One person that is to some a mix between friend and counselor is your electrolysist.
Many hours are spent together, often discussing life.
One topic that comes up is clothing. I had mentioned that if I wore something into her office that just didn't work for me, to please tell me. She asked "are you sure"?!?
We were talking about colors, and that one observation that she noticed with her transgender patients was that pink was always a common color especially with the beginners. She couldn't understand why, she rarely wore pink.
I told her one of the whys is that transgender women struggle to capture every feminine cue they can with the way they appear. The human brain can scan for gender nearly instantaneous. For transgender women there needs to be far more female cues to pass the brain test.
Now this is a woman that has transgender friends and experience with transgender women and hadn't understood this. She totally got it after my explanation, but my point here is that even though she seemed enlightened, she too is still learning.
I am still under going electrolysis and our conversations are particularly interesting especially with certain political topics. ;)
At times we also discuss fashion and presentation. We both agree, wear what you like and just be yourself. I do have a few pink tops, but I rarely wear them. I do prefer soft, lighter fabrics today rather than the course, dark fabrics of before transition. I am partial to blues and red is just not my color. To each their own, I guess. :-\
Quote from: Dani on March 08, 2019, 05:01:17 AMI do have a few pink tops, but I rarely wear them.
Get the impression many new trans women tend to overdo the dressing thing . . . I have a fav pink oxford button down that is included in job's "pastel color dress policy" but notice most cis female co-workers tend to avoid it, opting for more masculine white, blue or yellow instead.
A sign of our modern "
be-comfortable" business casual times? Why has masculine cross-dressing become quite ok but certainly not the other way around? Always suspected "feminine expression" in general is
DEAD so, if gonna partake, your gonna stand out regardless!
Speaking of "
going under the needle" my daughter just got another tattoo which I find abhorrent suppose "
crusty 'ole sailors" are still alive and well!
Quote from: Chloe on March 08, 2019, 06:07:53 AM
Get the impression many new trans women tend to overdo the dressing thing . . . I have a fav pink oxford button down that is included in job's "pastel color dress policy" but notice most cis female co-workers tend to avoid it, opting for more masculine white, blue or yellow instead.
A sign of our modern "be-comfortable" business casual times? Why has masculine cross-dressing become quite ok but certainly not the other way around? I've always suspected "feminine expression" in general is DEAD so, if gonna partake, your gonna stand out regardless!
perception is that the workplace is still male orientated. Women tend to dress in 'business attire' and that equates to what the men wear. A desire to even the playing field through that perception. They want to 'fit in' to that male workspace. Now, I am generalizing
A LOT so don't beat me up on that.
Trans gals - want to show the gal so we tend to announce ourselves through our clothing. I have several pink that I no longer wear, or seldom. Why? they don't fit
me, who I see myself as. I still like them, still wear them occasionally. They are not my 'go to'. We aren't trying to 'fit in' with the businessmen, we've already been there (for the most part). We're trying to fit in with the ladies ... and that changes our dress code.
This is a great topic!
I do agree, my electrologist has also become a friend and therapist and we usually engage in all kind of girl talk during our sessions.
She has had a few transgender patients in the past and she had mentioned similar things than your electrologist
@Jessica. That many of us tend to "overdo" our presentation. I explained the same way you did by telling her that at the beginning we have to show as many cues as possible to ensure we are seen as women.
She has said multiple times that some of her other patients have commented about me being there and that all of them have seen me as the woman I am, not a single one had any idea. Well... one maybe: The lady who walked in on us during bottom hair removal ;D
Besides that? We talk about family, her business, my work, her former boyfriends and her suitors. Of course, we talk about cute men and we share similar views on politics. And my upcoming surgery - she fears I may regret it and predicts I will develop an interest in men: both of which I did deny.
Se is a very direct person and sometimes has no filter. But this is very helpful, so if I am ever dressed out of line, I will know.
As I said, she has become a friend and I really enjoy our (affirming) girl talk...
Quote from: Faith on March 08, 2019, 06:17:57 AMWe're trying to fit in with the ladies ... and that changes our dress code.
Faith lol <
a rant only> and if I say "
women's place is in the home" that will get me beat up here, right? My "dress code" is mostly dark blue, patterned "Liz Claborne" pajamas and a white stretch "2aTee" tanktop 'cause my recently tattoo'd, "
working 21yr daughter" is NOT spending enough time with her 3-year-old yet accuses me of spoiling her, of wanting to be her "favorite"!
Who's gonna watch these kid's if us grandparents don't do it? Daycare? Druggy useless jobless boyfriend? Our lovely welfare state?
<ok ok rant over> @Jessica yet another "
under the needle" but for all wrong reasons!
( ps: "professional wardrobe" not required here lotsa nice underthings suffices! ;) Just gotta watch out for those pesky door-bell rings . . . >:-) )