Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi
I think I may like to share a few posts with you guys on my progress issues and generally my life as it progresses.

Summary so far;

55 years old and cant remember a time I didn't feel different..
Married 25 years and separated  start of March 18.
2 beautiful sons 17 and 20
Best friend is my separated wife -  very few friends since I have always internalised my 'gift' and avoided detection wherever possible until last year
HRT about 4 and a bit months I think (see timer below)

So, not posted anything in last couple of months as I couldn't use PC as I had both (yes both) eye lenses replaced due to cataracts, and due to a rotation of one of them had to undergo repair surgery earlier this week. But I can see now so that's good.

Situation with my best friend is that we are both active in bringing up our kids and that is where my main personal issues lie.

No 1 son has said he understands my transition and wishes me well, but today he admitted that he cant take the separation from my ex-wife at all.. not good
No2 son seems on the fence but he openly stated he doesn't like it to my ex-wife (we live separated atm)

So I'm getting my head around that one (or two).

Personally, I'm really good , T is so low they cant read it, E is 364 whatevers per ml, which is a bit low but has really changed my body a lot.

I am internally very happy and smile a lot - cry a lot at films and worry a lot about my nails which seem to break off every time I work on the bike or car,,, grrr

Weight loss has stopped. That's bad, lost 32 lb (was 40 but put weight on during the 2 months of surgery as I cant work out at all) need to loose another 32.. am 210 a the moment.

Finally my local Gender clinic has received the letter from my Doctor so I hope that I will get a positive response from them this week, but its 2 to 2.5 years for the first appointment here in the UK at my local centre..(that's why I have gone private initially as I couldn't stand waiting that long and then the 1 to 2 years real life experience required before getting hormones - 'What the Hell' I hear you cry - that's the UK regime at the moment as far as I understand)

Well that's enough from me - avidly reading loads of others life threads which to be honest are more exciting than mine.

Lot of love and Hugz
Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Hi Katie,

I am sorry your sons are having difficulty adjusting. Perhaps having them plan out visits and activities and placing it on a calendar would help.

I understand the loss and pain of losing your family so make sure you do things to support yourself too.

Hi, Katie.  Thanks for posting your update.

Congrats on getting your eyes back!  They are so important, and we tend to take them for granted until they don't work.

I am glad that things are mostly good for you.  Sorry to hear that your sons are having difficulties accepting the situation.  I'm guessing that they will come around with time.

Yeah, the British system!  ::)  I am Canadian, but I have a British birth certificate, so I get to deal with your wonderful bureaucracy for that.  I don't envy you, having to deal with it for all your transition needs.

Hi Katie,

Give your sons some time.  I'm sure it's hard for them to reimagine you, but at the end of the day I suspect they love very, very much. That will show at some point.  Best of luck to you going forward.

Its been over a year and my 3 kids are still a bit unsure , nails are a pain as work on cars as a job and keep breaking them. Still waiting on NHS as well might get an appointment later this year???

Hope the kids come around. We are dealing with her boys and they are dead set against me. Always breaking , splitting or peeling nails. It is a bummmer. Waits here can be stupid, supposedly the next doc I have to see is about 30 months wait time for an appointment. Then the waits for surgery after that. I could have body parts fall off quicker from old age. Lol

Nice to hear from you again Katie.

I am glad you have your eyes back and can read and post again if you wish.

I am sorry to hear of your sons' reactions but hopefully they will accept in time.

Wonderful that your HRT is progressing well; like you I am with GenderGP and have recent set up "Shared Agreement" with NHSGP and GenderGP.

I wish you every happiness on your journey and with your family.

Hugs

Pamela

Thanks all for your kind comments and best wishes, I really appreciate them - Hugz all.

Quick update;
Sons getting better with me in that my youngest came over for tea the other day, ate and drank, and gave me a big hug before he left. Was quite overcome with that and felt so heart warmed for a long time.
Argued via text with my elder brother as my brothers still don't want me to tell my parents as they aren't in too good health, so I'm in a bad place as I don't want to hurt them but very very soon my male persona will be gone and they will never see him again without knowing why, as I wouldn't be able to visit them , nor they me. I cant win either way. So anyway I told my elder brother 'goodbye' after his last rant. My younger brother has rung and left a message wanting to patch things up. It will be a long time before that happens, no one calls this girl out in the way my elder Bro did. >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
Still Younger bro is really nice, so Ill call him back in a few days when I have cooled off ..

Out to another person at work. One of my engineering section leaders was over today, and she is so nice, even chose to work for me from her home site in Sweden, than work for some of the Swedish managers a while ago (she thinks I'm very good and care a lot for my engineers.. female empathy?? don't know but I have just taken another girl Engineer on.... I'm all for that, but she was good and really full of potential and willing to work for it).
Anyway back to the thread, found a private meeting room, and gently told her of the confidentiality of what I needed to discuss and that she should understand in a minute, then into my 30 sec monologue in to me as a transgender woman. She was so supportive and really made me almost weep with her comments about how strong I must be to do this and that I should just try to be as happy a person as I could be. She commented that she had noticed my long hair (4inches or so) and wondered why. We chatted for 10 mins  then then had a big hug (told her not too tight please at which she laughed and said she knew why..).
As she is a very intelligent woman, more so than me (I'm a manager now so that's understandable..) she was going to research a bit so she could understand better, and I said she could call me if she needed to discuss but that I'm not an expert, but it would be good to talk anyway. She was concerned over my expectations (negative) about coming out at work and said it didn't really matter to most people, just seemed it was an issue most of all to me and I shouldn't worry (I am natural worrier ..)
So that was really good.
I'm getting to a place in my head where I need to stop messing around and procrastinating and properly start to live my life. Loads of things to cope with but we all have those anyway, so nothing really stopping me except me, again.

Well that's me for a bit (Id post photos but  not found how to do that yet)

Best of luck and love to you all

Hugz
Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Well another nice day today.
Had Ex and youngest son over for tea, not before I has done all the cleaning, washing and ironing for the week though. Back to 'drab' mode (Boy mode, so youngest was comfortable) for tea, not happy about that but was only for a couple of hours as he had to get back to his computer...
Also minor progress, out to take rubbish out and water garden as me (every night this week well before sunset). Garden is overlooked by about 6 other houses (UK houses are generally squashed together as we have too many people in the country) but starting not to care.
My good friend Tina and I have planned my first big outing on my birthday in a few weeks. to Manchester in advance of the' Sparkle' TG events there so I can get a feel for the area. I know the area a bit as I did my Masters Degree at MMU near to within 100 yards of Canal Street which is the centre for LGBT+ in Manchester. I got my masters in 1998 and so much has changed, especially for us girls. I so love that city as its almost my home, being born 12 miles south of it, and working on its outskirts for 12 years, well its the nearest one anyway.
Event will include going on public trains to Manchester, Walking to safer zones, then lunch (Molly house maybe), off for shopping (First time as me), maybe some more shopping, a couple of drinks at cafes and then back via public transport - hope my makeup lasts that long..

Anyway my significant Ex brought my baby girl dog over tonight (well she is 11 years old but she's still a puppy to me) after she has been to groomers today (so miss her, but Ex won her on a coin flip...) - still don't know how to embed pictures here or Id post a pic of her - I have several pics already I need to do that with...

So, Im feeling better within myself and looking forward with some trepidation to my day out.

Oh, and for some reason I have lost 1.5 or so inches off my height, so 5 foot 11 now, not been that height since I was about 15.. Don't worry I will check with Doc next time I see Him.

Hope you all well, and keep going girls and boys,

Hugz
Katie
:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Hi
Todays update is that I sort of went out on my own for the first time. Day off work so got up and took 2 hrs to get ready (cant take this long when full time but I suppose that will come with practice). Just went for it, and drove to Litchfield which is a local town , about 30 mins away with the full intention of scouting the cathedral/coffee. However, my eye (those who read my recent posts now I have has cataract surgery on both eyes, the left one requiring remedial work) on the left started to fog up and ache which isn't a good sign. Maybe my lens has rotated again... I hope not. So I drove home a scenic route and stopped off at a local reservoir where I hoped to get an Ice Cream (always used to stop here when I was on motorcycle outings in this area) but no Ice Cream van today as its only 19C and feeling chilly after the last several days of good weather in the East Midlands UK. Took a few pics of me (most were rubbish and were deleted) and Ill post one if I can figure out how to.. in fact I will put as new avatar anyway.
So feeling really good and much more confident now, maybe this is me getting back into the groove of getting out there again after 2 months of eye issues. Small steps..
Talk soon.
Hugz
Katie

Hello anyone reading this :)
Well eyes was good today. Eldest son has money problems at University... but he's got a job for the summer in Leicester (His Uni city) so hopefully he wont have to come 'cap in hand' for another indefinite loan.
Phoned Gender Identity Clinic at Nottingham and they finally recognised that I have been referred, so Ill expect a letter soon saying that I'm on the list, along with a notification of the 24 month wait for an appointment. No wonder I'm going private...
Still my INR is all over the place at the moment (on Warfarin for Pulmonary Embolisms I had 8 years ago) so they want to make sure something else isn't up. So full bloods next week and also having E and T done again at the same time, a bit early but I'm OK with that. I'm feeling a bit like a pin cushion..
Not certain of my AA injection is wearing off as I definitely feel a bit aggressive at work (which is unusual for me anyway)and, how should I say, randy? No morning surprises though which is good as they would really kick in the GD.
Anyway, final bit tonight, the IPL marks are still there from Friday along with several spots bumps etc. And that was on lowest setting. Unfortunately I cant have that level of facial disfigurement at work so I don't know what I am going to do about hair removal. Its a bit of  an issue with me at the moment. And I cant take a week off to recover either for each session.
Maybe a different laser would help, I don't know. Was a real mess first session, but luckily was off work the following week. I can stand the pain but as Im not out at work, then such a messy face for a week or two every month will take some explaining. Ill have a think.
So that's today,
he world keeps tuning,
Love you all
Katie
:angel: :angel: :angel: :'( :'( :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Oh, and will change the avatar as the one in my fur lined Parka coat isn't particularly cheering.

Hi everybody,
Well, solution to IPL facial damage: I have bought another 3 days holiday this year (so lower take home pay...) so I can have a week off (2 weekends so 9 days at a time as IPL on Fridays) after being zapped for 3 more sessions. Hopefully the markings will reduce so I can cancel a few days from some of these holidays. This means I can only have a total of 4 sessions this year. Obviously that's isn't good but Im doing what I can, and hopefully it will clear a lot of the issues, then maybe onto electrolysis and start to remove small areas at a time which I can hopefully cover, and as I'm probably being a lot closer to coming out at work, after which I wouldn't care as they would know what was going on. Keeping in my current work at my level  is very important to me as I have a 140k+ mortgage over the next 10 years due to my separation agreement and I have to pay that or I'm out on the streets as it were.
I know other are very much worse off, and my wishes are with them all, but its my view on my life.
And my eldest son has the mumps at 20... quite worried for him at the moment. Talk on that later.
Take care and have fun (TC and HF)

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :police: :police: :angel: :angel:

 Hi Katie,

  I have just caught up on your thread. It is good to see at least one of your son's is willing to come visit with you and that you and your ex are on good terms. It can hurt so much when family have issues about us. Take care of those eyes girl, they are important you know. I am also glad to see you are venturing out. That is how we get used to being ourselves in public and that my dear is very important. The more we can do that the easier it becomes for us.
  Keep up what you are doing and you will be fine.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Quote from: Laurie on June 07, 2018, 07:35:54 PM

  Keep up what you are doing and you will be fine.

Thanks Laurie, your support is always welcome as Im sure you know (Hugz).

Anyway today I went back to the laser clinic to show them a few pictures of the spots and stuff over the last few days. She was a bit horrified as this was done with the standard settings. She has been doing IPL and this sort of stuff for 30 years and has only had one similar result, for a girl of ethnic back ground who had been out in the sun a lot. I have qute pale skin so she didn't expect such a result. Needless to say she wants to solve this so the machine was reset on super sensitive (level or 12.6 rather than 15 - normal- or 15.4 which my first session was done at). Hurt a lot less, so lets see what happens... If I could find out how to post pictured here then Id show you the far side of my chin (Genesis reference) and the craters/impact zone. Nothing much else to do, its been a long week, Im tired and really don't want to do the ironing or bathroom/kitchen/toilet cleaning .. that will be early tomorrow.

Ooh Ohh I forgot - eye update, as I don't think I told you about  seeing my consultant on the evening of the 6th. Ex-partner gave me a lift so the consultant could put eyedrops in my eyes if he needed to (Ex is such a sweetie). Anyway I had done some research and I though I had some hypertension coming and going. He tested and said that that seemed to be it. So, I have pills and even more eyedrops (as well as the 3 currently being used), but guess what - I can see for miles and miles and miles and miles (The Who reference). Eyes still get dry, but hopefully the trauma will heal up in my eye and this will stop the issue (I have 2 weeks worth of pills). It will play havoc with my INR levels but a least we have the issue known and can start to do something about it. And soon Ill be able to put eyeshadow on both my eyes  (it looks silly on only one eye lol....).

Love you and leave you (for now, Ill be back..)

Hugz
Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Catching up with posting pictures;

My Lovely dog  :-* :-*who lives with my Ex (sobs quietly);
(https://i.imgur.com/ESr81Ur.jpg)

This was the second laser test on the 1st of June - Picture taken on the 2nd of June
(https://i.imgur.com/3fRKyFE.png)

Note that this was 5 strips only. Imagine what my face looked like after the first session 6 weeks ago, 60+ strips done at level 15.4.... Its a good job I was not in work the following week, but it did test the strength of my nails as I clung to the ceiling.... Funnily enough I didn't have that reaction to the original test at level 15... ??? ???

Finally for now the picture this morning after yesterdays test at 12.6. Note the red marks you can see are the remnants of last weeks test No2. This still hurt but not as much. I cant see any reaction at all. which is great so we need to find a level that we can work at, until then no more laser sessions only tests, which is OK with me as I have some trans events coming up.

(https://i.imgur.com/BQsAWgT.png)

So there we are. Weekend good so far;
Last night walked to the post box which is about 1/3 of a mile away, but it was dark, and I posted the wrong letter  it seems so I have had to post the correct ones on my way to pick up my eldest son  :-* from University (he has the mumps  :o despite being vaccinated twice in his lifetime against it - MMR injection and a pre University start one). He really does look like a hamster,
No reaction to Laser
Bought another tartan skirt and straightening irons for my hair which is getting unruly as its now almost 6" long (you can see a bit from my last picture). Gets in my eyes as well so I'm seriously going to properly learn how to control it and make it look nice. All this despite some MPB - some signs of regrowth due to hair treatment, but I will need a transplant.
And posting some pics..  ;D

All done then and hopefully you can see my pictures.

Hugz all
Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel:

Hi all
Quick update. helped ex get our spare car (We both half own it, Vauxhall Corsa 'C' c.30k miles) out of the garage as it wouldn't start, just fires a couple of times then dies. She has Home-Start with one of the breakdown companies, who came today and they couldn't get it started, fuel - OK, coils - OK, crank sensor OK, nothing on the auto diagnostics either. The relay for the ECU was running a bit hot though, that was swapped but still the same. So defeated the engineer then, he recommends getting the ECU checked out at a garage, at £400 replacement cost the part is 1/3 of the cost of the car let alone with fitting costs...
Anyhow I had Sunday lunch (Roast Pork) at the Ex's as no time to cook anything for myself then went home only to be invited back for a BBQ in the late afternoon. Ill be gaining weight at this rate...
Still it was good to see my sons who were both chatty, and laughing, so those relationships are getting better.
Also agreed to meet my brothers next week, which is a necessity as we are talking over support for our parents and powers of attorney etc, but the atmosphere will probably be high in tension as we aren't on good speaking terms. I will be gracious and as forgiving as I can be, after all this is about people who are very precious to me.
Had another invite to go shopping on Friday afternoon in Manchester, but I'm having full bloods and hormone levels checked so cant - it would be too late to get there for it to be useful or fun.
Looking forward to my next support group meeting on this Thursday, I haven't been for a couple of months due to not being able to night drive with my eyes.   
Ill see if I can pop in a couple of pics this week as well as I think I'm looking more like me all the time :)
Take Care
Hugz
Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Katie,

Is that a Sheltie?  Beautiful dogs.  I miss mine so much.  Lost her a few years back at the age of 16.

Stevi

Hi Stevi

Quote from: Stevi on June 11, 2018, 03:53:29 PM
Katie,

Is that a Sheltie?  Beautiful dogs.  I miss mine so much.  Lost her a few years back at the age of 16.

Stevi

No she is a full pedigree rough collie, gorgeous dog and temperament and I love her so much. I like shelties as well of course.
Hugz
Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel:

Posted on "Positive Mindset... put away negativity" but included here for completeness;

"Hi Everybody

This is such good reading and makes me ponder a lot of the negative things in my life at the moment.

Taking succour from the many pearls of earned wisdom in this thread, upon reflection I find that my issues needn't be negative, and its as if I'm holding onto them in this manner for some (stupid) reason.
So I have confronted my pride and such like with regards to my brothers, and I am meeting them tomorrow, to not only sort out how we will look after my parents in the future, (and I will want a big part in that despite living some distance from them) but also to offer a big free olive branch to them and not be as arrogant with them as I have been.
I'm not the same person any more that caused the argument, and I need for them to see that and to accept me as the person I am becoming.
I realise I have so much baggage from thinking male for so long.
Well that's me - ill post this in my thread as well anyway.
Take care
Hugz
Katie
:angel:"

And also starting painting the house again now that eyes have settled down.

Katie

This is a nice read. Glad your moving along so well. I find writing the good and the bad is so good for the mind. Have a wonderful day and enjoy life

Quote from: Donna on June 17, 2018, 10:05:57 AM
This is a nice read. Glad your moving along so well. I find writing the good and the bad is so good for the mind. Have a wonderful day and enjoy life

That's very nice of you to say. This is a journey with winter storms as well as sunny summer days. Both should be appreciated as that is what life is about, overcoming adversity and becoming that better person.
Best of luck in your journey - Make sure yo have as much fun and happiness as possible

Hugz

Katie
:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: >:-) :angel: :angel: :angel:

Another post in "Positive Mindset... put away negativity", added here for completeness;

Quote from: Allison S on June 17, 2018, 05:14:45 PM

I guess I'm realistic, I know I live in a cloudy  world and when it shines, it's not so bad. [emoji4]

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

Very true but should read the other way round - its a shiny world and there are clouds sometimes but we know it will be shiny again soon. We just help them get out of the way.

To illustrate this point, I have been trying to get agreement with my brothers about telling my parents that I'm their daughter etc etc. We had the meeting tonight as in a previous post from me, and we sorted out power of attorney blah blah blah to look after my parents and what their new 'Will' entailed. All nice and caring stuff and we all agreed on sharing all the responsibility with veto over financial actions.
Then at the end they cleared the table of coffee cups plates etc, which surprised me as they aren't domestically minded... and told me that as Mum and Dad were concerned about me and my recent erratic behaviour (I can admit I have been gently stirring things slowly to get progress on telling M&D), they had decided to act without me there (As they didn't know how I would react) and gently went through everything I had told them about my 50 years of denial, self abuse, alcohol, stealing, suicide attempts GD etc and gave them more info off the web as well. Surprisingly to me my Mum said she wasn't surprised, Dad took it in but wasn't particularly happy (he's too old school) but it seems one parent is on my side at least. Dad wouldn't take  calls from me to wish him happy Fathers day last weekend, now I know why.
I cried in the pub for about 30 minutes, although a bit upset they didn't tell me, I could understand why. OMG, the millstone around my neck suddenly got so very much lighter. They have also told my nephews and nieces, all of which twigged very quickly and were OK with it all especially the girls.
So, I should have trusted those that love me more and not be so wary of asking for help, in this case it was given without my consent but Im OK with that fully, in these circumstances. Mum wants to come down and see me very soon and they (one brother or another) will bring her in a few weeks.

So, for this thread, it seems that for me I need to be more accepting and trusting and not to expect the worst outcome always. If it happens it happens and you deal with it, but go for it with a smile (I did a lot of that between the sobs) and people will warm to you.

My brothers didn't know what to expect (hence clearing table) but it seems a possibility was for me to be angry at them, I told them I'm not like that any more. Mind you I did sit there and watch them both eat enormous charred Gammon steaks 2 eggs and chips (still a favourite of mine..), which was annoying as I had already had my lean chicken breast salad at home, and I was crying and salivating at the same time - not a pretty sight - but I did refuse several offers of chips (French Fries) as I really am going to loose weight this time.

So posting this on my thread as well, but I am realising that those negative thoughts about how people will react are just thoughts, and should be let go, people can and usually do respond in wonderful ways to help us.

Enough from me anyway (excuse spelling as I'm still blowing nose...)
Hugz
Katie  "

Enjoy as my life is becoming more possible daily
Hugz
Katie

@Katie Again 
Dear Katie:   A really good thing that you are doing is writing about your thoughts, your issues, your troubles... and your good times too. 

Making the effort and using our thought process to write it down is in itself a form of very good personal therapy.  It allows us to ponder these issues and life circumstances and to figure out how to overcome the difficulties.   A Pessimist may just give up and wallow in their sorrow, but an Optimistic person, a glass half full person, will look at problems as a challenge to succeed and overcome in an otherwise apparent despairing situation.

I will hopefully not bore you with my favorite Winston Churchill quote that is always at the top of my mind... I am certain that you have seen where I have posted it many times.
    "A Pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity,
      An Optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty."

Obviously there may be times in our lives that it is much easier to say the quote than to apply it to our life but in reality it is our "glass half full mindset" that will help see us through our difficulties in life. 

Not only do I write out and share my life endeavors on my Forum thread here but also I keep a personal pen and paper journal complete with doodling for my more private thoughts and dilemmas.   I have kept a personal journal since my school days and every once in a while, on a rainy day, it is quite an eye opener to read what I had written, sometimes years ago, and then realize that I can indeed overcome what seemed at the time to be a hopeless situation. 

If you are not keeping a personal journal other that your thread, I would encourage you to start one... particularly so since you are in your transition journey.

Keep posting and keep updating your thread...  your followers want to know !!!
Hugs,
Daniellel

Danielle
Thanks for your comments.  I dont keep a journal at all ever as I used to have too many ups and downs and didn't want to remember the downs. I'm doing a 'journal' on here as I think it may benefit others not just me, as my personality and mood swings become more crystallised and less stormy and I become more of the person I want to/should always have been. I will never be a full physical woman but that's OK, at my age many have has hysterectomies and such like, worse they have had much more exposure to breast cancer. I am like 50 years short of socialisation but I'm always a good listener (make friends  quick that way on occasion).
On the quotes;
"Life is for the living, and death lasts forever, enjoy this existence before the next" some hippy saying I read once in the 70's...

Hard but true.

BTW Love your superb smile btw and your suitor #3 (quiet) pic, love the dress and he was certainly taking it seriously...


Take care and love more (everyone can)
Hugz
Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Katie

It is wonderful to read that you have come out to your parents albeit unknown to you at the precise time, and that your Mum accepts you.

I am sorry you are having problems with your dad but give him time and he may come round in due course. Parents are often the most difficult to understand how we feel as some feel they are losing a son (in their eyes) rather than gaining a daughter.

I am glad you are feeling upbeat and that your transition is progressing well.

I wish you continued happiness.

Hugs

Pamela

OK, Side issue is that unknown to me my eldest Brothers father in law succumbed to bone cancer weekend before last , and so his family are really shook up. I have known his Father in law (and in fact my brothers wife) all my life as he was a good friend of my fathers and we holidayed a lot together in the late 60s and 70s. Lovely kind man. I am even more surprised for my eldest brother to make time to see me last night. So he has a lot on his plate at this time and still has time for me. Makes me feel so stupid at my previous arrogance. Anyway that's gone now anyway and the fog of mistrust has lifted for me.
I left a text message for Mum to call me and talk when she feels the time is right, as I still don't know everything my brothers said to my parents. However my parents want to meet up soon, at a half way house , and with my brother s and ex-wife there as well, possibly next week or the week after. Maybe I will get one of those gammon steaks after all... but back to the real meaning of this post. I think my mum is doing as all good women do and that is talk sense into their men, so maybe Dad wants to just see me and talk a little, and maybe Mum a lot more.
Personally I cant wait to see them, whatever their questions, doubts and reservations. and I will meet them with a big happy smile on my face for certain.

Life goes on, I'm trying to keep pace with it :)

Take care and see you soon

Katie

(Hugz)

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :D :D :angel: :angel: :angel:

Quote from: pamelatransuk on June 19, 2018, 05:58:43 AM
I am glad you are feeling upbeat and that your transition is progressing well.
I wish you continued happiness.

Hugs

Pamela

Pamela thanks for your kind words. They help a lot. Its all going a bit quick for me at the moment. Just work and the world to come out to now I think...

My posts seem to be 'warts and all' but that's how it is sometimes. It should help anyone reading that is in this situation to see that there are ways through, (I hope its a good outcome for me but in my heart I know it will be).

Thanks again for the Hugs

You can have Hugz back from me.

Take care Hugz all as well
Katie
:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D :angel: :angel: :angel:

Hi again.
OK, latest update, no phone call from Mum, but date set for us to meet up - same place a last time with my Brothers.
So will be meeting them (in drab as my old self / new mind) on the evening of the 4th of July. US Independence day, no less. Seems like a bit of a coincidence I suppose as I will forever change my parents view of me face to face on that day. I will gain my independence in many ways I feel, but probably wont go on to be the most powerful state in the world, so similarities (if there are any) end there.
Incidentally Best wished for all you guys and girls in USA land on the 4th, have fun :)
Should be going out as me with a friend next Friday to Manchester for a walk round during the day (first proper event of that kind for me) as a birthday treat. If I can remember to get some photos I will paste and good ones anyway. Weather forecast is hot and breezy, not good wig weather I think. Ill have to get a heads scarf or something to keep it under control. I really need a light jacket of some kind as well. better get shopping then.
Ta-taa for now.
Hugz
Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Good luck on trip out, enjoy. Hope it goes well with your mum XXXXXX

Quote from: davina61 on June 22, 2018, 03:09:34 PM
Good luck on trip out, enjoy. Hope it goes well with your mum XXXXXX

Thank you for your wishes Davina, every bit helps

Hugz
Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D

Hope all goes well with your mum. Mine was super and I didn't tell anyone on my side until after I told mom. I didn't want anyone spilling the beans by accident. My wife with my permission informed her side and it's been 98% great.

Quote from: Donna on June 23, 2018, 11:14:32 AM
Hope all goes well with your mum. Mine was super and I didn't tell anyone on my side until after I told mom. I didn't want anyone spilling the beans by accident. My wife with my permission informed her side and it's been 98% great.

Dear Donna
Sounds like you have the ideal Mom there, look after her more than ever. Good to see you have had a really positive response, I bet that made you really glow inside. Go girl Go :)

As an aside, and I'm not certain if I can post this here so any Mod please remove if not suitable, but I was gently massaging my 'chest' as we all should do I think,  (Lymph node clearing etc etc) and quite quickly my body generally felt very very different and very very nice. It was somewhat intoxicating, and I think maybe I was starting to get some sort of female arousal. No male response at all, but a very deep, but mild sort of body resonance. I could do with more of that I think. Never had anything so sensual as male at all, as a male it was (when it worked) just centred between the legs. This was quite a revelation to me I think. Am I wrong or is this sort of stuff to be expected? Any way of building on this  or just keep going..?

Hugz
Katie

??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ??? ??? ??? ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel:

Try stroking inner thighs as well, works for me

Once your mind and body switch and lean toward female morw it moves from the physical male urge and drive to the female emotional attraction at least the way it's been described to me. Men are about getting it done and women are about the journey to getting it done. I could never understand that before when my wife tried to explain it but it sure makes sense now.

Quote from: Donna on June 23, 2018, 04:16:14 PM
Once your mind and body switch and lean toward female morw it moves from the physical male urge and drive to the female emotional attraction at least the way it's been described to me. Men are about getting it done and women are about the journey to getting it done. I could never understand that before when my wife tried to explain it but it sure makes sense now.

I think im getting the message now ... I have never felt so together but given my history that doesn't surprise me.

Anyway My post today from Danielle's thread (sorry but I like to keep stuff in my thread..) -About Cotswolds and Tiddlywink village..:

"Eight cottages apparently (didn't see a pub mentioned).
Still very cute ace name, usually based around drinking in pubs I think which is very English I Myself was born in a town with over 350 pubs (bars) about 150 years ago (lots of textile mills and thirsty people then apparently). The street where I bought my second house on, had 4 pubs or ex-pubs on it, 500m long....  At one time in the mid 1800s the town was the worlds largest producer of silk cloth and buttons and the original site for 'Hovis Bread'. 
Unless your English you may not understand that bit.
Posting on my nub page as well "


Enough history and such for tonight.

Hugz for everybody
Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Quote from: Katie Again on June 23, 2018, 05:12:57 PM
I think im getting the message now ... I have never felt so together but given my history that doesn't surprise me.

Anyway My post today from Danielle's thread (sorry but I like to keep stuff in my thread..) -About Cotswolds and Tiddlywink village..:

"Eight cottages apparently (didn't see a pub mentioned).
Still very cute ace name, usually based around drinking in pubs I think which is very English I Myself was born in a town with over 350 pubs (bars) about 150 years ago (lots of textile mills and thirsty people then apparently). The street where I bought my second house on, had 4 pubs or ex-pubs on it, 500m long....  At one time in the mid 1800s the town was the worlds largest producer of silk cloth and buttons and the original site for 'Hovis Bread'. 
Unless your English you may not understand that bit.
Posting on my nub page as well "


Enough history and such for tonight.

Hugz for everybody
Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

@Katie Again
Dear Katie:....  it was initially difficult to comprehend for this Alaskan Girl but with the help of the internet and google I was able to make sense of it all....   thanks for your detailed reply and inside information from an "English Woman"
Hugs,
Danielle

Quote from: Katie Again on June 23, 2018, 03:19:15 PM
Dear Donna
Sounds like you have the ideal Mom there, look after her more than ever. Good to see you have had a really positive response, I bet that made you really glow inside. Go girl Go :)

As an aside, and I'm not certain if I can post this here so any Mod please remove if not suitable, but I was gently massaging my 'chest' as we all should do I think,  (Lymph node clearing etc etc) and quite quickly my body generally felt very very different and very very nice. It was somewhat intoxicating, and I think maybe I was starting to get some sort of female arousal. No male response at all, but a very deep, but mild sort of body resonance. I could do with more of that I think. Never had anything so sensual as male at all, as a male it was (when it worked) just centred between the legs. This was quite a revelation to me I think. Am I wrong or is this sort of stuff to be expected? Any way of building on this  or just keep going..?

Hugz
Katie

??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ??? ??? ??? ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel:

@Katie Again
Dear Katie:  At least in my experience what you described is completely normal....  once my breasts started getting sensitive early on from HRT the slightest thing could make my nipples very erect (could just about poke holes in my shirt) and that feeling you described came upon me.  Sometimes at night with the bed sheets rubbing on them I had all kinds of "warm" feelings and I couldn't keep  my hands off of my growing boobs.... and like you said, no reaction whatever from down below.
Of course others may have different experiences in what you described but I agree with how you described things.
Hugs,
Danielle

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on June 24, 2018, 08:37:37 AM

@Katie Again
Dear Katie:....  it was initially difficult to comprehend for this Alaskan Girl but with the help of the internet and google I was able to make sense of it all....   thanks for your detailed reply and inside information from an "English Woman"
[/b]

Dear Danielle
;D. Believe me, I often confuse myself, I do mean well, but tend to ramble on sometimes. The original post was even worse :) hence the 'English' comment, I should really have taken it out as it referred to other items that I removed.
I blame the hormones for this lack of clarity, as I never used to be this bad.

Hugz
Katie
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :angel:

Katie I am just now reading your entire thread.  Sorry I didn't get to this all sooner and my immediate thought is you are already much more self aware - understanding where you have been and where you're going.  The most important change in transition is understanding yourself and letting your mind override obsolete social constraints.  You are going to great places and have accomplished much more than you may realise. 

Made sense to me but then I am from Castlemorton. Saying that I can understand Jack and Brian , 2 old local brothers and you might think the didn't speak English.

So wonderful Katie to read of your latest experience; this is further proof you are on the right road. We all have so much to discover on our journeys.

Also - wonderful adverts over the years for Hovis and wonderful bread it is to taste aswell!

Have a good week

Hugs

Pamela

Hi everyone
Technically speaking today is my 26th Wedding anniversary. We are separated but not divorced. Tomorrow is my Dads birthday, but parents aren't responding to any calls from me at the moment. Maybe they are saving it all up for our meeting on the 4th...... My male birthday (56) on Friday (Manchester visit yay). Still sorting out female birthday but that will probably GCS day. If the NHS ever gets to see me....
Eyes still a problem so saw consultant today. No trauma or inflammation in left eye but pressure up to 25 things, causing blurred vision. I don't have glaucoma either so he's concerned about it. Still not concerned enough to cancel his holiday next week though. So back on the pills and yet more eye drops with a list of side effects (possible) longer than an elephants todger (English word, Anglo-Saxon I think). list of corrupt politicians..
So let's see what happens. Hope it doesn't stop my visit to Manchester on Friday. Practicing my 'Yes please' and 'thank you' 'yes' and 'No' in my squeaky  pseudo Mickey Minnie Mouse 'Female' voice. It won't work but all I need to do is smile a lot and I will be OK.
Was quite a lot up and down again this week, self doubt trying to get me down again, but just got dressed and made up as practice for Friday and was wonderful again and very relaxed.
As I say Ill post some pics on here if any turn out not too bad. Worrying over what to wear now, and I have to paint toenails in advance tonight.
We definitely need to plan well ahead being a girl.
Loving every minute as usual.

Lov n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D

Happy Birthday for tomorrow, Katie and have a wonderful day out. You are 7 years behind me in age but I feel we are similar in that we both always knew, we both buried and suppressed, we both finally took action at the same time with GenderGP and we both started HRT at the same time. On the HRT Board I raised a question on Prolactin but I am not worried about it at present - just another thing to monitor!

I think as girls we may 3 birthdays - first day of HRT, first day Full Time, day of GCS.

Hope things improve on the eye front as I'm sure they will.

Hugs

Pamela

Thanks Pamela
Yes my suspicions were right in that I have hypertension in my eye for no reason it seems. Got pills last night so sight restored for the time being. More investigations to follow when Consultant is back off holiday.
Mum and Dad still not responding to phone calls, I suspect the may have gone away for his birthday. Got a Birthday card from mum, yesterday, with a big 'SON' on the front of it. Oh well at least I got a card.
Off to my support group tonight, so wont get time to post nothing until after my trip tomorrow.
TC for now
Luv n Hugz
Katie
:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Quote from: Katie Again on June 27, 2018, 03:42:45 PM
Hi everyone
Technically speaking today is my 26th Wedding anniversary. We are separated but not divorced. Tomorrow is my Dads birthday, but parents aren't responding to any calls from me at the moment. Maybe they are saving it all up for our meeting on the 4th...... My male birthday (56) on Friday (Manchester visit yay). Still sorting out female birthday but that will probably GCS day. If the NHS ever gets to see me....
Eyes still a problem so saw consultant today. No trauma or inflammation in left eye but pressure up to 25 things, causing blurred vision. I don't have glaucoma either so he's concerned about it. Still not concerned enough to cancel his holiday next week though. So back on the pills and yet more eye drops with a list of side effects (possible) longer than an elephants todger (English word, Anglo-Saxon I think). list of corrupt politicians..
So let's see what happens. Hope it doesn't stop my visit to Manchester on Friday. Practicing my 'Yes please' and 'thank you' 'yes' and 'No' in my squeaky  pseudo Mickey Minnie Mouse 'Female' voice. It won't work but all I need to do is smile a lot and I will be OK.
Was quite a lot up and down again this week, self doubt trying to get me down again, but just got dressed and made up as practice for Friday and was wonderful again and very relaxed.
As I say Ill post some pics on here if any turn out not too bad. Worrying over what to wear now, and I have to paint toenails in advance tonight.
We definitely need to plan well ahead being a girl.
Loving every minute as usual.

Lov n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D

@Katie Again:
Dear Katie:
It was good to see your multi-faceted update with all the events coming up for you.
Well, since you are not divorced, it is still indeed your 26the Wedding Anniversary... I suppose that under the circumstance congratulations are not in order. 

Regarding your dad's birthday and the fact that your parents are not responding to your calls, I trust that it is not because of their non-acceptance of the new you. 
If I were to call my parents today, they would  probably would not respond and answer the phone.  I would have to probably call 4 or 5 times and leave messages and perhaps they would answer my next subsequent call... and if they did answer, the conversation would be brief and filled with tension... and they would address me by my old male name.  Only once ever did my mom address me as Danielle and that was over 6 months ago before Christmas when she ended the call by saying "goodbye Danielle"  My dad will only begrudgingly talk to me on the phone for less than a minute... and he never has accepted me or addressed me as Danielle.   Sorry I got sidetracked here with my story of woe.... now back to you, it is your thread and it is about you!!!!

Well, a day in advance I am Wishing You a Happy 56th Birthday   :icon_birthday:
Yes, for sure, even though I started transitioning over 4 years ago have been full time for well over a year and a half it is always a conundrum about birthdays and how to celebrate.  It is becoming easier as time goes on... but I still get birthday cards in the mail addressed to the "wrong" name.   At least I get birthday cards in the mail, so I am thankful for that.   Much like your story about getting a birthday card from your mum... with a big "Son" written on the front of the card.   Trust me, you are not alone with experiencing these kinds of things.

I sincerely hope that the medications for your eye problems solve the issue for you.... I am certain that this is a big concern for you, as it should be.  Please keep us updated on your thread but only if you feel comfortable doing that.

Yes, at this stage in your transition timeline... PRACTICE looking like the woman you are.   You have not had the lifetime of experience being a woman so this can all be new stuff to deal with... shaving body hair, colors for finger and toe nails, jewelry, makeup, hair styles, shoes, bras, lingerie and undies, clothing choices... OMG, clothing choices...so many variations and so many colors and combinations to deal with. 
As you said, one must plan ahead as a woman... it is not like the old days of being a male and just throwing on any old shirt and pants laying on the floor (they don't have to ever match or be ironed !! LOL) then perhaps run comb through scruffy hair and out the door you are.

