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Blogs => Member Blogs => Topic started by: MeTony on May 17, 2019, 12:43:51 am

Title: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on May 17, 2019, 12:43:51 am
Was thinking about a journey blog like many of you have. Maybe it could help someone else.


So. I started T a week ago. Was not expecting much. I have a low dose.

But yesterday I cut a 3 cm and a 2 cm long hair from my jaw. The hair has become more coarse. Did not expect to have this rapid change in my face.

Voice is still the same. And I still need to lose weight to access operations in my country.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190517/b7dd14bfb3bc0f3521027df08882a7d4.jpg)
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: CynthiaAnn on May 17, 2019, 07:47:31 am
Good Morning Tony (from here), nice to spot your T journal, so I'll be the first to reply. That's great seeing the whiskers "already" starting to appear, you are on your way  :) I can only say after 35 + years they were sure hard to get rid of when my time came, wow. For you it's awesome, and quite validating ! Want to wish you a great day man....

Cynthia -
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Faith on May 17, 2019, 07:53:39 am
Tony, you were one of the first to respond to me way back when I first joined. I don't even remember what topic. I'm happy to see you finally coming in to your own, it's been a long time coming.

Enjoy the hair. I'd give you some of mine if it was possible .. you don't mind snow-white gray do you? :D
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on May 17, 2019, 11:08:45 am
Snow white is about what color the hairs had that I removed. Haha.

But I don’t mind. :)


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on May 17, 2019, 11:09:46 am
Thank you Cynthia.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: F_P_M on May 17, 2019, 01:45:56 pm
yes! definite hair!

have fun with those inexplicably longer ones lol. I get these two that grow like 3x faster than any of the rest and it looks so ridiculous.
like.. WHY? why hairs? why you gotta be like this?

and it's always the white ones! What's that about?

Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on May 17, 2019, 01:56:34 pm
F_P_M...maybe we’re getting old? Haha ;)
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: F_P_M on May 18, 2019, 06:19:27 am
Lol probably.

If I start getting nose and ear hair i'm gonna be mortified hahahaha.

Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Perry on May 18, 2019, 09:23:18 am
I went right to grandpa status, random nose and ear hair (left ear only, how odd).

Been on T for 1 year & 11 days. Still better than the before!

Perry
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on May 18, 2019, 04:29:08 pm
I’m at a conference with one of the organizations I’m active in. I had sent 2 bills to the meeting. I had to stand up in front of everyone, about 70 people, and tell them why I wanted the things I wrote about. I HATE my voice. My voice in my head is male. I can’t wait to get there.

Good thing though. At the dinner, nobody said anything about me. Not good nor bad. I was just me. Tomorrow when the meeting continues I’ll change my name plate on my shirt to my preferred name.

Btw. I got my bills voted through. Democracy at its best.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190518/4bbb22d11165b280366e4a9d61bcf6db.jpg)



Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Paul Muad-Dib on May 18, 2019, 08:26:36 pm
Even at this "early" stage you look pretty damn masculine. Way more than I did. I suspect you'll be able to grow a smashing viking beard in no time.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on May 18, 2019, 10:06:33 pm
Thanx Kylo. I never did very well doing the woman part in life. I managed to push out two babies. But that’s it.

Maybe genetics were kind to me. And that I looked at male role models. I remember at 7 years I looked at my friend’s dad and thought “I will be like him when I’m grown up”. 

Looking masculine is more than a masculine face or a fancy picture.

It’s 5 AM. I can’t sleep.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: F_P_M on May 19, 2019, 06:14:01 am
You look great Tony and congrats on the bills!

Man I relate HARD to the never doing well in the woman thing. I mean even biologically my body SUCKS at womanhood lol. Okay yeah, I managed to squeeze out babies but only with medical help because my body couldn't even figure that out. Seriously, I don't dilate, my body is all "derp what? i'm supposed to be doing something? Whaa?"

I'm both socially inept at feminity and biochemically inept hahaha.

I'm with you on the voice too. I mean I have hated my voice for a long time, not just because it's feminine and gives me away badly (it sounds so much deeper in my head! so unfair!) but because I have a really bizarre accent and my autism makes it very hard for me to manage tone or volume so I quite often get screamed at in public for opening my mouth. I've had several instances where i've come home wanting to cut my own tongue out or damage my throat so I can no longer be tempted to speak and that's pretty awful.
I can't help but wonder if a deeper voice might help, at the very least it would be a change withough the baggage. I mean I used to get death threats for my voice, well mostly my accent when I was a teenager. I had a glass thrown at my head, a cigarette stubbed out on my arm, constantly kicked and spat on, all because of how I spoke.
So it's hard not to hate my voice.

I'd love to sound different, it'd be wonderful. And a deeper voice means less ability to speak shrilly which is the primary reason I get yelled at on public transport.

I don't actually have a particularly high voice but it is distinctly female and it's like.. eugh. Come on, at least give me androgyny!

hope you managed to get some sleep man. Good luck with the next lot of the conferance.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on May 19, 2019, 06:20:55 am
I fell asleep and forgot about the name plate. But hey, I will see them on facebook, most of them. I’ll soon be fully out anyway.



Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: F_P_M on May 19, 2019, 09:46:18 am
I go by a male name on facebook and have done for years. Interestingly nobody actually notices or questions it.
I started doing this long before I came out to myself, initially it was because I didn't feel comfortable using my birth name due to a crazy stalker but I mean, I could have picked any name. I went with the silly male nickname an ex boyfriend's friends gave me because I dunno, I LIKED having a male name. Hahah, oh foolish me, I should have seen.

