Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Non-Transitioning and Detransitioning => Topic started by: Erin1.618 on December 22, 2018, 01:27:20 pm

Title: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Erin1.618 on December 22, 2018, 01:27:20 pm
Is anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
I'm curious if it can be done. I'd love feed back on a couple specifics.

-how long have you been on hrt and not transitioned

-has it helped your personal acceptance of being trans?

-is it easy to hide?

-have the urges to full transition become stronger.

About me. Currently presenting as a masculine Male aka liar. I Came out as gay/bi and only got support but I still dont feel right.
I cant relate to myself being a man in a relationship with a man. I constantly wish I was a women in more aspects of life then just dating but more so when I think about being in a relationship with a man. I work military contracts and get paid very well. My fears are and for good reason ( I've heard people talk about the subject of <transgender> with hate) that if I come out I will lose my job. I'm currently trying to build another business so I dont depend on them but that will take time. I am 30 and time isnt what I feel I have. The dysphoria is at an all time high ( came in waves throughout my life). I think it's time I at least see if hrt will make me feel normal and more accepting of my sexuality and the role I want in life/relationship. Which in my head i feel like a bi women but in a man's body which makes me feel out of place in a relationship. Anyway sorry for rambling but i needed to write these feelings somewhere. Back to my original point of the post. I want to know if being on hrt but not transitioning can be done, and how hard is it to juggle. P.s please dont try to diagnose me via this short post I'm working with a professional psychiatrist for that.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: GordonG on December 22, 2018, 01:45:08 pm
Raises hand!
Me. I'm on HRT low dose and am not transitioning.  And I really don't want to. That was not my goal. I've always been more of a feminine guy.  I sometimes have thought that I should have been born female. Though I've never experienced gender dysphoria like some members here have.

I've always had a battle at keeping my sex drive in check and have failed miserably several times in life. Including while being married. My initial goal was to reduce that drive, so I started taking Spiro only. I liked what it did in that department, but didn't like some of the side effects. So I started researching adding a little E to the mix. I read about people who did likewise but not transitioning. The E helped with the side effects and I like being on it mentally. It is a whole different world than what I had the previous 50 years or so. I'm not expecting much breast growth as my mom had small breasts and as I'm older. But they have started. Buds are there. I'll deal with it for the effects that I do like. YMMV.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: AnneK on December 22, 2018, 01:47:18 pm
I haven't started HRT yet (still waiting on endocrinologist), but I thought I'd try it without transitioning.  I understand others have.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Erin1.618 on December 22, 2018, 02:11:13 pm
GordonG I got a question!

Thanks for such a quick reply! I'm not sure how to use the quote button just yet but my do you have any links to the articles of the people that went on hrt but didn't transition?

Thank you!
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: KathyLauren on December 22, 2018, 02:27:26 pm
Hi, Erin!

Welcome to Susan's Place.

I probably don't qualify to answer your question, since I am transitioning.  I know there are other people who are able to not transition, so it can be done.  You'll have to try it to see if it works for you.

If the issue is an unaccepting employer, tackling that issue may be the thing to do. 

Dysphoria tends not to go away, so not transitioning means learning to be comfortable with it.  If you are not already seeing a therapist about this, I would highly recommend it.

Please feel free to stop by the Introductions forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,8.0.html) to tell the members about yourself.  Here is some information that we like to share with new members:

Things that you should read

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Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Dena on December 22, 2018, 03:52:53 pm
Welcome to Susan's Place. I think the following links might be what your looking for.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,130268.0.html
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,209589.0.html
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,207785.0.html
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Kirsteneklund7 on December 22, 2018, 06:02:42 pm
Is anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
I'm curious if it can be done. I'd love feed back on a couple specifics.

-how long have you been on hrt and not transitioned

-has it helped your personal acceptance of being trans?

-is it easy to hide?

-have the urges to full transition become stronger.

About me. Currently presenting as a masculine Male aka liar. I Came out as gay/bi and only got support but I still dont feel right.
I cant relate to myself being a man in a relationship with a man. I constantly wish I was a women in more aspects of life then just dating but more so when I think about being in a relationship with a man. I work military contracts and get paid very well. My fears are and for good reason ( I've heard people talk about the subject of <transgender> with hate) that if I come out I will lose my job. I'm currently trying to build another business so I dont depend on them but that will take time. I am 30 and time isnt what I feel I have. The dysphoria is at an all time high ( came in waves throughout my life). I think it's time I at least see if hrt will make me feel normal and more accepting of my sexuality and the role I want in life/relationship. Which in my head i feel like a bi women but in a man's body which makes me feel out of place in a relationship. Anyway sorry for rambling but i needed to write these feelings somewhere. Back to my original point of the post. I want to know if being on hrt but not transitioning can be done, and how hard is it to juggle. P.s please dont try to diagnose me via this short post I'm working with a professional psychiatrist for that.
Hi Erin,
            I started HRT in 2015. I still havent transitioned. I run on full dose and my life is better as a result. I am 49 years old now.
 Work & family commitments stop me pushing the female envelope but Im not complaining.
 I have a b-cup and wear a bra day to day- this does get noticed.
 On the whole I present male at work and in public. At home I prefer womens clothes.
 I have a masculine face and figure although that is changing a bit.
 People have always considered me a masculine, gung-ho sort of guy but that is changing too.

