Quote from: Laurie on January 17, 2018, 12:17:31 PM
Driving it is my fear of the closeness with someone else and my fear of breaking down in their presence.
Hugs,
Laurie
I hate to break it to you girl but isn't that what Moni said? Only worded slightly differently. See you're already there, you are a women. (insert big hug)
We all carry this fear, every last one of us and the best any of us can do is wish for the grace to recognise it in others. (Which you already do with bucketloads of Laurie warmth, kindness, insight and the open hand of friendship you extend to everyone. Nobody gets left behind and if they do it's not for the want of trying) This is the strength of a woman.
Oh and less of the weird thank you very much. If trans, autistic, with a slight speech impediment, possible developing limp, a fear of bus stops and an even more irrational fear of pigeons weird then that's just plain nitpicking. And no I haven't got nits! ;D
Peace an love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
But I meant weird in and affectionate way Sadie. Really.
Sadie, you are so very right. None of us are normative persons, adhering to middle of the road cultural values, appearance, or behavior. That doesn't mean we are weird.
I like the older meaning of weird, as pertaining to the supernatural, out of the ordinary. Now, that's my style!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Okay okay I deleted that part.
Quote from: Laurie on January 17, 2018, 02:53:55 PM
But I meant weird in and affectionate way Sadie. Really.
I know you did Laurie ;D It's just my dry British wit, it comes from being an islander you know. See my point in case or is it case in point? right there, you're concerned for peoples feelings.
Quote from: Michelle_P on January 17, 2018, 03:04:22 PM
Sadie, you are so very right. None of us are normative persons, adhering to middle of the road cultural values, appearance, or behavior. That doesn't mean we are weird.
I like the older meaning of weird, as pertaining to the supernatural, out of the ordinary. Now, that's my style!
Me too, weird is creative, It's individual, colourful, (yes, islander's spell colourful with a an extra 'u') mysterious....... whatever your interpretation of it is, it's free of convention.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I'm an islander too! I really big island! Does that make me weird and colourful? Does it, does it, does it??!!!! 🤪[emoji854][emoji56][emoji41]
Quote from: Jayne01 on January 17, 2018, 05:02:27 PM
I'm an islander too! I really big island! Does that make me weird and colourful? Does it, does it, does it??!!!! 🤪[emoji854][emoji56][emoji41]
Put a shrimp on the Barbie Sweetie and we'll talk about it!
Quote from: Cali on January 17, 2018, 05:04:50 PM
Put a shrimp on the Barbie Sweetie and we'll talk about it!
Done! Barbie is still hot from breakfast.
Quote from: Jayne01 on January 17, 2018, 05:02:27 PM
I'm an islander too! I really big island! Does that make me weird and colourful? Does it, does it, does it??!!!! 🤪[emoji854][emoji56][emoji41]
While I didn't attend my high school's first 10 year reunion, I did pay for the booklet they did. When it asked what my plans were I said I was moving to Australia. Reason I said that was that the cold war was still on and I figured that in the event of a nuclear war, Australia would be one of the areas that survived and this was before Mad Max :) So you're a kewl Island Girl :)
Quote from: Cali on January 17, 2018, 08:27:04 PM
... So you're a kewl Island Girl :)
[emoji4] Thank you
Sending you lots of love, Laurie! :-*
Laurie is a pretty special person for many of us posting here. Even the honey badgers are drawn to her.
Laurie, just be patient and heal in body and soul. Everything takes time. I'm confident you are here, and healing as part of a greater purpose in life. I know you have doubts, but your life will get better.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I am okay today. My thought are on Kendra, Rebecca, Cindy, Liz, her wife and their girls, and Sara (Coldheart). All of them have something going on that I am concerned about. Kendra of course is or has undergoing GCS. I wanted very much to drive down there and be there for her but I had another commitment mad a couple months ago that required be to be home today. I toyed with the idea of running down there this afternoon but I have to get something fixed on my pickup so it can pass emission controls testing and get it registered before next month.So I'm going nowhere until after that gets done. The others are in my thoughts for different reasons that are not my place to elaborate on.
Sara is of particularly of concern to me. Some of you may have noticed she closed her account here. So is also closing her Facebook account possibly by this weekend. I believe she then plans to close herself down. She has a dog and a cat she needs to find a home for first. I believe it is only those two things keeping her from trying to end her life again. I don't think anything is going to stop her.
I message her everyday talking to her letting her know I care about her. She seldom answers but I can see when she reads them. I'm not the only one trying to reach her. Ashley does too. i am sure others talk to here too. Liz has, Artesia has. I've let her know I have shared her feelings and thoughts about first thinking of ending things and more recently my not thinking of doing something myself but still not wanting to be here. That if something were to happen that would do it for me I would welcome it. She got upset with me Tuesday over something I said. Wednesday she blasted me and said I have no idea how hard things are for her. That was the last thing she said to me. I did some blasting back and telling her I wasn't angry but I thought she was probably mad at me. She had read the things I have messaged her since then so I know the she was alive today. Once she closes her facebook I won't even know that. It won't stop me from worrying about her.
She may not want to believe me but I do know how she feels.
Laurie
Hi Folks,
My glasses arrived today. :)
(https://i.imgur.com/TSRozbm.jpg)
Nice glasses. They suit you.
Quote from: Laurie on January 18, 2018, 06:46:33 PM
Hi Folks,
My glasses arrived today. :)
(https://i.imgur.com/TSRozbm.jpg)
Nice
Thank you both.
Nice taste, you look very femme
Quote from: markie on January 18, 2018, 11:22:09 PM
Nice taste, you look very femme
How's my mummy doing?
Thank you Markie. I'm okay a little better now that I know Kendra is okay and has her other 2/3rd there with her. I had an opportunity to talk with her a bit and listen to her blame me for Beth and Saha being there. Really it wasn't my fault. She is in good spirits and is not in a lot of pain and said she hasn't had to hit the pain button at all yet.
Speaking of pain Markie... How are you doing?
Hugs,
Laurie
Morning Laurie, or is it afternoon or some strange quantum time anomaly that your country has designed to confuse us islanders.
Nice peepers, they suit you girl :) Very classy.
Have a wonderful day ;D
Sadie
Nice glasses Laurie, love the colour!
I'm always in a pair, but they come off for many of my pictures just due to glare/reflections. They can be another helpful prop for others to gender us correctly. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Quote from: Laurie on January 18, 2018, 06:46:33 PM
Hi Folks,
My glasses arrived today. :)
(https://i.imgur.com/TSRozbm.jpg)
I like the specs. Nice portrait, too!
Laurie your new glasses are awesome! And thank you for your thoughts.
Hi folks,
Thank you all who commented on my glasses and the other kind words said.
Today was another day of facial torture with my therapist and friend Christina. As usual we talked of many things. Some of my presence here on Susan's. She knows I am a moderator and she knows I have many friends here that also support me.
I get no sympathy from her if I tell her of something that bothered me and she readily take the other side if she feel whoever or whatever bothered me was correct in her opinion. Like my therapist making me mad by wanting me to say "Laurie, I love you" I knew I shouldn't have told her that. Anyway we talk and laugh and I enjoy my visits with her. Today at the end of the session I told her I have been doing better the last few days. Feeling better. I don't feel so empty and lost. I'm not ready to embrace life again but neither am I hurrying to end it. I'm sure I'm not done with my dark thoughts. That would be silly for me to think I'm okay, but for now I am feeling better.
I told her I thought I'm beginning to feel like I can face friends again.
I kind of feel guilty feeling this way with Sara feeling so bad. I felt at least close to her despair. I shared that with her a few weeks ago. The other day it came back to hit me in the face. I had told her I have wished I had pulled the trigger 20 some years again. That I have wished it several times recently. That was when she told me "So do it now" "Like you tell me what is left" I was shocked by it. Then I realized I didn't have an answer for her. I fumbled around with it in my head and come up with "I am getting help for my problems and I want you to get help for yours" I side stepped the question but I think I decided then I won't do it. I don't think I want to kill myself anymore. And that makes me feel guilty, like I am letting Sara down. Leaving her alone in her hopelessness and pain.
Sara was/is? alive today. I saw that she read two of my messages sent at different times. Will she be alive tomorrow I don't know. But I will try to reach her again. It is all I can do for her, reach out my hand and hope she will grab onto it. Let her know I am here and thinking about her. Worried about her.
Hugs,
Laurie
It is sad to hear about anyone who is so lost that they consider leaving this world. I was at that point a few times myself, but the thought of what would happen to my wife and daughters kept me here. Now that I have finally found my path I want to hang around as long as I can. I hope Sara finds a reason to stay. I would never wish pain on anyone, but sometimes tortured souls are the most beautiful because they have survived so much pain.
...and yes, your new glasses suit you very well!
Laurie, you should not feel guilty for wanting to live. I don't know Sara. It is heartbreaking to know she is in so much pain, you sitting alongside her also wanting to kill yourself will not help her. You being the awesome, loving, caring person you are will help her. When you find peace with yourself, you can help others so much more effectively.
I am very glad (and relieved)that you no longer wanted to kill yourself. You even managed to write the words "Laurie, I love you". You may not yet be ready to believe those words, but you wrote them down. That's a positive step forward!
It is ok for you to feel some happiness in yourself even when a friend is in despair. Don't confuse your empathy for others with guilt. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
I hope Sara will be ok. I am thinking of her and anxiously await updates from you that you have some evidence that she is ok.
Jayne
Sara is in Wales. Photos 4 thru 8 in this thread from November 2017 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,231102.msg2054566.html#msg2054566). She touched many hearts and has closed her membership with Susan's Place.
Laurie, you have a great deal of empathy for those members here (past and present) who are struggling; a real gift for all of us.
The very best way for you to help others is to be a beacon of how anyone can find a happiness, even from the lowest ebbs, never feel any guilt for this.
There is a 6 month time gap between my first profile on Susan's (meganjames) and my current one. This was my lowest time, dealing with suicidal thoughts on a daily basis. I know it's possible to climb out of that place and find real happiness. The support of others is invaluable, but ultimately, a person will only achieve this when they are ready, and not before.
Maybe it's your time to rise up, though Sarah may not be there yet, have hope she'll get there too. X
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Didn't look on here last night as crashed out after my shower, well knackered. Glasses look great. have Sara's phone no but not contacted her as she didn't reply to my last message with my phone no, will text her tomorrow.
Sara is still with us today (night her time). I messaged her a couple thins posted about her from this thread. I thought they might help a little to know people she doen't know care too. I did that last night and this morning I again posted a message to let her know I am still here telling her she matters and that I worry about her. She read them a little while ago and as usual did not respond. That is okay. I know she is alive.
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on January 19, 2018, 09:29:19 PMfor now I am feeling better.
I am glad to hear this, Laurie!
Quote from: Laurie on January 16, 2018, 02:23:11 PM
One more thing that has added to my not caring if I live to tomorrow is my cancer history. It haunts me. I am not supposed to be here. Twice I was supposed to die from it. Yet I am here. Instead of joy I face an uncertain future. Three times I have fought with it. The forth will no doubt kill me if I even live that long. All of these contribute to my not wanting to be here and not caring if I were to die. it just doesn't matter... nothing else matters.
Laurie, maybe look at it another way. Maybe you
are supposed to be here. Maybe the fighting was for a reason. Sweetie, life is a matter of perspective. It's about how you look at the world.
You're here. You fought and won. More than once. We can only take the future one day at a time but we can make each day count. We can get to the end of each day knowing that we did something that day which made the world a better place. If not for ourselves then for someone else.
I believe things happen for a reason. You know the stuff that's happened to me. In spite of everything, and how I feel, I believe it's made me a better person, overall. No matter what I do or don't want, I believe it's allowed me to understand my purpose in the world. To understand why I'm here.
Laurie, I think you're here for a reason. I think there's a reason you haven't given up yet. I believe that if you didn't want to be here, or didn't deep down believe there's something worth fighting for, then you wouldn't be. I think that you
are supposed to be here. For yourself and others. But I know you don't believe that, yet. Neither did I. But it's my hope you will, one day.
Until that day, know that I'm here if you need to talk, vent, rage, cry, laugh, or whatever else, okay?
*extra big hug*
Quote from: Kendra on January 20, 2018, 05:07:43 AM
Sara is in Wales. Photos 4 thru 8 in this thread from November 2017 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,231102.msg2054566.html#msg2054566). She touched many hearts and has closed her membership with Susan's Place.
Kendra, thanks for putting a face to Sara's name. I won't pretend to know what she is going through, but I do know what it is like to be suicidal and having very nearly ending myself. I've managed to get past that horrible part of my life and now I am experiencing happiness like never before, and each day continues to get better.
Sara, I hope you continue to read these posts even though you have deleted your account here. I would love to no more about you. Please hang in there.
Laurie, you are progressing well with your issues. I no longer need to worry as much about you, I know you will be ok.
Jayne
Quote from: Laurie on January 20, 2018, 02:49:24 PM
Sara is still with us today (night her time). I messaged her a couple thins posted about her from this thread. I thought they might help a little to know people she doen't know care too. I did that last night and this morning I again posted a message to let her know I am still here telling her she matters and that I worry about her. She read them a little while ago and as usual did not respond. That is okay. I know she is alive.
Laurie
You posted this as I was typing my last message. I'm glad Sara is still with us.
Laurie, thank you for persisting to try and make contact with Sara. Although she doesn't reply, at least she reads her messages. You are very caring and very stubborn, I know you won't give up on her. I am very worried about her but as long as she keeps giving signs of life, I can breath a little easier.
Jayne
Managed to get in touch with Sara by text (looks like my last one didn't get through) so we had a little natter , hoping she will come and visit and told her she can stay with me to save looking for a B&B. Will try and rub off some of my "lifes >-bleeped-< but you just dig your way through it" attitude
Quote from: davina61 on January 21, 2018, 03:11:25 PM
Managed to get in touch with Sara by text (looks like my last one didn't get through) so we had a little natter , hoping she will come and visit and told her she can stay with me to save looking for a B&B. Will try and rub off some of my "lifes >-bleeped-< but you just dig your way through it" attitude
Oh that's a relief! I've mentioned before, I don't know Sara, but have been deeply touched by her pain. I'm glad she is ok and willing to chat with someone.
Jayne
Thank you Davina. I don't think Sara has a way to go visiting you except her motorbike and that seems like a long trip on one of those. But I agree with Jayne at least she is chatting with you. That's more than I get most of the time.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: p on January 18, 2018, 12:09:48 PM
Sending you lots of love, Laurie! :-*
Patti,
I'm sorry I skipped over responding to you my #1 fan. Thank you for the love you send my way. I love you also and I do think of your cute blond countenance and would love to see you again and spend more time with you. Our visit was far too short.
Hugs,
Laurie
I've been worried about Sara, glad she's still in contact with some of you. I tried to offer some support and advice whenever she came back here, but I don't know if I was any help at all.
I am glad Laurie's feeling better though!
Hi folks,
I started my day texting a bit with Kendra which was nice as usual. I fixed breakfast sent Sara a message did a bit of reading on the forums and then ran into computer problems by downloading a new video driver from nvidia. well it messed up FB messenger and made my second video card not work so I lost two of my displays and for awhile was down to only one. I got out my laptop and started letting it update and the battery charge. I haven't turned it on for 7 months. I though it would be nice to have handy should I mess up my desktop even more in my attempts the figure out what the problem is. I've been thinking of doing another clean install with microsoft's latest available image so it wouldn't have taken much to get me to do it. but after a few hours I got it all working again.
During this Sara decided to answer my earlier post. She seem a bit put out by my telling her that others here care about her and my telling her she matters. She was argumentative with me as I tried to tell her I understood how she feels but that i got help with medications and therapy and told her it could help her too. Her last response to me was "I do not want medication if i have that my HRT will be stopped & as i said i don't want help" I urged her not to give up and then asked her "Sara will you answer me this? What good does hrt do for you if you are not alive?' She read that but not the next yet. "Think about it Hun we need you here to enjoy what hrt can do for you." So once again I wait to see if she will be with us in the morning.
So most of my day was spent on getting my desktop back into complete functioning order and I will again miss a lot of posts I'd like to read. It seems like I am further behind on the forums at the end of the day than I was at the beginnings. I can't seem to keep up.
Oh I got up later than usual. I had a strange dream this morning. Very strange like i was in some kind of store, in there was a counter much like a auto parts store with guys behind it. There was also an open area wit tables and chairs. I was there to get my hair dyed a light blond by a woman there that I used to work with years ago in our office.
Before getting started the guys started tossing a foot ball around and to me and of course if I caught it I caught and threw it like a girl. I was lousy at it. Then it was time to get my hair washed and dyed I like d how is came out. But then I got perplexed, I began wondering why I did just take my hair off for her to dye it? About then I woke up. I guess I didn't want to know the answer. Well I told you it was weird....
Hugs,
Laurie
Queue theme to the twilight zone...
I wish I could interpret dreams...I don't remember many of mine...I used to remember them good or bad but since starting HRT I don't tend to remember the contents...probably got nothing to do with the HRT...
Fancy that!! Nvidia drivers that crashed your computer...I mean really...NVidia driver never do that ::) It has to be about one of the most annoying things that happens. I don't find it happens that often but to me more than once is too often. Hope you managed to get it all sorted
Liz
Oh yes, I got it back to the way it was, by doing a system restore. It might have even straightened some other things out too.
That's what I just had - system restore surgery.
My dear, sweet Laurie, I am so glad to hear that you are experiencing some relief from some of your darkest thoughts. You are so kind for continuing to reach out to Sara and letting her know that she is not alone in this life. This generosity and warmth is what draws so many of us here on Susan's to you. I hope that in the coming months you will be able to see what we see and to say the words "I love you, Laurie" and to mean them. That's a big step, certainly, but I have been following your progress, and I think it's possible. Sending lots of love! :-*
Quote from: p on January 24, 2018, 11:49:02 AM
My dear, sweet Laurie, I am so glad to hear that you are experiencing some relief from some of your darkest thoughts. You are so kind for continuing to reach out to Sara and letting her know that she is not alone in this life. This generosity and warmth is what draws so many of us here on Susan's to you. I hope that in the coming months you will be able to see what we see and to say the words "I love you, Laurie" and to mean them. That's a big step, certainly, but I have been following your progress, and I think it's possible. Sending lots of love! :-*
Patty,
Always my #1 fan. Your words have brought the first tears to run down my cheek in a few days. I welcome the tears because they acknowledge that I have friends that not only care about me, but also touch my heart strings. My inability to accept that caring is still something I have to deal with eventually, but that is my problem and I welcome knowing that you all do care in spite of it.
I don't think I would be here to read them if not for the unwavering help and support of you and so many others here on Susan's Place. I also know that some of you had shared my doubts on making it this long. I was at a point where I was just waiting for spring When life begins anew, bringing new growth and beauty to the mountain forests here in Oregon. I had already decided on how and though not the specific spot (that was to be found during my last drive up into the mountains) The only thing left was the waiting. My plan was complete.
I think I can say now that my plan is at least on hold. As I've mentioned before I felt the pills had started working. I am now sure they are. The first indication was that I wasn't actively thinking of the how. Though I had made my plan that still applies because it was no longer in my thoughts. The next was the where left my thoughts, aging I had my plan but like the how, where wasn't occupying my thoughts. When was slowly slipping away to and involved into banishing the thought of doing it myself. I still had no desire to be here but now it was morphed into just welcoming so other path leading to my demise. An accident, my cancer returning, anything that would do the job. I didn't want to be here. Recently I've been fearful to say anything more than "I am a bit better" because I didn't want to put into words read by you here that read my thread, lest I fall back into my bad thinking. The truth is that I have been feeling a lot better. I think you all have probably noticed it in my more recent posts. I won't say I am happy. I won't say I'm past this depression. I have to say I am still not sure that I want to be here but neither am I sure that I don't any more. I'm more ambivalent about it.
I don't trust this change in me, because I know it is the pills causing these changes. Nothing else has changed. All my issues are still there, because nothing has been done to resolve them. They will likely come back if I were to stop taking the pills so I will continue to take them. Perhaps now my therapist and I can work on those issues. Maybe now I can resolve or at least accept some. Maybe now I will be able to learn to accept myself.
Maybe now I can hope.
Hugs,
Laurie
Laurie,
You need to understand, not just intellectually, but deep down, that we all love you and think about you all the time. We have all been so worried about losing you, and it's so good to see you out helping others and leaving some of those dark thoughts behind.
It was done with a silly twist, but our ketchup joke in Scottsdale was meant to show you that we were all thinking about you. Hang in there, girl. We need you here.
- Stephanie
Couldn't agree more with Steph.
I probably would just be taking the HRT through the GP with no local support whatsoever if it hadn't been for you, Laurie.
You have a purpose in life and you are to touch as many women's souls as possible!!!!!!
all seriousness aside, well not all, Lori has said she likes you based on the way you post. You cannot possibly deny a chance to become friends. She has an infectious smile though so be careful, it may rub off (just not on me, I'm immune)
Quote from: Faith on January 24, 2018, 01:21:29 PM
all seriousness aside, well not all, Lori has said she likes you based on the way you post. You cannot possibly deny a chance to become friends. She has an infectious smile though so be careful, it may rub off (just not on me, I'm immune)
"immune" ain't them one of those alien races????????
Quote from: Cassi on January 24, 2018, 01:32:18 PM
"immune" ain't them one of those alien races????????
careful now, I don't want to get deported ....
Quote from: Laurie on January 24, 2018, 12:44:36 PM
I don't trust this change in me, because I know it is the pills causing these changes. Nothing else has changed. All my issues are still there, because nothing has been done to resolve them. They will likely come back if I were to stop taking the pills so I will continue to take them. Perhaps now my therapist and can work on those issues. Maybe now I can resolve or at least accept some. Maybe now I will be able to learn to accept myself.
Maybe now I can hope.
Hugs,
Laurie
*big hugs*
Sometimes, you need help to part the clouds so the sun can light the path still to walk. Depression isn't a person, Laurie. It's something that happens to a person. It's something that needs to be treated so the person underneath can start to heal and deal with the issues that cause it. And if you can do that without the darkness interfering then so much the better.
I am glad you're feeling better, sweetie. And it's my hope that you can have hope. Keep going, okay? I believe in you. :)
Laurie, in all seriousness, you are one of the ones that reached out and guided me, directly and indirectly. So many lives touched, so many more to reach out to. I don't have the words, I am not gifted. Maybe though, I can bring a smile to your face by putting one on mine.
I'm smiling for you, it is heartfelt and sincere.
(https://i.imgur.com/u2zW0Ck.jpg)
Quote from: Faith on January 24, 2018, 01:56:43 PM
Laurie, in all seriousness, you are one of the ones that reached out and guided me, directly and indirectly. So many lives touched, so many more to reach out to. I don't have the words, I am not gifted. Maybe though, I can bring a smile to your face by putting one on mine.
I'm smiling for you, it is heartfelt and sincere.
(https://i.imgur.com/u2zW0Ck.jpg)
OMG Faith! You're gorgeous! And that white top with your hair is perfect. What a gift to give Laurie and all of us!
- Stephanie
Quote from: Steph2.0 on January 24, 2018, 01:59:55 PM
OMG Faith! You're gorgeous! And that white top with your hair is perfect. What a gift to give Laurie and all of us!
- Stephanie
stop! you'll turn my mascara to mud
Quote from: Faith on January 24, 2018, 02:04:13 PM
stop! you'll turn my mascara to mud
Seriously, girl. When we finally get together we'd better bring our wives along to fight off the men for us!
- Stephanie
Well ladies,
I thank each of you for your thoughts and support. Again I found tears running down my cheek for the second time this morning.
I have to single you out Faith for taking that lovely smiling picture and posting it here along with your words. I too would like to meet you and Lori when I make that road trip out Florida way. I do have to say one thing to you though Faith. That picture you shared is your profile picture if I have to change it for you. That picture is the best one you have shared with us and it is beautiful. Don't believe us though ask Lori and she will agree with us. It is your avatar! I have spoken!
Hugs to all of you,
Laurie
Quote... Again I found tears running down my cheek for the second time this morning
mission accomplished :D
ps: how's that smilie? or should I use the one that I made for you?
Quote... I do have to say one thing to you though Faith. That picture you shared is your profile picture if I have to change it for you. That picture is the best one you have shared with us and it is beautiful. Don't believe us though ask Lori and she will agree with us. It is your avatar! I have spoken!
yes ma'am
Quote from: Faith on January 24, 2018, 03:27:34 PM
mission accomplished :D
ps: how's that smilie? or should I use the one that I made for you?
yes ma'am
Perfect, Love the picture Faith.
Hi Laurie, as usual, I'm late to the party. So much happens while I'm away. If I didn't know better I would take that personally, but I do know better. I'm glad you are feeling better, even if it's only due to the pills. At least the pills clear your head so that you can have the mental clarity to resolve the issues. We all need you. Look at what you made Faith do. She got herself all dolled up and sent you a photo of herself looking incredible and smiling! Laurie, that's on you! You help so many of us, more than you know. Thank you for being you!
I love you sister!
Jayne
Thanks Jayne,
We all got together to cheer you up after you landed and rested a bit. That's what we came up with. It seems to have worked. And EVERYONE Loves Faith's new picture.
Hugs,
Laurie
I do feel better after a little rest and rebooting my brain into whatever timezone I'm in. Im quickly catching up on everyone now, and will post an update on my thread soon.
Jayne
Thanks for letting us in a little bit more into where your thoughts have been and how you are progressing. I am really glad to hear that you now know that the medication is working. Sending you lots of love!!! :-*
As the saying goes "keep taking the tablets"!!!!! We can all see the change in you, welcome back and may the improvements continue, Got that truck fixed yet, I can hear the road trip coming-------
Quote from: davina61 on January 25, 2018, 01:59:57 PM.....Got that truck fixed yet, I can hear the road trip coming-------
FLORIDA! FLORIDA! ;D
You have to stop in Colorado along the way!
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD TRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!!!!
Patti - my thoughts were where none of us should go.
They say it a bad thing to be thinking those thoughts. They say it is worse if you have a plan. Then of course it's too late once you act upon that plan. I had the first two and was just waiting on spring to act. Today my therapist asked if I had had a plan and I said yes. Then he asked if I would tell it to him, and I did. after he wanted me to get rid of my guns and when I said I did have anyone here that I could trust with them (besides it being against the law w/o doing a background check on them first) het gave me 3 gun locks and asked me to give the keys to my sister.
Davina - now see what you've started? You HAD to say road trip didn't you? Too bad there isn't a bridge over that pond you keep talking about.
Calm down you southeastern girls I said I will come visit and it looks like I might hang around long enough to do so. You do realize I have 2 cis-lady friends there and at least three of you to meet. there.
And you too Tia do you realize there are five ladies in the Denver area? I'll have to use your place as a base of operations for a few days....
I am going to be getting out a bit once the pickup is reregistered. If have to take it back to the dealer when a part comes in. This repair round is costing over $1100.00 and I will still need and alignment and the 4wd fixed.
I saw my therapist today. He was please to see I was feeling better. He said today he was reminded of the laurie he met when we started before all this crap came over me. I told him yes I was feeling better because of the pills and that I don't trust it. I also said I'm still not sure I want to be here but then again I'm not sure I don't anymore either. He seemed to think that somehow it made sense. The session was more of a chat session than anything heavy.
I haven't said anything about Sara for a few days. She's still with us. I got her to talk a little the other day and she was a bit angry sounding towards me and the world I think. She still has no hope and only pain of her existence. I know hows she feels having been there myself so recently. All I can do for her is to let her know I'm here for her and keep urging her to seek help.
Hugs girls, and thank you for being my friends.
Laurie
Quote from: Sarah_P on January 25, 2018, 05:55:32 PM
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD TRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!!!!
I saw that Sarah
Laurie,
You are always welcome. You know where we live and we have a room available. You even said the bed was comfortable. You may be required to put together a breakfast now and then.
Tia Anne
Quote from: Laurie on January 25, 2018, 06:32:32 PM
Calm down you southeastern girls I said I will come visit and it looks like I might hang around long enough to do so. You do realize I have 2 cis-lady friends there and at least three of you to meet. there.
I hate to make holes in my ceiling, but I'll install eyebolts if I have to. I wonder where I can rent honey badgers? Might have to substitute alligators.
- Stephanie
Quote from: Steph2.0 on January 25, 2018, 07:35:32 PM
I hate to make holes in my ceiling, but I'll install eyebolts if I have to. I wonder where I can rent honey badgers? Might have to substitute alligators.
- Stephanie
It's Florida, just find someone on flakka or bath salts and put them in a badger costume. Close enough.
Quote from: Laurie on January 25, 2018, 06:33:40 PM
I saw that Sarah
Darn it, I thought I was being subtle. :laugh:
You goofy gals. I just don't know about all of you.
Thank you Tia and Deb. I do know that I am welcome in your home and I am honored to be. I'll see if I can remember to bring Deb's Mom a rock from here when I come. I think a breakfast or two could be arranged provided we can find proper ingredients. I still have a bag with frozen pablano sauce in it for you from my first batch ever.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Roll on January 25, 2018, 09:11:19 PM
It's Florida, just find someone on flakka or bath salts and put them in a badger costume. Close enough.
In this part of Florida, the best you'll find is someone strung out on Metamucil and prune juice who'll gum you to death.
- Stephanie
Quote from: Steph2.0 on January 25, 2018, 10:00:19 PM
In this part of Florida, the best you'll find is someone strung out on Metamucil and prune juice who'll gum you to death.
- Stephanie
Good thing you didn't mention Geritol or I'd be worried.
Hi Laurie, I am very happy to see you starting to enjoy life again. It is such a pleasure to see this renewed appreciation for life in you. You are doing really great, keep up the good work.
I am also very happy to know Sara is still with us. It's good that she is angry, it means she is feeling her pain and hasn't given up yet. Keep being here for her.
Jayne
Quote from: Steph2.0 on January 25, 2018, 10:00:19 PM
In this part of Florida, the best you'll find is someone strung out on Metamucil and prune juice who'll gum you to death.
- Stephanie
stay out of my cabinet
Hi Folks,
I just want you all to know I am heading to the coast to visit with Tessa for a couple of nights. I should be on at least a little bit so I want you all to behave while I am gone.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on January 27, 2018, 04:40:28 PM
Hi Folks,
I just want you all to know I am heading to the coast to visit with Tessa for a couple of nights. I should be on at least a little bit so I want you all to behave while I am gone.
Hugs,
Laurie
Okay, have a safe and fun trip.
Quote from: Faith on January 26, 2018, 06:56:34 AM
stay out of my cabinet
And leave my Geritol alone too!
Quote from: Laurie on January 27, 2018, 04:40:28 PM
Hi Folks,
I just want you all to know I am heading to the coast to visit with Tessa for a couple of nights. I should be on at least a little bit so I want you all to behave while I am gone.
Hugs,
Laurie
Have a nice break Laurie,
And you do know telling us to behave while you're gone is an invitation for us all to do exactly the opposite. ;D
Dip your toes in the sea for me, I want pictures to make sure that you have.
Have a wonderful time :D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Party in Laurie's thread!!
WOOOOOOOooooooooo!!!!
Quote from: Faith on January 27, 2018, 06:20:44 PM
Party in Laurie's thread!!
WOOOOOOOooooooooo!!!!
I'll bring the sick beats, yo.
Quote from: Laurie on January 27, 2018, 04:40:28 PM
Hi Folks,
I just want you all to know I am heading to the coast to visit with Tessa for a couple of nights. I should be on at least a little bit so I want you all to behave while I am gone.
Hugs,
Laurie
Wooohoooo! It a slap free zone! Let's party!
Ahem..... I mean have a great time Laurie. Don't worry about us. We are all angels! [emoji56][emoji56][emoji56][emoji56][emoji56][emoji56]
Jayne
I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You got this!!!
Take deep breaths and remind yourself you're taking a step towards what you want.
This is going to help you and I know it!
Quote from: Faith on January 27, 2018, 06:20:44 PM
Party in Laurie's thread!!
WOOOOOOOooooooooo!!!!
Woo!!!
OK, now to figure out how to tepee a discussion thread....
Quote from: Sarah_P on January 28, 2018, 01:33:12 AM
Woo!!!
OK, now to figure out how to tepee a discussion thread....
Alright you hooligans settle down
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Have a good trip, when I went to Florida it was cold and wet for the last few days so remember that thick coat!!!!! (it was march) On the Sara front she text me about visiting when the weathers better so lets hope its warmer soon.
That is encouraging about Sara Davina. She's back to not talking with me.
I'm not heading to Florida yet I am out very near the coast of Oregon visiting Tessa. Will head back home tomorrow.
Pleasant journey
Quote from: markie on January 28, 2018, 12:41:37 PM
Pleasant journey
Glad you're doing better. Guess my Mummy's gone :)
Quote from: markie on January 28, 2018, 12:41:37 PM
Pleasant journey
Thank you Markie. I hope you are doing good running wild down there.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
I have returned home again after partaking of the delightful company of the lovely and funny Tessa at her private resort in northwest Oregon. The weather even held off yesterday for us to be out and about. We partook of the Astoria cuisine both Saturday and Sunday and Both establishments served good meals. I enjoyed the evening talks we had and the time we spent together.
I do have proof that i was visiting Tessa, so there :-P
Hugs,
Laurie
(https://i.imgur.com/0H4VcD2.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/eMstfnV.jpg)
Quote from: Laurie on January 29, 2018, 06:03:20 PM
I have returned home again after partaking of the delightful company of the lovely and funny Tessa at her private resort in northwest Oregon. The weather even held off yesterday for us to be out and about. We partook of the Astoria cuisine both Saturday and Sunday and Both establishments served good meals. I enjoyed the evening talks we had and the time we spent together.
I do have proof that i was visiting Tessa, so there :-P
Hugs,
Laurie
(https://i.imgur.com/0H4VcD2.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/eMstfnV.jpg)
Wow, what sunny smiles!!
Quote from: Laurie on January 29, 2018, 06:03:20 PM
I have returned home again after partaking of the delightful company of the lovely and funny Tessa at her private resort in northwest Oregon. The weather even held off yesterday for us to be out and about. We partook of the Astoria cuisine both Saturday and Sunday and Both establishments served good meals. I enjoyed the evening talks we had and the time we spent together.
I do have proof that i was visiting Tessa, so there :-P
Hugs,
Laurie
Wow Laurie! I had to take a double take - you definitely need to crop and post this picture of you as your avatar - you look soooo young and happy!
(https://i.imgur.com/0H4VcD2.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/eMstfnV.jpg)
Yay! Pics, so it did happen. You both look great: love those smiles! I am glad you had a good time.
Wow - great photos both of you, and the smiles! Laurie I am so glad you ventured over to Tessa's.
Sounds like you had a great time. Look at those smiles!!
When you visit Tessa you never know what you are going to be doing. This time I went to a town? city? something steering committee meeting which she co-chairs (I think) Any the mayor is sitting right over there---> not 2 chairs from me and 2 people from some towns across the bridge in Washington gave a presentation on how this administration's immigration policies of rounding up only criminal undocumented immigrants is quietly ripping families apart by watching and picking up people that have done nothing except entering the country illegally. Some have been here for years as productive members of the communities. They told of a sheriff that claimed he knew nothing of ICEs activities and there was a phone call from agents checking in to announce their being in the area and complaining to the dispatcher about the sheriff's claim that they never checked in with his office. So quietly people are being picked up and disappearing into the system being assigned a number that has to be used to find them. These people just disappear and are deported quietly and no one knows who or where they went.
On another note I had to return today because I had and meet up to make tonight. I can attest that Lucy Ross is a real person and not just a user name. I met her tonight for coffee and we chatted for over 2 hours. She is now the closest member of Susan's place to me that I have now met. Her and I share the same electrologist, Christina. Lucy is the 15th member of Susan's Place members I have met so far. The number keeps growing. I can think of several more I have on my list to see and I am sure there are some not yet on that list. Who know who or when that may happen but I think some may be soon.
Thanks for the nice comments folks and some are on my other list. I think those hooligans know who they are.
Hugs
Laurie
No. 1 hooligan here! [emoji56]
Glad you had a good trip, Laurie. You are both sporting some really nice smiles there. It's really great to see you smiling, Laurie. You have now put a smile on my face.
Now.....back to hooligan duties. [emoji83]
Jayne
Quote from: Jayne01 on January 30, 2018, 01:30:55 AM
No. 1 hooligan here! [emoji56]
Glad you had a good trip, Laurie. You are both sporting some really nice smiles there. It's really great to see you smiling, Laurie. You have now put a smile on my face.
Now.....back to hooligan duties. [emoji83]
Jayne
You do know that smiles are contagious? I'm home now and have my eye on you so behave.
Quote from: Laurie on January 29, 2018, 06:03:20 PM
I have returned home again after partaking of the delightful company of the lovely and funny Tessa at her private resort in northwest Oregon. The weather even held off yesterday for us to be out and about. We partook of the Astoria cuisine both Saturday and Sunday and Both establishments served good meals. I enjoyed the evening talks we had and the time we spent together.
I do have proof that i was visiting Tessa, so there :-P
Hugs,
Laurie
Love the pic sis!
(https://i.imgur.com/0H4VcD2.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/eMstfnV.jpg)
Quote from: Laurie on January 30, 2018, 01:36:11 AM
I'm home now and have my eye on you so behave.
I am behaving.........badly!!! [emoji56][emoji56][emoji56][emoji56][emoji56]
Well what a pretty picture you two make. :) Glad to here you had a lovely time Laurie, and any evidence of a party in your thread while you're gone is purely circumstantial.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Laurie on January 30, 2018, 12:35:31 AM
I can think of several more I have on my list to see and I am sure there are some not yet on that list. Who know who or when that may happen but I think some may be soon.
Squeeeeeeeeee?
QuoteThanks for the nice comments folks and some are on my other list. I think those hooligans know who they are.
Oooo! Am I a hool again?
S(t)e<p>h[a]n{i}e
Quote from: Laurie on January 29, 2018, 06:03:20 PM
I have returned home again after partaking of the delightful company of the lovely and funny Tessa at her private resort in northwest Oregon. The weather even held off yesterday for us to be out and about. We partook of the Astoria cuisine both Saturday and Sunday and Both establishments served good meals. I enjoyed the evening talks we had and the time we spent together.
I do have proof that i was visiting Tessa, so there :-P
Hugs,
Laurie
(https://i.imgur.com/0H4VcD2.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/eMstfnV.jpg)
Very nice!
Don't we love our Laurie tho! Some of you may not know of her forensic computer ability but you should be aware that she may be capable of photo shopping any of us into her life at a moments notice! Really, we did have fun running around, eating too well, hanging out and being politically active.
With Laurie as our "anchor baby" I propose y'all consider a summer time camp out here at my Skipanon River Retreat. I'm a mile from Sunset Beach and have private acreage with over a mile of trails. Beach bonfire anyone? Consider June when we do Astoria Pride or September when kids go back to school and it is on the dry side of our usually drippy rainforest climate. This way Laurie may not have to put another 10,000 miles on that ole Chevy PU.? Let's keep Laurie on line and under 100,000 annual miles ;D
Love ya darlings.
Quote from: Steph2.0 on January 30, 2018, 05:52:06 AM
Squeeeeeeeeee?
Oooo! Am I a hool again?
S(t)e<p>h[a]n{i}e
Maybe and yes (((Ste)p)(h)ani)e
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Quote from: Tessa James on January 30, 2018, 02:06:47 PM
Don't we love our Laurie tho! Some of you may not know of her forensic computer ability but you should be aware that she may be capable of photo shopping any of us into her life at a moments notice! Really, we did have fun running around, eating too well, hanging out and being politically active.
With Laurie as our "anchor baby" I propose y'all consider a summer time camp out here at my Skipanon River Retreat. I'm a mile from Sunset Beach and have private acreage with over a mile of trails. Beach bonfire anyone? Consider June when we do Astoria Pride or September when kids go back to school and it is on the dry side of our usually drippy rainforest climate. This way Laurie may not have to put another 10,000 miles on that ole Chevy PU.? Let's keep Laurie on line and under 100,000 annual miles ;D
Love ya darlings.
I can tell you all that Tessa's offer to get together at her place is a genuine offer. There are many places to pitch a tent and it is pretty quiet there. You may have to share the grounds with dear or elk that are known to wander through. And you are on your own if you want to eat, so bring your own hotdogs and hamburgers or money to partake of the local cuisine.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on January 30, 2018, 03:02:19 PM
I can tell you all that Tessa's offer to get together at her place is a genuine offer. There are many places to pitch a tent and it is pretty quiet there. You may have to share the grounds with dear or elk that are known to wander through. And you are on your own if you want to eat, so bring your own hotdogs and hamburgers or money to partake of the local cuisine.
Hugs,
Laurie
She knows the only good thing I make for dinner is reservations! She's right about hotdogs and hamburgers too. Along with pizza they form a perfect base for a food pyramid ;)
Quote from: Tessa James on January 30, 2018, 02:06:47 PM
With Laurie as our "anchor baby" I propose y'all consider a summer time camp out here at my Skipanon River Retreat. I'm a mile from Sunset Beach and have private acreage with over a mile of trails. Beach bonfire anyone? Consider June when we do Astoria Pride or September when kids go back to school and it is on the dry side of our usually drippy rainforest climate.
June 10th is an event for a friend here that I don't want to miss, but other than that I'm quite able to head up there. My Prius makes a dandy one person camper (really). It's about a 12 hour run, so I might overnight in the Crescent City area on the way from the SF Bay Area.
I'll have to remember to pack the Honey Badger Chow this time.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I think I have Laurie's Room all cleaned up and ready. Lucky #4!
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180131/44e5a7d5dd9cbd02c49f79c330e4f4b6.jpg)
Plenty of space for when you visit!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote from: Michelle_P on January 30, 2018, 06:45:01 PM
I think I have Laurie's Room all cleaned up and ready. Lucky #4!
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180131/44e5a7d5dd9cbd02c49f79c330e4f4b6.jpg)
Plenty of space for when you visit!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
But but but You said there was a bed....
Quote from: Laurie on January 30, 2018, 06:52:48 PM
But but but You said there was a bed....
Heh...
That's actually the storage unit for the condo. I finally got possession today, and it gets all the boxes of stuff I don't use very often that are currently parked in the second bedroom.
Quote from: Michelle_P on January 30, 2018, 09:02:56 PM
Heh...
That's actually the storage unit for the condo. I finally got possession today, and it gets all the boxes of stuff I don't use very often that are currently parked in the second bedroom.
Whew Well as long as you use that cage for the boxes.... I guess it'll be okay. But If I understand you right my room is still not ready. Oh I suppose your going to use the doctor's orders excuse or some such nonsense.
We'll see how you explain when I do show up on your doorstep.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on January 30, 2018, 06:52:48 PM
But but but You said there was a bed....
Well at least your not number 5.
Laurie, It looks like it was a fun trip. By the smile it looks like you had a great time. Keep it up, a smile looks good on you. Me, on the other hand, it looks pasted on ...
see:
(https://i.imgur.com/fcau2Iu.jpg)
Faith Hun,
Your smile looks just as good as mine and Tessa's if not better for the simple fact that you don't do it very often. I am sure Lori is very familiar with your smile and wishes you would do it more. You also read all the compliments from us here when you posted that lovely picture of you with that beautiful smile you claim is for me. You have a fine smile girl.
