 minutes later. Then super unhappy as every movement with the face wipe revealed the issues I was covering up to begin with. So I guess... yay and boo makeup?
I just had dinner with my dad and my sister. I haven't seen my dad in 3 months, and my sister in about a month. They both commented on the weight loss, especially the face. My dad asked if I was growing my hair out. That made me happy. Then my sister said I need to change my hairstyle since I look like Javier bardem in No Country For Old Men. Geez. Could you pick a more unattractive person to compare me to? I didn't get sad though, got angry.
Unhappy:
While txting one of my sisters, we got into an argument. She refuses to believe that a AFAB can "simply choose to become a man," as she put it and asked "why didn't you wait until after Mom died?" My Mom is old but more or less healthy. My sister's known about my transitioning for about five months now.
She also refuses to call me by my legal name and gender, instead choosing to refer to me by my deadname and deadgender (is there such a thing?)
Happy:
She agreed to watch a video explaining what transgender is. I found an excellent one and sent it to her. It seems like she watched it.
Oh well, I really hope she watched the video. But whenever she refers to me as my deadname or deadgender, I'm going to act like I don't know who she's talking to.
After all, that person no longer exists. I've evolved into a MUCH better person since starting my transition.
Ryuichi
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Happy:
At my endo appointment yesterday the Dr. commented that I was looking more feminine than ever :icon_chick:
Then a bit humorous but later on after I'd finally gotten home an obviously younger guy who was riding one of those new style unicycles stopped to chat me up a bit :icon_biggrin:
Unhappy:
There was some confusion at the Dr.'s office which caused a delay and then the transport home got messed up as well
I was completely stressed out about getting home :-\
Luckily I was able to get ahold of the transport co. and they sent another van around to pick me up, what a relief but she had four other people to pick up and drop off and so it was a very long ride
I was very tired and hungry and needed to pee badly but I don't think I'd ever been so happy to be home in quite awhile
Happy: 14 days from today is my GCS and I received a confirmation phone call for my pre-op appointment next week and my pre-admission appointment.
Unhappy: My wife sprained her ankle today and has to rest up the next 4 or more days with rest, ice, pressure and elevation.
I had my pellets tripled today and that makes me way happy, euphoric again, pink lips etc. Then at dinner, just now I get a stare down from a guy at a restaurant. If I can read his mind it's fag, or >-bleeped-<. But then I'm happy again because I'm not being read as just male.
Happy because I got my hair vitamin (to help my hair grow faster hopefully!) and mirror with lights so I don't have to do my make up in the dark. Unhappy because the mirror needs batteries.. joking lol Actually unhappy because I didn't get my adjustable stool so I can sit my butt while I do my makeup and now my waist cincher that was supposed to be delivered is lost! :embarrassed:
I had a couple of hours where my mom wasn't home, so I got to ear my bra :). I won't be able to wear it under my clothing as I first thought, it makes my chest stick out a bit, both good and bad
Wasn't feeling well so decided to take nap, soon after I'd fallen asleep was awoken by a knock at the door
Wasn't wearing much, just panties and one of my old t-shirts from boy days so I tried to hide behind the door to see what my neighbor wanted
It was too late when I realized that I'm not very good at hiding and he was totally checkin' me out :icon_redface:
Not quite sure how I feel about that
Quote from: V M on November 01, 2017, 11:23:48 PM
Not quite sure how I feel about that
Not to be crass... This sounds like a regular fantasy of mine throughout the years. I hope for the best for you:)
Bari Jo
Quote from: Bari Jo on November 02, 2017, 08:19:31 AM
Not to be crass... This sounds like a regular fantasy of mine throughout the years. I hope for the best for you:)
Bari Jo
Interesting, on a positive note he did apologize for waking me up and then went home - I went back to bed and slept most of the day
A leather look jacket I ordered on sale for $10.00 in a 1X size from JC Penny came today. It looks great but doesn't even come close to fitting me. My sister who wears a medium now has a nice new jacket as it fits her well.
I got called a hoochie mama. :laugh: >:-) 8) ::) ;D
I went for breakfast with two friends this morning and I was jealous of how pretty the waitresses were, but it gives me more motivation to transition, not that I need any
I just realized I can take my estradiol sublingually after a month of swallowing it
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote from: dist123 on November 04, 2017, 07:53:16 PM
I just realized I can take my estradiol sublingually after a month of swallowing it
I feel stupid not knowing what sublingually means. Under the language? ... OH, UNDER THE TONGUE! (This was a legitimate revelation as I was typing.)
Well, just came out to my step mother. So while my father was straight up just accepting in every way and had no questions at all, my step mother was a bit more, uhh, "inquisitive". She definitely went into psychiatrist mode, and was probing a bit more than I expected, though I did expect some. She didn't say I was wrong/crazy/etc. by any means, but I did feel that she was pushing me to prove myself. However, I think I actually passed the test. After my initial answers, something I said must have been what she was wanting to hear, because the conversation shifted 180 degrees.
So yeah. Was sort of expecting it to at least some degree, but still didn't particularly like dealing with it in a vulnerable state. At the same time though, I'm happy I felt like I dealt with it well and did seemingly meet whatever standard she was looking for. Maybe this is my imagination, but I don't really think it was.
Also, she was sort of making fun of my male wardrobe. ;D
Quote from: Roll on November 04, 2017, 11:57:52 PM
Well, just came out to my step mother. So while my father was straight up just accepting in every way and had no questions at all, my step mother was a bit more, uhh, "inquisitive". She definitely went into psychiatrist mode, and was probing a bit more than I expected, though I did expect some. She didn't say I was wrong/crazy/etc. by any means, but I did feel that she was pushing me to prove myself. However, I think I actually passed the test. After my initial answers, something I said must have been what she was wanting to hear, because the conversation shifted 180 degrees.
So yeah. Was sort of expecting it to at least some degree, but still didn't particularly like dealing with it in a vulnerable state. At the same time though, I'm happy I felt like I dealt with it well and did seemingly meet whatever standard she was looking for. Maybe this is my imagination, but I don't really think it was.
Also, she was sort of making fun of my male wardrobe. ;D
Good for you Ellie. I love reading these coming out stories. I will follow you soon enough. In my family there are too many doctors and lawyers, so unfortunately i will get that kind of probing a lot!
Bari Jo
Ahh, the NHS. It's like something we're proud of as a nation, but we also know it's abysmal in many ways. Emergency dental torture treatment it is tomorrow then, up in Liskeard. One the one hand I'm grateful the service exists that supposedly I won't pay more than a few quid for, on the other I've heard horror stories from close friends of the brutality of the emerg. NHS tooth doc to rival a B splatter movie.
I was able to dress as myself (female) yesterday, so my dysphoria has disappeared - for now, it'll come back though, not looking forward to that
I rode my bike for the first time since my chemorad and surgery and it was great. I also found out how much you use your shoulders when riding a bike and mine are a mess and now I'm in pain, just for a change.
But Tour Down Under here I come!!!!
Quote from: Cindy on November 07, 2017, 02:53:37 AM
I rode my bike for the first time since my chemorad and surgery and it was great. I also found out how much you use your shoulders when riding a bike and mine are a mess and now I'm in pain, just for a change.
But Tour Down Under here I come!!!!
That's the spirit, congrats on getting out a bit
Hugs
It's a real struggle at the moment, but I'm alway happy to be reminded that I have the most amazing partner in the world, and sad, because she reminded me that my gender issue has been simmering for 20 years.
20.
Years.
Rowan.
Did laser today but it hurt a lot [emoji22]
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The next time I'll have to wear a suit will be my niece's christening, which will be a while away :). But I'll have to wear a suit, I never want to wear a suit ever again. I pray I manage to come out the closet by then
Last night at band practice, during the break, the conductor came over to say hi to me. It's a big concert band, and he doesn't get much opportunity to talk one-on-one to every member, so he makes an effort. The happy part is that he told me that I am a strong player and that I hold the tenor sax section together. The unhappy part is that he addressed me as "buddy".
When I came out last spring, I sent an email to the entire membership telling them all who I am now. I don't dress particularly androgynously for band practice. Last night, I was wearing skinny jeans and a bright orange sweater that adequately displays my inadequate boobs. I wear my shortest wig for band practice, so I can get the neck strap of the sax over my head without accidents, but it is still styled in a feminine way. It should have been obvious that I'm a girl. In fact, given my coming-out email, it should have been obvious that I am that girl. All the other musicians address me as "Kathy" and use feminine pronouns.
Or maybe he's just clueless and regularly addresses women as "buddy". I was too stunned to say anything, especially since it was associated with a rather nice compliment.
I guess I'll have to femme it up a bit. At the last concert, I was the only band member wearing a skirt. I was going to wear pants for the upcoming Christmas concert, but now I think I'll wear a skirt again.
Big hug, Kathy! I was in one of my favourite restaurants awhile back, they all know me. The bartender walked past and gave me a big cheery "Hey, pal, how's it going?" and it brought me down a bit, too. :(
When life gives you lemons, freeze them. Then aim for the head. >:-)
Hugs, Devlyn
I'm going back to my home state to get the car I'm buying from my Mom. Finally, my own wheels again!
But, I haven't told my Mom I'm transitioning. I'm starting to become a nervous wreck. My Mom accepts me no matter what, but still, she's nearly 80 and I don't want her to be shocked into a heart attack or something. She's already had a stroke, which is why she stopped driving in the first place.
She's heard my now much deeper voice over the phone multiple times, and she knows I legally changed my name, but because its not a commonly American name, she probably doesn't recognise it as a traditional male nmme. Either way, I'm not sure she's put 2 and 2 together yet. She still calls me by my deadname and still refers to me by my deadgender. (Is "deadgender" a word?)
I'm debating on telling her over the phone, but this was a conversation I've always wanted to do face-to-face. Now I'm not so sure I should.
Ryuichi
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3 years since Dad died & I still miss him. Still smile at our last conversation, "Andrea was asking after you, she'd like your phone number"
"**** no! She seen Bernard off, she's not gonna get me!"
Happy: My electrologist says that my upper lip is fully cleared. At least of the tough bristly stuff. Anything that grows back will be peach fuzz in comparison and easily zapped.
Unhappy: In order to survive the lip clearing, I had my dentist shoot me up with dental anesthetic. It works incredibly well. But I then chomped my lip, eating before the freezing was out. Ouch!
Discovering that the local library carries some classic manga that I've always wanted to read.
Realizing that I've gotten so caught up in reading them that they're now a couple of days overdue. Oops!
Ryuichi
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My mom just asked me if it's just leggings and jeggings that I want to wear (I openly wear jeggings and leggings as a male (I'm in the closet)) or if I want to wear more women's clothing, so my hinting that I'm trans as at least got her wandering, if only she knew it was so much more than the clothing... one day :)
Seeing my beard is half gone and yet thinking I have such a long way to go. I think im gonna go get a few slices of pizza to make this emotional hurt go away
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Apparently I pass from the back, but not the front. I was walking my dog and a car slowed down to check me out. When he could see my face, he realized I was a guy and sped up. I guess I have a butter face. Everything is good, but her face:(
Bari Jo
I think you look cute. Probably realised you're out of his league
Lost almost 8 lbs in weight and finally see a bit of an hour glass figure. Unfortunately I lost about 2 lbs on my breasts too :-(
Quote from: big kim on November 28, 2017, 01:58:54 AM
I think you look cute. Probably realised you're out of his league
Hah, if only! I'm not at the stage to even be a tiny bit passable in the face yet.
Bari Jo
I've been thinking more and more over the past few days of going private in terms of seeing a gender specialist - I'm enquiring about it. 2 years is an extremely long time to wait. My life will basically be on hold for that length of time. I don't know if I'll actually be able to afford private treatment, I'll be really disappointed if I can't, I've got my hopes up
Ex girlfriends making contact, one on the internet and the other by phone
It was really weird (surreal?) chatting with one while talking to the other and neither seems to get the idea that we're on a
"just friends" basis now
My guess is that they've both gotten dumped by whoever they'd dumped me for
*Sigh* The holidays can be so much fun sometimes
Saw my ENT surgeon checking on my recovery.
Any pain? No.
Swallowing? Really good.
Coughing up blood? No.
Hearing? Terrible and getting worse.
Lets see. Left ear looks OK. You know of course that the cisplatin has a side effect of hearing loss? Lets see the right and .... Mmmm, what's this? Removes a huge cm long plug. That might help the hearing.
It did.
Cindy goes home and complains to other person that he has the TV on too loud... 'but you keep telling me to put it louder so you can hear you deaf goat'
I'm sure he hadn't heard me correctly.
Quote from: Cindy on December 03, 2017, 02:04:56 AM
Saw my ENT surgeon checking on my recovery.
Any pain? No.
Swallowing? Really good.
Coughing up blood? No.
Hearing? Terrible and getting worse.
Lets see. Left ear looks OK. You know of course that the cisplatin has a side effect of hearing loss? Lets see the right and .... Mmmm, what's this? Removes a huge cm long plug. That might help the hearing.
It did.
Cindy goes home and complains to other person that he has the TV on too loud... 'but you keep telling me to put it louder so you can hear you deaf goat'
I'm sure he hadn't heard me correctly.
Awesome Cindy, glad life has it's great moments for you.
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Quote from: V M on November 28, 2017, 02:15:53 PM
Ex girlfriends making contact, one on the internet and the other by phone
It was really weird (surreal?) chatting with one while talking to the other and neither seems to get the idea that we're on a
"just friends" basis now
My guess is that they've both gotten dumped by whoever they'd dumped me for
*Sigh* The holidays can be so much fun sometimes
You are such a tease. Enjoy your moments.
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Red wine £1 for 175ml bottle (large glass) happy
I've tasted better piss, it's horrible!unhappy
Quote from: Cindy on December 03, 2017, 02:04:56 AM
Saw my ENT surgeon checking on my recovery.
Any pain? No.
Swallowing? Really good.
Coughing up blood? No.
Hearing? Terrible and getting worse.
Lets see. Left ear looks OK. You know of course that the cisplatin has a side effect of hearing loss? Lets see the right and .... Mmmm, what's this? Removes a huge cm long plug. That might help the hearing.
It did.
Cindy goes home and complains to other person that he has the TV on too loud... 'but you keep telling me to put it louder so you can hear you deaf goat'
I'm sure he hadn't heard me correctly.
Haha, some good news, and the bonus of hearing to boot! X
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Quote from: big kim on December 03, 2017, 11:10:41 AM
Red wine £1 for 175ml bottle (large glass) happy
I've tasted better piss, it's horrible!unhappy
And you were expecting a fine bordeaux? [emoji23]
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Bought a £1 (10 francs then) bottle of red on hols in France , spent the next day throwing up before flying home . That tasted like P**s as well.
What is it with everybody drinking two buck chuck. The cheap stuff isn't worth it.
Quote from: Dena on December 03, 2017, 04:07:03 PM
What is it with everybody drinking two buck chuck. The cheap stuff isn't worth it.
I think it is the poms upset about the Ashes drowning their sorrows on cheap plonk
Sometimes you get lucky, previously got a bottle of white for £3.99 which was very nice.
Working on music at all hours of the day and night reworking some of my older tunes and coming up with a few new ones and rebuilding the calluses on my fingering hand
Split my thumbnail down to the quick on my plucking hand :o Ouch!!!
I asked a store assistant who had their back to me for the location of something. They misgendered me by my voice, before turning around and rapidly correcting themselves.
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I woke up to the first snow fall of the season at 9am! It's currently 4pm and still snowing ... and the snow is sticking.
I currently live in a dorm, so I had to leave my building to get food.
I have such a love/hate relationship with snow!! :-\
Snows great when you're a kid. It's a PITA when you're old!
The music player I ordered came in today. I was able to charge it and test it, and oh boy it sounds great. Then I wrapped it up for Xmas. Yes I won't use it til Xmas, that made me sad.
Bari Jo
Mansplaining. Ugh. At least I'm getting gendered correctly.
There is a monstrous reindeer thing that has been in my room (which doubles as storage space) terrifying adults and children alike for the better part of a decade. It's creepy, weird, surreal, and just unpleasant. I put a trash bag over its head and hid it behind a Japanese partition. My step mother fished it from a dumpster after they discarded a Christmas display years ago. I know. Trust me, I know. She isn't usually the dumpster find type at all, but of course the one time she does take something home it was this thing.
The happy? It's being used for a Christmas party and I am rid of it forever!!!
The sad? Well, it's covered in this hard, glittery... stuff. Really sharp stuff. My fingers are sliced to hell and back and the bleeding won't stop. And I can't find any band aid's that aren't gigantic. I had to make makeshift bandages out of paper towels and green Christmas wrapping tape.
Edit: AND OH MY GOD TWO SECONDS AFTER POSTING THIS I JAMMED MY FINGER BETWEEN DESK AND CHARI I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN
Quote from: Roll on December 16, 2017, 10:00:40 AM
There is a monstrous reindeer thing that has been in my room (which doubles as storage space) terrifying adults and children alike for the better part of a decade. It's creepy, weird, surreal, and just unpleasant. I put a trash bag over its head and hid it behind a Japanese partition. My step mother fished it from a dumpster after they discarded a Christmas display years ago. I know. Trust me, I know. She isn't usually the dumpster find type at all, but of course the one time she does take something home it was this thing.
The happy? It's being used for a Christmas party and I am rid of it forever!!!
The sad? Well, it's covered in this hard, glittery... stuff. Really sharp stuff. My fingers are sliced to hell and back and the bleeding won't stop. And I can't find any band aid's that aren't gigantic. I had to make makeshift bandages out of paper towels and green Christmas wrapping tape.
Edit: AND OH MY GOD TWO SECONDS AFTER POSTING THIS I JAMMED MY FINGER BETWEEN DESK AND CHARI I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN
And here I thought you had it all together Eliie. It's folded kleenex and electrical tape.
Hugs,
Laurie
A lot going on emotionally but I'm sticking to my regimen! This is what I needed to push through. Being sad and emotional is not my enemy (I keep reminding myself at least)
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The plan I made up in my head to no longer buy any more male clothes has failed, I'm in desperate need of some new work clothes, I'm going to try and buy some work trousers and shirts that are less masculine, so my dysphoria improves while at work
Quote from: Sinead on December 18, 2017, 02:15:50 AM
The plan I made up in my head to no longer buy any more male clothes has failed, I'm in desperate need of some new work clothes, I'm going to try and buy some work trousers and shirts that are less masculine, so my dysphoria improves while at work
When I had to do this shortly before starting my RLE, I took the opportunity to get some mens pink fitted shirts. [emoji4]
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Quote from: Sinead on December 18, 2017, 02:15:50 AM
The plan I made up in my head to no longer buy any more male clothes has failed, I'm in desperate need of some new work clothes, I'm going to try and buy some work trousers and shirts that are less masculine, so my dysphoria improves while at work
I'm unfortunately running into the same problem and am going to have to break down and buy some male clothes soon probably. I've lost too much weight and it's starting to look ridiculous. Everything just hangs off me, up to two sizes too large. And since I don't intend to go outside in female attire until I move (just not a good place for that), that means I need clothes for the next 7-8 months.
Today I was returning some led lights and buying others for my bar. The clerk looked at the receipt and said, "Barry huh? You don't look like a Barry" so I replied with "I also go by Bari Jo. Doe that suit me better?" he smiled and said yes. What a weird encounter. I wouldn't call it affirming, but it still kind of made me happy.
Bari Jo
My sister called me to ask if I'm transgender. I sent a screenshot of an ad on tapatalk that I thought was funny and even though I looked to check "transgender forum" was in the screenshot somewhere.
Of course she saw this and basically said that I need to think things through more. This is all of a sudden that she never knew I was trans. She said I need to think about how it will effect me and the family.
She jokingly said she would accept me and said as (my birth name) or (sarcastic feminine version of my name I would never use).
I don't know how I feel. Relieved yet sad? Like I told her time will tell
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Happy: My mother pointed out that I have a doppelgänger that is a cis woman!!
Unhappy: That women is US Press Secretary
Sarah Huckabee Sanders to President Trump.
(https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8215/28730622093_5cb60d15ab.jpg) | (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DFSG0GmW0AACzaV.jpg) |
Me | Sarah Huckabee Sanders |
My mother pointed out that she is even left handed just like me, but I'm over a foot taller than her.
Quote from: Sydney_NYC on January 07, 2018, 05:46:08 PM
Happy: My mother pointed out that I have a doppelgänger that is a cis woman!!
Unhappy: That women is US Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders to President Trump.
(https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8215/28730622093_5cb60d15ab.jpg) | (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DFSG0GmW0AACzaV.jpg) |
Me | Sarah Huckabee Sanders |
My mother pointed out that she is even left handed just like me, but I'm over a foot taller than her.