 Please feel free to ask any questions. I feel like I could live this way indefinately but suspect dysphoria will increase down the track. I am prepared to transition later if necessary.

  Kind regards, Kirsten.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: AnonyMs on December 22, 2018, 06:58:39 pm
I've done it 10 years, the first half on low dose hrt. Hrt helps mentally, but in the longer term it's not enough. It has allowed me to delay the need to transition. I've seen someone on another forum who has not only been on hrt, but also had srs and ffs and still not socially transitioned.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Allison S on December 22, 2018, 07:27:21 pm
I started hrt at 27 and changes started happening pretty fast. My dosages went up every doctor visit then by 4-5 months I pushed for max dose estrogen. Changes have been pretty steady now that I'm almost 15 months.  I think even on a low dose, depending on your age, genetics and how your body will react to hrt, it may or may not be noticeable.

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Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Joanne ONeal on December 22, 2018, 07:50:11 pm
Erin,

I 've been married 45 and mt wife understands what it means to me to be Trans. I am 66 years old, 7 grandchildren and a extended family and friends that do not know. I just started Spiro and E patches and I look forward to the emotional changes, and excited about the physical changes that may be coming. I have kept this secret far too long. I am lucky to have survived the pain and the feeling of being "different" I am now comfortable with myself when I'm out as Joanne. However, I do not plan on transitioning at this time, but who know what the future will bring.Good luck!! Keep us posted.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: nadia1971 on January 06, 2019, 08:23:22 pm
This feels like the most likely path forward for me, as well.  I'm in my late forties and 25 years into a teaching career.  Years of hiding who I am and fearing exposure have come to an end as I poke my toes out of the closet door.  I can't imagine transitioning prior to retiring.  My district has generally done the right thing for our trans kids, but I don't necessarily trust our community to be accepting of a trans teacher.  Gradual HRT without surgery seems the best way to become who I truly am without risking burning the life I've built to the ground.  My therapist mentioned having other clients who go as far as to be fully feminine at home and wearing a binder and presenting male at work.  I've got two kids to still put through college, and in my state it's still fully legal to discriminate against people for their sexuality or gender expression, so it's going to be a few more years before that closet door opens. 

I've read a few interesting threads on HRT around this forum that have answered a lot of questions about what HRT without full transition is like.  Keep poking around.  There's a lot of good information, and I've only just begun to scratch the surface myself.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: BlueJaye on January 08, 2019, 08:18:27 pm
I’m on HRT, and though I really do desire to transition, I am afraid the road will be very long and slow.

My wife was very supportive at first, but then it became apparent she really didn’t understand what my goals were. We had discussions at first about what HRT would do to my body, and she wasn’t really too worried about it. But just last week she started asking questions like, “How do you plan on hiding your boobs when they get bigger?”, “Aren’t you worried that men’s clothing won’t fit right anymore?”, and stuff like that.

This is when things got difficult. She was thinking I was simply going to have a feminine body, but continue living as a man and just hide it. I made it clear that I wasn’t doing this just create yet another thing in my life to hide and be ashamed of. I wanted to live as the woman I am, body and clothing included. Super not cool with her. After 9 months of discussing HRT prior to starting, she had entirely missed what I had been trying to tell her.

Neither of us wants the marriage to end, but she is firm that she does not want to see me dressed as a woman or living as a woman.

We are at a deadlock on the issue and I have a feeling that I may need to keep my HRT dosage low for at least a couple of years while we work through all of this. The good thing is that I am experiencing great relief from gender dysphoria even on the low doses of spiro and estradiol that I was started on. The bad news is the HRT doesn’t help with everything. I still have issues with genitals and other anatomical features and my voice. I still have to deal with those things every day. I also have the continual disappointment of knowing that full transition is out of reach at least for the short term.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Kirsteneklund7 on January 08, 2019, 09:19:03 pm
Hi BlueJaye,
                     Your life is similar to mine. Im on full dose HRT - have b-cup breasts and I present as a man everday for work.
 I found in the first 12 months of HRT my wife had trouble coming to grips with my feminising body. Now she is used to my appearance.
 I believe going steady and talking bit by bit helps.
 I cant deny that allowing my femininity to exist has produced a negative gut reaction in my wife.I dont blame her for that- it is simply the way she is.
 The HRT is a potent dysphoria treatment for me - even putting up with the male equipment is possible now where before it wasnt.
 I know you find life without HRT much tougher.
 Wishing you the best with it all,
 Kirsten.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: BlueJaye on January 08, 2019, 10:44:37 pm
Hi BlueJaye,
                     Your life is similar to mine. Im on full dose HRT - have b-cup breasts and I present as a man everday for work.
 I found in the first 12 months of HRT my wife had trouble coming to grips with my feminising body. Now she is used to my appearance.
 I believe going steady and talking bit by bit helps.
 I cant deny that allowing my femininity to exist has produced a negative gut reaction in my wife.I dont blame her for that- it is simply the way she is.
 The HRT is a potent dysphoria treatment for me - even putting up with the male equipment is possible now where before it wasnt.
 I know you find life without HRT much tougher.
 Wishing you the best with it all,
 Kirsten.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

I feel like I am hijacking the thread, but I do want to ask you about concealing your breasts when presenting as male. I went back on HRT on December 15th and already have noticed some growth. I have always had gynocomastia since puberty and now I’m getting serious looking boobs. I’m certainly an A cup at least.