But yeah, i've gone by that name for years and it's so funny because when I see people irl who have met me via facebook or are part of the village facebook group so only know me by my facebook name they call me by that name and it delights me.

The other day one of the local labour ladies shouted to her friend "hey, have you met Keith!?" and pointed at me and I waved and the lady was all "oh yeah, we've met briefly. I didn't know your name"
NOBODY has actually asked WHY I go by Keith.
Not a single person.

Which is kinda strange when you think about it. Maybe it's a British thing, but yeah, they don't care.

I wonder though if it'll make coming out a bit easier lol. Be all "surprise, i was keith all along!" and they'll be all "yeah we know moron"
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on May 19, 2019, 11:11:50 am
Haha. Maybe you are more obvious than you think.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on May 20, 2019, 12:42:54 am
Just remembered. I met a woman at the conference. She knew I’m a dude. I told everyone in another meeting where she attended. She wanted to greet me at this conference. She started with the hug position, then she reached me her hand och it all became a strange mixed greeting where we shook our upper arms.

Hahaha. People’s insecurities are very funny sometimes.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: F_P_M on May 20, 2019, 08:25:07 am
Lol that is wierd.

people are ridiculous aren't they?
Title: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on May 23, 2019, 01:36:20 am
Starting 3’rd week today.

Checked voice pitch analyzer. I’m all over the place! I guess I need to do it again for better results. Or maybe it’s the T-efffect.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190523/bfe1a73cee0acad9d3cd6d1da5e23b4d.jpg)
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on May 23, 2019, 01:43:26 am
Tried again without music in the background.  Much better and more realistic results.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190523/5d15a8d728f041c0f12fbbb9a6befa26.jpg)
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: F_P_M on May 23, 2019, 05:39:37 am
OMG YES!

I was playing with this voice pitch thing myself and last night fantasising about how it'd drop

It's incredible how fast it happens on t!

T is magic, like for real, it's magic.

Lol i'm all over the place without T! like 163hz to 235hz! that's an insane range just speaking.

Man, keep doing this every week or month, it's gonna be so interesting to see how far it drops!
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on June 01, 2019, 10:34:34 pm
4’th week started Thursday.

I have not seen extreme changes yet. But I feel my confidence go up. I am me and I don’t really care what people say or think. Well, I want to be seen as a guy, but I FEEL I’m a guy more than before.

People asked about pictures where I smile. I will share one in a minute.

I was at a conference, with my non-profit organization where I’m head of the board, at the sea this weekend. Much much cheaper at the sea than on land.

I told them all (including new people on the board) that I identify as a guy.

I got many surprised and approving glances and comments when I dressed up for the evening. They said I’m handsome and look good. Thank you GC2B for making binders! And thank myself for losing enough weight to go down one size! I am an L now.

If I say I did not blush when they raised me to the sky I would lie. I must honestly say I was proud of myself to go through all the way. Not sitting in a corner and hope people don’t notice me.

But my voice still gives me away... I have developed a strategy, I point and nod and maybe grunt approvingly. Haha. Need to de-practice those habits when my voice drops.

But ok. Here’s the very happy pic.

Tony

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190602/a60f9af04429ab2b5fd10da2c6c44b56.jpg)
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Lexxi on June 01, 2019, 11:03:06 pm
Hi Tony,

I think you're looking good...very manly!! I wanted to make a comment about something one of you said early on. It's about those damn nose hairs. You're going to HATE those!! I think I started getting them in my 30s. I'm telling you now that the very easiest way to make your eyes water is to pluck one of them, which is what I do. Oh and when one invariably ends up coming back as in ingrown hair you're really going to be hating life. lol

Luckily I was never really that hairy of a person so making my transition from MTF will be just a tiny bit easier, at least in that aspect. I never could grow a beard or even a decent mustache, so now I look at that as a blessing. I only ever had to shave about once a week. I remember one time though I didn't shave for over a month and hardly anyone could tell.

By the way I'm pre-HRT right now, but look forward to the hormones making what facial hair I do have even softer and lighter. I hope your facial hairs starts coming in thick and strong. I've seen a lot of trans men have completely full, dark, thick beards and I hope that's what you get if that's what you want. But watch out for those nose hairs...they really hurt to get rid of. lol

xoxo
Lexxi
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on June 01, 2019, 11:30:43 pm
Haha. Nose hairs. I already have them. I try cutting them but it tickles and I start sneezing. I’ve tried to pluck them, I know what you’re talking about...you mean this will be even worse?


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Lexxi on June 02, 2019, 12:58:47 am
Oh yeah it's gonna get worse. You're probably just dealing with a stray one here or there. Just wait until the whole inside is covered with them. The nose is the one and only place where I have too much hair. I'll sometimes reach the tweezers up there, pinch and pull, and will have pulled out 20 or 30 hairs in one go. It feels like I just ripped the inside of my nose out, lol.

You can go with a nose trimmer, but that will probably make you sneeze too...it does for me. Plus you have to do it more often because they don't seem to cut the hairs very short. So it's plucking for me. Once the hair gets long enough where I can feel them moving around and tickling the inside of my nose when I breath I know it's time to get the tweezers back out.

