Okay so this girl has a thing for me and wants to sleep with me. I am not attracted to her and I don't really know how to tell her no without making her feel unattractive. She knows I am single so saying I am dating someone is not going to work. Help?
Just say, No, sorry, I'm not interested..
Some guys say they gay :-) worked EVERY time.
Axélle
Just tell her thanks but you would rather not
I agree with kelly_aus, but if you don't want to be that blunt you could just say you're not looking for a relationship at the moment and you don't believe in casual sex (even if it's a lie).
Be honest and say you just don't feel that way about her. You can't help you like so therefore you can't help who you don't like. :-\ You don't have to say you find her unattractive just say you don't feel the connection.
Saying you're 'not ready for a relationship' is probably not a good thing to say because it's an obvious lie (I think it is anyway). Whether you're ready for a relationship or not if you really do like someone you adjust your life and make it work somehow. You don't wanna say that to her and then meet someone in a few weeks and starting dating them, I think either way she'll figure out it's a lie. Same with saying you're gay (unless you actually are).
Quote from: Kreuzfidel on January 21, 2012, 05:57:49 AM
I agree with kelly_aus, but if you don't want to be that blunt you could just say you're not looking for a relationship at the moment and you don't believe in casual sex (even if it's a lie).
^ this. Especially the not looking for a relationship part. Puts it simply!
If you are fairly close you could mention that she's like a sister or something along those lines. I've never had bad reactions with that.
Wait...
There's a way to let a girl down gently O.O ?
(... sorry... dry humor)
Quote from: Mr.Rainey on January 21, 2012, 03:48:27 AM
Okay so this girl has a thing for me and wants to sleep with me. I am not attracted to her and I don't really know how to tell her no without making her feel unattractive. She knows I am single so saying I am dating someone is not going to work. Help?
If you can't politely turn someone down, you're not old enough to be dating. Simple as that.
just say you dont want to sleep with her, all honest, try avoid details, if she ask future you just say something like "your only a friend" or "your not really my type" or something like that..
she might be angry or sad even if your very sweet, but you got the right to say no and its not your fault if you dont feel the same..
Quote from: Epi on January 21, 2012, 03:22:14 PM
If you can't politely turn someone down, you're not old enough to be dating. Simple as that.
Pretty sure he's early 20s. A lot of people, including older adults, have difficulty turning down people. It's not purely an age thing.
@Rainey: The others have some good suggestions. I'd probably say something like, "I appreciate the compliment/I'm flattered, but I'm just not interested in you that way."
Tell her you just want to focus on your work, school, whatever.
Quote from: Epi on January 21, 2012, 03:22:14 PM
If you can't politely turn someone down, you're not old enough to be dating. Simple as that.
Lol I am 22.
I have just never been faced with this situation, most the time girls want a boyfriend and I can truthfully say I don't want to be in a relationship. Casual sex is different because I do like it and it is pretty rare so the few times it has been offered I was up for it. I find it akward to word and it is difficult to let someone down without coming off as mean.
You do not owe anything more than a simple explanation.
As you have clearly said, you are not attracted to her. Try something like, "I am flattered/appreciate the offer, but I will decline because I am not interested in you." Just be polite and truthful.
Quote from: Mr.Rainey on January 22, 2012, 01:18:06 AM
Lol I am 22.
I have just never been faced with this situation, most the time girls want a boyfriend and I can truthfully say I don't want to be in a relationship. Casual sex is different because I do like it and it is pretty rare so the few times it has been offered I was up for it. I find it akward to word and it is difficult to let someone down without coming off as mean.
I think it would be meaner to build her hopes up of being in a relationship.
There is nothing terrible in telling a person that you like them but you don't want a sexual relationship with them. How will you feel if you have a sexual relationship and then drop her?
I don't think Epi was necessarily focusing on chronological age. I know a guy who is pushing seventy who isn't old enough to date. Well, in my opinion.
I know better than to have sex and leave someone. If I am hooking up I make sure she knows it is just a hookup because I am not a douche waffle.
Sorry, I wasn't intending to be rude, it came out a lot worse than I meant. My apologies
Cindy
Quote from: Mr.Rainey on January 21, 2012, 03:48:27 AM
Okay so this girl has a thing for me and wants to sleep with me. I am not attracted to her and I don't really know how to tell her no without making her feel unattractive. She knows I am single so saying I am dating someone is not going to work. Help?
Just say you aren't interested
Lol, douche waffle.
I just tell people I don't have the time or the emotional space for any kind of meaningful and reciprocal relationship. It tends to work a lot better than just avoiding the person, or reassuring them that they are good (which can lead them on).
A simple "I don't feel we are compatible, but I'm flattered that you like me and find me attractive" will do. Just be firm in your position, but don't be rude and abrasive. It's best overall if you're calm, respectful, and kind. If she's hurt, that's understandable. If she lashes out or tries to press the issue, calmly exit the situation and hold your ground if she continues to pursue you. If your answer is no, it should remain as such. Don't get her hopes up with a "maybe" or "I'll think about it", because that's just cruel and does not deter the person you are trying to let down. I don't know how close you are to her, or if you are even friends, so my advice stops there. D: