Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Non-Transitioning and Detransitioning => Topic started by: BeckyCNJ on December 16, 2018, 01:30:57 pm

Title: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: BeckyCNJ on December 16, 2018, 01:30:57 pm
This is more a philosophical question than a reality-based one but I curious how other women here would answer. When I've talked to my therapist and others who are cisgender I've told them that if somehow a pill came out that would remove dysphoria and there would be no harmful side effects, I doubt I would take it.

While I haven't transitioned (and don't expect to) and my dysphoria continues to be a great cause of distress, I feel as if I would be "killing off" a part of myself that I love. I don't quite have the words to explain this, and with the words I do have it may sound as if I'm talking multiple personality disorder, but Becky is such a part of who I am that to see her disappear, even if it provided welcome relief from my anguish, is not something I would be ready to do.

Fortunately, my dysphoria has never reached a crisis state where I've seriously contemplated suicide, and if I had I suppose my answer would change.

Getting a little deep on a rainy afternoon in New Jersey.

Becky
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Danielle M on December 16, 2018, 01:43:31 pm
Yes I would take it in a heartbeat.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: BlueJaye on December 16, 2018, 01:44:16 pm
Estradiol and spiro take away a large part of my dysphoria. If I could get the anatomy corrected I don’t think it would be much of an issue anymore.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Shawnna on December 16, 2018, 03:04:54 pm
There is a pill, called estradiol.  I’ve been on it for two and a half years and my suicidal ideation has been gone ever since.

It’s not perfect but I think its AMAZING! Better than the antidepressants I was taking before.



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Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Katie Jade on December 16, 2018, 03:26:51 pm
No I wouldn't. Im having too much fun transitioning. A pill like that would remove something but not everything about feeling wrong. E or T, depending, helps a lot but what removes GD is our own internal feelings of being who we really are. I have to do this for the 50 years I have lost and was uncomfortable with. I need to fight and win, a pill is an easy way out. Im a better person for fighting.
I am real, I am becoming me.
Loving it

Luv n Hugz

Katie

 :-*    ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :laugh: ^-^ ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Randi on December 16, 2018, 05:13:10 pm
A fine lot of good it would do me to take the pill.  I've already got substantial breasts and butt.

Once the line has been crossed there is no use in denial
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: KathyLauren on December 16, 2018, 06:40:10 pm
I'm with you Becky.  If someone had offered me a pill that would make Kathy go away, I wouldn't have taken it.  Kathy was and is me, who I am.  Get rid of who I am??  I don't think so. 

A pill that would allow Kathy to stay but be happy being a boy?  No, same thing.  That would be killing off a huge part of who I am.  I am only now starting to realize how much of my former life revolved around not wanting to be a boy.

But then, you are asking non-transitioners, and that is not me.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Lisa89125 on December 16, 2018, 07:47:58 pm
No. I have to travel on the this journey of transition and wouldn't change a thing. This is who I am and I am happy to be transgender. It's the rest of the world that needs a pill. A get smart pill!  ;D

Lisa
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: GingerVicki on December 16, 2018, 07:52:38 pm
Kinda a hard question. I do take pills to remove my dysphoria and they are Spironolactone and Estrogen patches.
Although, I believe that these do not count.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: ChrissyRyan on December 16, 2018, 08:10:55 pm
No, I would not take such a pill if that means that I would not still be mtf.

To not have some gender dysphoria means it would be unlikely that I would be mtf.

There is nothing wrong being mtf.  That is what and who I am.  I am Chrissy.

I am just in the wrong body and I was not raised female on top of that.

To trade-in my trans status to not be trans is not what I want.

I accept the gender dysphoria that comes with that.

As I transition further, I think the dysphoria will diminish over time. It may never go away completely.  The more it goes away, good.

The speed of my transition is up to me.  But Chrissy is not going away.  I can’t.

Chrissy
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Phlox1 on December 19, 2018, 01:59:27 pm
There were signs of dysphoria when I was a child, but I didn't know what it was.  It was mostly gone during my teen years and life was pretty good at that time.  It returned in my 20's and only got worse with each passing decade.  So if taking a pill would mean that the way I was during my teen years continued, and that I would be a more manly and more romantic husband and stronger fatherly figure to my children, then I would probably take it.  But it would need to do all those things.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: NatalieRene on December 19, 2018, 02:07:33 pm
I would not take a pill that alters me on a mental level. The mind and our thought processes are what define us an individual. To take the pill I would effectively kill myself and someone else would be me. It sounds an awful lot like that one curative therapy session I got dragged to by my parents without telling me ahead of time.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: laurenb on December 19, 2018, 07:21:27 pm
Take two Estradiol and call me in the new year  ;)
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: SeptagonScars on December 28, 2018, 07:44:38 pm
I will never understand the fear that you'd somehow be an entirely different person, or lose an aspect of yourself, if you were cis instead. Perhaps my perspective is just different, though. From the other side of the looking glass.