One thing you learn from meeting Tessa, You are going to enjoy your time with her. That smile on her face is almost a fixture. Go anywhere with her and she is greeting and hugging people everywhere she goes. She is involved with a lot of things in her area and it seems everyone knows and is friends with her. There is no hiding in her shadow either. Oh no, that isn't allowed. She makes a point of introducing you to anyone she stops to chat with. If you aren't careful she might even have you walking in the front of a parade. Yes, it did happen and I was still new to being out as Laurie at the time. What ever you think about Tessa and her boisterousness, you have to love her.
Quote... smile you claim is for me ...
What do you mean by 'claim' >:( it was for you, deal with it. .. <insert humor stamp here>
By your reply I take it that my mood was not masked by my weak humor attempts .. I even used your stamp.
Tessa? Well, I'd have to meet her first. Kidnap her and drag her to Florida with you, when you come down.
Hey Faith, I get to Florida annually and traveling with Laurie would be a gas...lots of it! Of course she is a bare bones traveler while I need all the cushy comforts of a bed and morning breakfast. I may get down South this March to visit with family and always happy to meet more friends along our shared journey.
Laurie thanks for the lovely comments and making me blush. I love you too!
Michelle, come on up girl! We love our californicators here in orygun. Yes, be prepared for witless barbarism and clearcuts while we keep on with the make overs.....
Community is everything to me and we have lots of friends to yet meet.
Quote from: Laurie on January 30, 2018, 12:35:31 AM
..... The number keeps growing. I can think of several more I have on my list to see and I am sure there are some not yet on that list. Who know who or when that may happen but I think some may be soon.
Thanks for the nice comments folks and some are on my other list. I think those hooligans know who they are.
Hugs
Laurie
Always welcome here...always a bed, food(lots of Vegemite on toast) and coffee...none of that American rubbish either....proper coffee LOL Oh yeah we may have to teach you how to speak Australian...its pretty simple really that even you could manage it ;)
Seriously glad your little trip and night out went well. I see both those ladies survived the "Laurie experience" more kudos to them LOL
Take care
Liz
Quote from: Michelle_P on January 30, 2018, 06:45:01 PM
I think I have Laurie's Room all cleaned up and ready. Lucky #4!
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180131/44e5a7d5dd9cbd02c49f79c330e4f4b6.jpg)
Plenty of space for when you visit!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
OMG a Holiday Inn!!
Where's the bar?
So funny
LOL
Quote from: JulieOnHerWay on February 01, 2018, 12:19:01 AM
OMG a Holiday Inn!!
Where's the bar?
So funny
LOL
It's a Howard Johnson's.
We'll leave the light on for ya!
I have stayed in a カプセルホテル (capsule hotel (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capsule_hotel)) in Tokyo about the size of the storage cage Michelle has reserved for Laurie - I found it a good inexpensive option for a quick overnight. Some businesspeople use these when they party a bit late with co-workers and have a long distance commute. I found it clean and surprisingly quiet, other than I could hear a faint bit of snoring as several dozen sleep pods are packed into each area. The units are well insulated and have a nicely designed console for controlling everything, which is good because you don't have room to stand up inside the pod. Not for the claustrophobic, but about 1/3 the cost of a similar quality full size hotel room in Japan. The one I used was segregated by gender - maybe I'll try one again next time I'm in Japan and can stay in the ladies' area.
(https://www.dropbox.com/s/linmr5llkomvuob/600px-CapsuleHotel.jpg?raw=1)
Quote from: Tessa James on January 30, 2018, 02:06:47 PM
Don't we love our Laurie tho! Some of you may not know of her forensic computer ability but you should be aware that she may be capable of photo shopping any of us into her life at a moments notice! Really, we did have fun running around, eating too well, hanging out and being politically active.
With Laurie as our "anchor baby" I propose y'all consider a summer time camp out here at my Skipanon River Retreat. I'm a mile from Sunset Beach and have private acreage with over a mile of trails. Beach bonfire anyone? Consider June when we do Astoria Pride or September when kids go back to school and it is on the dry side of our usually drippy rainforest climate. This way Laurie may not have to put another 10,000 miles on that ole Chevy PU.? Let's keep Laurie on line and under 100,000 annual miles ;D
Love ya darlings.
This sounds like fun! Copenhagen may have to be cancelled.
Quote from: Kendra on February 01, 2018, 09:42:53 AM
We'll leave the light on for ya!
I have stayed in a カプセルホテル (capsule hotel (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capsule_hotel)) in Tokyo about the size of the storage cage Michelle has reserved for Laurie - I found it a good inexpensive option for a quick overnight. Some businesspeople use these when they party a bit late with co-workers and have a long distance commute. I found it clean and surprisingly quiet, other than I could hear a faint bit of snoring as several dozen sleep pods are packed into each area. The units are well insulated and have a nicely designed console for controlling everything, which is good because you don't have room to stand up inside the pod. Not for the claustrophobic, but about 1/3 the cost of a similar quality full size hotel room in Japan. The one I used was segregated by gender - maybe I'll try one again next time I'm in Japan and can stay in the ladies' area.
Hey girlfriend,
Those look a little more comfy than what Michelle has ready for me but at least I can stand up at Michelle's. I'll need to brush up on my lock picking skills though.
And what the heck are you doing getting stuck in the snow in eastern Washington? I thought you were "Resting" at Bethanyz and Saha's I am going to have to have a talk with them.... Especially that Saha...
Hugs,
Laurie
Oh god, the Japanese space pod hotels. Those things are my greatest nightmares come to life.
Quote from: Kendra on February 01, 2018, 09:42:53 AM
(https://www.dropbox.com/s/linmr5llkomvuob/600px-CapsuleHotel.jpg?raw=1)
Open the pod bay doors, HAL!
Quote from: Kendra on February 01, 2018, 09:42:53 AM
I have stayed in a カプセルホテル (capsule hotel (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capsule_hotel)) in Tokyo
I've always wondered what it was like to sleep in one of those. I'm not really claustrophobic, but I'm not sure I could take being in that tiny confined space all night.
Quote from: KathyLauren on February 01, 2018, 02:34:05 PM
Open the pod bay doors, HAL!
Wooooooooooooooooooo, A CAT Scan without the Scan :(
Quote from: Kendra on February 01, 2018, 09:42:53 AM
We'll leave the light on for ya!
I have stayed in a カプセルホテル (capsule hotel (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capsule_hotel)) in Tokyo about the size of the storage cage Michelle has reserved for Laurie - I found it a good inexpensive option for a quick overnight. Some businesspeople use these when they party a bit late with co-workers and have a long distance commute. I found it clean and surprisingly quiet, other than I could hear a faint bit of snoring as several dozen sleep pods are packed into each area. The units are well insulated and have a nicely designed console for controlling everything, which is good because you don't have room to stand up inside the pod. Not for the claustrophobic, but about 1/3 the cost of a similar quality full size hotel room in Japan. The one I used was segregated by gender - maybe I'll try one again next time I'm in Japan and can stay in the ladies' area.
(https://www.dropbox.com/s/linmr5llkomvuob/600px-CapsuleHotel.jpg?raw=1)
Best Western
I am thinking March.
Hi folks,
I was thinking today (yes, I know that can be dangerous) When I was at Tessa's I told her I couldn't understand why so many of you care about me. I told her, I am nothing special. I'm not a particularly smart person. I don't have words of wisdom. Okay, I was a good computer repairman when I was working. Pretty good but that was all. I said all I do is try to find something in the posts I read that I can relate to and I talk about how I can relate to it. I talk about myself. By doing so I make a connection with the person that wrote it and that lets them know that they are not alone. She responded with a few points in my favor and one of those I have heard several times from some of you here. That one was that I am honest about what I say.
That is what I was thinking about today, my being honest. And I think that is true, I do try to be as honest as I can. Ever since I began this journey of mine I have been honest with virtually everyone about every thing. My doctors, my friends, my family, and all of you here. The good and the bad of who I am are all honestly portrayed here.
Why is this so important to me? Because that guy I was could never be this honest. Almost all my life I have been dishonest about who I am. Lying even to myself at times. I had a deep dark secret I could tell almost no one all my life. Is it any wonder I grew up hating myself? I always had very few friends and none of them could know so I lied. I lived a lie. I hated the thought of being a hypocrite and yet I lived as one. For 64 years I lived a lie. I was dishonest.
Today I am not.
Laurie, you spend most every day trying to help others. Not to maintain a public image, or for some form of personal gain, and not even just to make yourself feel better because you did something good. It is selflessness, pure and simple, a true desire to help, and it is so incredibly rare in today's world. Those of us who show up on this forum... As you well know, we're lost, scared, alone... To have you (and others here as well to be sure) reach out... to relate... to show people kindness when they need it most. I have zero doubt that at some point you have saved someone's life, whether you know it or not.
Laurie,
Just a line to let you know I am still out here, keeping tabs on you. What I am seeing does my heart good.
Keep it up girl,
Stephanie
You are wonderfully honest, and like Ellie said, you've gone out of your way to help so many of us here. You inspire me & others to want to reach out and help others (even though I don't always have the words to say).
You reached your hands out to me, and I'm reaching mine out to you. You know what that means? HUG TIME!!!!
:icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug:
Quote from: Laurie on February 01, 2018, 09:47:39 PM
Hi folks,
I was thinking today (yes, I know that can be dangerous) When I was at Tessa's I told her I couldn't understand why so many of you care about me. I told her, I am nothing special. I'm not a particularly smart person. I don't have words of wisdom. Okay, I was a good computer repairman when I was working. Pretty good but that was all. I said all I do is try to find something in the posts I read that I can relate to and I talk about how I can relate to it. I talk about myself. By doing so I make a connection with the person that wrote it and that lets them know that they are not alone. She responded with a few points in my favor and one of those I have heard several times from some of you here. That one was that I am honest about what I say.
That is what I was thinking about today, my being honest. And I think that is true, I do try to be as honest as I can. Ever since I began this journey of mine I have been honest with virtually everyone about every thing. My doctors, my friends, my family, and all of you here. The good and the bad of who I am are all honestly portrayed here.
Why is this so important to me? Because that guy I was could never be this honest. Almost all my life I have been dishonest about who I am. Lying even to myself at times. I had a deep dark secret I could tell almost no one all my life. Is it any wonder I grew up hating myself? I always had very few friends and none of them could know so I lied. I lived a lie. I hated the thought of being a hypocrite and yet I lived as one. For 64 years I lived a lie. I was dishonest.
Today I am not.
Hey sis, you pointed out a quality in you that is beyond admirable, your honesty. Not being able to tell the truth can hurt your soul. The longer you can't, the harder the hurt. Your soul is healing from the love you receive from your honesty. It's time you look at yourself as others see you. Kind, warm, caring......and honest!
Quote from: Laurie on February 01, 2018, 09:47:39 PM
Hi folks,
I was thinking today (yes, I know that can be dangerous) When I was at Tessa's I told her I couldn't understand why so many of you care about me.
SLAP!!!
You know I wasn't going to let that one slide, I couldn't resist. But this post as a whole is a (((HUG))) moment rather than a slap. I just wanted you to know that it's really me here and not some imposter!
Quote
I told her, I am nothing special. I'm not a particularly smart person. I don't have words of wisdom. Okay, I was a good computer repairman when I was working. Pretty good but that was all. I said all I do is try to find something in the posts I read that I can relate to and I talk about how I can relate to it. I talk about myself. By doing so I make a connection with the person that wrote it and that lets them know that they are not alone. She responded with a few points in my favor and one of those I have heard several times from some of you here. That one was that I am honest about what I say.
That is what I was thinking about today, my being honest. And I think that is true, I do try to be as honest as I can. Ever since I began this journey of mine I have been honest with virtually everyone about every thing. My doctors, my friends, my family, and all of you here. The good and the bad of who I am are all honestly portrayed here.
Why is this so important to me? Because that guy I was could never be this honest. Almost all my life I have been dishonest about who I am. Lying even to myself at times. I had a deep dark secret I could tell almost no one all my life. Is it any wonder I grew up hating myself? I always had very few friends and none of them could know so I lied. I lived a lie. I hated the thought of being a hypocrite and yet I lived as one. For 64 years I lived a lie. I was dishonest.
Today I am not.
Laurie, you care about others. You put other people's needs ahead of your own. You always give an honest opinion, even if the recipient doesn't want to hear it at the time. These are qualities of a good friend, a VERY good friend. I have the greatest respect for you. If you have something to say which I don't like and don't want to hear, I stop and listen anyway. It is because I know you care and tough love is probably what I needed. Don't ever change who you are, EVER!!!! You are perfect.
I am starting to see cracks in your armour. You are seeing glimpses of the Laurie the rest of us have been seeing all along. If you are not careful, one of these days you might find yourself looking in a mirror saying "Laurie, I love you".
You are also totally adorable when you when you try to make threats when we misbehave. (Is my halo bent? [emoji56]) you don't frighten me, it's like when a cute puppy barks at you, it's adorable!!!) Maybe if I was within range of your truck, I would feel different. Being on an island surrounded by lots of ocean makes me brave. [emoji51]
I love you, sister!
(((((HUG)))))
Jayne
Quote from: Laurie on February 01, 2018, 09:47:39 PM
Hi folks,
I was thinking today (yes, I know that can be dangerous) When I was at Tessa's I told her I couldn't understand why so many of you care about me. I told her, I am nothing special. I'm not a particularly smart person. I don't have words of wisdom. Okay, I was a good computer repairman when I was working. Pretty good but that was all. I said all I do is try to find something in the posts I read that I can relate to and I talk about how I can relate to it. I talk about myself. By doing so I make a connection with the person that wrote it and that lets them know that they are not alone. She responded with a few points in my favor and one of those I have heard several times from some of you here. That one was that I am honest about what I say.
That is what I was thinking about today, my being honest. And I think that is true, I do try to be as honest as I can. Ever since I began this journey of mine I have been honest with virtually everyone about every thing. My doctors, my friends, my family, and all of you here. The good and the bad of who I am are all honestly portrayed here.
Why is this so important to me? Because that guy I was could never be this honest. Almost all my life I have been dishonest about who I am. Lying even to myself at times. I had a deep dark secret I could tell almost no one all my life. Is it any wonder I grew up hating myself? I always had very few friends and none of them could know so I lied. I lived a lie. I hated the thought of being a hypocrite and yet I lived as one. For 64 years I lived a lie. I was dishonest.
Today I am not.
Who's on who's head now Laurie ;D I just finished typing the need to be honest, pop over here and you got first dibs on it ;D I'm going to have to double layer my aluminium hat from now on ;D
You are right though, we are not politicians here. If ever there was a place for honesty this is the place. How ever will we learn from each other and support each other if we are anything else than honest. Honestly, that's about as honest as I can say it, honest it is. That and you're just good company ;D
peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Laurie on February 01, 2018, 09:47:39 PM
I am nothing special. I'm not a particularly smart person. I don't have words of wisdom. Okay, I was a good computer repairman when I was working. Pretty good but that was all. I said all I do is try to find something in the posts I read that I can relate to and I talk about how I can relate to it. I talk about myself. By doing so I make a connection with the person that wrote it and that lets them know that they are not alone.
A lot of people base things like that on what they do. To try and quantify what makes them worth something in someone else's eyes. It's human nature. And in doing that, we almost always come away feeling like we're not good enough. There are always people who do things better, or who have done or said things that, to us, are way more deserving.
But it isn't about that. It's not what you do which makes you special. It's who you are. It's who you are inside. Is it honesty? Maybe. I guess that's a part of it. For me what makes someone special is their vulnerability. Which may seem like a very odd thing to say. But as people we hide a lot behind a facade of machismo, or stoicism, or silence. What we show to the world is only a portion of who we are as a person. Not just what we say, but what we don't say. Not just how we act, but how we don't act.
I don't think it's as much honesty as it is not being afraid to feel vulnerable. To not wall everything off which makes you scared, or hurt, or feel like you could use someone just to hold your hand and tell you it's going to be okay. A lot of people will say it's a sign of weakness to reach out for help with something but it isn't. It's the opposite. It's a sign of strength. It's a sign of knowing that you can't do everything by yourself. Of knowing that most people are dark and light. I think what makes people special is their capacity to feel. To experience emotions. Be those positive, negative, or somewhere in between.
And that's what I get from you, Laurie. And so many others here. It's not so much coming out of a shell as it is having the numbness wear off from a life. Waking up for the first time, I suppose. Allowing the sentience to actually be, instead of smothering it in a concrete tomb of denial and fear. It's that spark inside everyone which makes them special. And when you allow others to see that... that's why we care about you. :) *hugs*
Laurie,
I like you, I love you! I don't need no stinkin words. ;D
Moni
Quote from: sterusjon on February 01, 2018, 10:18:06 PM
Laurie,
Just a line to let you know I am still out here, keeping tabs on you. What I am seeing does my heart good.
Keep it up girl,
Stephanie
Hi Stephanie,
I needed to single you out for a thank you simply because you are watching and you seldom post. I know that you are out there, worried about me. You know some of what I am going through because you have been in my shoes yourself. You know that part of my pain and my depression. I thank you for being there for me Stephanie.
We don't hear from you much and that is our loss because Hun, you are one of us, you care about others and you reach out to others who you think you may be able to help. I know you have watched over me since that first post I made about my being rejected by my daughter. 4 of your last 5 posts have been to me, reaching out to let me know you are there and doing what you can to encourage me at times I needed support. I would like to extend my hand to you Hun, and invite you to come take a more active part in the conversations here. I'm sure my thread isn't all that you read and think you could help support some of the others here too. Perhaps we can also be of help to you. Won't you come join us?
Hugs,
Laurie
Hi Folks,
I thought a little about whether to post my honesty thoughts or not. I decided to go ahead with it because it was a revelation to me and I wanted to share it. I saw it as a liberating thought that I don't have to lie about who I am anymore. I cannot see how that isn't important. After all it is another step in accepting who I am and another away from the self hate I've lived with for so long. It's progress, not a big step but a step never the less.
Thank you all for expressing what you see in me. It is easy to over look or dismiss what others say about you when you don't like yourself. As they say we are our own worst enemies and that is so true. Each of you have seen something in me you like. I will not argue with them, instead I will just thank you for seeing them and try to work on seeing and believing them myself. Who knows, perhaps when I can I'll even be able to like myself. The person you all see seems to be someone I would like if I could get to know her like you all do.
Thank you all.
Oh btw I will be getting in my pickup again tomorrow. This time I'm going a little further away to be fed what I understand will be a delicious dinner cooked by a newer friend. I decided to take BethanyZ's offer to cook a meal for me. I will be visiting Beth and Saha for dinner and even making use of their couch for the night so we can enjoy more time together.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot Kendra is still staying with them so she will be there too. Don't worry if she isn't getting her rest, I May just March her down stairs and tuck her into bed myself. How would that be for a February highlight? lol
Hugs,
Laurie
P.S Hi Mawwwwnie, I do know those things and no you don't need words. Love ya Hon.
Quote from: Laurie on February 03, 2018, 09:13:11 PM
Hi Folks,
I thought a little about whether to post my honesty thoughts or not. I decided to go ahead with it because it was a revelation to me and I wanted to share it. I saw it as a liberating thought that I don't have to lie about who I am anymore. I cannot see how that isn't important. After all it is another step in accepting who I am and another away from the self hate I've lived with for so long. It's progress, not a big step but a step never the less.
Thank you all for expressing what you see in me. It is easy to over look or dismiss what others say about you when you don't like yourself. As they say we are our own worst enemies and that is so true. Each of you have seen something in me you like. I will not argue with them, instead I will just thank you for seeing them and try to work on seeing and believing them myself. Who knows, perhaps when I can I'll even be able to like myself. The person you all see seems to be someone I would like if I could get to know her like you all do.
Thank you all.
Oh btw I will be getting in my pickup again tomorrow. This time I'm going a little further away to be fed what I understand will be a delicious dinner cooked by a newer friend. I decided to take BethanyZ's offer to cook a meal for me. I will be visiting Beth and Saha for dinner and even making use of their couch for the night so we can enjoy more time together.
Oh yeah I almost forgot Kendra is still staying with them so she will be there too. Don't worry if she isn't getting her rest, I May just March her down stairs and tuck her into bed myself. How would that be for a February highlight? lol
Hugs,
Laurie
P.S Hi Mawwwwnie, I do know those things and no you don't need words. Love ya Hon.
Laurie, I think you are finally getting it! Whatever it is you have started doing lately, keep doing it.
You rock sister!
(((((HUG)))))
Jayne
Quote from: Laurie on February 03, 2018, 09:13:11 PM
> Oh btw I will be getting in my pickup again tomorrow. This time I'm going a little further away to be fed what I understand will be a delicious dinner cooked by a newer friend. I decided to take BethanyZ's offer to cook a meal for me. I will be visiting Beth and Saha for dinner and even making use of their couch for the night so we can enjoy more time together.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot Kendra is still staying with them so she will be there too. Don't worry if she isn't getting her rest, I May just March her down stairs and tuck her into bed myself. How would that be for a February highlight? lol
Yaaayyyy!!
Quote from: Jayne01 on February 03, 2018, 11:51:46 PM
Laurie, I think you are finally getting it! Whatever it is you have started doing lately, keep doing it.
You rock sister!
(((((HUG)))))
Jayne
What she said! :)
Quote from: Jayne01 on February 03, 2018, 11:51:46 PM
Laurie, I think you are finally getting it! Whatever it is you have started doing lately, keep doing it.
You rock sister!
(((((HUG)))))
Jayne
Quote from: Kendra on February 04, 2018, 02:05:13 AM
Yaaayyyy!!
Quote from: KathyLauren on February 04, 2018, 08:48:01 AM
What she said! :)
can I slap her anyway? she keeps threatening me.
Quote from: Faith on February 04, 2018, 08:52:29 AM
can I slap her anyway? she keeps threatening me.
Sure you can Faith, You can smack Jayne any time you feel it is appropriate.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on February 04, 2018, 11:39:33 AM
Sure you can Faith, You can smack Jayne any time you feel it is appropriate.
Hugs,
Laurie
Hey.....what did I do? I am an angel! I really am [emoji56][emoji56][emoji56][emoji56]
Jayne
Quote from: Jayne01 on February 04, 2018, 11:50:07 AM
Hey.....what did I do? I am an angel! I really am [emoji56][emoji56][emoji56][emoji56]
Jayne
Sorry Jayne. The way I see it if she's slapping you then she's not slapping me. Not that I ever need it.
Quote from: Laurie on February 04, 2018, 11:54:19 AM
Sorry Jayne. The way I see it if she's slapping you then she's not slapping me. Not that I ever need it.
You just painted a picture in my mind of the three stooges portrayed by Laurie, Faith and Jayne. Faith slaps me, I slap you, you slap Faith.....repeat!
Jayne
Jayne is safe. Her current avatar is covered with several large helmets surrounded by a moat.
Quote from: Kendra on February 04, 2018, 12:53:45 PM
Jayne is safe. Her current avatar is covered with several large helmets surrounded by a moat.
Pft. I know my landmarks, and that is clearly the ancient wind catchers of Dubai.
Give Kendra a hug from me please, so girl off in that truck again. Enjoy it looks like its bringing the Laurie out, have fun XXX
Quote from: Kendra on February 04, 2018, 12:53:45 PM
Jayne is safe. Her current avatar is covered with several large helmets surrounded by a moat.
I'm not so sure I think Laurie's truck is a 'trans'former. :D
Hi Laurie, have a wonderful time, It's lovely to see you getting out and about. I always like to hear about your adventures. :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Have a great time! Yes, give Kendra a hug for all of us (that didn't go see her already)!
Wow, a girl has one busy week and you go on not one but two roadtrips! Laurie, it is so wonderful to read your recent posts. I am so, so happy and wish you safe travels and lots of fun on your trip! All my love!!! :-*
Hi folks and thank you all for the nice posts since my last update.
Patti Hun #1 fan, I have to correct you on these last two outings. They weren't road trips, They were just down the street a little ways. Both were under 200 miles. My next outing isn't a road trip either, though it is down the road a piece.
I am home from visiting with Beth and Saha for a delicious dinner of Steel head trout baked in a sauce of tomatoes, sweet onion, and capers, oregano, garlic, salt and pepper. Yellow rice and a garden salad complimented the fish. As I said it was delish. I was going to assist Beth where I could in the kitchen but Kendra wanted to make a quick trip to her place in Kirkland and back so I went along to keep her company. Oh yeah I forgot Kendra was there also. Yeah she is okay but not as active as she was down in Scottsdale. She had all sorts of excuses she was trying to give me but I think it was her hurting more and lack of sleep due to self maintenance of her new custom parts. I did pass on all you hugs and had to put up with her whimperings. Some nonsense about her having chest pains. Fortunately we didn't have to call the paramedics. Anyway I enjoyed a very good dinner with three very goods friends. Beth wouldn't let me leave unless I promised to come visit again. I'll post proof of the visit below.
Dang it seems I am having to make these promises every time I turn around. I mean really, there was Tessa, then Lucy Ross, Beth/Saha/ Kendra.... I think there are still a few more I have committed to visiting. now who might that be.. let me thing.. Oh yes I remember now, didn't I mention something of a next outing somewhere down the road? I think I may have committed to a visit with some honey badgers. I've never met a honey badger, I think there a some about 700 miles south of me. Yep, Michelle is in my sights now. She did say my room was usable didn't she? and oh yeah Did I tell you I was adopted by some young lady down that way somewhere. Yep, lil Sis, Jessica is down there too. I think her and Michelle have been conniving something together. I've have to be on high alert to keep from becoming entwined in their plots. Oh my next jaunt begins tomorrow.
Hugs,
Laurie
(https://i.imgur.com/C9uFP2g.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/EZ9CQsR.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/VnFzmpt.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/9P96sAe.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/MH20ysz.jpg)
Laurie it is so great to see you out and about, and thank you so much for driving several hours' round trip to visit! I wish you more happiness, the most happiness possible, and was so glad to be able to give you a hug in person.
As for chest pains, that's unrelated to surgery... my booblets are growing very gradually. Not what west coasties or people from Colorado would call mountains but maybe they are by Florida standards.
It was great to have you visit Laurie
Thank you and Beth for having me. I've already got my sister saying I'll have to that delicious fish dish for her when I return from California. I'm going to take the recipe card with me too.
I know Kendra is your and Beth's girl but she's pretty darn special to me too.
I have more special people in my life now than I ever have had before. I haven't even had this many friends before.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on February 05, 2018, 05:13:34 PMDang it seems I am having to make these promises every time I turn around. I mean really, there was Tessa, then Lucy Ross, Beth/Saha/ Kendra.... I think there are still a few more I have committed to visiting. now who might that be.. let me thing...
Ahem... [emoji849]
- Stephanie
QuoteDang it seems I am having to make these promises every time I turn around. I mean really, there was Tessa, then Lucy Ross, Beth/Saha/ Kendra.... I think there are still a few more I have committed to visiting. now who might that be.. let me thing...
Quote from: Steph2.0 on February 06, 2018, 02:16:45 AM
Ahem... [emoji849]
- Stephanie
I'll help with a travel map, you can't miss us.
(https://i.imgur.com/2X4Fnac.jpg)
Quote from: Faith on February 06, 2018, 08:53:28 AM
I'll help with a travel map, you can't miss us.
(https://i.imgur.com/2X4Fnac.jpg)
Three comments:
1. You just missed me.
2. Somebody's going to get wet in Lake Ogre Chobee.
3. You must love
Family Circus.
- Stephanie
QuoteYou just missed me.
I figured that you'd be at my house :D
(whew, covers the fact that I was too lazy to look you up)
QuoteSomebody's going to get wet in Lake Ogre Chobee.
Row Row Row your boat,
avoid all the gators
Scream and yell and jump about
Be sure you don't fall out.
QuoteYou must love Family Circus.
meh, it's OK. I did read it when I got the
PAPER newspaper
Now I know why Laurie's relatively new truck has more miles than my 1970.
QuoteQuote from: Laurie on February 05, 2018, 05:13:34 PMDang it seems I am having to make these promises every time I turn around. I mean really, there was Tessa, then Lucy Ross, Beth/Saha/ Kendra.... I think there are still a few more I have committed to visiting. now who might that be.. let me thing...
Ahem... [emoji849]
- Stephanie
Yes, (St#$&(ep)%@(han)@*%$(i)e)) I know, I know, I need May just need to March myself Down That a way. And I am Thunking about head down to meet at least three of you girl's I have yet to meet. May I remind you it is still only February?
Quote from: Faith on February 06, 2018, 08:53:28 AM
I'll help with a travel map, you can't miss us.
(https://i.imgur.com/2X4Fnac.jpg)
Hmmm lets see there's Sassy Cassie, My friend Beckie, Well you almost got me to Shortie's hanger, and there's Barbara, and yep you didn't forget yourself on the map. There are probably a few more that will want to meet that will raise their hands once I do pack up for another month on the road.
Quote from: Kendra on February 06, 2018, 09:44:16 AM
Now I know why Laurie's relatively new truck has more miles than my 1970.
Yep, Kendra, You do have to get behind the wheel to add up those miles. It's a good thing I don't really use maps until I get close to where I want to go. My atlas of the US would look like Faiths map of Florida. I've been a few places. So far there has only been a few pockets of girls that have said they would like to meet or see me again. This trip May have to be a big loop to see who I can see. Yes, it's only February and I am already thinking of creating my Marching orders. Please note I said "thinking", there's nothing in writing, no actual dates. That would be too close to a "Plan" and we all know Laurie doesn't do planning.
Hugs,
Laurie
Oh Laurie, only you would call several hours of driving "down the road!" I am loving the pics of you gorgeous ladies dining together! Something seems to have crept across your face in several pictures...could it be a smile?! :-*
Quote from: p on February 06, 2018, 03:04:20 PM
Oh Laurie, only you would call several hours of driving "down the road!" I am loving the pics of you gorgeous ladies dining together! Something seems to have crept across your face in several pictures...could it be a smile?! :-*
Yes Patti it certainly was. and here is the cause of another.
(https://i.imgur.com/DrrUVgb.jpg)
Have gas and throwing stuff in the pickup.
Quote
Have gas and throwing stuff in the pickup.
I have gas too, I blame breakfast. not sure how throwing stuff in the truck helps. OH, heavy lifting and straining .. gotcha
Don't think you're getting past Kansas without me catching you! ;D
Quote from: Faith on February 06, 2018, 05:44:47 PM
I have gas too, I blame breakfast. not sure how throwing stuff in the truck helps. OH, heavy lifting and straining .. gotcha
Oh My that can be uncomfortable Faith, Hun. Baking soda and water can help. But I was taking about fuel for the truck. It's full of it (I'm not) with a spare 5.5 gallons in the can.
Quote from: Sarah_P on February 06, 2018, 05:48:44 PM
Don't think you're getting past Kansas without me catching you! ;D
There May be a chance of traversing Dorthy town someday so you might want to get you Marching boots on. But I'm sure February is probably freezing if not white and icey there. But here When I get wandering in my system who knows where I May go?
Hugs,
Laurie
On the road again...
Oh, it's definitely white & icy here right now. Have a good trip & drive safe!
You had best not miss Colorado on your way to the gator state and back!
Tia Anne
Quote from: Anne Blake on February 06, 2018, 10:56:42 PM
You had best not miss Colorado on your way to the gator state and back!
Tia Anne
Awww now I knew that was coming from you Tia and I am sure Debi is in on it too. Tbh though I may miss one direction. I don't yet know who I will need to drop in on to meet. Likely my route will need must be dictated by who raises their hands this time.
I know Colorado and shorty's states. Missery and Dorothyville will be in the mix. We'll just have to see who else hollers.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
WAVE!!! HOLLLLLLEEERR!!!!!
By the time you get across the Pacific, I should be back home. Do you have an outboard motor on your truck? You may need one.
Jayne
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180207/c570dc4e041a0a5b18ebd269a1563dfd.jpg)
Quote from: Jayne01 on February 07, 2018, 12:44:34 PM
WAVE!!! HOLLLLLLEEERR!!!!!
By the time you get across the Pacific, I should be back home. Do you have an outboard motor on your truck? You may need one.
Jayne
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180207/c570dc4e041a0a5b18ebd269a1563dfd.jpg)
Jayne I think I'll need to special that one...
Oh btw I did make it to Michelle's. She immediately attacked me with a leaping hug that though very welcome, it was totally unexpected.
I've been fed and she is now taking me to some unknown location. Did I mention it is hard to type this blindfolded?
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Random thought that entered my mind. If you're blindfolding someone with glasses, do you just put the blindfold over the glasses? Or do you take the glasses off, blindfold the person, then put the glasses back on?
....asking for a friend.
Blind folded huh, that explains the improved spelling and fewer typos.
That was a bit catty but it is my 666th post
Quote from: Anne Blake on February 07, 2018, 08:48:57 PM
Blind folded huh, that explains the improved spelling and fewer typos.
That was a bit catty but it is my 666th post
You and the Devyln hanging out together? Don't you mean you were a little Devylish for your 666?
Tia Anne, reading your post I was laughing so much I started coughing and... ok that's too much information. I should know better than to go online while dilating.
Quote from: Sarah_P on February 07, 2018, 05:57:30 PM
Random thought that entered my mind. If you're blindfolding someone with glasses, do you just put the blindfold over the glasses? Or do you take the glasses off, blindfold the person, then put the glasses back on?
....asking for a friend.
Michelle says spandex works well over glasses as a blindfold.
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Quote from: Anne Blake on February 07, 2018, 08:48:57 PM
Blind folded huh, that explains the improved spelling and fewer typos.
That was a bit catty but it is my 666th post
Wow Tia I really couldn't tell with the blindfolf on. Fewer typos and spelling errors?
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
There you go brail on your key pad or is that cookie crumbs (nearly said biscuits !!but that would be gravy over there) Wish I was riding shotgun , would put up with the country music for that chance.
Enjoy your visit with Michelle! Big hugs!!! :-*
Hi Folks,
Yes, yes, I know I need to write up a report on my escapades here at Michelle's. But I'm afraid that is still going to have to wait until I can reach a safe haven. It's just not prudent to do so whilst I am still with her. This afternoon we went to a few stores when Michelle picked up a few things she said she needed. I tried to keep my eye on her but She slipped out of sight in Home Depot few several minutes while I was checking out the ladies power tools, I soon caught up with her though and we finished shopping and returned to her condo. A bit later we went to a little ladies consignment shop for a get together with a group of lgbtq+ ladies and a bit of social shopping. Later with bags in hand and credit card balances a bit larger, we returned to her place. Michelle then proceeded to change the door handles on my bedroom... these had key locks on the outside, and she has the keys. I'm beginning to wonder.. I am supposed to be heading home tomorrow... Does anyone else think I should be worried?
Hugs,
Laurie
quote
I'm beginning to wonder.. I am supposed to be heading home tomorrow... Does anyone else think I should be worried? unquote
Terrified more than worried I would suggest.
Have a safe journey home Laurie. :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Look in the bottom of your bag and see if the lock picks are still in there from your last trip
Quote from: davina61 on February 11, 2018, 02:22:34 PM
Look in the bottom of your bag and see if the lock picks are still in there from your last trip
We Yankees don't need no lock picks, we use booby pins!!!!
Darn! She managed to escape! Those badgers will regret their mistake. Oh, yes...
Laurie managed to evade all my snares. Even my kisses and tears had no effect! She's somewhere north of me, out of range of my badgers.
Quote from: Michelle_P on February 11, 2018, 07:03:00 PM
Darn! She managed to escape! Those badgers will regret their mistake. Oh, yes...
Laurie managed to evade all my snares. Even my kisses and tears had no effect! She's somewhere north of me, out of range of my badgers.
I've almost made it to Redding. Have a full tank of gas and a burger. It was touch and go for a bit there after calming the honey badgers and picking the locks. Jessica I don't know how I could have done it without your help. Sneaking my belongings out was harrowing and I was forced to get dressed in the elevator, but I managed. I don't know what I may have left behind but at least I am now beyond her clutches. Perhaps one more stop for fuel and then I'll be home again.
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Quote from: Laurie on February 11, 2018, 07:22:35 PM
I've almost made it to Redding. Have a full tank of gas and a burger. It was touch and go for a bit there after calming the honey badgers and picking the locks. Jessica I don't know how I could have done it without your help. Sneaking my belongings out was harrowing and I was forced to get dressed in the elevator, but I managed. I don't know what I may have left behind but at least I am now beyond her clutches. Perhaps one more stop for fuel and then I'll be home again.
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
You describe it as a stealth escape in the middle of the night. Instead, I choose to picture Laurie wearing sunglasses with Fortunate Son blaring from the radio, driving down a desert highway into the sunset, with her arm casually drapped out the window while being pursued by giant radioactive badgers being shepherded by mad max-esque dirt bike riding post apocalyptic warriors.
Quote from: Roll on February 11, 2018, 08:05:41 PM
You describe it as a stealth escape in the middle of the night. Instead, I choose to picture Laurie wearing sunglasses with Fortunate Son blaring from the radio, driving down a desert highway into the sunset, with her arm casually drapped out the window while being pursued by giant radioactive badgers being shepherded by mad max-esque dirt bike riding post apocalyptic warriors.
Don't forget the CLONES!!!!!
Quote from: Michelle_P on February 11, 2018, 07:03:00 PM
Darn! She managed to escape! Those badgers will regret their mistake. Oh, yes...
Laurie managed to evade all my snares. Even my kisses and tears had no effect! She's somewhere north of me, out of range of my badgers.
Michelle, they were having a great effect that is why I had to escape when I did. My tears came just a little ways down the freeway.
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Hrmph! How embarrassing.
I suppose I have no choice now but to unleash the flying monkeys.
Fly! Fly, my little pretties, fly!
It's 3am and all is well. Made it home and truck is unpacked. Good night.
Hugs,
Laurie
It's 3am on the US west coast, do you know where your Laurie is?
Yes.
Sigh of relief. ;)
So glad that you had a great visit and arrived home safely. Big hugs! :-*
Glad you made it back safely to Laurie Towers :) Now count the hoards flying monkeys unleashed by Michelle to fall gently off to sleep, bleats counting sheep ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Glad to hear you made it home OK. Rest up, as more adventures await you on the road ahead!
Hugs, Michelle
Glad you made it home safely!
The Chronicles of Laurie
Hi Folks,
Well it has been a week since I left home in search of adventure in the wilds of California. It was a harrowing time for sure as I was beset by honey badgers, strange exotic creatures able to transform their countenances into lovely ladies, and flying monkey like creatures.
I arrived in the early morning at my campsite and proceeded to explore a nearby cave where I was shortly assailed by one of the exotic creatures (I'll use female pronouns because that is how they appeared to me) that immediately launched herself at me with a pronounced "sqeeee" sound and attempted to bowl me over to the ground while attempting to render me unconscious in a vicious hug. Though I was able to extract myself from her clutches, I was feeling strange and discovered I was somehow how under her spell. I later found signs of a bite mark on my neck. She must have injected me with some sort of venom.
I was then compelled to follow her to her dwelling space within the cave system via a complex series of tunnels. I began to despair of ever finding my way back out. It was at this time that she began what was surely my fattening process as I was provided with some dark liquid and some solid sustenance. I have to admit the gruel and liquids were very tasty. I was then led back to my vehicle where I was made to open it and then made to act in the role of a pack mule in order to convey my belongings back to the creatures abode.
From there I was conveyed to a secretive meeting between my captor and one who appeared to be of advanced age. So confident of her spell over me, she didn't even post a guard to watch me as she and the elder entered another small room and closed the portal. After an hour or so they emerged and I was once again taken in tow and taken off to a public fattening establishment where I was again made to eat. We then returned to the dwelling.
Apparently I was seen to be a special prize catch as I was paraded through the neighborhood where I was put on display for the local inhabitants. Tired with sore feet, I was returned to her dwelling where I was watered and once again made to enjoy more gruel prepared by my hostess. Followed by being interrogated in a language akin in sound to French. I was then shut in a small room and secured to rings set in the ceiling by a number of straps.
So ends the first chapter in the chronicles of Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on February 13, 2018, 09:13:00 PM
So ends the first chapter in the chronicles of Laurie
And then?
And then??!!!I have to
WAIT?! - Stephanie
Coming soon to a Susan's Place near you "Princess Laurie and the Dawn Treader"
Just when it gets to the good part!! >:-)
Darn Laurie hangers or serials :)
Hi Folks,
Before going to Michelle's I had to go get blood drawn for my labs. Over all I am still among the living though as someone once opined, among the walking dead. One of the labs I had done was to check for colon cancer in lieu of a colonoscopy as I had had some benign polyps removed in a previous one, making me a candidate for more frequent retesting. I was over due and as far as that went it showed negative results. My other normal labs were just that, nothing of import to talk about.
I didn't know I was due for a diabetic test again and was pleased to see my 1ac came in at 6.6 and is below the 75 max for diabetic people like my. 6.1% is the max for those w/o diabetes.
My testosterone and estradiol was checked also and are shown below.
TESTOSTERONE, TOTAL <0.1 Low ng/mL 2.8-8 (Note that for women the reference range is: 0.1-0.8 ng/ml)
ESTRADIOL 192.3 High pg/mL 7.6-42.6 (high? I guess it would be way high for a guy.. I'm almost
pregnant)
MALE > 17YRS - 7.6 - 42.6 PG/ML
FEMALE > 17YRS - SEE BELOW:
FOLLICULAR PHASE - 12.5 - 166.0 PG/ML
OVULATION PHASE - 85.8 - 498.0 PG/ML
LUTEAL PHASE - 43.8 - 211.0 PG/ML
POSTMENOPAUSAL - <6.0 - 54.7 PG/ML
PREGNANCY, 1ST TRIMESTER - 215.0 - >4300.0
I was pleased to see my estradiol so high because I made sure not to take my morning dose of estradiol until after the labs were drawn so it was around 12 hours after my previous dose and therefore more indicative of my lower levels.
Today is another chat visit with my speech pathologist in a couple hours from now. I always enjoy my visits with her. Tomorrow morning it is a regular appoint with my GP and I have a few things to discuss with him. One being adding progesterone and another is a persistent pain just underneath my ribs to the left of my sternum. It started a couple days ago and hurts a fair amount and hurts enough that I cannot lie on my left side at all. At first I thought it was only a gas bubble but this is the third day that it has been hurting and has not changed at all really. Sitting up is okay but it is painful to press lightly in the area to hurting a lot if I try to lie on the left side.
And oh yeah Happy Valentine's Day everyone
Hugs,
Laurie
That's from the straps in the rings. Hope it checks out ok , hard to type with my fingers crossed.
Quote from: davina61 on February 14, 2018, 02:43:13 PM
That's from the straps in the rings. Hope it checks out ok , hard to type with my fingers crossed.
Thanks Davina, It could still be trapped gas and what's the worst it could be? Cancer? Been there done that 3 times already and I'm expecting it again so no big deal. So uncross your fingers.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on February 14, 2018, 02:32:20 PM
Hi Folks,
Before going to Michelle's I had to go get blood drawn for my labs. Over all I am still among the living though as someone once opined, among the walking dead. One of the labs I had done was to check for colon cancer in lieu of a colonoscopy as I had had some benign polyps removed in a previous one, making me a candidate for more frequent retesting. I was over due and as far as that went it showed negative results. My other normal labs were just that, nothing of import to talk about.
I didn't know I was due for a diabetic test again and was pleased to see my 1ac came in at 6.6 and is below the 75 max for diabetic people like my. 6.1% is the max for those w/o diabetes.
My testosterone and estradiol was checked also and are shown below.
