Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Non-binary talk => Topic started by: ativan on October 20, 2011, 04:08:48 pm

Title: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: ativan on October 20, 2011, 04:08:48 pm
Tell everyone some of why you are here (or not)
Simple introduction if you care to...

*Edited title 6/3/14 from Androgyne to Non-Binary
Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ZaidaZadkiel on October 20, 2011, 08:59:37 pm
I was lost and a witch made me come here, i'm trapped here.
please help me.

Ahem.

Hello, I am ZaidaZadkiel although lately I'm considering changing the name to a more natural sounding female name, for legal purposes.
I am currently 27 years old, and live somewhere in hell, Mexico.

I like doing watercolors and carvings in avocado seed and doing macrame bracelets and necklaces, for fun and profit.

As far as interesting things goes, that would be the most of it. Other than that, some of my beliefs are that i dont like god, there is no such thing as truth, I can figure everything on my own, asking for help is asking for troube and dogs are very good pets.

I used to like dinosaurs but not anymore since I found they were naked all the time. Not very refined. And they didn't wear top hats either, so I can't like dinosaurs anymore.

I am not random so much as try to spark an interesting reaction from people. I'm like that IRL too, and so far I haven't been punched in the face. Well I Have but that was not for trolling, but we were kinda drunk.

I am a little bundle of issues of which nobody could ever care or bother to help with, and even if somebody did, I fear I would suck this person into a little black hole of despair and mysery. I have learned things about life that I would rather not have learned. But hey, you've gotta make do with what you have, rite ?

I loooove complaining.
Specially I love complaining about the things I am doing.
What I don't like complaining about, is about things that can't be done anything. Because then it's just sad and frustrating.
But the things I can and am doing stuff about, it's fun and I feel that by complaining somebody could learn what I'm doing.
Though, still, theres not many people who would actually care.
And those who do, at least the ones I know they care, are more interested in seeing me naked than in having me do business and take over the world...

I sometimes think I'm not taken seriously online, but IRL im actually a very serious person.
I have a very stern face, like, I could tell you that the sky is red and many people would believe just because i look so sure of it.

...

And I love talking about myself, I could do it days in and days out!
Too bad most of what I say is just pure fabricated lies.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on October 20, 2011, 09:13:26 pm
You know I'll do the best I can, whatever that may be...

Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Metroland on October 21, 2011, 08:15:10 am
I am biological male who would like to have a srs. I identify as non-binary with more inclination to female expression. I love design and having tea parties (not the political ones, the Victorian cup of tea, biscuit and conversation).
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Sevan on October 21, 2011, 08:29:18 am
Well put and well met Metroland :) Let's see what I can come up with...

I'm Sevan, I've got a strong female side and a strong male side and identify as bi-gender most days. I simplify it as much as I can and normally tell people I'm androgyn or two spirit. These words seem to make more sense to people and that's fine.
I was born female, am on testosterone and have just had a breast reduction which was gender based for me. I'm going to legally change my name but haven't gotten to it yet due to some family issues.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: cynthialee on October 21, 2011, 08:56:18 am
I am not an Androgyn. I am female.
I am married to Sevan so I come here and lurk these androgyn boards allot.

:)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: runalan on October 21, 2011, 11:48:29 am
It's only in the last couple of years or so that I've started wondering about my gender, and  I'm just beginning to realise that as I was growing up, there were other people who did  the   thinking for me, and did it wisely, and I'm the last one to start thinking - after all, I must be, otherwise I wouldn't have joined this site. I wrote an  intro on the general site a couple of days ago, saying how I thought I should  class myself as androgyne. So here I am introducing myself on the androgyne site. I hope I can contribute.

 In my early childhood I was a sissy sort of boy, not liking rough games or suchlike, and  I was born with a buried penis, and one of the bits of wisdom done over me was to prevent me being reassessed as a girl by interfering doctors.   Later on, my puberty didnt click in till I was 17, and was incomplete - my voice deepened, but I never grew much hair, and I still only have to shave once a week and didnt really grow at all down below. Also as I have only recently realised, I've got a girl-shaped frame, with wide hips and narrow shoulders. I've done the cogiati test and come out at 295, which is androgyne.
 
My wise relatives realised that physically I wasn't really sissy and got me to take up athletics, which I did, and I enjoyed, and gave me confidence, and I still do, and I've always had jobs where I fitted in, as an organic farmer and in pubs.  Since my teens I have been in families and communities who believe in natural living and it means that I'm accepted as I am and I have never had any of the sort of social disapproval which figures in the lives of so many other member of this site.  Of course, it's made easier by living in the country, and It's a pity, but in a country like the UK only a small proportion of us can do that.
 
So I'm half-way to being a girl, and  I think that's OK and I'm happy to just stay as I am, but it raises all sorts of questions  which lots of people post about here.


Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Julian on October 21, 2011, 12:55:48 pm
I'm Julian. I'm 20. I don't know who I am. I don't have any of these strong gendered "sides" I hear so much about. I'm planning on top surgery and maybe HRT. I study psychology and crochet things a lot.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Sevan on October 21, 2011, 06:10:50 pm
Welcome Runalan! I don't get out of the Unicorn forest to any other parts of this site...so forgive me, I didn't see your intro until you posted here. I hope you settle in and find what you need here. :) That's really wonderful that you've found acceptance for who you are.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Erik on November 03, 2011, 01:27:16 am
Hmm
Though physically I cannot claim androgeny because my top is far too large to claim manliness ;)
I like to settle as 'ambigendered'. Like ambidextrous but with my gender. I swing often between being "manly" and being "lady-like".
I like computers, art, classical and rock, learning foreign languages and a good fight now and then. :)
It's taken a few years and multiple labels and experiments to find what I am, and I'm quite happy to be able to say "screw it, I don't want to fit nicely in a box. I'm both" and watch as my listeners' faces fall into splendid confusion :D

But I do wonder. Gender-wise I'm settled in ambigender. Still working my S.O. kinks out. I'm quite happy with my body, I'm just not sure what I want in/of a partner. :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: skm4441 on November 07, 2011, 09:43:57 pm
Hello folks! 

Ummmm, where do I start?  On this forum, I go as James Steven or JS.  My birth name is Sarah.  I have always known that I possess both stereotypical characteristics of both genders, however, I feel that I am very androygonus, more geared towards the masculine characteristics that I feel really define who I am. 

I flip-flop back and forward between androygous and wanting to be a man, which I only came out to myself and a couple of friends last week... As of right now, I identify as androygous and continue my journey in gender identity. 
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Sevan on November 07, 2011, 10:32:54 pm
Welcome JS! :)

All i can say is keep doing what you're doing. Exploring, thinking, processing and moving forward. :) as you move more into the male zone you'll find that sweet spot that's just right for you. It may reside within "the androgyn forest" or it may reside soundly within the "male zone". No tellin' and no real reason to be rigid with labels. They can be flexible. Glad you came over and introduced yourself!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: skm4441 on November 08, 2011, 09:15:39 pm
Thanks for the welcome and your supportive message! :)  Looking forward to see you around on the forum! 
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Taka on November 19, 2011, 03:04:41 pm
hi!

i've been here for a while, and then nearly forgot about the place after suddenly starting to work. getting a job really helps lessen depression, but eventually being called things that i don't really identify with (like "girl") starts getting to me again...

about who i am: i am me, simple as that. not girl or guy or whatever, just me. but for some reason i don't mind being treated as a guy as much as being treated as a girl, so i can't be sure whether i belong here or... no, not in a binary, i refuse

currently not making any sense, but then i never made too much sense anyway, so it shouldn't matter too much (i hope)

nice to meet you all! i hope to get along those times when i remember to come by
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Kinkly on November 20, 2011, 06:23:07 pm
I am me, too much of a girl to live as just male and too much of a boy to live as a girl so I live as both full time with a full beard and very fem clothes I'm also on transition level hormones (M2F) although I'm more M2WtF  (Male to What the F***) I've been told by other gender diverse people that I am the poster child for gender-queer as I am the only visibly non conforming gender diverse person in the area of Brisbane. (one of the larger cities in Australia)
I've been part of this forum for a fair while (feels strange giving an intro when I've been here for close to 4 years)
 
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: MichelleHart on November 25, 2011, 09:20:15 am
WOW! ??? That age old question asking who am I.  In a way, it has only taken me almost 60 years to answer that question and even then I am not exactly sure of the answer.  In the last several years, I have finally started to accept and express myself as being on both sides of the gender equation.  For a while I used the term two-spirited to express who I was.

Briefly, I spent almost 25 years fighting myself and others, to see the woman within while presenting as a feminine male.  The next 15 years were a major conflict withing myself, trying to be the male that society, as well as family/friends, needed to see.  It was pure HELL trying to fight myself to eliminate all that I had learned and experienced growing up in a more feminine atmosphere.

At 40 is when I started to explore my battle (AH the internet and all it's information), I started to see a pattern that I didn't fit into trans, cis or any other description.  I attempted to go on HRT (without a doctor's help) and found out first hand why that isn't such a good idea.  It brought my quest to a screeching halt.  I was lost.

Around 2 years ago, my male body started into that phase of what I refer to as just after the warranty ran out.  The visits to doctors became more frequent and their findings were more than just normal ageing.  The aches and pains were actually my body breaking down from overuse.  My female mind screamed out that a woman's body isn't allowed to wear out because she still needed to take care of family.  My male body said, "You can only think that."  To make a long story short, I am presently on Finasteride to shrink to nothing a prostrate that can't seem to stay normal.  The side effects of this medication are that my body isn't getting all the overabundance of testosterone it was living with.  I also started taking the recommended allotment of photo-estrogen to ease the hot flashes, slight depression and low libido to name a few.  It was this combination that allowed me to finally see that I truly was a combination of both.  It was this site, and one simple explanation that I read here describing Androgynous that finally gave a name to who I am.   
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Silent on December 03, 2011, 10:11:27 pm
Hi. Im Silent. Im 18, biologically male and im from Scotland. I discovered i was androgyne only a few weeks ago. For years i thought i was female but was never 100% sure, i always thought i was somewhere in the middle. It was only recently that i was exploring my identity and took a cogniati test. I got a score of 90 which put me as androgyne but i was surprised how close it was to saying i was possibly transsexual. I dont look or dress androgynously yet partly due to my size, although im trying to lose weight, and also because ive been too shy and self concious to go and buy what i wanted to wear. I havent came out yet to anyone. I think my parents will be ok with it. My dad works in mental health and has dealt with trans people before and my mum is pretty open minded so they should be ok with it. I think most of my friends will be ok or be kinda 'we knew there was something different about you' but in a good way. There are a few who im not sure what their reaction will be but to be honest, if theyre not going to like me then, why do they like me now? Anyway i dont plan on coming out until after new year so i have time to prepare. Bye for now :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Padma on December 04, 2011, 03:09:12 am
Hello there - I've just come up with a daft word for myself: womandrogyne :).

Born physically male, I'm going through a gender transition specifically because I should have a woman's body - because I've always been a woman (though that knowledge needed repressing until it became safe to wake up into myself last year). But I'm attracted neither towards femininity nor masculinity, just wanting to be myself, but myself as a woman physically. And myself is, if anything, a woman who wants to be androgynous, Amazonian (in a non-violent way - kind of like Xena if she was a Buddhist :)).

I'm realising I could definitely use more contact with similar people, as I feel quite out of place in trans women's groups. I fit in more comfortably in lesbian/bi women's groups, and get on well with trans men, but feel a lack of people like me, who get what's going on for me, and don't have an agenda that assumes I'm going to want to femme up any day now. It's tough constantly having to explain that yes, I'm going through a gender transition, but yes, the way I'm dressed right now is how I like to present myself, and no, there isn't another version of me that wears dresses and makeup and so on, this is it, right now.

I worry that I'm in danger of becoming quite judgemental towards femme trans women, in self-defence. I do my best not to go there, but I feel under a constant pressure to conform, and it's not going to happen. I'm done with passing as a man, and I have no intention of passing as anything now - I'm just going to be the kind of woman I am, there are billions of possibilities there.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: tuttle on December 10, 2011, 06:59:04 pm
Wow. I'm pretty surprised by this. I actually signed up for this forum for a completely different reason (more to follow). Then I logged in for the first time and saw this Androgyn section. I had actually never heard of it before, but from what I see here, it appears to fit me rather well.

I am a biological male and have no interest in changing that. That being said, a lot of quintessentially masculine characteristics bother me. I only have female friends. I find males to be a bit bothersome. This has been the case as long as I can remember. I was looked upon as somewhat of an oddity in my neighbourhood as the boys were out playing football and other boy games, and I was playing with dolls with the girls. At school, I could usually be found playing jacks or jumping rope or playing hand clapping games with the girls. By the fifth grade, I was officially labelled gay and that stuck through university. I certainly did not help things at all when, as a young adult, I changed my name to a female name. One could argue that it was a male name a long time ago, but these days, it is pretty unambiguously female. Enough to the point that I regularly get things addressed to Miss or Mrs. More than one interviewer has gotten a real shock when I have showed up for an interview and I regularly get asked for ID when I try to use my own plastic because they don't believe that the person whose name is on the card is actually me.

And my favourite colour is pink. Or lavender or mulberry. That is the reason I came here in the first place. It is almost impossible to find clothing in colours that I like in the men's section. Perhaps you may have noticed... Anyhow one of my friends suggested that I might find what I want in the women's section. But I am far too shy to go into the women's section at the local department store and ask to try on women's clothing. So I am going to have to do it by catalogue. But I really am not getting too much guidance from the catalogues so I thought somebody here might be able to help...
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Pica Pica on December 11, 2011, 02:10:06 am
Welcome Buttle, I don't know about help, but we can natter along with you.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: tuttle on December 11, 2011, 01:08:45 pm
Welcome Buttle, I don't know about help, but we can natter along with you.

Another Brazil fan!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Pica Pica on December 11, 2011, 01:22:02 pm
Another Brazil fan!

Huge.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ril on December 13, 2011, 04:53:22 pm
I'm MTF (hormones, surgeries, everything) but my presentation tends to lean on the butch side. I tend not to get too worked up about pronouns and whatnot, nor am I very interested in gender theory or politics - I mostly just wish the whole concept of gender would leave me alone. And mostly it does.

Nice to meet y'all :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: espo on December 14, 2011, 06:22:18 pm
Hi ril, welcome. You sound like someone who will fit in here nicely. I like your outlook on the gender thing, very cool if we could live outside it and no one would think thats odd. Although I would love to be one or the other, wholly, completely, inside and out (so to speak) but meh ... maybe in my next life.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Nemo on December 21, 2011, 01:57:05 pm
Yet again I'm late to the party, but oh well - like some others, I've been around this forum before, but given the way I've been feeling sometimes, I don't spend nearly enough time in these parts.

I'm the male version of Padma, really - born female, know my body needs to be male, but inside I don't really feel particularly male or female. I'm a good mix of both - I have manly days, I have girly days, but life's working much better as a girly man than as a manly girl :P Best label to use (since society insists on the damn things) is gender-fluid. GQ works too. In fact that's what took me so long to realise I needed to transition in the first place; my gender boundaries are non-existent, how do you know you're not really a girl if you don't know what being a boy or girl really is?
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Sevan on December 27, 2011, 10:48:30 pm
Welcome Nemo! Pull up a mossy rock or perhaps a nice log. Maybe some warm soft grass suits you? (We're in the Unicorn forest...hence my suggestions for seating...lol)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: caseyyy on December 27, 2011, 11:33:55 pm
Hi Nemo! :) I'd say we're pretty similar...I do think my body should be male, though my gender identity is kind of null. I'm not necessarily a 'girly man', I just don't see myself as a genderable person. Just a sexed one.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: BlueSloth on January 08, 2012, 08:59:13 pm
Hi

I like this unicorn forest thing.  I think I'll find a nice tree and live in it :)

I just spent 30 years thinking I had to pretend to conform to a binary gender.  I feel free now, and I love it!  I'm not sure where exactly I am on the gender spectrum, but the important thing is I want to be myself, whatever I am.

The gender specific pronouns people use on me never really felt right.  When I go to some formal thing like a wedding and have to dress up, the highly gendered clothes I end up wearing always make me feel like I'm cosplaying or something.  LOL.  I don't particularly like the secondary sex characteristics on my body (although I don't think I'd be willing to have anything done surgically).

I still haven't put much thought into pronouns.  I think anything gender neutral will make me happy (with the possible exception of "it").

Like I said in my post in the main Introductions section, I'll figure my physical sex will eventually become relevant in a conversation and I'll reveal it, but for now I won't.  I know you won't identify me by it, but still...  it's a refreshing change being known only my my mind, and I'm liking it :)

EDIT:  Never mind... I'm physically male.  It's not worth hiding that here :)

Hmm..  from what I've said so far I seem like a pretty generic androygyne.. so...  I just got a degree in physics, I play piano and bass, and I'm what's known as "ginger".. although I didn't know that until recently because where I live that terminology isn't used much.  So..  you still don't know me well, but it's a start :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: espo on January 09, 2012, 09:17:50 pm
Welcome, I hope you have fun while you're here. We don't take ourselves to serious although we can be serious and feel free to derail threads aa needed  lol
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on January 21, 2012, 08:30:29 pm
I am genetic male and present that way for the most part. My name here is my preferred nom de plume. There was a time several years ago that I was transitioning M2F, had orchiectomy, spent years on female HRT. Suddenly one day after i was called ma'am one time too many, I went home and threw my diamond ear piercings in the jewelry box and had my spouse give me a buzz cut. I quit HRT for two years and got sick. A human being needs a hormonal base and with that gone it became evident that my thyroid had almost flatlined. I found help from a smart naturopathic doctor who put me on a thyroid booster and back on female HRT. I do a couple of hours at the fitness center five days a week, 40 minutes cardio and the rest doing lots or reps with light weight for toning. I am six-pac fit and 5' 7" and keep the C sized boobs anchored down with light compression bras so I don't make such a big statement in male mode. Yes, I know some would say I must be a nut case but I'm happy and take responsibility for my own decisions and don't have any regrets. Have a nice relationship in progress, love my woman!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: eli77 on January 21, 2012, 09:09:19 pm
I've been on this forum for a while, but I've never trespassed into your forest very often. I have a couple of times recently though, so I thought I'd say "hi."

So, hi! :)

I suppose I'm non-binary in a sense, but well... I'm basically the mirror of this:

I do think my body should be male, though my gender identity is kind of null. I'm not necessarily a 'girly man', I just don't see myself as a genderable person. Just a sexed one.

I was assigned male at birth, but my sex is female and I'm transitioning to fix my body. I go with she/her/girl/woman/whatever 'cause it's simpler, and that's how society explains people who have the kind of body I have. But truthfully, I don't really do gender. I can see and understand the social and cultural norms, the biological differences... but when people start talking about how they feel as a man or a woman or an androgyne or whatever, I'm lost. That thing inside your head that is supposed to tell you what gender you are, I don't think I have it.

Drives me a little nuts sometimes how gender-obsessed my world is. I don't particularly enjoy having every little thing I do or say or think or wear being classified by a system that I don't even really respect. But mostly I can ignore it like so much white noise.

I tend to describe myself as a tomboy. Kind of simplifies how I see things. Female, but not really obedient to gender of any kind.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Z7Z on January 23, 2012, 06:34:37 pm
Hey, I'm Z7Z. I used to identify as FtM, mostly because it's easier to explain to people that I'm a guy who happened to be born with a physically female body, than to explain that I'm not really one gender or the other but that I feel much more comfortable with a more masculine body. Most of the time I feel like I'm on the masculine side of things, sometimes I feel a bit feminine, and sometimes I feel both feminine and masculine, other times neither. I wouldn't consider myself to be "two-spirit", simply because the masculine side of me (if you can call it a "side") is much stronger than the feminine side.

As for pronouns, "he" is ok, doesn't bother me, but I prefer "zie". I haven't gotten my name legally changed yet, but that's actually a good thing since I'm thinking a more gender-neutral name would suit me better than being Shane. Any suggestions on what my name should be are welcome :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: v on January 24, 2012, 12:27:01 am
I seem to be lost for no apparent reason. The last time I was here, I thought I was Ativan. I must have been mistaken.
Does any of this sound familiar to anyone who could be famous in their own rights?
I know that this Ativan person exists, because I am Ativan in other places, I just don't seem to be here.
Another rabbit hole, I suppose.
Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on January 24, 2012, 01:01:39 pm
Haha, The staff found me! I have my account back, but there seems to be restrictions on it still.  :police:

Anyways, Hi everyone! Things have changed over the recent months, so I feel like a new person here, again.  :)

Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Julian on January 24, 2012, 01:03:47 pm
Ativan's back!!!

Good to see ya. :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on January 24, 2012, 01:16:37 pm
Thank You! I lost you out there at another place. So Happy to Hear from you!  :)

Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: caseyyy on January 24, 2012, 01:55:24 pm
Hi Ativan. ;D Welcome back.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on January 24, 2012, 08:50:10 pm
Thanks! Nice to here from people and to see some familiar people.
Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Constance on January 24, 2012, 09:04:02 pm
Welcome back, Ativan.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on January 24, 2012, 09:07:50 pm
Thanks! What a change from where I have been! Hard to get used to it.
Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Eva Marie on January 24, 2012, 11:19:28 pm
Good to see you around again Ativan  :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on January 25, 2012, 07:44:24 am
Thank You!  Nice to see you're still here.  :)

Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Bridal Wish on January 25, 2012, 06:57:29 pm
I am Andrew! I am a assigned male, but am looking into MTF or Androgyn... becoming or whatever the term should be <<...
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Fitz on February 01, 2012, 05:17:16 pm
Hello, everyone. I think I'll probably be hanging out here a bit so I figured I should introduce myself.

I am Fitz, though I have several names that are not Fitz. I am gender-fluid leaning non-binary and consider myself transitioning to androgyne. I have no idea how I'm going to go about that yet, I just know it's something I need to make happen. My pronouns are subject to change on a whim because my gender is all wobbly, but either singular they or spivak pronouns are always acceptable.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on February 01, 2012, 07:02:31 pm
Hi Fitz!
     You'll be safe and find kindred souls here!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on February 01, 2012, 07:03:20 pm
Welcome to Susan's Androgyn section for Non-Binary.
You don't need to transition, you are already here.
How you deal with it, I think is more to the point.
Many paths in the forest here. Have fun.
Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: soulfairer on February 07, 2012, 11:04:36 pm
Hi, people. Greetings from Brazil!

It has been a while. I continue to dwelve through the forest. Months after HRT started, I'm somewhat more femalish than before, but not by much (other medications block my progress because they "eat" estrogen and I'll not afford to stress the liver, so going slow).

Still not comfortable seeking clothes with the colors I like in the womans' section, but I've already bought (myself, got others by the internet but going out and buying some and asking for the female counterpart is a "victory" that cannot be explained). Someday it will change, and it is near :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: soulfairer on February 07, 2012, 11:33:54 pm
Oh, my! I saw the cogiati test (didn't know it existed) and scored 205. Maybe time to think... Or seek some advice!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on February 08, 2012, 01:37:50 am
Oh, my! I saw the cogiati test (didn't know it existed) and scored 205. Maybe time to think... Or seek some advice!

Class 4 - Probable transsexual

"Probable" leaves a lot of uncertainty, especially with this sort of test.

(For some reason I've got "The Girl From Ipanema" stuck in my head.)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Apollo on February 10, 2012, 01:40:07 am
Androgyn, and questioning on possibility of FtM?

I love the idea of being masculine, I wish I were more tall, square jawed, flat-- You get the idea. I even get thrilled when people call me 'he' or 'sir'.

At the same time though, I love feminine things. I don't mind skirts or dresses. I'll wear heels and make up.. and just...

I'm 19, going 20 and I've dealt with these problems for years. Always questioning. I love the thought of Androgyn, I do. When I learned the term, I kind of fell for it. Yet I'm still not sure... I'm worried on my friends not taking me seriously, I wouldn't know what to do with myself in public situations.. I've never brought my issues up to people before, so this would be kind of out of the blue to them.

I'm mainly really confused and questioning, I love being masculine, and feminine and all that.

In short, I came here for a bit of guidance and understanding... and this seemed like the place to go.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on February 10, 2012, 05:28:05 am
Hi Apollo!

This is a good place to ask questions. The answers are varied, but there is always value in peoples answers here.
I just identify as Non-Binary lately, but I have been aligned with Androgyn for quite some time also.
It's fun here, topics seem to drift off some, but questions can help keep the discussions on track.
Read for a while or jump right in.
There are always new people, so don't feel you need to understand something to ask questions on any topic.
People here are friendly and understanding.
Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: BlueSloth on February 10, 2012, 02:30:02 pm
I love the thought of Androgyn, I do. When I learned the term, I kind of fell for it. Yet I'm still not sure... I'm worried on my friends not taking me seriously, I wouldn't know what to do with myself in public situations.. I've never brought my issues up to people before, so this would be kind of out of the blue to them.
What I did (very recently... I'm still a newbie myself) is take it one step at a time.  It's hard to figure out what you are if you're worried about the results.  So figure out what you are first, then worry about what people might think of it.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: foosnark on February 10, 2012, 11:11:25 pm
I've been meaning to post in this thread for a while and I'm only now taking the time to do so.  So, hi!

I am physically male, with no plans to transition.  I don't really feel physically like things are *wrong*, though perhaps if I'd been born female I would never really have considered myself outside the bounds.  If I could try a different body risk-free, or shapeshift at will, that'd be ideal.

I don't feel male in terms of social or spiritual gender though.  Some aspects of masculinity fit me just fine and others are alien to me and seem uncomfortably wrong.  When I was younger I came up with a concept similar to two-spirit (without knowing anything about it) to describe myself, and then partially forgot about it until a couple of years ago.

At that time, partially triggered by reading about "crossdreaming" (which I think partially, but not fully or adequately, describes me) I started questioning my gender and increasingly feeling the need to define and express it, even if in subtle coded ways.  Last summer it finally occured to me that nonbinary was even a real possibly, and that was key.

My understanding of myself and of gender are still evolving, but I think something in the vague zone of androgyne, two-spirit, and fluid is about right.  "Liminal" is word I like a lot.  I feel as if different parts of my self are one definite gender or the other while others are vague and/or mutable.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: soulfairer on February 11, 2012, 01:27:11 am
I am physically male, with no plans to transition.  I don't really feel physically like things are *wrong*, though perhaps if I'd been born female I would never really have considered myself outside the bounds.  If I could try a different body risk-free, or shapeshift at will, that'd be ideal.

I don't feel male in terms of social or spiritual gender though.  Some aspects of masculinity fit me just fine and others are alien to me and seem uncomfortably wrong.  When I was younger I came up with a concept similar to two-spirit (without knowing anything about it) to describe myself, and then partially forgot about it until a couple of years ago.

(...)

My understanding of myself and of gender are still evolving, but I think something in the vague zone of androgyne, two-spirit, and fluid is about right.  "Liminal" is word I like a lot.  I feel as if different parts of my self are one definite gender or the other while others are vague and/or mutable.

Hi, foosnark,

I've came to the same conclusion until two years ago. Then I started being interested in the subject, then started HRT, then started buying more gender-neutral clothes. It is constant learning and I agree: fluid is about right, even if I still have a strongly (for me, some say it's not, but the mirror tells otherwise) male appearance.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: soulfairer on February 11, 2012, 01:32:24 am
Hi, Apollo. I love the idea of being feminine, and I wish I were somewhat shorter, round jawed, curvy. We're all kinda in the same boat.

I think this is a place we can talk. Don't know about you, but I still don't know how to introduce the conversation to some people I'd like to talk about this. So when times are tough, I end up reading here and noticing many, many other people think as I do.

Still considering about removing my beard (not that I 'have' one, but the dots seem very masculine to me). Never been called ma'am, though.

Welcome!


Androgyn, and questioning on possibility of FtM?

I love the idea of being masculine, I wish I were more tall, square jawed, flat-- You get the idea. I even get thrilled when people call me 'he' or 'sir'.

At the same time though, I love feminine things. I don't mind skirts or dresses. I'll wear heels and make up.. and just...

I'm 19, going 20 and I've dealt with these problems for years. Always questioning. I love the thought of Androgyn, I do. When I learned the term, I kind of fell for it. Yet I'm still not sure... I'm worried on my friends not taking me seriously, I wouldn't know what to do with myself in public situations.. I've never brought my issues up to people before, so this would be kind of out of the blue to them.

I'm mainly really confused and questioning, I love being masculine, and feminine and all that.

In short, I came here for a bit of guidance and understanding... and this seemed like the place to go.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Apollo on February 13, 2012, 11:22:10 pm
Hi Apollo!

This is a good place to ask questions. The answers are varied, but there is always value in peoples answers here.
I just identify as Non-Binary lately, but I have been aligned with Androgyn for quite some time also.
It's fun here, topics seem to drift off some, but questions can help keep the discussions on track.
Read for a while or jump right in.
There are always new people, so don't feel you need to understand something to ask questions on any topic.
People here are friendly and understanding.
Ativan

Baw, you guys are the coolest.

What I did (very recently... I'm still a newbie myself) is take it one step at a time.  It's hard to figure out what you are if you're worried about the results.  So figure out what you are first, then worry about what people might think of it.

I've actually spoken and mentioned my issues with most of my close friends, and their understanding is actually really comforting and helpful.

Hi, Apollo. I love the idea of being feminine, and I wish I were somewhat shorter, round jawed, curvy. We're all kinda in the same boat.

I think this is a place we can talk. Don't know about you, but I still don't know how to introduce the conversation to some people I'd like to talk about this. So when times are tough, I end up reading here and noticing many, many other people think as I do.

Still considering about removing my beard (not that I 'have' one, but the dots seem very masculine to me). Never been called ma'am, though.

Welcome!

It's okay, we'll figure out what we're doing together.

Thanks for such a welcome you guys.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Fenrir on February 15, 2012, 08:17:51 pm
Hey there! This is more a re-introduction on my part (I keep doing this, I know, the leaving for months on end and then coming back) but hello, my name is Fenrir, and welcome to all you new people! Lovely to see you all, good luck finding things out and working out how you feel. (:
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on February 15, 2012, 08:28:01 pm
I say, "Hey!"

Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Fenrir on February 17, 2012, 08:49:15 pm
I say, "Hey!"
Hey!
What a wonderful kind of day (hey)
Where we learn to work and play,
And get along with each other...

(From the Arthur theme tune... anyone remember that cartoon?)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: caseyyy on February 18, 2012, 01:40:14 am
Hey!
What a wonderful kind of day (hey)
Where we learn to work and play,
And get along with each other...

(From the Arthur theme tune... anyone remember that cartoon?)

;D Nice. I used to love it...watched it after school every day, up until high school was over.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Alex11003131 on February 18, 2012, 07:25:53 pm
 ???

Hey, my birth names Michael, but I sometimes like to use the name Alex in my head, alot more recently too

I've really no idea what I am, I know I'm not female, but i'm now 80% sure i'm not male either, somedays I dont really notice it, but otherdays (like today) I'll just be sitting there on the bus, and, I dunno, something just feels different in me, I wont feel male, i'll look at my reflection and see neither male nor female and just think "damn, this feels <not allowed> good"
I've even been finding ways to look like i'm andro as well, looking in the mirror and finding hats, hoodies and shirts that hide the fact i'm born a guy

Maybe I am andro, a friend suggestest it today, I'm just really confused at the moment, guess i'm looking for support, I've felt like this for, well, ages, but its only been the past year that I've kinda paid attention to it, but its only been the past few weeks I've tried to work it out...

Ok so a bit more about me, I'm 18, I'm doing art and design at Perth College (scotland) and I'm head of the LGBT society of my college, I have a boyfriend, who doesn't really know about my gender confusion yet...
I've got alot of homophobia to deal with, but I fight it with all i've got because I believe in equality, I support all people under the LGBT umbrella, I love you all :) <3
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Melanie Anne on February 29, 2012, 09:11:11 am
Hi, I just registered here a few hours ago and posted an introduction in the main forum. So now to try to introduce myself here without repeating everything...

Well I spent my whole life knowing something was different but not exactly sure what. A few months ago I found information on Gilmartin's "love shy male" and "male lesbian" and that sent me on a whirlwind of research. I began to identify as MTF, but realized a few weeks ago that I didn't feel completely female and I didn't want to totally forsake my male side. That's when I started reading in this forum more and more. I have found such a sense of peace since reading a lot of your posts and I am sure I land somewhere between the two genders on the spectrum (I've also taken the COGIATI test and land in the androgynous range, although I don't feel a test can tell me who I am).

I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do with this information, but all of you in this forum have been a great help so far and I look forward to getting to know you better.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Pica Pica on February 29, 2012, 11:47:30 am
Well, enjoy exploring.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on March 01, 2012, 02:25:36 am
Well, enjoy exploring.

I'm no fashion expert, but you appear to be wearing a smoking jacket in your current avatar photo.

Very debonair.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on March 01, 2012, 08:55:43 am
Welcome to the forest!. Nice to know your here.

Ativan

(Love the attire, Pica! You are so alright  :) )
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Melanie Anne on March 01, 2012, 10:00:18 am
Thanks everyone.

Ativan - I love how you and others refer to this as the "Unicorn Forrest". I feel so at home reading all the different posts around here. You're all a little crazy which leads me to think I'll fit right in. :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Pica Pica on March 02, 2012, 12:55:35 am
I am wearing a smoking jacket, and posing by an artworx. This is to fool people into thinking that I am sophistimacated.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Melanie Anne on March 02, 2012, 05:39:57 am
I like the pose - like your gazing far off in some meaningful way...

Or is there just a spider on your ceiling somewhere?
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on March 02, 2012, 08:24:46 am
I am wearing a smoking jacket, and posing by an artworx. This is to fool people into thinking that I am sophistimacated.
I am extremely gullible, so you got me there Pica Pica!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on March 02, 2012, 10:42:40 am
I am wearing a smoking jacket, and posing by an artworx. This is to fool people into thinking that I am sophistimacated.

I've always considered you sophistimacated.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shang on March 08, 2012, 04:17:29 pm
:3 Not new, but introducing myself on here because it's only a recent conclusion in the last year or so.

I'm Lynn Gabriel (Gabriel, Arawn, etc.).  I'm 23 and female bodied.  I first thought FtM, but I never really knew mch about any other genders.  I feel as if I'm a nice mixture of both genders with either a leaning towards feminine male or masculine female depending on my mood.  I don't dress that way, though.  I dress like a fashionable female most of the time due to the job that I'm going to.  It's also hard to find clothes (feminine, masculine, or neither) that fit properly.

I guess that's about it. xD
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on March 08, 2012, 06:11:42 pm
:3 Not new, but introducing myself on here because it's only a recent conclusion in the last year or so.

I'm Lynn Gabriel (Gabriel, Arawn, etc.).  I'm 23 and female bodied.  I first thought FtM, but I never really knew mch about any other genders.  I feel as if I'm a nice mixture of both genders with either a leaning towards feminine male or masculine female depending on my mood.  I don't dress that way, though.  I dress like a fashionable female most of the time due to the job that I'm going to.  It's also hard to find clothes (feminine, masculine, or neither) that fit properly.

I guess that's about it. xD

 You're in good company Lynn, welcome to the extended family!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: BlueSloth on March 08, 2012, 06:14:03 pm
Hi Arawn... Lynn.. whatever..  welcome to the unicorn forest.  You can visit my tree any time :3
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on March 08, 2012, 07:07:06 pm
Yep, you're a familiar face around here to me. I got a tree house with a rope swing. The stairway is always open.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shang on March 08, 2012, 10:12:43 pm
@ Shantel:  Thank you! :3

@ BlueSloth:  I'm so happy you made it here. x3

@ Ativan:  Sweet.  Tree houses rock.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on March 22, 2012, 04:10:58 pm
Yep, you're a familiar face around here to me. I got a tree house with a rope swing. The stairway is always open.

I love rope swings.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: confused_one on March 27, 2012, 01:31:05 pm
Heyy, I'm Jamie (thankfully androgynous).  22, and seen as a gay guy - haven't really talked to anyone about the whole gender thing. 

I'm kinda still finding my way but I'm probably inbetween the two genders, I don't like being viewed as a male but on the other hand I don't have any want to transition - just well, yeah. Femininity is more my thing.  Still unsure as to where to place myself but hopefully I will find somewhere I can fit in, if not maybe create my own little spot (wishful thinking probably lol). 

I'm at University, in my second year in Birmingham, UK.  Studying Psychology, ironic much?

Other than that, umm, Hey :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on March 30, 2012, 06:36:55 pm
Welcome, you're at the right place and have lots of company here!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: confused_one on March 31, 2012, 03:37:06 pm
Thanks Shantel :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on April 01, 2012, 03:45:41 am
Heyy, I'm Jamie (thankfully androgynous).  22, and seen as a gay guy - haven't really talked to anyone about the whole gender thing. 

I'm kinda still finding my way but I'm probably inbetween the two genders, I don't like being viewed as a male but on the other hand I don't have any want to transition - just well, yeah. Femininity is more my thing.  Still unsure as to where to place myself but hopefully I will find somewhere I can fit in, if not maybe create my own little spot (wishful thinking probably lol). 

I'm at University, in my second year in Birmingham, UK.  Studying Psychology, ironic much?

Other than that, umm, Hey :)

Another "Jamie"!!!
Hooray!

We should start our own club.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Ash on April 05, 2012, 04:53:12 am
Hi I'm Ash. I am biologically female but regard myself as third gender. From a very young age I knew I "wasn't a girl".  Later on this led me to believe I was FtM but it never quite fit me. As I looked more into the trans community I discovered the term gender-queer. It fits me just perfectly- I was never a girl but I'm not a boy either. I think androgynous people are so beautiful and can't wait until I can finally have a body that looks like I am meant to.

As a person well, I'm not particularly interesting. I draw sometimes, I enjoy reading and writing short fiction. I love animals, especially cats and music that has character.

You guys all seem so awesome (and slightly crazy). I'm really glad I found this forum  :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Pica Pica on April 05, 2012, 06:53:41 am
No crazies here, just people getting on with it, as it would seem you are.

Nice to have you aboard.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on April 05, 2012, 08:25:38 am

As a person well, I'm not particularly interesting. I draw sometimes, I enjoy reading and writing short fiction. I love animals, especially cats and music that has character.
You guys all seem so awesome (and slightly crazy). I'm really glad I found this forum  :)

You sound perfectly fine to me, welcome Ash!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Julian on April 05, 2012, 08:31:51 am
You guys all seem so awesome (and slightly crazy).

An astute observation. :D We're all mad here.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: foosnark on April 05, 2012, 09:04:21 am
We're fine, it's the rest of the world that's insane. :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Ash on April 05, 2012, 01:16:15 pm
We're fine, it's the rest of the world that's insane. :)

I'll definitely agree with that! And when I said crazy I didn't mean it as a bad thing :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Edge on April 05, 2012, 09:36:23 pm
Hi. I'm Edge. I suppose I would fit here. I'm really confused and trying to find answers. I'm genderfluid... I think... As I said, I'm confused.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on April 06, 2012, 01:19:43 am
Hi. I'm Edge. I suppose I would fit here. I'm really confused and trying to find answers. I'm genderfluid... I think... As I said, I'm confused.

Now I'm confused!
Let's have a party.

This forum gets the most interesting of posters at Susans Place.  You will learn a lot.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: VelvetBat on April 06, 2012, 02:42:39 pm
Hi, I'm VelvetBat. I consider myself to be gender neutral. It has only been a couple of months since I started to accept myself as that, and I am still finding out how I can change my look and body to feel what matches my inside. And trying to find out what feels right.
Born as female, I also want to have a bit more masculine / androgynous look and a deeper voice, but I don't want to become a boy or man.
So I just started my journey to myself actually.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: confused_one on April 07, 2012, 10:39:16 am
Another "Jamie"!!!
Hooray!

We should start our own club.

Haha, right back at ya' :D The love for androgynous names :P
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Anthropos on April 17, 2012, 11:01:36 pm
Hey folks! My name is Mike (also known as Tim and Chrysanthemum within my circle of friends  :)) I've identified as genderqueer for about the past year, though I have only begun to present androgynously in the past few months. I am a senior anthropology student and fellow at my university, which thank G-d has an amazingly trans-inclusive LGBTUnion. I am only one of a couple others that identifies as non-binary gender-wise in the group, though, and I'd like to branch out and meet folks with the same identity, which is why I'm here. 
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on April 18, 2012, 12:40:03 am
Hi Mike!  Saw your photo in the other thread and your request on presentation tips.

First, take look through the beauty and make-up forums.  You might want to review older threads.  There are some good ones that date back a few years.  Use the search utility here with common keywords (i.e. eyebrows, lipstick, etc).

The are many interesting posters active in the androgyne forums.  I have only been lurking for a year, and posting since November, and I have found so many nice people and friends here.

Welcome!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on April 18, 2012, 12:43:37 am
Haha, right back at ya' :D The love for androgynous names :P

You have 15 posts now! You can modify your profile and use personal messaging.

Well done.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Cade on April 24, 2012, 01:18:34 pm
Hey everyone,

I'm Cade. I guess I'll start with labels then try to run away from them and just be me:

I think I'd be called genderqueer. I'm female-bodied but not female or male in my head. I'm a jeans and sweatshirts kind of person. I just started packing and it feels so natural.

I'm a work-at-home freelancer, so I'm always scrambling for jobs. But I'm also free to be who I want in the workplace!  :D

My wife and I have been together more than 30 years. She'd rather run the other way from a male unit, but she's supportive of my self-expression.

I'm looking forward to getting to know you guys.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: MiaOhMya! on April 24, 2012, 02:43:59 pm
I guess I'll start with labels then try to run away from them and just be me


 :eusa_clap: ;D LMAO, that's very well put and soooo true!

Well hello Cade, and welcome to the board!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Cade on April 24, 2012, 05:43:30 pm
 ;D
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on April 24, 2012, 06:23:01 pm
Welcome to the family Cade!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Cade on April 26, 2012, 06:58:30 pm
Thank you.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Justin 21 on April 30, 2012, 03:37:26 am
hi my name is Justin unless you look at my birth certificate, biologically i am female, but since i was a kid i didn't want to be a girl, originally this lead me to think i was ftm but after skulking around this site i feel this suites me better :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on April 30, 2012, 07:53:58 am
Welcome Justin, you're probably in the right place now!  :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on April 30, 2012, 12:59:31 pm
hi my name is Justin unless you look at my birth certificate, biologically i am female, but since i was a kid i didn't want to be a girl, originally this lead me to think i was ftm but after skulking around this site i feel this suites me better :)

Welcome Justin, from someone who just joined myself.

I had the opposite experience. Born male, felt I kept my female side under wraps for decades because I knew I wasn't MtF. Only a few weeks ago did I come across this group and it finally dawned that the world is made up of more than just males, females and transitioners.

I don't need to "transition" I can just be me! Wow.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: StarPixie on May 02, 2012, 10:56:56 am
i'm 25 and new to this forum

i consider myself neither male or female, more like in between, i like girls and i like having sex with guys too, on the personality aspect i don't fit the standard guy or the standard girl, but a mix of both and a mixture of an old personality too.

i have never taken hormones, my body is not so masculine but not so feminine, it is slender and certain parts have the girl shape, like the hips, but i still have to shave and get rid of the unwanted body hair from time to time.

it is very uncomfortable for me to have masculine traits, it bother's my mind, and i have been considering doing electrolysis on my face to remove my facial hair as much as it can be

i have also been considering taking some herbal hormones, i heard they are very light, that is why i would like to consider it, but i am not experienced in hormone taking, so i must take your advise

What i want is a cocktel of herbal hormones which is light, which can reduce testosterone significantly and increase estrogen lighty, lightly because i don't want breast growth at this point, i only want to enhance what i am so i feel better day to day

Thank you and Hi to everyone  :angel:
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: aleon515 on May 02, 2012, 08:37:44 pm
Hi new people (and not new people),

I'm new here too. In fact, never knew what was going on, but I think this part of the forum fits me. I have had a very confusing few months as I've come to figure out that this is what is going on. I never had a name for it before. I suppose I am FtA. I have always had some body dysphoria, but just thought, "well this is really strange". I haven't figured out what I am going to do about it. I ordered a binder and am getting a haircut, but I don't think that is really going to solve anything. I have been doing some reading and watching "genderqueer chat" on youtube, which is really a neat channel.

Anyway, glad to be here and "talk". I told one friend who thankfully has been very supportive and not weirded out at all, though I haven't told her the binder part.


--Jay Jay
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Justin 21 on May 02, 2012, 10:18:29 pm
Hi new people (and not new people),

I'm new here too. In fact, never knew what was going on, but I think this part of the forum fits me. I have had a very confusing few months as I've come to figure out that this is what is going on. I never had a name for it before. I suppose I am FtA. I have always had some body dysphoria, but just thought, "well this is really strange". I haven't figured out what I am going to do about it. I ordered a binder and am getting a haircut, but I don't think that is really going to solve anything. I have been doing some reading and watching "genderqueer chat" on youtube, which is really a neat channel.

Anyway, glad to be here and "talk". I told one friend who thankfully has been very supportive and not weirded out at all, though I haven't told her the binder part.


--Jay Jay


hi i'm pretty much in the same boat as you and if you need to talk go for it, you'll be surprised at how little changes can make you feel  :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on May 02, 2012, 11:32:41 pm
Hi new people (and not new people),

I'm new here too. In fact, never knew what was going on, but I think this part of the forum fits me. I have had a very confusing few months as I've come to figure out that this is what is going on. I never had a name for it before. I suppose I am FtA. I have always had some body dysphoria, but just thought, "well this is really strange". I haven't figured out what I am going to do about it. I ordered a binder and am getting a haircut, but I don't think that is really going to solve anything. I have been doing some reading and watching "genderqueer chat" on youtube, which is really a neat channel.

Anyway, glad to be here and "talk". I told one friend who thankfully has been very supportive and not weirded out at all, though I haven't told her the binder part.


--Jay Jay

Jay Jay, don't worry about labels!  Keep reading, interacting, and discussing.  Welcome!  :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Carbon on May 02, 2012, 11:53:24 pm
I'm sort of back if anyone remembers me. I chickened out HRT therapy and have been regretting it, but I'm trying to get things going again. I'm still not sure what label I want but I guess I can take things one step at a time.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: MiaOhMya! on May 03, 2012, 12:09:51 am
Hey Carbon, it ain't chicken to give oneself some time to think. These are big decisions!  Oh and Hi!  ;D
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Carbon on May 03, 2012, 12:12:58 am
Hey Carbon, it ain't chicken to give oneself some time to think. These are big decisions!  Oh and Hi!  ;D

Hi!

It's chicken to back when you know what you want but are scared of changes, admitting what you want to yourself, and other people's reactions. But I know I'm not the first to do it.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on May 03, 2012, 12:30:10 pm
I'm sort of back if anyone remembers me. I chickened out HRT therapy and have been regretting it, but I'm trying to get things going again. I'm still not sure what label I want but I guess I can take things one step at a time.

You're not a chicken, I did the same out of age and family considerations, I do prefer the tidy look of the female genitalia although I never hated the "little fella" as some do and it still fits my relationship needs.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Carbon on May 03, 2012, 11:23:27 pm
you all need to quit challenging my chicken identity

just kidding, but I really did just get scared and was trying to pretend I had never talked to anyone about it. I was thinking "when I finish with school I can move away and no one will know, so it will be like it didn't happen." now I've been having a hard time because of that.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: aleon515 on May 03, 2012, 11:38:05 pm
Jay Jay, don't worry about labels!  Keep reading, interacting, and discussing.  Welcome!  :)

Jamie (and boy do I love that name!!) I think perhaps (since it is hard to show that via posts) that I am not quite as worried about the labels as maybe I give the impression of. After all were it not for words, doubt I would know what was going on.

BTW, to the person who thinks they are chicken. GOOD for you! I think it is wise to not rush into anything, though one can change their mind and stop. NOt sure what exactly is reversible and what is not.


--Jay Jay
now go to bed me. :-)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Carbon on May 03, 2012, 11:48:24 pm
just talking to someone wouldn't have been rushing into things though.  :-\ my understanding is that they normally make you wait 3 months before HRT anyway.

I guess what I might have really needed more time for was being able to add another variable into my life, though. It's another thing to worry about.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on May 04, 2012, 09:41:31 am
@Carbon:  Chicken would be if you boasted that you are going to do something and then didn't. At all. A smart person walks up to the edge and looks over it. Considers all the immediate possible dangers and steps back to make a plan on how to successfully make the leap. Practice that leap, in their minds, making alternate plans for possible unseen problems. Then stepping up to the edge, and making the final decision of whether it is worth the risks. It's not about taking the step, it's about making the plans and the decisions that go with them.

You just go ahead at the pace you want to, it is your decision and yours alone. You do it for yourself. Don't let anyone talk you into doing anything else. Remember that most people would never consider thinking about it, let alone consider doing it.
It could very well be the biggest decision you may have to make. It's about more than the risks, it's about the end result of whether you decide to step or not to.

Be very careful to not become what you read, but keep in mind that you are also not alone in your need to become whoever you are to eventually be.

Take the time you need to do what is right for you. It's not a matter of faith or believing what you may hear, its a decision that you need to qualify the information and make the best possible decision.

Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Carbon on May 04, 2012, 01:22:32 pm
I definitely agree with the taking things at my own pace and I appreciate that... I definitely think many transgender people get forced into giving up parts of themselves that they don't want to give up because it is presented as an "all or nothing" thing. At the same time I guess the stuff directed at me just now is bothering me some because there is so much social force to not do anything and I am just not happy.

I've pretty much totally ruined the end of my classes (although they may accept this as a medical excuse and let me make some things up) and I seriously seriously was wanting to attack myself. The only reason I didn't is because I know what they do to people like that, but the idea of feeling like that more often is scary. so like, just ignoring it, pretending it doesn't exist... that is not a solution for me and practically speaking it would be just as big a decision for me for me to be making, especially since it seems to get worse and worse as time goes on.

I try to show a positive face because I really do feel so lucky to be alive and free but this stuff is still going on.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on May 04, 2012, 02:28:24 pm
Get the information to taking the first steps, then. The low does you may decide to go for are very reversible during the first months to possibly a year. Maybe just a very lose dose of Spiro will give you an idea if decrease effects of testosterone is what you want. It doesn't take away the testosterone, it just blocks the receptors and only in full transition doses will the effects become irreversible after months or possibly longer. I was on a transition dose, freaked and backed down to very low maintenance after initially stopping for a week or so.

Now I'm in the middle of the dosage I was taking and the results feel right for me. Again, YMMV. It's what ever you want. I have found the effects of testosterone blocked is very much a soothing kind of thing. The underlying rage and surface anger are far more under control than with out Spiro. The side effects, the physical ones are negligible. But the T to E ratio works for me. I'm trying to decide on E, have been for 6 months now. I would expect some physical changes to take place. Am I ready for that? Probably. But, I have a genuine F you narcissistic personality that doesn't give a <poo> what others may think. To paraphrase Joan Jett, I don't give a damn about my reputation.

I just don't know if the benefits fit me as well I would hope they do. But, (there is always a but it seems) I know from many others experience that the inner peace is substantial. That's important. Having feminizing effects does nothing if you are not in a mental state to use and take care of them.

It's about you, not what others think or percieve you to be. Myself, I think screw'm. Let them get their own life. They probably need one, and when you have one and they don't, you're either right or wrong. Either observation from the peanut crowd means nothing. You do. You are who you are, you can stay the same or find out if you can be better. Make the decision. Take the time you need, but sooner or later, you'l need to make that decision.

My split personality of Non-Binary: Imelda May - Psycho [Official] (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_NkJwFucnM#)
Keep on takin' your medication,
Lock that temper behind those pills
Your brain is fryin' insanely flyin'
Just remember it's bad to kill

I go with a psycho, I go with a psycho

Stop your growlin', no more prowlin'
Leave those cars and people alone
You're an animal, a human cannibal
Snarlin' and a snappin' like a dog on a bone

I go with a psycho, I go with a psycho

You terrify the neighbours when you scream and shout
You look like it's contagious, you're foaming at the mouth
You're a freakin' nightmare when you're lying in my bed
You sleep with eyes wide open, like the livin' dead

I go with a psycho, I go with a psycho

Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Carbon on May 04, 2012, 02:36:53 pm
I know a ton about the effects of the hormones honestly. :-\ I've been reading about various ways of decreasing testerone for probably the last 6 or so years (I was less sure about the estrogen and I definitely would want to start with a low dose and go from there, although I like the idea the more I get used to it). So glad things are going well for you, though, and I hope you keep figuring things out.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: no-time-to-panic on May 05, 2012, 12:00:22 am
This is the place for introductions, yes?

Well, hello everyone,

I created an account a while back, but I've only recently decided to use it. I've been struggling with gender identity for almost half a year now. I've always been "other" when it came to gender, even before I knew that was a real option. (It was just how I thought of myself as a kid.) When someone told me about non-binary genders, I felt a wave of calm and happiness -- like the click of finishing a puzzle. Still, I would constantly worry that, perhaps, I'm deluding myself and will come to regret the decision (I even criticized memories, since they're often influenced by present thinking). I tossed and contorted any evidence I could find against me to try to prove to myself that I was cisgendered, else I attacked myself with exaggerated fears of future situations and would show myself the worst possible view of the community I could find (for me, that was the horde of adolescents claiming to be genderqueer on tumblr) Now, I'm finally tired of putting up with the torments of my nitpicking mind. I just want to admit to myself that I'm non-binary and that's okay. I don't know why I feel shame or frustration towards myself for it. I know you can't exactly choose who you are, but you can suppress it and try to adjust. But is that really worth it? What am I even so deathly afraid of!?

Sorry, for the melodrama. I was never a fan of melodrama, but when you hold things in for so long, they tend to spew out uncontrollably.

Anyway, this is an awful first impression.

Hello, I like David Bowie and Cubism; my favorite time period is the 1910s; and I am a ghastly cook. Pleasure to meet you. Kindly ignore most of the first paragraph.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: BlueSloth on May 05, 2012, 12:25:57 am
Anyway, this is an awful first impression.
No it's not.  It's a first impression I can relate to.

Hi *waves*
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on May 05, 2012, 09:09:42 am
I know you can't exactly choose who you are, but you can suppress it and try to adjust. But is that really worth it? What am I even so deathly afraid of!?

Sorry, for the melodrama. I was never a fan of melodrama, but when you hold things in for so long, they tend to spew out uncontrollably.

Welcome no-time.

Luckily we can all choose what "not suppressing who we are" means to us. For some it will mean taking hormones, radically altering our appearance, etc. For other it might just mean letting nuances of our personality show that we used to think had to stay hidden.

Not only are we each allowed to decide exactly that that means, but we're also allowed to change our minds at any time!

Being non-binary may be how we're born, but we do get to choose exactly that that means to us and how we express it.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on May 05, 2012, 10:46:28 am
@ nttp: We all go through this, have gone through this and will go through all of this again at some time or another.
Not perfectly normal, maybe, but we will or have or will again. It's the uncertainty of something as outlandish as....
OMG! Non-Binary! The World won't understand and neither do I!, syndrome or whatever you want to call it. The uncertainty caused by no clear cut answer to any and all the questions that come with it.

Your first impression is one of the best I personally have seen here in the couple years I have spent pissing people off around here. Good job! I think it's a classic. It's all true, all that, is the (more or less) way it goes for most everyone here. For Transsexuals, not so much. They seem to have a different view of how this manifests itself in them. That being said, I think if anyone should stick around and find out the rest of what will become your story, it's you.

Most welcome and I personally am looking forward to your posts.
My first advice is to be careful that you don't become what you read. It is just some of the many personal viewpoints and opinions of others. You should always keep in mind that you are different, as we all are different from each other in many regards. But, that is precisely what holds us together as a group. All terms and labels have multiple meanings and are simply opinions and guidelines (if you prefer), that many hold loosely in common.

Also keep in mind that the threads may drift away into other nonsensical subjects without notice. (this doesn't seem to be happening as much lately, but it's a result of to much seriousness going on. We should never take ourselves and the world this serious, it's detrimental to ourselves. To much seriousness takes the fun out of being non-binary.)

Join in, have fun, and find out that being non-binary isn't the end of anything, it is the beginning of a new and better you.

Ativan

Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on May 05, 2012, 11:31:33 am
That's great advice Ativan! It's so easy to be influenced by the thoughts and personal agenda of others. Having attended trans-group meetings in the past I noticed how group-think seemed to prevail, a few went on to the applause of the group and became someone that they later came to regret. I recall one post-op woman who re-appeared at the meetings unexpectedly. She had a great outcome transitioning into a good looking woman. She was a manufacturer's rep and met a fellow on the east coast who fell in love with her and even proposed. Meanwhile while visiting her family back home, her children had been missing their daddy, and her former spouse wanted to get back together and was willing to take her back just as she now was. She met up with an old buddy dressed in jeans and a Pendleton shirt, suddenly she was overcome with huge regrets. I recall this event well because her experience caused me to do some deep introspection on my own and I backed out of SRS at the last moment.
You are absolutely correct Ativan, this business requires a lot of thought. As for now let me say that learning to just be me and integrating with family and my close society is most important in the overall scheme of life.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Carbon on May 05, 2012, 01:11:45 pm
Quote
She met up with an old buddy dressed in jeans and a Pendleton shirt, suddenly she was overcome with huge regrets. I recall this event well because her experience caused me to do some deep introspection on my own and I backed out of SRS at the last moment.

I feel like very few people regret transition, but a lot of people regret individual things they did or gave up, like going through SRS because without it you can't be a "real" woman, regardless of whether you actually want it. Obviously I don't believe that, but there is a lot of pressure for people to think that way.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: no-time-to-panic on May 05, 2012, 06:48:56 pm
It's great to finally talk with people about this. Thank you, everyone, for your kind words!

I'll keep in mind your advice, Ativan. Though determining whether something is truly of yourself or influenced strongly by others can be difficult. Furthermore, staying stagnant when you should take action can be just as harmful as taking action that you come to regret. Then, I could be bias to that regard seeing as I've been painfully stagnant up until recently. Still, it's much harder to withdraw action once regretted than it is to take action once you're certain. The hardest thing out of all, however, is to be absolutely certain. Either way, something as irreversible as surgery or hormones would be a long way off for me, circumstantially.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on May 05, 2012, 06:56:32 pm
I feel like very few people regret transition, but a lot of people regret individual things they did or gave up, like going through SRS because without it you can't be a "real" woman, regardless of whether you actually want it. Obviously I don't believe that, but there is a lot of pressure for people to think that way.

Don't we know! It's OK though because generally five minutes from now the things that other people think or have to say about me and my situation or of that other woman I was referring to will have absolutely no impact on our lives. We all do as we feel led, sometimes there are others close to us who are so negatively impacted by our decisions that there comes a time when we have to either rethink our game plan or lose our souls.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on May 05, 2012, 08:45:47 pm
N-T-T-P
There are some well intentioned people that pass on their information and opinions, from a binary and or transsexual point of view. They are for the most part, correct for who they are and the view points that go along with who they are. The problems arise when the information given is incorrect for non-binaries.

The fault lies in the inability to understand the difference between Androgyn's, etc. and when they (binaries) have been at a stage of partial transition. They mistakenly think of it as being basically the same thing. It's not. This goes both ways. They are traveling from one end of a gender spectrum to the other end. We are transitioning (if at all) within the vastness between those ends of the so called spectrum, without any need to be at one end or the other. The spectrum is what they travel through and is very similar to where non-binaries are. It's very much the same at certain instances, but only for those short periods of time.

Non-binaries are not on that spectrum, but rather in a place that parallels, so to speak, that between gender spectrum. There aren't any clear cut ends to it (think fades away). The needs and wants that belong to non-binaries are very different from Transsexuals (there are others, but I use them as a best example). Just as how we tend to go about things, and our desires to transition specifically to our own needs are not good advice for them, so it is to try and use their ways of transitioning. There are of course exceptions, when either wish a transition like the other.

Then there is the vast variety of non-binaries that have different goals in mind. Makes for a very confusing list of how to's. That's why it is best to research and seek out knowledgable professionals who are up to date. Lot's has been happening in the last few years, and even in the last year things have changed. That's not to say that there aren't some very up to date and knowledgable people here, right now. There are. But you still need to decide if the information is right for you.

The other thing about reading peoples accounts and opinions here is that at first it can sound like just what you need or are.
Probably not. The diversity is enormous. So just be careful not to become what you read and don't think that one persons med regime and/or opinion is going to be correct for you. Again, there are some very knowledgeable people here, you need to decide what is right for you.

I'm not trying to sound discouraging, in fact, We want you to explore here and find out more about yourself by reading what others have to say. We want you to discover who you really are, and help you find out what is going to truly make you happy. Odds are good for that. It might get tough at times, but that happens to us all. There are many really good people here that can help you through the tough times. A few scars never hurts anyone. The best journeys in life always leave you with a few to brag about, lol. We and those also just getting here, can benefit from what you learn as well.

Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: no-time-to-panic on May 05, 2012, 09:17:58 pm
Ah, I believe I see what you mean now, Ativan.

I've been familiar with the non-binary spectrum for some time. I never saw it as an "in-between" male and female. (Though, I suppose for some it can be.) The most accurate visual representation I've seen is comparing gender to the color/value wheel. Even that is not a perfect metaphor.

Because of the array of non-binary genders, there is less overlap as to what's best from person to person than if one were to transition to a binary gender. You are advising to be certain to understand yourself, and not look too heavily for the opinions and ideas of others for a way to define yourself. Not to say a person shouldn't explore, but one needs to keep sight of who they truly are and understand that what works for another might not be best for them. Also, do not necessarily look at how binary genders transition as an example for how one who is non-binary transitions. Am I understanding you more correctly now?
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on May 05, 2012, 10:14:47 pm
Yep
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on May 06, 2012, 09:56:21 am
Ativan's biology lesson, within this community there is Species, Phylum and Sub-Phylum and so it goes! It was an eloquent and well articulated post Ativan!  :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on May 06, 2012, 02:37:46 pm
N-T-T-P
There are some well intentioned people that pass on their information and opinions, from a binary and or transsexual point of view. They are for the most part, correct for who they are and the view points that go along with who they are. The problems arise when the information given is incorrect for non-binaries....

SNIP for brevity

.... I'm not trying to sound discouraging, in fact, We want you to explore here and find out more about yourself by reading what others have to say. We want you to discover who you really are, and help you find out what is going to truly make you happy. Odds are good for that. It might get tough at times, but that happens to us all. There are many really good people here that can help you through the tough times. A few scars never hurts anyone. The best journeys in life always leave you with a few to brag about, lol. We and those also just getting here, can benefit from what you learn as well.

Ativan

Really well stated, Ativan.  Thanks
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Taka on May 16, 2012, 07:25:29 am
welcome all new members!

it's nice to see other people joining when i myself was away. i hope your stay will be useful and uplifting for you

i've been gone because of work, funerals, depression, and lack of gender dysphoria for a while
now that my boss magically managed to pull me out of the worst depression, i feel like i can start searching for myself again

N-T-T-P
.
.
Ativan
you really know how to say it, ativan. your advice here is just as good as the one you once gave me in a slightly more incomprehensible writing style (unfortunately it was deleted later. and you probably don't even remember it since the significanse of it was immeasurable only to me)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Empty Miroir on May 16, 2012, 12:42:15 pm
Well, I'm Empty Miroir (french for mirror), I lurked here a few years ago and have sporadically crawled back at times to check up on everything. Though I found it high time to make myself known, I'm getting more focused and serious when it comes to my gender identity. I'm 21 years old, Canadian, born female but feel that I'm genderless and I know that the body I have now isn't reflecting my true self. I've been wanting top surgery for at least 5 years.

I live like a hermit, staying inside almost 24/7 and have taken up painting along with my drawings.
I love horror, morbid and creepy things and have an obsession with naming all my possessions.
I want to eventually become a graphic novelist, I love making up stories and visualizing them on paper.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on May 16, 2012, 03:20:17 pm
Thanks everyone!

Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: axolotl` on May 17, 2012, 12:36:53 am
Found this forum through a google for something unrelated, but I am happy to see it exists!

I am completely gender neutral. To me personally, I do not understand how people slap gender on anything, clothes, names, objects, places.. literally anything. I do not fully understand gender as a concept at all! It really baffles me.

That said, I do have a penis, it is pretty great. I wear clothes that I find comfortable and think look good, whether it is jeans, skirts, shirts, anything. I tend to prefer clothes 'intended' for girls, but this is mainly due to my small size and the fact 'mens' clothes do not fit. At all. Ever. EXTRA small is 36" chest? Good grief!

Occasionally I get a little dysphoric about not having breasts, I am not sure what causes this. Dysphoria even seems too strong a word to describe it.. sometimes it upsets me, sometimes it just bugs me. I have some fake ones that I like to put on sometimes, but whether that makes me feel better or worse about it is a little random.

Aaanyway! It is nice to meet everyone! Sorry if I came across a little frank and offended anyone, was just trying to get my take on things across. Of course I have no problem with how anyone else feels!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on May 17, 2012, 05:09:17 am
Just a little information for our new members on the Androgyne board:

Welcome to Susan's  :)   Nice to have you here

Please be sure to review


You are also welcome to post your biography on the Introductions board.

Welcome aboard.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on May 17, 2012, 05:12:54 am
Found this forum through a google for something unrelated, but I am happy to see it exists!

Welcome.  axolotl` sounds like a Nahuatl name.  Does it have a translation?
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on May 17, 2012, 05:20:37 am
Well, I'm Empty Miroir (french for mirror), I lurked here a few years ago and have sporadically crawled back at times to check up on everything. Though I found it high time to make myself known, I'm getting more focused and serious when it comes to my gender identity. I'm 21 years old, Canadian, born female but feel that I'm genderless and I know that the body I have now isn't reflecting my true self. I've been wanting top surgery for at least 5 years.

I live like a hermit, staying inside almost 24/7 and have taken up painting along with my drawings.
I love horror, morbid and creepy things and have an obsession with naming all my possessions.
I want to eventually become a graphic novelist, I love making up stories and visualizing them on paper.

Humans, by nature, are social beings. I hope interacting with your contemporaries here helps you re-connect.  I know about being isolated, and it can be very tough.

There are several posters here who are into graphic novels, comics, etc. "Malachite" comes to mind.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Empty Miroir on May 20, 2012, 10:21:33 pm
Humans, by nature, are social beings. I hope interacting with your contemporaries here helps you re-connect.  I know about being isolated, and it can be very tough.

There are several posters here who are into graphic novels, comics, etc. "Malachite" comes to mind.
Thanks for the warm welcome Jamie D! Yes, I definitely hope to come out of my shell, and this seems like the best place to do it. It feels like safe haven to me.
And thank you for the suggestion, hopefully malachite won't be too creeped out when a random stranger PM's them. Lol.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on May 21, 2012, 12:42:24 am
Thanks for the warm welcome Jamie D! Yes, I definitely hope to come out of my shell, and this seems like the best place to do it. It feels like safe haven to me.
And thank you for the suggestion, hopefully malachite won't be too creeped out when a random stranger PM's them. Lol.

As I recall, you will need to get the the 15 post threshold before the personal messaging utility is turned on.

"Malachite" and some of the other graphic novel/comic fans frequently post in the  "General Discussions" forum.

Again, welcome.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: MiaOhMya! on May 21, 2012, 04:01:41 pm
Hi emtpy miroir!  Welcome!   ;D

I understand how you feel. I too hid myself away...still do sometimes. I am really trying hard to get over the emotional trauma I experienced through the years. Lying about who we are inflicts real damage.

There's a part of me who still hides, and I know I won't be truly free until I get over that part. I'm okay with being alone, but hiding away is what bothers me most because it never solves the real issue.

Transition is, for me, coming out of hiding. It's tough to stand and have the courage to be one's self. I feel like a captive animal learning to be free; I look back and see my old cage as a familiar yet cruel comfort. Its a place I know. This uncharted wilderness of life is scary, and its hard work learning to trudge forward rather than run back to my cage at the first sign of peril.  However the further away I get, the more I can handle. Have faith in yourself!!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on May 21, 2012, 04:27:40 pm
You have many here who have faith in you. There are many who truly wish your journey to be as easy as possible.
A few scars along the way will give you something to talk about and hopefully use to help others who come to this place.
We all have our stories, yours will become one of the many that are here.

Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Ariel on May 26, 2012, 04:50:30 pm
I am so happy this place exists! I am female-bodied, and I've always been okay with that... except those times I haven't. I ignored those times though and wrote them off as being part of being bisexual.

I've always struggled with gender roles, though. I like a lot of things that are traditionally "male"... I tend to identify more with men, am more comfortable with my male friends, etc.... except that I also will identify with women in fiction, say. Sometimes. Not always. "Do I identify with this person or not?" seems less gender-based for me than generally personality-based. I like clothing of both genders, I tend to dress in a mix. I really loved going out with my ex-girlfriend and playing the "male" role, but I really love going out with my husband and playing the "female" role. My ideal work is in a heavily male-dominated area (astronomy) and almost every "person I look up to" is male but I identify far more with my mother than my father.

What I'm getting at here is that through my life I've always felt like I was somewhere... in between, not quite fitting with men or women. But I'm not bigender, really. I don't feel like "both," really, I feel like "neither" or "somewhere in between." In the fiction I write there are a lot of people who are fluid in gender and the societies I make up are far less rigid on gender roles than ours. I seem to get along best with people who are somewhere in between--whether femme gay men or butch lesbians, trans* folks, genderqueer, etc. When I don't have to be "one or the other" I can just relax and be me.