I took that kind of pill (in a metaphoric/figurative sense) and literally all that changed was that my dysphoria went away, I connected to my female body, and began to think of myself as a woman instead of as a man. And I really love seeing myself as a woman. Like a scarred but beautiful warrior queen, of sorts. My personality is exactly the same, and so is the rest of my life. Except from having to bring up my detransitioning all the damn time, and people complaining about having to change what name and pronouns they use for me AGAIN.

Of course I don't really mean it in a literal sense that I "was trans" or "got my dysphoria cured" for all I know but... I did live my entire life hating and feeling disconnected from my female sex characteristics that I got naturally due to being bio female, until fairly recently. I still refer to that feeling as "dysphoria" but if it was actual gender dysphoria? Debatable. As a child I felt like I was neither male or female, but acknowledged my body was female. In my early teens I was conflicted and kept shifting between thinking I was either a guy or gender neutral. At 15 I figured I was a trans guy, transitioned from age 19 and thought of myself as a binary man consistently until my detransition this summer, shortly after I turned 29. I have only ever felt like I am a girl/woman for the past 6 months of my life. It's but a fraction of my entire time on earth. Something like 0,0014% of it. With that said, I think I can at least jokingly say that for a cis person, I've been very trans.

I unintentionally began to heal my bottom dysphoria with intense self-therapy (I was just trying to figure out if I really wanted bottom surgery or not) and in less than 2 months it went from severly bad dysphoria to absolutely loving that part of my body, for the first time ever. I could do the same with the rest of my remaining femaleness, which was essentially just my wide hips additionally, cause of being far into transition. And because I was far into my FtM transition... when my originial dysphoria healed away, it unfortunately got replaced with medically induced dysphoria from my transitioned traits instead. That was a bummer.

I can not heal that dysphoria away. I tried but unfortunately my attempts only exacerbated it instead. Something in my subconscious mind backlashed it at me. I'm at a point where I think I'll just try to get everything reversed, that I reasonably can, cause I've had enough of dysphoria for this life. Enough is enough. I guess it's just my hairline that I can't do anything about, and I don't know how upset I can allow myself to be about that. I've got enough sorrow.

But my point is, I was living as though I was a transsexual man, like there was no doubt. And now I'm living as the cis woman I apparently always was but didn't know until this year. Stumbling around in the world as a woman for the first time ever at almost 30... It feels a little awkward, admittedly, but I really like it and it feels very comforting that I actually connect with and love my natal parts. It kind of, in some sense, feels a bit like I've stepped out of a fog. Like I'm not sure who I was before, but whoever it was it wasn't me. But when I think about it I know it was me. And I wasn't all that different at all. People who know me surely recognise me just fine.

But as the question only barely applies to me if I twist and turn it around a few times... If I could go back in time and actually have an active choice in what happened, would I then have taken such a pill if it had been an option?
- Considering how I was thinking about such things back then, I would have refused it, too proud to be a man. But my current self would then like to whack my past self hard in the head and tell her to stop being such a misogynistic, paranoid, stubborn, insufferable idiot and just take the damn pill. And force it down my own throat if I'd have to. Okay, maybe I have changed a bit ;)

Teen me would have wanted it. When I first discovered I was likely trans, I didn't want to transition or change my body. I wanted to just be rid of the dysphoria and then be fine with being a cis girl. If possible to travel that far back in time and give her that pill, I think that would be the best.

But now? Well, it's applicable to my medically induced dysphoria. Dysphoria is dysphoria, even my cisphoria. If there was a pill to get rid of that, I would take it. I'd still likely go for breast reconstruction and laser off my beard though, if not else so to feel more "normal" among the other cis, better looking (according to my own personal opinion), to possibly make dating easier (since I realised I'm a lesbian, my dating pool is more limited, I guess), and to not get <poo> from other people about it in general. But it would be nice if I could like... walk around without my breast forms with my chest flat under my fem clothes and just be like "some women do have very flat chests, so what" and feel fine about that.