While I am happy and a bit excited to see that my body reacts so positively to estrogen, the reality that I will probably need to present as male for quite a while is kind of intimidating. I think it’s going to get difficult quickly.

What are some tips you would offer for not drawing attention, especially with the breasts?
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Kirsteneklund7 on January 08, 2019, 11:48:48 pm
Not drawing attention - try different sports bras. I have a Nike one that holds things fairly flat. Also a mens compression vest can be good for running & hiding breasts. I find a compression vest too hot in the tropics where I live.
 B- cups can be hidden - any bigger is difficult.
 At work these days I wear a fairly standard 40 B t-shirt bra under my workshirt.

 People know I have breasts and now I feel comfortable just telling it like it is.

 My humble advice is you will get comfortable having breasts and eventually you wont care so much if they show a bit. Keeping others comfortable is the trick I think.
         Kirsten.

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Title: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Claire on January 28, 2019, 08:58:06 am
I’m friends with a few trans men and they used binders until they had top surgery. They seemed to work well for them. I know they even went to the gym.


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Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Karen on January 29, 2019, 05:39:35 pm
Hi Erin,
            I started HRT in 2015. I still havent transitioned. I run on full dose and my life is better as a result. I am 49 years old now.
 Work & family commitments stop me pushing the female envelope but Im not complaining.
 I have a b-cup and wear a bra day to day- this does get noticed.
 On the whole I present male at work and in public. At home I prefer womens clothes.
 I have a masculine face and figure although that is changing a bit.
 People have always considered me a masculine, gung-ho sort of guy but that is changing too.

 Please feel free to ask any questions. I feel like I could live this way indefinately but suspect dysphoria will increase down the track. I am prepared to transition later if necessary.

  Kind regards, Kirsten.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

This is really helpful to me!

Tell me about the emotional impacts of her?   

I am on cyrproterone alone and am thinking of adding estrogen, but not come out. 

Thanks

Karen
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Kirsteneklund7 on February 05, 2019, 05:56:26 am
This is really helpful to me!

Tell me about the emotional impacts of her?   

I am on cyrproterone alone and am thinking of adding estrogen, but not come out. 

Thanks

Karen
Sorry about my slow reply Karen.

 I personally found cyproterone alone brought peace and reduced dysphoria.When I added estrogen it added some light euphoria along with smiling more, more chatty and sociable in a nutshell uplifting!.

 Can you clarify the "emotional aspects of her" do you mean the feminine personality ?

 I did have various emotional " adventures "  in the first 12 months of HRT. I would gladly pass on what that was like.

 Kind regards, Kirsten.


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Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Karen on February 05, 2019, 07:29:17 pm
Thanks. 

I meant wanting to understand and experience the emotional aspects of estrogen / hrt.   

I started estrogen yesterday...new life begins. 

Karen
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: AJ on February 06, 2019, 09:05:34 am
I am 65 and not transitioning fully.
Just growing my hair a few inches and keeping a nicely trimmed beard.
My daughter-in-law is a hairdresser and she has been very helpful.
I've been on HRT for 14 months and had my orchie three weeks ago to get away from spiro.
My breasts are nice (Measure 38C) but I would like them to be just a little bigger.
I expect some more fat distribution will happen now after the orchie but I haven’t had much of that in the 14 months.
I have always been different and now I am a little bit more different with a rounder face and having lost 42 pounds.
At 5' 10" my ideal weight should be 157 and I am at 170 so I plan on losing 10-13 more pounds.
Under my clothes I am looking very female but that is for my wife and I only to see.
I am out to my family and that has gone well, and my wife and I seem to be closer than ever after 31 years of marriage.
I know that I am one of the lucky ones…
AJ
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: AnneK on February 06, 2019, 10:31:24 am
I am 65 and not transitioning fully.
Just growing my hair a few inches and keeping a nicely trimmed beard.
My daughter-in-law is a hairdresser and she has been very helpful.
I've been on HRT for 14 months and had my orchie three weeks ago to get away from spiro.
My breasts are nice (Measure 38C) but I would like them to be just a little bigger.

I'm also 65, but haven't started HRT yet, though I have an appointment booked with an endocrinologist.  I'm glad to see you're a 38C, as I had worries about how much I'd grow at my age.  I am already a 38A though.

You certainly are one of the lucky ones, with your family.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Kirsteneklund7 on February 06, 2019, 10:16:45 pm
Thanks. 

I meant wanting to understand and experience the emotional aspects of estrogen / hrt.   

I started estrogen yesterday...new life begins. 

Karen
Please share what it is like as you go. I found it was like feeling things in 3D for the first time. I also binged on poetry and found much of it packed a whallop!

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Chloe on February 07, 2019, 03:22:02 am
I feel like I am hijacking the thread, but I do want to ask you about concealing your breasts when presenting as male.