For a while I thought this was all just a product of the fact that I am on the autism spectrum--a lot of autistics don't fit neatly into the gender binary, especially autistic females because of social blindness females aren't "supposed" to have. But then I've been having fantasies about being male recently... but I'm comfortable being in the body I'm in... most of the time, like I said. And all the discourse I'd heard about gender identity was around FtM or MtF so I went desperately looking to see if I was just crazy or what.

I don't quite know what to do at the moment, or what I need to do, but I'm glad somebody else in the world is in some sort of similar place. I'm lucky in a way that I have a very accepting family and a name that could be either male or female (my parents were going to give me the same name regardless of my sex), but this is all extremely new so I'm... feeling it out.

Sorry to ramble; I'm prone to that. I don't know how much I'll post but I felt like I needed to say something to somebody. :) And as accepting as people are I have a lot of social fears that I know are unfounded--what's going through my head right now is "what do I tell my husband?" Logically I know it'll probably be fine but emotionally I'm terrified of rejection or mis-communication. I think it's time to go looking for topics on that to see what others have done...
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on May 26, 2012, 05:03:54 pm
Welcome Ariel.

Though I'm male-bodied, I have a lot of the same issues. It was fantasizing about having a female body that brought me to Susan's.

You'll find a lot of the people here are on the autism spectrum or have social adjustment issues.

I hope you find what you're looking for here.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Carbon on May 26, 2012, 05:24:39 pm
I'm one of them autism spectrum people. We really are gradually taking over the internet aren't we?

Welcome though. Personally, I identify with MtF people a lot, but... if I was born with a female body, would I be totally happy? I think I would be like you and still not feel quite at home, even though I could handle it and be more or less happy (can't tell the "gatekeepers," that, though. they'd take as a lack of commitment)

And of course gender roles just make no sense any way you cut it....
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Kathy on May 26, 2012, 06:58:24 pm
Hello, I'm Kathy, I'm a androgyne, that means, I like to wear, use, and act as a woman, but in the other side, I act in my normal life as a man, that's what androgynes are half and half, the only thing if if it it helps, is that I'm enjoy both sides, when I can I'm act as a woman for days, and when the times come to return to reality, I act as I was born, I wish of course be born as a female, what happens this to us, I don't know yet, but enjoy what you are, God will bless you any how, if you are good with your self and with the others around you
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Emerald on May 26, 2012, 09:34:32 pm
Hello, I'm Kathy, I'm a androgyne, that means, I like to wear, use, and act as a woman, but in the other side, I act in my normal life as a man, that's what androgynes are half and half, the only thing if if it it helps, is that I'm enjoy both sides, when I can I'm act as a woman for days, and when the times come to return to reality, I act as I was born, I wish of course be born as a female, what happens this to us, I don't know yet, but enjoy what you are, God will bless you any how, if you are good with your self and with the others around you

Kathy, you seem to be confusing 'Androgyne' with 'Bigender'.
Androgynes are not Bigender. Bigenders are not Androgyne.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bigender (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bigender)
I hope this information is helpful to you! :)
-Emerald
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on May 26, 2012, 10:03:42 pm

Kathy, you seem to be confusing 'Androgyne' with 'Bigender'.
Androgynes are not Bigender. Bigenders are not Androgyne.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bigender (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bigender)
I hope this information is helpful to you! :)
-Emerald

Emerald, "androgyne" is a big umbrella.  It comprises all of the non-binaries.

I think the bigender definition you  pointed to would be what I call "genderfluid."  Am I missing something?

The very root words in androgyne suggest the blending of the genders.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on May 26, 2012, 10:06:30 pm
Ariel - glad you came.  I hope it will help you better discover yourself.

For the new members, please be sure to review


After 15 posts, you will be able to use the personal messaging utility.  If you have any questions, feel free to contact me, or any other moderator.  Welcome.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Emerald on May 28, 2012, 06:35:26 am
Emerald, "androgyne" is a big umbrella.  It comprises all of the non-binaries.

I think the bigender definition you  pointed to would be what I call "genderfluid."  Am I missing something?

The very root words in androgyne suggest the blending of the genders.

Jamie D, I know what an Androgyne is, what a Bigender is, and what GenderFuid means... and I know how each of these differs from one another. I suggest you seek to understand the differences too. Gender is a rather important subject on this website. ;)

Also, as new forum moderator, it would be prudent for you to read this thread:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=22474 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=22474)
Here you will discover, without uncertainty, that Androgyne is not an umbrella term.
An Androgyne is a person... a person of a specific gender type.

Hope you find this to be of help, JD. :)
-Emerald
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Nero on May 28, 2012, 06:54:54 am

Jamie D, I know what an Androgyne is, what a Bigender is, and what GenderFuid means... and I know how each of these differs from one another. I suggest you seek to understand the differences too. Gender is a rather important subject on this website. ;)

Also, as new forum moderator, it would be prudent for you to read this thread:

http://https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,22474.0.html (http://https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,22474.0.html)
Here you will discover, without uncertainty, that Androgyne is not an umbrella term.
An Androgyne is a person... a person of a specific gender type.

Hope you find this to be of help, JD. :)
-Emerald


Hi Emerald,
The link you posted isn't coming up for me. Regardless, Jamie D. was correct in that this androgyne forum functions as the umbrella for different non-binary genders here.
I think we need to be careful defining people and behaviors. Kathy's post sounds not unlike many self-identified androgynes here.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Emerald on May 28, 2012, 07:21:52 am

I think you will find the link in working order now.
-Emerald
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: torn on May 28, 2012, 08:22:10 am
 Just joined, this site is very inspirational. Without going into detail all the evidence suggests that I am psychologically androgynous or an androgyne, a term I learned from this site which I like a lot, and there is a link between this and over a decade of depression and I need to accept this. I am doing a few simple things to look not quite as masculine so I will feel comfortable with my appearance matching the way I feel and act again, really nothing drastic, and getting over terrible fears such as embarrassment that people will notice displays of femininity at times. While a heterosexual male, there are countless clues that I am psychologically an androgyne, and I actually don't have a choice about this if I want to be happy.
 I enjoy reading peoples' posts on here, it is very encouraging.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on May 28, 2012, 08:38:00 am
and getting over terrible fears such as embarrassment that people will notice displays of femininity at times. While a heterosexual male, there are countless clues that I am psychologically an androgyne, and I actually don't have a choice about this if I want to be happy.
 I enjoy reading peoples' posts on here, it is very encouraging.

Welcome torn. I'm also a straight male, been posting here for a couple months, and I've felt very welcome.

I like what you said about getting over fears and embarrassment about not acting masculine all the time. That's a battle I'm still fighting with myself. I'm giving myself permission to act more feminine when I feel that way but I don't want people to feel uncomfortable and I'm still not comfortable with it myself.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on May 28, 2012, 01:32:40 pm

Jamie D, I know what an Androgyne is, what a Bigender is, and what GenderFuid means... and I know how each of these differs from one another. I suggest you seek to understand the differences too. Gender is a rather important subject on this website. ;)

Also, as new forum moderator, it would be prudent for you to read this thread:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=22474 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=22474)
Here you will discover, without uncertainty, that Androgyne is not an umbrella term.
An Androgyne is a person... a person of a specific gender type.

Hope you find this to be of help, JD. :)
-Emerald


Thank you for your response, Emerald.

I take a more expansive view of the term "androgyne," as the term has grown over the years to accommodate a wider group of people.  When first used, "androgyne" was synonymous with "hermaphrodite."  Then it became used to describe all intersex conditions.  Then, to describe gender identity.  And so on.  It has evolved.

"Androgenous" as I use it is best summed up as"

1. being both male and female; hermaphroditic.
2. having both masculine and feminine characteristics.
3. having an ambiguous sexual identity.
4. neither clearly masculine nor clearly feminine in appearance.


(Dictionary.com)

This is essentially the same meaning as the one posted by Susan five years ago.

I appreciate, however. that there are nuances in the terminology.

 
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on May 29, 2012, 02:00:52 am
Just joined, this site is very inspirational. Without going into detail all the evidence suggests that I am psychologically androgynous or an androgyne, a term I learned from this site which I like a lot, and there is a link between this and over a decade of depression and I need to accept this. I am doing a few simple things to look not quite as masculine so I will feel comfortable with my appearance matching the way I feel and act again, really nothing drastic, and getting over terrible fears such as embarrassment that people will notice displays of femininity at times. While a heterosexual male, there are countless clues that I am psychologically an androgyne, and I actually don't have a choice about this if I want to be happy.
 I enjoy reading peoples' posts on here, it is very encouraging.

Hi, torn

Just some housekeeping for new members

Please be sure to review


Welcome and enjoy!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Metal Stuart on June 27, 2012, 07:43:52 pm
Hi Im Jesse or Stuart, either name works for me. I use Jesse in my day to day life, at work and such, as it's neither a socially considered masculin or feminin name, but I have lately been drawn to the name Stuart and have been trying it out here and there.

I consider myself genderqueer or genderless but I am still feeling my way around these terms since I first heard about them about a year and a half ago.

Currently doing a lot of reading on transitioning and discovering what aspects I do and do not want to change.

Other then that I'm your average friendly metal head who likes body mods, music, art and nothing more then a morning snuggle with my cat (doing that as I type  :laugh: )

I look forward to learning a lot of stuff here
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Marcia on June 29, 2012, 07:37:07 pm
Hi you can call me Mark or Marcia.
     
 I was born male but at times think I should be female. So either name will work.

Growing up I played with the guys but wanted to talk with the girls more but they always just saw me and treated me as a guy. During puberty most days I wished that I would turn into a girl. But then I somehow grew out of it or just turn that part of my mind off. A number of years later those feelings came back but again after a time they stopped. Then a couple of months they came back again but this time I instead of blocking them out I am embracing them. I can now see how blocking that side of has hurt me socially and emotionally. So lately I have started to explore my female side and starting to enjoy it. There are days where I wake up and feel like I am a male and then by the time I go to bed I will feel like I am a female. Then there are other days where I can go the whole day feeling like I am a female. Those days aren't bad the days that I hate are the days where it feels like I am caught in a storm and don't know what I am I just have a bad headache. There are also days where the male side and the female side will argue with each other over what I am those really give me headache that aspirin wont help.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on June 29, 2012, 09:18:15 pm
Welcome Mark/Marcia. Sounds like your background and mine were similar. I tend to want to be friends with females despite being male bodied, and I also spend time wishing I could have been born a woman.

Allowing myself to face these feelings has been a freeing experience.

Enjoy Susan's. I've found it to be very accepting.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Marcia on June 29, 2012, 09:46:40 pm
Thanks agfrommd. While looking over the posts it looks like every is very friendly.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Gemma on July 01, 2012, 04:07:11 pm
Hello Dahlings,

My name is Shannon. Born fem gaymale. Always secretly wanted to be a girl but I also did boy things. Later in my adult life I begin to transition into a super fem appearance. Now everywhere i go even on a not so fem day Im still called she, her, Ms or maam. But I am very aware that I was born male & dont want srs surgery but I enjoy almost living as a woman. So am I androgyne????


Anyways high fashion I breathe, luvs it celebrity gossip & i happly endulge in herbal relaxation. My dog Barbie is a diva. I love to socialize & learn about life. Very spiritual christian & my grandma is my best-girlfriend
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on July 01, 2012, 04:11:32 pm
So am I androgyne????

Welcome to Susan's, Shannon.

Only you can answer that question, but the way you describe yourself it certainly could fit. Sounds like you're not comfortable identifying with either of the two binary gender options.

Stay and post. The people here are very accepting.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Phoeniks on July 06, 2012, 07:29:42 am
Hi you all :)

I'm 23 and gender-confused. I'm also quite new with these things, I only started questioning my gender identity for real during the last year. I look female, though I have some masculine features like broad shoulders and quite sharp and strong face features. I'd like to look more androgynous, but I'm not sure what I want to do about it yet. I identify as a fluid mixture between a masculine female and a feminine male.

People irl call me phoenix a lot - I have this long and fiery orange, curly hair and maybe I look somewhat birdy. Dunno :P Apart from gender thingies I spend my life doing all things nerdy. I write and read lots of fantasy and scifi and play different kinds of RPGs - live, computer etc. I love drawing and singing, too.

This looks like a good place, I'm happy I found my way here :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: GreenTea on July 09, 2012, 07:01:11 pm
I'm 22, gender-fluid/androgynous/whatever. Born female, tried transitioning to male for a while and now I've just settled with making my family happy and living life as gender-neutral as I can. People mix me up on the street a lot, I'll get called sir or bro now and then but usually people just see me as a big lesbian lol. I have no issues with either, really. I'm not finicky about pronouns.

I like getting outside, hiking, biking, working out, reading, writing, reading (lately I'v been reading a lot of scifi and fantasy)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on July 14, 2012, 10:47:38 pm
Hi Phoeniks and Green Tea

Sorry I haven't been on top of this thread.

Just some housekeeping for new members

Please be sure to review


Phoeniks - Every single person on this website started with a question - "If wonder if I ..."?
Questioning is the first step to understanding.

Green Tea - Sometimes it is difficult to resolve the dilemma of "competing interests."  Family, job, significant others, self.

Keep up that healthy lifestyle!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Winter(howl) on August 10, 2012, 03:55:20 am
Since I am SUPER brilliant and already posted an introduction in the general area of the forums, I was conflicted on what to post here when I realized I could link it!   :o

Yes, it's true, I AM amazing!   :laugh:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,124726.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,124726.0.html)

So, anyway, brand new to all of this though I've really been this way forever.  I really, really liked I think it was Erik's? use of the word ambigendered.  :)  I REALLY like that.  It makes a lot of sense to me.

In any case, I won't bore you with other details but will instead leave that for later!  Please feel welcome to read the intro I already linked to above.

Thanks.  :)  Very glad to be here.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Winter(howl) on August 10, 2012, 04:02:18 am
Hi Ariel!

I really identify with so much of what you posted, I hope we're able to chat more at some point.  I am really recently exploring myself more recently instead of simply being content with the status-quo.  Well, let me say I've never felt content but I've never really researched much or given myself enough credit to actually find out more about myself, who I am, seek out others who felt the same/shared the same conflicts.

I am very excited to be here and look forward to communication with all of you!  :)

*Anyone else pause at some of the verifications and have to think a minute?  :P  LOL, it's making me feel like a moron!  To my credit, it's about 5am here.*
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Winter(howl) on August 11, 2012, 01:57:32 pm
I don't know if anyone else did or is doing this, but I wanted to invite you to view my responses if you have anything to share:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,121205.new.html#new (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,121205.new.html#new)

I hope this isn't too forward or...I dunno, whatever?   :P

I want to get to know more of you guys but I'll admit I'm a little shy about reaching out to specific people I've found interesting.  I am NOT like this in person honestly but this is very new territory for me.

Thanks.  :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on August 14, 2012, 04:59:45 pm
Welcome Jules. I hope our forum helps you find your answers.
 
As you can see, I definitely don't have a traditional "trans* narrative"

Actually, you'll read a lot of similar stories here.
 
is 25-26 too “late” to discover my transness?

Hope not. Didn't dawn on me until my 50's!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on August 14, 2012, 06:45:22 pm
Sounds like your on the right track for yourself.
It does take time to absorb it all, to be able to make it comprehensible for yourself.
Don't worry about labels and definitions, they tend to overlap quite a bit.
It can be worth the time and effort to use the search function, to find threads of interest.
While it is fun to explore different aspects of non-binary, be careful that you don't become what you read.
Everyone is different, just as you might suspect. Be true to yourself.
Welcome to the Forest, it's a great place to hang around.
Maybe even build yourself a tree fort (or more), to write your post's from...

Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on August 16, 2012, 05:02:12 am
I was reading through this topic just now, and though I have many times posted in it, I have never said much about me.

I'm complex.  I'm complicated.  We all are.  It is not easy being us.

Some of us have a rock-solid certainty of who we are, and where they are headed.  Others of us just stumble through life, day by day, hoping to keep one foot in front of the other.  I think I am in the latter group.  From time to time I get thrown off balance.

Right now, I'm trying to regain my equilibrium.  Bear with me.  I find reading in a quiet nook calms my troubled soul.  One of my favorite passages  comes from a poem entitled "Desiderata":

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.


I try to keep the peace.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Joann on August 16, 2012, 07:57:58 am
Just joined, this site is very inspirational. Without going into detail all the evidence suggests that I am psychologically androgynous or an androgyne, a term I learned from this site which I like a lot, and there is a link between this and over a decade of depression and I need to accept this. I am doing a few simple things to look not quite as masculine so I will feel comfortable with my appearance matching the way I feel and act again, really nothing drastic, and getting over terrible fears such as embarrassment that people will notice displays of femininity at times. While a heterosexual male, there are countless clues that I am psychologically an androgyne, and I actually don't have a choice about this if I want to be happy.
 I enjoy reading peoples' posts on here, it is very encouraging.
Welcome torn, :)
I identify as androgen too. I feel androgyny (for me ) is the blending of masculine and feminin traits to be a better, happier person. I can turn off the  gay, man, gender filters and live according to my feelings.
 If i like makeup, ill use it. Woman's close fit me better so i will ware them. i feel cleaner when i shave my body so i will. But i do these things not so much to impress others but for me. That's what feels good about androgyny (for me). :laugh:
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on September 09, 2012, 11:56:06 am
Still finding myself after about a year and a bit into my RLE am finding that the FtM route isn't totally for me.

Certainly a lot of other people looking for the route that is right for them. Other people completing their transition, but deciding the type of man/woman that they have become has strong elements of the other gender (that's OK too).
 
Welcome Spike. We don't take points off for spelling  :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on September 09, 2012, 12:41:24 pm
Spike/23/Biologicly Female and looking to change some of that part of me.

Still finding myself after about a year and a bit into my RLE am finding that the FtM route isn't totally for me.

So I found myself here I am Still learning all the terms and phraseas for who I am and how I feel

Also rather dyslexic so please bear with my spellings   

Yeah Hi ")

Welcome to our world, a spite on the binary world view that dictates that we identify internally and externally as either male or female for the sake of fitting into their perception of what makes up an acceptable comfort zone.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: stb820 on September 11, 2012, 12:43:49 pm
I'm DFaB, still comfortable with female pronouns for now, trans*, androgyn, non-binary, pansexual, <I don't understand> person. I'm 33 and have failed dramatically at being a girl all my life lol. Never really wanted to be a boy though until some fleeting thoughts in my late teens. I've gradually become more androgynous over the years even without realizing it. I want to be more masculine so I am pursing HRT. Part of me wonders and daydreams about committing to being FtM completely but for now I'm comfortable embracing the middle. I'm both terrified and ecstatic about changing my life and my body to be more ME.  :D
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on September 11, 2012, 01:48:31 pm
I'm DFaB, still comfortable with female pronouns for now, trans*, androgyn, non-binary, pansexual, <I don't understand> person. I'm 33 and have failed dramatically at being a girl all my life lol. Never really wanted to be a boy though until some fleeting thoughts in my late teens. I've gradually become more androgynous over the years even without realizing it. I want to be more masculine so I am pursing HRT. Part of me wonders and daydreams about committing to being FtM completely but for now I'm comfortable embracing the middle. I'm both terrified and ecstatic about changing my life and my body to be more ME.  :D

Welcome STB to the Androgyne forest.
 
Being here sure has helped me get much closer to my daydreams than I ever imagined. I hope it works for you to. There's nothing like finally being you.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on September 11, 2012, 02:49:38 pm
Welcome to the Unicorn Forest.  :)

Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on September 11, 2012, 03:58:19 pm
but for now I'm comfortable embracing the middle. I'm both terrified and ecstatic about changing my life and my body to be more ME.  :D

Welcome, you've come to the right place then, middle is more comfortable for many. You're free to flow back and forth where your own whims carry you from day to day.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on September 12, 2012, 04:17:07 am
Hi, welcome. I am still fairly new here myself but I can say everyone's been warm and welcoming to me so I'm sure you'll receive the same treatment ")

I hope you stick around, Spike, I'd like to get to know you.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on September 12, 2012, 07:53:42 am

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.



I like that, it is as I am always!

Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Chrys Alys on October 01, 2012, 05:04:09 am
Hello All

I am Chrys Alys. I chose this username because I feel like I am at a changing point in my life; thus chrysalis. I am married to a wonderful man, Curl, and have 3 wonderful dogs, Kisses, Cuddles, and the eldest, Harry! If you wish to please ask me about them! I have had a lot of difficulties during my life thus far. For starters, when I was young I was criticized constantly by my mother on things like breast size, dressing feminine or masculine, playing with boy toys, cutting my barbies, and not being naked in front of her. She would say things like, "Little bitty titty committee", and "It's okay, I gave birth to you so I've seen it all before."

Then, when I was 13, I had horrible headaches, which the doctors found to be caused by a tumor growing on my pituitary gland. I don't know if many of you know, but that is what controls most of the hormones in the human body. The tumor was cancerous and was growing rapidly when removed just a few days after the doctors found it. I was treated with a dose of chemo after it was removed and watched carefully for several months afterward. Thankfully it has not returned and I have not had much problems with that area inside my skull.

However, there were many aftereffects. Because the tumor had completely surrounded my pituitary gland, they had to remove it as well. My hormones then drastically left my system at an exponential rate. I felt drained and had many hallucinations and dreams. I do not think that my mind has ever been the same since the surgery. I had no hormones in my system, so I believe this is when my body and my mind first began to separate.

I did not completely hit puberty until I was 21. Then I was still way underdeveloped. I am now 28 and I feel lost. I have always wanted to give birth to a child or more, and I have found out that that my not ever happen. It pains me to my core, and even now while I am typing feel empty and cry. For this, and many other reasons, I am on anti-depressants.

I also feel like I am missing another part to me; my penis. I have a rather large vaginal mound(?) and feel that my penis should be there. Sometimes I subconsciously reach down to grab it, and realize seconds later that it is not there. I would like to find options on getting a surgically attached penis and HRT.

Lastly, because I am currently fighting SS for Disability, I have no income and no insurance, so I am having trouble finding a therapist. I have tried to talk to my current doctor about all of this but she doesn't seem to want to listen. I think it may be differences in faith, but any cause could be the answer. In any occasion, I am stuck to writing on forums such as this one for my release of tension and comfort. I hope all of you finding your way through this world, stuck in the body you are given through birth, find the best this place has to offer! Blessed Be!

Chrys
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on October 01, 2012, 07:59:33 am
Hi Chrys,
        The physical and mental conditions that you describe sound so much like a former friend who was born with AIS (Androgyne Insensitivity Syndrome) although your's is different in that you had a problem involving your pituitary gland which would be different causation with a similar result. So having known her, I can understand what you are going through and sympathize with you. I am assuming that you are predominantly physically female, but your inner being is screaming I'm a male, is that correct? If so, you have come to the right place, we welcome you dear Chrys Alys with open arms and hearts!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on October 01, 2012, 08:39:23 am
I have tried to talk to my current doctor about all of this but she doesn't seem to want to listen. I think it may be differences in faith, but any cause could be the answer.

Welcome to Susan's Chrys.
 
This situation is troubling. If your doctor is refusing to give you care you need to change doctors. The ACA forbids discrimination against <transgender> people, so what your doctor is doing is illegal.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: hazelspikes on October 07, 2012, 12:19:59 am
Hi I'm Hazel. You can read some of my intro on the home page below (cause repetition is a pain–oh and sorry for the length. Musing). Oh and he/she/him/her/it/they is fine as pronouns go.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,127913.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,127913.0.html)

So, my sister is MtF <transgender>, came out last year, and is transitioning well. The only reason that I'm bringing this up is because I'm afraid that people in real life will think "oh, Hazel's just doing this because she wants to be special like her younger sister." And while she peaked my interest in researching gender, I don't believe that I feel this way as a response to her.

I believe that I'm either androgyn or agender, which are a bit separated innit? I don't want to physically be male, but I don't enjoy the full effects of a female body either. I'd rather reduce my breasts or get full top surgery in addition to medical sterilization. I do like my curves and hourglass shape, but don't like my round face. The last bit I can't do much about without plastic surgery, breaking my face, or T.

Some days I just look in the mirror and don't see "woman/girl" or "man/boy." Something in between, or just me.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on October 07, 2012, 09:39:33 am
Hi Hazelspikes!
      Seems you've come to the right place, welcome to the family, you're not alone here!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: hazelspikes on October 07, 2012, 10:50:52 am
Well that's reassuring! Thanks for the welcomes. Well just wander around together eh? :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on October 07, 2012, 10:59:13 am
Well that's reassuring! Thanks for the welcomes. Well just wander around together eh? :)

You'll find that there are a lot of MtF's and FtM's that eventually come to the conclusion that full transition isn't what they really want and find that an androgynous expression and presentation is more fitting to their inner being as well as their lifestyle.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: kagenoir on October 29, 2012, 06:16:01 am
Hi guys, I'm Rhys, still pretty much a noob in this forum. Was pointed to this part of the forum so that I could interact with like-minded people. You can find my introduction here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,128939.msg1020409.html#new (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,128939.msg1020409.html#new) I'm a bit of a geek and can  a bit socially-awkward at times. Not really that relevant but I'm into anime books and videogames, if anyone's interested :D
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on October 29, 2012, 11:28:39 am
Hi guys, I'm Rhys, still pretty much a noob in this forum. Was pointed to this part of the forum so that I could interact with like-minded people. You can find my introduction here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,128939.msg1020409.html#new (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,128939.msg1020409.html#new) I'm a bit of a geek and can  a bit socially-awkward at times. Not really that relevant but I'm into anime books and videogames, if anyone's interested :D

Hi,
  Welcome to one gi-huge-ic family!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Taka on October 31, 2012, 04:39:47 am
welcome rhys!

if you by anime books mean manga, then that's cool. tell me your favorites?

a)so why don't you just call yourself bisexual or b)You're not gender queer, you're female, you just need to dress up/have a make-over or try to wear more girly things . Which is kind of frustrating. I can't seem to make them understand that no, being gender-queer does not automatically make me bisexual (not that there's anything wrong with being bisexual or anything) and that I'm really uncomfortable with some behaviour/clothing which society dubs as feminine.
"you should wear more girly clothes, show your boobs some" say all the girls who are mistakenly jealous of my more than decent bust size. i doubt they'd ever understand that i wear male clothes when i do because that's the only way i can relax a little that day. girly clothes are for girly days
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: kagenoir on October 31, 2012, 06:24:40 am
welcome rhys!

if you by anime books mean manga, then that's cool. tell me your favorites?
"you should wear more girly clothes, show your boobs some" say all the girls who are mistakenly jealous of my more than decent bust size. i doubt they'd ever understand that i wear male clothes when i do because that's the only way i can relax a little that day. girly clothes are for girly days

Oops. I meant anime, books... I forgot the comma :D But I do like manga. My favorites are a bit all-over the place but here are some of them: From Eroica with Love, Slam Dunk, Full Metal Alchemist, X (CLAMP) and Hellsing :D

Re: the boobs thing, since I do have noticeable er-- breasts, they often point out that I should show them more,and I end up cringing.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Padma on October 31, 2012, 06:46:33 am
It's funny (in a not-funny way) how often people who think they're encouraging you to be yourself are just encouraging you to be like them.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Taka on October 31, 2012, 07:38:20 am
It's funny (in a not-funny way) how often people who think they're encouraging you to be yourself are just encouraging you to be like them.
really "funny". mom tells me to be "natural", and at the same time insist that this means "cute girl who doesn't alter her looks". But to me it's more natural to have blue hair and red eyes. Though i don't wear red contacts since it freaks out conservative people a little too much. what i wear shouldn't matter too much, but apparently only girly clothes are good on a girl... even though clothes are totally unnatural.

Slam Dunk, Full Metal Alchemist, and Hellsing :D
these are good ones. haven't watched eroica yet, and probably never will, if i can't get any better internet at home
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on October 31, 2012, 07:57:50 am
really "funny". mom tells me to be "natural", and at the same time insist that this means "cute girl who doesn't alter her looks". But to me it's more natural to have blue hair and red eyes. Though i don't wear red contacts since it freaks out conservative people a little too much. what i wear shouldn't matter too much, but apparently only girly clothes are good on a girl... even though clothes are totally unnatural.


Right on Taka, be all of who you are, love the blue hair and so thick and nice too! I'd gladly wear blue hair if I just had more of it! lol
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Kaila on October 31, 2012, 08:25:03 am
Hi all, was browsing the various topics since I'm new and noticed this one about 'Androgyn' and naturally though 'what the heck' is that  :laugh: So read through many of the posts and started to figure it out.. then saw people referring to something named a Cogiati test.

So went and did it and got -75 and classed as Androgyn, figured I may as well post about it in this section then  :)

Anyone know what the negative means in the rating :/ ?

Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Kaila on October 31, 2012, 08:34:56 am
Oops. I meant anime, books... I forgot the comma :D But I do like manga. My favorites are a bit all-over the place but here are some of them: From Eroica with Love, Slam Dunk, Full Metal Alchemist, X (CLAMP) and Hellsing :D

Hey just noticed this post and I really like anime and video games too, been to Japan a couple times and the place is full of it lol. Personal favs are Hoop Days, Hajime no Ippo, Macross, S-cry-ed, Sailormoon, School Days LHX and plenty more I can't think of right now  :D. Nice to meet you
Title: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Padma on October 31, 2012, 08:57:07 am
I just started the Cogiati test (why not, eh?) but gave up after the second time it assumes all mtf's cross-dress en femme and wish to be femme.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: kagenoir on October 31, 2012, 08:58:34 am
Hey just noticed this post and I really like anime and video games too, been to Japan a couple times and the place is full of it lol. Personal favs are Hoop Days, Hajime no Ippo, Macross, S-cry-ed, Sailormoon, School Days LHX and plenty more I can't think of right now  :D. Nice to meet you
Cool. Another anime fan! If you don't mind me asking,since you play games and all,are you familiar with Persona 4?
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Kaila on October 31, 2012, 09:28:37 am
I just started the Cogiati test (why not, eh?) but gave up after the second time it assumes all mtf's cross-dress en femme and wish to be femme.

Ya I kinda got that impression from the line of questioning, a couple questions were N/A for me but it wouldn't let me finish without ticking at least one box..

@Kagenoir, yep I really like the concept of the Persona series and have the titles on my PS2 but never got around to playing (have waaay to many games and distractions) I've watched quite a few video's on youtube of the various bosses in number 4
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Taka on October 31, 2012, 03:13:40 pm
welcome kaila!
i think the cogiati test is one i've never taken. it starts with the classical math=male and voice recognition=female, and that totally turns me off. and that it's only directed at male bodied people.

suddenly realized i asked what anime others like, but didn't tell my own favorites... unfortunately i have a really bad internet connection, so watching anime hasn't been easy enough for me to bother trying. but i read lots of anime, and some of my favorites... kubera, tower of god, 1/2 prince, family compo (read the end in japanese, since it's not tl-ed yet), pumpkin scissors, level e, eat-man. and too many more. right now i'm about to read "irresponsible captain tylor", the light novel series, i can recommend the anime for people who don't read japanese. and after that will be full metal panic and baccano. time to get some real reading skills in this language....

Right on Taka, be all of who you are, love the blue hair and so thick and nice too! I'd gladly wear blue hair if I just had more of it! lol
i have enough to share. you've no idea how much i had to thin my hair just to make my head not look like a sheep. more than enough hair for all, but unfortunately it's not evenly distributed
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on October 31, 2012, 06:24:05 pm

i have enough to share. you've no idea how much i had to thin my hair just to make my head not look like a sheep. more than enough hair for all, but unfortunately it's not evenly distributed

Save me some clippings and I'll  put them and some potting soil on my little bald spot and pray it takes root!  :D
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: BlueSloth on October 31, 2012, 08:12:03 pm
So went and did it and got -75 and classed as Androgyn, figured I may as well post about it in this section then  :)

Anyone know what the negative means in the rating :/ ?
The negative side of the scale is male, and positive is female.  I think it goes all the way from -650 to 650, though, and the error margin has got to be a lot more than 75, so you're close enough to zero that the negative probably doesn't mean anything.

I just started the Cogiati test (why not, eh?) but gave up after the second time it assumes all mtf's cross-dress en femme and wish to be femme.
Yeah, it makes a lot of unstated assumptions about who's taking it.

I like the sage test (http://www.hemingways.org/GIDinfo/sage/) better.

really "funny". mom tells me to be "natural", and at the same time insist that this means "cute girl who doesn't alter her looks".
When I saw your picture I thought you were going the other way.  M to something...
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on October 31, 2012, 08:21:33 pm
Yeah, it makes a lot of unstated assumptions about who's taking it.

I like the sage test (http://www.hemingways.org/GIDinfo/sage/) better.

Please don't take the Sage or Cogiati any more seriously than you would take one of those quizzes in a women's magazine ("Are you a flirt? Take our ten question quiz and find out!"), There is simply zero scientific evidence that they can identify androgynes or transgender better than self-identification.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: BlueSloth on November 01, 2012, 02:19:23 am
Please don't take the Sage or Cogiati any more seriously than you would take one of those quizzes in a women's magazine
I think they're better, but that's not saying much.  Those silly quizzes have pretty much random results with me.

But you're right, I should have said something a bit stronger than "the error margin has got to be a lot more than 75".

Kaila:  I guess the important question is are you surprised by your cogiati score?
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Kaila on November 01, 2012, 04:48:31 am
I think they're better, but that's not saying much.  Those silly quizzes have pretty much random results with me.

But you're right, I should have said something a bit stronger than "the error margin has got to be a lot more than 75".

Kaila:  I guess the important question is are you surprised by your cogiati score?

No actually call me odd but it seems to fit just well lol. I do need to start googling the effects of these hormone tabs I'm on though and find out if they're perhaps pushing me a little closer into positive territory, not that I really mind tbh

Hmm 330 on that SAGE test, it seemed to have many similar questions to the other test albeit in a reworded and more suitable (for me personally) manner.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Taka on November 01, 2012, 06:56:46 am
When I saw your picture I thought you were going the other way.  M to something...
haha, that's funny. i knew my face was too masculine for a cute girl... the wonderful effect of not showing my entire body, and being too lazy to shape my eyebrows to pass better as a "normal" female.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Kaelin on November 01, 2012, 03:26:24 pm
Every time I look at these kinds of tests, I think "this question is so stereotypical" (but that's sort of how being "androgynous" plays out) or "my answer is not on here" or "I think this test will grossly misunderstand my answer" a bit too often.  Also, sage incorrectly pinned me as not gynephilic.  It scored around a -400, regarding me as looking "quite masculine" (a little bit of an overstatement but broadly true) but also being androgynous.  So, at least something came out legit.

I've sort of re-appeared in these forums recently-ish, so I'll introduce myself as an androgynous male who doesn't think that sometimes wearing a dress and heels for a desirable aesthetic makes someone a crossdresser.  Of course, society pumps us with all sort of silly roles and rules, gender-related and otherwise, that overcomplicate things (like clothes).

There's a more constructive side to the story, though.  It's good to find areas and groups of people where you can be who you are, and is a rather large amount of terrain where you can get away with most things just by going about your business.  But the catch is that the size of our "free" world may feel small (and rightly so), and Susan's is always good to come back to.  I'm maybe not conventional within the Androgyne board, but that's the closest thing to "trans" identity I've got, and this group has a pretty wide strike zone anyway, so I'm down with it.  So, I'm back-ish.  For now.

Pictures come later.  I had the cold/flu a while ago, and I'm still dealing with a nagging cough.  But I feel I'm at the point where I'm not exceedingly worried about damaging my employment ability, as any place that's too hung on my appearance would probably be a hellhole anyway.  So, that's a good feeling to have.

Anyway, hi.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on November 01, 2012, 04:30:15 pm
Every time I look at these kinds of tests, I think "this question is so stereotypical" (but that's sort of how being "androgynous" plays out) or "my answer is not on here"...

Any competent gender counselor or psychologist will tell you that those tests are actually meaningless and not to be construed as a trustworthy tool to determine GID proclivities.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Padma on November 01, 2012, 05:39:13 pm
I'm suddenly struck all over again by how 'androgyne' as a gender identity sometimes has to frame itself against, for example:

Woman/Man, where Woman/Man just = Presents/Behaves As Gender-Stereotypical Woman/Man

I'm not sure whether I'm going to be able to express this clearly, but here goes... I identify as androgyne, but not because I feel both male and female, or neither male nor female (or whatever many other colours there are in the forest-paintbox); I identify as androgyne because although I know I'm female (and that wants to express itself in my physiology, hence my gender transition), I don't have any desire to be, or behave like, or present like, a gender-stereotypical woman - not do I want to be, etc., like a gender-stereotypical man either.

Since we're largely stuck with the cultural definition of woman/man as being someone who's gender-stereotypical (a self-stoking 'norm'), this leaves me without the option of feeling comfortable with simply identifying as a woman. I am. It's just that the cultural norm sets me outside itself, and I don't want to be inside it on its terms.

So I have to hope that androgyne is a large enough, permeable enough umbrella to welcome me under it. So far, it seems to be. But I came up with the label Womandrogyne to indicate that I have a foot in both camps, and it feels ridiculous (culturally speaking) that I even felt the need for that. I'm pretty fed up with being asked "What are you?" by a world that's already decided for itself what I am not.

Blah drone, labels, labels, okay, I'm done now ::) :).
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on November 01, 2012, 06:40:58 pm
Padma, you germ free adolescent, you have eloquently and masterfully spoken for both of us! Thank you dear, sir, maam, sweetie!  ;D
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Padma on November 01, 2012, 06:58:40 pm
Padma, you germ free adolescent, you have eloquently and masterfully spoken for both of us! Thank you dear, sir, maam, sweetie!  ;D

Mistressfully, mistressfully ;). And no "sir", no siree!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Pica Pica on November 01, 2012, 07:09:08 pm
Padma, you germ free adolescent, you have eloquently and masterfully spoken for both of us! Thank you dear, sir, maam, sweetie!  ;D

The song is in my head, and I have to thank you.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Padma on November 01, 2012, 07:11:43 pm
Frequently in mine too. I once used 'germ free adolescent' as an obscure crossword clue to the word 'mule' (since at the time, I was under the impression that mules were sterile - which they may in fact be, but I can't be arsed to google it right now...)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Kaelin on November 01, 2012, 07:39:25 pm
Shantel: No worries -- I wasn't taking these tests seriously.  It's just disappointing that a test that's so icky is also so long.  A good fluff quiz runs around 20 questions, not 160. XD

Padma: I feel the same way (aside from not being TS and from being male, but that's not the thrust of your post).  What would be a suitable male counterpart to a "tomboy" anyway?  Anngirl?  Kategirl is alright, too, but it doesn't roll off the tongue the same way, where the first syllable rolls right into the second (just like tomboy does).
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Padma on November 01, 2012, 07:44:39 pm
What would be a suitable male counterpart to a "tomboy" anyway?  Anngirl?  Kategirl is alright, too, but it doesn't roll off the tongue the same way, where the first syllable rolls right into the second (just like tomboy does).

I don't think there's a standard equivalent. Of course, tomboy is meant as an at least mild insult/rebuke to girls. I know some women are uncomfortable with me reclaiming tomboy, because it was used as an insult to them. But others think it's great :).

Oh, this gets interesting: I was thinking about how toms are sexually active (as opposed to neutered) male cats - but then the technical terms for sexually active female cats (a molly, and then once they've had kittens they become a queen) are both historical terms for "effeminate" men (and for prostitutes before that). Hmm.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Kaelin on November 01, 2012, 08:04:44 pm
I think the history of tomboy being an insult is probably akin to "sissy."  For a variety of reasons, sissy doesn't have the same sort of potential to be reclaimed any time soon, so that's something worth avoiding.

Tomboy does present some problems for girls, although it also carries credibility.  Adopting a male counterpart not only helps provide a more dignified slang for androgynous men, but it also shows respect to the tomboy concept -- "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery."

The only reservation I have with anngirl right now is that the name is unfortunately attached to a Presidential candidate's wife.  However, if Obama wins re-election, "Ann" seems like a good name to use.  It is got a single syllable and rolls well with "girl," it is sort of old fashioned but still a sufficiently "normal" name (like Tom), and it's short enough that it's not particularly longer to write than its female counterpart.

It's an idea, anyway.

Cat-related edit: Wow, that's quite the history.  But then, "queen" is just... so wrong for these purposes.  I mean, being a tomboy involves defying norms, but it's with a purpose rather than doing it rather than for the sake of messing with stereotypes.  Molly seems to have to do more with drugs, so that name seems to have been derailed for unrelated reasons.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Padma on November 01, 2012, 08:11:04 pm
As far as traditionally-used girls' names go, there's also Nellie. The problem is that people can't seem to dissociate gender from sexuality in their minds, so all the words for less-masculine men are generally just ways of saying "he's gay and I don't approve." ::)

Tomboy doesn't have quite so much of an inevitable "she's a lesbian" about it, because people seem to assume it's "just a phase" in a way they don't with less-masculine men.

For some reason, whenever I think of androgyne, I think of the name Ariel - the spirit from Shakespeare's The Tempest, who in my mind is very androgynous.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on November 01, 2012, 09:12:05 pm
Mistressfully, mistressfully ;). And no "sir", no siree!

I knew that of course just being silly!
Title: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Padma on November 01, 2012, 09:18:32 pm
I know :).
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on November 01, 2012, 09:25:00 pm
I know :).

My sis is in London right now, if I was there you and I would have to visit your favorite pub and down a few pints my friend!
Title: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Padma on November 01, 2012, 09:26:36 pm
You wouldn't like me with a few pints in me - I know I don't :).
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on November 01, 2012, 09:32:09 pm
You wouldn't like me with a few pints in me - I know I don't :).

I have been known to have a Jekyll and Hyde personality after one too many!   :icon_drunk::icon_mrgreen:
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: eli77 on November 01, 2012, 09:34:46 pm
What would be a suitable male counterpart to a "tomboy" anyway?  Anngirl?  Kategirl is alright, too, but it doesn't roll off the tongue the same way, where the first syllable rolls right into the second (just like tomboy does).

Femboy is the best I've seen, personally. Though it carries expectations around age as well as presentation. But no expectations of sexuality, which is unusual. (Generally under-30, sometimes under-20.) And "pink boy" is even younger (pre-puberty, usually).

Molly (or mollygirl) is the actual original opposite to tomboy. Not many people know what that means though. And it did used to imply a gay male prostitute, so...

Meterosexual is sort of in that general field of "feminine guy," but it tends to be associated with hipster pretension and is sometimes used as an insult. Also implies hetero.

Queen is pretty exclusively for gay men. So is flamer. And femme is queer world only thing I think, though it goes across the gender divide.

And then there is a long list of insults: fairy, sissy, etc. etc.

After that you hit the standard non-binary stuff: androgyne, genderqueer, etc.

Sorry. There aren't a ton of current options.
Title: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Padma on November 02, 2012, 03:16:03 am
I like Femboy - hadn't heard it before. It doesn't make me think "young" any more than Fanboi does :). It does have (for me) connotations of youthfulness, which is something different.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Taka on November 02, 2012, 09:05:04 am
welcome back-ish kaelin

we actually did discuss both femboy and mollygirl before:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,32269.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,32269.0.html)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: hazelspikes on November 02, 2012, 09:57:12 am

Ya I kinda got that impression from the line of questioning, a couple questions were N/A for me but it wouldn't let me finish without ticking at least one box..

@Kagenoir, yep I really like the concept of the Persona series and have the titles on my PS2 but never got around to playing (have waaay to many games and distractions) I've watched quite a few video's on youtube of the various bosses in number 4

I love Persona 3, but Persona 4 is good too. It's like I want the art-style and the command system of Persona 4, but I prefer Persona 3's story. But the characters are awesome in both.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Kaelin on November 03, 2012, 12:25:29 am
I think I'm too... masculine for this "femboy" concept. :laugh:

Male androgyne it is!

Also, I haven't played any other games in the series, but I bought Persona 4 a little while ago (along with some other games).  I haven't gotten to it yet (cleared Disgaea 4 and Portal 2, but there were three other games I got), but it seemed promising, and I'll give it a chance once I find the time.

Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Padma on November 03, 2012, 04:05:54 am
we actually did discuss both femboy and mollygirl before:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,32269.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,32269.0.html)
Thanks for pointing me to that topic, I somehow missed it before now, and it's very germane.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shana A on November 03, 2012, 01:12:10 pm
Save me some clippings and I'll  put them and some potting soil on my little bald spot and pray it takes root!  :D

Let me know if that approach works and I'll try it too  :D

Otherwise, I'll keep wearing hats or scarves.

Z
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on November 03, 2012, 01:14:47 pm
Let me know if that approach works and I'll try it too  :D

Otherwise, I'll keep wearing hats or scarves.

Z

I'm on the same page Zythra!  ((hugs))
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: kagenoir on November 04, 2012, 03:57:38 am
I love Persona 3, but Persona 4 is good too. It's like I want the art-style and the command system of Persona 4, but I prefer Persona 3's story. But the characters are awesome in both.

The whole-evoker thing in Persona 3 was cool but I found the story rather dull.  I just could not like most of the P3 cast.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on November 04, 2012, 04:07:57 am
Save me some clippings and I'll  put them and some potting soil on my little bald spot and pray it takes root!  :D

(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Wum19Og76zo/S0w_DS85plI/AAAAAAAAAY4/hlyymFl_fxg/s400/chia+mrt.jpg)

Perhaps some chia seeds would work!  ;)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Nero on November 04, 2012, 07:10:26 am
I like Femboy - hadn't heard it before.

That's cause I made it up for the androgyne vs tomboy and femboy thread.  :laugh: Course, I'm sure someone somewhere has come up with it before.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: eli77 on November 04, 2012, 08:09:58 am
That's cause I made it up for the androgyne vs tomboy and femboy thread.  :laugh: Course, I'm sure someone somewhere has come up with it before.
Your thread predates the standing definition! You contributed to the English language! My hero. <3

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=femboy (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=femboy)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Padma on November 04, 2012, 08:19:08 am
Urbandictionary is an authority? Well hush ma mouth ;D.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: eli77 on November 04, 2012, 08:57:09 am
Urbandictionary is an authority? Well hush ma mouth ;D.

For slang? Pretty much.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: kayla-lyn on November 17, 2012, 07:10:45 am
         hi everyone
I have two sides to my gender one witch is a female witch is strong and conflicting with my my other side witch is is male and since I am 28 I find it hard to throw the life I have at this time to the side.  I have to let my sides have there own lives
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on November 17, 2012, 09:55:02 am
         hi everyone
I have two sides to my gender one witch is a female witch is strong and conflicting with my my other side witch is is male and since I am 28 I find it hard to throw the life I have at this time to the side.  I have to let my sides have there own lives

We can all relate, hi Kayla-lyn!  :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: concrete Building on December 18, 2012, 10:36:22 am
I know I just posted an Introduction thread, but I decided "why not here?"

Why am I here? Imma andro. In a nutshell, I never really got why people said alot of what they did, or why they acted the way they did, and never really thought much of it until a few years ago.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Anamnesis on December 18, 2012, 07:12:22 pm
Yeah, I've been so confused and freaked out looking at my various identities.  I reluctantly took a couple of online gender tests and both classified me as androgyne. I did some research (this was yesterday) and it really hit home for me, really resonated and I felt some weight lifted. I haven't found any help or resources where I live. I feel quite isolated and alone and want someone to talk to so I'm checking into this site in hopes of learning and relating to people who go through the same emotions and challenges.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on December 19, 2012, 03:24:52 am
I know I just posted an Introduction thread, but I decided "why not here?"

Why am I here? Imma andro. In a nutshell, I never really got why people said alot of what they did, or why they acted the way they did, and never really thought much of it until a few years ago.


CB - we're very easy-going on this board.  We like to hang, shoot the (you know what), and Shantel and I share guacamole recipes.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on December 19, 2012, 03:30:40 am
Yeah, I've been so confused and freaked out looking at my various identities.  I reluctantly took a couple of online gender tests and both classified me as androgyne. I did some research (this was yesterday) and it really hit home for me, really resonated and I felt some weight lifted. I haven't found any help or resources where I live. I feel quite isolated and alone and want someone to talk to so I'm checking into this site in hopes of learning and relating to people who go through the same emotions and challenges.

You will find some of our members here have many of those same feelings.  I am not so sure the so-called gender tests have a lot of validity, but they may help you focus of some aspects of your character.

I describe myself as "bi-gendered" or "non-binary."  Other members here just ignore all gender constructs as artificial.  It is really all about your experience, and what you make of it.

Feel free to interact with the other denizen of the "unicorn forest."
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: finalyfree on December 19, 2012, 09:13:51 pm
yum guacamole, hi all ,im a 40sumthng year old androgyne ,only found out bout that word 8 months ago luv it,i dont have any issues or problems love who and wot i am  jus dont know wot the heck to do with my life now
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Huggyrei on January 02, 2013, 05:55:29 pm
Hi all,

I am comfortable with my body, which is physically female, but I've always pretty indifferent about that. I've always thought of myself as just me; being female is like having blue eyes and brown hair, and treating me differently for it has always flummoxed me. There's been numerous times when people have tried to get me to do things "because they would make me feel more feminine", and I have occasionally remarked that dressing like a panda might also make me feel more like a panda, but is not a good reason for doing so. I suppose although I've always thought of myself as quite a masculine female, I also knew I wasn't a man, and I didn't think there was another option, so just stuck with it. mostly it's fine; when I'm with my friends, they treat me just as me, and i have both male and female friends and are the same person with either. Howeve, I continue to feel uncomfortable whenever someone tries to enforce gender roles and presentations on me, and i've particulaly noticed it at work, where people often used gender based banter between men and women, and it tends to leave me feeling very strange and uncomfortable and unable to join in.

I discovered the term Androgyne just a month or so ago, and it was like something clicked; I am not a woman (the word feels somehow wrong when applied to me), and nor am I a man. I am just me, possessing both traits that are stereotypically feminine and traits that are stereotypically masculine, but my sense of self is both and neither.

Still feeling my way through the forest. I might pause and build a treehouse-castle. With turrets. And a flying trapeze.

I definitely identify with being a geek! I like maths, fantasy and science-fiction, books, anime, and I play in RPGS, some tabletop but mostly theatre style LARPs, which i also write and run. Oh, and I sing and play instruments, study whatever new subject interests me this year, visit the occasional exotic clime, am learning aerial silks and flying trapeze, and generally like to keep pretty busy :)

Rei
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on January 02, 2013, 07:10:39 pm
Hi Rei,
     I totally get you on you're thinking, you're sure not lone. So welcome, you came to the right place and happy New Year to you!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Psychomech on January 12, 2013, 02:56:49 am
Hey, I'm Codee.

I'm... well, mostly confused and depressed. I've figured myself for an androgyne for years but it seems lately it's kicking my ass. I feel like I'm always being really vain. I'd prefer to wear men's clothes but they don't look good on a female body and it doesn't feel nice to know you don't look good. However, I can't bear to wear particularly feminine clothing, either. I often feel like I'd be more comfortable having been born a guy, but I somehow don't like being perceived as a man, either. I just wanna be comfortable, y'know?

Overall though, I feel pretty gender neutral. And I'm usually a bit more cheerful! Nice to meet you guys.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on January 12, 2013, 09:57:09 am
Hey, I'm Codee.

I'm... well, mostly confused and depressed. I've figured myself for an androgyne for years but it seems lately it's kicking my ass. I feel like I'm always being really vain. I'd prefer to wear men's clothes but they don't look good on a female body and it doesn't feel nice to know you don't look good. However, I can't bear to wear particularly feminine clothing, either. I often feel like I'd be more comfortable having been born a guy, but I somehow don't like being perceived as a man, either. I just wanna be comfortable, y'know?

Overall though, I feel pretty gender neutral. And I'm usually a bit more cheerful! Nice to meet you guys.

Hey Codee,
      A big welcome, you have come to the right place and you're certainly not alone!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on January 12, 2013, 11:30:31 am
Hi there, Codee, and welcome.

Please be sure to review


On a personal level, I have found that "unisex" clothing works best for me, like jeans and brightly colored shirts.  I love Hawaiian shirts - the bolder the better.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on January 12, 2013, 04:04:08 pm
I just wanna be comfortable, y'know?
Nice to meet you guys.
Nice to meet you also.
Check through some of the threads/topics that deal with presentation.
There is a lot of very good advice from people around here.
What I get from most of it, since I'm no fashion expert, is that comfortable is a priority.
Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on January 12, 2013, 05:33:07 pm
Hi Ativan!
     There's my favorite avatar again!  :eusa_clap:
 
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on January 12, 2013, 05:56:13 pm
 :laugh:... ;)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: eli77 on January 13, 2013, 02:55:13 am
On a personal level, I have found that "unisex" clothing works best for me, like jeans and brightly colored shirts.  I love Hawaiian shirts - the bolder the better.

*throws up a little*

I mean... Fascinating fashion choice there, Jamie.

Overall though, I feel pretty gender neutral. And I'm usually a bit more cheerful! Nice to meet you guys.

Hellos Codee, I'm pretty gender agnostic myself. Nice to meet you too.

Note: Hawaiian shirts are highly optional. Possibly even discouraged.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Nero on January 13, 2013, 03:12:55 am
Hey, I'm Codee.

I'm... well, mostly confused and depressed. I've figured myself for an androgyne for years but it seems lately it's kicking my ass. I feel like I'm always being really vain. I'd prefer to wear men's clothes but they don't look good on a female body and it doesn't feel nice to know you don't look good. However, I can't bear to wear particularly feminine clothing, either. I often feel like I'd be more comfortable having been born a guy, but I somehow don't like being perceived as a man, either. I just wanna be comfortable, y'know?

Overall though, I feel pretty gender neutral. And I'm usually a bit more cheerful! Nice to meet you guys.

Welcome Codee.

What about men's clothes doesn't look good on you? I'm sure we can find a way around it.


Note: Hawaiian shirts are highly optional. Possibly even discouraged.

Oh I don't know. Bet a nice Hawaiian shirt would go nicely with this gut of mine.  :laugh:
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Kaelin on January 13, 2013, 01:54:04 pm
You're not fat.... you're fluffy.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on January 17, 2013, 03:55:15 am
*throws up a little*

I mean... Fascinating fashion choice there, Jamie.

Hellos Codee, I'm pretty gender agnostic myself. Nice to meet you too.

Note: Hawaiian shirts are highly optional. Possibly even discouraged.

Dearest Sarah,

I am afraid to say you are sadly confused.  Hawaiian shirts are the very acme of fashion taste.  Just look!

(http://images.squishwear.com/rednoumea.jpg)(http://www.highsnobiety.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/stussy-hawaiian-shirts-springsummer-2012-4.jpeg)(http://hawaiishirtcompany.com/images/products/thumb/temp/102c-yp-royal.jpg)

(http://www.alohashirtshop.com/images/ecomm/products/full/rjc-hawaiian-whales.jpg)(http://historypreservation.com/hpassociates/images/hawaiian_shirt_pineapplesm1.jpg)(http://hawaiishirtcompany.com/images/products/thumb/w415s-275-pink.jpg)

And just about anybody can wear them!

(http://babylonvintage.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/elvis_blue_hawaii.jpg)(http://i01.i.aliimg.com/img/pb/022/965/365/365965022_016.jpg)(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wUlcDNEJ4XM/Tq0Szsu8UKI/AAAAAAAAATg/TY1igj0klWM/s320/magnum-pi.jpg)(http://www.wolfgnards.com/media/blogs/photos/celebrities/chunk-hawaiian-shirt.jpg)(http://donglutsdinosaurs.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Hawaiian-Dino-Shirt4-679x1000.jpg)

I really should put this post in the Androgyn Style Forum!   ;)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on January 17, 2013, 04:13:34 am
yum guacamole, hi all ,im a 40sumthng year old androgyne ,only found out bout that word 8 months ago luv it,i dont have any issues or problems love who and wot i am  jus dont know wot the heck to do with my life now

Shantel and I will teach you the secret handshake for the Susan's Place Guacamole Fan Club!

I think what you will find is that everybody's journey through life is as unique as each and every one of us is.  Becoming comfortable with ourselves is the most important step, in my opinion.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on January 17, 2013, 08:53:14 am
Shantel and I will teach you the secret handshake for the Susan's Place Guacamole Fan Club!

I think what you will find is that everybody's journey through life is as unique as each and every one of us is.  Becoming comfortable with ourselves is the most important step, in my opinion.

That's the absolute bottom line and it often takes a lot of soul searching and introspection, the learning process is often a bit stressful, there are occasional concessions made. In my experience I liken it to living in a neighborhood of very wealthy people on a very modest income where not everything I would wish for is affordable or even accessible and learning to be comfortable and at peace with what I do have. It's interesting to note that some who have everything are still never satisfied, this of course applies to the level of our transition that we decide is sufficient for our own needs.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Petra on January 17, 2013, 05:56:57 pm
Hi, I'm Erika! I'm super-confused and am therefore going to ramble for a bit. Um, sorry.


This is how I feel about my sex: I'm female, and I'm perfectly content with that, and have no problem being recognized as such. On the other hand, I don't find anything objectionable about the idea of being male. (At the risk of TMI, a couple of nights ago I dreamt that I was turned into a man, and my dream-reaction went something like: "Huh, interesting" and "Oh hey now I can find out what it feels like to jerk off with a <penis>! For science!" At no point did I feel "wrong," nor did I feel any overwhelming compulsion to switch back. When I woke up, I figured that reaction seemed about what I'd expect from myself.) Biological sex doesn't feel like anything that dictates my identity; I regard it about as indicative of who I am as a person as the color of my hair. It's just a thing. Whatever. If society wasn't so wackadoodle about gender, I would probably find my biological sex literally meaningless.

This is how I feel (felt?) about gender: it's a social construct and I fail to see how anyone could think that one's disposition or aesthetic leanings or whatever have any relationship to one's genitals. Like, I resent the whole notion of gender. It feels like an arbitrary, patriarchal binary to me; I don't find it particularly relevant to me personally, so it just reads like a plan to subjugate women instead. Part of that perception probably comes from the fact that "feminine" traits are less valued by society, but at the end of the day, I've mostly always felt that my physical sex has little to no bearing on my sense of self, except perhaps things that were too strongly socialized.

This is my history with gender, at least as far as I can piece it together: There are these pictures of me, age 1, drifting from the back door into the kitchen, and I'm wearing my dad's coat (like, a spring coat, not like a suit jacket) and tie, and I'm carrying his keys. I'm pretty obviously acting out my dad's exact "home from work" routine; those pictures are some of my favorites. I didn't really do anything similar with my mom's clothes. I threw some pretty spectacular fits when my mom tried to make me wear dresses to church. I think I eventually had to be bribed into them most of the time, but I remember one fit in particular, just screaming my lungs out and bawling as I stood in front of the full-length mirror in the hallway wearing a dress, feeling irrationally upset about what I was looking at. Eventually she learned about dress pants, and I remember the palpable feeling of relief when I was allowed to start wearing them.

If I got to lunch late in elementary school sometimes, I had to sit at the boys' table. I was horrified (cooties or something!) until I realized that I fit in, which mostly meant enjoying the experience privately but admitting nothing. Fourth and fifth grade was my hardcore tomboy stage; I started refusing to shop for clothes in the girls' section (well, shirts, at least; jeans were jeans) and played a lot of basketball, which was dumb, because I'm literally in the first percentile of height for females and I have always played and been better at other sports (softball, soccer, tennis). (This was when Michael Jordan + the Bulls hype was at its peak; needless to say, I had a lot of Bulls shirts. And a Michael Jordan jersey!) Oh and I got a skateboard! I wore baseball caps backwards and sideways. The late '90s were great.

If I played any kind of game where I could make up a name, I pretty much always went for "Alex"; I was really big on the idea of unisex names. One weekend I stayed at a friend's house and convinced her to play a game where we pretended we were boys. Mostly we rode around on our bikes a lot, but we also played tackle football with some of the boys down the street. The parents were all weird about us participating, and I remember being like, "uh, I'm wearing a helmet; I'll be fine, and also this is awesome!" Nail polish and makeup have always skeeved me out, as have noticeably high-heeled shoes and, as previously alluded to, dresses and skirts. I resisted wearing a bra for as long as I could because they creeped me out, and then pretty much only wore sports bras until high school. I tried to shove all my stuff (credit card, cash money $$, ID, keys, chapstick, etc.) in my tiny girl-jeans pockets whenever I went out until, like, halfway through college, when I realized my aversion to purses didn't extend to cross-body bags. My friends are mostly guys, and though that wasn't always the case, it has been since I graduated high school.

Some of that probably means something. Some of it maybe doesn't. I don't know.

This is why I think I might be androgyne: I've always been kind of boggled by gender. I don't feel "feminine," although I certainly have some traits that would be called feminine, and while I often joke that I'm totally a dude on the inside, I wouldn't describe myself as "masculine," either. I frame the way I feel as: I just feel like a person. No gendered baggage necessary. So my instinct has always been that gender is 98-100% social construct, but that doesn't reconcile at all with you know, the existence of <transgender> people. Plus, things like the John/Joan case provide pretty strong evidence that gender isn't necessarily entirely a social construct. I've been rationalizing this by assuming that the socialization of the concept of gender is just much more insidious than most people realize, and I, I don't know, through some combination of nature and nurture, managed to evade that socialization, along with any suggestions from society that a personality like mine also requires a <penis>.

It's occurred to me, of course, that maybe I'm framing the situation the wrong way: it's not that gender doesn't exist, it's just that it doesn't exist as a binary, but along a spectrum. I've dismissed that in the past, though, maybe because the information I found was wrong or incomplete; I couldn't 100% relate to any definition I found of "genderqueer," because I present pretty obviously female (if tomboyish; or, as one of my students put it last year, "sporty"), and I really don't have a problem with that. Like, I have pretty much no desire to screw with my presentation, and I don't feel like a guy deep down, and I don't feel like sometimes I'm a guy and sometimes a girl, and I don't feel like I'm necessarily part one thing and part another, but I do feel pretty muddled. But maybe, though, it's not just "society" making me feel that way, and it really is my brain that's weird? I think that maybe makes more logical sense (although society is not entirely off the hook, not by a long shot), but...I don't know. I don't feel like I fit in any neat box. I don't feel like I fit into any, like, messy box, either. But the other day I stumbled across some articles about androgyne identity and I thought...okay, maybe. Fits better than anything else I've found.

Does any of this sound familiar? Relatable? Or is it just like...hey maybe you should stop thinking so hard about this; you're obviously confusing yourself?


tl;dr: Hi! Gender kind of baffles me. It's all like...what?  I think I may also have an abnormally flexible perspective re: biological sex? I might be an androgyne, or maybe I'm just weird. I don't know, because I remain honestly mystified by gender!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on January 17, 2013, 06:28:39 pm
Erika, welcome!  Thank you for your thoughts on gender.  I find the subject fascinating, and I enjoy reading a well-written discussion.

Though I was born male-bodied, I do relate to some of the issues you brought up.  I'd like to ruminate over you post some more.

In the meantime, doing my mod thing ...

Please be sure to review


Glad to have you aboard!!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Pica Pica on January 17, 2013, 06:31:34 pm
Hi! Gender kind of baffles me. It's all like...what? 

I've always used that as a key to diagnosing an androgyne.

I frame the way I feel as: I just feel like a person. No gendered baggage necessary.

Same.

-True, there are lots of different ways to be an androgyne and to come to it, but you sound a classic example to me.
Even of you aint, you're always welcome.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: eli77 on January 17, 2013, 07:07:45 pm
Dearest Sarah,

I am afraid to say you are sadly confused.  Hawaiian shirts are the very acme of fashion taste.  Just look!

And just about anybody can wear them!

Yes. I'm looking. With horror.

And just because anyone can wear them doesn't mean they should.

Does any of this sound familiar? Relatable? Or is it just like...hey maybe you should stop thinking so hard about this; you're obviously confusing yourself?

Yes. I tend to think the majority of gender is just society screwing with us, and/or my brain is weird and is missing a gender identity. I'm also transsexual. Which is an interesting combination.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Petra on January 18, 2013, 12:00:04 am
Thanks, all!  :)

Frankly, I'm just glad that anything in that wall of text managed to be coherent.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Huggyrei on January 18, 2013, 01:50:43 am
Hi Petra!

I'm also pretty new here, and so far enjoying myself. Some of what you say resonates with me; I don't mind being female, I just don't see what that has to do with who I am and how I should be treated. A lot of my screaming matches with my Mum throughout teeangerhood involoved her telling me to act more feminine, and I was never very happy with the idea. I always hung around with the geeks raher than worrying about what gender anyone was. I suppose that's what surprises me, actually; I've always thought like you, that gender is a social construct - yet when someone tries to force me into a very feminine box, it feels wrong and I object. I suppose that means I must have some sort of sense of it after all, and only notice it when I run into one of the edges?
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on January 18, 2013, 02:48:51 am
Yes. I'm looking. With horror.

And just because anyone can wear them doesn't mean they should.


Horror?!  Oy Vey.

Hawaiian shirts bring happiness to all.   :D
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on January 18, 2013, 07:39:41 am
Horror?!  Oy Vey.

Hawaiian shirts bring happiness to all.   :D

Just for the record I have five different Hawaii shirts I'm wearing one in my Flickr thread if you don't focus on the bra you can actually see it. They are big, cool and breezy on hot days and not necessarily gender specific. In your face to Hawaii shirt haters! (sticks tongue out) ;D
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Petra on January 18, 2013, 05:45:54 pm
I don't mind being female, I just don't see what that has to do with who I am and how I should be treated.

Yesyesyes, this is like exactly how I feel!

Actually I relate to pretty much everything you just said, except basically the only thing my mom ever did by way of trying to thrust femininity upon me was attempt to strong-arm me into dresses for church as a kid.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on January 18, 2013, 06:25:55 pm
Hi Petra!

I'm also pretty new here, and so far enjoying myself. Some of what you say resonates with me; I don't mind being female, I just don't see what that has to do with who I am and how I should be treated. A lot of my screaming matches with my Mum throughout teeangerhood involoved her telling me to act more feminine, and I was never very happy with the idea. I always hung around with the geeks raher than worrying about what gender anyone was. I suppose that's what surprises me, actually; I've always thought like you, that gender is a social construct - yet when someone tries to force me into a very feminine box, it feels wrong and I object. I suppose that means I must have some sort of sense of it after all, and only notice it when I run into one of the edges?

Yes it is and you are right on! I don't care for boxes either that's why I post as androgyne. And I don't care how the box lovers want to clock me either for that matter, I get asked all the time by nosy people, "Are you MtF or FtM?" My response is "Whatever blows your hair back!"
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: omdorastrix on January 31, 2013, 10:19:20 pm
So.  Hi - I've bounced off this board in research several times and decided to come by, seeing again, thankfully that it's an active board and not that there's a random comment hanging out there from several years ago...

I was born male and I've identified as androgyne for over a year now and have been fairly closeted with my partners.  I crossed, before I self-identified and once in public, and I've done some private stints en-femme to kind of prove to myself that if I can get that far i can figure out how to get halfway...
 
I'm not exactly sure yet what it means to me to be Androgyne,  I know I have some strong expressions of stereotypically feminine traits.  I've been socialized as male for 30 years so I feel it's going to be hard to recode my programming.

I'm also a geek/IT person.

I had a really low point emotionally last night and decided today that I think I need to find people to talk to.  So..

Hello strange people who are apparently a lot like me...
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: soulfairer on February 01, 2013, 12:07:03 am
So.  Hi - I've bounced off this board in research several times and decided to come by, seeing again, thankfully that it's an active board and not that there's a random comment hanging out there from several years ago...

I was born male and I've identified as androgyne for over a year now and have been fairly closeted with my partners.  I crossed, before I self-identified and once in public, and I've done some private stints en-femme to kind of prove to myself that if I can get that far i can figure out how to get halfway...
 
I'm not exactly sure yet what it means to me to be Androgyne,  I know I have some strong expressions of stereotypically feminine traits.  I've been socialized as male for 30 years so I feel it's going to be hard to recode my programming.

I'm also a geek/IT person.

I had a really low point emotionally last night and decided today that I think I need to find people to talk to.  So..

Hello strange people who are apparently a lot like me...

Hi, we're here. I am also male assigned at birth and *32*. So I think we can relate to each other the experiences & the feelings. And a geek/IT person, too, and I love games (but I decided not to game until some time because it's addictive for me).

I've decided to switch to female, but stay androgyne. Something like MtFtA, and it really suits me because I am somewhat female inside (or 'not male', there's not a precise definition) but really love androgyny. I also decided to change my name, a decision that really is hard given that I like androgyny, and some people just wonder "wow, if you're not going to be a barbie, why are you changing your name?" but in this case they simply don't grasp the meaning of "being" female to the binary society.

Welcome to the forest!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on February 01, 2013, 01:48:00 am
So.  Hi - I've bounced off this board in research several times and decided to come by, seeing again, thankfully that it's an active board and not that there's a random comment hanging out there from several years ago...

I was born male and I've identified as androgyne for over a year now and have been fairly closeted with my partners.  I crossed, before I self-identified and once in public, and I've done some private stints en-femme to kind of prove to myself that if I can get that far i can figure out how to get halfway...
 
I'm not exactly sure yet what it means to me to be Androgyne,  I know I have some strong expressions of stereotypically feminine traits.  I've been socialized as male for 30 years so I feel it's going to be hard to recode my programming.