I mean, I see it as that such a pill would make me feel okay or even fine with the way I look in its current entirety, but that I could still feel insecure or get upset by people being rude or mean to me because of those male traits on my otherwise female body. And like that wouldn't be fun in the long run either. But also if such a pill would make me super fine with my body as it is currently and make me not even want those procedures anymore, that would be completely fine too! Honestly it would be a relief. It doesn't really matter how I look, me feeling good with my looks is my only real goal. And I think it would actually be pretty cool if I could be confident and feel beautiful with my flat chest and facial hair, etc, as a woman. Like that would be pretty striking. But alas... one can dream.

But as for "guy self" that I kinda was playing out as a trans guy, where'd he go? He's still around, but not as a separate aspect of me. He's integrated as a part of the whole me. He's some of my masculine aspects. He's my mood when I feel like I look like a drag queen but but like a hot drag queen. He's the aggressor in me when I shoot zombies in world of warcraft. He's in the anger I can't contain when I lose my temper at something stupid. He's the reason I hate crying in front of other people. He's in my walk when I swag instead of swinging my hips, and he's in it when I do both at the same time and try to imitate how night elf females walk in world of warcraft, cause it just looks so cool.

He's still around, but he's part of my womanhood, as a sharper spice to it. It's important to me that I don't suppress that aspect of myself as I previously did with my femaleness. He is and always will be an important part of me, cause he protected me when I was too scared and not yet ready to embrace my womanhood. I need to honour both of them and give both space to exist within me, and they can absolutely co-exist as one whole person and as one, binary female gender.

I don't need to look like him to carry him with me. He had his time, and all of me is at peace with that. So he's still around but integrated and part of a more whole "me" now. I learned that my gender actually had nothing to do with who I am as a person. I used to be certain I must have had a male brain, but apparently it's just a predominantly masculine female brain. How do you tell the difference? Could you even, if dysphoria was the only difference?

(I'm just giving you my perspective according to my experiences, not trying to push my beliefs or anything.)
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Linde on December 28, 2018, 09:46:20 pm
I would not take such a pill, because it would not do me any good anyway.  I never had a lot of dysphoria, because I always had this semi female, free of hair and other male indicators, body for ever.
As long as I am able to work off the dysphoria causing things of me one at a time, I am pretty muh OK.
I was concerned about the size of my feet, and that I will never be able to walk on heels. But now that I found all kinds of pretty shoes that will fit me, and that i discovered that I can walk on up to 4" high heels very comfortably and for hours in a row, this dysphoria has vanished into this air!
My fingers were another source of dysphoria.  Now I had a professionally done manicure, and those claws don't actually look not all that bad!
Left as sources of discomfort are my hair and my speech pattern.  I know that my hair will grow about 1/2 " a month, and as long as I am patient enough, I will have nice long hair one day.  I am lucky that I have no hair loss or a receding hairline, just the length bothers me.  And I have to work on that feminizing of my speech pattern!

No pill in the world would take those tasks away from me, and I want to keep the challenge going, to keep me on track in becoming a woman, and reclaim my body!
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Allison S on December 29, 2018, 12:12:52 am
I've always tried taking the easy route. If it's 100% guaranteed to rid me of dysphoria forever then yeah, I would take it. For me it's a matter of "if the shoe fits, wear it" as far as being trans. I just could never be a guy and I could never get myself to try. I've described myself as other gender before so if someone doesn't see me as a woman, than at least don't see me as a guy...

Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Chloe on December 29, 2018, 07:07:06 am
Quote from: short answer
If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?

lol If insurance premiums, therapy/doctor visits prescription etc etc REQUIRED . . .
Definitely NOT!