Good luck!! No one ever said being a man is painless, ha ha ha...
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on June 02, 2019, 02:02:14 am
Hahaha. I’d rather trim my nose than my legs and arms and everything else ;)


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Lexxi on June 02, 2019, 04:56:39 am
Hahaha...I just shaved my legs and arms the other day. While there was a lot more hair on them than in my nose...I didn't once sneeze or have tears in my eyes. LOL

But it sure did take a lot longer to shave than it did to pluck my nose hair. I do have one thing going for me though. I've had low T for most of my life so my body hair is really fine and scattered around. Like most people couldn't really see that I had hair on my legs or arms unless they got up close.

Oh and because it's so fine I didn't even have to use any shaving cream or water. I just dry shaved it off. So that's a huge plus in my book. I'm hoping after I start taking estrogen it will grow even finer than it does now.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Faith on June 02, 2019, 06:39:51 am
Haha. Nose hairs. I already have them. I try cutting them but it tickles and I start sneezing. I’ve tried to pluck them, I know what you’re talking about...you mean this will be even worse?


Tony

nose and ears .. ick .. I got to the age where overnight I would have a few inch long (felt like anyways) hairs randomly growing in on around my ears .. ewwwwwwwww. My nose, oh yeah, started plucking those babies early in life, well before beard or chest hair became prominent.

loved your photo Tony, you're looking great. And keep smiling!! there is nothing manly about being a grim-faced all day.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: F_P_M on June 02, 2019, 07:15:46 am
Women shave their ARMS!???

Dang...

I suppose i've always been relatively fortunate that nobody ever comments on my very hairy body lol.

I do NOT miss shaving my legs though, ingrown hairs suuuuck.

Nose hair, oh fun. My dad has a lot of nose hair lol. I'm doomed!

I'm assuming my current hair pattern is a good indication of what might thicken up. Least.. I hope so...
I don't have much chest hair, just a LOT of belly hair lol. It's kinda hilarious. I'm pre t and hairier in the body than my cisgendered husband! (he grows better facial hair right now but that's not saying a lot, he can't grow a proper beard and it irritates him)

I have to shave my face and armpits daily though (I shave my pits like my father because we suffer from real issues with sweat and it helps a bit), this hair grows SO FAST it's crazy.

you know... I sneeze if I tweaze my eyebrow or chin hair too. What's that about?

You're looking great Tony! Nice to see you smiling.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on June 02, 2019, 07:29:20 am
Never shaved my arms either. Nor the hair on my fingers. Noone has said anything about it. But I guess there will be more...

Just shaved my legs, when my mom or sister pushed me to do it. And my armpits.



Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Lexxi on June 02, 2019, 07:57:33 am
I'm glad I have no hair on my fingers or toes. Like I said earlier I've never been a very hairy person. I always thought that was a curse...but now I know it's a blessing.  ;D
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: F_P_M on June 02, 2019, 09:13:43 am
Lol I have hairy toes. My friends declared I was a hobbit when we were teenagers as a result and I pointed out I could also grow a beard so we declared I was in fact a dwobbit, part dwarf, part hobbit. *snort* So funny.

I think though a lot of cis women are wierd about body hair. I know my mother and sister are. My sister is almost phobic of body hair and my mother waxes, tweazes and generally is a bit OTT about removing everything she deems "infeminine"

Only reason I shaved my legs and chin hair was because society conditioned me to think I had to. Kids at school teased me the first time they saw my leg hair so after that I conformed so I wouldn't be bullied more.
Social pressure is really quite powerful.

I always resented having to do it though. Shaving your legs and bikini line etc is a lot of work and involves a lot of acrobatics man!
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Lexxi on June 02, 2019, 03:15:18 pm
F-P-M You're a hoot. I think I'd laugh myself silly hanging out with you for day. lol

A Dwobbit...ROTFLMAO!!  ;D ;D ;D

Yeah you're right social pressure is a bitch! I often think about how differently this world would look if people actually followed the golden rule. Can you imagine it? Peace on earth.

I've never had to worry about a bikini line, for one thing I was a guy who wished I could wear a bikini but never could, but also because I've kept that area free and clear of hair for the past 25 years. If I had been brave enough, and rich enough, I'd have had the whole area zapped so no hair would grow there. Yuck...hair is just so gross!  >:-)
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on June 06, 2019, 01:46:19 am
4’th week starts today. I hear a change in my voice. I’m hoarse. This is exciting.

I’ll try that voice pitch analyzer again.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on June 06, 2019, 01:50:10 am
It’s all over the place. But the lowest is lower than before.



(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190606/f0447ef440c0a9e69e23802433ce6cd7.jpg)
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: TonyaW on June 06, 2019, 07:18:17 am



 
But my voice still gives me away... I have developed a strategy, I point and nod and maybe grunt approvingly. Haha. Need to de-practice those habits when my voice drops.


You won't need to unlearn that. Plenty of cis guys communicate exactly like that.



Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on June 06, 2019, 10:45:04 am

You won't need to unlearn that. Plenty of cis guys communicate exactly like that.



Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk



Cool. Then I’m doing yet another thing the right way. :)


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: F_P_M on June 06, 2019, 02:00:12 pm
lol grunting, my teenage son is already doing the grunting. So funny.

I find it really interesting so many ladies talk about laser. I remember having laser done on my stomach hair years ago, my mother convinced me to do it so I wouldn't have to shave it any more back when I cared what people thought. I did several sessions, it hurt SO BAD but it made no difference at all. My hair is a jerk and will grow no matter what it seems.
I have to shave my armpits daily and my chin ever 2 days because it grows back so fast, it's madness.