Left-handers shall rule the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quote from: Sydney_NYC on January 07, 2018, 05:46:08 PM
Happy: My mother pointed out that I have a doppelgänger that is a cis woman!!
Unhappy: That women is US Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders to President Trump.
My mother pointed out that she is even left handed just like me, but I'm over a foot taller than her.
Nope, not even close. You're smarter than she is and better looking too.
Quote from: Laurie on January 07, 2018, 08:27:34 PM
Nope, not even close. You're smarter than she is and better looking too.
Thanks!!!! I needed that since I wasn't sure how to process it when my mother messaged me this info this morning, LOL.
I thought about my late grandmother yesterday and today... I've never felt both sad and happy like this in a long time...
My gramma was one of my best friends. She was a big part of my life growing up, and I regret being an angsty teen when she was near the end of her life in 2006... she was over 80 years old.
But, what made me happy was thinking back to all the things we used to do together, the things she used to teach me, and how awesome she was all the time.
She was diagnosed with an abdominal aneurysm back in... I want to say 2000. She was told she'd have less than a month to live, and to basically take it easy and die at home peacefully.
She waited 3 months, and when she wasn't dead, she started back into her old routines. She lived for 6 more years after that...
I loved my gramma, and thinking about what she would say if she could see me now, know what and who I am... I don't think there would be a thing to stop her from being supportive...
So I have decided that I am going to take her name as my new post-transition middle name. Say hello to your granddaughter, Erena. I love you.
That was a really sweet way to remember her Sasha.
Last customer I work with sent me a new Sarah ID via FedEx today.
My wife almost rejected the letter since it was addressed to Sarah... she knows for 20 month about Sarah... and there is regular mail coming for Sarah ...
I heard from an old friend for the first time in a while today, this first part I mentioned in the happy thread. The conversation began upbeat, and he asked the inevitable "so what's up?" type question. It amused me greatly to answer "well, I'm transitioning into a woman.". Fun for shock value! But I did so in this case knowing he is the single most progressive person I have ever met, so not really a big deal. That part all went well, and it was amazing to hear from him.
The unhappy part was as the conversation unfolded, I found out what's been happening with him in turn. I should say as well, that this is a guy whose life has eerily mirrored my own at times (in non trans ways), with strange coincidence after coincidence. Unfortunately, this extends to our mothers and cancer. Shortly after mine passed away, his mother was diagnosed. I won't go into full details, but since I last spoke to him he lost his younger brother, which then sent his mother on a downward spiral with her cancer and she passed away too. It truly broke my heart, and I've always feared losing my younger brother so really hit me personally as another parallel(in the sense that I can relate). Then to top it all off, he got screwed over at his job, and is overqualified so having trouble finding a new one.
He's always been a great person, and it absolutely kills me life has just been kicking him around lately. But still, he seems to be surviving despite it all.
Quote from: Roll on January 09, 2018, 06:19:33 PM
I heard from an old friend for the first time in a while today, this first part I mentioned in the happy thread. The conversation began upbeat, and he asked the inevitable "so what's up?" type question. It amused me greatly to answer "well, I'm transitioning into a woman.". Fun for shock value! But I did so in this case knowing he is the single most progressive person I have ever met, so not really a big deal. That part all went well, and it was amazing to hear from him.
The unhappy part was as the conversation unfolded, I found out what's been happening with him in turn. I should say as well, that this is a guy whose life has eerily mirrored my own at times (in non trans ways), with strange coincidence after coincidence. Unfortunately, this extends to our mothers and cancer. Shortly after mine passed away, his mother was diagnosed. I won't go into full details, but since I last spoke to him he lost his younger brother, which then sent his mother on a downward spiral with her cancer and she passed away too. It truly broke my heart, and I've always feared losing my younger brother so really hit me personally as another parallel(in the sense that I can relate). Then to top it all off, he got screwed over at his job, and is overqualified so having trouble finding a new one.
He's always been a great person, and it absolutely kills me life has just been kicking him around lately. But still, he seems to be surviving despite it all.
That's so sad and my heart truly goes out to both you and your friend. I think it was nice that he reached out to you.
I'm happy to be transitioning but I can't help feeling fearful. I keep thinking people won't accept me and I'll live my life being disappointed. It's negative. Oh at least food is comforting!
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Happy: I watched, Your Name (anime film)
Sad: I watched, Your Name (anime film)
Quote from: Allison S on January 09, 2018, 07:11:15 PM
I'm happy to be transitioning but I can't help feeling fearful. I keep thinking people won't accept me and I'll live my life being disappointed. It's negative. Oh at least food is comforting!
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Hi Allison,
I'm happy that you are transitioning too. We all understand that fear you have too. Yes some may not accept you but more will. You can't let that fear put a damper on what should make you happier than you have ever been. You are finally going to be yourself! That my Dear, is a wonderful thing. Never forget that this is what you always wanted and now you are working on achieving that goal. It is not only import it is who you are!
Hugs,
Laurie
Ordered my new glasses ;D Now I'm broke again :P
I have to go do my G road test today. It's exciting, I know I'll do great, but I'm also scared I might miss something important... This alone has me both happy and sad!
Quote from: Laurie on January 09, 2018, 08:30:46 PM
Hi Allison,
I'm happy that you are transitioning too. We all understand that fear you have too. Yes some may not accept you but more will. You can't let that fear put a damper on what should make you happier than you have ever been. You are finally going to be yourself! That my Dear, is a wonderful thing. Never forget that this is what you always wanted and now you are working on achieving that goal. It is not only import it is who you are!
Hugs,
Laurie
Does it get better? Thats the hard part for me. 4 laser sessions and almost 4 months hrt and I still get called "sir"
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Quote from: Allison S on January 10, 2018, 07:18:49 PM
Does it get better? Thats the hard part for me. 4 laser sessions and almost 4 months hrt and I still get called "sir"
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Yes Lexi it gets better. Hang in there girl.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Allison S on January 10, 2018, 07:18:49 PM
Does it get better? Thats the hard part for me. 4 laser sessions and almost 4 months hrt and I still get called "sir"
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Hi Alison,
In New Zealand we have a cheese ad that says good things take time. I agree with this even though being a person of action ( I want it now). Enjoy the journey and smell the roses
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Quote from: SueNZ on January 11, 2018, 04:06:43 AM
Hi Alison,
In New Zealand we have a cheese ad that says good things take time. I agree with this even though being a person of action ( I want it now). Enjoy the journey and smell the roses
.... Brilliance has struck. Transition cheese should become a tradition. Start the cheese when you begin transitioning, eat the cheese when you are "finished" (ie: happy with yourself and your place in the world).
Quote from: Roll on January 11, 2018, 09:38:33 AM
.... Brilliance has struck. Transition cheese should become a tradition. Start the cheese when you begin transitioning, eat the cheese when you are "finished" (ie: happy with yourself and your place in the world).
Yes! And start aging the wine at the same time.
Stephanie
Quote from: Roll on January 11, 2018, 09:38:33 AM
.... Brilliance has struck. Transition cheese should become a tradition. Start the cheese when you begin transitioning, eat the cheese when you are "finished" (ie: happy with yourself and your place in the world).
That would only work for our FtoMs. Everyone knows that ladies don't "cut the cheese". [emoji16]
The spy who came in from the cold in the War Between the Sexes.
Quote from: Dee Marshall on January 11, 2018, 07:58:38 PM
That would only work for our FtoMs. Everyone knows that ladies don't "cut the cheese". [emoji16]
Cut it? I say just nibble at the whole wheel, ain't got time for cuttin'!
(Sorry, had to sort of walk over the joke on that one to make my stupid comment. ;D)
Quote from: Roll on January 11, 2018, 08:18:05 PM
Cut it? I say just nibble at the whole wheel, ain't got time for cuttin'!
(Sorry, had to sort of walk over the joke on that one to make my stupid comment. ;D)
Thank you! You got me out of that stupid joke. I find myself at that awkward point where I'm still being ladylike when it's just us girls even though I know that other women make those kinds of joke when no men are around.
I loostened up enough to make it but not enough not to be embarrassed that I had.
On this topic line I used to brew beer. It would have been a great idea to brew a special one at the start of transition then toast success with it after finishing.
The spy who came in from the cold in the War Between the Sexes.
Lol cutting cheese.. thanks a lot spiro!
Quote from: SueNZ on January 11, 2018, 04:06:43 AM
Hi Alison,
In New Zealand we have a cheese ad that says good things take time. I agree with this even though being a person of action ( I want it now). Enjoy the journey and smell the roses
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Do men count as roses? Lately they've been giving me lots of strange scents to smell
Thanks Laurie, I have to. I think it's a matter of time
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Got about 48,000 'sirs' today, but I've convinced myself that they're all just saying 'Sarah' really fast instead. :laugh:
I think parking lots should be redesigned: Handicapped, Moms to be, Heels.
Hour 6 at work and 10,000 steps on 4 inch heels :-)
I had my psychiatrist appointment (regarding my gender issues today (which is basically the last step before being referred to a gender specialist), I basically just said about how I want to be female and I'm really confused about my sexuality, and it's taking time for me to understand what being transgender means.
Good news, my doctor will be able to refer me to a gender specialist.
Bad news, my doctor will only be able to refer me to a gender specialist as soon as they receive the report from the psychiatrist (4-8 weeks :-\)
Still, it's a step in the right direction
Quote from: Sinead on January 19, 2018, 04:49:59 PM
I had my psychiatrist appointment (regarding my gender issues today (which is basically the last step before being referred to a gender specialist), I basically just said about how I want to be female and I'm really confused about my sexuality, and it's taking time for me to understand what being transgender means.
Good news, my doctor will be able to refer me to a gender specialist.
Bad news, my doctor will only be able to refer me to a gender specialist as soon as they receive the report from the psychiatrist (4-8 weeks :-\)
Still, it's a step in the right direction
Great news hun, onward! X
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I held a memorial for a dear friend that passed away at 63. He did not want a funeral or any fuss. The evening gave myself and others closure. Rest in piece Kev, you were a great friend and I miss you sorely.
I am thankful for the moments I get to be me (Sue). I am also thankful to be alive.
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I just noticed that I now have stretch marks on my left boob.
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Got a cryptic email from my dad about a student loan payment (which is a dual edged sword because yes they help support me as an adult, but I'm forced to stay in the closet or else I'd be homeless). So I'm both happy about not having to pay for a bit I to my student loan, but feel stuck since I was so close to coming out.
My first therapy appointment in 6 years is tomorrow morning. I will be seeing her for both my transition and also to deal with some other issues I'm having. I'm both terrified and anxious but also really happy I'm finally able to take the step to get better.
I fell on the ice today and my leg hurts really bad... But work has been quiet so I don't have to walk around much today!!
Bra shopping going well today,sales lady called me Zoey whom did fit me for new bras.Also said I looked beautiful as a fulltime crossdresser.Bought 12 new bras to replace 12 bras I had to replace.Wife was with me too.Unhappy,a woman saying I was a weirdo.Had to pick up a dress I had custom made which I did pay for up front.This woman was horrible to me,luckily the owner told her to leave and said I am one of her good customers to this woman.
I changed my name in the beginning of the month and by far Chase and Paypal have been the worst to deal with. Chase requires you to fill out a document that they send you in the mail which you then need to return by mail. I was getting frustrated that it was taking a long time so I sent them a secure message to see if I could speed anything along. The customer service rep responded stating that they needed that specific document but that I could send it to them via the secure messaging system. I replied back and on the first line of that reply I asked them to please refer to me by my new name. I stated that I had already mailed it back and unfortunately didn't make a copy. I asked if there was a way they could email it to me or provide me a download link so I could fill it out then attach it electronically. The rep replied that there were no electronic versions of that letter but in that message they used my old name several times. Needless to say that pissed me off but I was polite replying that their continued use of my old name was unprofessional instead of one where I cursed them out.
It then occurred to me that there is a local Chase branch nearby and maybe they would be able to do it. So I went there and the personal banker who assisted me was wonderful. She was so kind and gendered me correctly through the whole process even after seeing my old id. She updated everything she could. Unfortunately, she wasn't able to request a new card in my new name as another department handles that but she faxed the request to them and verified that my documentation was in their system correctly.
KEWL
I have done alot of shopping and had fun doing it but I now added up how much I spend and ya now not so happy oh well I have some nice clothes and need more
Quote from: natalie.ashlyne on January 24, 2018, 11:06:51 PM
I have done alot of shopping and had fun doing it but I now added up how much I spend and ya now not so happy oh well I have some nice clothes and need more
I take my daughter with me or we go together and somehow it costs me 3 times what I expect or had planned to spend and I just don't know why????????????????????/
Quote from: Cassi on January 24, 2018, 11:09:46 PM
I take my daughter with me or we go together and somehow it costs me 3 times what I expect or had planned to spend and I just don't know why????????????????????/
Ya shopping is fun I used to hate it, i do not know why I did. I was told by a friend I have more clothes than most cis female well I still want more
Quote from: natalie.ashlyne on January 24, 2018, 11:18:52 PM
Ya shopping is fun I used to hate it, i do not know why I did. I was told by a friend I have more clothes than most cis female well I still want more
Shopping before my wife knew who I was was tedious as there is no excitement in male stuff and I had jealousy issues. Shopping now is something I do not shy away from as it's more fun and the choices are huge. My "female attire" out does my "male attire" 2-1. Just wish wearing it was as good a ratio.
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Quote from: SueNZ on January 25, 2018, 03:56:49 AM
Shopping before my wife knew who I was was tedious as there is no excitement in male stuff and I had jealousy issues. Shopping now is something I do not shy away from as it's more fun and the choices are huge. My "female attire" out does my "male attire" 2-1. Just wish wearing it was as good a ratio.
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Last time I was in a store, I had to walk past the women's stuff to get to men's (I needed... um, what was it, I forget... but something in mens) and I was just beyond sad. I kept taking sideways glances at everything as I walked by. Cute bras, tops, pants, shoes, everything. I wanted to stop and shop as me so badly, but I wasn't at a point I could do that.
Quote from: Roll on January 25, 2018, 12:58:51 PM
Last time I was in a store, I had to walk past the women's stuff to get to men's (I needed... um, what was it, I forget... but something in mens) and I was just beyond sad. I kept taking sideways glances at everything as I walked by. Cute bras, tops, pants, shoes, everything. I wanted to stop and shop as me so badly, but I wasn't at a point I could do that.
It was hard for the first few times and got easier and easier the more I purchased stuff though I sometimes thought some people were looking at me and what's weird, I got the feeling they thought I was maybe a shoplifter, lol.
Quote from: Roll on January 25, 2018, 12:58:51 PM
Last time I was in a store, I had to walk past the women's stuff to get to men's (I needed... um, what was it, I forget... but something in mens) and I was just beyond sad. I kept taking sideways glances at everything as I walked by. Cute bras, tops, pants, shoes, everything. I wanted to stop and shop as me so badly, but I wasn't at a point I could do that.
I've noticed that a lot of stores seem to be set up that way, I think they do it as a purposeful marketing ploy to cater to women
No matter what you're there for you have to pass by the woman's, children's and baby areas to get to whatever else you might want or need
But I don't mind really because I like scanning across the woman's section to see what they have ;D
Quote from: V M on January 25, 2018, 02:23:32 PM
I've noticed that a lot of stores seem to be set up that way, I think they do it as a purposeful marketing ploy to cater to women
No matter what you're there for you have to pass by the woman's, children's and baby areas to get to whatever else you might want or need
But I don't mind really because I like scanning across the woman's section to see what they have ;D
I was happy to see my favorite computer program "VM" inputting into the threads but sad that the program hasn't been programmed to say hello as yet :(
Quote from: Cassi on January 25, 2018, 03:13:54 PM
I was happy to see my favorite computer program "VM" inputting into the threads but sad that the program hasn't been programmed to say hello as yet :(
Huh? Will "Howdy suffice?
Anyway, one of my neighbors got a new mattress today - Not sure why because her old mattress still looks good as new
Her caregiver wasn't sure what to do because the company that delivered the new one doesn't take the old mattresses away
So I asked if I could have it because my mattress is more like a hammock than a bed and she happily said "Sure" and even helped me drag it to my apt. (Even with her help I can tell I'm going to be feeling that in the morning)
So now I just need to find someone to help me switch it out for my old mattress
My hair feels very silky yet has cute waves and curls spread all over. Too bad it's still too short to add extensions in..
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Quote from: V M on January 25, 2018, 04:05:33 PM
Huh? Will "Howdy suffice?
Anyway, one of my neighbors got a new mattress today - Not sure why because her old mattress still looks good as new
Her caregiver wasn't sure what to do because the company that delivered the new one doesn't take the old mattresses away
So I asked if I could have it because my mattress is more like a hammock than a bed and she happily said "Sure" and even helped me drag it to my apt. (Even with her help I can tell I'm going to be feeling that in the morning)
So now I just need to find someone to help me switch it out for my old mattress
Howdy is great! I'm delighted that the VM computer program has been modified!
Sorry about your impending aches, they suck for sure. I sometimes get that "I can do anything" attitude and pay for it later, waaaaa.
Quote from: natalie.ashlyne on January 24, 2018, 11:18:52 PM
Ya shopping is fun I used to hate it, i do not know why I did. I was told by a friend I have more clothes than most cis female well I still want more
Lol, my friend tells me that every time I want to go shopping. I have way more clothes than she does now. But I still need more!! How can I get by without several hundred thousand possible combinations?!! ;D
Quote from: Sarah_P on January 25, 2018, 05:52:44 PM
Lol, my friend tells me that every time I want to go shopping. I have way more clothes than she does now. But I still need more!! How can I get by without several hundred thousand possible combinations?!! ;D
Well, ya adopt the Cowgirl look:
8 pairs of cowgirl boots (1 for each day of the week and one for dating)
8 pairs of women's levis (again 1 for each day of the week and one for dating)
8 pairs of panties (ditto)
8 bras (ditto)
8 pairs of socks (ditto)
8 cowgirl hats (ditto)
8 jackets (ditto)
50 blouses (gotta break somewhere)
What made me happy last night?
I had hot wings last night
What made me unhappy?
I had hot wings last night
Quote from: Christy Lee on January 27, 2018, 04:29:03 PM
What made me happy last night?
I had hot wings last night
What made me unhappy?
I had hot wings last night
New tag line:
Hot wings. The ambivalent fast food. You'll love it, and hate it at the same time!
*hugs*
LOL Schrodingers food of choice
Feeling better today then i thought i would but Geez it was nice while eating them but they give me a horrible night sleep
Also there was Pizza
Quote from: Christy Lee on January 27, 2018, 05:11:23 PM
LOL Schrodingers food of choice
Feeling better today then i thought i would but Geez it was nice while eating them but they give me a horrible night sleep
Also there was Pizza
Pizza!!!! What are you? A TMNT?
I thought I had a good theory, but it was misunderstood.
Quote from: Cassi on January 27, 2018, 05:32:32 PM
Pizza!!!! What are you? A TMNT?
Calabanga, yea bro ohh heheheheheehe
ive never seen TMNT not really
Quote from: Christy Lee on January 27, 2018, 06:20:03 PM
Calabanga, yea bro ohh heheheheheehe
ive never seen TMNT not really
It's Cowabunga! :)
My new Coffee maker arrived today ;D I'm going to miss using the hand poured method to make my coffee :-\
Let us know if your new coffee maker is as good at making tasty coffee as you hoped for.
So I'm now out to pretty much everyone I'll see on a regular basis (apart from work colleagues) :)
Looking at the prices of laser hair removal is getting me down :(. I want my arms, legs and face done
Quote from: Sinead on February 04, 2018, 04:42:01 PM
Looking at the prices of laser hair removal is getting me down :(. I want my arms, legs and face done
Same. I figure in for a penny in for a pound, might as well go full body and never shave again.
I was expecting a package earlier today and became excited when there was a knock at my door... So I open my door and there is my neighbor reaching down for my package :-\ With a guilty child look on his face he picks the package up and hands it to me and says "The guy just left this here for you"
Even though I knew I'd just caught him trying to nick my package off my doorstep I just smiled and said "Oh, thank you" and shut the door
So I'm sad that my neighbor is such a creepy scruple-less something something or other but I'm glad I got my package
Quote from: Sinead on February 04, 2018, 04:42:01 PM
So I'm now out to pretty much everyone I'll see on a regular basis (apart from work colleagues) :)
Looking at the prices of laser hair removal is getting me down :(. I want my arms, legs and face done
If you can use waxing to get rid of it temporarily and see what effect HRT has on body hair. Mine disappeared without laser. I did have a little laser on my boobs and further south but otherwise my body hair just went.