TESTOSTERONE, TOTAL <0.1 Low ng/mL 2.8-8 (Note that for women the reference range is: 0.1-0.8 ng/ml)
ESTRADIOL 192.3 High pg/mL 7.6-42.6 (high? I guess it would be way high for a guy.. I'm almost
pregnant)
MALE > 17YRS - 7.6 - 42.6 PG/ML
FEMALE > 17YRS - SEE BELOW:
FOLLICULAR PHASE - 12.5 - 166.0 PG/ML
OVULATION PHASE - 85.8 - 498.0 PG/ML
LUTEAL PHASE - 43.8 - 211.0 PG/ML
POSTMENOPAUSAL - <6.0 - 54.7 PG/ML
PREGNANCY, 1ST TRIMESTER - 215.0 - >4300.0
I was pleased to see my estradiol so high because I made sure not to take my morning dose of estradiol until after the labs were drawn so it was around 12 hours after my previous dose and therefore more indicative of my lower levels.
Today is another chat visit with my speech pathologist in a couple hours from now. I always enjoy my visits with her. Tomorrow morning it is a regular appoint with my GP and I have a few things to discuss with him. One being adding progesterone and another is a persistent pain just underneath my ribs to the left of my sternum. It started a couple days ago and hurts a fair amount and hurts enough that I cannot lie on my left side at all. At first I thought it was only a gas bubble but this is the third day that it has been hurting and has not changed at all really. Sitting up is okay but it is painful to press lightly in the area to hurting a lot if I try to lie on the left side.
And oh yeah Happy Valentine's Day everyone
Hugs,
Laurie
My E was 82 so I guess I'm not almost pregnant. However, you and your road trips are becoming questionable?????
The chronicles of Laurie continued
After an exhausted sleep my captor freed me from my restraints and I was once again given the dark liquid and a bowl of gruel with fruit. Simple but tasty faire again. After some more interrogation I was allowed to wash up and fix my makeup. Clean and fed the interrogation proceeded unabated until some time around mid day which was bright and warm appearing, She again fed me some of the local flora with a tangy liquid dribbled over it. It reminded me of the green I observed and old aquaintance of mine by the name of... umm .. Miney? .. Meanie? no Mawny yeah that's it. Anyway it reminded me of the greens Mawny fed her 6'3" rabbit no one but she can see. We then went out so she could show me off in various establishments. Once again I was made to carry all of her acquisitions back to her dwelling. This was once again followed by being paraded through the local neighborhood where we stopped in at a dark beverage establishment for another dark beverage for me and a tinier one for herself. I am beginning to think these dark liquids may be venom boosters as I have no desires to escape and follow her around as if it were normal to do so. So with tired feet we once more return to her dwelling where the interrogations continues as she began to concoct a tasty meal again with the green flora, some kind of tubular noodles with a creamy cheesy tasting sauce but I was sure it couldn't be cheese because it had this strange warmth on the back of my tongue and top of the throat. There was also some sort of meat to that tasted similar to chicken. After I was made to clean up the dishes and utensils used were again sat at the table and the interrogation ensued lasting well into the evening. Finally tired and fed I again was secured in the room for the evening and left alone in the dark.
So ends the second chapter in the chronicles of Laurie.
Quote from: Laurie on February 14, 2018, 11:46:05 PM
The chronicles of Laurie continued
After an exhausted sleep my captor freed me from my restraints and I was once again given the dark liquid and a bowl of gruel with fruit. Simple but tasty faire again. After some more interrogation I was allowed to wash up and fix my makeup. Clean and fed the interrogation proceeded unabated until some time around mid day which was bright and warm appearing, She again fed me some of the local flora with a tangy liquid dribbled over it. It reminded me of the green I observed and old aquaintance of mine by the name of... umm .. Miney? .. Meanie? no Mawny yeah that's it. Anyway it reminded me of the greens Mawny fed her 6'3" rabbit no one but she can see. We then went out so she could show me off in various establishments. Once again I was made to carry all of her acquisitions back to her dwelling. This was once again followed by being paraded through the local neighborhood where we stopped in at a dark beverage establishment for another dark beverage for me and a tinier one for herself. I am beginning to think these dark liquids may be venom boosters as I have no desires to escape and follow her around as if it were normal to do so. So with tired feet we once more return to her dwelling where the interrogations continues as she began to concoct a tasty meal again with the green flora, some kind of tubular noodles with a creamy cheesy tasting sauce but I was sure it couldn't be cheese because it had this strange warmth on the back of my tongue and top of the throat. There was also some sort of meat to that tasted similar to chicken. After I was made to clean up the dishes and utensils used were again sat at the table and the interrogation ensued lasting well into the evening. Finally tired and fed I again was secured in the room for the evening and left alone in the dark.
So ends the second chapter in the chronicles of Laurie.
I got to play with C4 with my speech therapist!
What will happen to Laurie next? Will she ever escape this (not-so) dire predicament? Join us tomorrow - same Laurie Time! Same Laurie Channel!
(https://www.dropbox.com/s/hi3qm7srev6o3f6/LaurieFlix.jpg?raw=1)
So who plays Laurie in the big screen version, Glen Close as her captor???(that's if I am thinking of the correct actress)
Yes Davina, Glen Close would work for the sinister Michelle
Hi folks,
Went to my GP appointment today and we talked about a couple things regarding my medications and health. Will be trying an inhaler to help my breathing when I get winded from various exertions like longer walks. up hill walks, stairs et. Stuff that I've noticed get me huffing and puffing since my emphysema in my upper lungs had progressed to "severe" in my last several CT scans and there is some collapsing of the very bottom on my lungs too. Both pretty normal in old people that smoked for several decades.
We discussed adding progesterone and I had to tell him why I wanted to add it. I told him I'd like him to be aware of my intentions to use what I have here. He said he would consult with an Endo about it. I agreed to wait to see what their thought were on it. I also discussed cutting back on my spiro and he mentioned it could have the effect of making my body hair coarser again in time. But I can do so if I want. He also indicated I don't need to see him prior to getting labs for my T & E levels and I can get the every 3 months if I want. All I need to do is let him know and he will order them.
I also asked about the pain I've hard for four days now and he think it is likely a muscle I somehow tweaked without realizing it but he is ordering an xray just to cover that base. so he doesn't think it anything much to be concerned about provided it doesn't get worse.
So the upshot is come back in 6 months, get an xray, wait on consult with endo before starting Progesterone (he'll monitor it) and another medication added.
Hugs,
Laurie
Laurie, I stare at your words and I have none. I want to share your journey with you and help where I can. I read and nothing comes to mid to say. Sympathy, jokes, hurrahs, squeee's? Most times I just don't know what a situation calls for anymore.
I'm here
I hope that's enough.
Quote from: Faith on February 15, 2018, 08:26:34 PM
Laurie, I stare at your words and I have none. I want to share your journey with you and help where I can. I read and nothing comes to mid to say. Sympathy, jokes, hurrahs, squeee's? Most times I just don't know what a situation calls for anymore.
I'm here
I hope that's enough.
Yes, Faith, being here is enough. I don't know what there is to say about my last post. It's only an account of my doctor visit. There is nothing great about it nor it there anything bad about it. It a report. the only thing the may be of mild interest about it here is the stuff about HRT. I will be beginning micronized progesterone with my doctors knowledge and monitoring after waiting for input from an Endocrinologist. I can cut spiro back if I want again with my doctor's approval. The rest is minor nonsense actually all of it is. So what's to say?
Oh did I mention Michelle was fattening me up? I have proof. I am again over 200 pounds as I weighed in at 202.8 lbs today at the doctor's office. That's up 6 lbs. :'(
Now the Chronicles of Laurie.. well that's different isn't it? I can't wait to see what I'll write next. We get a new victim in this next chapter.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote... I don't know what there is to say about my last post ...
It's more a culmination of multiples .. I just get so stuck wanting to say something suitable to at least show I was 'listening'. I'm not very good at it.
ps.
HOW THE HECK!!??!! do women type with long nails? mine aren't that long and I spend more time correcting than I do typing. Not to mention (but I will), it wears the color off the edge of my nails by the end of the day.
1st world issues, I need more of them.
Hun, if you want to say something then say something. Anything that you want okay okay yes I messed up on how you meant on one post and not your afraid of it happening again. I understand and regret that I took the serious interpretation when you meant it as a joke. I got it wrong Faith not you. I do that I'm human and get things wrong sometime frequently. Don't stop being you Faith or I'll slap you up the side of the head when I meet you for real. Lori get a nice hug though, if she'll let me.
You're asking me how to type? OMG lmao that's a good one. As for the ends of the polish coming off... if you are using a top coat try brushing it over the end and slightly under the nail tip. It may help prevent the end chipping a little bit.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on February 15, 2018, 09:17:49 PMDon't stop being you Faith or I'll slap you up the side of the head when I meet you for real. Lori get a nice hug though, if she'll let me.
Ooooo! Oooooo! [Raising hand]
I'll be seeing both of them on Saturday. Can I be proxy (for both the slap and the hug)?!
- Stephanie
Sure S)(t)(e)(p)(h)(a)(n)(i)(e, Go for it. I'll give them and you refreshers when I get there.
The Chronicles of Laurie continued
After another night of hanging around uncomfortably I was once again released my my captor. My attractive vixen, who I now have figured out goes by name Michelle. Again I was given first my daily dose of dark liquid that I have become accustomed to and some strange dish made with fowl egg, with green flora and several slices of something speckled with orange specks that melted in the heat of the cooking vessel. The egg was then folded to encompass the flora and melted stuff the served to me. Upon taking a bite I discovered an odd warmth developing in the back of my mouth. Interesting but not unpleasant. Once the morning meal was over I was again pressed to perform scullery duties.
Michelle with a look at this primitive time device on the wall hurried me off to bath, dry and make myself presentable again. Before I was ready a chime sounded and Michelle exited the portal in haste. Apparently some one had summoned her. I was not dressed in a nice black skirt and a white top with a wide belt about my waist. I was donning adornments around my neck and from my ears when the door opened and another victim was ushered into the dwelling. This one was obviously enthralled with Michelle also. Following what was now becoming routine we were sat around the interrogation dias and the interrogation began mainly of the new victim but some questions were aimed at me. I was there mainly to aid in translation as I have had a couple of days to pick up a few phrases and gestures to be able to communicate. I found out the new person was called Jesseeka or something like it. She appeared male but assured us she was a she. After some time the parade hour was approaching and I was sent off to put on my face for the public while Michelle took Jesseeka in tow and disappeared into her room where strange sounds began to emanate through the open door.
Done with my preparations. I went to see what was transpiring in Michelle's room. When I peeked in I saw Jesseeka being transformed into a more feminine form with longer hair and face paint being judiciously applied. She was now in a peach slim leg garment, red top and a white jacket and adorned with baubles at wrist and neck.
We were then both paraded through the town again and entered another cave that was a food establishment where we had to chased down some of the workers to find us a place to sit. after Michelle spoke to the worker she continued the interrupted interrogations. after a time beverages were brought and still later dishes were placed in front of us and we were given the okay to begin consuming it. Mine was something called Cajun shrimp with linguini and fettuccine. It was delicious and I consumed the whole contents on the dish along with the beverage. By the looks of their dishes both Jesseeka and Michelle enjoyed theirs also. Michelle exchanged some sort of currency with the worker and we left.
From there we found a rather busy public concourse with tables where we again sat and the interrogation began anew whilst other town dwellers came and went all around us. Jesseeka was so enthralled still that I don't believe she noticed any of the activity going on around us. Eventually satisfied Michelle led us back through the town and to her dwelling where she busied herself in the preparation to melting small balls of frozen things the spread out into many small cookie like morsels. The honey badger were out and as I cowered in my seat Jesseeka proceeded to surreptitiously soothe the vicious creatures as I watched intensely thinking such an ability might come in handy later.
The cookie like morsels were severed with a white cold beverage and were in fact very tasty. I'm not sure what happened but Jesseeka was suddenly made to change back to the drab appearance and though hugs were given and received and then she was ushered out the door by Michelle. She returned without Jesseeka. I was not sure what may have happened to her but I feared the worst. I was able to relax for a bit and then Michelle was once again busying herself in the food prep area. It was about then that it was noticed that Jesseeka had left her purse with her money packet inside of it. I became really worried know the Jesseeka was unlikely to have left these valuables here willingly. I found a messaging method to contact her and frantically attempted to contact her and was about to despair when Michelle's communication device started making noises. She picked it up and began giving orders into it then she put it down again. In a short time it made the noises again and was picked up. Michelle listened this time and then put it down again grabbed Jesseka's belongings and we went below into the maze again. when we emerged there was Jesseeka standing there. I was so please to see her unharmed I ran and hugged her tightly. Michelle gave Jesseeka her valuables and we all bade eachother farewell and Jesseeka got into some sort of vehicle and departed.
Returning to the dwelling Michelle finished preparing an evening meal for her and I during which we conversed regarding what had happened during the course of the day with Jesseeka on display for the first time. All in all it was concluded that the day was indeed a fine one. I was then urged to perform scullery duties and afterwards it was decided that rest was again needed and I was sent of to my room and secured for the night again.
So ends this third chapter in The Chronicles of Laurie
Stay tuned for the next exciting chapter.
Quote from: Laurie on February 15, 2018, 10:57:15 PM
Sure S)(t)(e)(p)(h)(a)(n)(i)(e, Go for it. I'll give them and you refreshers when I get there.
If you're thinking hugs I'm all over that. If you're thinking slaps, I'll be over the refrigerator.
Stephanie
Hrmph. I let her get out of range, off of my dark elixir for a few days, and now she's spilling the beans!
I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too!
Quote from: Steph2.0 on February 15, 2018, 10:44:40 PM
Ooooo! Oooooo! [Raising hand]I'll be seeing both of them on Saturday. Can I be proxy (for both the slap and the hug)?! - Stephanie
Lori is very defensive, I strongly suggest two hugs. I'd hate to see a short squabble ensue.
Quote from: Laurie on February 15, 2018, 10:57:15 PMSure S)(t)(e)(p)(h)(a)(n)(i)(e, Go for it. I'll give them and you refreshers when I get there.
refresher hugs, cool.
Quote from: Faith on February 16, 2018, 06:57:29 AMLori is very defensive, I strongly suggest two hugs. I'd hate to see a short squabble ensue.
You misunderstand, lady. The hug is for Lori. What
you get is dependent on Laurie's orders.
And who are you calling short?!
- Stephanie
I'm open to new ideas.
Only if you're well grounded.
Maybe we should switch subjects.
Why do I get the feeling my adventures are getting short circuited? It's strange the breaker hasn't tripped yet.
We're all too wired.
Quote from: Steph2.0 on February 16, 2018, 11:09:21 AM
We're all too wired weird.
Sorry (((((St)e)p)ha)ni)(e) I just had to correct your misspelling.
Hmmm I think somewhere back many posts, there was another installment of the Chronicles of Laurie... I am sure I wrote one up...
Ohm my, resistance is feudal. If you want to have a constant faraday don't be a copper out. You might get stranded any way you splice it, so take charge.
Quote from: Kendra on February 16, 2018, 11:24:54 AM
Ohm my, resistance is feudal. If you want to have a constant faraday don't be a copper out. You might get stranded any way you splice it, so take charge.
"resistence is feudal" - Here come the Borg!!!!! who will change it to futile
We've all been inducted as transistors and are currently transforming. There should be no impedance of our progress.
Quote from: Steph2.0 on February 16, 2018, 11:36:01 AM
We've all been inducted as transistors and are currently transforming. There should be no impedance of our progress.
Kewl, couldn't have typed it better :)
Managed to sit in the office lunch time , best lunch ever reading The Cornicles and cheered me up just the spark I needed and recharged me for the afternoon. Well I did my best to keep the conduit of this thread flowing in a positive way, no place to be negative. I think that's ampule
Quote from: davina61 on February 16, 2018, 03:02:41 PM
Managed to sit in the office lunch time , best lunch ever reading The Cornicles and cheered me up just the spark I needed and recharged me for the afternoon. Well I did my best to keep the conduit of this thread flowing in a positive way, no place to be negative. I think that's ampule
And dear Davina, as a reward you may have Saturday and Sunday off!
Saturday OFF , only if I book it as holiday, we have Sunday and a lieu day every 2 weeks , still got Monday of so 2 days on the trot novelty and if you saw my diary they have just stoped anyone from having holiday for next 7 weeks and over Christmas and new year (ok rant over )
Years ago in the last century, I had a job that had what we US'n called Sun/Rot or Sunday-Rotating. Basically, you'd work the weeks like:
Week 1 - Sunday/Monday
Week 2 - Sunday/Tuesday
Week 3 - Sunday/Wednesday
Week 4 - Sunday/Thursday
Week 5 - Sunday/Friday/Saturday
and then repeat the process.
It was nice having a day off during the week so errands could be done and every 5th week have a 3 day weekend unless a holiday fell on your Sunday/Friday/Saturday off day and you'd get Thursday or Monday off as well.
Now I have Sunday-Saturday off :)
Well, I'm definitely charged up for the next chapter on this Faraday afternoon!! The wait for each chapter really hertz!
Quote from: Sarah_P on February 16, 2018, 05:36:04 PM
Well, I'm definitely charged up for the next chapter on this Faraday afternoon!! The wait for each chapter really hertz!
The frequency is definitely too low.
With all this electric static in the air, I was shocked trying to fit in another chapter. I was resonating with the tale when suddenly I got choked up to capacity. I'm almost in hysteresis at the core of my being. Now I'll need to await another discharge cycle.
Quote from: Laurie on February 16, 2018, 06:49:45 PM
With all this electric static in the air, I was shocked trying to fit in another chapter. I was resonating with the tale when suddenly I got choked up to capacity. I'm almost in hysteresis at the core of my being. Now I'll need to await another discharge cycle.
Considering all the slapping you've been doing, I'm surprised you haven't been charged with battery.
- Stephanie
Quote from: Steph2.0 on February 16, 2018, 07:10:29 PM
Considering all the slapping you've been doing, I'm surprised you haven't been charged with battery.
- Stephanie
WATT did you say Stephanie?
Chrissy
Quote from: Laurie on February 15, 2018, 05:21:24 PM
Yes Davina, Glen Close would work for the sinister Michelle
Excellent! *tents fingers*
A Salt & Battery!
Coloumb down.
Amp it up!
Braise the dog
I feel like I've stumbled into one of Nikola Tesla's experiments. Either that or this is all a very strange dream and I haven't woken up yet.
Hope you are well Laurie, have and awesome day whatever mischief you get up to :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Shy on February 17, 2018, 11:57:23 AM
I feel like I've stumbled into one of Nikola Tesla's experiments. Either that or this is all a very strange dream and I haven't woken up yet.
Hope you are well Laurie, have and awesome day whatever mischief you get up to :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Yes, Sadie , my thread has once again suffered from a zany punistic denial of service attack by unscrupulous denizens of the shadows. Judging from the timing, it looks as though they are trying to derail my account of my harrowing adventures down south in The Chronicles of Laurie. But never fear though they were successful last night the next chapter will be forthcoming soon. I'm not sure anyone reads my musings anyway. (sigh) Be well Sadie.
Hugs,
Laurie
The Chronicles of Laurie continued
And so bright and early I was again released from my shackles. I could see the bruising on my wrists and ankles plainly now and believe me when I tell you Blue is not my color and neither is the black and sickly green. I know that I had to do something to enable my eventual escape. Michelle once again sat me at the interrogation table and provided me with her diabolical dark brew for which I was developing a taste for I suspect now that it had addictive properties and that the effects were accumulative as I was becoming quite enamored with Michelle. It seemed that she was becoming less my captor an more of a mistress who treated her minions fairly well. Inside though I knew it was just the debilitating effects of the brew and I'd need to get away soon whist I was still able to think somewhat coherently. Morning sustenance was a creamy purplish concoction with what I had come to understand were small fruits or berries mixed within. It was quite good though it seemed just a bit chalky in the mouth. Afterwards came a casual session of what appeared to be chit chat rather than the usual grilling whilst more dark brew was administered. I don't quite know what to think of this more pleasant Michelle who was behaving in stark contrast to the Michelle of the last few days.
Once I had drank the required morning dose of dark brew I was instructed to prepare for an outing of shopping. I donned another skirt and nice top with prerequisite dangly earrings, necklace and decorative wrist cuffs then proceeded to apply a new coat of fresh makeup in order for me to appear slightly more feminine. The previous coat having been removed with a shower and some kind of paint and varnish remover. And so I was once again presentable for display.
Out the portal and through the maze of tunnels (I was now able to discern where we were at) and into the cave when my conveyance was parked. (I could see it from the interior of Michelle much quieter vehicle), the means of propulsion of which I had no idea how it worked and therefore would not be able to operate myself. So out into the town we went and to many different types of mercantile enterprises where Michelle browsed the goods and purchased some few items which were passed onto me to carry around like some sort of pack animal. As humiliating as it seem I could not help myself from smiling back at Michelle for every tidbit of attention she afforded me. My resolve to escape was slipping away. After several stops we once again returned to the dwelling where I carried in all of her acquisitions.More sustenance and drink were provided with the day half gone followed by scullery duty and a shoulder and neck massage administered by myself to Michelle. With my fingers kneading her neck and a distinct purring sound emanating from her I found myself powerless to throttle the creature. when she was sated We discovered it was again time to be paraded through the town on foot.
This was an abbreviated stroll however as she explained we must soon be off to meet with more of the creature and minions at a local establishment called a boutique? A strange place indeed as it had racks of garments and a table set with drink and small foodstuffs. The creature milled around this table for a bit the some went to peruse the garment racks and selecting some to take into there small booths where they would emerge wearing the apparel and solicit opinions from the others. What strange and foreign behavior. I was left on my own to wander as Michelle engaged in this strange ritual herself. It was then that I was beset by a kindly creature that took me in tow insisting that she help me find items so that I too could engage in this ritual. She did not seem to understand my protestations and would have none of it. So with garments in hand I headed into one of the booth to become part of the ritual. Obviously for the first time. Resignedly I undressed and tried on the garments one at a time. looking into the mirror provided for the purpose I could see the none of the items were right for me so there was no point of coming out to display them to the other creatures. I changed back into my own clothes and returned the items to the creature who immediately gave me two more to try on. These also did not look appropriate on me so I returned them to the creature. I was not to get of of there without something so I found two nicely decorated wrist cuffs and a pretty collar to go around my neck.
With the party over Michelle took me to a nearby eatery where a creature stood behind a counter performing for the patrons by spinning and tossing some sort of dough into the air and catching it again only to toss it up again. Somehow this caused the disc of dough to get larger and larger until it reach a desired size. it was then put on a metal plate, and smeared with a red paste and then further decorated with foodstuffs. This was then slid into an oven and cooked. Michelle talked to another minion apparently a serving wench and she went off to return shortly with beverages for us.
There ensued a short chat session which was cut off by the arrival of one of these interesting edible decorations. It was cut into 10 pieces which we proceeded to consume one at a time. They were delicious creations with a hot stringy substance covering the other toppings. It was so good that I matched Michelle in eating 4 wedges each. the remain two were then put into a small box for transport back to the dwelling.
Arriving home, (yes I was now thinking of Michelle's dwelling as home) she put the wedges into the cold storage device and we sat to relax, talk, and let the evening's food settle. All too soon, it was time to be secured for the night and Michelle headed of to her own bedroll.
So ends the fourth chapter of The Chronicles of Laurie
stay tuned for the next riveting chapter. Escape!
Bravo, Bravo.
A fine recollection of a day upon the land.
Is a fine hostess that does not require her guest to muck the stalls.
Quote from: JulieOnHerWay on February 18, 2018, 11:44:44 PM
Bravo, Bravo.
A fine recollection of a day upon the land.
Is a fine hostess that does not require her guest to muck the stalls.
LOL Yes Julie, Michelle actually is a fine hostess.(but don't anyone tell her) So good that having to perform scullery maid duties are only a small price to pay for her delicious meals. It's those other duties not in the kitchen that make one wonder.
Hugs,
Laurie
Well I've just come back from the Warner Bros Harry Potter tour and I'm sure I saw Laurie there taking notes for her next episode of Lauriflix. ;D
Have a lovely day Laurie,
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi Sadie,
LOL it must have been a doppelganger you saw I haven't been out of the country for so long it couldn't have been me. Possible something Michelle did when I was visiting. I know, I know! She seems so sweet here in the forums but as you know from my tale she has a diabolical side to her.
Out taking in the movies are we? Good on you girl. Come out of the shell you like to hide in and live girl!
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on February 19, 2018, 10:35:23 AM
Hi Sadie,
Out taking in the movies are we? Good on you girl.
Hugs,
Laurie
More walking around the actual sets where Harry Potter was filmed. It was a 31/2 hour tour. A bit overwhelming for me initially, I haven't been in a seething swarm of tourists for a long time. But thankfully all of the shiny things, artwork, costumes and makeup artists kept me distracted.
Unlike you I wasn't coerced into trying on the outfits against my will, it was strictly a 'stay behind the barrier and don't touch anything' policy. I was however nearly duped into being green screened sitting on a broomstick for a photo ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Oh my goodness, I have been binge-reading The Chronicles of Laurie and am breathlessly awaiting their thrilling conclusion! Sounds like a deeply strange, but also strangely satisfying, visit. I love your sense of humor L! :-*
Quote from: p on February 19, 2018, 02:08:21 PM
Oh my goodness, I have been binge-reading The Chronicles of Laurie and am breathlessly awaiting their thrilling conclusion! Sounds like a deeply strange, but also strangely satisfying, visit. I love your sense of humor L! :-*
Good luck on the conclusion - She's a franchised multi-episode heroine.
Quote from: p on February 19, 2018, 02:08:21 PM
Oh my goodness, I have been binge-reading The Chronicles of Laurie and am breathlessly awaiting their thrilling conclusion! Sounds like a deeply strange, but also strangely satisfying, visit. I love your sense of humor L! :-*
Hi Patti!,
Thank you. I did have a very good time visiting Michelle and meeting with Jessica. I hope all is well with you Hun. We don't get to hear much about how you are doing. You need to change that so I can learn more about my #1 fan. Love ya girl.
Hugs and more hugs,
Laurie
Hi folks,
I felt like a little frivolity today.
(https://i.imgur.com/gOBzeGj.jpg)
Hugs,
Laurie
Ladybugs!! I love ladybugs.
I think we have found Little Dot (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Dot).
Ugh Laurie you are killing me, how are your nails always so gorgeous?!?!
Maybe I will start a little diary here one of these days. I love our Susans community, but for some reason I have been shy about sharing much besides what I made for dinner.
A little frivolity goes a long way, well jealous as keep chipping mine
Patti and Davina,
My nails have become female nails and chip, split, and break just like a woman's does. Not I have trouble getting them to grow out again. I am trying biotin and hopefully it will help.
Hugs,
Laurie
Hi Folks,
Today I actually drove an hour to my county justice building to pick a new name change form. They made changes to the requirements this year and it is not available online yet. So to see what's changed I had to go there, Found it and started up the stairs up to the door when another lady is starting back down. She told me it was closed due to weather at noon.
Arrrrg
So now for The Chronicles of Laurie conclusion
By now I knew the routine expected of me once I was released and allowed to leave "Laurie's Room" I was again fed a breakfast of the gruel with the local berries and fruit added to make it delicious and was given two cups of the dark elixir. (I managed to secrete most of it into the nearby plant. It began to brown and look a bit sickly almost immediately.) I was informed by Michele that we were now running short on time to attend her weekly occultish meetings with others of her kind. The nearest I can equate this gathering to is a religious kind of ritual. So I was made to hurry with facial camouflage and made to wear my black and white dress with my lower heeled black pumps while Michelle wore a light colored top and a tan skirt or at least I think it was tan. My mind was of course a bit muddled still from the dark elixir, So off we went to this ritual where we arrived a few minutes late and found seats.
During the ritual there were several demonstrations to illustrate the presentation along with several audience participation rites. Michelle took part in one of these where in her turn she placed a flat pebble into a clear container of liquid and seemingly meditated while the pebble slowly sank to the bottom. What the point of this rite was I couldn't say. After the ceremony was ended there followed a period of time to mingle with each other and My captor proceeded to show me off to the others there. It appeared she garnered much praise for capturing such a fine specimen and taming it. Sigh yes they meant me. After some time we left to return to her dwelling.
I was informed on the way back that I was to gather my belongings and vacate my room as it was needed to let another visiting creature who was to arrive soon. I was to put my thing in the living area and accommodations for me would now be in Michelle's private area as her prize pets. She said that there would be no chance to escape between the effect of the dark elixir and the honey badgers. Unfortunately I was not finished moving my things and stripping the bed linens and getting them washed before the visitor arrived. With a stern look I was told there would be consequences for being so slow later. While Michelle went to fetch her visitor I was able to get my stuff into the living area and linen off the bed before their return. I knew I would have to attempt my escape soon. I watched for my chance.
There ensued a polite conversation between the two of them while I was made to sit nicely in a chair nearby. There was one time I was allowed to talk and I became overwhelm with my predicament that I lost control and cried in front of them. I was distraught and could not help myself. I was humiliated. Now I just had to get away. I could not take the chance of that happening again. I began to plot.
There were all my worldly goods sitting in the living area... they were unsightly and in the way. I began to point this out to Michelle and managed to trip over something a couple time and complained loudly. I said if the were out of the way in my vehicle.... I cajoled and reasoned and yes even resorted to begging her to let me lock the in my vehicle where they would be out of the way while her friend Robyn was visiting. Finally she gave in I grabbed the bulk of my things and Robyn took on while Michelle carried a small box. Out the portal and down the tunnels we went. Michelle leading the way. I had eve secreted the key in my pocket and had my purse with me too.
I was all set to make a break for it. Arriving At my vehicle I unlocked it and put most of my things into it. The with Michelle holding the last item I went to get it from her but grabbed her in a bear hug and squeezed. Tightly She couldn't breathe completely and became stunned. I grabbed the box and jump inside my vehicle locking all the doors and starting the engine. I managed to make it out of the antechamber of the cave and into the daylight. I quickly retraced my steps and got the heck out of there. I was FREE and on the road home. I foud a friendly village to refuel and then continued. Strange thought running through my head telling me that my life there wasn't so bad. I was well fed and taken care of at all times. I began to miss the strange creature Michelle.I became sad and felt bad for leaving her. Yes I was her pet but a pampered pet with few duties other than scullery maid. I began to think that I would return someday. All I could attribute such thoughts to is that dark elixir that had such a strange affect on me. Yes it must be that the residual effects of the elixir... That's all it could be. Silly thoughts... Perhaps I will return to her someday. Someday soon.
Ans so ends The Chronicles of Laurie
Hugs,
Laurie
Whoa, did I read that right? Name. Change. Form.
Do we gets a poll for Laurie's middle name? Class participation! Ok I have no class but I'll vote fer Chronicles. Has a Tolkienesque ring to it. As the judge orders "Laurie Chronicles..." to raise her right hand. No, other right not stage left, right? Oh no it's Judge Judy. What has Laurie done now.
Wow Laurie such a chronicle your are writing. It does have a little bit of the CNN Patty Hearst Kidnaped or Terrorist story to it but perceptions are uniquely owned thoughts and girl you been thinking! Going all California out there may have disturbed some delicate arrangements in your psyche? Exposure and visibility are dangerous, as we out of closet folks know too well.....
Congrats on the taking those name change steps. A proud day awaits you showing off your new ID.
Quote from: Kendra on February 21, 2018, 07:09:52 AM
Whoa, did I read that right? Name. Change. Form.
Do we gets a poll for Laurie's middle name? Class participation! Ok I have no class but I'll vote fer Chronicles. Has a Tolkienesque ring to it. As the judge orders "Laurie Chronicles..." to raise her right hand. No, other right not stage left, right? Oh no it's Judge Judy. What has Laurie done now.
I vote for "Danger."
- Stephanie
Kendra,
IF I ever get the forms and see if I can change it I will be Laurie Jeanette XXXXXXX. Take a poll if you want but I can assure you, it will not be Chronicles.
Tessa,
"may have disturbed some delicate arrangements in your psyche" You may be right the harrowing traumatic experience with that Michelle may have had some small effect on me. I was in deep thought most of the way home with very strange things going round and round in my head. Dare I say a glimmer of hope? No, no that can't be possible,,, but something...
The name change thing may not even be possible. The laws have changed but without getting those forms in my hands I don't know how. There may still be road blocks that I saw on the old forms. I'll have to see. Then I can start to figure some things out. But I need that names change to move forward at all. I'm not optimist, never have been as I am a pessimist/procrastinator who prefers to see the worst and deal it when I have to... or not.
Hugs,
Laurie
I understand Chronicles won't be your middle name. That's ok. Laurie Jeanette Chronicles is a wonderful name.
I'm not an optimist either. If I need glasses I'll make an appointment to see an optimist. Takes focus.
Though I'm not a visionary, am I getting an insight that you are trying to incite the other hooligans again?
You making a spectacle of your self again? Must get a move on with my name change or you will beat me . The last part of you adventure made my lunch time again , you should try writing short stories or am I magnifying things .
Quote from: Kendra on February 21, 2018, 01:36:43 PM
I understand Chronicles won't be your middle name. That's ok. Laurie Jeanette Chronicles is a wonderful name.
I'm not an optimist either. If I need glasses I'll make an appointment to see an optimist. Takes focus.
I raise my glasses to that.
A (not-so?) classic case of Stockholm Syndrome!
NAME CHANGE FORMS!!! You'll get them. You'll get it changed!
... are you SURE you don't want your middle name to be something silly? It's a great opportunity! Anything goes! I'm fond of titles. You could be Laurie 'The Wanderer' XXXXXXX. Or 'The Wise'. Or even 'the Awesome'. You get the idea. Or maybe you don't? I'm sure I could come up with several more options.... ;D
Quote from: Sarah_P on February 21, 2018, 03:34:14 PM
A (not-so?) classic case of Stockholm Syndrome!
NAME CHANGE FORMS!!! You'll get them. You'll get it changed!
... are you SURE you don't want your middle name to be something silly? It's a great opportunity! Anything goes! I'm fond of titles. You could be Laurie 'The Wanderer' XXXXXXX. Or 'The Wise'. Or even 'the Awesome'. You get the idea. Or maybe you don't? I'm sure I could come up with several more options.... ;D
Those names would really be silly for me. and they are more of a title than a middle name. Beside my initials are LJW and it's going to stay that way.
Hugs,
Laurie
Why go to the court for the paper work when it's available online (http://www.courts.oregon.gov/courts/clackamas/help/Pages/name-sex-change-forms.aspx). You will have to visit the court in order to file it and do any additional requirements like seeing a judge. I didn't read all the details as it took hours of research from me to get all the details of mine down.
Quote from: Steph2.0 on February 21, 2018, 03:19:34 PM
I raise my glasses to that.
If trekker middle name should be Tiberirus (sp), if not, middle name should be Narnia :)
Good luck with the name change Laurie. I'm all for Jeanette, weird celebrity names are soooo 90's ;D Laurie J has a real nice ring to it :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Dena on February 21, 2018, 05:39:13 PM
Why go to the court for the paper work when it's available online (http://www.courts.oregon.gov/courts/clackamas/help/Pages/name-sex-change-forms.aspx). You will have to visit the court in order to file it and do any additional requirements like seeing a judge. I didn't read all the details as it took hours of research from me to get all the details of mine down.
In some states like Oregon there are slightly different forms for each county. Other states like California have (mostly) moved to standardized form sets. Not all counties put the forms online.
It's really, really annoying. One more roadblock thrown up by unthinking bureaucrats, really.
Quote from: Dena on February 21, 2018, 05:39:13 PM
Why go to the court for the paper work when it's available online (http://www.courts.oregon.gov/courts/clackamas/help/Pages/name-sex-change-forms.aspx). You will have to visit the court in order to file it and do any additional requirements like seeing a judge. I didn't read all the details as it took hours of research from me to get all the details of mine down.
Thank you Dena for trying I know how you like to be as helpful as you can and I appreciate it, but... You apparently did not see this part of my post.
They made changes to the requirements this year and it is not available online yet. So to see what's changed I had to go there. |
Additionally you did not know because I didn't tell anyone what my county I live in. You did the same thing I diid awhile ago when I looked for information about name changing before. and did not notice this statement on the site you linked near the top of the page.
QuoteThis page contains many forms that are specific for the Clackamas County Circuit Court.
You guessed it. I don't live in that county. And that page has probably not been updated either. the forms I need are not available online yet and need to be picked up in person.
But you did try Dena and thank you for doing it.
Hugs,
Laurie
Thank you Sadie, I like it too.
And thank you Michelle. I obviously did not read your post after reading Dena's. So I duplicated your efforts to respond to Dena.
Hugs,
Laurie
Once again I wrote a post in another thread that is better suited in my own. ( Sorry Denni it is better here )
Here it is:
I'm torn and not even sure if what I am going to say has a place here. I am living full time as most here know. I am in transition and have been doing hrt, electrolysis, and voice training (done now), and therapy for various issues. All this means is that I am a transgender female. I know this, I believe this, but I have yet to fully accept this due to a bit of internalized transphobia and self deprecation. All that means is that I do not like myself. I could even go as far as saying I hate who I was and fear I still am. This and other issues make it difficult for me to see a future. I have been struggling with just wanting to be alive. Thanks to medications it is not a focus for me now But those dark thoughts are still there, lurking in the shadows. I feel them there. I'm still not sure I want to be here but I am also not sure I don't. As you can imagine this has pretty much derailed my thoughts of moving forward. I'm stuck marching in place. I wanted a couple of things fixed at a minimum, an adam's apple shaved and at least 2 of the three dangly parts removed. But they could be done with other surgeries that I think I would like but are not necessarily requirements because I haven't thought that far ahead. Even the thoughts of them have been stymied.
On one hand I feel like I am being left behind and running out of time from both age and health issues. Those do make me sad but I don't feel any urgency. I think I want them but it is not that important when you don't see a future, nor really care about having one. It is not all negative though. Recent escapades with visiting friends have helped. I think I see a glimmer of hope that I haven't had for a long time. Just a glimmer, but it's there, I am sure. My fear is that it might be extinguished. As a pessimist that is my expectation.
What I am saying I think, is that I don't know what I want in the future because I don't know if I have a future and to some extent having one doesn't matter. I have a long way to go but not necessary the will to go on.
That is probably not what you wanted to read here but it is my reality. Sorry.
Hugs,
Laurie
Laurie, you have to speak your truth, which you do, and we appreciate.
As you say, there is a glimmer of hope there. Hold that, and don't let the darkness overwhelm you. You have friends here who care about you. You do have a future!
I know the health issues weigh on you. Age isn't an issue for us, though. There's an 80 year old here in my group that just went through GCS, and she's doing fine. We can make ourselves right, without regard to age it seems. I don't think even your health issues can really stand in the way.
You need to be yourself, finally and truely. This place is here to help, as are your friends.
May I be happy.
May I know my true worth.
May I know that I am lovable.
May I love myself with ease.
You know what to do, I think... :)
Hi Laurie,
I'm back after a break and although we have talked I think it worthwhile to post this.
We know that we march a similar path and my break was associated with scans and checks and a 12 month anniversary with the thought of.. is it worth it? I live on borrowed time, how do I commit? how do I keep going? Is there anything worthwhile I can aim for or am I best just waiting for the inevitable call of ..It's back.
Firstly be cautious of shaving the Adam's Apple, I had the ultimate shave and the effect has been stunning :laugh:
As for running out of time and is it all worth the struggle. Well we are in the same boat on that. For my scan yesterday I sat next to a woman who has a brain tumour as we had our radio-contrast lines put in. She looked poorly and she made a comment that I looked well, that was nice of her. I couldn't speak as my arms were being used, she looked a little taken aback until I got one hand free and could talk to her and apologise.
We had a nice chat and explained our circumstance and our fears, as only the living dead can. I told her of my frustration of not knowing whether to or how find a life to live.
She told me that her scan was to let her know when she should go in for end of life care. That was all she had left and she would go there alone.
She told me that I did have a voice and to go out and use it and not count the days; they count themselves.
I think I will take that lesson and try and live it. I won't count the days, maybe neither of us should.
Cindy
Quote from: Laurie on February 22, 2018, 02:38:59 PM
Once again I wrote a post in another thread that is better suited in my own. ( Sorry Denni it is better here )
Here it is:
I'm torn and not even sure if what I am going to say has a place here. I am living full time as most here know. I am in transition and have been doing hrt, electrolysis, and voice training (done now), and therapy for various issues. All this means is that I am a transgender female. I know this, I believe this, but I have yet to fully accept this due to a bit of internalized transphobia and self deprecation. All that means is that I do not like myself. I could even go as far as saying I hate who I was and fear I still am. This and other issues make it difficult for me to see a future. I have been struggling with just wanting to be alive. Thanks to medications it is not a focus for me now But those dak thoughts are still there, lurking in the shadows. I feel them there. I'm still not sure I want to be here but I am also not sure I don't. As you can imagine this has pretty much derailed my thoughts of moving forward. I'm stuck marching in place. I wanted a couple of things fixed at a minimum, an adam's apple shaved and at least 2 of the three dangly parts removed. But they could be done with other surgeries that I think I would like but are not necessarily requirements because I haven't thought that far ahead. Even the thoughts of them have been stymied.
On one hand I feel like I am being left behind and running out of time from both age and health issues. Those do make me sad but I don't feel any urgency. I think I want them but it is not that important when you don't see a future, nor really care about having one. It is not all negative though. Recent escapades with visiting friends have helped. I think I see a glimmer of hope that I haven't had for a long time. Just a glimmer, but it's there, I am sure. My fear is that it might be extinguished. As a pessimist that is my expectation.
What I am saying I think, is that I don't know what I want in the future because I don't know if I have a future and to some extent having one doesn't matter. I have a long way to go but not necessary the will to go on.
That is probably not what you wanted to read here but it is my reality. Sorry.
Hugs,
Laurie
SLAP!!! SHAKE!!! (((HUG)))
See what you made me do. You got me out of hiding so that I can slap/shake/hug you. I have been keeping up to date reading your thread (and others too), but not posting anything due to some personal things I am dealing with.
Of course what you have to say has a place here. Where else would you say it? Your recent trip is proof that you can be happy and feel hope. Reading the Laurie Chronicles was very entertaining and also heart warming to see you happy. Don't let those negative thoughts overwhelm you. We are seeing more and more of the new and improved Laurie (Jeanette). You can do this. You know who you are, you know what you want/need to do. Live your life. And like Cindy said in her post, don't count the days, they can count just fine on their own. Instead, take whatever positives you can and make the most of them.
Now I need to go hide back in my corner.
Be good to yourself, Laurie (Jeanette)!
Jayne
Laurie, I am not going to quote your whole text I just want you to know what I 'heard' when I read it.
"I hesitate to go forward because I can 'see' the light coming for me and I fear that it will slip from my grasp leaving me in darkness, forever shrouding my spirit"
Many reasons people fear happiness, one of which is feeling unworthy, many more reasons to accept the happiness coming for you, it wouldn't be there if you hadn't earned it.
embrace it, take it in, let it consume you.
Thank you ladies for your thoughts, slaps, shakes and hugs. They all help this uncertain troubled mind.
Michelle - Yes I know, say the Michelle mantra over and over and think of what it makes me feel, what thoughts come to mind.
May I be happy.
May I know my true worth.
May I know that I am lovable.
May I love myself with ease.