Side 'dumb q": Unlike estrogen would you consider testosterone a "performance-based drug"?
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Daisy Jane on December 29, 2018, 10:39:20 am
My first instinct was to say yes, but then I remembered that the person I was before transitioning was a mask. I worked really hard to create the illusion that I was like the other boys. Letting go of that illusion helped me grow as a person.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Linde on December 29, 2018, 11:49:42 am
My first instinct was to say yes, but then I remembered that the person I was before transitioning was a mask. I worked really hard to create the illusion that I was like the other boys. Letting go of that illusion helped me grow as a person.
I say that I was an almost perfect cross dresser all those years, until I discovered who I am in reality!
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Devlyn on December 29, 2018, 11:55:01 am
I always said that I didn't have dysphoria, I just wanted a bit of feminization. Then someone pointed out that that is dysphoria in its purest sense. So no, I wouldn't take the pill.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Maid Marion on December 29, 2018, 12:04:57 pm
Same here.  No dysphoria here.  Though if I could have Star Wars Jedi like powers to change weak minds around me, well that would be something different entirely!   ;D
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Linde on December 29, 2018, 12:16:59 pm
Same here.  No dysphoria here. 
I don't think I have "real" dysphoria either, just that little bit with my still short hair and my voice, but time will take care of it.  On the other hand, my psychologist feels that I am stuffed with dysphoria up to the very top.  She feels that one of the big dysphorias of mine is the constant mourning for my body that I feel I lost when it was altered after my birth.  And she thinks my gender fluency is also part of my dysphoria, because I am afraid to give up the roll I learned so well over the years.
I don't see it as dysphoria, it is just part of my life.  But then again, how would one specify dysphoria?
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Astxl on January 26, 2019, 04:35:41 pm
It already exists, and it's called hormone replacement therapy, PERIOD.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Athenajacob on January 28, 2019, 12:51:08 am
Yes.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Joanne ONeal on January 28, 2019, 10:26:18 am
Yes, I started low dose E patches 4 weeks ago. Dysphoria gone! 
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: ChrissyRyan on January 28, 2019, 10:31:01 am
No, not if you mean a pill to make me cis instead of mtf.

Chrissy
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Linde on January 28, 2019, 10:56:11 am
No, not if you mean a pill to make me cis instead of mtf.

Chrissy
How about making you cis female?  With all the parts required?
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: ChrissyRyan on January 28, 2019, 11:33:48 am
How about making you cis female?  With all the parts required?


I would take that one - not because of internal transphobia, but because of less hassle.

Chrissy
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Linde on January 28, 2019, 12:37:45 pm

I would take that one - not because of internal transphobia, but because of less hassle.

Chrissy
Yes, it would safe some surgeries, but it comes with hot flashes!  You can't win them all!
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: ChrissyRyan on January 28, 2019, 12:40:10 pm
Yes, it would safe some surgeries, but it comes with hot flashes!  You can't win them all!

I will find that to be acceptable.

Chrissy
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Faith on January 28, 2019, 12:43:35 pm
I've skimmed this topic a few times. Taking the subject to mean that I'm still transgender, still a woman with a male body .. No, I would not want the pill.

Yes the stresses would be alleviated, lots or all of the depression gone .. however .. without the dysphoria I'd still be him, I'd not push myself to resolve the conflict since there isn't one.

I chose me
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: NatalieRene on February 03, 2019, 09:54:10 am
How about making you cis female?  With all the parts required?
I would take that pill because my mind is female but I would have to see this demonstrated first before taking it to make sure it wasn’t a trick.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Jen61 on February 03, 2019, 10:05:25 am
Yes

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Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Linde on February 03, 2019, 11:04:58 am
I would take that pill because my mind is female but I would have to see this demonstrated first before taking it to make sure it wasn’t a trick.
I would take it first, and you could watch me!   I am so sick and tired of not knowing who I am!
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: NatalieRene on February 03, 2019, 11:15:13 am
I would take it first, and you could watch me!   I am so sick and tired of not knowing who I am!
Ok but if you walk off burp talking about sports and doing chest bumps I’m out.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Linde on February 03, 2019, 12:20:30 pm
Ok but if you walk off burp talking about sports and doing chest bumps I’m out.
I hope not, because if I still would have boobs, it would hurt to much pounding them!
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Michelle_P on February 03, 2019, 12:58:49 pm
A. If the pill reconstructed my body to match my brain, that is, it granted me a fully female body, I would take it of course.

B. If the pill reconstructed my brain to match my original body, I am sure that:
1) The pill would be fully approved by the Western European cultural patriarchy and religious groups
2) There is a fair chance it would be mandatory in this country
3) It would be suicide, effectively death of personality, wiping my mind and all that I am in favor of some construct that would make others slightly less uncomfortable with me.

As it stands, I took Option A, a pill and treatment to bring my body into alignment with my brain.  Alas, not a single pill, but years of pills, several surgeries, and considerable physical conditioning  and rehab efforts were needed.  It does work, though.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Anne Blake on February 03, 2019, 04:15:26 pm
It has taken me all my life to find out who I am and to find joy in knowing myself. To give that up seems very very wrong and painful. For some reason it brings to mind the book, "Flowers for Algernon". Not a path that I would ever want to travel.