Facial hair doesn't change much but body hair can.
Quote from: V M on February 07, 2018, 12:16:32 AM
I was expecting a package earlier today and became excited when there was a knock at my door... So I open my door and there is my neighbor reaching down for my package :-\ With a guilty child look on his face he picks the package up and hands it to me and says "The guy just left this here for you"
Even though I knew I'd just caught him trying to nick my package off my doorstep I just smiled and said "Oh, thank you" and shut the door
So I'm sad that my neighbor is such a creepy scruple-less something something or other but I'm glad I got my package
Urgh... I used to have neighbors that I was pretty sure were taking my packages. I never caught them, though. I finally just got a PO Box and never lost a package again.
happy: expectation that HRT will be started by this time next week
not happy: looks like I have to wait up to a week
*sigh* :D
Quote from: Faith on February 07, 2018, 07:55:46 AM
happy: expectation that HRT will be started by this time next week
not happy: looks like I have to wait up to a week
*sigh* :D
I can relate to your anxiety and anticipation to begin the HRT, I was total stoked and nervous myself as I am sure every MTF on Susan's was at the beginning.
And having been on HRT (an old guardwoman now, lol) for over a month, patience is something that I need to keep and I am sure you'll see that yourself as time progresses.
Best wishes on the beginning and continuing of your adventure!
Happy,a client looking for a house said I looked beautiful as a woman.Told her thank you
Unhappy,a guy cut me off going to work this morning
Quote from: Miss Zoey on February 07, 2018, 12:55:05 PM
Happy,a client looking for a house said I looked beautiful as a woman.Told her thank you
Unhappy,a guy cut me off going to work this morning
Are you sure it wasn't a Trans-Guy? I heard they can't drive :)=
Quote from: Cassi on February 07, 2018, 01:24:02 PM
Are you sure it wasn't a Trans-Guy? I heard they can't drive :)=
No it was not a trans guy,he was one of these guys being a jerk
Quote from: V M on February 07, 2018, 12:16:32 AM
I was expecting a package earlier today and became excited when there was a knock at my door... So I open my door and there is my neighbor reaching down for my package :-\ With a guilty child look on his face he picks the package up and hands it to me and says "The guy just left this here for you"
Even though I knew I'd just caught him trying to nick my package off my doorstep I just smiled and said "Oh, thank you" and shut the door
So I'm sad that my neighbor is such a creepy scruple-less something something or other but I'm glad I got my package
When I lived in an apartment, packages were always delivered to the managers office so I never lost anything. Probably a good thing because my first feminine wardrobe was delivered that way. I can imagine somebody opening a package and finding clothes that were far to large for most women to wear. ;D
Quote from: Miss Zoey on February 07, 2018, 01:47:45 PM
No it was not a trans guy,he was one of these guys being a jerk
Was he driving a Trans-Am?
Quote from: Sarah_P on February 07, 2018, 07:23:35 AM
Urgh... I used to have neighbors that I was pretty sure were taking my packages. I never caught them, though. I finally just got a PO Box and never lost a package again.
That sounds like a great idea ;D
Quote from: Dena on February 07, 2018, 04:09:48 PM
When I lived in an apartment, packages were always delivered to the managers office so I never lost anything. Probably a good thing because my first feminine wardrobe was delivered that way. I can imagine somebody opening a package and finding clothes that were far to large for most women to wear. ;D
LOL... Yes, I can imagine but we didn't have this problem before, it's only recent since there's been quite a turnover in tenants that this and other issues have come up
So much has been changing here, unfortunately most of it not for the better :-\
Quote from: V M on February 07, 2018, 04:25:39 PM
That sounds like a great idea ;D
LOL... Yes, I can imagine but we didn't have this problem before, it's only recent since there's been quite a turnover in tenants that this and other issues have come up
So much has been changing here, unfortunately most of it not for the better :-\
Where my daughter & I ended up moving into here in Vegas wasn't the original place but due to some BS by a former landlord things happened differently. One thing is that the USPS doesn't deliver to each house but rather to a set of what are called gang boxes. And sadly, they are broken into a lot. Anyway, ended up getting a PO box which is both more secure and when the time comes to move we don't really have to change our address.
I 20-something woman came into work today and repeatedly sir'd me.
But, a lovely young lady (also 20-something, with super long hair I was totally jealous of!) standing there just glared at her, shook her head, and said 'some people are just ignorant'. :)
Quote from: Cassi on February 07, 2018, 04:24:30 PM
Was he driving a Trans-Am?
No,he was driving a beat up Honda Accord
I was sitting in my room and could hear someone at my neighbor's door and thought... "Hmmm, he sounds angry"
Didn't really think much of it though because he tends to piss a lot of people off fairly regularly
So later on I decide to go check the mail and just walk around a bit, when I came back another neighbor was over there freakin' out and asking what had happened
Turns out that whoever was there earlier was right pissed and knocked him and his place about a bit
I don't support violence, but I guess one of his hinky dealings caught up with him
Oh, almost forgot, he's the one I caught trying to nick my package yesterday
Quote from: V M on February 07, 2018, 07:51:15 PM
I was sitting in my room and could hear someone at my neighbor's door and thought... "Hmmm, he sounds angry"
Didn't really think much of it though because he tends to piss a lot of people off fairly regularly
So later on I decide to go check the mail and just walk around a bit, when I came back another neighbor was over there freakin' out and asking what had happened
Turns out that whoever was there earlier was right pissed and knocked him and his place about a bit
I don't support violence, but I guess one of his hinky dealings caught up with him
Oh, almost forgot, he's the one I caught trying to nick my package yesterday
"The arm of the Universe is long but it eventually bends towards Justice!" MLK
or
Karma is a Bitch!
Quote from: Cassi on February 07, 2018, 08:24:05 PM
Karma is a Bitch!
I think I'm gonna roll with that LOL ;D
Quote from: V M on February 07, 2018, 07:51:15 PM
Oh, almost forgot, he's the one I caught trying to nick my package yesterday
I was going to ask that! I wonder if you're not the only one that caught him stealing their packages!
I don't know what he did on that one but the guy was having none of it
I was admonished by my wife for leaving a curling iron plugged in, my bad :(
She prefaced it with: Alright Ms Faith, .... :)
I made the mistake of coming our way too soon on Facebook, I haven't even told work that I'm trans yet (I don't have anyone from work on Facebook). I intend to inform my manager that I'm questioning my gender.
Although I no longer have to hide anything from anyone anymore, I know feel under more pressure to begin presenting female (at least outside of work) as soon as possible, however, I need laser therapy on my face, I need to learn make-up (both of which I'm intending to do this week), I also need a girl's wardrobe and a human hair wig, the one I have at the moment is synthetic and is in a bit of a state.
Anxious much!
I have realized that I am tired of being along I so want some one that loves me for me and that I can love for them. I was told by the last girl that I was with that I would just touch her and she would be happy apparently it was how I touched her and where. The reason I knew how and where to touch her is the same spots I want some one to touch me there. So I did not really want to find anyone yet but I realize that I do need someone in my life and not to shut down any possibilities that a relationship could happen
Quote from: natalie.ashlyne on February 12, 2018, 09:44:29 AM
I have realized that I am tired of being along I so want some one that loves me for me and that I can love for them. I was told by the last girl that I was with that I would just touch her and she would be happy apparently it was how I touched her and where. The reason I knew how and where to touch her is the same spots I want some one to touch me there. So I did not really want to find anyone yet but I realize that I do need someone in my life and not to shut down any possibilities that a relationship could happen
TransStrong - March On!
My car is fixed just the battery and it was $250 for the battery so could be worse
Happy and sad.
Well, yesterday, I started going thru my closet to bag up my "man" clothes for donation. I've been wearing fem gray tennis shoes and pants for a month now and have gotten rid of my male undies and quite a few pairs of levis, suites, etc.
Just keeping a few items in case I have to present man. The few who know me tell me that I've morphing (lack of a better word) into being more female but I don't see it yet.
On one hand I'm happy that I am more comfortable in women's clothes and on the other hand feel awkward getting rid of the bulk of my male attire.
Quote from: Cassi on February 12, 2018, 11:08:43 AM
Happy and sad.
Well, yesterday, I started going thru my closet to bag up my "man" clothes for donation. I've been wearing fem gray tennis shoes and pants for a month now and have gotten rid of my male undies and quite a few pairs of levis, suites, etc.
Just keeping a few items in case I have to present man. The few who know me tell me that I've morphing (lack of a better word) into being more female but I don't see it yet.
On one hand I'm happy that I am more comfortable in women's clothes and on the other hand feel awkward getting rid of the bulk of my male attire.
yes it is hard I still have a few things nike sweat shirts and sweat pants that I kept because I can not get rid of them.
Last night i was browsing on my phone and i saw this picture of a guy seeing himself as a women in the mirror and it read ITS OK to be an individual
i teared up abit
My wife unbuttoned my top.......but only because she didn't believe I wasn't wearing a padded bra.
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Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
:) - I've nearly got all of the make-up I need, primer, powder, foundation, concealer
:( - it's not cheap, £67 for my Bobbi Brown concealer & powder
The sole of the converse I've been wearing for two years totally came off while I was trying to land a kickflip...at least it means I can get new shoes finally!! Also, I can't hit all the high notes I used to be able to which sucks because I can't sing all the songs I used to be able to but I'm able to sing and speak in most of the male tenor range pre T which is really exciting!!
I'm happy because my niece is coming to visit for a week and the Twin Sisters have begun to show, last night it felt as if a 2/3's size golf ball had been stuck under the aerolas and today the aerolas are puffy.
Unhappy because niece isn't here yet and the Twin Sisters come and go :)
Quote from: Cassi on February 18, 2018, 11:48:51 AM
last night it felt as if a 2/3's size golf ball had been stuck under the aerolas and today the aerolas are puffy.
:)
Congrats ;D Sounds like the magic is beginning to happen for you
Quote from: V M on February 18, 2018, 05:23:26 PM
Congrats ;D Sounds like the magic is beginning to happen for you
Thanks! It's either that or I'm going crazy. I showed my daughter today, mainly to get confirmation and she grabbed it, ouch.
Happy is finally getting the Form back from the clerk of courts so I can do the stupid publishing for my name change.
Unhappy is a 3:30 pm hearing so I'll need to take the next day off also to make all the changes everywhere. Suppose it means I can camp out at the social security office over night and not have to wait excessively.
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Quote from: TonyaW on February 19, 2018, 01:54:56 PM
Happy is finally getting the Form back from the clerk of courts so I can do the stupid publishing for my name change.
Unhappy is a 3:30 pm hearing so I'll need to take the next day off also to make all the changes everywhere. Suppose it means I can camp out at the social security office over night and not have to wait excessively.
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So your taking a day off.
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I went shopping today. I was dressed andro, painted nails, long hair down and dangly earrings but no makeup. I was wearing women's jeans and a man's coat.
I was looking at stockings at a big department store when a male associate came over, pointed and said, "The men's socks are over there." >:(
When I went to pay for the stockings, the woman at the cash register said, "I can help you over here ma'am." ;D
Later, I stopped at the drugstore to pick up some nail polish and remover. There I got in an animated conversation with the girl at the counter about nail polish. She said she really liked my color. It was fun! ;D
Happy that I was called "sir" by two different salespeople at two different stores this week.
Sad that I was misgendered by an elderly librarian today.
Ryuichi
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I'll preface this with: I have almost never remembered my dreams. It is an extraordinarily rare occasion I remember my dreams. On top of that, my sleep in general has never been particularly great.
So for my birthday I was given a fitbit. One thing you can do with it is track sleep stages through heart rate, and last night I gave it a try. So I'm happy that I think I've finally found my reason why, unhappy it's a thing to begin with and I really don't think its solvable. Apparently, I spend less than 2% of the night in REM. (You're supposed to spend 20-25%.) So yeah. Explains a whole lot if the numbers are accurate. I am going to test it again next few nights, but somehow I don't expect different results. And of course it's just a fitbit not 100% reliable, but it is a pretty darn good indicator. (Yes, I said darn. Wanna fight about it? ;D)
Quote from: Roll on February 25, 2018, 08:32:38 AM
I'll preface this with: I have almost never remembered my dreams. It is an extraordinarily rare occasion I remember my dreams. On top of that, my sleep in general has never been particularly great.
So for my birthday I was given a fitbit. One thing you can do with it is track sleep stages through heart rate, and last night I gave it a try. So I'm happy that I think I've finally found my reason why, unhappy it's a thing to begin with and I really don't think its solvable. Apparently, I spend less than 2% of the night in REM. (You're supposed to spend 20-25%.) So yeah. Explains a whole lot if the numbers are accurate. I am going to test it again next few nights, but somehow I don't expect different results. And of course it's just a fitbit not 100% reliable, but it is a pretty darn good indicator. (Yes, I said darn. Wanna fight about it? ;D)
That's interesting. I rarely remember dreams (only 2 that I can clearly remember during my whole life). I wonder if lack of REM could help explain that & my issues with memory and focus, plus feeling tired no matter how much sleep I get.
Well went out for drinks last night had fun I got propositioned to become an escort on weekends I politely turned it down I was happy that I was asked by the owner herself but I am not it to that anymore I don't really want that life style again I want to find someone I can be with the rest of my life
That's sweet.
People barking orders at me. Like that ever works! :laugh:
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on February 25, 2018, 05:27:29 PM
People barking orders at me. Like that ever works! :laugh:
Barking orders at the Devyln........Saints be praised!
Quote from: Roll on February 25, 2018, 08:32:38 AM
I'll preface this with: I have almost never remembered my dreams. It is an extraordinarily rare occasion I remember my dreams. On top of that, my sleep in general has never been particularly great.
So for my birthday I was given a fitbit. One thing you can do with it is track sleep stages through heart rate, and last night I gave it a try. So I'm happy that I think I've finally found my reason why, unhappy it's a thing to begin with and I really don't think its solvable. Apparently, I spend less than 2% of the night in REM. (You're supposed to spend 20-25%.) So yeah. Explains a whole lot if the numbers are accurate. I am going to test it again next few nights, but somehow I don't expect different results. And of course it's just a fitbit not 100% reliable, but it is a pretty darn good indicator. (Yes, I said darn. Wanna fight about it? ;D)
Sleep Apnea!
Quote from: Cassi on February 25, 2018, 05:36:23 PM
Sleep Apnea!
Never had any additional symptoms of sleep apnea actually, just basic insomnia over the years falling asleep(I usually feel perfectly rested, it's just hard to get to sleep basically). My dad doesn't really sleep, never has, so I'm assuming it is another weird genetic thing. The lack of REM and never remembering dreams is really the only thing aside from that slow to fall asleep insomnia.
:) - I had my laser hair removal session on Thursday, I'm getting my full face done.
:( - it hurt like a bitch!
appointment at PP today for BP test and injection training .. no training because, no injections.
unhappy: no spiro until I get 'permission' from my GP about using it along with my current bp meds. Really? you couldn't have said that on the last visit?????
happy: I did get my low-dose prescription for estradiol pills which was filled immediately at my pharmacy for cheap.
At least it's finally started albeit abbreviated.
This girl I've been seeing on and off has been coming around again 8) I wish she lived closer and could visit more often :-\
Quote from: V M on February 27, 2018, 08:36:26 AM
This girl I've been seeing on and off has been coming around again 8) I wish she lived closer and could visit more often :-\
Well, that sounds half good. You had me worried.
Quote from: Roll on February 25, 2018, 07:38:44 PM
Never had any additional symptoms of sleep apnea actually, just basic insomnia over the years falling asleep(I usually feel perfectly rested, it's just hard to get to sleep basically). My dad doesn't really sleep, never has, so I'm assuming it is another weird genetic thing. The lack of REM and never remembering dreams is really the only thing aside from that slow to fall asleep insomnia.
I never realized that I had sleep apnea until later in life. Weight can be a factor. Also, energy drinks and caffeine can be fiends, I may have a cup of ice coffee in the morning but none in the afternoon or if I have a headache, I avoid headache pills with caffeine in the afternoon.
What I did find that was great is that once I have the mask on and cool air is coming in I fall to sleep rather quickly.
Quote from: Cassi on February 27, 2018, 01:53:43 PM
Well, that sounds half good. You had me worried.
It's a "just friends" kinda thing but it's been nice to have some company again for a change
Quote from: V M on February 27, 2018, 07:06:08 PM
It's a "just friends" kinda thing but it's been nice to have some company again for a change
I can totally relate to that. Isolation is the pits. Did that off and on in Texas.
After a lengthy absence the sun has appeared ;D Unfortunately that does not guarantee any semblance of warmth quite yet where I live :-\
Quote from: V M on March 04, 2018, 03:31:56 PM
After a lengthy absence the sun has appeared ;D Unfortunately that does not guarantee any semblance of warmth quite yet where I live :-\
March 21st - 1st day of Spring......................................
Quote from: Cassi on March 04, 2018, 03:51:42 PM
March 21st - 1st day of Spring......................................
Yeah, Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and PTSD are a pretty messed up mix to have in one's 'Nut Basket' but I'll get through it somehow... I think
Quote from: V M on March 04, 2018, 04:00:27 PM
Yeah, Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and PTSD are a pretty messed up mix to have in one's 'Nut Basket' but I'll get through it somehow... I think
My late wife and I were married on April 1st (not as a joke but the necessity of getting her covered by med insurance). First wife had to be married on the 1st day of Spring so I guess that makes me have to remember it every year.
Hang in there!!!!!!
I'm at the endo this afternoon.
On the good side I now only have to come here once a year instead of twice.
On the negative side she ordered a bone density scan in addition to the usual blood work.
On the really negative side if the blood work and the scan don't go my way there's a 24 hour urine test in my future. Yuck!
The spy who came in from the cold in the War Between the Sexes.
I've finished 10 hours of electrolysis, but I've that's barely a drop in the bucket to reach the end....
I was looking in the mirror before my shower and thinking... "Oh my, but I don't look half bad for a gal my age" :icon_chick:
Then I saw it, the annoying dangler looking all limp and sad and I began to commiserate along with it a bit :-\
Then thought "Well, we'll have to do something about that" and skipped along to get on with my day ;D
Quote from: V M on March 10, 2018, 07:02:17 PM
I was looking in the mirror before my shower and thinking... "Oh my, but I don't look half bad for a gal my age" :icon_chick:
Then I saw it, the annoying dangler looking all limp and sad and I began to commiserate along with it a bit :-\
Then thought "Well, we'll have to do something about that" and skipped along to get on with my day ;D
That darn thing - makes it nearly impossible to sit like a proper lady!
I sold my lathe today. A Cincinnati 12.5" x 48" tray top metal cutting lathe. They really don't make them like that beast any more. I'll miss that thing.
On the up side this will cover round 2 and part of my final SRS prep electro treatment.
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on March 11, 2018, 07:16:09 PM
I sold my lathe today. A Cincinnati 12.5" x 48" tray top metal cutting lathe. They really don't make them like that beast any more. I'll miss that thing.
On the up side this will cover round 2 and part of my final SRS prep electro treatment.
Kewl
Quote from: V M on March 10, 2018, 07:02:17 PM
I was looking in the mirror before my shower and thinking... "Oh my, but I don't look half bad for a gal my age" :icon_chick:
Then I saw it, the annoying dangler looking all limp and sad and I began to commiserate along with it a bit :-\
Then thought "Well, we'll have to do something about that" and skipped along to get on with my day ;D
@ V M: That is unfortunately a thought that goes through many of our minds. When I get out of the shower and look in the mirror, sometimes I am still in disbelief at seeing the woman staring back at me.
I try to always direct my gaze above the hips.... I like what I see there best!!!!
Danielle
Was scheduled for my second laser today, but the lady was having an issue and had to reschedule. Unfortunately, that is a big problem for me with car situation. By pure luck it worked out and I can get a ride with my dad tomorrow morning, but now I'm going to have to wait around for like 4 hours doing nothing. Was already even on the road headed out there when she texted me asking to reschedule. Just.. irritating to say the least.
But what did get my spirits up a bit is that I was nearby where my favorite childhood pizza place moved to, Pizza Inn, a somewhat small chain. No one ever wants to go there because supposedly it had gotten terrible since I left originally, but I saw it in the list of nearby places and it had a 4.7, so I said forget other people being whiners, I'm going and just finding out for myself. Well, it was perfect. Exactly how I remembered, and it was just a very pleasant return to an easier time in my life, before I spiraled down in my late teens and 20s. Seriously, I probably put the delivery guy's kids through college off of tips. They had a great buffet for like 8 bucks, and would put any pizza you wanted out on it. Thin crust pepperoni and hamburger from pizza inn, the food that I ate literally twice a week growing up. Fresh, delicious, and every bit as good as I remembered. They also have amazing cinnamon rolls, a great salad bar (not that I paid attention to it as a kid), and more... but that pizza, oh dear god, it was so good. I probably ate 2000 calories for lunch alone, but you know what? I don't care. That was 100% worth it.