How's your body hair going Tony? I know that's super exciting for a lot of guys. I'm wondering if pre T hair distribution is any hint as to what your post t distribution might look like. Did you find any hair where you didn't previously have even downy fuzz?
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on June 06, 2019, 02:55:24 pm
I’m fuzzy allover. No new places yet. I don’t think there are new places to grow hair. Haha

I have hair on my fingers and toes. Not so much on my chest. Maybe that will change.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: F_P_M on June 06, 2019, 05:41:41 pm
Lol I have furry toes, it's amusing. I have slightly furry shoulders atm, like light downy fur. I said to husband if I get shoulder hair, we are veeting that like... STAT hahaha.

I mentioned hair to my mother and said I was like a satyr, hairy from the waist down and she was all "so is your dad!"
lol.
Maybe i'll get lucky and not get back hair like a couple of my uncles.

Hair distribution is super wierd. My husband has like... no chest hair and I have like.. one. ONE! ahahahaha. Maybe that'll change with T but it's hilarious because my one chest hair is dark and super long but it's just totally alone and it's like "why? WHY do you exist?"
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on June 07, 2019, 12:07:49 am
I have like 3 chest hairs to start with. Lets see if that changes.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Lexxi on June 07, 2019, 01:25:13 am
Yaaaaay Tony!!

I remember finding my first hairs during puberty. It was a good feeling!

By the way, I wish I knew you were looking for some chest hairs...I just shaved a bunch off last week and I would have gladly sent em' to ya for free. haha

xoxo
Lexxi
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on June 07, 2019, 01:30:31 am
Hahaha Lexxi, you’re too funny.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Lexxi on June 07, 2019, 01:36:12 am
Thank you I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waiters.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Lexxi on June 07, 2019, 01:39:56 am
I remember when I was a whole lot younger and disappointed with my lack of chest hair, I thought I might gather some of my hair clippings from my haircut, spray some spray adhesive on my chest then throw the clippings in a fan that was pointed at me.

Your probably thinking that I was joking about that, but sadly I'm not. LOLOLOL...I was desperate man!
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on June 07, 2019, 02:33:07 am
Hahaha...

Sorry I’m laughing. But I know that feeling.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Lexxi on June 07, 2019, 02:48:04 am
Nah man I was lookin' for some laughs! Glad I could do that for ya!  ;) I aim to please you know.  ;D
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Faith on June 07, 2019, 05:36:14 am
Lol I have furry toes, it's amusing. I have slightly furry shoulders atm, like light downy fur. I said to husband if I get shoulder hair, we are veeting that like... STAT hahaha.

I mentioned hair to my mother and said I was like a satyr, hairy from the waist down and she was all "so is your dad!"
lol.
Maybe i'll get lucky and not get back hair like a couple of my uncles.

Hair distribution is super weird. My husband has like... no chest hair and I have like.. one. ONE! ahahahaha. Maybe that'll change with T but it's hilarious because my one chest hair is dark and super long but it's just totally alone and it's like "why? WHY do you exist?"

HAH, love this post .. my wife did as well. For not particular reason I'll share a fun fact.  I was fur starting in my ... hmm, mid 40's? from neck to toe with interspersed serious dark ones thrown in to tease me. It shaded me enough that it looked like a permanent tan. Like black mold it was creeping over my shoulders and down my back. ick, eww~~ ok, well, not then. Then it was like, "Yes!, I'm a man!!"  :P phbphbphb :P

now, my wife has more hair than I do, including chest hair .. and I still go off the deep end when I find that one lone hair that's an inch long .. when the **** did that sprout from!!??!!
disclaimer: I did not include facial hair .. grrrrrrrrrrr ... if I sneeze hard enough will it all fall out?
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: F_P_M on June 07, 2019, 07:27:05 am
ahahah i'm hairier than my husband and it amuses me. He gets wierd if I point it out though. I think it somehow immasculates him. Cis men are hilarious like that.
He keeps pointing out NEW chest hairs and i'm like "oh yes, mm hmmm honey" *snicker*

I'm sure i'm gonna be totally annoying on T though, all "Omg look at these hairs!" and he'll be "mm hmm honey" back at me.

Lol fur.

I suppose i'm lucky in that I never had to go gluing hair to myself. My mother the other day suggested I could stick a fake beard on when I told her my chin hairs grew stupidly patchy. ahahahaha.
So funny.

I'm really really curious about what T will do. Those changes are so exciting! I love seeing how other people shift and change and transform, it's like magic!
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on June 14, 2019, 02:07:41 am
One month on T.

No huge changes yet. Not in face nor in voice. Maybe I’m a bit hoarse. But that’s about it.

I keep working out. Need to lose 10 more kg to be put in line for operations.

Midsummer is coming up. A huge challenge to us Swedes trying to keep a fit lifestyle. So much tasty food. I will not overdo it this year. I have a goal and I will reach it.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Lexxi on June 14, 2019, 04:11:21 am
Hey Tony,

Maybe that hoarseness is your voice getting ready to change man! Good for you sticking to your weight loss plan. It sounds like transitioning is doing to you what it's doing to me...and that's making big changes.

Since I've made the decision to transition I've been working hard on getting myself in shape for my new life. I've quit biting my nails, I'm letting my hair grow for the first time ever and I'm working on losing weight. It doesn't sound like much, but I just weighed myself and I've lost 5 pounds this week. Now I only have about 95 more to go, hahaha.