Tia Anne
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Charlie Nicki on February 03, 2019, 09:54:52 pm
I would.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Margarine on February 04, 2019, 01:18:31 am
If only it included time travel... A bit late for it now. I finally like me!
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Violets on February 04, 2019, 01:42:37 am
Yes, I'd take it. It would certainly make for a less complicated life.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: DawnOday on February 04, 2019, 12:20:30 pm
If it were available when I was married to my first wife forty three years ago. But I have lived through it until I couldn't anymore. If it had failed and sex change was more common when I was young. I would have preferred all the alterations.  But if the pill were available and could save my marriage to the love of my life. Yes. 
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Anastasia on February 23, 2019, 12:18:25 am
I would definitely take that pill. There is too much inner turmoil and uncertainty about being MTF. I am not transitioning and have plans not to, but there is still a part of me that is convinced that I would be my true self if I did transition. I would take the pill to rid my psyche of that part of me that that I find so troublesome. I could then learn how to be the confident man, husband and father that I feel I could be. I am pleased with the core of who I am, but the dysphoria is a highly disruptive and a non-productive part of me.

I would not take the pill. I love the person I am, and I have no idea of how much of the feminine aspects of my personality contribute to the overall person I am and I wouldn't want to risk losing myself. My wife and children love me and want me to contribute to their lives. Despite all of my inner issues, they love me for who I am now, MTF, and I love that. I would not take the pill.

I would like to give society a pill that allows them to accept me for who and what I am. If I choose to be "all male" one day, watching a football game while sitting on the tailgate of of a truck, drinking beer on a Saturday afternoon, then go out for a romantic evening with my wife while we wear complimentary dresses, society would be accepting of that.

I would, in all likely hood, fail to decide.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Ann W on February 23, 2019, 01:02:59 am
It has taken me all my life to find out who I am and to find joy in knowing myself. To give that up seems very very wrong and painful.

This is me, too. I would never take that pill. I spent a lifetime only half-alive. I didn't know what joy was, until I came out to myself. Besides, it seems to me that dysphoria is only a symptom, not the real problem. Sometimes a problem is so painful that addressing the symptom is all you can do; but I hope I am never faced with that choice. I can't imagine denying who I am, no matter what the cost.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Allie Jayne on February 23, 2019, 03:40:17 am
For myself, no. For the people around me, so they would never have to feel pain, embarrassment, awkwardness and confusion I am putting them through, yes. Being trans has severely limited my career, cost me my business, the mother of my children, and recently, my health. I'm hoping it won't cost me my current wife or family members as I transition. I'm 65, so losing my job isn't critical, but I do love the people I work with. I'm also a well known member of a community group which is likely I will have to leave. So while I probably wouldn't like the all male person the pill would make me, the benefits to all around me would be hard to deny.

Allie
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: AnneK on February 23, 2019, 07:43:38 am
Sure I would.  In fact, I'm seeing an endocrinologist soon to get the prescription for HRT.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Denise on February 23, 2019, 08:12:56 am
Actually I would much rather give those around me who cared negatively that I transitioned a chill-pill or acceptance pill.

I only need one or two please.  It would help if it would switch their sexual orientation too.

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Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Virelai on February 23, 2019, 04:03:24 pm
So you mean, like, my mind would shift to being male? While I'm sure a lot of the mental pain I deal with would be gone, I would not be myself anymore, so I decline 100%.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Tribble on March 16, 2019, 11:55:29 am
Yes, yes, and YES!

I've dreamed of such a pill from the first time I heard of the thought-concept a couple of decades ago.  Even after my decade-and-a-half of living full time, marrying the man I loved (and still do, but situations change) and devoting so much time to self-exploration, yes, in a heartbeat, a New York minute.

However, if a pill were available for me to wake up in a fully natural female body with feminine forms and chromosomes and the ability to have children and a mind at ease enough that I could deal with life, I would prefer that drug rather than the previous pill.

My answer vs. other trans people's answers is just another reason for my questioning of my own identity, just one more reason I find myself struggling to figure out what I really am, the reason I'm just about to give up on my third purge and re-transition...to what, I'm not sure.

I have strong dysphoria and dysmorphia and I hate both.  That hatred has developed over the years to the point that I really, truly do hate myself and have tried to do something about it in the past, leaving me with some measure of brain damage.

I respect that others feel differently.  I wish I could.

