Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Topic started by: PurpleWolf on March 06, 2018, 06:52:56 AM

Title: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: PurpleWolf on March 06, 2018, 06:52:56 AM

Do you wish you had transitioned earlier? When?

Are you regretting not doing it back then; or do you just now have a suitable life situation for it?

Or are you those people who don't believe in regret? Do you want to view it the way that you'll take full responsibility for you actions/inaction and are just okay with how your life went?

Or are you content you transitioned at the time you did? Or are doing it? Is this just the perfect time for it? Why?

---
As for me...
Well, I sorta kinda regret not having to... Though I very much tried at 16. But faced some transphobia etc. and couldn't blah blah... It really hit me hard back then. And dramatically affected my life, not gonna deny that!

But I do take full responsibility for my inaction since then. I've been planning to transition whole this time - but just didn't/couldn't for a variety for reasons.

So I wouldn't say I regret per se... After all that was my decision! I more of wish I had had more resilience back then plus support to work things out at the time. I don't like to view myself as a victim of any kind. I take full responsibility. And I don't believe in regret. I understand I made the decisions I made with the knowledge I had at the time.

Overall though not having transitioned has hugely affected my life and well-being in general. So don't recommend it...! If you in any way can, just do it! So in general I do wish I had transitioned earlier, at 16+, at the time I wanted to. But I didn't, so I just didn't, as simple as that. Regretting it doesn't help at least!

On the other hand I didn't for so many reasons... one of them being that I've just now come to a point in my life I have many things sorted out. I'm just in a completely different place right now than I used to be back then. So in a way I guess this is the right time for me then.

At least I don't get to say, 'what if I had enjoyed living as a woman after all; now I'll never know' or something like that!

---
Just saw this:
https://www.inc.com/benjamin-p-hardy/what-happens-when-you-take-full-responsibility-of-.html

Four realities exist:
1.Indecision is potentially your greatest threat.

2.Most people are "drifting," which means they haven't taken command of their mind or their life. Drifting is when you let external circumstances determine where you go in life.

3.Just before any substantial breakthroughs, you will experience darkness and defeat.

4.When you take control of your mind, you realize the quality of your thinking reflects your current potential.
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: Deborah on March 06, 2018, 06:57:09 AM
I don't believe in regret because it simply serves no purpose other than wasting brain cells on what can't be changed. 

If people were to live the best they can for today and stop crying over a past that no longer exists they'd be a lot happier.


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Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: Kylo on March 06, 2018, 07:01:04 AM
Well it would have been better to transition earlier from a career and life standpoint. I wouldn't be where I am now which is starting over in my 30s and having to give up long term bonds. I wouldn't have taken the path I did with either of those if I'd transitioned earlier.

But the reason was I hadn't figured it all out until I did, and I didn't know you could even do anything about it until I did. So I don't blame myself for not knowing what I didn't know and what wasn't readily available information at the time. I still tried my best to chase some kind of happiness in every place I could.

In some ways this is a good time for it. I'm not as stupid as I was when I was young, and I've had time and enough failures in life to get to know exactly who I am and what I want. So maybe this is the right time, the best time. Who knows.
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: Gertrude on March 06, 2018, 07:18:51 AM
Quote from: Deborah on March 06, 2018, 06:57:09 AM
I don't believe in regret because it simply serves no purpose other than wasting brain cells on what can't be changed. 

If people were to live the best they can for today and stop crying over a past that no longer exists they'd be a lot happier.


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I heard a saying from an addict once that goes something like this: if you keep one foot stuck in yesterday and one foot stuck in tomorrow you end up crapping on today. It's sort of about momentum. It'll happen when you get to that place where you can't live with your false self anymore.


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Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: Devlyn on March 06, 2018, 07:37:15 AM
I'm pretty proactive when it comes to not having regrets. I transitioned pretty soon after figuring myself out. In female mode at 48 I remember thinking "If I had done this at 24 I would have really been an eyeful!"  That's as close to regret as I ever got.

Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: TonyaW on March 06, 2018, 08:05:00 AM
Quote from: Deborah on March 06, 2018, 06:57:09 AM
I don't believe in regret because it simply serves no purpose other than wasting brain cells on what can't be changed. 