Another big change I'm making is I'm going to give up smoking. I've smoked since I was 17 and I'm now 50, so I've smoked for the biggest part of my life. But I'm starting HRT on July 10th and I've read that smoking will greatly diminish the feminizing effects of hormones, so I'm giving it up for good. I want every single feminizing effect I can get, lol.

Good luck with your weight loss plan. Just remember to keep your goals of surgery in mind and that will help you stay strong brother.

xoxo
Lexxi
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: TonyaW on June 14, 2019, 07:02:46 am
Hey Tony

Unless you have a tight time frame that you need to get your weight down by, don't worry too much about overdoing it for Midsummer. It's ok to indulge a little if you get back to healthy habits right away.




Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on June 22, 2019, 10:34:29 am
Midsummer. I was at a friend’s party. I was addressed to as he by a woman at the party. It made me joyful. She said ”Maybe he can start...” then she got insecure and mumbled. I just nodded and smiled at her.

Se said HE spontaneously and without thinking about what she said.

I had introduced myself with preferred name.



Tony

Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: F_P_M on June 22, 2019, 03:24:46 pm
Go Tony!
that's amazing!

I got "the nod" from a random guy the other day and I almost squealed in a gleeful and extremely unmasculine manner I was so excited hahaha.

Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Lexxi on June 22, 2019, 09:02:39 pm
Hi Tony,

Congratulations man!! I'm very happy for you!!

xoxo
Lexxi
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on June 27, 2019, 01:11:06 am
5 weeks on T.

Been on a week’s vacation. Came back yesterday.

”Have you cut your hair? Have you dyed your hair? Something is different about you!”

I guess I need to tell people soon. Haha


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Lexxi on June 27, 2019, 01:13:32 am
Good for you man!! Glad you're finally getting there.

xoxo
Lexxi
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: F_P_M on June 27, 2019, 05:50:05 am
Lol sounds all very positive! I'm pleased for you.

How are the changes coming along? You feeling good? I hope so.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on July 18, 2019, 02:29:26 pm
Yes. I feel good. I’m calm. No mood swings. Not yet anyway.

Been 7 weeks now. No magic yet. 

I have found a motivator to keep training. I’ll go for a 4 day hike in the Swedish alps...or rather mountains, compared to other countries around here. Maybe I can take some steps over the border to Norway too.

I walk, do row and the x-trainer.
I also do a lot of weights to strengthen my back, stomach and legs.

I’ve not lost any weight last weeks, but I’ve become thinner and stronger. I’m still 90 kg though. 12 kg too much for operations.

Maybe the fat will be gone soon anyway. Muscle weigh more than fat.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Northern Star Girl on July 18, 2019, 02:45:12 pm
@MeTony:
Dear Tony:
Thank you for sharing your upated regarding your transition endeavors....
... I am always quite happy to read the good news and about the good events that our forum's friends are experiencing.

Keep being active and exercising, your motivator/trainer will help you in that regard.  ...
... and of course, eat wisely and get the proper nutrition that will help you to get to you goals.

Again, thank you for sharing.

HUGS and best wishes,
Danielle


Yes. I feel good. I’m calm. No mood swings. Not yet anyway.

Been 7 weeks now. No magic yet. 

I have found a motivator to keep training. I’ll go for a 4 day hike in the Swedish alps...or rather mountains, compared to other countries around here. Maybe I can take some steps over the border to Norway too.

I walk, do row and the x-trainer.
I also do a lot of weights to strengthen my back, stomach and legs.

I’ve not lost any weight last weeks, but I’ve become thinner and stronger. I’m still 90 kg though. 12 kg too much for operations.

Maybe the fat will be gone soon anyway. Muscle weigh more than fat.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on July 24, 2019, 02:42:18 pm
Tomorrow is 8 weeks.

Even though I’m not on a full dose, I can feel I’m getting stronger every day.

I hit the gym 3 times a week and walk 3 times a week.

On friday I’ll walk home from my endo. It’s about 20 km. It will take about 3,5 hours according to my map.

I could never imagine T being this powerful. The only thing keeping me from the gym is my own motivation from time to time.



Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Northern Star Girl on July 24, 2019, 03:01:51 pm
@MeTony 
Dear Tony:   Good for you... 12½  miles (20km) is a great heart rate increasing, fat burning and strength building distance to walk.

You are absolutely correct about the time it will take you to WALK that distance.   
Depending on your pace and your stride it might be somewhere around 4 hours ±1 hour for completion.

Congratulations to you for getting out there and getting into shape... the testosterone will have an easier time doing what it is supposed to do if you are in shape.

Thank you for your post and for updating your followers.
Best wishes to you,
Danielle
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Lexxi on July 25, 2019, 06:53:53 pm
Good luck on your very long walk Tony!! Make sure you have your cell phone for any emergencies and drink plenty of water.

Lexxi
Title: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on July 25, 2019, 11:47:57 pm
Thank you Lexxi. I will.

I have second thoughts though. Yesterday was hot. 33 degrees Celcius (99.4 F) Today will be as hot. Maybe it’s just plain stupid to walk that distance in the heat.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Lexxi on July 26, 2019, 12:38:19 am
Yeah there's no way on earth you'd ever catch me out walking when it's that hot. I can't stand hot weather though. Once it gets above 83 degrees that's too hot for me and you'll see me running for the air conditioning. lol

I bet it'd be a lot cooler if you walk that distance in your car. hahaha...
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: TonyaW on July 27, 2019, 06:28:35 am
Thank you Lexxi. I will.