Quote from: Dee Marshall on March 06, 2018, 01:24:45 PM
I'm at the endo this afternoon.
On the good side I now only have to come here once a year instead of twice.
On the negative side she ordered a bone density scan in addition to the usual blood work.
On the really negative side if the blood work and the scan don't go my way there's a 24 hour urine test in my future. Yuck!
The spy who came in from the cold in the War Between the Sexes.
Your comment on the bone density scan scared me - my doctor wants me to have one too. What gives?
Quote from: Cassi on March 12, 2018, 02:53:52 PM
Your comment on the bone density scan scared me - my doctor wants me to have one too. What gives?
Bone density by it self isn't so critical. It looks for osteoporosis, which is treatable. I have hypercalcemia and the scan was to make sure the extra calcium wasn't leached from my bones. It wasn't. My bones are fine.
Hypercalcemia can lead to kidney stones and I don't know what all else. I should look, I suppose.
The spy who came in from the cold in the War Between the Sexes.
Quote from: Dee Marshall on March 12, 2018, 04:11:09 PM
Bone density by it self isn't so critical. It looks for osteoporosis, which is treatable. I have hypercalcemia and the scan was to make sure the extra calcium wasn't leached from my bones. It wasn't. My bones are fine.
Hypercalcemia can lead to kidney stones and I don't know what all else. I should look, I suppose.
The spy who came in from the cold in the War Between the Sexes.
Thanks Dee, you had me worried for a few minutes. More of a precautionary test then?
Quote from: Cassi on March 12, 2018, 04:12:35 PM
Thanks Dee, you had me worried for a few minutes. More of a precautionary test then?
Yeah. I just looked at the causes. Some of them are not so nice. However one of my doctors had me on vitamin D. That could well have caused it. I won't worry until I have cause to worry.
The funny thing is that hypercalcemia isn't common in men below 63, so if I have it my hormones must be making a difference.
Bright side.
The spy who came in from the cold in the War Between the Sexes.
Quote from: Dee Marshall on March 12, 2018, 04:18:06 PM
Yeah. I just looked at the causes. Some of them are not so nice. However one of my doctors had me on vitamin D. That could well have caused it. I won't worry until I have cause to worry.
The funny thing is that hypercalcemia isn't common in men below 63, so if I have it my hormones must be making a difference.
Bright side.
The spy who came in from the cold in the War Between the Sexes.
Interesting you mention Vitamin D, my doctor also had prescribed that and once while looking at blood tests I noted it was noted I had a low count for it.
Quote from: Roll on March 12, 2018, 02:41:36 PM
I probably ate 2000 calories for lunch alone, but you know what? I don't care. That was 100% worth it.
Sometimes a little taste of nostalgia is worth the extra calories. :D
Quote from: Roll on March 12, 2018, 02:41:36 PM
Was scheduled for my second laser today, but the lady was having an issue and had to reschedule. Unfortunately, that is a big problem for me with car situation. By pure luck it worked out and I can get a ride with my dad tomorrow morning, but now I'm going to have to wait around for like 4 hours doing nothing. Was already even on the road headed out there when she texted me asking to reschedule. Just.. irritating to say the least.
But what did get my spirits up a bit is that I was nearby where my favorite childhood pizza place moved to, Pizza Inn, a somewhat small chain. No one ever wants to go there because supposedly it had gotten terrible since I left originally, but I saw it in the list of nearby places and it had a 4.7, so I said forget other people being whiners, I'm going and just finding out for myself. Well, it was perfect. Exactly how I remembered, and it was just a very pleasant return to an easier time in my life, before I spiraled down in my late teens and 20s. Seriously, I probably put the delivery guy's kids through college off of tips. They had a great buffet for like 8 bucks, and would put any pizza you wanted out on it. Thin crust pepperoni and hamburger from pizza inn, the food that I ate literally twice a week growing up. Fresh, delicious, and every bit as good as I remembered. They also have amazing cinnamon rolls, a great salad bar (not that I paid attention to it as a kid), and more... but that pizza, oh dear god, it was so good. I probably ate 2000 calories for lunch alone, but you know what? I don't care. That was 100% worth it.
Roll... only 2000 calories!! Good luck getting rescheduled for your Laser treatment.... perhaps another 2000 calories when you schedule the appointment again!!!!!!
Danielle
Guys noticing and staring at me. But I think I've been getting a lot more (than usual for me) food at dominos lately. I think they know my name now because he was like "Rae?" (I go by this when I order food lol) like we were friends and had met before. I do get food there a lot but that's the first time I saw him. It was like 3am at the time too though (only person ordering)
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Quote from: Allison S on March 13, 2018, 03:08:58 PM
Guys noticing and staring at me. But I think I've been getting a lot more (than usual for me) food at dominos lately. I think they know my name now because he was like "Rae?" (I go by this when I order food lol) like we were friends and had met before. I do get food there a lot but that's the first time I saw him. It was like 3am at the time too though (only person ordering)
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Curious and curiouser......
Quote from: Cassi on March 13, 2018, 04:05:18 PM
Curious and curiouser......
Why? Lol
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Electrolysis.
Happy because I'm another couple of hundred hairs closer to my goal. Unhappy, because it hurt like hell, and it's taking forever.
Quote from: Allison S on March 13, 2018, 04:40:38 PM
Why? Lol
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3AM and the only guy is someone who calls you by your name. Unless there was a Pizza Anon meeting in the area :)
I thought about doing something about my pizza addiction, but I know I'm too weak
Quote from: V M on March 13, 2018, 06:09:27 PM
I thought about doing something about my pizza addiction, but I know I'm too weak
Darn you VM!!!!!!
You remembered I had posted I had 4 pizzas in the freezer the other day and now there's 3 and soon to be 2!
Revenge is a Pizza Best Served With Anchovies!
Quote from: Cassi on March 13, 2018, 06:33:54 PM
Darn you VM!!!!!!
You remembered I had posted I had 4 pizzas in the freezer the other day and now there's 3 and soon to be 2!
Revenge is a Pizza Best Served With Anchovies!
Not on my watch
Opening my mail today... both Happy and Unhappy letters...
..... Hmmm, a thank you card, and then some bills.
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on March 13, 2018, 08:28:18 PM
Opening my mail today... both Happy and Unhappy letters...
..... Hmmm, a thank you card, and then some bills.
Male/Mail can be sooooooooooooooo depressing, one in being one or working on not being one and the other bills. Unless of course the Mail Mail brings you Happy Pills :)
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on March 13, 2018, 08:28:18 PM
Opening my mail today... both Happy and Unhappy letters...
..... Hmmm, a thank you card, and then some bills.
I keep getting credit card offers for some guy who's long gone, and never coming back. ;D
Quote from: Sarah_P on March 13, 2018, 09:12:58 PM
I keep getting credit card offers for some guy who's long gone, and never coming back. ;D
I HATE that. They go into the trash with prejudice. Often in little pieces. Then they go to the burn pit. And the ashes are ground up and fed to the honey badgers. After they've been run through that they're put in a paper bag and left on the sender's doorstep on fire.
Not that bitter or anything.
Stephanie
Quote from: Sarah_P on March 13, 2018, 09:12:58 PM
I keep getting credit card offers for some guy who's long gone, and never coming back. ;D
You just gave me an amazing idea for a murder mystery. Someone who kills someone of the opposite gender, then takes their place as them post transition. It's like the talented Mr. Ripley but trans!
The subway in nyc. It gets me to where I gotta go but people can be real jerks
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Quote from: Steph2.0 on March 15, 2018, 11:21:14 AM
I HATE that. They go into the trash with prejudice. Often in little pieces. Then they go to the burn pit. And the ashes are ground up and fed to the honey badgers. After they've been run through that they're put in a paper bag and left on the sender's doorstep on fire.
Not that bitter or anything.
Stephanie
LOL!! I was tempted to burn them, but didn't. But now that you've given me the idea....
Quote from: Roll on March 15, 2018, 07:16:29 PM
You just gave me an amazing idea for a murder mystery. Someone who kills someone of the opposite gender, then takes their place as them post transition. It's like the talented Mr. Ripley but trans!
I'd read that!
Quote from: Roll on March 15, 2018, 07:16:29 PM
You just gave me an amazing idea for a murder mystery. Someone who kills someone of the opposite gender, then takes their place as them post transition. It's like the talented Mr. Ripley but trans!
Or an even creepier "Mrs. Doubtfire". Why not? It's at least been a couple of days since anyone dipped into the "transwomen are crazy serial killers" well. We need to be accepted before those kinds of movies are acceptable again. Give it a century and make it a "holo-vision".
The spy who came in from the cold in the War Between the Sexes.
Quote from: Dee Marshall on March 16, 2018, 06:14:16 AM
Or an even creepier "Mrs. Doubtfire". Why not? It's at least been a couple of days since anyone dipped into the "transwomen are crazy serial killers" well. We need to be accepted before those kinds of movies are acceptable again. Give it a century and make it a "holo-vision".
The spy who came in from the cold in the War Between the Sexes.
Heck, do a trans parody of Alice in Wonderland. Drink Me T, Eat Me E, etc...................
The Mad Hatter could be a pimp :)
Quote from: Cassi on March 16, 2018, 01:55:07 PM
Heck, do a trans parody of Alice in Wonderland. Drink Me T, Eat Me E, etc...................
The Mad Hatter could be a pimp :)
Not a pimp. "The Mad Hatter's T Party" wouldn't make any sense.
The spy who came in from the cold in the War Between the Sexes.
Quote from: Dee Marshall on March 16, 2018, 02:57:43 PM
Not a pimp. "The Mad Hatter's T Party" wouldn't make any sense.
The spy who came in from the cold in the War Between the Sexes.
Good point Dee!
And funny too.
While looking for some picture hanging stuff I found a ring I'd lost about ten or so years ago
Quote from: V M on March 23, 2018, 01:36:49 AM
While looking for some picture hanging stuff I found a ring I'd lost about ten or so years ago
Wow. So that's what slip through the void.
A woman patron that's been very supportive of me came into work today with her adorable little granddaughter. Grandma says 'Hey, there's Miss Sarah! Can you say hi to Miss Sarah?' :) . The little girl (maybe 3 yo?) looks at me for a moment, shakes her head & says 'no.'. :(
Getting weird looks, still getting called he and stuff but mostly feel like I look weird since now my masculine features are just way off. This is the price I'm willing to pay to get to where I need to be, but it does suck and take a toll in the moment...
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A miracle happened this morning and an old game I have been wanting to play finally worked on my laptop! So that was awesome.
I am a bit unhappy that I can't find anymore skelanimals to purchase due to the fact that they stopped making them I guess. I mean, there are still some to buy but I do not like any of the ones that are available. Hey, the fact that I am unhappy over stuffed animals means my day is actually going pretty well lol .
Randi and I went shopping today. I saw two dresses and a pair of tights I absolutely loved but I don't have the money for them just now.
The spy who came in from the cold in the War Between the Sexes.
I'm having an extremely bad week dysphoria wise, I feel numb to the core, and completely empty. The facial hair removal cream I tried didn't work, I'm 2 sessions through laser hair removal and I'm terrified that it's not going to work.
I'm loving having hairless arms, they're so smooth, it makes me feel good :)
My sister asked if I want to become a woman. She said I'm looking different. I haven't told her. Then someone calls me sir later.. It's only 1:30pm. Can't I just be genderless already to make this transition a bit easier?
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Quote from: Allison S on April 05, 2018, 12:30:13 PM
My sister asked if I want to become a woman. She said I'm looking different. I haven't told her. Then someone calls me sir later.. It's only 1:30pm. Can't I just be genderless already to make this transition a bit easier?
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Not being seen as a woman sucks big time, and I am sorry you are going through that. Unfortunately the changes come slowly but it will happen eventually or at least I hope so. Maybe this reply is a bit predictable, and I wish I knew how to make the perfect reply to make you feel better, but I do hope that you will become happy someday!
I hope this reply does not come off as weird or anything, as I am just trying to be friendly and helpful in some way.
Quote from: Sinead on April 05, 2018, 08:23:20 AM
I'm having an extremely bad week dysphoria wise, I feel numb to the core, and completely empty. The facial hair removal cream I tried didn't work, I'm 2 sessions through laser hair removal and I'm terrified that it's not going to work.
I'm loving having hairless arms, they're so smooth, it makes me feel good :)
Yeah, most creams tend to be complete crap unfortunately. Laser hair removal does work, but it takes quite a few sessions. I will say that it is WAY better then electrolysis as that is like the worst hell I have ever been through pain wise. So yeah, just give it some time and you will see results.
Thanks. I know you've been through similar experience at one point, as most of us have, so it does help to hear. I also know not to compare my journey to others... it's just really hard not to have a guide or map to follow, you know? So much is unexpected, not gauranteed and just so scary..
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Back in September, my HRT doctor referred me to a shrink for one of my surgery referral letters. It's been seven months, so I called the psychiatrist just to confirm that I was still on the list. The good news: yes, I am still on the waiting list. The bad news: they have no idea when I will hear about an appointment. >:(
Over the last two days:
Thursday:
Unhappy: My purse was stolen with my ID, $55 in cash and all my credit/debit cards. Thankfully my keys and phone were on me.
Somewhat Happy: There is a video of the thieves (and man/woman couple) using one of my cards at a nearby Footlocker that I couldn't cancel until later because Barclay's Bank's computer system was down. Jersey City police seemed like they really cared and are going to be able to get the video from the Footlocker store. I have the detective's contact information including E-MAIL address.
Friday:
Unhappy: Spent 2½ hours at the NJ DMV to get my replacement license. Glad I had my passport since I can't change my TN birth certificate so I didn't have to out myself.
Somewhat Happy: Since my license expired in June, I was allowed to just go ahead and renew it so I don't have to go back again for another 4 years. I did get a better picture sort of.... my old license picture was taken 6 months on HRT. With the prison photo filter that the DMV uses here (and you're not allowed to smile) instead of looking like an androgynous serial killer, I look like a female serial killer.
Chocolate
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Quote from: Sydney_NYC on April 07, 2018, 12:27:56 AM
Over the last two days:
Thursday:
Unhappy: My purse was stolen with my ID, $55 in cash and all my credit/debit cards. Thankfully my keys and phone were on me.
Somewhat Happy: There is a video of the thieves (and man/woman couple) using one of my cards at a nearby Footlocker that I couldn't cancel until later because Barclay's Bank's computer system was down. Jersey City police seemed like they really cared and are going to be able to get the video from the Footlocker store. I have the detective's contact information including E-MAIL address.
Friday:
Unhappy: Spent 2½ hours at the NJ DMV to get my replacement license. Glad I had my passport since I can't change my TN birth certificate so I didn't have to out myself.
Somewhat Happy: Since my license expired in June, I was allowed to just go ahead and renew it so I don't have to go back again for another 4 years. I did get a better picture sort of.... my old license picture was taken 6 months on HRT. With the prison photo filter that the DMV uses here (and you're not allowed to smile) instead of looking like an androgynous serial killer, I look like a female serial killer.
Sydney I'm so sorry! I hope it all gets straightened out soon. New York is bad, too. Not only can we not smile, but the picture is black and white. Ugh!
The spy who came in from the cold in the War Between the Sexes.
Quote from: Allison S on April 07, 2018, 12:38:36 AM
Chocolate
This is a very wise and insightful statement. And I agree.
Quote from: Sarah_P on April 07, 2018, 09:07:56 AM
This is a very wise and insightful statement. And I agree.
[emoji4] thanks, such an amazing yet awful food lol
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Quote from: Allison S on April 07, 2018, 11:00:16 AM
[emoji4] thanks, such an amazing yet awful awesome food lol
There ya go Allison. Fixed it for ya.
Stephanie
Quote from: Steph2.0 on April 07, 2018, 12:17:15 PM
There ya go Allison. Fixed it for ya.
Stephanie
[emoji23] maybe if it was 0 calories!
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I've been indulging in a new daydream today. It involves me going home for the first time in nearly twenty years. When I get off the plane I'm post-SRS, post name change, the effects of HRT are clearly showing, my fingernails are painted, my hair is grown out, I'm wearing a pretty dress and my parents are happy to see me. This will never happen.
Spending the day in the hospital with congestive heart failure again. Being alive when I woke up. My family gathering around me in the hospital room. I have told everyone I encounter I am transgender. So far nobody cares. Even being in a catholic hospital.
Quote from: DawnOday on April 07, 2018, 05:14:27 PM
Spending the day in the hospital with congestive heart failure again. Being alive when I woke up. My family gathering around me in the hospital room. I have told everyone I encounter I am transgender. So far nobody cares. Even being in a catholic hospital.
Hope you're feeling better and this bout is coming right. You are an awesome person and a very positive influence. My thoughts and feelings are with you.
Hugs Sue.
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Thank you dear. Once I took the lasix and pee'd my brains out . All was well again. It's just scary not being able to breath. Thanks for the kind words. I am really not the ass I portrayed in my male form. Thank goodness. It really has made a difference in my life finally coming out.
Hi Dawn,
So glad you woke up in the hospital, not glad you were in the hospital, sad about that, but glad, well hopefully you know what I mean.
Your comment about not breathing and how frightening it is hit home. I think I was in my late 30's when I awoke to not being able to breathe. It scared the crap out of me and over the years it would happen every so often.
I later found out it was sleep apnea but at the time couldn't handle the restrictions of the large mask. I did make sure that there were no nails or other things on the wall next to my side of the bed and taught or reinforced myself to remember to relax as I slammed my back into the wall to push air out and gather it in. For 2 year now I have a CPAP machine which has resulted in no further need to body slam myself.
Well after 4 years my 24 thousand dollar debt with the C.R.A. is close to be paid off and I will be aloud to change my name finally what a pain in the A$$
Wow!!! That much money owed to the Canadian Rifle Association???????
Quote from: Cassi on April 08, 2018, 08:40:12 PM
Wow!!! That much money owed to the Canadian Rifle Association???????
Lol no Canadian Revenue Agency our version of IRS (the Tax man)
Quote from: natalie.ashlyne on April 08, 2018, 08:45:02 PM
Lol no Canadian Revenue Agency our version of IRS (the Tax man)
Oooooooooooooooooooooh, so you didn't buy $25,000 in guns!!!! I C
Quote from: Cassi on April 08, 2018, 08:48:59 PM
Oooooooooooooooooooooh, so you didn't buy $25,000 in guns!!!! I C
No, not in to guns and Canada has laws and gun control it would not be worth it for me. but on the other hand paying the Tax man was not worth it either .
Quote from: natalie.ashlyne on April 08, 2018, 08:52:53 PM
No, not in to guns and Canada has laws and gun control it would not be worth it for me. but on the other hand paying the Tax man was not worth it either .
Well, glad you're getting outta that mess :)
Wow Natalie, that must be such a relief. That was a lot of money!!
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My life is so bizzare sometimes
I have a friend who happens to be a girl but she's pretty busy with work and has a kid - She comes over now and then and I usually cook her some dinner and we'll watch TV and snuggle and kiss a bit but I don't really see things going much further than that - She's rather pretty and easy going, actually seems to like the fact that I have breasts and encourages me to dress and critiques my look
Another time she brought another girl with her and they wanted me to play guitar while they made out
On her last visit we took a shower together, we didn't have sex and I felt a bit awkward but it felt good just being together
I'm not sure what to think of it all but I've been invited to a "Girls Night" thing - Wondering if I should go or not
Had another 2 hours of electrolysis. Got a LOT cleared off!
It also hurt worse than ever!!! Something psychologically making it feel worse when I've got my neck stretched out & getting a needle poked into it...
Today I found a "splendid" lip color that is perfect for me, but after one use the applicator broke!
Well off work for 3 days vacation time Thursday I have a 6 hour drive to my endocrinologist appointment there and back and Gas price just pumped 19 cent per freak-en liter. 100 liter tank is like $140 to fill Just my luck. Well could be worse I should be happy that I can go to my appointment and that I am donating money to the billionaires that own the oil and the government taxes as we all know they need the money more than we do................................ Sorry for the sarcasm
Quote from: natalie.ashlyne on April 10, 2018, 10:30:51 PM
Well off work for 3 days vacation time Thursday I have a 6 hour drive to my endocrinologist appointment there and back and Gas price just pumped 19 cent per freak-en liter. 100 liter tank is like $140 to fill Just my luck. Well could be worse I should be happy that I can go to my appointment and that I am donating money to the billionaires that own the oil and the government taxes as we all know they need the money more than we do................................ Sorry for the sarcasm
@ natalie.ashlyne: Don't be sorry, your sarcasm is understood and is shared by many.