Jayne - It's about time you showed up again. I should have known you were watching waiting for a chance to smack me again. I hope you are enjoying the vacation but suspect it has become a struggle for you. That just demonstrates that you need to be who you are. the girl we all see in you. Be at peace, Jayne it will all work itself out.
Faith - I know I didn't write those words. And I'm not sure how you come up with them from what I did write but I never was good at literature interpretation. But I do appreciate the thought you expressed and yes they has some truth in them for me. Thank you.
Cindy - My kindred spirit. You probably understand me better than I do myself. Yes we do walk similar paths and share that feeling of living on borrowed time. No one who hasn't been through similar situations as you and I can understand this feeling. The living dead indeed. It's just a matter of time and how much we may have left we don't know. Not even that nice lady you spoke with who was there to find out how close she may be. When you live on borrowed time it is hard to think beyond that next check up. Your thoughts stop at that next appointment, there is nothing beyond it. At least not until the doctor delivers that verdict you find you are holding your breath for again.. And it is a verdict, it means death or live for another finite time. A reprieve until the next checkup. In my case it three more months I can live.
You ask, "How do I keep going?" where I ask, why do I keep going? I don't have an answer to either. It seems pointless. But we do, one day at a time we put one foot in front of the other and carry on. And we wait for what both of us believe is the inevitable. Some days it can't come soon enough and other we don't want to see that day ever. But we are the living dead. Kindred spirits adrift through time.... waiting.
Laurie, I can't begin to understand what it must be like going to such doctor appointments and then waiting for results. One thing for certain is that none of us can know how much time we have left. A tragic accident could take anyone at any time. Last year, when I had hit rock bottom and very nearly created my very own custom tragic "accident" for myself reminds me how close I came to not being here today. From that dark time I have learnt that life is to be cherished and lived to the fullest.
You ask yourself "why" you keep going? That is easy to answer. You keep going because life is wonderful. You experienced some of this joy and wonder recently, drinking your morning dark elixir with some creature named Michelle.
You are not the living dead. You are the living. For as long as you still breath, and your big beautiful heart still beats, yo are alive. Treat yourself as the living. You will have plenty of time to be among the dead at some unknown time in the future, so don't concern yourself with that.
I certainly hope what I just wrote reads the way it sounded in my head.
Take care.
Jayne
Jayne,
I know it sounded bad. They aren't pleasant thoughts to be sure. I have those feelings and thoughts almost constantly. Cindy knows what I mean and so do some of the others here I am sure.
I am actually doing pretty good. As I said I think I see some hope but it cannot erase this specter I live with. If you do think of something you would like to do sometime it crosses your mind. I live in increments of 90 days from appointment to appointment. You can't think in terms of next year or even 6 months. 90 days is the limit will it be this time? How many months will I have? Or will I get another 90 days? In one sense it would be a relief to know. Order the medications, say my goodbyes, take the medications and go to sleep. All problems solved.
Well o will thing beyond the 90 day's for you. You will hang around until I get to meet you, and beyond. I am getting a real life hug from you some day and if you wish, I can deliver one of my slaps to you personally.
I am glad you are starting to see some hope.
Jayne
Laurie, I was glad to read the thrilling conclusion of the Chronicles! And OF COURSE your middle name will be Jeannette, I still remember those good old days, don't listen to any of these wacky gals! I know that it is still a struggle to find self acceptance and motivation. I am not here to rush you. I just want you to know that I love you and will support you however I can <3
I know what it's like to have a sword of Damocles hanging over your head. It starts to be all you can think about. Your life revolves around it and you start to wonder what the point is in anything when it can all be taken away. Or worse, it falls before you get the chance to do what you want to do.
But if I can share one thing I learned through trying to deal with it, it's this: Our time on this world isn't measured by the amount of days in a life. It's measured by the amount of life in each day. All of us could be dead at the drop of a hat. We could get hit by a bus, or contract something unpleasant, or any number of different things. To live in fear of our own mortality, and become resigned to the inevitability of it, is to give up everything that you're capable of. Everything that you still have inside you. The second you decide to do that is the second you stop living, even before anyone has said a word. People are worth more than that. Capable of more than that. Deserving of more than that.
Cindy, Laurie, and everyone else who's dealing with this... I know your state of mind. I know that it feels like you're just treading water, waiting for someone to tell you that your life will soon be over. My advice to both of you is to prepare for the worst... make sure your affairs are in order... and then go on to live like you don't give a damn. Life is what you make it, not what it makes you. Do the things you want to do. Now more than ever. Let it motivate you, not resign you to an existence in a waiting room. Be who you want to be and do what you want to do.
This is all easy to say. I know it is. I know the emotional rollercoaster can be often unbearable. But I always looked at it this way: What do you have to lose? If you're already expecting the worst then what do you have to lose by just doing as much as you can? Living life the way you want to? Forget waiting around for the end. When the end comes, make it a fitting epilogue to an amazing story. :)
Morning Folks,
Thank you ladies for your thoughts and support. Each of you help me get through my not so good days and bring smiles and joys on the good ones. Sephirah, my "affairs" have been in order for 3 1/2 years. Should something happen to me my daughter and my sister should get what I have. My daughter may have turned her back on me but I have not turned mine on her. In spite of our differences she is still Daddy's little girl and always will be.
Today is the day again. I've had my coffee and soon will get ready to have my fun day at the VA. It will be a busy day starting about 9am with lab draws (if there are more to be done) followed by having the IV being put in for the contrast injection while the CT machine does it's imaging... Breathe in, hold your breath, breathe... rinse and repeat several times. Then check in for my appointment with my Oncologist visit to get the verdict. Good or bad what will it be this time? Life , for another three months or a death sentence again? Who knows? I'll pass on the verdict shortly after I find out if the hospital wifi is working well enough. After a bite to eat it a short walk to my pill pusher's (Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner) waiting area and check in and wait. This appointment should not take long. It is just a checkin with her to discuss how I'm doing with the antidepressant and melatonin + benadryl I'm taking. Then it's time to see my therapist to update him on all the fun I've had since last visit about 3 weeks ago. An hour later I'm done and can join the traffic heading south from Portland and home for supper. Just another fun day at the VA with a lot of hurry up and wait.
It's not that bad I suppose I'll be getting a lot out of the way and scheduling done for the next time.
Hugs to all of you,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on February 26, 2018, 09:35:02 AM
Morning Folks,
Thank you ladies for your thoughts and support. Each of you help me get through my not so good days and bring smiles and joys on the good ones. Sephirah, my "affairs" have been in order for 3 1/2 years. Should something happen to me my daughter and my sister should get what I have. My daughter may have turned her back on me but I have not turned mine on her. In spite of our differences she is still Daddy's little girl and always will be.
Today is the day again. I've had my coffee and soon will get ready to have my fun day at the VA. It will be a busy day starting about 9am with lab draws (if there are more to be done) followed by having the IV being put in for the contrast injection while the CT machine does it's imaging... Breathe in, hold your breath, breathe... rinse and repeat several times. Then check in for my appointment with my Oncologist visit to get the verdict. Good or bad what will it be this time? Life , for another three months or a death sentence again? Who knows? I'll pass on the verdict shortly after I find out if the hospital wifi is working well enough. After a bite to eat it a short walk to my pill pusher's (Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner) waiting area and check in and wait. This appointment should not take long. It is just a checkin with her to discuss how I'm doing with the antidepressant and melatonin + benadryl I'm taking. Then it's time to see my therapist to update him on all the fun I've had since last visit about 3 weeks ago. An hour later I'm done and can join the traffic heading south from Portland and home for supper. Just another fun day at the VA with a lot of hurry up and wait.
It's not that bad I suppose I'll be getting a lot out of the way and scheduling done for the next time.
Hugs to all of you,
Laurie
Okay, I have gotten another reprieve! No sign of the dreaded grim reaper. See you again in three months. Had a nice chat with my oncologist during which I apologized for making her worried last time.
Two more appointments to go.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Talk about coincidence, my oncology appointment is at 11 am today to review the scans from last week.
I also need a blood draw to check a few things as well.
I'm feeling good and positive this week so to hell with gloom and bring it on.
Oh and I have picked out a particularly colourful "Kapow" badge to wear over my stoma. I do like it when people stare and then look away all embarrassed as if they have been caught out like naughty children.
I think I have an attitude problem >:-) :laugh:
Have a lovely day and time for me to leap out of bed and face the music.
Quote from: Cindy on February 26, 2018, 03:07:23 PM
Talk about coincidence, my oncology appointment is at 11 am today to review the scans from last week.
I also need a blood draw to check a few things as well.
I'm feeling good and positive this week so to hell with gloom and bring it on.
Oh and I have picked out a particularly colourful "Kapow" badge to wear over my stoma. I do like it when people stare and then look away all embarrassed as if they have been caught out like naughty children.
I think I have an attitude problem >:-) [emoji23]
Have a lovely day and time for me to leap out of bed and face the music.
But I love your attitude, hun. Go give them hell.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Quote from: Laurie on February 26, 2018, 02:58:10 PM
Okay, I have gotten another reprieve! No sign of the dreaded grim reaper. See you again in three months. Had a nice chat with my oncologist during which I apologized for making her worried last time.
Two more appointments to go.
Hugs,
Laurie
Yay!! That's great news.
Quote from: Sarah_P on February 26, 2018, 05:34:59 PM
Yay!! That's great news.
Thank you Sarah. You know I'm going to need some contact information for you. Don't make me hunt you down girl. You or anyone else that want to let me know their contact info can email me at Laurie@susans.org.
Hugs,
Laurie
I'm all good for another 6 months.
There was one comment on the CT scan 'visualised brain unremarkable', I felt that explained a lot.
Quote from: Cindy on February 26, 2018, 09:48:51 PM
I'm all good for another 6 months.
There was one comment on the CT scan 'visualised brain unremarkable', I felt that explained a lot.
Well, that was dumb for the CT Scan to note that!
Quote from: Cindy on February 26, 2018, 09:48:51 PM
I'm all good for another 6 months.
There was one comment on the CT scan 'visualised brain unremarkable', I felt that explained a lot.
YAY! Cindy. Hey! How come you get twice as long as I do? I'm glad the results were good for you also.
Quote from: Laurie on February 26, 2018, 10:26:41 PM
Quote from: Cindy on February 26, 2018, 09:48:51 PM
I'm all good for another 6 months.
There was one comment on the CT scan 'visualised brain unremarkable', I felt that explained a lot.
YAY! Cindy. Hey! How come you get twice as long as I do? I'm glad the results were good for you also.
Well that was the chemo-oncologist, the radio-oncologist still wants every 3 months and the surgeon every six weeks.
So I've recovered from chemo, recovering from radio and we are not letting you out of our sight for the surgeon.
I'm good. I am looking forward to a small glass of bubbles this evening while sitting outside on a rather lovely 35C Adelaide afternoon, in the company of a large Redback spider that I have caught, that is patiently chewing her way through the side of a container next to my camera while I wait to take her picture.
Knowing my luck she will escape, fly through the air with a murderous spider scream and bury her fangs in my neck and I'll drop dead before I can press the shutter.
Quote from: Cindy on February 26, 2018, 11:00:27 PM
YAY! Cindy. Hey! How come you get twice as long as I do? I'm glad the results were good for you also.
Well that was the chemo-oncologist, the radio-oncologist still wants every 3 months and the surgeon every six weeks.
So I've recovered from chemo, recovering from radio and we are not letting you out of our sight for the surgeon.
I'm good. I am looking forward to a small glass of bubbles this evening while sitting outside on a rather lovely 35C Adelaide afternoon, in the company of a large Redback spider that I have caught, that is patiently chewing her way through the side of a container next to my camera while I wait to take her picture.
Knowing my luck she will escape, fly through the air with a murderous spider scream and bury her fangs in my neck and I'll drop dead before I can press the shutter.
Interesting....
The redback is one of the few spider species that can be seriously harmful to humans..... Predominantly neurotoxic to vertebrates, the venom gives rise to the syndrome of latrodectism in humans; this starts with pain around the bite site, which typically becomes severe and progresses up the bitten limb and persists for over 24 hours. Sweating in localised patches of skin occasionally occurs and is highly indicative of latrodectism. Generalised symptoms of nausea, vomiting, headache, and agitation may also occur and indicate severe envenomation. .... Red-back spider bites were considered not life-threatening but capable of causing severe pain and systemic symptoms that could continue for hours to days.[
At least it shouldn't be fatal Cindy.
Well done love , found my "urgent" phone call from docs was just to have a routine check up. so we are all in the clear.
Laurie, Cindy and Davina--so much good news, I am happy for all of you! <3 :-*
Thank you Patti
Good news all around!
Not quite a Squeeee, but it has possibilities....
(https://i.imgur.com/6E2Njgo.jpg)
Lemme fill out your middle name! Pleeeaaaazzzee
Quote from: Kendra on February 27, 2018, 07:40:52 PM
Lemme fill out your middle name! Pleeeaaaazzzee
Does it start with a "C" and end with a "hronicles"?
- Stephanie
It better start with a J and end with eanette but somehow I don't think that's what she has in mind.
Quote from: Laurie on February 27, 2018, 08:48:53 PM
It better start with a J and end with eanette but somehow I don't think that's what she has in mind.
Well, there's plenty of room on top of the fridge, and starting tomorrow she won't be able to yell for help. Just make sure you give her her dilators.
On the other hand, she's in a lot better shape than I am, so you may have a hard time getting her up there.
- Stephanie
Quote from: Laurie on February 27, 2018, 07:07:22 PM
Not quite a Squeeee, but it has possibilities....
(https://i.imgur.com/6E2Njgo.jpg)
Yay! Definite squee-worthy potential.
I have some alternative middle name suggestions but I fear slap-happy retribution. I see Laurie's avatar and can plainly envision an evil grin on there ....... Jeanette works for me just fine ;D
Quote from: Faith on February 28, 2018, 06:38:13 AM
I have some alternative middle name suggestions but I fear slap-happy retribution. I see Laurie's avatar and can plainly envision an evil grin on there ....... Jeanette works for me just fine ;D
Lovely name, Jeanette. You distract her... how do you spell "danger"?
- Stephanie
You girls do know I will be heading your way don't you?.... >:-) >:-) >:-)
Ha! I'm safely out of reach, had Seoul food (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,234768.msg2098801.html#msg2098801) yesterday. Neener neener.
Quote from: Kendra on February 28, 2018, 01:22:55 PM
Ha! I'm safely out of reach, had Seoul food (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,234768.msg2098801.html#msg2098801) yesterday. Neener neener.
I'm patient Miss Kendra and I know how to find you when you come back....
Neener, Neener, Seoul Foude Deener!
Sorry the Devyln made me do it!
Quote from: Kendra on February 28, 2018, 01:22:55 PM
Ha! I'm safely out of reach, had Seoul food (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,234768.msg2098801.html#msg2098801) yesterday. Neener neener.
I'm patient Miss Kendra and I know how to find you when you come back....
:police: Laurie Jeanette, you come down here this instant and finish your name change form young lady! ;) >:-)
Quote from: p on March 01, 2018, 03:03:21 PM
:police: Laurie Jeanette, you come down here this instant and finish your name change form young lady! ;) >:-)
You just behave young lady or you might find yourself on a refrigerator. Don't make me come out there.... I have my priorities. Paperwork can wait.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: p on March 01, 2018, 03:03:21 PM
:police: Laurie Jeanette, you come down here this instant
Come down from
where? Was she on the fridge?! Stay outta my chocolate!
Steph(anie)
working on it
(https://i.imgur.com/WKXrJMH.jpg)
Well folks,
My bags are packed, I'm ready to go... as the song says. So Road Trip 2.0 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,234629.msg2096986.html#msg2096986) is underway. The trip like the last one will be chronicled in that thread. I'm looking forward to meeting some of you I haven't met before on the way and some others that I have met already. To find out where I happen to be in my wanderings you'll have to follow me in the other thread.
Hugs,
Laurie
I'm home and my road trip is done. This trip was every bit as wonderful as the last. I thank everyone of those that met with me and especially those that gave me a place to sleep. Opening your hearts and/or homes to me is the best I could have hoped for. All of you and the spouses I met are special folks to me and will remain special. Love you all.
I have my name change forms all filled out and ready to take back to turn them in. Today I was having a bit of trouble again with doubts about what I am doing and who or rather what I am. This is another big step and just like the others that seem to have occurred ages ago those doubts set in. You know the ones WTH am I doing? Who am I? What am I? I wound up on the phone with Michelle and got us both crying as I expressed some of my uncertainties to her. Some of it affects her. I know the thought of changing my name is what brought up these doubts and fears. Those thought of do I really want to do this? Am I screwing up if I do change my name? Who am i kidding. You're not a woman. You are a woman wannabe and that is all. You are fooling yourself. How can you feel like a woman when you have no idea what a woman feels? It's the same old litany, the same old fears.
I then talked to Liz. Just talking these things out helps. With her help I come to see that part of it is my acceptance issues. I have yet to accept myself for who I am. I have not allowed myself to be a woman. At least its not the self hate I had been dealing with. Where that went I'm not sure. I also was able to articulate that I love being with Michelle wherever we are. I have made no mistake there, she is who I want to be with. I have also come to see that the name change issue is nothing more than a fear that what I need to do won't be right and I don't want to screw up in doing it. But I am not Leonard anymore. I'm not sure I am Laurie either. I feel like I'm something in between. I don't want to say I'm a freak but I don't feel right either way now. I don't want to be Leonard, a mean rotten old man, a failure at life and at the same time I don't know how to be Laurie, a woman. I want to be that woman but lack the skills and knowledge to be one, not to mention the correct body. Even the body itself is wrong to be who I want to be.
It boils down to fear and acceptance. The same old stuff hitting in a slightly different way.
It's good to be home, is it?
Hugs,
Laurie
I personally think you've come a long way. We can be our worst critics sometimes and I certainly relate to your anxieties.
Truth is do any of us know who we really are? I certainly don't, but what I do know is that we are all unique. There is no one way to experience the world, no one way to be male, female or other. The important thing is that you be gentle with yourself. It's o.k. to be you just the way you are :)
It's society that likes to put things in boxes, label and rubber stamp things. You are this, you are that, you are the other. It's everywhere, even here. All this noise of social expectation, no wonder we loose ourselves.
I think I've come to the conclusion that I can't personally work all this stuff out in my head, it's like a dog chasing it's tail at some point you just get very disoriented, dizzy and go barf in the corner.
For me I have a vague sense of my truth, nothing more. I sort of know the things that offer relief, that resonate with my core. I certainly know the strong compulsion to express myself, It's nothing I have any control over, it just is. My essence isn't going to change and I guess that's where I find a little peace. In accepting what I already know but am often too afraid to admit. There's a whole lifetime of paper trails to follow if I need clues.
We'll be o.k. When I was having my makeover the other day I was amazed at how unconfident the clinician was about her place in the world. Much of what you are experiencing isn't a transgender thing it's a human thing.
Have a lovely day whatever you get up to. :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Laurie Jeanette,
If I had written that post what would you tell me. You know the answer. You climbed that mountain pass and passed your tipping point miles ago.
We each have our own road in life to take. Sometimes we get stuck in traffic, lost in Yonkers, or temporarily locked out and ask for help to avoid breaking things. None of our roads are perfect - that would be another word for boring. Our roads have twists and turns leading to astonishing discoveries. Beautiful milestones and memories we earn. That haiku from last summer (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,224341.msg2003218.html#msg2003218), a short while and many miles ago.
Look at your avatar, those photos of you smiling with great friends, and with Michelle. Now go look at yourself in your passenger side mirror. The one labeled "Objects in mirror are closer than they appear." You earned who you are, a lady giving smiles all over the place.
As a matter of fact you do own this road. Now go get your license updated so Laurie Jeanette can legally drive.
Whaat the heck are you talking about, girl? You make noise that you are being bypassed by all your friends, and when you have the opportunity to join in and do what you know you want and need to, you get cold feet?
But no tough love here. I'm not criticizing. Believe me, I and everyone else here have been there. But you do know what you have to do, and after you get over this speed bump, you will do it. All the many many people you have touched support you completely and are cheering you on to your happiness and completeness.
Love You, Laurie Jeanette!
Stephanie
Love and hugs Laurie.
Listen to your sisters, they are telling you what I want to tell you now. They see and experience you as woman, so do I. You can trust that.
Laurie, treat life as another road trip. You know how you are on a trip: onward to the next destination. Your next destination is your name change.
Just keep on taking the next step like it is another of your admirers that you are visiting.
Well having done mine it doesn't make me feel any different and still being rather "blokey" in looks and voice its still a step closer to matching me in my head to me as presented. You could change your name to Rudolf the red nosed reindeer loves Christmas for all the difference it makes but when you say Hi my name is Laurie and all your cards and licences match that's got to be GOOD . Then (if you believe this stuff) I am an Aries (the ram) so head down and charge!!!!through life.
Thank you all for your replies. Reading them brought tears to my eyes for the second time in two days. This time however they were tears of appreciation for showing me I have friends that love and care about me. Friends that want to help and do with your kind words.
I am better with it today. I think I was just struck with some panic over what I am about to do. Why it does not fill me with excitement and joy, I don't know. To me it is a huge fearful thing. It is a step that will lead to erasing who I was. I should be happy about that considering how bad I was at being a man. I achieved the goals I'd set for myself and then destroyed each and every one. I failed at every step of the way. I failed as a boy, a man, a husband, a father, and a grandfather. Then why am I having such a hard time letting go of him so I can be who I have wished I was almost all my life? I've burned my bridges, there's no going back. I don't want to. I couldn't if I did, that life is destroyed.
Going to have my name changed is scary for me. It is but the beginning. It opens the door to the things I haven't really thought that much about. Am I a woman? Change the name, change the gender on all my documents, Yes, I can do that but will that make me a woman? No. I don't know how to be a woman paperwork can't change that. Forget the clothes, the wig, and the voice coaching. None of those make me a woman. Boobs and HRT help yes but do the make me a woman? Will GCS? When and what will make me feel like a woman? Am I a woman? I wish I could say yes. I want to say yes. I still can't because I don't accept that I am. I don't know that I am.
I'm stuck somewhere in the middle and afraid of moving. I refuse to go back. I can change my name but what if I'm wrong? What if I do it all and I find out I made a mistake? Why can't I be sure like everyone else?
Doubts. Damn them!
@ Davina I'm a Virgo maybe that's the problem Weaknesses: Shyness, worry, overly critical of self. Constantly worried that they missed a detail that will be impossible to fix, they can get stuck in details, becoming overly critical and concerned about matters that nobody else seems to care much about. OMG that sounds so familiar.
Hugs,
Laurie
Laurie, this is just your fear talking. You have already recognised that which is great. Don't let the fear control you. Recognise it and move on. Legally changing your name is a significant event in your life. Having fears and questions come to the surface is to be expected. But you've got this. I would like to add to the other comments referring you to your recent road trip. Remember the Laurie that got in her lorry and drove it over 10,000 miles around the country meeting all these wonderful people.m? Every single one of those people you met were thrilled to meet you. You are an awesome person. You know who you are.
You said that you don't know "what" you are. Let me help you with that. "What" implies that you are referring to an object or a thing, something deserving of a label or being put in a box. You are none of those. You are YOU, so much more than any label can describe. You are one of a kind, as we all are. You know who you are in your heart. Own it!
Jayne
Quote from: Laurie on April 30, 2018, 03:46:06 PM
Thank you all for your replies. Reading them brought tears to my eyes for the second time in two days. This time however they were tears of appreciation for showing me I have friends that love and care about me. Friends that want to help and do with your kind words.
I am better with it today. I think I was just struck with some panic over what I am about to do. Why it does not fill me with excitement and joy, I don't know. To me it is a huge fearful thing. It is a step that will lead to erasing who I was. I should be happy about that considering how bad I was at being a man. I achieved the goals I'd set for myself and then destroyed each and every one. I failed at every step of the way. I failed as a boy, a man, a husband, a father, and a grandfather. Then why am I having such a hard time letting go of him so I can be who I have wished I was almost all my life? I've burned my bridges, there's no going back. I don't want to. I couldn't if I did, that life is destroyed.
Going to have my name changed is scary for me. It is but the beginning. It opens the door to the things I haven't really thought that much about. Am I a woman? Change the name, change the gender on all my documents, Yes, I can do that but will that make me a woman? No. I don't know how to be a woman paperwork can't change that. Forget the clothes, the wig, and the voice coaching. None of those make me a woman. Boobs and HRT help yes but do the make me a woman? Will GCS? When and what will make me feel like a woman? Am I a woman? I wish I could say yes. I want to say yes. I still can't because I don't accept that I am. I don't know that I am.
I'm stuck somewhere in the middle and afraid of moving. I refuse to go back. I can change my name but what if I'm wrong? What if I do it all and I find out I made a mistake? Why can't I be sure like everyone else?
Doubts. Damn them!
@ Davina I'm a Virgo maybe that's the problem Weaknesses: Shyness, worry, overly critical of self. Constantly worried that they missed a detail that will be impossible to fix, they can get stuck in details, becoming overly critical and concerned about matters that nobody else seems to care much about. OMG that sounds so familiar.
Hugs,
Laurie
@Laurie Very nicely written and a good treatise on being a full-time trans-woman with a female name and documents to match.
Very nice to see your reply with answers and advice that will be a help all of those that have not quite yet gotten near the end of their journey.
Hugs,
Danielle
Can we blame the full moon this weekend for the increase in meltdowns?
Sorry for catching up so late. Having these doubts seems to be part of the transition unfortunately and I do believe any one of us has had them at times. At least I have had those and keep having those. Keep in mind, transitioning is one of the hardest and most challenging things anyone can do. It is also one of the most rewarding ones!
You are a beautiful women Laurie! Not only at the outside but even more important on the inside.
There are several big steps in a transition and every single one will cause doubts. I had written my work coming out email weeks before sending it and I had to wait for a great week of being Sarah to finally have the courage to send it. I hit send and immediately had doubts if it was the right thing.
I am very proud of you taking another big step forward! I know you have doubts, but having had the chance to meet Laurie and see your happiness showed me how far you have come in your journey.
A name is only an outward representation - so changing it to match who you are could be compared to change your makeup or dye your hair a different color (at least that is how I see it)
I know many are dysphoric about their past and go through great efforts to cover up their past. I have decided for myself to accept my old self. It is part of who I am and who I will be in the future. I hope this will also help me not seeing a name change as erasing my past, but in parts it still is.
Stay strong Laurie! You have so many fans and friends around the world (especially considering how we all lined up and fought for an audience with queen Laurie).
Hugs Sarah
Quote from: Laurie on April 30, 2018, 03:46:06 PM
Thank you all for your replies. Reading them brought tears to my eyes for the second time in two days. This time however they were tears of appreciation for showing me I have friends that love and care about me. Friends that want to help and do with your kind words.
I am better with it today. I think I was just struck with some panic over what I am about to do. Why it does not fill me with excitement and joy, I don't know. To me it is a huge fearful thing. It is a step that will lead to erasing who I was. I should be happy about that considering how bad I was at being a man. I achieved the goals I'd set for myself and then destroyed each and every one. I failed at every step of the way. I failed as a boy, a man, a husband, a father, and a grandfather. Then why am I having such a hard time letting go of him so I can be who I have wished I was almost all my life? I've burned my bridges, there's no going back. I don't want to. I couldn't if I did, that life is destroyed.
Going to have my name changed is scary for me. It is but the beginning. It opens the door to the things I haven't really thought that much about. Am I a woman? Change the name, change the gender on all my documents, Yes, I can do that but will that make me a woman? No. I don't know how to be a woman paperwork can't change that. Forget the clothes, the wig, and the voice coaching. None of those make me a woman. Boobs and HRT help yes but do the make me a woman? Will GCS? When and what will make me feel like a woman? Am I a woman? I wish I could say yes. I want to say yes. I still can't because I don't accept that I am. I don't know that I am.
I'm stuck somewhere in the middle and afraid of moving. I refuse to go back. I can change my name but what if I'm wrong? What if I do it all and I find out I made a mistake? Why can't I be sure like everyone else?
Doubts. Damn them!
@ Davina I'm a Virgo maybe that's the problem Weaknesses: Shyness, worry, overly critical of self. Constantly worried that they missed a detail that will be impossible to fix, they can get stuck in details, becoming overly critical and concerned about matters that nobody else seems to care much about. OMG that sounds so familiar.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: sarah1972 on May 01, 2018, 08:18:02 AM
I know many are dysphoric about their past and go through great efforts to cover up their past. I have decided for myself to accept my old self. It is part of who I am and who I will be in the future. I hope this will also help me not seeing a name change as erasing my past, but in parts it still is.
That is such a positive way to look at things. I have just started to embrace my past as forming the person I am today. I guess that is part of the reason I chose Jayne as my name. It isn't too different from John.
Jayne
Quote from: Laurie on April 30, 2018, 01:48:29 AM
....... I have yet to accept myself for who I am. I have not allowed myself to be a woman. At least its not the self hate I had been dealing with. ....
It's good to be home, is it?
Hugs,
Laurie
Yes it is good to see you home :) I applaud your progress you are exactly right you have moved on....12 months ago you were struggling to get past all the self hate and now look at you...happy, with a girlfriend, loving what you have....that is a far better place than you were...by far
Quote from: Laurie on April 30, 2018, 03:46:06 PM
....Am I a woman? Change the name, change the gender on all my documents, Yes, I can do that but will that make me a woman? No. I don't know how to be a woman paperwork can't change that. Forget the clothes, the wig, and the voice coaching. None of those make me a woman. Boobs and HRT help yes but do the make me a woman? Will GCS? When and what will make me feel like a woman? Am I a woman? I wish I could say yes. I want to say yes. I still can't because I don't accept that I am. I don't know that I am.
Hugs,
Laurie
You are a woman, you always have been a woman, you are slow to recognise her(but then most of us are)...you can't learn to be a woman...you can learn all the outward stuff, voice, clothes makeup etc etc but the rest is just you being true to yourself and when you are, that is when your "womanliness" shines through. You and I may never be able to fully extinguish our male conditioning but I for one am not going to stop trying without letting it consiume me.
I understand how it feels not to accept yourself as I still have moments where I think I have dived head first into a straight jacket...but then I only have to sit and listen to the quiet of my inner self to know i have made the right decions. I can become still, the turmoil that used to be my loud and constant companion is now a murmur of its former self.
Should have my new camera b y Friday so maybe we can try a skype?
Take care
Liz
Laurie you are a soul searching kinda gal and a good pal too. Our individual paths have known decades of self doubt, shame and that awful sense of failure. Sometimes this results in internalized transphobia and a reluctance to accept ourselves. I hated being a failed man but love being Tessa now.
For some of us no amount of transitional change, body, comportment, voice or other assistance will get us to self acceptance. For some of us there is also a middle ground or, in my case, the realization and acceptance of having a non binary gender identity. I wish I could clearly parse out all the reasons for being here in this middle ground but suffice it to say this is where I am really happy and need no more to feel content going on six years.
My individual trip is unlike most and no reflection of yours but I share your reluctance to call myself a woman. The language is but a part of feeling very different from other women and men cis ,straight, gay or binary trans.
What I have done is make the changes to my ID and personal affect to reduce the discrimination, bigotry and hassle one can get with mismatched ID and appearance. I have less hassles with TSA/airline travel, police and a sense of confidence having my name and gender more congruent.
I submit that you can own your name and gender while still sorting out your feelings and place in the universe. We need not have all the answers to make changes that work for us right now. While surgery is pretty much irreversible, people have changed their names multiple times. I think we are limited to once a year in Oregon. Damn the torpedoes. Have at it girl!
Did you make the 20 miles ( a doddle for you surly) sorry Laurie not Shirley. Forms deposited?
Quote from: Jayne01 on April 30, 2018, 03:52:52 PM
Laurie, this is just your fear talking. You have already recognized that which is great. Don't let the fear control you. Recognize it and move on. Legally changing your name is a significant event in your life. Having fears and questions come to the surface is to be expected. But you've got this. I would like to add to the other comments referring you to your recent road trip. Remember the Laurie that got in her lorry and drove it over 10,000 miles around the country meeting all these wonderful people.m? Every single one of those people you met were thrilled to meet you. You are an awesome person. You know who you are.
You said that you don't know "what" you are. Let me help you with that. "What" implies that you are referring to an object or a thing, something deserving of a label or being put in a box. You are none of those. You are YOU, so much more than any label can describe. You are one of a kind, as we all are. You know who you are in your heart. Own it!
Jayne
Yes,
@Jayne01, You are right it is fear, more precisely it is panic. Panic and doubt about doing the right thing and yet I know it is the right thing and I need to do this. I will do this. Then I will eventually move on to the next step no doubt full of doubt too. Thank you for your thoughts. I'm surprised you didn't include a slap with them. You are correct, I am Laurie, me, and one of a kind. (That is a good thing for you folks)
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on April 30, 2018, 03:55:25 PM
@Laurie Very nicely written and a good treatise on being a full-time trans-woman with a female name and documents to match.
Very nice to see your reply with answers and advice that will be a help all of those that have not quite yet gotten near the end of their journey.
Hugs,
Danielle
Thank you,
@Alaskan Danielle. I had to laugh a bit at your reply. I'm afraid I wasn't thinking what I was writing would be a help to anyone really. They were more musings from my jumbled thoughts about myself and my current turmoil over changing my name. In the end the change is a necessary step in this process of becoming Laurie. But it will not make me a woman. None of the steps we take can do that. This is because as Liz has said, we are women, we have always been women. Now if I can only come to believe that in my own mind I will be that woman I want to be. I'm working on it.
Quote from: sarah1972 on May 01, 2018, 08:18:02 AM
Can we blame the full moon this weekend for the increase in meltdowns?
Sorry for catching up so late. Having these doubts seems to be part of the transition unfortunately and I do believe any one of us has had them at times. At least I have had those and keep having those. Keep in mind, transitioning is one of the hardest and most challenging things anyone can do. It is also one of the most rewarding ones!
You are a beautiful women Laurie! Not only at the outside but even more important on the inside.
There are several big steps in a transition and every single one will cause doubts. I had written my work coming out email weeks before sending it and I had to wait for a great week of being Sarah to finally have the courage to send it. I hit send and immediately had doubts if it was the right thing.
I am very proud of you taking another big step forward! I know you have doubts, but having had the chance to meet Laurie and see your happiness showed me how far you have come in your journey.
A name is only an outward representation - so changing it to match who you are could be compared to change your makeup or dye your hair a different color (at least that is how I see it)
I know many are dysphoric about their past and go through great efforts to cover up their past. I have decided for myself to accept my old self. It is part of who I am and who I will be in the future. I hope this will also help me not seeing a name change as erasing my past, but in parts it still is.
Stay strong Laurie! You have so many fans and friends around the world (especially considering how we all lined up and fought for an audience with queen Laurie).
Hugs Sarah
Thank you for your thoughts also,
@sarah1972 . Again, I can't see that woman inside or on the outside that many of you say they see. I wish I could. It is what I want. I wish changing my name was as easy as changing my makeup. (Coloring my hair is another matter. I'd need some hair to color first.) But you are right about doubts and taking steps. Each I have undertaken have been full of doubts. Like those before I will take this one.
I am very glad that we did get to meet Sarah. You impressed me with your attitude and resolve to do what you need to do. Just look at you going to the gym and using the locker room that is appropriate for your. I read and enjoy your updates.I do like your avatar too and not just because I took the picture. It reminds me of our meeting each time I see it.
Quote from: ElizabethK on May 02, 2018, 12:45:07 AM
Yes it is good to see you home :) I applaud your progress you are exactly right you have moved on....12 months ago you were struggling to get past all the self hate and now look at you...happy, with a girlfriend, loving what you have....that is a far better place than you were...by far
You are a woman, you always have been a woman, you are slow to recognise her(but then most of us are)...you can't learn to be a woman...you can learn all the outward stuff, voice, clothes makeup etc etc but the rest is just you being true to yourself and when you are, that is when your "womanliness" shines through. You and I may never be able to fully extinguish our male conditioning but I for one am not going to stop trying without letting it consiume me.
I understand how it feels not to accept yourself as I still have moments where I think I have dived head first into a straight jacket...but then I only have to sit and listen to the quiet of my inner self to know i have made the right decions. I can become still, the turmoil that used to be my loud and constant companion is now a murmur of its former self.
Should have my new camera b y Friday so maybe we can try a skype?
Take care
Liz
Thank you
@ElizabethK, You have helped me so much with so many things. You are so right about my being in a far better frame of mind these days. I am not sure I would be here today without your help. I mean that lady. Tears are flowing as I type this. Thank you.
You are always telling me I am a woman and damn it I do want to be one. I wish I could accept what you and others try to tell me but then I run into those acceptance issues. I don't know what it will take to overcome them and accept that yes, I am a woman but I know it will take more than a name and clothes.
Yes, when you get your new webcam we will try both your and mine out with Skype.
Quote from: Tessa James on May 02, 2018, 01:53:41 PM
Laurie you are a soul searching kinda gal and a good pal too. Our individual paths have known decades of self doubt, shame and that awful sense of failure. Sometimes this results in internalized transphobia and a reluctance to accept ourselves. I hated being a failed man but love being Tessa now.
For some of us no amount of transitional change, body, comportment, voice or other assistance will get us to self acceptance. For some of us there is also a middle ground or, in my case, the realization and acceptance of having a non binary gender identity. I wish I could clearly parse out all the reasons for being here in this middle ground but suffice it to say this is where I am really happy and need no more to feel content going on six years.
My individual trip is unlike most and no reflection of yours but I share your reluctance to call myself a woman. The language is but a part of feeling very different from other women and men cis ,straight, gay or binary trans.
What I have done is make the changes to my ID and personal affect to reduce the discrimination, bigotry and hassle one can get with mismatched ID and appearance. I have less hassles with TSA/airline travel, police and a sense of confidence having my name and gender more congruent.
I submit that you can own your name and gender while still sorting out your feelings and place in the universe. We need not have all the answers to make changes that work for us right now. While surgery is pretty much irreversible, people have changed their names multiple times. I think we are limited to once a year in Oregon. Damn the torpedoes. Have at it girl!
@Tessa James my friend, I thank you for your thoughts and encouragement and you are right I need to go ahead and do this thing. I've gotten over that initial panic and am committed to doing it. Now if I can just get myself there to do it.
Quote from: davina61 on May 02, 2018, 03:28:21 PM
Did you make the 20 miles ( a doddle for you surly) sorry Laurie not Shirley. Forms deposited?
@davina61 , No :embarrassed: I did not. This is an example of why Laurie does not make "Plans". I had set 3 alarms from 5:30am so I would get up eat, dress, do my makeup and drive those 20 miles and be there by 8am to turn these forms in. There was something on the sticky note about these being taken care of 8 or 8:30 to 9am. I got up about 7:30 having dismissed all 3 alarms. /sigh
Again thank all of you for sharing your thoughts and kind comments. I will get the paperwork turned in. When? I don't know, but it will get done. I have said it and because it is posted, I am committed to doing it.
Love & Hugs,
Laurie
SLAP!!!!!
Is that better? I'd hate to disappoint you. [emoji57]
Laurie, you have come so far since I first met you here on the forum. And you have helped me along on my journey. You are having trouble seeing yourself as a woman. Is it enough for you to know that we all see you as a woman and a good friend? It makes no difference to me or anyone else here, I'm sure, how you see yourself. We just want you to be happy. You are a really cool person named Laurie, soon to be backed up by official ID documentation. Enjoy the person you are without putting too much pressure on yourself to "see" a woman in the mirror. Allow your story to unfold naturally. We already love you for who you are.
Jayne
PS: <<<SLAP!!!>>> (Just so you know it's me [emoji16] )
Quote from: Laurie on April 30, 2018, 01:48:29 AMHow can you feel like a woman when you have no idea what a woman feels?
I know exactly what you mean by this. I don't know what it feels like to be a woman either. But then, neither do I know what it feels like to be a man. What I feel like, what I have always felt like, is ME! Whatever the heck that is.
Intellectually, I know enough of the biology to know that I have always been a woman. A woman who thought she was a man for a long time. I was confused enough to delay taking action for over 60 years. But that is not feelings. What my feelings told me, and still tell me, is that I am me. So the categories don't help me.
What helped was knowing what this "me" wanted. I wanted a female presentation. My earliest trans memory was of wanting to be the girl in the photo. Not just wanting to be "a girl", whatever that meant (and at the time, I had no idea wat it meant), but in particular wanting to wear that pretty blue dress. All my life, I didn't know what being a woman or a man felt like, but I knew what I wanted: a feminine presentation.
So now, I have that feminine presentation, and I am happy with it. I still don't know what being a woman feels like, but I don't care. I am a woman, so I guess this is what being a woman feels like.
Part of that feminine presentation, a necessary part to complete that presentation, was changing my name to a feminine one.
My strategy all along has been to not agonize over stuff I don't understand. Or stuff that I have no control over. Once I realized that I did understand being trans, and I did have control over my presentation, it was full speed ahead.
I don't know if any of this strikes a chord with you. Hopefully, you find it helpful. We don't need total certainty in our lives. We just need a direction.
For me the thought of walking outside without my wig and face on is just unthinkable now. I don't think I could do it and probably a strong indication I'm in the right ballpark.
Thing is none of us know what it is to be anything other than ourselves. Our realities are tied to our unique experience, It's only when start comparing that we loose sight of who we are.
I prefer the question 'do I feel like a man?'. I have a whole lifetime of experience to help me answer that one. I don't.
I have a few happy memories of he that I'm allowing some space to grieve over. It's not easy for sure, letting go is hard, nobody's taught me how to grieve, but it doesn't alter my truth.
Transitioning is a process, it's the well documented 'in-betweens' stage that are the hardest because the questions are neither from one side or the other. This is temporary, at some point the balance will shift and you will be able to experience the world as yourself.
Just some ramblings Laurie, I certainly don't have all the answers but I can relate to your thoughts and these are just some of mine.
Have an awesome day, I'm just off to vote but there's nothing to vote for. What's a girl to do?
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
It's done. Papers signed, dated, turned in, and money paid. OMG !! What have I done?
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
What have you done? Made all of us very proud of you! So happy Laurie!
Quote from: Laurie on May 03, 2018, 10:51:52 AM
It's done. Papers signed, dated, turned in, and money paid. OMG !! What have I done?
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Quote from: Laurie on May 03, 2018, 10:51:52 AM
It's done. Papers signed, dated, turned in, and money paid. OMG !! What have I done?
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Congrats!!!
WHOA! Laurie is Laurie! Yaaaaayyyyyyy!
And Sadie, this is so true and perceptive:
Quote from: Shy on May 03, 2018, 03:45:29 AM
I prefer the question 'do I feel like a man?'. I have a whole lifetime of experience to help me answer that one. I don't.
Yay! Now you are you!
Always loved the name it has Laurie written all over it ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Way to go Laurie!
What have you done? You've done exactly what you have been wanting to do for a long time. I'm proud of you girl!
Jayne
Quote from: Laurie on May 03, 2018, 10:51:52 AM
It's done. Papers signed, dated, turned in, and money paid. OMG !! What have I done?
What have you done? You made me break into my happy dance! [emoji1380]
Happy dance x 2 , nice one Miss Laureata
OOOOPs everyone. The turning in of the paperwork is done and fees paids. Now I wait for a court date. sorry if I confused you.
Hugs.
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on May 03, 2018, 02:42:27 PM
OOOOPs everyone. The turning in of the paperwork is done and fees paids. Now I wait for a court date. sorry if I confused you.
