This is a thought, that was put in my head by my mother after she complimented me the other day during some lovely mother daughter bonding time.
She mentioned to me that she cant believe that I was ever a boy. She said the way I act, dress and the way generally present myself to the world. She said, she can tell I am very happy. She also said, i have matured into a lovely young woman. She also told me, that I am basically a twin of her when she was my age.. as I inherited my mothers body shape. I have the same, what women call child bearing hips and my breasts are shaped the same as hers. We actually both wear a D cup. She loves how effortlessly I glide in a pair of high heels and how girly I am. .Hopefully I will age as well as she did.
Anyways... that conversion got me thinking... I am also a little surprised with myself when it comes to the following 3 things
1. How outgoing I became since I went full time.. i went from a shy boy to a woman that is the life of the party. I love getting out and enjoying life.. I even got a few tattoos and some body piercings (navel, nose and multiple holes in my ears). I even got a close circle of friends
2. That I would marry a man, I always assumed I would be lesbian and never gave it any thought. I was surprised when I started being attracted to men.. When I started dating my first boyfriend, I was surprised how I loved it when he kissed me or held me. As a boy, I was into girls and I always related better with women (suppose since i was one inside a mans body... this makes sense)
3. That I can get broody, two of my close friends now have kids. I have gotten very broody.. (I cant walk into a baby store.. everything is so cute) I would love to be a mother and my husband and I are on the adoption list (just waiting for a mother to choose us).. but I would also love to be pregnant with my husbands child, my friends tell me being pregnant can be uncomfortable, but its a magical experience especially when you feel the child move inside you.. They say giving birth hurts like hell, but the bundle of joy you get out of the experience is worth it. I am watching the literature, where they are testing womb and uterus transplants, but no trans woman is part of testing due to ethical concerns.. If they had to allow this in trans woman, and I was still young enough, I would go for it in a heart beat. I know a womb and uterus does not define a woman, but for me it would really complete my transition. It would mean periods and tracking ovulation.. but It would mean my hubby would be able to get me pregnant.
Are you surprised or learnt something about yourself during your transition..
I was on HRT just over 2 years when I began to recover my memories of the sexual and psychological trauma I experienced as a child. Realizing the things I was experiencing had nothing to do with transgender Gender Dysphoria, but rather that my mind had created a female alter to protect me from the trauma, my doctor changed my diagnosis to Dissociative Identity Disorder and referred me for trauma recovery therapy. Four years into therapy my doctors realized the peace I experienced with HRT came from Chemical Castration. That I could NEVER perpetrate the atrocities committed against me to children of my own. My mind was finally safe, knowing once and for all, the cycle of abuse ended with me.
Hello Noleen
The surprise on HRT for me was the speed at which these three aspects happened:
1. Erections ceased immediately (although that could be due mainly to my age)
2. Softer smooth skin on my body
3. Testicular Reduction
I think this will be an interesting thread. Thank you for initiating it.
Hugs
Pamela
I don't know. I haven't changed much other than my mom and sister confronting me about wearing makeup, short dresses and of course my growing hair.. Everything is very artificial I think I've just accepted that as reality. Maybe I'll enjoy my life and for one I do feel more truthful to myself. Also, feeling more content overall physically in my body is nice. I don't feel repulsed looking at myself in the mirror...as much.
I guess that's a good start for me?
Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk
Hello Noleen
First off I'd like to congratulate you for what sounds like to me like a near perfect transition to have your own mother feel the way she does about you. It's almost like you should be the poster child for a successful transition that all of us would love.
I personally am age 56 and just started HRT 2 and 1/2 months ago.
And surprise is a little bit of an understatement for the way I feel now it's more like shocking.
The Mental effects have been so very strong it's going to be a little hard to put down into words how it feels. In a nutshell it's like I was just barely existing in a black and white world that now turned into Vivid color. I now have hope for the future where before I had none. All the things that I lost like happiness, sleep, hunger, enjoyment and hobbies are returning to me. All these things make it feel like I'm starting a whole new life after about a half a century of keeping it closeted up tight.
My health has radically improved mainly to getting six to seven and a half hours of continuous sleep a day when sometimes I wouldn't get that in a week or even a month at my worst.
This is now a pivot point in my life where I care about my health and I'm really looking forward to writing a new exciting chapter to my life.
My physical changes so far have been pretty slight compared to the magnitude of the mental ones.
The first one was that every bit of my skin from my toe to earlobe was smoother. And a little over a week ago I noticed that it felt like two small alligator clips are clipped onto my nipples.
And now when I close my eyes and peer into the blackness all the staticky grinding sensation is completely gone, this is absolutely wonderful for me and probably results with my improved sleep that makes me feel like I've got energy to burn now and have become functional again.
I'll end it there, and could probably talk about this all day because even at this early stage it completely changed my life around.
Thanks for starting this thread, Noleen it really made me appreciate even more where I'm at now.
Love Tatiana
What surprised me after I started HRT was that I was able to attend and finish my senior year of high school and I even got top marks.