         @BlueJaye not a highjack at all kinda the whole point isn't it? As long as you practice good taste and do not deliberately draw attention to yourself then absolutely nobody is going to care or call you out, take notice. Avoid tee-shirts, tight sweaters, thin material shirts (where a bra might obviously show through) and people will eventually get the idea that "something is up with you" but, hopefully by that time, other body congruencies would have also kicked in as well.
         Nice head but no body hair (Casodex helps), clean shaven, trimmed nails can be small things that people can notice but, never messing with the potential embarrassment of "makeup", if ya know someone who can assist then go for it! I run every day with a tough crowd of pre-school mothers and get nothing but smiles, small chat and pleasantries . . . Self-confidence in yourself is key I much prefer to be regarded as a "girlish guy" than a "man in dress" social transition doesn't 'ave to be an instant either/or, "black and white" and people will eventually get the idea of what feels just right for you!
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: natasha on February 14, 2019, 05:39:26 am
I haven't transitioned mainly due to family, mortgage, etc..... (my wife and kids know though). Anyway, I have been on hormones for almost 10 years now and had an orchi 8 years ago. So, yes it is possible and yes it does work even with long hairs (past my shoulders now).
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: mm on February 14, 2019, 01:19:00 pm
I assume even being on hrt's for 10 yrs you still can hide your chest development.  One does what they need to do to live.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Madison02 on February 24, 2019, 09:08:32 pm
I started HRT late summer of '18. I asked my doctor for the lowest dose of Spiro & Estrogen as I don't have any plans on fully transitioning. I would say that like most here, I started HRT as a way to help cope with the dysphoric feelings I was having and I can say that it has certainly helped in that regard. Don't get me wrong, if there were no consequenses or other pitfalls, I'd be all in to transition.

After my latest follow-up appointment, I decided to bump up my dosage amounts to the next level. It just felt like it was the right move, and while the dysphoria is still present, I've felt that overall I'm better able to manage it on a daily basis. As far as the physical effects go, I've noticed that I have grown a bit up top (although I've always felt like I've had a bigger than typical chest). I'm wearing a sports bra now for things like cycling, running, and tennis. Emotions seem to be lot more accessable too....meaning I get the "feels" a lot easier than I ever have; watching tv or movie "moments" especially gets me now.

All in all, I'd agree that yes it can be done. HRT can mean a lot of things to a person. I'm still learning that what is right or what works for some people, doesn't necessarly mean it is right or will work for me.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Toni1 on February 24, 2019, 09:08:57 pm
Hi Erin,
I have been on hrt of about a year now and am not transitioning. Maybe because of the hrt I am comfortable with my transgender nature. I have found that as I move at my own pace I don't have much desire to hide my development. In answer to your last question: no I have no increased desire to transition.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Barri on March 06, 2019, 01:51:07 am
I could never transition regardless, At 6'8" 250lbs with size 16 feet, nobody will ever see me as anything but a giant he man kind of guy.
I have been on HRT for 15+ years and small B cups go relatively unnoticed as long as I wear looser T-shirts.
Have not had any male underclothes for more than 20 years, and unless it's really hot outside I always wear something soft/pretty beneath my shirts. 
Was on EV sublingual for most of those 15 or so years, got legit prescription in 2017 of EV injectable to go along with the Cypoterone, had to stop everything in Sept when The wife and i bought a house and for the 1st time ever my emotions were out of control. 
All moved in now and back on the injectable,
I can not stand the oily skin, body odor, and just general feelings of malaise from being without Estrogen coursing through my veins.
Lactating when off the HRT was kinda cool though.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: BeckyCNJ on March 11, 2019, 06:03:19 pm
Sorry for the late reply. I've been taking the lowest dose available of E for over a year now. I'm 62 years old have no plans to transition but I've enjoyed the minor changes the hormones have brought.

The biggest effect has been a tingling sensation in my breasts and some minor breast growth. I stopped for a time because my wife noticed the breast development when I was topless but it's so minor I don't think anyone would bat an eyelash seeing me without a shirt at the pool. Since I'm not taking a t-blocker the effects are probably minimized.

There was one other possible minor side effect. During my most recent prostate exam the doctor said there was a bit of a drop in my PSA number which he said might be due to the hormones.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Gabriel_C on April 20, 2019, 05:58:01 am
The title of this post called my attention... I read all the replies, but still don't understand what this is about.

Isn't HRT the hormone treatment for transitioning? How can you take hormones and not transition? Your body changes due to the hormones... right? And why would you take hormones if you don't want to transition?

I'm not criticizing. I'm genuinely trying to understand. Never heard about this before. If someone could please explain it to me...
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: AnneK on April 20, 2019, 06:02:19 am
By transition, we mean change fully from one gender to the other.  That is not only take hormones, have surgery, but also change the way you appear to the world.  As an example, I recently started taking HRT, but have no immediate plans to start dressing and going out as a woman.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: GingerVicki on April 20, 2019, 10:15:30 am
I've been on HRT MtF for almost 7 months and really have no plan to present female often in the public. It can be said that I am transitioning, but not presenting. Two very different things.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Dena on April 20, 2019, 10:49:54 am
The title of this post called my attention... I read all the replies, but still don't understand what this is about.