Back now to the important stuff... wishing you a good visit with your doctor...
... obviously we will be looking for your update about the results.
Please drive safely there and back.
Hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: natalie.ashlyne on April 10, 2018, 10:30:51 PM
Well off work for 3 days vacation time Thursday I have a 6 hour drive to my endocrinologist appointment there and back and Gas price just pumped 19 cent per freak-en liter. 100 liter tank is like $140 to fill Just my luck. Well could be worse I should be happy that I can go to my appointment and that I am donating money to the billionaires that own the oil and the government taxes as we all know they need the money more than we do................................ Sorry for the sarcasm
Wow, thanks a lot Tiffany! I had to go find out the conversion between a litre and a gallon. 3.7 and then the CAN to US rate 7.9. Wow, that's still a lot per gallon/litre. When I moved from California to Texas I was blown away that gas was close to 2.00 to 2.50 USD less in Texas. But now in Nevada it's up a buck.
Have a safe trip!!!!!
Quote from: Cassi on April 11, 2018, 12:19:51 AM
Wow, thanks a lot Tiffany! I had to go find out the conversion between a litre and a gallon. 3.7 and then the CAN to US rate 7.9. Wow, that's still a lot per gallon/litre. When I moved from California to Texas I was blown away that gas was close to 2.00 to 2.50 USD less in Texas. But now in Nevada it's up a buck.
Have a safe trip!!!!!
Here in New Zealand we are almost $8.00 per gallon or $2.15 per liter. I suppose it's what you find the norm and then how it changes.
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Quote from: V M on April 09, 2018, 01:40:42 AM
My life is so bizzare sometimes
I have a friend who happens to be a girl but she's pretty busy with work and has a kid - She comes over now and then and I usually cook her some dinner and we'll watch TV and snuggle and kiss a bit but I don't really see things going much further than that - She's rather pretty and easy going, actually seems to like the fact that I have breasts and encourages me to dress and critiques my look
Another time she brought another girl with her and they wanted me to play guitar while they made out
On her last visit we took a shower together, we didn't have sex and I felt a bit awkward but it felt good just being together
I'm not sure what to think of it all but I've been invited to a "Girls Night" thing - Wondering if I should go or not
Why not go and at least enjoy time out with good company. Who knows where things may lead to.
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Quote from: SueNZ on April 12, 2018, 01:41:34 AM
Why not go and at least enjoy time out with good company. Who knows where things may lead to.
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If the invite is still on I probably will go, but at my age it took a few days to recover from last weekend's adventure at my place
This is awfully long and a little messed up but here it is. (I really don't expect anyone to read all of it. It just helps to express it.)
Back story: Ten years ago or so, when all of this was just forcing itself into my consciousness, I was still presenting male and in firm denial. I had an affair with a lesbian. Neither of us understood the attraction but we couldn't deny it. She asked me to tell Randi. I did, it nearly destroyed us but we got past it and Randi and I stayed together
Randi isn't the type to forgive or forget, but she seemed to let it go. Four years ago I admitted to myself that I'm trans and admitted it to her. She said that she would stay until my transition was completed.
Two years ago she said that she wanted a divorce but has done nothing about it. Ambiguity like this stresses me out unbareably. It's been a tough roller coaster two years.
Today Randi needed the car and had to drive me to a client. She was stressed about her errand, doesn't know the route to my client, and we had an argument. She almost blew a stop sign and threatened to put me out of the car. I told her to do so. She didn't because she said we can't afford for me to miss clients and lose income. I told her that there is no "we" as she had told me two years before. She replied that there had been no "we" since I cheated.
I'm heartsick over this but relieved that the ambiguity is over.
The spy who came in from the cold in the War Between the Sexes.
My Doctors appointment was cancelled but thankfully the called before I left for my drive there. so now spending the day with my tria
Life is not working out the way I want it to, and it is really bringing me down. At least I can say I am not homeless or dying from some disease so that is good I guess.
It is cold and rainy today so that is great! The house is dark from a lack of sun light, and I can hear the rain falling outside my window. I might actually remove my thick black window curtains for once. Best of all is that I actually have an appointment with my therapist which means I get to go out and enjoy the rain! Sigh, it is just so peaceful and quite...oh how I wish it could last forever. There is just something beautiful about a grey sky you know?
Yes, I like the rain.
I debated on making a new thread for this, but I'm just going to put it here for now.
My girlfriend and I are in a polyamorous relationship, but I feel like she's uncomfortable with it. Yesterday, we had a wonderful first date with a beautiful woman that seemed to go really well, but after she went home, my girlfriend broke down crying because she was worried I was going to leave her for the new girl. I don't know where this came from, because we've already established that the two of us are going to stick together regardless.
So our date made me extremely happy, but everything else about it has been awful. I know that the simple answer is to just stop seeing other people, but I can't do that. I'm terrified of the concept of monogamy and I don't think that will change.
I guess what it boils down to is I'm starting to second guess our entire relationship. We're great for each other, but I don't think that we're capable of being truly happy together. I'm really firm on my position and I think that the only way this can work is if she can open up to polyamory. We've been together for two and a half years. She moved in with me to escape her abusive, alcoholic mother. I can't force her to go back, but I'm just realizing that I'm not happy with her.
This post has really changed course since I started writing it. I'm just realizing stuff as I go. I would feel like the absolute worst partner in history, but the ideal solution for me would be exactly what my girlfriend is afraid of. Maybe she can see things about me that even I can't.
I just want to start over...
Endo appt. tomorrow, I always get nervous about it :-\ The endo and staff are alright except the nurse who draws blood always acts put out for some reason
What makes me nervous is missing my ride and getting stranded so far away from home and having to find a way back
I'm sure it's just past experience impeding upon modern day and I shouldn't be so nervous but I'd much rather either drive myself or go with a well trusted friend
Update on my previous post:
My girlfriend and I had a long talk and decided to have a completely open relationship for my sake. So that should hopefully be beneficial to my needs.
But on the flip side, the new girl from the other night has decided not to see either of us anymore because my girlfriend's discomfort made her uncomfortable as well. So... I'm kind of heartbroken. She was such a lovely person to talk to and it hurts to be cut off so suddenly.
When I looked in the mirror this morning I saw a pretty lady with no hint of a guy. Unfortunately, I slept through my alarm and woke up right when I should be punching in.
Stupid transport screwed up again and I had to miss my therapist appt. :P Oh well, I don't really enjoy my visits there anyway
I created this design in a a drawing program called Krita, and slapped it on to a shirt. The final version actually looks better but whatever. Anyways, I also bought leggings from KILLSTAR but I can't share the image due to copyright. The shirt looks cool right! My sister is jealous lol.
(https://abload.de/img/img-13109srx1.jpg) (http://abload.de/image.php?img=img-13109srx1.jpg)
What made me unhappy is that I just spent close to $100 on 2 pieces of clothing, which makes me an idiot. I feel pretty depressed and guilty about it, but like I don't really have any cloths. I still have money left over, but that was for my dropshipping business, and instead I blew half of it...ugh. Well, my mom said she would support me on it, so spending a bit of my money on myself seemed okay. I don't know.
Work was horrible today, between rude customers, excessive workload, and just outright nasty stuff. (I do junk removal. Sometimes that's just a sofa or something, but other times it's piles of moldy trash that have been sitting in a damp basement since the 1970s. This was one of those times.)
But, on the plus side, I get an extra $75 for the day because my partner and I made over $2000 in revenue for the company. That nearly doubles my hourly pay for today.
And... then again, it's pretty sad that he and I are only getting ~$150 each for the day when we earned that much. After expenses, we're still looking at $1800 or so. But that's capitalism for you, I guess.
Quote from: 4A-GZE on April 28, 2018, 01:31:27 PMI do junk removal.
Maybe I've been hanging out here too long... I saw "junk removal", and I thought of something else entirely! :D
Nice that you got a bonus. Sucks that it was nasty work.
Quote from: KathyLauren on April 28, 2018, 03:30:00 PM
Maybe I've been hanging out here too long... I saw "junk removal", and I thought of something else entirely! :D
Nice that you got a bonus. Sucks that it was nasty work.
Haha! That never even crossed my mind!
Got some good new women's tennis shoes I'm going to start wearing all the time. That's good. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, 10 and 1/2 go fast and that is my best size for shoes worn with potentially thicker socks like that. So I had to get 11s, meaning I have a little too much toe room. So yay for shoes. Boo for not being really the right size. (Though passable.)
(I fit a 10 on sockless shoes! Actually a 9 on left foot, but 10 on right if I don't want it to be cramped.)
Quote from: Roll on April 28, 2018, 11:02:55 PM
Got some good new women's tennis shoes I'm going to start wearing all the time. That's good. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, 10 and 1/2 go fast and that is my best size for shoes worn with potentially thicker socks like that. So I had to get 11s, meaning I have a little too much toe room. So yay for shoes. Boo for not being really the right size. (Though passable.)
(I fit a 10 on sockless shoes! Actually a 9 on left foot, but 10 on right if I don't want it to be cramped.)
@Roll Ellie, thanks for posting your update.... just wondering, were they OBVIOUS female shoes ???...
.... like pink or pink stripes with pink laces perhaps?
Hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on April 28, 2018, 11:16:21 PM
@Roll Ellie, thanks for posting your update.... just wondering, were they OBVIOUS female shoes ???...
.... like pink or pink stripes with pink laces perhaps?
Hugs,
Danielle
Oh yes they were! ;D One was a sort of peach-ish pink with either white or same pink-ish laces, other is solid white but in a distinctly feminine cut.
I think I'm more accepting now that I honestly don't know my style anymore. I went into a store and I saw some stuff, even picked out a few plain tops and pair of short shorts. But I thought about it (maybe a bit too much) and just didn't want the stuff anymore. I feel like I just need to go to more stores and really look at everything.
I don't really even know what I want anymore. Maybe when my body changes more on hrt it'll be easier.. let's hope
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Got three nice new tops yesterday. Love them!
Felt guilty about spending the money, but then again I had to put three favorite tops into storage for "someday" and they needed to be replaced.
The spy who came in from the cold in the War Between the Sexes.
Quote from: Roll on April 28, 2018, 11:02:55 PM
Got some good new women's tennis shoes I'm going to start wearing all the time. That's good. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, 10 and 1/2 go fast and that is my best size for shoes worn with potentially thicker socks like that. So I had to get 11s, meaning I have a little too much toe room. So yay for shoes. Boo for not being really the right size. (Though passable.)
(I fit a 10 on sockless shoes! Actually a 9 on left foot, but 10 on right if I don't want it to be cramped.)
I wear 10 1/2 without socks. I never find any in stores, and haven't found a lot of styles I like online (within my low budget). 11s are fine if they have laces or an ankle strap to help hold them on.
Quote from: Sarah_P on April 29, 2018, 11:48:14 AM
I wear 10 1/2 without socks. I never find any in stores, and haven't found a lot of styles I like online (within my low budget). 11s are fine if they have laces or an ankle strap to help hold them on.
I find it depends on the brand, but I wear 10 1/2or 11 usually. Payless seems to be my go to for actually finding shoes in that size.
Damn, are these women's sizes? I'm lucky if I can find a men's 11 1/2 that fits comfortably.
Quote from: 4A-GZE on April 29, 2018, 06:50:00 PM
Damn, are these women's sizes? I'm lucky if I can find a men's 11 1/2 that fits comfortably.
All my stuff comes from Trademe in NZ. It's all 2nd hand, so if it does not fit then out it goes.
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I went over to fix my uncle's computer, he has come around since I transitioned my aunt his sister talked to him, I found him staring at my chest than he asked are they real I replied they are to small to be fake so what do you think. Awkward
He was telling me about my father, I found out that my father works at one of my favorite restaurants so I will no longer be eating there anyone.I have not spoken to my father in almost 18 years now he does not even know I tranistioned I don't think.
I've been in a desperate scramble for button down or zip up tops that fit and are comfortable for upcoming transplants (need a few days worth to wear since can't pull stuff over head). I've had some limited success but for the most part everything I order online is way, way too small because Chinese sizing.
So I found an AMAZING shirt at TJ Maxx earlier. It's a Calvin Klein Button down, color "spiced berry". It's the PERFECT color for me and is amazingly soft. Unfortunately, they had it on the wrong size hanger and I didnt think to check the tag. Was trying to get an XL to wear as outerwear too and just be loose and comfortable, but it was a frickin' small. So unhappy. But... happy because I KNOW ITS OUT THERE. I just have to find it. If anyone has any ideas, let me know! :D
I got my levels tested today and my E was only at 47 pg/ml even though I was on a standard dose of oral estradiol, which made me unhappy but I started injections today which makes me happy because maybe the low levels were caused by my metabolism. I also started the SRS process by making appointments for a second psych referral letter, a social worker visit and blood tests (they check for hep and HIV, drug use and nicotine among other standard health stuff).
At today's doctor visit, a new nurse asked me "when was your last pap smear?".
I had to answer.
We will have a little get-together with our team this weekend and I like being with them very much, they are a great bunch of people. The problem is that I'm finding it very difficult emotionally to revert back to guy clothes and appearance and that ruins my mood. I almost considered canceling the event just to be myself the whole weekend but I won't.
Sunshine, day off, great turn out for HD Sportster meet, bike running great
Pain from leg ulcer meant I was unable to go on run & went home
Well this is my first birthday as Natalie I am very happy and sad just bringing up so many emotions. Feeling ugly fat stupid today annoyed with myself feeling like I don't look feminine at all
Spent yesterday and the day before moving out suddenly. We were evicted. On the plus side Randi didn't misgender me even once and always referred to me as "Dee" when talking to others.
The spy who came in from the cold in the War Between the Sexes.
Dee I hope you get sorted ASAP. Good luck
Quote from: natalie.ashlyne on May 27, 2018, 09:36:11 AM
Well this is my first birthday as Natalie I am very happy and sad just bringing up so many emotions. Feeling ugly fat stupid today annoyed with myself feeling like I don't look feminine at all
Happy Birthday Natalie!
For what it is worth, I think you look lovely. You are wonderfully feminine and I hope you find one thing that makes your birthday good for you.
One good thing was figuring out if I want to go to a concert by myself in October. I do! And once I get paid this week, I will be!
Bad thing? My anxiety was a bit overactive this morning and I spent most of the morning curled up in bed feeling panicky and sad and worried about a lot of things. It was a nice to have today off to try and turn those feeling off for a little while.
Quote from: SarahMarie1987 on May 27, 2018, 06:20:42 PM
Happy Birthday Natalie!
For what it is worth, I think you look lovely. You are wonderfully feminine and I hope you find one thing that makes your birthday good for you.
Thank you for your sweet words they did make my day as well :) as soon as I read them. I did have a better day than the way it started
Well, last night actually ;D I was looking at my gray hairs and it was driving me mad, MAD I tell you!!! LOL
So I road my bike to the store but they didn't have my usual hair color and most of the other brands had gone up in price :-\ But they did have another color that looked alright at a close out price
So I bought it and road home and did it up - To my surprise it came out really nice ;D YAY!!! No more gray!!! ... For awhile anyway
;D
Quote from: natalie.ashlyne on May 27, 2018, 11:08:30 PM
Thank you for your sweet words they did make my day as well :) as soon as I read them. I did have a better day than the way it started
You are very welcome!
The good stuff? I have more information about housing and disability assistance for me. Which is good. Kind of hoping it goes well enough to where I can move out by the end of this year. I also bought a ticket for a concert.
The bad stuff? Still dealing with anxiety over... well everything. It does feel hard some days to get out of bed and face the world when I am super anxious about everything. But I am trying to get better at dealing with it.
I passed in a women's sauna, even speaking.
I came in wearing a bikini and quickly noticed that everyone was nude except one woman wearing bottoms. That made me feel out of place so I took my top off.
I also noticed that I'm not turned on by nude women in non-sexual situations. Considering adding demisexual to myself definition even though I need to take care of my needs nearly as much as I did in my 20's. On the whole just kind of a "huh?" experience.
The spy who came in from the cold in the War Between the Sexes.
A few days ago I found a note in my mailbox from an admirer telling me that I look nice and sexy. (The good?)
Now I'm somewhat flattered but my first thought was that I'm not nice. At least I don't want to be nice. Being nice didn't do me any good in the past. Sexy? Do you have eyes? (The Bad)
Second thought, maybe it's a joke someone is playing on me... (The ugly)
Ask I was leaving a convenience store a voice said "hello, beautiful".
He had to be at least 80. I think he had cataracts too!
[emoji3]
The spy who came in from the cold in the War Between the Sexes.
On a friend's FB page, a shared political cartoon that made me cry with despair for its ominous accuracy. And the very next post on the same friend's page, an inspiring, poetic piece she had written about the beauty of the night and of life, that made me cry for its beauty.
Being able to feel emotions: priceless!
My wife and I are going to meet that friend for the first time next week.
unhappy:
twitter friend who is a transgirl living in a homophobic islamic country got outed, committed suicide via ingestion of chemicals, underwent surgery, vital organs damages, she made it but in very critical condition
happy:
celebrated father's day with family and brother-in-law (younger sister's husband) was there and i have a big crush on him. came out to him (except the crush part >_<) and he was the sweetest, most understanding person there is :D
Happy, happy, happy! ;D
After years of trying to find doctors and therapists in my small town, I'm finally making progress.
I had my first therapy session today and the Dr. said I'm clearly and positively transgender and that she will have a letter written for me very soon.
I also found an endocrinologist in my town that has experience with mtf hrt and so will be setting up an intake appoint within the week!
To have so much happening so quickly after so long feeling like I was against a brick wall has me elated beyond belief.
So, I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years. It's been about a month and a half though, and I've started looking to date again. Fired up OKCupid and.... now I have two beautiful women interested in me. That's both great and terrible, because, on the one hand, I'm not really one that this ever happens to; I've been in three relationships, two of which only lasted a couple months. I've never had more than one person into me at the same time. So this is a real boost of confidence.
But then there's the bad side of it: I have to choose. One is really sweet, mentally stable, (I have depression and anxiety; it's hard to date someone else with the same sort of disorders) and going to school to become a doctor. She's way out of my league.
The other has no job, no car, and matching mental disorders. That doesn't mix well with me. But we have SO MUCH in common. Way more than the other.
I could be shallow and just pick the most attractive one, but... they're both gorgeous. So even that doesn't work.
I think I'm set on the future doctor, though. She seems to be the better fit long-term, but still.
I had just put a pot of coffee on to brew and was going to make some toast when the wall outlet with built in surge protector in my kitchen went "Pop" - Okay no problem, but then it wouldn't reset :-\ So I take the toaster into the bathroom to make toast and was about to take the coffee maker in there as well, not sure what to do about the microwave
So after all this half awake drama I give it another go and it resets just fine ??? LOL
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpreview.turbosquid.com%2FPreview%2F2014%2F07%2F09__21_25_32%2FGFCIWallOutletSigImage.jpgcb528d91-2c4d-4c45-912c-1a5945c0d9ccOriginal.jpg&hash=d8b8a4b80dd2cdc671fb70abd4d417b484c2f188)
Quote from: V M on July 15, 2018, 04:50:48 PM
I had just put a pot of coffee on to brew and was going to make some toast when the wall outlet with built in surge protector in my kitchen went "Pop"
That isn't a surge protector. It's a Ground Fault Interrupter (GFI) and it's designed to cut the power if there is a risk of electrocution. They can be a little oversensitive and trip without reason but if a device regularly trips it, you might have a defective device. I once had a very old radio that sometimes leaked power to the case and if it had been connected to a GFI, it would have tripped it. Any new build and remodeling normally requires they be installed around plumbing for safety reasons.
Quote from: Dena on July 15, 2018, 05:33:22 PM
That isn't a surge protector. It's a Ground Fault Interrupter (GFI) and it's designed to cut the power if there is a risk of electrocution. They can be a little oversensitive and trip without reason but if a device regularly trips it, you might have a defective device. I once had a very old radio that sometimes leaked power to the case and if it had been connected to a GFI, it would have tripped it. Any new build and remodeling normally requires they be installed around plumbing for safety reasons.
Mmmm, learn something new everyday - Probably the oldest thing there is the toaster, might be time for a new one
Got me a new pair of jeans.
Four year ago I had 34/34 now it's 30/34. That made me really happy but where are the damn pockets? [emoji6]
after weeks of feeling good I've been a bit down. My wife and I tracked it down. I had guesstimated 4 weeks of up, not quite. While working out a time table we found that my mood swings down the first week of each month. It's happened 4 times in 4 months counting this one.