I'm also a geek/IT person.

I had a really low point emotionally last night and decided today that I think I need to find people to talk to.  So..

Hello strange people who are apparently a lot like me...

Yes, we come in all shapes, colors,genders, and identities.  Welcome!

For new members, please be sure to review

Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: omdorastrix on February 01, 2013, 09:41:46 pm
Hi, we're here. I am also male assigned at birth and *32*. So I think we can relate to each other the experiences & the feelings. And a geek/IT person, too, and I love games (but I decided not to game until some time because it's addictive for me).

I've decided to switch to female, but stay androgyne. Something like MtFtA, and it really suits me because I am somewhat female inside (or 'not male', there's not a precise definition) but really love androgyny. I also decided to change my name, a decision that really is hard given that I like androgyny, and some people just wonder "wow, if you're not going to be a barbie, why are you changing your name?" but in this case they simply don't grasp the meaning of "being" female to the binary society.

Welcome to the forest!

Thanks,

I was expecting a positive and supportive response (having lurked a few times), but nothing as close to getting a look in a mirror as this..

I've questioned myself, how, socially/physically/etc, to introduce feminine cues to offset my 'maleness' and arrive at a more andro presentation to match my identity.  And whether it'd be more socially acceptable, or easier socially, to transition, go MtF like you have said and simply retain some attachment to my 'former' gender.  That's part of the whole bundle of emotions and insecurities that got me the other night.  Today, today is a much better day...   :)

I might PM you as soon as I can get over myself and figure out how to start a conversation without starting it in "too close to personal"-town.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on February 02, 2013, 02:10:39 am
Just as a heads up, you will need 15 posts before the personal messaging utility turns on for you.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: soulfairer on February 04, 2013, 12:04:36 am
Thanks,

I was expecting a positive and supportive response (having lurked a few times), but nothing as close to getting a look in a mirror as this..

I've questioned myself, how, socially/physically/etc, to introduce feminine cues to offset my 'maleness' and arrive at a more andro presentation to match my identity.  And whether it'd be more socially acceptable, or easier socially, to transition, go MtF like you have said and simply retain some attachment to my 'former' gender.  That's part of the whole bundle of emotions and insecurities that got me the other night.  Today, today is a much better day...   :)

I might PM you as soon as I can get over myself and figure out how to start a conversation without starting it in "too close to personal"-town.

Hi! But well, we're nerds (hah! but I nowadays love clothing :) ). Probably if you already is 'femaler', you already do a lot of things towards a more andro presentation, just pay some attention. I spoke to some people about that and they all said that I always behaved in a more feminine way, people simply didn't perceive that before being questioned (neither did I). In that regard, if your identity is more androgynous, so your behavior may already be. In some times I realize/concur that we are "obliged" to concede some as people don't mock us, for example. But I just don't fear being called a 'femme' or 'sissy' nowadays, it just doesn't hurt me as I am detached from those social obligations :D

I painfully (okay, not so painfully, but it was hard) decided to transition before, as my "binary" desire is to be recognized as female. If I could stay as androgynous or be recognized as such by people, perhaps I'd just stay in the forest. Now I just need to cross the river and come back to the forest!

Read our stories. We have a lot of them! When I first came, I read many, many topics before even registering myself. For possibly a year. But here I am, and I don't regret. We just can share a lot here and find people we relate to. I for one always welcome the nerds! :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on February 05, 2013, 06:32:54 pm
Hello strange people who are apparently a lot like me...
Welcome to the forest.
Title: `
Post by: wren-bird on February 10, 2013, 12:17:47 am
I'm Wren.
I am 28 years, I have a son, and a husband, and I'm autistic. I like to write, and like to read even more. I am a Sherlock BBC fan. I also like to cosplay, as both males and females.
For years I wondered if I was transgender, but wasn't sure since I don't feel like I fit into the traditional masculine role, if I were physically a boy I would be considered a sissy, but I don't feel feminine either. When I dress up as a girl it feels just like that; Dressing up. My body is not right either way, my chest too large, my hips too wide, my bits not in the right configuration, then today I discovered the concept of being androgyn and realized exactly where I belong and that I wasn't alone or a freak. 
Physically I would rather have (mostly) masculine bits and be viewed as a boy, but aside from my body I don't actually feel like a male or a female. My masculine ideal would actually be more like a Korean drama  pretty boy instead of the traditional tall, broad shouldered man with the chiseled jaw. Not that I am Korean, just that I like the physical appearance.
As for pronouns, pretty much anything is ok, preferred "he", but I would even accept "it" since I don't really see it as derogatory.
SO. That's me in a nutshell.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Sevan on February 10, 2013, 12:43:37 am
Hi Wren

Welcome! Sounds so much like me early on. Quite a bit. Sounds like you've found the right place. :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: V M on February 10, 2013, 01:53:10 am
Hi Wren  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's  :)  Glad to have you here

Please be sure to review


Hugs

V M
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on February 10, 2013, 09:20:30 am
Hi Wren,
      Welcome to the gang, you are now an official member! Feel free to post your thoughts, dreams, plans and schemes, you're in good company here!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Padma on February 10, 2013, 05:36:21 pm
Hi and welcome, Wren!

(http://www.yoxi.net/anitya/wren.jpg)

(as you can see from my tag, wrens are special to me)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Android on February 11, 2013, 07:20:48 pm
Now I've read all your introductions, I suppose it is time to post my own...

Hello everyone.
My name will be Sky, eventually.
Today I am 24 years old. I was born a female, lived through my earliest childhood wondering why I couldn't choose between playing in the boys' or the girls' team during recess, chose for playing with the boys when I got a few years older -- until puberty hit me and I figured I should adapt myself to my new physical presence, with the boobs and all.
It felt as if I were cosplaying all those years, and frankly, I never really minded that because I can enjoy a good dress-up party like any other.
During that time, when I looked into the mirror, I saw a boy in drag. And I loved it. But every time people referred to me as  "she" and "her", I died a little on the inside.

Deep down I have always known I should have been born a boy, though since I started to consider transitioning I more and more realized that I have always been androgynous. It's just that I should have been a male bodied androgyne; I finally realize that now, and it took me a hell of a while to find out.

Now I know this, I am struggling with myself about how to deal with this. For I am a hypocrite. 
I'm pansexual and like to see myself as gender-blind. Gender-based prejudices and sexism anger me to a point where I could kill someone.
The whole concept of gender alone just makes me sick. In my Utopia we would all just be humans. People. Persons. No emphasis on our hormones and private parts.
I've read it before in others' introductions -- Why is everything labeled to be for a specific gender? Clothes, to me, are just a piece of fabric to protect our flesh. Colours are something to beautify our world with. And a job is something anyone with the right skills can do, regardless of gender.

But still. I worry about my own gender. I resent to be perceived as female.
My feelings and beliefs are conflicting.
I wish I could be as gender-blind regarding myself as I am regarding to others.

Anyways, enough with the frustrations. Let's start over.

I'm Sky, a 24 year old rock singer from the Netherlands.
I am a borderline diagnosed vampire, who spends his days sleeping and his nights making music, playing video games, watching movies and drawing. One day I hope to publish an action packed manga.
Also, I want to learn Italian, but it isn't working out too well.

It would be fun to get to know you, yet I am not sure if I'm gonna post much. Fora scare me.

-Sky

Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on February 11, 2013, 08:40:45 pm
Hi Sky, don't worry you're cool here!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: URse on February 19, 2013, 02:18:53 pm
Hello there everyone,

My name is Urse and I am going to be 22 in May. I came here because over the past couple of weeks I found myself pondering the ideas of gender and what role I had in society, since I never really felt like a girl except when I was in 3rd grade. As I grew older I found myself questioning my sexuality and came to the conclusion that I wasn't a lesbian. In Junior High School I was frequently called a lesbian and some people would even call me gay, even though genetically it was impossible for me to be gay.  I remember feeling the most hurt from those times and another time, in which I was going to a Private School and hadn't been able to get the female uniform, so on one particular day. I dressed like the guys and immediately I was called a lesbian by the men there. When I did get my female uniform, I felt shunned by the girls at my school. I am not sure if this effected me in someway or not, but I remember a time where I once saw my cousin and myself in a picture. Immediately I thought of myself as looking like an unattractive man, but not a beautiful woman.

My curiosity peeked much later when my Mother called me 'a beautiful woman' on several occasions this past month, the only thing I could think of was that I was a beautiful man but not a woman. This raised more questions for me and I began questioning whether or not I was trans. I knew I didn't want to change my biology, but at the same time in dresses and skirts I felt like an man. I started to think that it would be easier to live in the world as a man. But my hobbies and interests also made me question if I could do that. I love cooking, drawing, painting, planting, talking to birds, butterfly watching even. All these interests people would call feminine but I don't enjoy many of the hobbies that women are usually associated with such as gossip, shopping, hanging out with their girl friends, slumber parties etc... These questions led me more and more to ponder where my place in society was and through searching I began to research about androgyny and I was led here.

Biologically I don't want to change myself, but mentally I feel out of synch and yet not completely. I thought that maybe I was just a normal woman who had issues with my appearance. Yet the idea of living like a woman no longer appeals to me, it feels as though I would be be lying to myself if I became the stereotypical woman. Especially since I feel as though I've tried all my life to fit the ideal image of a woman. I want to make peace with myself and all these feelings I have accumulated over the years, and tell myself that these emotions are normal, but I don't know if they are or where to go to talk about these feelings. Especially since, in someway and I don't want to offend anyone, but I feel ashamed of being neither male or female, but at the same time. I feel as though by accepting this part of me, I won't be ashamed of being something that is normal. So I am here and hope to learn a great deal from my elders. I hope you do not mind that I call those of you here 'elders' It is out of respect, though perhaps the term 'teachers' sounds more appealing. In conclusion, I am still very new to all of this and want to learn more. So for those of you who read this, thank you. :3
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: soulfairer on February 19, 2013, 02:54:43 pm
Biologically I don't want to change myself, but mentally I feel out of synch and yet not completely. I thought that maybe I was just a normal woman who had issues with my appearance. Yet the idea of living like a woman no longer appeals to me, it feels as though I would be be lying to myself if I became the stereotypical woman. Especially since I feel as though I've tried all my life to fit the ideal image of a woman. I want to make peace with myself and all these feelings I have accumulated over the years, and tell myself that these emotions are normal, but I don't know if they are or where to go to talk about these feelings. Especially since, in someway and I don't want to offend anyone, but I feel ashamed of being neither male or female, but at the same time. I feel as though by accepting this part of me, I won't be ashamed of being something that is normal. So I am here and hope to learn a great deal from my elders. I hope you do not mind that I call those of you here 'elders' It is out of respect, though perhaps the term 'teachers' sounds more appealing. In conclusion, I am still very new to all of this and want to learn more. So for those of you who read this, thank you. :3

Hi, URse, I am in some ways something like that. At school, many people bullied me (though I am not certain why) and the issues with appearance were common to me, but I didn't realize I wanted to be 'female-looking'. As much as I like shopping, I don't like gossiping and wearing too feminine clothes - I'm just something in between.

My issues weren't classified as gender-related by me until 27, but many of them certainly are, even if they mean minor traits that, summed, will result in at least a strong clue. I don't feel like wearing dresses and skirts (though in the future it may change), nor wearing makeup eeeveryday. I just do it when I see fit.

About being male or female: I'm just something like that. I appreciate many male aspects for me (I'm MAAB) and I also appreciate many female aspects. So as male and female are social constructs, when we have enough aspects from both "sexes", how are we supposed to react? How am I supposed to feel if both male and female or neither are options to me? My own decision was: I am MAAB, but will change my gender presentation to female, even if an androgynous one.

I fortunately know some non-stereotypical males and females. They are settled with their gender construct, but they also aren't that stereotypical. Some men wear makeup, some women wear male jackets and I know people from both genders that look androgynous.

There are no elders of teachers here, we're just sharing our perspectives :) As everyone is an entire and unique universe, it may happen that we connect in a tortuous way, but we shall always remember that we are diverse in many aspects, more than commonly found, because we just share our innards. And in them there are all the subtleties that make us rich. AFAIK, our difference as a community lies in the fact that we are able to share things between ourselves more freely than in many other communities. We may share our "strange" tastes. And that's why we like so much this place.

Welcome!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Sierra Dasilva on February 21, 2013, 04:18:29 am
Hi all.
Also took the cogniati test.
Androgne but more inclined to the female side.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on February 21, 2013, 06:43:16 am
Hi all.
Also took the cogniati test.
Androgne but more inclined to the female side.

Be advised that a lot of people consider the cogiati and sage tests unreliable. There is no evidence they can predict transgender.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on February 21, 2013, 07:03:08 am
Now I've read all your introductions, I suppose it is time to post my own...

Hello everyone.
My name will be Sky, eventually.
Today I am 24 years old. I was born a female, lived through my earliest childhood wondering why I couldn't choose between playing in the boys' or the girls' team during recess, chose for playing with the boys when I got a few years older -- until puberty hit me and I figured I should adapt myself to my new physical presence, with the boobs and all.
It felt as if I were cosplaying all those years, and frankly, I never really minded that because I can enjoy a good dress-up party like any other.
During that time, when I looked into the mirror, I saw a boy in drag. And I loved it. But every time people referred to me as  "she" and "her", I died a little on the inside.

Deep down I have always known I should have been born a boy, though since I started to consider transitioning I more and more realized that I have always been androgynous. It's just that I should have been a male bodied androgyne; I finally realize that now, and it took me a hell of a while to find out.

Now I know this, I am struggling with myself about how to deal with this. For I am a hypocrite. 
I'm pansexual and like to see myself as gender-blind. Gender-based prejudices and sexism anger me to a point where I could kill someone.
The whole concept of gender alone just makes me sick. In my Utopia we would all just be humans. People. Persons. No emphasis on our hormones and private parts.
I've read it before in others' introductions -- Why is everything labeled to be for a specific gender? Clothes, to me, are just a piece of fabric to protect our flesh. Colours are something to beautify our world with. And a job is something anyone with the right skills can do, regardless of gender.

But still. I worry about my own gender. I resent to be perceived as female.
My feelings and beliefs are conflicting.
I wish I could be as gender-blind regarding myself as I am regarding to others.

Anyways, enough with the frustrations. Let's start over.

I'm Sky, a 24 year old rock singer from the Netherlands.
I am a borderline diagnosed vampire, who spends his days sleeping and his nights making music, playing video games, watching movies and drawing. One day I hope to publish an action packed manga.
Also, I want to learn Italian, but it isn't working out too well.

It would be fun to get to know you, yet I am not sure if I'm gonna post much. Fora scare me.

-Sky

There is nothing to be scared about.  Just peek in whenever you are up to it sky.

And by the way, we have several Dutch members on the site.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on February 21, 2013, 07:09:07 am
Hello there everyone,

My name is Urse and I am going to be 22 in May. I came here because over the past couple of weeks I found myself pondering the ideas of gender and what role I had in society, since I never really felt like a girl except when I was in 3rd grade. As I grew older I found myself questioning my sexuality and came to the conclusion that I wasn't a lesbian. In Junior High School I was frequently called a lesbian and some people would even call me gay, even though genetically it was impossible for me to be gay.  I remember feeling the most hurt from those times and another time, in which I was going to a Private School and hadn't been able to get the female uniform, so on one particular day. I dressed like the guys and immediately I was called a lesbian by the men there. When I did get my female uniform, I felt shunned by the girls at my school. I am not sure if this effected me in someway or not, but I remember a time where I once saw my cousin and myself in a picture. Immediately I thought of myself as looking like an unattractive man, but not a beautiful woman.

My curiosity peeked much later when my Mother called me 'a beautiful woman' on several occasions this past month, the only thing I could think of was that I was a beautiful man but not a woman. This raised more questions for me and I began questioning whether or not I was trans. I knew I didn't want to change my biology, but at the same time in dresses and skirts I felt like an man. I started to think that it would be easier to live in the world as a man. But my hobbies and interests also made me question if I could do that. I love cooking, drawing, painting, planting, talking to birds, butterfly watching even. All these interests people would call feminine but I don't enjoy many of the hobbies that women are usually associated with such as gossip, shopping, hanging out with their girl friends, slumber parties etc... These questions led me more and more to ponder where my place in society was and through searching I began to research about androgyny and I was led here.

Biologically I don't want to change myself, but mentally I feel out of synch and yet not completely. I thought that maybe I was just a normal woman who had issues with my appearance. Yet the idea of living like a woman no longer appeals to me, it feels as though I would be be lying to myself if I became the stereotypical woman. Especially since I feel as though I've tried all my life to fit the ideal image of a woman. I want to make peace with myself and all these feelings I have accumulated over the years, and tell myself that these emotions are normal, but I don't know if they are or where to go to talk about these feelings. Especially since, in someway and I don't want to offend anyone, but I feel ashamed of being neither male or female, but at the same time. I feel as though by accepting this part of me, I won't be ashamed of being something that is normal. So I am here and hope to learn a great deal from my elders. I hope you do not mind that I call those of you here 'elders' It is out of respect, though perhaps the term 'teachers' sounds more appealing. In conclusion, I am still very new to all of this and want to learn more. So for those of you who read this, thank you. :3

Our non-binary members here come in all shapes, sizes, and colors.  There is no one right way to present, but what is right for you.

I often think to myself, how boring the world would be if I had to be a binary and conform to a gender role and a societal expectation.  Ha!  I tried that for too long and it almost did me in.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on February 21, 2013, 08:17:15 am
Hi URse and all the rest of you newbys that I have failed to greet! Welcome everyone, who like myself don't fit specifically into any of polite society's standard boxes. You are all in good company here in Susan's big family.  :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: sicological on February 26, 2013, 01:15:15 pm
Hi everyone,

I'm new here (have been hovering for a while), and all of your posts make me feel a bit more normal, so thanks!

I recently turned 18, and having often felt misgendered as a female, came to the realisation that actually I would feel wrong if I identified as male too. I now identify in my head as sort of bi-gender, I'm still working it all out but really I'd rather the whole concept didn't exist...

Anyway, I'll be going to university soon and hopefully will be able to restart my life as I want it to be - so I thought I'd practise by telling the internet :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on February 26, 2013, 03:04:59 pm
I now identify in my head as sort of bi-gender, I'm still working it all out but really I'd rather the whole concept didn't exist...
Welcome!
I understand how you'd rather the whole concept didn't exist.
I feel the same way, but the world seems to be concerned about it.
I label myself as non-binary. It's as close to ignoring the concept as I can get.
But gender is a part of what this forum runs on, so I also have a point of view about it.
Can't seem to get away from it... :P
But yah, welcome :)
Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: dreameragi on February 27, 2013, 11:33:36 am
A big hello to all the wonderful people here :-)

I have been lurking around here from a while. Meaning to introduce myself, but did not really know what to say :-)

I am in my 40's, biologically male, identifying somewhere between the genders (androgyne). It's just recently that I have started questioning my gender identity. I guess I spend a great many years either trying to put on a front or letting other (bigger) issues eclipse my gender identity.

Came to a point where I finally realized that I have a non confirming gender identity. Accepting that and allowing myself to identify as a gender non confirming person gave me great peace, but also made me sad about what I could not acknowledge for all these years.

Going ahead something that I really want to be able to do is figure out how I can express myself and experience the universe as I would like to. I was recently watching a music video on the net. I noticed that the men and women were moved by the music in totally different ways, and it made me think: this (like the women) is exactly how I relate to the universe. But at the same time I also realize that I am different from women in many ways. I guess it is impossible for me to put myself in a fixed category. I prefer looking feminine, I am as comfortable playing sports as I am in the kitchen cooking. I generally enjoy healthy conversations which are neither testosterone nor estrogen dominated :-) Though I have to put my foot down and say that I relate really less with business talk :-) (no offense to those who do, please)

For a while I contemplated if I could transition, but I realized that I would be going from a gender non confirming man to a gender non confirming woman. I think there might be other ways of finding my true connection to the universe, and feeling peaceful with myself, than transitioning. I hope to explore these things in coming months. I hope to explore lifestyle changes, appearance, low dose medication, and even carving out a space where I can just be myself.

Thanks to all the wonderful people here for having such a great community.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on February 27, 2013, 11:41:01 am
Welcome dreameragi!
           
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jadedflames on March 12, 2013, 09:11:56 pm
Well, I'm new here, so I guess this is what I am supposed to do...


I am a bio-male who identifies as bi-gender and leans more towards female than male. I am attracted to women. Currently I am going through a really rough patch of dysphoria, which always makes me want to just stay home and sculpt. By profession, however, I am a scenic carpenter and an actor. Best of both worlds.

My presentation changes from day to day, which is something I can still get away with in college, but I am graduating in may and am kind of concerned about what will happen to me then. Out of the closet to all but my family members, which is unfortunate, but necessary, they are VERY southern, and I would be practically guaranteed to be disowned.

I am currently seriously considering hormones, as my face and body are VERY mannish. I can't do anything about being 6' 2", but I can at least do something about my nonexistent hips and my prominent chin. Despite that though, I am not currently planning to transition, as that wouldn't really help the dysphoria (I would feel the same half the time, just from the other side).

Uhm. I like purple. It's a good color.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: soulfairer on March 12, 2013, 09:42:28 pm
Well, I'm new here, so I guess this is what I am supposed to do...


I am a bio-male who identifies as bi-gender and leans more towards female than male. I am attracted to women exclusively. Currently I am going through a really rough patch of dysphoria, which always makes me want to just stay home and sculpt. By profession, however, I am a scenic carpenter and an actor. Best of both worlds.

My presentation changes from day to day, which is something I can still get away with in college, but I am graduating in may and am kind of concerned about what will happen to me then. Out of the closet to all but my family members, which is unfortunate, but necessary, they are VERY southern, and I would be practically guaranteed to be disowned.

I am currently seriously considering hormones, as my face and body are VERY mannish. I can't do anything about being 6' 2", but I can at least do something about my nonexistent hips and my prominent chin. Despite that though, I am not currently planning to transition, as that wouldn't really help the dysphoria (I would feel the same half the time, just from the other side).

Uhm. I like purple. It's a good color.

Hi, Jadedflames, I am a bio-male who transitioned but really likes the forest - here. I am attracted to female figures (women in the definition can be a extense definition, btw). Went from dysphoria to euphoria (first day out in the work is today), and my presentation also changes a lot.

My body once was 'very' mannish in some aspects (though I always had some androgynous touch here and there). I'm 5'8" and gained hips and have a more curvy face.

Hope you find your place here :) Welcome!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on March 13, 2013, 09:50:25 am
Went from dysphoria to euphoria (first day out in the work is today), and my presentation also changes a lot.
I'm 5'8" and gained hips and have a more curvy face.
Soulfairer! Congrats! (I found out I'm now 5'8", I'm shrinking...so are my hips, dammit  >:()

Jadedflames! Welcome to the forest!
Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on March 13, 2013, 11:49:03 am
Soulfairer! Congrats! (I found out I'm now 5'8", I'm shrinking...so are my hips, dammit  >:()

Jadedflames! Welcome to the forest!
Ativan

Don't feel bad, I was 6' until I joined the paratroops and was 5' 8" when I got out  :D Now I've shrunk to 5' 7".
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: brainiac on March 13, 2013, 04:01:18 pm
Throwing in another welcome to you, Jadedflames! I wonder, as an actor, how much do you deal with makeup? I think using makeup to feminize/masculinize faces is really cool (I love drag queens and kings).

...and purple is clearly the best color. Just sayin'.  ;)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jadedflames on March 13, 2013, 04:36:23 pm
Oh lord, Shantel! I had heard that that kind of thing happened, but I had no idea it was that noticable!

Brainiac, I do use makeup quite a bit, but mainly for things like injuries, aging, and basic corrective. Theatre makeup is usually much more opaque than what is worn on the street. I have done some feminization techniques, but have never had a call to use them on stage. I am actually taking an advanced stage makeup class now!

And yes. Purple is clearly the best. It is the color of awesome. If anyone asks what color awesome is, it is purple.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Pica Pica on March 16, 2013, 07:08:51 pm
Purple is definitely my favourite colour. It also represents the peacocking stage of alchemy, just before the white, pure phase at the very end.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: soulfairer on March 18, 2013, 01:24:31 am
Soulfairer! Congrats! (I found out I'm now 5'8", I'm shrinking...so are my hips, dammit  >:()

Jadedflames! Welcome to the forest!
Ativan

God! I was originally 5'8", so I'll likely shrink! :) But well, I can settle with 5'6" :D
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: undeuxtrois on March 25, 2013, 09:59:42 am
I'm new here, but have been lurking Susans for many many years. I'm a trans* genderqueer MAAB, have been taking "MtF" hormones for the past 2 years (by lying to my therapist about my intent, which was not to full transition).

My clothing style is alt/sea//cyb0-whatev, so I wear weird meshed sports pants and loose-fitting, cut up shirts, tube top bras without pushup/straps (hate those). I avoid a lot of tight clothing to remain androgynous, but I have been doing laser/electrolysis to get rid of disgusting facial hair. I only wear a small layer of foundation around my eyes once in a while to disort the shadow casted under my brow to look more or less andro/female/male whatev I feel like. Hair's short, and 3 colors.

Anyway, I'm here to try finding similar folks to myself. As a trans* non-binary MAAB, I feel disconnected from the larger LGBTQIA community. There's no "shared identity" I can get behind with others like myself, at least from what I've seen so far, so I feel like I'm floating in an identity-less, gender-less aquarium full of estrogen.

So, I'm here to make myself stronger, more confident in my own body. I want to find a comfortable niché in the trans* / androgyne community...
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: brainiac on March 25, 2013, 11:42:26 am
I'm new here, but have been lurking Susans for many many years. I'm a trans* genderqueer MAAB, have been taking "MtF" hormones for the past 2 years (by lying to my therapist about my intent, which was not to full transition).

My clothing style is alt/sea//cyb0-whatev, so I wear weird meshed sports pants and loose-fitting, cut up shirts, tube top bras without pushup/straps (hate those). I avoid a lot of tight clothing to remain androgynous, but I have been doing laser/electrolysis to get rid of disgusting facial hair. I only wear a small layer of foundation around my eyes once in a while to disort the shadow casted under my brow to look more or less andro/female/male whatev I feel like. Hair's short, and 3 colors.

Anyway, I'm here to try finding similar folks to myself. As a trans* non-binary MAAB, I feel disconnected from the larger LGBTQIA community. There's no "shared identity" I can get behind with others like myself, at least from what I've seen so far, so I feel like I'm floating in an identity-less, gender-less aquarium full of estrogen.

So, I'm here to make myself stronger, more confident in my own body. I want to find a comfortable niché in the trans* / androgyne community...
Bienvenue!

You're certainly welcome here, and you definitely aren't the only non-binary MAAB person on these forums. I hope you can feel at home here. It sounds like you have an awesome sense of style, too.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on March 25, 2013, 11:58:55 am
undeuxtrois,
        A warm welcome to you from another who is bi-gendered, presents mixed gender, slightly confused but happy.  ;D
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on March 25, 2013, 12:02:30 pm
Welcome and see you around the forest here.
Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Dace on April 02, 2013, 07:46:50 am
My name is Dacey (although I go by Dace) and I am 19. I have always known I was a manly kind of a girl but only recently have I come to discover that the "official" name for how I have always felt is androgynous.
Firstly, my real name really is Dacey, which is extremely lucky because it is both rare and unisex, so it is not something I ever have to worry about. I prefer to be called Dace because... well I just do, it sounds pretty funky in my opinion.
I am extremely comfortable with my sexuality (pansexual) and gender identification and I refuse to be bullied at all. However I am an easy target due to my asperger's and strange appearance. I am fairly Gothic and enjoy piercings and other body modifications, they allow me to feel pain in a controlled way whilst boosting how awesome I look.
For years now I have only worn oversized men's shirts because they make me feel more comfortable, as well as unisex boots (anything from large "mosher" boots to Doctor Martens). I generally hate feminine things and find myself interested in the more stereotypical "manly" things. One of the biggest loves in my life (probably due to my asperger's) are JCB diggers. Most people think this is a strange obsession but I just love them so much!
In other things, I have gay and trans friends so I'm not alone in real life, although nobody fully understands how serious I am about how I describe my gender identity: "I do not identify as female, please stop emphasising that I am a girl". My current struggles only include how to make it clear to people that this is my gender identity, other than that I am extremely happy.
So far this forum has shown me kindness and I am thankful for that, I hope to speak with many of you over the course of my being here. :D
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on April 02, 2013, 08:57:21 am
Hey Dace welcome, you came to the right place and you fit right in!  :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: brainiac on April 02, 2013, 10:31:40 am
Seconding the welcome! :) Your piercings sound pretty bad*ss! If you don't mind my asking, what kinds do you have?
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Dace on April 02, 2013, 02:40:03 pm
Hey Shantel and Brainiac, thank you for your greetings.
In regards to my piercings I have 4x ear (soon to be a lot more), 3x lip (snakebites + vertical labret), 2x nipple and 1x tongue, so ten all together so far :). I also have two scarification cuttings (just a little extra there aha).
I'm always happy to talk and answer questions I have nothing to hide. :P I also love to be a listening ear to anybody that may need it. I don't believe my message centre is open yet but when it is I'm more than happy to chat.
Title: New to this site
Post by: MickeyK03 on April 03, 2013, 11:26:35 am
[/size

Hi i am brand new to this website  I am in my late 50's i was born female and have had to identify with the lesbian community.  Since back in the 70's you did not ask for a sex change in a small town .  I have learn to just be me but was never happy with the body i was given.  I have dated mostly straight women who wanted to be with a women.  So i enjoy sex with women, and still do.  I know in my head i have a big ass penis.!!  So its good to find a site i can just reach out and read .  I have come to accept  the i am bi gender.  but my male side is so damn strong.. i cant find the female sometimes.. So i want to start packing, again it helps .  But i can also go without packing..because someone once said sex and who you really are is all in your head.. AND i know because he is always there..
Thanks for listening
Mickey
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on April 03, 2013, 11:36:57 am
Welcome MickeyK03!

Lots of topics to look through, there are older pages of them, too.
Some short lived, others have been running a long time.
And new topics are always welcome, but look through the ones already up, their pretty good and informative.
We're a diverse group here, learn from each other, always.
So ask and advise.
A Moderator should be along shortly with some stuff for you.

On the run,  :icon_walk:
Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Mayonnaise on April 04, 2013, 01:29:49 pm
Hi! I'm a female bodied Pansexual Monoamorous Androgyne from Upstate NY.

I currently present as a "Soft Butch" woman, and don't much fuss myself over pronouns, because I really don't feel like having to educate every single person I meet about gender neutrals, and I don't identify as 'he' or 'she' so they're going to get it wrong either way. I'm actually a little chuffed when I get called 'he' since 'she' happens most of the time... like it's evening the scales or something.

Here, where you get it, as among close friends, I'd love to be 'xe.'

I have been content for most of my life as being regarded someone who "doesn't really COUNT as a GIRL" but the older I get the less that's a thing, especially since I left college in 2006. Like I was going to grow into being binary gendered.

I also mostly feel like I'm not REALLY trans, compared to my FTM and MTF friends, but my closest friend, who's MFT, who apparently I inspired to transition during an attempt to get her to stop being ashamed to have aspergers, (take off the mask and be yourself, yadda yadda yadda) has in turn been encouraging me to want more than just to tolerate being regarded as a "boyish woman."

So... that's how I got here... because it seems like the only good forum out here for this... and I'm hoping to learn, and stick around long enough to pass on that knowledge to others.

8^)

PS: I'm also super sad that "Negative. I am a meat Popsicle" was not a valid answer for "Are you human?" in the spambot filter questions.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on April 04, 2013, 01:55:28 pm
Hi Mayo...
     You came to the right place, welcome!  :eusa_dance:
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Ms. OBrien on April 04, 2013, 02:09:46 pm
Hi Mayonnaise, :icon_wave:

Welcome to our little family. Over 10707. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another Andro. (http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Animals/ferret-3.gif)

And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS ) (http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Animals/ferret-8.gif)


(http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Animals/ferret-5.gif)
Janet  )O(
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Mayonnaise on April 04, 2013, 02:13:54 pm
Thanks Ms. OBrien!

That saying in your sidebar: "It will be alright in the end... and if it is not alright, it's not the end."

That something Molly (my MTF bestie) says to me all the time when I'm having anxiety attacks.

I think I'm going to like it here.

8^)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on April 05, 2013, 12:34:50 am
Ms. O beat me to the punch, but a warm welcome to Mickey, Dace, and Mayonnaise.

Dace, I have an entire topic dedicated to the Docs I wanted so bad, but could not get in my size.  >:(

Mickey, I am like to flip side of the coin from you.  Yep, we did not have a lot of options, or access to information in the 70's and 80's.   8)

Mayo, me and pronouns have a tacit agreement.  I don't get upset if one is used for me, and they don't get upset when I use the plural form for everybody.  ;)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on April 06, 2013, 03:06:08 pm
Hmm... I seem to have missed welcoming some of you, lately.
Consumed with things lately.
So Welcome!
(trying to catch up around here)
Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: dreameragi on April 08, 2013, 09:46:33 am
Hi! I'm a female bodied Pansexual Monoamorous Androgyne from Upstate NY.

...

So... that's how I got here... because it seems like the only good forum out here for this... and I'm hoping to learn, and stick around long enough to pass on that knowledge to others.


Hey Mayonnaise, Welcome here :-) ! There are many of us who do not fit into the gender binary. I come from the other side, but still in a similar situation as yours :-)


Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: DanaRSS on April 09, 2013, 03:39:27 pm
Hi all!  I'm Dana.  (Woohoo unisex birth name!)  I'm female by birth and have thought a lot about whether I'd be more comfortable as a male since about age 16, but this is the first year that I've started opening up about it to family and friends.  (I'm 26.)

I always thought of the question of whether I'm <transgender> as a strict yes or no thing - basically I needed to get in touch with myself and figure out "what I really am", like an abstract sense of being a "real man" or a "real woman".  For about a year I've been trying something else, which is to just look at it as a bunch of different preferences and desires and learn what works for me by trying stuff.  Not surprisingly, it's been way more productive.  : )  Some of the changes I've made (presenting male part-time in public, packing around the house, just being open about it with people I'm close with) have made me a much calmer and happier person. 

So far I'm pretty certain I don't want to go on T or do top surgery, but I'm still not sure whether I'm going to go full-time male socially, or swing back and forth.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on April 09, 2013, 03:55:56 pm
Welcome! You have already fit right in here!
A moderator should be along shortly with an official forum welcome and info.
Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Ms. OBrien on April 09, 2013, 04:03:48 pm
Hi Dana, :icon_wave:

Welcome to our little family. Over 10786. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another brother/Andro. (http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Animals/ferret-3.gif)

And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS ) (http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Animals/ferret-8.gif)


(http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Animals/ferret-5.gif)
Janet  )O(
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: DanaRSS on April 09, 2013, 04:47:37 pm
Thank you!  I'm really happy I came across this site.  Looking forward to getting to know all of you better.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on April 09, 2013, 05:06:46 pm
Hey Dana,
      Welcome to our gang!  :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Benji on May 02, 2013, 12:20:53 pm
Hello! My name is Zoe, or Benji. I'm biologically female but have been feeling more... stuck in the middle lately. Not entirely neutral (more of a lean to fem I suppose, though that might just be cause it's what I'm used to), but still not quite one or the other.

I'm hoping to make some friends here. I'd like to adopt a more androgynous look, and see if acting more androgynous would help me feel like I'm better embracing the entirety of how I feel my gender. Still pretty confused about a lot of things, but I suppose everyone is at some point.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on May 02, 2013, 12:27:09 pm
I'm hoping to make some friends here.  Still pretty confused about a lot of things, but I suppose everyone is at some point.
Welcome friend! Look through some of the topics here, there's a lot of good information.
New topics are always welcome, just as you are. We specialize in confusion, we've all been there.
Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on May 02, 2013, 12:57:32 pm
Hello! My name is Zoe, or Benji. I'm biologically female but have been feeling more... stuck in the middle lately. Not entirely neutral (more of a lean to fem I suppose, though that might just be cause it's what I'm used to), but still not quite one or the other.

I'm hoping to make some friends here. I'd like to adopt a more androgynous look, and see if acting more androgynous would help me feel like I'm better embracing the entirety of how I feel my gender. Still pretty confused about a lot of things, but I suppose everyone is at some point.

Hi there, Benji!  Glad you found us  ;)

This board is a meeting place for many of our non-binary members, like Ativan (above) and me.

Just some "house keeping" ...

Please be sure to review


We all started by questioning our gender identity.  There is no one right answer for  these things.  Sometimes we just have to feel our way along.  And don't get too hung up on labels.

I know my goal is just to feel comfortable being me.  I identify as "bi-gendered" - but that is just a label, and labels are not always useful.

When you get to 15 posts, new aspects of the site will open to you.

Welcome!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: brainiac on May 02, 2013, 02:26:39 pm
Hello! My name is Zoe, or Benji. I'm biologically female but have been feeling more... stuck in the middle lately. Not entirely neutral (more of a lean to fem I suppose, though that might just be cause it's what I'm used to), but still not quite one or the other.

I'm hoping to make some friends here. I'd like to adopt a more androgynous look, and see if acting more androgynous would help me feel like I'm better embracing the entirety of how I feel my gender. Still pretty confused about a lot of things, but I suppose everyone is at some point.
Welcome, Benji! :) I know a lot of us felt that confusion too--I know that once I found out about non-binary identities, it felt a bit overwhelming, since there were so many "options". I'm sure that with experimentation and time you can figure out exactly what makes you happy. We're here to help!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on May 02, 2013, 03:11:35 pm
Hi Benji,
       Welcome to the real world!  ;)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Padma on May 02, 2013, 06:20:03 pm
Welcome Zoe/Benji - I suspect that what we experience as confusion is really just us having a different sense of gender from the monochrome, binary, and static one we're led to expect we should have from day one. I hope you enjoy playing with your gender-sense and trying different stuff on (both literally and metaphorically), it can be a lot of fun :).
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Benji on May 03, 2013, 09:33:02 am
Ahhh thank you everyone for the greetings. This site has been so welcoming so far. Can't wait to poke my nose into some other threads and start chatting. :333

I suppose confusion is a natural part of any change or push against the social norm. If anything I'd be a bit concerned if I /wasn't/ feeling at least a little confused about it all. I agree that labels don't fix much, but they also make us feel safe and give us... hmm, not a goal but a grounding. That said, I'm perfectly fine with not knowing what I am as long as I find a place that makes me happy, and i'm sure this forum and family will help with that.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: pluggy on May 06, 2013, 02:00:19 pm
Hey all. I've been poking around the various forums on the web and this one seems the best. I put up a post on the Intro thread but after having a peruse of the forum I think that the Androgyn area is where I'm at at the moment.

I think me joining this forum is an act of taking my gender curiosity seriously. (Excuse the repetition from the intro thread) I'm born male but becoming increasingly dissatisfied with being classed as male/man/straight. I enjoy some of my masculine traits but am starting to enjoy and play with my feminine aspects that I've had since teenhood. I enjoy wearing my wife's clothes and recently her make-up which is great because it's somethng we do together and she's taking my experimenting really well.

For the time being all my gender play is securely within the confines of my house and probably will be for a while. I would like to maybe get some 'feminine' clothes for myself and try different ways of expressing myself, even if it is just at home for the moment. If you're aware of Lafayette from True Blood, that's the kind of image/mode of being I'd like to be at but I'm very conscious of not upsetting my wife by making too great a leap - and maybe even shocking myself for that matter.

I don't know if I have a title I'd consider myself - more like what I don't want to be called. There'a lot of words I've picked up these past couple of days! I'm a philosophy graduate and enjoy reading about these issues (I'm totally enjoying Gender Trouble by Judith Butler at the moment) and the language/discourse surrounding gender is something that I'm very interested in.

Look forward to meeting more of you on the forum!

 :D
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on May 06, 2013, 02:24:43 pm
Hey Pluggy!
Welcome to the forest. Sounds like you're having fun.
Many of us defy labels and don't like the boxes that come with them.
Whether you do or not, it's alright. We share something that is broadly defined as Non-binary.
The title here of Andogyne is more of a tradition.
Look through the topics and their threads. Some good information can be found.
Hang around, ask questions, let us know your opinions, your ideas. New topics are always welcome.
Ativan.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: brainiac on May 06, 2013, 03:07:17 pm
Welcome, Pluggy! It's cool that you're starting to think about all this stuff, and I hope you can feel at home here.

And for the record, I think Lafayette is gorgeous. ;)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on May 07, 2013, 12:38:21 pm
Hi there, Pluggy.  Glad you found us.  We Androgyne Forest denizen are elusive  ;)

Yeah, about labels ... who needs 'em?  In any case, you are free to be yourself here.  Welcome.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: D0LL on May 11, 2013, 12:52:54 am
I've never heard the term "Androgyne" before, but I also haven't looked much into transgender stuff before (although because I am a genetic female with VERY high Testosterone trying to grow breasts, I have spent a lot of time on MtF Natural Breast Enhancement boards before). All-in-all, I guess "Androgyne" would describe me.

I've always wanted to be male, but have also always been jealous of the perfect female form. Since the later is much easier to attain, I've spent the past year feminizing myself. However, I still hate myself, and can't help but feel like that's because now I'm much easier to identify as female, and it would be harder to pass as male (although I still have a very masculine face; my friend even told me she thought I was a guy before when she was far from sober!)

I...don't know how to handle this body...But I can't help but be endlessly jealous for the genetic males. They get all the good functioning parts, and can grow breasts if they so desire. If I were to try to trans, what would I actually have, in all reality?

For that reason, my favourite type of hentai is futanari. ;P
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on May 11, 2013, 02:43:39 am
Hi, D0LL.  Nice to meet you.  If you look up the page a bit, you will see some of the rules and regs in another post.

Hey listen, no reason to hate yourself.  There is not anything we can't get a grip on, if we put our minds to it.

We don't really "try" transgender stuff, we realize it in time, and find ways to cope.  I am sort of the flipside to you.  Born male-bodied, socialized male, but early on realized I wasn't all male.  I had strong female tendencies, low-T and high-E, developed persistent pubertal gynecomastia at about 13 or so.

I identify as "bi-gendered," but that's just a label.  I feel very female at times, and male other times.  It's confusing and aggravating.  But, for me, the key to inner peace began with self-acceptance.

I'd like to chat more when you have a chance.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on May 11, 2013, 12:55:31 pm
Hi Doll, welcome to the club! Having read your intro I wonder if perhaps you might be born AIS? If this is too intense to discuss you can PM me about it once you get a few more posts under your belt and can do PM's. I am knowledgable and conversant about the variations of androgyne insensitivity syndrome, a very close friend was born with it.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: dentifrice on May 14, 2013, 10:15:16 am
Hello everybody  ;D

Well, I'll try to put my life in a nut shell (or 2) and share it with the community. Having external points of view could be a good thing as most of you seem to have experiences much like mine.
I'm a 25yrs old French guy. I didn't really feel ok with posting on the public place with my "still-improving" English but I've been convinced to do so.

I think that I discovered my dysphoria quite early but I lived without mind too much about it.
I've a deep feeling that I would have preferred being a girl. If I could change for being a cis-woman and avoiding the transitional issues, I'll do it.
BUT, being a guy I'm not poise to start a transition because of societal issues : family, work, medical, financial, ... I'm probably not depressed enough to face all that problems ^^
So, sometime I feel bad with my male body and hairs and everything and I just want to be a girl. Some other time I feel like it's too weird and I don't really need it...
I'm still trying to understand :
- is it just a fantasy ? the dream of being a woman, young, beautiful and rock-star (^^ hooo yeah) BUT in fact I don't really need it and if I actually change I'll be as depressed as being a guy.
- is it the real me ? I should have being born XX but unfortunately the weather was too hot or whatever the reason but I born XY... by mistake. THEN, I NEED TO change as quick as possible to fit my body to my mind !
I still don't really know and it seems fluctuating.

The point is that, I'm with a girl and we love each other, she know all what I've told you and she's very supportive but I would like to give her an answer in order to make her able to picture her life. Am I staying a guy ? Am I being her girlfriend within a year ? I would like to put words on my dysphoria.
The other point is that I'm almost finishing my studies and I'll have to find a (real) job next year... If I want to live as a girl it's probably the right time to know it and going on interview in girl mode or at least looking for a job without public contact in order to make the transition as easy as possible if that occurs later.

I NEED to know who I am, now !!
(( I'm living with myself since I'm born and I still don't know who I'm ? what a bad selfmate I'm... ))

So, I've been boy then girl then boy then I don't care then boy then girl then ... but never sure.
||: I conclude that my biggest problem was that I'm not very "passable" in girl mode, It's ok to stay home but not enough to get out of my closet. So I'm not ok with being a full-time guy, I need to be seen a little as a girl but when I do so I just feel ugly and being a dressed-Ken instead of being a Barbie. So I want to have breasts and cut my things down there and be pretty.Then I remember that It's not so bad being a guy and I fear life-time medication and societal issues and I just realize that I'll NEVER be girly enough and the more the time is running the more I'm becoming boyish and the more I'm not fitting dresses and so I put my dresses in a box and accept my fate of being a guy! Then I see this blue lovely pair of shoes and I remember that I would like to be a girl. I get my dresses out of the box until i realize that my biggest problem was that I'm not very "passable" in girl mode.
And you can go back to the beginning of the paragraph and read it again any time you want. :||
(it's a infinite reading paragraph.... MouhAhAhAhA, you'll never end reading this post!)

Ok you probably escape from reading the previous paragraph now... You're lucky, you've the choice to escape it. I haven't!
This endless through. I think it's what is called dysphoria :/
Until now I was thinking that there is no solution : impossible to be the cow-boy and the princess in the same time.

So I used to crossdress, easy to switch back, just removing the pads but It wasn't enough and after some time I was trying to get ride of my body hairs, it could be ok for men to be hairs-less. I've let my hair grown, it could be ok for men to be long haired. I get rid of my beard. I did my eyebrow. Nothing permanent : "just to try".
Then I just came out to my sister and some friends about having gender dysphoria.
Going all these steps is reversible but I feel better. I don't know if it's because I feel more feminine or just relieved of a life-time lie. But it's seems to be the right way. 

But as far as I'm in this path I still don't know if I want to be a girl facing all the problem linked to the transition or to stay a boy and perhaps regret it later...
And even if I change to full-transitioned will I be happy ?
I'm feeling better but the endless through is still here.

And reading the topic about "Androgynes and HRT" found by chance scrolling google I just figured out that it's what I was more or less trying to do :
Changing step by step from boyish boy to girly boy !

I look back with a word : Not MTF but MTA (ok it's not accurately a "word" but anyway.)
Finally, I still don't know where I want to go... But I understand that I'm already in my way to androgyny, kind of, as I'm trying to get as close as possible to the female side without crossing the irreversible line... and the more I get close the more I figure out that there is no "line". It's a fuzzy border and I'm already in the "nogender's land".
I'm still closer to the boy's side, in the "non permanent" zone. (facial hairs removal, long hair, ...) and I don't know if I want to go further (low doses hrt, family coming out, ...).

Right now :
I'm still disphoric but I'm not sure I'm ready to permanently change but I have a better diagnostic of my "trouble".

So, to conclude being polite : "what the fù#*ing hell with that piece of s*!t in my head, huh ?"[Cartman - southpark], "that is the question!" [Shakespeare]. (2 great philosophers aren't they ?)
That's why I'm here scrolling this forum and reading your posts !

Regards,
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on May 14, 2013, 10:42:39 am
Hi Dentifrice!
                    Your English is fine, better than my French to be sure! You are at the right place as your situation as you describe it resonates well with me. Hopefully you will be able to find some solace as well as answers from others as you read their posts. I would recommend that you find someone in the counseling business as well that is well versed in gender dysphoria and have some one on one conversations and pour out your inner feelings to them. I found this to be very useful in my own experience and was very surprised at how easily the tears flowed once I became comfortable sharing my inner thoughts with my counselor. I liken the process to peeling an onion a layer each visit, but the net result has been a sense of relief and inner calmness and so it was worth the expense. Welcome to Susan's extended family!

Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on May 15, 2013, 09:42:29 am
Hi Julie,
      You're not too old to be you dear, I'm ten years your senior so you're not alone here kid. Welcome to the family!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on May 16, 2013, 09:06:21 am
Thanks Shan, You're quickly becoming one of my favorite peeps here.

Thanks Julie, BTW were you in the navy at one time? I'm responding to your sayings about the mast and poop deck of course.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on May 16, 2013, 12:33:45 pm
@ Shan, I was never in the service.  My Dad was in the Navy during WW 2, but I don't recall him using nautical terms a great deal.  Likely I picked them up from watching movies and reading stories.  Were you in the Navy?

No, did a couple of tours in the paratroops during Vietnam. If they could only see me now!  ;D
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Devlyn on May 16, 2013, 02:10:23 pm
LOL

My talk of masts and decks is pirate talk.  Notice the avatar is of a creole pirate girl.  I play a game that is fashioned after the days of pirates, we sometimes get rolling pretty good on pirate-like chat

Horse Named "Arggghhhh" (Pirate) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjqEn7AAq5E#)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: jesseofthenorth on May 17, 2013, 10:50:17 pm
Hey
I'm jesse.
I'm way to old to still be figuring this all out. I guess the journey takes as long as it takes.

I have been lurking these boards for a while looking find a place for people like me.  And by people like me I mean Androgyne. I have a female body that I am not overly fond of. I would prefer to be entirely flat chested with no outward indication of gender, and will one day find a way to make that happen. I am not interested in transitioning, not fully anyway.  I just would like to be comfortable in my own body for the first time in my life.

Editing to Add: For me personally the greater portion of my journey has been less and less about the body I was born into than the acceptance of myself as being a perfect blend of genders. I am both and neither and still finding my way through everything that means

I live in a small town which can feel a bit like a fishbowl because I am visibly different from everyone around me. I have people who love and accept me exactly as I am even through the course of my developing outward identity. I am very grateful for that.

I think I am mostly really looking to connect with other people like me because for most of my life I had no idea I wasn't alone.
Thankfully I found the internet and my world got bigger and better  :D
Title: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Keira on May 18, 2013, 04:05:45 am
Hello Jesse

I'm Skye :)

I also live in a small town in western Canada. As you can tell from my profile Im a non-binary trans-girl. I don't call myself androgyne, but when I start dressing in my preferred gender I will most likely present as andro-feminine. So, I tend to fit in more with non-binary trans people.

You can PM me if you want after you get 15+ posts. :)

-Skye
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Taka on May 19, 2013, 11:17:05 am
welcome jesse, julie, dentifrice, pluggy, benji, d0ll (and others)! i should get better at visiting this thread...

For that reason, my favourite type of hentai is futanari. ;P
should we start a futa club? not the right place for hentai discussions, but... futa is my preferred body type, probably. most futas are female, but i like male ones as well, can't really decide which one would be best.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Mike+Char on May 20, 2013, 04:06:52 pm
Hello

My name is Charolette(like the Spider) and my Male sides name is MIke.

I guess I should tell you a little about myself. As a Child I was always call a Tom-Boy, I played All the boys games and I always had to be better then the next guy. As I Hit My Teens and through out I was Always "One of the Guys".( that pissed my female side off) Now that I am 23, I have been Questioning Myself. There is no one that I can really talk to about this so... Here I am.

I guess my Male side just wants to be reconized more then just being the "Tom-Boy" or "One of the Guys". Then starts the fighting with myself.
As my Male and Female fight each other I start sinking into depression and can't really seem to pop my self out of it at times. I am an out-going person and love being with people and with this starting to consumes my mind I'm just not happy anymore and it start to slow me down.

So the Question is am I  Androgynous?
Or am I just wanting to be a hermaphrodite?

If I am In the wrong place please if you can point me in the direction i need to be in.

We Thank you
Mike+Char
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on May 20, 2013, 05:12:21 pm
Interesting questions.

Just by way of background, and how some of our members identified, we have a staff member several years ago name "Mia and Marq," who used "we, they, them, their".

Also there's another retired staff member, "Ken/Kendra," who presents as "Kendra", who still occasionally posts.

After you get 15 or more posts, you will be able to use the personal messaging system, and look at the profiles of your fellow members.

You are in the right place.  We sometimes call it the "Unicorn Forest," because of magic of our members.

I can't wait for you to meet "Edge".  And "Auntie Shan." And the grand and great guru of all things non-binary is "Ativan."  But the fact of the matter is, we are all accepting and caring in out own way.  Glad you posted.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Taka on May 20, 2013, 05:40:28 pm
Welcome, Mike+Char!

This is a place where it's very ok to not know what it is you really are. If you're uncertain, then i'll recommend you to search for answers by reading and asking.

The true answer is only within yourself, though. There are many other labels than just androgynous and wanting to be a heemaphrodite, feel free to try on any that you find mentioned around here or other places, and toss away the ones that don't suit you.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Edge on May 20, 2013, 05:53:56 pm
Hi Mike+Char. Welcome to the forest.
Personally, I think there are as many identities as there are people and that it is a personal thing. The labels we use are just to try to communicate what our identities are to other people. As for what yours is, only you can figure that out.
For the first several months I was here, I identified as both male and female. I had a lot of trouble fighting with myself to try to figure out what to do since my male self had dysphoria and I was worried my female self would if I transitioned. It made me feel miserable. What I did was I started journalling what I felt like each day and keeping track of it. It helped me be able to step back a bit and, to use a cliche, see the forest instead of just the trees. Other than that, all I can recommend is time and doing what you're doing.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Mike+Char on May 20, 2013, 06:20:50 pm
 We Thank you guys. Not only did I find A place that just for me, For the First time in awhile my Male is happy i Guess this will be his outlet for the time being and a coping place for my female. WE thank you All for the fact that ya'll are willing to help Us and point Us in the right way how to handle ourselves. I, WE, feel happier, lighter, like We are heading in the right way.


We Thank You
Mike+Char 
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: brainiac on May 20, 2013, 06:44:16 pm
Everybody else has already said what I would've said, so I'll just say WELCOME, Mike and Char! :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Mike+Char on May 20, 2013, 06:46:54 pm
We thank you For the welcome! ;D
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Rinzler on May 31, 2013, 11:30:49 am
Hello, everyone! I'm Rinzler, a 22 year-old Psych major from the Southern United States who just joined this site a few days ago. Although I've known my whole life that I don't always identify as female, it's only been within this past year or so that I've given these feelings more thought and realized what they mean.

For a short while, I suspected that I might be FTM, but that didn't fully encompass what I was feeling. As I learned about non-binary gender identities, I realized that I wasn't the only one with these kinds of feelings that couldn't be sorted into only either male or female.

I find that I shift from female gender to male gender depending on who I'm with, what I'm doing, and what sort of situation I'm in. I haven't admitted any of this to anyone aside from my best friend and my boyfriend, so I still generally dress in feminine clothing. My only experiences dressing in masculine clothing have been when I cosplay male characters or when I experiment with face contouring make-up late at night when everyone else in the house has already gone to sleep, haha.

I still don't really know if or when I'll ever tell any of my family members or any more of my friends, but I'm very happy to be able to come here where people can relate to me!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on May 31, 2013, 11:41:40 am
Hello, everyone! I'm Rinzler, a 22 year-old Psych major from the Southern United States who just joined this site a few days ago. Although I've known my whole life that I don't always identify as female, it's only been within this past year or so that I've given these feelings more thought and realized what they mean.

For a short while, I suspected that I might be FTM, but that didn't fully encompass what I was feeling. As I learned about non-binary gender identities, I realized that I wasn't the only one with these kinds of feelings that couldn't be sorted into only either male or female.

I find that I shift from female gender to male gender depending on who I'm with, what I'm doing, and what sort of situation I'm in. I haven't admitted any of this to anyone aside from my best friend and my boyfriend, so I still generally dress in feminine clothing. My only experiences dressing in masculine clothing have been when I cosplay male characters or when I experiment with face contouring make-up late at night when everyone else in the house has already gone to sleep, haha.

I still don't really know if or when I'll ever tell any of my family members or any more of my friends, but I'm very happy to be able to come here where people can relate to me!

Hey good for you and welcome to the family, we're all in this together, everyone different and unique in our own ways. Glad you found us, being a psyche major will be interesting as you will have a lot of different and interesting personalities to observe and interface with. There are times that your two bits worth will be invaluable here.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Rinzler on May 31, 2013, 04:10:55 pm
Thank you very much, Shantel, and I'm very glad that I found y'all, too! And yes, just from the short time that I've been here, I've been enjoying observing and interacting with some of the wonderful, varied personalities here. :D And thank you very much, I know I'll try my best to contribute to this community and I hope that my two bits worth might be helpful to someone in some small way just as others' insight on here have been helpful to me!

Thank you so much, JulieR, it feels good to be in the right place! I can relate to that feeling of not quite knowing what to do with it all! I know for me it can be confusing trying to sort through the different thoughts, feelings, and often conflicting needs of both sides of my identity. And thank you, I know it has been helpful for me to recognize when I'm identifying as male or female and what triggers the shift, whether gradual or sudden, from one to the other.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on June 04, 2013, 08:04:55 am
Hi Reeding!
        Now I feel as if I know you well already just from the thoughtful introspection in your great post. Welcome, you are in the right place here and will fit right in! The way you describe your physiology among other aspects of yourself makes me wonder if perhaps you might be born with AIS. I have known women, a few even beautiful that have XY chromosomes. It may bear some investigation as it isn't that uncommon, but is often swept under the rug by parents. Nice meeting you dear!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on June 05, 2013, 04:37:28 pm
Thank you so much.

My interior female bits are apparently functioning and all accounted for, and have never raised any flags to healthcare providers, though I don't know if I'm truly fertile because I am averse to making babies (unto functional paranoia about precautions). My exterior bits have always been slightly masculinized, drastically so by contemporary porn-driven aesthetic standards, but nothing I have found difficult to live with.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Progestin-induced_virilisation (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Progestin-induced_virilisation)

I wonder about these XX daughters, both those who were and were not given surgical intervention. The medical assumption seems to be that they grew up "normal," genitals either corrected or normal-enough that they normalized over time, are able to reproduce and that the effects of this exposure did not have lifelong consequences. I guess that is what people want to believe. I would not have wanted any medical interventions, but would like to hear other life stories.

Normally I might send this as a PM but I don't think you get to PM quite yet, anyway we needn't hide our stuff from one another, we are a support forum, but be sure and let me know if I overstep my bounds with you, I don't want to invade anyone's comfort zone.

So if I'm getting what you are saying is that you suspect that your mom may have been chemically contaminated by some medication at some point and that it compromised you as a fetus and you have thus come into the world as a female with some masculinizing propensities and possibly an enlarged clitoris which are the reasons that you have these suspicions that your mom is refusing to discuss so far, is that right?

You sound like a pretty healthy young woman and you've wrapped your head around it to the extent that it's not the end of the world for you. An enlarged clitoris isn't a bad thing either, some women feel blessed because of it.

I saw a program on TV a few years ago on Oprah where there was a panel of three young women in their late 20's or early 30's. One was born with AIS and had rather ambiguous genitalia, she had it surgically corrected in her teens. The next gal had some kind of mosaicism and the third was exactly as you describe yourself and I rather admired her because she was perfectly happy in her own skin and wouldn't change a thing. She was able to walk on either side of the gender fence and enjoy both male and female relationships. All three of these women were attractive in their own ways. I thought it was an excellent presentation and was handled well so that none of the panelists were set up for any embarrassment. They had an opportunity to educate Oprah's viewing audience about their issues and the fact that there are a lot of people like us that live in their world.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on June 06, 2013, 07:58:00 am
Reedling,
        All I can say is WOW, you are good the way you dug up that article! I loved that gal Hilda the most because she had the most healthy and self assured attitude. ] Hilda says. "I feel blessed. I would not be a quote-unquote regular woman if you paid me."
After all we can all be different and still be just us and enjoy our lives without being poked and prodded by some curious MD type. I think you are absolutely right not to get all weird in the head and insist on having someone decode you genetically, that's totally unnecessary and intrusive both physically and emotionally. Glad you found Hilda and the other women. I'm going to bookmark that one for future reference because you and I are not alone on this planet, there are plenty of others with similar differences with their physiology. We can consider ourselves unique and special and be pleased that someone up there isn't just punching out little people using the same boring cookie cutter. (hugs) ~Shan~
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on June 06, 2013, 11:11:13 am
Jeffery Eugenide's book "Middlesex" is an excellent read! I suspect that he being Greek that there was someone in his family or neighborhood that he based his story on. It was not uncommon in Greek families for a child to be born inter-sexed. It was no doubt in part to the fact as he cites about Greeks marrying someone in their same village who could be inadvertently marrying a 1st cousin and their offspring might be a bit different. It was so rife within ancient Greece that it was not uncommon for a couple to leave their infant outside on a hot rock to die of starvation and dehydration rather than have to deal with the negative stigma of something that is easy to accept and fix today.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamiep on June 07, 2013, 01:17:02 pm
This is the first time I have dropped in Androgyn Introductions, am following up on some posts by Rinzler who responded to one of my posts.

Reeding you and Rinzler are most amazing in articulating recognizing who you are in the gender mosaic. This is really unique that you can experience life in both genders and in between. We are so Special. I wouldn't change anything in where I am in my life right now.

@Rinzler, All the best in your Psychology education. I have always felt if I had to seek mental help between a Psychiatrist or a Psychologist, I don't want a situation to be controlled by medication. Psychology is the only way for me. One time when I was unemployed, part of a program assigned me a wonderful woman Psychologist. There are times when her perceptions which probably was the truth were difficult to hear, I got angry, denial, then I finally got past the emotions & thought to myself I am here to resolve some issues & attitudes so lets listen & work on them to make corrections, get past them, move on and be a better person. I never had the brights to go to University otherwise I would be an astronomer (never got the handle on the math for that). When my Sis marriage was unravelling, we had long phone conversations & talked about this when we got together some nights to catch up on things. I would listen and make some suggestions. Sis says I should have been a Psychologist! I loved that! Psychology works with my mind to resolve issues.

Shan you get a plus for this:

Quote
After all we can all be different and still be just us and enjoy our lives without being poked and prodded by some curious MD type. I think you are absolutely right not to get all weird in the head and insist on having someone decode you genetically, that's totally unnecessary and intrusive both physically and emotionally. Glad you found Hilda and the other women. I'm going to bookmark that one for future reference because you and I are not alone on this planet, there are plenty of others with similar differences with their physiology. We can consider ourselves unique and special and be pleased that someone up there isn't just punching out little people using the same boring cookie cutter. (hugs) ~Shan~

Hugs
Jamie
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on June 14, 2013, 05:40:39 pm
Hi, am new. I have been reading so hard in this Androgyne section that I am afraid my computer chair has permanently fused to my rear. I'm glad to be here.

Still struggling with language. As best I understand, please correct me and I am so sorry if I offend anyone with how I get things wrong: androgyne fits me because I have strongly marked gender characteristics of both "men" and "women." FAAB. My mother didn't take DES, she once told me a little too triumphantly apropos of not much, but I suspect she said it because she did take another one of the medications in play in the late 60s/early 70s. I'm trying to find out while I still can, but she is twitchy as hell about the subject. Maybe high-T female is the best medical description I will ever find.

I have a lifelong stable gender identity, as much as you can have when you don't know what to call it-- I don't swing from feeling male to female to male over time so as I understand it, I am not bigender. Female-only social and work environments don't work, I trainwreck if I don't take a vow of silence. I'm better off functioning even in an otherwise all-male setting, because I can grasp the social logics and participate meaningfully in the group.

The first thing I've done to stop being, well, not-me was to withdraw from women-only social and work commitments. It was painful but I am feeling 10x better just from this one change.

I have struggled to hide a lot of my male physical characteristics, to be more accepted, and it is getting harder as I age and I am getting old and cranky and don't want to do it any more. I'm tall and v shaped. Carrying a high bodyweight bulked my middle and lower body and made me read more cisfemale, but for health reasons I have had to let that go. And as I have, losing passing privilege with every pound, all these issues have gotten more acute... helping to bring me here.

I really enjoy weightlifting but have had gender freakouts over the years over how quickly I bulk and how much I can lift on a minimal training schedule. Putting on muscle makes it harder to pass as cisgendered, and everyone at the gym gets upset for different reasons.

I get read from time to time as a cross-dressing man, and this is not safe where I'm living. So I try harder to dress to make sure I read as a woman, except that I can push myself into some kind of horrible panic when the illusion collapses. Putting on only very feminine clothes does not help, it seems to make my andro or male bone structure and muscle pop forward all the more and I look in the mirror and see only a man. I seem happiest with a balance of male and female clothing items.

The second thing I did to transition into wherever I am going, androgyne, was to dye my hair an unnatural color. It's not that I think androgynes properly have funny-colored hair. But it's been a helpful misdirection, it gives people something to look at that is admittedly obviously strange, and it kind of derails their thought process about not being able to place my gender or that I might oh horror be a cross-dressed man. And then I found a color I fell in love with, and it really looks like me somehow.

I don't hate my female bits, and I don't even hate my big breasts. I don't think I could bind successfully, but have not really wanted to except when hoping to avoid sexual harassment. I refuse to fault my boobs for how sick our society is around, well, boobs, and gender policing.

My female parts feel a bit random to me at times, especially the big breasts because people get so excited about them. I've gotten attached (ha!) and would be sad to see them go. I would fit socially better as a FTM and have considered it purely as an answer to the social misery of fitting in so badly with ciswomen... but I've never had the body dysphoria about my pink bits that FTMs describe, or a longing for male social roles.

The upshot is, I'm strange, not-female in a way that gives some people fits, and I think I'm just fine. The world has some serious problems around gender though, and I have to navigate those.

I think you are "just fine" too.  We are all unique ... in our own way.   ;)  :D

This is a place to discuss how we cope thrive being non-binary.

Reedling, don't worry too much about labels.  The way I see it, labels are for other people so they can begin to comprehend our being.

Glad to have you here.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: blue on June 15, 2013, 05:54:10 am
Thank you Shantel, Jamiep, and Jamie D. Such lovely people here, helping me think through all this stuff. Thank you.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on June 20, 2013, 09:02:50 pm
Hi, am new. I have been reading so hard in this Androgyne section that I am afraid my computer chair has permanently fused to my rear. I'm glad to be here.

Still struggling with language. As best I understand, please correct me and I am so sorry if I offend anyone with how I get things wrong: androgyne fits me because I have strongly marked gender characteristics of both "men" and "women." FAAB. My mother didn't take DES, she once told me a little too triumphantly apropos of not much, but I suspect she said it because she did take another one of the medications in play in the late 60s/early 70s. I'm trying to find out while I still can, but she is twitchy as hell about the subject. Maybe high-T female is the best medical description I will ever find.

I have a lifelong stable gender identity, as much as you can have when you don't know what to call it-- I don't swing from feeling male to female to male over time so as I understand it, I am not bigender. Female-only social and work environments don't work, I trainwreck if I don't take a vow of silence. I'm better off functioning even in an otherwise all-male setting, because I can grasp the social logics and participate meaningfully in the group.

SNIP

Hey Reedling, Shan has been doing all the heavy lifting here, but I thought I might toss in my 2-cents worth.

Those with intersex conditions (be they genetic, developmental, or environment) certainly can, and often do identify as "non-binary." 

Let me drop in a definition from the Queer Dictionary

Queers love umbrella terms, because they are flexible and can overlap. Non-binary is another umbrella term and is considered to be under the transgender umbrella. When discussing trans* issues and you want to be clear that you’re including non-binary folk, it’s typed out as “trans*” (note the asterisk).

“Binary” refers to the western binary gender system of man/woman. People who are non-binary identify, at some point in time, as neither a man nor a woman. It’s possible to identify as a woman, for example, and as genderqueer at the same time. It’s possible to identify as a woman sometimes and as androgyne other times. Identifying as both binary genders is generally referred to as bigender or genderfluid, depending on that individual’s identity. These are both considered non-binary identities.

Some other non-binary identities are genderqueer, genderfluid, bigender, neutrois, androgyne, two-spirit (this is an identity reserved for the indigenous and goes beyond the western understanding of sex and gender, so it’s best to ask before making assumptions, as always), etc.

Usage

Non-binary is an adjective but is unlike other identity-related terms in that it’s not ever really used an a noun.

Examples:

    “I’m not sure if there is a term for my gender, but I know it’s non-binary.”
    “This is a space for non-binary folks only, please.”


"Androgyne" is another term that has multiple meanings and usages.  If you look at the roots, "andro" (male) plus "gyn" (female), you get the idea that you have a blending or ambiguity of sexes or genders.  I believe the term was originally used in the medical sense as a synonym for "hermaphrodite."

Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ritual-object on June 20, 2013, 10:59:35 pm
Hello everyone! I am brand new to posting here, but I have been reading the forums avidly for some time.

I'm 23. During my life I've lived as a boy and as a girl (man and woman don't seem right since I'm so young), but both eventually felt uncomfortable. These days I present as androgynously as possible. I'm pretty cagey about my assigned gender because I feel like people put a lot of meaning on it that isn't there. (I may not be able to control people's reactions, but I can control the information they get!)

You could say I'm in the middle of transition or maybe at the end of it. I took hormones for several years, then stopped. I may take them again. I have one surgery under my belt and one more to go (this August!) before I feel like I'll be done with them. I've considered others but may never get them. After this next one, I want to work on finding nonsurgical ways to alter my body and come to terms with it. In most ways I like where my body is at now except that I am trying to lose some weight and gain some muscle through kind of a lifestyle change, but that's a whole nother topic!

