Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transitioning => Passing => Topic started by: Tiu on September 19, 2018, 03:55:07 PM

Title: Long hair vs short hair (mtf)
Post by: Tiu on September 19, 2018, 03:55:07 PM
So, I am a teen mtf tomboy. I love short hair and I have always had short hair. I got a pixie cut that covers my forehead and allows me to be somewhat passable. But recently I was thinking about letting my hair grow a little bit, just to see how well that works and whether I like it. However, I am a little afraid that I might not pass as well as I do now, depending on the haircut. So, there are a few questions:

1. Does long hair actually feminzine you? And why is that? How does it do that?
2. Does it feminize you even if your forehead isn't covered? More so than a pixie cut which does cover your forehead?
3. What neck length hairstyles (or what features to such a cut) can you recommend for mtf passing?
4. Do you have any other tips for pulling of long hair while passing?

Maybe I am overestimating the importance of covering up a male forehead (especially in combination with clothing, voice, etc.). My fear is, if I were to have longer hair without some protective bangs, which I would prefer; that I would look like someone who wants to pass as a female but actually isn't. I'd prefer to be perceived androgynous rather than trans I'd say.

I don't wear make up, by the way, so that won't help.

Thank you so much if you have any tip for me! :*
Title: Re: Long hair vs short hair (mtf)
Post by: DawnOday on September 19, 2018, 04:05:46 PM
I thought about a short haircut but it requires a lot of maintenance. Long hair not so much. Haircut once or twice a year to remove split ends. A few minutes a day with a straightening iron and a little hairspray.
Title: Re: Long hair vs short hair (mtf)
Post by: Tiu on September 19, 2018, 04:10:52 PM
Yes that's true. It's a lot of work and always a tightrope walk.
Title: Re: Long hair vs short hair (mtf)
Post by: Sephirah on September 19, 2018, 04:26:09 PM
My hair is, at the moment... um... how can I put this... I can sit on it, lol. It's past my backside. But the only reason for that is because I like it that way. Does it feminise me? Yes. At least from the rear. People assume. Where I live, long hair on a guy is kind of a rarity. If I'm right that "bangs" = "fringe", in terms of US vs UK speech, then I don't have that. But it's never really been a problem.

I'm not so sure long hair requires less maintenance, though. In my case it can sometimes be a giant pain in the ass. Takes me way longer to wash and dry it. You have to take way more care of it, at least I do. More than I ever did having short hair. I had short hair all the way through my Naval career and it was nowhere near as much hassle to keep it looking good. But on balance, I'd rather have the extra work.

Sweetie, if I can give you one tip for almost everything you do in life, it's this: Do what you take pleasure in and feel good about. If you like your hair short, keep it short. Don't do something because of an ulterior motive. Because if you're not feeling good about something, that will come across in the way you act and the way you present yourself. People pick up on that far more than anything you ever do or say. First and foremost you have to be happy about something before you can ever expect anyone else to be. :)
Title: Re: Long hair vs short hair (mtf)
Post by: Northern Star Girl on September 19, 2018, 05:05:49 PM
Whoops.....  I have short hair, and I present myself as a full-time female.

I really don't think that long or short hairstyles have that much to do with a MTF presenting as a convincing female ... and with FTMs, short hair doesn't necessarily make the person convincingly present as a male.  Obviously to present as female it might be best to not have a crew-cut or buzz cut unless one wants to make a "statement"

I have had both long and short hairstyles... they both are feminine.   This year I have been keeping mine trimmed well above my shoulders, and that length is so much more compatible with my active lifestyle which includes workouts in the gym, hiking, running/jogging, etc.

In the past it took me a long time to grow it beyond my shoulder length but it was a pain, at least for me, to keep it looking nice particular when I was getting ready to go to my office in the morning... and after my activities to get it looking good again after a shower was not a quick task....  things are much easier now.

Danielle
Title: Re: Long hair vs short hair (mtf)
Post by: Sarah1979 on September 19, 2018, 05:21:12 PM
When I had long hair back in my first HRT period, I loved it, and I think it helped me pass slightly, but its hugely inconvenient...  When my hair gets long it turns into this giant mass of ringlets until I brush it out then it turns to waves, which is vastly easier to deal with, but only lasts until the next morning *sigh*
Title: Re: Long hair vs short hair (mtf)
Post by: Charlie Nicki on September 19, 2018, 05:38:03 PM
Quote from: DawnOday on September 19, 2018, 04:05:46 PM
I thought about a short haircut but it requires a lot of maintenance. Long hair not so much. Haircut once or twice a year to remove split ends. A few minutes a day with a straightening iron and a little hairspray.