Hugs.
Laurie
No confusion here. Just happy for you that you took that first step. That is always the hardest one. The good news is we get to be all excited for you again when the court date arrives and your new name becomes official.
Hugs,
Jayne
Quote from: Laurie on May 03, 2018, 02:42:27 PM
OOOOPs everyone. The turning in of the paperwork is done and fees paids. Now I wait for a court date. sorry if I confused you.
Hugs.
Laurie
No more than an average days confusion here :) You don't need a rubber stamp to confirm it, you're Laurie. ;D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Yay!! Laurie's gonna be Laurie!! :D
I'm so proud of Laurie for doing this.
I remember my courthouse trip in November 2016, to file my papers and get a court date. My stomach was in knots, my head full of "what if..." worries. I had carefully filled out the 5 'typewritten only' forms, all using scans and a laser printer to get everything just right.
Naturally, stuff happened. "Oh, these forms need to be signed off by a probate judge." Huh? But I don't have a court date... "Upstairs, Room 206. Next!"
So, I got in the queue upstairs. Eventually a clerk glanced at the papers, hit them with a rubber stamp with the judges 'signature', and said they were OK and ready to file. Back downstairs, take a number, wait some more...
It took me about 5 hours to file my name change stuff under the old California laws. Now, like Oregon, the process here is much easier and the forms much simpler.
Still, unnerving to be making such a major change for my life, yet ultimately totally worth it. But I sure did worry...
Laurie, you are going to be just fine. You'll have documents to match the woman you are, and there's a certain comfort in that. You'll see...
Laurie your many friends here have never known some guy named Leonard. We have known YOU! Trouble is you and I have fought a decades long internal battle with ourselves about our shame while being confronted with those unsettling images of someone who looked like a guy. Mirrors and pictures oh my!
Damn hard to erase those images from our memories and the life of experience associating as "him". We give ourselves this luxury of self liberation and we might as well marinate in the truth that others see in us.
We see Laurie!
Oh my gosh! Thank you everyone for your support. I already admitted my time of panic before going to file those papers and to be honest there is still some feeling of doubt about if I am doing the right thing or at the right time. I had to discuss my feelings with a few of you and that helped a lot as did the responses to it here. Because of that I was able to get up way earlier than I am normally wont to do, get ready and make it to the records department window at the designated time. When it was my turn I was able to calmly go to the window, show my ID and sign my legal name more legibly than I have been able to sign it in years. With all that done the clerk kept 2 of the forms and sent me to the cashier to pay the fees. There also I had no issues. I was asked it I really wanted 10 copies and I told the clerk "yes" and that I would rather have that many now rather than have to order more. They are only $5.25 a piece here so what the hey? I whipped out my debit card and took care of the bill. Easy peasy right? Now, I have 3 - 4 week to worry about it before I get to know when I have to stand in front of a judge and make it real.
Again, thank all of you that commented and helped me get past my panic. Please stand by... you may be needed again.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on May 04, 2018, 04:11:27 PM
...Please stand by... you may be needed again.
Slap cannon is locked and loaded!
I doubt I will need to use it, but just in case, I have it on standby.
You've got this, Laurie!!!
Jayne
Thanks Jayne
Quote from: Laurie on May 04, 2018, 04:11:27 PM
Oh my gosh! Thank you everyone for your support. I already admitted my time of panic before going to file those papers and to be honest there is still some feeling of doubt about if I am doing the right thing or at the right time. I had to discuss my feelings with a few of you and that helped a lot as did the responses to it here. Because of that I was able to get up way earlier than I am normally wont to do, get ready and make it to the records department window at the designated time. When it was my turn I was able to calmly go to the window, show my ID and sign my legal name more legibly than I have been able to sign it in years. With all that done the clerk kept 2 of the forms and sent me to the cashier to pay the fees. There also I had no issues. I was asked it I really wanted 10 copies and I told the clerk "yes" and that I would rather have that many now rather than have to order more. They are only $5.25 a piece here so what the hey? ....
{
Smart move girl. I found I had way too many people and places to "fix" with the correct version. Those copies are needed
Tonight's update is nothing to get excited about. In fact I wouldn't even read it and I haven't even written it yet.
No word on a court date. - It's too early.
I scheduled 4 electrolysis sessions this month. Already went to one and the last is a 2 hour session on the 31st.
I scheduled and appointment with my therapist for the 15th before my appointment with my pill pusher - Psych nurse practitioner.
I went for a 5 mile walk today and am in need of a shower.
After a shower I'm going to bed.
See? Not worth the time to read it.
Goodnight,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on May 13, 2018, 10:43:32 PM
Tonight's update is nothing to get excited about. In fact I wouldn't even read it and I haven't even written it yet.
No word on a court date. - It's too early.
I scheduled 4 electrolysis sessions this month. Already went to one and the last is a 2 hour session on the 31st.
I scheduled and appointment with my therapist for the 15th before my appointment with my pill pusher - Psych nurse practitioner.
I went for a 5 mile walk today and am in need of a shower.
After a shower I'm going to bed.
See? Not worth the time to read it.
Goodnight,
Laurie
Ok sister! Are you looking for a slap, I haven't given you one in a while, are you feeling withdrawal symptoms?
What's with the comments about your post not being worth reading? Maybe you should go sit yourself on top of your own fridge for a while. People are interested to know show you are going, even if it's just a small update, I know I am interested.
I am still excited for you for your upcoming court date, whenever that may be. How is your electrolysis going? Do you have much more to do until you are finished? I hope your therapy appointment goes well. You appear to be in a really good place lately. That Michelle girl seems to have sorted you out and put a smile on your face.
Good work with the 5 mile walk. It seems as though you need to take a selfie and send it to
@Alaskan Danielle for her Hot and Sweaty montage.
Keep your updates coming, I am interested.
Jayne
We are in your court, and hope you don't find that shocking.
Now that is life, not every day/week is exciting but that does not mean no one is not interested, TBH you would have a job to match your travels!!!!! Hugs and XXXXXs (not wanting to make your GF jealous!!) Time for a shower catch you later (see)
Quote from: Laurie on May 13, 2018, 10:43:32 PM
Tonight's update is nothing to get excited about. In fact I wouldn't even read it and I haven't even written it yet.
No word on a court date. - It's too early.
I scheduled 4 electrolysis sessions this month. Already went to one and the last is a 2 hour session on the 31st.
I scheduled and appointment with my therapist for the 15th before my appointment with my pill pusher - Psych nurse practitioner.
I went for a 5 mile walk today and am in need of a shower.
After a shower I'm going to bed.
See? Not worth the time to read it.
Goodnight,
Laurie
Now I would have thought there are a few things missing off that list...one of them being "Skyped with Liz"...never mind, I am sure you will have it on another one ;D
Good to hear you are still slogging out the miles...its good for you...I am now on a quest to improve my fitiness ahead of upcomming events but I don't think I would make 5 miles. Phew lucky to do 1 I should think. ;)
chat soon
Liz
Just a minor update...
(https://i.imgur.com/Pq3lcrU.jpg)
Quote from: Laurie on May 17, 2018, 07:31:19 PM
Just a minor update...
(https://i.imgur.com/Pq3lcrU.jpg)
Dear Laurie .... wow whee.....
Congratulations are in order for you. This is a terrific and wonderful moment for you in you transitiion journey. Be certain to keep a copy of that document and also mark the date down in your personal journal and calendar.
Again, this is wonderful news for you and for us to be able to celebrate with you.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Woo-hoo, congratulations, Laurie!! You are officially YOU!
Congratulations Laurie Jeanette! was it a bit of a surprise?
I started crying in front of my grandson when I heard this, had to leave the room.
Laurie you did it!! We first talked about this almost a year ago and I am so happy for you!
Now comes the part I didn't previously understand - the impact when you receive and start using your new ID. It's difficult to describe how great this feels but you are about to find out.
Quote from: Laurie on May 17, 2018, 07:31:19 PM
Just a minor update...
(https://i.imgur.com/Pq3lcrU.jpg)
Happy dance!
Happy dance!
Happy dance!
Congratulations, Ms. Laurie Jeanette Blackline!!
Stephanie Rhapsody Youknow
This was a COMPLETE surprise. I thought I was waiting for a letter from the court giving me a date to appear. NOT that it was DONE! I saw the envelope and sent a picture of it to Michelle. Then I opened it. I think I'm in shock! I share the news with her, Liz, and Jessica then posted it here.
Thank you
@Alaskan Danielle,
@Jessica, and
@KathyLauren,
@Kendra ,
@Steph2.0 OMG OMG OMG It's real! It's Done!
Hugs,
Laurie
Wow. Congrats. You must be over the moon happy girl.
Quote from: Donna on May 17, 2018, 08:06:11 PM
Wow. Congrats. You must be over the moon happy girl.
Thank you Donna. I'm not sure just how I feel atm. I can't believe it is done. It is real. I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire.
Hugs,
Laurie
Laurie Jeanette Wickwire,
GOOD FOR YOU!!!!
Stevi
Congratulations Laurie, it is a big and rewarding step. Deb and I are happy for you.
Tia Anne
I almost missed this... CONGRATULATIONS!!
Very happy for you Miss Laurie!
Quote from: Stevi on May 17, 2018, 08:50:24 PM
Laurie Jeanette Wickwire,
GOOD FOR YOU!!!!
Stevi
Thank you
@Stevi Like everything I do, this was an unplanned surprise.
Quote from: Anne Blake on May 17, 2018, 09:17:53 PM
Congratulations Laurie, it is a big and rewarding step. Deb and I are happy for you.
Tia Anne
And thank you also Tia. Please pass my thank you on to Deb too. While you are at it you both can hug each other for me. Love ya both.
Quote from: sarah1972 on May 17, 2018, 09:24:31 PM
I almost missed this... CONGRATULATIONS!!
Very happy for you Miss Laurie!
Sarah I thank you too. I am still trying to absorb it.
Hugs for all,
(officially) Laurie
Wow!! Tears are trickling down.
Damn Miss Laurie Wickwire you did it!!
Congratulations. That's all...just congrats and a hug.
Now you don't have to worry about the guards at 2 am on I-10 rest areas.
Those of us who are not at the same place you are and see what is ahead, that we have not even thought of like a court name change, find this eye-opening. Imagining myself...is very intense. Intense but now a part of my transition. What will it be like for me.
Quote from: JulieOnHerWay on May 17, 2018, 11:35:13 PM
Wow!! Tears are trickling down.
Damn Miss Laurie Wickwire you did it!!
Congratulations. That's all...just congrats and a hug.
Now you don't have to worry about the guards at 2 am on I-10 rest areas.
Those of us who are not at the same place you are and see what is ahead, that we have not even thought of like a court name change, find this eye-opening. Imagining myself...is very intense. Intense but now a part of my transition. What will it be like for me.
Thank you
@JulieOnHerWay ,
This was a surprise to me. Oregon, where I live now, had made the process easier to get a name change including the forms. I filled out the forms and turned them in (not doctor letter required), paid the fees and waited for them to tell me the court date. Instead of sending me a letter with a court date they sent me my copies of the judgement! It was all done and official.
Washington State where I was born, has also made some changes. One that I am in need of now is changes to my birth certificate. I no longer need a doctors letter to change my gender on it but do need a court order copy to get my name corrected. So it is also a fill out the form, enclose the court name judgement and pay my money to get both changed and a new copy or two.
And so the process of changing everything begins.
Hugs,
Laurie
The old roadblocks are falling.
And Miss Laurie is leading the way. Thank you.
Quote from: Laurie on May 17, 2018, 08:12:33 PM
Thank you Donna. I'm not sure just how I feel atm. I can't believe it is done. It is real. I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire.
Hugs,
Laurie
Well, what a lovely surprise! Congratulations Laurie Jeanette Wickwire, it is a pleasure to meet you. I am Jayne (unofficially [emoji12] )
Jayne
Thank you Jayne and it is very nice to meet you too.
Hugs,
(officially) Laurie
And I have to find this out by trawling through your thread!!!!!!!
Congratulations Hon, I mean Laurie.
Lovely!!
Hi official Laurie ;D One of the most courageous, insightful, attentive, caring ladies I have ever had the pleasure to meet.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Wow congrats Laurie!! That's a huge step.
I am so proud to know Ms. Laurie Jeanette Wickwire, and have to congratulate here here as well as privately on taking this huge step forward.
Next, all those fiddly paperwork tasks to get the various documents in line. :)
It's an amazing piece of paper, isn't it? Congratulations, Laurie! :-*
Hugs, Devlyn
Congratulations Laurie. Incredibly exciting to be part of your journey, and amazing how progressive Oregon is. Hugs
Karen
Well done , join the club (bit late but no internet) feels goooooood don't it.
Quote from: Cindy on May 18, 2018, 03:35:19 AM
And I have to find this out by trawling through your thread!!!!!!!
Congratulations Hon, I mean Laurie.
Lovely!!
Thank you Cindy and I'm sorry I didn't tell you directly as I did a few. I told about 5 of my non Susan's friends today and some I have yet to tell. I don't think my head was on right after reading that paper. It is real.. official... I am Laurie.. really! OMG! What have I done?
Love and hugs Cindy.
PS Monday is my 3 month tests again.
Quote from: Laurie on May 18, 2018, 03:47:01 PM
....It is real.. official... I am Laurie.. really! OMG! What have I done?
Slap!!! Shake!!! Hug!!!!!
Sorry, couldn't resist. [emoji16]
That was a friendly slap just so that you know this is real. You know, like when you pinch yourself so you know you are not dreaming. This is real girl!!! You are Laurie! You always were Laurie, now you have an official piece of paper reminding you this this real!
Congratulations.....again.
Hug,
Jayne
Quote from: Shy on May 18, 2018, 04:16:32 AM
Hi official Laurie ;D One of the most courageous, insightful, attentive, caring ladies I have ever had the pleasure to meet.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Hi Sadie. Oh what nice words! Who is this Laurie you know. I'd like to meet her. lol Thank you Hun.
Quote from: Charlie Nicki on May 18, 2018, 09:31:58 AM
Wow congrats Laurie!! That's a huge step.
And thank yo Dani. Yes it is a huge step and I thought I still had time to back out if it came to that. Somehow they just went ahead a ordered it. So it is living up to Laurie's legacy. The court changing my name already was
unplanned. ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Devlyn on May 18, 2018, 12:25:20 PM
It's an amazing piece of paper, isn't it? Congratulations, Laurie! :-*
Hugs, Devlyn
Yes Devyln it is. I keep saying I am Laurie. I say it with awe. Somehow this piece of paper make those words different from all the other times I have said them. Hello, I am Laurie. See? Aren't they awesome words?
Thank you Dev.
Quote from: Karen on May 18, 2018, 01:41:34 PM
Congratulations Laurie. Incredibly exciting to be part of your journey, and amazing how progressive Oregon is. Hugs
Karen
Thank you, Karen. I put this thread out here for everyone can see who I am. Good and bad I am in these posts for all to share. Yes, you and everyone that reads it are a part of my journey as I am a part of theirs. I just hope that my story helps someone else in their own journeys. I have been help by so many others here by sharing their journeys and their posts in mine. I thank everyone for their help.
Yes, Oregon is a fairly accepting state for the LGBTIQ+ community. Those simplifying changes here and in Washington state were changed just this last January. I am so happy they did.
Quote from: davina61 on May 18, 2018, 03:29:36 PM
Well done , join the club (bit late but no internet) feels goooooood don't it.
Hi Davina, I think the shock is wearing off and the "feels good" is setting in. OMG I am really Laurie!! This may take some time to get used to. I should be practicing my signature so I can actually write it when needed.
Thank you Davina. Laurie is born.... where's my cake? lol
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Jayne01 on May 18, 2018, 03:55:43 PM
Slap!!! Shake!!! Hug!!!!!
Sorry, couldn't resist. [emoji16]
That was a friendly slap just so that you know this is real. You know, like when you pinch yourself so you know you are not dreaming. This is real girl!!! You are Laurie! You always were Laurie, now you have an official piece of paper reminding you this this real!
Congratulations.....again.
Hug,
Jayne
Yes Ma'am. Thank you Ma'am May I have another?
lol
Quote from: Laurie on May 18, 2018, 04:30:03 PM
...
Yes Devyln it is. I keep saying I am Laurie. I say it with awe. Somehow this piece of paper make those words different from all the other times I have said them. Hello, I am Laurie. See? Aren't they awesome words?
Thank you Dev.
You have awesome words. The best words. Everyone agrees your words Trump all others. ::) :laugh:
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Michelle_P on May 18, 2018, 12:02:15 PM
I am so proud to know Ms. Laurie Jeanette Wickwire, and have to congratulate her here as well as privately on taking this huge step forward.
Next, all those fiddly paperwork tasks to get the various documents in line. :)
Thank you, Girlfriend. Michelle my belle. This is your fault. You made me do it. You with this silly idea of going on a cruise sometime, somewhere and my needing a passport to do it. I didn't want more official documents in his name so I needed to submit those forms to change his name into mine. It's done. So it is all your fault!! I should make you work on getting everything else changed too. You Started all thins.
Thank you Hon
Hugs & kisses,
Laurie
Quote from: Devlyn on May 18, 2018, 04:36:39 PM
You have awesome words. The best words. Everyone agrees your words Trump all others. ::) :laugh:
Hugs, Devlyn
You Devyln... I see what you did there. Don't make me come out there again to smack you..
Hugs,
Laurie
You two are such characters. Congrats Laurie and that is just wonderful.
I was so happy to hear from you yesterday showing me you have your Name approved. I can remember having the discussion with you some time ago and you were just so sure this would be something you could never achieve...yet here you are. Laurie I hope this give you the impetus to keep moving forward even when things seem impossible.
Congratulations what a great outcome
Take care
Your friend
Liz
Quote from: ElizabethK on May 18, 2018, 04:54:12 PM
I was so happy to hear from you yesterday showing me you have your Name approved. I can remember having the discussion with you some time ago and you were just so sure this would be something you could never achieve...yet here you are. Laurie I hope this give you the impetus to keep moving forward even when things seem impossible.
Congratulations what a great outcome
Take care
Your friend
Liz
Thank you very much Liz. Yes I remember those conversations vividly. It did seem nigh on impossible then and very well could have been. It was a source of much consternation for me. Law changed and someone gave me the impetus to try and wow just look what happened.... I am Laurie!! Really.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on May 18, 2018, 04:38:43 PM
Thank you, Girlfriend. Michelle my belle. This is your fault. You made me do it. You with this silly idea of going on a cruise sometime, somewhere and my needing a passport to do it. I didn't want more official documents in his name so I needed to submit those forms to change his name into mine. It's done. So it is all your fault!! I should make you work on getting everything else changed too. You Started all thins.
Thank you Hon
Hugs & kisses,
Laurie
A cruise??? That sounds like it might involve some planning. Will you be ok following a plan! You poor thing! Have a (((hug)))
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Jayne
Quote from: Jayne01 on May 18, 2018, 07:23:16 PM
A cruise??? That sounds like it might involve some planning. Will you be ok following a plan! You poor thing! Have a (((hug)))
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Jayne
Be careful Jayne you will get yourself in trouble for "swearing" if you are not careful [emoji39][emoji39]
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote from: ElizabethK on May 18, 2018, 07:26:43 PM
Be careful Jayne you will get yourself in trouble for "swearing" if you are not careful [emoji39][emoji39]
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Oh, Laurie (officially) doesn't scare me. The worse she can do is give me a slap, which I am used to now. She can try putting me up on the fridge, but that would mean she has to come here to do so. I will gladly get on the fridge for that, she owes me some real life hugs.[emoji12][emoji16]
Jayne
Quote from: Jayne01 on May 18, 2018, 07:33:30 PMShe can try putting me up on the fridge, but that would mean she has to come here to do so.
Cruise = ccrossiing the ocean. I'd watch out if I were you!
Boat Trip?
@Steph2.0 : Maybe time to start a new map ;D
@Michelle_P: Guess time to book those cruise tickets :-) Laurie deserves a little treat for being so brave.
Quote from: KathyLauren on May 18, 2018, 08:30:24 PM
Quote from: Jayne01 on May 18, 2018, 07:33:30 PMShe can try putting me up on the fridge, but that would mean she has to come here to do so.
Cruise = ccrossiing the ocean. I'd watch out if I were you!
Quote from: Jayne01 on May 18, 2018, 07:23:16 PM
A cruise??? That sounds like it might involve some planning. Will you be ok following a plan! You poor thing! Have a (((hug)))
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Jayne
@Jayne01 ,
Girl you are sooooooo gunna get slapped. You know better than to use such words in reference to me and in MY thread yet!! Had you been paying attention you would have been aware that Michelle has that aspect already covered. I DO NOT make plans!
Quote from: Laurie on May 18, 2018, 09:03:39 PM
@Jayne01 ,
Girl you are sooooooo gunna get slapped. You know better than to use such words in reference to me and in MY thread yet!! Had you been paying attention you would have been aware that Michelle has that aspect already covered. I DO NOT make plans!
I wasn't
planning to say anything to earn me a slap, but if you are
planning a slap for me, I better
plan to receive said slap. But since Michelle is in charge of all the
planning, then all will be ok.
So when are you
planning a visit down under? [emoji12]
Jayne
It's really very simple. I will have Laurie's passport info to file when I get the cruise tickets and fill in the passenger data. Then, on departure day, I'll show up at her apartment, tell her to pack for a certain number of days, and load her into the car.
Easy peasy.
No planning or stressful calendar dates for her to fret over or lose track of. It Just Happens.
And Jayne, there are many cruises that depart from Vancouver, BC, Seattle, and San Francisco that end up in Brisbane, Melbourne, or Sydney, Australia. I've often thought that would be a very civilized way to cross the Pacific.
Quote from: Michelle_P on May 18, 2018, 09:48:57 PM
It's really very simple. I will have Laurie's passport info to file when I get the cruise tickets and fill in the passenger data. Then, on departure day, I'll show up at her apartment, tell her to pack for a certain number of days, and load her into the car.
Easy peasy.
No planning or stressful calendar dates for her to fret over or lose track of. It Just Happens.
I like the way you think
Another small update. Yesterday I had a followup eye appointment at the VA. I was surprised that I was named correctly and correct pronouns were used by all three people I encountered during my appointment. This department has historically used my now defunct old name. I have yet to make my name official in the VA records. Apparently they have found a way to put a note in their system.
Yesterday was also another uneventful electrolysis session, unless you think of a tear or two and a sneeze as events.
The rest of the day was doing a bit of shopping at Target and attempting to prepare for my late evening visitor on Monday night. Last night I woke about a quarter of two, and shortly thereafter, I found myself emptying the contents of my digestive tract from both ends. This lasted until around 3:30 with many sudden trips to the toilet. At times I wondered which end I should have over it. I felt fine before and after except for being tired after. Why this happened ,is beyond me. My sister ate the same things I did for supper. For lunch I had a salad. I skipped breakfast to prepare for my appointment at the VA. The one really unusual item I ate that she did not, was a sawdust bar (health food) bar I got free with a coupon. It was kosher, non-gmo, gluten free, non-dairy, and vegan. Oh, it was probably Ogranic too. Yeah, I knew I should not have eaten it but, it was free. Well NEVER again! Only GOOD food for this girl from here on out!
Tomorrow, is cancer day again. Oh joy! Labs, IV insertion for contrast, CT Scan, and then the wait for the verdict from my oncologist later in the afternoon. What FUN, huh! Will it be another 3 month reprieve? Or will she tell me it has returned? Stay tuned to this channel...
Later, as I mentioned earlier, Michelle arrives for a week long visit!! Now, there is some "GOOD" news!! Well, I best get back to cleaning up and rearranging the furniture, (rumor has it I'm pretty good at it). ;D ;D ;D
Hugs for everyone!!
Laurie
You didn't by chance have some Romaine Lettuce at that salad bar? If you did, unfortunately it's something that's going around. Fortunately if that was it, the harvest just ended and the last of it should be gone shortly. They know it's from Yuma but they haven't been able to find the field it came from.
Almost sounds like Montezuma's revenge.....hope you're feeling better
Quote from: Dena on May 20, 2018, 02:26:40 PM
You didn't by chance have some Romaine Lettuce at that salad bar? If you did, unfortunately it's something that's going around. Fortunately if that was it, the harvest just ended and the last of it should be gone shortly. They know it's from Yuma but they haven't been able to find the field it came from.
Thanks Dena but... I heard about the romaine lettuce when I was down in Walnut Creek with Michelle. I have not had any romaine lettuce or anything with romaine in it since. Not that.
Quote from: markie on May 20, 2018, 02:29:50 PM
Almost sounds like Montezuma's revenge.....hope you're feeling better
I've been in Montezuma prone areas w/o problems. I'm going to blame it on that bar of sawdust. I felt okay after getting everything out and just before it started. Dry heaves are terrible and that is how I knew it was all out. Montezuma's revenge is typically not associated with vomiting and lasts about 4 days. I think I can safely say it was not that.
Thank You for the try Markie.
Laurie
Hi Girlfriend,
Good luck with your testing tomorrow, we will be praying for you. And I guess that I don't need to add instructions to enjoy the heck out of your visit with that San Francisco girl, you know the one, the gal with the honey badgers...
Tia Anne
Quote from: Anne Blake on May 20, 2018, 03:01:03 PM
Hi Girlfriend,
Good luck with your testing tomorrow, we will be praying for you. And I guess that I don't need to add instructions to enjoy the heck out of your visit with that San Francisco girl, you know the one, the gal with the honey badgers...
Tia Anne
Thank you Tia and Deb. Yep I know which bay area girl you mean. I've been cleaning up all week for her. And you can bet enjoyment will be had by both of us.
Laurie
You didn't read the small print did you. "warning eating this bar may cause you to involuntarily turn inside out. Only consume in a well ventilated area and stay away from naked flames!" ;D
Best wishes tomorrow, hope all goes well for you.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
I even missed all that "silly fad" print on it... you know that "healthy" nonsense. Somebody bring me a garden hose or some creek water. I'm thirsty. Pesticides are good for the plants and selective cross breeding (GMO) has been done for centuries and makes them better. Did I mention I love meats, fish, and milk and cheeses?
Silly Nonsense I tells ya ! Nonsense!
(The foregoing was the personal opinion of the author. You can believe what you want)
Thank you for the good wishes Sadie.
Hugs,
Laurie
I'm sorry you turned inside out briefly. It's never any fun when that happens. It certainly sounds like something you ate. You need to be careful with that "healthy" stuff.... it ain't good for ya! Many years ago, our water supply was compromised by an algae bloom. The news kept reporting of elevated levels of Cryptosporidium and Giardia and we should not drink tap water without boiling it. Bottled water sales went through the roof, but I never worried about it. I continued drinking tap water with no ill effects. Hmmmmm, come to think of it, that could explain a few things. [emoji12]
I hope all goes well with your tests tomorrow. My best thoughts and wishes are with you.
Hug,
Jayne
Quote from: Laurie on May 20, 2018, 01:44:24 PM
Another small update. Yesterday I had a followup eye appointment at the VA. I was surprised that I was named correctly and correct pronouns were used by all three people I encountered during my appointment. This department has historically used my now defunct old name. I have yet to make my name official in the VA records. Apparently they have found a way to put a note in their system.
Yesterday was also another uneventful electrolysis session, unless you think of a tear or two and a sneeze as events.
The rest of the day was doing a bit of shopping at Target and attempting to prepare for my late evening visitor on Monday night. Last night I woke about a quarter of two, and shortly thereafter, I found myself emptying the contents of my digestive tract from both ends. This lasted until around 3:30 with many sudden trips to the toilet. At times I wondered which end I should have over it. I felt fine before and after except for being tired after. Why this happened ,is beyond me. My sister ate the same things I did for supper. For lunch I had a salad. I skipped breakfast to prepare for my appointment at the VA. The one really unusual item I ate that she did not, was a sawdust bar (health food) bar I got free with a coupon. It was kosher, non-gmo, gluten free, non-dairy, and vegan. Oh, it was probably Ogranic too. Yeah, I knew I should not have eaten it but, it was free. Well NEVER again! Only GOOD food for this girl from here on out!
Tomorrow, is cancer day again. Oh joy! Labs, IV insertion for contrast, CT Scan, and then the wait for the verdict from my oncologist later in the afternoon. What FUN, huh! Will it be another 3 month reprieve? Or will she tell me it has returned? Stay tuned to this channel...
Later, as I mentioned earlier, Michelle arrives for a week long visit!! Now, there is some "GOOD" news!! Well, I best get back to cleaning up and rearranging the furniture, (rumor has it I'm pretty good at it). ;D ;D ;D
Hugs for everyone!!
Laurie
Good luck for tomorrow I will be thinking of you. I have fingers, toes, arms, legs and eyes all crossed for you.
Hope you are feeling a bit better as well as being clean as whistle (inside and out).
So only a one more sleep [emoji42] till your life improves with the arrival of your special "friend" I am sure you two will have a fabulous time.
Take care
Liz
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Good luck with all your tests Laurie, I hope everything comes back clean!
So sorry to hear you have been sick - maybe just nervous about all the tests and the arrival of your special friend?
Please let us know how the tests went, we all keep our fingers crossed for you :-)
Hugs, Sarah
Vegemite and a pie floater will fix you up.
<I realise that this won't mean much to many but they have agreed to fix the van. I am one happy girl and so is Rebecca. They even warned me to up the insurance 10 fold as it is worth way more than the list price. >
Quote from: Cindy on May 20, 2018, 11:52:11 PM
Vegemite and a pie floater will fix you up.
<I realise that this won't mean much to many but they have agreed to fix the van. I am one happy girl and so is Rebecca. They even warned me to up the insurance 10 fold as it is worth way more than the list price. >
WoW!! Cindy that is great they'll fix the van. I am sure that takes one more load from your mind. I hope it does not take too long to fix.
Love ya. Tell Rebecca I said hello.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on May 18, 2018, 04:30:03 PM
Yes Devyln it is. I keep saying I am Laurie. I say it with awe. Somehow this piece of paper make those words different from all the other times I have said them. Hello, I am Laurie. See? Aren't they awesome words?
It is awesome ain't it?. I'm two months past the legal change and I still do this.
Quote from: Laurie on May 18, 2018, 04:30:03 PM
Hi Davina, I think the shock is wearing off and the "feels good" is setting in. OMG I am really Laurie!! This may take some time to get used to. I should be practicing my signature so I can actually write it when needed.
Hugs,
Laurie
I started signing every thing "TJ W********" more than a year before I got legal. When the first time came that I could legally sign Tonya, I realized I had never written it out by hand before. So I signed whatever is was "TJ" and promptly started practicing my Tonya signature.
I still smile everytime I get things addressed to Tonya.
Congrats on being legal and good luck on your tests.
Tonya
Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk
Laurie I really hope your tests go well. Having that C hanging over you is no picnic and a reprieve is so prayed for for you.
Thank you, Tonga. Awesome it is. I had to sign something today at the VA and signed my old name because I haven't changed it there (or anywhere) yet. I didn't want to confuse them.
Quote from: TonyaW on May 21, 2018, 10:36:10 AM
It is awesome ain't it?. I'm two months past the legal change and I still do this.
I started signing every thing "TJ W********" more than a year before I got legal. When the first time came that I could legally sign Tonya, I realized I had never written it out by hand before. So I signed whatever is was "TJ" and promptly started practicing my Tonya signature.
I still smile everytime I get things addressed to Tonya.
Congrats on being legal and good luck on your tests.
Tonya
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Thank you Donna for the prayers. I did get another reprieve.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Donna on May 21, 2018, 11:01:18 AM
Laurie I really hope your tests go well. Having that C hanging over you is no picnic and a reprieve is so prayed for for you.
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*gives you a big hug*
No, Laurie. You got another sign that you can make your life how you want it to be, sweetie. Go do it. :)
I believe in you.
Laurie,
Deb and I are so happy to hear of your latest reprieve, great news!
Tia Anne
Poked, prodded, and made to glow in the dark once again..... The verdict? Another reprieve, no cancer was found! Come back in three months.
Also of note is that I was correctly gendered by everyone. There was one man that I caught looking at me... I just gave him the smile, watched him shake his head and continued on his way. No problem for me and I don't care what he thought
Hugs,
Laurie
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That's great news Laurie, I really get anxious as March roles around every year for my yearly results and follow up. It's great to get a clean one, I remember when I was doing my 3 month dr appointment and how I dreaded them. Went to 6 months and then yearly. It's great now 11 years down the road. Best wishes on clear tests from here on out.
YEAH LAURIE! Another good thing happening to you! So glad to hear nothing was found.
I am bit worried about the "glow in the dark" - Wouldn't this make you easier to be found by the honey badgers?
Hope you can celebrate tonight! So many things to celebrate for you :-)
Enjoy your visitor!!
Hugs, Sarah
Quote from: Laurie on May 21, 2018, 03:24:34 PM
Poked, prodded, and made to glow in the dark once again..... The verdict? Another reprieve, no cancer was found! Come back in three months.
Also of note is that I was correctly rendered by everyone. There was one man that I caught looking at me... I just gave him the smile, watched him shake his head and continued on his way. No problem for me and I don't care what he thought
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Due to time difference missed some so to back track , at least it wasn't the butter chicken making you ill. Good news on your results , had my fingers crossed for you (managed to look on here lunch time) . Now don't take any messing from you know who as I know she wont go on top of the fridge, Have a nice time XXXXXX and hugs to you both.
So glad to see this! No cancer. Wahoo!!
And keep ignoring (or better yet, smiling) at idiots who are on the wrong side of history... you are making the world a better place.
Quote from: Laurie on May 21, 2018, 03:24:34 PM
Poked, prodded, and made to glow in the dark once again..... The verdict? Another reprieve, no cancer was found! Come back in three months.
Also of note is that I was correctly rendered by everyone. There was one man that I caught looking at me... I just gave him the smile, watched him shake his head and continued on his way. No problem for me and I don't care what he thought
Hugs,
Laurie
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That's wonderful news Laurie. So happy you have been given the all clear. What a relief it must be for you following the build up of wondering what the results will be every 3 months. Now you can relax and enjoy the company of your visitor.
And nice going with the way you handled the guy lo king at you. No reaction other than a simple smile is the best thing you can do with these kinds of people. That forces him to be all alone with his little mind and thoughts.
(((((HUG)))))
Jayne
Quote from: Laurie on May 21, 2018, 03:24:34 PM
Poked, prodded, and made to glow in the dark once again..... The verdict? Another reprieve, no cancer was found! Come back in three months.
Also of note is that I was correctly rendered by everyone. There was one man that I caught looking at me... I just gave him the smile, watched him shake his head and continued on his way. No problem for me and I don't care what he thought
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Fantastic news and I am so happy for you although being "rendered" must have been painful! ;D
Quote from: ElizabethK on May 21, 2018, 09:01:29 PM
Fantastic news and I am so happy for you although being "rendered" must have been painful! ;D
Thank you Liz. I did see that typo. I thought it would be painful too so I corrected it. Thanks for catching it and pointing it out. ::) ::) ::) ::)
Quote from: Jayne01 on May 21, 2018, 05:18:11 PM
That's wonderful news Laurie. So happy you have been given the all clear. What a relief it must be for you following the build up of wondering what the results will be every 3 months. Now you can relax and enjoy the company of your visitor.
And nice going with the way you handled the guy looking at you. No reaction other than a simple smile is the best thing you can do with these kinds of people. That forces him to be all alone with his little mind and thoughts.
(((((HUG)))))
Jayne
Thanks to you too Jayne. Yes "The Smile" works pretty well. To heck with those kind of people.
Quote from: Kendra on May 21, 2018, 03:58:10 PM
So glad to see this! No cancer. Wahoo!!
And keep ignoring (or better yet, smiling) at idiots who are on the wrong side of history... you are making the world a better place.
Thank you too Kendra. (I'm still gunna smack you when I see you again.
Quote from: davina61 on May 21, 2018, 03:52:41 PM
Due to time difference missed some so to back track , at least it wasn't the butter chicken making you ill. Good news on your results , had my fingers crossed for you (managed to look on here lunch time) . Now don't take any messing from you know who as I know she wont go on top of the fridge, Have a nice time XXXXXX and hugs to you both.
Thanks Davina. Nope wasn't the buttered chicken I haven't attempted it yet. If "she" doesn't behave I have a freezer top for her.
Quote from: sarah1972 on May 21, 2018, 03:31:34 PM
YEAH LAURIE! Another good thing happening to you! So glad to hear nothing was found.
I am bit worried about the "glow in the dark" - Wouldn't this make you easier to be found by the honey badgers?
Hope you can celebrate tonight! So many things to celebrate for you :-)
Enjoy your visitor!!
Hugs, Sarah
And I'll thank you also Sarah. I've gotten used to the glowing in the dark. It just means we won't need a night light tonight. It will fade in a day or so.
Quote from: Donna on May 21, 2018, 03:29:25 PM
That's great news Laurie, I really get anxious as March roles around every year for my yearly results and follow up. It's great to get a clean one, I remember when I was doing my 3 month dr appointment and how I dreaded them. Went to 6 months and then yearly. It's great now 11 years down the road. Best wishes on clear tests from here on out.
Thank you Donna. So you are a survivor yourself I see. I have had it 3 times so far. It has been 3 yrs 9 months since the last go around. They have told me I was going to die in months twice now. I'm still here. But yes it is a bit of a deal having to wonder every 3 months. There is an element of anxiety for sure.
Thank you also to Tia Anne and Deb. Also another thanks to Sephira. I will also thank those that read and cheer me on silently. All of your well wishes and prayers for me are welcome and appreciated..
Hugs,
Laurie
She's here! Goodnight.
Quote from: Laurie on May 22, 2018, 02:18:29 AM
She's here! Goodnight.
That's great.....now I don't want hear from you again for a while. Enjoy your time with your girl. [emoji16]
Have a wonderful time.
Hugs,
Jayne
Yes Laurie I do feel for you from personal experience. They missed some during my surgery in 2007 and I ended up with 48 targeted radiation treatments ( as a Christmas present December 2007 to February 2008) and that seemed to take care of it. Been monitoring ever since.
Thought it jumped to my thyroid in 2013 but the tumor was benign and they just removed all of the right side of the thyroid. 2016 thyroid kicked in again but turned out to be a cyst only.
Currently on my third round of antibiotics and 6 weeks with a bladder infection. That's how it started in 2007. Sick for a year and lost 65 pounds that time.
I'm just not feeling sick so it has to be something unrelated, can't worry about it until the doc makes me worry.
Michelle my belle has left me alone once again. It was wonderful having her here and showing with highlights of meeting and RobynD and friends. Michelle got to see a good sampling of Oregon scenery. Not once did she complain of my breakfasts I served her with the exception of the quantities. Last night we dined at Rudy's in Salem where we shared the entries of a nice ribeye steak and elk chops. Both were delicious and we share a desert of a Marion berry crisp with vanilla ice cream.
After another nice evening at home we got up and had an omelet breakfast of chorizo/ green onion/ red and yellow bell pepper/ and habanero cheddar cheese. Topped with salted tomato and shredded cheese with a sprinkling of chipolti tobasco sauce. One the side were fried diced taters with rosemary, onion and garlic. Yes she again complained about the quantity of food mumbling some nonsense about trying to make he fat so umm ahh uh something else will grow too. I failed to see the issue she was trying to express.
Anyway here I am all alone once again.
Hugs,
Laurie
(https://i.imgur.com/TU8xKH4.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/KyRqefZ.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/9aqhTjx.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/uamTVwe.jpg)
I thought it was the law in America to have giant portions of things. :) Every TV show I've seen reinforces that. If you can eat it in less than 30 minutes, and without a shovel, then it's not big enough and you could go to jail for like 10 years. ;)
Quote from: Laurie on May 29, 2018, 12:56:05 PM
Yes she again complained about the quantity of food mumbling some nonsense about trying to make he fat so umm ahh uh something else will grow too. I failed to see the issue she was trying to express.
I gained SIX POUNDS in a week. AYEEE!
That means I have something like a month of salad lunch and dinners and grapefruit breakfasts ahead of me.
Six pounds... Oh, the things I have to put up with. I tried to commiserate with the honey badgers, but honey badgers don't give a ...
I might add.... I did detect a certain amount of encouragement for Michelle to eat more during our Skype conversation whilst she was having diner...I guess the industrial size parmesan cheese was a bit of a give away LOL...I think you might have been a bit lucky to get away with only 6 Michelle!! :D
Liz
I couldn't let her go hungry could I? Besides, I think she enjoyed being cooked for, for a change. I sure didn't hear her complaining. Even when I had my ears in. (hearing aids) It could be she didn't get her 10k steps in each day. I got more steps in (and other exercise) while she was here than I usually do. I slept most of the day yesterday to catch up on my rest. It was hard work keeping up with her but well worth the effort.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Michelle_P on May 30, 2018, 02:56:47 AM
I gained SIX POUNDS in a week. AYEEE!
That means I have something like a month of salad lunch and dinners and grapefruit breakfasts ahead of me.
Six pounds... Oh, the things I have to put up with. I tried to commiserate with the honey badgers, but honey badgers don't give a ...
Honey Badgers care only about badger chow and tracking Laurie. And Laurie has learned the secret to sooth them also with her gourmet cooking.
How were you able to trick them into leaving their larder and prey.
I know....belly rubs!
Good job you didn't visit me 6LB would be more like 60 with a week here.
Quote from: Jessica on May 30, 2018, 01:56:27 PM
Honey Badgers care only about badger chow and tracking Laurie. And Laurie has learned the secret to sooth them also with her gourmet cooking.
How were you able to trick them into leaving their larder and prey.
I know....belly rubs!
It works...
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180530/002bcc8c96df53b1ca2dbeb14c80bd6c.jpg)
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Today I went to the neighboring town's library and had my signature (Both) witnessed and my swearing that the info on the form was true. The notary then signed and stamped the form. I then took it, another form, one copy of the court order for my name change, and a check, put them in and envelope sealed it and dropped it off at the post office. What was this for you ask? Why to change my name and gender on my birth certificate of course. I should receive 2 corrected official copies in 2 - 3 weeks.
I also stopped by the 2 banks I use and tried to change names on the accounts. No luck on either for different reasons. I'll go back and try again another day.
Tomorrow is my 2 hour visit with Christina. I'll fill her in on the visitor I had recently while she is zapping my face.
I started another medication today. Babapentin, for a constant low grade pain I have had for years now. It hurts more from time to time but it got to be quite a lot when I was visiting my girlfriend last time. It was quite painful quite a bit of the time I was there. Hopefully this will make it go away.
That's all Folks
Hugs,
Laurie
Laurie! I am proud of you. You go girl.
Quote from: Laurie on May 31, 2018, 12:03:44 AM
Today I went to the neighboring town's library and hard my signature (Both) witnessed and my swearing that the info on the form was true. The notary then signed and stamped the form. I then took it, another form, one copy of the court order for my name change, and a check, put them in and envelope sealed it and dropped it off at the post office. What was this for you ask? Why to change my name and gender on my birth certificate of course. I should receive 2 corrected official copies in 2 - 3 weeks.
I also stopped by the 2 banks I use and tried to change names on the accounts. No luck on either for different reasons. I'll go back and try again another day.
Tomorrow is my 2 hour visit with Christina. I'll fill her in on the visitor I had recently while she is zapping my face.
I started another medication today. Babapentin, for a constant low grade pain I have had for years now. It hurts more from time to time but it got to be quite a lot when I was visiting my girlfriend last time. It was quite painful quite a bit of the time I was there. Hopefully this will make it go away.