I have second thoughts though. Yesterday was hot. 33 degrees Celcius (99.4 F) Today will be as hot. Maybe it’s just plain stupid to walk that distance in the heat.


Tony
So how'd the long walk go or was it too hot?

I like to go for a run in the hot like that but that's way more than I'd ever make. 30 minutes tops for me.

Sent from my SM-G970U using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Maddie on July 27, 2019, 08:36:46 am
Sounds like it gets warmer in the Swedish Alps than an outsider might assume!
Hope you always have water.
Any case, at 33C it's got to be ok to take a day off.
Pat on the back for the steps you're taking man.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on July 27, 2019, 12:31:03 pm
Didn’t go for a walk. I took my car to the endo.

Yes. I will have enough water with me. I am planning two hikes for next year. One at the end of June and the other at the end of August.

I’ll checked out a new tent for me. A Fjällräven tent. It’s expensive but will last for years.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on August 01, 2019, 05:15:36 pm
Yaaaay PRIDE in Stockholm, Sweden!

I’m hanging there all week. Party! Leave home at 10 AM, getting home by midnight. Not staying all night. I’m too old for that. Haha.

Thursday update. I am out to the union now. They all know. I am accepted. I walk around in my union shirt and a trans pin. I bump into people I know everywhere.

Our tent is next to an organization that is for trans people. How lucky am I! I know several of the people in there and have talked a lot with one of them.

I’ll check into their tent tomorrow and talk some more.


Here’s a pic of me that a seller of polaroid cameras took of me and two friends. If anyone here, member or lurking is here joining the party week...come and say hello! I don’t bite. ;)

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190801/9b8a8e615ca05d172c035121326f47f0.jpg)

Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Maddie on August 01, 2019, 06:31:37 pm
Sounds like a great time. Have fun Tony!

Congratulations on being out to the union, and being accepted for who you are.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Sonja on August 01, 2019, 07:19:18 pm
Hey Tony,

You've come a long way and you're looking Great!!

Glad you're having a good time,

Sonja.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on August 02, 2019, 03:17:03 am
Progress...my husband is watching the movie ”Pride”. He came up with the idea himself.

*thumbs up*
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Northern Star Girl on August 02, 2019, 05:09:24 am
@MeTony
Dear Tony:
Yes indeed, very good news!!!!   
I am very happy for your as things are progressing well for you in your journey.
HUGS,
Danielle


Progress...my husband is watching the movie ”Pride”. He came up with the idea himself.

*thumbs up*
Title: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on August 02, 2019, 05:22:17 pm
A friend took a pic of me working today. I can see I’ve lost 7 kg compared to last year.

It feels great to lose weight. And that I can see it myself!

This pic is in a public group on facebook so many people has already seen it and many more will.

Expanding my circles. Soon all will know.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190802/4882632eb7a1536279755e78a931e11b.jpg)
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Maddie on August 06, 2019, 09:11:54 pm
Tony, congratulations on losing 7kg.
Happy that you can see it.  I know that it feels great.
You are doing good things
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Lexxi on August 07, 2019, 05:12:04 am
A friend took a pic of me working today. I can see I’ve lost 7 kg compared to last year.

It feels great to lose weight. And that I can see it myself!

This pic is in a public group on facebook so many people has already seen it and many more will.

Expanding my circles. Soon all will know.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190802/4882632eb7a1536279755e78a931e11b.jpg)

Hey congrats on the weight loss Tony!! You're looking good by the way!! I'm glad that you're putting yourself out there and having lots of fun.

xoxo
Lexxi
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on September 16, 2019, 03:38:24 pm
So my pic ended up in the paper that comes to all members of the union in entire Sweden. That’s nice. Noone’s said anything yet. I guess noone knows what the trans flag is. Or where my chest disappeared. Hahaha.

Been having a break från T for a while. I want to see and feel the differance. What it does. Resulted in head ache and lethargy and extreme hunger. Better continue with the gel.


No picture today. Maybe next time. :)

Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on September 17, 2019, 01:41:24 pm
Today was a great day.

Me and my son were at the place where municipal people work. My son gets help from them with activities etc because of autism.

Anyway. We sat in the waiting room. I had put my birth name in the computer to register my arrival. This was our first meeting.

The woman working for the municipal looked around. And looked around. And after a while she started asking people their names. She finally asked my son. BINGO! Then she turned to me. Looked puzzled. Asked my name. I told her my birth name. She giggled and said ”Oh, I thought you were the dad!”

When we went to the meeting room she said ”I can’t believe you’re a mommy...you don’t look like it.”

I was gendered just right. My son said ”Now you must be happy!”

I will tell this woman how things are. We did not have time for that today.

So, it was a great day. I’m a guy and people see me as such. Even without my binder.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190917/765b37be337f809eecbc7d9297040363.jpg)
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: BlueJaye on September 17, 2019, 03:06:43 pm
Today was a great day.

Me and my son were at the place where municipal people work. My son gets help from them with activities etc because of autism.

Anyway. We sat in the waiting room. I had put my birth name in the computer to register my arrival. This was our first meeting.

The woman working for the municipal looked around. And looked around. And after a while she started asking people their names. She finally asked my son. BINGO! Then she turned to me. Looked puzzled. Asked my name. I told her my birth name. She giggled and said ”Oh, I thought you were the dad!”