If people were to live the best they can for today and stop crying over a past that no longer exists they'd be a lot happier.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Excellent way to approach it.


Reminds me of the the only thing worth remembering from a 3 day corporate rah-rah thing I was forced to attend about 12 years ago. 

Worry is wasted imagination.

I'll adapt the two for this thread

Don't regret or worry about the past which you can't change. Imagine the future which you can. 



Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: stephaniec on March 06, 2018, 09:14:38 AM
yes
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: AnnMarie2017 on March 06, 2018, 09:47:57 AM
I think the thought, "If I knew then what I know now," is familiar to lot more people than our community.

I don't waste time pining after might-have-beens. But, sure, it would have been nice to know when I was younger, and still had hair.  :D But I also think things happen in our lives for a reason -- broad strokes, mostly, not the little details -- and I think for some reason I wasn't supposed to know before I did.

I'll have to ask Someone about that, someday ...
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: Bari Jo on March 06, 2018, 10:34:33 AM
Sure absolutely, not only did I know I was trans at a very young age, I even attempted DIY transition three times and failed. I couldn't commit, was still in denial and the shame so overbearing.  With age comes wisdom and the fear lessened enough for me to commit and out myself to loved ones.  This transition won't fail.  I may be old but I can still be happy.

Bari Jo
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: Northern Star Girl on March 06, 2018, 11:18:47 AM
The question that I asked myself when I was in the middle of my transitioning is:
"Why did I wait so long?"
I am certain that many transgenders lament waiting so long to finally do what they had to do.... but transitioning is a big deal and it affects our relationships, our job, our families... not just our bodies... so it is the biggest decision you can make for yourself and it certainly requires deep thought and counseling...  and therefore that is why most of us had delayed the inevitable.
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: LaRell on March 06, 2018, 11:24:48 AM
Absolutely!  I wish so bad the option had been there for me back before I went through male puberty.  I wish I could have stopped my voice from deepening, and all of the other nasty effects that disgusting T word does to our bodies.   But it just was not an option for me given the environment I was in at the time with the family I had and things.  I did not know back then that there was even anything that could be done though.  I just thought I was some weird freak with this strange, abnormal draw toward girly things and feeling like I was a girl when I clearly could see I was a boy.

  As for later when I learned there was something that could be done.........Yes.....I absolutely wish I would have jumped on it then as well.  I would be like 10 years into my transition by now!  Would have gotten so much more life to live as the girl I am instead of being forced to put on my man suit every day :-(

 
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: Allison S on March 06, 2018, 12:32:10 PM
I always tried to take care of myself. As messed up as I was mentally because of depression and anxiety, I knew something had to change... I looked at so many before and after pictures of peole on hrt. I saw some great results. Finally, I got a wig and did my makeup when I was alone at home or at my friends house. Then I started liking what I saw. I've always had very bad self esteem issues and was angry. But I didn't know why since people would tell me I'm handsome and good looking.

Do I regret not transitioning earlier? Sure. Will it stop me. Of course not because nothing can unless I die. [emoji4]

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Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: Barb99 on March 06, 2018, 12:34:24 PM
Do I ever! Transition is the best thing that ever happened to me. I wish I had done it 40 or 50 years ago.
I figured out what I was back in my mid 20's and had we had the internet when I was 10 or 12 I probably would have figured it out then. Yes I wish I could have transitioned before puberty and testosterone could do it's damage or had the courage to do it in my 20's. Ignoring it, hiding it and running away from it was not a great or sustainable solution.
 
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: DawnOday on March 06, 2018, 01:12:11 PM
As Rod says in his song Ooh la la. "Wish I knew, what I know now, when I was younger"  It was a much different time.
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: Julia1996 on March 06, 2018, 02:42:51 PM
I do actually.  I was really scared my dad was going to reject me because of the lies my mom told me so I didn't transition until I was 17 and he actually outed me. If I had known he would be ok with it I would have told him sooner and could have transitioned sooner. But though it would have been cool to transition at like 12 years old Im still satisfied with my transition.
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: invisiblemonsters on March 06, 2018, 05:24:06 PM
nope, i don't think it would have made a difference for me to transition earlier tbh because i started my transition at 18, finished by the time i was 23ish. i might have gotten a few things sooner (a job, license, etc.) but it doesn't change anything for me imo. i might have felt different if my transition took longer though. actually it was my own fault on why i didn't finish my transition by 20. i started T then a year later had my top surgery. if it took longer to go through that, yeah, i probably would have regretted it.
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: SammyHatesGreenEggs on March 06, 2018, 05:52:32 PM
I have mixed feeling on this.  In some regards, I wish I had transitioned when I was a teenager to improve the physical result and have more time to live as a woman.