It mellowed me out knowing I was doing something and relieved some of my hysteria/anxiety. Toward the end of my junior year when I looked like and was passing as a girl everywhere else but was known by a boy's name in school, I just didn't think I could do it anymore and wasn't planning on going back because it was just too hard on me emotionally and psychologically.
This was really one of the darkest times in my life. I was in a lot of pain, depressed, suicidal and withdrawn and how my parents didn't just shoot me, I'll never know? I was not pleasant to be around and quite the raging little bitch monster and they forced me to go talk to a doctor when I really didn't want to. I'd been talking to doctors since I was 10 years old but at this point, even I recognized I was in trouble so I caved in. (It really wasn't optional, I just like to think of it that way)
That's when I was officially diagnosed for the first time. I was 17. That was 1972. I started HRT at the beginning of summer break after my junior year and found out I could talk to this doctor and he understood. He helped to convince me I just had to make it nine more months until graduation and then no one would ever have to know me as a boy again. Never masculine in the first place, my body quickly took to estrogen and knowing that things were underway and there was a goal in sight, I felt I could go back to school especially since I felt I was getting prettier and curvier every day. My spirits were lifted and I somehow managed to be functional enough to tough it out. I don't think I would have made it without being on HRT. My surprise was that I did.
I only tried it for a few weeks,
the effects were striking.
I felt fantastic.
later I found out that I have a DNA disorder where if there is testosterone floating around in me, it causes my body to dump the B vitamins something like 50 times faster than normal people.
so I tested this idea, at first did it wrong because my body does not convert regular B vitamins into the usable form (another DNA error), but when I took things like methyl B12, it gave me the same sense of well being that I had got from the HRT. I did test, and it was the testosterone blockers that did it. Further looking into medical studies showed that for a brain to turn male, it needs some chemical (that I forget its name) to be methylated. So the entire transgender thing with me appears to be the C677T error I have. Still not sure how that interacts with the other DNA error dealing with the B vitamins.
anyway, would have never found out all this if I had not tried the HRT
What surprised me is that how quickly my body feminized :D. Two weeks in HRT, I've already felt my nipples budding and has been bothering me because it's so sensitive than ever. Well, during puberty, I never got to develop Adam's apple, my voice is already feminine and I have girly thighs and legs with not much body hair and lacking of facial hair. The only masculine feature I've developed was this pesky brow ridge and the fat distribution on my face - buccal fat building up more in my lower face.
So I guess the HRT already jump started and made the feminine engine running more inside of me. A month in HRT, my friends would compliment that I have this glow on my face. I was shocked because I never get to notice that. I was worried at the earlier phases of doing HRT because I had small pimple outbreaks on my forehead but I think that was perhaps more of a genetic flush manifested by the change in overall chemistry in the body. Eventually, the fat on my face redistributed and has been focused more on the cheeks so I get these puffy round cheeks when I smile. Looking into the mirror, I'm still flabbergasted at how amazing HRT does to our body. I don't have much curvy hips so kinda looking forward to have my body fat distributed there and add some more in my ass eventually.
I've started HRT like April 2017 and have been on and off. Currently on HRT for 2 months consecutive now. The only thing I've noticed when I'm on hormone break is my intensified increase in libido - like literally can orgasm 5 times/day. Now on HRT, I can only do it twice. Ahhh the wonders of biochem!
Hello again Noleen
I've remembered another HRT surprise.
4. Foot size reduction
Hugs
Pamela
The biggest change I experienced was the remarkable calm and clarity of thought that I gained once the testosterone levels dropped well below the 'male' range. I've compared the effect in the past to having a beehive buzzing in the back of my mind, or living next door to someone with an obnoxious car alarm that is constantly sounding (and which they upgraded to a louder model every year or two!)
When the testosterone was gone, I regained the mental "quiet" that I had when I was 10-11 years old, while of course still having all my adult skills and tools available. This was worth everything I've gone through, and this, along with being able to be my authentic self, is what has made me happiest for the last 2-plus years.
Estradiol just put the cherry on top. :)
Quote from: Michelle_P on September 28, 2018, 10:04:11 AM
The biggest change I experienced was the remarkable calm and clarity of thought that I gained once the testosterone levels dropped well below the 'male' range. I've compared the effect in the past to having a beehive buzzing in the back of my mind, or living next door to someone with an obnoxious car alarm that is constantly sounding (and which they upgraded to a louder model every year or two!)
When the testosterone was gone, I regained the mental "quiet" that I had when I was 10-11 years old, while of course still having all my adult skills and tools available. This was worth everything I've gone through, and this, along with being able to be my authentic self, is what has made me happiest for the last 2-plus years.
Estradiol just put the cherry on top. :)
Michelle, That sounds wonderful. Good for you.
I was always a mild-mannered guy. A push over. A milquetoast (which I have actually been called and later learned in the dictionary that is a euphemism for sissy).
Now I am much more likely to confront. I can go from zero to bitch in no time flat.