When we went to the meeting room she said ”I can’t believe you’re a mommy...you don’t look like it.”

I was gendered just right. My son said ”Now you must be happy!”

I will tell this woman how things are. We did not have time for that today.

So, it was a great day. I’m a guy and people see me as such. Even without my binder.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190917/765b37be337f809eecbc7d9297040363.jpg)

That must have felt great to be affirmed like that.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on October 01, 2019, 02:09:15 am
1 week left to month 5. June, July, August, September aaaand 6’th of October starts month 5 on T.

Have not heared a lot of changes in my voice. Growing hair on the left side of my face. Cutting it with scissors to keep an even look. Not much to see yet.

Cool thing though. I was at the ER and the doc put his head inside the waiting room and called up my name. Female name. And a second later said ”ok nope” and was going to check the other waiting room. I got his attention and he was like ”oh, ok”. Accepted it without further thought.

Maybe I need to change my name soon. But it feels wrong with a huge chest and a guy’s name. I might wait until I get the operation.

I’ve been playing around with the phone. I like the black and white pictures. Here’s me, first day in 3 without fever. :)

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191001/7fc5c6e11da036a759e0710b025099e1.jpg)
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Lexxi on October 01, 2019, 02:21:50 am
Hi Tony,

Congrats on passing so much now. I agree that it might be time to change your name. I'm very envious!! I can't wait until I can reach that stage. I have a feeling it's going to take a year or two for me though.

For the record I like the pics you post, whether they're in black and white or color, it's cool just seeing people from different parts of the world. When people post pics I also find myself looking at the different things in the background though. I know that's weird, but that's just how I am.  :laugh:

xoxo
Lexxi
Title: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on October 01, 2019, 02:43:16 am
Lexxi, thank you!

I do too look at every detail in a picture. Haha. No matter if it is a picture in someone’s home or a picture in the nature.

I think pictures of other people and their environment are interesting.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Sia on October 01, 2019, 03:09:04 am
I am not surprised that he gendered you as male, I can not see anything other than a man in that picture. (I do look at everything in the background too, though, lol.) Congrats to passing, that must feel so good!
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Maddie on October 01, 2019, 06:52:27 pm
All man in every photo I've seen of you Tony.
Glad your fever broke.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: JudiBlueEyes on October 01, 2019, 09:21:00 pm
Hey Tony!  I've been following your thread and thought this was as good a time as any to comment that you look great.  It is definitely time to get your name updated.  Your photos are super.  Black and white just focuses the attention on the subject better than color.  (think Ansel Adams)  Thats so cool that your photo was in the union paper.  Congratulations and keep moving forward!
Title: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on October 11, 2019, 03:12:51 pm
So. An update. It’s been... June, July, August, September, October. 5 months on T.

Expected:
Bottom growth
Stinky sweat
a beard
voice drop.

What I got:
minimum bottom growth
Stinky sweat
Strong urine smell
Thicker fuzz in face
Hairy stomach

But biggest change is:
My feet have grown! I’m a size 42. 8,5 men’s size.

I already had big feet. Now they’re even bigger. This is strange.  That feet can grow.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: BlueJaye on October 11, 2019, 03:22:02 pm
So. An update. It’s been... June, July, August, September, October. 5 months on T.

Expected:
Bottom growth
Stinky sweat
a beard
voice drop.

What I got:
minimum bottom growth
Stinky sweat
Strong urine smell
Thicker fuzz in face
Hairy stomach

But biggest change is:
My feet have grown! I’m a size 42. 8,5 men’s size.

I already had big feet. Now they’re even bigger. This is strange.  That feet can grow.


Tony

Tony, your journey is so amazing, I love reading your updates! As MTF I have experienced the opposite with my feet. They have shrunk about an entire size. I actually tried my wife’s shoes on just this morning because my own shoes are starting to feel too loose and they fit! I couldn’t cram my feet into them to save my life before.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Paul Muad-Dib on October 11, 2019, 03:28:34 pm
Another marker of "male" to people when they see you - I think - is larger feet. Having tiny dainty feet doesn't help. The shoe size increase was much welcomed. I always had relatively big feet though, like my dad. He used to mention it when I was a kid. Now they're pretty much the average size of a cis dude my height.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Linde on October 12, 2019, 06:55:48 pm

I already had big feet. Now they’re even bigger. This is strange.  That feet can grow.


Tony
And estrogen did the opposite to me (very  appreciated).  I lost at least 1/2 of my shoe size, and some of he width of my feet!

I thin the reason for this is that T causes different kind of muscles to grow than E.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on October 13, 2019, 12:34:33 am
Glow up pics are popular on facebook. I’ll put two glowup pictures here.

30 years old. Proffessional makup artist did my makeup and took the picture. It’s the second time in my life I wore makeup. First time was my sister’s wedding. Even my grandmother did not recognize me.

This was me in girl mode.
The show must go on.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191013/c206f2fe063410615a8e5453eb9f8724.jpg)

This second picture is from this morning. I have ache in my left ear. But I’m still happier than on the first picture.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191013/5976a534d7560a7a6028f96ff59289b2.jpg)


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on October 13, 2019, 12:36:06 am
Yes! Half my right eye is brown! :D
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Linde on October 13, 2019, 09:02:19 am
Yes! Half my right eye is brown! :D
And you are getting a typical male receding hairline!  It is amazing what T can do!  I never had enough of the stuff to see any of those results (in my case, lucky for me).
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: F_P_M on October 14, 2019, 06:04:26 am
omg Tony, sectorial heterochromia!

