Greetings All,
I'm new to the Forum, but I have appreciated reading all the invaluable wisdom of this community. I can only hope I'm not being redundant in asking this question, but I have had difficulty in finding answers.
I am just over two months into transitioning male via HRT. My husband and kids are amazing and supportive. And I think our little family is going to thrive. But I do have some concerns from a legal standpoint. I will be changing my name soon. When I do, I know there's a lot of different documents I will need to update. Will I need to update my children's birth certificates to ensure that no one disputes my parental claim to them in the event of an emergency? Also, will I need to update my marriage certificate? I wasn't sure how this worked, or if having the social security number suffices because it is consistent.
I would love to hear from others who married and had kids prior to transition and the approach they took in this area. Thanks so much for your insights in advance! I will of course be glad to weigh in on other forms where I I'm able.
Best,
Al
I updated my children's birth certificates, but my lawyer advised against attempting to change my marriage license/certificate. But, that was before the supreme court ruling in favor of same sex marriage. I live in Missouri and had to get a court order before they would change my name on the kids BCs. I have talked with my wife about changing our marriage license since the ruling by the SOTUS, but we just don't care enough to change it. We never have to produce it, so why bother? We've been married 27 years and don't need a piece of paper to prove it. lol
It may really depend where you live if it is even possible.
I had the same question a while ago, maybe the thread provides some insight:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,230655.msg2050253.html#msg2050253
I pretty much decided to leave the birth certificate alone. Marriage certificate is a bit more complicated, We had to show it on several occasions.
Hello Al, welcome to Susan's!
Sounds like your transition is going well overall, that is awesome.
Since this was your first post I'll add information we like to provide to new members - to help with navigation and site guidelines.
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Great to see you here!
Kendra
Quote from: sarah1972 on April 24, 2018, 07:10:22 AM
It may really depend where you live if it is even possible.
I had the same question a while ago, maybe the thread provides some insight:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,230655.msg2050253.html#msg2050253
I pretty much decided to leave the birth certificate alone. Marriage certificate is a bit more complicated, We had to show it on several occasions.
Ooh- that is helpful. Thank you!
Quote from: ainsley on April 24, 2018, 06:00:34 AM
I updated my children's birth certificates, but my lawyer advised against attempting to change my marriage license/certificate. But, that was before the supreme court ruling in favor of same sex marriage. I live in Missouri and had to get a court order before they would change my name on the kids BCs. I have talked with my wife about changing our marriage license since the ruling by the SOTUS, but we just don't care enough to change it. We never have to produce it, so why bother? We've been married 27 years and don't need a piece of paper to prove it. lol
Thanks for the insights. I was concerned that if there was a different name on the marriage certificate that it could potentially imperil later spousal benefits. Like if we ever needed to furnish proof of our marriage I was concerned it would appear valid. But perhaps as long as it's Social Security numbers match it's not an issue? Also, I wondered if it's someone documented as a spouse under my birth name if it would be challenged if he now has a different spouse name listed in his records. I have no idea though.
One thing that might help is to have a duplicate copy of the court name change document. That along with your Marriage License or birth certificates should prove that your a parent of your children. All my documentation is switched over but I am still hanging on to a copy of the court order just in case something should pop up.
Cis women go through this all the time. Name changes are not an issue as long as you keep the proof of the name changes.
Quote from: Inspectoral on April 24, 2018, 10:58:11 PM
Thanks for the insights. I was concerned that if there was a different name on the marriage certificate that it could potentially imperil later spousal benefits. Like if we ever needed to furnish proof of our marriage I was concerned it would appear valid. But perhaps as long as it's Social Security numbers match it's not an issue? Also, I wondered if it's someone documented as a spouse under my birth name if it would be challenged if he now has a different spouse name listed in his records. I have no idea though.
Once your name is changed legally, just keep a copy of your court order in case HR is worried about benefit eligibility for spouse/kids. With many companies covering domestic partners most HR departments have gone away from requiring a marriage certificate for benefits. :) I have not had to show mine for the last 3 jobs I have held. I carry a copy of my court order still, and had to use it Monday to get my daughter's car title changed at the DMV because it had my old name on it (it is in my wife and I's name). I got my property tax list from the county assessor and it was in my old name several weeks ago. lol...another loose end I had forgotten to take care of! And, yes, making sure you SSN matches you current name is one of the best things you can do.
I know this topic is a few months old. I had just spoken to my lawyer about the entire name change and he highly recommended amending your kids birth certificates, especially if they are of young age, otherwise, your parent relationship could be questioned.