I have a hard time trying to live in a gender space that doesn't exist in my society. But I think it was harder to try and live as someone I wasn't. I think my biggest problem is feeling very lonely, which I guess is why I finally joined these forums!

Anyway, other than all that, I love to cook, draw, and study religions. I watch a LOT of horror movies. I also volunteer a lot at my local LGBT resource center. (This is one of the main things in my life that helps me feel less lonely!) I also like to sew sometimes and make my own clothes when I can.

I'm very shy but I look forward to chatting with y'all in the future. :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on June 21, 2013, 08:57:19 am
Hello everyone! I am brand new to posting here, but I have been reading the forums avidly for some time.

I'm 23. During my life I've lived as a boy and as a girl (man and woman don't seem right since I'm so young), but both eventually felt uncomfortable. These days I present as androgynously as possible. I'm pretty cagey about my assigned gender because I feel like people put a lot of meaning on it that isn't there. (I may not be able to control people's reactions, but I can control the information they get!)


I'm very shy but I look forward to chatting with y'all in the future. :)

Welcome "Ritual" you'll notice I highlighted your comment, you get a resounding yes on that one hon, good plan!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Adreni on June 24, 2013, 11:49:06 am
Hey there. My chosen name is Tal (or Tala depending on the day I suppose). I'm born male, psychologically androgynous with some variance, usually male lean, especially in behavior. I'm looking into getting estrogen supplements, but I'm not sure about them if they'll affect my reproduction or sexuality.

My dissonance helps define me, as it highlights who I am versus what I am, but it is certainly not central to me.

First and foremost, I am a Transhumanist and Egoist: I seek melody between man, nature and machine and the enhancement of humankind and the individual self through technology in and around us. I believe that the Ego - the self - is the most important part of a person's existence, as one cannot help or benefit others without the self.

I am looking forward to my coming journey to Redmond, Washington State to attend college at Digipen Institute of Technology. My mate and I are in an open, long-distance relationship.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on June 24, 2013, 12:06:30 pm
Hey there. My chosen name is Tal (or Tala depending on the day I suppose). I'm born male, psychologically androgynous with some variance, usually male lean, especially in behavior.

The hardest part of my dissonance is by far my voice.

Welcome Adreni aka Tal (Tala), you've landed in the right place! Tell us more about yourself and about your voice that seems to bother you so.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on June 24, 2013, 12:13:14 pm
Hello everyone! I am brand new to posting here, but I have been reading the forums avidly for some time.

I'm 23. During my life I've lived as a boy and as a girl (man and woman don't seem right since I'm so young), but both eventually felt uncomfortable. These days I present as androgynously as possible. I'm pretty cagey about my assigned gender because I feel like people put a lot of meaning on it that isn't there. (I may not be able to control people's reactions, but I can control the information they get!)

You could say I'm in the middle of transition or maybe at the end of it. I took hormones for several years, then stopped. I may take them again. I have one surgery under my belt and one more to go (this August!) before I feel like I'll be done with them. I've considered others but may never get them. After this next one, I want to work on finding nonsurgical ways to alter my body and come to terms with it. In most ways I like where my body is at now except that I am trying to lose some weight and gain some muscle through kind of a lifestyle change, but that's a whole nother topic!

I have a hard time trying to live in a gender space that doesn't exist in my society. But I think it was harder to try and live as someone I wasn't. I think my biggest problem is feeling very lonely, which I guess is why I finally joined these forums!

Anyway, other than all that, I love to cook, draw, and study religions. I watch a LOT of horror movies. I also volunteer a lot at my local LGBT resource center. (This is one of the main things in my life that helps me feel less lonely!) I also like to sew sometimes and make my own clothes when I can.

I'm very shy but I look forward to chatting with y'all in the future. :)

Welcome, ritual-object!  I too love to cook (much to my waist's discomfort) and like horror movies ... especially the cult classics.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on June 24, 2013, 12:16:33 pm
Hey there. My chosen name is Tal (or Tala depending on the day I suppose). I'm born male, psychologically androgynous with some variance, usually male lean, especially in behavior.

The hardest part of my dissonance is by far my voice.

Tal/Tala - I go by "Jamie" (a nickname I had as a child).  Like me, it goes both ways.  My "girl inside" struggles to overcome all that male conditioning.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Adreni on June 24, 2013, 01:37:35 pm
Tal/Tala - I go by "Jamie" (a nickname I had as a child).  Like me, it goes both ways.  My "girl inside" struggles to overcome all that male conditioning.

Come to think of it, I guess I prefer Tala. I just go with Tal the same way I tell people my legal name... because it's normal.

It wasn't too different for me at first. I kind of personified my feminine side at first, and then that fled when I accepted it as a contiguous part of me. Eventually my gender identity shattered and reformed.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Adreni on June 24, 2013, 01:42:36 pm
Welcome Adreni aka Tal (Tala), you've landed in the right place! Tell us more about yourself and about your voice that seems to bother you so.

Thank you~

Well, I kind of edited my original post... has more explanations as to who I am inside. But I accidentally edited out the part about my voice.

Well... my voice is masculine... painfully so... and stack that with my facial hair, you have a nice bit of depression. Thankfully one of my best friends got me some Maybelline lip gloss a few weeks ago. "Luxurious Lilac," a beautiful shade of violet with just the right amount of frill: Enough to make me feel a bit feminine, but not enough to create cognitive dissonance.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on June 24, 2013, 02:26:48 pm
Eventually my gender identity shattered and reformed.
Nicely put.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: SciNerdGirl on June 27, 2013, 11:40:41 pm
Hi Everybody,

I like to go by Janet when I'm in "girl mode" (which is not very often).  I have had questions about my gender since as long as I can remember.  There are times when I strongly associate with my masculine side, but I feel that I like myself better as female.  Unfortunately my life situation limits how much of my feminine side I'm able to express publicly.  For the longest time I have hated my gender confusion, but recently I have learned to accept it at least in private. 

While I would love to transition to something more feminine than I am now (maybe not fully female) through something like HRT or FFS (although not SRS), it is of course impossible to do while I'm still "in the closet" (I'm assuming there is no therapist in the world who would approve anything like HRT as long as I'm keeping my femininity under wraps).  Unfortunately my life circumstances will probably keep me there for ever.  The risks of "coming out" are just to great, there are far to many other people (family etc.) who depend on me (financially etc.) to risk rocking the boat.

Life is so confusing.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on June 27, 2013, 11:48:25 pm
Actually, you don't really need a therapist's "permission."  Though I think talking about things with a professional is often helpful, there are plenty of "informed consent" opportunities out there.

I believe we know ourselves better than any therapist, even one with a great deal of experience.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: EdekStaszek on June 27, 2013, 11:57:33 pm
I was lost and a witch made me come here, i'm trapped here.
please help me.

Ahem.

Hello, I am ZaidaZadkiel although lately I'm considering changing the name to a more natural sounding female name, for legal purposes.
I am currently 27 years old, and live somewhere in hell, Mexico.

I like doing watercolors and carvings in avocado seed and doing macrame bracelets and necklaces, for fun and profit.

As far as interesting things goes, that would be the most of it. Other than that, some of my beliefs are that i dont like god, there is no such thing as truth, I can figure everything on my own, asking for help is asking for troube and dogs are very good pets.

I used to like dinosaurs but not anymore since I found they were naked all the time. Not very refined. And they didn't wear top hats either, so I can't like dinosaurs anymore.

I am not random so much as try to spark an interesting reaction from people. I'm like that IRL too, and so far I haven't been punched in the face. Well I Have but that was not for trolling, but we were kinda drunk.

I am a little bundle of issues of which nobody could ever care or bother to help with, and even if somebody did, I fear I would suck this person into a little black hole of despair and mysery. I have learned things about life that I would rather not have learned. But hey, you've gotta make do with what you have, rite ?

I loooove complaining.
Specially I love complaining about the things I am doing.
What I don't like complaining about, is about things that can't be done anything. Because then it's just sad and frustrating.
But the things I can and am doing stuff about, it's fun and I feel that by complaining somebody could learn what I'm doing.
Though, still, theres not many people who would actually care.
And those who do, at least the ones I know they care, are more interested in seeing me naked than in having me do business and take over the world...

I sometimes think I'm not taken seriously online, but IRL im actually a very serious person.
I have a very stern face, like, I could tell you that the sky is red and many people would believe just because i look so sure of it.

...

And I love talking about myself, I could do it days in and days out!
Too bad most of what I say is just pure fabricated lies.
Okay, just wanted to talk about this, because we have a few things in common.
Okay, first, you've gotten punched in the face!? Ow! So have I, unfortunately :(. I got the police officer at the school to get onto him, and apparently, he pushes his (considerable) weight around. A lot.
Just wanted to point something out, you don't like dinosaurs because they are naked all the time? & Because they don't wear Top hats? and yet you like dogs, who don't do either of those. Tsk Tsk Tsk.
Last thing: I like complaining & talking (typing / writing mostly)
The end.
-[Insert name here]
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Cas on July 05, 2013, 12:01:50 pm
Hey I'm Cas
27. British. and I'm FAAB fluid (more masculine at the moment though).

...and still struggling to figure out how to express that in my life/inform my loved ones etc. But on the personal side, I don't think I've ever felt happier or more accepting of myself, so that's good. =) Just a little body dysphoria now and then when I really want to be presenting male.

Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on July 05, 2013, 01:24:08 pm
Hey I'm Cas
27. British. and I'm FAAB fluid (more masculine at the moment though).

...and still struggling to figure out how to express that in my life/inform my loved ones etc. But on the personal side, I don't think I've ever felt happier or more accepting of myself, so that's good. =) Just a little body dysphoria now and then when I really want to be presenting male.

Hey Cas welcome, you've landed in precisely the right place, consider yourself a member of a great family! Hoping to get to know you better as time goes on.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Cas on July 05, 2013, 01:35:41 pm
Hey Cas welcome, you've landed in precisely the right place, consider yourself a member of a great family! Hoping to get to know you better as time goes on.

Thank you! Happy to be here. =)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: jacqueline on July 07, 2013, 05:14:15 pm
Hi everyone,

I'm Jacqueline/Jake.  95% of the time the world sees me as 'Jake' but there are times when I get to be Jacqueline. (Thank god for cross-dressing!)

A little about me and why I'm here: I've felt throughout much of my life that I would have been much happier if I had been born a girl and mostly kept these feelings to myself until 4-5 years ago.  Since then I've divorced and gone through a few relationships, but happily I've slowly been pushing the envelope as to how I present to the world.  Most days now I do wear women's clothing, although they are more gender neutral than dresses (jeans, t-shirts, cowl necks, cardigans, etc.).  Thankfully I get little attention for doing this, even living in the Midwest!  Anyway, I thought I'd join and see if I could find some like-minded souls to talk about these things with as I've been reading the forums on and off for those 4-5 years and see plenty of good people here.  Anyway, I look forward to meeting and getting to know all of you.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on July 07, 2013, 05:52:34 pm
Hi Jacqueline/Jake.

I was exactly where you were about a year ago. What you wrote could precisely apply to me. I found these boards amazingly helpful, and the people here have been very accepting and insightful.

I ended up tossing aside the male part and I'm now living full-time as a female, but of course you will need to find your own path. Susan's is an excellent place for discovering who you are and what you need.

Welcome.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on July 07, 2013, 05:59:57 pm
Hi everyone,

I'm Jacqueline/Jake.  95% of the time the world sees me as 'Jake' but there are times when I get to be Jacqueline. (Thank god for cross-dressing!)

A little about me and why I'm here: I've felt throughout much of my life that I would have been much happier if I had been born a girl and mostly kept these feelings to myself until 4-5 years ago.  Since then I've divorced and gone through a few relationships, but happily I've slowly been pushing the envelope as to how I present to the world.  Most days now I do wear women's clothing, although they are more gender neutral than dresses (jeans, t-shirts, cowl necks, cardigans, etc.).  Thankfully I get little attention for doing this, even living in the Midwest!  Anyway, I thought I'd join and see if I could find some like-minded souls to talk about these things with as I've been reading the forums on and off for those 4-5 years and see plenty of good people here.  Anyway, I look forward to meeting and getting to know all of you.

Welcome Jacqueline!
                   You'll fit right in here, you and I are on the same page as far as dress mode goes.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: jacqueline on July 08, 2013, 10:26:51 am
Thanks to both of you, Suzi and Shantel.  It's nice to know people are where I'm at now and are also father down the road.  Thank you both for your kind words, I look forward to seeing more of both of you here in the future.

Jacqueline
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: GQandi on July 11, 2013, 11:23:38 pm
Tell everyone some of why you are here (or not)
Simple introduction if you care to
I am here to meet like minded people and learn to better understand myself. As newly out I still need the support to accept and understand myself. Great forum btw.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: wanderingamoeba on July 17, 2013, 08:06:16 pm
Hi. I'm a genderqueer/transmasculinish gentlebutch who's been out to friends and family for almost two years (gender-wise, anyway...four-and-a-half years out as varying degrees of not-straight), but is just starting to consider the possibility of looking into starting T. Maybe. I don't know. Looking for information, and always on the lookout for communities to get involved in.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: black_moon_dust on July 17, 2013, 11:18:10 pm
Name is Nicholas, am 24. Moved to Texas to escape fam..they dont understand and are not exactly well into listening to what i have to say, they honestly think "Im killing myself" by wanting to transition. Its to not be brought up anytime during a conversation with them or they get furious, shout, and then leave the room.. I tried explaining it to my mother back two years ago in more depth..in the end she just assumed me crazy. So i moved 8 hours away to try and make it on my own. This decision has made contact with them..even less than what I had before. (They've been aware of my wishes to transition since i was about 14. and yet ignored the therapists I had seen, advices on what they should do to help me)

I find while most the time i show more masculine behavior, i still have things i find adorable. I still wear make-up from time to time (Black eye liner), I like boots and high heeled boots, some feminine small jackets and having my hair long than short. Most the time i wear boys clothing (im so small i wear the largest sizes from the little boys department) XD Other times, when i feel like dressing up, i wear more mens skinny jeans with a button down shirt, vest, high heeled boots,make-up on, and my hair styled.  With my hair long or short, i get called a boy and a girl thru out the day (happens a lot at work). Even when i tell ppl i am a boy, they just simply smile and tell me Im adorable (yet to get out of that state lol) I pack (love my packer and packing shorts) and bind. Ive been told atm, my voice is that of a young boy and wish for it too deepen on hormone therapy plus get some facial hair growing in.

If things work out, i might be starting hormone therapy on the 29th of this month. This will be the first doc visit, and one i have been trying to get for the past 6 years.

I wish to find people more like me, so i dont feel alone.

Ummm think thats it
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: black_moon_dust on July 18, 2013, 09:00:37 pm
Thanks @ JulieR

Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on July 19, 2013, 10:53:11 am
Name is Nicholas, am 24. Moved to Texas to escape fam..they dont understand and are not exactly well into listening to what i have to say, they honestly think "Im killing myself" by wanting to transition. Its to not be brought up anytime during a conversation with them or they get furious, shout, and then leave the room.. I tried explaining it to my mother back two years ago in more depth..in the end she just assumed me crazy. So i moved 8 hours away to try and make it on my own. This decision has made contact with them..even less than what I had before. (They've been aware of my wishes to transition since i was about 14. and yet ignored the therapists I had seen, advices on what they should do to help me)

I find while most the time i show more masculine behavior, i still have things i find adorable. I still wear make-up from time to time (Black eye liner), I like boots and high heeled boots, some feminine small jackets and having my hair long than short. Most the time i wear boys clothing (im so small i wear the largest sizes from the little boys department) XD Other times, when i feel like dressing up, i wear more mens skinny jeans with a button down shirt, vest, high heeled boots,make-up on, and my hair styled.  With my hair long or short, i get called a boy and a girl thru out the day (happens a lot at work). Even when i tell ppl i am a boy, they just simply smile and tell me Im adorable (yet to get out of that state lol) I pack (love my packer and packing shorts) and bind. Ive been told atm, my voice is that of a young boy and wish for it too deepen on hormone therapy plus get some facial hair growing in.

If things work out, i might be starting hormone therapy on the 29th of this month. This will be the first doc visit, and one i have been trying to get for the past 6 years.

I wish to find people more like me, so i dont feel alone.

Ummm think thats it

Sounds like a huge case of androgyny at this point, you're sure welcome here hon. We have a mix from A - Z in our little corner, glad to see you take control of your own life, so many have a difficult time making the move.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on July 19, 2013, 10:55:00 am
Hi. I'm a genderqueer/transmasculinish gentlebutch who's been out to friends and family for almost two years (gender-wise, anyway...four-and-a-half years out as varying degrees of not-straight), but is just starting to consider the possibility of looking into starting T. Maybe. I don't know. Looking for information, and always on the lookout for communities to get involved in.

Welcome hon, you're in good company here!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: wanderingamoeba on July 19, 2013, 12:52:48 pm
Thanks much for the welcome, JulieR and Shantel!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Taka on July 24, 2013, 12:58:17 pm
welcome, new members!

doing it the easy way, since i'm only half here...

i'm sure we'll meet once in a while, if you guys decide to stay. i recommend this place for people trying to figure out who or what they are, since there's no real need to be anything but yourself. at least in this part of the forums, i'm not too sure about those other parts, but the guys and girls there seem to be friendly at least, and helpful.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on July 24, 2013, 01:45:07 pm
Hello all my new non-binary friends!  With the new release on the site, I have been a little negligent of this particular topic, so I apologize.  I will be back with some proper greetings shortly.

For our new members, please take the time to review a few things that will help you navigate the site:


When you get to 15 posts, new aspects of the site will open to you, one of which is being able to use the site's personal messaging system.

If you need any help with modifying your profile, for instance, to add an avatar, just shoot me a PM at that time.  I come on the site almost every day, for at least a little while.

Any moderator can help you out in that respect, but I like to make myself available to my fellow non-binary members.  We are sort of a minority within a minority, and are not as well understood as some of the other TGs.  (But as a group, we are a heck of a lot more fun than those FtMs or Mtfs  :o - ssshhh, don't let them know I said that!!)  >:-)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: black_moon_dust on July 24, 2013, 09:49:43 pm
@ Shantel

Thanks :)

It was a tough decision as far as moving away from family. I love them even if they dislike talking about it and say hurtful things of my plans. I see what i am doing as helping myself..not hurting. Oh thank goodness, someone can tell me about it..i was beginning to think i was a freak cause even though i wanted some Hormone Therapy to give me a bit deeper voice and facial hair..i still have the desire to glamour up more femininely..got told by one person that made me a freak of a transgender cause i should be wanting to be all masculine..so they confused me a bit.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on July 25, 2013, 08:46:06 am
@ Shantel

Thanks :)

It was a tough decision as far as moving away from family. I love them even if they dislike talking about it and say hurtful things of my plans. I see what i am doing as helping myself..not hurting. Oh thank goodness, someone can tell me about it..i was beginning to think i was a freak cause even though i wanted some Hormone Therapy to give me a bit deeper voice and facial hair..i still have the desire to glamour up more femininely..got told by one person that made me a freak of a transgender cause i should be wanting to be all masculine..so they confused me a bit.

You'd fit right into this thread nicely "Androgyne Subtleties" because you and I share the same mindset concerning appearance and dress mode as a projection of who we are and how we self identify.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: black_moon_dust on July 25, 2013, 10:30:49 am
@ Shantel

Thats cool to know i fit along with another.  :D
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on August 07, 2013, 12:02:49 pm
I read your entire post CaseyB, it wasn't difficult at all. It has the spirit and all of the elements of most of the rest of our lives as well, not to say that you aren't unique, but that we will all be able to relate with you on many levels. It is so typical of cis women to want us to behave and project thus and so, and I find it hard to buy into the idea that they didn't have a lot of huge vibes going into the relationship, after all cis women are generally much more intuitive about little nuances in dress and behavior than are cis males. So though you were in love at one point, you are both still young and can move on with your lives as you see fit. Welcome to the Forest!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on August 07, 2013, 07:02:09 pm
I think its true about her having vibes going into the relationship, I think she had another quality a lot of women seem to have, the desire and belief that it is possible to "fix" someone.  I think she saw me as a man who needed help being manly like I didn't know how.  Well it didn't work, even with me going along with it.  Unfortunately I know how to be a man, I am just not very good at it.  She said sometimes she thinks I'm gay and just don't know it yet or that I am just trying to hide it.  I don't know if she actually believes it or if that was some sort of tactic to try and make me prove that I'm not. 

Its crazy to me that I felt that I should change.  Love is a powerful drug. I'm determined now to not give up on being myself even for love.  However, loneliness is sometimes just as powerful, hope I can resist going back into hiding.

So very true especially on that which I highlighted. I'm still married though I still think that she married me for those same reasons and she felt sorry for me. Though that has changed over the years.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Kim 526 on August 07, 2013, 07:33:54 pm
Hi, I'm a post-op MTF. I had SRS with Dr. Brassard in 2001. I do not dress or present as female, but I do have an androgynous presentation. I usually wear lots of leather: jacket, half boots, do rag, gloves. I have long hair and wear jeans every day. I'm on a small maintenance dose of estradiol by patch (that's OK to say on here isn't it?). My face is completely smooth from hundreds of hours of electrolysis back in the 90's and '00s. Being in a very liberal work environment I can dress however I please. The big thing is, my family is not uncomfortable with my presentation now, like they were when I was living as F. It wasn't for me plus it freaked them out. I gave it 5 years, and then one day I just said screw it, I've had my surgery, I feel whole, who cares how I dress if it's going to make my loved ones comfortable. They mean a lot to me and it was a small sacrifice if it makes them feel better about Dad. I understand that the need to live as F is a life-or-death situation for very many MTFs (and as M for very many FTMs), but it wasn't that way for me. Living as F was a pain for me compared to now. I'd rather be how I am, somewhere on the spectrum, and we're all happy. That's how I've been since 2004.  I play in a rock band (guitar & keyboards) and have a career in telecom. I think this is a great forum.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on August 07, 2013, 07:40:32 pm
Hi, I'm a post-op MTF. I had SRS with Dr. Brassard in 2001. I do not dress or present as female, but I do have an androgynous presentation. I usually wear lots of leather: jacket, half boots, do rag, gloves. I have long hair and wear jeans every day. I'm on a small maintenance dose of estradiol by patch (that's OK to say on here isn't it?). My face is completely smooth from hundreds of hours of electrolysis back in the 90's and '00s. Being in a very liberal work environment I can dress however I please. The big thing is, my family is not uncomfortable with my presentation now, like they were when I was living as F. It wasn't for me plus it freaked them out. I gave it 5 years, and then one day I just said screw it, I've had my surgery, I feel whole, who cares how I dress if it's going to make my loved ones comfortable. They mean a lot to me and it was a small sacrifice if it makes them feel better about Dad. I understand that the need to live as F is a life-or-death situation for very many MTFs (and as M for very many FTMs), but it wasn't that way for me. Living as F was a pain for me compared to now. I'd rather be how I am, somewhere on the spectrum, and we're all happy. That's how I've been since 2004.  I play in a rock band (guitar & keyboards) and have a career in telecom. I think this is a great forum.

Welcome Kim, great post in my estimation, you and I are on exactly the same page as if I had written your comments myself. Only difference between us is I'm post orchiectomy, other than that everything is the same. You might enjoy reading "Androgyne Subtleties" and add your own commentary in there.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Taka on August 08, 2013, 04:38:01 am
welcome kim and caseyb!

@ kim: i think there are many women who are comfortable with a female body but not a feminine presentation. you might be one of them? there's luckily no law or social norm that women have to present all that feminine with dresses and corsets and... only weird thing is that they seem to expect trans women to be all about the presentation rather than the right hormone level and body parts.

@ caseyb: that's a loooong post. try breaking it into a few paragraphs next time? it will make it much easier to read, even if you make it longer than that.
interesting to hear that you chickened out. i did the same when i came to a point where i knew i couldn't live with myself the way i was, but still couldn't seem to find that very strong identification with the opposite sex. i'd love to be a man, but not if that's what it's all about. and the only thing i don't like about being a woman are the odd expectations (actually more from women than men. why do women have to have so strong opinions about how everyone should be?) and these two lumps on my chest that seriously get in my way some times. i'm somewhat too butch for a woman and love dresses too much for a man. at least i managed to stop caring about my mom's comments that i dress too masculine, it doesn't mean that i don't look good in it, just that i look more feminine in other clothes, but that's not something i want to look all the time. if you manage to find a feminine style that suits you, i'm sure most people will think you're totally weird for wearing female clothes, but not much more than that. i once saw a guy who looked totally cool in a skirt, and that japanese visual kei also has some styles that should be fairly acceptable, like emo once was, if you just pretend that's your reason if people ask too many questions.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Taka on August 10, 2013, 12:12:07 pm
I'm not looking to pretend anymore.  If someone doesn't like the way I want to dress or act, they can either choose to leave or put up with it. :D
people are supposed to judge a person by their inner qualities, not the clothes that they wear. and anyone who's too superficial to realize that isn't necessarily worth changing the way you dress for.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on August 10, 2013, 12:33:17 pm
people are supposed to judge a person by their inner qualities, not the clothes that they wear. and anyone who's too superficial to realize that isn't necessarily worth changing the way you dress for.

+1 I totally agree! When I was young I was impressed by outward appearances often times to discover that it was nothing more than a sensual deception, perhaps pretty packaging. Now that I am older I look more on the character of the inner person and that holds much more weight for me.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on August 10, 2013, 01:48:29 pm
Hey Casey.  I can so relate to your experiences, except in my day and similar age, gay, les, andro, emo, goth, were not things that were even on the radar.  You just didn't do it.  You conformed.  You "manned up" (as a natal male).

But I already knew by my early teens that I wasn't like the rest of the boys.  Fortunately, I was a pretty big kid, to no one messed with me.

Not understanding my feeling led to many years of trying to cope the best I could.  Looking back, I can't help but think how things would have been different if I had the resources and knowledge then, that I do now.  :-\
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on August 10, 2013, 01:53:28 pm
Hi, I'm a post-op MTF. I had SRS with Dr. Brassard in 2001. I do not dress or present as female, but I do have an androgynous presentation. I usually wear lots of leather: jacket, half boots, do rag, gloves. I have long hair and wear jeans every day. I'm on a small maintenance dose of estradiol by patch (that's OK to say on here isn't it?). My face is completely smooth from hundreds of hours of electrolysis back in the 90's and '00s. Being in a very liberal work environment I can dress however I please. The big thing is, my family is not uncomfortable with my presentation now, like they were when I was living as F. It wasn't for me plus it freaked them out. I gave it 5 years, and then one day I just said screw it, I've had my surgery, I feel whole, who cares how I dress if it's going to make my loved ones comfortable. They mean a lot to me and it was a small sacrifice if it makes them feel better about Dad. I understand that the need to live as F is a life-or-death situation for very many MTFs (and as M for very many FTMs), but it wasn't that way for me. Living as F was a pain for me compared to now. I'd rather be how I am, somewhere on the spectrum, and we're all happy. That's how I've been since 2004.  I play in a rock band (guitar & keyboards) and have a career in telecom. I think this is a great forum.

That is a fantastic attitude and a great approach to being who you are.  To me, it matters not how I present.  Even if I even had SRS (not likely, all things considered), I would be most comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt! 

Glad to have you aboard!  :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on August 10, 2013, 02:53:29 pm
welcome kim and caseyb!

@ kim: i think there are many women who are comfortable with a female body but not a feminine presentation. you might be one of them? there's luckily no law or social norm that women have to present all that feminine with dresses and corsets and... only weird thing is that they seem to expect trans women to be all about the presentation rather than the right hormone level and body parts.

@ caseyb: that's a loooong post. try breaking it into a few paragraphs next time? it will make it much easier to read, even if you make it longer than that.
interesting to hear that you chickened out. i did the same when i came to a point where i knew i couldn't live with myself the way i was, but still couldn't seem to find that very strong identification with the opposite sex. i'd love to be a man, but not if that's what it's all about. and the only thing i don't like about being a woman are the odd expectations (actually more from women than men. why do women have to have so strong opinions about how everyone should be?) and these two lumps on my chest that seriously get in my way some times. i'm somewhat too butch for a woman and love dresses too much for a man. at least i managed to stop caring about my mom's comments that i dress too masculine, it doesn't mean that i don't look good in it, just that i look more feminine in other clothes, but that's not something i want to look all the time. if you manage to find a feminine style that suits you, i'm sure most people will think you're totally weird for wearing female clothes, but not much more than that. i once saw a guy who looked totally cool in a skirt, and that japanese visual kei also has some styles that should be fairly acceptable, like emo once was, if you just pretend that's your reason if people ask too many questions.

Good one, Taka!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on August 11, 2013, 01:05:40 pm
Hah! I was asked where my introduction was.
So I looked back. Never did put one up, did I...
If I put one up that dates back to the start of this topic...
I don't know how to introduce myself.
Maybe that's it. Maybe not. I don't know.
It's complicated? Boring?
It would be to long, like most of my posts?
I'll just leave it alone.
I'm pretty sure that's why I never did it in the first place.
What a long strange trip it's been.
Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on August 11, 2013, 01:28:17 pm
Ativan your avatar photo is hawt!  :eusa_clap:
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Gina_Z on August 17, 2013, 11:33:44 am
Hi all! My name is Gina. I am gender fluid. I'm mostly androgynous, occasionally guy-like, and often feminine. Not pure pink, but I don't think most girls are 100% pink. I think my state of mind is more in the feminine direction. That's probably why I love the arts, painting, writing music, and have an interest in a lot of girlie stuff. I dream of being woman full time and sometimes dreams come true.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on August 17, 2013, 11:48:59 am
Hi all! My name is Gina. I am gender fluid. I'm mostly androgynous, occasionally guy-like, and often feminine. Not pure pink, but I don't think most girls are 100% pink. I think my state of mind is more in the feminine direction. That's probably why I love the arts, painting, writing music, and have an interest in a lot of girlie stuff. I dream of being woman full time and sometimes dreams come true.

Hi Gina, you came to the right place, hope we get to know you better as time goes on, you are in good company here!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Kim 526 on August 17, 2013, 12:06:31 pm
Hi Gina! This is an awesome forum, very welcoming to all. I've only been a member a short while but have found some real gems that others have written, which helped me understand a little more about myself.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Taka on August 17, 2013, 02:44:23 pm
welcome gina!

your dream sounds wonderful, i hope it comes true.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Gina_Z on August 17, 2013, 07:18:02 pm
Hi, I'm a post-op MTF. I had SRS with Dr. Brassard in 2001. I do not dress or present as female, but I do have an androgynous presentation. I usually wear lots of leather: jacket, half boots, do rag, gloves. I have long hair and wear jeans every day. I'm on a small maintenance dose of estradiol by patch (that's OK to say on here isn't it?). My face is completely smooth from hundreds of hours of electrolysis back in the 90's and '00s. Being in a very liberal work environment I can dress however I please. The big thing is, my family is not uncomfortable with my presentation now, like they were when I was living as F. It wasn't for me plus it freaked them out. I gave it 5 years, and then one day I just said screw it, I've had my surgery, I feel whole, who cares how I dress if it's going to make my loved ones comfortable. They mean a lot to me and it was a small sacrifice if it makes them feel better about Dad. I understand that the need to live as F is a life-or-death situation for very many MTFs (and as M for very many FTMs), but it wasn't that way for me. Living as F was a pain for me compared to now. I'd rather be how I am, somewhere on the spectrum, and we're all happy. That's how I've been since 2004.  I play in a rock band (guitar & keyboards) and have a career in telecom. I think this is a great forum.
Kim, I just stumbled upon your interesting intro. I like your SRS followed by adrogynous presentation. I would like to have a similar scenario for myself, maybe with some added fem days, when I'm in that mood. I have not transitioned yet, but I can really empathize with your story.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Kim 526 on August 18, 2013, 08:46:14 am
Hi Gina! It wasn't by design, it's just the way everything worked out. I consider myself a lucky litttle creature because it could have turned out bad. When I was out MTF, I was at a bar with 3 other girls and was assaulted by 2 guys (won). None of my chickens#*t friends would raise a finger to help me. As a result I didn't go to a bar for months after that (don't drink much anyway). But now, betwixt and somewhere between, I have more confidence than ever in myself.

Things get better and can turn out better than you ever dreamed.
Hugs, Kim   = )
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on August 18, 2013, 09:02:11 am
Hi all! My name is Gina. I am gender fluid. I'm mostly androgynous, occasionally guy-like, and often feminine. Not pure pink, but I don't think most girls are 100% pink. I think my state of mind is more in the feminine direction. That's probably why I love the arts, painting, writing music, and have an interest in a lot of girlie stuff. I dream of being woman full time and sometimes dreams come true.

I said "Hi" to you in your main page introduction, but let me add, "Welcome to the Unicorn Forest" now.  We have a marvelous group of people who post here.  I love each and every one of them.  :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Gina_Z on August 18, 2013, 10:58:06 am
Hi! Thanks for the nice welcome. Good to be here!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: musicofthenight on August 18, 2013, 11:34:48 am
Hello.  I try to keep my legal name off the Internet, so just call me music.  Demisexual, masculine by habit, and I guess questioning-genderfluid too.

So first up, I have to acknowledge that there are lots and lots of people here far more courageous than I am, caught between bigotry and self doubt far worse than anything I deal with.  I have a lot of respect for them and as silly as it sounds I sometimes suspect I'm "not trans* enough."

(No one's makes me feel that way, it's just my self-doubt.)

I like my body.  And I can't honestly say "I'm not male."  Penis?  Check.  Attracted to women?  Sure, if they impress me on an emotional level.  I friend-zone masculine guys.  Oh, and I come from strict LGBT-phobic parents so it's sooooo tempting to let them keep thinking "he's straight, thank God he's not one of them queers.  Doesn't like porn?  What an angel!"

(Not quite.  I've been known to write it from time to time.)

The thing is ever since the puberty fairy came along, I've become less and less one of the guys.  More than anything it's like everyone else moved along, fit comfortably into adult gender roles, etc., etc.  It didn't help that I was pretty seriously depressed and suffering undiagnosed metabolic issues that very well could have messed with my hormones.

Through school, I was happiest in smart, creative, gender-mixed company: math, debate, music, drama.  But what I realize now is I probably got read gay.  Bitterly ironic, huh?  Of all things I'm not, "pretty twink seeking a big strong man" ranks just about furthest from the mark.

Hypothesis: my masculinity is just an act, into which I've been typecast.  It's not even a role I hate, just sometimes it's limiting.  I bet Nick Cage has days where he dreams of playing a serious badass in a serious movie (or just in a serious movie), or Jim Carey would maybe once not be Ace Ventura.

My heroic ideal, with the understanding that heroes are people not boys goes something like this.  I want be fun like Richard Feynman and brilliant like Ingrid Daubechies.  I want to follow my own beat like Nikola Tesla.  I want to stare down the darkness of the human soul like Flannery O'Connor and love like Fred Rogers.  I want to be the badass action-chick star of a Joss Whedon story, or conflicted and noble like O. S. Card's Andrew Wiggins, or just delightfully weird like Luna of the Potterverse.

And that's, more or less, who I am.  For now.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on August 18, 2013, 12:03:38 pm
Welcome Music! You are another adventurous soul sojourning through the Unicorn Forest!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Gina_Z on August 18, 2013, 12:14:55 pm
Kim, thank you for those warm thoughts!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: elementgreen on August 19, 2013, 04:46:53 pm
Hello, I'm Joseph :3 I'm comfortable with either male or female pronouns, so feel free to refer to me as either. I haven't really found a gender neutral name to work with yet.

I'm still a bit in limbo about how I feel about myself... I'm still trying to figure out both my gender and sexuality, as I've been in denial of many things for most of my life. I come from a strong Christian family, so I've always kind of been ashamed of some of my feelings, even carrying over when I went to Atheism. I seem to feel like both a male and female at times, and sometimes neither at all. To be honest I've always been afraid of being too masculine in both looks and attitude anyway, even when I claimed to be a purely heterosexual male. Most of the time I don't really notice when I behave or carry myself like a female, so hiding it always led to failure.

Now I'm pretty withdrawn and reclusive, so I suppose it's a lot harder to tell except for the way I carry myself. I seem to be able to balance my masculine side and feminine side these days. I hope to let go of that and find my true identity within the clutter in my head. Reading these posts has been very inspiring to say the least.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on August 19, 2013, 05:11:31 pm
Hello, I'm Joseph :3 I'm comfortable with either male or female pronouns, so feel free to refer to me as either. I haven't really found a gender neutral name to work with yet.

I'm still a bit in limbo about how I feel about myself... I'm still trying to figure out both my gender and sexuality, as I've been in denial of many things for most of my life. I come from a strong Christian family, so I've always kind of been ashamed of some of my feelings, even carrying over when I went to Atheism. I seem to feel like both a male and female at times, and sometimes neither at all. To be honest I've always been afraid of being too masculine in both looks and attitude anyway, even when I claimed to be a purely heterosexual male. Most of the time I don't really notice when I behave or carry myself like a female, so hiding it always led to failure.

Now I'm pretty withdrawn and reclusive, so I suppose it's a lot harder to tell except for the way I carry myself. I seem to be able to balance my masculine side and feminine side these days. I hope to let go of that and find my true identity within the clutter in my head. Reading these posts has been very inspiring to say the least.

Welcome Joseph, hopefully you will find some answers here, be encouraged that God loves you and wouldn't want you to live out your life in confusion and misery. ~Shan~
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Night Haven on August 19, 2013, 05:13:54 pm
*Waves* Hey again, everyone.
 
So I guess I should post here; in truth, I'm a lot of things, but androgynous with a masculine emphasis seems to fit darn well most of the time.
 
Why I'm here? I've been exploring options for transition lately and happened upon this site. It seemed very active and welcomed all genders, so I thought I'd do well to register. I'm glad I did.  ;)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Carter on August 19, 2013, 06:00:23 pm
Hi! For now I'll just say I'm Carter, and I guess I'm not really sure what I am at all.

I've been dwelling on my gender for around a year, and I figured the best place to ask for advice would be here, considering how welcoming the community seems. My parents tolerate the idea of <transgender people> at best, and I really don't want to risk my relationship with them by telling them or asking for help :/

I don't feel right saying "I'm a girl", or "I'm a boy", but I really do wish there was a word for the way I feel, so I'll stick with androgynous for now.  I try to blend masculine and feminine as far as my presentation goes, but there's only so much I can do with my parents supervising my shopping and steering me away from androgynous/masculine clothing.

I've never used a forum before (I'm not really even sure if I'm posting this right?), so I apologize in advance for any mistakes ;-;
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Kim 526 on August 19, 2013, 06:20:46 pm
Hi Night Haven & Carter,
Welcome! I've only been here about 2 weeks, and I think this forum is awesome. Everyone is positive and helpful, plus there are many informative posts.
Kim
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on August 29, 2013, 11:16:18 am
Hello, I'm Joseph :3 I'm comfortable with either male or female pronouns, so feel free to refer to me as either. I haven't really found a gender neutral name to work with yet.

I'm still a bit in limbo about how I feel about myself... I'm still trying to figure out both my gender and sexuality, as I've been in denial of many things for most of my life. I come from a strong Christian family, so I've always kind of been ashamed of some of my feelings, even carrying over when I went to Atheism. I seem to feel like both a male and female at times, and sometimes neither at all. To be honest I've always been afraid of being too masculine in both looks and attitude anyway, even when I claimed to be a purely heterosexual male. Most of the time I don't really notice when I behave or carry myself like a female, so hiding it always led to failure.

Now I'm pretty withdrawn and reclusive, so I suppose it's a lot harder to tell except for the way I carry myself. I seem to be able to balance my masculine side and feminine side these days. I hope to let go of that and find my true identity within the clutter in my head. Reading these posts has been very inspiring to say the least.

Hey Joseph!  Balance is good.  It is what I try to maintain in the interim.

You really have no reason to be ashamed of how you feel.  There is more and more medical research that points to dysphoria stemming from biochemical events that happened before you were ever born.  As who is to say that God didn't put a sweet feminine soul into your body?

I'm glad you introduced yourself here.  :)
You are among friends.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on August 29, 2013, 11:26:45 am
Hi! For now I'll just say I'm Carter, and I guess I'm not really sure what I am at all.

I've been dwelling on my gender for around a year, and I figured the best place to ask for advice would be here, considering how welcoming the community seems. My parents tolerate the idea of <transgender people> at best, and I really don't want to risk my relationship with them by telling them or asking for help :/

I don't feel right saying "I'm a girl", or "I'm a boy", but I really do wish there was a word for the way I feel, so I'll stick with androgynous for now.  I try to blend masculine and feminine as far as my presentation goes, but there's only so much I can do with my parents supervising my shopping and steering me away from androgynous/masculine clothing.

I've never used a forum before (I'm not really even sure if I'm posting this right?), so I apologize in advance for any mistakes ;-;

Hiya Carter!  Pleased to meet you.

We used to have a separate board for androgyne style.  There are some things that definitely give off a androgyne vibe, and are perfectly acceptable for the FAABs.  Jeans, boots, and button up shirts.  Sort of the western feel. And bright, bold colors.  And my personal favorite ... Hawaiian shirts!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on August 29, 2013, 11:27:57 am
I am going to repeat a post here, originally made to my friend, Sarah7 ...

Dearest Sarah,

I am afraid to say you are sadly confused.  Hawaiian shirts are the very acme of fashion taste.  Just look!

(http://images.squishwear.com/rednoumea.jpg)(http://www.highsnobiety.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/stussy-hawaiian-shirts-springsummer-2012-4.jpeg)(http://hawaiishirtcompany.com/images/products/thumb/temp/102c-yp-royal.jpg)

(http://www.alohashirtshop.com/images/ecomm/products/full/rjc-hawaiian-whales.jpg)(http://historypreservation.com/hpassociates/images/hawaiian_shirt_pineapplesm1.jpg)(http://hawaiishirtcompany.com/images/products/thumb/w415s-275-pink.jpg)

And just about anybody can wear them!

(http://babylonvintage.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/elvis_blue_hawaii.jpg)(http://i01.i.aliimg.com/img/pb/022/965/365/365965022_016.jpg)(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wUlcDNEJ4XM/Tq0Szsu8UKI/AAAAAAAAATg/TY1igj0klWM/s320/magnum-pi.jpg)(http://www.wolfgnards.com/media/blogs/photos/celebrities/chunk-hawaiian-shirt.jpg)(http://donglutsdinosaurs.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Hawaiian-Dino-Shirt4-679x1000.jpg)

I really should put this post in the Androgyne Style Forum!   ;)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on August 29, 2013, 11:36:11 am
For all the new denizens of the Forest, here are some helpful links to learn about the site:

Please be sure to review:


Contact me if you have any questions at all.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on August 29, 2013, 11:36:56 am
I had the neighbors over yesterday for BBQ and was wearing mine, so cool and breezy! Are you proud of me Jamie?
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on August 29, 2013, 01:30:03 pm
OK, I'll admit it. I own one and wear it on occasion.  :)
But it has a nice feminine cut to it. Not a straight sided one.
And it's a very tasteful design.
*Oh, alright, it's a Hawaiian shirt, and I like it, regardless.  :D
Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on August 29, 2013, 02:32:52 pm
OK, I'll admit it. I own one and wear it on occasion.  :)
But it has a nice feminine cut to it. Not a straight sided one.
And it's a very tasteful design.
*Oh, alright, it's a Hawaiian shirt, and I like it, regardless.  :D
Ativan

Uh-huh, confession is good for the soul!  ;D

I have to confess that I bought a 1960's era pair of Hawaiian swimming trunks all blue and white flowered just to have because todays's idea of men's style shorts and trunks cover most of the thigh as if they are ashamed of showing off a little thigh. I plan to get a color co-ordinated beach bra top to go with the shorts just on the off chance that I might go swimming some time in the future. Seems like it would be the perfect andro combo for my weird bi-gendered body.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on August 29, 2013, 03:53:59 pm
Hawaiian shirts. Urban Camouflage.  :D
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on August 29, 2013, 07:42:30 pm
I have to confess that I bought a 1960's era pair of Hawaiian swimming trunks all blue and white flowered just to have
Some surfer music by my favorite surfer band. The Mermen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1-p6tre1pE
Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on August 29, 2013, 09:01:45 pm
Lol great stuff, the old surfer "woody" takes me way back!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on August 31, 2013, 07:31:08 pm
Here you go all you hodads and gremmies ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lz97moE41Xo
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Mizukitty on September 19, 2013, 08:35:24 pm
Hi,

I'm new here. I was born male, and throughout my life I've always felt that I never fit in with a male crowd. Two years ago, I hit a point where I no longer felt completely comfortable as a complete male, however I can't make a claim that I'm female, since I don't have a point of comparison. At one point I figured I was extremely effeminate. Currently, I consider myself to be an Androgen, but I can't say for certainty. It's very confusing to place myself into a category. I've taken the COGIATI test, which returned an androgynous result, but I'm uncertain. All I can say for certain is that I'm not completely the gender in which my body reflects.

~Mizukitty
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Darkie on September 19, 2013, 08:42:55 pm
Hi,

I'm new here. I was born male, and throughout my life I've always felt that I never fit in with a male crowd. Two years ago, I hit a point where I no longer felt completely comfortable as a complete male, however I can't make a claim that I'm female, since I don't have a point of comparison. At one point I figured I was extremely effeminate. Currently, I consider myself to be an Androgen, but I can't say for certainty. It's very confusing to place myself into a category. I've taken the COGIATI test, which returned an androgynous result, but I'm uncertain. All I can say for certain is that I'm not completely the gender in which my body reflects.

~Mizukitty

Welcome Mizu! *hugs*
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Kia on September 19, 2013, 08:49:44 pm
Welcome Mizukitty! It sounds like you're in the right place. I started to identify as Androgyne for almost the same reason. I was sure I wasn't a guy and girl just didn't fit well either. It felt like trading a ill fitting shoe for an ill fitting sock. Hope you find what answers you're looking for here or you learn to live with the fun of questions. Anyway welcome and enjoy! ;D
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Taka on September 20, 2013, 01:50:49 am
welcome mizu!

i hope we'll see more of you, it's always nice when people decide to stay.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on September 20, 2013, 02:29:47 am
A warm welcome to you MizuKitty.

Here are some links to help you navigate the site:


Androgyny is an ages old condition.  It can have physical, biochemical, psychological, sociological, physiological, and/or emotional roots.  If you look at my avatar, a statue of Hermaphroditus, it will recall the ancient Greek myth(?) of an adolescent boy who became fused with a female.

Just get your feet wet on the boards.  This is your unique journey.  But I hope we cross paths!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on September 20, 2013, 10:25:20 am
Welcome Mizukitty!
            This is the right place for now, spend some time and read a few commentaries, perhaps you will see yourself in a more comforting light soon.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Gewaltraud on September 28, 2013, 02:35:35 pm
Moin!

I'm Waltraud (or Wally or Gewaltraud or whatever the fizzle you feel like calling me) and I'm 24 until next year gets me all confused again.

Brief, yet perhaps informative, tidbits:
*I consider myself to be a music junkie and genre Nazi, especially when concerning punk, post-punk, deathrock, goth, ska, darkwave, etc.

*Though I'm technically still an American citizen, I currently live in Hessen, Germany with my beautiful wife and dogter, where I plan to stay.

*I was born an XX female and identify as such for simplicity purposes, but if I had my way, I would be free of genitalia of any kind and identify as a martian of sorts.


Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Taka on September 28, 2013, 03:34:43 pm
welcome wal!

you might want to consider originating from another planet than mars. there are only macho men there...
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on September 28, 2013, 03:36:55 pm
Moin!

I'm Waltraud (or Wally or Gewaltraud or whatever the fizzle you feel like calling me) and I'm 24 until next year gets me all confused again.

Brief, yet perhaps informative, tidbits:
*I consider myself to be a music junkie and genre Nazi, especially when concerning punk, post-punk, deathrock, goth, ska, darkwave, etc.

*Though I'm technically still an American citizen, I currently live in Hessen, Germany with my beautiful wife and dogter, where I plan to stay.

*I was born an XX female and identify as such for simplicity purposes, but if I had my way, I would be free of genitalia of any kind and identify as a martian of sorts.

Martians are always welcome here Wally or whatever you prefer!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: LBoy on September 28, 2013, 04:59:01 pm
Hi there,
My name is L-Boy, but I'm also fine with my given name, Liz.  I am almost 50 years old and have had a lot of gender dysphoria throughout my life, but don't want to fully transition either.  This is my first day at this site and I'm thrilled to find it and this Androgyne thread.  It took me many years to realize that there were other realities besides male and female or FTM and MTF.  I feel at home.  I am planning top surgery this year to correct something that has been wrong for 40 years.  I love how my bottom parts work, so I have no intention to change that and Testosterone doesn't interest me either.  I'm pretty much being called anything gender wise except "lady".  I'm 5'9", husky, have broad shoulders and fit well into men's clothes so I'm content with just about everything except my chest.  Specifically, I'm interested in meeting/talking to other GQ folks who are considering or have had top surgery but are not fully transitioning to male.  Thank you for being here.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on September 28, 2013, 05:35:23 pm
Nice to meet you L-Boy!  Welcome   :)

We have several members here who are similar to you, such as Androgynoid.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on September 28, 2013, 05:39:35 pm
Moin!

I'm Waltraud (or Wally or Gewaltraud or whatever the fizzle you feel like calling me) and I'm 24 until next year gets me all confused again.

Brief, yet perhaps informative, tidbits:
*I consider myself to be a music junkie and genre Nazi, especially when concerning punk, post-punk, deathrock, goth, ska, darkwave, etc.

*Though I'm technically still an American citizen, I currently live in Hessen, Germany with my beautiful wife and dogter, where I plan to stay.

*I was born an XX female and identify as such for simplicity purposes, but if I had my way, I would be free of genitalia of any kind and identify as a martian of sorts.

Wie gehts Wally!  A warm southern California welcome to you as well   8)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on September 28, 2013, 07:14:45 pm
I'm 5'9", husky, have broad shoulders and fit well into men's clothes so I'm content with just about everything except my chest.  Specifically, I'm interested in meeting/talking to other GQ folks who are considering or have had top surgery but are not fully transitioning to male.  Thank you for being here.

You came to the right place LBoy, I'm sure there are at least a few dozen or so that have expressed the same criteria as you have. welcome to the family!  :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Gewaltraud on September 30, 2013, 02:00:33 am
Martians are always welcome here Wally or whatever you prefer!

But I thought women come from Mars and men come from Venus.  :icon_drunk:

I kid, I kid. Trust me, I would not refer to any place in this galaxy. I'm very sure I belong far, far away from here, but in the meantime, I might as well make myself comfortable.  :P
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Taka on September 30, 2013, 06:08:01 am
martian sounds like a male warrior because mythology... interesting to meet someone from a different galaxy.

i'm not even from this universe, though i've lived here for so long that i some times forget i'm not really human.
let's have fun together?
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Gewaltraud on September 30, 2013, 08:26:46 am
I haven't been here long enough to feel comfortable enough to claim I know the customs of earth folk, but if you're alright with social awkwardness, IT'S A DATE.  :eusa_dance:
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: WolfSpirit on October 01, 2013, 09:09:31 pm
Hi all I'm gender fluid, I identify as male most of the time rarely do I feel female. I'm pretty laid back and easy to get along with. Looking forward to getting to know people on here  :) :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Danielle Emmalee on October 01, 2013, 09:46:06 pm
I feel like making a new introduction post.  At the moment I identify as polygender.  I have 3 distinct genders and switch between them mostly at random but it can sometimes be influenced slightly.  No I'm not crazy, I don't dissociate, I don't have time-loss, I just don't have a static gender like most people, but its also not fluid.  I have a male part, a female part, and a monogender non-binary part.  Most of the time I don't have any body dysphoria, however I do suffer from another part of gender dysphoria and that is the social aspect of it, how I want other people to see me and interact with me.  As for pronouns, I pretty much hate the gender neutral ones, I'm happier with female pronouns, so although it's not ideal, it works.  I've given names to each of my parts because a name is pretty important to my identity and it bothers me to have a female name when I'm not female, a male name when I'm not male, and an androgynous name when I'm male or female.  So yeah, that's pretty much me.  If you want to read my original Androgyn Introduction, as Casey, its on page 21, my original introduction in the introductions section of the site is written by Alice.  Thanks, Bye

Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on October 01, 2013, 09:52:05 pm
Connor, I hardly knew you!  Welcome  :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on October 01, 2013, 09:53:40 pm
Welcome back Wolf. 
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Darkie on October 01, 2013, 10:12:30 pm
I feel like making a new introduction post.  At the moment I identify as polygender.  I have 3 distinct genders and switch between them mostly at random but it can sometimes be influenced slightly.  No I'm not crazy, I don't dissociate, I don't have time-loss, I just don't have a static gender like most people, but its also not fluid.  I have a male part, a female part, and a monogender non-binary part.  Most of the time I don't have any body dysphoria, however I do suffer from another part of gender dysphoria and that is the social aspect of it, how I want other people to see me and interact with me.  As for pronouns, I pretty much hate the gender neutral ones, I'm happier with female pronouns, so although it's not ideal, it works.  I've given names to each of my parts because a name is pretty important to my identity and it bothers me to have a female name when I'm not female, a male name when I'm not male, and an androgynous name when I'm male or female.  So yeah, that's pretty much me.  If you want to read my original Androgyn Introduction, as Casey, its on page 21, my original introduction in the introductions section of the site is written by Alice.  Thanks, Bye


Connor

Welcome Connor! It's nice to meet you! Hope I get to talk to Alice and Casey too!  I kinda have found I am more like that, as my male side is much different than my girl side.  I only get gender dysphoria because I don't like having a big chest. It's annoying and gets in the way! But yes, it is nice to meet you!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: WolfSpirit on October 01, 2013, 10:32:17 pm
Thank you  :)  Remind me of when I can upload a avi ect please?
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Taka on October 02, 2013, 01:55:16 am
welcome wolfspirit! you can upload avi at 15 posts.

and welcome to you too, connor. have we met, or did i only talk to alice and casey before?
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: WolfSpirit on October 02, 2013, 07:26:43 am
Thanks Taka  ;D
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Red Leicester on October 03, 2013, 06:58:44 pm
Hello.  You can called me "Red" for the time being.  It is a good nickname because my hair was a deep auburn color when I was younger.  As far as gender goes, I am not sure anymore.  I know that I do not seem to be male, and I do not seem to be female.  I have taken some blows to my well being lately, so I think with this gender thing I am just going to start again from the beginning, like Dorothy when she took her first step in the middle of the spiral, on the yellow brick road.

The lyrics from this song speak to me:

Lines form on my face and hands
Lines form from the ups and downs
Well, I'm in the middle without any plans
I'm a boy and I'm a man

Except for the boy and man part!   ;)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on October 03, 2013, 07:22:11 pm
Hi Red,
     Welcome here! One of my best friends was named "Red", passed away early in life but was a great guy!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Red Leicester on October 03, 2013, 07:28:31 pm
Nice to meet you, Shantel.  Sorry about your friend.

I am not sure if I qualify as a "great guy."  That is sort of funny, in a way.  Thank you for the smile.  :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: insane_protagonist on October 12, 2013, 07:52:09 am
Hi, I'm G. I'm a webcomic artist  currently living in Indianapolis. I identify as non-binary/genderqueer/androgyne although I think there might be a bit of "demi-guy" in there somewhere. I don't have my identity pinned down very well since it's only been like 2 years since I started figuring this out. I am married (for almost 10 years!) to a pansexual cisgender man who is wonderfully supportive.

I signed up for this site a couple of years ago but then I moved and sort of forgot about it, heh. A friend recently suggested that I should seek out online communities to hang out with and I thought of this board, so I came back (I'm also looking for in-person community but I live in Indiana, so....). : )

Hi everyone!
(PS., if anyone is curious, my webcomic is called "Title Unrelated" http://titleunrelated.com (http://titleunrelated.com). It features a whole lot of queer characters.)

Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Taka on October 12, 2013, 08:17:56 am
at least you can draw. i think i'll be reading that, to see if you can make an interesting story as well.

and welcome!
i think it's a trait many of us share, that we find it hard to really pinpoint that identity.
i am, isn't that enough?
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on October 12, 2013, 10:50:49 am
Hi, I'm G. I'm a webcomic artist  currently living in Indianapolis. I identify as non-binary/genderqueer/androgyne although I think there might be a bit of "demi-guy" in there somewhere. I don't have my identity pinned down very well since it's only been like 2 years since I started figuring this out. I am married (for almost 10 years!) to a pansexual cisgender man who is wonderfully supportive.

I signed up for this site a couple of years ago but then I moved and sort of forgot about it, heh. A friend recently suggested that I should seek out online communities to hang out with and I thought of this board, so I came back (I'm also looking for in-person community but I live in Indiana, so....). : )

Hi everyone!
(PS., if anyone is curious, my webcomic is called "Title Unrelated" http://titleunrelated.com (http://titleunrelated.com). It features a whole lot of queer characters.)

Hi hon,
     Welcome! This is ze place to be..btw you are most talented, so cool!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Lo on October 12, 2013, 11:21:40 am
Hi, I'm G. I'm a webcomic artist  currently living in Indianapolis. I identify as non-binary/genderqueer/androgyne although I think there might be a bit of "demi-guy" in there somewhere. I don't have my identity pinned down very well since it's only been like 2 years since I started figuring this out. I am married (for almost 10 years!) to a pansexual cisgender man who is wonderfully supportive.

I signed up for this site a couple of years ago but then I moved and sort of forgot about it, heh. A friend recently suggested that I should seek out online communities to hang out with and I thought of this board, so I came back (I'm also looking for in-person community but I live in Indiana, so....). : )

Hi everyone!
(PS., if anyone is curious, my webcomic is called "Title Unrelated" http://titleunrelated.com (http://titleunrelated.com). It features a whole lot of queer characters.)

Yay, another cartoonist! Welcome.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: insane_protagonist on October 12, 2013, 12:32:25 pm
Thank you for the kind words, everyone! :D
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ReggieTheCroc on November 05, 2013, 07:57:15 pm
Hello there, my name is Reggie. I was born a female, but I identify as a nearly neutral androgyne/non-binary with a slight inclination towards male (One covets thy neighbor’s gender, I suppose)

You can call me either Reg or Reggie, I’ll answer to both. I picked it because my mother once told me that she was thinking of naming me Regina, after the subject in the song “Hard Luck Woman” by Kiss. I like Reggie because it could mean either Regina or Reginald, but I’m still looking for a nice gender neutral spelling for if/when I decide to change it legally. I’m kinda leaning towards something like Regin, Regen, or maybe I’ll do it with a Y and be all edgy, Regyn. Dunno. Open to suggestions.

I think firstly I should mention that I tend to babble on at length. I’d like to think I say all that is necessary to say in order to include all relevant information and emotional tone on the subject at hand. Most people think I ramble, though. Because of that I usually try to remain silent unless I truly feel passionate or bothered by something.

I view myself primarily as an artist, if only an amateur. I’ve been drawing all my life, but lately I’ve been getting into 3D animation.

I am also asexual and aromantic, which those that know me might find odd as I rather enjoy erotic artwork and stories. I view eroticism and sexual subjects more as a genre of fantasy, something to experience in my head rather than act out physically with another being. I view romance in the same light, though that particular genre doesn’t typically appeal to me even in the fantasy sense.

As for religion, I typically identify with Agnostic (lots of ‘a-‘s, I know) There is no proof of deity one way or the other, so I am not prepared to say anything certain on the matter. As for what I believe, I must recall something once written by Scott Cunningham in one of his books on Wicca. To paraphrase; there is an energy throughout the universe, a force of equal creation and destruction, of pure neutrality, and it makes up everything. Wiccans view this energy as the One and worship what they see as the feminine and masculine qualities of this One in the form of the Goddess and God respectively, not to say that these are actual physical beings with independent consciousness, but merely a way of personifying an abstract idea so that it is better understood by the human mind. This is rather close to what I believe, but I simply do not need the personification. I do not worship anything, rather I prefer to observe with respect, watching with curiosity as the universe unfolds.

I am also a member of the Furry community. I enjoy anthropomorphic animals in art and other fantasy subjects. For those who are curious my ‘fursona’, or the anthropomorphic character that best represents me, is a kind of fusion of a crocodile and a dragon. I sometimes refer to it as a Swamp Dragon, but I’m reluctant to leave out the emphasis on my crocodile side. Often I merely stick with Crocodile as to not confuse people.

I’m also quite a nerd. I collect comic books, mostly DC and IDW, and my favorite series at the moment is Transformers: More Than Meets The Eye. For those curious, my favorite superhero is Martian Manhunter. I’m very much a gamer, though I’m not terribly good at them. I love science, especially regarding astronomical phenomenon and theoretical physics. Science Fiction is my favorite genre, especially if there’s a sexy green alien involved.

So, as you can see, if there’s a norm out there, I’ve probably broken it. There aren’t many places I fit in, but that’s fine by me. I’d rather be in a cozy room with a few close friends than with a crowd of people I barely know.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Lo on November 05, 2013, 08:57:36 pm
Welcome, Reggie! You sound a lot like me, actually. ;]

(PS- Trad Wicca definitely doesn't have an agnostic/deistic bent-- they very much have and worship very specific deities, but their names are oathbound.)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on November 05, 2013, 09:30:06 pm
For some of our newer friends here, if you have not seen these before, you might want to take a quick look.

Here are some links to help you navigate the site:


And feel free to ask me questions about the site.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ReggieTheCroc on November 06, 2013, 05:52:53 am
Welcome, Reggie! You sound a lot like me, actually. ;]

(PS- Trad Wicca definitely doesn't have an agnostic/deistic bent-- they very much have and worship very specific deities, but their names are oathbound.)

Thank you. And I apologize for any confusion. I certainly didn't mean to imply that all Wiccan Traditions had this sort of view, or any of them really. It was merely another way the author gave to help understand the ideas of Wicca, and the idea resonated with me. It was also a book primarily for solitary Wiccans, so that may have something to do with it.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on November 06, 2013, 08:39:32 am
Hi Reggie,
      Welcome! Lo is right the two of you share a remarkable number of common interests.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Sellok on November 09, 2013, 11:14:54 pm
Hey, I consider myself bi-gender (from what I've read, it sounds kind of like me), the two-spirited kind who flip-flops back and forth between girl and boy personas. I don't mean to be that way, it just kind of happens.
When I was younger I tried to purge all my male-identifying feelings with Vulcan emotional suppression techniques, but they didn't work.

I have some medical conditions and I live with my parents still. When I'm in boy-mode, I kind of try to brush off most of what they say because the many times I have tried to explain how I feel over the years, they've never understood or taken me seriously. So, I guess they just think I switch between dressing somewhat casual-feminine to tomboyish. They call my binder a "compression bra", lol. I love them, though. I have problems and they love me and take good care of me. They just don't really understand this part of me, it can be hard sometimes, but probably common.

I'm glad I found information on androgyny and bi-gender stuff, though, because it made life seem a lot less complicated than before that.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: LordKAT on November 09, 2013, 11:32:48 pm
Hi Sellok,

I'm glad you found your way here to Susan's.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on November 10, 2013, 09:01:44 am
Welcome Sellok, you'll fit right in with this gang!  :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Clyde on November 29, 2013, 01:38:18 pm
Good afternoon all. I identify as androgynous. I am genetically male and I feel no great attachment to the role of either gender. Gender roles in general tend to irritate me.
The benefits of being male in america are too substantial to forgo, so I intend to leave my ID's and other documents as they are. I do, however, strongly believe that I make more sense (if that makes sense) in a woman's body. At this point, I am looking into HRT and a GRS at some point in the future. The only sticking point is my fear that HRT will alter my personality. I hate that notion, because I love those characteristics that E is reported to reduce, ie: arrogance, aggressiveness, competitiveness, etc.

The reason that I posted this is that I am in dire need of some advice on the subject, and would appreciate any insight.

           --Truly, Clyde
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on November 29, 2013, 02:00:03 pm
Good afternoon all. I identify as androgynous. I am genetically male and I feel no great attachment to the role of either gender. Gender roles in general tend to irritate me.
The benefits of being male in america are too substantial to forgo, so I intend to leave my ID's and other documents as they are. I do, however, strongly believe that I make more sense (if that makes sense) in a woman's body. At this point, I am looking into HRT and a GRS at some point in the future. The only sticking point is my fear that HRT will alter my personality. I hate that notion, because I love those characteristics that E is reported to reduce, ie: arrogance, aggressiveness, competitiveness, etc.

The reason that I posted this is that I am in dire need of some advice on the subject, and would appreciate any insight.

           --Truly, Clyde

Hi Clyde,
      Welcome to Susan's Place! I read what you're saying and have done just about what you are thinking about. I've been on HRT a long time and have to admit that it took my brain for a big swing initially over to the female side and I became an emotional being for the first time in my life, but you are who you are mentally, morally and spiritually and eventually one's brain does come back to center so that you can think in either male or female mode if that's what you want. I didn't change any of my legal ID or paperwork as it would have been entirely too involved for me and wasn't important. I did have an orchiectomy but stopped short of SRS. I went from a type-A chloric to a type-B personality, however in a pinch I can quickly dredge up my old Type-A self. As it is, I enjoy living as a much more laid back type. Hope this is helpful!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Pica Pica on November 29, 2013, 07:41:19 pm
I went from a type-A chloric to a type-B personality, however in a pinch I can quickly dredge up my old Type-A self.

I didn't know we were still on the humours.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on November 29, 2013, 07:48:36 pm
Hi, Clyde.  Pleased to meet you.

Quite a few of us here in non-binary-land can identify with your comments.  However, there are some innate traits that HRT would not likely affect.  At the same time, casting off you male socialization might have similar effects.  So, keep the socialization, try the HRT under medical supervision, and be the person you want to be.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Phoenix Grey on December 15, 2013, 11:29:10 am
Hey-O!

Been a while since anyone posted here, eh?  Well, here goes anyway...

I'm going by the name Phoenix - totally cliche, I know... But it suits me and I'm sticking to it.  If society officially created a third gender, that's where I would be.  But society demands that we choose... There are only two choices on most government forms, right?  I've spent so much time in my natal gender, not necessarily comfortably but not in distress, that I find it difficult to imagine transitioning completely.  I would LOVE to be <transgender>/transsexual... However, I've been rejecting and scorning society's definition of female for so long that is seems wrong to reject one, but embrace the other.  As much as I identify more with a male gender, the opposite extreme is just as damaging.  I have little desire to become a man, pass as a man, and deny my <transgender> nature.  I am a horrible liar, and to try to pass as a man would feel that way to me.  I am not a man trapped in a woman's body - I'm just not a woman... But if I had to choose, I would be a man I guess.

Well, that was confusing... Ah, I guess I'm expressing myself well then, eh? LOL! Not much of an introduction, but it'll do for now.  The life story can be doled out over time. I'm happy to be here and finally able to talk about how I feel without fear of rejection.  Thank you, Susan, for creating a safe, loving place for people like us.

Time for more coffee...

~Phoenix
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on December 15, 2013, 11:39:06 am
Hey Phoenix,
       Welcome to the real world!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Phoenix Grey on December 15, 2013, 11:51:50 am
Thanks Shantel! You're beautiful!  :D

I've spent the majority of the last 10 years hiding in relationships and video games...  :icon_userfriendly: Time to wake up! Reality can be a scary place, but I have to try not to turn back into an ostrich... I'm prettier than an ostrich anyway.   :o  My butt's probably as big though... not quite so feathery though. Hm... anyway... Did I say coffee?  :icon_yikes:

~Phoenix
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on December 15, 2013, 11:57:52 am
Thanks Shantel! You're beautiful!  :D

I've spent the majority of the last 10 years hiding in relationships and video games...  :icon_userfriendly: Time to wake up! Reality can be a scary place, but I have to try not to turn back into an ostrich... I'm prettier than an ostrich anyway.   :o  My butt's probably as big though... not quite so feathery though. Hm... anyway... Did I say coffee?  :icon_yikes:

~Phoenix

Lol, I can tell that you are a cute person regardless of how you actually look or feel about yourself. Nice to have you here among friends and family!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: MiaOhMya! on December 15, 2013, 06:28:39 pm
Hey Phoenix and welcome!

I understand your feelings on definitions for sure. I lived as Andro for some time, and actually it was tough! I got fired once for wearing make-up, so I know what you mean about just "wishing" you were trans.  My advice is for you to just be Phoenix and whatever he entails. If you're not trans then forget it that's okay, and if you figure out later that you are trans, then you are! In my opinion one shouldn't transition if they are still questioning; obviously that could be bad news.

I date a ftm guy, but he hasn't transitioned yet except by name. He is just such a masculine soul anyway that it's impossible to deny that he's being himself. The entire world thinks he's a she, but to me he's always a guy. What I'm saying is that I try to take a page from his book...he's just himself whatever that may be. He may be a girl on paper, but for Christmas presents he will get all maley-stuff because that's just him and people know it.

Frankly folks like he and you are an inspiration, because I completely agree that people are just way to complex for that "two-category filing system" as is so common. It's just silly why can't people see that!?!   ::)

Ok welcome again!  ;D
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: B. Battles on December 21, 2013, 07:24:57 am
Hello,

Introductions are never easy and I'm not sure who is going to read this, but here I go...