Yes indeed, it would be definitely OK with us if you posted some pictures....
Wishing you good luck at your support meeting and with your upcoming trip and events.... travel safe.
Again Happy Birthday to you.
Thank you for posting your updates.

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Happy Birthday, have a nice time.XXXXXXXX ( my internet  keeps going so did this quick)

Happy Birthday Katie!!   :icon_birthday:

And this one is very different from years past.  I see the gears turning, things you are doing and looking forward to.  You have such an exciting future. 

Danielle, Davina and Kendra as well as everyone else following my little thread here thanks for your welcome comment.
Just to say what an absolutely wonderful day I have had. Manchester is such a trans friendly/tolerant place.
Travelled there by slow commuter train, hot and a bit crowded, I didn't care as my mind set was to get on with life and smile.
Got into Piccadilly train station about 4pm ( I was working in the morning). Walked all around the Gay/LGBT village just to see it and prepair for next weekends Sparkle events, saw the Alan Turing memorial etc, then further into town, shopping at the Arndale Centre, sitting watching the kids play in the water fountains in Piccadilly Plaza, Cold drink (fizzy water) in Marks and Spencers (big UK Store), talking to a couple of police women (who were truly gorgeous), walking past hundreds and hundreds of people enjoying the sun at outdoor cafes, and the superb aura the city centre has. Get there to understand that, this is a City that can do anything I think, so love it, its such a diverse but seemingly united community.
Then to the Molly House for a really good meal, and almost next door to the Richmond Tea Rooms  for Vanilla Chai tea and a slice of amazing Victoria sponge cake... talking for ages with a load of bridesmaids and the bride (about my age but a little younger), just got loads of compliments and congratulations (which I returned of course), my friend Tina kept telling them it was my first true time out.
Just was so very natural and felt so real and true as me, for me today.
That was easy and in that particular supported circumstance I cant see what my issues were.
Love life so much atm.
Also Younger brother text me to tell me he has got engaged, so on the off chance I'm asked to attend I'm going to have to really concentrate on loosing weight... you never know..(Bridesmaid?? lol)
Finally, Mum called at about 9PM to quickly wish me a happy birthday, and then my Dad did but emphasised 'son'. I told them I was in Manchester for a meal to celebrate my birthday with a friend (true). Will tell them more details if they ask...
So  today was   + + + +
And new eyedrops held up my eyesight.

Midnight tonight at the moment so when Tina sends me the photos she took of me then ill sort a few out to post.

Hope eternal
Lov and Hugz

Your Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

@Katie Again
Dear Katie, your entire update that you posted sounded like you had a wonderful time.....things worked out nicely for you.... including your eye issues.... 
... with the expected exception of course regarding your happy birthday phone call with your mom and dad... after-all you previously got the birthday card from them with a big "son" written on the front....  your dad emphasizing calling you "son" was expected by you I am sure...
....but did your mom call you "son" also?

Yes indeed, if you feel comfortable posting pictures from Tina... we will be most eager to see them on your thread...
Thank you for keeping us up to date and sharing your experiences with us.

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Happy belated birthday and just your post is such a great read.
Thank you

 Hi Katie,

  I dropped in to see today was your birthday and it does sound like you have had a wonderful day in Manchester. I think I may know a cis woman there. You do sound like you were in your element there in Piccadilly. I hope you eye problems turn out to be something not too serious but whatever it is you be sure to take care of it. Eyesight is nothing to put off.

HAPPY Belated BIRTHDAY Katie!!!


Hugs,
   Laurie

Katie

It is always wonderful to read an inspirational and uplifting post and your latest update is precisely that.

Congratulations not only on another "first" but also on such a wonderful experience in an afternoon in Manchester.

I hope Sparkle Event next Saturday 6th also lives up to expectations and I am sure it will.

Good luck with your parents  - I empathise as mine never liked or understood the way I am - and with your eyes.

More hugs

Pamela

OK , some pictures, not all the blurry and bad ones are taken by me, those from my friend wont arrive until the start of next week as she is out shopping in London all day and has chores tomorrow (Im in the middle of mine..);

Pic #1  on the railway platform waiting for the train (terrible angle as Im no good at selfies hate this photo);
(https://i.imgur.com/bDqpHtW.jpg)

Pic #2  sat in train  - note this was full by the end of the 30 mile trip;
(https://i.imgur.com/Zukn5RO.jpg)
There will be more pics a this point in visit and will post when I get them.
Pic #3 In Marks and Spencers having  mineral water- photo was for another friend as she thinks I don't drink water at all for some reason...;
(https://i.imgur.com/xT2MTCb.jpg)
There will be more pics a this point in visit and will post when I get them.
Pic #4 Meal at the Molly House (Note my glass is almost all tonic water and ice..);
(https://i.imgur.com/9QZAxcB.jpg)
Pic #5 At Piccadilly Railway Station at the start of the 2 hour journey back by rail and car;
(https://i.imgur.com/wPZhCTQ.jpg)
I do love that dress as it hangs well on me.

The journey back was uneventful apart from it being the last train back we could get, and there were a lot of very merry male groups on it going home after a night out, so we kept a low profile but they were all happy and very noisy and only concerned with themselves. Sunset was lovely (didn't get a pic) and the moon was very low and a real cheesy colour to the South East and it accompanied us home during the car part of the journey, note I didn't drive in case you wondered as I never do after any alcohol, ever.

Got home and posted my previous post, got ready for bed, and slept for about 10 hours which is very unusual for me.
Ill post more as and when I get them.

That was a big day for me.  Oh!!! and I bought silver pendant as a keepsake, Pic taken just now;

(https://i.imgur.com/qxsoWGW.jpg)

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

snipped:

Quote from: Katie Again on June 30, 2018, 10:38:10 AM
OK , some pictures, not all the blurry and bad ones are taken by me, those from my friend wont arrive until the start of next week as she is out shopping in London all day and has chores tomorrow (Im in the middle of mine..);

Pic #1  on the railway platform waiting for the train (terrible angle as Im no good at selfies hate this photo);
(https://i.imgur.com/bDqpHtW.jpg)
- - - - - - - - - - - -
                     - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - 
That was a big day for me.  Oh!!! and I bought silver pendant as a keepsake, Pic taken just now;

(https://i.imgur.com/qxsoWGW.jpg)

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

@Katie Again :   
Dear Katie:  Wonderful pictures, all of them, including the "blurry ones"... oh, and your Pendant will be a lovely reminder of this memorable time in your life.
Thank you for sharing about your trip.
Hugs,
Danielle

Looking good there love, liking the pendant. Your dress does look nice as well. I can never get a good selfie either

OK, off t see parents first time since being let out of the bag by my brothers. Had AA injection yesterday and actually starting to feel better. I wasn't actually feeling right before, so a previous post somewhere by me about not really feeling any difference as the AA wears off was wrong - definitely feel it now.
Did I mention I got letter from Nottingham GIC and they confirmed the 2 year wait (minimum) others have mentioned.
Anyway Ill post some more pics tonight if I get back early from meeting parents
Toodle-pip
Love n Hugz
Katie

Quote from: Katie Again on July 04, 2018, 12:04:04 PM
OK, off t see parents first time since being let out of the bag by my brothers. Had AA injection yesterday and actually starting to feel better. I wasn't actually feeling right before, so a previous post somewhere by me about not really feeling any difference as the AA wears off was wrong - definitely feel it now.
Did I mention I got letter from Nottingham GIC and they confirmed the 2 year wait (minimum) others have mentioned.
Anyway Ill post some more pics tonight if I get back early from meeting parents
Toodle-pip
Love n Hugz
Katie

@Katie Again:
Dear Katie:   Wishing you good luck with the meet with your parents.   Perhaps it is a good thing that your brothers "let the cat out of the bag" about your transition....   that way, what you say will not be a big surprise to them and it just may go easier.   

Whoa... a 2 year wait for GIC.!!! ???  well, in the USA we don't have government run health care so we can get much more timely attention to our medical needs, but of course the costs are higher for the patient.  An interesting trade off, that is why single payer government health care is such a "hot button" issue here.

Please continue your updates, your followers want to know what is going on with you.

Thanks for your posting,
Hugs,
Danielle

Still have 8months left of my 2 years, just hope its not any longer. was confirmed when I phoned up with name change it would be early next year for first appointment. Hang on in there dear, best bit it gives you time for RLE and HRT before they see you so should not get the "are you sure this is what you want" and then maybe speed things along.(optimist!!!)

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on July 04, 2018, 02:02:54 PM
@Katie Again:
Wishing you good luck with the meet with your parents.   Perhaps it is a good thing that your brothers "let the cat out of the bag" about your transition....   that way, what you say will not be a big surprise to them and it just may go easier.   

Whoa... a 2 year wait for GIC.!!! ???  well, in the USA we don't have government run health care so we can get much more timely attention to our medical needs, but of course the costs are higher for the patient.  An interesting trade off, that is why single payer government health care is such a "hot button" issue here.[/b]

Quote from: davina61 on July 04, 2018, 03:06:43 PM
Still have 8months left of my 2 years, just hope its not any longer. was confirmed when I phoned up with name change it would be early next year for first appointment. Hang on in there dear, best bit it gives you time for RLE and HRT before they see you so should not get the "are you sure this is what you want" and then maybe speed things along.(optimist!!!)

OK,
Thanks ladies for your responses and comments, always appreciated :)

First bit (of 3) - meeting with parents. I went in Boy mode(ish) Pink tee shirt, Salmon pink short sleve shirt, jeans, new necklace all my normal rings (2 on each hand) but stopped short of wig/ bangles... Brothers and my separated wife (best friend) were there at the pub/restaurant so we all had a meal first - I had Gammon and eggs + side salad and diet tonic water +  ice/lemon. They all had the full works gammon eggs or lamb cutlets with loads of chips and bread n butter etc etc. (I pinched a couple of chips), needless to say as the Gammon was so gorgeous I wont be needing breakfast tomorrow.
So small talk and everyone jibing each other etc. after the meal I went to the toilet and when I came back just my parents were there at the table, beckoned me to sit down and said they wanted to talk about my situation. Well OK, this was the wrong place for them to shout my business out (they both have hearing aids  and shout when taking as people with hearing difficulties do). I suggested we go to my car and we could benefit from the Air con and talk privately. So did just that. Dad wouldn't look at me at all and iterated no matter what went on they would always have 3 sons and would treat us equally. Then he changed that to 'children'. That was good. We talked for a bit and I tried to make them understand gently that this wasn't a choice for me but a necessity. Explained all the level and volume of issues it has caused me over the years, in a gentle but short way.
Mum said she had no inkling (more likely she forgot or didn't want to raise questions about me borrowing /ruining clothes, stealing and generally doing anything to get something feminine in my life even pre puberty). I explained that I have always felt different and not right and that where I am now I am much happier and more of a whole person. Happy. More content. Positive. Happy again.
Obviously they did question a few things, like sexuality, why?, and the like and I again explained the difference between sex and gender - one body the other between the ears etc.. that opinions are divided as to what causes this etc..
My Dad who apparently had to be persuaded to go, said that he was really glad to have come and it had broken the ice for him, and as long as progress was in keeping with his ability to accept (i.e. slow) then that would be good. Mum said it was difficult but she had experience of someone transitioning at a place of work and she could understand better but it would still take time to accept.
I finished off by saying I had tried everything to not have to go down this path but had finally accepted that I had to do this to be truly myself, and that I needed for them to be part of that, so they could know I was truly happy and myself. After that it was a really really REALLY big hug with my Dad and then my mum as far as I could in the car.
So, ice broken, journey started on that part of my Life.
Very happy with the outcome and will certainly comply with their requests not to overload them with stuff. We still all love each other and possibly more so than ever as I can truly be myself with them.
As I type the tears are making my vision bad, so will take a break for a few mins.

Thanks all for reading.

Love n Hugz

Katie

:angel:

Part 2 - GIC

For me I am private on meds, so by the time I get an NHS Appointment  I should have been living fulltime for a year +, have had FFS and will be quite a way down the social integration path.
The private practice I am with are well aware of the NHS's inability to process Trans enquiries and patients fast enough. They may be exploiting that a little  but not at excessive costs if you are careful. They are very empathic Doctors and staff. I actually have heard that the NHS is happy that they are taking some of the burden off them. I think un-trans-educated people see our issues as a life style choice still as I have said previously on another thread. It isn't, but we do feel we need help in understanding what we really need and not to jump to the wrong conclusion, particularly those of younger ages without enough life experience or those with other possibly unobserved issues. True there are open and shut cases but many still need to tread the path carefully so as not to ruin what their lives should have been,,,,,

So, 2 years for an appointment, which means that I can get on with most of the jobs needed and then go for the final decision as the end point of transition and start point of normal life again (ish).

Well that's what I keep telling myself - my opinion may change in a year or so..

Luv n Hugz
Katie

:angel: :angel:

Part 3 - more pics of Manchester visit last weekend. Visit this weekend still not confirmed but will go solo if needs.

Will post tomorrow as need to go and sleep...

Gn all sweet dreams
Katie

:-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

I am so glad you have had the  private talk and "explanation" with your dad and mum and that it went so well and that you hugged afterwards.

You are over a major hurdle and you will feel more at ease and able to pursue your quest to be the true you.

Longer hugs to you this time!

Pamela

Quote from: Katie Again on July 04, 2018, 04:45:55 PM
OK,
Thanks ladies for your responses and comments, always appreciated :)

First bit (of 3) - meeting with parents. I went in Boy mode(ish) Pink tee shirt, Salmon pink short sleve shirt, jeans, new necklace all my normal rings (2 on each hand) but stopped short of wig/ bangles... Brothers and my separated wife (best friend) were there at the pub/restaurant so we all had a meal first - I had Gammon and eggs + side salad and diet tonic water +  ice/lemon. They all had the full works gammon eggs or lamb cutlets with loads of chips and bread n butter etc etc. (I pinched a couple of chips), needless to say as the Gammon was so gorgeous I wont be needing breakfast tomorrow.

@Katie Again
  Dear Katie:  So very glad that the breakfast meeting started out well... that was a big help as you talked in more detail with family members.   You had me wondering about what in the heck is Gammon.  So, of course google helped me... here is the definition for me and my American friends.
       noun: gammon
           -ham that has been cured or smoked like bacon.
              -the bottom piece of a side of bacon, including a hind leg.

Quote
So small talk and everyone jibing each other etc. after the meal I went to the toilet and when I came back just my parents were there at the table, beckoned me to sit down and said they wanted to talk about my situation. Well OK, this was the wrong place for them to shout my business out (they both have hearing aids  and shout when taking as people with hearing difficulties do). I suggested we go to my car and we could benefit from the Air con and talk privately. So did just that. Dad wouldn't look at me at all and iterated no matter what went on they would always have 3 sons and would treat us equally. Then he changed that to 'children'. That was good. We talked for a bit and I tried to make them understand gently that this wasn't a choice for me but a necessity. Explained all the level and volume of issues it has caused me over the years, in a gentle but short way.

Oh my, that went fairly well for you despite the loud voices that the other customers in the restaurant were no doubt listening to....  I am sure that they heard more than they expected to hear.

QuoteMum said she had no inkling (more likely she forgot or didn't want to raise questions about me borrowing /ruining clothes, stealing and generally doing anything to get something feminine in my life even pre puberty). I explained that I have always felt different and not right and that where I am now I am much happier and more of a whole person. Happy. More content. Positive. Happy again.
Obviously they did question a few things, like sexuality, why?, and the like and I again explained the difference between sex and gender - one body the other between the ears etc.. that opinions are divided as to what causes this etc..

It is good that you got all of that off of your chest, important background for your parents to hear from you.

Quote
My Dad who apparently had to be persuaded to go, said that he was really glad to have come and it had broken the ice for him, and as long as progress was in keeping with his ability to accept (i.e. slow) then that would be good. Mum said it was difficult but she had experience of someone transitioning at a place of work and she could understand better but it would still take time to accept.

Well, that is good news that your dad said he was glad to have come to meet with you.  Your mom handled the conversation fairly well...  indeed, this is a tough thing for many parents to hear from one of their children, no matter what age everyone is.

Quote
I finished off by saying I had tried everything to not have to go down this path but had finally accepted that I had to do this to be truly myself, and that I needed for them to be part of that, so they could know I was truly happy and myself. After that it was a really really REALLY big hug with my Dad and then my mum as far as I could in the car.
So, ice broken, journey started on that part of my Life.
Very happy with the outcome and will certainly comply with their requests not to overload them with stuff. We still all love each other and possibly more so than ever as I can truly be myself with them.
As I type the tears are making my vision bad, so will take a break for a few mins.

Thanks all for reading.

Love n Hugz

Katie

:angel:

    Yes indeed,  Katie, the outcome of your meeting with the folks, and your anticipation and trepidation about how your would approach them seemingly turned out MUCH BETTER than you could have hoped for.   I am so happy for you that the big heavy weight is now off of your shoulders.  You can now have the freedom to continue with your transition without keeping secrets from your own family.... certainly  a big relief for you.
Thank you so much for feeling comfortable enough to share your wonderful and encouraging posting...  very affirming for you and a big help in building your self-confidence as your journey continues.
Please, as you have been doing, continue posting your updates... your followers and readers want to know so they can rejoice with you in good times and support you in bad times.
Hugs and Hugs... and more Hugs,
Danielle

Pamela and Danielle
Thank you so much for your warm responses and especially all those hugs - I like them a lot nowadays. But time presses on us all so, Pictures in roughly chronological order;
Piccadilly Rail Station - main rail hub in the city (No, no one looks , no one cares really);

(https://i.imgur.com/eMSpIi4.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/PQwhSBp.jpg)

Not many pictures on walking through the city as my friend was rushing... but this is Canal Street where the worlds largest free TS/TV event is held this weekend - Sparkle, (apparently) my friends face obscured for her privacy as she isn't on this site;
(https://i.imgur.com/OUvrXuB.png)
(https://i.imgur.com/TxtgoI7.jpg)

Pub lunch at the Molly House;
(https://i.imgur.com/AEMu3bi.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/whENYOR.jpg)

And back to the station, was somewhat tired by this time as was 30c 'ish and we aren't used to that much in the UK;
(https://i.imgur.com/rf4jnud.jpg)

So,loved it. and doing it all solo on Saturday hopefully as my friend is supporting a mutual friend who has family issues re transitioning and the 3 of us together do tend to be noisy etc.

So, conclusion is, I still have no idea how to carry a handbag or pose successfully, and I still need that next 40 Lb off..

Hope you enjoyed them,
Luv N Hugz

Katie
:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

I love days out like that, not much chance at the moment. Happy days

Well anyone at Sparkle in Manchester tomorrow PM or email me for a free tea and cake (Im generous it seems)
Love n Hugz
Katie

Hi
Well no one said they were going but I still had my cake and Vanilla tea.. yum.
Sparkle however was great, so good in fact that I took very few pictures. It is quite an event really with stage acts and rock choirs, stalls and bars and stuff and then also Canal Street which was heaving with all sorts of Cis Trans polar non polar, fetishists, sissies etc etc. Everyone just happy and everyone in such good moods. Anyway I will pop in a portrait of me on Canal Street and another when I got home a few minutes ago. The event is almost non-stop till Sunday night, but I was tired, hot and have stuff to do at home this weekend. I will definitely stay over somewhere next year. I will use the portrait as my Avatar for a bit I think;
1. Ready to go,
(https://i.imgur.com/V5DGJez.png)

2. Canal street (was 29C but felt hotter..)
(https://i.imgur.com/l4mLQXM.png)

3. Back home having listened to the end of the England World cup football (soccer) match;
(https://i.imgur.com/Dpnyr6D.png)

I think Ill have to remember to take more pics  and less portraits as well so I can remember it all in years to come.

This was my first time out solo in daytime. It was a very safe venue though.

Luv n HugZ

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Looks like fun my dear, not much going on here (boring) but its 29C in my flat and my syrup is making me sweat!!!

@Katie Again
Dear Katie....  I love all the new pictures that you are posting on your thread.   The portraits and the selfies are wonderful to see. 
In the pictures in your pretty dress at the railway station and having lunch you look absolutely wonderful.

And at Sparkle... running solo... a wonderfully affirming adventure for you... looking good again!

Thanks for your updates, it is always a nice treat for your followers and readers.
Hugs and well wishes,
Daneille

Hi

Quote from: davina61 on July 07, 2018, 01:19:40 PM
Looks like fun my dear, not much going on here (boring) but its 29C in my flat and my syrup is making me sweat!!!

Dear Davina, yes mine was literally melting today, too hot, not a lot of air movement. I had to keep moving so at least my legs were 'aired' as it were. Skirts are sooooooo much better in hot weather, although when putting my outfit together last night with my Ex for help, she steered me away from my shorter skirts (Tartan pleated types, Black/white, Red/Black etc) as she says I can sit down properly in them if you know what I mean. I may relegate them for doing the Gardening in maybe!!

And dearest Danielle, thanks for the compliments, Im not sure they are that justified but very welcome anyway.
Yes, today was very much affirming for me. I getting where I need to be even if some residual (and diminishing) part of me still resists...
Resistance is futile though, so the remnants of my male alter ego can go squat etc. I am being assimilated into where I should have been anyway :)

And I got 3 new t shirts today as I realise most of my nice clothes are for slightly more cool climates (Not Alaska though), I have several prettier dresses, well I think so anyway.

So what's next between now and the September meet up with the UK girls, who knows, maybe another sojourn to darkest Nottingham. I'm off for 3 one week holidays from work, in July, August and September (directly after IPL as I don't trust my face not to turn into a Martian landscape again..) so lets see what I can conjure up. Seaside, Walking in Cumbria, creating a garden in my own walled wilderness at the back of my house (Maybe a use for those skirts.. but in all truth I do need to make a back garden which is more than dried up grass and a few pot plants).

Anyway Im sure I can carry on posting my mundane dribbling's to try and keep everyone amused..

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: ;D :angel: ;D :angel: ;D :angel: ;D :angel: ;D :angel:

Postscript ; Actually I was going to get the motorcycle legal and back on the road. She is a very pretty bike that has been tweaked for more fun. Sounds gorgeous, let me see if I can find a picture...
BRB...

I found a flowing mid length skirt is more cooling , that M&S one from charity shop is rather nice. My youngest has got me into bikes, last one I had was in 71 a 60 BSA C15 250 single. Got me to work and collage and never broke down. More into building them now as never had a bike licence. Suppose to be restoring a 90cc Excelsior but after watching bike building shows on TV want to build a "mini" chopper using a 125 cc v twin.

Hi
Cant find pics of my bike but here is one very similar;

(https://i.imgur.com/3dQFxAX.jpg)

Mine has scorpion pipes, Decal on the fairing and  slightly trick engine (Stage 1 tune, K&N, and rear ratio change etc..)
Made 86bhp with the Db killers still in, so should top 90bhp without them (not advised as very very loud). Shes my baby though and I still need to shift enough weight before going looking for Black and Pink Leathers... mmmm
(She is much slower than the Kawa 900 Ninja or the 1100 Suzi I had before but more fun...)


Davina go for it. Last few restos I did were the GSX1100EZ Suzi , GT380L (love that 2 stroke sound so much) with a semi resto on the GPZ900R A1 .. that shredded its tyres after I put on new carbs with the de-icing kit... I might have pictures somewhere...
Katie

>:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-)

Hi
Enough of bikes, I am more important. Didnt go to the Sunday Sparkle day as it was just too hot yesterday and I couldn't bear another day  being as hot.

So , almost 6 months on HRT, may post a before and current pic but I cant see any difference at distance apart from the wig (and a truly soul deep smile). My own hair is lower than my ears now and bottom of jacket collar at work now. A few people commenting but Im ignoring them. Clean hair any length is acceptable to me.
Obviously other body changes you cant see or feel with a head portrait.

I have to be careful posting pics as Im not out at work yet, so maybe leave it a couple more months., undecided as yet.

Tonight I have had a very strong urge to put all my boy clothes out in the bin for collection tomorrow with the rubbish but sense prevailed as I wouldn't have much to go to work in, but it really was a strong feeling, not felt quite like that before. Anyone else have that? its sort of the opposite of the girl clothes cleansing feeling thing I occasionally did before starting this journey. Weird.
Anyway - need to check my builders quote for a new bathroom (and shower this time...), it will be simple and functional, the accessories will bring the prettiness factor to the room.
Well Sleep well everyone in the UK (don't complain about it not raining....), and everywhere else of course.

Luv n Hugz
Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Oooh - forgot - had bloods taken Friday so looking forwards to T/E levels this week, but I think T is up and E is down, but you never know.
And eldest son, and gf are at Ex's for BBQ next Saturday, thats after my next full face session with IPL... should be fun and outcome unknown - see prevous threads -, but thats also why Im trying to keep out of the sun despite it being the best summer since 1976 in the UK (I remember that...).. 1978 was good as well..
As I'm on blood thinners (Warfarin) where the nurse took my blood samples looks like in an Habitual intra-V druggie. I can assure you I'm not. Ill post a pic later.

Well Gn again

Lov n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :police: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

And I thought the builders were making new wardrobes to fit all the frocks in!!!! All my boy stuff went to the charity shop or skip last year as not worn any for 6 months and not missed them

Oh well, 6 months HRT, and cant really see any major differences other than chest aching, smother skin and putting weight back on... I suppose that's with being my age (56) we are slower to respond if at all. Bit of a downer at the moment but Ill get out of it I suppose. I don't think ill review oldish photos tonight as I'm sure I'll come to the same conclusion. Seems like I'm up and down at the moment. Weekend was fab, now I'm coming down from such a good weekend, maybe that's it. Also Doctors admin could only say my bloods were all 'OK' whatever that is, including the hormone levels... am I back to male T and E levels - seriously not happy with them  at the moment.
Ill sleep on it and look forward to England playing footie tomorrow - Bra/chest (don't like saying Boobs as its demeaning as its a bloke word) under football shirt - not done that before... If we loose I having a bath with a bath bomb in it - yay...
Anyway, keep going girls,
Hugz
Katie

Random meanderings and general mumblings tonight folks;

Well its a bath bomb after England loosing, and I'm having that tonight.

Had IPL today, at the reduced level and so far OK, it still stung a lot though. Ill let you know tomorrow if its burnt me again. Got told off by the Lady doing the treatment, as my facial regime is apparently really bad and so she has instructed me what to do (well no ones ever told me, so Im just guessing/YouTube watching) and she has helped match it with my skin type etc. She is such a dear for helping.

So, steak and salad tonight, poached egg for breakfast, then late afternoon BBQ at Ex's with sons and eldest sons girlfriend. That the plans for tomorrow (mainly around eating of course).

Tidying up tonight, remake bed as I caught leg on corner of my bed last night and it bled during the night, its a bit of a mess (leg), but I do seem to be more prone to skin injuries nowadays. Vitamin deficiency or just effect of the various treatments Im on? I dont know.

Off work next week so maybe a chance to get out and about a bit, apart from jobs, gardening (dead lawn at the moment) and seeing parents again - I may accidentally leave a little bit of eye liner on.... see if they notice...

Went to the local support group last night which was nice for a bit of a chat, and find more out about my friends there. Some of the hobbies are really nice, and that brings me round to thinking of a hobby for myself. Especially one more in keeping with the real me. I shall have a think, suggestions from anyone maybe? I will discount cooking as I'm trying to loose weight (maybe it will help with that though, if my cooking is as bad as it usually is..). Eventually I will want to join a gym, but happy with walking and morning exercises at the moment. I have a mountain bike that's not been used for the last 5 or 6 years, that's a possibility, maybe downhill (with someone to take it back uphill..). A colleague at work is a skydiver, which is a bit extreme (he stalled his parachute on his last jump a couple of feet above the ground and ended up planting his face in hard Spanish soil..).
Anyway suggestions accepted.
Anyway Back to housework.

Talk care all

Lvun n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Hope the leg heals (or should that be heels?) I have next week off as well, good job as centre of town is closed to through traffic from Wednesday to Sunday for Blues Festival due to lots of (idiots) folks wandering around the main street . Alcohol not helping, in fact nearly ran some over last year.

Sounds a fun time,
I think im a little too far from you to come down for tea - Ill PM you
Katie

Not been to doctors for results, they are photocopying them and I can collect a copy . which I will do after this post.
Seeing Parents again on Thursday at their house, Dad seems very upbeat about it, but Im cautious. My one and only girl cousin, who has always been close to me - I helped her out and watched out for her for a long time when we were younger -, well she has been inquiring about me to my Ex-wife, and it seems that some rumours are starting in my home town - I live 35 miles away from there which is why I don't see parents and family more than I do. She is asking for clarification of a few items as yet undisclosed. I have questioned my brothers before I talk to her and they have resolutely said that my Parents don't want anyone else to know (no idea if that is either yet, or ever). Also my mother heavily hinted to my Ex-wife that they weren't going to a wedding next summer (a cousin 'once removed' that we have always got on with and used to see quite often) and didn't think we would be going either... Hmm. I know I often put 2 and 2 together and make 5, but I am starting to smell a rat here a little. Lets see.

Finally on this post I am mortified to find out this week that my dear sons are both on or seeking medical help for Depression. I know this is down to the separation and the massive upheaval in family life on top of their own issues. I am very concerned about my eldest as he will be going back to his university city to continue with a summer job (apparently he's handling up to £100,000 a day which is a massive responsibility for him as well). He seems to think as well (his girlfriend tells me) that he can take the meds when he feels the need.. not good. Youngest is seeing the Doc soon for an assessment. Next year is his final school year before university and I pray god that this isn't going to mess up his future.
Its clear that these issues have to the greater extent been hidden from me, which concerns and upsets me greatly. I need to put my thoughts together and see what I can do to carefully and gently support them more than I am presently. Eldest son is staying at my house at the moment, so Im gently doing what I can to make him realise that he hasn't lost anything but gained more than before.
So, things not looking too good at the moment.
Im off to Docs now to see if they did my blood tests properly. Ill let you know.
Im doing Fajitas for the boys tea tonight, but I also need to get the yellow/golden fence paint off that seeks to have adhered to various parts of my body. Yes I have been repairing and replacing fencing panels today.

Sorry about the ramblings again, just another hiccup in my journey,

Luv n Hugz

Katie
:-\

@Katie Again
Dear Katie: My Oh my.... you have a lot going on...  I trust that your blood test results come back OK... YES, after you visit your doctor please let us know.

Hmmm, your parents, your brothers and other family....   stay as upbeat as you can while working the issues.
There is an old saying that is so true in situations with family....
      "If life doesn't deal you enough problems you can always count on your own family"

I am hoping that all turns out OK with your 2 sons and their depression issues....  sometimes those kinds of things do not resolve quickly, so bear with it and try to help them as much as you can without blaming yourself.

Ahhh, you stated:

QuoteIm doing Fajitas for the boys tea tonight, but I also need to get the yellow/golden fence paint off that seeks to have adhered to various parts of my body. Yes I have been repairing and replacing fencing panels today.

Hmmm, you could leave the yellow/golden paint on your body and perhaps even apply more...
....you could start a new makeup revolution. ;)

Thank you for posting your update....
I am sending positive vibes your way.

Hugs and well wishes as always,
Danielle

Give the boys lots of support, hugs whatever . See you didn't have correct PPE , hope it comes off ok and you don't look like a bad accident with a bottle of self tan!!!!

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on July 16, 2018, 12:21:46 PM
@Katie Again
Ahhh, you stated:Hmmm, you could leave the yellow/golden paint on your body and perhaps even apply more...
....you could start a new makeup revolution. ;)

Thank you for posting your update....
I am sending positive vibes your way.

Hugs and well wishes as always,
Danielle

Thanks for your quip and warm thoughts Danielle,
I don't think Autumn gold looks good on the skin (too much like a sort of James Bond cliché - Goldfinger I think?) but I would defeatedly try nail varnish that colour.

Yes lots going on at the moment, and a few more issues besides my posts that just need working through, any positive thoughts and wishes always truly gratefully appreciated.

Quote from: davina61 on July 16, 2018, 01:01:32 PM
Give the boys lots of support, hugs whatever . See you didn't have correct PPE , hope it comes off ok and you don't look like a bad accident with a bottle of self tan!!!!

Dear Davina, yes of course I hug them as much as possible and they do know that I love them very deeply.
As to correct PPE, I was standing upwind, wearing goggles and started off with my old painting hoodie (keeps it off the hair) but as the sweat started running down my back that got discarded.  My breathing filter seemed to be home to the entire arachnid population of the village so that got binned. I then ended up using the sprayer as a 'paint putter onner' as I had to finish off with a brush anyway. I realise now that it would have been a good picture of me for someone's sweaty gallery... As Ive got to break up all the old panels sometime this week maybe Ill get chance that time, but likely to be in my male gardening/painting kit - they look very oversize now as well (that's the good bit). Lets see...

As to Blood tests (6 months);
T is less than 0.2nmol/L - same as last time  - good
E down to 254 pmol/l - about 30% lower than last time, could explain why I'm not feeling as good as previously.

All other blood tests (they did a full sweep as well) are all good or getting better.

I was going to go and see Davina, but with all this going on, a car to fix, visits to parents and such like, Ive had to cancel it, l will try for next holiday.

Im just too busy at the moment and need to sort things out so I have more time to spend time with the kids when they are around, and to do stuff during the day and especially weekends. This holiday is just full of stuff to do that I wasn't really planning for. Its a poor excuse anyway,,, I must try harder..

Cant complain though really.

Well its getting late so Im off for a hot chocolate before bed, a last tidy up, hang washing up (sons uni clothes..) etc etc

Luv n Hugzz
Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ??? :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:  :-*

Hello Katie

I am glad all your Blood Tests apart from E - the main one obviously - are good. I hope the drop in E is temporary and increases significantly next time.

I am sorry you continue to have potential family problems; I feel for you. I hope the hassle you expect does not happen.

One small piece of comfort - noone wants their children to be depressed but it may be a good sign that that they have taken the initiative to seek medical help about it. So many people suffer in silence with depression and the problem only gets worse and worse. At least they have taken action early.

Lots of hugs to you today

Pamela  xx

Hi Pamela
Thanks for your kind words, they are always appreciated.

Its all fixable so that's what we are focussing on.

Im a bit low at the moment as well, having lost 40 LB last year Ive put 18 back on in the last 4months. Not happy at all about that but I suppose its the HRT. Its making my feet swell a bit so shoes are tight. Not eating a lot at the moment , just don't feel that hungry, the only solid food Ive had today so far has been 2 boiled eggs. Obviously Ive had a coffee, two diet cokes, a pint and a half of water as well. Last nights tea  was mainly eaten by my boys, although I managed to grab a fajita before they were all gobbled up. I will have cauliflower and bacon for tea I hope. I suppose a good nights sleep and I back to my usual bimbling self.

Im off downstairs to get that tea going as its getting on for 7:20 here.

Take care all,

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :-\ :-* :angel: :angel: :angel:

So,

So just to get my thread back onto me, here is my tea, currently keeping my tummy nice and warm;
(https://i.imgur.com/SckmAP7.png)

So that's;
Cauliflower - steamed with a light cheese sauce
2 well cooked rashers of Bacon (non-smoked thick, Aldi's best)
Roasted pepper filled with diced onions, Lancashire Cheese, and Jalapeno peppers, some ground pepper to suit.
Slice of white bread with butter.

I am definitely full now.

I think Ill post this on the 'what did you eat tonight' thread, its not much to look at but its mine.

That's it folks for another awe inspiring visit to World of Katie,

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

(p.s. feeling much more positive now, had long talk with Ex wife on our 40 min fast walk around the village, she is so sweet and helpful)

Quote from: Katie Again on July 17, 2018, 04:22:26 PM
So just to get my thread back onto me, here is my tea, currently keeping my tummy nice and warm;
(https://i.imgur.com/SckmAP7.png)

So that's;
Cauliflower - steamed with a light cheese sauce
2 well cooked rashers of Bacon (non-smoked thick, Aldi's best)
Roasted pepper filled with diced onions, Lancashire Cheese, and Jalapeno peppers, some ground pepper to suit.
Slice of white bread with butter.

I am definitely full now.

I think Ill post this on the 'what did you eat tonight' thread, its not much to look at but its mine.

That's it folks for another awe inspiring visit to World of Katie,

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

(p.s. feeling much more positive now, had long talk with Ex wife on out 40 min fast walk around the village, she is so sweet and helpful)

@Katie Again
Dear Katie....   what do you mean that your meal picture" is not much to look" at????.... I think it looks wonderfully delicious.  A very nice presentation the way that you plated it.

Oh and I love cheese sauce on my Cauliflower... and bacon, who doesn't like bacon???  And the way that you prepared the roasted pepper sounds very tasty.

That is very good news about your long talk with your Ex; "sweet and helpful"... be very thankful for that.

Thank you for sharing "another awe inspiring visit to World of Katie."

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Todays topic, should I show you my hair growth or not?
Not certain about this one but here goes, 3 pics of my ancient locks that haven't been cut for several months (was pretty short before);

(https://i.imgur.com/T5aGJrR.png)

(https://i.imgur.com/LIvLoor.png)

(https://i.imgur.com/yh9lW67.png)

Obviously with my hair loss covered up here it doesn't look too bad, but I will need a grafts or two.

And just to remind you here's me as I normally go out;

(https://i.imgur.com/M6WnUp8.jpg)

I know which one I prefer but will keep on growing it out.

So that's all, I have jobs n stuff to finish now as per previous posts.

Luv n Hugz

Katie

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ??? ??? ??? ??? :-* :-* :-* :-* ^-^ ^-^ ^-^ ^-^

Edit - still not certain so may delete this post...

OK well another day is done. I got bored with cleaning - in particular opening up all my framed glass fronted pictures to clear out all the minute insects that we seem to get this time of the year - note to self in that I need to seal the backs of the pictures. So I went for a drive for a couple of hours - as Katie and my usual hurdle of getting out to the car. That's still an issue for me and it shouldn't be - was easily done after reading the last couple of pages of Alaskan Danielle's thread on 'Positive Mindset...' That just took the edge of my hesitation and I was off. Sod everyone else and what they may or may not think, it doesn't matter anyway, and I do matter, so I did what I wanted. I'm learning and getting there. Still got a lot of barriers to destroy but they are coming down.
So here is a pic of me now in front of my old self built PC. I'm looking at old photos and can see a difference, I smile better now and am looking after myself much better - skin, exercise, mental health, stress, etc (and more focus on food now as well).

