Last night I did something that pushed my comfort zone (seeing as I'm currently so far in the closet I can see Narnia). I drove in my girl clothes! My friend does a monthly games night that always finishes ridiculously late (about 3am on average) and he lives down a street in the middle of nowhere. So I made sure I was the last to leave, had my clothes to change into in the car (it was pitch black in the street so no one could see me change) and then drove home (about a 30 minute drive) while it was dark and the roads were empty. It felt amazing to be doing something other than just pottering around the house in them (although there was the moment of panic on the occasions that I did see another car).
It was a little terrifying when I got home though, as I'd forgotten in my excitement that the streetlights on my road stay on all night. Luckily at that time in the morning no one was awake, and again it felt absolutely brilliant to (albeit only for a few seconds) be walking out in the world in them, but at the same time it was a nerve-wracking few seconds and a bit much for me! I think if/when (which hopefully I will :D ) I try it again, I'll find another dark area near my house to change back - I don't want to push my luck!
Quote from: Maria2018 on September 21, 2018, 09:19:03 PM
Last night I did something that pushed my comfort zone (seeing as I'm currently so far in the closet I can see Narnia). I drove in my girl clothes! My friend does a monthly games night that always finishes ridiculously late (about 3am on average) and he lives down a street in the middle of nowhere. So I made sure I was the last to leave, had my clothes to change into in the car (it was pitch black in the street so no one could see me change) and then drove home (about a 30 minute drive) while it was dark and the roads were empty. It felt amazing to be doing something other than just pottering around the house in them (although there was the moment of panic on the occasions that I did see another car).
It was a little terrifying when I got home though, as I'd forgotten in my excitement that the streetlights on my road stay on all night. Luckily at that time in the morning no one was awake, and again it felt absolutely brilliant to (albeit only for a few seconds) be walking out in the world in them, but at the same time it was a nerve-wracking few seconds and a bit much for me! I think if/when (which hopefully I will :D ) I try it again, I'll find another dark area near my house to change back - I don't want to push my luck!
That is so awesome! It's so exciting to explore when first coming out. :icon_chick:
Be brave and push your luck because it feels so good to be who you are --- but be safe! Best wishes sweetie!
It will be easier and easier. Trust me. But if you live near a large city, look to see if they have support groups. The one I go to has a place to change before the meeting and you can show everyone how lovely you are. The other one in the middle of the city's largest LGBTQ... community and it is really nice to walk the streets with nobody paying attention. You still have to be cautious but there are restaurants, theaters, music venues, bars and stores with rainbows in the window.
Maria - What a rush huh?!
I remember buying my first pair of womens shoes in a shop (I din't try them on in shop but were fairly confident they would fit - I could've taken them back for a bigger size if necessary) - that was nerve racking in itself but putting them on and driving home `20mins was awesome - I loved the feeling of having them on, of seeing them, and of knowing I was moving along in the direction I wanted to go!
Take care,
Sonja.
Well this weekend got even more exciting. About a week ago I ordered an emerald green nightdress off ebay and it arrived today :D It's the first thing I've actually bought for myself, as opposed to liberating from a bag destined for a charity shop. It's so soft and pretty and I love it :)
The first time finally doing something you've always felt you are meant to do/be is always euphoric! Congratulations. Each little step you make will make you feel better and before you knew it, you'd come out into full bloom! I'm very excited on what lies ahead of you. Perhaps you can try to look around your area for support, like any other transgirls there that you can have as a new friend/s? I'm sure they'll be able to be very helpful on your adventure to womanhood. Good luck to you!
Regards,
Azure