That's all Folks
Hugs,
Laurie
Congratulations on taking those really important steps to make those changes. I am still finding my old name after over a year since I started changing it
Take care
Liz
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Take 2 (keyboard froze!!) Spent a few hours today sorting name change stuff, TBH bank was one of the easy ones to do but still waiting for new card!!! Tell your bank as your name dosnt match now it makes your a/c illegal so sort it!!!!!
Hi Laurie,
Glad you had a great time with Michelle while she was visiting. I just woke up and reading about the breakfast you cooked for her was making my mouth water! Nice photos too.
Great news about submitting the paperwork to change your birth certificate. There is no stopping you now......you're on fire girl!
Hugs,
Jayne
Hi Laurie! Sorry I've missed so much of your goings on. Congratulations on the all-clear results! Glad the name change finally got done. And I'm happy things are still going great with you and Michelle!
Quote from: Michelle_P on May 30, 2018, 02:56:47 AM
I gained SIX POUNDS in a week. AYEEE!
That means I have something like a month of salad lunch and dinners and grapefruit breakfasts ahead of me.
Six pounds... Oh, the things I have to put up with. I tried to commiserate with the honey badgers, but honey badgers don't give a ...
Oh, I know your pain. Since I've been with Alexa I've put on about 12 pounds. Ugh! Even the move didn't burn much off. Need to start exercising again.
Exercising? ewww too much effort. I prefer to practice portion control myself. The only problem is that I love food and I have never been good a practicing anything. Sigh. I'm doomed to that maternity looks forever.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on June 04, 2018, 09:23:24 PM
Exercising? ewww too much effort. I prefer to practice portion control myself. The only problem is that I love food and I have never been good a practicing anything. Sigh. I'm doomed to that maternity looks forever.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sis, Michelle is a sprinter when she takes a walk, so a few with her will get you enough exercise.
In Astoria I'm certain we can find a nice trail!
Hi y'all,
Well I dragged my sister down to the Bank of America Friday to sign the new signature card and the account was changed from what his name to Laurie Jeanette Wickwire. Saturday I received an email that started out with "Hi Laurie" and told me my new card was ordered. I logged into my online account and was happy to see right there at the top of the page "Laurie Jeanette Wickwire" cooooool !! I recieved another email today telling me my new bank card has been shipped on Saturday. Squeeeeee!
Today I got up, sorted pills, ate breakfast then proceeded to investigate what forms and documentation I would need to renew my drivers license. I filled out the forms, printed them out and proceeded to purtify myself..
(https://i.imgur.com/5n25b2u.png)
Once I was presentable I grabbed my documents and headed off to the Oregon DMV office. After about a half an hour wait I was called to the counter where I presented my renewal form, court order and my old license. I was then given the obligatory vision test required for any 55 and older which I passed no problem. I paid my money, signed the signature card "Laurie Jeanette Wickwire", retrieved my documents and sat down to wait for the new picture to be taken. 5 minutes later I was having my photo taken and was handed my new interim license. My official renewed license should be here in 5 to 10 working days. Squeeeee!
Change is in the air. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on June 04, 2018, 09:48:06 PM
Hi y'all,
Well I dragged my sister down to the Bank of America Friday to sign the new signature card and the account was changed from what his name to Laurie Jeanette Wickwire. Saturday I received an email that started out with "Hi Laurie" and told me my new card was ordered. I logged into my online account and was happy to see right there at the top of the page "Laurie Jeanette Wickwire" cooooool !! I recieved another email today telling me my new bank card has been shipped on Saturday. Squeeeeee!
Today I got up, sorted pills, ate breakfast then proceeded to investigate what forms and documentation I would need to renew my drivers license. I filled out the forms, printed them out and proceeded to purtify myself..
(https://i.imgur.com/5n25b2u.png)
Once I was presentable I grabbed my documents and headed off to the Oregon DMV office. After about a half an hour wait I was called to the counter where I presented my renewal form, court order and my old license. I was then given the obligatory vision test required for any 55 and older which I passed no problem. I paid my money, signed the signature card "Laurie Jeanette Wickwire", retrieved my documents and sat down to wait for the new picture to be taken. 5 minutes later I was having my photo taken and was handed my new interim license. My official renewed license should be here in 5 to 10 working days. Squeeeee!
Change is in the air. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Hugs,
Laurie
@Laurie Well,
Laurie, this is certainly wonderful and affirming good news that you are no doubt enjoying.
Getting all of your documents in order, especially your Picture ID's is a terrific and good feeling for sure. What really caught my eye was your very pretty picture that you posted. Wow-wheee.... and SQUEEEEEEE for certain.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Whooo Hooooo....great stuff so happy to hear this...it's been a long time in the making...you go girl
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Now you will legally be able to drive on Road trip 3.0
Quote from: Laurie on June 04, 2018, 09:48:06 PM
Hi y'all,
Well I dragged my sister down to the Bank of America Friday to sign the new signature card and the account was changed from what his name to Laurie Jeanette Wickwire. Saturday I received an email that started out with "Hi Laurie" and told me my new card was ordered. I logged into my online account and was happy to see right there at the top of the page "Laurie Jeanette Wickwire" cooooool !! I recieved another email today telling me my new bank card has been shipped on Saturday. Squeeeeee!
Today I got up, sorted pills, ate breakfast then proceeded to investigate what forms and documentation I would need to renew my drivers license. I filled out the forms, printed them out and proceeded to purtify myself..
(https://i.imgur.com/5n25b2u.png)
Once I was presentable I grabbed my documents and headed off to the Oregon DMV office. After about a half an hour wait I was called to the counter where I presented my renewal form, court order and my old license. I was then given the obligatory vision test required for any 55 and older which I passed no problem. I paid my money, signed the signature card "Laurie Jeanette Wickwire", retrieved my documents and sat down to wait for the new picture to be taken. 5 minutes later I was having my photo taken and was handed my new interim license. My official renewed license should be here in 5 to 10 working days. Squeeeee!
Change is in the air. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Hugs,
Laurie
Hugs and smiles, Little Sis
Quote from: Laurie on June 04, 2018, 09:48:06 PM
Hi y'all,
Well I dragged my sister down to the Bank of America Friday to sign the new signature card and the account was changed from what his name to Laurie Jeanette Wickwire. Saturday I received an email that started out with "Hi Laurie" and told me my new card was ordered. I logged into my online account and was happy to see right there at the top of the page "Laurie Jeanette Wickwire" cooooool !! I recieved another email today telling me my new bank card has been shipped on Saturday. Squeeeeee!
Today I got up, sorted pills, ate breakfast then proceeded to investigate what forms and documentation I would need to renew my drivers license. I filled out the forms, printed them out and proceeded to purtify myself..
(https://i.imgur.com/5n25b2u.png)
Once I was presentable I grabbed my documents and headed off to the Oregon DMV office. After about a half an hour wait I was called to the counter where I presented my renewal form, court order and my old license. I was then given the obligatory vision test required for any 55 and older which I passed no problem. I paid my money, signed the signature card "Laurie Jeanette Wickwire", retrieved my documents and sat down to wait for the new picture to be taken. 5 minutes later I was having my photo taken and was handed my new interim license. My official renewed license should be here in 5 to 10 working days. Squeeeee!
Change is in the air. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Hugs,
Laurie
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE indeed!!!
This such wonderful news. I'm so happy for you Laurie! Getting a new driver's licence with your new legal name and current photo certainly has to be a special moment for you.
And that photo is AWESOME! You should consider making that your profile pic. You look so happy!
Big happy HUG for you!!! [emoji2][emoji2][emoji2]
Jayne
SQUEEEEEEEEE TOOOOO!
Very happy for you Laurie [emoji4]. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Wow! And what a great photo - I see this is now your avatar, right on!
Now you are scaring me girl! First you and I start agreeing on things in threads around the forum, now I see your avatar has changed shortly after I suggested you change it. Nice photo btw! Please tell me you intended to make that your avatar pic before I made the suggestion. No, I won't claim any credit. I'm sure you acted on your own free will.
Hmmmm......... but that gives me an idea!
<<< Laurie, you should consider coming to visit the land down under.>>> [emoji16][emoji16][emoji16]
Wowzers Laurie, what and awesome pic. Such a change. Love the dress too. :D
Glad you're sorting out the bureaucrats, red tape and rubber stamps. ;D
Have and awesome day,
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Laurie on June 04, 2018, 09:48:06 PM
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
SQUEEEEEEEE THREE!
Stephanie
Oh my whose looking goooooood squeeeeeeeeeeeeee from me as well .XXXXXXXXXX
Squeeee, indeed! Congratulations on all the documentation changes.
And you look fabulous in that dress!
Laurie, you look just gorgeous in that dress. (OK, I am biased a bit.) And, I am so happy that your DMV visit went so smoothly.
The corrected license looks great, and with the new bank stuff, daily life will have fewer rough spots for you.
Yaaaay!
Oh my, Thank you
@Alaskan Danielle ,
@ElizabethK ,
@Jessica ,
@Jayne01 , @Megan. ,
@Kendra ,
@Shy ,
@Steph2.0 , @davina61 , @KathyLauren , @Michelle_P
Thank you all on the congratulations and on the compliments. I wanted to look nice and thought I should for my new driver's license. Today I received my BofA debit card with the correct name on it. I looked into changing things at SSA but I need to either get a letter from my GP or therapist or wait for my new birth certificates to arrive.. I'm not in a hurry, I'll wait.
Hugs,
Laurie
Yay!!! [emoji126][emoji126][emoji126]
Laurie can now go shopping with her debit card in her very own name. Did I say shopping? Sorry, I have become obsessed with this new phenomenon that I am now enjoying!!!
So happy for you Laurie!
Jayne
Thanks Jayne. I need to practice signing my name.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on June 05, 2018, 08:56:28 PM
Thanks Jayne. I need to practice signing my name.
Hugs,
Laurie
Aaaahh, a small part of the reason I chose Jayne was because it started with the same letter as John. My signature won't need to change, although my name may as well be Mary Poppins and I could still get away with the same unreadable signature! [emoji23]
Practice away girl. Do you need me to send you some pens in case you run out of ink?
Hugs,
Jayne
I am with Jayne on this as I never changed my signature...you couldn't read it anyway and you still can't so unless I tell anyone they have no clue. Practice away, I am sure you will get it!!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
That's awesome Laurie!
HI ! Saha,
Yes it is. Change is in the wind and it is good. Give that littl lady(s) of yours hugs from me.
Hugs,
Laurie
<Squeeeeeeze>
Ouch
;)
Quote from: Kendra on June 05, 2018, 10:20:18 PM
<Squeeeeeeze>
Ouch
;)
I didn't say sqeeze hard. Sorry Kendra
Lookin' fabulous in that new picture!!! Huge congratulations on everything!!!!!!
Squ(eeeeeeeeee)^900!
Congratulations Laurie! And you look fabulous!
@Roll @Sarah_P Thank you both. Both for the compliments and the congratulations.
Hugs,
Laurie
Same here for signature , with all the paper work at work must do it 100 times a day and it ends at a squiggle .Anouther squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and not to hard either as there sore today!!!!
I personally have seen @Lauries new (temp) drivers license. It's legit!
Hugs and smiles, Jess
Good to see YOU back on form. at least 2 people threatened with the fridge!!!!! Miss Wickwire behave your self (no don't!) Hugs and XXs love
LOL Davinia,
I didn't think anyone would notice the fridge mentions. Are you spying on me? I went to Costco today and on the way out the service counter was not busy. I wandered over and asked what I needed to do to change the name on my account. I showed her my temp driver's license and she changed it right then. That was easy. Still awaiting both my drivers license and my 2 corrected copies of my birth certificate.
I'm thinking of going for a drive.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on June 13, 2018, 08:46:06 PM
I didn't think anyone would notice the fridge mentions. ...
....
I'm thinking of going for a drive.
I noticed the fridge mentions. I didn't want to say anything in case you threatened to put me up there too. [emoji16]
When you are thinking of going for a drive, it ends up being for a short trip around the entire country. Where to now?
Hugs,
Jayne
Quote from: Jayne01 on June 13, 2018, 10:51:53 PM
I noticed the fridge mentions. I didn't want to say anything in case you threatened to put me up there too. [emoji16]
When you are thinking of going for a drive, it ends up being for a short trip around the entire country. Where to now?
Hugs,
Jayne
Oh, I don't know for sure but I'll think of some direction. I'm still in the thinking stage so it could happen at any time or not at all. I have taken my evening pills and have my nightie on so it probably won't happen tonight... probably...
Hugs,
Laurie
If it does happen tonight, you, the truck and in a nightie. we need pictures.
You have lots of people who can visit you in gaol.
Quote from: Laurie on June 13, 2018, 11:37:14 PM
Oh, I don't know for sure but I'll think of some direction. I'm still in the thinking stage so it could happen at any time or not at all. I have taken my evening pills and have my nightie on so it probably won't happen tonight... probably...
Hugs,
Laurie
Sounds like the starting of a ........plan!
Quote from: Laurie on June 13, 2018, 11:37:14 PM
Oh, I don't know for sure but I'll think of some direction. I'm still in the thinking stage so it could happen at any time or not at all. I have taken my evening pills and have my nightie on so it probably won't happen tonight... probably...
Hugs,
Laurie
ARE YOU CRAZY???
What are you doing in any kind of thinking stage. You know how dangerous thinking can be. Geeeeez! A girl gets her name on a driver's licence and all of a sudden starts doing extreme sports, like thinking! [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Love ya!
Jayne
Quote from: Jayne01 on June 14, 2018, 01:23:37 AM
ARE YOU CRAZY???
What are you doing in any kind of thinking stage. You know how dangerous thinking can be. Geeeeez! A girl gets her name on a driver's licence and all of a sudden starts doing extreme sports, like thinking! [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Love ya!
Jayne
HA!
@Jayne01 ,
Just to show you, thunking is Over! I am going out for a drive. I am going to go just down the road a piece and am not sure just when I will come back. I sure ain't gunna thunk about it now.
^
She went that away <---- l ---->
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on June 15, 2018, 04:17:32 PM
HA! @Jayne01 ,
Just to show you, thunking is Over! I am going out for a drive. I am going to go just down the road a piece and am not sure just when I will come back. I sure ain't gunna thunk about it now.
^
She went that away <---- l ---->
Hugs,
Laurie
Oh, dear! Everyone, make sure the tops of your refrigerators are clean. I strongly suggest stashing a three day supply of water, emergency food, and other vital supplies up there.
Now where are those badgers?
Quote from: Laurie on June 15, 2018, 04:17:32 PM
HA! @Jayne01 ,
Just to show you, thunking is Over! I am going out for a drive. I am going to go just down the road a piece and am not sure just when I will come back. I sure ain't gunna thunk about it now.
^
She went that away <---- l ---->
Hugs,
Laurie
LAURIE IS ON A ROAD TRIP EVERYONE!
She said she is going to go just down the road, we all know what that means. She could end up anywhere on the continent.
Be safe Laurie, and have an awesome time!
Hugs,
Jayne
I've found a nice sunny place to linger a day or two.
Off to visit the pretty blonde lady??
Where oh where can Laurie be? (https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180616/5f1e5b197151c78c72322fa4534bb770.jpg)
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Quote from: Laurie on June 16, 2018, 06:27:22 PM
Where oh where can Laurie be? (https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180616/5f1e5b197151c78c72322fa4534bb770.jpg)
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Walnut Creek, Ca
Quote from: Faith on June 16, 2018, 06:50:06 PM
Walnut Creek, Ca
Ding ding ding!! Davina got the who and Faith got the where right. I'm just down the road a piece visiting Michelle my belle for a few days.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Were the honey badgers asleep again?
They are becoming quite docile now that they know how to ummm ahh uhhh enjoy themselves.
What do you think?(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180618/2b34fd13feef671156e7947c637500ff.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180618/1a590ba7cb2e2a0c568c44f5d459a9cf.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180618/a3902be381dc2f9053e305332ed79cc2.jpg)
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
@Laurie.... I love the hair and all the pics...
I know for a fact that "Blondes have more fun"...
... or at least that is my personal opinion based on my own experiences..
Hugs,
Danielle
I think you have a really beautiful smile. You should use it more :)
You are looking good, Laurie!
Wow, Laurie! I didn't recognise you at first. You look great. I love seeing you smile the way you are these days.
Hugs,
Jayne
....being happy really suits you....you should do more of it..[emoji847][emoji847]
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Quote from: Laurie on June 18, 2018, 05:27:06 PM
What do you think?(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180618/2b34fd13feef671156e7947c637500ff.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180618/1a590ba7cb2e2a0c568c44f5d459a9cf.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180618/a3902be381dc2f9053e305332ed79cc2.jpg)
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Wow sis, you look great. Are you doing your hair that way for our movie/lunch date today?
Quote from: Laurie on June 18, 2018, 05:27:06 PM
What do you think?(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180618/2b34fd13feef671156e7947c637500ff.jpg)
❣️❣️❣️
Quote from: Laurie on June 18, 2018, 05:27:06 PM
What do you think?(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180618/2b34fd13feef671156e7947c637500ff.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180618/1a590ba7cb2e2a0c568c44f5d459a9cf.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180618/a3902be381dc2f9053e305332ed79cc2.jpg)
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Hi Laurie your hair looks great! Even better than the other style you were wearing :)
Do you have a time machine hidden away somewhere? You seem to be looking younger every time I see a new pic. :D
I really like the new hair style Laurie, it really suits you.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
I want to thank each of you that responded about the blond wig pictures. This has helped me decide to buy it for myself. The one I had one was one Michelle had ordered and truth be told I did not care for it at first. It was quite a color change from my other one. I guess I am going blond.
Thanks for the help.
Hugs,
Laurie
Girl you look really great but... are you still able to use a computer (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,238494.msg2145779.html#msg2145779)?
Laurie, you look great!
Looking fab Laurie! And welcome to the Secret Society of Girls Who Have More Fun ;)
And I owe you some delayed congrats on your name change and being cancer free. I got a new job and it's keeping me veeeery busy!
Love and miss you!
Must be a strange blond virus in that part of the world? Looking good hun ( its fun to swop hair styles only upside of MPB)
Kendra- yes I can. Well as much as I could before.
Saha - Thank you Hun.
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Quote from: p on June 19, 2018, 12:51:18 PM
Looking fab Laurie! And welcome to the Secret Society of Girls Who Have More Fun ;)
And I owe you some delayed congrats on your name change and being cancer free. I got a new job and it's keeping me veeeery busy!
Love and miss you!
Hi Patti! Thank you Hun. Is this the same new job or a new new job? Please tell Noah I said hi and give him a hug for me .
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
You mean there have been more blond outbreaks? I'll admit the look had to grow on me. I did order my own today. Thanks Davina.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: davina61 on June 19, 2018, 02:41:47 PM
Must be a strange blond virus in that part of the world? Looking good hun ( its fun to swop hair styles only upside of MPB)
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Quote from: Kendra on June 19, 2018, 12:10:30 PM
Girl you look really great but... are you still able to use a computer (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,238494.msg2145779.html#msg2145779)?
@Kendra She changed her hair color back and seemed capable with much, but she told me while watching the Star Wars "Solo" movie today, she couldn't fix "droid L3-37" either.
Considering it's no less complex than a printer, it should be a snap for her. Maybe it had a residual effect.
Hi Folks,
I was able to sneak away from my darling captor Michelle, her minion Jessica, and the now tame honey badgers to return home again. I stopped at Heaven on Earth for supper, ordering their bacon, liver and onions. I received a plate full of goodies and on of their dinner rolls that was sliced into 3 pieces. As expected supper was delicious. I ate the whole plateful and 2 of the 3 slices of dinner roll.
(https://i.imgur.com/jkV6opr.jpg?3)
I arrived home about 11:30 pm last night and unloaded my pickup then went to check the mail. In the mailbox amongst the bills, junk mail and a package was an envelope addressed to Laurie Wickwire from the State of Washington Department of Health. Opening it I discovered that my Mom had given birth to a girl no one had ever known about. Her name? Laurie Jeanette W. Yep, right there were 2 certified copies attesting to this event.
(https://i.imgur.com/uK9PNvG.jpg)
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on June 21, 2018, 01:01:05 PM
Hi Folks,
I was able to sneak away from my darling captor Michelle, her minion Jessica, and the now tame honey badgers to return home again. I stopped at Heaven on Earth for supper, ordering their bacon, liver and onions. I received a plate full of goodies and on of their dinner rolls that was sliced into 3 pieces. As expected supper was delicious. I ate the whole plateful and 2 of the 3 slices of dinner roll.
(https://i.imgur.com/jkV6opr.jpg?3)
I arrived home about 11:30 pm last night and unloaded my pickup then went to check the mail. In the mailbox amongst the bills, junk mail and a package was an envelope addressed to Laurie Wickwire from the State of Washington Department of Health. Opening it I discovered that my Mom had given birth to a girl no one had ever known about. Her name? Laurie Jeanette W. Yep, right there were 2 certified copies attesting to this event.
(https://i.imgur.com/uK9PNvG.jpg)
Hugs,
Laurie
@Laurie Dear Laurie : Well, your dinner plate looks wonderfully delicious and I love all the veggies.
I do like Liver and Onions... with bacon, mmm, mmm, good.... as long as the liver is "mild" and tender... it is wonderful.
Well, that is certainly very good news about your "new" Birth Certificate... another transition event worth celebrating for sure.
So, "blondie," thanks for keeping us all up to date with your fun and event filled life.
Hugs,
Danielle
Awesome news about the birth certificate Laure. You're officially you :D
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: Laurie on June 21, 2018, 01:01:05 PM
Hi Folks,
I was able to sneak away from my darling captor Michelle, her minion Jessica, and the now tame honey badgers to return home again. I stopped at Heaven on Earth for supper, ordering their bacon, liver and onions. I received a plate full of goodies and on of their dinner rolls that was sliced into 3 pieces. As expected supper was delicious. I ate the whole plateful and 2 of the 3 slices of dinner roll.
(https://i.imgur.com/jkV6opr.jpg?3)
I arrived home about 11:30 pm last night and unloaded my pickup then went to check the mail. In the mailbox amongst the bills, junk mail and a package was an envelope addressed to Laurie Wickwire from the State of Washington Department of Health. Opening it I discovered that my Mom had given birth to a girl no one had ever known about. Her name? Laurie Jeanette W. Yep, right there were 2 certified copies attesting to this event.
(https://i.imgur.com/uK9PNvG.jpg)
Hugs,
Laurie
Heaven on Earth is just north from Grants Pass, OR. on HWY 5 in Azalea. Great food and wonderful staff. Country western gospel is the music within.
@Michelle_P and her minion Lady Jessica (me) can attest to this. The turkey dinner tastes like it's Thanksgiving!
Still tracking
@Laurie with help of the honey badgers, this new "daughter" is a slippery one!
Hugs and smiles, Lady Jessica
I had four brothers and no sisters. When I opened my new birth certificates, I remember thinking "Mom would be OK with this. She finally got that daughter she wanted."
Congratulations, Laurie!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
ITS A GIRL! ITS A GIRL!!! [emoji322][emoji322][emoji322][emoji324][emoji324][emoji322][emoji322][emoji322][emoji322]
Congratulations Laurie Jeanette W. (female). Another milestone achieved.
Hugs,
Jayne
Thank you all
@Alaskan Danielle @Jessica @Shy ,
@Jayne01 and my sweetie @Michelle_P .
Can't get more official than your birth certificate and driver's licence. Okay Social security is next.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on June 21, 2018, 01:01:05 PM
Hi Folks,
I was able to sneak away from my darling captor Michelle, her minion Jessica, and the now tame honey badgers to return home again. I stopped at Heaven on Earth for supper, ordering their bacon, liver and onions. I received a plate full of goodies and on of their dinner rolls that was sliced into 3 pieces. As expected supper was delicious. I ate the whole plateful and 2 of the 3 slices of dinner roll.
(https://i.imgur.com/jkV6opr.jpg?3)
I arrived home about 11:30 pm last night and unloaded my pickup then went to check the mail. In the mailbox amongst the bills, junk mail and a package was an envelope addressed to Laurie Wickwire from the State of Washington Department of Health. Opening it I discovered that my Mom had given birth to a girl no one had ever known about. Her name? Laurie Jeanette W. Yep, right there were 2 certified copies attesting to this event.
(https://i.imgur.com/uK9PNvG.jpg)
Hugs,
Laurie
The veggies look good! ;)
Super congrats on the official name change. Yay, you are really you!
Quote from: Laurie on June 21, 2018, 06:59:33 PM
> Can't get more official than your birth certificate and driver's licence. Okay Social security is next.
This really is cool to see but... you'll really know you're official when you receive updated Costco membership card. :P
Quote from: Kendra on June 22, 2018, 01:00:28 AM
This really is cool to see but... you'll really know you're official when you receive updated Costco membership card. :P
But I have that already
More congrats , got my name changed on my log in page for vehicle inspections today . Nice to see the Honey badgers are trained now. Liver and bacon yum not had any for ages, just might have to get some now.
Hi Folks,
I got another task done today. I went to visit the friendly local Social Security office, took a number and waited almost 2 hours before it was my turn at the window. I presented my completed SSA card application alone with the required documentation and all was over within 15 minutes. I should get my new SSA card and a new Medicare card in about 2 weeks.
Tick two more name and gender changes done. When I get these I should have more than enough items to apply for a passport. Hear that all you foreign ladies? Better start clearing off those refrigerator tops.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on June 23, 2018, 01:24:16 AM
Hi Folks,
I got another task done today. I went to visit the friendly local Social Security office, took a number and waited almost 2 hours before it was my turn at the window. I presented my completed SSA card application alone with the required documentation and all was over within 15 minutes. I should get my new SSA card and a new Medicare card in about 2 weeks.
Tick two more name and gender changes done. When I get these I should have more than enough items to apply for a passport. Hear that all you foreign ladies? Better start clearing off those refrigerator tops.
Hugs,
Laurie
Wooohooooooo! Laurie is going overseas.....a broad going abroad!
Congrats on the continuing name change on your documents.
Hugs,
Jayne
My refrigerator top is spotless.
The spare room has a never used queen-sized bed.
Just be careful of opening the odd jar and container, they may contain one of my pets.
Quote from: Cindy on June 23, 2018, 03:07:34 AM
My refrigerator top is spotless.
The spare room has a never used queen-sized bed.
Just be careful of opening the odd jar and container, they may contain one of my pets.
No honey badgers, but maybe a Tasmanian Devil. And all those spiders!
A passport? Kewl! It would be great to see you.
(https://farm2.staticflickr.com/1834/41155104830_e7d8dd96b9_b.jpg)
Good luck with that! Bwah-ha-ha! ;D
Careful, that fridge top is easy to padlock.
Quote from: Kendra on June 23, 2018, 10:28:21 AM
Careful, that fridge top is easy to padlock.
:icon_blink:
Do I have to move my cake tin????
Passport form is filled out and printed ....
Quote from: Laurie on June 23, 2018, 05:36:03 PM
Passport form is filled out and printed ....
I sense travel over a wider distance in the near future...
Ladies, best be scrubbing off the top of the chullibuns, tuckerboxes, and eskys. Don't want to soil anything should you be placed there!
Today as I was signing a petition on the " Needtoimpeach" site, I suddenly realized that Laurie was not on the voting rolls. Being a good citizen I hurried over to the Oregon voting registration pages and modified my registration to change my name there to Laurie. It just would just not do if I was not able to vote against those that support our current administration's anti-lgbtq+ agenda this November.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on June 24, 2018, 07:13:09 PM
Today as I was signing a petition on the " Needtoimpeach" site, I suddenly realized that Laurie was not on the voting rolls. Being a good citizen I hurried over to the Oregon voting registration pages and modified my registration to change my name there to Laurie. It just would just not do if I was not able to vote against those that support our current administration's anti-lgbtq+ agenda this November.
Hugs,
Laurie
@LaurieDear Laurie: .... kudos to you... after-all, a person can not complain about the candidate that wins the election if that person doesn't vote.
What additional name and ID changes are coming up for you, if any???
Hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on June 26, 2018, 12:37:47 AM
@Laurie
Dear Laurie: .... kudos to you... after-all, a person can not complain about the candidate that wins the election if that person doesn't vote.
What additional name and ID changes are coming up for you, if any???
Hugs,
Danielle
There are a myriad more to do yet. I haven't yet submitted my passport paperwork but soon. There the VA that needs to be done, One bank account, the credit bureaus,, various store accounts... and the list goes on forever. the important ones are almost all done. I'm not in a hurry for most of them at all.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on June 26, 2018, 12:52:25 AM
There are a myriad more to do yet. I haven't yet submitted my passport paperwork but soon. There the VA that needs to be done, One bank account, the credit bureaus,, various store accounts... and the list goes on forever. the important ones are almost all done. I'm not in a hurry for most of them at all.
Hugs,
Laurie
@Laurie Dear Laurie, it is my personal experience the legal name changes seem to never be done and finished... just when I thought I had done all of my name change and address change tasks then something else pops up.
The last ones for me were my college diplomas... and professional licenses.... I had forgotten that I needed to have my name on the diplomas to match my application for my CPA and business licenses in my new state of residence.... fortunately getting the colleges and universities to make those changes was rather easy compared to other ID and name changes that I had done previously.
After more than 2 years I am still getting forwarded snail mail, email, and texts in my old male name.... it is unbelievable how widespread our names and address are spread out among advertisers, credit card companies, businesses, government agencies, etc....
...privacy in the digital age is a difficult thing to achieve ... just ask Facebook, Apple and Google executives.... but they are the ones that are selling our personal information!!! Go figure!!!
Hugs,
Danielle
I see the bureaucrats have still got you running around dotting the T's and crossing the I's. Phoey I say, you're official Laurie in my eyes and always have been.
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
So when you have a passport will Michelle do a MR T on you to get you on a plane????
Quote from: davina61 on June 26, 2018, 02:23:59 PM
So when you have a passport will Michelle do a MR T on you to get you on a plane????
I don't know what that woman will do, Davina. She makes plans and keeps them to herself. (That's as it should be) She has made noises about cruising, but I think that is an activity for high school kids. I mean really! What is the attraction of driving round and around the same city streets over and over again? There is Canada too I suppose. Though it is a frozen wasteland like Alaska is. I'd need lessons on how to manage a dog sled team.
So I do not know just why she thinks I need a passport but hey, it is a small thing and it will please her.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on June 26, 2018, 02:37:18 PM
I don't know what that woman will do, Davina. She makes plans and keeps them to herself. (That's as it should be) She has made noises about cruising, but I think that is an activity for high school kids. I mean really! What is the attraction of driving round and around the same city streets over and over again? There is Canada too I suppose. Thogh it is a frozen wasteland like Alaska is. I'd need lessons on how to manage a dog sled team.
So I do not know just why she thinks I need a passport but hey, it is a small thing and it ill please her.
Hugs,
Laurie
Frozen wastelands are good! Given how hot it is in the UK at the moment, I would move to Alaska, or Antarctica in a heartbeat if I could. I'm kinda envious of Danielle at the moment, lol. Cold is awesome. :D
Quote from: Laurie on June 26, 2018, 02:37:18 PM
I don't know what that woman will do, Davina. She makes plans and keeps them to herself. (That's as it should be) She has made noises about cruising, but I think that is an activity for high school kids. I mean really! What is the attraction of driving round and around the same city streets over and over again? There is Canada too I suppose. Thogh it is a frozen wasteland like Alaska is. I'd need lessons on how to manage a dog sled team.
So I do not know just why she thinks I need a passport but hey, it is a small thing and it ill please her.
Hugs,
Laurie
Passports are worth having. You never know when you might need to escape to a non-extradition country on a moment's notice.
Quote from: Roll on June 27, 2018, 10:08:37 AM
Passports are worth having. You never know when you might need to escape to a non-extradition country on a moment's notice.
Absolutely! It's like carrying extra gas in the back of a truck. Just in case...
And Laurie, you never can tell when you might be suddenly taken to a port on a few hours notice and find yourself leaving the country!
Quote from: Michelle_P on June 27, 2018, 10:33:00 AM
Absolutely! It's like carrying extra gas in the back of a truck. Just in case...
And Laurie, you never can tell when you might be suddenly taken to a port on a few hours notice and find yourself leaving the country!
.... and of course with the present and new upcoming rules from the TSA, we may all need passports or an
acceptable "enhanced" state driver's license to travel via the airlines
domestically. I guess that in this crazy world we are coming to the point of having a "national ID" and we may be required to always have our "papers" with us at all times. Reminds me of some of the old Russian dramas that I have seen... as the uniformed military man with a machine gun intimidatingly says "show me your papers"
When I travel anywhere I almost always have my passport in my personal belongings.... except of course when I go hiking in the hills and mountains here where I may come across the wild animals..... it is then I carry my friends, Smith and Wesson.
Danielle
Quote from: davina61 on June 26, 2018, 02:23:59 PM
So when you have a passport will Michelle do a MR T on you to get you on a plane????
"I pity the fool" who gets in her way!
Okay folks the deed is done, My fees are paid, my application signed and witnessed, my picture was taken, documentation accepted, and all has now been submitted. In 4 - 6 weeks I should know if I have a passport or not. Now for important things.... Wash makeup off my face in preparation for facial torture this afternoon. Yes that's right the passport picture was taken with a makeup covered fuzzy face. sigh
Quote from: Laurie on June 27, 2018, 02:54:18 PM
Yes that's right the passport picture was taken with a makeup covered fuzzy face. sigh
Nobody will be able to tell. Not in that tiny little image. Your secret is safe.
Well, except for the hundreds of thousands of page views this will eventually accumulates and the search engines that will index and cache this post...
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote from: Michelle_P on June 27, 2018, 03:21:57 PM
Nobody will be able to tell. Not in that tiny little image. Your secret is safe.
Well, except for the hundreds of thousands of page views this will eventually accumulates and the search engines that will index and cache this post...
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Indexed and cached...I've done my part!
I can just see it now"take these sea sickness pills" and you wake up strapped in an airplane seat---------- Passport photo will be so wrecked (ruined?) that a full beard wont show
Passport photo.
(https://i.imgur.com/xRhdCRj.jpg)
Quote from: davina61 on June 27, 2018, 03:55:05 PM
I can just see it now"take these sea sickness pills" and you wake up strapped in an airplane seat---------- Passport photo will be so wrecked (ruined?) that a full beard wont show
That won't work Davina. I don't get seasick.
Your passport photo looks great, Laurie. That is a problem, you know! Passport photos are supposed to make you look terrible. You should have gone to a police station and have a mug shot taken of you and use that as your passport photo. [emoji23]
Congrats on another job done (or in the process of being done). So where will Michelle take you that requires a passport? Or is it top secret in case it involves making a plan... [emoji16][emoji16][emoji16]
Hugs,
Jayne
Nice passport pic, Laurie!
I see that you folks are allowed to smile on yours. Nice! The requirements for ours say specifically "mouth closed, no smiling". One more reason for me not to get one: if you can't smile, what's the point?
Quote from: Jayne01 on June 27, 2018, 04:49:24 PM
Your passport photo looks great, Laurie. That is a problem, you know! Passport photos are supposed to make you look terrible. You should have gone to a police station and have a mug shot taken of you and use that as your passport photo. [emoji23]
Congrats on another job done (or in the process of being done). So where will Michelle take you that requires a passport? Or is it top secret in case it involves making a plan... [emoji16][emoji16][emoji16]
Hugs,
Jayne
I have no idea if, where, or when Michelle has plans. you needs must ask her. I was just informed I might need a passport sometime so I should get one. I am doing so. Following a request from my girlfriend.
Quote from: KathyLauren on June 27, 2018, 04:59:39 PM
Nice passport pic, Laurie!
I see that you folks are allowed to smile on yours. Nice! The requirements for ours say specifically "mouth closed, no smiling". One more reason for me not to get one: if you can't smile, what's the point?
Thank you, Kathy. Yes, here in Oregon, I was allowed to smile for my driver's licence (it said so in the paper work) and I made a point to ask for the passport. Beware girl you are within driving distance...
Hugs,
Laurie
It's not fair. all these good-looking 'official' pictures. My DL from just last month is an embarrassment ... makes me want to take a marker to it and black it out.
@Laurie, I agree with
@KathyLauren and
@Jayne01 .... your passport photo looks absolutely terrific.
Regarding driver license photo, there are some states that will require you to remove your eye-glasses....
Again, you look wonderful in your passport photo and also other recent beautiful photos that you have posted ... and now all of your photos are scattered all across the internet and in Russia and North Korea too. Ya know, Russians are always looking for American brides. >:-)
Hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on June 27, 2018, 05:42:53 PM
@Laurie, I agree with @KathyLauren and @Jayne01 .... your passport photo looks absolutely terrific.
Regarding driver license photo, there are some states that will require you to remove your eye-glasses....
Again, you look wonderful in your passport photo and also other recent beautiful photos that you have posted ... and now all of your photos are scattered all across the internet and in Russia and North Korea too. Ya know, Russians are always looking for American brides. >:-)
Hugs,
Danielle
@Alaskan Danielle Your can tell those Russian's I'm already spoken for. They do not want to anger Michelle.
I had to remove my glasses for both the passport and my driver's licence picture. It's okay, I look so much cuter without them.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Faith on June 27, 2018, 05:39:39 PM
It's not fair. all these good-looking 'official' pictures. My DL from just last month is an embarrassment ... makes me want to take a marker to it and black it out.
I know what you mean Faith. I guess I'm lucky to live here in Oregon.
Hugs,
Laurie
Drivers licenc photos. What a joke. Just got my new license and I can't tell it's me in the picture.
Washed out and pale and even with a code for corrective lens I had to take my glasses off for the picture. Going to a different office next renewal and hopefully they have a better camera. Lol
Well well aren't you rocketing along with a passport on the way now...That's a nice photo of you for your passport.
I meant to say to you about your walk you mentioned on my thread...you walked about 10ks from what you said. That is a great effort. I didn't realise how far you were actually going on these walks. I find I am just getting into the rhythm of my walk from a cardio point of view when I hit that 5k but my stupid hip won't play the game. Well done you!!
Glad things are going so well for you, we should skype again soon and catch up on all your latest changes!!
Take Care
Liz
Quote from: ElizabethK on July 02, 2018, 06:53:31 PM
Well well aren't you rocketing along with a passport on the way now...That's a nice photo of you for your passport.
I meant to say to you about your walk you mentioned on my thread...you walked about 10ks from what you said. That is a great effort. I didn't realise how far you were actually going on these walks. I find I am just getting into the rhythm of my walk from a cardio point of view when I hit that 5k but my stupid hip won't play the game. Well done you!!
Glad things are going so well for you, we should skype again soon and catch up on all your latest changes!!
Take Care
Liz
@ElizabethK Liz, I was impressed by that comment on your thread by Laurie also. 10k is a excellent distance to gain exercise....but the 5k you do is just as valuable! Well done you two!
@Laurie @Michelle_P Oh where oh where is our wandering waif gone off to?.. she hasn't been updating her thread!
Have the badgers found their revenge for her trapping them back east when they were closing in on her? (Will Lady Jessica heal from the bites as she freed them?)
Has she started Road Trip 3.0?
Did Mistress Michelle finally get the fluffy cuffs on her, and is feeding her cookies at this moment?
We will never know unless she finds a telegraph?, a pen and paper?, a fax machine? or her awesome array of geek stuff?
Hello Folks,
Nothing new going on. My bank accounts have my new name on them and new cards received. My social security card arrived but I'm still waiting on my medicare care. You all know I think that my driver's licence and birth certificate have been received. My car insurance is changed. Passport applied for and still in the works.
I went to visit Michelle for a week and I am home once again so I could attend to a therapy appointment today. He asked if I was in love and I was able to tell him I believe so, or at least I can tell Michelle I love her and not flinch. It isn't something that comes easy to my lips. He also asked if I had been thinking of having any body work done. I told him I have been thinking of joining Kaiser Permanente in order to have GCS. I also brought up the subject of possible letters I may need if I decided to go forward on GCS. He said he is able to an would write one for me should I need it. Me GP will also do the same I think he told me. Another think I brought up when I was telling him about my name and gender document changes. I told him I was a bit concerned about my own reaction to making the changes. I see it as something I need to do because I am transitioning. Something required. I find no actual joy in it. This as you might imagine is cause for concern. It's still that, "Am I doing the right thing?" "Was my daughter right? Is it just another diversion, a grasping for a reason for be being the ass I have been?" Am I fooling myself? Am I going to regret this too after messing up her life more and those of my grand kids? And what about Michelle? Will I ruin her life too? I wish I knew the answers.
Nothing here to see folks. Move along.
@Laurie Dear Laurie: It was great to see your update after your trip to visit
@Michelle_P and be a witness to her leading her church service.... and all those terrific pictures of you and
@Jessica at that luncheon. It was wonderful to read and see about all of that.
In your post you have stated lots of serious things that need serious consideration for sure. Think twice, perhaps much more... then make a decision (and decisions) that fits with your life goals. This is all very complicated for sure.
Again, thank you for updating...
Hugs,
Danielle
Laurie, the transition only deals with one thing in your life and that's the dysphoria. Have you become comfortable with your body and you life as far as gender issues? If so, your doing the right thing. The other issues in your life will need to be addressed just as a CIS person would address their issues. You will need to fix what you can then forgive and forget about the rest. It's not easy and it why CIS people see therapist as well.
With my name change it was necessary to fit in with the ME that was happening, but that's the me that's living my life. Only thing now is work, it brings the old me out. Only you will know whats righto fit the way you feel, if you need surgery to feel right then go ahead ( I do) and as to not much going on day to day that's life unless you live in a soap!!!!(sometimes I think you do) Stay safe and look after your love XXXX
Getting my name and gender marker change approved by the court did give me some joy, a sense of victory, that I had gotten the State to acknowledge who I am. Getting the various ID documents corrected was more of a chore, but I was happy when it was done because I was tired of outing myself with every purchase in a store, every car repair, every trip taken...
I was happy that I wouldn't be getting that hairy eyeball 👁 stare every time I had to present an ID or bank card. Not so much joy, as relief, really.
And Laurie, my life is MINE to celebrate or ruin, just as your daughter's life is hers. You do you, be honest and open with others close to you, and treat yourself with the respect you deserve. Others may respond in kind, or process your every word and action through an ideological funhouse mirror. That is THEIR choice, their responsibility, and possibly their curse. You didn't do that to them, and their funhouse mirror reflection of you is not YOU.
With love and respect,
Michelle
Laurie, I agree with Michelle!
Tia Anne
Quote from: Laurie on July 11, 2018, 10:11:26 PM
Hello Folks,
Nothing new going on. My bank accounts have my new name on them and new cards received. My social security card arrived but I'm still waiting on my medicare care. You all know I think that my driver's licence and birth certificate have been received. My car insurance is changed. Passport applied for and still in the works.
I went to visit Michelle for a week and I am home once again so I could attend to a therapy appointment today. He asked if I was in love and I was able to tell him I believe so, or at least I can tell Michelle I love her and not flinch. It isn't something that comes easy to my lips. He also asked if I had been thinking of having any body work done. I told him I have been thinking of joining Kaiser Permanente in order to have GCS. I also brought up the subject of possible letters I may need if I decided to go forward on GCS. He said he is able to an would write one for me should I need it. Me GP will also do the same I think he told me. Another think I brought up when I was telling him about my name and gender document changes. I told him I was a bit concerned about my own reaction to making the changes. I see it as something I need to do because I am transitioning. Something required. I find no actual joy in it. This as you might imagine is cause for concern. It's still that, "Am I doing the right thing?" "Was my daughter right? Is it just another diversion, a grasping for a reason for be being the ass I have been?" Am I fooling myself? Am I going to regret this too after messing up her life more and those of my grand kids? And what about Michelle? Will I ruin her life too? I wish I knew the answers.