Isn't HRT the hormone treatment for transitioning? How can you take hormones and not transition? Your body changes due to the hormones... right? And why would you take hormones if you don't want to transition?

I'm not criticizing. I'm genuinely trying to understand. Never heard about this before. If someone could please explain it to me...
Some people for various reasons are unable to transition. It might be family, work or some other issue but they still have dysphoria. In many cases, HRT will lower testosterone levels and reduce the dysphoria they experience. It may take enough of the edge off that they can function without transitioning. We don't know how long this delaying tactic will work but it has bought members time that can be used to prepare for a transition should it be needed.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Chloe on April 20, 2019, 08:23:23 pm
. . . my wife noticed the breast development

@BeckyCNJ lol had a similar experience when a gay BFF in High School got very upset demanding "what the . . . "?

I recently started taking HRT, but have no immediate plans to start dressing and going out as a woman.
@Gabriel_C or, alternately as another example, I have been full HRT transitioning (off & on) for the last 30+ years but, like Dena says for "family reasons, I take advantage of the fact that many women dress very similar to males so I don't ever play up the "gender dress" thing (ie: as in wearing dresses or skirts).

People tell me I actually look more feminine with my hair ^up than down so have always, especially with strangers, maintained the plausible deniability of "your bad not mine"!
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Gabriel_C on April 22, 2019, 10:47:15 am
Guys, thank you so much for all the answers.

I thought that once you started hormones, you'd have to keep going... I didn't know you could go on and off of HRT like this.

I also can't transition (financial and social issues, but I hope it changes one day), so I might think about this for myself.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: JamesG on April 22, 2019, 12:22:55 pm
I thought that once you started hormones, you'd have to keep going... I didn't know you could go on and off of HRT like this.

You can, but its usually not ideal or recommended. Most people want to pass thru transition as fast as they can, producing the most hormone trait expression as possible,  and get to a stable "maintenance" level.  Transition can be... awkward.  If you go "cold turkey" or even to low-dose, your body will revert to its genetic expression, but some stuff like breast development and fat deposition are permanent, which can be a problem.

I am one of those odd-ball non-binary, non-transitioning types. I've been doing very low-dose for ~5 yrs.now. I've done it mostly for the psychological effect/benefits, but even then you do get some expression over time.  Mostly the worst of both worlds lol.  I have to work very hard to keep muscle tone up and weight off. etc. But its nice to have a girlie butt and small boobs that go unnoticed unless I want to show them.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Gabriel_C on April 22, 2019, 01:19:38 pm
You can, but its usually not ideal or recommended. Most people want to pass thru transition as fast as they can, producing the most hormone trait expression as possible,  and get to a stable "maintenance" level.  Transition can be... awkward.  If you go "cold turkey" or even to low-dose, your body will revert to its genetic expression, but some stuff like breast development and fat deposition are permanent, which can be a problem.

I am one of those odd-ball non-binary, non-transitioning types. I've been doing very low-dose for ~5 yrs.now. I've done it mostly for the psychological effect/benefits, but even then you do get some expression over time.  Mostly the worst of both worlds lol.  I have to work very hard to keep muscle tone up and weight off. etc. But its nice to have a girlie butt and small boobs that go unnoticed unless I want to show them.

Yeah, I understand why it isn't recommended... Well, honestly, I guess I wouldn't want to stop taking HRT if I started the transition, because in my case I identify as male and wouldn't want people misgendering me.

Man, I love this forum. I've learned so much in this place, after finding out that I had dysphoria. There's so many different people and so many different identities. I'm amazed, honestly.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: JamesG on April 22, 2019, 01:29:49 pm
I enjoy the confused looks on their faces when they can't decide what i am, but I'm weird like that.  >:-)

Yeah it is definitely a very educational experience.  Sometimes confusing when ppl talk past each other when they are looking at the same problem from different perspectives but.... people. lol


Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: natasha on April 24, 2019, 09:27:16 pm
Ive been on hrt for a little over 10 years, and am not "out" in public at all. Im 54 now. So, yes it can be done. At least for me anyway.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Gabriel_C on April 25, 2019, 04:43:50 am
So, when you guys are on HRT and not transitioning, do you do it yourselves? I mean, aren't there doctors controlling your hormone levels and all that? Do they allow it?
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Kirsteneklund7 on April 25, 2019, 05:03:06 am
So, when you guys are on HRT and not transitioning, do you do it yourselves? I mean, aren't there doctors controlling your hormone levels and all that? Do they allow it?
I started HRT in 2015 and still havent transitioned. If you tell the prescribing doctor you simply gain relief from the dysphoria, enjoy your life and like having breasts they will be satisfied.

 I had to explain to the doctor that without HRT the GD, angst, anxiety unease and depression is a problem. HRT alone is almost a cure.

I think for FTM the HRT often feels like a cure as well, but the masculising effects are often hard to miss.

 Kind regards, Kirsten.

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Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: AnneK on April 25, 2019, 05:46:42 am
So, when you guys are on HRT and not transitioning, do you do it yourselves? I mean, aren't there doctors controlling your hormone levels and all that? Do they allow it?

I had no problem.  I told my doctor I wanted feminizing hormones, was referred to an endocrinologist and got the prescription, entirely above board.  This process is called "informed consent".