However, my emotional state is much better now than what it is then, and I'm in a much better financial position than I was in then too.

So I consider it a wash.  As others have pointed out, there's not much you can do about the past, so regret is a waste of time unless it motivates you to do something different in your life going forward.
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: JeannieLuv13 on March 06, 2018, 06:01:18 PM
I do wish I had started sooner.  Now I feel like I should have been born 5-10 years later.

I joined the Army and when I deployed and saved most my money, I promised myself when I got out in 2015, I would find a therapist and hopefully start soon after.  But I still had unfounded doubts and I do feel like everything happens for a reason, so I understand why I couldn't.

I feel having regret is natural, what matters is how you choose to use it.
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: KathyLauren on March 06, 2018, 06:05:45 PM
At age 63, I certainly could regret not having transitioned earlier.  I understand where that thought comes from.  I could have saved myself so many years of pain, I could have had a beautiful body and face.  Yada, yada, woulda, shoulda, coulda.  I could think that way, but I don't.

The bottom line is, I wasn't ready.  It took me that long to strip away the heavily entranched layers of internal transphobia and insecurity.

I certainly don't regret where I have ended up.  I am in such a wonderful place in my life now that I don't think I would change anything even if I could.  Every decision and non-decision that I ever made brought me to this place where I get to be myself, married to an amazing, supportive woman, with understanding and accepting neighbours, no obligations, and decent health and adequate finances to enjoy it all.  How can I regret that?
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: Corax on March 06, 2018, 06:26:42 PM
Certainly!
I wish someone had known about the condition, had seen the signs and had taken me to the doctors as a child so that I could have gotten puberty blockers that would have prevented my body from developing into a disgusting monstrosity.
If puberty would have gotten prevented my life would have been so much better and it wouldn't have gone to complete >-bleeped-<.

I started transitioning as soon as I learned about the condition and that it was possible for me to not vegetate in such a miserable state anymore but that my body could be changed so I didn't waste more time.
However I still wish I would have known earlier or someone from my family would have, it would have spared me of so much and I could actually have had a life worth living which I hadn't have before transitioning as I just vegetated but was kept by that body from actually living.
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: natalie.ashlyne on March 06, 2018, 08:55:59 PM
I do regret not transitioning sooner because a few reasons, I would have affected less peoples lives if I transitioned earlier. I would have got to live as myself and not a lie sooner I would have been happy with my self
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: Mary1 on March 06, 2018, 09:57:47 PM
Quote from: TonyaW on March 06, 2018, 08:05:00 AM
Excellent way to approach it.


Reminds me of the the only thing worth remembering from a 3 day corporate rah-rah thing I was forced to attend about 12 years ago. 

Worry is wasted imagination.

I'll adapt the two for this thread

Don't regret or worry about the past which you can't change. Imagine the future which you can. 



Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk
Yes leave the your family in the past

Sent from my XT1254 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: WolfNightV4X1 on March 07, 2018, 01:17:15 AM
Would have been nice to be transitioned socially by at least middle or high school, or have full freedom to wear boys clothes like I would have wanted to instead of being stuck in gender roles my whole life, but that was hardly possible in my household.

Honestly, my window for transition was at just the right time, if I had discovered earlier, I would have been more miserable (than I was) for a longer time, but instead I found out at the peak of my young adulthood where I could act and make decisions, so I'm very fortunate that I was only Pre-T for four years at most
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: TaiseiReborn on March 08, 2018, 09:03:30 PM
I would say yes I wish I did, but now that I have lived a bit more in my life and gotten a tad bit older I'm glad I didn't.