I've always identified as an androgyne and aimed to present myself in an androgynous way. It wasn't until this year though that I gained the confidence to own my gender identity and stop hiding behind people who I perceived as being 'more androgynous and therefore a better 'me' than me'. My main goal for coming here is to meet people like myself and maybe get some clarity in areas where I still feel insecure.

Thanks for reading.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on December 21, 2013, 11:41:36 am
Welcome Battles!
              You've come to the right place, there's a lot of comments for you to read and catch up on, hope to see some of your own comments in the various threads when you feel ready!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on December 22, 2013, 01:13:54 am
Hello,

Introductions are never easy and I'm not sure who is going to read this, but here I go...

I've always identified as an androgyne and aimed to present myself in an androgynous way. It wasn't until this year though that I gained the confidence to own my gender identity and stop hiding behind people who I perceived as being 'more androgynous and therefore a better 'me' than me'. My main goal for coming here is to meet people like myself and maybe get some clarity in areas where I still feel insecure.

Thanks for reading.

Yeah, let's dump that "better than" stuff.  Unless you have an identical twin, you are as unique a child of the universe as the rest of us.

The Androgyne Talk board really serves the entire non-binary community here; though you are welcome to post anywhere.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Roberta W on December 24, 2013, 09:17:43 pm
Hi ... I'm Roberto.  I never heard of Androgyn until I discovered it here in Susan's Place ... The definitions fit me so well!  Yep, that's me!  I had SRS 28 years ago ... BA also, and have been living in this mode now for almost 3 decades.  I have a lot of experience in this lane of life, so If I can help anyone out, I'm more than happy to do so.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on December 25, 2013, 12:55:00 pm
Hello Roberto,
       Welcome to the family, the youngsters here can always pick up on a few new things from us seniors.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: MiaOhMya! on December 26, 2013, 09:24:45 am
Hi Roberto! What an interesting story, jeez the people on here are just amazing. I love that we are who we are far before we learn about the right word or definition to describe our state.

Hope to see you around often because I bet you have some great experience and I want to lurk about reading your posts like I love to do!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Space Pirate on December 29, 2013, 08:28:28 pm
So here I am.  I've lurked for a couple of weeks and I think this is the place for me.

I am...what am I?  Biologically male (with a beard, no less)...outside of that...not sure.  Very angry at my parents.  Does not compute.  I don't think I really have a gender.  Can't really tell the difference between genders.  Can't really relate to anyone of any gender sexually.  Feel enormously guilty and ashamed that I don't have a gender, can't tell the difference between genders, and can't relate to anyone of any gender sexually.  I've tried to live as a cisgender man for almost 30 years with a female partner and a cat in a house in the suburbs and utterly failed at it.  The female partner and cat and house in the suburbs remain, but the cisgender male thing does not.  Not really sure what my next move is here.  Work is surprisingly okay with things like nail polish and bending the dress code to accommodate my...whatever it is.

This came off a bit snarkier than I meant it.  So perhaps this is my first step towards relieving that anger, guilt, and shame.

Heeeere I go.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: MiaOhMya! on December 29, 2013, 08:55:15 pm
Hi Space Pirate!  :icon_wave: Glad you have the will to explore yourself!

Perhaps you will find a happy medium in androgyny. Also have you read much about asexuality?

Put down the guilt because you did try to be different and that didn't work so what's to be ashamed of? Just be you, find your place.  :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on December 30, 2013, 10:01:04 am
Yeah, we even welcome Space Pirates here! Hope you find some answers, there are a lot of posts by folks that I'm sure you can relate to...Shan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: CopperCumin on January 03, 2014, 03:22:49 pm
Hi. I'm coppercumin, but you can call me Keki.

I'm gender fluid, and that pisses me off. I spent the last year or so identifying as ftm, and I'm finally realizing that might not be right. I'm hoping the reason for my fluidity was because I was shoving myself into binary boxes. Maybe.

In terms of my gender expression, I know who I am. I'm androgynous. I'm still figuring out whether I'm a tomboyish woman, an androgynous man, or an androgyne.

I'd appreciate help on how to be publicly non-binary, since that's where I got in trouble last time. I'm still deciding how I'm going to navigate public gender in my school, since last year I was so closed in about my gender that I ended up screwing my grades because I didn't talk to anyone. That, and in an effort tovpass i kept sliding into being way more masculine than felt comfortable. Stealth was a bad idea.


Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on January 03, 2014, 09:22:25 pm
I posted in your regular intro, but I will add some stuff here.

I view gender as a spectrum, from 100% female to 100% male, and everything in between.  I think I feel a little more feminine than masculine, like 55-45, even though I was socialized male.

One of the things I have trouble working through mentally, is how much of what I feel is part of social "gender expectations," and how much is my innate gender (to heck with gender expectations!).  There are times when my reactions to some situations fit the masculine profile; other times I could easily pass for a caring, nurturing earth mother.

The thing is, even in my confusion and uncertainty, I have learned to like who I am!  I could not have said that a decade ago.

So does it matter if you are tomboyish? genderqueer? dykish? androgynous?

Nope!  As long as you find satisfaction in being the unique YOU!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on January 03, 2014, 09:31:16 pm
So here I am.  I've lurked for a couple of weeks and I think this is the place for me.

I am...what am I?  Biologically male (with a beard, no less)...outside of that...not sure.  Very angry at my parents.  Does not compute.  I don't think I really have a gender.  Can't really tell the difference between genders.  Can't really relate to anyone of any gender sexually.  Feel enormously guilty and ashamed that I don't have a gender, can't tell the difference between genders, and can't relate to anyone of any gender sexually.  I've tried to live as a cisgender man for almost 30 years with a female partner and a cat in a house in the suburbs and utterly failed at it.  The female partner and cat and house in the suburbs remain, but the cisgender male thing does not.  Not really sure what my next move is here.  Work is surprisingly okay with things like nail polish and bending the dress code to accommodate my...whatever it is.

This came off a bit snarkier than I meant it.  So perhaps this is my first step towards relieving that anger, guilt, and shame.

Heeeere I go.

Gender is a very interesting topic.  I happen to think gender, or the lack of it, is innate.  And I don't really subscriber to the "binary."  It might work out for most of the world, but for many of us it is inadequate.

I had problems conceptualizing neutrois.  But then it occurred to me that I was largely genderless until I was like 10-12 years old, when I began to recognize my own genders.

I lived a largely male life, on the exterior, for four decades.  Married 30 years (still am).  But I am allowing myself to explore what the outside world cannot see, but that I can feel.

Edit: I just made a Neutrois dedicated topic in this forum.  Maybe we can learn more about it.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Mickie on January 07, 2014, 01:48:40 am
Hey people!

I figured i may introduce myself here. I'm more or less in the "questioning" category, but after doing research recently and in the process of finding everything out i believe I may more so find my self to fit into the androgyne spectrum here somewhere. Nice to meet everyone!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on January 07, 2014, 07:23:11 am
There's nothing wrong with looking at the entire gender spectrum to see where we fit.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on January 07, 2014, 06:01:51 pm
Hey people!

I figured i may introduce myself here. I'm more or less in the "questioning" category, but after doing research recently and in the process of finding everything out i believe I may more so find my self to fit into the androgyne spectrum here somewhere. Nice to meet everyone!

Good plan Mickie and welcome to this particular forum! Twenty years ago I was hell bent on transitioning MtF all the way but over time a lot of different factors and changing attitudes have tempered that drive and I find myself more comfortably ensconced in an androgynous presentation and lifestyle. Just another take on never say never!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: little mx on January 20, 2014, 02:15:57 pm
Greetings, all! I identify as agender and more broadly as non-binary.

I'm 22 years old, I have two cats and a dog, I like sci-fi, painting, history, animals, and puns.

For awhile, I presented very butch. I think because that was the blueprint available to me for what my gender anxiety meant. "You don't like doing these things and hate those things about your body? You're a butch!" Gradually I realized I was exhausted by the pretense of masculinity. The process of landing on a trans identity was also gradual. It's hard to think of yourself as trans when you can't transition because there's nothing for you to transition to--my ideal body would be one unaffected by puberty. I've shifted to wearing boy's clothes that on boys would be considered kind of androgynous but aren't really on me and stopped trying to act "masculine". I miss confusing people for a second/having kids ask if I'm a boy or a girl, because that was sort of the only way I could be recognized as something different, but it's worth it to not have to try to be masculine all the time anymore. I want to get top surgery (I bind almost all of the time and have since long before I realized I was agender) but I'm worried about the possibility of finding a surgeon who will do that/insurance that will cover it if I have no intention of transitioning to male full-time. I also think I may want to go on T for a little bit to make my face more androgynous and lower my voice a little, but I'm worried about acquiring even more sex characteristics than I already have.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on January 20, 2014, 03:00:09 pm
Hi there, little mx!  Pleased to meet you  :)

Ahhh, puns.  You are going to fit right in  ;)

We have several FAAB folks who post here, as well as in the FtM section.  That's what's sort of cool about those of us who identify as non-binary.  W can just flit here or there, like the butterflies we are.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on January 20, 2014, 04:52:55 pm
Hey little mx, sounds like you will fit right in here.
Look around, check out some of the old topics, there's pages of them.
Lots of information in them, lots of goofing around.
There's also the wiki here for info.
Have fun, and welcome to the forest.
Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on January 20, 2014, 06:34:34 pm
Hey Little mx, welcome!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Sparks on January 23, 2014, 11:59:53 pm
Hello here- this is only my second post here since my actual main introduction a little while ago.

Many people here (in oh-so-conservative Montana) simply assume that I am a *mildly* effeminate athletic male who is known for being into classic rock/metal, cars, and typical guy things. I have, in fact, harbored deep-rooted gender confusion issues for quite some time. I have many feminine qualities and when I embrace them I feel more and more natural as time goes on and I allow myself to explore them. For these reasons I am unsure of how to classify myself.. I am hoping to make a few friends here and to understand more about how I feel inside and what course I should take on this journey.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on January 24, 2014, 12:04:53 am
Why would a label or classification help?

This is a great place to just be yourself, ask questions, compare notes.

And in this non-binary part of the Forum, we are a helluva lot nicer  ;)

Nice to meet you Sparks  :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on January 24, 2014, 09:24:54 am
Hello here- this is only my second post here since my actual main introduction a little while ago.

Many people here (in oh-so-conservative Montana) simply assume that I am a *mildly* effeminate athletic male who is known for being into classic rock/metal, cars, and typical guy things. I have, in fact, harbored deep-rooted gender confusion issues for quite some time. I have many feminine qualities and when I embrace them I feel more and more natural as time goes on and I allow myself to explore them. For these reasons I am unsure of how to classify myself.. I am hoping to make a few friends here and to understand more about how I feel inside and what course I should take on this journey.

Hey there Sparks,
         I know the feeling friend! Twenty years ago I set my cap hell-bent to transition to full female, but things change, feelings and attitudes morph back and forth. Eventually I settled into full time androgyny and enjoy being able to have a foot on either side of the gender fence at any time of my choosing, just as long as I don't get a picket up my a$$ in the process.  ;D
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on January 24, 2014, 09:42:26 am
Hey Sparks!
Lets worry about classifying and those things later.
Let's get know you, as you get to know us and the others around the forest.
For now, look around at past topics, here and in other areas that interest you.
There are pages of older topics that still have relevance, some show how we have evolved.
It's always an ongoing process and it most certainly sounds like you should be a part of that.
Don't forget the wiki here, and that questions are always welcome, as you are.
Don't forget to look at the very top of the list of forum stuff, check out the TOS.
They rules we follow and things like that.
Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Sparks on January 24, 2014, 11:06:04 am
Thanks for the nice welcome ! I don't know write where to begin as there seems to be so much information here :p I would love to get to know my fellow forum-goers and for them to get to know me too, I think that would be quite helpful.  Just have to figure out where to begin... :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on January 25, 2014, 10:48:03 am
It's not so important, of where to begin, as it is to just begin.  :)
If you've been looking around in past topics, you may have noticed that the comments tend to drift.
We even have a special topic just for that.  :D
Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on January 26, 2014, 02:18:41 pm
You might need that "sack" for SRS  >:-)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Ambiguous on January 26, 2014, 04:09:25 pm
Hey I'm Mars :P :icon_wave:
I try to dress androgynously tho I'm not sure whether or not I'm always seen as so.
People tend to describe me as adorable and proceed to make references of Shrek's puss in the boots and something along the lines "So fluffy I'm gonna die" which I'm sure none of you has ever seen while searching the interwebs :P
Nice to meet you :P
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on January 26, 2014, 04:37:52 pm
Hey I'm Mars :P :icon_wave:
I try to dress androgynously tho I'm not sure whether or not I'm always seen as so.
People tend to describe me as adorable and proceed to make references of Shrek's puss in the boots and something along the lines "So fluffy I'm gonna die" which I'm sure none of you has ever seen while searching the interwebs :P
Nice to meet you :P

Greetings, you are at the right place Ambiguous!  :icon_bunch:

@ Hey Emily, you're always welcome here too hon!  :icon_wave:
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on January 26, 2014, 04:42:49 pm
Thnx, Aunt Shantie :). If I become too annoying - just kick me out :D.

Not a chance doll face!  :icon_ballbounce:
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on January 26, 2014, 08:27:37 pm
Hey I'm Mars :P :icon_wave:
I try to dress androgynously tho I'm not sure whether or not I'm always seen as so.
People tend to describe me as adorable and proceed to make references of Shrek's puss in the boots and something along the lines "So fluffy I'm gonna die" which I'm sure none of you has ever seen while searching the interwebs :P
Nice to meet you :P

Hiya, Mars!  Welcome to the Unicorn Forest ... or Jungle ... or playground.  Take your pick!!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Ambiguous on January 27, 2014, 06:25:51 am
Thanks!! :D
Haha I just imagined a unicorn themed playground in the middle of a forest xD Awesome!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Queermosecual on January 27, 2014, 07:31:24 am
Hello Everyone,

I'm brand new here and to myself honestly. I'm a late bloomer. I'm 33 years old, and have always felt "two-spirited" as far as gender expression and sexual orientation. I have recently allowed myself to begin to be "masculine of center" in my gender expression and it has been so liberating! It feels great! My entire life I had adhered to what my family and society as a whole expected, but I met someone who encouraged me to be myself. Then I fell in love with her. It's amazing to find someone who is attracted to the real me. What has been even more fascinating is that as a masculine of center, cisgendered female, lesbian, there have been way more heterosexual men that approach me than when I was "faking it."

Alas, I have been lurking her for some time now and thought that I should introduce myself. I hope that I have not offended anyone, as that has not been my intend and I do hope to have some meaningful heart to hearts and also a little fun too. I just recently ordered a reelmagik prosthetic, so I'll be posting a review soon.

P.S.
My name is taken from an episode of Family Guy.
I love me some Family Guy!!!!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ativan on January 27, 2014, 08:12:46 am
Emily, Ambiguous and Queermosecual!
Welcome to the forest!
Look around at old topics, get a feel for the place if you haven't already,
Add to them, start some new ones.
Run around the paths that are endless...
Here you can always be yourself, who you want to be...
A place to try out the new and sometimes strange things we find along the way.
It's a place to put the parts together.
Ativan
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on January 27, 2014, 09:05:18 am
Hello Everyone,

I'm brand new here and to myself honestly. I'm a late bloomer. I'm 33 years old, and have always felt "two-spirited" as far as gender expression and sexual orientation.
 

I don't think you are a "Late Bloomer" by a longshot, you have been you all along, perhaps at 33 you just finally realized it huh? As far as late goes, I didn't realize myself fully until I was 51, I'm now a youthful 70 and if I'm every going to be late it will be to my own funeral.  :D

Alas, I have been lurking her for some time now and thought that I should introduce myself. I hope that I have not offended anyone, as that has not been my intend and I do hope to have some meaningful heart to hearts and also a little fun too.

There's no chance you could ever offend anyone here, here in the Unicorn Forest of the androgyne forum we tend to have thicker hides.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Queermosecual on January 27, 2014, 09:15:47 am
Ativan and Shantel, thank you so much for the warm welcome.
And Shantel, I couldn't agree more, when it comes to the funeral, let's totally be tardy for the party!!  ;)
Emily, I'm right there with you. It seems like once I've "answered" my questions, 10 more appear. But life is beautiful and I'm super excited about what's ahead.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Ianko on January 30, 2014, 01:18:52 pm
I'm Ian, Brazilian, almost 20 years old. AFAB. Pansexual. Anarchist. I'm transmasculine with a genderless soul. I'm pre-everything. Hm, what else? I'm nerd as hell, I love videogames, RPG, animes and cheese! :3
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on February 04, 2014, 05:56:14 pm
Welcome, Ianko.  We have several other Brazilians who visit the site.  Pleased to meet you.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: MadeleineG on February 04, 2014, 06:28:41 pm
The longer I'm on E, the more I identify non-binary.

Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on February 04, 2014, 06:31:49 pm
The longer I'm on E, the more I identify non-binary.

You, me and a lot of other people, it's ok Gwynne you won't get any more weird than I am hon!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on February 04, 2014, 08:06:13 pm
The longer I'm on E, the more I identify non-binary.

Gwynne's current avatar is infinitely interesting!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Pica Pica on February 05, 2014, 03:33:50 pm
The longer I'm on E, the more I identify non-binary.

I thought you meant Ecstasy, which I hear does break down certain social barriers and such. An experience I've missed out on so far but colour me curious.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: MadeleineG on February 06, 2014, 08:07:52 am
I thought you meant Ecstasy, which I hear does break down certain social barriers and such. An experience I've missed out on so far but colour me curious.

I've never taken that variety of E, but suspect you may be on to something.

MDMAAB?
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: MadeleineG on February 06, 2014, 08:09:12 am
You, me and a lot of other people, it's ok Gwynne you won't get any more weird than I am hon!

Actually, I'm feeling great about it. And weird is good.  :D
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: me on February 10, 2014, 06:56:05 am
Ah, it seems like this is where the bigender people hang out on this site...

And that's me.  Or at least I think it is.  Sometimes I'm the male "me", sometimes I'm the female "me", and it switches about every two weeks or so.  I have no idea why (but I'd love to know what causes it).

Still trying to figure this out because it's confusing.  But at least I'm in the right place now.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on February 10, 2014, 11:17:31 am
Hi Me!  :D
     Yes this is ze place, welcome!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: EzraNightshade on February 12, 2014, 10:44:59 am
why did take me so long to find this place?...( stupid search engines) try putting in "Bi polar sexuality" and see what you get..* sigh*

I will take the time to introduce my self in greater depth later...but after reading a bunch of posts...it became painfully obvious to me, that I am in the right place.....
thank the universe, I was truly starting to wonder if I might be alone, but I couldn't conceive  that I could be.
...

a..

Hi! * blush*
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on February 12, 2014, 10:50:47 am
why did take me so long to find this place?...( stupid search engines) try putting in "Bi polar sexuality" and see what you get..* sigh*

I will take the time to introduce my self in greater depth later...but after reading a bunch of posts...it became painfully obvious to me, that I am in the right place.....
thank the universe, I was truly starting to wonder if I might be alone, but I couldn't conceive  that I could be.
...

a..

Hi! * blush*

Hi Ezra,
       No you are not alone, you are definitely at the right place. Welcome to the family!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: UnlockingJack on February 12, 2014, 06:34:42 pm
Hi everyone! I'm Jack. I identify as a greyromantic pansexual androgyne. I'm 28 and live in Minnesota with my (bisexual, conveniently) husband and our cats.

I've had gender...concerns since I was about 6 years old, but only fully accepted that this is who I am about six months ago. My internal body-map has always had both sets of sex organs, even though I'm AFAB, and I've always had a lot of dysphoria because of that. Always loved my deep-for-a-girl voice, always hated my obviously-female given name, always loved having short spiky haircuts, always dreamed of looking like Brian Molko or Elly Jackson, never felt comfortable in pink-and-ruffles OR suit-and-tie. In the last year or so, I've made a lot of positive life-changes (lost a lot of weight, confronted a lot of fears, that kind of thing) that have led to my being able to accept myself for who I am.

I chose the name Jack for myself when I was about 6. I wished my whole life that I could be called Jack, but only very recently realized that it's something I can have, that I deserve to have a name I identify with and feel comfortable with. I love the name because it's fairly gender neutral leaning masculine, and because every character I've ever seen called Jack has been interesting. I want to be that kind of person, you know? I haven't told my mother or sister yet, but most of the other important people in my life now call me Jack.

Aside from all the gender stuff, I'm a fiber artist (knitter and spinner), avid gamer, tattoo and piercing addict, and heavily involved in the podfic end of fandom (podfic is audiobook versions of fanfiction). I also enjoy hiking, canoeing, dance, and nerding out at conventions.

Glad to have found this place, and I look forward to talking with you all!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on February 12, 2014, 06:40:36 pm
Hey welcome Jack, sounds like you're getting it together!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: MadeleineG on February 12, 2014, 09:42:05 pm
Hijack!

You sound like you're finding your place in the buzzing, blooming confusion.

From a fellow canoodler, welcome to the site  ;D

(https://www.americanwhitewater.org/photos/archive/medium/877972.jpg)

Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Jamie D on February 12, 2014, 09:55:33 pm
Jack and Ezra - welcome!

As someone who felt confused, isolated, and alone for decades, I can attest that you have friends here who understand.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: EzraNightshade on February 13, 2014, 09:01:53 am
hello again.
So in reading posts yesterday I realized there is a whole new vocabulary I find I am unfamiliar with regarding orientation/identity/ preference, and a bunch of new acronym's  ( this is the point at which somebody usually tells me to use the search feature or FAQ section and I will) but I am just mentioning it here because I won't be using that language to describe my self here.

The very short version is, 50% PIG 50% girl not a whole lot in between.. I don't occupy the middle of the spectrum just both ends the result is a certain amount of androgyny but pressures of society and being masculine in appearance....the girl part doesn't get let out very often. I don't "dress up" she/me won't have me going out looking like that...besides it isn't "dressing" that dose it for her/me.. how ever she /me is a big part of my daily emotional make up and needs..( this is where things get sticky) ...my SO being an open minded sort of girl, she gave it a good ol' collage try...but she wasn't telling me her real feelings and I went a bit over board... eventually she decided I was becoming a split personality which I am but not in the traditional sense. and well.... rejection hurts..
Now that I know what is going on with me...the realization answered many, many questions and confusions ,distinctly un-manly urges I had...I can't just put it back in the box.... don't want to... but the price...*sigh*
I know no one can tell me what to do.. not asking that  I know better being a recovering  alcoholic and all...
I just didn't want to feel alone anymore. even those among the LTGB community don't understand what it means to be in the middle,  both or neither.
anyway...

Hi Shantel- thank you for the warm welcome
Hi , Jack (I am avid podcast( podiobooks) listener)
hi Jami ( forgive me for shortening it)    50 shades of fuchsia...lol!...I love you already!

ps. how long am I going to have to "verify" each time I post?
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on February 13, 2014, 09:07:39 am
hello again.
So in reading posts yesterday I realized there is a whole new vocabulary I find I am unfamiliar with regarding orientation/identity/ preference, and a bunch of new acronym's  ( this is the point at which somebody usually tells me to use the search feature or FAQ section and I will) but I am just mentioning it here because I won't be using that language to describe my self here.

The very short version is, 50% PIG 50% girl not a whole lot in between.. I don't occupy the middle of the spectrum just both ends the result is a certain amount of androgyny but pressures of society and being masculine in appearance....the girl part doesn't get let out very often. I don't "dress up" she/me won't have me going out looking like that...besides it isn't "dressing" that dose it for her/me.. how ever she /me is a big part of my daily emotional make up and needs..( this is where things get sticky) ...my SO being an open minded sort of girl, she gave it a good ol' collage try...but she wasn't telling me her real feelings and I went a bit over board... eventually she decided I was becoming a split personality which I am but not in the traditional sense. and well.... rejection hurts..
Now that I know what is going on with me...the realization answered many, many questions and confusions ,distinctly un-manly urges I had...I can't just put it back in the box.... don't want to... but the price...*sigh*
I know no one can tell me what to do.. not asking that  I know better being a recovering  alcoholic and all...
I just didn't want to feel alone anymore. even those among the LTGB community don't understand what it means to be in the middle,  both or neither.
anyway...

Hi Shantel
Hi , Jack (I am avid podcast( podiobooks) listener)

ps. how long am I going to have to "verify" each time I post?

You don't have to verify here ever is you don't want to. Strange how much I relate in a way to your self description though, I think you fit right in here my friend!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: EzraNightshade on February 13, 2014, 09:11:38 am
I mean the "type the letters you see" and "type the first word to the right" box at the bottom of the reply page.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on February 13, 2014, 09:25:52 am
I mean the "type the letters you see" and "type the first word to the right" box at the bottom of the reply page.

Oh gotcha! Yeah that's when you are new to the site, it will go away eventually and you won't have to do that anymore.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: UnlockingJack on February 13, 2014, 10:37:17 am
Shantel, I was about to post and be like "oh, so it's just a matter of waiting then" but it's already gone, yay. I think it was about three days, Ezra, if you're wondering.

(also, Shantel, Ezra, Jamie, Qwynne-- thanks for the welcome :) )
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on February 18, 2014, 08:51:59 pm
hello:)

Once upon a time I was googeling my feelings looking for answers, ( i feel like i am transexual but i am ok whit my body, and i do actually have a lot of male traits kinda searching.. :Pp )  then I found the label and society that immediately opened my eyes.
 My name is Emil and i am a 20 year old androgyne from Norway ( Bio male). I study full-time and work as bartender on weekends.
 I am just starting my transition from male to androgyne. As of today, Expressions are a huge part of how I manage to be more like myself. I have Felt extremely lost and different ever since i can remember, and today i really feel like i am on the right path.I do get lost/confused sometimes, but i was hoping maybe you guys could help me whit that  ::)


Awesome community! thank you<3

Emil / Emily ( makes me think clearer about things;P)

Emily,
     Welcome here, you are at the right place and in good company. I live in the US in Washington state, my grandpa is from Hammerfest although I don't speak Norwegian. We do have a big international community here with many Norwegians and other Skandinavians from neighboring countries.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: ErinWDK on February 24, 2014, 08:08:52 am
Oh gotcha! Yeah that's when you are new to the site, it will go away eventually and you won't have to do that anymore.

It went away after ten posts - so it is posts not time.

The last question I got was "Are you human?"  Given my low self esteem that was a trick question...
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: MadeleineG on February 24, 2014, 05:55:59 pm
The last question I got was "Are you human?"  Given my low self esteem that was a trick question...

It's also insensitive to our Otherkin members.  :-\
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Drenee on May 09, 2014, 07:44:53 pm
Sorry for this long post but I would feel more comfortable explaining things in detail:

Instead of jumping right to the end ill start from the beginning. I first realized something different about myself since I was 10. I was very curious about what it would be like as girl, even going as for as to wear my siblings clothes and acted feminine when I felt no one was watching & engaging in what I thought & felt was female-oriented. When I enter puberty I felt like I was in the wrong body and thought I was a <transgender> and even contemplated going through MtoF transformation for a long while.

During my middle school life, I always envied girls as they did things that I wanted to do but society would deem unacceptable, it felt so normal to me. As a teenager I wasn't very strong or self-confident and very soft and passive. I often thought of suicide & abused myself after constant bullying in middle-school. At the end of my middle school-life, as the internet became more readily available, I did the best research I could do and learn and explored the variety of different sexuality and how people cope/integrate it in their lives. At that point I just thought I was a bi-curious crossdresser since I didn't see the guy friends in my circle "having a feminine side".

High School life was better for me, my private school was nice but I enter with emotional problems from middle school so i often self-reflected and projected the possible negativity from peer onto them. During this time I desired to learn the ways of acting as a future career and I learned shortly afterward that from time to time I can express my femininity under the guise of be a well-rounded amateur actor. It took me awhile before I felt that indulging in my feminine side wasn't apart of experimenting my sexuality, it was truly apart of me and my wellbeing & inseparable. When alone I express my true self to the best of my abilities but I always dream of doing things like shopping & and hanging/socializing with girls who understand & will help me shape the girl within my psyche while maintaining my "public/normal" male persona.

The being of college was very liberating as I became a bit more optimistic about life. It was the 1st time I ever met gay couples/lesbians and some are my friends. I often wonder how strong they are or how supportive their circle is. Throughout my college life I didn't feel satisfied with the simple label of a crossdresser, I reflected on my life and did alot of research and reading others stories as experiences. Throughout my studies I learned that I had no desire for MtoF transformation & was very comfortable in my body. It wasn't soon afterward that I found my right label.

Being a psychological mixture of both sexes was what met my psychological state of the long 12 years of soul-searching for true comfort in my true identity as an androgyne. In the past few week I've been seeking support group that can help me and I even recently came out to one of my long time female efriends and she whole-heartily accepted me and support me. She is my 1st friend I have ever shared this with and it was a great relief when she returned the love.
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Ms Grace on May 09, 2014, 07:47:36 pm
Hey Drenee

Welcome to Susan's :) Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

Please check out the following links for general site info...


Cheers

Grace
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Silver Centurion on June 02, 2014, 07:18:41 pm
Hello everyone!

Super new to the forum though I am married to member Shodan. My name is Olivia (though I have always hated it and hardly ever am called that anyways) and I'm 35. Married and have a 15 year old son. I am biologically female but have a pretty severe dislike of anything remotely feminine (clothing, makeup, likes etc..) and socially I prefer to hang around tomboys or men. Shodan says I am a Ditto (pokemon references there) and I have to agree because I just don't care about my physical parts but what I do care about is how i present myself and what I'm interested in. I don't even know if there is a term for someone who isn't really FTM but is so heavily masculine that they might as well be even though they don't suffer dysphoria. Anyways I'm into hockey, massive football fan, and Marvel stuff. So yeah hello everyone!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on June 03, 2014, 11:55:09 am
Welcome Olivia,
            My gut feeling is that you'd enjoy a little reading in the Androgyne Forum. You would fit in with us there nicely, my regards to the S.O!
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shodan on June 03, 2014, 12:26:24 pm
Hello everyone!

Super new to the forum though I am married to member Shodan. My name is Olivia (though I have always hated it and hardly ever am called that anyways) and I'm 35. Married and have a 15 year old son. I am biologically female but have a pretty severe dislike of anything remotely feminine (clothing, makeup, likes etc..) and socially I prefer to hang around tomboys or men. Shodan says I am a Ditto (pokemon references there) and I have to agree because I just don't care about my physical parts but what I do care about is how i present myself and what I'm interested in. I don't even know if there is a term for someone who isn't really FTM but is so heavily masculine that they might as well be even though they don't suffer dysphoria. Anyways I'm into hockey, massive football fan, and Marvel stuff. So yeah hello everyone!

OHAI! I found a super rare pokemans!  Glad to see you come to the boards. :D
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Silver Centurion on June 03, 2014, 12:31:49 pm
Welcome Olivia,
            My gut feeling is that you'd enjoy a little reading in the Androgyne Forum. You would fit in with us there nicely, my regards to the S.O!

Thank you Shantel :) Is the Adrogyne Forum the Non-Binary talk? I looked around and I think that's the one. Could be wrong tho! I appreciate the help :)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: ativan on June 03, 2014, 04:58:25 pm
The Non-Binary Talk section was formerly the Androgyn forum, it was a recent change.
*Edited the title of Androgyne Introductions to Non-Binary Introductions to reflect that terminology...
Ativan
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: EmoAlice on June 03, 2014, 05:07:58 pm
Hi.  It's me! I'm not very good at talking about myself but I'm pretty open if people have specific questions.  I'm some sort of non-binary I guess.  I get a lot of "so are you a boy or girl?"  At least in online conversations (I'm yet to really get out a whole lot presenting as myself).  I usually just say "no" or "neither" and people will say "so, what are you then?"  The only response I've been able to come up with is "human."  Then the conversation, not surprisingly, heads into genitals.  I don't understand why it's so necessary for people to have me classified in order to talk to me.  Anyways, I'm rambling now.  So....talk to ya later.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Silver Centurion on June 03, 2014, 06:57:58 pm
The Non-Binary Talk section was formerly the Androgyn forum, it was a recent change.
*Edited the title of Androgyne Introductions to Non-Binary Introductions to reflect that terminology...
Ativan

Thanks for the explanation as I thought I was just blind when searching for the threads :)

Hi EmoAlice! I agree with you and I like the comeback you gave them. I've told people before that I'm alive in response to when they want to know if I'm male/female.  I've been talking with a few people this past week about the very same thing. Why do people have to be one or the other or anything at all? Just being themselves ought to be good enough for everyone.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Shantel on June 03, 2014, 07:18:39 pm
Thanks for the explanation as I thought I was just blind when searching for the threads :)


Oh sorry bout that hon, I had forgotten that the forum name changed, you're at the right place.
Title: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: MacG on June 13, 2014, 11:18:46 pm
Hi!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Shantel on June 14, 2014, 11:12:41 am
Hi Paula and Mac, seems like you're both in the right place, this is where I live so welcome friends!
Title: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: MacG on June 14, 2014, 09:51:10 pm
Awww thanks :)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Umiko on June 14, 2014, 09:52:09 pm
guess as a fellow non-binary, i should introduce myself lol. hi, i'm brianna. nice to meetcha  :laugh:
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: femaletome on June 19, 2014, 01:05:53 am
Hello everybody,

I am new here, my name is Evan.  I am 26 years old and I am genderqueer.  I prefer male pronouns.  I will most likely soon begin testosterone thanks to an informed consent program.  I am here to hopefully meet new people like myself, who are going through similar things and know how it feels to be non-binary!  I hope that I can learn from all of your experiences and I hope that I can share some experiences of value with you all as well. 

I am right now looking to do low dose testosterone, and I am not sure how long I want to be on hormones.  I don't have a certain amount of time I am looking to do, I just want to continue until I feel I have reached the results I would like to see.  I don't want to set any boundaries, rules or expectations on my transition as its a very personal experience and one that I am sure will change as I grow through this all.

I hope I get to know you all more! 
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Shantel on June 19, 2014, 07:56:19 am
Hi femaletome and a big welcome to Susan's Place!  :)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: ryanjoseph on June 23, 2014, 10:08:36 pm
hello!! i am new here... i believe i've posted a couple times awhile ago but i've only recently come to terms with my identity.

my name's daniel (yeah, i know the username says differently) and i'm a non-binary afab boy. i'm a senior in college and i'm hopefully starting T soon! i don't know what else to say haha. but hi :)
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: helen2010 on June 24, 2014, 01:33:44 am
The longer I'm on E, the more I identify non-binary.

You and me both.  It really is a wonder therapy for us TG folk.  I seem to be far more connected with myself and with others than I ever dreamed would be possible.  I know that I don't identify as 100 per cent male nor 100 per cent female which means that GQ or an andro presentation works best for me.  On some days I feel, for want of a better word - more female, while on other days or in other situations I feel more male.  It doesn't feel that I am moving between 2 polar opposites on some gender continuum, but rather, it feels that I am in my own category.  Using this analogy supports the view that there are as many genders as there are individuals which creates some very interesting identity expressions.

Look forward to travelling with you and our friends in the forest.

Safe travels

Aisla 
Title: Re: Androgyn Introductions
Post by: Shantel on June 24, 2014, 10:27:28 am
I seem to be far more connected with myself and with others than I ever dreamed would be possible.  I know that I don't identify as 100 per cent male nor 100 per cent female which means that GQ or an andro presentation works best for me.  On some days I feel, for want of a better word - more female, while on other days or in other situations I feel more male.  It doesn't feel that I am moving between 2 polar opposites on some gender continuum, but rather, it feels that I am in my own category.  Using this analogy supports the view that there are as many genders as there are individuals which creates some very interesting identity expressions.

Aisla

For me female HRT did several things aside from producing secondary physical characteristics. It dialed my typically male response to practically everything way back and made me appear less intimidating to observers and more approachable. It opened up the female side of my thought processes and allowed me to become a better listener and conversationalist and it opened up other fields of thought and interaction that I hadn't formerly comprehended or had any interest in. I was able to have more empathy for others and actually have real emotions, I could laugh and cry about things and feel the pain or joy of others and not be ashamed of it as being something unmanly. In my personal relationship to my spouse my sudden emotional availability was a dramatic turn around, which made her response to me all the more passionate and loving than ever before. The former lack of emotion and feeling had been like cold water on any intimacy. The emotional connection during intimacy was all new and took things to a new level which was wonderful. More than all of that was the tempering of my wartime PTSD issues which had all but destroyed my life giving me an extremely short fuze when it comes to any sort of drama or BS, it's tempered and limited my anger outbursts and changed the profane and curmudgeonly person I had become.

I actually was afraid of becoming too female minded at one point and wanted to see if this was real or just a fluke, I de-transitioned for two years and tried testosterone again. It was like stepping back into the old Mr. Hyde persona, like a former alcoholic going back to drinking, instant as*hole just add testosterone, I was a miserable monster and hated it concluding that it was a huge mistake, never to be repeated again!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: jamesj on July 01, 2014, 01:04:51 am
I am definitely confused about who I am. I am 34 years old and I was born a male. I am extremely lonely and feel as though this website is a great place for me to be at. I am hoping to communicate with people who are accepting of others like myself who feel as though they do not fit in. I would also like to connect with lots of people who are caring and understanding, so that I don't feel so alone and confused. I am really looking forward to making new friends here.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: helen2010 on July 01, 2014, 01:59:12 am
jamesj

Welcome.  You have certainly come to the right place.  There are numerous threads, much shared experience and great resources which should help you find comfort and sustenance on whatever path you choose to take.

Safe travels

Aisla
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Satinjoy on July 07, 2014, 07:57:58 pm
I never did the intro thing, but I put this out on the mtf side before denial was shattered and I accepted my full non binary identity:

If you were DES exposed, what did it do to you?  This is what happened to me.

I got creamed by this drug, used to treat miscarriages in massive doses.  As known publicly here I believe it changed my endo and my  central nervous system to fully female.  Without the DES debate and medical stuff, what is your trans experience?  Not pinning it back to DES, but what do you feel?

No what does DES do here please or medical stuff. We have that other places here on Susans. Just --what is your trans experience?

Heres mine:

Born effeminate.  Earliest id with female physical feelings - still in a crib looking up.  Thank you therapy for unlocking that one.  Vague though.

Early- female bone structure, could do nothing with a ball, withdrawn, isolated.  Totally inadequate as a boy.  Extremely effeminate.

Mid school- hell on earth. Could not tell externally if boy or girl.  Saw girl in the mirror not a guy.  Extreme abuse by peers.  More withdrawn.  Decided to create a male coping personality to prove it untrue.  And every day for 5-6 years every time I walked into a room they called me a fa--ot.      .   Fractured my mind a bit, but I became very tough.  And bitter.

Intensely attracted to girls.

Minor crossdressing begins.  Realized body had female sex needs.

Went out for wrestling and became a terror on the mats in high school.  Name calling stopped.  Team would have torn them to peices.

Started drinking, lost virginity to blond bombshell and intended to marry her.  Fetishistic and female sex drive still large.

Went down the tubes on booze.  Lost the blond.

Gays went after me, started to crossdress under clothes at gay bars, would screw anyone that moved if I was drunk.  Discovered pot and amyl nitrate and got hooked on both.

Moved to NYC and it got worse.

Got sober and figured out emotional attractions were to women and physical was wired female.  Started purging.

Showed up at an AA meeting in a dress.   They told me I needed a better wig and didn't even blink.  No more excuses for drinking.

Purged and got married to a real beauty.  Will do anything to keep her.

Purged 50 times.  Female side got stronger, fetishistic side got stronger.  Still see a girl in the mirror, hate my face because I always see her.  Still into male things to escape pain, racing car amatuer or kart professionally, blow them up movies, anything to get out.

Got BPS at 55, found out what finesteride was, secretly found out about Susan's.  Cracked and tried to physician steer into hormones after researching who was trans friendly.  Told my best friend and kids.  Best friend did not reject so I survived.

Still no desire to present female outside the house.

Endo sends me to therapy.  Discovery begins.

Misidentified as characteristic of many auto G things and outside of Benjamin standards.  No FTE.

Gets hormone letter, clearly needed.

Remaining fetishist and other stuff becomes different, healthy, less intense.  Mirror stuff stops cold.  Continue to strip away to find a female physical center and a non male non female psychological center that morphs depending on how I am dressed and who I am with.  No act either, the three presentations are totally genuine.  One to survive, one to adapt and maintain family relationships, and one to be real.

No labels fit.  Its not about the clothes.  Its self perception and physical wiring.

Big risk to take here on Susans, to bare all.  I am so desperate to be accepted and finally not alone that I would do anything to be who you all want me to be.  Just like I did in 6th grade, forming a personality to be accepted.

I'm not going to do that.  I am stronger than that I am a transwoman, just with added features mentally.

My dysphoria concerning my body and feelings is acute.  But I can handle the male disguise with total ease.  But not below the neck, the presentation line.  That I need totally female.  The male disguise is to keep the assho.. s from doing that fa..et thing again, I would absolutely see red and tear them to peices if that word is ever used on me again.  No muscle strength anymore or not.

Did I mention in addition to severe alcoholism the anxiety and intense driven thing - largely removed by HRT?

The wiring, having estrogen receptors in my brain (I am told most men do not have them or get sick on estrogen), the attraction to my own body, the dual sexual orientation - one is repressed I am married and faithful but I wish my wife would ravage me - the bone structure, the node on my left testicle, the preop status and ok with that, all are DES traits.  So is indentifying as a third sex, neither fully male nor fully female psychologically, rather some kind of blending.

And I am a she not a he -physically, and all the time.  Psychologically - depends on the environment.   DES makes me feel like I dont fully fit, even in here, because I am not even normal for a TS.  And I am TS not CD.  No judgment there, but I don't seem to have those characteristics. 

There are others here on the board like me.  Anyone want to let it out?  We can cry together later, because this thing hurts.  It started as an involuntary womb conversion and became ... me.

But if asked I am a transwoman, and I know darn well this could be progressive, and it scares the living <poo> out of me.

I hope I don't regret posting this, but I believe in having the guts to be real.  I hope I didn't just alienate everyone I hold so dear in here.  It would utterly crush me, but I have to know, am I the only one like this?  I know of one other.... 

_____________
Present day jump ahead -
That was about 2 months ago, just before 2 mental breakdowns that all of you and especially Aisla, Miss Julie, Patty and many others pulled me through to the other side, finding out the cliff was a jump into the real.  The edge.  My edge is self acceptance and the end of self delusion or deception. I also no longer fear progression. 

 I no longer self identify as a transwoman, because I don't fit the labels.   However I am physically an mtf no op female.  And the rest is all over the posts and all over Susans, including the joy of finally accepting who I am, of finding the core, and of celebrating it.  There are no mistakes and the DES thing and who I am is no accident.

But for those of us who do not go to the mtf section, this is a part of my story. And welcome to all the newbies.

And in this section, not only do I fit in and am not alone, I am with my family.

Love to all here.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Shantel on July 07, 2014, 08:13:52 pm
Great intro SatinJoy, glad you made it and are here, we love you kid!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: JessicaN on July 15, 2014, 11:13:43 pm
Hi all. I've been lurking a bit for a while and finally have gotten around to posting. I already posted a general intro: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,169150.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,169150.0.html)

But since I identify non-binary, I figured I'd better post here too.

There's so much activity on this forum and so many people, I honestly don't know how I'll keep up. I'm not sure what else to say. I think I covered most of it in the other introduction. But I'm open if anyone wants to ask me stuff.

Oh yeah, and I'm in Orange County CA and totally willing to network and make friends here.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Shantel on July 16, 2014, 09:57:36 am
Hi Jessica welcome to the motley crew here! There's lots of interesting stuff to read, hope you will feel free to chime in and add your own take on things.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Literary X on July 28, 2014, 03:29:39 pm
I'm Verne. I'm going on 19 and I'm agender. My biologically female traits are painfully obvious, especially my DD breasts, so I have a very difficult time looking androgynous. I can't afford top surgery, and my family doesn't even want me to wear a binder. They see me as a girl, and they can't understand for the life of them that I'm NOT!!!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: JaeG on July 28, 2014, 04:00:06 pm
Hey, this is my first time on this forum so, hopefully I do this correctly ^^"

My name is Jae (not my birth name, but I hope to legally change it to this in the near future) and I've always been confused about my gender identity.

I'm biologically female, but have always felt male. When I was younger, I'd want to be called 'he' and I feel like I was always meant to be a boy. But, I also happen to be quite feminine. I enjoy being 'pretty' and androgynous, growing my hair long and wearing makeup. I also enjoy wearing girl clothes just as much as I enjoy wearing men's clothes, which has put me out of place within the FtM community. I've been told that I'm 'just a confused girl' and that I'm 'giving FtMs a bad name' so, I've pretty much given up on forums.

I'm currently seeing a therapist and am working on starting HRT. My goal is to appear more androgynous. I'm already quite fortunate because I'm quite thin and can bind easily, but I'm also quite petite and almost never pass as a male :'( Haven't come out to anyone except my therapist. I'm quite shy and reserved, I don't have many friends, but I am close to my family and hope to come out to them after starting HRT
I'm 18, just graduated from high school and look forward to finally feeling comfortable in my own skin ^^
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Shantel on July 28, 2014, 06:36:28 pm
Hey, this is my first time on this forum so, hopefully I do this correctly ^^"

My name is Jae (not my birth name, but I hope to legally change it to this in the near future) and I've always been confused about my gender identity.

I'm biologically female, but have always felt male. When I was younger, I'd want to be called 'he' and I feel like I was always meant to be a boy. But, I also happen to be quite feminine. I enjoy being 'pretty' and androgynous, growing my hair long and wearing makeup. I also enjoy wearing girl clothes just as much as I enjoy wearing men's clothes, which has put me out of place within the FtM community. I've been told that I'm 'just a confused girl' and that I'm 'giving FtMs a bad name' so, I've pretty much given up on forums.

I'm currently seeing a therapist and am working on starting HRT. My goal is to appear more androgynous. I'm already quite fortunate because I'm quite thin and can bind easily, but I'm also quite petite and almost never pass as a male :'( Haven't come out to anyone except my therapist. I'm quite shy and reserved, I don't have many friends, but I am close to my family and hope to come out to them after starting HRT
I'm 18, just graduated from high school and look forward to finally feeling comfortable in my own skin ^^

Welcome JaeG,
            You're at the right place and don't worry there is no correct way here, we are all unique individuals and everyone has their own style, so jump right in with both feet because you won't be getting any criticism here, just a healthy dose of TLC from lots of non-binary androgynous folks. We all have our own sense of self expression so you fit right in.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Gabrielle_22 on August 11, 2014, 07:23:47 pm
Hi everyone,

I posted an introduction in the general introductions thread, but now I see that this one is a bit more tailored to my gender identity. Essentially, I was assigned male at birth, but felt, for as long as I could remember, like there was a girl inside me; I've often pictured it as that the hallway of myself contains two doors, one to the girl and one to my male side. As a consequence, once I found the terminology in my early twenties, I began to secretly identify as bi-gender, though I have always favoured my female side over my male side to such an extent that I know, if I had to make the choice, that I would prefer having been born female. For most of my life, I haven't felt able to present myself as female, however. I grew up in an island in the Caribbean that--like many of the other islands, unfortunately--is quite homophobic, and although I am not actually attracted to males, anything connected to being trans* is lumped together with homosexuality. People can get quite violent when talking about homosexuality, and so it's only recently, when I went to the United States for university, that I've begun to feel more comfortable presenting as my girl side. It makes me tremendously happy to be able to do so, but I've only come out to a few people so far--none of them family members or people from back home--and am nervous about the effects that coming out to everyone in my academic department might have. I'm in a relatively liberal department, but it will still be such a big change for everyone in it that I'm making sure I plan my moves as carefully as I can.

I've been coming to Susans for quite some time now. It seems like a wonderful community, and it's helped me more than once to remember that I'm not the only one like myself out there.  :) I'm really glad this place exists, and I look forward to seeing everyone's stories, especially if there are any other bi-gender persons active on here.

Gabby
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Shantel on August 11, 2014, 08:39:21 pm

I've been coming to Susans for quite some time now. It seems like a wonderful community, and it's helped me more than once to remember that I'm not the only one like myself out there.  :) I'm really glad this place exists, and I look forward to seeing everyone's stories, especially if there are any other bi-gender persons active on here.

Gabby

Hey Gabby,
         Welcome sweetie, you're at the right place!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Phoenixophine on August 12, 2014, 07:28:30 pm
Hi everyone! My name is Phoenix and I've just joined the site today.  I'd say I'm genderless, but can also be called agender, whichever is comfortable for you. I started questioning my gender at the beginning of this year, and I still have confusion occasionally, but for the most part I am confident in my gender identity. I've come out to my parents only recently and they're still not very accepting, but I believe they'll come around eventually :). I'm very excited to further participate in the forum!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Shantel on August 12, 2014, 08:37:53 pm
Welcome Phoenix!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Kira Phoenix on August 12, 2014, 09:28:27 pm
Hellos...my name is Kira. Lately I've been questioning my gender even more of late. I consider myself bigendered as I feel like I am both male and female. I prefer female pronouns however I am ok with androgyn pronouns as well.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: helen2010 on August 13, 2014, 01:44:33 am
Kira and Phoenix

Welcome to Susans.  I hope that you both find us friendly, supportive and willing to share our experience, perspective and information.  There is plenty of information on past and current threads accessible via the search function.  Many of us are on our unique journeys through the Unicorn Forest.  Many different non binaries to meet and spend time with.  Ours is a great sub community, non judgmental and always available if you need to vent.

Safe travels

Aisla
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Gabrielle_22 on August 13, 2014, 09:43:41 am
Hellos...my name is Kira. Lately I've been questioning my gender even more of late. I consider myself bigendered as I feel like I am both male and female. I prefer female pronouns however I am ok with androgyn pronouns as well.

Hi Kira,

you sound similar to me, as far as the gender spectrum goes. I tend to feel I lean much more towards my female side, prefer presenting as female when I can, and often wish I had been born a woman, but I still acknowledge a male side inside me that I "switch" between. I look forward to seeing your thoughts on being bi-gender, particularly pronouns and how people around you deal with them; the few friends I've "come out" to tend to get confused, unfortunately, by my shifting pronouns, though I hope this will improve with time.

Good luck on your journey and hope you find some answers here!
Title: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: RobinGee on August 15, 2014, 08:40:32 pm
I'm on a bouncing spectrum in between gender-nonconforming man and non op transwoman.   And I'm starting to think it's okay I don't really know
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Shantel on August 15, 2014, 09:20:51 pm
I'm on a bouncing spectrum in between gender-nonconforming man and non op transwoman.   And I'm starting to think it's okay I don't really know

Welcome here Robin, yeah we all go through the soul searching and eventually fine where we are most comfortable.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: DCRat on August 21, 2014, 08:26:35 pm
Hello, I will try to keep this short.
I was assigned female but didn't quite make the grade. My adoptive parents generally referred to me as It and admitted I should have been born a boy.
I am over 50 years old so grew up in a time of less info and resources. I first heard about <transgender> because of the tennis player Renee Richards when I was a young teen. I decided if the opposite could be done, I had no idea if it could and was too scared to ask, I would do it.
When I was little I would pray that I would wake up a boy. Most of my childhood I got asked if I was a boy or girl and was too scared to answer but tried to pass as a boy. I got punched and threatened a few times for that.
I won't write my life story here but I attempted to transition several years ago but since I had too many issues with family, Life and etc I quit.
Now I ID in my private daydream life as male and try to fit in as a woman the real world but I really don't.
There is so much more but that's enough for now.
I am not make or female , I just am a person .
Peace.

Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Shantel on August 22, 2014, 11:25:23 am
Welcome DCRat to your new home and your extended family!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: DCRat on August 23, 2014, 07:20:44 am
Thank you Shantel.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Dread_Faery on September 03, 2014, 05:53:48 pm
Technically I don't have a none binary identity, but my presentation is definitely androgynous... well most of the time. I just wanted to say hi, because last time I passed through this way the NB folk were always really nice. So hi everyone.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Shantel on September 03, 2014, 06:16:33 pm
Technically I don't have a none binary identity, but my presentation is definitely androgynous... well most of the time. I just wanted to say hi, because last time I passed through this way the NB folk were always really nice. So hi everyone.

Hi hon,
     Welcome back always!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Dread_Faery on September 04, 2014, 10:07:38 am
Is fruitcake still the arch nemesis?
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Shantel on September 04, 2014, 10:17:21 am
Is fruitcake still the arch nemesis?

I dunno, it has a shelf life of 25 years even though no one eats it and re-gifts it every year! I suppose the gist of the question went over my head.... :icon_ballbounce:
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Dread_Faery on September 06, 2014, 12:32:55 pm
I believe that years ago, the evil meta-cake invaded the unicorn forest, disrupting the calm and harmony, until everyone banded together and cast it back into the void where it belongs. It may be true, it may be legend... I think few remain who remember those days, let alone took part in the battle.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Mark3 on September 08, 2014, 08:42:47 pm
I've been slowly trying to figure myself out since I joined here, without many concrete answers at first.. I joined as just an allie / supporter for reasons I didn't really know at the time, hiding behind the CISgender label because it's all I've ever known, and because I didn't know what was going on inside me, or really understood myself at all then.?? I still don't to be honest, but I'm learning a lot every day now, and things are starting to fit together in my mind, like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, and I'm slowly seeing a true picture of who and what I really am..

I think I've reached the conclusion that at least until I discover other or new things about myself, that I belong in this group, Non-Binary.. I feel male, but with a very feminine part that seems to get stronger all the time..? For now, I have no wish to present differently, how I feel basically hasn't much to do with me on the outside, but everything to do with me on the inside.. Maybe that may change some day, but I'm not there yet..? I don't know what else to say..??

Im born male, but had a lot of very unhappy years especially during puberty trying to fit in anywhere..? I've used the following explanation about me for years while not knowing why, "I feel like a musical note that is a half octave flat or sharp, but never feeling in-tune with others around me".. I'm realizing now that it's because my brain-gender is not as much male as I always assumed.. Being more comfortable around women my whole life, having close female friends refer to me as one of they're girlfriends (in a joking way) but it's absolutely true.. Now I run women's fashion fan pages online etc, and I thought I was going crazy at one point, but it's just who I am, I don't try to be this way, I don't choose it, it's just where my mind is, thus where I follow in my actions...

My SO has accepted me always, which I feel very lucky and blessed by, she's never ever been jealous of me having female friends, and even though I haven't talked much to her about the things I'm typing here, I think she already has a better idea of who I am than I probably do.. One of these days I'll talk to her more in depth, but I really want to better understand myself first, so I will use the right words and sound like I know what I'm talking about, I'm not there yet though...

So, I guess this is my label among the group here, even though I don't like labels, another reason I like the term "Non-Binary", because it's very broad and inclusive of a lot of people..

So, this is me, feeling vulnerable in admitting these things tonight, not ready to speak of them openly in real life yet, or on Fb or other pages, but I feel very comfortable here with this group, so I will do my best to be me...
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Shantel on September 09, 2014, 11:59:04 am
I feel very comfortable here with this group, so I will do my best to be me...

Glad you're here and feeling comfortable, it was a good introspective commentary, we all do this because it's part of being real instead of living in a cloud of self delusion as some seem to prefer. Eventually we all find center for our own life rather than living several degrees off bubble trying to emulate someone else's life it never feels good!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: captains on September 22, 2014, 04:06:39 am
Ok, I feel really awkward about introducing, but I've made enough posts in these last few days that I feel like I should, y'know, deliver an official hello or something.

Anyway. Hi, I'm Cam, I'm a first year medical student from Portland, OR. I finally made it to these forums after a desperate late-night Google search, and I'm already grateful. I wish I'd had a place like this back when I was in high school or early undergrad.

Anyway, as far as genderstuff goes, I've been skirting the edges of gender variance since my late teens, but it wasn't until about a year ago that I began to identify as trans. I have to admit, it was something of a rocky start, too -- there was a lot of internalized garbage in my way.

I'd seen one of those infographics, you know the type? Zine style, from the POV of a non-binary person. And as I read it, I got so angry. In retrospect, I'm really ashamed, but at the time, I was just fist-swinging pissed. I thought, "How DARE this person claim to be trans, when their experience is so similar to mine, and OBVIOUSLY I'm cis!" Cis-as-default was so deeply rooted in my brain, that I didn't even stop to think that maybe I was trans, and not the other way around. Of course, I kept my irritation to myself, but jeez, it was an unfriendly time in my brain. A lot of anger, a lot of doubt, and a hell of a lot of dysphoria. Intellectually, I knew that not everyone fit into that "I always knew I was born in the wrong body!" narrative, but emotionally, I struggled to accept to the validity of the in-between, the liminal areas between cis and trans, male and female.

These days, I'm feeling a lot better about things (although the line between binary and non-binary is still something I'm navigating for myself), and I'm eager to meet people who kinda sorta Get It. So yeah, that's my spiel. Hope it's alright that I posted here! It just seemed right.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: EchelonHunt on September 22, 2014, 06:01:50 am
Cam,

Welcome! There are many people still discovering new qualities about themselves (myself included) when it comes to the line between binary and non-binary.

I can relate to the anger you felt. I was previously angry beforehand, that having gone through HRT (originally wanted to have top surgery without going on HRT first but was denied as HRT was a requirement back then), only to find out that there were non-binary/genderqueer individuals who had managed to receive a letter for top surgery without dealing with the requirement to go onto HRT. I was angry but I have since gotten over it as I know now that with the FTM bottom surgeries I desire, HRT would have been inevitable anyway.

You are not alone :)

Kind regards,

Jacey
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Taka on September 22, 2014, 06:48:34 am
i'm angry at unfair requirements!

and welcome cam.
it's good to hear you're starting to get to know yourself.
i'm sure you're a much more wonderful person than you ever knew.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Dread_Faery on September 22, 2014, 08:25:53 am
I'm generally just an angry feminist

Anyway, welcome to the forest Cam.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: captains on September 22, 2014, 01:43:06 pm
Thanks for the warm welcome, everyone. And I'm right there with you guys, re: anger at the world's injustices. While I'm more than ready for my frustration with my body and my sense of self to fade, productive anger, like the kind that motivates positive change? Well, that's the kind I'm alright with keeping around.

I really appreciate all your kind words. The idea of having a community I can share some of these things with is so ... incredible to me, I cant even really express it.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Shantel on September 22, 2014, 05:01:40 pm
Welcome Cam!
           I'm a bit slow catching up been offline for several days. Your story sounds very familiar to me, so I can assure you that you're at the right place now! "We're all mad as hell and we're not taking it anymore either!" One of my favorite and most descriptive movie lines that says it all for those of us here.  ;D
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: TeeBoi on September 22, 2014, 08:16:38 pm
Hey there all

I'm Tee, I identify as a genderqueer transmasculine xx boi, but I'm currently presenting as a cis dyke because i've got massive knockers (am I allowed to say that?)
I've just signed up to be sociable, really, so I hope to get to know people soon :)

Ciao peeps x
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Dread_Faery on September 22, 2014, 08:18:36 pm
Hi and welcome to the forest  :)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Taka on September 23, 2014, 02:20:54 am
welcome tee!

you sound like an interesting person. will be fun to socialize with you.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Shantel on September 23, 2014, 09:38:34 am
Hey there Tee, welcome to the farm! No-one knocks knockers here, it's all quite acceptable trust me!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Jaded Jade on September 25, 2014, 11:57:44 pm
I am genetically male, 39, with a wonderfully understanding wife, and after much ado finally losing my illusions and addressing my GD.

I am Androgyne more than anything, I know that it is a stepping stone for many to go further but I don't think that is the case for me.  The taste of low dose HRT that I have has erased any doubts that I have about not having GD.  But being non-binary it is a scary path ahead and I am closer to the start of it than the end.

If anyone has a reference for a good NB gender therapist in Baltimore or Columbia MD I would be grateful!  : )

- JJ
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Shantel on September 26, 2014, 09:02:32 am
I am genetically male, 39, with a wonderfully understanding wife, and after much ado finally losing my illusions and addressing my GD.

I am Androgyne more than anything, I know that it is a stepping stone for many to go further but I don't think that is the case for me.  The taste of low dose HRT that I have has erased any doubts that I have about not having GD.  But being non-binary it is a scary path ahead and I am closer to the start of it than the end.

If anyone has a reference for a good NB gender therapist in Baltimore or Columbia MD I would be grateful!  : )

- JJ

Welcome JJ,
           You're in good company here!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: D.N. on October 12, 2014, 06:17:24 pm
Posted a forumwide intro, I guess I might as well introduce myself directly to the other NB folks as well :0

I'm trigender, technically, but I flux and flow between three genders that are superficially very similar (three nonbinary genders, mind), so half the time I introduce myself as agender just because people seem to be more aware of it.

I'm FAAB (female-assigned-at-birth), but not FTX/FTN/FTA or "female-bodied"; my body was assigned a gender without my permission, but it is my body, so it is a nonbinary body. Simple. I do intend to physically transition, though, in a manner of speaking. Binding for the rest of my life is not an appealing prospect ;P

Ahh, anyway, I'll probably be frequenting this corner of the site, so I'll probably talk to a lot of you here and there! :)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Shantel on October 12, 2014, 06:39:50 pm
Posted a forumwide intro, I guess I might as well introduce myself directly to the other NB folks as well :0

I'm trigender, technically, but I flux and flow between three genders that are superficially very similar (three nonbinary genders, mind), so half the time I introduce myself as agender just because people seem to be more aware of it.

I'm FAAB (female-assigned-at-birth), but not FTX/FTN/FTA or "female-bodied"; my body was assigned a gender without my permission, but it is my body, so it is a nonbinary body. Simple. I do intend to physically transition, though, in a manner of speaking. Binding for the rest of my life is not an appealing prospect ;P

Ahh, anyway, I'll probably be frequenting this corner of the site, so I'll probably talk to a lot of you here and there! :)

You fit right in here, welcome again!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Mark3 on October 12, 2014, 08:31:48 pm
Welcome D.N. ,

Welcome to the forest..

It's great to have you here, looking forward to posting with you on things.

Please feel at home, you are definitely in good company here..!

It's nice to meet you again,
Mark
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: helen2010 on October 13, 2014, 12:56:31 am
D.N. Welcome to our piece of paradise.  Many different folk, different narratives and experiences.  We look forward to seeing you on the paths that run across this forest of ours.

Safe travels

Aisla
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Taka on October 13, 2014, 03:10:42 am
welcome d.n.!

it's really cool to have an "it" here.
and i'm glad to see more people who are born in their own body, rather than being trapped in someone else's.
my body is my own too and very far from either binary, though it's also close.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Satinjoy on October 13, 2014, 05:57:32 am
Posted a forumwide intro, I guess I might as well introduce myself directly to the other NB folks as well :0

I'm trigender, technically, but I flux and flow between three genders that are superficially very similar (three nonbinary genders, mind), so half the time I introduce myself as agender just because people seem to be more aware of it.

I'm FAAB (female-assigned-at-birth), but not FTX/FTN/FTA or "female-bodied"; my body was assigned a gender without my permission, but it is my body, so it is a nonbinary body. Simple. I do intend to physically transition, though, in a manner of speaking. Binding for the rest of my life is not an appealing prospect ;P

Ahh, anyway, I'll probably be frequenting this corner of the site, so I'll probably talk to a lot of you here and there! :)

Looking forward to it dear.  And welcome to the diamond mine of trans...
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: rabbitrage on October 26, 2014, 04:47:36 am
Hi everyone-

I'm Dylan, and I'm 29 and masculine of centre. Pre-everything FT?. I'm from Australia and I'm queer as can be and in a relationship with a fantastic human being who is totally supportive. I don't know too many LGBTQ people offline, so I'm trying to find somewhere to talk about all my gender weirdness.
I like cats, art, metal and singular they pronouns.

Good to meet you all. :)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Taka on October 26, 2014, 11:51:03 am
nice to meet you dylan!
you sound like a nice person, i hope to see you participate in our discussions about... weirdness.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: helen2010 on October 26, 2014, 02:52:23 pm
Dylan

Welcome to the NB forum.  A lot of diversity as well as a few folk from Oz.  Take your time to look around there is a lot of great information on past threads from past and current contributors.  We look forward to having you join in as well as starting threads.  I think we all take the view that we are unique aka weird so we cover a broad range of narratives and most take the view that this journey is about understanding, accepting and expressing ourselves.  Along the way we can share experiences, perspectives, fears and concerns and we will listen and support you as we have been supported in turn.

Safe travels

Aisla
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Azeri on October 31, 2014, 05:29:23 pm
Bigender, born with female bits. :)

I love dancing my heart out at work, acting like a fool and getting people to dance with me or laugh with me, an artist, and generally a fool who's drunk on life.

I've had my hardships too, surviving all that is what has made my life better.  I've come out the other side of clinical depression as a dancing fool, a searcher in search of spiritual and natural truths, and a book and music nerd. :)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Shantel on October 31, 2014, 05:53:34 pm
Bigender, born with female bits. :)

I love dancing my heart out at work, acting like a fool and getting people to dance with me or laugh with me, an artist, and generally a fool who's drunk on life.

I've had my hardships too, surviving all that is what has made my life better.  I've come out the other side of clinical depression as a dancing fool, a searcher in search of spiritual and natural truths, and a book and music nerd. :)

Welcome Azeri, from one dancing fool to another, glad you found us hon!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Taka on November 01, 2014, 12:02:23 pm
welcome.
bigender is an interesting thing, i hope you like it!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Dread_Faery on November 01, 2014, 05:35:19 pm
Hi and welcome. Dancing is the best  :D
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: lorax on November 04, 2014, 09:17:13 pm
I'm Lorax for all intents and purposes. <|:)

I'm a faab neutrois person, I guess. I'm also asexual and I am romantically attracted to females, I think. (I've only had one crush and it developed over the course of a year, and it was on a girl.) I prefer "they" pronouns. Physically, I'm pre-transition, although I do bind (and pack sometimes) and I've come out to several people who I'm close to irl.

My chest is my top source of physical dysphoria, followed closely by my weak, flabby arms, my wide hips, my inability to pee standing up, and my squeaky voice. It's weird because I sing and I'm an alto-tenor, which is really low for faab pre-transition people, but my speaking voice is much higher, and I tend to have effeminate mannerisms and intonations when I talk.

I'm a huge nerd. I love biology and I know tons of animal facts by heart. Animals fascinate me. I want to become a marine biologist, I think.

I also love art. I usually sketch, write poetry and prose, and act, but I also sing and paint (though not as well).

I like reading/watching/writing sci-fi, fantasy, and horror. And I love musicals.

I love backpacking, hiking, and camping, and playing in the dirt, and making snow forts, and such.

I have two cats who are ridiculously fluffy. We think they're part maine coon and part ragdoll. They are very large, and are indoor cats so their fur is still pretty much like a kitten's even though they're both six.

I'm an agnostic. I don't think that there is any evidence of a god or higher power, but there isn't conclusive evidence on the contrary, either. I would just live my life the same way even if I knew one way or the other, so I don't personally see any point to doing anything differently. However, I love to learn about other cultures and religions, because I think it's fascinating. And I don't judge anyone for their religion. <|:)

I'm twice exceptional meaning that I have a high IQ (99.97th percentile) and learning disorders. I am a creative person and biology and art come very naturally to me. However, there are some things in my brain that make producing work difficult for me, like dyslexia, dysgraphia, adhd, dyscalculia (math dyslexia basically), auditory and visual processing disorders, and dyspraxia (in essence it's like my central nervous system is disconnected from my brain, so I am extremely uncoordinated and have low muscle tone. So basically I'm so clumsy they named it. <|:P)

Right now, I envision my perfect post-transition body to be nearly identical to a kid's before puberty (although stronger and taller, of course.) I don't want facial hair, I don't mind a bit of body hair (I never shave so everything's pretty hairy already and I have polycystic ovary syndrome which I read somewhere can lead to extra hair growth. I have a hairy navel and faint sideburns and unibrow and upper-lip fuzz, and my buttcrack is really hairy. lol sorry if that's tmi <|:P) but I want to get rid of my boobs and nipples (don't need them, they have higher risk of getting infected in top surgery, and I won't have to ever worry about my nipples being visible through my shirt if it's cold out) and I'm considering having all of my sex organs taken out (again, don't need 'em) and rerouting my urethra to a tiny prosthetic micro-penis so I can pee standing up (great for camping lol), maybe having a really low dose of T for fat redistribution, voice change, and muscle gain. Idk.

[I currently have absolutely no idea how I could fund this...I'm going to college next year and my parents aren't paying for any of it, and they said that even on the small off-chance that our insurance pays for some of it, my mom is going to make me wait until I'm twenty-five to get top surgery and she's not paying for T at all because she says it's unsafe. ugh. Sorry for that rant...<|:P]

Fun facts about me: My ears have ruffled edges <|:) I wear a hat every day <|:) My favorite animal is a shark <|:) I love REPO! the genetic opera <|:)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Taka on November 05, 2014, 03:26:13 am
welcome lorax!
i think i've seen you here a couple times already though...?

i'm hoping you can get your body fixed without too much troubles.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: lorax on November 05, 2014, 06:24:23 pm
Thank you! <|:D

Yes, I have posted other things but I just decided to introduce myself officially. <|:P

haha yes I hope so too. I really don't want to wait till I'm in grad school to even start transitioning, but it's looking like that is going to be the case. <|:P

Anyway, it's really awesome to meet everyone here! You all are amazing people and I am very thankful to have your advice <|:)

Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Amato on November 08, 2014, 09:53:26 pm
Hey everyone,

I identify as female, am primarily feminine/androgynous, and like having a female body. But I also, sometimes, want to look, sound, and carry myself like a masculine man. I struggle with whether or not I'm transgender since I identify with the gender I was assigned at birth. However, I feel safer around other people who have mixed gender presentations and I hope you'll bear with me while I try to figure out my identity.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Shantel on November 09, 2014, 09:11:14 am
Hey everyone,

I identify as female, am primarily feminine/androgynous, and like having a female body. But I also, sometimes, want to look, sound, and carry myself like a masculine man. I struggle with whether or not I'm transgender since I identify with the gender I was assigned at birth. However, I feel safer around other people who have mixed gender presentations and I hope you'll bear with me while I try to figure out my identity.