Getting HRT and fully transitioning are 2 entirely different things and many find HRT is all they need.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: AnonyMs on April 25, 2019, 06:53:03 am
In some places if you tell your doctor you're not planning on transitioning they won't give you hrt.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Alex123 on July 01, 2019, 05:08:20 am
I’m in the camp that uses HRT to counter dysphoria and it does the job well.  Over the last 3 years the physical changes have been significant and they are very hard to disguise (and also requires vigilance in public).  I also NEVER take my top off in public.  Much easier at home where I can relax.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: AnonyMs on July 01, 2019, 09:40:28 pm
I was good for 3 years, but it got bad after 5, and I give up after 10. I can't do this anymore.

I'll be transitioning.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Kirsteneklund7 on July 01, 2019, 10:51:26 pm
I was good for 3 years, but it got bad after 5, and I give up after 10. I can't do this anymore.

I'll be transitioning.
That is huge news! I wish you the very best with it.

 Out of anyone on Susans, your take on transition is very valuable. I would personally love to hear your story as you go.

 Kind regards,  Kirsten.

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Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: AnonyMs on July 02, 2019, 12:35:05 am
That is huge news! I wish you the very best with it.

Out of anyone on Susans, your take on transition is very valuable. I would personally love to hear your story as you go.

Thanks, but I'm not sure I'm going to say much. I've already left a lot out over the last few years and I'm tempted to stop posting entirely. Or I may just go totally public like some of the others here. This closet thing it getting to me and I kind of want to just blow it up.

There also some disturbing things going on in Sydney with doctors here and I'm thinking of taking a more much more active and visible role.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Kirsteneklund7 on July 02, 2019, 12:49:30 am
Thanks, but I'm not sure I'm going to say much. I've already left a lot out over the last few years and I'm tempted to stop posting entirely. Or I may just go totally public like some of the others here. This closet thing it getting to me and I kind of want to just blow it up.

There also some disturbing things going on in Sydney with doctors here and I'm thinking of taking a more much more active and visible role.
Interesting! I if I couldnt access HRT here in Darwin I would end up in dire straights.

 Transition doesnt suit me right now but I suspect I will have to in the end.

 HRT policy in Sydney is probably a few years ahead of elswhere. I hope HRT remains accessible.


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Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: AnonyMs on July 02, 2019, 03:29:43 am
HRT policy in Sydney is probably a few years ahead of elswhere. I hope HRT remains accessible

It was great, but Hayes stopped practicing and it's taken a giant leap backwards. You can still get hrt easily enough, but not what I need. There's lots of people panicking here.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: bittydrew on July 31, 2019, 12:49:45 pm
I'm older 63 and hopefully gonna go the route of taking hrt but don't think I could completely do a transition cause of the time in surgery it takes but seem to accept it also  just started counseling just want to feel more female I guess and have a thing to get breast and heck with anyone that can't accept if I grow breast whats wrong with a male having breast anyway just societys  problem with it not mine
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: SarahJaneSmith on December 06, 2019, 03:25:43 pm
I'm in the non-transitioning camp for now. I have mentioned before that I suffer from transient obsessive phases that last between three and four months. If I'm still intent on HRT by February I will start it. But I'm not likely to fully transition.  Feminizing myself is as far as I would go.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Pammie on December 06, 2019, 04:25:02 pm
I'm in the non-transitioning camp for now. I have mentioned before that I suffer from transient obsessive phases that last between three and four months. If I'm still intent on HRT by February I will start it. But I'm not likely to fully transition.  Feminizing myself is as far as I would go.
It will be interesting to see how you feel after a few months on HRT.
In terms of fully transitioning your body changes will make it very hard for you to continue presenting Male I would expect


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Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Pammie on December 06, 2019, 04:27:36 pm
I'm older 63 and hopefully gonna go the route of taking hrt but don't think I could completely do a transition cause of the time in surgery it takes but seem to accept it also  just started counseling just want to feel more female I guess and have a thing to get breast and heck with anyone that can't accept if I grow breast whats wrong with a male having breast anyway just societys  problem with it not mine
Mm, I suspect the concept might sound better than the reality - Male with breasts would get a lot of negativity that would be tough to handle


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Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Kate.claire on December 06, 2019, 07:47:59 pm
Yeah,  but it’s a ymmv thing like everything else.  14 months in, the changes are subtle for me.  I mean yes,  I can’t go swimming in public anymore without a rash guard and sports bra/swimsuit underneath,  but my breasts (38 band, 43 chest on a good day) are more than manageable on a daily basis at work.  I don’t have any immediate plans to transition,  but going on HRT has been a life saver for me mentally.  Of course,  my spouse was fully aware ahead of time... some rather obvious changes to anyone you are intimate with.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Sarah-Red on December 06, 2019, 08:26:23 pm
It was useful for me to read this thread, to know others are on hrt but not transitioning. I don't think that not transitioning will hold off my dysphoria, but it's very difficult for me to think about presenting at the time. I don't know, but I like knowing that others have managed to live while allowing feminization with hrt but didn't feel like they had to present right away or ever.