While I was happy to fully realize I was trans as a teenager; I don't think I would have handled things as well as I might now. So basically in short not really

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Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: ghost0001 on March 09, 2018, 07:54:15 AM
Every day of my life.  I'm 39, I would have been 12 if I started then, in the 80s. 

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Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: PollyQMcLovely on March 09, 2018, 01:32:40 PM
If I had transitioned earlier in life(I use the conditional past perfect because I only have 2 months of HRT behind me) I believe I could have avoided many extended and involuntary stays in psychiatric wards and bouts of homelessness and addiction and other awful things. I can't be certain of that but after deciding to take this path seriously my mental health has noticably improved, I think.
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: November Fox on March 10, 2018, 11:07:19 PM
Yes I do.

I believe your twenties are an important part of your development and a great time to go crazy and explore. I explored plenty, but in hindsight I wish I could have transitioned in my teens, so that I could have had some sort of wild guy-experience.

It isn't a realistic wish though. I was in a traumatic situation at the time and any gender issues would have been completely devastating. Things in life happen at the right time.
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: smart_michelle on April 28, 2018, 03:17:11 PM
Yes and no.

Yes, as I would have loved to grow up female, and experience growing up female and  life as my daughters are doing.

No, as my lovely daughters might not have happened!

No internet when I was growing up and any portrayal of anyone transgender on TV was very much in the pantomine dame or very camp sort of style. So I had no idea of other people like me and (although this is not the case now) my parents weren't supportive back when I was 8. So I had to work things put for myself for such aong time.

(Had a lovely day with my parents today! They are just regarding me turning up at their house as normal everyday as it was before I transitioned recently. Went out with my mum for the first time today too!)

Michelle
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: Angela H on April 29, 2018, 06:32:01 AM
I think it's really healthy to have that kind of attitude that I see many of the posters in this thread have of not regretting what you can't change.

And maybe after I've transitioned I'll be able to get to that point where it no longer bothers me anymore, but right now?
Right now (bearing in mind I haven't started HRT yet), it's completely, totally maddening(!) that I could have gotten on hormones a decade ago if I had been brave enough to be honest to my family about my real self. I wasted ten years of my life being totally miserable and made transitioning that much harder for no reason at all!  >:(

QuoteBut, sure, it would have been nice to know when I was younger, and still had hair.
Oh my God! Yes, that too!  :'(


Sorry if I came across like I'm whining. I really am grateful for all the blessings in my life, but it's really hard for me to not regret the wasted years right now.  :'(
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: Danielle M on April 29, 2018, 02:14:20 PM
The ideal time would have been in middle school before testosterone fully ruined my body,face and voice. I would have passed way better.  Also it would not have impacted on so many family members (kids etc.)
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: Rachel_Christina on April 29, 2018, 02:24:14 PM
Aw god for sure.
The worst part about it is you still remember how you used to look. How dinky and cute you used to be.
I feel clunky compared to 15 years ago
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: SeptagonScars on April 29, 2018, 07:19:51 PM
Do you wish you had transitioned earlier? When?
- Well, I think I came out and sought transition at a good time of my life, but I wish I had been granted hrt and surgery much sooner than I did. I came out at age 19 and should have gotten hrt around 1,5 year later when I got my diagnosis, but didn't actually get it until I was 24. That I'm still bitter about.

Are you regretting not doing it back then; or do you just now have a suitable life situation for it?
- I don't know, at this point it doesn't really matter all that much if I had started at age 21 instead of age 24. I don't actually regret my "denial period" in my teens, cause I think it taught me very valuable things, and made me extra certain that I'm really trans and needed to transition. So for that reason, I don't regret not having come out sooner than I actually did.

Or are you those people who don't believe in regret? Do you want to view it the way that you'll take full responsibility for you actions/inaction and are just okay with how your life went?
- More so that I don't believe in coincidence, and think everything happens for a reason. And when I look back at my past, it makes sense and I don't really wish to change anything. So, in that way, I don't really regret anything, even bad stuff in my past. And also, it tends to feel better when I can accept reality rather than wish it was different.