Off to an inaugural meeting of a start-up support group on Saturday - did I mention? Ill see what's going on and see if I can help out. Giving a lift to my friend Tina and another TG (I wonder who??), as she is staying at her place this weekend. Should be fun.

Missed my nightly walk tonight as Ex was busy taking eldest son to the local rail station, back to his summer job for a couple of week, then he's back again.
Spent 15 mins on exercise bike instead.
Spare car has been MOT'd as far as the emissions and they are draining diesel out of it that eldest put in, they will complete tomorrow. Eldest knew about but didn't tell us what was wrong when the car refused to start (its Petrol/gas..)... Hopefully it will get through MOT, but Im not sure as there will be a lot of diesel in the exhaust.... Lets see (That car is for kids to learn in and an Emergency one for Ex - and me - if we need, its too low value to lose more value at the moment).
Youngest sons driving lessons (11 for the price of 10) booked so need the car legal.

Enough of stuff anyway.
Anyway  - Here is that pic of me
(https://i.imgur.com/8RjxLhO.png?1)

There we go then, Mojo and self perception restored before meeting with Mum n Dad tomorrow. I still might leave a trace of eyeliner on though... (Im still a little naughty.. ;D )

God bless and good night

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Now where would we be without a bit of naughty. Hope the support group is good, cant find one close to me. Car should be OK for emissions once its hot and exhaust clears, HC might read a bit high . Glad your getting some self belief, do what I do and don't give a fig!!!Its there problem not yours. XXXXXX

Davina

Far from the ramblings of an old dear you are spot on with your comments.

Quote from: davina61 on July 18, 2018, 04:19:11 PM
Now where would we be without a bit of naughty. Hope the support group is good, cant find one close to me. Car should be OK for emissions once its hot and exhaust clears, HC might read a bit high . Glad your getting some self belief, do what I do and don't give a fig!!!Its there problem not yours. XXXXXX

Yes hope so - Hydrocarbons will be high but its been on the equivalent of about 10 minutes on the starter motor over the last couple of months so there will be quite a bit to get rid of and we don't have the chance of a blast down the local dual highway to clear it.
Reminds me of back in the day when I thought a bit of 2-stroke oil in the petrol and down the exhaust would stop it from rotting in my 250 Honda 4 stroke (it did do that at least until the bike was stolen and torched) so I set off (mid teens mind you) to school and soon the whole of the road behind me was in a deep 2-stroke cloud.... I thought it very funny but was like burning cooking oil by the gallon. If you have ever seen a poorly H1/2 Kawasaki 2 stroke max out and burn oil this was like 100 times worse. But it was Bel-Ray oil so it smelt really good (to me anyway)..
Enough of my random ramblings,

God bless and sleep well

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :-* :-* :laugh: :laugh: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :D

Like a Red X decoke, towing a bonfire time

Quick update; Corsa car back with MOT. Still blew  some diesel smoke out but I took it down the dual carriageway and that's cleared it all out, runs like a little beauty now.

So I went for lunch with Mom and Dad, which was really nice, had salmon and anchovies, on a Caesars salad (less the croutons) with diet tonic water ice and lemon (still like to suck all the juice out of lemons but then wash away with the drink as its quite acidic of course and my teeth are bad enough anyway). Parents treated me to this meal, and we had a good chat about general things whilst eating.
When we got home from the restaurant I had a long chat with my Mum telling her some of the details of how we feel and what we often do to counter the growing Dysphoria, the shame and the guilt. She was quite accepting and kept passing me tissues as I was bawling my eyes out by this time (Pfffff...  emotions not under control again). We just hugged each other for quite a while and kept telling each other how much we loved each other. She asked about why I hadn't talked to her before, even a long time ago. and I explained all about the guilt making it impossible to do, and the barbaric way Trans were treated by some Doctors at the time I was young. I was aware quite early on of some of the aversion therapies that were sometimes used and such like.
Eventually we went through to the kitchen and my Dad came in and we talked again quite candidly and Dad just asked questions and stuff. He was very up front with questions and accepted all my answers. He said that meeting today, just with me, was a really big deal for them and they would get to understand and accept me. I thought that was very positive.
Before I left for home, Mum asked if I minded if they let other people know, and I just said that I didn't mind at all, just to let me know who they told.
They know my name now as well.

Well better get some tea going - cauliflower rice and a little chicken curry I think... maybe a glass of white wine..

Needless to say Im in a good place at the moment  ;D

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

@Katie Again
Dear Katie:  I just have to bust in here on your thread to tell you that I am really enjoying following your updates... your random ramblings are a snapshot of your life's events, and I am happy that you trust all of us on the forums enough that you will share those details with us.

Your latest pictures are nice for all of us to see and to rejoice with you about the progress that you are making with your journey.

Well, that is certainly good news that you reported about meeting with your mom and dad...  I love that you also reported that you had more conversation with your dad when he came into the kitchen and he asked more questions and appeared to be accepting you and your transition decisions. 

I like your last sentence.... " Needless to say Im in a good place at the moment   ;D"

Keep on keeping on and please continue to frequently treat your readers and followers with your updates.
Hugs,
Danielle

***Needless to say Im in a good place at the moment .... that is a nice place to be!!!!
.

Wow Katie the lunch you just had with your parents was very significant - and well done!  There is so much you can now park in your past and move forward with life as you best see fit. 

Dearest Danielle and Kendra

Yes its been a good day. My Ex-wife just came round and I recounted the whole story to her and she was very much of the opinions you girls have.

I know that the forum is regarded as open, but that's part of my coming out to the world. I'm a transwoman in the making and I'm getting over the issues that I have, one by one. Sometimes I can be too frank about my issues and I hope I don't offend anyone, also my typing skills aren't particularly good, or my punctuation, spelling, etc (working too much on Spreadsheets, Gantt charts and databases to bother getting the simple things right - must up my game there I think).

If anyone reads this, like so many other personal threads on the forums, then hopefully it will help them to see or understand that the mental barriers that we, as Trans, often put up, are barriers that we can overcome, as they are mostly self-imposed barriers. Once you realise that, and if you are careful, then they can be overcome. I will meet resistance and negatives on my journey I am sure, but they are, and will be, small, especially compared to where I am going, and indeed, where I am now.

When I got home my Dad rang me, and thanked me for coming over and talking to them. He said he realised how difficult that must have been, and he called himself 'of the older generation' (what? Im 56..!!), and in this case needed to step up and get up to date. Obviously I deeply thanked him for letting me come over and present my case to them and that his acceptance of the situation had made a really big difference to me, and lifted a load of weight from me. He was so sweet, it got my nose and eyes going again... I do so love the big guy  ;D

Phew what an emotional day...

Wow what a really, really, really, really good day  ;D ;D ;D :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: ;D ;D

I think I need a rest for a bit...

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

PS I don't mind anyone posting replies and comments here, I need advice and mentoring after all I'm still relatively new here..

That's made me happy, its good your folks are behind you. That makes things "easier" for you, as to advice looks like you don't need any love. Don't talk to me about tiping and speeling mistcks  , thanks for spell checker , need to scan my blood tests so I can email them but the laptop has "forgotten " the printer after a failed update (left it loading and battery went flat) . take care XXXXX

I am so happy for you, Katie.

Not only have you had a frank discussion with your Mum and Dad, but also they seem to understand the position you are in (and have been in all your life) as regards the GD and the previous ignorance of society and they completely accept you and wish to learn more. They call you by your true name.

Yesterday really must have been awesome!

Wishing you continued happiness.

Hugs

Pamela  xx

So nice to have your parents on board Katie. That was one of my biggest concerns and I couldn't let my family know until after I talked with her in person. My wife's dad has been great even if he tends to ask the wrong questions. I'll give him that at 90.
My mom was amazing when I told her, she needed a picture of us together. Your story and your ramblings are fun to read.
Keep moving forward as the strong woman you are

Small update today, Had a lazy morning as last day of my holiday, taking youngest son for a meal to celebrate the end of his school year. I will be going in 'Drab'.
Also Ex was off work today and surprised me with a call late morning to ask to go for a walk before youngest son came home from school. Even though I had a few items planned I decide that I needed at least some exercise today. So we set off a walk for a few miles round the village borders. I didn't take my mobile (jeans are getting tighter around the bum area) so couldn't take any pictures. Stopped at farm shop/tea toom for a cuppa and a light lunch (BLT with dry cured bacon and side salad- OMG that was so tasty...) which I treated her to. Had long chats about nothing in particular - you may find if we ever meet that when I get used to someone then on occasion its difficult to get a work in edgeways to the conversation - and thoroughly enjoyed it. The walk only lasted about 2 hours including the stop, but there was zero wind or clouds, a glorious East Midlands day (as they all are of course). As I had Cami, T-shirt and light woollen hoodie on, I got somewhat warm/boiling, which was OK as Im carrying too much water at the moment and happy to sweat it off. This resulted in the sweaty pic below (If its too revealing then Im sure the mods will delete it).

(https://i.imgur.com/RFsD5UI.png)

I love this pic as it also highlights 6 months HRT chest growth for me, but I still need to loose the tummy fat.. + and - here then..

Finally my consultant has upped my patch strength by 50% as my E level had dropped (see earlier posts), so 2 patches now, at this rate Ill look like someone's sticker collection - that's a point, why don't they put nice images on the patches, unicorns, flowers, rainbows (!), etc as an option as they are otherwise quite bland and still visible.

Well that's it from me I think (maybe later I don't know).

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel:

Great pic, Katie!  You are obviously developing well.

Quote from: Donna on July 20, 2018, 06:56:06 AM
So nice to have your parents on board Katie. That was one of my biggest concerns and I couldn't let my family know until after I talked with her in person. My wife's dad has been great even if he tends to ask the wrong questions. I'll give him that at 90.
My mom was amazing when I told her, she needed a picture of us together. Your story and your ramblings are fun to read.
Keep moving forward as the strong woman you are

Dear Donna, thanks for the comments, especially as I realise that I need pics of me with my Mum and Dad as soon as they are comfortable with that. Thanks for the reminder :D.
Im glad that it all worked out for you as well. Its such a good feeling when it goes well with family. My heart goes out to those that aren't as blessed as us, you know I'd help if I could. (Edit; See the last sentence of this post)
Strong? I really appreciate your compliment very much and it has somewhat touched me and my eyes are welling up again.. Thank you.

Quote from: pamelatransuk on July 20, 2018, 06:24:17 AM
Not only have you had a frank discussion with your Mum and Dad, but also they seem to understand the position you are in (and have been in all your life) as regards the GD and the previous ignorance of society and they completely accept you and wish to learn more. They call you by your true name.

Yesterday really must have been awesome!

Dear Pamela, yes it was the most awesome of days for me. It has really helped me to move forward and especially so underlining  and confirming the hope I had that my parents would support me.

Everyone is being so kind to me, I can hardly believe it really.

But, baby steps....

Finally my consultant has upped my E patches by 50% , lets see if I can ever hope to control the level of emotions that will come with that.

Its been a great week, and life is good. I wish you all to have the same feelings as I do at the moment.

Thanks everyone, this site is helping me so much, lets keep it going (contribute as we are very much behind with funding again, this is from me and not any of the Admin team, I just really appreciate the site).

Luv n Hugz for everyone

Katie

;D ;D :-* :-* :-* ??? ??? ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Quote from: KathyLauren on July 20, 2018, 10:08:04 AM
Great pic, Katie!  You are obviously developing well.

;D

Thank you for saying so

;D ;D ;D

(cant stop grinning)

Luv n Hugz

Katie

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :-* ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

@Katie Again
Dear Katie:  
Wow-whee, your update with your latest picture is terrific.   For only 6 months of HRT you are progressing very well indeed...  I am impressed,  as you no doubt are....   your Cami picture shows that very well!!!!

Your updates about what is going on in your life and your transition... are just getting better and better!!!!
Thank you for keeping your followers and readers "abreast" of your progress.  (pun intended)

Hugs and hugs,
Danielle

Final comments today as Im getting ready for tomorrow (nails, purse, sorting out makeup etc) - out in jeans (skinnies) tomorrow with light blue trainers with Flamingo motifs, long top - just below hips - with boat neck, horizontal stripe (thin blue/white), bell sleeves (has an embroidered light but red rose sort of motif at the bottom edges, quite cute really). Hope that describes it properly. Really need a jacket as I am a bit deep chested but haven't got one yet for summer - may take furry hooded rain coat as its finally rained here tonight and may do tomorrow. Ill see if someone can take a picture tomorrow as I look OK from the front at least..
Dinner out with youngest son was a real pleasure. I think I just need to reconnect with him by getting him to spend time away from his PC and games and more time with me or his Mom, and we will be OK.
Anyway back to tonight, we both had steak, his with chips and I had a salad, giving him my onion rings for his grilled tomato. As we were in a reasonably crowded pub, with about 30 people all talking and making happy noises, someone gently playing a guitar, and about 8 dogs making doggie noises (love my local pubs, this one has a wood burning fire near the bar in winter, mmm toasty) we could converse easily and we talked about his week, what he was doing over the summer school holidays and what we could do together over the coming weeks (bowling, cinema, golf/driving range etc etc) and then we talked about my amazing week which he was really pleased for me about my progress. He wants to go see my parents/his grandparents more and we agreed he would be a perfect foil to me in order to get me alone with either parent as necessary. AHA! I though, a 'Brother in Arms'.. looks good. Unfortunately he is aware that if anyone at school finds out about me then he will most likely be beaten up and/or bullied, sad but true, as the school has gone downhill a lot recently. So I do need to try and keep a lowish profile and he wont be visiting me until the nights draw in.
But we had a really nice couple of hours and certainly started to get those bonds re-growing.
I think Im doing well there again.

Life is still good and I'm loving it.

So Ill let you know what happens tomorrow then.

Its a glass of cheap red wine in a minute tonight, maybe a bit of cheese and biscuit (I know that doesn't help the weight but I love my Wensleydale cheese..)

Hope you all get your wishes tonight, Luv you all and Hugz for everyone

Katie

;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

@Katie Again
Dear Katie: 
Certainly a terrific update... I love how you detailed your day...  getting ready with all the things a woman has to do...    "nails, purse, sorting out makeup etc"  ... and what you are thinking and figuring out what to wear ...   "out in jeans (skinnies) tomorrow with light blue trainers with Flamingo motifs, long top - just below hips - with boat neck, horizontal stripe (thin blue/white), bell sleeves (has an embroidered light but red rose sort of motif at the bottom edges, quite cute really)."
   
I am thinking that your readers and followers will want to see a picture or pictures!!!

It was nice to hear of the enjoyable dinner and events with your son....  I am glad that was a good experience.

I really liked your last 3 sentences.....

          > Life is still good and I'm loving it.

           >So Ill let you know what happens tomorrow then.

          > Its a glass of cheap red wine in a minute tonight, maybe a bit of cheese and biscuit (I know that doesn't help the weight but I love my Wensleydale cheese..)

Thank you for posting and for keeping your thread updated with your interesting endeavors!!!
Hugs,
Danielle

Hi
Had an interesting time yesterday - the support group wasn't well attended, just the 6 of us and my party was 3 strong. No pics of the girls as they didn't want them taking, but here is one of me when I got back - I think my description of my top does it justice and not this picture;
                            (https://i.imgur.com/CZ506jW.png)
Everyone was really nice and we all chatted and made friends over a nice cuppa tea. It seems that they have held groups before but they weren't well attended as they were above the main supermarket in the town and having to wait outside the entrance in order to be 'buzzed in' put a lot of members off specially those who really needed help with their issues or were still closeted.
Spent half the time debating the changes to the structure of the NHS GIC's that is being proposed. One of the group leads has been invited to respond directly on it, but there are quite a few issues with it. Personally it looks like people putting more middle managers in rather than sorting out the real issues which are the shortage of suitably qualified staff. Solving that would reduce the waiting times down. I personally expect over 2 years wait , maybe 2 1/2 years before my first appointment. I don't have the funds to go private and company insurance specifically excludes TG issues (not certain if that's legal anymore).
Anyway back to me, and as this was the last real night of my holiday as today will be finishing cleaning the house, weekly service on the car, and getting back into work mode, pick up emails etc, then I decided to have a nice meal - Filet steak and a little cauliflower, sauce and a juicy tomato.
                            (https://i.imgur.com/I1V1mJv.png)

That was yummy.

Well I expect my recent flurry of posts will diminish now as I will have less time to check up and type up, but I will be popping in and out to catch up with you all I'm sure.

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D :-* :-*

You missed out on a wicked pub crawl Friday night!!!! Stayed off it yesterday as picked my new (old as known her since she was 14) friend up and took her back. Waiting for a text to get her again to see her relation play. yes back to work tomorrow for me as well(sucks!!) Looks like you had a good week.

Quote from: Katie Again on July 22, 2018, 05:14:09 AM
Hi
Had an interesting time yesterday - the support group wasn't well attended, just the 6 of us and my party was 3 strong. No pics of the girls as they didn't want them taking, but here is one of me when I got back - I think my description of my top does it justice and not this picture;
                            (https://i.imgur.com/CZ506jW.png)
Everyone was really nice and we all chatted and made friends over a nice cuppa tea. It seems that they have held groups before but they weren't well attended as they were above the main supermarket in the town and having to wait outside the entrance in order to be 'buzzed in' put a lot of members off specially those who really needed help with their issues or were still closeted.
Spent half the time debating the changes to the structure of the NHS GIC's that is being proposed. One of the group leads has been invited to respond directly on it, but there are quite a few issues with it. Personally it looks like people putting more middle managers in rather than sorting out the real issues which are the shortage of suitably qualified staff. Solving that would reduce the waiting times down. I personally expect over 2 years wait , maybe 2 1/2 years before my first appointment. I don't have the funds to go private and company insurance specifically excludes TG issues (not certain if that's legal anymore).
Anyway back to me, and as this was the last real night of my holiday as today will be finishing cleaning the house, weekly service on the car, and getting back into work mode, pick up emails etc, then I decided to have a nice meal - Filet steak and a little cauliflower, sauce and a juicy tomato.
                            (https://i.imgur.com/I1V1mJv.png)

That was yummy.

Well I expect my recent flurry of posts will diminish now as I will have less time to check up and type up, but I will be popping in and out to catch up with you all I'm sure.

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D :-* :-*

@Katie Again
Dear Katie:  Thank you for posting your update and newest picture after your support group meeting.  Even though it was not well attended, you went and got involved. 
Personally I find that in smaller group settings it is easier and much more personal to get involved in meanful ways with just a few people at a time in a much more intimate setting.

Your pictured dinner looked very good, I am now hungry!!!

Again, thank you for posting your promise updates.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Quote from: davina61 on July 22, 2018, 07:50:31 AM
You missed out on a wicked pub crawl Friday night!!!! Stayed off it yesterday as picked my new (old as known her since she was 14) friend up and took her back. Waiting for a text to get her again to see her relation play. yes back to work tomorrow for me as well(sucks!!) Looks like you had a good week.

Dear Davina, Sorry to miss it, it sounds like it was a hoot. Yes I take days off the sauce quite often nowadays and not because of a pub crawl the day before!!!   ;D
Yes was brilliant week, punctuated by lovely responses and comments from all my friends here.

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on July 22, 2018, 10:53:20 AM
@Katie Again
Dear Katie:  Thank you for posting your update and newest picture after your support group meeting.  Even though it was not well attended, you went and got involved. 
Personally I find that in smaller group settings it is easier and much more personal to get involved in meanful ways with just a few people at a time in a much more intimate setting.

Your pictured dinner looked very good, I am now hungry!!!

Again, thank you for posting your promise updates.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Dear Danielle, Thanks for your comments, and I fully concur about smaller group settings, allows us to make better contacts rather than a general 'hello' sort of night. I did enjoy it though, its good to see people wanting to get involved with these things, it can only make the system better by listening to the end customers (us).

Haha, sorry to say that the meal is all gone. Might do Leek Au Gratin tomorrow, I feel a few days without meat and red meat in particular will do me good. All I had to day was a coffee and small yogurt drink for breakfast, 2 slices of melon (Cantaloupe I think) and a good sized tomato for lunch and finally a slice of chicken, boiled egg, another tomato and about 1/2 cube inch of Wensleydale. Eating all the bits up at the moment. (Trying to 'eat like a bird' as I need to drop a few dress sizes..)

Well I'm ready for work, done my hours walk today (very sweaty) but not looking forwards to a muggy smelly office with 300 engineers in it working away tomorrow... Its going to be hot for the UK as well.. No Aircon, and open doors not allowed. I will be monitoring the temperature.

Also I wonder if anyone has outed me whilst I was off, Ill let you know,,

Still loving life

Luv N Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel:

Hi, sorry not posting for a bit, have a few family issues to try and sort out.
Keep checking in though  ;D
BTW not outed at work but one of my engineers is moving in a rental tomorrow on my 'cul de sac' (dead end street) meaning I will have to pass his house several times a day. To avoid possibly embarrassing comments at work I took him aside in a meeting room and explained my situation. He immediately said that that was OK and he would keep quiet.
And here is the interesting part, his son is TG (18) and they don't care less as a family, as he is happy CD at the moment, but understand that its not always the same for older girls arriving in the world.

I didn't expect that...

So someone else at work who is very much OK with knowing about me, and wishes me the best.
As I am on weight loss again after putting it on (boosts my confidence), maybe I need to really plan for coming out at work and going properly full time. I will have to anyway but don't want to rush it as it needs to be a one way ticket and not to go and regret it.

Anyway I have to go to bed now as I may be needed in the night on Family issues.

Take care all and sleep well

Lub and Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ( :( :( :()  :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :angel: :angel:

@Katie Again:
Dear Katie:  I am wishing you well with the way that you handle your impending family issues...  I really hope that you and "them" will be able to come to an amicable solution or compromise of sorts.

Ah, yes the work situation, when you do come out at work and perhaps a later you go full time I can tell you from my experience that it will be like a ONE TON weight is lifted off of your shoulders.

All of your readers and followers are your biggest fans... we are wishing you success in all areas of you life.
Hugs and hugs, get a good sleep tonight.
Danielle

Quote from: Katie Again on July 25, 2018, 04:27:26 PM
To avoid possibly embarrassing comments at work I took him aside in a meeting room and explained my situation. He immediately said that that was OK and he would keep quiet.
And here is the interesting part, his son is TG (18) and they don't care less as a family, as he is happy CD at the moment, but understand that its not always the same for older girls arriving in the world.

I didn't expect that...

So someone else at work who is very much OK with knowing about me, and wishes me the best.

Lub and Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ( :( :( :()  :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :angel: :angel:

Katie

I am so happy you have a supporter at work and that he will not "out" you. That must be a relief but you'll get a greater relief when in your own time you go fulltime.

Indeed times are changing thank God; younger people are more understanding - I agree the barrier often is with people of our "middle" age aswell as those older than us.

Hugs

Pamela

Quote from: Katie Again on July 25, 2018, 04:27:26 PM
Hi, sorry not posting for a bit, have a few family issues to try and sort out.
Keep checking in though  ;D
BTW not outed at work but one of my engineers is moving in a rental tomorrow on my 'cul de sac' (dead end street) meaning I will have to pass his house several times a day. To avoid possibly embarrassing comments at work I took him aside in a meeting room and explained my situation. He immediately said that that was OK and he would keep quiet.
And here is the interesting part, his son is TG (18) and they don't care less as a family, as he is happy CD at the moment, but understand that its not always the same for older girls arriving in the world.

I didn't expect that...

So someone else at work who is very much OK with knowing about me, and wishes me the best.
As I am on weight loss again after putting it on (boosts my confidence), maybe I need to really plan for coming out at work and going properly full time. I will have to anyway but don't want to rush it as it needs to be a one way ticket and not to go and regret it.

Anyway I have to go to bed now as I may be needed in the night on Family issues.

Take care all and sleep well

Lub and Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ( :( :( :()  :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :angel: :angel:

When I let work know I was coming out it was a concerning conversation. I just let them know in late February 18 and all they asked was to have a little heads up as to when I would show up as Donna. At this point I was dressing almost full time female ( jeans and plain blouses and very light makeup). About a week later I got my hair and the next day I called them on my way in that Donna would be at work. I've been accepted by 99.9% of the complex residents and all of the board with out issues. As Danielle said it is a massive weight lifted off your shoulders and once it's done you will feel great.
Best of luck moving forward and enjoy the journey

Quote from: pamelatransuk on July 26, 2018, 03:44:14 AM
Katie

I am so happy you have a supporter at work and that he will not "out" you. That must be a relief but you'll get a greater relief when in your own time you go fulltime.

Indeed times are changing thank God; younger people are more understanding - I agree the barrier often is with people of our "middle" age aswell as those older than us.

Hugs

Pamela

Dear Pamela, thank you for your supportive words, and I agree that the younger generation are so much more supportive - read on why..

Quote from: Donna on July 28, 2018, 06:16:38 PM
When I let work know I was coming out it was a concerning conversation. I just let them know in late February 18 and all they asked was to have a little heads up as to when I would show up as Donna. At this point I was dressing almost full time female ( jeans and plain blouses and very light makeup). About a week later I got my hair and the next day I called them on my way in that Donna would be at work. I've been accepted by 99.9% of the complex residents and all of the board with out issues. As Danielle said it is a massive weight lifted off your shoulders and once it's done you will feel great.
Best of luck moving forward and enjoy the journey

Dear Donna
Yes I am considering my options but as a senior manager I need to make sure that those reporting to me don't have an issue, so please read on.. Thanks for your reassuring comments as well.  :angel:

So latest update;

Came out (hate that phrase) to the best of my engineers who we have been supporting through college and is a real star in the department, he is also a section leader although he prefers the engineering. He will be my No1 Technical Manager in a few years..
Anyway he was really inquisitive, no negative words at all, and vowed to keep it to himself although some others know, until I am ready to go full time. He is really sweet, has his own steam roller and carriage  (at 28..) and so loves engineering. We have a healthy mutual respect as I am the 'umbrella' that keeps all the stuff from senior managers coming down the line to the engineers, and he knows it, and appreciates it as it allows them all to engineer. Anyway he only had positive words, highlighted some in the immediate business colleagues that wouldn't be accepting (I know that anyway) and told me to ignore them.
I was so relived at his responses, and Im not sure if I really have anything to worry about at work generally. Seems so far, with those I work with, there isn't an issue. Mind you they are almost all male, and the issue of toilets etc still has to be sorted with my female colleagues although they legally don't have any say. That's for later anyway.
That was the positive.
Now for the negative.
I have issues with my eldest son, nothing to do with my transition, and I can not post them here. needless to say this is causing me immense issues, that I have to sort them out as a priority. Period. I will post on here when I can as a result.
Also another issue is that I had a long talk with my Mum after visiting her at the weekend, and she and/or Dad seem to have changed their tact. Apart from still viewing me and my separated wife as a couple still (I take her and my youngest son down to visit as it saves fuel and stuff), I think my parents think my transition will blow over and don't want to tell any more family. At all.... Sorry that isn't their choice as I said to my Mum. She sounded a little hesitant, but Im not a pre -pubescent child trying to workout who I am. I know who I am and accept it. They both need to realise that even if they don't accept it.
Older Parents, there's a funny thing. They still sweep stuff under the carpet that they don't understand, and if the truth be told, I can understand that. They know they have limited time left and don't want to muddy their lives with my issues. I'm fine with that, just they need to accept me or not and move on.

I will wait a bit longer for them to actually make a move towards understanding or accept or not. Then I will need to be a little more self centred and move on myself. Still love them though and really don't want them to go negative on me.

So, like everyone, + and - sometimes, with + that are - and - that are +, Ill get over it and still be here tomorrow..

Still loving life, and with increased Meds I feel I an mellowing out my in my out look and whole persona even more.

Next Major milestone - having bathroom refitted so I can have a stand up shower (walls aren't tiled... but have showerhead...) Mid Sept. Might post picture.. Also eldest son back this weekend and we (Ex and I) will have a face to face with him, cards on table type showdown...... Not looking forwards to that as he is so Alpha, stubborn, gorgeous (so I am told but its all from me) male.

Anyway that's my pure unadulterated drivel for tonight.

Will post when I can (or pic of shower facility..)

Luv n Hugz

Katie

;D ;D ;D ;D ??? ??? :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Just make sure your wearing lots of bubbles for your shower pic, sorry you mean a pic of your shower ;D Lucky with my mum and older relatives accepting , once your mum gets her head around the fact its a new you bet she will come around. Keep on plodding along, hugs D

Katie

I am sorry to see what has happened but have witnessed it before - parents accepting at first hearing and then pondering and deciding not to accept. Obviously you want them to accept you now or in the near future; however I agree with Davina - if they don't accept you in the near future, when they see the true you and how happy you will be, they could well have "third thoughts" and accept you and mean it.

Good luck with everything.

Hugs

Pamela

Quote from: pamelatransuk on August 03, 2018, 04:20:56 AM
Katie

I am sorry to see what has happened but have witnessed it before - parents accepting at first hearing and then pondering and deciding not to accept. Obviously you want them to accept you now or in the near future; however I agree with Davina - if they don't accept you in the near future, when they see the true you and how happy you will be, they could well have "third thoughts" and accept you and mean it.

Good luck with everything.

Hugs

Pamela

Quote from: davina61 on August 02, 2018, 05:39:06 PM
Just make sure your wearing lots of bubbles for your shower pic, sorry you mean a pic of your shower ;D Lucky with my mum and older relatives accepting , once your mum gets her head around the fact its a new you bet she will come around. Keep on plodding along, hugs D

Thanks ladies, a few things I need to post then

Firstly bubbles in shower;

(https://i.imgur.com/jsMCLew.jpg)

Notice Im lying down..
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D


And here is why - My lovely 'shower';

(https://i.imgur.com/zrhq7e4.png)

Yes - Horizontal showering, unless I want to strip the wall of its plaster, get loads of black mould and the resultant lung disease...

Seriously though I will post shots of my small but cute derriere bathroom when its done...

And then my pre-penultimate bit for tonight is my main Friday night meal so as Im a 70's girl its either steak and chips (garlic butter on steak, and I have posted pics of these steaks before) or this (but used to be served in a champagne/Goblet sort of glass thing if I remember..);

(https://i.imgur.com/XQ0rZTT.png)

The ubiquitous prawn cocktail... Shown here with lashings of Prosecco on the side  >:-) >:-)

Love it. :angel: :angel:

Penultimate bit; A comment by one of my dear lady friends at work whom I am out to incidentally, regarding me getting covered in bruises moving my dismantled bed down stairs so that I can exchange for my brand new Ottoman bed (its very very comfortable) when the new bed is delivered (I slipped and went AOT (English saying ask Devina..) and head butted the banister as well, not a pretty sight)was that I should get a partner and get him to do the heavy stuff. Was a bit stunned but she really regards me as very female I think so that sort of fits (I don't look it though, just she is more comfortable with me as Katie at work). So  went into deep thought sort of mode and I honestly think I don't know how I will end up with regards to sexuality, which is different to a year ago. And actually I dont mind, I just need to find the right one. Again that shook me in that I am thinking I need a partner at all, but in fact I think I will do. I miss the hugz  above all.
Getting misty eyed here,,,
I may dream a bit tonight...

Le Bed (Canadian introduction..);

(https://i.imgur.com/ok3umKG.png)

Anyway, ultimate bit is Eldest son, with whom I have undisclosed issues with, but he accepts me so its something personal to him so not for here, should be here Sat night. Yay - I will get hugz, and as he is taller and a handsome chap even if I say so, It will give me some cheer. We will try to have a sit down with him to sort things out, but lets see, he may be the stubborn male  and not care or want to discuss.. Pff.....

One more week and I'm of for a few day I think (may need to cancel due to work project deliveries but lets see).

Take care all

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :police: :police: :police: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: >:-) >:-) >:-) :angel: :angel:

Nice bubbles!  :)

I still remember enough British to know what AOT means.  Be careful, hun, female skin bruises easily.

I hope your visit from your son goes well.

Quote from: KathyLauren on August 03, 2018, 03:18:21 PM
Nice bubbles!  :)

I still remember enough British to know what AOT means.  Be careful, hun, female skin bruises easily.

I hope your visit from your son goes well.

Dear Kathy
Yes it seems im learning that the hard way, and as I am on Warfarin blood thinners its even more noticeable. I have to stop my dad from grabbing me and hugging me as his son (no comment) as he marks my arms like no ones business but again, hes still in denial I think.

Luv n Hugz
Katie

:police: :police: :police: :police: :police: :police: :police:(for Dad)
:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:(for everyone - inc Dad really)

(AOT means Ankle Over Top of head (ahem...) in case you wondered) - polite version.
KT :angel:

So I'm a bit upset tonight, but ill get over it.
Ex picked eldest son up, but instead of bringing him over so we could all talk about various issues (some major..) she decided to take him to her house and miss me out altogether.
I was a bit taken aback by this and hope it isn't a hardening of relations as that would not be nice and I don't want that. Hopefully Im reading too much into this.
So we will meet up tomorrow, at some time, don't know when though.
So all my plans of seeing some colleagues at a steam rally were dropped today waiting for son to let us know when he was coming back and also now again for tomorrow (had rearranged the meet up for tomorrow).
I suppose I had better get used to being 'second fiddle' going forwards, just occasionally its a bitter pill. I so much miss his hugs though.
Well that's enough ramblings again.
Tomorrow I suppose is gardening the dust bowl that is my back garden....

luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel:

@Katie Again
Aweee, so very sorry to hear your bad news report.
I trust that you will work through all of this in due time.

You can work out your frustrations by working in your dust bowl garden!!!

Thanks for your update.  Please try yo stay upbeat and positive in spite of the current issues.
Hugs and well wishes.
Danielle

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on August 04, 2018, 06:32:40 PM
@Katie Again
Aweee, so very sorry to hear your bad news report.
I trust that you will work through all of this in due time.

You can work out your frustrations by working in your dust bowl garden!!!

Thanks for your update.  Please try yo stay upbeat and positive in spite of the current issues.
Hugs and well wishes.
Danielle

@Danielle
Thanks hun, but I am OK,  after all im 56 and life has thrown many curve balls at me and Im still here  ;D

Its just a disappointment at the moment, and you know why from my PMs. Still the sun will rise tomorrow and we will all get on with life. There are many many more that are less fortunate than us anyway so I think Ill look for a support role somewhere. My Grandmother was in the Red Cross for 50+ years, and I am getting a copy of a picture of her riding am Indian Scout Motorcycle at Rudyard Lake in the early 1920s in the UK, cant have been that many around then in England. She never got paid for any work she did, ended up a commander or commodore or something. She lived until she was 99 and 10 months. She was a lovely woman, never spoke about her nursing during the 2nd WW or the English conflicts afterwards. If I can be half the woman she was then I will rest easy for eternity.
Wow- bit deep there, still its my inheritance that should have been all along.
Well enough. Hope Alaska is nice and warm, UK is warmish, not like Portugal/Spain (expected 45-47C..)
I think ill invest in a solar powered air conditioning unit.....or two

Luv N Hugz to everyone

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Hi everybody,

Well, more updates from my up and down journey

Eldest is back to Leicester , with some of his issues solved, good so far.

Youngest has started driving lessons so Im paying half but not towards the insurance for the Vauxhall Corsa 'C' SX 1.2 (2005 plate) that we bought a few years ago before the separation for the kids to learn to drive in. He's doing well .

Parents have talked to my Uncle and Aunt (my godparents - I am really surprised that they have done this as the seemed to want to not do anything at the moment), and they are saying all the good supportive stuff, but more importantly have in turn told my one and only female cousin, who in turn has sent me a letter so I have called her and have talked extensively with her about me, and she has been so really sweet, supportive and even wants to come over and talk to me face to face. I was somewhat of a help to her as she went through growing up and I hope helped her towards the wonderful life she has now (married to a really nice man, 3 gorgeous kids, and still has her career in Marketing.. cool).
So she wants to be there for me.. And she will be as I love her very much.

Finally, I decided to talk to HR at work.

Wow.

I did this with trepidation as I still have quite a way to go, but I did know that it would be unfair on the Company for me to waltz up and say I would be presenting as Katie after the weekend sometime (or that sort of thing).. not good or professional given the number of large projects I am involved in.
I was aware that the HR manager for the site had managed the introduction of a girl some years before, and recently supported an engineer going through the transition, so she would be aware of not only what it would mean for the company, but also the pressure and anxiety this time can give us, if not handled properly.
So I booked 30 mins for a personal discussion yesterday, and we both duly arrived at the meeting room. I gave her the best seat as I'm always polite (well usually anyway  :D).
As I have done in the past, I highlighted that this was a personal and private discussion, but then added that if we both agreed that this would be best recorded, then we would make it official. She still did not know what this was about. Anyway, I am usually direct on subjects concerning me, so I stated that I am trans and that I need to discuss the best way for me to transition in my current role at work and I needed her help. Well after a few seconds, her face changed from mild shock to a beautiful smile and the she was so reassuring, telling me of her previous times helping people transition, and that she understood generally what we have been through and that she wanted to make sure that I got the best transition possible at work. I was so happy to hear this, although as I have known her for almost 5 years, I wasn't surprised as she generally is emphatic towards people with genuine issues. So I told her briefly of my basic story, the trials and tribulations over the years, and my current position. She was so nice. I highlighted that I was out to some carefully selected close colleagues, and that they were concerned but OK with everything, and generally my family were also in this position.
So, we agreed that this would be done at my pace and by agreement only. She said she may want to let one site Director know, so that we were both covered, and that the diversity protocol was followed at the site. She will agree with me who that is over the next couple of weeks, and how we can fulfil and support the company policies.
I am to set up fortnightly meeting to discuss progress and plans as we get set for the big day, as it will be a few or several month off yet, but as I work across most sectors of the company, deeply involved with many people from finance, procurement, engineering, management (all sorts), operations and the suppliers themselves, (the site has about 2000 workers etc) then for my sake we need to have a good strategy.
With regards to acceptance, she saw no issues and that the women in 99% of cases would accept me anyway as most have worked with me and that I was well liked and regarded as a good person anyway.
Last comments from the HR manager was that she was really please that I had chosen to include her in my close friends group at work, and that she would make sure that this will all go well and that I was as comfortable as possible. This caused me to go a bit blubby, and she even apologised for that when she really didn't have to.
So, that bit done and I think it turned out nice, again..

I don't think I can top this lot for a while.