As Scrooge McDuck once said, "Work smarter, not harder."  I see transition and trying to gain the acceptance of society and myself as extremely hard work.  Many times, it's too much work for me to handle.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: F_P_M on April 04, 2019, 03:43:17 pm
I'd rather have a pill that would make me switch sex...

<_<

that'd be a way more useful pill for me.

Ultimately though? I don't think I would, because the idea of transitioning genuinely excites me. It's like a transformation, the ultimate reinventing of myself and given how often i've lamented that I hate myself and will never be anyone but the useless sack of flesh I am, this feeling of rebirth is pretty HUGE.

I don't think removing the dysphoria would magically make me not a sad sack and I don't wanna go back to that.

Of course I might change my mind in the coming months/years, but right now? I'm in the "eeeeee yay" phase

and to be honest, removing the dysphoria now isn't gonna remove the 33 years of prior gender related nonsense.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Haley Conner on April 04, 2019, 04:04:19 pm
I'd rather have a pill that cures society of telling people who they are and how they should act.  ;)
Title: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: KateR on April 05, 2019, 12:51:40 am
I'd rather have a pill that cures society of telling people who they are and how they should act.  ;)


That would be a wonderful pill indeed.

Back to the original question;

I tried the pills.  Their called antidepressants.  They didn't work. All I ever got were the side effects.

So I'm on a new patch & pill.  They're called estradiol and Spiro.  They work great.  I have peace. So no, I'm not going back.

Kate is free!   I'm not taking any pill that would bottle her back up.


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Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: jesse135 on April 10, 2019, 05:41:14 pm
Yes, life would probably be less complicated, but maybe more complicated sometimes...as I'd probably be a lesbian then instead of a straight man who passes half the time so lol....
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Gabriel_C on April 25, 2019, 09:21:35 am
Having no dysphoria means your brain matches your body. If by "removing dysphoria" you mean the pill would change my brain into accepting my body... then my answer is NO, I wouldn't take that pill.

Because that means the pill would change ME, my personality... It would change who I am. I would be a woman. And I'm not a woman. And do not wish to be one.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Bea1968 on April 25, 2019, 12:12:15 pm
A pill that would allow me to be happy with myself? Heck yea!

No more expensive and time consuming electrolysis.

No more self doubt and depression

No more visits to the therapist, yea...more time for the beach

No expensive and invasive surgeries...maybe take a cruise to the Bahamas instead...

To be happy with me is all I ever wanted to be
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Tribble on April 26, 2019, 12:14:36 am
A pill that would allow me to be happy with myself? Heck yea!

No more expensive and time consuming electrolysis.

No more self doubt and depression

No more visits to the therapist, yea...more time for the beach

No expensive and invasive surgeries...maybe take a cruise to the Bahamas instead...

To be happy with me is all I ever wanted to be

I think I've read someone else in this thread say similar other than me, but I completely agree.

To be comfortable seeing myself in a mirror after getting out of my shower without needing to spend tens of thousands of dollars.

To have my first marriage continue to this day.

Ifs and buts... :(
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: RetroTS on April 28, 2019, 07:19:45 pm
I've given this a bit of thought over the weekend.

For as much as I hate my gender issues, and the things its cost me over the years, I would have to say no.

A lot of good has come out of it; I was able to come out of the closet and not feel guilty about being in love with another man, I've got to experience things from both sides of the gender spectrum.  It can be a massive pain to have two sets of clothes.

I've developed rock solid relationships with people including one whose kids refer to me as Aunt. As a matter of fact the daughter of my friend just turned 16 and she wanted me to be one of the first people to show me her prom dress.. Yes, I cried as I was so happy for her.

I've also am good friends with a trans man in which we have a long running gag. Our conversations usually start like this:

"Hi, can I have your boobs?"

"Absolutely.  I hate these @#$%@ things, and I want them gone."

"Great, I'll be 'round this evening "

"You're a lifesaver"

And we both howl with laughter. It's those moments I cherish. I feel that I understand things from both genders. 

For all of the hassle, loneliness, the fear, the potential of it upending my life at a moments notice , I wouldn't trade it for anything...
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Tribble on April 28, 2019, 07:29:10 pm
Don't get me wrong, there are a ton of great benefits that come with transitioning, but to me, with my own body image and my own situation, I would still happily take that pill that would allow me to be comfortable in my own skin.  I would like to think that I'd still be an ally for LGBT people and remain the empathic and compassionate person I've always been.