I don't know what I'm going to do, but at least I'll keep feminizing for now.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: SarahJaneSmith on December 08, 2019, 11:22:41 pm
It will be interesting to see how you feel after a few months on HRT.
In terms of fully transitioning your body changes will make it very hard for you to continue presenting Male I would expect


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I am indeed wondering what will happen to me after a few months of HRT. For one thing I don't wish to become impotent. I need to continue having erections and satisfying my wife.

And due to massive weight loss ten years ago I have had gynecomastia surgery so I am very curious to see if any actual breast growth is even still possible.

As for presenting male, I think I will always read male no matter what. The other day at my daughter's gymnastics gym I saw one trans woman waiting for her kid and she didn't really pass. I think I'm going to be kind of in the same category. I wanted to strike up a conversation with her as a fellow Trans but I've never been in that situation where I'd say "Oh, a fellow trans person!" Because that would immediately be like saying "You don't pass" and I would HATE to do that to one of us...
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Pammie on December 09, 2019, 05:54:05 am
I am indeed wondering what will happen to me after a few months of HRT. For one thing I don't wish to become impotent. I need to continue having erections and satisfying my wife.

And due to massive weight loss ten years ago I have had gynecomastia surgery so I am very curious to see if any actual breast growth is even still possible.

As for presenting male, I think I will always read male no matter what. The other day at my daughter's gymnastics gym I saw one trans woman waiting for her kid and she didn't really pass. I think I'm going to be kind of in the same category. I wanted to strike up a conversation with her as a fellow Trans but I've never been in that situation where I'd say "Oh, a fellow trans person!" Because that would immediately be like saying "You don't pass" and I would HATE to do that to one of us...
Gosh that’s a difficult situation - I can’t imagine being trans MTF and having sex as a man - sounds awful


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Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Julie H on December 09, 2019, 07:43:28 am
I have been on hormones since august and I lost most desire to transition. I even asked for my estrogen dose to be lowered to slow down the physical changes all while keeping the mental changes.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Julie H on December 09, 2019, 07:45:38 am
Gosh that’s a difficult situation - I can’t imagine being trans MTF and having sex as a man - sounds awful


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One reason I can never have a relationship with my current genitals.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Pammie on December 09, 2019, 09:00:16 am
One reason I can never have a relationship with my current genitals.
100% agree!


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Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: GordonG on December 09, 2019, 02:51:15 pm
I've been on HRT for 14 months now, and I still don't want to fully transition. I wouldn't pass in a million years, but that is not THE reason for not transitioning. I've never had the desire to do it. I've gotten a little bit of breast growth, but nothing that stands out in a crowd so to speak.  I'll keep on presenting as male for the rest of my life.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Renee.D on December 09, 2019, 04:23:01 pm
As for presenting male, I think I will always read male no matter what. The other day at my daughter's gymnastics gym I saw one trans woman waiting for her kid and she didn't really pass. I think I'm going to be kind of in the same category. I wanted to strike up a conversation with her as a fellow Trans but I've never been in that situation where I'd say "Oh, a fellow trans person!" Because that would immediately be like saying "You don't pass" and I would HATE to do that to one of us...

I know everyone views these types of situations differently, I go to Florida for a yearly work trip. One year that I was there I noticed one of the ladies that spoke and owns her own company looked like she may possibly be transgender. She had a fantastic voice and looks very similar to a cis-female I know in the town where I live. I desperately wanted to talk to her and be like "Hey, I'm like you! Let's talk! I need guidance and support." Instead, I introduced myself to her and had a few friendly conversations with her over the course of the next few days.

After this trip is when I really began coming to terms with my inner self. I was really struggling and decided that the next year when I went to the conference I would talk to her and tell her what I was struggling with. I desperately needed to talk to someone that could understand and help prepare me for what I knew lied ahead.

Sure enough, she was there again. I spoke at the conference that year right before her. We both ended up in the party suite that afternoon and I decided that I was going to take a chance. I told her I remembered her from last year and she told me she enjoyed my talk. I asked her if she would be willing to listen to something personal I was dealing with and thought she might be able to help me with. She was so friendly and told me she would love to talk!

We went to a corner of the room and I started the conversation. I started by saying that I had a personal question to ask if she wouldn't mind. She told me to ask away. I said, "Please don't be offended, but I need someone to talk to and I was wondering if you are transgender?" She responded pleasantly that yes she was. I told her "So am I!" She said, "Wow man! you pass really well!" I responded, "Actually I'm a transwoman who has not started transitioning!" I swear to God she almost dropped her cup! She got so excited.

She told me to hold on because she was going to grab us a bottle of Sake and we could go to her room and talk. We drank the whole bottle and talked all night. We missed the provided dinner and one of her partners and knocked at the door at one time to let us know we were missing all sorts of activities. We went down to the Hotel Diner close to Midnight and ate dinner together. She told me her life story and her transition story. For the first time in my life, I felt seen and accepted and like I finally had true girl talk!

Because I was able to talk to this wonderful woman about what I was going through I had the ability to hang on a little longer until I could begin transitioning. We still stay in touch and it is great!
Being honest with ourselves and realizing that it is either possible or probable that people will clock as as trans is a good thing. I for one wouldn't miss out on being able to switch places and be there for someone who might be hanging on by a thread! There is an old saying "It takes one to know one!" I am able to clock people that are trans much better than my wife or friends. I don't out them to others or think any less of them. I have both passed and been clocked. IT is what it is.