Oh, and going out for a meal with a good friend (a girl like me) on Monday night (its platonic friends with someone who has helped me a lot with my issues this year, so don't worry)

Roll on life  ;D ;D

Feeling good and feeling me (Yay)

Love and hugz

Katie, again

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Addendum;

Just noticed, 7 months HRT - the HR manager said that she had noticed for several months that I was growing my hair, that my face had softened somewhat (less anger wrinkles..) and that I had a permanent slight smile... This is all true.. and this all came together for her now.

Katie, again

;D ;D ;D

Quote from: Katie Again on August 10, 2018, 04:25:37 PM
> so I stated that I am trans and that I need to discuss the best way for me to transition in my current role at work and I needed her help. Well after a few seconds, her face changed from mild shock to a beautiful smile and the she was so reassuring, telling me of her previous times helping people transition, and that she understood generally what we have been through and that she wanted to make sure that I got the best transition possible at work.

Katie, WOW!!  This is huge news - and congratulations!  You clearly handled this the best way possible.

Kendra my dear
Well I' m trying to be strong and forceful but extremely empathic esp to our girls and boys
OMG , maybe I will get to be company trans ambassador (its a major Canadian Company) or whatever (if I have time ) lol
Hmmm ..

Katie, Again

:angel: :angel: :angel:

Someone add the  punctuation to my name please :)

Katie

Your latest story is the happiest and most uplifting one you have told to date.

I am literally celebrating for you myself - you have made my weekend!

Enjoy the weekend, the month and life as a whole!

Plenty of hugs to share today.

Pamela  xxxx

Well that was a nice surprise sat here in my lunch break at work, congrats . Hope it all works well and you will be full time before you know it. XXXXXXX Davina

Everyone.

Thanks for all the posts and PM's that you have all sent. So supportive so god bless and thank you all.

Yes was a bit of a "break though" week or two.

I still need to plan and make sure that it will all succeed, and another 2 or 3 stone in weight loss would help (E is such an evil princess with regards to weight loss..) so Don't expect me to start modelling or beauty queen stuff ever, I have an impossible journey there, I just want to be me and blend in but not hide if you know what I mean.

Luv n Hugz

Katie (Again)

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Hi
Out and about tonight. Went to the Swan at Fradley Junction, Burton on Trent tonight for a meal out with my good friend Tina. As she has a punishing work schedule, and I'm almost master of my own, we haven't been able to touch base for several weeks. So there was a lot of 'chin wagging', and she was quite amazed at everything I have been doing. She noted that I'm not going out on my own much if at all at the moment. Hmm. Lets see about that.
Well the pub is lovely, and the food good, but as I was driving, no G&T for me, just lime and soda (which I like a lot anyway). She is getting on with RLE and really enjoying it. But there again she is oh so much more outgoing than me.
Usual trepidation walking to car (In fact I was going to cancel it earlier in the day, usual GD stuff in my head, but I decided to try and put an outfit together from my meagre wardrobe and that cheered me up enough to got going), but once that was done  it was plain sailing. No bother parking , taking pictures (Mine are rubbish as usual, so Ill get Tina to send me some of hers), walking along the canal and into the pub. As usual a couple of looks  then nothing more. Anyone coming into the pub looked and moved on. So that was easy. Getting used to it now anyway. There were some youngish kids at the pub, but they were entertained by their mums so as not to focus on us, least that's the way it looked. And Im not being paranoid as that clearly happened. Don't care, its their issue not mine on this occasion.
Scampi and chips after a superb Pea and Mint soup. Well recommended. All that with drink for around £15. Mind you Tina ate half my chips as well as here own. Im sure she has hollow legs with the amount she eats, but I don't mind, chips are nice but should be rationed..
Well I dragged Tina away from 2 lovely ladies at the table next door with whom she had struck up a deep conversation with, about where they were from and where the good pubs are etc, was quite animated at times. When we got outside, a gaggle (?) of geese (Canadians I think) flew in formation at head height straight along the canal, wow that was beautiful to see. I will remember that in the late evening glow of the sun.
So back to my place for a Latte with my new machine.. Then I took Tina home as she lives a few miles away. That was a nice friendly evening.

Dad rang whilst we were discussing the excellent coffee, and has organised for me and youngest son to go clay shooting this Wednesday. Im looking forwards to that. I used to do a lot of rabbiting when I was younger and used to go after water rats with a 20-bore when younger (we lived sort of in the country, with a river bordering our land). Our poultry used to get taken by rats, foxes and badgers often so we had to defend them. Despite looking cute, foxes and badgers are nasty vicious thugs..

So Im OK with a 12 bore although its a long time since I did any serious shooting. Should be fun though.
So that leaves tomorrow - I really should get on with painting my Lounge/diner, and I need to deep clean the carpet as It looks like the previous people have smoked in the room. I prefer not to have that slight old fragrance. Lets see.

Looks like I wont get chance to get the Motorcycle MOT'd this holiday and the nights will soon start rolling in. Maybe next year.

So life goes on, ups and downs, but mainly up.

Here's a pic just taken of me - I've removed all my Jewellery, but I think you can see that I'm quite happy here  ;D ;D ;D

(https://i.imgur.com/R4SiTKO.png)

I take my leave then,

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :angel: :angel: ;D ;D

@Katie Again
I am so very glad that I stopped to read your update before I am about to sign off for a few hours.   Everything went so well for you.... great time out and about as Katie, and you and your sidekick Tina had such a wonderful time dinner, drinks, conversation, looking at the Canadian Geese, and Lattes for you and Tina at you home. 

.... and we are not finished yet.....   a phone call from your dad to go our bird hunting. Wonderful...  just watch out for the 12 gauge, as you are certainly aware it packs quite a bit more kick that the 20 gauge.   
I was tuning up my 12 gauge last year and loaded it with Magnum buck shot, when fired the barrel rise was almost uncontrollable and if I didn't have the shotgun firmly against my shoulder or body I would have gotten bruises for sure. 
After my 3 1/2 years of HRT I definitely don't have the body mass nor the muscle mass that I once had, so some of the firearms I am practicing with again seem to be like cannons now.

I love your happy and beautiful picture, you look wonderful in your dress, your nicely done hair and that great big smile is so disarming....   VERY LOVELY.

Thank you for sharing your good news post with all of your followers.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Katie

Glad to see you had another good evening out last night and that you are looking really happy and sounding so upbeat.

Danielle

Katie's meal reminded of your comments on a previous meal "What the heck is gammon?" but I know you googled and discovered what gammon is. Strange that gammon - the term  - is not used in US but I am sure you still eat it under another name there.

Hugs to you both

Pamela 

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on August 13, 2018, 06:09:59 PM
@Katie Again
I am so very glad that I stopped to read your update before I am about to sign off for a few hours.   Everything went so well for you.... great time out and about as Katie, and you and your sidekick Tina had such a wonderful time dinner, drinks, conversation, looking at the Canadian Geese, and Lattes for you and Tina at you home. 

.... and we are not finished yet.....   a phone call from your dad to go our bird hunting. Wonderful...  just watch out for the 12 gauge, as you are certainly aware it packs quite a bit more kick that the 20 gauge.   
I was tuning up my 12 gauge last year and loaded it with Magnum buck shot, when fired the barrel rise was almost uncontrollable and if I didn't have the shotgun firmly against my shoulder or body I would have gotten bruises for sure. 
After my 3 1/2 years of HRT I definitely don't have the body mass nor the muscle mass that I once had, so some of the firearms I am practicing with again seem to be like cannons now.
I love your happy and beautiful picture, you look wonderful in your dress, your nicely done hair and that great big smile is so disarming....   VERY LOVELY.

Dear Danielle, Yes, Im having a good time at the moment. Things are looking quite positive for  me in so many areas. I am glad that you enjoy my random notes about my life. It makes it worthwhile when you know people read and appreciate them.

Dear Pamela, yes, hopefully happiness is infectious so we can all benefit. I have sent a PM to you on your personal question by the way.


Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Hi Katie,

Your post from yesterday sounds like an absolutely wonderful time.  I would have to Uber or something though.  Lime and soda wouldn't do it for me with all those wonderful ales.  ;-)

Hi
Just to make sure you all see, I have changed my Forum name to Katie Jade as Katie Again was confusing some, as Again is not my surname, neither is Jade that's just my middle name. Love my names though, not far enough on to change them legally though (UK law is so bad on this)

Luv n Hugz
Katie (Jade)

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :-*

I love the name Katie Jade!  It has a nice rhythm to it.

Quote from: KathyLauren on August 15, 2018, 06:17:31 PM
I love the name Katie Jade!  It has a nice rhythm to it.

I do like it too 🌸🌸🌸

Thanks for the nice comments on my name.

Yes it does have a certain something about it for me anyway. A truly soulful name and I so love it. I have been calling myself it for decades.. My mom always said men should have 3 first names and girls 2.. Hmm, well at least Im happy with being me and some close people are starting to call me by my name as well so that's so absolutely cool/ good etc etc
Well im sure you know what I mean. Anyway I definitely need my beauty sleep so I'm of in a sec

Finally, Dad gave me a copy of a pic of my Gran today, astride her "Indian Powerplus", with racing bars in the early 1920s.. OMG I know where my love of bikes comes from.. She also passenger'd in a biplane for fun a few times about the same time.. so cool... She was a nurse for about 50 years with the red cross, Much respect for that...

I wont post a copy of that picture at the moment as it is very dear to me (I have mentioned in earlier posts somewhere. she left us 2 months before her 100th birthday, never was paid for a days work in her life but gave so much for free, what an absolute star), sorry misting up here (blubbing soon) so Ill call it a day.

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-*

Quote from: Katie Jade on May 20, 2018, 05:14:09 PM
Hi
I think I may like to share a few posts with you guys on my progress issues and generally my life as it progresses.

Summary so far;

55 years old and cant remember a time I didn't feel different..
Married 25 years and separated  start of March 18.
2 beautiful sons 17 and 20
Best friend is my separated wife -  very few friends since I have always internalised my 'gift' and avoided detection wherever possible until last year
HRT about 4 and a bit months I think (see timer below)

So, not posted anything in last couple of months as I couldn't use PC as I had both (yes both) eye lenses replaced due to cataracts, and due to a rotation of one of them had to undergo repair surgery earlier this week. But I can see now so that's good.

Situation with my best friend is that we are both active in bringing up our kids and that is where my main personal issues lie.

No 1 son has said he understands my transition and wishes me well, but today he admitted that he cant take the separation from my ex-wife at all.. not good
No2 son seems on the fence but he openly stated he doesn't like it to my ex-wife (we live separated atm)

So I'm getting my head around that one (or two).

Personally, I'm really good , T is so low they cant read it, E is 364 whatevers per ml, which is a bit low but has really changed my body a lot.

I am internally very happy and smile a lot - cry a lot at films and worry a lot about my nails which seem to break off every time I work on the bike or car,,, grrr

Weight loss has stopped. That's bad, lost 32 lb (was 40 but put weight on during the 2 months of surgery as I cant work out at all) need to loose another 32.. am 210 a the moment.

Finally my local Gender clinic has received the letter from my Doctor so I hope that I will get a positive response from them this week, but its 2 to 2.5 years for the first appointment here in the UK at my local centre..(that's why I have gone private initially as I couldn't stand waiting that long and then the 1 to 2 years real life experience required before getting hormones - 'What the Hell' I hear you cry - that's the UK regime at the moment as far as I understand)

Well that's enough from me - avidly reading loads of others life threads which to be honest are more exciting than mine.

Lot of love and Hugz
Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Love the new thread name too🌸🌸🌸

Not much happening at the moment.
Hair growth slowed right down, which is a pity as I still have a lot of grey to get rid of on my face...
Painting and decorating today, washing curtains, picking car up from garage (service and MOT).
Tomorrow off to support group and hopefully meet some new friends. Going on my own so more confident as I know where I am going this time. A short walk from the car park to the meeting should be ok.
My hair on my head is getting a pain as its loose and keeps blowing in my eyes. Im pretty much useless at hair control, so another skill to learn..

Playing around with eye make up yesterday, sort of a blue/purple/red thing going on. Looks like I have walked into a door or something. Still I'm getting a bit better at this (but not by much).
(https://i.imgur.com/E84Hl2u.png)

Ignore the eyebrows as they will get sorted when I go full time.

So not much happening, life goes on and its still good.

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel:

I ignored my eyebrows and then one day my electrologist offered to change them.  I said yes.  She's an electrologist for 20+ years and a woman 60+ years so I figured has the experience and I was right.  This was before I was full time.  Close friends immediately noticed the improvement, unprompted.  I didn't sense any odd reactions from anyone else. 

She did this gradually.  The change was very slight but made a very nice difference.  During several sessions for beard removal she visually moved my eyebrows up just slightly each time - carefully eliminating eyebrow hair below the brow line, never changed anything from mid to upper area. 

Quote from: Kendra on August 17, 2018, 08:55:04 AM
I ignored my eyebrows and then one day my electrologist offered to change them.  I said yes.  She's an electrologist for 20+ years and a woman 60+ years so I figured has the experience and I was right.  This was before I was full time.  Close friends immediately noticed the improvement, unprompted.  I didn't sense any odd reactions from anyone else. 

She did this gradually.  The change was very slight but made a very nice difference.  During several sessions for beard removal she visually moved my eyebrows up just slightly each time - carefully eliminating eyebrow hair below the brow line, never changed anything from mid to upper area.

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie.......
As @Kendra and I have previously talked about eyebrows recently on another thread, we both agreed that eyebrow shaping is a very important step, not only in passing, but also in our own self-affirmation.  It is one of the key visual clues to appearing and being female.

Oh.... and as others have mentioned to you.... your "new" name on here Katie Jade is very nice.... however I have missed seeing your thread several times lately because I came to fondly know you by your old name Katie Again.....   either way, I always enjoy exchanging thoughts and opinions with you... and I am an avid follower of your thread and your transition successes... and sometimes disappointments.   Your followers here on the Forums are your biggest fans.

Hugs and hugs,
Danielle

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on August 17, 2018, 11:00:33 AM
@Katie Jade
Dear Katie.......
As @Kendra and I have previously talked about eyebrows recently on another thread, we both agreed that eyebrow shaping is a very important step, not only in passing, but also in our own self-affirmation.  It is one of the key visual clues to appearing and being female.

Oh.... and as others have mentioned to you.... your "new" name on here Katie Jade is very nice.... however I have missed seeing your thread several times lately because I came to fondly know you by your old name Katie Again.....   either way, I always enjoy exchanging thoughts and opinions with you... and I am an avid follower of your thread and your transition successes... and sometimes disappointments.   Your followers here on the Forums are your biggest fans.

Hugs and hugs,
Danielle

Kendra and Danielle,
I thank you both for your nice comments. I fully agree that brows so much frame and make a face. I cant do much at the moment as its just a bit difficult at work due to starting to change too much anyway. My chest is my biggest give away so Im permanently wearing a sports jacket even in the hottest heatwave we have had here for a while (thanks be Autumn and Winter are on their way) as well as face softening, longer hair, etc, actually I think they must all be blind to not see what is going on (or they ae not saying). Whatever, it will happen when it does, controlled or uncontrolled, at least HR know I am transitioning now (I did post this before..).
Its just that I don't think I have too bad a general eyebrow shape considering (they are a bit uneven), and indeed I remove stray dark hairs when I feel like it (a lot at the moment), they just need sharpening when I am ready. The pic I posted was with untouched brows, they are a bit arched anyway.

My Electrolysist is 72 by the way, and thankfully she still has good sight, has treated many TG over the years and is so very nice. She did a patch test for Electrolysis on my right middle jaw line the other week and was pulling them out at about 10-15 sec intervals tops, some quicker. They were about 4 to 5 mm long (I had last shaved 30 hours before as I was due IPL), but she says I have strong deep follicles.. which I suppose is bad, more potential for ingrown to occur etc. And a lot are grey, so a few years to go for Elec... Not looking forwards to that, Im sure there must be a better way..

Anyway, painted gloss and silk emulsion on my Lounge /diner today, 2 coats of white, and only got a couple of drops on the carpet (I did cover carpet and furniture) which resulted in rigorous scrubbing to remove it (water based paints as Im a cheap-skate.. and too impatient for things to dry - clothes, paint, varnish etc..) So Im happy but aching at the moment.
So hopefully Im off to one of my support groups tomorrow afternoon, sited in the middle of a town some way from the carpark..), and it looks like a new neighbour maybe this weekend, meaning that I may have to clump past them in my booties and fineries tomorrow as they move in. Still, Im getting used to going through that 'zone' somewhat now.

Finally (really? - that seems to usually be a premature statement for me) Amazon Delivered the frame for my Grandma's picture so it is duly mounted and in a place of honour. I saw her 2 hrs before she passed (99 and 10 months) and my Dad said I was the last person she spoke to. Such an privilege and honour for me. So the picture is set next to a picture of my Mum and Dad on their scooter when they toured Europe whilst courting in the 50's, and one of my Ex and my boys when they were small. They are all placed so whenever I go upstairs I see them. A duplicate of my ex and boys is placed to be seen when I go downstairs as well. These are the good things that I have done in my life. It gives me hope.

Wow, sorry got a bit blubby then.

Ill call it a day for posting my stuff I think, just going to read recent posts elsewhere and make my usual sort of comments (often well meaning but blundering  ;D ;D)

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D :-*

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
I really enjoy your multi-subject updates... what you say clearly gives your followers a snapshot of your everyday life.  This is good because then we all know that you are "human" like the rest of us.

You had stated in your update:

Quote
Wow, sorry got a bit blubby then.

No worries, you can get a bit blubby whenever you wish...
...after-all it is your thread and by the way your followers like to read what you say.

Please keep your updates up to date!!!!
Hugs,
Danielle

The new neighbour thing, just had a load of folk move into the empty flats and so far have meet 2 of them . The one lot only in work clothes . Must see about getting my brows done as well ,only 5 weeks to go!!!

Third attempt at posting something today... may be brief

So Went to the start up support group that I went to a few weeks ago, there were more attendees there this time. There was a lot of talking, tea and a few biscuits as well. It was really nice. There were also 2 teenage girls there who were with an NHS nurse, and they we so inquisitive about everything, so conversations ranged from feelings, shoes, relationships, shoes, hobbies, shoes,, etc (Shoes). However they mainly talked to the post-op girls there, I was too busy making friends but would have talked with them both if they needed of course.

The local "bobbies"  dropped by as well so they know what was going on. They were lovely women and chatted to us for a bit. They were very reassuring.

So here I am when I got home - again I don't like taking pics in the group settings without prior agreement etc - another pic of me sitting down (I do that too much maybe);

(https://i.imgur.com/sXYfaNq.png)

The eagle eyed of you will see the pic of my Gran on the Indian PowerPlus (with flat handlebars - a racer maybe?) almost a Century ago.
Finally, and definitely finally, after my painting epic yesterday, my bbf (Ex) is coming over to help/teach me to do wallpapering. She always did it when we were living together and never let me get a chance. That will finish my main living room except for getting the carpets professionally cleaned.

Need a glass of wine and a good film now - so Cheerio!!

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
YES, even before I read all of your post I did indeed notice the picture and was going to ask about the motorcycle.  Wow, a pic of your gran on the Indian... Indian bikes were quite the motorcycle to have back then... of course, as you know, they are back in business making motorcycles again.

Regarding group photos anywhere, I am very careful to not have others pictured without their permission or lacking that I will "blur out" their faces.  It is the right thing to do, especially in a trans-group setting.

Hmm, wallpapering.....  when I did some of that I usually tried to get a pattern without having too many issues with matching the edges.   Some patterns are such that you can waste a foot or two on every strip that you put up just trying to match the edge patterns.   I had a married friend that told me that a good way to get a divorce or at the very least have a big argument is to hang wallpaper together.

Please relax and enjoy your wine and movie...
Thanks for another one of your fun updates.

Hugs,
Danielle

Danielle,
Wow you respond to my posts quickly, which is nice, but Im sure they aren't that interesting, just meanderings and bumbling for the most part, still its the day to day stuff we all do, and this is a sort of journal for me even though its sort of public.
But yes, she (Ex) wallpapered one bedroom wall for me a couple of months ago, and she was cussing after about 5 mins, but it gets stuff out of her system and makes the rest of the day good for her, so I will keep on requesting 'lessons' in wallpapering just to keep helping her (coughs.. ahem.. coughs again). She has a lot of perseverance, and I will always love her for that as I,,, well, probably wouldn't be here without that from her.
On to happier stuff, the wine had wine-fly/sour so it got poured away, so I'm on Mothers Ruin, i.e. Gin and Tonic + ice + fresh lemon slice (you may notice I love Lemons and Limes...)- low carbs so Im ok on that. I do have a spirit measuring cup, but it seems too small so I use a pint pot instead (joke..). I do realise that our livers take a beating from some of the necessary medicines we take, and from some of the exotic foods we eat, so I don't over indulge (not too much anyway), so try and take care of it.

Well that got a bit random, anyway I was a bit jealous of next door neighbour off out after a few 'loud' drinks with her friend tonight. Must do partying more I think (watch and learn to start though), so better see what outfits to wear for the Sept gathering of the Susan's UK 'branch'... MMM looking forwards to disappointing everyone there :). Well Ill try anyway (sack of potatoes mode maybe).

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel:

So decorating finished for the day, mainly done by me supported by my Ex as teacher. First wall papering in 56 years, Ive learnt so much recently for some reason...

So half way through (I jumped into it until I was reminded that I should be taking pictures) is here;

(https://i.imgur.com/gMIOLAQ.png)

And then as if by magic (about 2 hours later...);

(https://i.imgur.com/fYMLJSX.jpg)

And for reference as this is a lounge diner here's the other view from atop the TV (was a bit precarious);

(https://i.imgur.com/x8qcFB9.png)

Yay, done.

Or not..

Moving all the furniture reminded me that the carpet needs cleaning. The previous residents occasionally smoked (not certain what they smoked though) and I picked up the slight old stale smell you get, so its either a new carpet, but I cant afford that at the moment, or to rent a cleaner with some nice smelling carpet shampoo. So I'm carpet cleaning next but not until next weekend at the earliest. Oh such fun and joy awaits.... not.

Ok I'm off - I need to login to work and pick up probably 500+ emails from this week as I am taking no-work holidays now. And of course to cook and eat tea which will be a small steak with Cauliflower cheese again. I have half of one in the fridge and Im not wasting it. I might have some Courgettes in garlic as a side.

Tummy rumbling now

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Hehe, as usual I missed something....
My next job was going to be to fit the wireless alarm that's on the table in the last Pic. Just for my peace of mind as Im single woman now I suppose.

Need a long ladder though to put the bell/flashing light up though, which I don't have so Ill need to call a handy man to do that bit.

Bye

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel:

Quote from: Katie Jade on August 19, 2018, 12:10:31 PM
Heh as usual I missed something.
My next job was going to be to fit the wireless alarm that's on the table in the last Pic. Just for my peace of mind as Im single woman now I suppose.

Need a long ladder though to put the bell/flashing light up though, which I don't have so Ill need to call a handy man to do that bit.

Bye

H&K's

Katie
:angel: :angel:

@Katie Jade: 
Dear Katie: Every woman should have a "handy man" handy.  ;) :o
Reminded me of an oldies song by James Taylor titled Handy Man... lyrics below:
Hugs,
Danielle

Hey girls, gather round
Listen to what I'm putting down
Hey baby, I'm your handy man

I'm not the kind to use a pencil or rule
I'm handy with love and I'm no fool
I fix broken hearts, I know that I truly can

If your broken heart should need repair
Then I'm the man to see
I whisper sweet things, you tell all your friends
They'll come runnin' to me

Here is the main thing that I want to say
I'm busy twenty-four hours a day
I fix broken hearts, I know that I truly can

Come, come, come, come, come, come, come on
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Come, come, come, come, come, come
Oh now, they'll come runnin' to me

Here is the main thing I want to say
I'm busy twenty-four hours a day
I fix broken hearts, baby, I'm your handy man

Come, come, come, come, come, come, come
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Come, come, come, come, come, come, come on
Yeah, yeah, yeah

That's me
Come, come, come, come, come, come
I'm your handy man
Yeah, yeah, yeah
That's me
Come, come, come, come, come, come
I'm your handy man
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Dear Danielle

Yes just listened to that song, I know I've heard it before, and its nice so I enjoyed listening to him on YouTube, he has a good voice obviously but its a warming one if you know what I mean. Thanks for reminding me of it, its good to read the lyrics along with hearing the song so thanks for posting them for me. That will be in my memory now for quite a while, waiting to pop up when I need it, or at least a recollection of a good feeling and some of the words, all of the melody, and a recollection of your post, nice. ;D

Was online but AFK as I was just wading through the 300 or so emails sent to me whilst I was off work. Luckily (not) no one care that I am a week behind everything so they have fully booked me Monday and Tuesday, so sat on my bum in meetings I will have little input into. I even had to cancel some as I have my first scheduled meeting with HR tomorrow to discuss our planning for the big reveal of Katie at work. We have a long time to plan as I do need to shed some mass or it wont work for me, let alone my colleagues friends and foes at work. My aim is to ensure that HR are fully and more importantly truly behind my transition at work. I need to put some thought into what to discuss tomorrow, before I go to sleep. This is my biggest issue and its basically coming out to the 2000 or so employees on site at the same time due to my position and involvement with all departments. Im a key person on critical delivery plans with site wide responsibilities. My Employers need to get this right as well. Im more concerned over the social side of things though. Lets see then, but a nice flexible plan would suit me best. Will go 'Deep Thought' mode in a bit.

On a more interesting note, I took my own advice and had the following meal (Only had 2 Lattes and a yoghurt all day + water of course, as I wasn't hungry until I logged on here and went through the food postings.. );

(https://i.imgur.com/Mb1GDTC.png)

Small steak (fillet), cauliflower cheese, courgette slices and 3 diced garlic cloves which were cooked with the Courgette slices in butter. Glass of Red and I'm a happy girl :).

For tomorrow I will have sliced ham with sweet salad with green olives and sun dried tomatoes, maybe with a bit of ground pepper. That will be done in a minute and taken to work tomorrow.

For Tuesday it will be the same but tuna flakes instead of ham. Wed the same but with smoked salmon, then chicken breast on Thursday. Friday is a short day so I will go home and probably have more ham, although I should really do something with the remaining ham before that. OK that's food list in my head for the week, I need to plan now so;

Luv n Hugs

Katie

;D ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :-* :-*

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on August 19, 2018, 12:35:03 PM

Hey girls, gather round
Listen to what I'm putting down
Hey baby, I'm your handy man

I'm not the kind to use a pencil or rule
I'm handy with love and I'm no fool
I fix broken hearts, I know that I truly can

Oh, my, flashback!  About 1977, I think.  Thanks for that.  :)

So, a little update from me.

Personally Im still in a good place.
This has been bolstered by coming out to 2 of the 3 final direct reports that don't know about me yet. Both pretty supportive (blokes again). One was quite good in realising the challenge ahead, as his sisters best friend is trans as well, and he thinks she is really nice and so much a better person after her journey (was mid 20s though..). So 100% OK so far, maybe the world has changed from 10, and 20, and 30, and 40 years ago. Or maybe I wasn't looking. Too busy hiding I think. Never mind I'm here now and all the more gorgeous and personable for it. Well I think so anyway.

So, onto the mundane;

Shampooed carpets in living/dining room as they still smelly with previous occupants smoking and dog stuff (EWWWWW). Used a carpet cleaner that wets, scrubs and sucks up the muck. First 9 litres of water came back like melted chocolate ice-cream but runnier. Disgusting. Second was like vanilla cream. Overall because I scrubbed my 20 foot by 18 foot room twice, it  took 12 loads of 9 litres of brown and vanilla coloured water to get as far s I could today. All windows were opened so it would air dry and then central heating was  put on as the heavens opened and it really rained outside here with the resultant temperature drop. I will try the main areas of carpet concern again tomorrow as well as the entrance hall and the upstairs landing. They should be better I hope. I will lend Ex the cleaning unit before it needs to go back, as she has a spot carpet cleaner and I need to do the stairs and corners with that.

That's tomorrow sorted.

Eldest son and his gf were supposed to be coming round tonight but they are too busy packing as her parents are taking him on holiday for 10 days with them somewhere in Spain we think but he wont tell us where. (I cant afford to do that or help out at this time).

Went to one of my support groups last night, and one of the girls shouted out as I was explaining to another girl where I grew up (about 50 miles from the support group). She knew the exact house where I grew up, and although 5 years younger than me we chatted about all the common stuff we knew about. She had grown up less than 5 miles from me it seems. Was really nice as she is a very gentle and poised girl, and I'm still very rough at the edges and learning remotely it seems (YouTube etc). I need to so get out more, as I need the social experience with the general public and not just trans groups, if I am possibly out at work and maybe FT around Xmas or early next year. The girls at the support group all think I would be OK, but its my doubting mind again..

All my doubts about coming out so far have been unfounded though, am I a slow learner (?), maybe, but I think I have been hiding and ashamed too much to change in a few months.

Enough of that as I need to change subject..

So my cis female nephew has said she wants to come and meet me for the first time soon, as soon as her boys are back at school. I will take a day off on holiday to do that if needs as she is now a farmers wife and they tend to be very busy. Also she works for an advertising company (US based), walks to and from work every day, possibly 5 miles, up and down hill (they are general small but annoying in the UK). I have always been in awe of her and know we would have been riotous friends in teen years if I had been born AFAB.

Whatever, that was never to be, so here I am, gorgeous and very much looking forwards to the future.

Im sure there is something I have forgotten but it will keep for later or another day.

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: >:-) :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :P :P :P :P :angel: :angel:

Katie

I am so glad you are feeling so well motivated upbeat and happy.

With regard to your comment on time, undoubtedly things have changed dramatically regarding trans matters over 40 years - I only wish I could have started in 1977 instead of 2017. The most significant change has IMHO happened over the last 10 years but we still have someway to do with general societal acceptance but we will get there!

I shall let you know about my laser treatment next week.

Hugs

Pamela

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
Thank you for posting you latest detailed and comprehensive update regarding your recent life endeavors.  I love reading about the day to day events in yours and in other's lives. 

It is refreshing to hear that you are not totally consumed and overwhelmed by your transition details...  you have to take care of things in your everyday life as well and it is nice for me to read about those "regular" every day things that you are involved in.

All in all, your update was a positive statement of how you are dealing with life... kudos to you.

Thank you for keeping your followers tuned into your progress.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on August 27, 2018, 12:53:02 PM
@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
Thank you for posting you latest detailed and comprehensive update regarding your recent life endeavors.  I love reading about the day to day events in yours and in other's lives. 

It is refreshing to hear that you are not totally consumed and overwhelmed by your transition details...  you have to take care of things in your everyday life as well and it is nice for me to read about those "regular" every day things that you are involved in.

All in all, your update was a positive statement of how you are dealing with life... kudos to you.

Thank you for keeping your followers tuned into your progress.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Quote from: pamelatransuk on August 25, 2018, 04:29:23 AM
Katie

I am so glad you are feeling so well motivated upbeat and happy.

With regard to your comment on time, undoubtedly things have changed dramatically regarding trans matters over 40 years - I only wish I could have started in 1977 instead of 2017. The most significant change has IMHO happened over the last 10 years but we still have someway to do with general societal acceptance but we will get there!

I shall let you know about my laser treatment next week.

Hugs

Pamela

Dear Pamela
Thanks for your comments, and I hope your laser treatment goes well and isn't too painful as it can be for some. Make sure you are scrupulously clean before and after, I certainly found that I was prone to touching my face too much afterwards, and really had to take care not to touch any itches without a comprehensive hand cleaning ritual, or I would get an infection. Im sure you know this anyway.

Looking forwards to hearing your laser progress  :)

Dear Danielle
Thanks again for your comments. Yes I sometimes think I put too much mundane stuff in my posts, but its all important to me, and as you say sometimes it seems like in not totally engrossed by my transition, but I am really, still thinking about it every minute of every day, but its with a good positive out look, and more yearning for progress as opposed to fearing being found out, and the associated negative feeling that I'm sure we have all had.

Anyway back to my bits.
A few items today. Went to see youngest and helped him with his 'A' - Level maths revision (these exams are taken at 17/18 years old and are the primary qualifications for getting into University). He has another year of study left and has a way to go, so I will have to support more over the next 9 months.
Another cousin emailed me to wish me luck on my recent life decisions and to take it carefully, and he's looking forwards to meeting his new cousin Katie. Which was sweet of him.
So I got bored this afternoon and started to look for an outfit to meet the Susan's UK girls in next months, so here are a couple of pics for one outfit. As I'm not sure what the agenda is for the evening ill hedge my bets as I need something that can go to a pub/restaurant but also be up-jazzed to something more suited to partying maybe, I don't know. This is just a skirt and top combo, low heeled boots  and a pretty scarf that can be stowed if necessary. The top has small golden stud things and sparkles a bit in the right lights. I like sparkles a lot nowadays for some reason :)
(https://i.imgur.com/o9HWKDM.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/t2O6zIa.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/6KkILxy.jpg)
Finally I went Veg today, with Cauliflower cheese (for a change.. lol) with butter fried onion, courgettes and mushrooms with ample ground pepper. It was absolutely gorgeous and will cook that again. Finished off with the last of this weekends Strawberries, mmm
(https://i.imgur.com/difgy7e.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/GrfewCN.jpg)
Anyway, I see to be getting slightly more adventurous with my food, but still relatively somple. Now all I need to do is the try and get it all in one cooking pan... MY kitchen looked a state after cooking for one person. Nvm it was worth it.
(https://i.imgur.com/Uk79pGm.jpg)
Back to work tomorrow (Today being a bank holiday)

Luv n Hugz

Katie..
:-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

All right for some a Bank Hols off, cooking looks good and you should see my washing up after some of my curry adventures. Working on 3 outfits for Sept, skirt, tights top/blouse and jacket (my posh setup) dress for night and jeans to go back home. Hotel room so have time/chance to change.

Quote from: davina61 on August 27, 2018, 03:25:45 PM
All right for some a Bank Hols off, cooking looks good and you should see my washing up after some of my curry adventures. Working on 3 outfits for Sept, skirt, tights top/blouse and jacket (my posh setup) dress for night and jeans to go back home. Hotel room so have time/chance to change.

Dear Davina
Yes that sounds good strategy for the . Backup will ned to be an umbrella  or a good Mac I think (best to plan of course). Are you still travelling by train. I think I will be parking in the Snow Street Carpark for the afternoon and overnight. They limit it to 24 hours though I think.
So looking forwards to meeting everyone:).
I do so hope the weather holds for us, but even if its not sunny I don't think it will dampen anyone's enthusiasm.  ;) ;)

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :-* :-* ;D >:( :angel: :angel: :angel:

Train and should get in at 11.15, have a brolly in my hand bag always !!!! Lets hope its warm and sunny.

Hi everybody :)
'
Havent updated for a few days, but there again you don't want to know I mowed the lawn, said 'Hi' to the new neighbours, got friendly invite to the local Pride (not been to one before and there will definitely be a lot of people there from work there, but Im sure I wont be recognised...  hopefully not yet anyway.. Its a work 'outing' issue) from a girl couple on a support group site (not this one).
However....
So got offered to apply for a job in Verona Italy, promotion, and likely to get it. I actually had a big cry about this tonight. If I do that then I would  probably have to stop transition, I don't know.. My head is such a mess over this... I cant go back (definite), and need to make peace with myself over this, as you don't get many offers like this. I could see that my boss was taken aback by this as Im not out to him yet. This is typical of my life, so much hard work and it feels futile as I have to transition and that closes  many doors, opening others. I am happier than I have ever been, truly. But..
Well I don't know. Im going to have  a glass of prosecco tonight, and maybe a bit of Dutch cheese (one of the local variations with the holes in it and Salami) Im almost at ketosis  so have to be careful, I need to lose the weight.
Maybe I should talk to the HR business partner that I am discussing  the strategy for going full time at work with, see what she says. She knows I have been hamstrung by my GD and associated afflictions. She is really nice and I have always got on with her (actually I dont know any cis female that I haven't eventually got on with.. Hmmm).
So got a new blouse today, I usually hate buttons for some reason but this is nice (was on sale at Wallis).  also have a leather hooded jacket coming as well from 'A to Z Leathers'. Should be nice with jeans and this blouse. That's my clothes purchases for the month (blown that budget again..)
So pic time as new blouse happened, (and  a better colour wig that more closely matches my real hair- yes I'm growing it out but need a few thousand transplants..) and the blouse is apparently in a trendy 'rust' colour, really??? I have loads of tools and equipment (spanners, screwdrivers, bits of my car, lawnmower, old screws and bolts, bits of old bikes etc) that are suddenly trendy? (lol);
(https://i.imgur.com/O3YLJLJ.png) (https://i.imgur.com/oAbct9N.jpg)
Well I quite like the colour and it works well with my blue butterfly scarf anyway - nice contrast.

So not much else

Apart from  looking forwards to youngest sons 18th. We do a little celebration as we do major one at 21 (err... Eldest is 21 next year, better start planning..)

luv n Hugz

Katie

??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? :-* :angel: :angel: ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ???
(state of mind over job stuff)

P.S. Rang mum now re job and quite welled up and was blubbing a bit, she still mis-genders me and calls me by AMAB name a lot, which really got to me. Im not certain how to proceed with them. Maybe 'atom bomb' time and next time I go, go as me, don't know, but they do need to get some realisation that their son is fast fading away but I am still here, resolute and very proud of who I am and the journey I have started and will finish. If that isn't good enough then that's what it is. Life is too short and gets shorter every day.
Love them so much more now though...
Wow , such a deep day. Good job I'm female or I would have given up by now...

Do both!  Take the promotion and relocate as Katie full time.  You can do it. 

Italy has many beautiful women - you can join them. 

Dear friend Kendra
Yes that is what I would do if the world was  good for me but it isn't , but I will try to see how close that can be. Just read your old 'coming out on stage' thread - wow - not certain you needed any 'adjustments' from there. Mind body or soul.
All mine are in tatters and rebuilding which will take several years with support.
Unfortunately for me I don't have your 'presentation' if you excuse the phrase.
My mask is OK with killing everything but I am not. Its easy to put that on when it doesn't matter to your soul, but mine is laid bare and vulnerable at the moment now as I get my soul to stand up and shout. It will happen as I am sick of everyone treating me as male, I can so see the difference and it causes me issues. My postings are general but the hurt on occasion is still hidden. im still big fat and ugly male when I look in the mirror, but when I lie down and relax I am the opposite. Its so hard some times having such a negative visual memory. I will have FFS , and as much as possible so I cant see his face again. I don't hate him but he is getting so separate from me it is getting  a problem. Maybe you can understand me or not.
>-bleeped-<, enough of me and my crap.
Looking forwards to meeting you and your partner (if poss) in Birmingham, hopefully will see Davina the week before so at least one real face there before the revelation and further friendships. :);)
So love our community.