But "taking full responsibility" is something I've always been avoiding and evading my entire life. That's not my cup of tea. I slither away instead and let someone else deal with my cr*p, and then I come back and am like "thank you so much, I feel sooo bad for having avoided this issue, but my anxiety is so brutal with me right now..." despite not even having anxiety about it. I'm a snake, I know. So no, I don't tend to take responsibility for my actions, I hand that over to others instead, whenever I can. In terms of my transition though, perhaps that doesn't apply.

Or are you content you transitioned at the time you did? Or are doing it? Is this just the perfect time for it? Why?
- I think it happened when it was supposed to. Had I done it earlier risk is I hadn't been ready and it would have been too overwhelming. Had I waited longer I probably wouldn't have survived. So it was probably pretty good timing. It's more so that I regret not being more harsh on my gender therapists who treated me badly/unfairly when I should have spoken up. The timing of my transition mostly just is what it is. I was very confused about my gender as a kid and teen, so I couldn't have reasonably begun transition at that kind of age, even though I knew what being trans was from around age 12, and it would have been unlikely I could have gotten any medical treatment like hrt at any age under 18 anyway. Even if my parents would have allowed for me to, I don't think the doctors would have. It's very rare that trans people who are minors here get to start anything medical other than blockers. So then what's the point.

I was halfway out of the closet a few months before turning 16, even bought some male clothes (that I still have and still fit) and practiced binding my chest, and talked to my mother about it a little. She was not amused by my idea and tried to talk me out of it. That was what kinda scared me back into the closet, and I didn't actually come out then. Like I didn't make an official announcement, and my mother didn't say anything about me going back to living as a girl again. She told me to "do the best of what I've got" and I interpreted it as that I should try to be a girl instead. I don't regret going back into the closet at that time, because trying that hard for the next 4 years to "be a girl" really taught me how much I wasn't a girl and could never be. I wasn't really ready to come out and live as a guy, until after those 4 years of denial. It was kind of my "baptism of fire" to really know that transitioning was gonna be worth it.
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: ReplacementSarah on April 29, 2018, 08:23:05 PM
Well, on one hand I'm just starting down the road of transition, and I wish I could have transitioned like yesterday. However, practically speaking, the answer is no. If I transitioned earlier I likely wouldn't have my kids and I love my kids more than anything.
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: Angela H on April 30, 2018, 02:29:02 PM
Quote from: ReplacementSarah on April 29, 2018, 08:23:05 PM
Well, on one hand I'm just starting down the road of transition, and I wish I could have transitioned like yesterday. However, practically speaking, the answer is no. If I transitioned earlier I likely wouldn't have my kids and I love my kids more than anything.

Aww, that's cute Sarah.

I think your kids are lucky to have you.  :D
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: naa on May 01, 2018, 01:49:32 AM
I wish I'd started HRT and blockers earlier.  I love what they've done to me, but starting at the age of 35, there's a limit to what they can do.

If I'd started even just a few years earlier, my hairline would be in a better place.  A few years earlier than that, maybe I'd have got a bit more boob growth.  It's hard to say.

Ideally, I'd want to skip the testosterone based puberty I went through entirely.  But that can't happen, and the changes I've managed to get do really make me happy.
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: ReplacementSarah on May 01, 2018, 08:28:06 AM
Quote from: Angela H on April 30, 2018, 02:29:02 PM
Aww, that's cute Sarah.

I think your kids are lucky to have you.  :D

Thanks, Angela!  :D
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: Sena on May 15, 2018, 10:57:34 AM
Not so much regret as frustration becaus of some mistakes and misinformation that where made not only by me but also the gender clinic it took about 5 years longer for me to start with hormones then i did.
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: Maybebaby56 on May 28, 2018, 04:42:53 PM
Hello everyone,

I am late to this thread but wanted to respond because it is something I tortured myself about for many years.

When I was 13, in 1970, I was sent to a psychoanalyst by my parents, for reasons that were never explained. One day, he asked me, "Is there anything you want to talk about?". An innocent question, perhaps, but there was one subject that absolutely dominated my existence, and that was I wanted to be a girl.  I wanted to leap out my chair and tell him my deepest, darkest secret, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

He doodled on his notepad, and I suffered in silence for 51 minutes.  Then he said, "Well, our time is up." I was relieved to get out of there, but deeply disappointed that I didn't speak up.