¿happy? ..... I get monthly cyclic mood swings
¿unhappy? .. I get monthly cyclic mood swings
at least I know .....
Quote from: Faith on September 04, 2018, 10:34:45 AM
after weeks of feeling good I've been a bit down. My wife and I tracked it down. I had guesstimated 4 weeks of up, not quite. While working out a time table we found that my mood swings down the first week of each month. It's happened 4 times in 4 months counting this one.
¿happy? ..... I get monthly cyclic mood swings
¿unhappy? .. I get monthly cyclic mood swings
at least I know .....
@Faith Dear Faith:Well, like you said, at least you know. Now you and your wife can be prepared for this reoccurring event.
This kind of thing has been reported many times, so you are not alone.
I have never experienced that kind of thing, I will consider myself very fortunate.
By the way.... thank you for returning and continuing to post on your thread and the various threads around the forums. I am always eager to read what you have to say as you share your thoughts with all of your fans.... and do know that your forums friends are some of your biggest fans in your transition journey.
Hugs and well wishes as always,
Danielle
Quote from: Faith on September 04, 2018, 10:34:45 AM
after weeks of feeling good I've been a bit down. My wife and I tracked it down. I had guesstimated 4 weeks of up, not quite. While working out a time table we found that my mood swings down the first week of each month. It's happened 4 times in 4 months counting this one.
¿happy? ..... I get monthly cyclic mood swings
¿unhappy? .. I get monthly cyclic mood swings
at least I know .....
This is definitely a thing. I seemed to experience this for at least the first eight months of HRT. It seems to be less of an issue now that the causes of a lot of the former anxiety have been addressed, so there are fewer things to freak out over. I didn't notice it at the end of last month, which is when it used to happen. Things are pretty good right now. If it holds true for everyone, it'll get better.
Stephanie
Out shopping & I told a guy he shouldn't be parking his car in the motorcycle bay as I had a hard job putting my bike in. He was with his kid, told me not his f****** problem then told his kid it's OK to hate bikers & T******. Had alaugh when I saw a traffic warden writing him out a ticket though!
Michele has asked me tonight how I would like to be dressed when I die, as Sue or Peter. She said she already has some thoughts, nails done, undergarments etc. Happy because she cares enough to wonder [emoji106]. Unhappy as I am only 51 and no health issues [emoji22]. Might start cooking my own meals. 🤪
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Quote from: SueNZ on September 18, 2018, 04:14:40 AM
Michele has asked me tonight how I would like to be dressed when I die, as Sue or Peter. She said she already has some thoughts, nails done, undergarments etc. Happy because she cares enough to wonder [emoji106]. Unhappy as I am only 51 and no health issues [emoji22]. Might start cooking my own meals. 🤪
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@SueNZ LOL Sue - I'd be a bit worried if I were you...laughed when I read this!!
Getting 3 dresses from my wife for my birthday this weekend!!
Sonja.
Unhappy: I snuck doughnuts to work to eat.
happy: I'm eating the doughnuts
That's all I got. It sucks being in a good mood. :D
Happy as I got a skirt in sale and a scarf/wrap, unhappy as cant find jacket or top to go with the dress for Sat
I just got ten pounds of M&Ms for free. The bad thing is they have peanuts in 'em. I'll still enjoy them, but I'd rather have 10lbs of straight chocolate.
Quote from: 4A-GZE on September 19, 2018, 10:41:37 AM
I just got ten pounds of M&Ms for free. The bad thing is they have peanuts in 'em. I'll still enjoy them, but I'd rather have 10lbs of straight chocolate.
@4A-GZE What??? 10 POUNDS??? That would make me happy too.
Where do I sign up?
Danielle
Quote from: Sonja on September 18, 2018, 05:05:29 AM
- - - - - - -
Getting 3 dresses from my wife for my birthday this weekend!!
Sonja.
@Sonja Dear Sonja: That is wonderful news...
3 new dresses, a gift from you wife.... WOWzers!!!
Hugs,
Danielle
The realization that lasering my what use to be a beard is useless.
Minor emergency surgery to remove a fragment that had been missed years ago - Glad to get it done and over with though
Butt now it hurts to sit down LOL
My wife seems to finally be coming around to the acceptance phase... Which also means we are probably going to separate. But it also means I may get my best friend back too.
Bitter sweet to be sure. <3
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on September 19, 2018, 10:58:19 AM
@4A-GZE
What??? 10 POUNDS??? That would make me happy too.
Where do I sign up?
Danielle
One of the perks of having a job where I regularly drive to the dump. I got there at the same time as a Mars truck that was dumping excess candy for some reason, but it was all fine to eat and he gave me a few boxes.
Shared some pictures with my sister-in-law. She said that she loved them.
She side-stepped the masculine/feminine question and what my brother thought of them. Leads me to believe that she didn't want to say anything bad so said nothing at all ... which is still bad.
Quote from: Faith on September 24, 2018, 08:14:34 AM
Shared some pictures with my sister-in-law. She said that she loved them.
She side-stepped the masculine/feminine question and what my brother thought of them. Leads me to believe that she didn't want to say anything bad so said nothing at all ... which is still bad.
It's never a good idea to leap off Conclusion Bridge. ;)
Hugs, Devlyn
I couldn't open a jar of olives, I had to use a cheater
Quote from: Faith on October 03, 2018, 12:59:50 PM
I couldn't open a jar of olives, I had to use a cheater
@Faith Dear Faith: I hear you loud and clear.
I have been at the point of even with various "cheaters" that there are some jars....
especially my coveted pickle jars
(I must have pickles)... that I still can not open them.
I then just bring them to work and go over to my next door coffee shop and ask one of the male employees or perhaps an aquaitnce there like a husky logger or trucker having a coffee to help me get the lid open, then I can take the jar back home. This has happened way too frequently.
As a side benefit, this is a great way to meet new people!! ;)
Hugs,
Danielle
no pickles for me, thank you .. olives!! :D
I can just picture my co-workers if I brought in a jar to have them open. Yeah, not happening.
I'll ask my son to open it, I just have to plan ahead :)
Quote from: Faith on October 03, 2018, 01:12:08 PM
no pickles for me, thank you .. olives!! :D
I can just picture my co-workers if I brought in a jar to have them open. Yeah, not happening.
I'll ask my son to open it, I just have to plan ahead :)
@Faith I can get most of my green olive jars open, they are usually smaller than the big pickle jars.
One of my favorite "cheaters" is my Vice Grip with the integral chain
that I can get from my tool chest out in my garage.
(https://i.imgur.com/pwubmX8.jpg)
Also, I have a great big pair of Channel Locks that works on the smaller jars.
But I am not always successful with those devices plus if one is not careful the jar can get broken using them.
Well, I have no family in this state and no neighbors anywhere nearby,
relocating and rural living does have a few disadvantages.
A girl has gotta do what a girl has gotta do.
The coffee shop is my go-to place for more than just getting jars open ;) :o >:-)
Danielle
QuoteThe coffee shop is my go-to place for more than just getting jars open
:o :o :o
I read your thread, even though I don't say much. You don't say much either and you use a lot of words to do it, little miss secret keeper. :eusa_silenced:
Quote from: Faith on October 03, 2018, 12:59:50 PM
I couldn't open a jar of olives, I had to use a cheater
Yes, I know this one! It took a lot more effort yesterday to twist in the settings on a torque wrench. I was shocked!
Stephanie
Quote from: Steph2.0 on October 03, 2018, 02:25:04 PM
Yes, I know this one! It took a lot more effort yesterday to twist in the settings on a torque wrench. I was shocked!
Stephanie
That's what I happened when I tried to open it .. I torqued and wrenched my back .. OHH the PAIN, the AAAAAGONEEEEEEYYYYY :D
ok, not really. I keep trying but Steph grabbed all the good comments and I'm stuck scraping the bottom for left-overs ...
Quote from member Alaskan Danielle:Quote
The coffee shop is my go-to place for more than just getting jars open
Quote from: Faith on October 03, 2018, 01:30:18 PM
:o :o :o
I read your thread, even though I don't say much. You don't say much either and you use a lot of words to do it, little miss secret keeper.
@FaithDear Faith.... ahhhh you caught the humor in my sentence.... yes indeed, I get much more benefit from the next door coffee shop than just coffee and getting my jar lids opened.... , that is where I have met many of my best friends in town and also my suitors!! [emoji173]
It was very fortuitous for me to locate my office where it is, it couldn't be a better location for a lot of reasons.
Thanks for your post.... funny it was, but also quite true!!! And as you surmised I don't tell all of my secrets.
Hugs,
Danielle
Happy: getting cat called...
Unhappy: getting cat called...
This is one of these double edged things... on one hand very affirming on the other hand just plain creepy.
Oh - and of course twice. On my way to daycare and on my way back. 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
The longer I am full time the less affirmative such behavior is and the more creepy it becomes.
Quote from: sarah1972 on October 03, 2018, 10:09:33 PM
Happy: getting cat called...
Unhappy: getting cat called...
This is one of these double edged things... on one hand very affirming on the other hand just plain creepy.
Oh - and of course twice. On my way to daycare and on my way back. 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
The longer I am full time the less affirmative such behavior is and the more creepy it becomes.
@sarah1972 Dear Sarah: I completely agree with you .... it is definitely "one of those a double edged things"
I have gotten cat-called by both men and women here.... if it is done correctly and in good taste it is indeed very affirming and flattering.
Thanks for posting your thoughts....
Hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: sarah1972 on October 03, 2018, 10:09:33 PM
Happy: getting cat called...
Unhappy: getting cat called...
<snip>
the only time I get cat called is when I step on his tail :(
@SueNZ
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUE!! Hope you're having a great day! :icon_birthday:
Thinking of you on this Gorgeous sunny day! (I'm assuming its blue sky- it is in Auckland)
Sonja.
Quote from: Sonja on October 04, 2018, 10:37:25 PM
@SueNZ
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUE!! Hope you're having a great day! :icon_birthday:
Thinking of you on this Gorgeous sunny day! (I'm assuming its blue sky- it is in Auckland)
Sonja.
@Sonja Dear Sonja:Your "mentions" do not seem to be working on your post.... so I will take care of it for you.
Hugs,
Danielle @SueNZ
Quote from: Sonja on October 04, 2018, 10:37:25 PM
@SueNZ
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUE!! Hope you're having a great day! :icon_birthday:
Thinking of you on this Gorgeous sunny day! (I'm assuming its blue sky- it is in Auckland)
Sonja.
Thank you Sonja,
I really appreciate your thoughts.
It has been an awesome day weather wise. Going to have a meal out tonight and a few wines.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote from: SueNZ on October 04, 2018, 11:24:04 PM
Thank you Sonja,
I really appreciate your thoughts.
It has been an awesome day weather wise. Going to have a meal out tonight and a few wines.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
@SueNZ Please allow me to also wish you a very
Happy Birthday :icon_birthday:....
I trust that your birthday dinner out and other celebration will make it a happy and special day.
Best Wishes and a Birthday Hug,
Danielle
I always think it's double edged when on Tinder when you both swipe right, you exchange a couple of messages and then suddenly they unmatch which is the point at which you realise they actually read your profile and realised you're trans.
On the one hand it's like "Yey, I'm clearly not only passing but I must be hot enough as a female for people to swipe right for me" whilst simultaneously saying to yourself "oh my god, I'm going to die alone, where's that undateables application form"
Em x
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on October 04, 2018, 11:31:35 PM
@SueNZ
Please allow me to also wish you a very Happy Birthday :icon_birthday:....
I trust that your birthday dinner out and other celebration will make it a happy and special day.
Best Wishes and a Birthday Hug,
Danielle
Thank you Danielle,
It was a great night and my eldest son made sure everyone knew. I try to fly behind the radar and he knows how to catch me out.
Yes it's a birthday, the main thing it's another day waking up breathing.
[emoji106][emoji3]
Cheers
Sue
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote from: sarah1972 on October 03, 2018, 10:09:33 PM
Happy: getting cat called...
Unhappy: getting cat called...
This is one of these double edged things... on one hand very affirming on the other hand just plain creepy.
Oh - and of course twice. On my way to daycare and on my way back. [emoji2368][emoji2368][emoji2368]
The longer I am full time the less affirmative such behavior is and the more creepy it becomes.
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on October 03, 2018, 11:06:50 PM
@sarah1972
Dear Sarah:
I completely agree with you .... it is definitely "one of those a double edged things"
I have gotten cat-called by both men and women here.... if it is done correctly and in good taste it is indeed very affirming and flattering.
Thanks for posting your thoughts....
Hugs,
Danielle
Isn't it just called a compliment if it's done tastefully? Much rather have that but think I could maybe handle a catcall once.
My question about catcalling is does it ever work? You don't hear any how we met stories where mom says "I was walking past a construction site and your dad yelled 'nice ass' at me and I just couldn't resist"
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
Don't know if it ever works. I also hebe never experienced a tasteful catcall.
Even worse are the men whose second question is: "are you married ". And the third usually "are you happily married".
I really would want to be charmed, with cute gestures and some fantasy. Staring at my barely boobs or my behind or commenting on them is just not cutting it. At least offer to buy me a drink [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Quote from: TonyaW on October 05, 2018, 07:38:01 AM
Isn't it just called a compliment if it's done tastefully? Much rather have that but think I could maybe handle a catcall once.
My question about catcalling is does it ever work? You don't hear any how we met stories where mom says "I was walking past a construction site and your dad yelled 'nice ass' at me and I just couldn't resist"
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
Quote from: sarah1972 on October 05, 2018, 08:29:26 AM
Don't know if it ever works. I also hebe never experienced a tasteful catcall.
Even worse are the men whose second question is: "are you married ". And the third usually "are you happily married".
I really would want to be charmed, with cute gestures and some fantasy. Staring at my barely boobs or my behind or commenting on them is just not cutting it. At least offer to buy me a drink [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
@sarah1972 Dear Sarah:
Perhaps I am defining a
cat-call differently than some others are defining it.... I don't mean whistling loudly and calling out with silly and perhaps offensive words..... that is a
cat-call but not one that I want.
I have walked into my next door coffee shop at times, particularly on my fair weather office days that I wear a nice dress and high heels and I will get nicely worded and fairly discrete compliments from both guys and gals. Some even get a little creative and carried away but are still tasteful.... A smart girl always accepts a compliment or a sincere and respectable
cat-call if you will. Sometimes the rough and tumble loggers and outdoors-men get a carried away or even 'quite crude but a smart girl will just keep walking and ignore them, they are just demonstrating to all that hear them and see them that they are idiots.
Danielle
There is no such thing as a tasteful catcall.
Quote from: TonyaW on October 05, 2018, 07:38:01 AM
Isn't it just called a compliment if it's done tastefully? Much rather have that but think I could maybe handle a catcall once.
My question about catcalling is does it ever work? You don't hear any how we met stories where mom says "I was walking past a construction site and your dad yelled 'nice ass' at me and I just couldn't resist"
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
Sent from my LM-X410(FG) using Tapatalk
I get wolfwistles and catcalls now and then, doesn't really bother me - But then I don't really care enough to get all up about the highschool level behaviors of others - Got too many more important issues on my mind so I tend to just ignore stuff like that anymore
I just smile and go on my way
I had a friend stop by and visit me for my birthday ;D Meanwhile for my birthday my BA sister went to my nephew's place for a pizza party that I wasn't invited to and apparently no-one else could give a >-bleeped-< about me either
Now both of my middle fingers itch for some reason
Quote from: V M on October 09, 2018, 12:13:09 AM
I had a friend stop by and visit me for my birthday ;D Meanwhile for my birthday my BA sister went to my nephew's place for a pizza party that I wasn't invited to and apparently no-one else could give a >-bleeped-< about me either
Now both of my middle fingers itch for some reason
@V MOh my, oh my,... did I miss your birthday a couple days ago on Saturday ???
Please forgive me a million times over.
Allow me now to wish you a
HAPPY BIRTHDAY :icon_birthday:
Hugs and hugs.....
and I sincerely hope that your middle fingers don't itch any longer.Danielle
:) I've lost so much weight that I have to buy new clothes.
:( I'm still at least nine months from going full time, so I have to buy new male clothes.
Quote from: sarahc on October 09, 2018, 01:30:13 PM
:) I've lost so much weight that I have to buy new clothes.
:( I'm still at least nine months from going full time, so I have to buy new male clothes.
@sarahc Dear Sarah:Good for you about losing significant weight... now the hard job is to keep it off.
Please allow me to give you a history lesson that had helped me regarding this.
Back when the Spanish explorer Hernan Cortez came to the new world (in Mexico) with about 500 men and 11 ships in 1519, setting his sights on overthrowing the Aztec ruler Montezuma II. To motivate his men that did not share his vision of conquest and gold he emptied his many ships and burnt them... giving his men a crystal clear message that there was no returning. To sum it up, get rid of your old bigger clothes that now do not fit properly...
...you definitely do not want to go back.
Have a continuing exciting ride in your HRT journey, I will be eagerly looking for your update postings.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Trust me, the ships have been burnt!
I've really changed my eating lifestyle over the last three months and for the first time in my life it feels sustainable. I'm under 200 pounds for the first time in 15 years and I'm enjoying my new habits: smaller portions, much healthier (much more fruits and veggies, much less protein). I'm very confident that I can continue losing 4-6 pounds a month over the coming months.
Quote from: V M on October 09, 2018, 12:13:09 AM
I had a friend stop by and visit me for my birthday ;D Meanwhile for my birthday my BA sister went to my nephew's place for a pizza party that I wasn't invited to and apparently no-one else could give a >-bleeped-< about me either
Now both of my middle fingers itch for some reason
Virginia,
I am so sorry they neglected you and I am happy that your friend stopped by.
I do wish you a very happy birthday! :)
Chrissy
Quote from: sarahc on October 09, 2018, 01:59:52 PM
Trust me, the ships have been burnt!
I've really changed my eating lifestyle over the last three months and for the first time in my life it feels sustainable. I'm under 200 pounds for the first time in 15 years and I'm enjoying my new habits: smaller portions, much healthier (much more fruits and veggies, much less protein). I'm very confident that I can continue losing 4-6 pounds a month over the coming months.
@sarahc Dear Sarah:
This is good news... burning the ships is the right move.
Congratulations for your weight loss and are at a 15 year low for your weight now.
I am trusting that you continue on toward your goals and will be eagerly following your progress.
Hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: sarahc on October 09, 2018, 01:59:52 PM
Trust me, the ships have been burnt!
I've really changed my eating lifestyle over the last three months and for the first time in my life it feels sustainable. I'm under 200 pounds for the first time in 15 years and I'm enjoying my new habits: smaller portions, much healthier (much more fruits and veggies, much less protein). I'm very confident that I can continue losing 4-6 pounds a month over the coming months.
Dear Sarah,
Congratulations on all of your progress Sarah!
That is terrific!
Chrissy
Feeling very mixed up about going back to the gender services in leeds. The doctor I saw there really got inside my head about how Im autistic as an explanation for my gender identity (even though Ive already been tested and thats not the case) and that even if I did go back for a second opinion, nobody would disagree with him. He was rude and caused me a lot of upset.
I still have my second opinion appointment in two weeks time, but Im just so nervous that I'll go back and be treated like crap. I can't decide if i just give up with them and go private in the future, or do I bide my time, go for the second opinion and try my best to trust I will be treated with respect?
It's very difficult to tell. I keep looking at reviews of the center, and the doctor who I am seeing soon is constantly recommended as helpful and kind, but there's reviews every now and again that my gut instinct tells me was the guy I saw: autism or something else is brought up, patient feels humiliated and denied access to the care pathway.
The letter I got from the first person I saw actually has 'quotes' in it that do not match the words I used, or are phrased in a way to imply something other than my initial meaning. He even expresses my 'female identity' as 'a means of being noticed within their family unit' which I think is incomprehensible and almost feels like he's saying Im attention seeking
Hi Jay, tough read and I don't have real answers. Two things come to mind, you're too sensitive or he's an arse.
If we believe in who we are and where we are headed,who cares about their opinions. Find someone new if possible or challenge him to see where he actually stands.
You are tougher than you think so dig deep beat those demons.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
What Made You Both Happy and Unhappy at the Same Time Today?
Uneducated loudmouths.
Quote from: Devlyn on October 11, 2018, 10:26:57 AM
What Made You Both Happy and Unhappy at the Same Time Today?
Uneducated loudmouths.
@Devlyn Dear Devlyn:
I hear you, these kinds of things can be very frustrating....
....but we can look at this 2 ways.... first, our, or at least my instinct is to get in their face and tell them off and tell them that they are full of crap and don't know what they are talking about.....