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* ??? ;D ;D ;D

Katie I don't see any of your old gender in your recent photos.  I believe in you even if you aren't giving yourself enough credit, as is the case with so many of us.

We each perceive ourselves with so much harshness and I am not an exception.  I finally just had to move forward although I found every misgendering and puzzled look to be moderately or extremely painful.  I kept reminding myself so many others have transitioned, shared their experience and proved it's possible to drive our future with our heart and run over our barriers.

I took the following photo a half year after updating my legal name and gender marker to female.  If I had waited for perfection I would have waited forever before starting transition, and forever is a very long time.  As the photo shows I wasn't even quite "close enough" under harsh lighting but I didn't care.  Well actually I did care but I learned to ignore that and focus on the long term goal, knowing the social pain would diminish with time.  Things that are new are sometimes unsettling to others - and to ourselves - and then people adjust and forget just how jarring it was at first. 

(https://www.dropbox.com/s/1zbkd0buba5hfbj/2018-05-22%2008.10.55.jpg?raw=1)
May 22, 2018 - 20 minutes before surgery

The world is filled with beautifully imperfect people.  Women who are working on their weight, men who wish they were a bit taller, and gender-neutral people who are constantly having to explain or ignore what is traditional and obsolete.  Cis-gender people have all sorts of flaws including some that definitely draw attention, but that doesn't cause them to question their own gender. 

A mirror follows the laws of physics but all it's doing is sending photons to your retina, at which point your brain processes everything.  You are not looking at a mirror, you are looking at your mind's perception of yourself filtered through decades of memories and experiences good and bad.  I don't see what you're seeing, and I'm sure the same could be said about me.  I am not good with card games but transition is a little bit like poker: to hit the goal, sometimes it's best to appear confident even if I know better. 

Kendra

Quote from: Kendra on August 31, 2018, 05:26:06 PM
Do both!  Take the promotion and relocate as Katie full time.  You can do it. 

Italy has many beautiful women - you can join them.

@Katie Jade   cc: @Kendra
Dear Katie:
I like Kendra's suggestion....
.... in essence I did a similar thing as she eluded to, I quit my male-mode job, then immediately went full-time and I relocated to my new home in Alaska to start my own self-employed woman owned business.   When I moved there the town only knew me as a business woman that moved there to live and open a new business. 

The rest is history...
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

x

Well, Ive just about got over my mini melt down from last night
Id love to take this job as I basically do it anyway at the moment, and I could but I need to be here for a few years for my sons, I think, at least. Also my situation with HRT and other medical issues mean that I will have issues with getting medication, especially after Brexit, which will change a lot of stuff and I'm not really ready for that big a leap. If I was in the states then it would be easy I think for me to jump, but not at the moment.
Didn't do much today as I was contemplating and putting to bed the what ifs again that this has resurrected.
On a positive side, my new leather across the body tan leather bag arrived today (need it for going out on the 22nd with some of you girls). a little expensive but as it will serve me well for a long time  I thought quality was required. It doesn't have double stitching but that's OK for a bag I suppose.
No Pics tonight, or maybe one... me and my new bag, that makes err.... 7 bags to date...

(https://i.imgur.com/PLPU7cY.png)

Well I must love you and leave you all, thanks Kendra and Danielle for your words of encouragement. I think you know I sometimes need them as we all do.

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D ??? ???  :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

WHAT only7 ?? Glad your over your mini tizz , remember it all works out in the end. To paraphrase Liz  only 20 days BWCA

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
Thanks for your recent update.

I, and most others reading your thread and your latest comments fully understand your decision about your current situation.

Obviously you have to make your personal decisions in a way that you see fit considering your various situations that you are dealing with.

Oh, by the way, your picture with your new handbag looks absolutely great!!!!

Thank you for keeping us all posted about your goings on in your life.   We are always here to offer our support.
Luv n Hugz ... back to you.
Danielle

Thanks for the positive comments Danielle
New jacket arrived today so a couple of pics. Smelt like leather but also I know it isn't, or maybe not as my nose seems to be taking  me into new realms of sensitivity at the moment and is somewhat annoying (yes and chest is starting again :) ), probably have higher E with the next tests...
So a Pic or two

(https://i.imgur.com/LRvgZfx.png)

Sorry, tummy looks massive here rather than the just 'big that it is '... hate it

and then someone got a rear shot as well..

(https://i.imgur.com/peyprxX.png)

Will sort that out late but I like it anyway.

Maybe a busy few weeks visiting and making new friends I hope. Roll on September.

Luv n Hugz
Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
Wow, your new coat looks wonderful... and it appears that it will keep you nice and warm...
I love the length of it too.... keeps things down below much warmer for sure.
...you could even wear it in Alaska in the winter time.

Ahhhh... and your comment about your chest ... that is great news... no pain, no gain.

I like what you stated:
    "Maybe a busy few weeks visiting and making new friends I hope. Roll on September."

Thank you for keeping your thread updated...  I love following your journey and your progress.
Hugs and hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Quote from: Katie Jade on September 04, 2018, 03:44:40 PM
Thanks for the positive comments Danielle
New jacket arrived today so a couple of pics. Smelt like leather but also I know it isn't, or maybe not as my nose seems to be taking  me into new realms of sensitivity at the moment and is somewhat annoying (yes and chest is starting again :) ), probably have higher E with the next tests...
So a Pic or two

(https://i.imgur.com/LRvgZfx.png)

Sorry, tummy looks massive here rather than the just 'big that it is '... hate it

and then someone got a rear shot as well..

(https://i.imgur.com/peyprxX.png)

Will sort that out late but I like it anyway.

Maybe a busy few weeks visiting and making new friends I hope. Roll on September.

Luv n Hugz
Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

OK something happened worth commenting on today.
I went to my first Pride, although missed the parade.  It was in Derby and they only have a smallish 'doo' there and its really just getting to its feet. As I work in Derby, and not fully out yet, especially at work, it was a bit of a risk, but whatever does it really matter in reality?
I had arranged to meet up with a couple of girls from one of the other FB groups I am associated with.
So went there all on my own, and we met up in the local gay pub on the street were the post parade events were, and  had a really good conflab. One of the girls works at Rolls Royce who have a massive presence in Derby, and we talked about all sorts of stuff. She wasn't aware that my Company, another large employer in Derby, didn't have a support group for LGBT+. She is very involved in the group at RR Derby and thinks I should start one at my firm. Its a good idea I think.
Anyway went to the RR stand for a bit and had a go with their VR headset that generated an image of a moving prop(?) shaft from one of their engines. I was impressed but we use that tech already, but with the gloves as well to virtually check access and assemblability of parts on our trains.
I got this pic taken just there;

(https://i.imgur.com/YF6KCB6.jpg)
There you go - picture proof!

Temperature was about 16C so wore my new jacket and one of my favourite dresses.

So went for lunch, stopping at Suds and Soda in Derby on the way. The girls having 1/2 pints of real ale, I, a diet coke as I was driving (Boooo). I think I will go back there some day for a proper drink as it was a really good bar.
Then across the road to The Distillery for a chicken burger and another drink. Absolutely gorgeous food there, well worth a visit if you are ever in Derby.

Anyway it started raining whilst we were in there so after eating we split, the girls going shopping and I went back to the stalls at Pride for a check out, my jacket hood being well up to protecting me from the remaining drizzle. Its a new sensation for me, that of cold rain hitting legs. I have had warm rain do that when holidaying in the Mediterranean area, but cold drizzle was new.

With my parking ticket running out I left for home. The party will go on into the very small hours. Lets see if I was spotted when I get back to work. Probably not. Next year I will be in that parade I'm sure.

So whats next? New Bathroom bits being delivered on the 11th, Laser on 14th, hopefully Davina's place on the 16th, bathroom fitted starting 17th, Nottingham Invasion on the 21st, and Birmingham on the 22nd. Im a busy girl at the moment....

Talking of which I need to cook, iron and clean for the rest of today, or until I get fed up with it that is... :) (that wont be long...)

Luv n Hugz


Katie

:-* :-* :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D

OMG almost 8 months and nothings changed....

Luv n Hugz
Katie

??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? :-* ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ???

( :angel:)

Hi, Katie.  Congratulations on getting out to the Pride parade, and on taking a chance to be "out" in the town where you work.  Every step like that that you take is a step in the right direction.

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie
Thanks for keeping us all updated regarding your Pride Parade activities....   continue to be brave and bold as you go out and about as Katie...

Yep... you posted a wonderful picture, so it really happened !!!!!

Hugs,
Danielle

As you may have seen I have been a busy girl and missed your post (do I have to get on my fridge?)  Looking good there , its great to get out (or OUT) and cant wait for Brum and next Sunday. Just hope you can make it.

I still aim to make it. Im doing the Nottingham Invasion on the Friday so I hope in in a state to drive.... I should be as im limiting nights out to only a couple of drinks.

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: >:-) >:-) :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

And next Sunday is a definite bar plagues and pestilence.. and of course getting lost (I just don't trust satnav now we are leaving the EU, they will send us all into the sea or something..)

H&K

KT

:-*

(New FB account so Im busy on there setting it up with all my groups and girl friends.. as well...  this takes up toooo much time..)

So working from home today waiting for the bathroom suite delivery. So its Jeans and casual top (heating is on as its cool and damp outside).
(https://i.imgur.com/LFiZ87y.jpg)
Already done 2 international Skype teleconferences... all quite boring but necessary.
I think I need another expresso ...
TTFN

Luv n Hugz

Katie
:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Extra strong for me please. new computer booking system at work is supposed to only take bookings to the amount of staff, unfortunately it thinks there are 2 techs and 1 mot tester when there is only 1 tech. We have 5 services, 4 mots and repairs as well as jobs running over. Pass the amphetamines !!!!!!! 

Good news tonight, the first person aside from my wife that I came out to, name withheld as she isn't a member, told me tonight that she has been for assessment at Brighton and has a date for her GCS. End of October this year.

Wow, Wow , Wow.

I was so 'made up' for her it was quite overwhelming. Ive offered to driver her down there and such like, and help to look after her afterwards (she is moving into a flat as her wife is now starting to reject her, but she is a good soul like by many so she will be OK) if needs. I will pass the flat on the way into work so I can give her a wave from the car or a lift after recovery (she thinks 4 weeks but Id be really surprised at that).
Quite emotional and gave her a big hug (she is 2/3 of my size..).

Like so many others, but particularly her, she has helped me and talked me through a lot of stuff (as you girls do here as well), and made me think about stuff. She was the first one I went out in public with, then took me to Manchester a week before Sparkle and showed me the world wasn't as bad as my head thought (keep to safe places though)..

Anyway, I decided to show her a pic of me from 2 years ago and she was.. 'like what!!!'... Ill save that one for later on next year for you girls..

Phew, a big time for her and quite a quick resolution since her surgical review. And that got me thinking, the NHS has a problem seeing girls/boys  initially, but then seem to progress them faster after confirmation of GD and RLE etc. Its a front-end issue at the moment then, but also probably have a finite, and what I understand a reducing, number of Surgeons for this delicate work.

Anyhow Ill dwell on the lovely smile my friend has permanently attached to her face, and ill sleep well tonight on the basis of her reaffirming news (she is the only person I know that has had this news whilst I have known them, but there again Ive not been on my journey long yet..).

Sweet dreams, sleep well

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Quote from: Katie Jade on September 11, 2018, 04:55:25 AM
So working from home today waiting for the bathroom suite delivery. So its Jeans and casual top (heating is on as its cool and damp outside).
(https://i.imgur.com/LFiZ87y.jpg)
Already done 2 international Skype teleconferences... all quite boring but necessary.
I think I need another expresso ...
TTFN

Luv n Hugz

Katie
:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie
Wow, even in your casual clothes you really look nice in your picture in your computer nook....   
... and you look happy and have a big smile on your face... very nice to see.

Yes, always time for another espresso during working hours...

Thank you for your posting your thoughts and your photo.
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle

Katie

I am very pleased to hear such good news about GCS with regard to your friend (although sorry her wife rejecting her) and remember YOU ARE ALSO a good soul for agreeing to look after her.

Hugs

Pamela

Thanks for coming over, enjoyed myself and nice to meet you at last. Going sleepy now , to much food!!!!

Really loved today, you were so welcoming and the food was absolutely superb. I owe you a return for today's lovely time. I'll post the picsa later but I am at Ex for youngestss birthday meal .... Diet starts tomorrow I think  ;D
Luv n hugz
Katie
:angel: :angel:

Diet, me as well--------

Hi
OK here goes; as usual I was late getting up (start of a week on 'holiday', as builders are in for stripping and updating my grotty- you shower lying down- bathroom. Ill take a few pics of the shambles that UK builders quality standards are in - and mine is relatively new build.. 14 yrs old) so messed up nail varnish..

More importantly my longest road trip to a new friend to date (I don't know where the American girls get all their funds from to go galivanting around continents - Honeymoons aside..). It was worth it.

Arrived a little early and was ushered into 'Davina's Place' as others have been before, and was welcomed with a nice cup of tea (Im driving so no Gin ..hic..).

Cooking was on the go so I graciously accepted to watch whilst the wizard'ess did her magic and created a really lovely meal that was ,to me, a bit of a sensory adventure.

I cant even pronounce or even spell the starters or even a lot of their ingredients, so Im sure Davina will maybe help on that with a post... (help).

Mushroom stuff first with the potato and green stuff (see I am useless at remembering names) which was so absolutely delicious I took a pic of the recipe.

Followed by a lot (and I mean  a lot) of salmon fillets poached in an incredible sauce. MMMMMMM. Not tasted anything like that ever I think. Served with a split lentil and rice  (plus other stuff) side to soak up the juices.
I couldn't eat all of that, Davina is such a wonderful hostess, she even reminded me yesterday not to eat breakfast before (I just had a Americano coffee and cream..)..

So feeling like an over full barrel of such tasty morsels, we retired to look at  pics - we shared 'before' pics  - and my lips are sealed... -, and I so love the pics of the grandchildren (mine are a few years off yet I think) and Davina being the doting Grandmom - so sweet. Then onto other stuff, like boys stuff that girls do as well (well I do so that counts) for cars and bikes and stuff. Davina has a lot of hidden talents and is so much more than portrayed.

Finally found time to eat the stunning Indian pudding(?), so sweet and yet also so very well made, not hard but the right chewy consistency.. I'm so appreciative of the time Davina took to make that. (Note I took a doggy bag home but none of the sweet was in it !!!!... cant blame her really  ;D) - (edit; see next post..)

Then onto prep for the Birmingham weekend. Davina has a load of options as to what to wear and the impact she wants to make, and I think in all honesty more options than I do, so really looking forward to seeing what she chooses. Remember its all in the accessories...

Rapidly running out of time and Davina's BFF having been delayed and elsewhere I needed to shoot off, so final hugs and chats and I was on my way - to my sons postponed 18th birthday meal (another Indian but a take away, and to tell the truth no where near as tasty as Davina's).

Diet is so dead today, so a few days on boiled eggs I think..... maybe with a little touch of curry powder??

So Pics (saved to the end so you should have read all notes);

Chef;
(https://i.imgur.com/o5XFAZo.jpg)

Mushroom starter - you have to taste this - hopefully Davina pill post the recipe;
(https://i.imgur.com/82hoKB0.jpg)

Main course of Salmon something (sorry, Davina help with proper description please)
(https://i.imgur.com/4vGfZGK.jpg)

And the dessert;
(https://i.imgur.com/jqlAPOg.jpg)

Finally, Selfie that for a change  got right with 2 gorgeous girls  having a good time;
(https://i.imgur.com/Rku79n3.jpg)

I so love that pic.

So that's all - Im fat from 2 Indian meals in a day, Builders in tomorrow (I have stored all the wigs etc..)

Will post updates as and whem something interesting happens with the building works...zzz

Loved today so Much..

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Katie, I am so happy that you had such a nice visit with Davina.  Having recently been the recipient of a visit by a couple of members (Tia and Debi), I know how much fun it is for us to meet each other in person. 

My mouth is watering from your descriptions of the food, even if some names are lacking.  ;)

I love the happy pic of the two of you.

Thanks Kathy - yes talking with like minded souls is always good. Your looking stunning by the way, I so love a good stunning blue colour.

And I have to aplogise to Davina, she did actually pack some of the so very sweet Indian desert/sweet in my doggy bad - thanks hun, much appreciated .  :angel:

TC and Will message soon
Luv n Hugz
Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

@Katie Jade:
Dear Katie:
I have been eagerly waiting for your update regarding your visit with Chef Davina.   The pictures you posted are a treat for your followers to view... thank you for posting them along with your wonderful description of the day's events.
YOU and @davina61 look absolutely beautiful in the photos... both of your dresses and very feminine and happy appearance are so nice to see.

Thank you so very much for posting your update... a pleasure to read and to see.
Hugs and well wishes, as always,
Danielle

Did try to reply last night but net vanished (grrrr) Tandoori mushrooms ( every body wants the recipe!!) Masaturian salmon curry, Chana dahl and basmati rice pilaf , stuffed Parathas (cauliflower and potato) and pistachio and almond desert .   

Had a pathara with bacon and egg for breakfast this morning .
Builders have started.... Bye bye horrible bathroom....
Luv n hugz
Katie
:angel: :angel: :angel:

Keep the TEA coming , builders seize up without regular lubrication!!!

Hi Katie

I haven't stopped by before but I saw you post on Davina's thread and though t I just had to check out the photos and see the amazing food. You girls look like you had a great time...the smiles say it all.

Take care

Liz

Quote from: Katie Jade on September 17, 2018, 02:24:23 AM
Had a pathara with bacon and egg for breakfast this morning .
Builders have started.... Bye bye horrible bathroom....
Luv n hugz
Katie
:angel: :angel: :angel:

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
I recall seeing some "before" pictures that you posted some time ago... during the project and after it would be terrific to see what the builders have accomplished....  all it takes is money and time!!!

You sound so happy and bubbly after your wonderful visit with @davina61  ... it is so great to get together with supportive and like minded friends ... and it helps if they are good cooks too such as Chef Davina was able to prove to you.

Thanks for updating all of us....
Hugs,
Danielle

OK at Danielle' request lets see the before, and the progress..;
(https://i.imgur.com/K7NNaiz.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/jLM2ElC.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/oC9EdPU.jpg)
Nothing spectacular ad Im sure people live happy lives with bathrooms worse that this, however, Progress today;

(https://i.imgur.com/c2zZ6yM.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/fLzuLql.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/6z6ICFV.jpg)

All good fun, I just need to make sure I don't fall down the hole in my bedroom floor before tomorrow....
As we all say, it will be worth it in the end :)

As for me, Im over last weekends  mega blip, and Davna so helped me yesterday.
Loving life and the challenge before me again.

Luv n Hugz

Katie

??? ??? :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Hi Katie

That really is a big project but you seem to have made great progress with it. What a great job , I would never trust myself to be able to do that...I would probably break something....me!

We had our bathroom refurbished not so long ago and it felt like we were livin in a hotel there for awhile after...all we needed were the little complementary soaps and shampoo's LOL

I hope it turns aout really well...

Take care

Liz

Quick update - Tiling and grouting done, just hope its all done in time to get ready for getting ready to go out Friday night and Saturday day.
Off for shower at BFF. (hopefully)
(https://i.imgur.com/Lzk1hmB.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/ImHYcWJ.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/QB11Epl.jpg)
I normal light the tiles seem to have a slight pink about them, which I am perfectly happy with  :-*
Electrician and finishing off my waterworks tomorrow
TTFN

Luv n Hugz

Katie

;D ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

OK pics of similar views to previous from todays work. Just final fix from the plumber sealing all the corners, and the Electrician to wire up the shower and safety switch and the job is a good one (Aside from new flooring and painting the ceiling..). Ill be glad when this is all done and I can go out Friday night and Sat all day... will be back to posting out of focus views of bits of my transition - yay.

(https://i.imgur.com/066kFjh.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/ovXJnnw.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/Ymvznp2.jpg)
The shower head picture shows the grey and pinky colour off as I see it. So nice. Also all the tools should be gone in the next and final pictures..

Talk soon

Luv n Hugz

Katie

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
Your bathroom remodeling project is coming along very nicely....   

I always like the result of remodeling and updating things in my home but it is the process that I don't like... the time it takes, the mess, the disruption, etc....   if one could just snap their fingers and have it done instantly that would be wonderful.

I will be looking forward to seeing your final pictures of the finished job.

Thanks for keeping us all up to date....
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on September 20, 2018, 12:22:35 PM
@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
Your bathroom remodeling project is coming along very nicely....   

I always like the result of remodeling and updating things in my home but it is the process that I don't like... the time it takes, the mess, the disruption, etc....   if one could just snap their fingers and have it done instantly that would be wonderful.

I will be looking forward to seeing your final pictures of the finished job.

Thanks for keeping us all up to date....
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle

Dear Danielle
I couldn't agree more with makeover hastle. Hate the waiting but as Im usually doing them then they take Soooooooo long I forget where I started.
Nowadays Im more focussed on me and my transition, and I actually don't want that to go too quick (or too slow) so I can at least  physically, mentally and socially gain what I want and I need to be regarded as female. These massive undertakings do take a long time and those that rush them are at danger of not being fully happy with their new selves. I'm starting to appreciate my own face and body (yuk - too fat) as I am not yet owning it, as opposed to some artificial façade that I have created to make me what the world expects.
That game is almost up for me I think. My counsellor and even HR at work think that Xmas will be a watershed for me.
Maybe coming out then, certainly I cant go on using binders on my chest as it really does hurt some times (Kudos to FTM guys..)

So - roll on tomorrow but not too long as I need to go to Nottingham... for the 'invasion' lol - only about 10-25 girls but at least we are together and generally safe..

Luv n Hugz

Katie

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Hi all
Wow what a weekend, one that I can look back on as another significant step forward for me, and I hopefully have made a lot of good friends as well, especially on the epic meetup on Saturday and also Sunday morning. Friday was quite exciting, going around Nottingham which must be one of the most trans friendly places in the country (and its near me...).
But Saturday was truly an exceptional moment for me and I personally think I was a bit reserved and tongue tied at times, however it was all really great company and the face to face communication was on occasion so inspiring to me, and Im sure others as well.
I have loads of feedback and suggestions to note and work through but as Im logged into work now and have the 800+ emails to go through sent me during last weeks holiday (probably need to respond or action about 30%, the rest will be rubbish, things that I should have been cc. on and hence never get read, or company notices etc - Im sure you know what I mean). I will note key areas for me to think about From the weekend, and then mull them over, along with a lot of other personal items this week.
Im not going to go into the details as that would need a small novelette, suffice to say because of the meet up and time afterwards with some of the girls, I actually felt both happy and sad by the time I got home today. Happy to have met and made friends and sad to have to be parted, but Im sure there will be other times we will touch base, and anyway I will continue to put my usual garbled inconsistent, irrelevant as well as relevant stories here for your amusement and cogitation.
To cheer myself up I had Cauliflower Cheese for tea with a bit of poached salmon. Yay!!
So Ill sign off as I have work to do and tea to drink (booze and generally caffeine free for a few days at least I think),
As ever

Luv n Hugz

Katie

  :-*   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

 Well I think you came out of your shell over Sat, as to me I made (well cooked in a tin!) meat pie, mash , carrots, beans and a bit of left over cauliflower not forgetting gravy!!! Apple crumble to finish. Have you tried a Devil in biscuit yet?

Dear Davina, if you mean the ones you gave me, I have one left for tonight to go with a hot chocolate drink that I feel I need.. they were very very good.... I think you may need to be persuaded to do a postal delivery service to me with them.... joking but they were excellent.

And yes to an extent I came out of my shell a bit but there again my star sign is Cancer so I have a hard defensive shell before you can get to the softer me underneath I suppose or something like that. I think Im breaking out though rather than someone breaking in (or maybe both at the same time, who knows) and that 'shell' is all the stuff that has stopped me from being who I should have been and will be.

Oh well, candle lit bath and soak (nice smelly candles) in my lovely bathroom and Hot Chock and biscuit after - slippers time.... mmmm. Catch up on sleep and back to the grind tomorrow. That will be the challenge for tomorrow then, think about that at 6am tomorrow...

TC all

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Katie it was soooo great to meet you! 

Transition starts from within.  While there are physical details to deal with, this is all driven by our mental state and switching gears from years of other habits.  That's the foundation.  You have come so far, and I think you are much further along than you realised.  I am excited to be able to see firsthand just how far - and where you are going. 

Kendra

Quote from: Kendra on September 23, 2018, 02:49:47 PM
Katie it was soooo great to meet you! 

Transition starts from within.  While there are physical details to deal with, this is all driven by our mental state and switching gears from years of other habits.  That's the foundation.  You have come so far, and I think you are much further along than you realised.  I am excited to be able to see firsthand just how far - and where you are going. 

Kendra

Why thank you Kendra, and your point about progress is one of the key notes that I have to think about and as I mentioned this morning I was starting to look through unclouded vision as to my real position on my journey, some physical, some mental and some social positions have indeed come and gone almost without my realising it. So 'Deep Thought' mode this week. Indeed I am talking with HR at work on progression tomorrow and this may be discussed.
So I think 'off with the old clouded glasses', indeed after my recent eye operation activities I don't physically need them any more so why do I mentally wear them still. Hmm I'm off on another ramble again, and my chock drink and Davina's biscuit are calling me from the kitchen, I can hear them quite clearly now.... etc..

Have a safe journey Kendra, and everyone else still travelling. It was soooooooo great meeting you as well :)

Night everyone

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Copied from another thread called 'what are you having for Dinner 3.0;

Was going to be Genovese sponge but I used the wrong flour, the whipped cream returned to liquid and it was a disaster.. Trying to do this for a charity bake at work on Thursday, so I can have a couple of more attempts before then.

It was my first 'from basics' cake attempt though and I absolutely loved doing it.

Its in the bin now but here is a pic of the sponges I made after they returned from a balloon like state (i.e did a good impression of a collapsing star and left a black hole or N-Star in my cake making expectations tonight.. lol).
Tasted ok though and I did swallow it then binned the rest to save humanity from a deadful fate; Katies Cake Catastrophies...

(https://i.imgur.com/zdx5az9.jpg)

Hopefully it will improve tomorrow if I get chance..

Luv n Hugz

Katie

;D ;D ??? ??? ??? ??? :o :o ;D :( ??? ::) :P :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

We all have baking disasters, look at it as practise . If in doubt do a Victoria mix as that's hard to mess up

Hi Katie

I love to bake but worse I love to eat the stuff I bake. I experimented with making Fudge for awhile and that was a lot of fun although very fattening LOL


I have tried to bake sponges before and they always sink in the middle like a 20 year old mattress...although I always say its done be by design... you know, somewhere for the cream to sit LOL But then again when you are eating it you don't care a whole lot about how it looks.  :) As Davina said it takes practice....I would hate to think how many batches of shortbread I threw away until I could make it edible.

Great effort


take care

Liz

Thanks for the support girls, Sponge Mk 2 tonight, this time with plain flower. If its OK then I will keep it till tomorrow, make a MK3, take the best into work for Judging and give the other to my youngest son. No cake for me Im afraid, but will love the experience of making them, and giving them away for someone else to enjoy.

Im on the waggon regarding cake now, and other stuff for the time being.

Pics later hopefully.

Lun N Cakes

Katie

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :o :o :o :o :o

Quote from: Katie Jade on September 25, 2018, 11:34:44 AM
Thanks for the support girls, Sponge Mk 2 tonight, this time with plain flower. If its OK then I will keep it till tomorrow, make a MK3, take the best into work for Judging and give the other to my youngest son. No cake for me Im afraid, but will love the experience of making them, and giving them away for someone else to enjoy.

Im on the waggon regarding cake now, and other stuff for the time being.

Pics later hopefully.

Lun N Cakes

Katie

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :o :o :o :o :o

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
Great updates regarding your life events on your side of the pond....  Whenever I login to the Forums, your thread is one of my frequent stops,  particarly lately with all the other members from the Forums that you are meeting (and eating) with.   ...   Oh yeah, eating cake can be a wonderful thing, but like anything, too much is not beneficial to our figures.

Thank you for keeping all of your followers tuned into your life endeavors.
As always, wishing you well in your transition journey.
Hugs,
Danielle

Halfway through #4 attempt (I have a lot of flour Frisbee's in the bin), I check the recipe elsewhere and it seems that in my recipe book  'Eggs' can mean with or without the yolks. They also refer to egg whites in other revipeis. Google cleared it up so I need a dozen more eggs tomorrow to try #5. So didnt want to waste anything anyway so I have added more flour and sugar to stiffen the mixture a lot and at least I get a steady rise across the cooking mixtures. Maybe a little too stiff as its only doubled in size. I will fill it with cream tomorrow and take it to work for my Engineers. Im practicing for the charity event so they shouldn't thinks anything of it (all the other entrants are cis women...) I will be a gracious looser on Thursday, hope I get an honourable mention... and Ive had a bit of fun anyway.
Pics..
Tomorrow so I can show you the finished beast :)

Luv n Cakes

Katie

Nomnomnomnomnomnomnmnomnomnomnom ???

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

Pics then, in rough chronological order and various #'s;


(https://i.imgur.com/JjSFawH.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/7Vmc4Pg.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/UolEFby.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/LNCkNxY.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/4vP0r5g.jpg) - leant up against toaster for effect - would have made a good hard hat...

(https://i.imgur.com/P6fzqhM.jpg) - Still happy cooking though..

(https://i.imgur.com/c9jg6BG.jpg) - Vegetarian tea (assuming goats cheese is OK.. was really good as well)

So onto tonight;

(https://i.imgur.com/9PDm0DQ.jpg) - better but still frizbees (taste OK though)

Final effort, didn't use any machines to whisk (Ex helped me there I did the rest... honest) also decided to change from 2 to a single cake tray - added 6 mins on cooking time to make it 33 mins.

(https://i.imgur.com/uNjSUgd.jpg) - looking good

(https://i.imgur.com/bvUpwuP.jpg) - Out and really pleased - note the attempt no 4 was being nibbled at and cut so maybe I make half a three layer cake..

(https://i.imgur.com/cGQWuCS.jpg) - Success, so just have to cool it and all cream and fruit... Hope to goodness I don't mess that up...
Ill post a pic when finished.

Just to keep you amused - a bit of leg (Ooh cheeky!!)

(https://i.imgur.com/wLviZGR.jpg)

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Oh, and me in my new helmet;;

(https://i.imgur.com/bAZQhTk.jpg?1) - maybe go work on Friday on bike (Will use my old very smelly boys leathers though as not buying any nice ones until I loose more weight..)

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
Wow-zers.... very nice job on your cooking and baking adventure.   You pictures are wonderful to see.... hmmm, when is dinner served?  I will probably be late, perhaps by a day or two, it is quite a journey for me to get to your kitchen table.

Thank for your "decicious" post and your pictures.
Hugs,
Danielle

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on September 26, 2018, 03:54:39 PM
@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
Wow-zers.... very nice job on your cooking and baking adventure.   You pictures are wonderful to see.... hmmm, when is dinner served?  I will probably be late, perhaps by a day or two, it is quite a journey for me to get to your kitchen table.

Thank for your "decicious" post and your pictures.
Hugs,
Danielle

Danielle et al.

It gets better.
Slicing the cake in two showed it was full cooked and really nice smelling. I hope I get chance to sample it in between meetings tomorrow...

so, here is proof;
The splitting of the cake;

(https://i.imgur.com/XALQ11D.jpg)

Cream, Strawberry slices and more cream... - after rubbing icing sugar onto the sides (no, not to hide burn marks as there weren't any...)

(https://i.imgur.com/g6gyfUP.jpg)

More cream, raspberries and blueberries, with snow on the highest peaks as a homage to Alaskan friends and those dear friends so far away.....;

(https://i.imgur.com/fKEYCTH.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/n99P8vn.jpg)

Then use one of yesterdays bakes to make a quarter cake for my BFF (Ex) and youngest son, as I posted before. They will get that tomorrow on my way to work..

(https://i.imgur.com/UVXcDVU.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/sDB5XEj.jpg)

I know my finishing is a bit rough and ready, but I think that's the charm of a first cake (on the 5th attempt). Now to perfect my skills on this one of billions of cake combinations..... I have a long way to go - loving it so much.

In case you wondered my tea yesterday was dry fried Halloumi, butter fried Courgettes and Mushrooms,  Aloo Gobi Saag (OK was from Aldi but 1/2 portion) and a dry fried tomato.
Loved it. Any other easy Veg recipes anyone? There is probably a thread I know..

Have fun and life gets better

Luv N hugz

Katie

:-*            ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

@Katie Jade:
Dear Katie:
Yes, you are correct when you stated... "It's gets better"

My oh my, that cake that you made with the strawberries looks absolutely delicious... unfortunately it won't keep long enough for me to travel to you home and kitchen to sample it....

I think that I gained 5 pounds just by looking at the pictures!!!! ;)
Thank you for your tempting food postings.
Hugs,
Danielle

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on September 26, 2018, 04:46:56 PM
@Katie Jade:
Dear Katie:
Yes, you are correct when you stated... "It's gets better"

My oh my, that cake that you made with the strawberries looks absolutely delicious... unfortunately it won't keep long enough for me to travel to you home and kitchen to sample it....

I think that I gained 5 pounds just by looking at the pictures!!!! ;)
Thank you for your tempting food postings.
Hugs,
Danielle

And that's why Im selling it for charity.  Lost 2LB this week - no booze and veg diet (zero carb one..)
Starting upping exercise next week as well (time permitting)

TY for you lovely comments btw. You are a very welcome poster on my thread, I really do appreciate your taking care to make your comments  really warming. (Personal Hugz there btw)

BTW -sorted out a coming out at work plan with my HR manager. OMG... what am I doing (still loving it and don't care anymore - have suddenly got a lot more confidence, I think it was last weekends UK meet - up.. ).
Onwards and upwards girls...


Post some more drivel whenever something meaningful happens - Ill let you know if my cake sells out...


Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*                                                    ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Quote from: Katie Jade on September 26, 2018, 03:24:16 PM
>
(https://i.imgur.com/JjSFawH.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/7Vmc4Pg.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/UolEFby.jpg)

Had the same recipe surgically installed in July.  I can't remember the exact process, something about anesthesia.

Quote from: Kendra on September 27, 2018, 06:51:59 AM
Had the same recipe surgically installed in July.  I can't remember the exact process, something about anesthesia.

Haha, very funny. To tell the truth the longer I watch them the more they grow on me (pun there somewhere..).

Off to support group tonight, so getting out of my 'drab' clothes and into something nice.

Going to work on the Motorcycle tomorrow. Should be fun. :)

Got to go - need to clear my face of fuzzy stuff and brighten my day. I don't think Xmas can come soon enough for me. I have a sneaky feeling that people are asking a lot of questions now. I keep getting  or hearing marginal comments. Went into work with freshly washed hair that was all fluffy.... its about half an inch past my collar now I think. I really should take some advice on styling it soon esp to cover the hairless bits...
Whatever, my friends are calling so Gn and talk soon

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*     ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D ;D

Where's my slice ? Looks tasty .

 I'll take a slice also Katie. Please.

House is open for cake eating whenever, just give me notice please.

Also coming this weekend.....;

"





                                                                       "

Nothing on or planned, so looks like cleaning, food shopping , cutting lawns, washing , ironing, or I could go and see my parents. No contest really, ill ring them now. They do need to see me and recognise the progression I am making, and hopefully be happy for me (unlikely). Still I love them to bits whatever so Ill make it a bit of an occasion. Maybe bake a cake (a simpler one though...)

Looks like Im busy after all

funny how things turn up when you decide to look around. Loads of possibilities as well, out on Motorcycle, on Mountain bike, etc etc.

Had a call yesterday whilst at my support group, (who all think I should go FT soon... Hmmm..) from eldest's gf who is in town as well and wants to come and see me - she is such a sweety, but I will let Eldest know in advance so as not to cause any issues. could be a makeup party - she always promised me that. I wonder if she is booked up yet..

Ill let you know how I get on, feeling so positive at the moment and feeling more 'me' than ever before. Still cant control hormone induced emotions, some really weird ones I haven't felt before as well (but oh so very nice). I suppose Im going through teenage girl emotion syndrome sort of thing at the moment...
Oh well, Ill grow up someday (hope not, or at least not too quickly).

Luv N Hugz

Katie

  :-*          :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D  :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Katie (Davina, Charlotte, Emma, Kendra and Devlyn, & Megan)

OMG-Where has the week gone.  This time last week I was looking forward, with nervous aprehension,  to our lunch.

I had the most fantastic weekend, made so many new friends, and felt so at peace.

Missing you all this weekend.

Nikki

xx

Well tomorrow sorted and as I bought a cheap electric whisk im making a sponge for my mom and Dad (Not certain they think this is a nice thing from their 'son' but I don't care they are getting it).
So its cooked perfectly (sorry abour all those 40 wasted eggs on my last baking attempt.......) and now cooling. Run out of strawberries so its whisked cream and Blueberries... may need a lot of sugar....

Decided against Eldest sons GF coming round as although she is 20 she does look very cute and young, and you know how people put 2 and 2 together and get 500+.....

Posts re the cakes;

Cooked in 8" removable bottom baking trays (round and well greased with full fat butter - Yay);

(https://i.imgur.com/Cexse8K.jpg)

Waiting for fruit (whipped cream...);
(https://i.imgur.com/DxLQoe7.jpg)

Finished article and dusted with Icing sugar...;

(https://i.imgur.com/J80YqbY.jpg)

This one was so much easier and as it was a Vic Sponge, which my neighbours cat could do...

So enjoying the baking - I think I need to top Danielle's 10k Calorie buns,,, lets look for a nuke bun recipe

Luv n Hugz

Katie


:-*          :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* ;D ;D ;D >:( :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Quote from: nikkiannukts on September 28, 2018, 04:07:02 PM
Katie (Davina, Charlotte, Emma, Kendra and Devlyn, & Megan)

OMG-Where has the week gone.  This time last week I was looking forward, with nervous aprehension,  to our lunch.