Hi AnonBear!
          Seems like you are at the right place here, welcome and hope you will feel free to share with some posts. There's a lot to read here from others who share your same physical and mental ID so you're in good company!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Amato on November 09, 2014, 10:34:38 am
Sweet, thank's Shantel. :)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Taka on November 09, 2014, 12:10:58 pm
heya anonbear!

bigender is a real thing for some. it's unfortunately impossible to change between super feminine woman and equally masculine man whenever you feel like it.
but that doesn't mean the feeling of wanting to isn't real.

just have fun with us until you figure something out.
or have fun without figuring it out.
doesn't really matter here whether you know for sure or not.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Amato on November 09, 2014, 12:38:23 pm
heya anonbear!

bigender is a real thing for some. it's unfortunately impossible to change between super feminine woman and equally masculine man whenever you feel like it.
but that doesn't mean the feeling of wanting to isn't real.

just have fun with us until you figure something out.
or have fun without figuring it out.
doesn't really matter here whether you know for sure or not.

Man, if only. I'd love to switch from being male to female whenever the mood hit me. Unfortunately the only thing I can change is my clothes, makeup, and workout for the muscle mass. But if I could transform...

Ah well, that's a dream. Bottom line is Im glad no one in the unicorn forest (so far) is put off by me identifying with the gender I was assigned at birth. I dont know if Im bigender or what, but I'll try to figure it out. Thanks for makin me feel welcome.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Taka on November 09, 2014, 01:50:19 pm
i often feel kind of womanly. just rarely online.
after trying and failing couple times, i ended up changing my online gender to male.
life online never became good before i changed at least that gender.

nice avatar btw.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Amato on November 09, 2014, 07:03:40 pm
Its interesting how certain situations can make us feel like we should be more feminine or masculine. I wonder what causes that feeling.

And thanks. Taito Magatsu ftw.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Mark3 on November 09, 2014, 07:25:34 pm
Hi Anonbear,
Hi Anonbear,
Its nice to meet you..

I don't know either what causes that feeling.?
I just know that I feel like that also..

Welcome to the forum.!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: helen2010 on November 10, 2014, 01:52:23 am
Its interesting how certain situations can make us feel like we should be more feminine or masculine. I wonder what causes that feeling.

And thanks. Taito Magatsu ftw.

This is a very interesting post. I am somewhat gender fluid and find this fluidity to be situationally based; my sense (at least to me) is, that an interaction is like a dance.  When someone leads you follow, when they wait you lead etc ... perhaps not a very good analogy but there is no doubt that some folk bring out the feminine aspect from me on some occasions, but on another occasion the same person also seems able to bring out my male aspect.  I have pondered this and while in part,  it feels that I am being called upon (or at least feel it is appropriate) to be dominant or submissive,  nurturing or driving .... I think that my response is also impacted by energy level, mood etc.  Does any one else have a similar experience?

Safe travels

Aisla
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Taka on November 10, 2014, 02:13:58 am
i react differently to different people.
some get fluidity going in me, always one gender or the other.
but others are more spiritual beings than some sort of gendered or sexual human being, and they do not get any gender aspect out of me, really. other than that which is my natural state somewhere underneath layers of genders.
there are also people who pretty much always get a default female response, this might be because it's easier to be a female type of nice and smiling brightly. it annoys me that there are such odd expectations of females, but living up to them doesn't really cost me much and is better than people thinking i'm grumpy or rejecting them.

but on some days, or in some moods, it's difficult to find fluidity, and i can suddenly find myself unable to give the response of a gender that i don't experience at all in that mood.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Trying to be me on November 10, 2014, 11:34:58 pm
Hi all. I'm so glad I found this site. I've been searching all over for some kind of support network. I've been going out of my mind because I don't have anyone to talk to about this and I have so much in my brain right now.  It's sort of a long, complicated story but basically, this week I have finally come to realize and accept that I am gender fluid. It was so obvious I don't know why I didn't see it before.

I have always been a tomboy, even as a toddler I'd rip lacy or other frilly things off cause I didn't like them. When I got a little older, I wore shorts under my church dresses. I was often considered one of the guys and everyone joked about how much of a tomboy I was. A lot of it was attributed me having 3 older brothers and getting all their hand-me-downs. Everyone thought I'd grow out of it. I didn't.

As I got older I tried to dress more girly because that's what girls are supposed to do but I always leaned towards the masculine side. I was just more comfortable that way. I did, however, still like to look pretty and in my early 20's started to enjoy wearing dresses and make-up, at least for short periods of time. They made me feel pretty. (I'm 27)

I never felt completely comfortable though in either boy or girl clothes. Sometimes I hated wearing baggy shorts and shirts. Sometimes I loved it. Sometimes I loved my breasts and tried to emphasize them. Many times I would try to hide them under large clothes and didn't want people looking at me  I realize now that's because of my ever changing gender and that I am often neutral.

A lot of this was realized this week and I have been feeling male for a few days. Before yesterday, I was ashamed of how I was feeling and wasn't comfortable in any of my clothes. Then after my epiphany last night, everything changed. I woke up this morning feeling less stressed. I found an old pair of boxers of my ex-husbands, my baggiest pants, and a sports bra. Although I wasn't able to completely dress how I was feeling, it felt great. I was ok with being male. I knew I wasn't weird or crazy. I had finally found a name for the way I had been feeling my whole life.

I ordered a binder and am so excited/nervous for it to get here. I want to express my genders more. I want to dress how I feel instead of how everyone is telling me a girl should dress. I'm not sure yet how far male I'll go in dress but I think I'm going to try to pass as male, when I'm having that kind of day. Just to see if I like it. I have a deep voice and many male mannerisms. (I do know that I am not transgender.) I have a lot of exploring to do and I'm hoping this site will help with my brain overload and help me figure out how to be me.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on November 10, 2014, 11:49:33 pm
Welcome aboard Ttbm,

Your brain overload with a long and complicated story sounds familiar here as does you new found fluidity.  Your explorations and rejection of shame were apparently very liberating for you. bravo, keep it up.  Being yourself sounds like perfect advice ;)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Amato on November 10, 2014, 11:51:47 pm
Hey there TTBM. Your situation sounds pretty similar to mine, which is pretty cool. Congrats on accepting yourself and being who you are. Will be looking forward to seeing your posts on the forum.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Taka on November 11, 2014, 08:32:01 am
welcome, person who's trying to be me... i mean, you.

it's interesting how you say you aren't transgender. did you mean transsexual by that?
or do you identify as female even when your gender is male?

i am transgender, even if i do less than you to dress the male side of my gender.
accepting myself for who i am and dropping the shame, got rid of all my stress to transition or whatever.
i still want to, i have a way too feminine body for my own personal comfort, but i don't feel i need it in order to be happy.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Jak on November 11, 2014, 09:04:53 am
Well, after a few days of reading, I thought I should take the plunge and post - though for no particular reason it's giving me anxiety...

I have a very long story, too long to post here. In short, I have finally figured out that I am non-binary. I suppose I should have had a clue when, several years ago, I had a cancer scare and thought, "This would be okay. I could ask for a bilateral mastectomy." Well, I was fine. But I'd still like to have my breasts removed. I'd like low-does T just to "even things out" a bit. Unfortunately I am in the second decade of a relationship with someone who would not respond well to any of this. I think our teenage son would handle it better. Anyway, I just wanted to post something. So glad to have found this forum. Looking back, had I really allowed myself to reflect on this I would figured it out sooner. I always knew that I wanted a "more male" body, but I didn't want to transition completely. Discovering 'non-binary' has given me a home.

Be well.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on November 11, 2014, 10:39:17 am
Like a few others here I denied, hid and repressed my feelings and purged my material things too long.  Three years ago I could not accept being trans as the few trans people I had met were very binary and my life did not seem to fit.  Later I met a person who presented as non binary and agender when they made a diversity presentation here.  I was very agitated and left before they finished speaking.  I was even paradoxically angry, my cover was blown away.  Counseling followed soon after and I have never felt so free and right with myself.  Finally, my entire life made sense from this non binary transgender perspective.

It's about allowing ourselves the freedom to be our most authentic self...some times that takes a little work and a voyage of discovery, set sail soon. :D
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Trying to be me on November 11, 2014, 11:19:57 am
welcome, person who's trying to be me... i mean, you.

it's interesting how you say you aren't transgender. did you mean transsexual by that?
or do you identify as female even when your gender is male?


Thanks for the welcome.

What I meant by saying I'm not transgender is that I do not want to transition to a male body. I don't want to have surgeries or take T. I don't want to become physically male, beyond binding. For the most part, I don't feel like I was born into the wrong body. My body just doesn't always match my constantly changing feelings; I'm a guy, I'm a girl, I'm both, I'm neither - depending on he the day.  You get what I'm saying?
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Trying to be me on November 11, 2014, 11:22:32 am
Thank you Tessa and AnonBear for the warm welcomes.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Shantel on November 11, 2014, 11:50:13 am
Thank you Tessa and AnonBear for the warm welcomes.

Add one more, welcome to the big family!  :icon_bunch:
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Amato on November 11, 2014, 02:40:17 pm
Quote
Thank you Tessa and AnonBear for the warm welcomes.

NP

Well, after a few days of reading, I thought I should take the plunge and post - though for no particular reason it's giving me anxiety...

I have a very long story, too long to post here. In short, I have finally figured out that I am non-binary. I suppose I should have had a clue when, several years ago, I had a cancer scare and thought, "This would be okay. I could ask for a bilateral mastectomy." Well, I was fine. But I'd still like to have my breasts removed. I'd like low-does T just to "even things out" a bit. Unfortunately I am in the second decade of a relationship with someone who would not respond well to any of this. I think our teenage son would handle it better. Anyway, I just wanted to post something. So glad to have found this forum. Looking back, had I really allowed myself to reflect on this I would figured it out sooner. I always knew that I wanted a "more male" body, but I didn't want to transition completely. Discovering 'non-binary' has given me a home.

Be well.

I can also relate to this. Boy the more people show up with stories I relate to the better I feel about being at susan's.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Shantel on November 11, 2014, 02:49:04 pm
Well, after a few days of reading, I thought I should take the plunge and post - though for no particular reason it's giving me anxiety...

I have a very long story, too long to post here. In short, I have finally figured out that I am non-binary. I suppose I should have had a clue when, several years ago, I had a cancer scare and thought, "This would be okay. I could ask for a bilateral mastectomy." Well, I was fine. But I'd still like to have my breasts removed. I'd like low-does T just to "even things out" a bit. Unfortunately I am in the second decade of a relationship with someone who would not respond well to any of this. I think our teenage son would handle it better. Anyway, I just wanted to post something. So glad to have found this forum. Looking back, had I really allowed myself to reflect on this I would figured it out sooner. I always knew that I wanted a "more male" body, but I didn't want to transition completely. Discovering 'non-binary' has given me a home.

Be well.

Hey Jak, glad you're here, the NB family is growing rapidly, you are a good fit!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: JulieBlair on November 11, 2014, 06:21:56 pm
Hello everyone, it is good to be back home and to see new people.  I think that it is important for me to remember that how I feel about myself and my gender is never wrong.  It is simply how I feel, girl, boy, both, neither are all valid and all okay.  Last weekend I was a girl, dancing about Bent Con, and having a wonderful time in LA.  Today I am back in Seattle and shifting into something else.  Tomorrow my engineer side which is pretty dude_ish is going to keep me out of trouble.  It is all good and all me.

Happy and tired,
Julie

PS I missed you guys.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Trying to be me on November 11, 2014, 08:09:45 pm
Welcome Jak!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Taka on November 12, 2014, 04:00:39 am
welcome, jak!
it's nice to see more people here who want to do "something", but not "everything".

What I meant by saying I'm not transgender is that I do not want to transition to a male body. I don't want to have surgeries or take T. I don't want to become physically male, beyond binding. For the most part, I don't feel like I was born into the wrong body. My body just doesn't always match my constantly changing feelings; I'm a guy, I'm a girl, I'm both, I'm neither - depending on he the day.  You get what I'm saying?
mhmm... i get it.
you're lucky, really, to be that comfortable with your body.
i like my own body quite well. it doesn't feel like someone else's, like i'm trapped in a... uh..
i'm not too sure i get what i mean. i constantly forget the differences between sex and gender and me and what i'm probably not.
"transgender" is a term that's meant to cover also those who have a different gender identity than what fits well with their birth sex, but don't really want to transition physically. but if you don't feel like it's a right term for you, "non-binary" is more than enough to say something about you.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Shantel on November 12, 2014, 10:09:25 am
Hello everyone, it is good to be back home and to see new people.  I think that it is important for me to remember that how I feel about myself and my gender is never wrong.  It is simply how I feel, girl, boy, both, neither are all valid and all okay.  Last weekend I was a girl, dancing about Bent Con, and having a wonderful time in LA.  Today I am back in Seattle and shifting into something else.  Tomorrow my engineer side which is pretty dude_ish is going to keep me out of trouble.  It is all good and all me.

Happy and tired,
Julie

PS I missed you guys.

You were missed here too!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on November 12, 2014, 10:12:05 am
Yes Julie we missed you and want to hear more about that Bent Con in LA?
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Trying to be me on November 12, 2014, 12:31:46 pm
mhmm... i get it.
you're lucky, really, to be that comfortable with your body.
i like my own body quite well. it doesn't feel like someone else's, like i'm trapped in a... uh..
i'm not too sure i get what i mean. i constantly forget the differences between sex and gender and me and what i'm probably not.
"transgender" is a term that's meant to cover also those who have a different gender identity than what fits well with their birth sex, but don't really want to transition physically. but if you don't feel like it's a right term for you, "non-binary" is more than enough to say something about you.

I still have my issues. I still get body dysmorphia. I just don't want to make any permanent changes to my body. Maybe one day I'll change my mind. I don't know. I'm remaining openminded.  Maybe this is TMI but I won't lie and say I've never had penis envy.

Thanks for clearing that up for me. I'm still learning all the terms. There are so many!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Jak on November 12, 2014, 12:50:59 pm
Thanks for the welcomes!

I've been doing a lot of reading. I know what I want. How to bring it up at home is another story... I look forward to 'seeing' folks in the forums!

Be well.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Taka on November 13, 2014, 04:16:16 am
i don't think i have penis envy. i'd have to envy people for their penes for that, wouldn't i?
i'm just weirded out that i don't have one, and feel like good dreams never last long enough.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: DKTGSupport on December 21, 2014, 05:00:08 am
I'm 41 yo MAAB, found my sexuality or the lack of it through another site called : www.asexuality.org.
Are trying to accept that having sex will never happen.
Have being annoyed by my erections, but after figuring out who I was it has decreased with 30 %.
If I were in my early 20's I would love to seek a nullification.

Other accounts+nick  :
YT : DKTGSupport
Eunuch archive : Royal Creative

Today I see myself as agender, on websites I'm VERY open about my secret wish to become a neutrois.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on December 21, 2014, 11:21:28 am
Welcome to Susan's and the non binary forum.  You are not alone in seeking nullification and others here have expressed similar interests.  I hope you enjoy the many thousands of personal posts and find more or what matters to you.  Happy Solstice too.

Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: DoYouRealize on December 22, 2014, 06:29:36 am
Hello all. I'm enjoying the diversity here, and the kindness.
I'm going by Gatsby. I'm 35 & genderfluid, or genderqueer, or gender-something.
The bod & chromosomes are female, & i've recently begun taking T to address a wee bit of dysphoria and take me towards a more androgynous physical form. I generally like my body.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on December 23, 2014, 02:56:53 pm
Diversity plus!  And yes, kindness and even love when we're not being bitchy;-)

A warm holiday welcome to you, our Great Gatsby.

I am very sure there are many here who can relate to your situation.  I applaud your personal comfort and willingness to embrace the non binary options.   Welcome aboard.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: JulieBlair on December 23, 2014, 04:50:25 pm
It is always wonderful to meet a new seeker.  You may have already looked around some, but there is a lot of wisdom, friendship and love on these pages.  Welcome!

Julie
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: gildedfire on December 26, 2014, 05:56:34 am
Hello, I am a non-binary who was born female and I like to go by the name of Chess and the they pronouns. I am nowhere near open with how I feel about my gender, and while I feel like neither gender my features are decided female to my great discomfort. I am hoping to be able to talk to others about their own genders to try and feel more comfortable with my own (: Thank you for your time.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on December 26, 2014, 11:09:04 am
Good morning Chess and welcome to the bright and non binary part of the forum.  I expect you can find this an OK place to share your feelings about gender.  There are many of us here that do not fit the usual mold or mantras.  Some of that is more than those uncomfortable features you mention and we share a long rambling and sometimes focused dialogue about it.  We are far more than our superficial looks reveal.  Getting to know one another and ourselves can take some time.  I hope to see you around.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: genderirrelevant on December 28, 2014, 04:52:12 pm
Hi! I'm closing in on 50, AFAB.

I guess my most dominant characteristic that sets me apart from 'normal' people is that I'm very asocial. I don't connect well with people and I tend to prefer doing things on my own. One of the major benefits has been that I have had very little hassle for being asexual and agender. Nobody tries to hook me up. Work clothes are T-shirts and sweats/spandex. Probably no one has an inkling I'm trans*/non-binary except for one friend in another city I've told. Internally I've never considered myself a woman.

I have an appointment in 2 days to see a surgeon about getting the boobs removed. I'm not trying to transition to male. I don't mind female pronouns but I don't want the body to be so grotesquely female. I can't say a single positive thing about my lumps since they first appeared. I hated them even before they got too big and saggy. I don't own any clothes that 'fit better' over breasts. The only days they aren't an embarrassment to me are days home alone and I still hate them for being in the way and uncomfortable.

I never really thought someone like me could get surgery (w/o cancer) until  I ran across neutrois.me a couple months ago and I started looking around and finding others like me. I immediately knew I would get top surgery. No hesitation, I've wanted it all my life. I suppose the thing that gives me the most trepidation is who do I have to tell beforehand and what. I don't think it's anybody's business because no one will be affected other than the time I take off work. Still, there are bound to be questions. I don't want to lie and say I have cancer. I don't want to imply my change is a shallow fashion choice like a new haircut.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on December 29, 2014, 11:49:50 am
Hi! I'm closing in on 50, AFAB.

I guess my most dominant characteristic that sets me apart from 'normal' people is that I'm very asocial. I don't connect well with people and I tend to prefer doing things on my own. One of the major benefits has been that I have had very little hassle for being asexual and agender. Nobody tries to hook me up. Work clothes are T-shirts and sweats/spandex. Probably no one has an inkling I'm trans*/non-binary except for one friend in another city I've told. Internally I've never considered myself a woman.

I have an appointment in 2 days to see a surgeon about getting the boobs removed. I'm not trying to transition to male. I don't mind female pronouns but I don't want the body to be so grotesquely female. I can't say a single positive thing about my lumps since they first appeared. I hated them even before they got too big and saggy. I don't own any clothes that 'fit better' over breasts. The only days they aren't an embarrassment to me are days home alone and I still hate them for being in the way and uncomfortable.

I never really thought someone like me could get surgery (w/o cancer) until  I ran across neutrois.me a couple months ago and I started looking around and finding others like me. I immediately knew I would get top surgery. No hesitation, I've wanted it all my life. I suppose the thing that gives me the most trepidation is who do I have to tell beforehand and what. I don't think it's anybody's business because no one will be affected other than the time I take off work. Still, there are bound to be questions. I don't want to lie and say I have cancer. I don't want to imply my change is a shallow fashion choice like a new haircut

GI you bring up the matter of social precedent and fitting in--is there anyone really like me?   I did not think so and like you, the binary explanation for the worlds people was insufficient.   The truth is we are not terribly unusual but certainly not the mainstream view either.  It is OK to be especially unique and I admire your perseverance in achieving your goals.  The labels may not fit but we do have options about our bodily configuration.  Be the best you can for yourself.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: JulieBlair on December 29, 2014, 04:58:19 pm
Hi! I'm closing in on 50, AFAB.

I guess my most dominant characteristic that sets me apart from 'normal' people is that I'm very asocial. I don't connect well with people and I tend to prefer doing things on my own. One of the major benefits has been that I have had very little hassle for being asexual and agender. Nobody tries to hook me up. Work clothes are T-shirts and sweats/spandex. Probably no one has an inkling I'm trans*/non-binary except for one friend in another city I've told. Internally I've never considered myself a woman.

I have an appointment in 2 days to see a surgeon about getting the boobs removed. I'm not trying to transition to male. I don't mind female pronouns but I don't want the body to be so grotesquely female. I can't say a single positive thing about my lumps since they first appeared. I hated them even before they got too big and saggy. I don't own any clothes that 'fit better' over breasts. The only days they aren't an embarrassment to me are days home alone and I still hate them for being in the way and uncomfortable.

I never really thought someone like me could get surgery (w/o cancer) until  I ran across neutrois.me a couple months ago and I started looking around and finding others like me. I immediately knew I would get top surgery. No hesitation, I've wanted it all my life. I suppose the thing that gives me the most trepidation is who do I have to tell beforehand and what. I don't think it's anybody's business because no one will be affected other than the time I take off work. Still, there are bound to be questions. I don't want to lie and say I have cancer. I don't want to imply my change is a shallow fashion choice like a new haircut.

Hello and welcome,

It seems to me that you have articulated the two most important considerations for top surgery.  First that it is a considered action, Next that it really isn't anyones business other than your own.  If you choose to educate some; more power to you.  If not then it really is none of their concern.  Many of us (and by us I mean me) have discovered community as we became more authentic.  I live as I both choose to and need to today.  Suddenly the people who find that attractive exceed those who do not, and much against my own best judgement I have friends and people that I trust in my life now.  Having lived both ways, the latter for me anyway, is better.  Good luck with the surgical interview, I hope that you are able to find the body and expression that works for you.  That is the ultimate criteria after all - does it work?

Peace,
Julie
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Princen Nix on December 30, 2014, 01:11:05 am
Hi, my fellows,

I had been questioning my gender several months ago and I can now proudly state that I am neutrois. If this were just a phase it would have ended within the first few weeks like most everything I get into. I'm good with most any gender neutral pronouns, but I have a soft spot for ne/nem/nir/nemself. I'm currently only internet out, but I want to be out IRL someday.

Thanks for your time.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: JulieBlair on December 30, 2014, 08:43:05 am
Welcome to this little non-binary corner of the internet.  :)  I hope that as you explore you find your questions and your answers.  There is no correct way to be, and neither wrong questions nor wrong answers, just those things that work.  Thanks for coming by, and I am looking forward to your story.

Peace,
Julie
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Corvus on December 31, 2014, 01:47:49 pm
Hello, I'm still trying to figure out my name.. I've been going by Harvey, but I think I'm going to make that my middle name. My name might end up being Jaime/Jamie, Jean... maybe something else, not sure yet! I'm working through names with my friends and surprisingly supportive family. I do know I want they/them pronouns! I'm 16 years old and from north eastern USA. I'm neutrois and quite dysphoric about my body, unfortunately. My transition plans include top surgery and a hysterectomy, no HRT or bottom surgery.
I'm a little new to Susan's, although I've know my identity for.. almost a year now, maybe more? I really started solidifying my transgender indentity in August of 2013 I think. Hard to believe it's going to be 2015! in a matter of hours!
I came out to my parents recently, although my close friends have known for a while and they've been the best, most supportive people I can imagine.
I just want to say, I'm very glad to see so many people who are grown adults here. A lot of people dismiss this as a phase, or a teenage thing, and you all basically prove them wrong! Thank you for existing, you're all an inspiration and you give me hope.
I look forward to a wonderful time on this site!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on December 31, 2014, 02:20:11 pm
Welcome to Susan's Corvus, I'm out on the west coast.

As you are likely aware there is also a forum section here for youth.  Your age is encouraging to an old girl like me as it suggests more people are getting educated about gender non conformity, including parents.  You are certainly right on about this not being a phase too.  Most of the older transitioners I have met refer to a lifetime of knowing they are different but with little assistance available back then. 

 We seem to be encountering quite a few people lately who, like you, consider themselves neutrois.  That is relatively a new concept for many of us but sure makes sense.  Lots of people, including me, have not clearly felt our selves to be a single gender.  Terms like masculine and feminine are simply not adequate for describing people in the first place.  Good for you for having the strength and insight to work it out.  I might suggest you take your time and have fun with a name that is yours for a long time to come.  Happy New Year
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: genderirrelevant on December 31, 2014, 11:52:16 pm
I just want to say, I'm very glad to see so many people who are grown adults here. A lot of people dismiss this as a phase, or a teenage thing, and you all basically prove them wrong! Thank you for existing, you're all an inspiration and you give me hope.

I started saying I would never get married back when I was 12. I remember at 14 saying that if I hadn't changed my mind in 2 years then clearly I knew my own mind. Now I look back on that and chuckle a little at my naivety. I was right but I had little clue then so I could easily have turned out wrong. It's a little like all those Olympian athletes who knew they would get to the Olympics from an early age and they were right yet so many children declare they're going to the Olympics but many never even become adult athletes.

What I'm saying is that it's great you are actively thinking about who you are and what will help you be who you want to be but if it turns out to be a phase that's OK, too. Just as you don't have to lock yourself into the gender binary, you don't have to lock yourself forever into the identity that currently fits you best. I wish I'd known about non-binary identities when I was young. As a small child I assumed I was a girl and didn't have a problem with it but that 'phase' ended shortly before puberty. I never turned into a big girl or woman or lady. I'm just agender "me".
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: JamieRJ on January 04, 2015, 12:18:49 pm
Hi All,

My name is Jamie, I am a newly out agender, although I can trace being agender back to my childhood.

I am looking for information on transitioning FtN.

I have an appointment with my GP on Friday, next week, I am worried about how to discuss the issue with him. I am new to the Drs practice (I have only lived in the area for a few months) and I live in a small English town with very conservative values, so I am not sure how to approach it. I have had bad experiences with doctors in the past, particularly with regard to my asexuality and other things too.

I would like to be able to go in to my appointment armed with knowledge about what is available/possible, and I am struggling to find information about FtN transitions as most of the information is based on FtM or MtF.  Can anyone give me any advice?

Thanks

Jamie
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on January 04, 2015, 12:34:19 pm
Welcome to Susan's Jamie,

Congratulations for coming out!  I can readily appreciate your concerns about being outside of the MtF or FtM binary and dealing with assistance.  I was advised not to put any weight on my non binary perspective or risk the gatekeepers red flag.  Not sure how it works on your side of the pond but HRT is an important place to start and it works for us as non binary people too.  I don't like to be less than honest but vividly recall how little assistance I could find 20 years ago when I attempted to transition as non binary.  People were not cool to the idea of anything but a strict MtF perspective then.  Anything else was consider less serious crossdressing.

Your journey is unique and our goals and aspirations may change along the way.  I try to remember I don't have a specific destination so much as wanting and needing to enjoy my every day life.  Please share more of what you encounter.  You and other friends here are writing the next chapter in that book.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: JamieRJ on January 04, 2015, 12:54:02 pm
Thanks Tessa.

I started up a blog to chart my journey:

http://agender-agenda.blogspot.co.uk/

I thought it would be a good place to start  :D

Thanks
Jamie x
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: caseps on January 04, 2015, 05:09:13 pm
Hello, I'm Casey. I'm been reading through the forums here every once in a while for a few years, I think, but I didn't join until now. Everyone's stories are really comforting to me!

I'm 23, they/them, faab and I say I'm genderfluid, but it mostly hovers around agender. Gender dysphoria is something that has been hitting me since... before I was 10, at least. But due to the ambiguous, (fluid!) nature of it, when I learned that people could be transsexual, I didn't think it applied to me. I thought I was just a weird pervert for most of middle/high school, until I found the word genderfluid a year into college, about 4 years ago.
 
In the future, I plan to go on testosterone if I can manage to get over my social anxiety long enough to find doctors that will help me. Mostly, I want bottom surgery, since that's what gives me the most dysphoria. I also have a very loving boyfriend who was with me when I discovered the word and supports my plans to transition!

Besides my gender stuff, I'm also Buddhist and have a bachelors in illustration, which I'm not using at the moment. I watch a lot of cartoons.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: genderirrelevant on January 04, 2015, 09:05:28 pm
Hi All,

My name is Jamie, I am a newly out agender, although I can trace being agender back to my childhood.

I am looking for information on transitioning FtN.
Hey, Jamie!

Glad to see you found your way over here from FB. You're my warm fuzzy for the day because I feel like I actually helped someone. Enjoy exploring.

J.D.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on January 05, 2015, 09:09:47 pm
Hello, I'm Casey. I'm been reading through the forums here every once in a while for a few years, I think, but I didn't join until now. Everyone's stories are really comforting to me!

I'm 23, they/them, faab and I say I'm genderfluid, but it mostly hovers around agender. Gender dysphoria is something that has been hitting me since... before I was 10, at least. But due to the ambiguous, (fluid!) nature of it, when I learned that people could be transsexual, I didn't think it applied to me. I thought I was just a weird pervert for most of middle/high school, until I found the word genderfluid a year into college, about 4 years ago.
 
In the future, I plan to go on testosterone if I can manage to get over my social anxiety long enough to find doctors that will help me. Mostly, I want bottom surgery, since that's what gives me the most dysphoria. I also have a very loving boyfriend who was with me when I discovered the word and supports my plans to transition!

Besides my gender stuff, I'm also Buddhist and have a bachelors in illustration, which I'm not using at the moment. I watch a lot of cartoons.

Hello Casey and welcome to Susan's Place.  Thousands of members and millions of internet hits= a lot of interesting people and connections.  You note gender dysphoria since age 10 and that sounds very familiar.  Gender fluid works to describe many of us here too.  You must be a very creative sort and we need alternative thinking more days than not;-)    Hope you find some interesting connections here.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: PigFiddle on January 13, 2015, 08:15:21 pm
Hello! I'm new here and have only just really begun to seriously question my gender a few months ago. Pretty sure that I'm non-binary, don't feel strongly male, don't feel strongly female, more like certain aspects of me are softer (feminine-ish) and other aspects are rougher. (masculine-ish) What exactly my gender is I have no idea. I don't think it's both, and it doesn't seem to fluctuate much so it isn't fluid. Maybe neither? Completely lost on where to start, so here I am! Advice is appreciated!

A bit about me I guess. Born female, trying to get an art degree while raising four mischievous rats, and exploring crochet. (and a bit of buddhism here and there)

Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on January 14, 2015, 01:20:58 pm
Hi PF and welcome to Susan's Place.  You must really be busy with "four on the floor"  ;)  Gender non conforming folks describe a wealth of diversity that fills a wonderful rainbow spectrum.  So much of our journey is unique while we recognize some familiar challenges along the way.  The rigid conformity of a typical childhood gets the heave ho as more people are willing to search within themselves for what is the essence of our intrinsic identity.  Biology is definitely not our destiny and the simple labels of male, female, masculine and feminine inadequate in understanding our genuine selves.

Exploration is completely valid while the depth of our inquiry is seemly determined by the strength of dysphoria or interest.  The classical formula wherein I knew I was a _____ all my life doesn't work for everyone.  Many times more people cruise these pages than become members so we can safely assume that there is tremendous interest in non stereotypical people.  Again how far we proceed is so individual.  Some of us feel compelled and unable to even consider a path other than transition.  Others may dip their toes in the water and find enough info to reinforce the closeted life, find a comfortable plateau or inspiration for their own declaration and coming out party.  It sometimes feels like we have little in common beyond our trans interests.  Sexual orientation is a separate consideration and may reflect any part of the LGBTQIA community.   For those with a need to know themselves better, web sites  like  this,  books and friends can really help.  For more targeted assistance a gender therapist is invaluable for addressing some essential questions and for actually entering into the medical world of HRT, surgery etc.  They can function as gatekeepers in a way and some of us with less binary inclinations may soft pedal the less classical nature of our identity.  I hope and believe that is changing as more people recognize and accept that we non binary people are just as valid and real and in need of assistance too.  Good luck to you, I hope your meditations help you find that peace and some answers and please stay the course with your art.  HRT and ART save lives ;D
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: eve1974 on January 28, 2015, 04:45:48 pm
hi everyone. I'm just trying to find my place. I have always felt different than everyone else. I didn't know there was such a thing as non-binary.

I am married and have a son.
did boy things as a child as well as played "girl" games too.
I have gynocomastia and am having an orchiectomy. and have started taking herbals to grow out my breasts. when I have my surgery to remove my burden I plan to take estrogen. just trying to get mind and body inline.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on January 28, 2015, 06:18:11 pm
Hello Eve, i think you can find a good right place here for acceptance and safe exploration.  The reality of non binary has been around for a long time but not as well known.  The magic, star power and headlines of a transitioning celebrity going from dude to model gorgeous woman does not even come close to many of our personal stories.  Being married and having a son adds further depth to your journey.  For many of us finding that right alignment of body and mind is both an opportunity and challenge.  The very heartfelt stories and experiences of our brothers and sisters gives this place a sense of community.

I'm glad you found us and hope to see you around.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: eve1974 on January 28, 2015, 06:50:19 pm
Hello Eve, i think you can find a good right place here for acceptance and safe exploration.  The reality of non binary has been around for a long time but not as well known.  The magic, star power and headlines of a transitioning celebrity going from dude to model gorgeous woman does not even come close to many of our personal stories.  Being married and having a son adds further depth to your journey.  For many of us finding that right alignment of body and mind is both an opportunity and challenge.  The very heartfelt stories and experiences of our brothers and sisters gives this place a sense of community.

I'm glad you found us and hope to see you around.


thanx Tessa. i'm not sure where I fit in this group. trying to talk with everyone if I can. I want to be a good role model for my son, but still be true to myself. I have always felt closer to women. more girl friends than guy friends. underdressed for many years.
since getting gynocomastia after messing with the wrong meds years ago, I have adopted to wearing bras virtually all the time. (I wear a tshirt overtop so as not to confuse my son, he's 3yrs old)
my family knows I have breasts, they know I am having an orchi. I am just looking for ME. I hope to see ME soon.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: JulieBlair on January 29, 2015, 12:31:18 pm

thanx Tessa. i'm not sure where I fit in this group. trying to talk with everyone if I can. I want to be a good role model for my son, but still be true to myself. I have always felt closer to women. more girl friends than guy friends. underdressed for many years.
since getting gynocomastia after messing with the wrong meds years ago, I have adopted to wearing bras virtually all the time. (I wear a tshirt overtop so as not to confuse my son, he's 3yrs old)
my family knows I have breasts, they know I am having an orchi. I am just looking for ME. I hope to see ME soon.

The search for self is the goal of all pilgrimages.  This is no less a journey than any other, and is often mind boggling difficult and wonderful at the same time.  It really doesn't matter where on the gender identity spectrum you fit now, nor where you eventually land, to seek an authentic way to live is both the journey and the destination.  Welcome!

Julie
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: ERROR: gender undefined; on February 15, 2015, 10:37:44 pm
[opening door slowly, peaking in]

Hello... I'm EB. I found this forum several years ago and loved reading everyone's posts but I was too scared to join in... My therapist suggested I get involved with the LGBT community to feel less excluded day-to-day in my particular area of the planet. I'm androgyne / non-binary. When I was about 3 or 4 I asked my parents when I would turn into a boy and they said that wouldn't happen - so I cried. After that I would swing to super feminine (as I absorbed it from tv), and masculine of center. Things got complicated when I was abused pre-teen and then bullied by that person for years afterward. So, I've had some questions about where and what my identity is separate from the hate that was forced on me.

Things only recently got better after I met my mate and I told my family about pretty much everything and started therapy for a lot of issues. Meds are the bomb. haha  I'm doing a lot better now and my mate says he's ok with me having top surgery someday. Hopefully, that will happen. It inspires me with confidence to know there are others out there who are like me: not in any box in particular but happy and wanting a partial transition to androgynous. Sometimes I wonder if I should be "extreme" in some direction, so I try.... but then I always come back to myself. Learning that that's a thing and not just "nothing".

Anyway, I'm sorry for the long post - just wanted to say thank you all for being a part of this forum. I've learned a lot by reading about non-binarianism (?) and how it's all ok. :)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: helen2010 on February 17, 2015, 04:08:36 am
Welcome EB

The non binary journey is in many ways a 'road less traveled'.  But it is a journey that is uniquely yours.  A course that you plot and a path that you author is in many ways far more compelling and authentic than one which is bestowed by birth.  Once I realised that being non binary gave me the opportunity to define and to express myself then it opened a whole world of possibility and growth.

Like you, once I understood myself to be trans I assumed that I was a binary TS (in my case mtf ).... finding out that I wasn't and that my identity was mine to define and to test was a revelation.  Always tempted to push the boundaries until I find discomfort and return to a better place.

Your mate sounds great and I wish you well.  Lots of folk here with great insight, support and friendship. It's great to have you join.

Safe travels

Aisla
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: helen2010 on February 17, 2015, 04:13:09 am

thanx Tessa. i'm not sure where I fit in this group. trying to talk with everyone if I can. I want to be a good role model for my son, but still be true to myself. I have always felt closer to women. more girl friends than guy friends. underdressed for many years.
since getting gynocomastia after messing with the wrong meds years ago, I have adopted to wearing bras virtually all the time. (I wear a tshirt overtop so as not to confuse my son, he's 3yrs old)
my family knows I have breasts, they know I am having an orchi. I am just looking for ME. I hope to see ME soon.

Eve

The journey really is about finding 'me', ie your unique and authentic self.  It may change or it may be fixed but it is the trans experience and I wish you well on your journey.  Over time the joy of finding, understanding and expressing your authentic self is well worth the occasional confused glance.

Safe travels

Aisla
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on February 17, 2015, 06:13:12 am
[opening door slowly, peaking in]

Hi EB :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here's a few quick links to help you along

Please be sure to review


Hugs from a fellow NB.

Suzi
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: adrian on February 17, 2015, 06:44:19 am
Hey EB,

I'm glad you joined! I posted a quote a few days back which basically said "everything is a spectrum" -- transition is a spectrum too. It's composed of many small steps. And while many of us used to think transition was something happening between two binary poles --  well, it's not! :D There is this vast field in front of you with many different poles or nodes and you can trace out a journey between them that's individual to you.

I personally am ftm and would like to transition that-a-way, but even then I find it reassuring that masculinity too is a spectrum and that I have my individual journey ahead of me.

We have a top surgery board in the ftm section by the way, just in case you need some info and support in that department :).

Oh, do you have pronoun preferences? (tapatalk doesn't show signatures, so sorry if I missed anything!)

[opening door slowly, peaking in]

Hello... I'm EB. I found this forum several years ago and loved reading everyone's posts but I was too scared to join in... My therapist suggested I get involved with the LGBT community to feel less excluded day-to-day in my particular area of the planet. I'm androgyne / non-binary. When I was about 3 or 4 I asked my parents when I would turn into a boy and they said that wouldn't happen - so I cried. After that I would swing to super feminine (as I absorbed it from tv), and masculine of center. Things got complicated when I was abused pre-teen and then bullied by that person for years afterward. So, I've had some questions about where and what my identity is separate from the hate that was forced on me.

Things only recently got better after I met my mate and I told my family about pretty much everything and started therapy for a lot of issues. Meds are the bomb. haha  I'm doing a lot better now and my mate says he's ok with me having top surgery someday. Hopefully, that will happen. It inspires me with confidence to know there are others out there who are like me: not in any box in particular but happy and wanting a partial transition to androgynous. Sometimes I wonder if I should be "extreme" in some direction, so I try.... but then I always come back to myself. Learning that that's a thing and not just "nothing".

Anyway, I'm sorry for the long post - just wanted to say thank you all for being a part of this forum. I've learned a lot by reading about non-binarianism (?) and how it's all ok. :)

Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: melon_lord on February 22, 2015, 04:19:06 am
Hello there,

My name is Del and I'm a gender non-conforming/agender trans person. I used to post on Susan's a lot in high school (this is actually the place that helped me figure out I was trans & I would be pretty active on here when I went on testosterone temporarily a few years back), and have recently lost connection to a lot of local community support places because of work/school/caring for my partner taking up most of my time and also because I was staff at the only LGBT center in my hometown for several years (way too uncomfortable to seek support at a place I was getting paid to support clients at...also a much longer/complicated story). Anyhow, I am looking forward to being able to chat with y'all when I have the downtime - even just reading people's stories is a huge relief to me during rough times & I am happy to reach out when I can. I am hoping I can process some things while I am here... I have been dealing with a lot of dysphoria lately and am trying to figure out the best way to navigate that while keeping in mind that I have to be conscious about my ongoing medical challenges and the spaces where it is not exactly safe for me to be out in. Struggles aside, I am actively pursuing my passion in animation and visual storytelling both inside/outside of school, and am trying to become fluent in ASL.

-Del
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on February 22, 2015, 05:06:46 am
Hello there,

My name is Del and I'm a gender non-conforming/agender trans person.

Welcome back, Del. Good to have you back here.  :icon_wave:

Here are some links to site policies and other helpful information:

Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: ERROR: gender undefined; on February 22, 2015, 11:38:36 pm
Thank you so much everyone for welcoming me in. I just had a particularly difficult time tonight with my local community and feeling alien from them... It's literally life-saving - I'm sure to others than myself, too - to have a community online. Thank you so much.

Pronouns are something I've thought about - in a perfect world, they/them/their would be cool. :) I recently read an article on how "you" used to be plural and "thee" was singular. Nytimes I think.

I'm really, really, really, truly grateful for this place... I can't express how much.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on February 23, 2015, 04:23:07 pm
Thank you so much everyone for welcoming me in. I just had a particularly difficult time tonight with my local community and feeling alien from them... It's literally life-saving - I'm sure to others than myself, too - to have a community online. Thank you so much.

Pronouns are something I've thought about - in a perfect world, they/them/their would be cool. :) I recently read an article on how "you" used to be plural and "thee" was singular. Nytimes I think.

I'm really, really, really, truly grateful for this place... I can't express how much.

Hey EB it is good to have you around.  Alien was a word I formerly used to describe myself when I concluded that nobody could possibly feel like this.  It is nice to be wrong sometimes lol. 
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: apoth29gamer on February 24, 2015, 12:33:39 pm
Hello everyone.  I’ve been lurking here for some time, and I figured that I’d finally step out into the light.  These boards have been hugely helpful in coming to terms with a few things, so before I launch into the “this is who I am” thing, I wanted to say thank you.  Thank you so very much.

/takes mental breath and jumps in.

I am a 41 year old active duty service member.  A medic, to be precise.  It’s only recently that I’ve finally been able to come to terms with who I am, and who I want to be.  I am MAAB with a definite desire to be more feminine.  At this stage right now, the term genderqueer applies rather well to me.  I’m bisexual as well, and have had wonderful relationships I’ll always treasure.   I know I want to express myself as more feminine than I can right now, and have begun to take small steps to at least presenting as more gender neutral. 

I’ve always known that something was “off” about me, but I was raised in a very conservative religious home and sent to private religious schools.  So, you can imagine how the one conversation I dared to have with someone about that ended up.  I buried it deep and hid it away, thinking that it would eventually go away. 

Transitioning fully is not something I can do right now.  I’ve built a nice military career, of which I am approaching the tail end.  50% of my base pay for the rest of my life is not something to throw away lightly.  On top of that, being outed as any kind of transgender is grounds for dismissal from service here in America.  I’ve managed to hide this for so long, but it’s true what they say:  it does get worse the older one gets. 

These boards have been a wonderful source of comfort for me.  Coupled with a couple of very discreet doctors, they’ve helped to make thing a little more bearable.  I’m looking forward to talking with you more in the future!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on February 24, 2015, 12:37:19 pm
Hi apoth29gamer. Welcome to Susan's.  :icon_wave:

Here are some links to site policies and other helpful information:


I hope you find lots of help and support here. You sound like you're in a similar place to where I was when I joined nearly 3 years ago.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: apoth29gamer on February 25, 2015, 10:29:04 am
Thank you for the warm welcome and the helpful links.  I think that I'm going to like it here...   :)

Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Devlyn on February 25, 2015, 10:57:08 am
Hello everyone.  I’ve been lurking here for some time, and I figured that I’d finally step out into the light.  These boards have been hugely helpful in coming to terms with a few things, so before I launch into the “this is who I am” thing, I wanted to say thank you.  Thank you so very much.

/takes mental breath and jumps in.

I am a 41 year old active duty service member.  A medic, to be precise.  It’s only recently that I’ve finally been able to come to terms with who I am, and who I want to be.  I am MAAB with a definite desire to be more feminine.  At this stage right now, the term genderqueer applies rather well to me.  I’m bisexual as well, and have had wonderful relationships I’ll always treasure.   I know I want to express myself as more feminine than I can right now, and have begun to take small steps to at least presenting as more gender neutral. 

I’ve always known that something was “off” about me, but I was raised in a very conservative religious home and sent to private religious schools.  So, you can imagine how the one conversation I dared to have with someone about that ended up.  I buried it deep and hid it away, thinking that it would eventually go away. 

Transitioning fully is not something I can do right now.  I’ve built a nice military career, of which I am approaching the tail end.  50% of my base pay for the rest of my life is not something to throw away lightly.  On top of that, being outed as any kind of transgender is grounds for dismissal from service here in America.  I’ve managed to hide this for so long, but it’s true what they say:  it does get worse the older one gets. 

These boards have been a wonderful source of comfort for me.  Coupled with a couple of very discreet doctors, they’ve helped to make thing a little more bearable.  I’m looking forward to talking with you more in the future!

Hi apoth29gamer, welcome to Susan's Place! I'm from Boston. Thank you for your service, why don't you muster in here:  Roll Call  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,96755.0.html) We have many veterans and active duty members here. I spent a summer mailing care packages to one of our members who was deployed in Basrah. See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Sisyphus on March 07, 2015, 05:37:15 pm
I'm not sure what I should be saying here for my introduction. I'm a new, new new newbie. I'm not really a lurker. I've run across Susan's place several times over the years but have never spent a lot of time in the forums. i'm tried of being non-binary and alone, so I thought I should try to reach out for community. And by alone, I don't mean without a partner, I mean without a place where I can feel safe discussing being non-binary. Eyes seemed to practically fall out of faces, even from people who love you the most, when I bring this up.

What other kind of information might be nice for me to put in an introduction (without compromising privacy of course).
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on March 08, 2015, 12:44:03 pm
I'm not sure what I should be saying here for my introduction. I'm a new, new new newbie. I'm not really a lurker. I've run across Susan's place several times over the years but have never spent a lot of time in the forums. i'm tried of being non-binary and alone, so I thought I should try to reach out for community. And by alone, I don't mean without a partner, I mean without a place where I can feel safe discussing being non-binary. Eyes seemed to practically fall out of faces, even from people who love you the most, when I bring this up.

What other kind of information might be nice for me to put in an introduction (without compromising privacy of course).

Welcome to Susan's dear Sisyphus.  I hope you are not tired of pushing that rock interminably up hill as the myth suggests :D  Names aside this a place you can be yourself and explore with us, your experiences and what all of that means to you.  Some folks really want a place to share very personal ideas and feelings, others seem more socially and politically oriented.  Whatever floats your boat will likely find a sympathetic or understanding ear here.   I found my personal journey was delayed for too long by feeling I did not fit the binary world.  While I knew I was not a man I was far less certain than some about who and what I was.  I am feeling much clearer about this being a path to finding myself.  We have some exceptional writers and contributors here that write pages of prose and allegory while others are succinct and to the point.  Your style is what you make it IMO.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Sisyphus on March 10, 2015, 06:42:53 pm
Thank you for the response. Its nice to call across a valley and hear a reply back. Hopefully I will find my style and groove soon. Its best if I don't wait to complete this task of getting the rock over the tip of the mountain; it feels like its taking forever to do and its been rolling back down the hill just when I think I've got it, for years.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on March 11, 2015, 11:33:37 am
Thank you for the response. Its nice to call across a valley and hear a reply back. Hopefully I will find my style and groove soon. Its best if I don't wait to complete this task of getting the rock over the tip of the mountain; it feels like its taking forever to do and its been rolling back down the hill just when I think I've got it, for years.

An apt comparison to the many times some of us have purged our clothes and tried to do the same with the truth about who we are.  I tried transitioning back in the 90's but found few resources especially in the counseling and  health arenas.  Eventually i took on a "damn the torpedoes" attitude and made a commitment to working this through rather than slipping back into the morass of my despair.  I am very impressed with so many young people who seem to know clearly what is wrong/right and are able to marshal the resources to make changes early in life.  I recently attended a diversity conference in Miami and a student group made panel presentation.  Again it was so refreshing to see how comfortable they were with discussions of race, ethnicity, orientation and identity without the need for labels.  Things are getting better IMO. :D :D :D
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Sisyphus on March 11, 2015, 12:37:37 pm
I too am impressed. My nibling at 13 is so much father along in a framework and discussion and community and have a place of acceptance and etc. etc. than I am even in my particular decade. I'm glad to see the progress.

I don't know if nibling is common usage since its something that we use, but we use it as the gender neutral for child of a sibling, ie, niece/nephew/nibling.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on March 11, 2015, 12:45:59 pm
I too am impressed. My nibling at 13 is so much father along in a framework and discussion and community and have a place of acceptance and etc. etc. than I am even in my particular decade. I'm glad to see the progress.

I don't know if nibling is common usage since its something that we use, but we use it as the gender neutral for child of a sibling, ie, niece/nephew/nibling.

Nibling, I love it, and thanks for the explanation.  One of my sisters struggled at first and then coined the term "brister" to describe our new relationship.  The nieces, nephews, and niblings in our huge family are admirably more out and proud than my generation of the Gi Joe generation. 
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: I_zack on March 24, 2015, 01:44:49 pm
I'm here because my therapist recommended it.  Seriously.

I'm in my early 50s, and am only now discovering my non-binariness.  (Is that a word.)  I have long believed everyone was on a spectrum, and that while most were very much on one end or the other, they were still on a spectrum.  I always viewed myself as way over on the straight cis guy end of the spectrum.  In the last six months, I have allowed myself, with the help of the awesome Alex Sabrina Morgan, to realize that I'm really not.  I've become far more aware of my own personal "femme" qualities, my wish to (sometime) have a female body or at least portions of a female body.  I've realized that if I fell for a MtF trans woman, while it would no doubt mess with my head some, it ultimately wouldn't matter because it is the person who counts, not the body parts.  Sure, I'm attracted to the female form and figure, but that's not what keeps me interested; it's the person.


I'm here because I'm scared, and feel very much alone, and want a community and support and encouragement.  I don't need dates; when I'm ready, I'll get those on my own in my own way, and I'm glad this is not a place for that.  A community; that's what I need.

OK; that was scary.


<Post modified Cindy>
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on March 28, 2015, 01:23:51 pm
Hi Zack,

Nice to have another fellow traveler on these pages.  Welcome again and I believe there are opportunities here for just what you seek.  Some of our friends here have created magical fantasy like "forests," long joking polemics, and of course endless essays of prose and pop culture too.  Safety is important to many of us and that includes being able to make mistakes and feel vulnerable while exploring identity and experience.  Creating community means sharing time and space together even it is sequential and from around the world.---what a great range of perspectives to get feed back from eh?

Good luck
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Roberta W on March 29, 2015, 08:35:18 pm
Dont feel alone!  Heavens in this forum there are many, many supportive people ... Like minded ... And we've all "been there" and are "still there".  With time just participating and sharing in this forum will build your confidence, and you'll find yourself amongst many friends.  Thanks for joining in. Roberto ... or Roberta if you prefer!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: kayliyth on March 31, 2015, 01:54:38 pm
Hello,

Some of you might recognize me from when I introduced myself as a supportive spouse to someone going through at MTF transition. Things have changed and this is kind of my story.

"You act so manly, are you sure you're not a man?" She, my fiancée, stated to me as she brushed a stray lock of hair out of my face. My pulse raced, my heart was pounding in my ears, and my mind was already trying to explain all my actions and justify everything quicker than I could speak. I was reeling. She pushed me to look towards FTM transitioning, hoping that I would be better with myself, happier.

I went to sleep crying, barely slept as I thought on it and texted my good friend.

In the morning she, my good friend, and I discussed it. Was I FTM and in denile? Was I just really butch? What did this all mean? Pages upon pages, minutes turned to hours, and I'm pretty sure google thinks I can't decide what gender I want to be. I just didn't 'fit' the mould quiet right. I didn't want to lose my woman parts, and it distressed me to think that I could have them gone...forever. What if I didn't like having a penis? I mean penises are awesome, you can urinate standing up, and then there's all the things you can do sexually. Plus part of me always wanted to know what it felt like to get a blow job (sorry NSFW?), but in the reality, when I closed my eyes and thought of myself 20, 40, 60 years down the road?

I was an old grey haired woman appearing woman. Though with masculine clothes. Sometimes with fancy womanly clothing. I love sparklies. I love clothing that I can get dirty in, when it doesn't matter if I get full of saw dust, and grass shavings, and whatever else. What the heck?

I wasn't convinced, I was convinced I was struggling in the middle. I was a tom boy, as a child I never wore dresses or skirts, my mother pleaded with me and there were a few occassions, but I loved pants OH SO MUCH. I also hated have a shirt on, especially in the summer cause it was hot and it simply wasn't fair that little Johnny down the street could run around in his swim shorts, why'd I have to a have a shirt on?!

I have always found it more fun and easier to be friend men. I love being 'one of the guys' I'm totally okay with them not looking at me in a sexual way and considering me just another of the dudes.  I love making women friends, I love being around women and speaking about hair and make up, doing nails, gossiping about what every little thing our partners said, and over analysing it.

My mtf friend helped me greatly. She asked how I felt right at that moment, what did I feel my gender was. There was a long pause, words in my head couldn't describe it, and finally sobbing I wailed "I FEEL LIKE NO GENDER, I FEEL LIKE A DITTO! (For those who don't know what a ditto is, its a pokemon that can turn into any other pokemon and basically is a shapeshifter)."

She paused,  and began to explain gender fluid to me. Suddenly the horrible confusion lifted. It fit so right. So often I feel neutral, gender as no real role in my day to day things. That cuppboard needs to be rescrewed on? Lets do that <poo>. I wanna paint my nails? What colour am I feeling? I don't wanna shave my legs and wanna be like chewbacca? Hell yes rock that European look!

As I became more aware of it I noticed a tendancy. If I was a pie chart...I'd say I spend a majority of the delicious pie, as androgynous gender has no true role, I'm human I'm me. For a precent I'd say 50% of the time I'm just nothing more than a human. My clothing isn't overtly feminine nor is it mascule. It just is a reflection of my personality.

[Link Removed]

That is how I feel right now. Will it change? Yeup. I bounce easily from one 'assigned' gender to the next. Sometimes I'm feeling so masculine that I get dysphoric when I look down and go 'oh right I have breasts...and a vagina." I get annoyed at them, I dont' feel like a woman dammit but I have that woman part!

Other times I'm feeling so feminine I'm happy to wear nice frilly and pretty tops, showing off my assets, make up and hair included. I feel pretty and nothing can bring me down! Those heels look killer on me and I know it yo!

And then I drift listless between being feminine yet masculine at the same time. Its even been noticed when I'm feeling more masculine my voice drops naturally, my stance changes, I sit different.

I'm 'coming' out in a sense.

I'm genderfluid, though I do hover around the tomboy/masculine female/feminine male area quiet a lot. Hormone therapy? I've given it thought. Though currently I'm more looking into a breast reduction (from a DD+ to a more manageable size, between B-C) and a hysterectomy. I notice when I'm on my period the dysphoria is unreal. I hate my body, because during that time of month, its hard to maintain the feeling of being male when my uterus is pissed off that I didn't get it all pregnant. I've hated it since I had the damn thing.

I know there are those out there that frown on the gender fluid. But I'm not bi gendered, I don't want to transition to one set of body just to be happier.

I'm posting this, with hopes there are others like me.

My pronouns I'm playing with is co (he/she), cos (his/her), coself (herself/himself) and my name? Who knows.

Thanks for listening.

Kay
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on April 01, 2015, 11:02:57 am
Change is the story of our life.  Thank you for sharing a sweet narrative snapshot of your journey together.  That you are both wiling to push the too typical boundaries of relationships and gender is a testament to diversity.  Sounds like fun to me!

"I was an old grey haired woman appearing woman. Though with masculine clothes. Sometimes with fancy womanly clothing. I love sparklies. I love clothing that I can get dirty in, when it doesn't matter if I get full of saw dust, and grass shavings, and whatever else. What the heck?" Quote: kayliyth

Yesterday was my birthday and I celebrated by walking in the woods, paddling our canoe upstream with my dog and just being free to be me..."an old grey haired woman with sparkles......."

Very cool pie and gender descriptors on that breakdown.



Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Lili-Fera on April 18, 2015, 04:02:31 pm
*** I set out to write a short introduction but it got longer than I intended even after leaving a few things out ***

Hi, I'm Lili and after lurking here for about a Month I think it's time to introduce myself.

First some basics, Dutch, ginger, nerd, a few months away from 40 and Bi-gender.

I've known my whole life I didn't really fit in the traditional male role but I also learned at a young age that this is thought off as weird. I got bullied for a lot of things, being extremely skinny (to put it crudely I looked like I had an eating disorder as a kid, nowadays my T-shirt size is XL because of my belly), ginger and being a bit neurotic  (I got diagnosed with Autism in my early thirties) I was the ideal bully victim and being bullied because I walked like a girl was just to much.

So when I was about 10 years old I decided to hide that part of me, I chanced the way I walked, stood and sat, when I hit puberty and I got facial hair I immediately grew a beard (in  20 years I shaved it of about 10 times, most times because I messed up trimming it), I got so deep in the closet that I hardly knew I was in there. But as hard as I tried to hide my feminine side to the world and to myself it kept slipping in.

But instead of admitting to myself that I have a non traditional gender-identity I twisted it into other things, my cross dressing tendencies for example turned into a fascination with kilts and I didn't like wearing panties because I find them comfy and calming, I convinced myself that it was a fetish. Because I never was able to come to terms with my gender-identity I've never been able to fully mature sexually, the last few years I started to wander if I was asexual and if so was I asexual because I'm asexual or because I was to neurotic for romantic relations.

Little over 4 weeks ago I was talking to one of my autism counselors when I blurted out that I feel 20 to 30 percent feminine, I honestly don't know why or how I decided to tell. All I remember is that when I started the sentence I wasn't sure if I would and should finish it (she later told that I actually stopped halfway trough and waited for about half a minute) but when I had said it I felt a strange combination of panic and relieve. I also realized that the closet I hid in was no longer there, it has imploded and that if I kept on hiding it it would be a conscious process.

The first week my brain went on overdrive. This was a combination of my autism and a desire to make up for lost time. I ordered some stuff on E-bay, looked up hair removal (not just general information but also comparing prices) and much more. I wanted to much and after sleepless nights, crying and a lot of stress in general I had a minor nervous breakdown combined with what should have been a minor cold and after spending about 24 hours in bed, to messed up to sleep to tired to be really awake I decided I needed help. I talked to my doctor and with her help I'm looking for specialist help to figure things out. I told the 2 woman who run the autism meet up I go to every week so they know why I might be a bit distracted and stressed out in the coming time. Luckily the people I told were very understanding and supportive and with a film festival to distract me and the moral support of my autism counselor I was able to tell my parent last Wednesday,  it went fantastic.

So at the moment I need to take my time and figure out what this all means to me, I'm much calmer and closer to myself than just a few weeks ago and although I know that I will encounter some hard times and scary moments I want to see whats next for me.

Love and thanks Lili Fera
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on April 18, 2015, 04:45:41 pm
Hello Lili-Fera and welcome to Susan's Place.  Thank you for sharing your experiences with us.  Many of us share your experience of knowing we are different at an early age and paid the price with bullying and then living in the closet of shame and denial.  Coming out is so sweet and so freeing!  When we share our once secret news we are often rewarded by having others share their vulnerable truths with us too.  We can be closer to people by being so open. 
I hid behind a beard for decades  and also have a nephew who is part of the autism spectrum and is also gender fluid/queer.  There is some research that suggests aspergers/autism folks may have greater transgender numbers but you are a unique individual and the labels don't always work for us in catching our complexity.

Glad to hear that you are feeling calm and taking your time and that is fantastic news that your parents and others are helping you build a circle of support.  What a great start coming out!  I hope and trust you will maintain that curiosity about whats next for you and believe it will be a better and brighter world for the true you.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Caduti Morte on April 18, 2015, 09:50:55 pm
Hi!
I was born Stacy Nicole but recently I've been thinking of asking people to call me Stacy Alexander (or just Alex).

I guess for some little details about me first: I am 23, AFAB, not sure if I'm suppose to be here, not sure if I am genderfluid or tri-gender or demiboy.

I honestly don't know what to say.
I was pretty much told my whole life that since I was born female that I could only be female. I was condition to think that way from a young age. My father always loved to tell me that "girls should act in such such a way". And later on, when i was around 10 or so, he started adding little things like "A boy won't like a girl who...". Stepping outside of what he considered normal for a girl usually ended in me being punished. An example of which would be when my grandma took me to get a haircut and I asked them to cut it so that it was just above my shoulders. It was still long in my opinion and they styled it in a girlish fashion (because you know, I was a girl physically). My dad flipped out when I got home and locked me in my room for two days for trying to be a boy.

That being said I always knew that I wasn't like most other girls. I was interested in some of the things they were; like dolls and tea parties, but I always had that sense that I never quite fit in. I'm not sure how to explain it except that no matter how apart of a group of girls I was I always felt like I was a stranger looking in. It was sort of a feeling that I was internally different. Yet, I could hang out with the boy and feel like I was one of the guys. I had always liked that, yet at the same time I was not physically like them and I still felt a little different internally. I guess these days I can identify that feeling as being genderless.

I get confused by my gender a lot. Some days I wake up feeling like I am a boy and I want nothing more than to be a boy. I have these days a lot. Sometimes I wake up and feel like I am a boy but that there is a small part of me that is something else all together. I call that something else female because I don't really know what else to call it. Though I prefer my boy days most of all I don't mind those boy-something else days either. Then I have days like I am having today, where I just feel like I am nothing. I feel like I have no gender and I do not like these days. They make question if I am trans. They make me question if I am just a confused girl. On days like today I feel like hate myself and that I am crazy. I hate my body on these days more than I usually do, and I hate that I just can't be happy with I got. The genderless days are what I had throughout high school.

I know it sounds crazy but it is the only way I know how to explain it. Six months ago I gave into what I was feeling after I dressed up like a boy for the first time in forever and found that I loved it. I felt more like me than I had in a long time. I thought at first I was FtM but that never really sat right. I did have body dysphoria. I hated my breast and had always imagined myself with a more masculine chest, as well as a more masculine body build. I do want top surgery, and hormones sounds very applying. I have to admit that even during my genderless days in highschool I would often feel like I was also a gay guy (not even sure if that is possible). Ever since I was little I have always wished and desired that I would wake up a boy. Though I never wanted a penis I was jealous that boys had one, wishing I could stand to pee as well, and as I got older I often would imagine myself having sex as a guy. I always knew that I would be happier as a guy, even if I had days where I didn't feel male.

A very confusing intro but I'm having one of those days where I am filled with doubt and confusion.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on April 19, 2015, 04:41:56 am
Welcome to Susan's, Alex. You definitely belong here. You'll find many people who are going through the same thing you are. Nothing you say sounds crazy. It all sounds like the sort of thing people here wrestle with (an work through).

I want to comment on something you wrote:

I guess for some little details about me first: I am 23, AFAB, not sure if I'm suppose to be here, not sure if I am genderfluid or tri-gender or demiboy.

You didn't ask for advice, so feel free to ignore my suggestion if it isn't right for you. But early in my exploration, I wasted a lot of mental energy trying to put a label on my particular brand of queerness. As I've progressed, I've found that was pretty much wasted effort. Gender defies labeling in many cases. Things got better when I instead concentrated on how I wanted to live and what changes I wanted to make in my life.

I hope this helps.

Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: adrian on April 19, 2015, 05:51:17 am
Hey Alex,

welcome to the community! You absolutely belong here! :)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on April 19, 2015, 12:25:37 pm
Hey Alex, I agree with Suzi and Adrian.  You belong here and I trust can find a place to explore and work thru ideas and issues with some support.  I really like the pie chart kayliyth made for themself as I am a visual learner and can get that we all have days were we still don't fit in with the dominant paradigms and stereotypes about gender and gender roles.

Welcome!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: topit on May 13, 2015, 05:20:11 pm
yoooo im jonah, a pre-everything trans girl, and I'm not really sure but i feel like i'm bigender with half of that being agender and the other half being femme. does that make me a demigirl?? who knows. i kind of stopped thinking about that totally, just like my romantic orientation. just threw it out the window. all i know is that i mostly ID as a trans girl but at the same time im a lil nonbinary. who knows???
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on May 22, 2015, 11:55:57 am
Hello Jonah and welcome to the Place for non binary folks to share.  Your "who knows?" seems like a good place to be exploring from while the labels can get close but ya, throw em out the window.  You are unique and the only one really qualified to be YOU.  Glad to have you on board and I hope we hear lots more from you.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Jaysinxdres on June 01, 2015, 04:02:15 pm
Hello all! I'm new to susans, I was born male but now at 30 i have began my gender pilgrimage.  Ever since I was young I remember having days or periods of time that I didn't feel right. I wanted to be a girl. I don't hate being male I just don't feel that I am some times. I guess in all im trying to find out where I fit and the others like me so that I don't feel so closed in and lost. The days of pushing it to the side because of other things are done. I want to be able to present as a woman on the days I need and male on the others. The need to do so had become more prevalent  as each day passes. But I'm here to meet all you wonderful people and hopefully help define myself in a way that I can explain to other people and epically my son. I need to be me and I can't let it go.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on June 02, 2015, 12:31:07 am
Hey Jaysin Welcome again to Susan's place and particularly the non binary part of the forums.  I thought most small towns in Minnesota were famous for hockey:-)  When I was growing up in St Paul, Cretin High (yes a for real name) was also supposedly a hockey giant.  But back then there were no gameboys or internet and skating in winter was THE outdoor activity.  That was forever ago when gay much less transgender or non binary terms were never heard.

That need to be your true self is getting around as a reasonable idea.  The persistence of gender, sometimes in contrast to our plumbing, is pretty amazing.  Part of the beauty of all this is the ability and opportunity if not the need to express ourselves out loud.  Of course most of us have started in some closet, or isolation, or with furtive steps, and that can be enough....for awhile.  How long?  How close do we want to get to our dreams?  I lived as an androgynous appearing person for decades.  I used to laugh when some guy would see my long blonde hair from behind and then see my lite beard and sort of do a minor freak face.  Well excuse me;-)

Having a son adds depth and dimensions to your transition beyond your own and IMO he will be transitioning too.  He may learn more than other kids about the wealth of diversity and creativity all around.  Simple truths for explanation seem best.  My experience was that our close family members often do have a sense of who we are without the labels.  My son seemed to clearly understand I was not like other men but still preferred to live with me rather than his bio mom.

You are in the best position to simply define yourself.  There are challenges to not being clearly binary in a culture that thrives on the differences and exploits them constantly.  The whole world of ID cards and more is a lie.  That plastic card isn't you or me.  We too often grow up being told there is only right and wrong, left or right and male or female.  Talk about a bunch of boxes!  Even in the beatnik era of 1950s conformity they called it being "square."

By all means don't let go and do hold on tight.  It is the best ride I know of.  Thanks for sharing
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: synesthetic on June 02, 2015, 01:29:28 am
I've been using these forums for months now but I only just discovered this thread, so some of you might have seen me around before! ^_^

hello, I'm Alex. I'm a teenager still trying to totally figure out my identity, but at the moment I'd say I'm most comfortable describing myself as a non-binary boy. I'm AFAB, and there's a reason that spells out "fab" :P I'd say I'm most comfortable with he/him pronouns, but they/them are fine as well.

some things about me... I love listening to and playing music. it's my passion. I'm still deep in the transgender closet and pre-everything, and I'm one of those boys who loves eyeliner maybe a bit too much. I definitely don't pass, but I sure as hell am destroying gender roles and stereotypes ;) I started properly exploring my gender identity a few years ago, and I haven't been able to turn back since. (I also definitely need to hang around the nonbinary part of these forums more.)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on June 02, 2015, 01:55:14 am
Hey Alex,

I have been meaning to ask but now I get what the King of Guyliner means.  LOL and perfect camouflage for ambushing gender roles and stereotypes.  Please keep that up as it really is helpful for people to see around the corners of their minds.  Whole worlds of feeling and being lie just beyond some folks vision and some temporary labels.