Really? I tend to think longer hair is more of a hassle. As mine grows longer, it requires more attention and time to make it look pretty. I really wanna grow it because I do think it feminizes the appearance a lot, but I also believe short hair is much more practical. I kinda have the feeling that once my hair is long enough and after all the wait, I'll get tired of the high maintenance and will end up cutting it anyway lol.
Title: Re: Long hair vs short hair (mtf)
Post by: Allison S on September 19, 2018, 06:10:12 PM
Everyone is different. I think just go with what you prefer and feel good with. The thing with hair is that it's (relatively) easy to cut when long but very slow to grow. So chances are with this situation, longer hair is typically more sought after. But I think what's most important is how you style your hair, the color and your overall presentation. I guess it's MY personal preference or bias that I think ultimately long flowy, health hair is ideal for me.

I'm still growing out my hair so again, my opinion is limited. I've only ever worn my hair short. I'm realizing I'm liking my hair now where as before I didn't. It's just past my jaw bone on the sides(from the front), so it's still fairly short. I'm sort of hoping long hair will help me pass.

Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Long hair vs short hair (mtf)
Post by: DawnOday on September 19, 2018, 08:15:32 PM
Quote from: Charlie Nicki on September 19, 2018, 05:38:03 PM
Quote from: DawnOday on September 19, 2018, 04:05:46 PM
I thought about a short haircut but it requires a lot of maintenance. Long hair not so much. Haircut once or twice a year to remove split ends. A few minutes a day with a straightening iron and a little hairspray.

Really? I tend to think longer hair is more of a hassle. As mine grows longer, it requires more attention and time to make it look pretty. I really wanna grow it because I do think it feminizes the appearance a lot, but I also believe short hair is much more practical. I kinda have the feeling that once my hair is long enough and after all the wait, I'll get tired of the high maintenance and will end up cutting it anyway lol.

Yes I do. But I have cowlicks that I can't control. As the hair grows longer they lay down nicely. If you use some collagen conditioner. That helps too.
Title: Re: Long hair vs short hair (mtf)
Post by: Lyric on September 20, 2018, 09:41:42 AM
Well, Tiu, if, as you say, you love short hair I don't think you really need to force yourself to try longer hair just to look feminine enough or whatever. While long hair styles do suggest femininity there's plenty that you can do with shorter hair. As for all that talk about foreheads and neck length, stop worrying. You're not in control of what other people think and it's best not to try. If you're enjoying being yourself to the maximum, the opinions of others aren't going to be very important. It's hard to put down someone who's having a good time. Wear the look that feels great to you and stop worrying so much about this "passing" thing.
Title: Re: Long hair vs short hair (mtf)
Post by: barbie on September 20, 2018, 06:17:53 PM
Quote from: Lyric on September 20, 2018, 09:41:42 AM
Well, Tiu, if, as you say, you love short hair I don't think you really need to force yourself to try longer hair just to look feminine enough or whatever. While long hair styles do suggest femininity there's plenty that you can do with shorter hair. As for all that talk about foreheads and neck length, stop worrying. You're not in control of what other people think and it's best not to try. If you're enjoying being yourself to the maximum, the opinions of others aren't going to be very important. It's hard to put down someone who's having a good time. Wear the look that feels great to you and stop worrying so much about this "passing" thing.

Yes. I completely agree.

Nowadays I am growing my hair again. Women want changes.

barbie~~
Title: Re: Long hair vs short hair (mtf)
Post by: Tiu on September 29, 2018, 12:05:07 PM
All right. Let's put it differently. I am curious to let my hair grow. And I think I would like to try it. Not for anybody else, just for myself.

However, I don't have any experience with that. And I wonder if the long hair holds new possibilities for passing I am not aware of. Possibilites I might want to take advantage of, things I might want to consider while I let my hair grow and find a new style. Getting the most out of the new style so to say.