I had the most fantastic weekend, made so many new friends, and felt so at peace.

Missing you all this weekend.

Nikki

xx

Aha.. you got that as well- I had teenage girl hormonal rampage as well I think, so such a .... still I really enjoyed the weekend and everyone's company, the discussion with you and Kendra in particular were so good for me, Kendra talks with such conviction I mainly listened and fluffed any questions as Im sure you heard.

Looking forwards to the next opportunity to meet up

Luv n Hugz

Katie

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:            :-*

Hello again Katie

I always read your updates and as I was on holiday (got home Wednesday 26th at 11.00pm), I had much to read and be happy about. Glad your bathroom and baking went well.

I also read the UK Meet Up thread and the event seems to have been a real success and a good time and a learning time seems to have been enjoyed judging from the comments. I note Kendra travelled all the way from Washington State in US to Birmingham UK and back - that was truly considerate of her. It is always uplifting to meet like minded
people including those further on in their transgender journey and I know how beneficial that is.

Very importantly it is so wonderful to see you are so upbeat enthusiastic and motivated and I feel you are now able to clear any unforeseen obstacles.

Sending you love and happiness and hugs

Pamela  xx

Quote from: pamelatransuk on September 29, 2018, 08:04:35 AM
Hello again Katie

I always read your updates and as I was on holiday (got home Wednesday 26th at 11.00pm), I had much to read and be happy about. Glad your bathroom and baking went well.

I also read the UK Meet Up thread and the event seems to have been a real success and a good time and a learning time seems to have been enjoyed judging from the comments. I note Kendra travelled all the way from Washington State in US to Birmingham UK and back - that was truly considerate of her. It is always uplifting to meet like minded
people including those further on in their transgender journey and I know how beneficial that is.

Very importantly it is so wonderful to see you are so upbeat enthusiastic and motivated and I feel you are now able to clear any unforeseen obstacles.

Sending you love and happiness and hugs

Pamela  xx

Aww Pamela, such a lovely catch up message, thank you, we should meet sometime I think.
Yes, Hidden talents emerging it seems, and just getting out in the fresh air as me is so inspiring, as were all the girls on Saturday. First timers (I'm not much more than that really) to those girls that have bags of confidence, including of course Nikki, Emma and Kendra, such lovely people, I could hug them forever they were so really nice and very inspiring.

So today, went on Motorcycle (new helmet), to parents in semi boy mode, rings and necklace on, as well as underwear and cami-top, but covered up for dads sake.
Lovely welcome, no comments on my higher pitch voice.  They loved my cake (Vic sponge with blueberries as I had used up all my Strawberries on the Macmillan cake event at work).
I showed mum the avatar pic that I currently have (note if you are reading this in the future then I may have changed that), and she thought I looked a completely different person (Duh..), and was quite pretty and shared a lot of my looks with my Niece (Lawyer in Manchester - Grad last year from one of my old Unis, MMU, with a 1st in Law stuff..)
And apart from 30 years, 12 " in height, flawless complexion, cute nose long blond full head of hair etc etc etc, I agreed...

Big hugz all round and a couple of cups of tea, fixed Mums desktop and laptop computers (SW/FW issues), talked a bit about me and my progress, even highlighted that my chest was growing and ached a lot, that my face has changed a lot and that they made me almost cry twice (watering eyes syndrome - still cant get those emo's under any sort of control). They noted several times that I look and am so very happy at the moment. That's not surprising but its good to see their child is happy and so content for a change.

I did say that I am talking to HR (or personnel as Mum calls it..) about going full time as Kate/Katie some time around Xmas, not certain if they understood the implications of that, and that my AMAB name would rest eternally.

Anyway, found that Dad was going to bin a 1985 Nintendo game player with a game in it,, Wow I said, don't do that it may be worth something. Its a grey block about 6"x8"x2" with a corner 1"x1"x6" that lifts up to expose the game cartridge that slots in diagonally. Never seen one before this myself but had a game in it as well, Maybe I put a pic up sometime.

Anyhow left and took a tour - Bike was sooooo good, so I went towards Buxton then down the Via Gellia road to Cromford, and through Matlock Bath, loads of looks - maybe as my old boy leathers were being pushed by my girls... Well I like to think so anyway.

So chilling tonight, a glass or two of red and Also Im washing my boy work clothes as well as soaking my hair piece - its the same as the one at last weeks events but very highlighted, blond a bit of red and dark brown and black streaks - looks cool but very false I think. Still I love it.

That's it from me for tonight.

Loving you all so much..

Luv n Hugz

Katie


:-*            ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D ;D

This is covered in the 'what are you eating tonight topic but good in here as well;

Went for Tapas today will colleagues, 2 ladies from Sweden and my senior technical engineer (Whom I am training up to be my eventual replacement or deputy). I have known them for several years but never previously been able to go out for a social with them. They all know about my transition, but as we were meant to meet a colleague who used to work for me as well who was not in my confidence yet but a nice chap whatever, I had to go in 'drab'. When we got there I was told that he was stuck in Birmingham (UK one...) so I could have gone anyway as me... nvm there will be other times.
Anyway Tapas...

"We actually decided on the £20 a head tapas  ' best order' selection so here is start;

(https://i.imgur.com/89BFdiV.jpg)

Lots of eating  and laughing later (sorry too busy for an interim shot, several dishes already cleared away);

(https://i.imgur.com/0XWHUaS.jpg)

Lots of empty plates, friendship renewed and enhanced, coffee and home.

If you are in Derby then it is very good but you do have to book. The restaurant is called  Spanish Bar Lorentes, Derby. Most secure car park in EU just around the corner as well -not that its needed mid week in Derby."

Anyway needless to say Im safely back home, feeling quite fat and will probably not need to eat for a few days...

Also today I used Garnier Ultimate Blends (not advertising as  know there are many others available) marvellous glow oil on my hair (before washing) tonight before going out. OMG, hair feels fuller, sleeker shinier and not so blow away. really liking the stuff and also that it brings the occasional very slight auburn natural streaks (between the grey/mousy colour hair) out. Loving it...

Will sleep happy tonight  now that Im finding more stuff out about hair care and trying it rather than watching it on YouTube and just wondering..

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*       ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie: 
I have really enjoyed your recent updates.   Of course when you post pictures of wonderful looking food and cakes and all of that piques my interest greatly.
Also the positive tidbits about your transition related details are music to my ears.

Oh, regarding food, I think that you had offered to post some pictures of some genuine varieties of Pasties that you have available....  that would be nice to see and would compliment your food pictures that you have already posted.

Thanks for your uplifting updates.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on October 03, 2018, 05:41:52 PM
@Katie Jade
Dear Katie: 
I have really enjoyed your recent updates.   Of course when you post pictures of wonderful looking food and cakes and all of that piques my interest greatly.
Also the positive tidbits about your transition related details are music to my ears.

Oh, regarding food, I think that you had offered to post some pictures of some genuine varieties of Pasties that you have available....  that would be nice to see and would compliment your food pictures that you have already posted.

Thanks for your uplifting updates.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

I sure will Danielle when I get chance to do that. At the moment I'm getting set for a visit on Saturday of my Cousin as she and I were close once upon a time and she needs to make sure Im OK and happy with my 'Life Choice' stuff.
Likely to be chicken strip and pan fried Haloumi salad with a nice bit of rough bread to mop up the olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Ill try and find some stuffed olives as well I think. Going to make this nice for her as she is actually the first member of my direct family (ex and sons aside) that has bothered to come and see me. Says something....

Anyway time is fleet, and I need to get ready for full time at work so started with shopping (yay my definite obsession...) for work clothes;

(https://i.imgur.com/V8Fn8n5.jpg)

Blue plain blouse and black skirt - I prefer the skater type as it gives me the illusion of a bit of a waist.
As you can see, my chest is a bit of a give away at the moment so currently Im binding it at work, which does end up aching - and to help disguise I always wear my old boy jacket as its a bit oversized since I lost weight last year. Have another similar skirt and a navy with polka dots blouse on the way as well. Cheap Amazon ones until I get the look I can settle with. Then probably more cheap Amazon or Matalan clothes anyway so I can get some choice.

Also got a cardi/thing, as I liked pattern and its surprisingly nice and cosy;

(https://i.imgur.com/sv36LMv.jpg)

Oh well, not quite ready yet (another 1/2 ton of weight to loose maybe...) for full time clothes wise although a good portion of my head is. I still need to get out on my own more anyway, work is fine as its a safe place  ......

Still loving it all anyway.

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*        ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :'( :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D

Loving the cardy , have you done the charity shop hunt yet. Its surprizing what you can find, picked up a nice jacket for £8 and a red blouse/ top shirty thing for £4.50

Hi Katie .

  Love the top and the skirt. I need to get me a nice cardigan for our colder days the are around the corner.

Keep shopping

Quote from: Laurie on October 04, 2018, 05:08:12 PM
Hi Katie .

  Love the top and the skirt. I need to get me a nice cardigan for our colder days the are around the corner.

Keep shopping

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
I love your new clothing purchases and I certainly love the sweater...  it has been getting quite cold here that last several weeks....  long sleeve tops and dresses, sweaters and winter coats are what I have been wearing lately.

..... your food pictures are truly wonderful....  I gain weight just looking at them.   Very tasty looking foods that you prepare.

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Well the visit from my lovely cousin Sue went really well. She is such a wonderful girl and a loving Mum to her sons.
She brought me some lovely red lilies' to go with the white and pink bunches I already have in the living room. I do so love lilies'.... Also she gave me a lovely blue scarf with a flower motif. A most welcome addition to my growing collection of scarves. That was very sweet of her.
Columbian coffees all round and the onto finishing the lunch, which was a warm salad of dry fried chicken strips and slices of haloumi (also dry fried). Sue had brought some onion and potato bread which went really well with the salad(see the pic).  Afters were the remnants of the cake I made yesterday - Carrot and Ginger sponge with cream filling....

(https://i.imgur.com/3DAbLbW.jpg)

Lots of chatting about me (my favourite subject of course) and things that went on when we were growing up. All good stuff, and in reality reaffirmed our friendship.
Sadly the time went too quickly and it was all over much too soon, but she left with a big hug and vows to meet up again. So loving today :).

Yesterday was pretty good as well mind you. I texted my friend Tina saying I was  bored and only had ironing to do and immediately got told she needed help moving her stuff into her new flat. I promptly stopped the ironing and made sure I was presentable in time for her to pick me up and we were off into Derby. She has a lovely flat and when its set up Im sure it will be a real cosy home to her. When she dropped me off I made sure she had some cake and a coffee as a treat. Unfortunately the cake was sooooooo good we ended up eating half of it.... how unfortunate :).
Still there was enough for todays lunch, and it was very much liked again.

Enough to say my diet has taken a good beating in the last 24 hrs so its back on the 'no-treats' waggon again for me (I wonder what will happen to that remaining cake.... time will tell....)

Loving life and loving myself

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*         ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Glad you had a nice time and cake!! With you on the diet thing, not helped by a "drunken" late night Indian meal last night!! Not standing on the scales for 2 days now----

Quote from: davina61 on October 06, 2018, 09:54:59 AM
Not standing on the scales for 2 days now----

:o

Haha!!! Im with you there sister :)

L&H's

Katie

:-*      :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* ;D ;D

Snipped:

Quote from: Katie Jade on October 06, 2018, 09:43:17 AM
- - - - - - - - - - - - --
    - - - - - - - - - - - - -
When she dropped me off I made sure she had some cake and a coffee as a treat. Unfortunately the cake was sooooooo good we ended up eating half of it.... how unfortunate :).
Still there was enough for todays lunch, and it was very much liked again.

Enough to say my diet has taken a good beating in the last 24 hrs so its back on the 'no-treats' waggon again for me (I wonder what will happen to that remaining cake.... time will tell....)

Loving life and loving myself

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*         ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

@Katie Jade:
Dear Katie:
Another happy and wonderful update on your thread... and, of course, including delicious looking food pictures...  I am gaining weight just looking at your photos!!! :)

... I had to chuckle when I read your statement that"you and your cousin ended up eating half of the cake."   No wonder that you stated that your diet has taken a good beating.
Yep, time to get back on to the "diet wagon" .... no more cheating allowed.

I am glad that you have a wonderful visit with your cousin, it sounded like you had a very nice time.... I am very happy for you.

Thank you for keeping us all tuned in to your exciting life events and of course your enticing food pictures.
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle

Dearest Danielle, moi? cheat? C'est ne pas possible.... I just stray occasionally to the 'yummy' side of treats, surely thats not cheating...  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Anyway not so exciting for me at the moment, as its Saturday night, all dolled up and nowhere to go, still, I'll have an early night of it I think.

Tried on some old (for me) clothes as I was bored ;

(https://i.imgur.com/IlQbosG.jpg) (Ignore the G&T on the little table..)

(https://i.imgur.com/AD1Gwyx.jpg)

They are comfy though, so love leggings and my suede boots.

Maybe ill put some music on and boogie for a bit.. Lets see, I do need to practice my moves though ..

So that's probably it from me for the night,

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*       ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

PS;

I don't think I posted this one of me, all real stuff (i.e. no wig thing...), how do you think I'm coming along? I think I can see a bit of a girl in there somewhere.. hair is just onto shoulders at the moment at the back and an inch or so past my ears (apart from the bits that need 'repairing'.....)

(https://i.imgur.com/ygkgnsB.jpg?2)

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
You look very lovely in your latest "dressed up" pictures.   I think that all transitioners have also done just that... no where to go, dressing up and trying new looks.... lots of fun getting all dolled up... but shucky-darn, no where to go to show yourself off.... bummer.   

I like your very last photo of the real  you..... your natural hair is not much shorter that mine right now.   My hair last winter was at a below shoulder length and this summer I trimmed it down to my present length.  Some MTF transitioners believe that they have to have long hair to look feminine.... but there are lovely feminine hair styles that look really nice for shorter hair than yours or mine.

Thank you for sharing your photos with all of us.... you look terrific!!!!
Hugs and well wishes as you continue on.
Danielle

Quote from: Katie Jade on October 06, 2018, 02:51:06 PM
I don't think I posted this one of me, all real stuff (i.e. no wig thing...), how do you think I'm coming along? I think I can see a bit of a girl in there somewhere.. hair is just onto shoulders at the moment at the back and an inch or so past my ears (apart from the bits that need 'repairing'.....)

(https://i.imgur.com/ygkgnsB.jpg?2)

Katie, I really like this picture!  I see 100% beautiful woman there.

Thank you all, Hair band takes hair up about 2" anyway but I  definitely need grafting asap.
Just trying to leave it as late as possible so that I can get FFS done at the same time. HR at work classify this as justifiable time off so will take as long as it needs (on full pay of course). Helps them with their 'Diversity' targets

Still loving it all - even had random weeping session just thinking about all the beautiful friends that I have, here and in family.

Got another text from future sister in law wanting to bring my mom down to see me so that she is free from any male influence (Dad still a problem and possibly will always be, so love him  - and mom of course). Not going to stop that at all.. Really love the sisters together stuff.

Look for the good and it has always been there.

Bless

Luv n Hugz


Katie

:-*      ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Well, now, Not only does future sister in law want to bring my Mom up to see me as per last post, but my Cousin, well she want to bring my Godmother and Aunt over to see me as well as she thinks I was really lovely at the weekend and she felt very much at ease with me (Katie). Seems like the ladies of the family are mobilising... that just leaves my eldest brothers wife, but as she recently had a bereavement and her Mom isn't too well then I doubt she will be of a mind to come just yet. Remember these ladies, apart from my future sister in law, are people who have known me the whole of my life or at least 50 years. I will have to bake them a cake to celebrate I think. Now there is a thing, more pictures of cakes... Very much looking forwards to all these meetings.
And the lilies from my Cousin are blooming, but my pink ones are being reluctant to it seems.... they have been in the vase about 5 days as well in bright light, plenty of water etc. Maybe just like me, a late bloomer :)

Pic (or it didn't happen and I did ask the lilies if they minded me posting a pic of them and they didn't say they minded..)
(https://i.imgur.com/Up9o4T7.jpg)

Makes a change from selfies or pictures of food.

Also today had another meeting with the HR manager and we made more progress on my coming out party thing at work. Im OK to let HR take a bit of a lead as of the 2,500 people at work, probably 1000 - 1600 have either worked with me, seen me, recognised me or otherwise and its only fair they all know at the same time... I will have 3 days in work as me before Xmas, but to tell the truth if it had to happen tomorrow then I'd go for it. Looking forwards to it really as the secret is getting stale for me and I need to move on.
HR lady thought my voice was coming on nicely as well as I narrated my personal message to the workforce to her (I just did it,  after all it is my message).
So all that R&B singing in the car on the way to work seems to be working well (well a few songs anyway as I don't have the vocal range and it strains if it try too much - I keep away from that as it can cause more problems with the voice than it solves).

So that's it folks, another blooming message from me

Luv n Hugz, as always

Katie

  :-*     :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :-* :-* ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

(p.s. any chance of more emoji..)

We will drink a drink to lily the pink (just popped into my head) sing along !!! Nice to see your moving along and HR are with you. XXXXX

Aha!!!!! thats unlike you Davina - you missed 'a drink' out (lol). 3 at a time on that song.. I remember it so well, in the ice cream parlour in my home town with my mom with her horn rimmed glasses, sigh, such a long long time ago.
Funny how memories surface with the right song..
Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*       ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:


ps your looking great at the moment, didn't want to say earlier as too many congrats at the time.

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
Wow what a wonderful and happy "blooming" report and update...  and the picture of your Lilies from your Cousin are beautiful.

.... and congratualations on your coming out events, meetings and parties....
 
I am starting to think that you will use any excuse to bake a cake....   use self control and don't eat it all yourself.

Thank you for sharing.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on October 08, 2018, 04:11:19 PM
@Katie Jade
I am starting to think that you will use any excuse to bake a cake....   use self control and don't eat it all yourself.
Danielle

Hi hun, well I don't think that's too bad a thing, I actually have more pleasure in seeing people like my cakes (I haven't baked many successful ones yet..) and I do enjoy the whole process really and keep thinking up really outlandish ones to try, I may have a go at some someday. (And as I cant put my cakes in the bin, they have to go somewhere... yummmmy)
I still need to make some pasties as well don't forget, so much to do...

I do so love your comments on my threads, make it worth while to see them so much appreciated, thanks again (as well to everyone else who read them of course).

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*     ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :o :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

Katie

Delighted  to hear you are going public at work just before Christmas.

Katie/Danielle

This record was before my time but I recall hearing it as a little boy. I think you will enjoy it:

"If I knew you were comin', I'd have baked a cake"

https://open.spotify.com/track/06wWO5cW33S382hivOkXrq

Hugs to all

Pamela

Pink Lilies still not out - maybe I should threaten to sing to them....  >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-)

Went to a 1st meeting for a 'local' trans group - they have been going a while but this was their first 'social' sort of event rather than a support group (Im not certain what the difference is) so it was in a pub that usually only opens Thursday to Sunday nights (bands and stuff sessions really). Loved it. of the 9 people who went (it will get more popular) I knew knew 2 at the start but got on really well with everyone, including the biker boyfriend (Harley rider...) who came in later for one of the girls. Definitely going back next month I think.

Told 2 more at work and they were both very supportive, one helps as a suicide counsellor and he gave me open time with him on anything (I didn't know he did that) and the other was all 'wow', shook my hand and started to warn me about women and how they might react, then decided I probably knew most of it anyway, he lives in a house full of women, wife, mother, Grandmother, daughters etc. He is out numbered I think...
Another booked for tomorrow and one final one that I am somewhat hesitant about.
Hopefully it wont get out too soon at work, but I don't really mind if it does. Everyone so far seems to be keeping quite...

By this time in 9 weeks the grand unveiling will have been done and Ill probably be on the Gin and Tonics...... hic..

Luv n Hugz
Katie

:-*       ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
I just love reading the good, happy, and postive updates by you on your thread.....  reading your good report puts a big smile on my face and all I can feel is happiness for you that things are going so well for you on many fronts, but now especially with your coming out process and progress.....  all of this coming out and no longer hiding your secret is so "freeing" for you and allows you to start enjoying your life a lot more.   
I will eagerly be following your additional coming out experiences and then of course the grande finale at Christmas time.

Thank you for sharing with all of us...
Hugs and continued well wishes,
Danielle

Its the running start not the 'grande finale' I think, but I know what you mean.
GLad you like my witterings as they are often random bits dropped on everybody, but most are highlights of my life at the moment, not as scrumptious as your stuff though, OMG... go girl go !!!!

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*     ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :angel: :angel: >:-) :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

On the UP escalator to full time then dear, must send you the date and walnut tea loaf recipe to test your skills (its easy but can be overcooked easily) Have a G&T for me.XXXXXX

Quote from: davina61 on October 11, 2018, 03:31:04 PM
On the UP escalator to full time then dear, must send you the date and walnut tea loaf recipe to test your skills (its easy but can be overcooked easily) Have a G&T for me.XXXXXX

#Will do but its a few weeks off yet - maybe time to hone my skill on making a G&T  nutcake.
Seem to be overcooking my expectations maybe, whatever  lets get it over and Enjoy, like the G&T cake.

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*      :-* :-* :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Hi
Today I went to my second Trans-Staffordshire meeting this week. Met a girl who about 30 years ago, self operated.... OMG!!!!! definitely not recommended, she was lucky to survive. She had some pics and stuff and she was a good looking girl before any 'operation'. Anyhow she has had a very wonderful relationship with her husband until he passed-on recently. She was really wonderful to listen to and clearly has had a good life. We had a long chat about everything and we will continue out chat next time we meet. She is a wealth of info as I'm sure you can guess.

The other meeting earlier this week was a social in Stoke on Trent, at a pub called the old Brown Jug. Its a live music venue but we had it all to ourselves that night. Very trans friendly place and the bikers apparently are quite protective of the girls that go there. Lovely place and lovely people.

Ex and mother in law came round last night and drank most of my gin and wine (well I had a little as well), so another night off tonight.

Feeling really good at the moment, I should get out more during the day though.

TC everybody

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*      :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

Not posted for a short while, but getting so much doubt at the moment I didn't want to post. Just over 8 weeks to full time at work if I go through with it. If I dont then no one will believe me anymore anyway now, if I do then Im so scared as to the outcome, so much self doubt I'm getting at the moment. Getting a little freaked out to tell the truth.
I have two massive sides to this, everyone I talk to about it says go for it, everyone who I come out to says they are with me and good luck and it will all be fine, but.... Im back at square one it feels like, with the shame and anxiety coming in waves.
So hate this, I never asked for it.
Laters
Katie

Quote from: Katie Jade on October 16, 2018, 04:42:30 PM
Not posted for a short while, but getting so much doubt at the moment I didn't want to post. Just over 8 weeks to full time at work if I go through with it. If I dont then no one will believe me anymore anyway now, if I do then Im so scared as to the outcome, so much self doubt I'm getting at the moment. Getting a little freaked out to tell the truth.
I have two massive sides to this, everyone I talk to about it says go for it, everyone who I come out to says they are with me and good luck and it will all be fine, but.... Im back at square one it feels like, with the shame and anxiety coming in waves.
So hate this, I never asked for it.
Laters
Katie

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
Please read my following coming out summary and determine if any of it can be of help to you in your decision to make your world aware of the new "Katie Jade".

I had been living full time as a female or over 1 1/2 years in a place that no one knew of my past and secret and there all of a sudden was one person (my dental hygienist and now my suitor#4) that figured out that I was not a cis-woman, upon her letting me know what she discover, I immediately became fearful, then distraught and so very worried about how it would all turn out for me.... I was very afraid of losing some very good friends that I had made since I moved here.....  so I made the bold and brave decision to announce myself and I told everyone and came out to everyone that I encountered in my normal daily business and social activities.   

Nervous and apprehensive are words that do not come close to describing the anxiety that I felt....   but in the end, it was the right move for me to make the announcement about my past life myself, instead of people finding out via the grapevine gossip which by nature, would not be kind and benevolent toward me as a trans-woman.   

Each and every time I told someone else it became easier and easier.
It was like a big weight was lifted off of my shoulders and off of my mind.
I found that with that load off of me that I could start living more freely and more happily.

The majority of those that know me, accepted me and my transition... there were very few that did not.   I then happily discovered that my friends that I had previously established that knew me as a responsible and respectful woman came to my defense when they heard others talking badly about me being a trans-woman.

Coming out on my terms by making my own announcement and not letting gossip start was the best thing that I could have done.  Lesson learned!

Best wishes to you. I sincerely hope that you find my thoughts helpful to you in your coming out situations.
Danielle

You must go through with this, yes you will be apprehensive as its a big step but when you see nothing bad happens and the relief you will get you will wonder why you had doubts . Go for it love, hold your head high and be your true self.XXXXXXXXX 

Katie it's normal for us to over-think and have knots in our stomach when we anticipate all these changes.  Part of our past habits is denying ourselves the right to be who we are - letting arbitrary and unnecessary traditions define us all those years.  In the future you'll look back on this and realise transition is a decision to allow yourself to live naturally.  The change does take adjustment and time.  An adjustment as you are emerging as a beautiful butterfly. 

Hi and thanks for your comments of support Danielle, Davina and Kendra.
You are of course dear to me and I take your comments to heart as they are so supportive, and of course you will have been where I am at the moment.
Ive managed to blag a lift from my Ex into Derby tomorrow and a further lift into Nottingham, with a dear friend, to go on the 'Nottingham Invasion'. Lets see how that goes. Im probably all out there with black cami under a webbing  bat wing top (I so liked Kendra's from the Birmingham meet up, and its lovely to wear) with a just above the knee pleated red and black tartan skirt , black tights (its getting cold) and some low heeled boots, with my leather jacket and a scarf of course. Trying not to look too 'easy' but its not a clingy outfit so should be ok. Ill post pics if I can on Sat.

I don't know why but I am so up and down at the moment. I was 2 weeks late with my AA injection which wasn't helping as horrible stuff started happening, and I was sleeping badly.  8 Weeks from now and it will all be out at work and my future changed. No going back. Talked to my youngest son today as he is having doubts over his career. I said just go for it  as many don't follow their degree subject anyway so maybe just get a good STEM subject degree and you will be OK (science, technology, engineering and mathematics ). He isn't artistic so arty and life subjects aren't for him I think. He can have them as a hobby anyway. He is so nice to me face to face, but has his frst appointment with his doctor over depression next week. I cant help but know I contributed to it. That makes me sad so I am trying to be there for him as much as possible.
Anyway, Im not dwelling on that. Ill post a pic of what I may be going out in but maybe cut the head off it as no make up and concentrating on the phone etc. Also standing like a builder and not feminine... need those heels on I think..

Look away now...

(https://i.imgur.com/lJzd5FS.jpg)

Well, sleep well and may your god bless you if you have one , if not bless you anyway.

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*        ??? ??? ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :-* ??? ??? ??? ;D ??? ;D ???

Looking glam dear,knock em dead!!!!

Settled on this setup, a bit black and white but a splash of blue with the necklace (and makeup when I get it on);
With Jacket;
(https://i.imgur.com/EH8FMF5.jpg?1)

and without;
(https://i.imgur.com/3ubh6d0.jpg?1)

With my boots of course so should be a good night.

Luv n Hugz

:-*      ;D ;D ??? ??? :-* :angel: :angel: ??? ;D ;D

Well, had best night ever but Imnot cetain posting is doing anything for me so Im off till later - TC and HF

Katie

???                                 ??? ??? ??? :-* :-* ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :embarrassed:

Quote from: Katie Jade on October 20, 2018, 06:27:57 PM
Well, had best night eve but Imnot cetain posting is doing anything for me so Im off till later - TC and HF

Katie

???                                 ??? ??? ??? :-* :-* ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :embarrassed:

[/color][/b]

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
What?
Be advised girl, that your postings are indeed doing things for your followers.

We want to regularly see your thread updates!!!...
....and we want to hear about your evening out...
Looking at your pictures you were dressed so beautifully and pretty.

Hugs,
Danielle

YES that and a cake update (and walnut)

Evening all..

Well just spent the last of my weekend finishing a presentation to the president of my  global company. Not much pressure there then, but Im still short of several links  to KPIs etc. Whatever I will just have to be sincere and blag it I suppose. It will be OK as long as the message gets across. I will smile a lot maybe :) lol

Anyway, Friday night was so really good, went out (you saw what I was wearing frm earlier posts). Loved it. didn't get much attention  but there again some say I have good legs and I suppose they were looked at more than my face (lol in my dreams). Anyway my dear friend and her friend gave me a lift to the start pub - here is a photo and they said it was OK for me to name them and show pics, me, Vanessa  and Tina  (L 2 R)..;
(https://i.imgur.com/PpAHE50.jpg?1)

Tina and Vanessa are possibly moving towards a closer relationship, I don't know, but they are both so lovely anyway.

Sorry about the quality of the pics..
(https://i.imgur.com/F9e06Mh.jpg)

So like them both, supportive and really sound and likable personalities.

From there we went to the centre of Nottingham (Usual Nottingham Invasion route) but the next pub had a live shouty singer on so we left. One of the girls had just got engaged to her girlfriend  so she came out and talked to us for a min, she and her fiancée were in soft bondage gear for fun, and I got a whack on my bum from her crop (that smarted a bit, not my thing though, well not now..). Of to a third pub and this one had a dance floor with 80's music playing. Well I just started dancing and only stopped for  drinks and a bag of peanuts.
Eventually we went back to the start pub by which time it was full, the dance floor booming and I just had such a wonderful time dancing, loads of cis girls talking and dancing with me, OMG that was so good. Danced on and off till about 2:30am by which time we were all hot and sweaty (no pics sorry).. and my feet were aching in my boots.... (only 2" heels...). Got lift back to derby and a taxi from there, got in at about 3:30 I think, cleaned up and fell asleep a really tired, happy and content girl.
Loved it all...

So yesterday was a come down, and did stuff, but today was more focussed, Tina came round for a coffee before she goes to Brighton for her 'appointment'. Good luck to her and god bless.

As for me I cleaned the whole house, including the soffits, entrance door windows, gas and the electricity meter boxes (they made the front look shabby), mowed all my lawns, did the presentation as far as I could, and decided that you girls are too nice for me not to continue my random blabbing's to. So bad luck I will continue XX.

Hope you enjoyed my witterings

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*      ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Hello again

I am so pleased to read you had a wonderful night out on Friday and that the weekend was so productive both in terms of your presentation and for your house. I love mowing the lawns for the necessary 7 months or so but hope mine at the weekend was the last this year but not sure as sometimes it even grows early November!

Sending Love and wishing you Happiness.

Pamela

Party girl!!!! looks like you had a fun time , hope the presentation goes well . Do you want to come and clean my flat? was going to have a tidy today but after spending all day cleaning and moving stuff in my unit its lost the urgency!!!!

Hi
Not much to report I think.
Thanks Pamela for your comment, yes my presentation went well and fully accepted by the President who also commented that the department I am currently running (as my boss had a M/C accident and is off several weeks) continues to do great work, and thanks Davina for the opportunity to do some more cleaning.... (looks at piles of ironing waiting for me...).
Had to give pep-talk to my youngest regarding his final year at school and the effort he needs to put in to get the choice he wants for a university. Im not sure he took it all in but hopefully he will change and spend as much time revising as he currently does playing games.... lets see. He's either doing Physics or Accounting and finance, Hmm, not sure if hes decided on a career yet.

Looking forward to visiting a support group tomorrow night, Will need to go in one of my furry hooded coats as its getting a little chilly here (relatively of course, this isn't Alaska..) down to about 4C here at night and damp. Im so nesh I think.

On new blood thinners now, not Warfarin, these don't need constant blood thinners, so I hope they suit me. My INR has been all over the place for a few months though so this new stuff is apparently much better and just one pill a day. Downsides are that it has a short halflife, so can not ever miss a pill, and also unlike Warfarin, there aren't any antidotes to it so if I need an operation or if I have a serious bleed then they cant just switch it off like you can do with Warfarin (Vitamin K injection I think).

What else, well nothing much. Dog sitting my Dog as my ex is taking the kids for a few days away at one of those forest camp things. Will love having here for a bit, but as shes getting old she wont be able to jump up or down onto the bed. She used to come in and jump on us some morning, quite a rude awakening sometimes. Hopefully lots of walkies so I hope it stays dry.

There we go then, I suppose I had better get the iron out..

Luv n Hugz

Katie

PS; 9 month blood tests tomorrow (a little late I know..)

:-*     ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ::) ::) ::) :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* ;D

Ouch that one hurt...
I think she put the needle through the back of my vein, and pulled it into the bloodstream for each vial the filled. 3 vials this time as they take/measure all my bloods each time, is that usual?. I think that was a bit of a bone scraper moment with the needle though, and Im not looking forward to the bruise as my anti-coagulant medicine make it look like Im a junkie for a few days... Well I think so anyway. But lets see as Im on the new meds and not the Warfarin as posted earlier. If its gruesome then Ill post a pic.   >:-)

Well, of to a support group in a couple of hours,so its going to be black A-line/skater skirt and one of 2 tops, lilac and white wide bands, boat neck, or a black and white narrow band with a v neck. Although too much black (I have a black cardigan or whatever thing to keep warm with) I think the 'v' neck as it shows more 'shape'.. no point in having 'them' to hide them away if you know what I mean. Hmm decisions decisions....

Talk later as I need to get tea ready as well.

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*    ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Quote from: Katie Jade on October 25, 2018, 10:25:50 AM
3 vials this time as they take/measure all my bloods each time, is that usual?
Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*    ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

It appears so if under GenderGP supervision. My NHSGP examined many blood readings Aug 14th and he has called for the lot again Nov 12th.

Hugs

Pamela

Drs have ballsed up again, nothing sent for H levels, so have to rebook etc etc.
Quite annoyed at them as I specifically reminded them.

Grumpy now....

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*   ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ???

Sorry to hear that. Good luck for next week both for rebooking and for allround results.

Hugs

Pamela  xx

Well next blood test 22 Nov, that 6 weeks late. Oh well never mind. I have told my Consultant though.
Not feeling too well at the moment so came back from work md morning during a lul in my illness activities.., not going into details much I cant hold food down at all etc, blotchy chest, headaches aching all over, including my chest which is a new one for me (illness wise anyway), and completely out of energy, semi sleep a lot. Ex will come over tomorrow to check on me. Needless to say Ill probably be off forum for a day or two. Ill keep my fluids up and see what happens, if I'm as bad tomorrow morning then its off to the Docs.. hopefully they can see me before 22 Nov (sarcasm there).
Sorry for grotty post.
Take care
Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*     :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :'( :'( :'( :( :(

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:   
Please get well soon....  and for sure, get to your doctor if you are still not feeling well in the next day or so.

I hope that you and the doctors can get the details and paperwork done, and your bloodtest on Nov 22 .... I am trusting and hoping and that all goes well for you.

Stay down, rest and get better....
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Feeling a little better so posted a new avatar  - ignore the grimacing smile though.
luv you all

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*    ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D ;D

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
Your brand new avatar/profile picture is a treat for all of us to see... 
You don't look sick at all, you look absolutely beautiful. 
I take it that you are not planning to see your doctor anytime soon??

You look so good in your red dress, and a big smile too!!!

Thank you for sharing your new photo and keeping all of us updated.
Hugs and Hugs,
Danielle

Dear Danielle, thanks for your reassurance of my looks, however I was back in bed shortly after taking this and posting it. It cheered me up a lot, and I slept better. I think I look pale and a little flushed in places which isn't like me  really. Indeed I may be back at work tomorrow, albeit 6lb lighter (yes I know a lot will be water loss) and even though eating is a bit of a challenge with my achy tummy. So no unless I'm not significantly better tomorrow, I wont be seeing a Doc. And of course I have taken a leaf out of your book, and smile a lot, you never know when someone may take a photo and I don't want to look like a sour puss after all.
Ex came round and tidied up a bit for me which was nice of her. She was concerned as I am not often so under the weather and she didn't like the sound of me when she phoned earlier. I am so lucky she is still such a good friend.
Anyway not much to report other than that.
So laters all
Take care

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*    ;D :( ;D ??? ;D ;D ;D :'( ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel:

Well not a happy bunny tonight.
Not only does the global chairman demand we are on standby all day and later into the evening on Thursday for a meeting we will never get called to, for a load of information we don't yet have, but also I'm starting to rebel against what HR think is the best way to come out at work.
Most people know me and those that don't Im not worried about. So I want a little bit of a personal touch for many of then (maybe 200+ of the 350 in the office). They are pressing for a general email from the Company stating that Im Trans and will be called Katie from a certain date. Bollocks to that, many are my friends and acquaintances for the last 5 years, and I need a little softer and slightly more wordy / personal statement or meeting. Im half tempted just to say stuff them and that Im out and about tomorrow. But I wont, Ive too much work to do to have to talk to everyone individually and cant be interrupted.
So im going to have to influence HR a lot more. They can do the Corporate crap after me as Im the important one in all this.
Sorry Im grumpy but I have to get this right, as I rely on my personal relations with most people, and HR approach may stuff this up.
And only 5 weeks to sort it out, and of course lose that 3 stone I need to get rid of.
Also trying to get a little more emphasis on the fact that I am part way through my transition journey and I have a long way to still go.
Oh well. ill have another meeting with them soon I think.
I may post my personal letter that I want read out or that I present on here some time. This is the one to accompany the management one and I want it to be read over directly after their short Corporate message or with me reading it out to the amassed hordes of people.

I suppose there is no perfect way to do this, but I want to be honest with my co-workers.

Oh well, I have to get back to dredging up meaningless KPIs and stuff...

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*    ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? >:-) >:-) ??? ??? :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D

@Katie Jade:
Dear Katie:
I am so very sorry to hear of your difficulties at your work... I am sure that you are very disappointed with the way that your situation is being handled... or not being handled.    I am not very happy to hear how they are treating you even though you have been up front and honest with them.

Your thought about posting your personal letter to have read out sounds like a good recourse and a possibly good solution to your dilemma.

In my old male-mode job I had similar fears about how the company and many of my co-workers were going to react to my official coming out...  so because I was fortunate to be in the position to quit and move on, I did... therefore bypassing the entire situation.  I took the easy way out but of course not everyone can do that.

I trust that all will work out for you...