Yes there is something almost intoxicating about allowing ourselves some freedom to be fabulous.  Turns out anatomy is not destiny after all!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: synesthetic on June 02, 2015, 04:08:06 am
Hey Alex,

I have been meaning to ask but now I get what the King of Guyliner means.  LOL and perfect camouflage for ambushing gender roles and stereotypes.  Please keep that up as it really is helpful for people to see around the corners of their minds.  Whole worlds of feeling and being lie just beyond some folks vision and some temporary labels.

Yes there is something almost intoxicating about allowing ourselves some freedom to be fabulous.  Turns out anatomy is not destiny after all!
haha I smiled way too much reading this! I wasn't really sure if everyone would know what it meant to be honest, but it's definitely become my motto :P and yes as long as I'm here, I'm definitely going to keep doing that :)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: TasJ on June 04, 2015, 05:58:26 pm
So glad to find this place then I can see how other deal with what we are going through. I have had anxiety and lack of self-esteem till a couple of years ago when I went on a journey to find out who I really am. I was born male and had a late puberty but always been emotional for a boy and not particularly well developed. In my forties I find out I am bisexual and eventually got comfortable with that but still found it hard to relate to people and LGBT support just seemed to amplify it but a friend/mentor there said "Just be who you are, the rest will work itself out". I think it has as now I feel feminine moments and emotions and sometime burst into tears over nothing. I have strong urges to dress feminine, then I did some tests online, several different ones all reputable and over many months. It turns out I am bigendered/androgynous. I have been single for the last few years and I am worried about starting a relationship with someone until they know all this or I at least understand better who I am.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on June 04, 2015, 06:33:59 pm
Welcome to Susan's TasJ,

Some great personal accounts in these pages that may help shed light on your journey.  I want to respect everyone's self definition but do suggest caution about just how reputable some on line tests are.  The concept and term autogynephilic is hotly debated or dismissed by some.  It seems labels are often insufficient to explain who we are and much personal exploration and discussion goes on here.  Join in by checking the forums and reading more and writing a reply

A moderator will likely notice your post and give you some "Terms of Service" to review.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: V M on June 04, 2015, 08:52:21 pm
Hi TasJ  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here's a few quick links to help you along

Please be sure to review

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)

Hugs

V M
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Swayallday on June 15, 2015, 07:24:54 pm
I suppose i'm still figuring things out.

I chose the word gynandrous because it's a synonym to androgynous but gyn- meaning fem, in Latin. I suppose I lean more towards (S)he. If I were to scale gender from (male) 0 - 100 (female) i'd pick 80. Whether the other 20 percent is male or rather the genitalia, hormones, my cultural upbringing, the societal pressure, the all-male friend circles I can't really tell you, I don't know.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on June 15, 2015, 08:16:08 pm
Figuring things out is a major part of why many of us are here, beyond the simple labels.  So welcome to the less rigidly defined part of the Place.

Yes, there any number of formative processes from multiple sources that help us find our place on a spectrum or even outside of any known boxes. 

Good luck exploring
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: anya or otherwise on June 18, 2015, 09:08:28 pm
hi I'm Anya/Alan.

I've been out to myself as bi-gender since Nov. '12. Since then it's been kind of a wild ride. I'm the parent of 3 year old twins, which has consumed a lot of energy.  ;) I've been out to my wife since May '13 and it's been a struggle. Some weeks are better than others.

I'm glad to be here!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on June 19, 2015, 05:45:37 am
hi I'm Anya/Alan.

I've been out to myself as bi-gender since Nov. '12. Since then it's been kind of a wild ride. I'm the parent of 3 year old twins, which has consumed a lot of energy.  ;) I've been out to my wife since May '13 and it's been a struggle. Some weeks are better than others.

I'm glad to be here!

Hi Anya/Alan. Welcome to Susan's.  :icon_wave:

Here are some links to site policies and other helpful information:


Sorry to hear it's been difficult on you. What have the issues been?
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on June 19, 2015, 10:56:41 am
hi I'm Anya/Alan.

I've been out to myself as bi-gender since Nov. '12. Since then it's been kind of a wild ride. I'm the parent of 3 year old twins, which has consumed a lot of energy.  ;) I've been out to my wife since May '13 and it's been a struggle. Some weeks are better than others.

I'm glad to be here!

Hey Anya/Alan welcome to Susan's Place.  There are a number of people here who also refer to themselves as bigender with their own personal mix and makeup for expression.  Being a parent really does add complexity and depth to your ride.  A most formative age for all of you??  Congratulations for a major disclosure to your wife.  We would be rich if we got a nickel for every reference to the roller coaster like highs and lows we know.  Best of luck exploring and sharing.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: April41 on July 04, 2015, 08:21:20 am
Hello everyone, my name is April/Travis and I too am bigender. I've been living... "full time" as bigender since February this year. I live some days as a woman, other days as a man. I'm married with a three year old daughter and am out to everyone except my in-laws. This includes work, friends, family. I've known I was bigender for about a year and it's been the greatest realization of my life. I'm glad to be here and looking forward to hopefully making new friends.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on July 04, 2015, 12:18:44 pm
Welcome to the non binary side of Susan's April/Travis.  I am sure many people here would like to know more about how you feel and how your full time experience is working out.  It is sweet to have options and new friends.  Sharing here is a safe and typically non judgmental opportunity. 

How did you arrive at that realization for yourself?
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: April41 on July 04, 2015, 03:40:48 pm
Well as I made an attempt to live more feminine I got an overwhelming feeling of being false. Like, going out as a girl I seemed try too hard and lose a piece of myself. Once I dialed it back and allow myself to be completely who I am and embracing the masculinity that I enjoyed I realized that I couldn't live full time as a male or female, I needed to be able to do both.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on July 05, 2015, 12:03:49 pm
Well as I made an attempt to live more feminine I got an overwhelming feeling of being false. Like, going out as a girl I seemed try too hard and lose a piece of myself. Once I dialed it back and allow myself to be completely who I am and embracing the masculinity that I enjoyed I realized that I couldn't live full time as a male or female, I needed to be able to do both.

I think such a transition could be at once more challenging, with fewer roadmaps and mentors, and yet more true to yourself?  It seems many of us try too hard when we are first coming out and I had the sense of wanting to avoid jumping from one stereotypical box to another.  I felt a lot like a teenager trying on styles, clothes and a new way to be myself.  I generally find non binary expression more intriguing and creative. Good for you.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: cjsnow1 on July 06, 2015, 03:41:57 pm
Namaste,

My name is Caine/Josie (M/F); I've been questioning my gender since High school (c. 2011 [graduated in 2012]) and identify as Non-binary while attempting a rational outlook on whether or not I want to begin HRT. I've been looking at the pros & cons and currently do not have any long-term plans though a Low-dose treatment sounds like a good idea a

As far as short-term plans I'm moving abodes at the end of the month so once I get situated and finished with a job-hunt, I'm going to get a blood test (Hormone level) as I've been curious as to whether or not that has to do with the thoughts I've been having as of late (regarding my doubts and what-not.)

Anyways...

I'll look forward to posting here more in the future.

Sincerely,
Caine/Josie
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on July 06, 2015, 04:39:45 pm
Namaste,

My name is Caine/Josie (M/F); I've been questioning my gender since High school (c. 2011 [graduated in 2012]) and identify as Non-binary while attempting a rational outlook on whether or not I want to begin HRT. I've been looking at the pros & cons and currently do not have any long-term plans though a Low-dose treatment sounds like a good idea a

As far as short-term plans I'm moving abodes at the end of the month so once I get situated and finished with a job-hunt, I'm going to get a blood test (Hormone level) as I've been curious as to whether or not that has to do with the thoughts I've been having as of late (regarding my doubts and what-not.)

Anyways...

I'll look forward to posting here more in the future.

Sincerely,
Caine/Josie

Hi Caine/Josie. Welcome to Susan's.  :icon_wave:

Here are some links to site policies and other helpful information:



Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: MxJuly1991 on July 06, 2015, 08:07:01 pm
Why is considered a sticky topic, I wonder... Is because the very essence of non-binary goes beyond what most cis-gender people know about the 2 primary genders (man/woman)?

At any rate, my birth name- the name the world knows me as- is Jamie. I guess hence my username I go by Mx. July on here also. Everyone can call me by either name. I'm just happy, blessed I guess, my parents, male or female, would've named me with the same unisex name. The gender label I've been using for a few years now, really because it's one of the first I came across that really described my gender identity the best, is genderqueer. But I've started wondering if maybe I should reexamine that label. Like maybe instead I'm agender, or pangender, or bigender- one is as good as the next.
All I know is my gender identity is most definitely not male nor is female. If I'm a combination of male & female, or a member of the third gender or third sex I've come across. Except for my brain, I'm physically & biologically utterly female (or "flea-male" as I sometimes jokingly say).

Beyond gender, I am a 23 year old coffee-drinking, vegetarian, fantastically creative, pansexual-demisexual working in the veterinary field. With a love of all things horror, & utterly clueless why I've always disliked the taste of cinnamon roles.

I've been actively questioning my gender since about 2007, or maybe 2008. But when I was little, as far as I know, I willingly & even chose to wear dresses all the time when I was little; & I have no memory if I actively expressed persistent dislike with my physical self (I mean, other than dislike with being overweight).

Currently, I'm trying to narrow down a list of possible names in order to eventually change my name to something more gender neutral. Along with looking for a mental health counselor that specializes in transgender issues.

Oh, & backstory behind my username: it's kind of a moniker of like "Miss USA" or "Miss [insert state name here]". I came across "Mx" yesterday as an apparent gender neutral form of "Mr" or "Mrs". And basically, the July & 1991 is a reference to my birth date. So... I'm Mr/Miss July of 1991 (my full "title").

This is me in a nutshell.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: gement on July 09, 2015, 11:16:43 pm
Hello, I'm Gement, and I've had my eye on this place for a looooooong time. Since 1999, maybe?

I'm currently 36, genderqueer, they/them/their pronouns, and Mx. Gement. About the only gendered noun I'm really comfortable with is prince, so if you want a royal honorific for me, I hope that's helpful.

It's been a long slow shift from presenting as geek girl to switching on "guy mode" for specific periods of time to presenting as whatever the hell I am now. I don't expect that shift is over. I make barbers cut my hair like Captain America.

But not like Captain America would cut hair, because I think Steve Rogers would suck at barbering.

My personal internal word for my gender is Birdplane* because it just seems like I have too much gender going on at any one time. No matter how I'm presenting, there's another gender knocking in the back of my brain, yelling, "Hey, don't forget I'm a _____ too!"; it's only gotten louder with age.

I've finally signed up for the forums because some rapidly dividing cells in my left mammary have suddenly made top surgery a non-optional part of my future! So I'll be over in the Transsexual FtM forum looking for medical information, but I hope some nonbinary folks will join me there to discuss some of the more... GQ-specific aspects of my situation.

*Birdplane is a song by Axis of Awesome parodying the angsty 90s song Superman: "I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane... I'M A BIRDPLANE!"

Birdplane video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vx6hmUv06tg)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on July 14, 2015, 02:28:58 pm
Why is considered a sticky topic, I wonder... Is because the very essence of non-binary goes beyond what most cis-gender people know about the 2 primary genders (man/woman)?

At any rate, my birth name- the name the world knows me as- is Jamie. I guess hence my username I go by Mx. July on here also. Everyone can call me by either name. I'm just happy, blessed I guess, my parents, male or female, would've named me with the same unisex name. The gender label I've been using for a few years now, really because it's one of the first I came across that really described my gender identity the best, is genderqueer. But I've started wondering if maybe I should reexamine that label. Like maybe instead I'm agender, or pangender, or bigender- one is as good as the next.
All I know is my gender identity is most definitely not male nor is female. If I'm a combination of male & female, or a member of the third gender or third sex I've come across. Except for my brain, I'm physically & biologically utterly female (or "flea-male" as I sometimes jokingly say).

Beyond gender, I am a 23 year old coffee-drinking, vegetarian, fantastically creative, pansexual-demisexual working in the veterinary field. With a love of all things horror, & utterly clueless why I've always disliked the taste of cinnamon roles.

I've been actively questioning my gender since about 2007, or maybe 2008. But when I was little, as far as I know, I willingly & even chose to wear dresses all the time when I was little; & I have no memory if I actively expressed persistent dislike with my physical self (I mean, other than dislike with being overweight).

Currently, I'm trying to narrow down a list of possible names in order to eventually change my name to something more gender neutral. Along with looking for a mental health counselor that specializes in transgender issues.

Oh, & backstory behind my username: it's kind of a moniker of like "Miss USA" or "Miss [insert state name here]". I came across "Mx" yesterday as an apparent gender neutral form of "Mr" or "Mrs". And basically, the July & 1991 is a reference to my birth date. So... I'm Mr/Miss July of 1991 (my full "title").

This is me in a nutshell.

Welcome to the non binary area and happy birthday MxJuly.  We can trust your creativity to be well used and inspired.  Best of luck finding a therapist and a new name.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on July 14, 2015, 02:32:42 pm
Hello, I'm Gement, and I've had my eye on this place for a looooooong time. Since 1999, maybe?

I'm currently 36, genderqueer, they/them/their pronouns, and Mx. Gement. About the only gendered noun I'm really comfortable with is prince, so if you want a royal honorific for me, I hope that's helpful.

It's been a long slow shift from presenting as geek girl to switching on "guy mode" for specific periods of time to presenting as whatever the hell I am now. I don't expect that shift is over. I make barbers cut my hair like Captain America.

But not like Captain America would cut hair, because I think Steve Rogers would suck at barbering.

My personal internal word for my gender is Birdplane* because it just seems like I have too much gender going on at any one time. No matter how I'm presenting, there's another gender knocking in the back of my brain, yelling, "Hey, don't forget I'm a _____ too!"; it's only gotten louder with age.

I've finally signed up for the forums because some rapidly dividing cells in my left mammary have suddenly made top surgery a non-optional part of my future! So I'll be over in the Transsexual FtM forum looking for medical information, but I hope some nonbinary folks will join me there to discuss some of the more... GQ-specific aspects of my situation.

*Birdplane is a song by Axis of Awesome parodying the angsty 90s song Superman: "I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane... I'M A BIRDPLANE!"

Birdplane video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vx6hmUv06tg)

Since 1999?  You're really a long time lurker! ;D  Wishing you the best exploration and recovery Gement.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: BirlPower on July 19, 2015, 10:52:31 am
Hi All,

This is my first post and I'd like to start by thanking all you wonderful people for making this place what it is. I've been lurking here for some months now (around 6 I think) and even just reading your stories has changed my life for the better.

I started cross-dressing five years or so ago. I thought it was just sexual perversion at first. It turned me on. I soon discovered that I didn't want to take the clothes off. The first time I put a skirt on over tights felt like "coming home". It was very confusing at the time because I do not identify as female. My ony experience with trans* anything was some TV documentaries about people fully transitioning and I knew that wasn't me. I like my male characteristics, body, strength, the whole male privelidge thing and I have no dysporia other than clothing. Over time I wanted to wear the clothes all the time. I feel sexy in womens clothes but it just feels really comfortable now rather than sexual. I fully understand now what cis girls mean when they talk about dressing nicely for themselves, rather than for atracting others. I feel like that.

By lurking here I learned about non-binary identity and as soon as I read about that it switched a light on for me. I'm still learning about myself but I'm leaning towards genderqueer though I would prefer to present female simply because it is easier. I'm lazy and a coward and would prefer not to explain to everyone I meet what I am. I still exclusively present as male outside the house though I have been wearing tights and panties under my girls jeans and bodies under my shirts(some male, some female depending on what I'm doing) for some years now and it feels great.

I'd love to go out en femme but I'm too scared. My wife is trying to accept it but it really turns her off and I think she is very embarassed about other people finding out. She does come clothes shopping with me though and I can put things I want into her basket and she buys them on my behalf (see.. lazy coward haha). I'm finding this really easy now, I've even tried girl trousers on in a changing room and the staff didn't bat an eylid. I was fully male at the time. Bought most of my clothes from "a well known internet auction site". Once I figured out my size, that has worked really well for me. Bought some lemons but also some really beautiful things that I adore. It was all really cheap so the bargains more than make up for the failures. The local charity shops are always grateful for the failures LOL.

The oddest thing with wifey is that I can dress extremely femme in leggings or girl trousers and she doesn't seem to mind at all. I even get some nice attention on occasion. Skirts and dresses though make her really uncomfortable. I could be disappointed in this but I feel grateful for her love and tolerance. We've been together over 30 years and I know she didn't sign up for this. I feel really lucky that she hasn't run a mile. I think there is a good chance we'll make it in the long run. Especially as I (currently, I've learned from here to keep an open mind about the future) have no desire to change my body. I love wearing silicon augments under the dresses to make me look proper femme but I also like to be able to switch back and be completely male. Wife is even more uncomfortable with the breasts  and hips though so I keep those for when she isn't around. It isn't a huge deal to me but it means a lot to her so it is easy for me to compromise on this.

That's enough about me for now. You are all such wonderful and special people and I feel privileged to have found you all. I'm reluctant to single individuals out as you are all so wonderful but I feel I must thank Cindy, Mariah2014 and Stephaniec for the work they do here. You guys pop up in almost every thread and are a support and inspiration to everyone. I'd also like to mention Jessie Ann and iKate for sharing their experiences. You are both such an inspiration to me and others. Finally I'd like to mention Amber roksamp and Beth Andrea. You showed me it doesn't have to be all or nothing. We can find the place on the spectrum that is right for us and the world can "like it or lump it".

Sorry if I didn't mention you. There are too many exceptional and inspiring people here to mention you all. I hope i get to say nice things to you all eventually as I participate in this lovely community.

I've lurked for ages and have read all the introductory stuff. I hope in time I can repay the help i've had from you by supporting and encouraging others.

Thank you all for being here.

Can't decide on a name. Hoping to post pictures soon. Maybe some of you can help me with suggestions then?

Love B
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on July 20, 2015, 11:44:20 am
Welcome to Susan's Place BirlPower.   That's a very nice introduction with personal sharing and recognition.  A non binary identity has "switched a light on" for many of us and is a welcome place to call home.  There are probably a greater number of crossdressers than any other category under the trans umbrella.  We know many guys who remain comfortable with a lifetime of CDing while working and being male most of the time.  Some folks are able to find a plateau that makes sense in their life.

We look forward to hearing and seeing more from you by any name.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: BirlPower on July 20, 2015, 03:43:06 pm
Thanks for the kind words Tessa, I have been really touched and inspired by how open so many of you are. It made a difference to me and I now would like to give something back. You can't do that if you keep all the good bits to yourself. ;D

I'd like to clarify how Susan's has helped me. When I first found this haven of reason and sanity, I often felt like a pervy freak. Reading your stories I soon realised that I was as normal and valid as anyone else. I didn't need to justify myself. I could just be me and it was OK. This gave me the courage to come out to my daughters. Two of the proudest moments of my life. The first was an "accident". She was off school with flu. Sleeping upstairs. She walked in on me fully dressed. I'd forgotten she was home. She didn't skip a beat. No reaction at all. "The internet isn't working dad." and that was it. I was out. The second I said "Would it freak you out if you saw me around the house in a dress or skirt?" She replied "Why would it? It is none of my business. As long as you're happy dad."
I was dreading the school holidays before but it has been great. They are my staunchest allies. They bullied my wife into letting me dress more freely. I was astonished, touched and proud of them when my wife told me about this. They are twins. Almost 15. They assure me no-one they know at school would care in the slightest. They give me hope that future generations will not only tolerate us but just see us as part of the human spectrum and just people. It will probably be with them if/when I finally venture out into the world as me.

So in real concrete ways my life is much better and happier since finding you all. Thank you all for being here.

Love B
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on July 20, 2015, 03:55:00 pm
Hey B you must be doing some great parenting for your twin girls to support and care for you so well.  Congratulations for that significant coming out event(s).  Nice to picture you hand in hand, flanked by family and walking tall.

Yes, I too had that sense of being a pervy freak or at least from another planet since no one I knew felt like I did way back then.  Only wish the internet and places like this had existed earlier in our lives;-)

Like You I am hopeful about our future as my daughter and granddaughters are part of that more aware and accepting generation.

Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: BirlPower on July 20, 2015, 06:33:31 pm
Hey Tessa, The future's so bright, I might need to borrow your shades. :D
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Oliver A on July 22, 2015, 07:54:52 am
Hello! I'm Oli, and I found this place about a week ago, while looking for any forums where I could learn more about androgyny. I was born in a female body, but I'm aiming towards an intermediate figure (50% male, 50% female). My story isn't that long or complicated because I discovered androgyny very early in life and also because I'm in the very first steps of transition (I'm 18).
 
Since I was a kid I never liked most part of those clothes/behaviours/roles associated with the feminine figure. In fact, I always felt like I had a connection with people who I would identify as "girls who dress like boys" and "boys who dress like girls". Later on, when I was introduced to the label "androgyny", I started picturing how my life would be if I were one of them, if I started introducing myself as an androgyne. But all of this was just in my imagination, because I'm very attached to my family in the worst ways I could possibly be. They choose the clothes I wear, my haircut, the way I talk, where should I study, work... everything. Until this year, when I decided that it was time to embrace my indentity and express it to the world.
Actually, is not as simple as I said. In fact, I'm still trying to convince myself that being who I am isn't dangerous, but I'm really scared that if anyone calls me Oli in front of my family, or if I cut my hair and stop wearing makeup, they'll stop liking me and approving the things I do. I wanna be succesful and free, but I also want them close to me.
All of that combines with my own conflicts. I keep refering to myself as "she" even in the places I present myself as Oliver (internet), and in places where I still use my birth name (rest of the world), I feel terrible because of the way people look at me when I associate myself with tipically masculine clothes/behaviours.

I think that's it! I apologize if I made any mistakes while writing this, english isn't my first language (I'm brazilian!). Feel free to tell me if I'm doing anything (or everything) wrong, I'll appreciate that.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on July 22, 2015, 01:07:57 pm
Hello! I'm Oli, and I found this place about a week ago, while looking for any forums where I could learn more about androgyny. I was born in a female body, but I'm aiming towards an intermediate figure (50% male, 50% female). My story isn't that long or complicated because I discovered androgyny very early in life and also because I'm in the very first steps of transition (I'm 18).
 

Welcome Oli, how fun to have another international friend.  You sound well prepared for exploring androgyny, asserting yourself and singing your own tune.  I found that living a more androgynous life was good for me but complicated for others to understand.  Lots of people just assumed I was gay and that was Ok for me too.  As a kid some of my early friends were tomboys and I wanted to be one too.

It is common here to recognize the challenges of being simply yourself in a world that seems to enshrine the hyper gender binary with HE Man dudes and princess models everywhere.  Many of us walk a fine line between family and self acceptance.  I trust you will find many people here who feel like you do. 
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Oliver A on July 22, 2015, 02:16:37 pm
Hey Tessa, thanks for everything. Your kind words made my day! In my case, I shouldn't really expect people to understand me, because all of this is too complicated for me as well.

I sometimes struggle because my personality is really feminine, so I can't pass even if I wear a completely masculine outfit. It also breaks me because it feels like this personality is not my real one. Have you ever felt like you're dressed with something and no matter how hard you try you can't take it off?
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on July 22, 2015, 02:40:47 pm
Hey Tessa, thanks for everything. Your kind words made my day! In my case, I shouldn't really expect people to understand me, because all of this is too complicated for me as well.

I sometimes struggle because my personality is really feminine, so I can't pass even if I wear a completely masculine outfit. It also breaks me because it feels like this personality is not my real one. Have you ever felt like you're dressed with something and no matter how hard you try you can't take it off?

Oh Yes!  That is why I try not to be upset if someone misgenders me.  It took me way too long to figure myself out and in the meantime I developed a personality that had a lot to do with coping rather than being assertive about who I am.  While I may wish my appearance fit perfectly I have transitioned to being much closer to my real self. 

You are smart to be working on this as a younger person who can take advantage of some people and practices that have been better established.  I hope you give your self a break and take heart in knowing the real you can shine thru!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Oliver A on July 22, 2015, 05:37:43 pm
I don't really know what to say... thank you for such good advice
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Scrawlix on July 25, 2015, 07:22:21 pm
'Ello!

I am 30 and married to a cishet man. I have just recently begun to identify as a bisexual who just learned about the term neutrois. I was beginning to identify as gender queer but that didn't seem quite the term to describe what I feel towards myself. I don't feel like a female. I don't feel like a male. I feel like ... I don't know- just not those things. (Does that make sense)

I talked to a childhood friend about it and she said that looking back, she could understand why I would feel that I am genderless because it was rare for me to have any classic gender traits. My husband knows about me questioning my gender and he supports my decisions, talking about in the vague future there even being a top surgery if that was what I wanted.

Anywhoodles. *doffs hat* Nice to meet you all!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Devlyn on July 25, 2015, 07:43:31 pm
'Ello!

I am 30 and married to a cishet man. I have just recently begun to identify as a bisexual who just learned about the term neutrois. I was beginning to identify as gender queer but that didn't seem quite the term to describe what I feel towards myself. I don't feel like a female. I don't feel like a male. I feel like ... I don't know- just not those things. (Does that make sense)

I talked to a childhood friend about it and she said that looking back, she could understand why I would feel that I am genderless because it was rare for me to have any classic gender traits. My husband knows about me questioning my gender and he supports my decisions, talking about in the vague future there even being a top surgery if that was what I wanted.

Anywhoodles. *doffs hat* Nice to meet you all!

Perfect sense, it's exactly what I say about myself. I'm definitely somewhere in between and happy about it.  :)  Welcome to Susan's Place, I'll be seeing you around!

Hugs, Devlyn

Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: mxwerewoof on August 09, 2015, 02:15:01 am
I hope I'm doing this right!

Hi I'm Jay, I identify as a transmasculine genderqueer person.  I'm dfab and am on HRT, that being testosterone.
I'm bad at intros but I wanted to make some cause honestly I don't have many nb friends at all... and it's lonely not being able to talk to people about something that is so big and influential in my life.

I have bad clinical depression as well so often I can get down about being trans. I also have bad social anxiety so it's tough for me to make friends. But I'd really like to!

I'm trying to work on my self acceptance and stuff, being more positive about myself and getting more self confidence.

I hope this will be a place where I can make some good friends and talk about nb issues that bug me too.

Oh ya just some last things about me, I love cats and cartoons, in fact I'm an animation student haha.

Thanks for reading!  :)

Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on August 09, 2015, 05:13:57 am
I hope I'm doing this right!

Hi I'm Jay, I identify as a transmasculine genderqueer person.  I'm dfab and am on HRT, that being testosterone.

Hi Jay. Welcome to Susan's.  :icon_wave:

Here are some links to site policies and other helpful information:


I've met a lot of friends here and people who have a lot in common with me. I hope it works the same for you.


Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: mxwerewoof on August 09, 2015, 11:45:01 pm
Thanks, Suzi! Ya I hope to make some new friends and learn about others! :D
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Micah (Alecia) on August 10, 2015, 04:57:39 pm
Hello everyone,

My name is Micah (male) or Alecia (Female) depending on the day it differs, I was born a male but I identify as bi-gender and gender fluid meaning I am in constant flux between male and female. I am sexually attracted to female in both gender roles.Since I was a little kid I have always felt that something was not quite right and it is only recently that I have found the terms to explain what I am going through. The main reason I came to this site was to get answers and guidance as I am still very confused about my genders, I identify as both my and female although like I said some days I feel more female then male and visa versa any help that any of you can give would be greatly appreciated as I am still just trying to figure things out.

Micah/Alecia 
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on August 11, 2015, 04:43:53 am
Hello everyone,

My name is Micah (male) or Alecia (Female) depending on the day it differs, I was born a male but I identify as bi-gender and gender fluid meaning I am in constant flux between male and female. I am sexually attracted to female in both gender roles.Since I was a little kid I have always felt that something was not quite right and it is only recently that I have found the terms to explain what I am going through. The main reason I came to this site was to get answers and guidance as I am still very confused about my genders, I identify as both my and female although like I said some days I feel more female then male and visa versa any help that any of you can give would be greatly appreciated as I am still just trying to figure things out.

Micah/Alecia

Welcome, Micah/Alecia. There are a number of genderfluid people here. I went through a stage like that, though now I've mostly transitioned to female and the male part of me is more of a quiet presence that won't ever let me completely forget it's there.

I hope you find the help you're looking for.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Micah (Alecia) on August 11, 2015, 05:03:47 am
So do I it took an tremendous amount of courage just to get this far. I am so glad that everyone is so supportive I feel so welcome here and I feel I can be my true self.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Lady Smith on August 11, 2015, 06:46:34 am
So do I it took an tremendous amount of courage just to get this far. I am so glad that everyone is so supportive I feel so welcome here and I feel I can be my true self.

The only person you can ever successfully be is yourself.  Welcome to the forum :)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Micah (Alecia) on August 11, 2015, 11:18:34 pm
Words of wisdom to live by thank you lady smith
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Gewaltraud on August 13, 2015, 03:55:10 pm
Howdy, all.

I'm Beth/Wally/Gewaltraud and I'm here because I'm confused about myself, my body and a few other things.

Nice to meet you!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Lady Smith on August 14, 2015, 09:41:56 am
Nice to meet you too, welcome to the forum :D
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Torquill on August 17, 2015, 01:50:13 am
I'm Sam, though I wasn't always.  I expect a court order by the end of the month so that I can be Sam everywhere. :)

I identify as agender, though for me that means I'm pretty squarely in the middle with the volume turned down.  I have masculine aspects, I have feminine aspects; rarely has one of them dominated to the point where I really *felt* like a woman or a man.  Most of the time I'm me, in presentations that skew a little masculine to make up for my body's female traits.  (I'm fortunate that it also has male traits, just not as many of them.)

Coming out non-binary in my late 30s has been an odd experience, since most of Twitter and the press seems to focus on early-twentysomethings or teenage NBs.  The whole idea is new to me -- I had barely heard of non-binary a year ago, and never questioned my gender until this spring.  My family and friends have all been very supportive, though few of them manage to use the right pronouns most of the time (mostly they're still trying to adjust to the name change).  It's all very friendly, though, and I understand it's a process.

Just looking for advice and support from people a little more familiar with this odd state of being. :)

--Sam
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Micah (Alecia) on August 17, 2015, 04:14:28 am
Welcome to Susan's Sam, I have only been here a few days and the people on this site have made, me feel more accepted then anyone ever has. you will get great advice from everyone here, enjoy your stay here I look forward to seeing you around the forums

Alecia
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on August 17, 2015, 12:47:03 pm
I'm Sam, though I wasn't always.  I expect a court order by the end of the month so that I can be Sam everywhere. :)

I identify as agender, though for me that means I'm pretty squarely in the middle with the volume turned down.  I have masculine aspects, I have feminine aspects; rarely has one of them dominated to the point where I really *felt* like a woman or a man.  Most of the time I'm me, in presentations that skew a little masculine to make up for my body's female traits.  (I'm fortunate that it also has male traits, just not as many of them.)

Coming out non-binary in my late 30s has been an odd experience, since most of Twitter and the press seems to focus on early-twentysomethings or teenage NBs.  The whole idea is new to me -- I had barely heard of non-binary a year ago, and never questioned my gender until this spring.  My family and friends have all been very supportive, though few of them manage to use the right pronouns most of the time (mostly they're still trying to adjust to the name change).  It's all very friendly, though, and I understand it's a process.

Just looking for advice and support from people a little more familiar with this odd state of being. :)

--Sam

Welcome aboard Sam.  Nice to have more out of the box thinking around here.  Congratulations for coming out with your family and friends support--thats huge for many of us.  No matter how I change, my history is written and I don't want to deny any part of the past that I lived.  The years of socialization and mixed gender traits I have will remain part of me that I am becoming more comfortable with.  I really like the idea of being free to be our most genuine self.  No one is more qualified to be you! ;D
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Lady Smith on August 18, 2015, 04:10:28 pm
Welcome to the forum Sam  :D
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Mariah on August 18, 2015, 04:12:38 pm
Hi Sam, welcome to Susan's. I hope all goes well with the court order. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. I see you already found our non binary forum. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)

Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Khatru on August 24, 2015, 04:00:56 pm
I'm Dorian, though I haven't decided on the name yet 100%, but this is what I like best so far. I'm a 21 year old demiguy from Sweden, and I'm generally just here to get a feeling of belonging somewhere, talk to other people like me, I guess.

I realised I was not a girl just two or three years ago, and I had never really thought about it before. All of the sudden things just started to feel /not right/ and I didn't want to present fully female anymore. Today, I'm waiting to get my whole transitioning process started so I can finally get my T-prescription. It's not something I thought I would do three years ago but I'm very glad I've come to this decision, I know it's the right thing for me.

Other than the gender thing, I'm a quite colourful and creative person, can be very reserved at times. I love to paint, draw, play guitar. Music is basically my life blood and I have a special fondness for 70's rock and prog. Oh and I have a slight interest in fashion as well, especially vintage stuff. I'm currently studying a few courses at uni, there's a program there for conservation and restoration of art, which I hope to get in to next year.

Very glad to have found this site!

/Dorian
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on August 24, 2015, 05:37:47 pm
Welcome to the Place Dorian,

We have seen a number of new people signing on in the non binary section here and with all sorts of different ways of identifying themselves.  You do belong simply by being yourself and sharing with us.  This is a safe and supportive place.

We are more than our gender identity and I appreciate your telling us more about your interests.  It serves us well to be creative in expression while still valuing the classical arts.

Congratulations for making a start you feel right about.  Care to tell us more about your sense of being a demiguy?  It is new to some people here I'm sure.  I knew I was not a boy or a man long ago but it took a lifetime to figure out where I did fit.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Khatru on August 24, 2015, 05:50:39 pm
It basically means that I identify partly as a man, but not fully. It's enough for me to want to transition, but I'm not a binary trans man. Usually I just say that I'm a trans guy but there's more to it than that.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Micah (Alecia) on August 25, 2015, 10:08:20 pm
Welcome Dorian, glad to have you here. I joined this sight for somewhere to belong as well, I identify my gender as gender fluid meaning it switch from day to day and I am never one set binary gender always a mix of the two. At times more male then female and vice versa, I am male born though. I hope you can find some of the answers you are looking for here, I look forward to seeing you around the forum.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Alison-Rose on August 26, 2015, 09:30:54 am
Until very recently, I'd always considered myself predominantly male (though I did attempt to transition a few years back), only now I can comfortably live in my current skin without the need for any major change because my partner is happy to support me as a genderfluid person, which means that on certain occasions I feel the need to present as a female. Saying this, it's not as if I'll ever be able to pass entirely one way or the other - my physical appearance and personality are too inconsistent to fit into the restricting binary system, not to mention there are years of unintentional damage that have accumulated from during the period I was living in denial. After struggling internally with this problem, I've finally come to accept that my situation certainly isn't unique. Being someone who has dedicated much of their life to helping others through various charities as a volunteer, maybe once I'm entirely satisfied with who I am then I can use the knowledge I've gained to benefit people in a similar situation? In the near future, I hope to finish a book I'm in the process of writing about my journey to find inner peace, plus I anticipate the time will soon come when I can tell friends and family of the conclusion that I reached, finally revealing my true self to them. Perhaps the most important detail that hasn't changed is that I have someone by my side who is prepared to join me in this and whatever life throws at us next. We've endured losses, illnesses, domestic lows and some great highs together. While she begins a new chapter as a university student, I too have decided to start living my life to its fullest, so you can expect to see me around a lot more...

Allie
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on August 26, 2015, 11:14:06 am
Our wealth of knowledge, diversity and personal experience expands with just about every post here.  Thank you for contributing!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: emerry on August 26, 2015, 11:24:45 am
Hi all!

I'm genderfluid, floating somewhere between androgyne, genderless, neutrois and masculine and feminine ends of the non-binary. I'm biologically female and strive for a more androgynous appearance through clothing etc. I'm on my gender journey currently, rather on the beginning.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on August 26, 2015, 11:26:36 am
Hi all!

I'm genderfluid, floating somewhere between androgyne, genderless, neutrois and masculine and feminine ends of the non-binary. I'm biologically female and strive for a more androgynous appearance through clothing etc. I'm on my gender journey currently, rather on the beginning.

And you are very welcome here.  We love explorers and the sometimes fearless adventures we face.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Sam_007fff on August 26, 2015, 01:14:10 pm
Hello everyone, I'm going by Sam on this forum. I'd rather not post my real name to avoid any link to my real life right now. The hex code at the end of my username is for the colour azure, just a title I use in games.

For the longest time I considered myself to just be weird. When I first came across the term non-binary I thought it was a bizarre (to put it lightly). Over the last year however I've discovered many things about myself which I would have previously just considered personality flaws. I'm in a long-term relationship with someone else who identifies as non-binary, which is very fortunate.

I decided to join this forum to better understand myself by reading the posts of others and to occasionally ask questions. I'm still in a very confusing place right now, I'm 30 and spent most of my life in denial and mocking myself. A lot of my childhood memories related to gender I suppressed and it came flooding back in January.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on August 27, 2015, 12:57:21 am
Welcome to the Place Sam Azure.  Weird, bizarre and denial are terms we are familiar with around here ;D  We love questions and reading about other experiences so feel free to share.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Alexx86 on September 25, 2015, 12:00:04 pm
Hi, not sure where to start, 29 y/o, amab GQ-NonBinary persn here.

I fit into too many boxes so I figured I'd best just keep it simple for now.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Lady Smith on September 25, 2015, 05:38:32 pm
Welcome to the N-B forum Alexx :)

Who wants to fit into boxes when you can just be yourself instead.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: transanakin on October 12, 2015, 09:00:17 pm
Hi! I'm Ani. Star Wars fan.
I identify as Non-binary leaning to masculine (possible trans boy) , which has been a terrifying step for me since I was comfortable in my girlyness (but feeling like I was not a girl, you know) and now I have found true happiness in being male. I'm bisexual. My wife is a trans female and has been supporting me on my journey much the same I had and have been supporting her. I am so lucky to have her. We have a son who's 6 and we've been together for 7 years, married for three and a half.

Hope to find answers to all that I'm feeling on here.
 
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Lady Smith on October 13, 2015, 11:50:42 pm
Hi Ani, welcome to the forum :)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Shap on October 21, 2015, 10:51:59 pm
Hey friends, new to this site but not really new to the trans world. Im currently struggling to find a title for myself: not because I need to define who I am to myself but so that I can better explain my identity to others who are either just curious or dont understand.

I consider myself "internally" androgynous although slightly more female than male. And externally I prefer a masculine physique/clothing/appearance. I'm about to have top surgery and I'm on a small dose of T. I dont want facial hair because I find it too masculine.

How on earth do I say this in the most condensed way possible?
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on October 22, 2015, 05:44:06 am
Hi Shap. Welcome to Susan's.  :icon_wave:

Here are some links to site policies and other helpful information:



How on earth do I say this in the most condensed way possible?

I've seen a lot of non-binary people wear themselves to exhaustion trying to find a label they're comfortable putting on themselves. My gender therapist has discouraged me from this sort of activity. She asks instead how I want to live, rather than trying to shoehorn a label onto my experience.

Labels are comforting because they make us feel like we're not alone, but I'm not sure they help a whole lot beyond that. Once I figured out how I wanted to relate to the gendered world (in my case I transitioned and now live happily full-time as a woman), the need for a label seemed less important. I call myself a non-binary trans woman if people ask how I identify, though it seems like that's saying more about what I'm not than about what I am.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Lady Smith on October 22, 2015, 10:38:10 pm
Welcome to the forum Shap :D  I was going to say all manner of things, but Suzi has said them already.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: topit on October 25, 2015, 06:52:52 pm
yo ok so ive been here for a while now 
originally i identified as a trans girl sort of (so demigirl but nobody cared) but recently im starting to realize that i dont believe in gender and i dont think i want anything to do with it so im agender. this is me officially coming out. cool
i still gotta do that 4 my pals because they stil use she/her pronouns (any pronouns r fine for me i think)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on October 26, 2015, 12:55:22 pm
Congratulations for coming out agender and making your own declaration of independence.  I like the idea of not being misgendered when any pronoun is fine.  Chart you own course.  Yes, cool! ;D

yo ok so ive been here for a while now 
originally i identified as a trans girl sort of (so demigirl but nobody cared) but recently im starting to realize that i dont believe in gender and i dont think i want anything to do with it so im agender. this is me officially coming out. cool
i still gotta do that 4 my pals because they stil use she/her pronouns (any pronouns r fine for me i think)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: FlynnEmery on October 31, 2015, 11:44:20 pm
Hello, I'm Flynn.

I have recently been discovering that I am non binary. I identify either gender fluid or bigender. I feel that I am either masculine or feminine at the same time or that I am femme masculine. I feel that he/him pronouns honor the best even if I am dressed femininely. 
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on November 01, 2015, 03:57:45 am
Hello, I'm Flynn.

I have recently been discovering that I am non binary. I identify either gender fluid or bigender. I feel that I am either masculine or feminine at the same time or that I am femme masculine. I feel that he/him pronouns honor the best even if I am dressed femininely.

Hi Flynn. Welcome to Susan's.  :icon_wave:

Here are some links to site policies and other helpful information:

Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Dinah on November 04, 2015, 04:57:54 am
Hello!
I'm Dinah. I'm gender fluid. Someone once told me to "just pick a gender, and stick to it!", but I can't, no matter how hard I try. I'm a woman, I'm a man, I'm neither, I'm both.

I worry you'll think I'm "not trans enough" to be here. :(
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on November 04, 2015, 11:51:45 am
Hello!
I'm Dinah. I'm gender fluid. Someone once told me to "just pick a gender, and stick to it!", but I can't, no matter how hard I try. I'm a woman, I'm a man, I'm neither, I'm both.

I worry you'll think I'm "not trans enough" to be here. :(

Please feel welcome and safe here Dinah.  Many of us may have felt "not trans enough" by some standards or yardsticks but we are in different places in our journey that leads to what, maybe self??  Some of us have dithered along the way and distracted ourselves with any number of interesting life paths.  Sharing more about our experience is valuable and builds a community I only dreamed of 50 years ago.  Whats up with you?
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Devlyn on November 04, 2015, 11:57:46 am
Hello!
I'm Dinah. I'm gender fluid. Someone once told me to "just pick a gender, and stick to it!", but I can't, no matter how hard I try. I'm a woman, I'm a man, I'm neither, I'm both.

I worry you'll think I'm "not trans enough" to be here. :(

Couldn't have said it better myself!  :)  Welcome to Susan's Place, Dinah!

Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on November 04, 2015, 12:07:06 pm
Hi Dinah. Welcome to Susan's.  :icon_wave:

Here are some links to site policies and other helpful information:


Hello!
I'm Dinah. I'm gender fluid. Someone once told me to "just pick a gender, and stick to it!", but I can't, no matter how hard I try. I'm a woman, I'm a man, I'm neither, I'm both.

I worry you'll think I'm "not trans enough" to be here. :(

Being trans isn't a contest. There are no requirements or prerequisites. We accept you exactly as you are.


Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Micah (Alecia) on November 05, 2015, 12:50:27 am
Hello Devlyn I know exactly how you feel, this is me on a daily basis and I am just trying to make since of it all, if you ever need to talk about it feel free to pm me I check in daily
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Dinah on November 09, 2015, 02:36:18 am
Please feel welcome and safe here Dinah.  Many of us may have felt "not trans enough" by some standards or yardsticks but we are in different places in our journey that leads to what, maybe self??  Some of us have dithered along the way and distracted ourselves with any number of interesting life paths.  Sharing more about our experience is valuable and builds a community I only dreamed of 50 years ago.  Whats up with you?

Thank you, I really appreciate your kind words!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Futurist on November 28, 2015, 06:50:39 pm
Hello everyone,

I am Futurist. Anyway, here is some information about myself:

I am currently a 23-year-old university student who is currently living in Southern California. I was a transvestic fetishist (to some extent) ever since I began having a sex drive at age 9 or 10 (though I am unfortunately currently way too hairy to actually act on my transvestic fetishistic desires :(). In addition to this, though, a couple of years ago I began to cross-dream (primarily in a non-sexual way), though I would also like to point out that I would be pretty content being a girly guy/girly eunuch if I could sufficiently feminize both my body and my face. Indeed, while I myself am certainly willing to identify as a male (and/or as a eunuch as well :)), I certainly want to permanently get rid of as much of my body hair and facial hair as possible, to somewhat feminize my face (indeed, think of Stav Strashko or Andreja Pejic before she began physically transitioning), very possibly to take female hormones (though I am flexible on this part considering that I want to be able to continue being able to get erections using my penis and to have penis-in-vagina sex), to get rid of the large bald spots on the top of my head (due to my premature baldness due to poor genetics on my own part), to sometimes cross-dress, et cetera. In addition to this, though, I also certainly want to get rid of my testicles both for sterilization purposes (considering that vasectomies can and sometimes do fail and considering that vasectomy doctors certainly won't pay all of my child support payments for 18+ years in the event of an unplanned pregnancy) and, if possible, to help me feminize my body and my face. Also, I would like to point out that I have previously heard some good things (well, good from my own perspective :)) about estrogen from both trans-women and trans-men. Finally, I would like to point out that I myself want to have a face similar to that of a pre-FFS trans-woman; seriously--after all, while I am presuming that many, if not most, trans-women want to look completely like cis-women, I myself want to look much more like a pre-FFS trans-woman than like a cis-woman.

Anyway, does anyone here any thoughts on what I wrote here? :) If so, then please don't be afraid to speak out. :)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Futurist on November 28, 2015, 06:51:43 pm
Hello!
I'm Dinah. I'm gender fluid. Someone once told me to "just pick a gender, and stick to it!", but I can't, no matter how hard I try. I'm a woman, I'm a man, I'm neither, I'm both.

I worry you'll think I'm "not trans enough" to be here. :(
Frankly, anyone who tells you that you're "not trans enough" is an intolerant, gate-keeping idiot. Enough said.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Lady Smith on November 28, 2015, 07:43:13 pm
Frankly, anyone who tells you that you're "not trans enough" is an intolerant, gate-keeping idiot. Enough said.

This +1  Well said!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Dena on November 28, 2015, 07:55:39 pm
Hello!
I'm Dinah. I'm gender fluid. Someone once told me to "just pick a gender, and stick to it!", but I can't, no matter how hard I try. I'm a woman, I'm a man, I'm neither, I'm both.

I worry you'll think I'm "not trans enough" to be here. :(
If anybody ever says you don't belong here, hit the report to moderator button on the post and we will take care of it.  This is a support site were people are free to explore the transgender spectrum and fluid is clearly a part of that spectrum.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Futurist on November 28, 2015, 09:20:05 pm
This +1  Well said!
Thank you very much! :) Also, Yes, I myself am certainly extremely sick and tired of intolerant, gate-keeping idiots and bastards. :(
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on November 30, 2015, 11:56:27 am
Hello everyone,

I am Futurist. Anyway, here is some information about myself:

I am currently a 23-year-old university student who is currently living in Southern California. I was a transvestic fetishist (to some extent) ever since I began having a sex drive at age 9 or 10 (though I am unfortunately currently way too hairy to actually act on my transvestic fetishistic desires :(). In addition to this, though, a couple of years ago I began to cross-dream (primarily in a non-sexual way), though I would also like to point out that I would be pretty content being a girly guy/girly eunuch if I could sufficiently feminize both my body and my face. Indeed, while I myself am certainly willing to identify as a male (and/or as a eunuch as well :)), I certainly want to permanently get rid of as much of my body hair and facial hair as possible, to somewhat feminize my face (indeed, think of Stav Strashko or Andreja Pejic before she began physically transitioning), very possibly to take female hormones (though I am flexible on this part considering that I want to be able to continue being able to get erections using my penis and to have penis-in-vagina sex), to get rid of the large bald spots on the top of my head (due to my premature baldness due to poor genetics on my own part), to sometimes cross-dress, et cetera. In addition to this, though, I also certainly want to get rid of my testicles both for sterilization purposes (considering that vasectomies can and sometimes do fail and considering that vasectomy doctors certainly won't pay all of my child support payments for 18+ years in the event of an unplanned pregnancy) and, if possible, to help me feminize my body and my face. Also, I would like to point out that I have previously heard some good things (well, good from my own perspective :)) about estrogen from both trans-women and trans-men. Finally, I would like to point out that I myself want to have a face similar to that of a pre-FFS trans-woman; seriously--after all, while I am presuming that many, if not most, trans-women want to look completely like cis-women, I myself want to look much more like a pre-FFS trans-woman than like a cis-woman.

Anyway, does anyone here any thoughts on what I wrote here? :) If so, then please don't be afraid to speak out. :)

It is just my opinion but, the folks with the most specific goals, needs, expectations and desires seem to have commensurately more challenge in getting to those specific results.  Some find their goals to be elusive or foiled by a few jerks making rude remarks.... "if i'm not 100% passable its game over."  Some approach their dysphoria with a need to reduce the pain but maintain their foot in one camp or another for about a million different reasons we have heard here.

Best of luck with finding your way.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Deathmental on December 03, 2015, 11:37:02 pm
Hello everybody!

So, I'm kinda new to this non-binary thing. I've been having doubts about my identity for 4 years. I'll try to sum up my story so that you can tell me what you think.

I was born male (XY) and never had a single thought about "gender" until I was 22. I felt comfortable in male clothes. I liked girls. I was a boy, that was a fact. Not a single hint.
Looking back it all seems so weird, how suddenly it happened.

I always thought that I was different from the others. I couldn't have said in which way, just different. The other boys were not like me. We had some things in common, but not many. When puberty came I was grossed by the way they lusted after girls but I was much more disgusted by the fact that I shared some of their feelings.

By the time I was 16 I began suffering from eating disorders (bulimia nervosa mostly) and a severe depression. At 22 I decided to try some medications. They worked well for my bulimia but they left me even more depressed. Hitting rock bottom.

I kept thinking about why I felt so miserable.
I had long known that my illness was rooted in my sexuality, since it was after an orgasm that I felt the need to binge & purge. My libido made me feel dirty and disgusting. I never saw sex as a good thing or a happy thing. It was just this terrible urge that had to be satisfied.

So, sex was the root of it all. But how?

I don't remember how it happened. I just thought: "I'm a lesbian trapped inside a man's body". Like, out of nowhere. Yes, I had a thing for lesbian girls but I thought that was normal for a guy.
It was just then that I realized I wanted to be one. I didn't want to be a guy.

For a long time I wasn't able to understand how such a thing could be possible. I felt I couldn't talk to anybody about it: it was just too weird. But accepting the fact that I was a lesbian drove all the discomfort with sex away. It made what all the medicines couldn't do: make me feel good about myself.

Eventually I started to research into transexualism. But that didn't feel totally right either. I mean, since I wanted to transition I was a MtF. I started attending transgender spaces and got to know quite a few of them (and fell in love with one).

I wasn't like them and I knew it. I didn't want to be a super-femme. I didn't have the slightest interest for makeup, high heels, handbags, all those things that they were so fond of.

But I wanted the HRT and the SRS anyway. I went to a gender clinic, asking them to help me understand. I attended the sessions in my regular clothes and I was 100% sincere on my feelings. I was crystal clear that I just wanted to change my body, not my attire. I was denied hormones.
The psychologist said I had some dysphoria, but she thought it was a result of depression, I was not a woman. I don't blame her because I understand her point: I was just too different from the other MtFs. They don't have time to consider anything that is ambiguous.

I gave it all up for a couple of months or so. But the thought kept coming back. I was still very confused. The thing that bothered me most was that everything had happened in the wrong order: I didn't realize that I was 1) a girl & 2) a lesbian. I had realized I was a lesbian first, and then I had just thought that I had to be a girl. That's not how it's supposed to work. That really drove me nut, and it still does.

After being denied HRT, it took me 2 years to really try again. The question "Do you feel like a woman?" stopped me every time. All I could answer was "I don't feel like a man".
Then I started to realize how this "man/woman" thing was really just nonsense. What does it mean "to feel like a woman"? Do all cis women feel the same? Does Pamela Anderson feel like a woman the same way K.D. Lang does?

I am something that's probably in between, leaning more on the feminine side. Like a tomboy, or a soft butch. Could that be the reason why I never experienced dysphoria before 22?

Now I know what I want, and the rest doesn't matter.
I want my body to be feminine (but not too much). I want to make love as a girl, to a girl.
I want to be perceived as a girl, even if a more masculine one (I always despised the fact that I was perceived as a boy by girls, but I couldn't figure out why).

I'm still not comfortable enough to talk about my identity in real life, except with a few friends. Maybe that will change when I'll be on HRT (hopefully by february 2016). The new therapist thought I was an aspiring FtM when she saw me. I took it as a compliment. I just hope it's not going to stop me from getting my estrogens.

To the ones who endured the reading, thank you.

P.S. Sorry if there's any mistake, English is not my first language.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Lady Smith on December 04, 2015, 11:04:38 am
Welcome Deathmental :D  I transitioned 25 years ago because i knew I wasn't a man so you're not alone in your experience.  I made the mistake though of thinking that if I wasn't a man i must be a woman and it's taken me a long while to reach the point where I was able to come out all over again as being non-binary.

All those years ago the medical profession had a very rigid view of what a transgender person was so I very quickly learned the expected script in order to get past all the gatekeepers.  Going on estrogen was like coming home after wandering like an exile in the wilderness so I certainly had that part right, but like you I had no interest in being a girly girl and dressing up all fabulous like most of the other transwomen I'd met.

Good luck on your journey and I hope everything does work out well for you.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Drake on December 09, 2015, 04:27:49 am
Hi there!
I'm in my 30s and somewhere in the great confusing forest of terms for nonbinariness, genderqueer or -fluid or whatever the word du jour is.  ;D

I'm dfab and fine with the physical part of it, so transitioning anywhere is not one of my goals. Gender identity-wise it's generally a bit masculine-of-center, but I have varying moods that all have their relevance at the time but overall blend together into not wanting to commit too much to either gender and role and presentation cause none of that is me at the exclusion of the rest, and often it all feels terribly overrated and meaningless.
But since I still want to talk about it, I'm giving this forum a shot. So hi!  Nice to meet you!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Lady Smith on December 09, 2015, 05:22:58 am
Nice to meet you too Drake.  Welcome to the forum :D
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on December 09, 2015, 11:45:19 am
Hey Deathmental and Drake welcome to Susans Place.  it is always refreshing for me to hear from others who don't fit some tidy little gender box out there.  If more people were honest about where they are my guess is that we would recognize a much larger segment of the population is gender variant.

Culture is a huge part of how we view our intrinsic gender identity but is is a crooked yard stick for measuring an individual life.

Good to know more people are feeling free enough to do their own thing.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Ms DeeDee on February 12, 2016, 02:51:10 pm
Hello my lovely friends!  I am new to the forums but already happy to be receiving much encouragement and find out so much information.  I just posted yesterday in the main intro area but thought I really ought to say "Hi!" here as well, as since I've started to identify as other than "just" male over the past year, I've quickly learned that if there's a term for me it's in this vast group of "non-binary".  Reading other intros here, I'm pleased to find a group of people with similar identities. 

Last night was big, I was renewing a professional certification and they had a mandatory demographics questionnaire, which I don't believe was anonymous  The first question was "How do you view yourself?" "Which of the following describes how you think of yourself:" and the options were "Male", "Female", "Decline to answer" and "Something else", "Female", "Male", "Prefer not to respond", and "In another way".  I was very pleased to see this and after thinking about it for a bit, I decided that to answer honestly was to select "Something else" "In another way", so I did!  Afterwards, I felt a wave of joy come over me at acknowledging this. 

Today, after events I describe in the main intro area I completely came out to my wife as trans/non-binary.  Though it was gradual, I had disclosed my cross-dressing/under-dressing to her last summer and I'd discussed more and more recently my feelings about gender, this morning was the first time I used those terms to describe myself.  Today, I feel very, very feminine - I'm all or almost all girl today, probably due to a combination of the emotions of telling her and the liberation of her acceptance.  However, I have to accept the fact that I still have boy parts and I'm not really interested in getting rid of them (in a fantasy world in which I could get rid of them non-permanently, I'd get rid of them in a heartbeat and probably never ask for them back but in a world of permanency and surgically constructed girl parts that aren't fully functional, I'm not there, at least not now - though I certainly relate to and admire to those who choose that path).  Besides, I'm not always so completely feminine and without major changes to my body I'm not going to pass as a woman in professional situations and (I think) I'm OK with that - though I must admit, this is all very new, I've only realized most of this over the past year.  Having this word "non-binary" and a group of friends to share with helps to make it easier.

If you need a third person pronoun for me, you are welcome to address me either in the neuter or the feminine as I am generally a girl to some degree on the inside.

So glad to be here and I hope I can contribute to the support and friendship of others as much as you already have to me!

Hugs,
DeeDee
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Koda9 on February 12, 2016, 05:06:08 pm
Hi,
I'm a DFAB Agender person. 18. Going to college.

I'm here because my family is not accepting, and my trans friends are either having issues of their own, or livin' the life in college.

My pronouns are zhe/zheir/zhem/zhemself.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on February 12, 2016, 09:03:10 pm
Hi,
I'm a DFAB Agender person. 18. Going to college.

I'm here because my family is not accepting, and my trans friends are either having issues of their own, or livin' the life in college.

My pronouns are zhe/zheir/zhem/zhemself.

Welcome Koda. I've found the non-binary area is very accepting. I've been here for nearly four years.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Koda9 on February 13, 2016, 01:37:46 pm
Thanks suzifrommd. It's nice to know. :)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Lady Smith on February 13, 2016, 06:17:26 pm
Welcome Koda  :D  Many years ago I transitioned to the female side of things, then around a year and a half ago I came to the realisation that I was NB and that was why I still felt like I didn't quite fit.  This corner of the forum can seem a little quiet sometimes, but there are a few of us who look in here from time to time.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Hunchdebunch on February 26, 2016, 11:03:02 am
Hi, you may call me Kolby (it's a name I'm trying out right now), I'm 23, and most likely non binary. I am a little confused by my gender; I feel like it's between male and female, but somehow removed from that as well. And yet sometimes I feel sort of boyish, which is all very confusing to me haha :P

Aside from that, I'm interested in art, fantasy, video games, and I like to make comic books :)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Nacht on March 21, 2016, 01:29:13 am
Hello everyone! I just made an account not too long ago. I really wish that I had joined sooner. Ah, well.

My name is Eri and I identify as nonbinary. I'm 24. I'm out to my friends, but not out to my family. Not being out to family is going to result in some serious heartache down the road...because I had my top surgery on March 3rd. My parents don't know about it at all. Thankfully I don't live with them - I live with my bf and his sister. I'm nervous, though. Mom has been pressuring me to see her soon and I'm still wearing the bandages. :/ I'm debating on keeping a sports bra and 'stuffing' it with a couple socks whenever I have to see her, but thinking of that makes me tear up. I spent so long fighting for a flat chest the idea of hiding it and making it look full again...

For the longest time I never thought that I would be able to get top surgery because I'm not ftm. My how glad I am to see nonbinary resources and validation! I wish younger me had known there was a forum like this.   

I'm really into horror stuff, especially Stephen King and Junji Ito. My favorite video game series is Fatal Frame, but I love fantasy genre games like Skyrim and Dragon Age, too.

I hope to have a great time here. :)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on March 21, 2016, 06:33:54 am
Welcome Eri. Good to know you. Susan's Place is a wonderful place to explore and meet people with similar experiences.

For the longest time I never thought that I would be able to get top surgery because I'm not ftm. My how glad I am to see nonbinary resources and validation! I wish younger me had known there was a forum like this. 

Definitely. We're allowed to transition to whatever presentation represents our true selves, including surgery if necessary. Thank heaven the days are over when NB people had to sit on the sidelines cheering on binary people who finally got to be themselves.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Ms DeeDee on March 21, 2016, 10:53:25 am
My name is Eri and I identify as nonbinary. I'm 24. I'm out to my friends, but not out to my family. Not being out to family is going to result in some serious heartache down the road...because I had my top surgery on March 3rd. My parents don't know about it at all. Thankfully I don't live with them - I live with my bf and his sister. I'm nervous, though. Mom has been pressuring me to see her soon and I'm still wearing the bandages. :/ I'm debating on keeping a sports bra and 'stuffing' it with a couple socks whenever I have to see her, but thinking of that makes me tear up. I spent so long fighting for a flat chest the idea of hiding it and making it look full again...

Hi Eri !

Big Hugs.  I really feel for you.  I'm in my mid-40s, my parents aren't living, and I haven't started (nor even decided) to transition (MtF), yet I have no idea when or even if I will tell my siblings or in-laws that I'm transgender and the idea of telling them makes me nauseous—especially my in-laws.  I'm not sure I can handle the stress (but I don't see them often and might be able to just avoid ever discussing it).  I'm even anxious about them seeing me with pierced ears and showing up to work with piercing studs even though I know that's trivial and it's something I just have to do and if I find I need to go on E or get surgery to make my body conform to the authentic me, the stress of not doing it would be much worse I'm sure. 

I am so happy for you that you got your surgery!  That's a huge step!  I hope your mom can understand to some degree and that her understanding grows with time that the pain of having a body that is in discord with who we really are is dangerous, even life threatening, and that that pain and stress is the only illness we have and that sometimes surgery is the only way to get past it.  It's so hard because our loved ones are attached to the idea of who we are and how they relate to us and getting beyond that is painful for them as well.  To your mom, you are her baby girl and she is likely attached to the idea of you as a woman and potential mother.  She needs to let go of that but it may take time.  Maybe the sooner she starts, the better?

I know what you mean about tearing up over even thinking of pretending.  I know that hiding my early experimentation with simple cross-dressing (really just underdressing) before I realized what was going on, was not at all helpful to my relationship with my wife and the more I started to realize what was going on the more painful it got for me as well.  Once I opened up, she became very understanding especially as she came to understand the scope of my distress.  Only you know even half of what you and your mom need though.  This is a wonderful place to talk it out and I wish you the very best.

<More big hugs>

Love,
DeeDee
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: DogSpirit on March 22, 2016, 10:46:58 am
Hi, everyone,

>HUGS< to all of you who came before me here.

I'm a 60-year-old nonbinary. I like that term so much better than androgyne. I'm female-bodied and fairly jealous of Eri for the top surgery. I hope your family embraces your changes!

I had one breast lopped off in a mastectomy and would love to have the other one gone, but I don't want to go near a surgeon voluntarily, even for that. It's kind of fun being lopsided: sort of like wearing my nonbinaryness on my chest :D

The world gives me no grief for my nonbinary presentation, though I don't like the discomfort caused when people think they were wrong to call me Sir. My wife is fine with my boxer briefs and packer.

Thanks for listening.
-- Sue
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on March 22, 2016, 12:08:11 pm
Welcome Sue. I think you'll find a lot of people here with similar experiences.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Funshine Bear on March 22, 2016, 06:07:19 pm
Hello,

I'm agender, DFAB.
I would like to have a male chest and started wearing a binder a few weeks ago.
Until now i wore loose clothes. But i'm changing that.
I'd like to be able to pass as male by changing my clothes and hair.
But i don't want to be on T (for now at least)

I accidentally came out at theatersport last week,
I wrote more about that here: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,206580.msg1833066.html#msg1833066 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,206580.msg1833066.html#msg1833066)
Now i probably have to explain it to my improvisation theater group.
any tips on explaining are more than welcome.

- Funshine -
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: DogSpirit on March 22, 2016, 07:03:08 pm
Welcome, Funshine.

I hope that your theater group is understanding and embracing.

-- Sue
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on March 22, 2016, 07:54:18 pm
I have been traveling for a bit and very happy to see new posts on our Non Binary Intro thread.  WELCOME !

Funshine Bear, I imagine an improv group would be a creative and out of the box bunch of people and would likely be cool with you.  I agree with you completely that labels are not as important as being your authentic self.  Our transition is always custom made ;D
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Funshine Bear on March 24, 2016, 01:59:24 pm
Thank you both :)

I e-mailed the teacher first, asking if i could explain.
He wanted to talk first.
He did most of the talking,.
He assumed my gender is male, and i didn't correct him because that's fine.
I like being seen as male even though i'm agender.
I liked not having to say much.

He was fine with it and is glad that he knows.
He said that i don't have to tell my teammates because i don't owe an explanation to anyone.
He thought my teammates would be more careful with me, (trying not to emotional hurt me) while playing.
So i ended up not telling my teammates.
I want them to play with me as free as they can.

I think 2 of them know anyway but they didn't ask about it.
I'm gonna wear my binder and a t-shirt next week.
So that might be another clue to them.
I don't think the others will notice, because they won't see what they don't expect.

-Funshine Bear-





Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: arice on March 24, 2016, 02:59:05 pm
I define myself as a guy who happens to be female. Another term I like us "masculine of centre". I have always been that way and I generally don't hide it... I'm too lazy to pretend to be something I'm not...
But I also rarely admit the extent of my gender dysphoria. If I had a way to transition to a more androgynous body, I would do it. Unfortunately, due to a previous health problem, hormone therapy of any kind is very risky and so are "unnecessary" surgeries. So I am stuck with my body.
My husband (we've been together 17 years) knows that I am basically a guy (since I've never hid it) but he is uncomfortable when I talk about wishing I could transition. He has always said that being with me was the best of both worlds so I understand his reaction.
I used to work in a male dominated field (forestry) and I was always seen as one of the guys regardless of my body. That made me happy and I was content with that life.
I have now been a stay home parent for 6 years and that is a very female-centered world... I find that I resent being seen as a woman and feel a lot of social dysphoria.
I started lurking on this site a few months ago when my dysphoria had reached a critical point... and I love this site. I love knowing that I'm not alone and that there are other people who feel the same way I do.


Sent from my SM-G870W using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on March 24, 2016, 03:25:31 pm
I define myself as a guy who happens to be female. Another term I like us "masculine of centre". I have always been that way and I generally don't hide it... I'm too lazy to pretend to be something I'm not...
But I also rarely admit the extent of my gender dysphoria. If I had a way to transition to a more androgynous body, I would do it. Unfortunately, due to a previous health problem, hormone therapy of any kind is very risky and so are "unnecessary" surgeries. So I am stuck with my body.
My husband (we've been together 17 years) knows that I am basically a guy (since I've never hid it) but he is uncomfortable when I talk about wishing I could transition. He has always said that being with me was the best of both worlds so I understand his reaction.
I used to work in a male dominated field (forestry) and I was always seen as one of the guys regardless of my body. That made me happy and I was content with that life.
I have now been a stay home parent for 6 years and that is a very female-centered world... I find that I resent being seen as a woman and feel a lot of social dysphoria.
I started lurking on this site a few months ago when my dysphoria had reached a critical point... and I love this site. I love knowing that I'm not alone and that there are other people who feel the same way I do.


Sent from my SM-G870W using Tapatalk

I live in Oregon where logging was King forever.  I have two female friends that are forestry grads and find it challenging to be working with the guys.  I can just imagine it working well for you.  Congratulations for keeping your marriage intact.  My wife has asked me to look at my transition in the reverse and being Bi really makes that much easier for me :D  Yes, we are not alone...
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: DogSpirit on March 25, 2016, 12:11:19 pm
Funshine Bear: Glad it worked out so well for you! I hope things are getting more comfortable for you now.

Arice: "a guy who happens to be female": I like that; that's a good way to put it. This is a great group of people, as you know. I understand about your husband's reaction: I'm a female-bodied being married to another woman, and she's not wild about male packages, so my packer isn't her favorite toy  :)

-- Sue

Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Funshine Bear on March 27, 2016, 09:48:37 am
 :)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Rin-likes-rain on March 31, 2016, 10:33:52 am
Not sure if I replied to this already. I don't think so. Anyway, I'm Alex. I'm 18 and I recently discovered being androgyne. For a long time I thought I was a transgender guy, but it didn't fit anymore after a while. I tagged gender qu**r at the end of it and it fit a little bit better, but often times, I forgot I even had a gender, so feeling like being a trans guy I had to dress masculine, act masculine, all the time felt restricting. Sure, those are things I did anyway, but I hated the idea that being male meant I couldn't be feminine. But I watched a video about Rain Dove and some videos explaining androgyny and I feel so much more comfortable. It's been great. But I still have my first binder on the way. (still in the closet).
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: devourgalaxies on May 03, 2016, 08:34:34 pm
Oh, people haven't replied to this thread in over a month, I hope it's not dead.....

Regardless, I'm Rinn! I'm 22 and androgyne, soon moving to the Chicagoland area to pursue my career in theatre as a stage manager. I often switch my expression between femme and masc, depending on the situation and what makes me feel most attractive on any given day. I go by they/them pronouns. I'm closeted to my family (they didn't take the bi thing well, can't imagine how they'd do with the trans bit) but out to my friends. I can fix most of my dysphoria by getting my correct name, wearing a binder on most days, and the occasional small packer, but my voice is a huge problem for me. That and the fact that my face is pretty feminine are why I'm going to try and start low-dose T this summer.

I haven't found such a huge community of people who actually identify as androgyne anywhere else, and seeing that a lot of you do makes me so excited! I've felt an isolation from the rest of the non-binary community because I couldn't find anyone else who really felt gender the same way as I do, and I'm so happy to find this thread. <3
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: suzifrommd on May 04, 2016, 06:15:39 am
Oh, people haven't replied to this thread in over a month, I hope it's not dead.....

Regardless, I'm Rinn! I'm 22 and androgyne, soon moving to the Chicagoland area to pursue my career in theatre as a stage manager. I often switch my expression between femme and masc, depending on the situation and what makes me feel most attractive on any given day. I go by they/them pronouns. I'm closeted to my family (they didn't take the bi thing well, can't imagine how they'd do with the trans bit) but out to my friends. I can fix most of my dysphoria by getting my correct name, wearing a binder on most days, and the occasional small packer, but my voice is a huge problem for me. That and the fact that my face is pretty feminine are why I'm going to try and start low-dose T this summer.