That type of advice is what I meant to ask for.
Title: Re: Long hair vs short hair (mtf)
Post by: Alice V on September 29, 2018, 01:57:10 PM
It doesn't matter how long is your hair, if you like it. Don't follow standarts and stereotypes :D
I can say that it damn annoying when you only start to grow hair because it trying constantly to stab you in your eyes (guess some trinkets can solve problem but I have no experience since I still didn't started HRT and have to present maleness :D )
When it grows longer things becomes better, it easier to wear.
But now I have my hair on waist level (well maybe just a bit shorter) and it became unconvinient again lol. I have to make braid just to be sure I keep it close to me haha :D Otherwise it waving around and wanna stick to just everything and in windy weather I can call myself Gorgon lol. Sometimes I wanna cut it but then I remember my friend promise me to shoot me with her bow if I'll do that (and she damn can, she's good archer) :D
Title: Re: Long hair vs short hair (mtf)
Post by: big kim on September 30, 2018, 02:20:02 AM
61 next month, I remember what a PITA it was growing my hair out from a DA so it's staying like this. https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/31046354_621161471568380_2876802617080545280_n.jpg?_nc_cat=108&oh=2dd54e592211fd0324743d2c24378184&oe=5C5141E8
Title: Re: Long hair vs short hair (mtf)
Post by: RabbitSpectre on October 03, 2018, 06:10:08 AM
Quote from: Tiu on September 19, 2018, 03:55:07 PM
So, I am a teen mtf tomboy. I love short hair and I have always had short hair. I got a pixie cut that covers my forehead and allows me to be somewhat passable. But recently I was thinking about letting my hair grow a little bit, just to see how well that works and whether I like it. However, I am a little afraid that I might not pass as well as I do now, depending on the haircut. So, there are a few questions:

1. Does long hair actually feminzine you? And why is that? How does it do that?
2. Does it feminize you even if your forehead isn't covered? More so than a pixie cut which does cover your forehead?
3. What neck length hairstyles (or what features to such a cut) can you recommend for mtf passing?
4. Do you have any other tips for pulling of long hair while passing?

Maybe I am overestimating the importance of covering up a male forehead (especially in combination with clothing, voice, etc.). My fear is, if I were to have longer hair without some protective bangs, which I would prefer; that I would look like someone who wants to pass as a female but actually isn't. I'd prefer to be perceived androgynous rather than trans I'd say.

I don't wear make up, by the way, so that won't help.

Thank you so much if you have any tip for me! :*

Hi, Tiu.

I think I'm a bit similar to you in this department, though I'm a bit older and fulling living as my gender so I think I may be able to help. ;)

Hair is really going to be dependent on the person. What works as passable hair for one girl, might not work for the next. Facial structure, features, contours, and etc, will vary.

First, lets dispel the myth of long hair right away = There are good working lengths for all female styles, just depends on you. I've seen long feminine nice hair on many sisters of ours, that doesn't work at all and ends up outting them to people around them, more often than not. It depends on your features.

If you enjoy your pixie cut and some of it is working for you, note exactly what is working for you, what you like, what best compliments your features, etc, and look for potential cuts or ideas for a longer grow if you let it get some length to evolve it. :)

I started with a pixie cut (also a tomboy ;) )and grew it to a medium length variation, that seems to work amazing on me. I also like a fluffy and volumized short/medium cut. 

Here's some general basics, for countouring and shaping, as a place to start with ideas; but I encourage you to look online at different styles, and compare pieces or parts you like that best accent your features, and make your own.
If you have a more noticable masculine jaw line or beard shadow start coming in, medium length hair with bangs and side bangs can really compliment and shape the face nicely.

Another style I personally like, is a modified pixie that is grown a little longer and thick, then with added lift and volume, it can make a great shorter compliment while giving the shaping features of a medium length cut.

If you have a very feminine face line and features, you can likely rock any style well.

I hope this helps! :)

At the end of the day, as others here have said, just be YOU, before anything else. That's the first and most important thing. But as this topic is about hair and passing, there's my two cents. ;)
Title: Re: Long hair vs short hair (mtf)
Post by: Maid Marion on October 03, 2018, 06:57:26 AM
My hair grows pretty fast, but even for me it took about four months to go from awkward in my eyes stage to where that doesn't seem to be much of a problem anymore.