Also as a side note, why wait for 5 weeks?... do it now and get it over with.   
Waiting so you can lose 3 stone (~40 pounds) is not going to make any difference in my opinion.  I am just thinking out loud here.

I am wishing you success and wishing you well as always,
I will be eagerly looking for your positive reports about all of this.
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on November 05, 2018, 04:05:55 PM
@Katie Jade:
Dear Katie:
I am so very sorry to hear of your difficulties at your work... I am sure that you are very disappointed with the way that your situation is being handled... or not being handled.    I am not very happy to hear how they are treating you even though you have been up front and honest with them.

Your thought about posting your personal letter to have read out sounds like a good recourse and a possibly good solution to your dilemma.

In my old male-mode job I had similar fears about how the company and many of my co-workers were going to react to my official coming out...  so because I was fortunate to be in the position to quit and move on, I did... therefore bypassing the entire situation.  I took the easy way out but of course not everyone can do that.

I trust that all will work out for you...

Also as a side note, why wait for 5 weeks?... do it now and get it over with.   
Waiting so you can lose 3 stone (~40 pounds) is not going to make any difference in my opinion.  I am just thinking out loud here.

I am wishing you success and wishing you well as always,
I will be eagerly looking for your positive reports about all of this.
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle

Danielle
Don't worry, I know I will only lose a little more weight before coming out at work, I'm still in transition so as long as I have that goal I'm OK to move slowly towards it.
Work is a pain but I will sort them, just highlighting the blundering Corporate administrative stuff. HR lady is really nice but she is moving towards Corporate rather than 'me' focus. That wont happen.

5 weeks, yes that is what I want really. Out a week before Xmas to catch everyone with my revelation, and the 4 days in work before Xmas, so after the 2 week break I'm old news....
maybe still hiding a little but it softens the blow for them. And me.
 
And 40 lb. will make a big difference to me, I'm not that overweight that it wont...

Joking - I know what you meant.

Thanks for your supportive comment's as ever Danielle, (Special Hugz to you btw)

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*    :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D ;D

Oh well, Global Chairman here on Thursday and everyone running round doing stuff like headless chickens. Im sure if he saw the massive wasted effort and stuff that people are doing he would do his nut. And Im involved again so doing zero value adding stuff for a few days and projects will get delayed further..

Anyway, starting to get asked the real reason why im growing my hair out by some of the ladies at work. Im politely saying that Im just getting back to pre marriage days (which in a way I am as although I wouldn't ever change things, marriage has delayed me by a few decades, but I have my lovely boys and Ex still so no regrets there..). The things we delude ourselves with to avoid and dodge GD I suppose. Worked for me for years on and off, But im happy its got me in the end. Loving life with no regrets at the moment.
Oh and Pic with cheap Chinese top on tonight, rosy cheeks and stuff;

(https://i.imgur.com/s2vyish.jpg)

Practicing this level of work make up daily now (Foundation Eyebrows, light eyeshadow, and underlining eyes with shadow again, very slight touch of blusher (my cheeks are real life pink in the photo, as Ive been exercising again..) and lippy. I don't suppose you can see but Im trying to make it low key as a full face of party makeup wouldn't go down well at work obviously..

Anyway, my sons didn't eat the vanilla and strawberry cake I made them at the weekend as they 'ordered chocolate cake' -( is this my loss of male privilege biting...) so took to work and all the engineers who got some said it was a stunning but simple cake (I put loads of vanilla essence in it and diced strawberries mixed in jam and whipped cream for the centre. The top was dusted with icing sugar but had sort of melted and crystallised in the fridge since Sunday..)

Anyway another really nice simple cake. So love making them.

Not much else, BP on the 22, Nottingham invasion on the 15th(?) and a few support groups in between (If I can get out of work reasonably on time that is.).
Giving Tina a lift to her electro appointment, as my Laser Appt is an hour after on Friday (she is recovering well after her GRS, and she invited me for Sat evening meal over the weekend, she is such a nice friend. Meant I was off the G&T on Saturday for a change :)  ).

So definitely the end for tonight as I have to login work for some  'really important stuff' that can probably wait till tomorrow...,

Take care

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*   :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D ??? ??? :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D ;D

Katie I think your makeup looks quite natural - and great - as if you're not wearing any makeup.  That's a skill takes time to develop. 

Quote from: Kendra on November 06, 2018, 08:28:17 PM
Katie I think your makeup looks quite natural - and great - as if you're not wearing any makeup.  That's a skill takes time to develop.

Dear Kendra thanks for the compliment, its appreciated as I'm teaching myself with little feedback any more. Yes, it takes time and practice. Also the awareness that you are wearing it and cant rub eyes or blow your nose or scratch an itch without potentially making a mess. Being emotional and having severe eye wetting sessions can be difficult as well as again the effects can be down right disastrous and or annoying for my makeup. Indeed.
Anyway, cant go to support group tonight or tomorrow as I'm having to do work for the Global Chairman for another meeting tomorrow, and as usual he wants it to run into the evening. that's nice of him. As Im still not out at work, and using a compression vest to hide my blooming figure, staying that late  and being stuck in a meeting will be literally painful. Not looking forward to that at all.

So. too many jobs for tonight - wash and iron my new work blouses, cook, work stuff as mentioned, clean shoes as they have been gathering dust for a long time. Check my old Suit out - hopefully this will be the last occasion I will wear I,  and an early night to bed as the site management want 2 pre visit meetings. Makes you wonder some times. Still I wouldn't want their jobs (24/7 work access).

Id better get on then.
Laters

Take care
Luv n Hugz

Katie

  :-*   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D

Don't over do it dear, I gave up worrying about big boss visits as 1/2 the time they never turn up or introduce them self to you and then ignore you!!!! Well done on the cake and make up.XXXXXXX 

Quote from: Katie Jade on November 06, 2018, 03:44:25 PM

Anyway, starting to get asked the real reason why im growing my hair out by some of the ladies at work. Im politely saying that Im just getting back to pre marriage days (which in a way I am as although I wouldn't ever change things, marriage has delayed me by a few decades, but I have my lovely boys and Ex still so no regrets there..). The things we delude ourselves with to avoid and dodge GD I suppose. Worked for me for years on and off, But im happy its got me in the end. Loving life with no regrets at the moment.

Take care

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*   :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D ??? ??? :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D ;D

I agree Katie. The things we do consciously or subconciously for decades to delude ourselves to avoid GD. But it gets us all eventually! I feel precisely the same as you. I am also loving life and have no regrets.

Sending Love and Hugs

Pamela  xx

SO how did work go?? You been a busy girl?

Hi
Very quick update as still working (!!!!!!)
1. Out at work in just over 3 weeks (unless I completely screw this up and succumb to the mind stuff...)
2. Out at weekend in Nottingham for a couple of hours as its all I could afford (work is a BYTCH at the moment) - Ill ost pics when I can.
3. Cousin came over again and is trying to get all the Patriarchs to come over en mob. Mum , Godmother, Sister in law and Sister in law to be as well as herself. I said I needed 2 days least notice so I can clean the house, bake a cake etc
4. Ex giving pressure due to my job insecurity - she is worrying needlessly, she is still legally married to me and as such inherits all my stuff. Short term my payments to support the kids will be available anyway. Still love her though, so that's so hard.
5. Dad still not accepting, but Mum actually apologised to me for making me this way, to which I said its OK not her fault and I love being me  (well Im getting there).

Loads more but one of my Snr Engineers just sent me stuff for an early morning meeting with Company Globl president again , very early tomorrow...

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*     ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ??? ??? :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D ;D

Quote from: Katie Jade on November 18, 2018, 04:31:54 PM
Hi
Very quick update as still working (!!!!!!)
1. Out at work in just over 3 weeks (unless I completely screw this up and succumb to the mind stuff...)
2. Out at weekend in Nottingham for a couple of hours as its all I could afford (work is a BYTCH at the moment) - Ill ost pics when I can.
3. Cousin came over again and is trying to get all the Patriarchs to come over en mob. Mum , Godmother, Sister in law and Sister in law to be as well as herself. I said I needed 2 days least notice so I can clean the house, bake a cake etc
4. Ex giving pressure due to my job insecurity - she is worrying needlessly, she is still legally married to me and as such inherits all my stuff. Short term my payments to support the kids will be available anyway. Still love her though, so that's so hard.
5. Dad still not accepting, but Mum actually apologised to me for making me this way, to which I said its OK not her fault and I love being me  (well Im getting there).

Loads more but one of my Snr Engineers just sent me stuff for an early morning meeting with Company Globl president again , very early tomorrow...

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*     ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ??? ??? :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D ;D

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
Don't let your mind talk you out of your coming-out at  work in just 3 weeks... please don't chicken out... unless of course you deem in necessary....  I will be rooting for you and for your successful coming out at work.

Even though you didn't post details it sounded like you had a good time out as the new you in Nottingham...  it is such a good feeling to venture out like that.

The family mob coming to your house... will this be a happy and good time for you???

Ahhhh, the issues that one can have with their EX... and especially and EX that has your kids....   I trust that you will work through this for a fair and amicable solution.

Sorry to hear that your Dad is still not accepting but if it is any comfort to you, after 4+ years of transitioning and almost 2 years of being full-time, neither my dad or mom accept me still...   
I am tentatively planning the long trip "back home' to see them at Christmas time or possibly in January next year.   I do still love them and am obligated to respect them because they are my parents.
In situations like this I am determined to be kind, loving and respectful and to not get into arguments that no one can win.

Thank you for your quick update, I am always eager to look for your thread and check up on you.
Hugs and thank you for sharing.
Danielle

Invites sent to my Senior Managers for a meeting in a few weeks and another for my peer managers.... Ooooo....
Actually I mean Yayyyyayayayayay  :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Luv N Hugz

Katie

:-*    ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

A few things I forgot to mention;
1. I hope everyone respected TDOR in some way yesterday. Having opened my eyes to this community properly in the last few years, I am truly horrified of what has gone on. I knew it could be bad. I saw that 20 years ago when one of my engineers transitioned. That was a bad time for her and transphobia seemed to be quite acceptable then, I remember. I hated watching it all unfold for her, and its a measure of my journey that I cant stand idly by anymore on this abuse.

2. Sorry I forgot to post pics of last weekend in Nottingham.
I was going to make a night of it and was set for a long night wearing this stuff;

(https://i.imgur.com/whHOtV3.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/RDJS2ez.jpg)

but as most of the girls seemed to want a quieter night and were saving up for Xmas, I opted for something more casual;
(https://i.imgur.com/ileuP0E.jpg)

Which was quite comfortable and anyway as there was no gin in sight as I was driving (First time driving myself to a night out ), we had a good few hours in the pub, a few dances and then off home. I so like that area of Nottingham as its quite Trans inclusive. Its near the GIC by the way. Obviously you still have to be careful but we are generally tolerated.

Made more new friends and met some old ones as well. All good.

3. (re requested update) Meetings with Boss man/men continue, but 'unfortunately' i'll have to miss the next one as I have a blood test appt. (Hormones) and I will not miss that this time. Usual 'Direction' enabling us to lose more time on projects as we are doing stuff for them, telling us what we know already (if you point that out they say we don't understand and tell us again...'groan'...). Still they have got where they are as they have the loudest shouty voices and are all knowing and omnipresent. Truthfully they are intelligent but have their own agendas which we are not party to. Mass politicisation and contradicting demands between them. All good fun to watch, until its directed at you by more than one Boss... So discretely keeping my head down.

Will be interesting to turn up in a skirt in a few weeks. Or not. Ill keep away from that for the time being then if I can.

4. no update on the female mob of relatives visiting yet. Might chase my Cousin..

OK well Im off.
Thanks for everyone's posts and comments, I love them all.

Take care,

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*     ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :-* ??? :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
Wow... your time at Nottingham looked like a wonderful time....  you look terrific in all of the pics.   
... first pic:   Great looking legs!!!  ;)

I will be waiting impatiently for your work place coming-out update in a few weeks...
...as always I am wishing you well.

Thanks for keeping your thread interesting and up to date... and for posting your pictures from time to time.
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle

Next step         - Deed poll to be applied for.
Status              - Done.
Feelings           - Good.
Outlook            - Gin and Tonic after Steak and Aloo Saag Gosht side + yet another fabulous Vanilla and Strawberry cake + Ice cream (just a bit)
Further outlook  - Guilty feeling having eaten - (looks for girly flic on Netflix..)
Future               - Looking and feeling happy. Sod the world - They will just have to put up with me.

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*

(Thanks Danielle for your sweet response to my last post. Yes I love my legs, and as Im not trying to maintain the level of muscle they used to have, are starting to get  more lovely in my eyes. - TC, L&H'z)

Now that's the correct attitude , save some ice cream for me-----

Not a chance - its all mine. Looking to make some home made Ice cream soon. My gran (bless her) used to make some in the 70's . Was more like milky vanilla stuff but was what she made in WWII for her patients.. Love her so much for that.
Bless

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*     :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* ??? ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel:

Have an Indian ice cream recipe so might do that, stuck in with a raging cold at the moment ahchoo.

Off shopping to Nottingham in a couple of hours. Should be interesting....
Luv n Hugz
Katie
:-*    ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? :police: :police: :police: ;D ;D ??? ??? :angel: :angel: ;D ;D

Post pics later but fair to say I didn't get clocked I think, a few  - is she or isn't she but nothing worse than that. Loved it and it was so crowded with the Xmas fair on as well. Lovely place and lovely people it seems.
Post pics when I can.
Gn all

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*       ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :o :o :o 8) :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :o :o ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D    :-*

Quote from: Katie Jade on November 24, 2018, 06:56:07 PM
Post pics later but fair to say I didn't get clocked I think, a few  - is she or isn't she but nothing worse than that. Loved it and it was so crowded with the Xmas fair on as well. Lovely place and lovely people it seems.
Post pics when I can.
Gn all

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*       ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :o :o :o 8) :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :o :o ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D    :-*

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
Thank you for posting your update....  and not getting clocked, that is such a neat feeling for you.
I will indeed be looking for your pictures when you post them....

Oh, by the way, as others have commented, you look absolutely lovely in your red dress as pictured on your Avatar/Profile pictue.

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Received Deed polls today... tempted to sign now but  will wait and do it properly.
Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D ;D

Pictures I should have posted earlier from Saturday;

Pics whilst shopping at Victoria Centre Nottingham;

(https://i.imgur.com/3xSxdsQ.jpg)

And buying stuff and interacting with real people (lol);

(https://i.imgur.com/BlLnUc5.jpg)

All everyday boring stuff but was exciting.

Talk later

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ::) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Katie as time goes on you are getting more comfortable with yourself - I see this in your photos, in your everyday experiences, and in person when we met in September.  I am so happy for you! 

Quote from: Kendra on November 30, 2018, 05:56:57 PM
Katie as time goes on you are getting more comfortable with yourself - I see this in your photos, in your everyday experiences, and in person when we met in September.  I am so happy for you!

My dear Kendra how right you are. For the most part Im loving where I am now and relishing in the thoughts of where I will be in the coming months and years. Happiness is always welcome, I can surely feel it from you, even though you are so far away.

On another topic(s), my meds have been increased again, so that will be interesting to see what else happens as Im still quite achy in all the right place. I'm off Warfarin as well and onto a NOAC alternative, so I think as their effect isn't affected by alcohol or green leaf food stuffs, I can alter my diet a bit again (not the booze as Im well down on that with occasional drinks only). Unfortunately it means I can still eat all the cakes I seem to be making nowadays (my office co-workers are really happy to help dispose of cake remnants and even whole cakes on occasion..).

Talked to my friends in the village about my situation (as we haven't seen them for several months and I wasn't out to them), and they were very accepting, In fact I think that at least one of their kids is LGB or at least is looking to be when she grows up, and they also have relatives who are trans anyway. The lady of the house indicated that if I ever wanted to I could come over for drinks whether her husband was there or not. Hmm interesting. But as we have known them many years and they are honest nice people that's all good.

Last bit before I lie down again, is that I'm having the first cold of the season, so feeling physically grotty and headachy. But I'm still smiling as I'm realising my life to be what it should be. That will see me through anything, I know that to be so true.

Take care everybody

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*    :-* :-* :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-*

Just got over my first cold, took 4 days so hope yours ends quick.

Quote from: Katie Jade on November 30, 2018, 08:39:44 AM
Pictures I should have posted earlier from Saturday;

Pics whilst shopping at Victoria Centre Nottingham;

(https://i.imgur.com/3xSxdsQ.jpg)

And buying stuff and interacting with real people (lol);

(https://i.imgur.com/BlLnUc5.jpg)

All everyday boring stuff but was exciting.

Talk later

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ::) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
Terrific pictures, thank you for sharing with your followers...

Yes indeed, you are doing "everyday stuff" ...
...that is so very enjoyable and nice, you should consider doing it more often as I am certain that you will be doing in the future.

You are looking like quite the female shopper at the shopping center!!!  :)
Hugs,
Danielle

Gulp.... 3 working days left as 'him' then its all out in the open. About time I think. Will still have to be discrete about the village so that it minimises the potential of kids at my sons school finding out. That wouldn't be good for him, but as he has his A levels this year then its only a few months and I will try and do my food shopping out of the village. Ex is making sounds about my eldest living with me when he finishes Uni this year. Fat chance of that as there isn't room, and id loose out on my single person occupancy discounts. That is unless he has a job and can contribute. Truth be told if 'push comes to shove' then of course he will be staying here. Its just the 2am mid-week 'keeping Kate awake' regular occurrences wont be tolerated.
With my rise in meds to now double what they started out as (I'm loosing space on my legs for patches it seems), things are going again and definitely feel the blossoming again. Will need to try even harder at loosing a few stone.... As My Warfarin has been changed to a NOAC type then I can vary my diet a lot more which is good as it releases the green leaf stuff onto my plate more.
Still baking cakes, having 1 or 2 slices and taking them into work. My Engineers are even asking when Im doing the next one, which was actually yesterday.
The cake, a carrot and ginger cake (again), if /was for the visit of my mother, Aunt, Sister in law and cousin, tomorrow :o :o :o :o :o :o.
So the house will be full of girls tomorrow. Its mums first time with Katie, so I need to make it extra nice and special for her without overdoing it. I just want her to like me. She is finding it very hard to adjust but this is such a big step for both of us. Dad isn't coming, but then again I don't expect him to for a long time if ever.
We aren't just eating cake of course, Sue  (cousin) is bringing a cooked chicken, I'm doing salad, olives, warm bread, pate, baked potatoes coleslaw, and drinkies as necessary. House has been cleaned downstairs and I'm about to do upstairs, so Ill leave off here I think.
Oh and Ill have to finish drying and ironing the weeks haul of washing.. That's after I have been down to Aldi for some salad stuff of course. Definitely finishing here...

(I think I need a few more photos to post so let me see if I can remember tomorrow)

Take care
Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*    ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D 8) 8) :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :laugh: :laugh: ;D ;D ;D ;D

Yes glue marks on the legs, hardly cleaned it of one area before its time to stick one back on that side again. Made my sister a choc/orange cake and gave it to her today as we both had lunch with mum and aunty. Will wait to see if it was any good. So the Katie countdown is nearly over, I am sure it will go fine dear. Got the Christmas decorations up yet??

Dear Davina
Yes I have them up, or at least my half of them so they are pretty sparse but tree looks nice. Ill try and post a pic or two.  Tree isn't big as the room is very busy anyway.
Hope you and your BFF mend quickly (but be careful) so you can enjoy this Xmas, its going to be a good one  :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:.
TC
Luv n Hugz


Katie

OK , where to start.
Offered a lift up to 'Leeds First Friday' (look it up), and had already been offered a bed for the night, but had to refuse both as I couldn't be in a state for my mums visit on Saturday. Anyway spent the night cleaning crockery, and the house generally.
So big day arrives and Im tidying up again, finishing off ironing  (as usual) and putting together the buffet, salad and stuff. (Sorry no pics, was too busy and forgot,, again...)
Put the potatoes in foil , add a bit of water and in to the oven to bake for 2 hrs on low heat. 10 Minutes before the ladies arrival I pop the bread in and turn the heat up, jacket potatoes out of the foil and into the higher heat to crisp up the skins a bit.
Anyway the lades arrive, first Cousin ('S') with 3 bunches of flowers, and Xmas cards, then my Godmother ('J')with a bottle of wine for Xmas, followed by my younger brothers fiancée (Lets call her 'C'). Finally mum enters, looks at me and smiles and I knew everything was really going to be OK. 'Hello Katie' she says and we have a really big hug, tears welling up, and my heart doing flips. Yes, its definitely going to be ok.
Well got everyone a drink, tea, white wine and diet soda. And gradually the chatting accelerates and we all become acquainted to each other. I have only ever briefly talked to 'C' a couple of times before. As she hadn't been to any of my houses ever, so took her on a mini tour, and chatted. She was so warm and accepting I know she will be a really good friend and ally in the years to come. We had a bit more of a chat before descending to the lounge again, and we briefly touched on my situation, but no more, she was really thinking ahead and what we could do to get my father on-board. Lots of cunning plans will come out of this I am sure.
Back to the lounge and out with the buffet which was chicken dish (by 'S') my potatoes salad and all sorts of accompaniments, bread butter dressings, humus, olives etc etc.
Despite us all eating, the noise level rose and the laughter and subjects talked about were lovely (Sheep, mad black cows, footpaths, mad me in the village that 'S' and 'C' live in ('S' is a farmers with and ex advertising exec..). I felt fully part of the group and could feel the intense difference between women's talk and that of a men. I know which one I prefer.
Lots more chatting and jokes and stuff until I reminded them that they still had my cake to go, Carrot and Ginger cake, With a thick cream layer - very scrummy.... It was (as I expected of course) hailed as a success, and 'C' asked me to supply a few cakes for a charity cake sale she want to do next year. Lovely. Certainly I will do that.
I suppose the many subjects we talked about will all resurface as time goes on but I was completely blown away by their full acceptance and absolute love that was shown me. I could not have been happier.
Well after 3 hours they had to leave, with lots of promises of doing another in the new year, this time at 'C's' house, and still definitely no men (my brother had wanted to come as well but was shooed away apparently). 'C' and 'S' are plotting to get my father to come round, its so lovely of them to help.
Well I got compliments in the way I dressed and presented myself (I was conservative in my attire) and although still recovering from a cold, they said that my voice is getting there as far as they could hear.
On her way out I looked my mum in the face and told her I loved her, and said to look into my eyes as I will always be here for her. She gave me a big hug and said good bye to me, signing off with a 'See you tomorrow then Katie' Which was so good to hear.
Well, I was on cloud 9 for the rest of the day, hardly noticing the clearing up (not much in reality as they had helped before leaving).
I slept so well last night, and am in a really good mood today, even if I was back in boy mode (Ewwww) to go and see my Mum and Dad for her birthday. Got a Christmas card off mum addressed to Katie as well. Dad more reserved in his approach to me, but he still loves me I know that. Time will heal there I know.
So that was my weekend.
Back to an exciting week at work.

3 Working days to go there and I can ditch the 'Drab' clothing. Cant wait I think. I hope that I don't get called into too many meetings with Directors before they and all the staff are briefed, but as Im working from home for a couple of days after my meeting with my managers and HR, that should be Ok.

Phew... What the future holds I don't know but I have a really good chance of having a really happy and loving time.

So happy at the moment.

Take care

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :-* :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

I did remember to get a shot of the Xmas tree though (Note basically 95% of my decos are on this tree.... Ill get more for next year)

(https://i.imgur.com/PQwNZFD.jpg)

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*   :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel:

How lovely to hear about the accepting and supportive women in your family!  What a lovely day!

Quote from: KathyLauren on December 09, 2018, 03:12:18 PM
How lovely to hear about the accepting and supportive women in your family!  What a lovely day!

Yes, I was quite amazed. Maybe through the 'fog' of my issues I couldn't see how much they cared for me. Lovely indeed.

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

That was lovely, glad it all went well. That's all the decorations I have as well just the tree. Big day soon then , go take them girl. XXXXXXXXX

Quote from: Katie Jade on December 09, 2018, 03:15:02 PM
Yes, I was quite amazed. Maybe through the 'fog' of my issues I couldn't see how much they cared for me. Lovely indeed.

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
An amazing update regarding your family gathering...  I am so very happy for you....
I have read your last few updates several times now, I wanted to capture every happy and affirming word as you described your recent events.

Your Christmas decorations look very nice and quite pretty.

Thank you again for sharing your happy events with all of us.
Hugs,
Danielle

Dear Davina and Danielle
Thanks for you posts, I do like both your comments on my stuff,  it does make it worth posting as I know two friends (amongst others of course) are reading it and I love your responses so keep them coming ladies :).

Ahem...... yes I suppose the spelling mistakes and abbreviated sentences make easy sense to me but I suppose they don't read easily to others maybe. Sorry was being a bit lazy with my diction there. Ill try harder next time but I hope you got the glorious feelings that I have.
Im well aware that there are challenges going forward but that's life and I'm getting on with it. Work, family, love (no idea what or when that will happen if ever). I suppose in some perverse way I'm looking forward to whatever life will now throw at me. Live life, Love life.

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*     ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D

KATIE!!  Your avatar - holy smoke.  Your updated avatar is stunning. 

And thinkin' about 3 days from now, what a milestone and a great thing that will be. 

BTW you have PM (sorry cant resist ) >:-)

2 days to go - OMG!!!

Thank you ladies.

Kendra for your kind appreciation of the FaceApp pic (did try and mention it was one below the Avatar), but gives me an idea what I could have looked like, maybe. And I like the pic anyway, I can see so much of myself in it. It will get changed to a normal pic when I take some more. Food for thought going forwards though....

Davina - We just need to set a day for the 'wardrobe assembly inspection' I need to do at your place. Send me a few dates and we can fix it. Looks like a potentially busy holiday period coming up for me, out and about, nice.

Anyway, today my direct boss asked me to cover in several meetings the end of this week and next week, with the global directors. I had to say I couldn't as I would be working from home due to personal circumstances, anyway I thought it would not be right to drop Katie on them in the middle of a series of key meetings, but didn't tell him that. I apologised but said it would be a bad idea due to circumstances. He was crestfallen and said he would find someone else. He is not 'in the know' and it will possibly be a bit of a blow for him on Thursday, but he will get over it I am sure and see that I am even more productive, when I have settled down a bit. The management style at work is a bit 1980/1990's though... we will see.

Not much else really except Im off to T night at the local gay pub in the city. It doesnt get too busy though as not much goes on in Derby...

Oh, and my recent increase in hormones are definitely kicking in with progress on all fronts, one 'front' in particular. Yay!!

So till next time, take care;

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*    ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :laugh: :laugh: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D ;)

Katie

So uplifting to read of your wonderful weekend and that things are progressing so well and that you are so, so happy.

Excellent avatar also.

I wish you all the best with going fulltime on Thursday. I know it will go well then and always thereafter.

At last everyone will see the true you and you will have the burden lifted forever!

Special Hugs

Pamela  xxxx

So if its 80s/90s at work do you have to wear padded shoulders and power suits????

I had typed a really nice reply but it got lost due to MS 'perfect software' glitch... Anyhow
In summary
1. Davina - yes looking forwards to wearing the old stuff again and kicking ass like a true Southfork Bytch (lol, seriously!!!!)
2. Signed my personal letter to all my colleagues today to go with the briefing on Thursday. First Katie Signature on any document - yay
3. Signed and dated my deed polls , so formally Katie now when I let them know so its Driving licence, banks, mortgages, Utilities, Pensions, Insurances, passport etc (Do we have problems travelling on a passport that says female when we are pre-OP?).
4. More Director meetings on Thursday which will co-inside with the mandatory HR ones, lets see who wins (Either way they will go ahead just a pity these 'planning ' meetings the directors need are screwing up all the deliverables they are planning to manage - what a lot of toss..s, maybe they need to understand no action is without effects, good and bad... )
5. Cant remember anything else except my other favourite aunt (used to be a gogo dancer in the 60's..... ) was told by my mum about me and all she said was she was sorry that this had happened and glad that I am now getting the happiness I deserve, awww bless, she was so nice. She will remember my name as she used to train puppies for 'guide dogs for the blind' and her first puppy was called Katie (I met that pup as well I remember). So another family hurdle done as well. Im waiting for her daughter to contact me as she and I got on so well. Hmmm, is there a reason I got on so well with all the girls in my family, more than the other boys anyway.

Its late I need to get in work early tomorrow to do prep for 'Planning',

Take care

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*    ;D ;D ;D ;D :-* :angel: :angel: :laugh: :laugh: :angel: :-* ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Hi everybody

No more full days at work in 'drab' mode and wrong name :)
Just tomorrow morning for a couple of hours then working at home until Tuesday in agreement with HR.
Cool.

Came out just a few hours in advance to a couple of ladies at work, and they were so positive and offered help and stuff. looks nice. In reality they are lovely women anyway, and so appreciative of pre-notice, and I work with them on other stuff so we get on anyway in a professional way. I discussed where I am socially with one of them (a manager) and I did say that I would apologise in advance as I am likely to make a few bloopers, and she said that that was understandable and would help if she saw me making any which was really nice. She said it wouldn't be a problem with any of the other girls anyway as they understood (Hmm, smells like my secret may have leaked out a bit....)

Also, a manager I came out to last week (bloke) took me aside and said if there was any thing he could help with then let him know, or if I needed to chat about anything  etc. Really sweet of him. So I can now go to a panel of people for advice, or as sounding boards for stuff. Also my friend Tina says she cant wait as she is fed up of avoiding me at work so as not to unintentionally out me.
So, tomorrow will be another milestone, followed by Tuesday as first full day in work as me (OMG what will I wear...). My Ex is coming over in the morning before I leave for work to make sure that I look OK and have everything for the day...
Cant wait really.

Quite looking forward to all this now.

And my Chinese manufactured UGG Australia boots arrived (at £12 whey are counterfeits Im sure), Im wearing them in as I type.

So, all is looking positive now.

name and gender change on about 200 accounts to come, and I will have to release funds from my pensions before I change names I think, not certain how that will happen. Oh well, bureaucracy rules it seems...

Till next time

Take care, Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*     ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :-* :-* :-* :-* ;) ;) :D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Katie, I'm so happy for you. Coming out can be the most challenging whether it be to friends/family or at work. Congratulations on taking this big step in your journey.

Hugs,

Lisa

Massive day today - ill update tomorrow
GN
XOX

Katie

:-*      ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ??? ??? ??? :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :'( ;D ;D

OK, lets see, yesterday, ah yes..

I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep, so got in work an hour early as well. Not many in at that time - 6:30ish but the place soon filled up.
At 9am I went up to the board room to find the site managers there with HR, so in I go (Butterflies in my stomach were more like the size of pterodactyls...).
HR had already done the company bit to the managers, so it was timed perfectly. Everyone welcomed me by my name and properly gendered me all through the meeting. I read out the personal letter I had created for the site brief to them (I wanted this as the HR stuff was quite formal feeling and this is such a personal issue it needed something personal to show its true nature) and they started asking questions, interjected with comment about how they may not understand how I felt  but also how the hell I had coped with this all these years. I explained the internalising I had done, my upbringing and that on a few occasions the whole thing had got unbearable, but without too much details. They were most respectful and genuinely concerned. There followed lots of other questions and comments from them, like how they had not seen anything, to which I responded that was not surprising as I avoided anything that may have outed me in the past, skirted or changed conversations  and anyway I had been doing it for so very long I should be good at hiding by now.
Lots of polite questions around my progress, hopes for the future and these were all received well I think.
We discussed next steps for the Company and then I left. Simple as that, 30 mins tops. So I went and got my stuff and went home to work there until I next go in on the 18th.

After a few minutes it really sunk in and I started to smile, inside and out.

Well I had done it and a lifetime of waiting and fearing and such junk started to fall away. Brilliant.

Logging into the work IT systems from home, I already had a couple of emails offering support and help if I needed it, congratulations from HR and personal messages from many of the site managers.

The site managers in the meantime had had a meeting with their reports and had started to roll out the briefing about me, and it had been taken really well by everyone it seems, many linking it with bouts of depression and such like that I have had over the last few years. People had also declared that they would ensure that my starting at work would be fully supported and that they would ensure I was helped my until I got acclimatised into my role at work.
During the rest of the day I received several phone calls updating me on feedback around work, all positive, and loads of emails wishing me luck on my journey as the like.

It will take a couple of days to brief the whole site, sister sites in Sweden and Italy that I work a lot with and also 2 sites in India that do a lot of Engineering for me.

So its a bit of a semi-global coming out I think (not certain if the Canadian sites will get it, but the German and French ones will have it focussed on those with whom I work directly). It seems to be working well, and HR want to use the briefing and process as a standard for the future.

So, Im taken aback by the level of offered support and good wishes I have received, I know there will be dissenters and suchlike but who cares about them.

So that's me done now it seems.

This afternoon, Im of for ear piercing, laser and then maybe a meal out with a couple of girls, but last one is in doubt as I have developed a real bad cold over night. Its like the ones I get for a couple of days at the start of holidays. Maybe the loss of stress causes it.

As ever, Take care

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*    ;D ;D ;D >:( :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :laugh: :laugh: ;D ;D ;D ;D

Just going to send you a message when this appears, well done dear glad it all went smoothly . Now get over that cold and come visit!!! Recon you need one of these :icon_bunch:

Quote from: davina61 on December 14, 2018, 04:18:18 AM
Just going to send you a message when this appears, well done dear glad it all went smoothly . Now get over that cold and come visit!!! Recon you need one of these :icon_bunch:

Thanks. As garden is just grass and needs sorting next year, I have 3 vases full of flowers at the moment. Living room smells gorgeous.
I will organise dates soon.
Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*   ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D ;D

Congratulations, Katie!  Coming out is always stressful.  I am so glad it went so smoothly and your company and coworkers are being supportive!

KATIE!!  You did it!  So proud of you - and what you have done makes it easier for others in the future. 

Congratulations Katie. I am truly delighted that things went so brilliantly on Thursday and that you have so much support at work.

Enjoy the weekend, next week, Christmas and most relevantly the rest of your life!

Special Hugs again

Pamela xxxx

Thank you all, Kathy, Kendra and Pamela for you kind words. Yes it has been a busy week.
In addition I did go out last night, first time to a restaurant in a dress (always a skirt and top before), for an Xmas meal with my friends Vanessa and Tina, I was a bit of a gooseberry but they are nice and kind friends. Anyway I invited them back for a drink afterwards so that's OK.

Pic of me ready to go out;
(https://i.imgur.com/LVibNg9.jpg?1)

And then after the Dim Sum starter;
(https://i.imgur.com/3ONQGfv.jpg)

I was in my favourite blue dress and a black lace bolero but the ladies looked very lovely  with Tina in a blue velvet oriental dress and Vanessa in a Black and silver sequin outfit, both looked very glam.

It was a lovely meal and the last outing of the year for all of us together.

Smashing.

Anyway after that meal I know its proper diet time again soon, so enjoyed it whilst I can (And Xmas of course...)

Next big thing, back to work on Tuesday, but I know that will be fine.

Ear piercings were Ok yesterday and have a nice pair of diamanté gold studs making a home in my earlobes now, placed so I still have the option for another piercing in the future. The piercings themselves are OK, no swelling or anything. So that's all good.
Laser yesterday was  at a higher setting and I've got a few spots coming now but we discussed progress, and Im onto Electrolysis in a few weeks time. Wont that be fun. Doing it fortnightly first to see how my face gets on with it though. Now where was that numbing gel....?

Anyway,  Im sure I will keep you all entertained with my bits of life going on here. Im off food shopping in an hour or two, jeans and boots this time I think.... and a nice top of course, but as the temperatures are freezing now, it will be under a suitably furry hooded coat.

Ill love you and leave you, take care

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*   ;D ;D ;D ;D ??? :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :laugh: :laugh: :-* :-* ;D ;D

Well hold off the diet till after you have been to me!!!!! Looks like you had a good time with the girls. XXXXXX

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
WOW-WHEE... your latest several updates have been a treat for me and all of your readers and followers to read...
.... and you looked so very pretty in your blue dress and with your girlfriends at dinner.

I am so very happy that your coming-out event at your company went so very well....  with that big weight off of your shoulders and off of your mind... what a big relief for you I am certain.  Now you can more freely express yourself... and live with much less stress.

Thank you for keeping us all updated, and I will be eagerly looking for more posts from you
Hugs and more hugs,
Danielle.

Quote from: Katie Jade on December 15, 2018, 12:08:40 PM
Laser yesterday was  at a higher setting and I've got a few spots coming now but we discussed progress, and Im onto Electrolysis in a few weeks time. Wont that be fun. Doing it fortnightly first to see how my face gets on with it though. Now where was that numbing gel....?

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*   ;D ;D ;D ;D ??? :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :laugh: :laugh: :-* :-* ;D ;D

Please don't worry about Electrolysis - you will be OK, it is not as painful as some would have you believe. I started with 30 minutes sessions but then progressed to 60 minutes. Not a walk in the park but it is tolerable and the ladies in the salon are always so pleasant and supportive!

Hugs

Pamela  xx

Hi Pamela,
Thanks for the support. Im straight in with 2 hour sessions fortnightly. I think I may need the numbing gel...
And yes they look after us very well.
GTG , working from home and in work tomorrow..
Luv n Hugs

Katie

:-*   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D :angel:

Hi everyone
Nice bit today; Working from home today before going in work for my first day at work being me, fully. So anyway over lunch I went out and called in at the local Chemist to get some stuff for de-congesting my chest after that last cold, which is almost gone btw. Well, to make sure I get the right potion, they asked what meds Im on. Then they went to check them on their medical records as I get my repeat prescriptions from there. so they asked my surname, which I gave, then first line of my address and finally my first name to which I said that I would be on their records as (insert dead name here).
At which both pharmacists looked up and did a double take for a couple of seconds. The lady Pharmacist smiled and said, yes OK, good , I have you now. Clearly they hadn't realised I was trans and saw just another woman with a coughy distorted cold type voice. I was most chuffed.
As on other posts, we cant see ourselves as others see us, and our memories of our former selves are slow to change visually so I still see my former self in the mirror, others keep telling me they don't and they see someone new.  Tomorrow will be a biggie then going in work 'a la me' mode. Looking forward to it. I think the fear has been broken now.
A good day again. Maybe I should play the Lottery....

Tonight I should be going to the Monday night chat at the pub again. Maybe meet some new friends.