Years later, after I started my transition at age 56 (a partial explanation of my screen name, if anyone was wondering), I related my story to a friend, and told her how much I lamented the fact I didn't say anything so many years ago.  "I could have started hormones! I wouldn't have had to go through puberty as a male!  I would have a woman's shape, and a woman's voice!".

She responded, "Are you crazy? Do you know what they would have done to you? They would have tried to cure you, that's what."

She was right.  In 1970 transsexualism was a mental illness. I once exchanged e-mails with a woman on this site who is about my age.  She was caught wearing her mother's lipstick when she was 12.  She was sent to a mental institution for three years.  She was forcibly drugged, given electroschock, and beaten and raped by the staff.

As much as I wish that I could have transitioned in my teens, it was a different world then. I believe there is a reason my transition finally happened so late in my life. Medical science and mental health treatment have advanced, social acceptance is much greater, and most importantly, I was finally strong enough mentally to make the tremendous leap.

I will never be a pretty young woman, but I did get a lifetime of male privilege as a consolation prize, which meant a good career and salary, without which I would not have the insurance coverage and financial resources I needed to transition.

Better to grow old as the woman I longed to be than the man I despised. You have to seize the opportunities life gives you.  In 30 years, there will probably be lab-grown vaginas or penises, and the medical treatments will likely be more effective and rewarding than they are now.  But those aren't options now, so I choose to be happy with what I have been able to do.

That's really all any of us can do, or endeavor to do - be happy with who we are.

With kindness,

Terri

       
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: Maria77 on May 29, 2018, 08:34:19 AM
If I had transitioned young, likely I would have died of AIDs back in the 80s.  So I do, but the specific context might not have worked out for me.
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: Sojourn on May 31, 2018, 09:22:48 PM
I know it's cliche, but I knew I was trans when I was 2 years old. I even told my parents "I want to be a girl" for a few months and soon learned how shame felt. (Eventually, my mom asked me why, and, for some reason, was relieved when I said "because girls are pretty". Like that lessened the severity of the situation. [emoji19]) I wish I could have transitioned young. I wish I'd never gone through male puberty. I wish I didn't have to go through hours of painful electrolysis. I wish I weren't the height I am (5'10"). I wish my voice had never deepened forcing to either train my voice to be higher or consider surgery. I wish people didn't have the natural urge to stare at me when we pass on the sidewalk. It's only natural to stare at an anomaly, so I don't blame them... People are often quick to say "but your struggles make you stronger and give you character." From a psychological perspective, I understand why people would say that, but it's bs. >-bleeped-<ty is >-bleeped-<ty. I wouldn't say I'm regretful. It just wasn't possible for me to transition young. I was, unfortunately, born in 1987, and grew up in the South. I'm moreso pissed at society for not allowing me to be myself. I considered running away to a liberal city, leaving my zealous Christian family and friends, and transitioning at 18. That's the only way I could have started earlier, but I probably would have wound up homeless or dead. Part of me still wishes I'd done that. Whenever I see "trans kids" like Jazz Jennings I'm both happy to see society changing and profoundly jealous. I'll stop my rant now.

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Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: Amaki on May 31, 2018, 09:44:39 PM
In all honestly I have very few memories of when I was younger... I dont know if Ive just blocked them out, or maybe one of the times I hit my head I lost most of them. But honestly I do wish I was more open about my feeling back than maybe it would of help, maybe not it was the early 90's anything different must be burn type of attitude. Now Im all in a hurry to get into finally being happy even though I know like everything else in life its a hurry up and wait scenario. I do really like the experiences that build me as a whole but I also wished it was easier to be me back than too.

Sorry have to stay positive not only for you all be myself as well.
Title: Re: Do you wish you had transitioned earlier?
Post by: Susan H on June 17, 2018, 07:57:00 PM
I was three years old when I told my mom that i wished i had been born a girl. She spent the rest of her life trying to get me to be more masculine  Mom died when i was fourteen. Dad seemed to be okay with my feminine self, so long as i kept it inside of the house. I was starting my senior year of high school when I really got to start.
So, yeah, that was like fifteen years later than i wanted to.