As Buttigieg says, I would cut this part of myself out with a knife if it were possible.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Janes Groove on April 28, 2019, 11:28:22 pm
As Buttigieg says, I would cut this part of myself out with a knife if it were possible.

I can't help but note that that's taking that quote a little out of context.  He said that applied to the way he USED to think. Back when he was in the closet.  Back when he was struggling to find a place for himself as an authentic, whole person in the world.

He also said that fortunately there was no knife.  That embracing his true self led him closer to God and led him to a happy marriage with his husband.  He describes those feelings as being a dark part of his past before he came out of the closet. He said that being in the closet was like being at war with yourself and with your creator.

Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Tribble on April 29, 2019, 01:28:29 pm
I can't help but note that that's taking that quote a little out of context.  He said that applied to the way he USED to think. Back when he was in the closet.  Back when he was struggling to find a place for himself as an authentic, whole person in the world.

He also said that fortunately there was no knife.  That embracing his true self led him closer to God and led him to a happy marriage with his husband.  He describes those feelings as being a dark part of his past before he came out of the closet. He said that being in the closet was like being at war with yourself and with your creator.



You are right, of course, and he was applying that statement to before he was out, however, while I have a "tolerant" support circle, they're not exactly the most encouraging and for me, life had not gotten any easier.

My feelings about myself are getting better, especially after finding a local support and advocacy group that I find exceptionally welcoming, as opposed to the one I found when I first transitioned that caused even more internal issues for myself, so there's a chance I might change my mind, but at this point in time, I would rather be who the people around me wished I was rather than who I really am.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Janes Groove on April 29, 2019, 09:19:20 pm
I'm glad things are getting better.

I predict you WILL change your mind.  I think you are going thru the 5 stages of grief.  Eventually you will get to acceptance.  A world of light and many good things await you.  It's all a gift.

Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Tribble on April 29, 2019, 11:58:03 pm
I'm glad things are getting better.

I predict you WILL change your mind.  I think you are going thru the 5 stages of grief.  Eventually you will get to acceptance.  A world of light and many good things await you.  It's all a gift.



With the support of the people around me now, I suspect you may just be right. :)

I have a good feeling my cycle of transitioning and detransitioning is coming to an end.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: NancyBalik on May 29, 2019, 07:07:19 am
YES. — My gender dysphoria has been the biggest struggle in my marriage. Unfortunately, I know that my partner’s love for me is qualified with “except for ....” On bad days my love for myself is qualified with the same exception. Life would be simpler if I was satisfied being a man rather than feeling this constant longing to be someone else. Nancy
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Ricki Wright on May 29, 2019, 09:51:48 am
Nope. Keep your red and blue pills.

Since I got reunited with myself, I am whole, I am happier, and I am a much better person as a trans women than I EVER hoped to be as a person trying to be cis male. Read my story below for the full version. I have been told it was funny and heartbreaking at the same time.

Do I have days with doubts? Rarely, but they happen sometimes. Thank goodness for therapists! She reminded me that trans Trenders do not have the feelings I do week over week, and rarely do HRT for longer than a few weeks, or multiple sessions with an electrologist.

I like the whole me more than the offer to be a completely ignorant old me. Eventually I will rearrange parts I have into the parts I want and grow the rest. In 30 years passing won't be a thing because old people of both sexes are all just a pile of wrinkles laughing at what young people think is important.

Side note: check youtube for the 99 year old transgender war veteran if you have not seen it. There is a woman who took one for the team and still managed to live the rest of her life as herself. We all should be so lucky.

-----------------------------Line in Sand----------------------------------

Hugs!

Ricki
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Zephyrion on June 09, 2019, 02:46:44 pm
Generally speaking, no. I wouldn't have to deal with transphobia anymore and I would be far more accepted in society, but that would erase a huge chunk of my identity. The confidence I gathered from transitioning is unbelievable. I still have low confidence, but it's a huge improvement from what I was before. I feel like I can actually be myself without forcing myself in cisnormativity. I can be the guy I was meant to be and not the girl everyone wants me to be.

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Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: ChrissyRyan on July 01, 2019, 03:12:46 pm
No.  Excluding prescribed estrogen mtf HRT medicine of course.  :)


Chrissy
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Ricki Wright on July 02, 2019, 03:59:39 am
Wait. What? A pill that would make me a CIS girl and make my gender dysphoria disappear forever?!?!?!


SIGN ME UP!!! I'LL TAKE 2 PLEASE! I know a girl who wants one as well!


Hugs!