I say if you feel like you want to be friends with this lady, be friendly. You don't have to start off talking about being trans. And you can always tell her that you are transgender before you say anything to her about being transgender. You just have to feel it out. In my instance, if I felt this lady at the conference would be offended about me asking her about herself I would have just switched around the order in which I started and finished our first conversation!

Good luck with your journey, sister!
Renee
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: GordonG on December 10, 2019, 07:21:53 pm
You are so lucky that it went well. What would you have done it she said "no" and was very offended by your comment?
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: AJ on December 16, 2019, 11:02:34 am
The title of this post called my attention... I read all the replies, but still don't understand what this is about.

Isn't HRT the hormone treatment for transitioning? How can you take hormones and not transition? Your body changes due to the hormones... right? And why would you take hormones if you don't want to transition?

I'm not criticizing. I'm genuinely trying to understand. Never heard about this before. If someone could please explain it to me...

My goal was to shut down the testosterone and I needed estradiol for brain, heart and bone health.
I spent 5.5 decades of my life hurting myself and that had to stop.
I hated testosterone as it was the root cause of my dysphoria.
I’m 66 now and while I could be a decent looking older woman, I like the advantages of presenting male.
I built my life and family connections as male and I only want to go as far in my transition as I need to stop hurting myself. I also like that for me, I am female underneath my clothes.
So now I’m and actor, during the day I play a male, but at night I am a superhero girl who wants to live and no longer hurt herself.
AJ
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: GordonG on December 16, 2019, 12:05:59 pm
My goal was to shut down the testosterone and I needed estradiol for brain, heart and bone health.
I spent 5.5 decades of my life hurting myself and that had to stop.
I hated testosterone as it was the root cause of my dysphoria.
I’m 66 now and while I could be a decent looking older woman, I like the advantages of presenting male.
I built my life and family connections as male and I only want to go as far in my transition as I need to stop hurting myself. I also like that for me, I am female underneath my clothes.
So now I’m and actor, during the day I play a male, but at night I am a superhero girl who wants to live and no longer hurt herself.
AJ

I could have written 98% of that post myself. I too like being without T and I really like the E.
Title: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Pammie on December 16, 2019, 03:16:09 pm
I could have written 98% of that post myself. I too like being without T and I really like the E.
It’s hard to understand trans women who like presenting Male (as opposed to those who cannot transition yet but really want to) - it does feel like an anachronism to me but hey, as we always say we are all on individual journeys


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Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Bittydrew on December 16, 2019, 04:37:37 pm
For me I'm gonna transition as much as I can I already in womens clothes not dresses yet just can't find any that don't make me look pregnant taking hrt for 3mths and breast are growing and I don't care what anyone thinks it fits me just fine love them wife is fine with everything so are the kids just probably cant do the bottom surgery cause of other problems but seems like it don't bother me either so will be looking like a female with just one difference and seems to fit me fine....
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: GordonG on December 16, 2019, 05:25:30 pm
It’s hard to understand trans women who like presenting Male (as opposed to those who cannot transition yet but really want to) - it does feel like an anachronism to me but hey, as we always say we are all on individual journeys

I don't really consider myself to be a "trans woman". That is where your disconnect is happening. Besides, who says that I like presenting as male 100%. I don't. Hence I sometimes like to wear a skirt, women's shirt, and hosiery.

 I think of myself as more of a feminine male, trans-feminine, or possibly gender-fluid. Actually I think there isn't a term that I could use that would adequately describe myself so that others would fully understand. Heck, I don't fully understand it myself.

If there were some different conditions in my life, body and outlook, then I probably would fully transition.
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: Sarah-Red on December 16, 2019, 05:43:51 pm
I don't really consider myself to be a "trans woman". That is where your disconnect is happening. Besides, who says that I like presenting as male 100%. I don't. Hence I sometimes like to wear a skirt, women's shirt, and hosiery.

 I think of myself as more of a feminine male, trans-feminine, or possibly gender-fluid. Actually I think there isn't a term that I could use that would adequately describe myself so that others would fully understand. Heck, I don't fully understand it myself.

If there were some different conditions in my life, body and outlook, then I probably would fully transition.

That makes sense, I was thinking you might be transfeminine or non-binary at least.

This might not be the right place to ask, but how do you sport a woman's shirt? Do you shave your body (or where skin shows) and then that's good enough?
Title: Re: Anyone on hrt but not transitioning?
Post by: GordonG on December 16, 2019, 06:04:14 pm
That makes sense, I was thinking you might be transfeminine or non-binary at least.

This might not be the right place to ask, but how do you sport a woman's shirt? Do you shave your body (or where skin shows) and then that's good enough?

Not a problem.

I do not consider "hairy" as being a feminine trait in the least. So, yes I do shave my whole body except eyebrows. I've had electrolysis done on my ears, torso and back. Not that I had a lot anyhow, and being on E has reduced it quite a bit. I've thought about having my face done, but haven't gone there yet. I'm retired now, so the money would be an issue. My beard is gray, so it doesn't show as much as it used to.

Now if I win the lottery, I will have the face done. I just love the feeling to smooth hair free skin.