Take care

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D >:( :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: >:-) ;D ;D :-* :-*

Quote from: Katie Jade on December 17, 2018, 09:33:40 AM
> we cant see ourselves as others see us, and our memories of our former selves are slow to change visually so I still see my former self in the mirror, others keep telling me they don't and they see someone new. 

Yes - this, exactly.  I have also experienced this and still occasionally do.  The brain has momentum.   ;)

Ditto, have a good day tomorrow XXXXXX

Quote from: Kendra on December 17, 2018, 12:31:40 PM
Yes - this, exactly.  I have also experienced this and still occasionally do.  The brain has momentum.   ;)

Dear Kendra
Yes that is so true. Even tonight I'm looking forward to tomorrow going in work as it has been run through in my head so many times it feels like I have been and done this  many times already. Various scenarios have been played out as well so I shouldn't be surprised. Taking some hankies along in case though.

Tonight however I decided not to go out to the pub as I need to get an early nights sleep as my morning routing isn't settled by any means. Oh well, there will be another time.

Possibly post another update tomorrow after work.

Take care

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*    :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D :o :P :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* ;D ;D

OK
First full working day as me.
What a doddle. Not all of it really. Took me 90 minutes to get ready, much too long, but as I woke up early then I was only a few minutes late. Navy with white dots blouse, my usual skater skirt, black, my favourite black cardi, red Jacket and my fur hooded rain coat on top. I found juggling a large laptop bag (takes 3 laptops) and my overfilled shopping bag handbag thing, was difficult especially as it was raining and quite blustery. Anyway got to work and my friend Tina met me at the car park turnstile to walk me to my desk. That was kind of her, just so I wasn't going in on my own for my first day. She has taken a coupe of photos with colleagues which I will post later (minus faces as its unlikely for them to give permission).
All this was nice and early, even before the coffee shop was open so I had to do some work before my morning coffee.. Anyway eventually went to the coffee shop and the baristas were lovely, making my usual skinny latte, got some words of encouragement as well. So nice.
By now most of my engineers were in, all correctly naming me, all good again, and all quite polite and seemingly happy with the situation. I couldn't have asked for more. I had several meetings with various people and groups throughout the day and they all took time and welcomed me to the company. I thought that was such a nice touch as well. I had 1 on 1 chats with several people as well, all concerned that it was all going well today, I could feel the genuine warmth of their comments.
I had a debrief  mid afternoon with my HR lady, and she was so happy everything was going well. She had been inundated with comments on how well the whole thing went, on our summarising of the situation and handouts for people. It was confirmed that some of the senor managers had already take up actions to help with my integration at work, as Katie. All good stuff and all going in the right direction. I has several seasonal cards  and even a present of a colleagues wife that I wasn't expecting. Wow... I am quite taken aback by the whole situation, and I have been smiling inside and out all day.
So, I have to bake a cake for tomorrows fuddle (use the UK urban dictionary in a Derbyshire context to decipher that.._) so I had better get a move on.

I am looking forward to tomorrow, and the funny thing is, it did feel today, like I was not doing this for the first time, and I was quite calm all day long.

Very Happy at  the moment

Take care

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*    ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

(Ill post pics later when Tina sends them to me and if they are OK)

@Katie Jade
Dear Katie:
WOW... a wonderfully affirming update regarding your full day at work... thank you for sharing with all of us.

Oh yeah, as you described your getting ready for work experience, for sure as a woman I found that it can take many times longer that it was as a man to get fixed up, dressed and ready to go to work.  Enjoy the experience of hair, makeup, nails, clothing choices, trying on clothes and changing your mind, etc...  In my case, instead of 10 or 15 minutes it is now at least 45 minutes to over an hour....  :)

I also found that as a woman, that people that I interfaced with were more concerned about me, greeted me, complimented me, etc.....   much more so that as a man that I would receive.   Again, enjoy the experience.

I see that you even got a compliment from the Coffee Shop Barista...   if you recall from reading my thread that my local Coffee Shop Barista is my Suitor#5   ....  hmmm  ;)

Good luck with your "fuddle" taking place at your work tomorrow and the cake you are planning to bring. 

What kind of CAKE will you be baking?  Is CHOCOLATE one of the ingredients???

Again, Katie, thank you for keeping your thread up to date ... and it is wonderful to read such good news!!!  ... and I will be looking forward to seeing the photos that you will hopefully be posting.
Hugs,
Danielle

Aha!, another psychic in our midst. It is indeed a dark chocolate cake but with ginger and vanilla added for a breath-taking flavour (nice I hope).
Yes another experiment, Ill post a few pics if I remember.

My baristas aren't really my type I'm afraid but they are lovely nevertheless. Maybe I should try more coffee shops... :)

Need to go, have cake to work on

Take care

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*     ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :-* :-\ ;D ;D ;D ;D

Katie, congratulations on your first day at work as yourself.  I am so glad it went well!

I looked up "fuddle".  Hmm, I like it!!

Quote from: KathyLauren on December 18, 2018, 03:03:19 PM
Katie, congratulations on your first day at work as yourself.  I am so glad it went well!

I looked up "fuddle".  Hmm, I like it!!

@KathyLauren
Dear Kathy:
As you undoubtedly found out, there are two completely different definitions of "fuddle"...
The definition is what "I think" that @Katie Jade was referring to is... 
      "a communal buffet for a special occasion; typically hosted within the workplace."

The "other" less savory definition is:
      "a state of confusion or intoxication."
      "through the fuddle of wine he heard some of the conversation"

Hugs, and have a happy "fuddle" everyone.
Danielle

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on December 18, 2018, 03:18:58 PM
@KathyLauren
Dear Kathy:
As you undoubtedly found out, there are two completely different definitions of "fuddle"...
The definition is what "I think" that @Katie Jade was referring to is... 
      "a communal buffet for a special occasion; typically hosted within the workplace."

The "other" less savory definition is:
      "a state of confusion or intoxication."
      "through the fuddle of wine he heard some of the conversation"

Hugs, and have a happy "fuddle" everyone.
Danielle

@Alaskan Danielle, the definition I found is:
A local word, used mostly in Derbyshire and Nottinghamshire, that means to sit comfortably and eat a variety of chocolates and sweets.

So civilized to have a special word for eating chocolate!!  :D

All those definitions apply at the same time to our fuddles, although ones at work don't involve alcohol, hence no brandy soaking of the chocolate cake I just made... You have to believe the taste.... OMG...
Anyway Gn all, sweet sweet dreams and  talk soon.

Take care
Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*     ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ??? ??? ??? :police: :police: :police: >:-) >:-) ??? :-* :-* :angel: >:-) ;D ;D ;D

Katie

I am delighted that yesterday everything at work went to perfection!

I think the day that any one of us goes fulltime is certainly one of the most relevant (and perhaps the most relevant in some cases) date on the transition journey. It is wonderful the planning was so successful and that you received so much support and encouragement. Others have told me that the feeling of euphoria lasts a long time and therefore I know you will feel great now and subsequently.

Well done! Really uplifting update.

Special Hugs again

Pamela xxxx

Hi everybody

Dear Pamela, thanks for your post and much appreciated hugz from you. Hugz back to you  :).

Well, second day at work and I am so overwhelmed by positive stuff, comments like; Congratulations, Well done, Call me if you need anything, You are really strong, Let me know if I can help/need someone to talk to, to the sublime; Your so better looking as a girl (!! was I that bad looking as a man..). your makeup is really good, are 'they' yours (What!!!! how rude, but affirming..), I love your eyebrows (!!), I love your hair - I want to get mine like that, etc etc.
A bit overpowering at times. Im sure someone senior may have said something, but actually, no, these are people I have known for a long while and they are genuine, I know.

So, loving it all and very happy at the moment. Walking to the carpark at work tonight I was quite tearful, happy and feeling so warm and full inside.

I need to do the lottery again, although I feel I have won it anyway.

That's enough for me tonight.  Getting ready for the morning and off to sleep to get up early (My morning routine has dropped for 90 mins to 70 already even with washing hair-and apparently makeup is great anyway..)

Take care

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*    ;D ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D ;D

Oh forgot, Here is a picture from last night the cake I made for the fuddle today (Chocolate - with Ginger and Vanilla - and a cream filling) only a before picture as it was gone in a couple of minutes......;
(https://i.imgur.com/CB8kT7D.jpg)

Quote from: Katie Jade on December 19, 2018, 04:14:25 PM
:-*    ;D ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D ;D

Oh forgot, Here is a picture from last night the cake I made for the fuddle today (Chocolate - with Ginger and Vanilla - and a cream filling) only a before picture as it was gone in a couple of minutes......;
(https://i.imgur.com/CB8kT7D.jpg)

@Katie Jade:
Dear Katie:
My oh my, your chocolate cake looks absolutely wonderful....  all my favorite things...
   Chocolate, Creme filling, lots of frosting....  mmm, mmm, good.
Probably just short of 10,000 calories per piece, but who is counting?!!!

Thank you for posting the picture and sharing with us all.
Hugs,
Danielle

Thanks Danielle.
Well I only got about 50 calories of it I think...

Sad day tomorrow as 2 contractors are leaving, and I lose my 2 lady Engineers in Sweden, the ones that gave me Elliot the bear to keep me company (note Bear not bare....). Love them both and they are good engineers who will be sorely missed. Still they are still in the Company so I will keep in regular contact with them.

As I reflect on the past working year, it has its many ups and downs as per normal working life, but I know I have felt gradually better at work, especially with anticipating coming to work as my true self. Last week and this week were a massive rush for me. And I have tried to thank all those that have helped over the year and in the last few weeks. I have so many, many new and dear friends, some from this forum, whom I have been privileged to meet on occasion (when is the next UK meet up?), lots from work, but most of all I am much more of a friend to myself. Without being able to do that, and put the past behind us then I/we can never start to become our true destiny.
I have learnt this.
But I am not without flaws, certainly, but that is what makes me human. As such I am more easily able to forgive anything I may see as a flaw in others.

I will post again before I am done for the year, but you guys and girls here on Susan's, have all made this year so much better for me. I therefore decree that everyone gets a virtual Hugz from me, just for being there. You will get more over the holidays I m sure :)

Take care

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-* :-*      :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D 8) 8) 8) ;) ;) :angel: :angel: :-* :'( ^-^ :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D

Quote from: Katie Jade on December 20, 2018, 04:01:00 PM
Most of all I am much more of a friend to myself. Without being able to do that, and put the past behind us then I/we can never start to become our true destiny.
I have learnt this.
But I am not without flaws, certainly, but that is what makes me human. As such I am more easily able to forgive anything I may see as a flaw in others.

Take care

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-* :-*      :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D 8) 8) 8) ;) ;) :angel: :angel: :-* :'( ^-^ :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D

Katie

I just wish to say that with reference to your comment I have highlighted, I feel precisely the same.

We must first know and love ourselves thus enabling us to love others and not to judge others negatively.

You have become a friend to me. Thank you for that. I have PM'd you separately.

Christmas Hugs to you

Pamela  xxxx

Nothing much to do tonight, maybe go shopping in a bit for last items foe Xmas, as Im getting a bit stir crazy because I havent been outside today, not good.
Anyway I think I'm looking OK today;

(https://i.imgur.com/w7tCFcM.jpg)

its just feeling more and more natural as time goes on.

So I need to think about hair transplants and maybe other stuff as well, but thats new year stuff anyway.

I need a passport photo so Ill see if I can find a booth type one open at a supermarket - will I do like in the picture?
anyway

Take care

Luv n Hugz
Katie

:-*   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D ;D

@Katie Jade:
Dear Katie:
Yes indeed you look more than OK, you look great in your photo...  be careful out there shopping, this close to Christmas it will be CRAZY out there....
Hugs and well wishes... and trusting that you will have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New year.
Thank you for sharing and posting your photo update.
Danielle

Quote from: Katie Jade on December 22, 2018, 12:23:39 PM
Nothing much to do tonight, maybe go shopping in a bit for last items foe Xmas, as Im getting a bit stir crazy because I havent been outside today, not good.
Anyway I think I'm looking OK today;

(https://i.imgur.com/w7tCFcM.jpg)

its just feeling more and more natural as time goes on.

So I need to think about hair transplants and maybe other stuff as well, but thats new year stuff anyway.

I need a passport photo so Ill see if I can find a booth type one open at a supermarket - will I do like in the picture?
anyway

Take care

Luv n Hugz
Katie

:-*   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D ;D

You know no matter how glam you look in the booth photo they will still make you look like some one of a wanted poster!!!!!   Looking very natural there dear, no need for make up to go to the shop. XXXXXXX

@Katie Jade
My Dear Katie:
I have been very much enjoying your recent good news updates and photos that you have been posting.  This is definitely the season for all of us to find happiness in our lives.
I hope and trust that you are finding the joy and happiness that you deserve so I am giving you my expression of the holiday season that we are now in:
wishing you a very MERRY CHRISTMAS
and a prosperous and Happy NEW YEAR  in 2019

Hugs and as always, Well Wishes
Danielle

Dear Danielle,

It is most warming that you send me a personal greeting, it is very much appreciated. Indeed, I pass my own best wishes back to you and your loved ones.

I find your comments this year quite helpful and supportive so let me say a personal thank you for that.  :angel: :-* ;D
Indeed you have some very well read threads and so I applaud you on engaging with so many so well, it is good to see. You have certainly added to my happiness as well as others this year. Bless you :).

I am sure we will continue to be good friends on the forum, or maybe in person if I ever get to Alaska or you come to England. Both countries / principalities have so much going for them and should co-operate more in the future (enough politics!!)

For you and everyone on the forum, We should look forward to a great new year, and wishing you and everyone absolute happiness, Health and increased prosperity (in that order....)

Take care

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*  :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

PS Katie had her first Kiss yesterday.... No Im not telling...

Do I have to wait till Sat to find out??

Yes

Didn't I know it

Well I hope I find everyone well and happy and not too hung over, if at all.

Unfortunately I had some bad news yesterday, in that my Father (the unaccenting one) fell over my younger brothers dog yesterday during celebrations at my elder brothers house, and has broken his femur on his good leg (the other having been reconstructed after a head on collision several years ago, and still troubles him). Its a clean break but they cant operate on him until tomorrow as there are no Anaesthetists available in the locale on the NHS today.
So I am having to spend a second day in boy mode (my youngest son is still coming to terms.. and I was round my Ex with sons and ex-brother in law, and Ex-mother in law for Xmas, they are fully accepting so we had a good time).
So I have to travel for 90 minutes to get to the hospital for 15-20 minutes, and then back. I just need to make sure he is OK really.
I have been told to take my studs out of my ears by my eldest brother as a mark of respect to my father(!!), well that isn't going to happen anyway, Dad will get me as I am.
Hopefully I will see my mom as well and maybe my brothers (No I wasn't invite to their Xmas lunch by the way).

I think its still hard for them regarding my transition, but its got its own life now, just as I have now, finally.

New vehicle licence applied for, off to banks tomorrow to start name changing, request for letter from GP to go for passport change, etc etc.

So not much happening here...

Looking forwards to hearing from you all

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*   ;D ;D ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\   :angel:

Take 2 (internet vanished ) Sorry to here about your dad. Its about time they realized that your on a runaway train to Katieville , I am sure they will come round eventually. XXXXXX

Davina
Yes I agree, but today he didn't comment about my plethora of rings and even my pierced ears or shoulder length natural hair. He was somewhat doped up though, as they (NHS) are still trying to organise an anaesthetist. He does seem to favour broken legs though, twice on his right leg (Motorcycle many years ago and the aforementioned car accident) and now by dog on his left leg. You have to side with him that he has had some bad luck, and he was so pleased to see me. Cant fault that.
As for me - into bank tomorrow to try and change account names etc. Will take Deed polls, current driving licence and utility bill. If they need the amended driving licence then it will all have to wait until Im next on holiday probably over Easter.... Looks like the possibility of a big merry-go-round here...

Take care
Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*   ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :laugh: :laugh: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* ;D ;D

Mine were fine with deed poll, good luck.XXX

Helo Katie,
I'm just catching up with your thread, I have bookmarked it now!   Sorry to hear of your dad's accident. 

You certainly look great and your reception at work was a wonderful piece to read!  You're an inspiration.

Cheers, Judi :icon_cute:

Katie

Sorry to hear about your dad. I hope an anaesthetist has now been found. I hope dad soon recovers and that ALL your family soon accept you.

Good luck with the relevant name changes. Enjoy the remainder of the holiday period.

Happy New Year to you.

Hugs

Pamela  xx

2nd attempt here, Im sure someone is hacking the UK network and especially my connections - lol - fool them if they are..

Judi - thanks for indulging in my drudgy stuff, but you are welcome, please interject with witticisms and comments, anything to help us all on our way. I take criticism very well as I so clearly know I'm not perfect, far from, but slowly edging my way forward as we all are.
And looking forward to next Wednesday which is first day back with my 2 line manager in residence since my red letter day and coming out.... lets see. I can take it even if they cant, that seems to be a trans trait that we know about but they don't. Just steel yourself and all rubbish just bounces off and is worthless, or something like that..

Davina and Pamela, thanks for your concern. Dad was under the knife earlier and I got a sort of thumbs up a couple of hours ago but they haven't said anything else to me despite me calling them a few times. Not happy about that but there again Im starting to expect that from my Brothers and Mum... true colours? or just the same as ever, couldn't care less. Its OK im bigger that that anyway.

Sent of for New driving licence, name at Doctors changed so new NHS number soon,  Bank appointment to change on Monday and  need photo ID for change of mortgages (I have 3, that's why Im skint..). Still many, many name changes to do. Passport needs a new driving licence and letter from Doctors, so all in progress. Need to do Car Insurance asap though... Local authority, insurances, utilities, electoral register etc etc......

Oh dear too much to think about (current pension changed, need to do my 7 legacy ones and my state pension - thank heaven I will only ever do it once), Id better have a slow gin, chill then off to bed to visit Davina tomorrow (its the same time to get to my Dad so that's OK..).

Gn All

Take care

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*   :-* :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :o :o :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :o ;D

Quote from: Katie Jade on December 28, 2018, 04:50:48 PM

Sent of for New driving licence, name at Doctors changed so new NHS number soon,  Bank appointment to change on Monday and  need photo ID for change of mortgages (I have 3, that's why Im skint..). Still many, many name changes to do. Passport needs a new driving licence and letter from Doctors, so all in progress. Need to do Car Insurance asap though... Local authority, insurances, utilities, electoral register etc etc......


Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*   :-* :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :o :o :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :o ;D

Katie

That is interesting. I really thought NHS number would remain the same on change of name and of gender.

Secondly as I will be doing all this in Summer, I was minded to change everything APART FROM those about to expire (eg why change utility company if you expect to change to another utility company a few months later) but I have recently just like you decided to change the lot. I now think it wise that those about to expire ARE INFORMED as new utility company which I may later join would wish to contact the expiring one!

Hugs

Pamela  xx

Dear Pamela
Well thats what the Doctors manager said to me. Not certain if she is an expert though....

As for the rest I will progress them as I can. One building society needs photo ID, but my bank only needs the deed poll.

Take care
Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :-\ :-\ :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :o ;D ;D ;) ;D ;D

See you got back OK , hungry yet?? Enjoyed myself, its nice to have company

Hi, yes - journey was uneventful but slow. And no, I am still not hungry, too full of good nosh indeed. I don't think I will eat until tomorrow lunchtime. Just enough room for a G&T in a min I think...
Ill have another go at uploading some photos from my mobile tomorrow, but Microsoft (That saviour of the IT support people - it gives then so much work I think) has done another update and as usual its screwed up loads of settings, especially access to my far-east manufactured mobile...
Anyway off to see my Dad tomorrow as he will be in hospital for a few more days. He has more metal in his legs now than Ironman I think. Just not as fast anymore. He played his last competitive game of rugby when he was 60, that's some going I think.
Any-hoo, thanks for today, was quite a chilled time, I can confirm your wardrobe is quite massive and working well, more so than the pictures can portray, and you are definitely in good fettle (apart from the wrist which I could see was troubling you, make sure your lawyer gets everything out of your works for that assault. How could they employ someone with such a deplorable mental state, it beats me....).
Not much left to say but my shopping trip with my Ex seems to be doomed for the time being, but its on a rain-check for now.

So Gn
Take care
Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D >:( 8) 8) 8) :-* :-* :-* :-* ;) ;) ;) :angel: :angel: :angel: :laugh: :laugh: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D

Hi

I have not been able to upload photos yet from my visit to Davinas, the software isn't working still..

However, this is the last day of a very eventful year for me;

Medical treatment started in January
Sold house as I split from my wife of 26 years - we are still married though and great friend - and bought another just for me,
Registered at GIC (although when I get an appointment I don't know, will have been full time for years by then I think)
First Sparkle event
Several trips to Nottingham, day and night, sober and not...
Trip to Birmingham to see the ladies from 'Susans'.
Out shopping, groceries, clothes, window shopping, etc
Out at work
Out full time (Apart from visits to parents but that will change next year)
Name changing in progress; Bank done, Doctors done, driving licence applied for, one pension done, 5 others to do...
And a lot more of course...

I wonder what next year will bring, I cant wait. :)

So, today, I went shopping  with my Ex after dropping into my bank and getting my name changed on all my accounts. New cards and bank books on the way.

Part of me, just a minute teeny weeny part, still questions my actions, but that just means I keep reaffirming what I am doing, quite regularly.

So off to Boots for makeup and shampoo, M&B for some cereals, Primark, M&S, and a couple of other stores looking at all the items on sale, unfortunately I will need to loose a chunk of weight again to get into some of those lovely dresses.
Had a coffee in an open cafeteria in the centre of the shopping mall, absolutely no issues for me, got a few looks but most people didn't care, which is the same feeling as me then. Loved it all.

Im really happy at the moment and my life is opening up like a fresh blossom. I smile inside in my heart as well as outwardly, and I have been told that it is noticeable. Awesome.

Not heard today how my Dad is. When we saw him yesterday he was quite agitated as he couldn't do anything, not surprising, but his wound has stopped bleeding so that is positive at least. He has to be able to stand and move around and then be signed off by 2 doctors before he can leave the hospital. He is quite impatient though which wont help him. Also he is unlikely to be allowed to go home initially as my parents live in an old cottage, with a narrow stairs and it will be difficult for him to get around. He will end up going into a care facility which he will hate as well. I pity my mom really, as he is quite abrupt and sometimes downright rude to her at the moment. Still he will have to learn that that wont help anyone especially him for the foreseeable future.
So we have organised a roster, and I am taking my Mom to see him Thursday night, directly after work, so I wont have changed into 'drab' clothing, Mom wasn't enthralled by this news, but that's tough. And as my father is non-accepting, I wont be visiting him either so Ill stay in the carpark probably.

Anyway, That's it for today I think, not much else to say, not going out tonight, I will leave this year behind. I wonder where I will be this time next year. Happy and healthy I hope.

Best wishes to everyone on Susans, have a great new year, and I look forward to seeing some of you over the coming year.

Take care
Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*   ;D ;D ;D :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :angel: :angel: ;) ;) ;) :) ;D ;D ;D ;D :-*

Quote from: Katie Jade on December 31, 2018, 08:33:14 AM
>
Had a coffee in an open cafeteria in the centre of the shopping mall, absolutely no issues for me, got a few looks but most people didn't care, which is the same feeling as me then. Loved it all.

Im really happy at the moment and my life is opening up like a fresh blossom. I smile inside in my heart as well as outwardly, and I have been told that it is noticeable. Awesome.

Katie you made my day reading this.  And now maybe you understand why several months ago I told you - you are an inspiration to many others, and to me.  You are increasingly at ease doing things that were unimaginable or nearly impossible a few months ago.  A few months from now you'll find it just as unimaginable to go back to the previous way, as you gain and earn the rewards of living life the way you define it. 

Best wishes for your dad's recovery and leaving the hospital.  It's unfortunate he doesn't understand your transition, maybe he will over time but some people get set into their ways and fail to acknowledge the world can change.  I think you're handling this as well as possible. 

Here's to 2019 - and you'll be wearing that dress you have your eye on. 

Quote from: Katie Jade on December 31, 2018, 08:33:14 AM
...
Had a coffee in an open cafeteria in the centre of the shopping mall, absolutely no issues for me, got a few looks but most people didn't care, which is the same feeling as me then. Loved it all.
...

Very good!  One of the most important lessons to learn early on is that others are not actually actively hunting us, that it is unlikely that folks at the mall are there to play "Spot the Transgender People", but they are simply trying to get through their day, cross the street without getting run over, not be late to their next meeting, and trying to figure out how to reply to that e-mail.

I often take folks just starting out to get coffee or even lunch, and we will sit down in an area of tables in a nearby mall to chat and enjoy coffee.  I may introduce them to people-watching, looking at wardrobes, styles, even movement, as a way for them to become more comfortable in public and find their own style.  (I've done this with a few members of this site!)

Katie Jade, I am glad you are becoming so much more comfortable with being yourself.  Wonderful to read all of this!

Welcome to my world, found its ok to go out without makeup in jeans and top .Happy new year dear , may you have all you want.

@Katie Jade:
Dear Katie:
I have so much enjoyed your updates as you progress through your journey. 
Obviously some bumps in the road that all of us experience but your good news outshines any of that.
 
I am so very happy that I found you and your thread on the Forums this year and I will be eagerly following your upcoming reports and updates in the New Year in 2019.

Wishing you a very HAPPY NEW YEAR in 2019...

Hugs and as always, well wishes.
Hugs and more hugs....
Danielle

Hi everybody, welcome to 2019!!

Thanks to Kendra, Michelle, Davina and Danielle for your kind words. And indeed everyone else for reading my little journal of my faltering and hesitant steps on my journey.
You are all inspiring in your own ways and I am privileged to know you, and I thank you for the support given last year.
I recognize and try to support others in what is a difficult journey, as indeed you all do. We need to keep on inspiring each other, for you are all inspirational to me in you own special ways.

I have a glass of wine waiting for me to toast the new year so I bid you all Adieu,

Take care

Luv and immeasurable hugz

Katie

:-*   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :D :D :D :D ;) ;) ;) :) :) :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ^-^ ^-^ :police: :laugh: :laugh: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :-* :P 8) 8) :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :eusa_dance: :eusa_dance: :icon_drunk: :icon_drunk: :icon_headfones: :icon_headfones: :icon_wave: :icon_wave: :icon_yes: :icon_yes: :icon_dance: :icon_dance: :icon_dance: :eusa_dance: :eusa_dance:

Hi all

Quick post as I'm busy, but just to let you know that all 'his' stuff has been packaged up for either passing to a charity, binning or for my Sons to check if they need anything. I'm sure my eldest will put the leather jackets on eBay etc to make a few nicker.
Its funny but it sort of feels like a bereavement or something similar without the sadness. Just a funny feeling. Not quite elation either. Except for when I see the amount of free space I have in the wardrobes now, and the large number of unused hangers. If it wasn't January and being virtually broke after Xmas I would go shopping....
Anyway that's it, sort of a non-day today.
Ill think about eating soon as my poached egg on toast for breakfast is almost all used up it seems, and hunger beckons shortly.

Still trying to download pictures, so when I do you will get a splurge of them covering the last few posts probably.

Anyway - for those going back to work tomorrow, have fun.

Take care
Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :o ::) ::) :icon_dance: :-* :'( :angel: :angel: ??? ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Gosh, its almost a year on hormones, and I said I would post some before pics... I pity you all when I do... in which case I had better start looking for some reasonably postable ones...

TC

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*    >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) :police: :police: >:-) >:-) >:-) >:-) ??? ??? ( ;D :angel: :angel: :angel:)  :o :o

Quick note on today at work etc.
Items of interest;
     A couple of the senior engineering architects and Chief Engineers who were not in work at the end of last year came over and congratulated me, had a quick chat and said they respected me a lot for doing it and hoped it was all going well, really nice of them.
     Got my ID card with my picture on it as well and the Security Lady said I looked a lot better now, so that's someone else whos said that, another of my lady engineers said it suited me more as well, all good things to hear.
     Dads still not right in hospital and hes unlikely to get out for several days yet. I think his agitated state isnt helping him certainly as well as the pain killers hes on. I really feel for him as he used to be such a busy man, and reduced to his current situation. Age is horrible to us, I can see that.
     Enough, Im not talking about that again tonight, so Im off to the store for general groceries and such stuff. Eldest is coming round to take what he can of my old stuff after that so Id better get a move on.

Take care

Luv n Hugz

Kate

:-*    ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D >:( >:( :icon_bumdance-nerd: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D

Got some goodies to make a apricot and pecan cake, well I have some dried apricots that need using. Also an Eves pudding as BFF gave me pears before she went on hols (ok I know it should be apples) most of which I will try to give away ,diets on-----

note to self; when I fall in love the this will have to play on repeat a lot.... I find it so superbly sensual...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QD5YY7jPAnQ

Will have to be on repeat all night and day...

Sorry  its not perfect and some may know, but its  a good revision...

When I hear Canon or Canon Rock it just changes my mood and makes me happier.

Luv n Hugz

Johann Pachelbel's Canon in D!  I love this music. 

If you like the Pachelbel Canon, you should listen to Winton Marsalis's version, played on the picolo trumpet.  The album is called Baroque Trumpet, and it is one of my fave's to have on the headphones during my electrolysis sessions.

I'll check it out, thanks!

Ok Quick update
Dad still in hospital, still visiting..
Long time family friend and sister in laws mother has passed on, everyone very sad
Im skint again
Looking forwards to the next UK meet up - need date confirming
AA injection (the one in the bum you can feel when you sit down afterwards) on Friday
My Patch (E) isn't available so diving into my stock - hope this isn't an effect of Brexit
Had first full on meeting with Directors (some new to company) today, a few looks but everyone listened when I talked and what I said provoked positive discussion and agreement (cool)
eerrrr. Dropped mobile and made a mess of it, so may have to try and get it repaired so I can retrieve photos.
Feeling extremely good in myself, lots more interaction and smiles and helpfulness from the girls at work (a lot in admin and they just fly through my stuff which I warmly thank them for - they are really accepting)
Keep getting told Im doing well and not letting the 'side' down at all. I still don't fully believe that.
One supplier (transphobic comment some time ago on a business meal) wants to take us all out for a meal again in Derby. He apologised via intermediary for comments he made in Manchester on a previous visit. I accepted them back through the intermediatory so as to save him face.. He owes me now - cool.

So Im OK and really starting to rev up now at work, but trying to play it a bit cool and not too political..

Anyway GN, up in 6 hours ... Morning routine still takes too long....

Luv n Hugz (Take care)

Katie

:-*                                  :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;) ;) :D :D :D :angel: :angel: :angel: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :eusa_boohoo: :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* ;D ;D ;D

Sorry to hear of the death of your friend. 

Yikes I hope the Brexit deal doesn't affect your supplies of E!   

Feeling good about yourself is wonderful!  I'm certain the affirmation from the girls at work helps greatly.  At the Derby meal you'll get to see this suppliers real side, won't you.  Be nice!

I hope the phone is an inexpensive fix. Ouch!

Nice to see site up again, kudos to Susan as ever.
Im slumbering in bed so Gn all...

Quick sign off

L&H's

KJ

:-*     ;D

Get some rest!   :)


Chrissy

Katie

I posted Thursday afternoon 10th but my post must have gone astray and hence I will repeat.

Sorry to hear of your bereavement but on the other hand I am glad to see you are "revving up" at work.

I get my medication from Lloyds who could not get it from warehouse on Friday 4th but I went to Rowlands who had it at their supplier. I assume shortage must have been due to the pre Christmas rush.

As you say, it is wonderful that Susans' is up and running again.

Hugs

Pamela  xx

Hi - sorry not posting, I have been busy. Broke as usual for the end of Jan, but have had lovely meal at Tina's and she and her GF have invited me and another girl over next weekend for a meal, sounds lovely. Dont know the other girl though..
Have new issues with Dad as he now wont see me unless in presenting as 'dead name' so have told mum I cant see her at home again and as I bring my kids to see them (ex starting to see them as non-family) then they are excluding them visiting as well. Ive told her to let me know if they change their minds, but as father is a long time homophobic (he doesn't understand trans..) then its unlikely. I also highlighted that I am a signatory on their mortgage, and also have powers of attorney over them with my brothers, which could be interesting..as they cant revoke that. In my dead name though, but I have my deed poll to link it all up. Could get messy...

Anyway, I posted this in the 'before and after v4 subject (Grim photos so be warned..);


Hi everybody,
I did promise a 1 yr HRT photo comparison, so selected a few photos in timeline, so...
(https://i.imgur.com/yGpPFP8.jpg)

6 years ago, unhealthy, very overweight, angry, depressed and just not nice to be with. Life lost almost..

(https://i.imgur.com/tDfBwzh.jpg)

18 months ago, lost a load of weight, decision made and on non-prescribed meds.. about to start counselling

(https://i.imgur.com/Ody9jEd.png)

Out at home, wife aware of where I am, and in full sympathy bless her.

(https://i.imgur.com/NHIBvAW.jpg)

First time out to support group, under counselling, talking with Gender specialists, looking forward to controlled medication, getting in control

(https://i.imgur.com/fObid4j.jpg)

6 months HRT, living alone but starting to be me

(https://i.imgur.com/xS4zRik.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/yhdk27V.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/Fe0Jjsx.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/0mgxVpQ.png)

Me last few months of 2018

(https://i.imgur.com/Eg2DtT2.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/tl9aCt7.jpg)

6 weeks full time at work and inhibitions all but gone.
I have to go - shopping to do.

Take care

Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*     ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

(I dont think I'm too bad for 56... loving it all)

Oh, forgot to say, I am starting to get the door held open for me at work, more ladies talking with me and wanting to help, Wow..
I still give no quarter with regards to work stuff, infact Im more astute and contributing more I can feel. Less crap in my head I suppose.
Loving it

Take care
Luv n Hugx
Katie

:-*   :-* :-* :-* :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :-* :-*

Katie, wow!  What an amazing change and accomplishments.  Now maybe you will believe me when I say you are an inspiration.

Quote from: Kendra on January 27, 2019, 11:28:59 AM
Katie, wow!  What an amazing change and accomplishments.  Now maybe you will believe me when I say you are an inspiration.

Thank you dear friend. Coming from you that feels an accolade certainly, thanks. Anyway Im not finished yet, the journey goes on and still loving it all. :)

Ill probably remove the before pics soon, don't what that reminder around, Im not looking back at all.

I need to sort a visit to Marbella this year I think. That would be good. Reminds me  - I need to get my passport fixed.

Take care
Luv n Hugz

Katie

:-*   :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :angel: :-* :-*

@Katie Jade
I loved reading your recent good news updates and all viewing of those beautiful photos of yourself.
I am so very happy for you and am always wishing you the best.

Your coming out at your work went so very well.  With your secret revealed you can live so much more freely.    😉 😊 ENJOY

I WILL BE EAGERLY LOOKING FOR YOUR FUTURE POSTS.

HUGS,
Danielle

Quote from: pamelatransuk on January 15, 2019, 03:59:07 AM
Katie

I get my medication from Lloyds who could not get it from warehouse on Friday 4th but I went to Rowlands who had it at their supplier. I assume shortage must have been due to the pre Christmas rush.

Hugs

Pamela  xx

Katie

I am surprised that again Lloyds Pharmacy are unable to obtain E patches from warehouse meaning the shortage is more long term that just "post Christmas". Once again I have obtained from Rowlands.

I hope you have no problems with securing your E patches this week.

Hugs

Pamela  xx

Quote from: pamelatransuk on January 29, 2019, 04:46:39 AM
I hope you have no problems with securing your E patches this week.
Pamela  xx

Dear Pamela, no problem with getting patches at all now. thanks for asking.

Anyway just a quick note as depending what happens I may not be at my computer for a day or longer. Father has had a seizure probably from ever exerting himself after surgery because he broke his leg (femur) tripping over a dog just after Xmas lunch, did I mention that. Well he's in hospital so I'm picking up a few things and flying over to Macclesfield to see if I can see him for a minute. Weather may be bad going 'over the top' though. Nothing compared to Alaska (re Danielle's posts on weather..) though or the states. So wish me luck, as Im sure you've read his thoughts on my transition from other posts...
Take care
Luv n Hugz

Katie

(feeling a bit glum..)
:-*    :-* :-* :-* ??? :-\ :-\ ??? ??? ??? :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed:

Take care, pack a flask and food!!!!! Hope your dads recovering, HUGS XXXX

Quote from: Katie Jade on January 29, 2019, 11:55:24 AM
Dear Pamela, no problem with getting patches at all now. thanks for asking.

Anyway just a quick note as depending what happens I may not be at my computer for a day or longer. Father has had a seizure probably from ever exerting himself after surgery because he broke his leg (femur) tripping over a dog just after Xmas lunch, did I mention that. Well he's in hospital so I'm picking up a few things and flying over to Macclesfield to see if I can see him for a minute. Weather may be bad going 'over the top' though. Nothing compared to Alaska (re Danielle's posts on weather..) though or the states. So wish me luck, as Im sure you've read his thoughts on my transition from other posts...
Take care
Luv n Hugz

Katie

(feeling a bit glum..)
:-*    :-* :-* :-* ??? :-\ :-\ ??? ??? ??? :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed: :embarrassed:

@Katie Jade
My dear Katie:
Travel safe as you go to visit your Dad.  I hope and pray that he will fully recover.   My thoughts are with you and hoping that you can experience good conversation with him as he is recovering.

No matter what has been said in the past, this is a time to put all of that to the side as you sit by his bedside at the hospital.

This is why I tell my transitioning friends that are having difficulties, especially with loved ones and family,  to never speak or reply in anger, don't argue, and don't say words that will be regretted later... words spoken can never be taken back.   One's Dad will always be their Dad...  so it is very important to always visit and converse with love and the respect than any parent deserves even if he is still not accepting of their child's transition.   
Sometimes easier said than done for sure.

Many HUGS and well wishes.   Again, travel safe.
Danielle

Hi
Well 3 1/2 hour round trip, the return coming from Leek to Ashbourne was a bit dicey, lost traction a few times so took it slow. Saw dad for 5 mins, he was somewhat sedated so no exchanges. Not much said with family though as I was as I am, respect works both ways, but in jeans and a neutral top. Still I suppose the earrings and makeup didn't help. Whatever that wasn't my concern. So he's stable and should be OK. looking forward to a good nights sleep, hopefully.

Take care
Luv n Hugz

Katie
:-*     :D :D :D :D :D :angel: :-* :-\