... or ...we can try to bring calm to the discussion and kindly and respectfully point out differences in opinions and debate and discuss real facts. By being as kind and amicable as we can be (and that can be difficult with some people) we just might be able to bring them around to seeing things more realistically based on a respectful and friendly discussion of facts versus fiction and made up propaganda.
It is definitely worth a try and in some cases the reward and bonus is that we might even make a new friend in the process...
and if not, at least we tried... nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Just sayin....
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on October 11, 2018, 12:29:36 PM
@Devlyn
Dear Devlyn:
I hear you, these kinds of things can be very frustrating....
....but we can look at this 2 ways.... first, our, or at least my instinct is to get in their face and tell them off and tell them that they are full of crap and don't know what they are talking about.....
... or ...
we can try to bring calm to the discussion and kindly and respectfully point out differences in opinions and debate and discuss real facts. By being as kind and amicable as we can be (and that can be difficult with some people) we just might be able to bring them around to seeing things more realistically based on a respectful and friendly discussion of facts versus fiction and made up propaganda.
It is definitely worth a try and in some cases we might even make a new friend in the process...
and if not, at least we tried... nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Just sayin....
Danielle
I just focus on the happiness they cause. Nothing better than watching some righteous indignation and wing flapping. See what I did there? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Quote from: SueNZ on October 11, 2018, 04:10:41 AM
Hi Jay, tough read and I don't have real answers. Two things come to mind, you're too sensitive or he's an arse.
If we believe in who we are and where we are headed,who cares about their opinions. Find someone new if possible or challenge him to see where he actually stands.
You are tougher than you think so dig deep beat those demons.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I'm more likely to believe he is indeed, an arse.
I got call from my GP about it as they have the letter, and given what they know about my situation and what Ive told them, they are concerned by what I have brought to their attention. They want to talk to me next week, but since the letter has no diagnosis in it, it wont impact my records. This is a massive relief. I feel like someone is in my corner at the very least. My GP has more control over this and the doctor I saw, and he knows about the complaints I made.
I wanted to make sure there was nothing that doctor could do to give me a hard time or put something in my records which will have a knock on impact on me in the future.
Started bottom hair removal using laser...
OUCH it hurts!!! Can't sit right now [emoji23][emoji23]
Ah yes, one of the most exciting experiences imaginable. ;D
At the store today, a young kid backed into my car. :( It was only a paint scratch. :) Exchanging info, the driver's older sister was pretty lippy. :( She got onto the phone to their mother (I think she bought the car for the kid) and called us "two old people". :( But then she referred to us as two women. :D :D :D
I wasn't dressed particularly femme, since we had just come from a work bee at the theatre: jeans, grubby women's T-shirt, jean jacket.
I had a great time fooling around in my apartment in a dress that looks surprisingly good on me and it made me feel confident, pretty and even bubbly, which is very rare for me. With the great music that was playing, it was almost magical.
That also almost made me cry because I felt that this is me and it's so far away from how I feel on a "normal" day and that should be my normal mood and then I also realized I spent way too much time fooling around instead of finishing my work.
Quote from: KathyLauren on October 14, 2018, 02:41:18 PM
At the store today, a young kid backed into my car. :( It was only a paint scratch. :) Exchanging info, the driver's older sister was pretty lippy. :( She got onto the phone to their mother (I think she bought the car for the kid) and called us "two old people". :( But then she referred to us as two women. :D :D :D
I wasn't dressed particularly femme, since we had just come from a work bee at the theatre: jeans, grubby women's T-shirt, jean jacket.
@KathyLauren Dear Kathy:
Aside from the bad news about your car being backed into and also the lippy older sister... the really good news and very affirming news is that you and your wife were referred to as TWO WOMEN .... :)
... but nevertheless "two old people" :o
Take the good with the bad.... the Good wins !!!!!
Thanks for this good report.
Hugs,
Danielle
I spent this evening with my wife shopping for Halloween costume bits and pieces. This is the first year of my adult life that I am not only dressing up but want to dress up and participate. I am very excited this year. We have 2 events plus the actual day for dress-up .. wooo.
back on track ...
We were shopping and took a slight detour through the shoe department, right past a full-length mirror. I stumbled a couple steps and had to stop and shut my eyes. This time that 'corner-of-the-ear' reflection was not complimentary in any way, shape, or from. I still had my eyes shut when Lori came back into the isle to check on me. I almost lost it.
We did finish our Halloween shopping on a high note :)
The mirror image still bothers me :(
I slept for a whole 10 hours last night, while I feel part of the day is lost, I also feel great knowing I rested well.
Quote from: jaybutterfly on October 19, 2018, 09:07:48 AM
I slept for a whole 10 hours last night, while I feel part of the day is lost, I also feel great knowing I rested well.
Sometimes we simply need our rest, and getting that rest can make our time awake better too!
Chrissy
Well I am happy I bought a newer car and sad that I have to part with my old car I loved my 2002 chrysler Intrepid but It is starting to die and I feel like I am losing something I never thought I would have an emotional attachment to a car but this is my new car I pick up tuesday not sure if it is a girly car though but it sounds awesome
(https://i.imgur.com/3v3dRdq.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/CBcCnyH.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/Vpex2Te.jpg)
Quote from: natalie.ashlyne on October 21, 2018, 11:52:15 PM
Well I am happy I bought a newer car and sad that I have to part with my old car I loved my 2002 chrysler Intrepid but It is starting to die and I feel like I am losing something I never thought I would have an emotional attachment to a car but this is my new car I pick up tuesday not sure if it is a girly car though but it sounds awesome
(https://i.imgur.com/3v3dRdq.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/CBcCnyH.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/Vpex2Te.jpg)
I like your new car.
Chrissy
Quote from: natalie.ashlyne on October 21, 2018, 11:52:15 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/CBcCnyH.jpg)
Aw congrats again!! It's a beautiful car
So I'm happy to be able to present full time, but I feel very insecure. Not really about my looks, but my authenticity. I don't feel like I'm being fake, but when measured up next to other women, I lack a lot of life experience.
I feel like I have a teenager's emotions, but I don't have a class of my peers to see how I manage with. My family is in shock, I'm not really meeting many people in my day to day yet.
My fear is people disapproving of me being trans, being upfront about it and and treating me badly. I think I said before that I don't mind if others know I'm trans, but in reality, I'd be devastated if I'm singled out for it...
Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk
Got my flu shot today
I am happy because changing my diet is easy to do, but the I am not very happy with the work involved or the soda sacrifice.
Quote from: gingerViktorKay on November 02, 2018, 03:12:41 AM
I am happy because changing my diet is easy to do, but the I am not very happy with the work involved or the soda sacrifice.
Alas, sugary drinks...we hardly knew ye! :laugh:
Quote from: Devlyn on November 02, 2018, 03:24:45 AM
Alas, sugary drinks...we hardly knew ye! :laugh:
I will miss Johnny :)
Downside, I had an annoying marketing call for insurance asking for my old name
Upside, they said "Oh, we were hoping to speak to your husband Mrs F"
Upside, my voice clearly isn't doing too bad as I hadn't given any indication of my name, or that I was (or wasnt) the person they were hoping to speak to
Downside, they just wouldn't get off the phone and I'm not good at just hanging up on someone
Well, today was my cheat day which made me really happy. Chicken fajitas and a pint of Ben and Jerry's :). Also made me unhappy that I'm setting myself back a bit on my weight loss but, I feel its nessesary to have those days. Gives me something to look forward to throughout the diet change.
Thank you @ChrissyRyan @Allison S, I am starting to really like the car more and more
Shopping yesterday, just another girl looking at clothes till I spoke to my BFF (she was trying clothes on in changing room so had to speak up a bit) and a lady look up startled
Quote from: davina61 on November 16, 2018, 04:55:13 AM
Shopping yesterday, just another girl looking at clothes till I spoke to my BFF (she was trying clothes on in changing room so had to speak up a bit) and a lady look up startled
Oh my, I am sorry that happened. I have been working every day on my voice and I mess up badly many times. I can relate.
As an example, I was placing a drive through order and when it was my time to pay, the cashier looked confused at me and said, "I thought a guy made that order, I guess I had better drink another cup of coffee!" I simply smiled back as I handed him my gift card, but I did say, "Thank You" in an okay way.
Chrissy
Monday night: Bicycle axle broke on the way to the grocery :icon_anger: Luckily one of the clerks I'm friends with gave me a lift home :icon_rockon:
Tuesday afternoon: Another friend took me to drop my bike at a good bike shop for repair :eusa_pray:
Wednesday (This evening): Said bike shop rang up to say my bike was ready to be picked up :icon_joy:
Will probably go tomorrow afternoon ;D
Quote from: V M on January 16, 2019, 08:24:52 PM
Monday night: Bicycle axle broke on the way to the grocery :icon_anger: Luckily one of the clerks I'm friends with gave me a lift home :icon_rockon:
Tuesday afternoon: Another friend took me to drop my bike at a good bike shop for repair :eusa_pray:
Wednesday (This evening): Said bike shop rang up to say my bike was ready to be picked up :icon_joy:
Will probably go tomorrow afternoon ;D
@V MI would consider all that you mentioned in your comment is indeed "happy good news"
The happy good news certainly outnumbers the unhappy bad news....
Thank you for sharing and posting... :)
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
I just got offered the opportunity to do my doctoral project with a food screening spectrometer. It would involve coming up with ways to screen things like honey, dairy, fruit juice, wine, etc... It would be a lot of work (like all doctoral projects) but I would have fun doing it. It's a bit of development work with a healthy dose of chemistry detective work.
The bad part is the "honey" most of us buy as pure honey is usually anything but pure. After going over some data it was frightening and really a bit depressing. It's the sort of thing that people have gone to jail over in the past and until recently there was no way to catch them.
So, interesting work involving thumbing my nose as the corrupt, YAY!
But realizing just how horrifically corrupt these producers are is troubling.
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on February 05, 2019, 11:40:21 AM
I just got offered the opportunity to do my doctoral project with a food screening spectrometer. It would involve coming up with ways to screen things like honey, dairy, fruit juice, wine, etc... It would be a lot of work (like all doctoral projects) but I would have fun doing it. It's a bit of development work with a healthy dose of chemistry detective work.
The bad part is the "honey" most of us buy as pure honey is usually anything but pure. After going over some data it was frightening and really a bit depressing. It's the sort of thing that people have gone to jail over in the past and until recently there was no way to catch them.
So, interesting work involving thumbing my nose as the corrupt, YAY!
But realizing just how horrifically corrupt these producers are is troubling.
@Colleen_definitely
Dear Colleen:This is most definitely Happy and good news... sounds like a very interesting subject for sure.
I have found "pure" honey from small local bee hives at Mom and Pop food fairs and flea markets... or is there some other standard for "pure" that is required for your PhD dissertation ? ???
Wishing you well with your project.
Hugs,
Danielle
Endo appt. today ;D Which is good because I've needed to get in to be seen but had to reschedule twice before do to transportation mixups
Heavy snow last night which may make for a dangerous and scary ride :-\ I just hope the transport driver is good and she gets me there and back safely :eusa_pray:
Quote from: V M on February 05, 2019, 12:24:08 PM
Endo appt. today ;D Which is good because I've needed to get in to be seen but had to reschedule twice before do to transportation mixups
Heavy snow last night which may make for a dangerous and scary ride :-\ I just hope the transport driver is good and she gets me there and back safely :eusa_pray:
@V MPlease be careful as you are out and about... snow and ice are not the friends of cars, trucks, busses, etc. Even if your transport driver or bus driver is "good" ...
even buses do get stuck on the slippery and snow covered roads.... or the "other drivers" may not be such good drivers on the snow and ice... defensive driving is a must.
Be safe, be careful, and good luck on your Endo appointment.
I will be looking for your followup report...
Hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on February 05, 2019, 12:15:54 PM
@Colleen_definitely
Dear Colleen:
This is most definitely Happy and good news... sounds like a very interesting subject for sure.
I have found "pure" honey from small local bee hives at Mom and Pop food fairs and flea markets... or is there some other standard for "pure" that is required for your PhD dissertation ? ???
Wishing you well with your project.
Hugs,
Danielle
The stuff from your local hobby producers is probably pretty pure. At worst they might feed their bees some sugar water to boos production. We can see that in our analysis. That's really a pretty common practice and not a problem since it's still turned into honey by the bees.
The issue lies in places that add sugar syrup directly to honey to make it go farther and still label it as pure. Then there's other varieties where the bees visit some plants that produce bad tasting byproducts in the honey. These lower quality honeys get filtered over some clever resin materials and then sold as clover honey or whatnot. And you guessed it, we can tell when that happens. This has been a common practice because until the last couple of years there hasn't been a good way to detect it. I see this research leading to some serious litigation.
Then there's point of origin testing. There is a ton of honey produced all over the world and due to soil conditions and the local plants each one is a bit different, and it is possible to check to see if the label is lying or not. From the data I looked at today, the labels are generally a lie. Why would they do this? Tax evasion, import duty evasion, avoiding the stigma of "made in China" labels, etc... There's nothing wrong with Chinese or Vietnamese honey, but importers still want to lie about where it comes from for whatever reason.
My particular project might involve working with maple syrup since the database for honey screening is pretty well established. Fake maple syrup is big business and the people producing the genuine stuff have an interest in fighting the phonies. The method for screening that stuff would be pretty similar to honey but it just hasn't been done yet, which might be where I come in.
The holy grail project would involve figuring out how to tell the difference between genuine extra virgin olive oil and other types, because that's a HUGE market with more fake products than genuine.
Snipped:
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on February 05, 2019, 01:01:33 PM
- - - - - -
- - - - - -
My particular project might involve working with maple syrup since the database for honey screening is pretty well established. Fake maple syrup is big business and the people producing the genuine stuff have an interest in fighting the phonies. The method for screening that stuff would be pretty similar to honey but it just hasn't been done yet, which might be where I come in.
- - - - - -
@Colleen_definitely Dear Colleen:Some years ago when I lived in the New England states going to college I would often buy locally produced Maple Syrup ... and there were certainly a lot of differences in appearance and taste.
If I recall correctly there are 4 grades of Maple Syrup:
Fancy
Grade A (Medium Amber)
Grade A (Dark Amber)
Grade B
While the Fancy and Grade A lighter color versions were more desired by most newbie buyers... and hence, more expensive, I found that I liked the less expensive varieties such as Grade B, and also Grade A (Dark Amber.)...they were somewhat thicker and a pleasant and more full-bodied Maple taste.... more taste for the money!!!.... and I did not like as well the "light and very mild taste of the more expensive grades that many newbies think that it reminds them of the fake stuff (Log Cabin, Mrs Butterworth's, etc) that they have used and tasted for many years.
Even back several years, the Fancy and Grade A lighter color Maple Syrups could sell for $40 - $50 per gallon or more...
....and the Grade A darker color and Grade B Maple Syrups could sell for quite a bit less expensive prices of $20 - $30 per gallon.
Locally, one could get the best syrups at the best prices in plain one gallon Tin-Cans from the small mom and pop producers. Sometime the big producers with the fancy packaging and labels would be the most expensive and sell a gallon of the lighter stuff at well over $50-$60+ per gallon.
It can take roughly 45 - 50 gallons of sap to boil down and make a gallon of syrup depending on the time of the season which affects sugar content and grade.
Very interesting stuff... honey or maple syrup, tough choices? ???
Good luck in choosing your subject.
I will be looking for your followup reports if you feel so led to post them.
Hugs,
Danielle
Oh yes, grade B is definitely where it's at for maple syrup.
The unfortunate thing is a lot of stuff being sold as maple syrup is thinned down with corn syrups and the like because it's cheap and boosts profits. (and it's really hard to prove that it's being done, for now)
To be fair things like log cabin aren't sold as maple syrup, but rather table syrup or maple flavored syrup products or whatever. They aren't claiming to be the genuine article, my work would involve developing methods to pick out the fakes being sold as the real deal. The differences in pure vs adulterated syrup is pretty obvious when you stick it in an NMR spectrometer. Something like the differences between real EVOO, VOO, and other olive oils is far more subtle.
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on February 05, 2019, 02:11:11 PM
Oh yes, grade B is definitely where it's at for maple syrup.
The unfortunate thing is a lot of stuff being sold as maple syrup is thinned down with corn syrups and the like because it's cheap and boosts profits. (and it's really hard to prove that it's being done, for now)
To be fair things like log cabin aren't sold as maple syrup, but rather table syrup or maple flavored syrup products or whatever. They aren't claiming to be the genuine article, my work would involve developing methods to pick out the fakes being sold as the real deal. The differences in pure vs adulterated syrup is pretty obvious when you stick it in an NMR spectrometer. Something like the differences between real EVOO, VOO, and other olive oils is far more subtle.
I don't know how much money is in that industry, or how strong the less desirable figures who are pulling the cheating ropes are. But I would not make my work very public, if you could step on some heavy weight boots while doing you project!
I was at my therapist today, and she wrote the gender change letter I need for the gender id and name change, and that made me happy.
But I was supposed to be called by the surgery scheduler today, to tell me when my orchi would be, and nobody called. I final called back and was told that she is out, and is not expected back anymore this week! It might be next week until i know when they plan to make me an ounce or so lighter! And that is not so nice! Nobody seems to be in a hurry to help me to get to the point of my transition at which I want to be!
Hi Colleen
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on February 05, 2019, 02:11:11 PM
Something like the differences between real EVOO, VOO, and other olive oils is far more subtle.
This sounds very interesting. Actually, I've never understood the what
extra virgin olive oil is. Someone once told me that virgin olive oil refers pure oil from the first pressing, done with no heat. However, if
virgin=pure, what is it about the
"extra" version that makes it purer than pure?
Quote from: zirconia on February 05, 2019, 05:38:41 PM
Hi Colleen
This sounds very interesting. Actually, I've never understood the what extra virgin olive oil is. Someone once told me that virgin olive oil refers pure oil from the first pressing, done with no heat. However, if virgin=pure, what is it about the "extra" version that makes it purer than pure?
It might mean that somewhere, but in the USA at least it's a bit more technical. Here's something that might make your head hurt if you're normal and not a weird chemist or food science type person: https://oliveoilsource.com/page/product-grade-definitions
This page is geared more toward normal folks: https://californiaoliveranch.com/olive-oil-101/grades-of-olive-oil/
But the basics of it is that extra virgin olive oil is straight out of the olive without any further chemical or heating treatment AND passes some tests about how much oleic acid is in it and how it tastes. Filtering it is OK if I remember correctly, but that's mostly just for color.
Virgin olive oil doesn't taste quite as good (though it's still good), has a bit more oleic acid, and a there's a few more chemical criteria that doesn't mean much to most people. But as I recall it's still pressed out of olives without heat (or not much heat) and no chemical extraction processes.
Then you get into pomace oils which is where they grind up what's left after pressing out the virgin oils, heating it and/or chemically treating it. Usually there's a bunch of other stuff that comes out so they refine this stuff further. It usually gets sold as plain old "olive oil." It works well for cooking but I wouldn't buy it to season and dip bread in.
Anyway the issue comes in where you get people adding refined oils or even non-olive oils to things labeled as extra virgin. Figuring out a reliable, fast, and inexpensive screening procedure to separate the sham from the real would be worth big money.
Quote from: Dietlind on February 05, 2019, 05:29:07 PM
I don't know how much money is in that industry, or how strong the less desirable figures who are pulling the cheating ropes are. But I would not make my work very public, if you could step on some heavy weight boots while doing you project!
Olive oil is where the really big money is at, though the wine and juice screening that is already being done is even bigger.
Anyway with maple syrup it's likely to yield some really interesting publications and you better believe that I'm going to publish that sort of work. It's good for my career as a grad student and peer review helps legitimatize the process. I might even pick up some collaborators on the project that way.
The cool thing about this is I would use equipment from my old employer and since I have friends there, it would help development of the hardware and improve the database quality for screening. Plus I might get to make or use some neato experimental hardware.
Quote from: Dietlind on February 05, 2019, 05:33:49 PM
I was at my therapist today, and she wrote the gender change letter I need for the gender id and name change, and that made me happy.
Yay!
Quote from: Dietlind on February 05, 2019, 05:33:49 PM
But I was supposed to be called by the surgery scheduler today, to tell me when my orchi would be, and nobody called. I final called back and was told that she is out, and is not expected back anymore this week! It might be next week until i know when they plan to make me an ounce or so lighter! And that is not so nice! Nobody seems to be in a hurry to help me to get to the point of my transition at which I want to be!
Booo
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on February 05, 2019, 07:36:38 PM
that I'm going to publish that sort of work. It's good for my career as a grad student and peer review helps legitimatize the process. I might even pick up some collaborators on the project that way.