Nothing here to see folks. Move along.
Hi Laurie,
I have been a little slow catching up with everybody. Thank you for updating us on how YOU are going. I will start with the last comments you made. You can never be held responsible for ruining anyone's life unless you have carried out a deliberate malicious act against someone with intent to cause harm. With everything else, people are responsible for their own lives and happiness.
I am really liking the way you are thinking about yourself and what makes you happy. You are starting to think about GCS which is a huge decision. And reflecting on how you feel about your name changing process is another example of Laurie thinking about what is best for Laurie. I'm proud of you. I haven't started the name change process for myself, I imagine that many parts of it will be nothing more than a chore. Telling a faceless bank, or government agency that my name is now Jayne instead of John has no real effect on my life. Those people won't know me and we would probably never speak again after the name change is completed. It seems to be a different story when it is a more personal experience. If I remember correctly, you were happy, possibly even excited when you first received the court papers and then your driver's licence with your new name and sharing that information with your friends here on the forum. You were even signing off on your posts with your full name for a little while. You were (and still are) "Laurie (officially)". That part seemed like joy to me.
Hugs,
Jayne
Laurie,
So sorry to learn that you are experiencing, pardon my Latin, brain flatulence. Not everything we need to accomplish results in elation. Sometimes it is just a simple "Finally, done with that." I am in the throws of banging my head against the Social Security-to-Medicare interface. This chore has long since supplanted the "thrill of victory" I experienced when my name change was ordered by the court. I am feeling an touch of the "agony of defeat" about it right now. I know I will get this thing done, eventually but the beauracrats have drained all the joy out of it.
Heed your SO. She has expressed the reality of each person's responsibility for themselves. You are a road warrior and you should know that you need to keep in your lane and run at your pace to get to your destination, safely.
Stevi
How soon the head forgets things when it is in a different frame of mind.
Thank you everyone for your responses.
@Jayne01 for reminding me that I did not appear to be very "meh" when I related some of the early document changes like my drivers licence and social security administration. ( Laurie has received both her SSA and Medicare Cards now ). She was right about that and I even did "squeeee" with the driver's licence change. , I wasn't too excited when I opened the court envelop and saw my name change already completed. instead I remember a feeling of shock and dread. I thought I still had time to back out and that rug was snatched from beneath my feet. So I will stand corrected about those early changes with that one exception.
Faith and Michelle and several others have pointed out that she is responsible for her own choices in picking me to be in a relationship with. We are all responsible for our choices and happiness. Omg, that sounds so right and true, but when I look back on the wreckage I've left behind, in my wake over the years, it is hard to believe. I know me. I know what I have done. I have to take at least some responsibility for that wreckage. And I fear seeing those same things happening again to someone else I love. I doubt I could survive it again.
Thank you all for your thoughts. They are always welcome because that is how we help each other weather our personal storms.
Hugs,
Laurie
Laurie, you need a big (((((HUG))))). Any "wreckage" you may have left in your wake in years gone by, may or may not be partly due to your doing. I did not know the old you, but I do know the new you and you are a kind and caring person who would never deliberately hurt anyone. Unfortunate situations can create hurt feelings and there usually is nobody to blame for such situations. You can learn from any past mistakes you have made and not repeat them.
(((((HUG)))))
Jayne
Jayne is so correct! The road in front of you is the only one that counts. You are not the person that you called Mean/Rotten. I only see that smiling woman named Sweet/Lovely. You have made changes in your life that has made you a better, happier person! And you found a sweetheart!
Hugs and smiles, little sis 💁♀️
Quote from: Jessica on July 13, 2018, 09:19:09 PM
Jayne is so correct! The road in front of you is the only one that counts. You are not the person that you called Mean/Nasty MeanRotten. I only see that smiling woman named Sweet/Lovely. You have made changes in your life that has made you a better, happier person! And you found a sweetheart!
Hugs and smiles, little sis 💁♀️
:police: get it right Sis :police:
Quote from: Laurie on July 13, 2018, 09:25:22 PM
:police: get it right Sis :police:
What....looks fine to me! ^^^^^^
That's it @Laurie... I have had enough of this scurrilous behaviour...someone grab her other arm...right off you go to the naughty girls corner for name calling. I don't want to hear any arguments. It doesn't matter that you were calling yourself names you know that its not allowed.
Now you can just stay there until you apologise to yourself and make yourself feel better...
Quote from: Laurie on July 13, 2018, 08:10:19 PM
How soon the head forgets things when it is in a different frame of mind...
...We are all responsible for our choices and happiness. Omg, that sounds so right and true, but when I look back on the wreckage I've left behind, in my wake over the years, it is hard to believe. I know me. I know what I have done. I have to take at least some responsibility for that wreckage. And I fear seeing those same things happening again to someone else I love. I doubt I could survive it again.
Thank you all for your thoughts. They are always welcome because that is how we help each other weather our personal storms.
Hugs,
Laurie
Laurie, I've been following your posts for some time and I must say in regard to wreckage and such that it seems to me that might have been someone else you're confusing yourself with. While you have had your fair share of ups and downs (don't we all?), Laurie is one of the most caring and empathic people I've come across. Your words of wisdom and support when others have been out of sorts have been nothing short of inspiring. While you and I are in a similar age bracket, many of the younger members here could do no better than to have you as their "Auntie Laurie" to assist them when seas get rough. Yes, we are here to help each other and you have done more than your share. <<hugs>>
Judi
Thank you again
@Jayne01 @Jessica @ElizabethK and
@JudiBlueEyes I appreciate all the comments of support and even the rough handling from Liz. Sorry if my message is a bit mumbled it is difficult to be heard when facing a corner. And Judi you are not the only one to point out that I have helped others and that I am not who I was, but it is hard to believe those things when your head is full of bad memories and fears of those reoccurring again. Those are the ghosts I fight. They may be insubstantial but they are there. Ironically it is just the fact that I have fallen in love with Michelle and she with me that has triggered this battle within myself.
Hugs,
Laurie
On a different note....
BEWARE! No One is Safe !
(https://i.imgur.com/2S4MMrk.png)
Quote from: Laurie on July 15, 2018, 02:04:01 AM
Thank you again @Jayne01 @Jessica @ElizabethK and @JudiBlueEyes I appreciate all the comments of support and even the rough handling from Liz. Sorry if my message is a bit mumbled it is difficult to be heard when facing a corner. And Judi you are not the only one to point out that I have helped others and that I am not who I was, but it is hard to believe those things when your head is full of bad memories and fears of those reoccurring again. Those are the ghosts I fight. They may be insubstantial but they are there. Ironically it is just the fact that I have fallen in love with Michelle and she with me that has triggered this battle within myself.
Hugs,
Laurie
Laurie,
Those memories and fears you have are not insubstantial, they are very real and affecting you. They are not something to be dismissed, rather, they should be treated with respect and acknowledged for what they are....memories of a past life. People can change and you have demonstrated that time and time again. You are no longer that person you describe. I have never met the old you and from your descriptions, that sounds like a total stranger to me. It does not describe who you are now.
I can understand why these memories and fears have been triggered, causing you this internal battle. You have found something very special with Michelle, something you do not want to lose. You are worried your old self may surface to repeat past mistakes. I don't think that is possible. I believe your old self is not hiding beneath the surface but gone completely. Go easy on yourself and trust that you have changed for the better.
You can come out of the corner now. [emoji16]
Hugs,
Jayne
Quote from: Laurie on July 15, 2018, 02:22:15 AM
On a different note....
BEWARE! No One is Safe !
(https://i.imgur.com/2S4MMrk.png)
Wooohoooo!!!! Laurie is doing a road trip down under!! [emoji16][emoji16][emoji16][emoji16]
Quote from: Laurie on July 15, 2018, 02:22:15 AM
On a different note....
BEWARE! No One is Safe !
(https://i.imgur.com/2S4MMrk.png)
@ElizabethK your admonishment to Laurie may find yourself put on the top of a fridge when she shows up at your door!
I might have to start dusting. :o
madly scrambling to remove everything off the top of the fridge...especially after making her go stand in the corner yesterday
Quote from: ElizabethK on July 15, 2018, 05:47:24 PM
madly scrambling to remove everything off the top of the fridge...especially after making her go stand in the corner yesterday
I'm checking ship schedules between the US West Coast and Sydney, as well as rail and other transport between Sydney and Adelaide, at the suggestion of the badgers.
At some point we may need to trans-ship Laurie to the Southern Hemisphere.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Is that a round the world trip , do I have to vac and dust, clean top of fridge and make a banquet ? BTW still spaces at the UK meetup ;)
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180716/9fc5b8f6894d1555ef482dee63432d1e.jpg)
<Jayne is busily making preparations>
You too??? Sneaking in a new avatar? Looks great Laurie! Love your new avatar.
Also: Congrats on your brand new Passport!
Hugs,
Sarah
Quote from: sarah1972 on July 16, 2018, 05:08:23 PM
You too??? Sneaking in a new avatar? Looks great Laurie! Love your new avatar.
Also: Congrats on your brand new Passport!
Hugs,
Sarah
@sarah1972
Dear Sarah: It appears that a lot of the members are updating their Avatar photos lately. Hmmm, perhaps it is your turn sometime in the near future. Please, only post a new Avatar if you feel comfortable doing it, no pressure.
I did see a new picture of you on one of your recent posts....
... you are looking good for sure!!!
Hot Mama #2 ::) >:-)
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Quote from: davina61 on July 16, 2018, 03:27:44 PM
Is that a round the world trip , do I have to vac and dust, clean top of fridge and make a banquet ? BTW still spaces at the UK meetup ;)
I have no plans for travel Davina. You know that. You will need to talk to Michelle.
Quote from: Jayne01 on July 16, 2018, 04:44:03 PM
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180716/9fc5b8f6894d1555ef482dee63432d1e.jpg)
<Jayne is busily making preparations>
Looks like someone is getting the message.
Quote from: sarah1972 on July 16, 2018, 05:08:23 PM
You too??? Sneaking in a new avatar? Looks great Laurie! Love your new avatar.
Also: Congrats on your brand new Passport!
Hugs,
Sarah
What? This ol' thing? I already have another hair style sitting on my dresser that Michelle likes better. I'm not sure though. And look who's talking you have changed your avatar more than I, Hot Mama Sarah.
Hugs to all,
Laurie
Oh I almost forgot. I received my card passport today completing my order. They still need to mail my birth certificate back.
Another thing I got done today... I enrolled at Kaiser Permanente HMO so I can get into their Transgender program to avail myself of their services that I cannot get at the VA. My coverage should start August 1st.
LJW
Nicely done LJW
Glad you made the decision to follow through...as someone famous once said..."the futures so bright I she needs shades"
Take care
Liz
@Laurie @Michelle_P @Cindy @ElizabethK Quote from: Michelle_P on July 16, 2018, 02:28:12 PM
I'm checking ship schedules between the US West Coast and Sydney, as well as rail and other transport between Sydney and Adelaide, at the suggestion of the badgers.
At some point we may need to trans-ship Laurie to the Southern Hemisphere.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
The Honey Badgers want to visit the home of the Australian Apis mellifera. They tell me that they make the best badger food down under.
Hi Folks,
I will be covered by Kaiser Permanente on August first.
I got a call from one of their customer service people to update my information. (I used to have Kaiser about 10 years ago through work) During the call I confirmed I was interested in their transgender services, He asked what kind of services I was interested in and assumed immediately that I wanted GCS. OMG! I don't even know what it is I want yet! I did tell him that at a minimum I would like to see at least 2/3 of the dangly parts gone and a trachea shave as I have never like either. So off he goes with an orchiectomy! I had to stop him again and tell him I would probably incorporate that with GCS should I choose to do it and the trachea shave with VFS should I choose that also.. Anyway he has put in a referral to their gender program people and I'll be getting a call from them.
They are already getting things rolling and I am not even covered by them yet. Suddenly, I have this feeling of a large steam roller being aimed right at me.
Hugs,
Laurie
awesome for you Laurie, there's no slowing down now!
I wish there was something like Kaiser in Florida, I go nuthin' :(
Quote from: Faith on July 23, 2018, 05:16:23 PM
awesome for you Laurie, there's no slowing down now!
I wish there was something like Kaiser in Florida, I go nuthin' :(
Thank you Faith. Florida doesn't have any HMOs that offer a transgender program? I hope you can find insurance when you do decide you need it.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on July 23, 2018, 04:52:42 PM
Hi Folks,
I will be covered by Kaiser Permanente on August first.
I got a call from one of their customer service people to update my information. (I used to have Kaiser about 10 years ago through work) During the call I confirmed I was interested in their transgender services, He asked what kind of services I was interested in and assumed immediately that I wanted GCS. OMG! I don't even know what it is I want yet! I did tell him that at a minimum I would like to see at least 2/3 of the dangly parts gone and a trachea shave as I have never like either. So off he goes with an orchiectomy! I had to stop him again and tell him I would probably incorporate that with GCS should I choose to do it and the trachea shave with VFS should I choose that also.. Anyway he has put in a referral to their gender program people and I'll be getting a call from them.
They are already getting things rolling and I am not even covered by them yet. Suddenly, I have this feeling of a large steam roller being aimed right at me.
Hugs,
Laurie
Gulp! Plans!!!
Quote from: Laurie on July 23, 2018, 04:52:42 PM
Hi Folks,.......
Anyway he has put in a referral to their gender program people and I'll be getting a call from them.
They are already getting things rolling and I am not even covered by them yet. Suddenly, I have this feeling of a large steam roller being aimed right at me.
Hugs,
Laurie
Not to worry girl. That steam roller is all steam and you assert your individual care plan well after intake and interviews. I know the team over there, after nearly 6 years, and they include people that share our lived experience. I do encourage you to know about the small print as each plan is written for an individual or the company employees being covered. You may wish to ask specifically about that shave and haircut and ensure nothing you may want is excluded. See ya at the gender pathways clinic....
Quote from: Jessica on July 23, 2018, 06:24:45 PM
Gulp! Plans!!!
((((Slap))))
You know better! Especially at this point.
Quote from: Tessa James on July 23, 2018, 06:26:41 PM
Not to worry girl. That steam roller is all steam and you assert your individual care plan well after intake and interviews. I know the team over there, after nearly 6 years, and they include people that share our lived experience. I do encourage you to know about the small print as each plan is written for an individual or the company employees being covered. You may wish to ask specifically about that shave and haircut and ensure nothing you may want is excluded. See ya at the gender pathways clinic....
Are you going to come hold my hand?
btw You have mentioned knowing about Kaiser before, how? it may become relevant.....
Hugs,
Laurie
Hell yes i will hold your hand and not just in the clinic ;) Just give me a heads up and if you want some company I'm there. They are currently looking at a patient support program that involves just that sort of thing.
Yes i know them well and had to fight to get what is now standard of care practice. If nothing else i can be a distraction ;D
I trust your smarts Laurie and if you wana note taker or ally I'm ready.
Quote from: Laurie on June 18, 2018, 05:27:06 PM
What do you think?(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180618/2b34fd13feef671156e7947c637500ff.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180618/1a590ba7cb2e2a0c568c44f5d459a9cf.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180618/a3902be381dc2f9053e305332ed79cc2.jpg)
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
I think thats a fab look.... 😉 so natural..... Sooo you're coming to oz aye..... pick your season girl... 😉😆😊
Laurie you will be and do just fine. One little step at a time and we are all here for you. Btw you are looking fab girl
Quote from: Tessa James on July 23, 2018, 07:04:09 PM
Hell yes i will hold your hand and not just in the clinic ;) Just give me a heads up and if you want some company I'm there. They are currently looking at a patient support program that involves just that sort of thing.
Yes i know them well and had to fight to get what is now standard of care practice. If nothing else i can be a distraction ;D
I trust your smarts Laurie and if you wana note taker or ally I'm ready.
Thanks Tessa I knew you will help if I need some. Better believe I'll holler if I do.
Love ya,
Laurie
Quote from: Drexy/Drex on July 23, 2018, 08:29:49 PM
I think thats a fab look.... 😉 so natural..... Sooo you're coming to oz aye..... pick your season girl... 😉😆😊
OMG Drexy just look who is talking about looking "Fab" Here is a mirror in case you need one.
As for coming to Oz, well you know me. I have no plans and I don't know just what Michelle's are. I kinda like it that way. I hear Perth is not near anywhere. It's bad enough one needs to sail or fly off into the unknown and hope they happen to find that island they call Aussie land. I even hear Adelaide isn't close to civilization IF they have civilization there at all. What with kangaroos, crocodiles, aborigines, and most of the deadliest spiders and snakes in the world there I'm not sure why anyone would even go there. And I don't think you can get food without Vegemite in or on it.
Anyway talk to Michelle she might know something. She's a lot smarter than I am.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on July 23, 2018, 09:52:09 PM
OMG Drexy just look who is talking about looking "Fab" Here is a mirror in case you need one.
As for coming to Oz, well you know me. I have no plans and I don't know just what Michelle's are. I kinda like it that way. I hear Perth is not near anywhere. It's bad enough one needs to sail or fly off into the unknown and hope they happen to find that island they call Aussie land. I even hear Adelaide isn't close to civilization IF they have civilization there at all. What with kangaroos, crocodiles, aborigines, and most of the deadliest spiders and snakes in the world there I'm not sure why anyone would even go there. And I don't think you can get food without Vegemite in or on it.
Anyway talk to Michelle she might know something. She's a lot smarter than I am.
Hugs,
Laurie
In case you didn't hear me the first time (which you did)
The aborigines have a thriving civilization. You'll have a good time there in Adelaide with them.
Quote from: Donna on July 23, 2018, 09:18:13 PM
Laurie you will be and do just fine. One little step at a time and we are all here for you. Btw you are looking fab girl
Yes Donna that is how we get through this journey.. one small step at a time. And thank you for the compliment.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Jessica on July 23, 2018, 10:10:06 PM
In case you didn't hear me the first time (which you did)
The aborigines have a thriving civilization. You'll have a good time there in Adelaide with them.
I ignored you that first time like I am this time. :P :P :P :P :P :P
Quote from: Laurie on July 23, 2018, 04:52:42 PM
They are already getting things rolling and I am not even covered by them yet. Suddenly, I have this feeling of a large steam roller being aimed right at me.
Heh, heh. Welcome to Kaiser!
I can hold your hand, but Tessa knows Gender Pathways and the Oregon organization far better than I. I'm a NorCal Kaiser girl, Multi-Specialty Transitions is the clinic here.
Did wright a long reply but net disappeared so lost it and now cant remember all I put, any way your looking tidy with the new hair style, have been told by my stylist to keep the short hair do as fringe and longer hair makes me look older. TBH this hot weather its better and you can see my earrings!!!!
Quote from: Laurie on July 23, 2018, 09:52:09 PM
OMG Drexy just look who is talking about looking "Fab" Here is a mirror in case you need one.
As for coming to Oz, well you know me. I have no plans and I don't know just what Michelle's are. I kinda like it that way. I hear Perth is not near anywhere. It's bad enough one needs to sail or fly off into the unknown and hope they happen to find that island they call Aussie land. I even hear Adelaide isn't close to civilization IF they have civilization there at all. What with kangaroos, crocodiles, aborigines, and most of the deadliest spiders and snakes in the world there I'm not sure why anyone would even go there. And I don't think you can get food without Vegemite in or on it.
Anyway talk to Michelle she might know something. She's a lot smarter than I am.
Lol thanx but makeup be there ...your look is natural it's what I seek 👌
Hugs,
Laurie
Thx 😘There be makeup there girlfriend ....I seek your natural look ....I want pass without makeup
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180802/344389c5f7b63040fb50b1d667f0afdd.jpg)
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180802/788e9baf9832060e414de50f11a8c875.jpg)
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote from: Michelle_P on August 02, 2018, 04:54:01 PM
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180802/344389c5f7b63040fb50b1d667f0afdd.jpg)
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
SQUEEEEEEE!!!!
OMG OMG OMG! Squeeeee as well!
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Doing a little window shopping...
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180802/62071495dd7591e29d29b2043120404c.jpg)
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Add us to the SQUEEEEEEEEEE!!!! list. Are we going to be invited to the celebration?
Tia Anne
PS: Have we started something?
Laurelle?
When and where and can I be a bridesmaid?
Quote from: Jessica on August 02, 2018, 05:47:59 PM
When and where and can I be a bridesmaid?
I claim First Squeee! That means I can be a bridesmaid!
SQUEEEE^2
Stephanieeeeeeee!
Can I make the cake?? another member of the squeeeeeeeeeeeeee club
Michelle and Laurie sitting in a truck...
Oh, no, wait. That's not good. Never mind.
Quote from: Michelle_P on August 02, 2018, 04:54:01 PM
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180802/344389c5f7b63040fb50b1d667f0afdd.jpg)
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180802/788e9baf9832060e414de50f11a8c875.jpg)
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Whoa! I turn my back for a minute and all
hell heaven breaks out. I will join that collective SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
Squeeeeeee!! Wow! Secretly snaking in such news....
Congratulations!!!
How many bridesmaids can you take? All of us???
Wow! Congratulations to both of you, wonderful!
Hugs
Nicole
Whoa Whoa Whoa and wait just a darned minute. What all this squeeeeeeing and congratulations going on here? I think you all have jumped a few conclusions and made several assumptions. That ring isn't an engagement ring from Michelle to me. It was an engagement ring of Michelle's roommate from an old relationship that she decided to give to me this morning when I told her I needed to get me some rings. It is a very nice and pretty ring.
The pictures posted were taken when we were out to lunch today with Jessica and during our walk afterwards. We did do a little window shopping and looked at some dresses that I'm not ever likely to need but they are sure pretty. Every girl's dream, right?
Sorry this was not what you all hoped you were seeing though it does make for an enjoyable dream.
Hugs,
Laurie
I'm thinkin' we wuz set up, goils. We wuz played fer suckers and somebuddies gonna pay.
Who's wit me?
all we did was have a nice day sharing it with everyone.
Thinking "wow that is a nice picture of Laurie and Michelle, let's post it."
Thinking "what a nice thing for Michelle's roommate to do. Let's show the bling."
Thinking "Oh, isn't that a pretty dress in the window.
(thinking oh what might someone construe from all this)
(https://i.imgur.com/CiaFBP0.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/OjGKrGj.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/oQ0VaEn.jpg)
hugs and smiles, Lady Jessica
Hmmmm coincidence Huh? Sure we all buy that :laugh:
Well, I think engagements and such might be a little premature. Let's just see if Laurie and I can survive being in a Prius for 3-4 weeks traveling about. Think of it as the Electric Kool-aid Compatability Test, two modern Merry Pranksters roaming the countryside on a quest for coffee and chaos.
We shall see how this turns out...
Quote from: Steph2.0 on August 02, 2018, 05:57:07 PM
Michelle and Laurie sitting in a truck...
Oh, no, wait. That's not good. Never mind.
Drinking from a coffee cup?
Shopping for a hockey puck?
You're right, nothing works.[emoji23]
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
I think someone has been messing with our heads! ;)
Quote from: KathyLauren on August 03, 2018, 06:28:46 AM
I think someone has been messing with our heads! ;)
I can hear it now..."It's the minions doing...get her!"
@Laurie @Michelle_P @Jessica Very, very nice photos showing 3 very pretty girls out and about strutting your stuff.
Thank you for sharing with all of your followers.
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Jessica on August 02, 2018, 09:16:58 PM
all we did was have a nice day sharing it with everyone.
Thinking "wow that is a nice picture of Laurie and Michelle, let's post it."
Thinking "what a nice thing for Michelle's roommate to do. Let's show the bling."
Thinking "Oh, isn't that a pretty dress in the window.
(thinking oh what might someone construe from all this)
(https://i.imgur.com/CiaFBP0.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/OjGKrGj.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/oQ0VaEn.jpg)
hugs and smiles, Lady Jessica
What just happened? I go away for a couple of weeks and when I return I find pictures of rings and brides shops, talk of bridesmaids....... and a Prius! I think I even even saw the word "plans" being thrown around. I feel like I have entered a different dimension.
Can someone please confirm this Laurie's thread? This little Aussie girl has her head spinning.
If this thread belongs to the Laurie I know, I am very happy for you girl. [emoji3]
Hugs,
Jayne
@Laurie Dear Laurie:
I know that you are on a road trip and attended the wedding festivities of Tia Anne and Deb.... and that you are with
@Michelle_P .... but you do know that you can still find ways to get logged into the Forums and let your followers such as I know what is going on in your life lately...
Of course you might have difficulty responding if Michelle has you tied up in the back seat of her car....
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on August 14, 2018, 02:14:30 PM
Of course you might have difficulty responding if Michelle has you tied up in the back seat of her car....
You don't suppose she is stuck on top of someone's fridge, do you?
Quote from: KathyLauren on August 14, 2018, 05:43:54 PM
You don't suppose she is stuck on top of someone's fridge, do you?
Heh,Heh. .. Michelle here. How do you think I got into Lauries gadgets?
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Quote from: Laurie on August 14, 2018, 06:06:05 PM
Heh,Heh. .. Michelle here. How do you think I got into Lauries gadgets?
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
I was thinking that the Honey Badgers were guarding them from her.
You've trained them so well Mistress Michelle!
But the fridge top is apropos
Your humble minion, Lady Jessica
BTW...."flares" called, wondering if you were still interested in that dress in the window?
Quote from: Jessica on August 14, 2018, 06:12:04 PM
I was thinking that the Honey Badgers were guarding them from her.
You've trained them so well Mistress Michelle!
But the fridge top is apropos
Hey! Why weren't the sisters at Pleiades Place introduced to the honey badgers?! We didn't see hide nor hair of them!
We decided not to take a chance on breaking the fridge at someone else's house. I have no doubt, though, that orders will come down from on high to get up on our own fridges when we're all back home.
Stephanie/Sterope/Galaxy Girl
Hello again Folks,
Yep I am back at home again and have been since the 9/9/2018 (barely) So here I am on the home thread again. As most of you should know by now Michelle is able to fend for herself again and as I had several doctor appointments myself I came home. The only restriction Michelle has that I know of is she is not supposed to lift more than 5 pounds for the first month and she best be behaving and following those doctor's orders.
As mentioned, I had several doctor appointments on the 10 and one on the 11th. One of the tests I was supposed to have done was my 3 month CT scan. I didn't have it because when I rescheduled my doctor appointments so I could share in Tia and Debi's special day I forgot to reschedule the CT scan. oooops I'll just skip it this time and get it scheduled for the next cycle.
The other tests were all okay and within the expected ranges for a woman except for one. My estradiol was at 724.2 pg/mL which is great for a pregnant woman in her first trimester!! Hey folks, I'm pregnant!! Yes I forgot and took my pill about an hour before the blood was drawn. I had intended to wait until after the tests to take it and goofed. SIGH My mind was on other things. What can I say? The doc and I agreed we will just ignore it this time.
My oncologist said the tests she is interested in are okay. My Psychiatric Practical Nurse, my pill pusher, and I decided I should keep taking my antidepressant. My therapist and I had a nice talk mainly about my trip with Michelle and how her and I are doing. We ended with an agreement to not schedule another visit until I feel a need to have one. At the moment my personal crisis' and under control. That was my Monday.
On Tuesday I saw my GP and we talked about the pains I have. I have one that is always there with varying degrees of hurting that is on my right side in back up under the ribs. I also get another that gets quite sharp and hurts when I move yet is almost impossible to recreate. I get it when visiting Michelle at her place. The longer I am there the more it hurts. I have my suspicions what is causing it. My doc thinks it is an abused muscle but I don't really think so. Anyway he has ordered a couple back xrays to look at my back bone. He prescribed muscle relaxers so I've been taking them for about 4 days and sleeping a lot. I have no idea what is causing these two different pains but there isn't much I can do until they find something. I do know muscle relaxers do nothing for the first pain I described. That one isn't usually bad, just annoying.
Well folks that is the update on me.
Hugs,
Laurie
Thanks for the update sis, I hope the doc's straighten out your back pain.
I'll still be your pain in the neck!
Can't wait to babysit my niece!
Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Quote from: Jessica on September 16, 2018, 12:19:22 AM
Thanks for the update sis, I hope the doc's straighten out your back pain.
I'll still be your pain in the neck!
Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Yeah, neck is a good word... Pain in the a... Neck.
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Yes, Laurie, I am behaving. And the next time you are here, I'll be healed and we can readjust things so your back won't be pinched. I think I understand what was getting you.
Michelle
What you need is a good reflexologist, I know one but its a bit far to come!!!!! Seriously give it a go its done wonders for me.
Quote from: Laurie on September 15, 2018, 11:54:01 PM
Hello again Folks,
The other tests were all okay and within the expected ranges for a woman except for one. My estradiol was at 724.2 pg/mL which is great for a pregnant woman in her first trimester!! Hey folks, I'm pregnant!! Yes I forgot and took my pill about an hour before the blood was drawn. I had intended to wait until after the tests to take it and goofed. SIGH My mind was on other things. What can I say? The doc and I agreed we will just ignore it this time.
Hugs,
Laurie
Laurie - I spaced this exact thing, the last time we took blood tests. Two my two little blue pills about two hours before blood was drawn. ooops! I think my level was like 900+. We also agreed to ignore that result.
Quote from: RobynD on September 17, 2018, 10:46:36 AM
Laurie - I spaced this exact thing, the last time we took blood tests. Two my two little blue pills about two hours before blood was drawn. ooops! I think my level was like 900+. We also agreed to ignore that result.
Hi Robyn,
That is what my doctor and I decided. To give a better I idea what my base estradiol was, a week later I had some labs done at The Kaiser Gender Pathways Clinic after my first visit with them. My level that afternoo without having taken any since the night before was 70 pg/ml. It was 192 7 months ago.
Thanks for coming to my thread and reading it,
@RobynD Hugs,
Laurie
Hi folks,
I was talking to my sister Karen the other day. I was telling her about what I had decided about GCS at my Kaiser appointment. She told me whatever makes me happy is okay with her. She went on to say she likes who l have become since I started to transition. She also said she didn't like me before and the I was mean. She said there were times she want to just leave to get away from me but had nowhere to go. She said I was a Mean Rotten Bastard! I didn't think I had been that bad with her. Yes we had some arguments and I said mean things but that wasn't all the time.
Anyway she says I have changed and she like Laurie much better than that guy I tried to be and hated myself for the way I was.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Quote from: Laurie on September 23, 2018, 12:50:20 AM
Hi folks,
I was talking to my sister Karen the other day. I was telling her about what I had decided about GCS at my Kaiser appointment. She told me whatever makes me happy is okay with her. She went on to say she likes who l have become since I started to transition. She also said she didn't like me before and the I was mean. She said there were times she want to just leave to get away from me but had nowhere to go. She said I was a Mean Rotten Bastard! I didn't think I had been that bad with her. Yes we had some arguments and I said mean things but that wasn't all the time.
Anyway she says I have changed and she like Laurie much better than that guy I tried to be and hated myself for the way I was.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Laurie that's amazing that she felt you had made such significant changes and enough of them for her to be able to actually tell you that. She must feel very strongly about how different you are when you are being you and not living as someone you are not with all that pent up anger. I think it's a credit to the hard work you have put in to find out who you are and to take the steps to be that person despite losing some that are so important to you.
Take care
Liz
Quote from: Laurie on September 23, 2018, 12:50:20 AM... she says I have changed and she like Laurie much better than that guy I tried to be and hated myself for the way I was
Oh yeah!! this I get. It's wonderful :)
Quote from: Laurie on September 23, 2018, 12:50:20 AM.
she says I have changed and she like Laurie much better than that guy I tried to be and hated myself for the way I was.
I think that kind of thing is true for so many of us going through this.
I'm not sure I would have liked "that guy" either, but like everyone else here, I love our Laurie.
Stephanie
It's so affirming to get that kind of feedback from your sister, who knows you well. From my own experience with seeing you twice over the past 15 months, you now have a much more feminine demeanor and attitude, and it's a joy to see you. Keep on being you!
Sent from my Victor 9000 using Tapatalk
I don't see any signs of Mean Rotten in
@Laurie. That seems to be something we do with our male persona to keep away folks who might otherwise get too close and spot us hiding inside, that is, it is a part of the protective armor we wear while we are hiding.
When we stop hiding we can cast off all of that armor, and just be our authentic self.
Quote from: Michelle_P on September 23, 2018, 02:01:23 PM
I don't see any signs of Mean Rotten in @Laurie. That seems to be something we do with our male persona to keep away folks who might otherwise get too close and spot us hiding inside, that is, it is a part of the protective armor we wear while we are hiding.
When we stop hiding we can cast off all of that armor, and just be our authentic self.
I second that emotion! Oh sorry, too many meetings. But really Laurie, this seems a milestone on your way excellent journey and with darlings like Michelle and your entourage here and IRL having your back. Well, i know you probably can do it if needed but we need not whip out our old "mean and rotten" unless threatened with bodily harm perhaps?
Sometimes the situation seems to summon my worst puff up, tomboy, butch bitch but, i do feel better with the love, nurturing and welcoming parts of life. If the world is smiling back it might suggest we are on the right path.
@LizK @Faith @RandyL @Michelle_P @Tessa James @Steph2.0 Awwwww Thanks Ladies. You girls know how to bring tears to my eyes. I love what you all had to say. It was so sweet and it means a lot to me.
Love & Hugs,
Laurie
Hi folks,
Just a little update on a nice thing that happened yesterday. I was taking out some trash and saw a bit on the ground so I stooped to pick it up. A younger female neighbor that I had talked to only a couple short times, was in her car going out of the complex when she stopped and asked me something while I was doing it. I asked her what she had said and she asked if I had colored my hair, had it dyed? Then she said it looked really nice. Always quick witted I only said yes and thank you as a squeeeee work up inside. I was wearing the old reddish wig when we had talked before.
Hugs,
Laurie
@Laurie Quote from: Laurie on September 23, 2018, 12:50:20 AM
Hi folks,
I was talking to my sister Karen the other day. I was telling her about what I had decided about GCS at my Kaiser appointment. She told me whatever makes me happy is okay with her. She went on to say she likes who l have become since I started to transition. She also said she didn't like me before and the I was mean. She said there were times she want to just leave to get away from me but had nowhere to go. She said I was a Mean Rotten Bastard! I didn't think I had been that bad with her. Yes we had some arguments and I said mean things but that wasn't all the time.
Anyway she says I have changed and she like Laurie much better than that guy I tried to be and hated myself for the way I was.
Hugs,
Laurie
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
I must have been missing these updates, because you mentioned this in a recent conversation, it was lost on me why your sister would say that to you. Karen is too sweet to say that about you now, she loves you and she is happy with you, I saw it in her eyes. Now I read the backstory and your version to me omitted much. You like tricking me don't you.
Well it serves me right for being lax in my readings.
And Mean Rotten was gone before I ever met you.
Sweet Lovely kicked his butt.
Hugs and smiles from the other California girl
Quote from: Jessica on September 26, 2018, 12:49:27 AM
@Laurie
And Mean Rotten was gone before I ever met you.
Sweet Lovely kicked his butt.
Hugs and smiles from the other California girl
Yes! MeanRotten had left the room quite a while ago. Our sweet lovely Laurie doesn't show any signs of that old persona.
Michelle
Quote from: Laurie on September 25, 2018, 10:50:29 PM
Hi folks,
Just a little update on a nice thing that happened yesterday. I was taking out some trash and saw a bit on the ground so I stooped to pick it up. A younger female neighbor that I had talked to only a couple short times, was in her car going out of the complex when she stopped and asked me something while I was doing it. I asked her what she had said and she asked if I had colored my hair, had it dyed? Then she said it looked really nice. Always quick witted I only said yes and thank you as a squeeeee work up inside. I was wearing the old reddish wig when we had talked before.
Hugs,
Laurie
Nice.... ;D
Quote from: Laurie on September 25, 2018, 10:50:29 PM
Hi folks,
Just a little update on a nice thing that happened yesterday. I was taking out some trash and saw a bit on the ground so I stooped to pick it up. A younger female neighbor that I had talked to only a couple short times, was in her car going out of the complex when she stopped and asked me something while I was doing it. I asked her what she had said and she asked if I had colored my hair, had it dyed? Then she said it looked really nice. Always quick witted I only said yes and thank you as a squeeeee work up inside. I was wearing the old reddish wig when we had talked before.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: LizK on September 27, 2018, 05:51:45 AM
Nice.... ;D
Wait, what? How'd I miss this post. Way to go on getting such a complimentary question, controlling your squee, and not wigging out.
Quote from: Faith on September 27, 2018, 10:47:00 AM
Wait, what? How'd I miss this post. Way to go on getting such a complimentary question, controlling your squee, and not wigging out.
It was only a small thing and therefore only worthy of a small squeeee.
Quote from: Laurie on September 27, 2018, 12:33:31 PM
It was only a small thing and therefore only worthy of a small squeeee.
SQUEEEEEE!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Well I recon that deserves a big SQUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Thanks you two.
My bag is packed. I'm almost ready to go....
Quote from: davina61 on September 27, 2018, 03:16:05 PM
Well I recon that deserves a big SQUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
@Laurie Dear Laurie: This is wonderful news.... getting unsolicited and casual compliments and correct gender recognition.....
Well, personally I think you deserve a
Wowzers and a
Wow-Whee Travel safe and stay on the right side of the road if you can.
Hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Laurie on October 04, 2018, 06:48:22 PM
My bag is packed. I'm almost ready to go....
I'll see you soon sis...
Yes you will Jessica.
Play on the road again for me.
Quote from: Laurie on October 04, 2018, 08:14:40 PM
Yes you will Jessica.
Play on the road again for me.
But I might get runned over!
Oh....you mean Willie
Quote from: Laurie on October 04, 2018, 06:48:22 PM
My bag is packed. I'm almost ready to go....
Squeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Quote from: Michelle_P on October 04, 2018, 10:01:33 PM
Squeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
@Michelle_P cc: @Laurie Dear Michelle:How long is
Laurie's visit planned for? It sounds like you are getting ready for a good time.
Pictures will be needed to document her time with you and your group of local friends.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on October 04, 2018, 10:11:12 PM
@Michelle_P cc: @Laurie
Dear Michelle:
How long is Laurie's visit planned for? It sounds like you are getting ready for a good time.
Pictures will be needed to document her time with you and your group of local friends.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
planned!?!!Hah! Laurie...
planned...
Oh, my.
🤣😂🤪
Quote from: Michelle_P on October 04, 2018, 10:17:20 PM
planned!?!!
Hah! Laurie... planned...
Oh, my. 🤣😂🤪
@Michelle_P cc: @Laurie Dear Michelle: I take it from your comment reply that
Laurie may not be the "planner" that you and I are? ???
DanielleDictionary
verb
past tense: planned; past participle: planned
1.
decide on and arrange in advance.
"they were planning a trip to Egypt"
synonyms: organize, arrange, work out, design, outline, map out, prepare, schedule, formulate, frame, develop, devise, concoct; plot, scheme, hatch, brew, slate
"plan your route in advance"
intend, aim, propose, mean, hope, want, wish, desire, envisage;
formalpurpose
"he plans to buy a house"
@Alaskan Danielle Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on October 04, 2018, 10:31:09 PM
@Michelle_P cc: @Laurie
Dear Michelle:
I take it from your comment reply that Laurie may not be the "planner" that you and I are? ???
Danielle
Dictionary
verb
past tense: planned; past participle: planned
1.
decide on and arrange in advance.
"they were planning a trip to Egypt"
synonyms: organize, arrange, work out, design, outline, map out, prepare, schedule, formulate, frame, develop, devise, concoct; plot, scheme, hatch, brew, slate
"plan your route in advance"
intend, aim, propose, mean, hope, want, wish, desire, envisage;
formalpurpose
"he plans to buy a house"
Danielle, evidently you do not know Laurie well enough to know that if you use the 'P' word in connection with anything about her.....you end up on the top of a fridge.
You have been warned.
Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Quote from: Jessica on October 04, 2018, 11:21:25 PM
@Alaskan Danielle
Danielle, evidently you do not know Laurie well enough to know that if you use the 'P' word in connection with anything about her.....you end up on the top of a fridge.
You have been warned.
Hugs and smiles from a California girl
@Jessica Dear Jess:
I don't need a fridge up here in the winter time, it has been below freezing most nights and mornings lately... oh, and I am certain that
@Laurie does make plans.... she plans to put everyone on top of the fridge that gives her any trouble !!!! LOL ;)
Danielle
@Alaskan Danielle Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on October 05, 2018, 12:43:23 AM
@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I don't need a fridge up here in the winter time, it has been below freezing most nights and mornings lately... oh, and I am certain that @Laurie does make plans.... she plans to put everyone on top of the fridge that gives her any trouble !!!! LOL ;)
Danielle
🏃♀️ Sprints away quickly, not wishing to be collateral damage.
Quote from: Michelle_P on October 04, 2018, 10:17:20 PM
planned!?!!
Hah! Laurie... planned...
Oh, my.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
"Planned":laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on October 04, 2018, 10:11:12 PM
@Michelle_P cc: @Laurie
Dear Michelle:
How long is Laurie's visit planned for? It sounds like you are getting ready for a good time.
Pictures will be needed to document her time with you and your group of local friends.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on October 04, 2018, 10:31:09 PM
@Michelle_P cc: @Laurie
Dear Michelle:
I take it from your comment reply that Laurie may not be the "planner" that you and I are? ???
Danielle
Dictionary
verb
past tense: planned; past participle: planned
1.
decide on and arrange in advance.
"they were planning a trip to Egypt"
synonyms: organize, arrange, work out, design, outline, map out, prepare, schedule, formulate, frame, develop, devise, concoct; plot, scheme, hatch, brew, slate
"plan your route in advance"
intend, aim, propose, mean, hope, want, wish, desire, envisage;
formalpurpose
"he plans to buy a house"
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on October 05, 2018, 12:43:23 AM
@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I don't need a fridge up here in the winter time, it has been below freezing most nights and mornings lately... oh, and I am certain that @Laurie does make plans.... she plans to put everyone on top of the fridge that gives her any trouble !!!! LOL ;)
Danielle
Quote from: Jessica on October 04, 2018, 11:21:25 PM
@Alaskan Danielle
Danielle, evidently you do not know Laurie well enough to know that if you use the 'P' word in connection with anything about her.....you end up on the top of a fridge.
You have been warned.
Hugs and smiles from a California girl
@Alaskan Danielle DANIELLE!,
I have counted four times in which you deliberately and willfully use a forbidden word in reference to me. This is extremely disturbing to me that you could ever do such a thing. What, oh what, has become of Alaska's (and our) sweetheart? How could you have done such a thing. But what disturbs me even more is that in the face of the scoffing at your obvious mistake you continued to misbehave. Even when my mischievous tease of a little sister warned you, you not only persisted but scoffed at her warnings of dire consequences. You scoffed and dare me to try to issue the customary disciplinary measures. For this ill advised behavior you shall be banished to your fridge top for an Alaskan winter night. It matters not that your fridge is not a necessary requirement in winter to keep food cold. You do have a fridge, onto which you shall be incarcerated until the next spring thaw.
