I can't promise to myself that I'll come out by a certain time, I said I was going to come out by last week ages ago, but instead I held it in and didn't tell no one. It's so hard to tell people and ask for help, I may have social anxiety for sure.
Quote from: jake3029 on November 10, 2018, 01:40:17 PM
I can't promise to myself that I'll come out by a certain time, I said I was going to come out by last week ages ago, but instead I held it in and didn't tell no one. It's so hard to tell people and ask for help, I may have social anxiety for sure.
@jake3029 Dear Jake:My thought for you is to perhaps take "baby steps" first. Maybe instead of coming-out to everyone at once, select one or a few of your very close and hopefully accepting friends... each time you come-out it will become a little easier.
"Holding it in" is very wearing on your mental state of mind. When you do come-out either in baby steps or all at once, it will be like a big and heavy weight is lifted off of your shoulders and relieves your mental stress.... thus allowing you to live more freely and be a much happier person...
Wishing your well and I will be eagerly looking for your updates as you feel free to post them.
Danielle
This is not uncommon. Coming out is a difficult, scary thing to do. It took me six months, from the time I decided I had to do it until I actually did.
What helped me was to have someone check up on me from time to time. I had a member here who checked in with me from time to time to ask, "Have you done it yet?" It was kind of like nagging, but I knew it was meant kindly, and it did, in the end, help me to actually take that step. It is easier to keep a committment if someone will hold you to it.
I also have the same problem. But I have sort of a solution to it. I just keep hinting stuff to my friends like "tgat guy looks cute", "i would like to wear that" , ect. And finally when a friend of mine that also helped a friend of hers when he came out as bi asked me what i was hinting at i told her my secret. Of course, this is only recommended if you have total trust in your friend. Just remember that you should have a psychologist in your school or near you who you can talk to to let your emotions out regularly, it will make it easier.
Thank you all, I might try to hint it to people, I hope it gets me feeling more comfortable to come out as well.
If you have someone you can trust and share with then tell them your goal. Make a plan of who or how you will come out to different people. I had a certain order that made sense to me with some people I could trust and were easy to talk to first. Others choose to do it in a mass way like Facebook. Set dates and write them down. For me, the key was to go back to that person I initially told and I shared my goal, timeline, and plan with them. Sharing made it harder to put it off.
Ultimately, do what works for you. :)
It's all a matter of coming out slowly, but surely.
I started by coming out to friends that I knew were accepting of trans people or just those who love me unconditionally. That small group of people can really give you a burst of confidence when coming out. With parents and family, it is a little bit harder since you are bound by blood but if they really do love you, they will still support you, even if it takes them a while to come around.
What I've done to cope and have a good support system is have a group of people I refer to as my "chosen family" and go to them for help and advice.