The cool thing about this is I would use equipment from my old employer and since I have friends there, it would help development of the hardware and improve the database quality for screening. Plus I might get to make or use some neato experimental hardware.
Yay!
Booo
Publishing is OK (and you have to do it, if you stay in akademia), but if your work hurts some big guys, you may want to look a little over your shoulders. Once it is finished, and becomes public domain, it is OK again. Just in the development phase, I would not brag t everybody about it.
We were not allowed to talk about anything until a patent was filed. You may want to look into it, if it falls under Intellectual Property, and if so, just create a record of invention and let it sign off by two coworkers!
Once it is signed off, you are protected, because the US Intellectual Property law goes by "first invented". At that point you can decide if you or whoever wants to get patent protection, or if you want to sell it!
Oh yes everything gets documented, but unfortunately the school gets the benefits from patents discovered while being paid by them and using their equipment. Not unlike working in industry.
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on February 05, 2019, 08:11:47 PM
Oh yes everything gets documented, but unfortunately the school gets the benefits from patents discovered while being paid by them and using their equipment. Not unlike working in industry.
Yes, I am the inventor (get a nice diploma for it, and a nice dinner with spouse), but the employer is the owner.
But it sounds pretty good for any potential employer, if your name is as inventor on a few patents!
Publishing is good for akademica, patents cut it with industry (cause that is real pocket change for them).
Colleen,
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on February 05, 2019, 07:27:04 PM
Virgin olive oil doesn't taste quite as good (though it's still good), has a bit more oleic acid, and a there's a few more chemical criteria that doesn't mean much to most people. But as I recall it's still pressed out of olives without heat (or not much heat) and no chemical extraction processes.
Thank you... that and the links helped, although the reasoning still confuses me. It looks like someone hybridized the product definition with quality labels and then glued a similar but different product to the resulting hodgepodge.
Extra virgin has always made me both cringe and laugh—I always think of someone claiming to be "extra virgin" or confessing to be "um, a little pregnant."
Quote from: zirconia on February 06, 2019, 01:13:10 AM
Extra virgin has always made me both cringe and laugh—I always think of someone claiming to be "extra virgin" or confessing to be "um, a little pregnant."
You got it wrong! When you transition into a woman after a certain age, the chances to become a none virgin woman are very slim, and that makes you automatically to be extra virgin!
No, it means that your friend is a virgin too and you like to slather each other with olive oil LOL >:-)
Well I made it home from my endo appt, but not until after a 4 & 1/2 hr. hayride through hell which included sliding off the road and getting stuck, listening to the repetitive borish conversations of other passengers and needing to pee like mad :P My sides ached for 2 hours after I finally got home and I was worried the whole time that the driver's car might break down because it made all kinds of strange noises
The endo appt. went well though except they nearly wouldn't see me because I got there 20 minutes late
So yeah, 4 hr.s of insanity just to be seen for a 1/2 hr
Are we having fun yet? LOL
Quote from: V M on February 06, 2019, 02:24:00 PM
No, it means that your friend is a virgin too and you like to slather each other with olive oil LOL >:-)
Well I made it home from my endo appt, but not until after a 4 & 1/2 hr. hayride through hell which included sliding off the road and getting stuck, listening to the repetitive borish conversations of other passengers and needing to pee like mad :P My sides ached for 2 hours after I finally got home and I was worried the whole time that the driver's car might break down because it made all kinds of strange noises
The endo appt. went well though except they nearly wouldn't see me because I got there 20 minutes late
So yeah, 4 hr.s of insanity just to be seen for a 1/2 hr
Are we having fun yet? LOL
@V MDear V M:Thanks for your followup report. I am glad that your Endo appointment went well in spite of the traveling difficulties that you encountered trying to get there on time.
I am sure that with the bad weather and bad driving conditions on the roads that they had many patients showing up late or not at all. If appointments weren't so difficult to get, it might have been wise to cancel it until the roads and the weather cleared.
I am certain, that as you stated your "Hayride through Hell" and sliding off of the road were not the best part of your day, and then almost peeing your pants in the van... that just was the highlight of it all for you!!! ;)..
So, did your Endo suggest any changes in your meds or anything else or as you said, it went well?
Thank you for sharing your very appropriate post here
on the
"What Made You Both Happy and Unhappy at the Same Time Today?" thread.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Quote from: V M on February 06, 2019, 02:24:00 PM
No, it means that your friend is a virgin too and you like to slather each other with olive oil LOL >:-)
Well I made it home from my endo appt, but not until after a 4 & 1/2 hr. hayride through hell which included sliding off the road and getting stuck, listening to the repetitive borish conversations of other passengers and needing to pee like mad :P My sides ached for 2 hours after I finally got home and I was worried the whole time that the driver's car might break down because it made all kinds of strange noises
The endo appt. went well though except they nearly wouldn't see me because I got there 20 minutes late
So yeah, 4 hr.s of insanity just to be seen for a 1/2 hr
Are we having fun yet? LOL
That whole drive could have been much easier, I you would live in southern Florida, only 82 degrees today! Only problem, because it is the waiting room to heaven here, hardly any endos decide to put their tents don here, and you have to wait half a century to get an appointment.
I will get my testicles removed in a few days, which would make you think that there could be a change in hormones, but my endo will not see me before end of March to adjust my HRT accordingly!
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on February 06, 2019, 02:40:37 PM
@V M
Dear V M:
Thanks for your followup report. I am glad that your Endo appointment went well in spite of the traveling difficulties that you encountered trying to get there on time.
I am sure that with the bad weather and bad driving conditions on the roads that they had many patients showing up late or not at all. If appointments weren't so difficult to get, it might have been wise to cancel it until the roads and the weather cleared.
I am certain, that as you stated your "Hayride through Hell" and sliding off of the road were not the best part of your day, and then almost peeing your pants in the van... that just was the highlight of it all for you!!! ;)..
So, did your Endo suggest any changes in your meds or anything else or as you said, it went well?
Thank you for sharing your very appropriate post here
on the "What Made You Both Happy and Unhappy at the Same Time Today?" thread.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Actually it was a rather cramped 4 door sedan but it was important to make this appt. as I already had to reschedule twice and I needed to re-up on my scripts
Another nice surprise is the chemist er pharmacy delivered my meds about a 1/2 hr after I'd been home ;D
Hugs
Struggling to find a life experience or path that's suitable for me, but being held back by my own insecurities...
Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk
last night actually.
We were loading up the car to go shopping. I stepped past the car window on my way back into the house. In my peripheral vision I saw him in the reflection. Not just any him, him from years ago with no changes. It made my heart stop (felt like) and my head spin. I made it up the steps to my front door and stopped. I had to close my eyes.
I've never used a mental litany before. This time I stood there and repeated "I am a woman" "I am pretty" over and over. After forever (few seconds more like) I continued into the house.
Once back in the car and on the way shopping I realized .. I don't feel bad. The moment had passed, it came and went. Was it the litany? I don't know. I'm just glad it left so that I could enjoy the evening.
Quote from: Faith on February 15, 2019, 08:24:46 AM
last night actually.
We were loading up the car to go shopping. I stepped past the car window on my way back into the house. In my peripheral vision I saw him in the reflection. Not just any him, him from years ago with no changes. It made my heart stop (felt like) and my head spin. I made it up the steps to my front door and stopped. I had to close my eyes.
I've never used a mental litany before. This time I stood there and repeated "I am a woman" "I am pretty" over and over. After forever (few seconds more like) I continued into the house.
Once back in the car and on the way shopping I realized .. I don't feel bad. The moment had passed, it came and went. Was it the litany? I don't know. I'm just glad it left so that I could enjoy the evening.
Been there, believe me. Except you dealt with it much better than I did then. It prompted a full-scale, multi-day meltdown for me. You should be justifyingly proud for the way you bounced back. Good on ya, girl!
Stephanie
What made me happy driving home from work my favourite pizza place was still open so I stopped and they where about go sold my 1 and a half large pizzas for $15. The guy was Jamaican and said come in I'll make a deal on these pizzas mon. What made me unhappy was hitting my head on a filling cabbnit at work cheap devious pizza makes up for it..
Had a TERF screenshot an old tweet of mine where I was jokingly complaining about getting misgendered while looking pretty good, conflate it with a pre-Laser picture I posted and create a hit thread. Result, about 40 replies from transphobic jerks doing that supremely feminist action of mocking appearance. There were a few that missed the point of the mockery and apparently thought I was cis and legitimately seemed to say "how'd that pretty girl get sir'd!", which sort of torpedo'd their whole "haha you don't pass" line from within, so that was funny. I found out about all of this because one particularly intelligent (read: incredibly clueless) specimen actually @'d me in his reply mocking me. Anyway, the few "positive" ones aside, I cried a good bit in the middle of Chick-fil-a.
Then I got angry. Reported whole thread one by one, linked entire thing to Twitter support. The original poster realized what was happening, and dropped their account into protected and tried to delete things too late. ;D
So yeah. It sucked it happened. But you know what? Justice can be sweet. Multiple of the people in the thread are already suspended.
I've been so incredibly busy lately, hardly time to catch my breath :P But I'm getting a lot done and that makes me feel good
At least I'm not boorishly milling about and wasting much of my time on meaningless frivolity ;)
I am kinda bummed out that I can't stay awake long enough to watch a movie at night though
my youngest daughter came with her boyfriend and visited for several hours, and then they left, awww....
Happy: The last season of Game of Thrones is finally here! We get to find out what happens! :D
Unhappy: The last season of Game of Thrones is finally here! That means its nearly over. :-\
I'm so hooked on this freakin' show. :o
Ryuichi
Contacted the University of Florida, Miami to find out if they take my insurance. They answered very promt.
(this made me happy)
But the answer was:
Please call Dr Nugent to set up an appointment, wee will answer all your questions at that time!
That made me sad!
Frustrated that my favorite B&S 5hp engine has had it. Happy I found a short block replacement for a 45 year old engine. Sad, I can't afford it right now.
Lisa
I experienced another rite of passage today: boobie sunburn. Apparently I needed to reapply more often when showing some cleavage.
But these things are going to look kinda gross when the peeling starts. :-X
I tried some new nail polish (well, old yet new). color == Black Tie. Not truly black the colors shift with the light, black, gray, blue, violet, very cool. To fit a scheme I put on my black boots, black tights, dark-toned short'ish skirt, black top. I also wore my yin-yang choker (braided with wooden pieces) and a jeweled black bracelet that fit over my long sleeves. I matched with some darker make-up and darker red lipstick.
Well, I thought I looked really good, I felt good, wandered at work to varying degrees of 'you look nice' to 'wow, you're killin' it!' Asking me if I was going out because the outfit was wasted at work. So, yeah, I felt really good ... except ..........................
.................. Lori's face when I left, the distancing, watery eyes .. yep, she only saw 'her' as well and it hit her, hard - he is not there. It hounded me all day. Despite my 'feel good' I had a dark cloud. By the time I got home I went straight to the bathroom and removed my face - crying the whole time because I could see her literally disappearing before my eyes. Everything came off and on went the blue jean and button up shirt. I tied my hair back as far as I could, liberally applying mousse to tame it flat.
I'm keeping it all choked in for the most part.
yeah, that's my day.
@Faith Dear Faith:Your comment certainly fit into the topic of
"Happy and Unhappy at the Same Time" ....
In previous posts of yours I had the impression that Lori was on board with your transition but I guess that there is still the thought in her mind about you .... her? him?
I have no words to offer other than wishing you well walking your tightrope and trusting you success with your transition and also success at home with Lori. Those two things hopefully are inclusive and I am rooting for you and Lori. I will keep you two in my thoughts.
Thanks for posting.
Hugs,
Danielle
there are two sides in every married couple going through transition. Lori does fully support me, that doesn't change the fact that she loves him, married him, misses him, grieves for him. In many ways this is much harder on her than it is on me. I am becoming me, who I should be, who I always was. She is losing him, has lost him. Yet here I am, reminding her everyday of what she has lost because I am still here - yet not.
@Faith Dear Faith:You gave a wonderful and truthful explanation.
Again, you two are in my thoughts and prayers...
Wishing you the best,
HUGS,
DanielleQuote from: Faith on May 09, 2019, 04:26:56 PM
there are two sides in every married couple going through transition. Lori does fully support me, that doesn't change the fact that she loves him, married him, misses him, grieves for him. In many ways this is much harder on her than it is on me. I am becoming me, who I should be, who I always was. She is losing him, has lost him. Yet here I am, reminding her everyday of what she has lost because I am still here - yet not.
Quote from: Faith on May 09, 2019, 04:26:56 PM
there are two sides in every married couple going through transition.
It's not easy, it fact it's one of the hardest things in this world to navigate (transition within a marriage).
Best wishes to you both...
C -
Got parking ticket at the county court house for illegal parking. They wanted $54 from me for this. i went right to the manager and showed him my handicapped placard, and a picture of my car sitting there with the card hanging from he mirror.
Ticket was scrapped, and I was told that they will educate their parking control officers better about what such a card means!
I lost $54 and found them again!
Unhappy - Cheapskates and fake nice hostile takeovers
Happy - I really couldn't give a shnick anymore
Yesterday at work I was helping a customer with something and he started talking crap about my painted nails and earrings. He didn't go far enough for me to involve management and get him kicked out of the store but he did make me feel bad. That's the unhappy part. >:(
I felt empowered enough to tell him his attitude was pretty crappy and to have a rotten day. That's the happy part. ;D
Quote from: Thea on May 22, 2019, 12:30:10 PM
Yesterday at work I was helping a customer with something and he started talking crap about my painted nails and earrings. He didn't go far enough for me to involve management and get him kicked out of the store but he did make me feel bad. That's the unhappy part. >:(
I felt empowered enough to tell him his attitude was pretty crappy and to have a rotten day. That's the happy part. ;D
@Thea Dear Thea:What you reported regarding your customer is a sad statement of how some people can ridicule, insult and treat others.
I know it is easy for me to say, but we can not control how others treat us, BUT we do have control of how we react.
I trust that your day today at work is better than yesterday. :) :) :)
Thank you for sharing, posting.... and venting...
Hugs and best wishes,
Danielle
Quote from: Thea on May 22, 2019, 12:30:10 PM
Yesterday at work I was helping a customer with something and he started talking crap about my painted nails and earrings. He didn't go far enough for me to involve management and get him kicked out of the store but he did make me feel bad. That's the unhappy part. >:(
I felt empowered enough to tell him his attitude was pretty crappy and to have a rotten day. That's the happy part. ;D
That was not nice for him to say. People can be so thoughtless. This mean talk on his part was something beyond your control. Yuck is what I say about his actions.
Keep cheerful and smile. :)
Hugs,
Chrissy
What made me happy. I found a decent mechanic got my car fixed
What made me unhappy he called me sir when I picked it up
To have a good mechanic I'm willing to put up with it
Last week, I was finally able to have my front teeth capped.
But over the weekend I somehow chipped one. So now I have to go back and have it repaired. I'm only glad that it doesn't hurt!
Ryuichi
Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk
Quote from: Ryuichi13 on May 23, 2019, 04:10:24 AM
Last week, I was finally able to have my front teeth capped.
But over the weekend I somehow chipped one. So now I have to go back and have it repaired. I'm only glad that it doesn't hurt!
Ryuichi
Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk
@Ryuichi13 OH NO !!!! I hope that it doesn't cost the same to repair it as it did for the new cap/crown that you had your dentist put on last week.
The good news is that it doesn't cause you any pain right now.
Hmmmm, "painless Dentistry" ....
it is a LIE !!! ;) :o
It might be best for you to not chew on nails any more!!!! ;D
Wishing you well,
HUGS,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on May 23, 2019, 12:07:19 PM
@Ryuichi13
OH NO !!!! I hope that it doesn't cost the same to repair it as it did for the new cap/crown that you had your dentist put on last week.
The good news is that it doesn't cause you any pain right now.
Hmmmm, "painless Dentistry" .... it is a LIE !!! ;) :o
It might be best for you to not chew on nails any more!!!! ;D
Wishing you well,
HUGS,
Danielle
Honestly, the shot they gave me to numb my mouth hurt WAY more than the actual procedure did! :-\ The dentist said that most people don't even need anything for pain, but my pain resistance is stupid-low, so I had to get the shot. ugh. It HURT!
My current state has a program that pays for a couple of basic dental procedures, so I didn't have to pay a dime. OTOH, I also need a root canal done in order to try and save a molar,
and I also want a implanted tooth on the other side. So I applied for and got just enough credit from care credit to be able to pay for these procedures.
I hear that they also cover surgeries. Wonder if they would cover liposuction, I have a spare tire I'd like to get rid of.... :laugh:
Ryuichi
I had 3 job interviews this past week after job hunting for
6 weeks and multiple interviews. This week is different though
I took a different approach to my interviews.
The result is 3 job offers and I'm stuck deciding all clean jobs
So I'm both happy because I was pre transition the last time this happened
And it awesome having that happen again one wanted to hire me on the spot.
I'm unhappy though that instead of having 1 offer all 3 companies made me
An offer. Yesterday..
So I guess I'm going to get an Americano from my
Favourite coffee shop near my house walk down to the ocean
And try and think this threw
Quote from: Michelledeanna1989 on May 25, 2019, 12:08:32 PM
I had 3 job interviews this past week after job hunting for
6 weeks and multiple interviews. This week is different though
I took a different approach to my interviews.
The result is 3 job offers and I'm stuck deciding all clean jobs
So I'm both happy because I was pre transition the last time this happened
And it awesome having that happen again one wanted to hire me on the spot.
I'm unhappy though that instead of having 1 offer all 3 companies made me
An offer. Yesterday..
So I guess I'm going to get an Americano from my
Favourite coffee shop near my house walk down to the ocean
And try and think this threw
@Michelledeanna1989 This all sounds like good *and happy* NEWS to me.
When you do you have to make your decision about which offer you are going to accept? ???
Thank you for sharing,
HUGS, and well wishes,
Danielle
Quote from: Michelledeanna1989 on May 25, 2019, 12:08:32 PM
I had 3 job interviews this past week after job hunting for
6 weeks and multiple interviews. This week is different though
I took a different approach to my interviews.
The result is 3 job offers and I'm stuck deciding all clean jobs
So I'm both happy because I was pre transition the last time this happened
And it awesome having that happen again one wanted to hire me on the spot.
I'm unhappy though that instead of having 1 offer all 3 companies made me
An offer. Yesterday..
So I guess I'm going to get an Americano from my
Favourite coffee shop near my house walk down to the ocean
And try and think this threw
Congrats! I hope you make the choice that's best for you!
Ryuichi
Thank I am leaning towards house cleaning
It's a little bit more money plus weekends off
I had a migraine all afternoon so I'm just going to
Think it threw then pick what feel right tomorrow
Morning contact my pick
Seeing friends I've been missing.
Realizing how much I've been missing.
My younger brother had his third baby this weekend. They're a happy and healthy baby!
So the fam were all talking in the group text about the baby and talking in general, and one of my sisters came on and deadnamed me. I corrected her, so she said "I refuse to use that name. I'll call you "hey you" or "you there" instead.
So I decided that I'm going to do the same to her.
My new family member is gorgeous though!
I guess this is happy-unhappy-angry-happy.
Ryuichi
Started my new job yesterday went well
Only part that made me unhappy is I was
To beat to go to yoga feel a sleep wnd missed my
Class
What made me happy is that I'm finally taking steps to transition...but the thought of all the turmoil a transition would bring with it makes me unhappy.
It's a very confusing time!
<lurker mode off> ;)
Yesterday I went to a Club with a friend and when we arrived the female bouncer asked us if we are men, I told her no but I was honest and calmly explained ourselves and that the chosen wording of the question was offending and gave advice on how to better handle such a situation in the future) we were allowed to enter as females.
I met an amazing guy there and it was mind blowing >:-)
So unhappy for getting clocked (but not sure if it was me, her or us both - in the end it doesn't matter) but very happy about the good experience of the rest of the night! ;D
Can't stop thinking about it so I had to share
Was at the German consulate in Miami today, to apply for my new passport with my new name and gender marker.
Everything went amazing well, and was approved. That means that I am now for the entire EU Linde XXX with the gender marker F!
The bad thing is that the consulate is smack down town Miami, and traffic flow and management seems to be no know there. I encountered traffic problems, which I can only compare with Naples, Italy. Traffic in Chicago, New York, Rome Italy, or Paris France, is child's play with the situation in Miami!
What made me happy recently was the nice birthday gift I received from my sweetie. She gave me a really comfy and nice sleep gown.
What made me unhappy recently was that my E became more costly.
The pluses outweigh the negatives though. That is good!
Chrissy