It may interest you to know that my Lil' Sis was emboldened by your blatant defiance of consequences that she too has stepped out of line and shares your fate albeit for a lesser period of time. (She is after all Family)
Danielle, Fridge NOW!
The Laurie has spoken!
Hugs,
Laurie
Oh, Danielle, lest you're thinking about putting your fingers in your ears and yelling, "I can't hear you, la-la-la-la-la!" I'm here to tell you it does nothing more than enrage Laurania. Trust me on this.
Stephanie, sadder but wiser.
Quote from: Laurie on October 05, 2018, 09:46:08 PM
@Alaskan Danielle
DANIELLE!,
I have counted for times in which you deliberately and willfully use a forbidden word in reference to me. This is extremely disturbing to me that you could ever do such a thing. What, oh what, has become of Alaska's (and our) sweetheart? How could you have done such a thing. But what disturbs me even more is that in the face of the scoffing at your obvious mistake you continued to misbehave. Even when my mischievous tease of a little sister warned you, you not only persisted but scoffed at her warnings of dire consequences. You scoffed and dare me to try to issue the customary disciplinary measures. For this ill advised behavior you shall be banished to your fridge top for an Alaskan winter night. It matters not that your fridge is not a necessary requirement in winter to keep food cold. You do have a fridge, onto which you shall be incarcerated until the next spring thaw.
It may interest you to know that my Lil' Sis was emboldened by your blatant defiance of consequences that she too has stepped out of line and shares your fate albeit for a lesser period of time. (She is after all Family)
Danielle, Fridge NOW!
The Laurie has spoken!
Hugs,
Laurie
@Laurie Dear Mistress Laurie:
OK Ma'am, I will try to obey your wishes Mistress Laurie ...
...but first I need to find my stepladder. I am short and the fridge is tall.
Danielle
Quote from: Steph2.0 on October 05, 2018, 09:52:18 PM
Oh, Danielle, lest you're thinking about putting your fingers in your ears and yelling, "I can't hear you, la-la-la-la-la!" I'm here to tell you it does nothing more than enrage Laurania. Trust me on this.
Stephanie, sadder but wiser.
@Steph2.0 Dear Stephanie,
Thank you for sharing your wisdom and for the tip.
Danielle
@Laurie @Alaskan Danielle Quote from: Laurie on October 05, 2018, 09:46:08 PM
@Alaskan Danielle
DANIELLE!,
I have counted for times in which you deliberately and willfully use a forbidden word in reference to me. This is extremely disturbing to me that you could ever do such a thing. What, oh what, has become of Alaska's (and our) sweetheart? How could you have done such a thing. But what disturbs me even more is that in the face of the scoffing at your obvious mistake you continued to misbehave. Even when my mischievous tease of a little sister warned you, you not only persisted but scoffed at her warnings of dire consequences. You scoffed and dare me to try to issue the customary disciplinary measures. For this ill advised behavior you shall be banished to your fridge top for an Alaskan winter night. It matters not that your fridge is not a necessary requirement in winter to keep food cold. You do have a fridge, onto which you shall be incarcerated until the next spring thaw.
It may interest you to know that my Lil' Sis was emboldened by your blatant defiance of consequences that she too has stepped out of line and shares your fate albeit for a lesser period of time. (She is after all Family)
Danielle, Fridge NOW!
The Laurie has spoken!
Hugs,
Laurie
I need to bring something over for my big sis to take up north in Laurie's Lorry. So of course I told her "We will firm up a Projected Logistics Agreement Nexus" P.L.A.N. for short.....
She actually replied "eventually". Tricksy I am. Perched I will stay. But warmer than Danielle
Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Quote from: Jessica on October 05, 2018, 10:03:42 PM
@Laurie @Alaskan Danielle
I need to bring something over for my big sis to take up north in Laurie's Lorry. So of course I told her "We will firm up a Projected Logistics Agreement Nexus" P.L.A.N. for short.....
She actually replied "eventually". Tricksy I am. Perched I will stay. But warmer than Danielle
Hugs and smiles from a California girl
@Jessica Make that a full week! I care not for your imagined acronyms.
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on October 05, 2018, 09:57:41 PM
@Laurie
Dear Mistress Laurie:
OK Ma'am, I will try to obey your wishes Mistress Laurie ...
...but first I need to find my stepladder. I am short and the fridge is tall.
Danielle
@Alaskan Danielle - would you care to add another winter night?
Quote
Quote from: Michelle_P on October 05, 2018, 10:10:00 AM
I have company staying with me. SQUEEEEEEEEEEE!
@Michelle_P
Dear Michelle:
I am assuming that you are talking about @Laurie ...
with saying, I am so very happy for you two... I am very glad that she arrived safely.
Might I suggest that you keep your distance away from the fridge while she is there. ;)
How long is the visit "Planned" for...
I know, I know, I am taking a big change writing out the "P" word ......
Hugs to both of you,
Danielle
That made me giggle even with a thick head (prosecco induced) have a nice time with your love , hugs all round XXXX
Um, refrigerators work by moving heat away from all those evil calories safely stored behind the door, out to the coils behind the fridge where heat rises. The warmest place in the Alaskan tundra might be on top of a fridge. But yeah that would be punishment in Florida.
I hope it's not an Amana. Some appliance names are sexist. But Laurie would typo it Amama so that's ok.
Quote from: Kendra on October 06, 2018, 10:43:08 AM
Um, refrigerators work by moving heat away from all those evil calories safely stored behind the door, out to the coils behind the fridge where heat rises. The warmest place in the Alaskan tundra might be on top of a fridge. But yeah that would be punishment in Florida.
I hope it's not an Amana. Some appliance names are sexist. But Laurie would typo it Amama so that's ok.
You say funny and witty things! I still remember your comment on receiving Ken's Salad Dressing after your surgery earlier this year.
Please keep on sharing your wit and of couse, your experiences with us. I certainly enjoy hearing of them.
Chrissy
Oh my!!!! I have missed a few days of this thread only to come here and nearly burst my sides out in laughter!!! [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Seriously!!! Laurie and the "P" word!!! [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣[emoji23][emoji23]
Danielle, you are soooooooo funny!!! And shame on the rest of you for coaxing our sweet northern angel into using that word more than once in reference to Laurie.
Laurie........planning?!!!??? [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Jayne (cleaning too of fridge)
Quote from: Jayne01 on October 07, 2018, 03:41:20 PM
Oh my!!!! I have missed a few days of this thread only to come here and nearly burst my sides out in laughter!!! [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Seriously!!! Laurie and the "P" word!!! [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣[emoji23][emoji23]
Danielle, you are soooooooo funny!!! And shame on the rest of you for coaxing our sweet northern angel into using that word more than once in reference to Laurie.
Laurie........planning?!!!??? [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Jayne (cleaning too of fridge)
@Jayne01 You're safe Jayne. You like others tried to inform and enlighten her That is okay even though you used the word p p p pl .... yeah that word. My lil sister on the other hand keeps pushing her luck and therefore spends a lot of time on her fridge. Danielle persisted in it's usage in spite of being warned. She got what she deserved.
Wow Weeee Jayne imminent name change and coming out at work????? congrats, Girl !!
Hugs,
Laurie
I'm
P.leasantly
L.ounging
A.bove
N.naturally
Quote from: Jessica on October 07, 2018, 11:16:11 PM
I'm
P.leasantly
L.ounging
A.bove
N.aturally
@Jessica cc; @LaurieDear Jess:
You better be careful about mentioning the P-word PLAN here on Laurie's thread. If you persist she will make PLANS to put you on top of the fridge.... that is her PLAN all the time.... she PLANS these things to torment those who use the PLAN word in any of your PLANNED context.
Hugs,
Danielle
@Alaskan Danielle Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on October 07, 2018, 11:25:37 PM
@Jessica cc; @Laurie
Dear Jess:
You better be careful about mentioning the P-word PLAN on Laurie's thread. If you persist she will make PLANS to put you on top of the fridge.... that is her PLAN all the time.... she PLANS these things to torment those who use the PLAN word in any of your PLANNED context.
Hugs,
Danielle
Yesterday at lunch, she suddenly looked up at me and said..."Hey, you're supposed to be up on your fridge!".
I
P.ositively
L.aughed
A.bove the
N.oise
Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Quote from: Jessica on October 07, 2018, 11:36:45 PM
@Alaskan Danielle
Yesterday at lunch, she suddenly looked up at me and said..."Hey, you're supposed to be up on your fridge!".
I
P.ositively
L.aughed
A.bove the
N.oise
Hugs and smiles from a California girl
@Jessica Dear Jess:
When I go to bed to night I will be dreaming about how to make more acronyms for the words
PLAN or
PLANNING.
I suppose that we are living dangerously by tormenting
@Laurie .... but she must realize that we are just having some fun with her..... right???
WE LOVE YOU LAURIE !!!!Hugs,
Danielle
ugh huh, ugh huh chure you are. I see that "F.ortuitous U.nabashed N.onsense " at my expense. Both of you are pushing your luck.
Quote from: Laurie on October 07, 2018, 10:35:40 PM
@Jayne01
You're safe Jayne. You like others tried to inform and enlighten her That is okay even though you used the word p p p pl .... yeah that word. My lil sister on the other hand keeps pushing her luck and therefore spends a lot of time on her fridge. Danielle persisted in it's usage in spite of being warned. She got what she deserved.
Wow Weeee Jayne imminent name change and coming out at work????? congrats, Girl !!
Hugs,
Laurie
Hey Laurie!
Thank you for the congrats. I am really looking forward to the name change coming through and coming out at work. I am PLANNING to introduce Jayne to my immediate coworkers on Wednesday. Then the PLAN is for my manager to send out an email to the whole engineering department.
If you are PLANNING to now send me on top of the fridge, you had better make a PLAN to come down under, or at the very least PLAN to tell Michelle to make this travel PLAN.
Now it is time for me to PLAN my escape.
Luvs ya girl!
<sounds of Jayne running away>
You better run...
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
Quote from: Laurie on October 08, 2018, 01:14:35 AM
You better run...
Sent from my LGL44VL using Tapatalk
She is a bit distracted at the moment, she totally missed mine ;D...keep going Jayne...I think you could be safe LOL :laugh: at least for awhile....
I thought that was P. ickup L.ongdistance A,nd N.avigation
Alright girls I'm gunna hunt y'all down and smack ya all who are coming up with those acronyms. Starting with that instigator Jessica.
And ((St(e)ph)an)(ie) do not think your name games haven't been noticed.....
Laurie is such an easy name to remember and spell. It's not at all as difficult as Manuca, Monotony, or whatever her name is. Monicia? no, but that's close I think.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on October 09, 2018, 05:46:45 PM
Alright girls I'm gunna hunt y'all down and smack ya all who are coming up with those acronyms. Starting with that instigator Jessica.
And ((St(e)ph)an)(ie) do not think your name games haven't been noticed.....
Laurie is such an easy name to remember and spell. It's not at all as difficult as Manuca, Monotony, or whatever her name is. Monicia? no, but that's close I think.
Hugs,
Laurie
@LaurieDear Laurie:I think there is a TOS rule about name calling and threatening other members.... or something like you are are maybe doing with the creators of the Acronymns and also possibly with our beloved
@HappyMoni .... I don't want Monica to get bad vibes from all of this and delete her profile.... I do care for her, she is a sweetheart [emoji173]... and are you ever going to take her down from the top of the fridge as shown in her Avatar/Profile picture ? ???
.... but then, I think that you too are a sweetheart
Laurie. [emoji173]
Love to you all,
Hugs and more hugs,
Danielle
Ok. Pro tip...
Don't start catching up on this thread at "Danielle !" I thought something was seriously wrong, and thankfully I read on to realize I missed a big part of the story. Next time I "plan" to go back further.
You are all too funny.
Thanks for the fun. I needed it.
Karen
Quote from: Karen on October 09, 2018, 06:31:30 PM
Ok. Pro tip...
Don't start catching up on this thread at "Danielle !" I thought something was seriously wrong, and thankfully I read on to realize I missed a big part of the story. Next time I "plan" to go back further.
You are all too funny.
Thanks for the fun. I needed it.
Karen
@Karen Dear Karen:
No worries! As you can see, this is a very fast moving thread chock full of innuendos and poking good fun at each other...
... once you catch up you can easily determine that everyone is having a great time here.
Hugs,
Danielle
Laurie Possitively
Loves
All of these
Natterings.
And thusly I retired to my Amana
I really dont't know what the issue is here because I am Postive Lauries Always Nice
Its true isn't it.
@Laurie cc: @Michelle_P Dear Laurie:All of this fun is indeed lots of fun.... but I would love to see your thread get back on the rails so you can post informative and interesting updates about yourself and your goings-on for all of your followers to read about.
If you feel so led, I am more than ready to hear about
YOU and also about your visit with
Michelle and other friends from the Forums that you have in the bay area.!!!!!
Hugs and more hugs,
Danielle
Please Laurie, Any New updates?
Okay I will make an update.
I drove down to visit Michelle. I was there about 10 days. We did stuff sometimes with Jessica. I drove home today.
Hugs,
Laurie
Ok, way to put your heart into it :P
But we know all about you from others. Your shadow is long and encompassing...
Quote from: Laurie on October 15, 2018, 02:31:39 AM
Okay I will make and update.
I drove down to visit Michelle. I was there about 10 days. We did stuff sometimes with Jessica. I drove home today.
Hugs,
Laurie
@Laurie Dear Laurie:Well your temporary fun is over, and yes an update is absolutely required...
...with pictures if you feel so led.
I am glad that you were able to not only be with
@Michelle_P but also you were both
able to visit with
@Jessica.Fun Times that your followers want to hear about....
... and I will borrow what
@Jayne01 stated in her comment:
Please
Laurie,
Any
New updates?
Hugs,
Danielle
Just to let everyone know: I received cryptic messages from Laurie and upon arriving home found clear evidence that she had visited and thoughtfully delivered wonderful water gifts from Jessica down south a ways. Water truly is our first need and I might save a little of Oregon's abundance thanks to them.
These girls do so much more than just haul ass occasionally!
Thank you Jessica, Laurie and all......see ya soon maybe?
You are welcome Tessa. I was happy to help both Jessica and you by delivering those containers. I hope my placement of them was okay and out of the way for you. If not then move them yourself or wait for Jessica to help on Saturday when we get there with the two others.
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on October 16, 2018, 01:33:16 PM
You are welcome Tessa. I was happy to help both Jessica and you by delivering those containers. I hope my placement of them was okay and out of the way for you. If not then move them yourself or wait for Jessica to help on Saturday when we get there with the two others.
Hugs,
Laurie
@Laurie Dear Laurie:
You sometimes display a tough as nails shell .... but you are really are a most
caring and
thoughtful person as evidenced by many of the good things that members here say about you....
... me included.
Thank you for being you.
Hugs,
Danielle
Hi folks,
I was making a reply in another thread a few minutes ago. I was giving my thoughts on doubts and thaat such thoughts are probably common to a lot of us when I decided my thoughts were probably more appropriate here in my own thread. So here they are..
We all seem to have though nagging stubborn thoughts we live with in transitioning. Am I doing the right thing? Who am I kidding? What if I'm wrong?
You would think that after almost 2 years on hormones, changing my name, joining Kaiser so the door is open to surgeries, and deciding to pursue GCS, these thoughts would be gone. Nope, still there and worse some days more than others. Will they ever leave me alone? I sincerely doubt it. I fear what may happen if these doubts ever really grab a hold in my head. I consider what I have done already to be irreversible. There is no going back. There is only an end.
Today I go to a class on vaginoplasty for people contemplating GCS. Yep, that would be me. Another step in the process. Monday I visit with my therapist and should be picking up my two letters required for GCS. Another step. The next thing will be to turn in all the requested documentation the Kaiser doc said she needs in order to make referrals for electrolysis and GCS. Moving ahead, always ahead. Doggedly. It is what we do. But what if I'm wrong? I don't know. I don't know what I might do. But it scares me. I can't be wrong. Can't be fooling myself. But...
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on October 16, 2018, 01:43:17 PM
Hi folks,
I was making a reply in another thread a few minutes ago. I was giving my thoughts on doubts and thaat such thoughts are probably common to a lot of us when I decided my thoughts were probably more appropriate here in my own thread. So here they are..
We all seem to have though nagging stubborn thoughts we live with in transitioning. Am I doing the right thing? Who am I kidding? What if I'm wrong?
You would think that after almost 2 years on hormones, changing my name, joining Kaiser so the door is open to surgeries, and deciding to pursue GCS, these thoughts would be gone. Nope, still there and worse some days more than others. Will they ever leave me alone? I sincerely doubt it. I fear what may happen if these doubts ever really grab a hold in my head. I consider what I have done already to be irreversible. There is no going back. There is only an end.
Today I go to a class on vaginoplasty for people contemplating GCS. Yep, that would be me. Another step in the process. Monday I visit with my therapist and should be picking up my two letters required for GCS. Another step. The next thing will be to turn in all the requested documentation the Kaiser doc said she needs in order to make referrals for electrolysis and GCS. Moving ahead, always ahead. Doggedly. It is what we do. But what if I'm wrong? I don't know. I don't know what I might do. But it scares me. I can't be wrong. Can't be fooling myself. But...
Laurie
@Laurie Dear Laurie:
Doubts and fears will always be just a thought or two away as we go down our transition road... you have made and carried through many decisions to get where you are now on your transition road....
Reminds me of an old song....
"You've Come Too Far To Turn Back Now"
I can't turn back,
I won't turn back,
come too far to turn back now.So Laurie, please put your doubts and fears aside....
Positive thoughts are required.
All of that sounds like good advice to me.
Hugs,
Danielle
I'm right there with you today Laurie. I don't know why, but today has been a really bad day for doubting my decision. All those thoughts about whether I'm making the right decision have been just on the edge of my mind. They keep trying to creep in. I'm have to keep focusing on other things when they do. Today has just been kinda blah for me.
I keep hearing that song Foolin' by Def Leppard play in my head.
"I'm not foolin myself..."
Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk
Hmmm...I think you and I need to have another little "chat"....Don't make me come find you!!
Take care
Liz
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
@Laurie Quote from: Laurie on October 16, 2018, 01:43:17 PM
Hi folks,
I was making a reply in another thread a few minutes ago. I was giving my thoughts on doubts and thaat such thoughts are probably common to a lot of us when I decided my thoughts were probably more appropriate here in my own thread. So here they are..
We all seem to have though nagging stubborn thoughts we live with in transitioning. Am I doing the right thing? Who am I kidding? What if I'm wrong?
You would think that after almost 2 years on hormones, changing my name, joining Kaiser so the door is open to surgeries, and deciding to pursue GCS, these thoughts would be gone. Nope, still there and worse some days more than others. Will they ever leave me alone? I sincerely doubt it. I fear what may happen if these doubts ever really grab a hold in my head. I consider what I have done already to be irreversible. There is no going back. There is only an end.
Today I go to a class on vaginoplasty for people contemplating GCS. Yep, that would be me. Another step in the process. Monday I visit with my therapist and should be picking up my two letters required for GCS. Another step. The next thing will be to turn in all the requested documentation the Kaiser doc said she needs in order to make referrals for electrolysis and GCS. Moving ahead, always ahead. Doggedly. It is what we do. But what if I'm wrong? I don't know. I don't know what I might do. But it scares me. I can't be wrong. Can't be fooling myself. But...
Laurie
Hi sis, I on a regular basis have questioned myself.....
All those thoughts of "is this real", "am I crazy", "what am I thinking", "I'll never pass",
WHAT IF I'm WRONG???
This is a real thing! I'm not crazy! I've been thinking these thoughts for decades! I just might pass in the future! But what if I'm wrong???
There is no test if you are wrong or right. It takes knowing yourself and trusting that you are making good decisions.
It was only last night that I mused again, and it became clearer to me than it ever had...that I was indeed doing the right thing. I mean, who would subject themselves to even electrolysis for a maybe. But when I thought of who in my life I've been, it's always had a feminine slant to it.
The only thing masculine was my sex drive, and even that was misplaced. I had long hair (I wasn't a hippie, missed that boat) that I had for decades. For me it's finding a balance that works in my semi-structured life. For you, it's the Wild West.
You have lived a life of a woman for a while and have found happiness that had eluded you for your entire life. You've gone through great sacrifice to be who you are. I see your real smile quite often and feel you have made the correct choice.
Love you, Little sis
I will see you in a few days.... it's time for me to help you with a real hug.
Laurie, we all have those doubts and they are not uncommon. The fact your having those doubts is a good sign that your wanting and trying to make sure you make the best decisions possible that fit you and that you won't regret later. There is nothing wrong with that all. If GCS ends up being what you need, then congrats. You have plenty of time to figure it out along the way before anything occurs. I have know doubt you will be happy with your decision in the end. Hugs
Mariah
Quote from: Laurie on October 16, 2018, 01:43:17 PM
Hi folks,
I was making a reply in another thread a few minutes ago. I was giving my thoughts on doubts and thaat such thoughts are probably common to a lot of us when I decided my thoughts were probably more appropriate here in my own thread. So here they are..
We all seem to have though nagging stubborn thoughts we live with in transitioning. Am I doing the right thing? Who am I kidding? What if I'm wrong?
You would think that after almost 2 years on hormones, changing my name, joining Kaiser so the door is open to surgeries, and deciding to pursue GCS, these thoughts would be gone. Nope, still there and worse some days more than others. Will they ever leave me alone? I sincerely doubt it. I fear what may happen if these doubts ever really grab a hold in my head. I consider what I have done already to be irreversible. There is no going back. There is only an end.
Today I go to a class on vaginoplasty for people contemplating GCS. Yep, that would be me. Another step in the process. Monday I visit with my therapist and should be picking up my two letters required for GCS. Another step. The next thing will be to turn in all the requested documentation the Kaiser doc said she needs in order to make referrals for electrolysis and GCS. Moving ahead, always ahead. Doggedly. It is what we do. But what if I'm wrong? I don't know. I don't know what I might do. But it scares me. I can't be wrong. Can't be fooling myself. But...
Laurie
Hi Folks,
Thank you all for the words of encouragement. I'm fine. Really I am. I think I was just cleaning out some cobwebs in my head. Yes, I do get those "what ifs" doesn't everyone. They nag at you and try to torment you when they come avisiting. I have other thoughts that hurt and torment me. If I dwell on those it could be bad. So I have those all packed up in a box stuffed in the corner of my head. It's an old worn box with a couple holes though and sometimes those get out. I gather them up and put them back in. But not tonight.
I went to the OHSU vaginoplasty class today as suggested so that one is out of the way. It was interesting but there really wasn't anything I was not aware of already. I met another lady there who is on another FB group I am part of. She lives in Washington and goes to these classes regularly. I did hear that Dugi will postpone a surgery if the patient does not have a support based for home care and someone to drive them home upon release from the hospital. He will test for nicotine before the surgery and will postpone the surgery if he doesn't like the results.
Tomorrow is another 2 hour session with Christina my electrologist (alternate therapist) So that will make for a fun afternoon.
Well, I am taking my aching back to bed since I've already take a muscle relaxer and a melatonin. Perhaps it will feel better in the morning. Good Night all.
Hugs,
Laurie
@Laurie Dear Laurie:
I am so glad that you are getting your head wrapped around all of the issues that you are dealing with.
Tomorrow is a new day, the sun will rise again... so at least it will start out well, go with it and continue on.
Have fun being electrocuted tomorrow... that will certainly make your day!!!!
How many more sessions are you estimating that you will require?
Well, it sounds like that you are all medicated and ready for a hopefully good sleep tonight.
Nighty night... take 2 aspirin, go to bed, and login in the morning.
Hugs and hugs, and wishing you well.
Danielle
Quote from: Laurie on October 16, 2018, 10:52:32 PM
> I went to the OHSU vaginoplasty class today
I didn't do anything like that before GCS, but you already knew I have no class.
You sure are lovable for being so MeanRotten.
And @Kendra, how egalitarian of you. Classless!
Stephanie
New paint job today.
(https://i.imgur.com/AlM0d9o.jpg)
I have been talking with my electrologist about my possibly getting some of my electrolysis covered through Kaiser. Christina is wanting to become a provider for Kaiser and I have been trying to help her with contacts. She finally connected with the person she needed to talk to about 2 weeks ago. but had not heard back from her again.
That was the status when I saw Christina for my facial torture session yesterday. Today I got a message from Christina saying she talked to the lady at Kaiser and now she needed to talk to me. I called her today and she needed to verify I was a Kaiser member and told me that I needed to get my Gender clinic doc to submit my referral to her so she could move forward in getting my electrologist set up and authorized to be my Kaiser provider.
So now I had stuff to do to keep the ball rolling. Specifically I needed to provide my gender doc with 6 months to a year of testosterone results showing my T below 100. I took screenshots of my last 3 T labs from the VA covering about a year and a half all below 100 and manipulated them into the acceptable format needed to send them into my Kaiser Doc. (I was going to deliver everything to her in 1 envelope on Monday or Tuesday after I get my 2 letters) Anyway the Kaiser doc got then and submitted a referral for electrolysis. This will go to the woman I talked to earlier and she will then set up my electrologist as an authorized provider so I can still go the her with Kaiser covering most of the cost.
It will be a win win win for Kaiser in getting a provider in my area, for Christina because she will be a provider and getting more clients, and for me because I won't have to go into Portland for electrolysis and will be able to continue seeing Christina at a lower cost to me.
YAY!! I got my referral!
Hugs,
Laurie
Quote from: Laurie on October 18, 2018, 11:24:28 PM
I will be a win win win for Kaiser in getting a provider in my area, for Christina because she will be a provider and getting more clients, and for me because I won't have to go into Portland for electrolysis and will be able to continue seeing Christina at a lower cost to me.
There she goes again, making life better for everyone around her, everyone she encounters. That's my sweet & thoughtful Laurie!
Quote from: Michelle_P on October 19, 2018, 01:11:53 AM
There she goes again, making life better for everyone around her, everyone she encounters. That's my sweet & thoughtful Laurie!
But I am Meanrotten
You forgot your own trademark. Meanrotten™
Quote from: Kendra on October 19, 2018, 08:05:25 AM
You forgot your own trademark. Meanrotten™
Used without permission.
*Sigh*
*sigh*tm thought that was mine
Quote from: Laurie on October 18, 2018, 11:24:28 PM
I have been talking with my electrologist about my possibly getting some of my electrolysis covered through Kaiser. Christina is wanting to become a provider for Kaiser and I have been trying to help her with contacts. She finally connected with the person she needed to talk to about 2 weeks ago. but had not heard back from her again.
That was the status when I saw Christina for my facial torture session yesterday. Today I got a message from Christina saying she talked to the lady at Kaiser and now she needed to talk to me. I called her today and she needed to verify I was a Kaiser member and told me that I needed to get my Gender clinic doc to submit my referral to her so she could move forward in getting my electrologist set up and authorized to be my Kaiser provider.
So now I had stuff to do to keep the ball rolling. Specifically I needed to provide my gender doc with 6 months to a year of testosterone results showing my T below 100. I took screenshots of my last 3 T labs from the VA covering about a year and a half all below 100 and manipulated them into the acceptable format needed to send them into my Kaiser Doc. (I was going to deliver everything to her in 1 envelope on Monday or Tuesday after I get my 2 letters) Anyway the Kaiser doc got then and submitted a referral for electrolysis. This will go to the woman I talked to earlier and she will then set up my electrologist as an authorized provider so I can still go the her with Kaiser covering most of the cost.
It will be a win win win for Kaiser in getting a provider in my area, for Christina because she will be a provider and getting more clients, and for me because I won't have to go into Portland for electrolysis and will be able to continue seeing Christina at a lower cost to me.
YAY!! I got my referral!
Hugs,
Laurie
Slowly but relentlessly you move forward. I step forward, maybe a 1/2 back always forward, you are still going in the right direction...Just remember my dear...You
are worth it.
Thinking of you
Liz
Quote from: davina61 on October 19, 2018, 02:32:55 PM
*sigh*tm thought that was mine
Could be but I don't mind borrowing it
Quote from: LizK on October 19, 2018, 05:10:16 PM
Slowly but relentlessly you move forward. I step forward, maybe a 1/2 back always forward, you are still going in the right direction...Just remember my dear...You are worth it.
Thinking of you
Liz
Now you sound like Michelle. And I love ya anyway.
Hugs,
Laurie
I was sitting at home minding my own business today when there came a knock on my bedroom door. I opened it to a very nice surprise.
See what I found..
(https://i.imgur.com/CWRQXdT.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/Vp8rMGw.jpg)
Hugs, ( and kisses )
Laurie
aaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! what a wonderful surprise...Pssssst I think she likes you!!
Quote from: LizK on October 23, 2018, 10:45:02 PM
aaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! what a wonderful surprise...Pssssst I think she likes you!!
Me Too!
Awww, look at you two love birds!
Awww... you two are sooooo cute!!!!
Swooooon!
(Nice necklace, Michelle!)
Quote from: Steph2.0 on October 24, 2018, 09:11:53 AM
(Nice necklace, Michelle!)
Yes, it is! I wear it frequently!
Michelle "Merope" P.
@Laurie:
cc: Michelle_PDear Laurie:
2½ weeks and no new update?
No new pictures?
No witty wording or comments ???
Please relieve my anxiety and post something.
Hugs,
Danielle
Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on November 09, 2018, 10:46:49 PM
@Laurie: cc: Michelle_P
Dear Laurie:
2½ weeks and no new update?
No new pictures?
No witty wording or comments ???
Please relieve my anxiety and post something.
Hugs,
Danielle
I'm starting to think that she is holding out for another visit or something...
I'll have to see what can be done.
Hi folks,
For anyone who gives a damn. I'm sorry. Sorry that you do care and sorry for being meanrotten. Caring about me is likely to just get you hurt. I have already managed to hurt two people that I care about. One of them twice and I fear pretty hard. I am sorry about it but not ready to be "in a better place" because of that I'll honor their wishes and so it continues. I'm not safe for your emotional health to be around. Push it and you'll probably be hurt. Yes, that is a warning.
I have been trying to keep an extremely low profile here. I read a few threads. I try not to post. A few times I gave in to respond to something I thought I had to. There have been a few post most here have not seen and will not. They were not my best work. You don't need to see them. Those that saw them didn't need to see then either. In short for several weeks I have not been in a good place. I hate the holiday season. I get moody, hateful and angry. I earn my nickname of MeanRotten. I have done this for many many years. I can ruin the holidays for anyone. For me there is no holiday cheer. Only sadness, sullenness and anger. Knowing I am being a jackass and ruining the holidays does nothing except make myself angrier at myself and I take it out upon those I care for.
For several years, I spent christmas with my daughter's family which did help somewhat. But this will be the second year that I will not be with them. I haven't even seen my grandchildren for a year and a half. I miss her and them. This adds to my bad mood.
If all this is not enough crap we have these political times that I am very emotionally vested in. I am thoroughly angry and hateful towards our government. I am hateful with certain religious groups. I am hateful of those that threaten our very existence. I hate that hateful religious fanatics have infiltrated my government and are forwarding their agenda to eliminate us. I am even hateful at my antidepressant because it limits my angry and hate yet I fear where I would be without it.
I feel I am being consumed with anger and hate. I do not like how I feel. I don't like my thoughts. I don't like how I treat others. And I don't like what I wish I could do to those I hate. I hate how I treat those who care about me. I'm sorry. There is a light in my darkness though. I don't like myself for being the way I am but I don't hate myself. I have not yet gotten to a point where I want to wander off into the woods with my shotgun like I did last year at this time. Besides it's winter and ugly, wet, and cold in the woods. Haha. I guess that's a good thing sometimes I'm not so sure.
Not even Michelle has been spared. I have hurt her feelings and made her cry with my words. I never wanted to do so but I did. We are okay if think but I cannot take back those words and telling her I was sorry felt so inadequate. It didn't do a lot of good for me either. I have to be on guard now when we talk. I have to watch my words lest I hurt her again.
Well, that's where my head is at. That is what is going on. Yes, I am isolating from almost everyone and I think that is best for them. To care about me and get close to me, is to be hurt. At them moment I'm at a high point, relatively okay. Will I be tomorrow or even in an hour I don't know. Probably not because I want to explode. Rant, rave and rail at those that upset me. I want to unleash my hatred on churches and religion and the people in them. And I want to just wander off and hide from the world. Away from everyone. I want to be alone, invisible, gone. For now I'm okay.
No hugs to give,
Laurie
Laurie, I intended to reach out but something stayed my hand. There are times when a helping hand is appreciated and times when it is not. I had a feeling this was a 'not' time so I kept to myself.
If I care I might get hurt? comes with the territory. If you don't care you can't get hurt.
You care, that's why you're hurting.
I'll leave it at that.
Your friend, whether you like it or not,
Faith
Laurie I give a damn for you, and for everyone here at Susan's. I think you already know this, but if you need someone to talk to or just vent at there I am. Same goes for anyone else here, PM is a click away.
We all experience rough times more or less, yours are really bad and some things are just not fair. You made it through last year's holidays and then look at what an amazing year you followed that with. Every year really does get better for you.
Well sis, you may not have any hugs to give, but mine are endless for you. You know where I am when you are ready.
I'm sorry you if you take this as a push, I look at it as a gentle reminder.
@Laurie Dear Laurie:Please... no worries. We ALL go through rough times and in those moments we may not respond well to others and perhaps not treat those very nicely that truly care for our well being. Forgiveness is a virtue that I cherish in all of us that care to evoke that virtue in ourselves.
Hugs and hugs from me to you... [emoji173]
Danielle
Hugs Laurie
I have stepped in it pretty bad a few times, and can relate to how you feel.
This is not the end of the world, even though it may feel that way. There is a growth opportunity in your pain, and we all love you anyway!
Laurie, we love you.
Ready or not.
Love, Randy
Sent from my Victor 9000 using Tapatalk
Please excuse me from the tradition of wishing you a happy thanksgiving, merry christmas, or a happy new year. And please do not send me yours. I feel None of these thing about the holiday season. In fact these holidays are some of my worst days to have to endure each year. I hate the holiday season. If I could I would disappear from the world during this time. Since I cannot I will just ask everyone keep their holidays to themselves.
Laurie,
This is just a HUG! Not a peep about anything at all! Just a warm hug.
Chrissy
Well its a BIG HUG from me and I don't expect one back (or need one) . Take care and hope you are back soonXXXXXX
Quote from: Laurie on November 22, 2018, 02:09:46 PM
Please excuse me from the tradition of wishing you a happy thanksgiving, merry christmas, or a happy new year. And please do not send me yours. I feel None of these thing about the holiday season. In fact these holidays are some of my worst days to have to endure each year. I hate the holiday season. If I could I would disappear from the world during this time. Since I cannot I will just ask everyone keep their holidays to themselves.
Here's a hug for Laurie. **HUG**
I have another one waiting when she comes back after the new year starts
Never one to take no for the final answer, I propose we celebrate the Solstice dear friend! It is entirely natural and even celestial in celebrating our place in the cosmos and the turn of the world as we hurtle through time and space.
The Solstice is also sugar, fat, peanut, soy, gluten, rodent and religion free! Perfect for those wishing to avoid reactions or regrets due to intolerances of the most common sort.
The Solstice is a celebration of people with knowledge and understanding of ourselves as part of something cosmically greater than a single being or outdated ideology. Everyone is invited and all are welcome to acknowledge another spin around our favorite star. So whether it is your shortest or longest day of the year there is good reason to raise a glass of cheer!
Now everyone please hold hands, as it seems the spinning is getting a little faster and bumpier on this ride around.....
Alert! Alert! Attention please! Important message coming!
Laurie, have a wonderful day today! :) Tomorrow too! And more days after that! :)
Chrissy
@Tessa James Quote from: Tessa James on November 25, 2018, 01:54:41 PM
Never one to take no for the final answer, I propose we celebrate the Solstice dear friend! It is entirely natural and even celestial in celebrating our place in the cosmos and the turn of the world as we hurtle through time and space.
The Solstice is also sugar, fat, peanut, soy, gluten, rodent and religion free! Perfect for those wishing to avoid reactions or regrets due to intolerances of the most common sort.
The Solstice is a celebration of people with knowledge and understanding of ourselves as part of something cosmically greater than a single being or outdated ideology. Everyone is invited and all are welcome to acknowledge another spin around our favorite star. So whether it is your shortest or longest day of the year there is good reason to raise a glass of cheer!
Now everyone please hold hands, as it seems the spinning is getting a little faster and bumpier on this ride around.....
This is a great idea Tessa! On the Winter Solstice we have friends over and have a potluck supper to celebrate the change of the solar year. As we join together for the meal, we each tell of what we are thankful for. Hmmmm....... Thanksgiving much?
Our home is unsurprisingly decked out in a similar fashion to the roots of Christmas as much of the traditions were adopted by the Christian faith to bring the 'barbarians' to the fold. The traditions live on in my home because we embrace the spirit of our collective energy.
Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Quote from: Tessa James on November 25, 2018, 01:54:41 PM
Never one to take no for the final answer, I propose we celebrate the Solstice dear friend! It is entirely natural and even celestial in celebrating our place in the cosmos and the turn of the world as we hurtle through time and space.
The Solstice is also sugar, fat, peanut, soy, gluten, rodent and religion free! Perfect for those wishing to avoid reactions or regrets due to intolerances of the most common sort.
The Solstice is a celebration of people with knowledge and understanding of ourselves as part of something cosmically greater than a single being or outdated ideology. Everyone is invited and all are welcome to acknowledge another spin around our favorite star. So whether it is your shortest or longest day of the year there is good reason to raise a glass of cheer!
Now everyone please hold hands, as it seems the spinning is getting a little faster and bumpier on this ride around.....
Quote from: Jessica on November 25, 2018, 03:33:43 PM
@Tessa James
This is a great idea Tessa! On the Winter Solstice we have friends over and have a potluck supper to celebrate the change of the solar year. As we join together for the meal, we each tell of what we are thankful for. Hmmmm....... Thanksgiving much?
Our home is unsurprisingly decked out in a similar fashion to the roots of Christmas as much of the traditions were adopted by the Christian faith to bring the 'barbarians' to the fold. The traditions live on in my home because we embrace the spirit of our collective energy.
Hugs and smiles from a California girl
@Tessa James @JessicaDear Tessa and Jess:Here in the far North we celebrate both WINTER Solstist and also the SUMMER Solstist ...
...either Solstist is quite an event.
At those two special times of the year, during the Winter we have indoor parties and gatherings all "night" long...
....and in the Summer we have outdoor parties and gatherings all "day" long.
On
December 21, SUNRISE will be approximately 11:30 AM and SUNSET at about 2:00 PM... long winter darkness and nights. When the sun comes up over the horizon it really never gets bright daylight, mostly twighlight until sundown.
On
June 21, the opposite happens. SUNRISE at approximately 3:00AM and SUNSET around 12:30AM
(just after midnight) When the SUN does go down, it never really gets dark, just twilight until sunrise.
Lots of fun and sure different for most areas in the world.
Hugs,
Danielle
@ Laurie
I was like you, I hated everything and everybody. I was searching for reasons to yell at others and hurt others! And with that hate an anger I destroyed my family. My wife left me, my son moved out and there I was, full of hate and anger.
Nobody wanted to be around me anymore! I was all alone, because I had driven everybody away. I finally looked for professional help, and over the time of two years, my therapist was able to get me out of this hatred being, and helped me t become a normal person again.
Today I m at a position that hate and anger is part of my past. my son and I have a very good relation again, and my ex and I are becoming good friends now.
Anger and hate are very destructive, and the real bad thing is that they destruct the hater!
Please try to get help, and make you life worth living again! I feel deeply with you, been there, done that! I can feel the hurt!
We all here love you and are your friends!
Hi Folks,
I believe I owe you all a short update. One ordeal over with turkey day is over. Our turkey came out nice and mist this year and the rest of the good was okay too. We had a good pumpkin pie that was made by my sister Karen along with the rest of the dinner. We also had an eh okay chocolate pudding pie and a complete disaster lemon meringue pie that were made by my nephew's wife. Anyway I survived.
Things got a whole lot better really quick when I saw Michelle pull into my parking spot. I think MeanRotten as ornery as he is, is a coward. It's either that or my girlfriend is meaner than he is. I'm not sure which but I know since she arrived I cannot find hide nor hair of him. What I am saying folks is that I am feeling pretty darned good at the moment. I suspect things will be good for the time she is here. Then all bets are off as we head into that other horrible holiday. Stores packs with people, too many people frustrated for a slew or reasons and taking it out on everyone else. They are not a safe place for man nor beast. I will not be in them. I will be alone once again in my dim bedroom, probably angry with myself and the world again. Gosh, I hate this time of year.
But for now I am okay, better than okay. How can I not be with My love here with me?
Another bit of an annoyance is it has been about 2 1/2 months since my last cancer screening. On Dec 10th my day will start out with blood draw for several tests again in I don't go do them earlier. Which I just might because I am supposed to have a couple back x-rays done on my back sometime. Back to the 10th I will then get my IV put in for the CT scan with contrast. Oh joy glow in the dark time again. sometime after that in no particular od will be getting the results from my oncologist, A chat with my pill pusher about how my antidepressant is working for my, and ending with a therapy session. Michelle tells me she will spend the day with me that day. That evening or next day she will be on her way home. So I should be okay up until she leaves then I can see a sinking back down into the "holiday cheer" Un-huh yeah right. Oh well we will have to see how it goes.
Well Tha tha that's all folks!
Hugs to all,
Laurie
It seems a shame to me mean/rotten cant stay behind and Laurie could move in with her love ( just a random thought) well here's a early holiday prezzy keep it till the day ((( hug ))) sorry for the amount of sticky tape but don't want it to burst open. XXXXXX
I'm so glad Laurie's back! She's such a joy to have around. Does meanrotten need their own thread? Then we can all unsubscribe from it and talk to Laurie instead! No, both sides need their time to discuss, rant, get help...
I like the winter solstice because from there on the days get longer and the sun gets brighter. We can live virtually in @LizK's side of the globe and enjoy the simultaneous spectacle of the days getting longer and shorter all at the same time. Talk about binary!
Love, Randy
Sent from my Victor 9000 using Tapatalk
Quote from: davina61 on November 27, 2018, 03:28:02 AM
It seems a shame to me mean/rotten cant stay behind and Laurie could move in with her love ( just a random thought) well here's a early holiday prezzy keep it till the day ((( hug ))) sorry for the amount of sticky tape but don't want it to burst open. XXXXXX
You aren't the only one who has had that thought!
Still, we do what we can. The holidays are sort of a rough period for us single folks, with estranged biological families, to get through. There are old memories that resurface at the worst times to taunt us, and it can be a challenge to find our way past these to present happiness.
I'm a big fan of building new memories in our new positions in life as one tool to get through these times.
Quote from: Michelle_P on November 27, 2018, 12:07:59 PM
I'm a big fan of building new memories in our new positions in life as one tool to get through these times.
Couldn't agree more...I think building new memories is by far a better way to "fix" the older awful one. I have that in mind this Xmass as the last 2 have not been great. This year I hope to have an Xmass that we all as a family remeber this as one of the best times of our lives...at least that is what I am aiming for and I intedn to have a great time with them...I also think this can be appied throughout the year as long as we are aware of when these awful occasions are likly to come along.
Laurie I hope you are finally beginning to feel a bit better. I have a good idea how you feel having "misplaced" my brother and my parents. hope you are feeling better
Liz
We'll just pop a quick (hug) here, so that you know that we understand.
Rowan