I haven't found such a huge community of people who actually identify as androgyne anywhere else, and seeing that a lot of you do makes me so excited! I've felt an isolation from the rest of the non-binary community because I couldn't find anyone else who really felt gender the same way as I do, and I'm so happy to find this thread. <3

Welcome Rinn. I see you've explored our little forest a bit already. I look forward to getting to know you.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tasha_ on May 04, 2016, 09:42:53 am
Hi Rinn, I am Taj/Tasha....

I am not sure exactly how close I am to feeling androgyn to you, but I am watching this thread because I am, although I identify as mtf..... I am Tasha when I wear forms... and Taj when I don't.... my pronouns switch according to that at this point. I am masculine when it comes to work, and feminine all other times (other than the rare occasion). Only my very immediate (wife and kids... a FEW family members) know. I go out, and even to stores in a small town now, and even though Taj is known, Tasha is still not.... weird situation.... and wow I never thought I would end up here... anyways, not totally dead, and it's good to hear from you!!! I'm here to talk if you want to!!

Nice to meet you,
Tasha
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Sparky on June 30, 2016, 04:34:25 pm
Hi, I've been floundering around the last few years working out how to express the strong (~equal, maybe dominant) feminine side of me without screwing my life over completely, and ending up in another gender I don't really identify with. It's so great to discover a whole non-binary community! I've never really meshed with boys, or girls, never had a team. I want to wear clothes from either gender, makeup, let my mannerisms flourish. Baby steps at the moment, my dress and look and behaviour is increasingly andro. Getting away with it so far :) Looking forward to chatting on here x 
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on July 02, 2016, 12:55:29 pm
Hi, I've been floundering around the last few years working out how to express the strong (~equal, maybe dominant) feminine side of me without screwing my life over completely, and ending up in another gender I don't really identify with. It's so great to discover a whole non-binary community! I've never really meshed with boys, or girls, never had a team. I want to wear clothes from either gender, makeup, let my mannerisms flourish. Baby steps at the moment, my dress and look and behaviour is increasingly andro. Getting away with it so far :) Looking forward to chatting on here x

Thank you for being aware and knowing there are more than two genders!  Why not be uniquely ourselves?  Fitting in, blending, being one of the masses.  Tried that, not me, and very happy to be going a different route now.  We really cannot know until we are there but it hardly seems to be black or white.  I bet you will/are finding liberation far more than screwing over your life ;D  Welcome to the Place!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: AxelM07 on August 04, 2016, 12:04:05 am
Hi hi~ I'm Axel/Accel, and I'm a little new to the NB community. I used to identify as trans-male, but after much confusion, I've come to realize that I am, in fact, bigender. Sometimes, it's still a little hard to get through the day, knowing what I am and that what I am isn't widely accepted in my small, southern town. At the end of the day, though, I know that I'm being true to myself, and that's all that matters.

I'm looking forward to being an active member of this community, and I'm always here if anyone needs someone to talk to!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on August 06, 2016, 01:41:32 pm
Hey AxelM07,

Welcome to this shared place.  So important that you are working this out with a priority to be true to yourself.  That is an admirable and sometimes challenging part of having integrity.  Good for you!  Thank you for joining the conversation.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: AgentSmash on August 22, 2016, 10:38:54 am
Hey. I'm Amanda, I'm 26, I'm not really sure how to identify ... I started transitioning from f2m when I was 20/21, found presenting as a man didn't define me any better than presenting as a woman. Ever since I've kind of floated around, not really sure what my gender identity is. I'm read as female, people apply she/her pronouns and it doesn't bother me but they're just words to me ... sometimes it feels a little weird that they're referring to me when they say "she" or "her" you know? In terms of expression, I express myself on a wide range from a heavy use of cosmetics and skirts and dresses to masculine-cut suits and casual men's clothes. My natural behavior and instincts sort of blend what most cishet people consider "masculine" and "feminine". Like, I look up to, compete with and emulate other men, I tend to have a more "fatherly" or protective instinct, but I'm comfortable with my genetically female body, and I don't mind being read as female. There's more to it than that, obviously... I think I'm basically someone who naturally breaks down the binary social construct of gender that people have created. I don't make a conscious effort to do it, I just exist the way that I am you know? Like there's a spectrum of gender and I'm sliding along somewhere in the middle.

I guess "genderqueer" is the best word I could use to describe myself but I know it's considered offensive to a lot of people so I don't really bother with finding a word to describe myself ... I'm just me I guess.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: arice on August 22, 2016, 10:53:58 am
There was a meme going around in biology circles a while back. It was a flow chart that purported to show what organisms you should study based on your personality. Tucked at the bottom was a line "I don't have to follow your rules" --> fungi.
I am a mycologist (study fungi) and I don't like following other people's rules... it is also my approach to gender. I don't feel completely comfortable picking either binary and I gate gender stereotyping... but I also don't feel comfortable with the "established" non-binaries either.

So I am calling my gender "I don't have to follow your rules" :)

Sent from my SM-G870W using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on August 22, 2016, 12:05:53 pm
It feels rather refreshing and validating to read posts like those above.  Welcome AgentSmash and arice it's good to know a bit more about how fungi and rules apply :D

There is so much more to gender identity than our current vocabulary and social understanding seem to reveal.  I wandered around the queer world a long time and found little that suggested to me that I was like other transgender people I met.  I knew it wasn't just about clothes, expression, body parts or what is stereotypically labeled feminine or masculine.  The deeper understanding I searched for inhibited my transition and self acceptance as i did not seem to fit any usual trans narrative....till now.

We may not be a big club but I am extremely grateful to the people who continue to pursue their very personal identity and expression.  Rather than being told we are "not doing it right" there seems a multitude of ways to be a singular and authentic standout as ourselves.  Thanks for telling your truth.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: jamie-lee on August 25, 2016, 01:19:37 pm
Hi there

I'm Jamie, I'm non-binary, I think like an man, feel 70% man and 30% woman, I suppose, and I'm FAAB. My outside... still working on it. I'm working on expressing myself in a more masculine manner than I used to. I'm happy being female, but I'm trying to make myself more androgynous, tomboyish, make use of some menswear and so on, live it as a tomboy really, take on a masculine role, because it matches who I am on the inside more. I'm figuring it out. I think what would suit me would be like... having a men's job and dressing rather masculine-androgynous usually, and hanging out with men, and expressing femininity sometimes in hobbies, dressing this way once in a blue moon.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on August 25, 2016, 03:28:49 pm
Hey Jamie-lee, I am happy to welcome you to the non binary section of the Place and a space for discussions that don't fit so well in the two traditional gender boxes we check off as we go through life.  I am a big fan of cultures from our past and, some currently, that consider the time around puberty to be when a person actually selects/confirms a name, gender identity, totem and other trappings of maturing adulthood.  Sometimes associated with a journey but frequently a sacred sort of ritual is involved.

For us it may be a less celebrated event but still an awareness that may strike us as fulfilling our more genuine gender identity.  I felt more like an androgynous and tomboyish person as a teenager and adult and want all of us to have the freedom to simply be ourselves. 

I applaud your strength and determination to self identify without the need to remain a FAAB or any other label.  Terms like butch, boi and grrl give my spell check fits but sure do feel better for some of us. :D
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tommy K on August 25, 2016, 10:30:56 pm
Hey there! I'm "Tommy" (not real name, but I'm stealth male in reality), genderqueer. He/they pronouns are both fine. Whilst I'm genderqueer, I do want to pursue medical transition. So - shh - don't tell the clinic! I present as male day-to-day, but often go to gigs and clubs in ambiguous clothing. Possibly the best moment of my recent life was going to a club dressed as a girl, throwing my wig off at the end, and getting squeals and shouts of, "you make a beautiful girl and a beautiful boy!". I answered, "so I get the genderqueer seal of approval?", to more whoops and general cheering. That was a fantastic night.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on August 26, 2016, 12:17:42 pm
Hey there! I'm "Tommy" (not real name, but I'm stealth male in reality), genderqueer. He/they pronouns are both fine. Whilst I'm genderqueer, I do want to pursue medical transition. So - shh - don't tell the clinic! I present as male day-to-day, but often go to gigs and clubs in ambiguous clothing. Possibly the best moment of my recent life was going to a club dressed as a girl, throwing my wig off at the end, and getting squeals and shouts of, "you make a beautiful girl and a beautiful boy!". I answered, "so I get the genderqueer seal of approval?", to more whoops and general cheering. That was a fantastic night.

Oh that does sound like delicious fun!  Some folks are challenging the entire gender identity and medical treatment regimen and narrative.  I attended a big Portland Q Center meeting where the first and 2nd person ever to be identified as "non binary" by the courts told their stories.  Some genderqueer or non binary folks are getting HRT even as they tell their personal identity truth.  Progress and change are happening!   
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Drexy/Drex on September 25, 2016, 12:17:11 am
Mmm hi I think I qualify  prob
50% male 50% female I'm not sure maybe more female though I'm leaning towards female more now that I've learnt a bit  about all this enough that iwant hrt and ffs
But you know sometimes I just feel
' I am ' not anything im just here like an observer not any gender then some where a switch flicks and im male or female pretending to be male.but a lot of the time
I just feel like "i am " .admitted to myself that I must be transgender.....but I have a choice ot seems though I have this deep impulse to become 95% female
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on September 26, 2016, 12:30:21 pm
Mmm hi I think I qualify  prob
50% male 50% female I'm not sure maybe more female though I'm leaning towards female more now that I've learnt a bit  about all this enough that iwant hrt and ffs
But you know sometimes I just feel
' I am ' not anything im just here like an observer not any gender then some where a switch flicks and im male or female pretending to be male.but a lot of the time
I just feel like "i am " .admitted to myself that I must be transgender.....but I have a choice ot seems though I have this deep impulse to become 95% female

Welcome to the non binary section and it certainly is appropriate to be an observer and just be yourself with or without a switch or certain definitions.  Lots of room here :)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Drexy/Drex on September 26, 2016, 09:16:36 pm
Mmmm thanks this is all so interesting
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: genderlessjolyne on October 07, 2016, 09:53:01 pm
hello i am ludo i am 0% any gender

i made an intro in the main intro thing but

i like video games, jojo's bizarre adventure, and moral and philosophical critiques of cartoons
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: MxEnby on October 08, 2016, 07:11:06 pm
I'm not into giving too much info about me away here, but you can call me Mx. E. I'm 25, live in the UK and am closeted nonbinary, preferring the terms bigender, androgyne and genderqueer as I consider myself falling somewhere inbetween male and female.

I've been confused about my gender  since I was 5, when I began crossdressing and acting out roles of the "opposite" gender. Later on, I found I wanted to transition to inbetween rather than to the opposite end of the spectrum. Even though I'm closeted, I am giving cues in that I wear androgynous clothing (for example, a masculine shirt and trousers and feminine jewellery) and an androgynous hairstyle, and recently started using a gender-neutral name in some circumstances.

Anyway, I hope to contribute plenty to the lively discussions going on around here, and will see you around  ;)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: LizK on October 08, 2016, 08:14:58 pm
Hi Mxenby

Welcome to Susan's. I hope you enjoy your time here. I can see you joined into a couple of threads already and that is great to see. Welcome and enjoy

So you are able to get the very best from being here there are a couple of links we give to all our new members

Regards

Liz

Things that you should read

Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on October 09, 2016, 11:45:20 am
I want to add another warm Welcome to a couple of Newbies and also support their self identification.  I lived for a long time as a androgynous person with very long hair, feminine jewelry and more.  Most people who I worked with simply considered me eccentric and gay.  They got it half right anyway ;)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Little Johnny on October 12, 2016, 08:05:58 pm
Hello! 19, male/genderqueer, he/they, queer in the wider sense.  :angel:
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on October 13, 2016, 11:29:03 am
Hey Little Johnny Welcome to the Place!  I like your style and forthright declarations.  It seems to me that there are more and more guys coming out theses days and being queer is a indeed a wider catch-all term we have "taken back"  I have felt some degree of queer all my life and recall that the term Transgender was not even coined until 1963.

I hope your journey will soon include a more accepting family and trust you know what you want.  See ya around the site.
 
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: RedfootDaddy on October 23, 2016, 03:03:35 pm
Been working up the nerve to write this post since last night (I filled out the captcha first because that was easier than writing).

I think if there's anywhere I could say "my gender is ???" and not have to explain it, it would be here. And yet I still hesitate. I hesitate to call myself trans, because I don't face a lot of the same problems or fears that "real" trans* people do. I hesitate to call myself butch because I've been rejected from that community. I hesitate to use they/them pronouns because having to explain it seems to daunting. I hesitate to basically do anything but be a butch gay woman because of . . . well, lots of stuff. SO I don't feel comfortable in my skin, but I don't know what I can do to fix it because I don't really have a clear picture of the end goal. So I feel like I don't belong in places like this until I do.

But I am very glad to have found this site, through my brother who I am so proud of for embracing his true gender-divergent self.

So back to lurking and reading, I guess.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on October 23, 2016, 03:48:22 pm
Hey RfD,  Welcome to Susan's and please don't hesitate to share, communicate, ask questions and chat with us.  I am one of those who found a million reasons why I could not be trans and then after finally getting clear eyed about my gender i only wish I had faced it more squarely long ago.  Another truth is that there is only one of YOU, your unique narrative and real life need not align with anyone else or carry any specific label.  A voyage of self discover awaits us throwing off the anchors of our past.  See you around.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: EyesOpen on October 23, 2016, 04:47:41 pm
I think if there's anywhere I could say "my gender is ???" and not have to explain it, it would be here. And yet I still hesitate. I hesitate to call myself trans, because I don't face a lot of the same problems or fears that "real" trans* people do. I hesitate to call myself butch because I've been rejected from that community. I hesitate to use they/them pronouns because having to explain it seems to daunting. I hesitate to basically do anything but be a butch gay woman because of . . . well, lots of stuff. SO I don't feel comfortable in my skin, but I don't know what I can do to fix it because I don't really have a clear picture of the end goal. So I feel like I don't belong in places like this until I do.

I'm glad you posted :) And I'm pretty sure you belong here as much as anyone else. This stuff is hard to figure out. Feeling at odds with my own history, learned personas, and the expectations from others drives me crazy sometimes and I completely understand the feeling of not belonging, well, anywhere. You know our families (portions of them anyway!) are here for you anytime that you're struggling <3

And screw people who bicker about labels. They're not worth the trouble IMO. We are who we are, and people who expect us to fit their pre-conceived notion of who we are instead of learning about and appreciating the reality of it aren't worth spending time on. (Now, if only I could follow my own advice here...sigh.)

Quote
But I am very glad to have found this site, through my brother who I am so proud of for embracing his true gender-divergent self.

<3

Quote
So back to lurking and reading, I guess.

That's what I've been doing for a few weeks, and it's done wonders for my ability to feel 'ok' with myself. We're not so weird and/or alone after all :)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Dena on October 23, 2016, 09:54:01 pm
RedfootDaddy, many of the people here are still trying to find a label that fits so being unsure of what to call yourself isn't an issue here. You have questions about yourself and this may be the place that has the answers so that is reason enough to be a member here.

I often greet people in introductions much like you so you are not the first to join the site without a clear path and you will be far from the last. I suggest you ask questions when you have them so you can learn from others who feel much like you. I suspect the answers you seek will be found here but it may take some time so enjoy the site.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: RedfootDaddy on October 24, 2016, 12:18:23 pm
Another truth is that there is only one of YOU, your unique narrative and real life need not align with anyone else or carry any specific label.  A voyage of self discover awaits us throwing off the anchors of our past.  See you around.

Thank you for the warm welcome  - I love that phrase you used. Anchors away!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: RedfootDaddy on October 24, 2016, 12:19:58 pm
I often greet people in introductions much like you so you are not the first to join the site without a clear path and you will be far from the last. I suggest you ask questions when you have them so you can learn from others who feel much like you. I suspect the answers you seek will be found here but it may take some time so enjoy the site.

Thank you so much. I'm just dipping my toe in, but there is already so much discussion and different points of view. I've definitely fallen down a rabbithole here (and then there was the link someone posted to everydayfeminism - another rabbithole . . .)
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: jamie-lee on October 27, 2016, 06:06:56 am
Hey Jamie-lee, I am happy to welcome you to the non binary section of the Place and a space for discussions that don't fit so well in the two traditional gender boxes we check off as we go through life.  I am a big fan of cultures from our past and, some currently, that consider the time around puberty to be when a person actually selects/confirms a name, gender identity, totem and other trappings of maturing adulthood.  Sometimes associated with a journey but frequently a sacred sort of ritual is involved.

For us it may be a less celebrated event but still an awareness that may strike us as fulfilling our more genuine gender identity.  I felt more like an androgynous and tomboyish person as a teenager and adult and want all of us to have the freedom to simply be ourselves. 

I applaud your strength and determination to self identify without the need to remain a FAAB or any other label.  Terms like butch, boi and grrl give my spell check fits but sure do feel better for some of us. :D

I haven't replied yet? Impossible. Better late than never, though :)

Hi and thanks a lot, I don't know what more to say :) Ha ha, I like to think about cutting my hair short as of a sign of maturation. I sorta feel like that two-spirit person, but I'm hesitant to use that. But I hope you get what I mean. During those couple of months, I gave up somewhat on expressing myself in a more masculine manner, it feels somewhat limiting to me. But at the same time, it's funny, I can't get rid of being read as a dude from time to time. Maybe it's the hair, I don't know. But I don't come across as "normal" any longer, I think. Who we are is not something we can lose. It's a journey of becoming confident and getting to know that the crux is self-acceptance, not the exterior.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Amanda500 on November 07, 2016, 10:17:17 pm
Hello! We are Amanda(F), Maleme(M), and LittleOne(m?).  You can read the outline of our story in our master intro here:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,216126.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,216126.0.html)

Maleme is who the world knows us as. We have been lurking since before the great migration to other places by many of the non-binary members. We have been tempted to break our promise of no secrets from our wife many times since this forum felt so much like a home for wandering misfits like ourself. I-Amanda wanted so much to be part of the poetic dance in the Fairy's Forest. There have been so many times I wanted to reach out and tell others that they are not alone in their confusion. I was quite saddened that others who are plural in response to trauma left and hope that some others like us come along.

Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on November 08, 2016, 02:44:25 pm
Hello and welcome Amanda500,

I appreciate your history and find the term "lurking" to have a too negative connotation vs the critically important personal exploration so many of us need to find ourselves.  However you arrived and however you identify it seems there is someone just like you around this Place.  I made some friends for life among those non binary folks of a  few years ago.  I also find that many of us drift away as transition feels more settled? 

I greatly enjoy being female and still own my very long history living as some sort of boy and man.  One of the reasons for my too long history of shame and denial was actually meeting a few transgender people and hearing that I needed to have very binary goals and identity to be considered "really trans."   That was true when I attempted a transition in the 90s when I found no professional help available other than than where to furtively buy a bra.  We are better educated now with the understanding that gender is much more than male/female or masculine/feminine.  There is a wonderful freedom and relief to find our lives can be so very unique and genuine without any gender labels necessary at all!  Hope to hear more from you.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: SideshowBob on January 04, 2017, 06:25:25 pm
I'm Steven and/or Susan and I *think* I'm a demiboy? Gender is confusing. Anyways I'm 18 years old. He/him or they/them.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Amanda500 on January 04, 2017, 09:31:13 pm
Welcome Steven,

The non-binary area is a great place to work out the confusions of gender. We hope to here more from you.


Amanda
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on January 05, 2017, 12:16:46 pm
Good morning from the Oregon coast and welcome to the Place Steven/Susan.  I applaud your interest and outreach and feel you are so smart to be considering identity at a younger age.  One regret we often hear here is that "i didn't start sooner"

There has never been a better time than right now to grow in personal understanding and awareness of your unique identity.  There are volumes written and shared in these many pages.  Some are lyrical and prosaic while others are raw with need and and fear.

I hope you enjoy this explorers path.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Cailan Jerika on January 20, 2017, 10:50:43 am
I reintroduced myself in the regular introduction area, and now here I am. I have always exhibited the "symptoms" of being bi-gender, but I either failed to recognize it, or I was in denial. I'm really not sure which. For a long time I was very confused, because I had the desire to have penetrative sex with my own penis but I didn't want to stop being female. It made no sense, so I shoved it into a corner only acknowledged it occasionally, and only in the dark of night in my own imagination. I also never understood why I always felt slight uncomfortable/awkward/not right in my daily female presentation, despite enjoying being female and loving the feeling of a skirt swishing around my legs. Now I know it was dysphoria, coming from the male side.

My counselor only wants to classify me as "non-binary" at this time, though I feel in my heart "bi-gender" is the correct term for what it is I am. I have an ever-present male and female side who generally don't like each other all that much. Each prevents the other from being happy, and it results in a whole lot of gender dysphoria. In outward ways the female side (which happens to match my body) has prevailed, but my personality tends to be more male than female.

I'm married (27 years) to a MtF, who has not really begun transitioning, but expects to begin this summer. It's a rocky path, because the female part of me desperately needs him to stay male. She needs a strong male in her life as a lover and partner. My male half is more okay with the situation. My husband and I are working through ways to meet in the middle, though it's beginning to be more of a struggle as he becomes more she, and urges me to embrace my male half and transition. I think mostly because this fits his (her?) desires - to still have me and have a male-female relationship, just with our roles switched. It would kill my female side to transition all the way to male. I prefer to have my female side just a little dominant. I am also unhappy with how my body looks as a male right now. I have absolutely no clue how to transform myself, and the YouTube tutorials don't help at all, because I am hopeless with makeup and such. I really need someone who knows this thoroughly to hold my hand through the process. I'm in a remote rural city, no gender groups to help me out, except for a MtF group that talks inclusion but ultimately rejects anyone who isn't a really femme MTF.

We both came out to our local immediate family this week. Their reaction of surprise (and almost immediate acceptance) of my husband went well. As to my own bi-gender identity, my younger son's reply was "Mom, with you that's no surprise. It's been obvious for years." Huh. Maybe it was because I was unaware of my male side (willfully unaware?) and therefore not really trying to hide my male side. I don't know. But somehow I was the last to know.

As part of an exercise in advance of a transgender conference we plan to attend we were asked to provide new names to match our genders, so we worked on it. I came up with Kailan Jade - a unisex name for a bi-gender person, but Kailan is slightly more masculine, to represent my male side, and Jade is slightly more feminine to represent my female side.As a whole, *think* the name creates a unisex image - not sure what gender the person is. If I'm wrong, please let me know!

My younger son commented that the name sounds like a fantasy book character. I reminded him that my given name is literally straight out of Lord of the Rings.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on January 20, 2017, 11:03:56 am
Welcome again Cailan Jade!  Whatever a therapist says I tend to respect your individual identity as your owned expression far more.  It takes many of us a long time to get here and we all take a personal route

So good to hear of the support you and your family are enjoying.  My son said something similar to me when coming out and I think they can have an intuitive sense about us prior to our announcement.

I trust you will continue your journeys together and I look forward to your sharing and exploring right here.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Sigmund7 on February 23, 2017, 05:27:05 pm
I found these forums a week or so ago and have been spending my time reading the Crossdressing and Non- Binary sections to decide where I belonged.  For better or for worse, you folk win.

I’m almost 67. happily married and, after years of wondering have finally decided that I am an androgyne.

My story goes back to about 1970.  That was the first time I ever met an openly gay person.  I was not appalled, upset, or even concerned, which was a very positive reaction in1970.  I thought about whether I might be gay and decided I was not, I loved everything about women too much to be gay. 

Fast forward 30 years.  I was the faculty advisor for our campus GLBT student club and began to wonder if trans might be a better identity.  I cross dress on occasion and, for years, shared an underwear drawer with my wife.  That didn’t really work either, as I was not unhappy living as a man and felt no gender dysphoria. Still thinking.

Around 2012 I began to wear panties on a regular basis and decided to paint my toenails during the Winter months just because I got a kick out of looking down in the shower and seeing the bright colors.  It’s not a sexual thing so much as a statement of identity.  I’m happy in my life, with no gender dysphoria and a good marriage, but I’ve never felt like a “man”.

A while back I discovered the terms “androgyne” and “genderqueer”. That was/is me and always was the case. I’m some percent male and some percent female (it varies from day to day) and always have been.  No harm, no foul. 

Hope to learn a lot from those of you who have been here longer.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on February 23, 2017, 11:39:44 pm
I am happy to be one of the unofficial welcome wagon weirdos around here.  I live part time in Portland Or where the City motto is "Keep Portland Weird".  I'm doing my part for the upper NW corner. ;)

Thank you for sharing some of your life experiences and sense of identity.  Funny, but I just popped in from a thread discussing gender dysphoria.  Nice to hear you don't suffer that feeling.  Other threads discuss transition and many trans folks embrace a social change rather than a medical or surgical path in their journey.  I am sure you will enjoy exploring here and glad to hear that you are happy and still thinking.  I am a college trustee and feel sure we both embrace life long learning. 

Nice to get another win, our recruitment program seems to be working out and I might get a toaster oven ;D
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Sigmund7 on February 24, 2017, 03:11:05 pm
Thanks for the welcome, Tessa.  I havent heard about the toaster ovens for a long time.  Is that promotion still going on?


I am happy to be one of the unofficial welcome wagon weirdos around here.  I live part time in Portland Or where the City motto is "Keep Portland Weird".  I'm doing my part for the upper NW corner. ;)

Thank you for sharing some of your life experiences and sense of identity.  Funny, but I just popped in from a thread discussing gender dysphoria.  Nice to hear you don't suffer that feeling.  Other threads discuss transition and many trans folks embrace a social change rather than a medical or surgical path in their journey.  I am sure you will enjoy exploring here and glad to hear that you are happy and still thinking.  I am a college trustee and feel sure we both embrace life long learning. 

Nice to get another win, our recruitment program seems to be working out and I might get a toaster oven ;D
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on February 24, 2017, 03:22:35 pm
Thanks for the welcome, Tessa.  I havent heard about the toaster ovens for a long time.  Is that promotion still going on?


Oh my yes,

We offer special incentive programs for virginal youth, gold star gay and lesbian members and TERFs!  We have a fine selection of SWAG (some worthless ass gift) items to choose from that feature pin up girls from 1940 to ensure modern relevancy.  Okay, i do love to tell stories and poke fun and trust folks recognize that people are not really able to be seduced by the salacious fun we trans or LGBTQ communities have.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Billie B on March 06, 2017, 10:02:24 pm
Hello, Hello, Hello Non-binary beauties  :-*

I am Billie and Billy and I'm genderfluid with my heart, soul and presentation swinging to the mtf, feminine side. Until I found out that genderfluid was a "thing" I figured I was just flying my freak flag high by crossdressing and experimenting with makeup, all the while thinking how unfair it is that girls get to have so much more fun expressing themselves stylistically and emotionally while boys can't excel without a narrow, drab pallet. Keep in mind that I'm a musician and have been offered a lot more expressive leeway than accountants and politicians :D
Still, It's time to be bold and fearless with regards to GENDER IDENTITY!!!

So, here I am loving the Susan's Place community at the start of my HRT to bring out more of my cherished femininity and my love for my trans male buddies. I'm looking forward to sharing more about my genderfluid and bi-gender / genderqueer self in the coming months and years.

Pleased to meet you,
Let me spell my name,
B I L L I E or,
B I L L Y,

I love you either way!



Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Drexy/Drex on March 06, 2017, 11:51:17 pm
Great  intro.... Haha  you hit the nail on the head in regards  to has the most fun
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on March 07, 2017, 12:57:04 am
Hello, Hello, Hello Non-binary beauties  :-*

I am Billie and Billy and I'm genderfluid with my heart, soul and presentation swinging to the mtf, feminine side. Until I found out that genderfluid was a "thing" I figured I was just flying my freak flag high by crossdressing and experimenting with makeup, all the while thinking how unfair it is that girls get to have so much more fun expressing themselves stylistically and emotionally while boys can't excel without a narrow, drab pallet. Keep in mind that I'm a musician and have been offered a lot more expressive leeway than accountants and politicians :D
Still, It's time to be bold and fearless with regards to GENDER IDENTITY!!!

So, here I am loving the Susan's Place community at the start of my HRT to bring out more of my cherished femininity and my love for my trans male buddies. I'm looking forward to sharing more about my genderfluid and bi-gender / genderqueer self in the coming months and years.

Pleased to meet you,
Let me spell my name,
B I L L I E or,
B I L L Y,

I love you either way!

Oh Billie B I love you too!  Anyone who still flies a freak flag is good with me :D  I dismissed and discounted my trans identity until the day I met another Enby person.  They were in my face (not literally) with a whole new reality to consider beyond the M/F, black and white binary narratives.  NB peeps, like anyone, are free to transcend those artificial cultural restraints on expression.  I used to think the grass was so much greener for girls.  Now I'm not so sure.  As an artist you know of creativity as a gender free liberation maybe?

Yes please do share.  I will enjoy your bold and fearless contrast to so many that remain with manacles of the mind ;D
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Billie B on March 07, 2017, 02:06:36 am
Thanks for the welcome Tessa. I have many wonderful binary trans friends both male and female. My girlfriend is pretty darned binary and she's awesome
I have also been excited to see a lot more non binary trans peeps coming out of the closet. So to speak
Life is the perfect adventure isn't it?!? I'm curious to see if and how my gender identity responds to estradiol. Super excited actually. Will keep y'all up on the ins and outs and ups and downs.
Huggies and xoxo
Billie and sometimes Y


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Selina on March 18, 2017, 02:39:45 pm
Hey everyone!

I'm a 58 year old male (body) who is very late to the party. I've known since I was 4 or 5 that I loved all things feminine and wished I could live my life as a boy being totally a girl, except for the genitals. I started crossdressing as a teen and have been off and on over the years. Most of my life unfortunately has been spent overcompensating for my feminine thoughts, personality, desires. I have always known there is a woman inside of me crying to be set free from the prison my male side locked her up in. I came close to freeing her 6 years ago but pressure from my wife and fear from my male side won out. Circumstances in my life have caused me to finally set Selina free recently. I started seeing a therapist and she is absolutely wonderful!! I am free to be myself with her and that makes me feel wonderful! If I could live my life anyway I wanted it would be as a male (genetalia wise) presenting as a female fulltime, doing HRT, and getting FFS. I have never had a desire to transition. I have a wonderful wife to consider, a job in a very male dominated, macho industry, and two wonderful teenage daughters. Family, friends, and a lifetime in the same area play a part too. I strongly identify with the non binary folks but still am not completely sure who I am. I look forward to learning from everyone and sharing where my journey leads me. Selina is free and will not be denied anymore!!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: infidel on March 21, 2017, 05:16:48 am
Hello Friends!

My name is Courtney.
I am 21 and currently in University.
I am genderqueer and go by all pronouns.
I was born female, but always felt very masculine growing up. I am very thankful to have amazingly supportive parents who did not confine my gender expression as a child. When I was younger and learned about transgender and HRT, I considered transitioning FtM but felt that that did not accurately convey my gender. I knew about non-binary during High school, but it wasn't until I got to University that I learned more about genderqueer identity that I felt kin with it.

Sadly puberty had some plans for my body that I did not appreciate. I developed incredibly large breasts. During high school I worked to save up money for a breast reduction after graduation, and my insurance helped me cover it. I am beyond words to explain how much that helped me with my body dysmorphia. Because I understand the massive improvement cosmetic surgeries (and HRT! ) can have for an individual and their self-actualization; I am on track to get an MD/PhD and hopefully work as a reconstructive plastic surgeon who specializes in gender affirming procedures.

Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Jacqueline on March 21, 2017, 07:00:20 pm
I found these forums a week or so ago and have been spending my time reading the Crossdressing and Non- Binary sections to decide where I belonged.  For better or for worse, you folk win.

I’m almost 67. happily married and, after years of wondering have finally decided that I am an androgyne.

My story goes back to about 1970.  That was the first time I ever met an openly gay person.  I was not appalled, upset, or even concerned, which was a very positive reaction in1970.  I thought about whether I might be gay and decided I was not, I loved everything about women too much to be gay. 

Fast forward 30 years.  I was the faculty advisor for our campus GLBT student club and began to wonder if trans might be a better identity.  I cross dress on occasion and, for years, shared an underwear drawer with my wife.  That didn’t really work either, as I was not unhappy living as a man and felt no gender dysphoria. Still thinking.

Around 2012 I began to wear panties on a regular basis and decided to paint my toenails during the Winter months just because I got a kick out of looking down in the shower and seeing the bright colors.  It’s not a sexual thing so much as a statement of identity.  I’m happy in my life, with no gender dysphoria and a good marriage, but I’ve never felt like a “man”.

A while back I discovered the terms “androgyne” and “genderqueer”. That was/is me and always was the case. I’m some percent male and some percent female (it varies from day to day) and always have been.  No harm, no foul. 

Hope to learn a lot from those of you who have been here longer.

Sigmund,

Very late but welcome to the site. I'm glad it helped you figure a few things out.

Are you in therapy? Gender therapists help quite a bit in guiding one through the maze that is the trans self discovery.

I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment:

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Joanna
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: cinderkaburagi on April 12, 2017, 04:05:05 pm
Hi I'm Cinder. I identify as genderfluid even though I'm on the guy side majority of the time. I found out 2 years ago, but only recently considered doing some transition. I want to to have top surgery and I've already taken the first step by making an appointment with SoCal Kaiser for a "gender orientation" next month. I'm not sure if I want to even take T less much change my legal name. I'm excited for California to have non-binary on driver's license. I've started wearing a They pronoun badge daily too. I write, create designs, and play video games in the little spare time I have because college is such a time suck. If anyone else uses Transgender care for SoCal Kaiser, please tell me your experience. The Transcare coordinator didn't mention much when I contacted them. 
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on April 12, 2017, 10:55:03 pm
So i have been traveling for a few weeks and happy to see some new Enbys (NB) folks have made introductions since then.  What a delight to hear of Selina's freedom and journey.

Courtney you know we need you with that MD and FACS in Plastic Surgery, you will have a line up waiting for you!  Way to own your life!

Cinderkaburagi  I think you are in good hands down there in So Cal KP.  I assist KP as a patient rep and suggest they have some fairly well established people and policies in place.  Lemme know OK?

Welcome aboard and thank you for introducing yourselves.  I imagine there are huge numbers of folks who come by and read here but never say hello.  You are part of making a virtual community and can get as connected as you like or need.  See ya around.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: omalleytac on April 18, 2017, 05:06:18 am
My birth name is Sarah, sometimes I go by Jack.
I consider myself genderfluid, two spirit, androgyne, gender neutral. I am 25.

***TW:Genitalia Talk***

I am confused about my genitalia. I am fine having a woman's body but I mainly hate my vagina.
I would prefer to have a penis or no genitalia at all.

***TW:abuse***

I have been sexually abused most of my life and I feel that the abuse partly had an impact on how I view
having a vagina. However, I was never really comfortable with my vagina to begin with.

So, I feel a bit out of place...

I've been told it's not okay for me to want to identify as intersex, even though I always had felt I should have been
born with both a functioning penis and vagina. (although I understand it is fairly uncommon)

I'm confused...

Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on April 19, 2017, 10:04:58 am
Hello Omalleytac,

Welcome to a good Place to sort things out.  As you can see there are hundreds of thousands of folks who deal with questions, confusion and gender identity.

Your unique perspectives and history can be shared and ideas explored.

Abuse is tragically too common but need not define the rest of our lives.

See ya around Jack.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: cornbread on May 03, 2017, 06:45:15 pm
Hi, so I'm cornbread, I joined the forum a few weeks back and then got distracted and now I'm back.

I knew I was somewhere in the middle ever since I was a teenager, now I'm 29, have come out to friends and family as nonbinary and using they/them and a new gender-neutral name and it's terrific. For a while I thought I might be a trans man but my brief infatuation with the idea of being fully male has subsided for now, and I'm happy being my androgynous self (but some of my friends call me he/him because they have trouble with using the singular "they." Compromises compromises.)

Hope to be around for a while.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on May 05, 2017, 01:07:00 pm
Hi, so I'm cornbread, I joined the forum a few weeks back and then got distracted and now I'm back.

I knew I was somewhere in the middle ever since I was a teenager, now I'm 29, have come out to friends and family as nonbinary and using they/them and a new gender-neutral name and it's terrific. For a while I thought I might be a trans man but my brief infatuation with the idea of being fully male has subsided for now, and I'm happy being my androgynous self (but some of my friends call me he/him because they have trouble with using the singular "they." Compromises compromises.)

Hope to be around for a while.

Hey Cornbread,

Whatcha cooking up lately? ;)  Welcome to the non binary part of the forums.  As you likely know there are many many more folks these days who identify somewhere within the NB spectrum.  It seems like new terms, labels, expressions and gender identities are being discussed and recognized these days.  The trans narratives used to feel rather restrictive and narrow but young folks especially seem to be busting the doors off in favor of their unique perspectives and individual authenticity.  I salute your coming out, androgyny and ability to compromise.  Good on ya as our Aussie friends say :D
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Deb Roz on May 25, 2017, 04:38:24 pm
Hi Everyone, 

I'm Deb,  36/M, and I'm seriously questioning my gender for the first time.  I've flirted with my feminine side for my whole life.  When I was much younger, I learned to keep my cards close to my chest, because of the fear of ostracization from my peer group or straight up violence.  Then, over time, those behaviors became second-nature.

I'm not sure why, maybe it's because my brother is mid-transition FTM, but I've really started to want to express my femininity lately.  So, I found Susan's place, and I've really gotten a lot from reading about the experiences here.  I started out mostly checking the MTF boards, but now I am interested in the Non-binary identity. 

While I ache to be feminine, I don't hate my masculinity.  I'm mostly okay with it.  What I'm not okay with is feeling stifled and repressed.  Those feelings are very powerful, and I am terrified at the idea of 'coming out' to my family and friends.  And yet, I can't help but explore my dysphoria and the feeling that my gender expression is incomplete. 

Anyway, I'm rambling.  I do that a lot :)  Thank you so much for this wonderful community.  I am very thankful to have somewhere to talk about this.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on May 27, 2017, 01:03:39 pm
Hi Deb,

Welcome!  Yes there is plenty to explore here and within ourselves relative to gender.  I would guess that there are significant numbers of people who are tired of the gender straightjackets the dominant culture seems to revere.  Straight, cis, or LGBTQIA people all have a stake in greater personal freedoms and that includes gender expression.

Fear is, as usual, our mutual enemy.  Take the Star Trek and simply "go boldly" or go anyway that works for you..
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Dena on May 27, 2017, 01:49:08 pm
If you feel you might be a member of the non binary, you should look at our WIKI  (https://www.susans.org/wiki/Transgender) and see what matches. Unfortunately the non binary community isn't real active but I have learned something about it if you have questions. There are non binary active on the site and should be checking in over the next few days.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Jessica on June 22, 2017, 02:26:49 pm
Hi I'm Jeff/Jessie.  I'm 61.  I'm bi-sexual in that I enjoy having sex with my wife as a man and as a woman with my boyfriend.  When I'm making love with my boyfriend I truly feel with my imagination that I am a woman and I have a vagina.  With my wife I'm all man.
I'm going to go through hrt for breast growth, feminine curves and hopefully a tamer sex drive and calmer mind.  I don't want to have srs and don't mind having a penis, but if I wasn't married to such a wonderful wife, I would probably want a vagina.  I have tried several herbal breast enhancement programs with limited success.
My wife knows of my desires and is mostly okay with it.  But enjoys sex as much as I do with each other.  She knows my boyfriend and is okay with us having sex together.
I'm hoping for nice breast development and curves but I understand at my age not as much will happen as if I was younger. 
I want at least a bit of me to be the woman I am also.  But hope to present as a male mostly.  Am Will I become more feminine as I go ..I hope so, but also want to be male.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on June 23, 2017, 03:56:14 pm
My birth name is Sarah, sometimes I go by Jack.
I consider myself genderfluid, two spirit, androgyne, gender neutral. I am 25.

***TW:Genitalia Talk***

I am confused about my genitalia. I am fine having a woman's body but I mainly hate my vagina.
I would prefer to have a penis or no genitalia at all.

***TW:abuse***

I have been sexually abused most of my life and I feel that the abuse partly had an impact on how I view
having a vagina. However, I was never really comfortable with my vagina to begin with.

So, I feel a bit out of place...

I've been told it's not okay for me to want to identify as intersex, even though I always had felt I should have been
born with both a functioning penis and vagina. (although I understand it is fairly uncommon)

I'm confused...

Welcome to Susan's Place.  Many people come here with concerns and confusion and share their questions by posting just as you have.  Many people here have issues with the genitals we were born with.  i hope and trust you can find people here who feel similarly out of place and are working to define themselves and better understand the world we share.  Best to you.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on June 23, 2017, 03:59:35 pm
Hi I'm Jeff/Jessie.  I'm 61.  I'm bi-sexual in that I enjoy having sex with my wife as a man and as a woman with my boyfriend.  When I'm making love with my boyfriend I truly feel with my imagination that I am a woman and I have a vagina.  With my wife I'm all man.
I'm going to go through hrt for breast growth, feminine curves and hopefully a tamer sex drive and calmer mind.  I don't want to have srs and don't mind having a penis, but if I wasn't married to such a wonderful wife, I would probably want a vagina.  I have tried several herbal breast enhancement programs with limited success.
My wife knows of my desires and is mostly okay with it.  But enjoys sex as much as I do with each other.  She knows my boyfriend and is okay with us having sex together.
I'm hoping for nice breast development and curves but I understand at my age not as much will happen as if I was younger. 
I want at least a bit of me to be the woman I am also.  But hope to present as a male mostly.  Am Will I become more feminine as I go ..I hope so, but also want to be male.

Hello and Welcome,

You sound like a very interesting person who is doing well at sorting out what you want and need.  Good for you!  I hope you enjoy sharing here.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: ENC on July 05, 2017, 10:47:14 am
Hello, I'm ENC.
 I've been identifying as non-binary for a couple of years now, but have been only been able to tell a few people.
While I've cycled through various identities, I always go back to non-binary. I don't feel like a girl, but not a boy either, I just feel like me.
I like to film, write , and read comic books.
I hope that one day I'll be able to further feel alright in my own skin and surround  myself with people I feel safe with.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on July 07, 2017, 11:57:07 am
Welcome ENC!  Sounds like you have been doing some searching of sorts and have a very reasonable goal for now.  I hope you also will feel safe to explore here.  See ya around.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Sno on July 09, 2017, 06:04:57 am
Hi Everyone, 

I'm Deb,  36/M, and I'm seriously questioning my gender for the first time.  I've flirted with my feminine side for my whole life.  When I was much younger, I learned to keep my cards close to my chest, because of the fear of ostracization from my peer group or straight up violence.  Then, over time, those behaviors became second-nature.

I'm not sure why, maybe it's because my brother is mid-transition FTM, but I've really started to want to express my femininity lately.  So, I found Susan's place, and I've really gotten a lot from reading about the experiences here.  I started out mostly checking the MTF boards, but now I am interested in the Non-binary identity. 

While I ache to be feminine, I don't hate my masculinity.  I'm mostly okay with it.  What I'm not okay with is feeling stifled and repressed.  Those feelings are very powerful, and I am terrified at the idea of 'coming out' to my family and friends.  And yet, I can't help but explore my dysphoria and the feeling that my gender expression is incomplete. 

Anyway, I'm rambling.  I do that a lot :)  Thank you so much for this wonderful community.  I am very thankful to have somewhere to talk about this.

Hi Deb Roz.

To misquote an author, welcome to wonderland - it's a real challenge of self exploration, isn't it. It sounds like your journey has begun - destination unknown and it it does sound like your immediate family will be supportive, that's a real asset.

Have a look at the 30 day genderqueer challenge - if nothing else, it may help guide your questions a little - as will a therapist to talk this all through with.

Feel free, express you, and embrace the future.

Rowan
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Deb Roz on July 10, 2017, 12:39:00 pm
Thank you Rowan :)

I like that 30 day Genderqueer challenge.  Those questions are great for me to think about.  I like having a structured set like that to guide my thoughts. 

Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Bailee/Alex on July 11, 2017, 12:59:52 am
Hi, I was born Bailee, female, and I live in Texas. I am 16, and I have been struggling with being "Bailee" for a very long time. It wasn't until I turned 13 that I realized why I hated "bailee". I feel like I might not be her anymore, although I do not feel bad using female pronouns, I love when people tell me (Usually disgusted) that I look like a boy, oh, I thought you were a boy, and I just do not know how to handle these feelings.

Growing up, I loved the name Alex. I feel like it is a name I could use, and be happy. I often imagine myself as a flat-chested, square-shouldered Alex, and I don't know if i'm just crazy, or if I am non-binary, or gender fluid. If you have any advise, please help.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on July 11, 2017, 04:23:50 pm
Hey Alex,

A warm welcome to you and thank you for coming in to the Place.  One of our modest moderators will likely check in to let you know more about our terms of service and rules.

I so admire anyone sure of themselves and strong enough to even address your questions as a teenager.  Good for you!  There are literally thousands of people who have shared those same thoughts and concerns here.  It may help to know that you have very good company and while you're a unique person many people are here figuring themselves out too.

I suggest you trust your feelings to start with.  I often felt crazy and the standard narratives and labels did not fit.  You can chart your own course on a voyage to discover yourself.  You have shared a little with us already and I hope you will feel comfortable posting ideas and/or responding to posts on the forum pages.  I hope you also have opportunities in your real time community to talk with other supportive people.  Anything happening at your school?

Sadly Texas is currently dealing with a legislature seemingly intent on hurting transgender students and other non conforming folks.  The topic of trans is big in the news so perhaps there are also resources you can find out about?  Best wishes and please let us know how your doing.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: LizK on July 11, 2017, 05:51:22 pm
Hi, I was born Bailee, female, and I live in Texas. I am 16, and I have been struggling with being "Bailee" for a very long time. It wasn't until I turned 13 that I realized why I hated "bailee". I feel like I might not be her anymore, although I do not feel bad using female pronouns, I love when people tell me (Usually disgusted) that I look like a boy, oh, I thought you were a boy, and I just do not know how to handle these feelings.

Growing up, I loved the name Alex. I feel like it is a name I could use, and be happy. I often imagine myself as a flat-chested, square-shouldered Alex, and I don't know if i'm just crazy, or if I am non-binary, or gender fluid. If you have any advise, please help.

Hi Alex/Bailee

Welcome to Susan's. I hope you enjoy your time here.

I think from my experience doing what you are doing is a good place to start. Explore how you feel, find a safe place and someone you can trust whether that be a therapist, or best friend...someone you trust and start chatting. There are many others who question so don't feel alone there are plenty here only to willing to help.
 
So you are able to get the very best from being here there are a couple of links we give to all our new members

Site Policies and Stuff to Remember (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)

Regards
ElizabethK
Global Moderator

Please Remember

Do not share anything on Susan's that you do not want to be public information.

Things that you should read
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Sal Square on July 13, 2017, 04:09:03 pm
So -

Hi there. I'm Sal, from Austria, twenty years old, and only figured out what I'm most likely not only... maybe one and a half months ago, thereabouts? - that is, a cis girl/woman (doubts about that, without necessarily having the words to describe it or putting everything together, went on for a couple of years). Whether I'm male or not - well, that's the part I'm less sure about  :laugh: - don't quite know, for now tending towards "probably not (only or fully) but maybe? I don't know?" 
Part of the reason I figured things out was... well, the way I felt disconnected from and uncomfortable with the concept "female" as applied to me, ranging from being called a girl or woman, my first name, my hair when I let it grow out the one time during my whole life when somebody else talked me into it, my chest, and... well, the list actually goes on a bit, and degrees of disconnect and uncomfort differ quite a bit with different items on it.
Just having short hair, wearing a chestbinder, and deliberately not wearing the girlier clothes my mother somehow talked me into sometimes and wearing things I actually like instead left me way more comfortable than I remember since... probably since puberty started; I'm also out to my parents, although trying to talk about anything to do with my gender with my parents is hard. Part of it might be the fact that they didn't actually learn about what non-binary was until I came out to them and that twenty years of a different name and gender assumption are hard to erase. Part of it is hopefully that they'll just take time getting used to having a child and no daughter...

I'm pretty new on this forum, just joined a couple of days ago, in fact - I've already introduced myself over in the Introductions board.  :)
Non-binary is probably the best word I have to describe myself currently (it's also the one I found first, and the one I accepted first), although I'm starting to warm up to genderqueer and would like to find other words that fit me. I'm probably going to go on people's nerves with asking them how they feel about their (a)gender(s) pretty soon in a new thread unless anybody points me to an existing one with that purpose - in fact, if anyone wants to tell me now, I'd be happy(- just also unsure whether you're allowed/supposed to do that in this thread...)!

As an aside - even if there are some bits about not telling people how to identify in the site rules, am I still allowed to ask other people whether they know any existing terms that fit my experience and how I could identify, as long as it's treated as a suggestion and I explicitely asked?
It should be, but... asking for permission is better than asking for forgiveness as long as you're reasonably sure you might get it.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Dena on July 13, 2017, 06:53:11 pm
Unfortunately Sal, you are the only one who can define who you are and for some of us, it can be difficult coming up with a term that fits. In the non binary it's even more difficult because I think there are labels that haven't been defined yet. I can help you with this a little as there are standard terms that might define how you feel. The first is our WIKI  (https://www.susans.org/wiki/Transgender) which has a good description of the non binary. The second may not be as appropriate however I am tossing it in just in case. It's  “the transition channel”  (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfO3B57E6NpIn-KsVjvmLLw) and it targets people who desire a full transition. Look the links over and if you have additional questions, feel free to ask.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on July 17, 2017, 10:00:05 am
Hey Sal,

As Susan's signboard notes "We Stand at the Crossroads of Gender,...".  So we have hundreds of thousands of people who have written here regarding their personal perspectives around their "identified at birth" gender and how they really feel and see themselves now.  A treasure trove really and with new people dropping by all the time it is a fair bet that you can generate more discussion.  Bring it on :D
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Sno on July 18, 2017, 06:27:25 am
Sal,
Before birth, we are given a quest, to challenge our assumptions, find our own place and path. Your journey has begun with the big question - what am I, now that I know a little of who I am?

As your journey continues, and your questions continue, will you find some of your answers - you will know them well, as they will fit comfortably, as an extension of you, and we're happy to be at the beginning of 'In the beginning' with you.

Welcome.

Rowan
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Jacqueline on July 19, 2017, 03:06:36 pm
Hello, I'm ENC.
 I've been identifying as non-binary for a couple of years now, but have been only been able to tell a few people.
While I've cycled through various identities, I always go back to non-binary. I don't feel like a girl, but not a boy either, I just feel like me.
I like to film, write , and read comic books.
I hope that one day I'll be able to further feel alright in my own skin and surround  myself with people I feel safe with.

Hi ENC,

Welcome to the site.

Sorry this welcome is so late. I was away for quite a while.

Thanks for sharing all that personal information.

I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment:

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Jacqui
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Raell on July 22, 2017, 08:57:39 pm
I'm a 64-year-old, non-transitioning nonbinary partial transmale, who lives as an androgyne.

I'm also on the asexual spectrum-demisexual and panromantic.

I am currently living in southern Thailand, but planning to return to the US ASAP for serious health reasons.

I lean heavily toward male behavior although I look like a delicate female.

My interests and hobbies are many; extreme bird and wildlife photography, training horses for trail riding and driving and doing so, designing and sewing comfortable action clothing and underwear, writing, illustrating, astronomy, physics, making new inventions to assist in my birding activities, reading, traveling, swimming, linguistics, music.

I speak/read six languages, but not all fluently, or at the same level. I've lived in Haiti, Mexico, at least nine states in the US, and taught ESL in Thailand since 2010. I have taught part-time in two universities in KY.

I have two grown children in the US-a boy and a girl, and the girl has also traveled extensively and speaks several other languages, including Austrian and Japanese.

My personality is obsessive and high energy.

This is me, jumping a log on my Walking Horse, Banjo, near Soldier, KY, followed by my rescue chow mix, Shaney, Nov. 2005. Banjo was also a rescue-an abused show horse who was terrified of people when I bought him.

[Link Removed]
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Jacqueline on July 27, 2017, 02:48:26 pm
Hi I'm Jeff/Jessie.  I'm 61.  I'm bi-sexual in that I enjoy having sex with my wife as a man and as a woman with my boyfriend.  When I'm making love with my boyfriend I truly feel with my imagination that I am a woman and I have a vagina.  With my wife I'm all man.
I'm going to go through hrt for breast growth, feminine curves and hopefully a tamer sex drive and calmer mind.  I don't want to have srs and don't mind having a penis, but if I wasn't married to such a wonderful wife, I would probably want a vagina.  I have tried several herbal breast enhancement programs with limited success.
My wife knows of my desires and is mostly okay with it.  But enjoys sex as much as I do with each other.  She knows my boyfriend and is okay with us having sex together.
I'm hoping for nice breast development and curves but I understand at my age not as much will happen as if I was younger. 
I want at least a bit of me to be the woman I am also.  But hope to present as a male mostly.  Am Will I become more feminine as I go ..I hope so, but also want to be male.

Hi Jeff/Jesse,

Long wait for you to get a welcome not. Sorry but here it is.

Thanks for sharing you experiences with us. I hope we are able to support and help you.

A Cautionary Note:
This is a public forum so please [remember when posting that The Internet Never Forgets, and the various web crawlers and archival sites out may retain information that you post.

We cannot ensure that any information you share on the site will be protected from public view and/or copying or reproduction. This warning is also listed in the Terms of Service listed below.

If you give out personal information on Susan's you are responsible for any consequence.

I also want to share some links with you. They include helpful information and the rules that govern the site. It is important for your enjoyment of the site to take a moment to go through them


Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Jacqui
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: OblivionLight on July 28, 2017, 02:50:04 pm
I just realised I never posted in here, so here goes.

I'm Alex, and even though I identified as agender for some 5-6 years, I'm now slowly setting on demimale, because it fits much better with how I feel (and kind of have always felt) than agender does. I'm starting to look up support groups in my city, and I do want to seek out a gender therapist eventually, because I know I want to transition to a degree and definitely have top surgery. I'm panromantic/pansexual, and I use both they/them and he/him pronouns.

I'm currently trying to figure out what makes me feel Good about myself, where I want to go and what I want to do appearance wise, but I'll figure it out in time. For many years I hid behind another label as to not.... bother with what was actually going on with me, I think mostly out of fear - fear of being rejected, fear of being judged etc. I have a LONG history with bullying, and as I was still in high school when I first started admitting to myself that I'm not a girl, I just wasn't ready for what could come with it. For a long time I was only out online anyway, far away from people I knew IRL. Although most of my current friends now are actually from high school and know I'm not female, it's still scary to think about coming out. I probably will sooner than later, though; they've been my friends for some five years now, it feels right to tell them.

Anyway! I love to read and write, I've been an avid roleplayer in the past on forums as well as Tumblr, though currently I only RP with my best friend through emails. I write short stories and bits and pieces of books I eventually want to write in my spare time, too. I like to sketch from time to time, love playing video games (RPGs and simulation games, mostly) and am also a huge music nerd. I play guitar (bass, electric and acoustic) and I have a CD collection of nearly 250 titles lol, that's not counting doubles from special editions or reissues or any singles I have on CD.

I'm fluent in two languages (Dutch and, obviously, English). I understand French and speak a decent amount, too, and I understand but don't speak German and Spanish. I also know very basic signs in both American Sign Language and Dutch Sign Language and know the hand alphabets of both.

A random fun fact about me is that I collect Coldplay singles, special editions of their albums etc, and plan to get a tattoo after one of their songs that means the absolute world to me.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on July 29, 2017, 01:54:44 pm
Hello Oblivion Light,

Lots of people start their exploration of gender on line and some work it out through roll play too.  I'm sure you have plenty of company in these circles.  I offer you welcome and encouragement to share your literary talents with us.  Check out the "unicorn forest" here.  As a writer it might entice you? 

Fear and bullying are a too frequent part of many personal narratives we hear and know about.  So good to understand that you are working through the coming out with friends options.  I hope you enjoy your time here and that we get to know you even better.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: RomanViscera on July 29, 2017, 02:07:21 pm
Hello, Im Roman.

Ive been nonbinary and out to friends and classmates for a few years now, but not to family. lately ive been leaning more towards masc presentation but i still love to wear makeup and occupy space as a genderless blob and have been steeling myself to try to come out to my family and start hrt, but thats slow going  :( hopefully soon!!

love the community here so far!!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on July 29, 2017, 02:24:20 pm
Hey Roman, welcome aboard.  There are increasing numbers of Non Binary NB or enby people coming out.  Our presentations are wonderfully diverse and colorful.  We need no straight jackets or tired stereotypes.  We own our own life and make it what we will. 

When doing trans 101 training I remind folks that anatomy is not destiny and that we should assume nothing about a person's gender because of how we dress.  Enjoy yourself and set yourself free.  Why should't you wear make up and dress the way you wish?  The dominant social paradigms are falling all around us and good riddance.

Getting to know you as a person might take some time but you/we are worth it.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: RomanViscera on July 29, 2017, 03:04:54 pm
Hey Roman, welcome aboard.  There are increasing numbers of Non Binary NB or enby people coming out.  Our presentations are wonderfully diverse and colorful.  We need no straight jackets or tired stereotypes.  We own our own life and make it what we will. 

When doing trans 101 training I remind folks that anatomy is not destiny and that we should assume nothing about a person's gender because of how we dress.  Enjoy yourself and set yourself free.  Why should't you wear make up and dress the way you wish?  The dominant social paradigms are falling all around us and good riddance.

Getting to know you as a person might take some time but you/we are worth it.

Thank you Tessa!! You are right, haha. I need to start learning to just go with the flow!! And yes, we definitely are all worth it! :D
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Dani Rae on August 09, 2017, 05:18:43 pm
My name is Dani Rae. My pronouns are they/them/theirs or she/her/hers. I'm a genderqueer riot grrrl, a graduate student in a counseling program, and a musician. I play guitar, banjo, mandolin, and bass. Someday I hope to find the time to work on an album called A Queer and Pleasant Danger.

-Dani Rae
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on August 09, 2017, 11:55:38 pm
Hey Dani Rae,

I admire your educational and musical pursuits and love that album title too.  New to me identities are shared here all the time and I would love to learn more about being a genderqueer riot grrl if you care to tell more?
Welcome aboard the Place.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Dani Rae on August 10, 2017, 09:52:02 am
Hey Dani Rae,
I admire your educational and musical pursuits and love that album title too.  New to me identities are shared here all the time and I would love to learn more about being a genderqueer riot grrl if you care to tell more?
Welcome aboard the Place.

Thanks Tessa. I can't really take credit for the album title as I took it from the title of Kate Bornstein's autobiography. As for the identity... I have tried on quite a few different labels since starting to question my gender, all falling under the nonbinary umbrella. I have used transfeminine in the past, which might be a bit more descriptive. I don't identify as either a man or a woman, but I feel more connected to femininity and present as feminine. So the genderqueer part denotes being outside of the binary and actively questioning gender. The riot grrrl movement was the synthesis of feminism and punk rock in during the 90's by bands like Bikini Kill, Sleater-Kinney, and Bratmobile. I've always been a punk rock kid. So riot grrrl speaks to the feminine aspect of myself, my musical self, and my beliefs.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on August 10, 2017, 10:04:31 am
Thank you Dani Rae,  I was a bit unsure about the riot part and considered it could be like our <vagina> Riot sisters or a civil disobedience kind of thing :)

The more traditional binary narratives were an obstacle for me when I attempted a transition back in the 90s.  Just couldn't see where I fit and was basically told I didn't.  Now it feels more clear and accurate for folks like us to claim our unique place under the sun.  Gender free is one way I have been feeling lately and that feels good too.

  I don't identify as either a man or a woman, but I feel more connected to femininity and present as feminine. So the genderqueer part denotes being outside of the binary and actively questioning gender.

^^  This I share with you completely tho we are likely generations apart in age.  Rock on! :D
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Dani Rae on August 10, 2017, 12:45:06 pm
The more traditional binary narratives were an obstacle for me when I attempted a transition back in the 90s.  Just couldn't see where I fit and was basically told I didn't.  Now it feels more clear and accurate for folks like us to claim our unique place under the sun.  Gender free is one way I have been feeling lately and that feels good too.

I am very grateful to the people that came before me that made it easier to claim our identities. It can still be difficult, but there is information available about different identities that wasn't before. It actually wasn't until I found out about nonbinary identities that I started to question my gender. The traditional "trapped in the wrong body" narrative never fit, so I didn't know my discomfort was about gender for a long time. When I realized it things started to fall into place. It has been an interesting journey so far, but I am happier than I have ever been.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on August 10, 2017, 01:11:14 pm
I am very grateful to the people that came before me that made it easier to claim our identities. It can still be difficult, but there is information available about different identities that wasn't before. It actually wasn't until I found out about nonbinary identities that I started to question my gender. The traditional "trapped in the wrong body" narrative never fit, so I didn't know my discomfort was about gender for a long time. When I realized it things started to fall into place. It has been an interesting journey so far, but I am happier than I have ever been.

You and me friend!  I started back in 2013 and was in a euphoric dream state for the first 8 months ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: BlueJaye on August 14, 2017, 04:56:12 pm
I'm posting here because I think nonbinary is probably the only word that comes close to what I am. I have always felt weird about my male genitalia and male sexuality, but I don't have an overwhelming desire to look female. I have cross dressed a little bit in secret, but it made my depression worse because my build is all wrong for a woman. I just looked stupid wearing women's clothing and over time women's clothing stopped appealing to me. Especially after I got married. Women's clothing just became clothing.

Although I have many times felt that I would be more at ease in a female body, I look at the process of getting there and I just don't feel like I could handle it. It seems worse than dealing with the gender dysphoria I already deal with. Looking male and being male socially isn't all that terrible to me. I just get hung up on the sexuality part of being male, along some specific cultural expectations of males that I don't identify with.

In discussing my feelings with my therapist, she suggested that I should be open to the idea that I may be nonbinary. So, here I am posting on the nonbinary introduction board. I'm not totally sure what I should call myself.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on August 14, 2017, 05:53:08 pm
Hey WAI,

You are not alone in finding more challenges than answers to your identity question. Non binary is fast becoming the general umbrella label many people can relate to.  Non binary may be where your personal and tailor made gender suit fits perfectly.

For some of us it may be a "fall back" position in that we may not be as strongly motivated to see ourselves transitioning to a distinct or stereotypical gender.  Some of us have less or little dysphoria about our body but find that gender roles are inconsistent with how we act and feel.  There are people here on Susan's, that i know very well, who have transitioned all the way through GCS but still identify as non binary.  Our body and the clothes we wear do not necessarily define us, right?

People can readily appear male and be quite feminine in their intimate world and the privacy of the bedroom.  We don't all advertise and certainly we know about judging books by the glossy cover jacket?  Hope you continue a successful journey to find your personal niche.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Alíz on August 16, 2017, 08:49:09 am
I’m agender, presenting predominantly masculine.

I'm also an aromatic asexual.

I currently live in Hong Kong and hope to go to England for university (and maybe immigrate there because Hong Kong isn’t the most accepting of non-binary identities).

I was AFAB and am also very short (around 4'10").

I plan to study mathematics at university.

I don’t know what else to say so I’ll end this here. Hello!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on August 16, 2017, 12:00:40 pm
Welcome Aliz,

You gave us some personal information about yourself and i encourage you to expand and expound on any of the stimulating ideas that cross these pages.  Since over a quarter million folks "visit" this Place every month we can assume there is interest and a real need for people to express themselves about gender.

Agender or gender free is understandable to me.  When faced with that "what are you, a man or woman"? question i sometimes ask; why does that matter to you?

I hope you continue on to university.  As a college trustee I have seen education be the key to further lives in Transition.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: daltoid37 on November 05, 2017, 02:08:25 am
Hi I'm new here, and I'm Dalton! I go by they/them pronouns, but I lean towards being more masculine.

I was born a girl, but with a very masculine name. I've learned that I don't like people calling me a girl (and being one) nor do I like specifically being male, which I learned after using male pronouns online for a while. So right now, my gender is specifically 'idk'
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on November 05, 2017, 10:37:04 am
Hey Dalton,

Welcome to Susan's from the Pacific coast of Oregon.  None of us had a say in how someone else identified us at birth.  As we mature and assert our very personal gender identity it can be challenging to the dominant cultural paradigms and stereotypical gender roles.  You and I may be at different places in terms of a gender spectrum but I can certainly relate to not being comfortable with a given label of "boy" or with my given name. 

IDK seems an honest and open place to be on our journeys of self discovery and acceptance.  From here we can learn and grow.  Best of good times to you!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: upcummingattractions on November 09, 2017, 06:06:23 am
So, I'm Sarah. I'm 27 years young and really, really sarcastic if I like you, but at the same time, I'm a hopeless romantic and self-proclaimed poet that can't function without my coffee.

Things I like include gaming, reading, writing fanfiction and poetry, sleeping, fangirling, the internet, musicals, anime/manga, and making photo edits.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on November 09, 2017, 12:34:24 pm
So, I'm Sarah. I'm 27 years young and really, really sarcastic if I like you, but at the same time, I'm a hopeless romantic and self-proclaimed poet that can't function without my coffee.

Things I like include gaming, reading, writing fanfiction and poetry, sleeping, fangirling, the internet, musicals, anime/manga, and making photo edits.

Welcome aboard Sarah,  Young and seemingly irrepressible?  Great!  Sounds like you get in a bit of screen time too.  Romance never stops for me either and all of my fantasies work out in dream world.  Sarcasm and teasing are also traits I share but darned if it is a challenge for me not be then be misread as mean and aggressive.  Poking you with a stick is provocative but all i want is all of your love, honest! :angel:  You might check out our Unicorn Forest page here.  poets and thoughtful prose happen on occasion.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: upcummingattractions on November 11, 2017, 04:09:04 am
Welcome aboard Sarah,  Young and seemingly irrepressible?  Great!  Sounds like you get in a bit of screen time too.  Romance never stops for me either and all of my fantasies work out in dream world.  Sarcasm and teasing are also traits I share but darned if it is a challenge for me not be then be misread as mean and aggressive.  Poking you with a stick is provocative but all i want is all of your love, honest! :angel:  You might check out our Unicorn Forest page here.  poets and thoughtful prose happen on occasion.

Thank you, Tessa. I forgot to mention in my OP that my greatest love is Alan <orgasming>, but as I'm doing so now...I guess I don't need to worry too much.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: MrsKing on November 11, 2017, 04:54:48 pm
Hello all!

My name is Christina and I am 29yrs old.

I don't consider myself male or female. I was born with a vagina, but have the brain of a male. I look in the mirror and I don't see what I feel on the inside. I love my vagina but hate my breasts because I see myself more masculine than anything else.I never really thought to give myself a label, or pronoun because either way, I am me. I don't get offended either way, however. The only time I find myself offended by pronouns is when I walk into the women's restroom and someone assumes I am in the wrong bathroom. It's more of the fact that someone thinks I am that stupid that I can't read a sign rather than being called a male.

I have find a local office who does both counseling and hormone replacement therapy. My first appointment is at the end of this month. My goal is to have top surgery and lose these lady hips 😜

I am excited to be part of this forum and learn more about myself and others. I have a terrible time trying to express how I feel through writing so being on this page has definitely helped. 

I am married to my beautiful wife who 100% supports me. From day one she has been my rock and I wouldn't be where I am today without her.
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Tessa James on November 12, 2017, 11:01:42 am
Hello all!

My name is Christina and I am 29yrs old.

I don't consider myself male or female. I was born with a vagina, but have the brain of a male. I look in the mirror and I don't see what I feel on the inside. I love my vagina but hate my breasts because I see myself more masculine than anything else.I never really thought to give myself a label, or pronoun because either way, I am me. I don't get offended either way, however. The only time I find myself offended by pronouns is when I walk into the women's restroom and someone assumes I am in the wrong bathroom. It's more of the fact that someone thinks I am that stupid that I can't read a sign rather than being called a male.

I have find a local office who does both counseling and hormone replacement therapy. My first appointment is at the end of this month. My goal is to have top surgery and lose these lady hips 😜

I am excited to be part of this forum and learn more about myself and others. I have a terrible time trying to express how I feel through writing so being on this page has definitely helped. 

I am married to my beautiful wife who 100% supports me. From day one she has been my rock and I wouldn't be where I am today without her.

Good morning from the Pacific coast.   Welcome to the Place and best bet venue for just what you are describing above.  Learning happens here and a big part of that is sharing our experience in a moderated setting.  Speaking of moderators, one should come along soon for the formal welcome.  Many of us share your perspectives about gender and pronouns even as that can be perplexing to some of our friends here who may be more binary in outlook and goals.

You have an obvious head start and promising future with that clear statement of who you are and who you have in your inner circle of support.  Thank you for saying hello!
Title: Re: Non-Binary Introductions
Post by: Laurie on November 12, 2017, 12:28:48 pm
Hello all!

My name is Christina and I am 29yrs old.

I don't consider myself male or female. I was born with a vagina, but have the brain of a male. I look in the mirror and I don't see what I feel on the inside. I love my vagina but hate my breasts because I see myself more masculine than anything else.I never really thought to give myself