Ricki
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: PurpleWolf on August 10, 2019, 04:44:40 am
Interesting question!

Before I would have absolutely said NO. I felt being masculine (and a trans guy) was inherently 'me' and what made myself myself. Just the slightest hint at the direction that I could be something else (happy being a girl, more fem, etc.) caused me anger and dysphoria. Makes a lot of sense bcos a lot of my dysphoria WAS caused by people trying to convince me I'm something I am not.

Then, last fall, my dysphoria disappeared suddenly... with a new relationship. I realized I'm a butch woman: happy being in this female body (and not wanting to be or transition to male) but still the same person pretty much. Only the perception changed. So yeah I guess I found my magic pill then......
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: lonewolf on August 15, 2019, 02:05:51 pm
i'd only take the pill if i could OD on it
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Angela H on August 19, 2019, 12:17:21 am
I honestly don't know if I would take that pill at this point.

Before I started transitioning I would have said that I wouldn't take the pill because I saw the girl me as the "real" me that I'd be killing off so I could live up to what my family wanted me to be. I didn't want that. I wanted to be true to myself.

Then after I started transitioning I would have said hell no to the pill since I felt like I was making positive changes and I no longer needed anything like that to help with gender dysphoria. At the time I felt like I had found the "solution" and I was going to be just fine...

But now I'm not sure anymore. I no longer see that a guy version of myself wouldn't be the true me. And I undoubtedly would have a better life if I could have taken such a pill before I decided to transition (or better yet 25 years ago before everything in my life starting going to hell), but now after everything I've done to transition taking the pill would seem like a huge waste...

I guess I'd take the pill today if someone offered it to me. I'd probably need to detransition and get my breasts removed. Sheesh, that sounds awful.
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: NatalieRene on September 05, 2019, 10:08:22 am
To quote Kirk from star trek.

Quote from: Kirk
Damn it Bones, you're a doctor. You know that pain and guilt can't be taken away with the wave of a magic wand. They're the things we carry with us, the things that make us who we are. If we lose them, we lose ourselves. [to Sybok] I don't want my pain taken away! I need my pain!
Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: WannaBgirl2 on October 10, 2019, 09:24:49 pm
This is more a philosophical question than a reality-based one but I curious how other women here would answer. When I've talked to my therapist and others who are cisgender I've told them that if somehow a pill came out that would remove dysphoria and there would be no harmful side effects, I doubt I would take it.

While I haven't transitioned (and don't expect to) and my dysphoria continues to be a great cause of distress, I feel as if I would be "killing off" a part of myself that I love. I don't quite have the words to explain this, and with the words I do have it may sound as if I'm talking multiple personality disorder, but Becky is such a part of who I am that to see her disappear, even if it provided welcome relief from my anguish, is not something I would be ready to do.

Fortunately, my dysphoria has never reached a crisis state where I've seriously contemplated suicide, and if I had I suppose my answer would change.

Getting a little deep on a rainy afternoon in New Jersey.

Becky
I would take it in a heartbeat!!!! I think that once I found and accepted myself..... I would be able to embrace my femininity, confidently!!!! Sign me up for the test group please!!! LOL


Sent from my Moto Z (2) using Tapatalk

Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: WannaBgirl2 on October 10, 2019, 09:31:58 pm
There is a pill, called estradiol.  I’ve been on it for two and a half years and my suicidal ideation has been gone ever since.

It’s not perfect but I think its AMAZING! Better than the antidepressants I was taking before.



Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Shawnna, could you please let me know more about the side effects of the estradiol? Breasts, weight shift, mood swings, emotional stuff....how quickly things happened,  subtle or drastic.... I'm thinking if I can get my head cleared.... I can focus on who and what I am.... Thanks luv!!!!

Sent from my Moto Z (2) using Tapatalk

Title: Re: If there were a pill available to remove dysphoria would you take it?
Post by: Dena on October 10, 2019, 10:24:27 pm
Shawnna, could you please let me know more about the side effects of the estradiol? Breasts, weight shift, mood swings, emotional stuff....how quickly things happened,  subtle or drastic.... I'm thinking if I can get my head cleared.... I can focus on who and what I am.... Thanks luv!!!!

Sent from my Moto Z (2) using Tapatalk
It seems that the testosterone blocker is responsible for most of the improvement. Estradiol does help and that's why most people tend to go low dosage at least at first. The following links might be helpful.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,130268.0.html
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,207785.0.html
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,209589.0.html