Super cool.

I admit the shoe size thing worries me. I LOVE my current shoes damnit, I don't wanna have to buy new shoes! lol. I hate shoe shopping sooo much.
ButI have tiny little pixie feet. I'm a UK size 4. Basically all of me stopped growing at 12. Bah.

T is magic though, I mean look at that magical stuff doing its thing!
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on October 16, 2019, 11:35:33 pm
Sometimes you manage to take a perfect selfie that makes you happy. I will now change my avatar. Again.

Good news. Last night at the bar, we talked about homosexuality, disabilities, transgender and norm breaking expressions at an education I’m on. I waited with excitement and a bit of fear for what was coming. They were ALL accepting. So, what did I do? I told them where I’m going. 

I told them! It was not hard. Maybe I’m pretty much over the mountain top. Now I just need to keep arms and legs inside the cart and enjoy the ride.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: LizK on October 17, 2019, 03:27:51 am
Yes! Half my right eye is brown! :D

Wow what a difference...you look so different from the first photo. If you hadn't pointed out the colour of your eye I wouldn't have noticed it.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Lexxi on October 17, 2019, 05:36:12 am
Yes! Half my right eye is brown! :D

Hi Tony,

Amazing transition!! I would not have guessed it was the same person in both of those pics. And OMG...I've never heard of someone having half of one of their eyes a different color. That is so cool!!!

Lookin' good by the way!!

xoxo
Lexxi
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: TonyaW on October 17, 2019, 06:27:03 am



I told them! It was not hard. Maybe I’m pretty much over the mountain top. Now I just need to keep arms and legs inside the cart and enjoy the ride.


Tony

Awesome.

 I'd say you're seat on the ride is pretty well secure, so stretch your legs and wave your  arms and have some fun.



Sent from my SM-G970U using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on October 20, 2019, 08:22:29 am
My voice is lower!!! I compared with the first day and after 5 months. I can hear a differance!

It is amazing!

Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Faith on October 20, 2019, 08:37:43 am
My voice is lower!!! I compared with the first day and after 5 months. I can hear a differance!

It is amazing!

Tony

 :) :)
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Maddie on October 23, 2019, 11:01:58 am
Glad you can see and hear differences Tony ;)
It is real!!
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on October 23, 2019, 12:46:03 pm
Did a mammogram today. I was nervous. Only two women in line before me. When I was called to the examination the nurse asked me if I am on hormones. I said ”Actually yes, on Testosterone. I’m transgender.” It just came out. I did not plan to say it. She said she was more interested in if I took any Estrogen.

She was so nice! She was gentle and we talked about transitioning. She told me to tell her if something was uncomfortable, that she could be more careful.

Best mammogram experience this far. I hope I don’t need to come back. Haha.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on October 24, 2019, 04:44:09 am
So. A discussion of voice made me remember voice pitch analyzer again. Compared my voice pre T. Ok. I AM lower. Anyone know how accurate this app is?



Pre T
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191024/b5906fc63b8c8f9a00dc21493fb04791.jpg)


5 months on T
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191024/236da8787304c378fca2b267f614a782.jpg)
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Linde on October 24, 2019, 08:24:44 am
I used it in the beginning, and it seems to be pretty OK, because real life recognition of my female voice was pretty close to what the analyzer said.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: F_P_M on October 24, 2019, 03:11:40 pm
I think it's fairly accurate, in that mine tells me my voice is all over the place in pitch lol. If nothing else it seems to be fairly consistant so i'd say any changes you can probably take as being true. Though I think the best demonstration would be recording your voice saying the same thing every couple of weeks and then compare after a few months the first and last.

I totally intend to do that hah.

For reference, my voice range using the vocal pitch analyzer is 154hz tp 259hz with an average of 210hz. My range is RIDICULOUS. It surges up over the female range and dips juuuust into male sometimes. I expect to see it reduce on T.

yours looks to have DEFINITELY sunk out of female range. Whoo!
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on October 29, 2019, 02:41:15 am
Time to come out for more people. People who need to know never ends. Feels like I know the entire world and noone talks to each other.

I was given an opportunity to take place in an executive committe at work. I said I need time to think. I’ve now been thinking for 4 days. I will leave this place to a girl. There’s only guys in the committe. We need to be more equal in all places at work. This means I need to come out and tell them why I vote for the girl instead of myself.  I am ready!


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on November 11, 2019, 08:47:25 am
Met a new woman at the local authority that gives my son help. She said ”are you E”? E is my son’s name. I pointed at my son. And she said ”oh”.

This woman was not as clumsy as the first one. She said ”You look so young, it was hard to know. ” lol. I don’t know if I should thank my good genes or blame her confusion about me presenting as a guy.

Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Linde on November 11, 2019, 09:57:43 am
. I don’t know if I should thank my good genes or blame her confusion about me presenting as a guy.

Tony
Young man, you don't present as a guy, you ARE a guy!
I tried to be a guy and failed bitterly, you are a guy and will not fail!

Hugs
Linde
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on November 11, 2019, 01:13:06 pm
Thank you Linde. Guess I needed to hear that. :)

Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on November 11, 2019, 01:41:34 pm
Someone at a member’s meeting at an non profit organisation came and sat next to me. She said ”Hi. You’re the one who’s hard to tell if you’re a man or a woman. What are you?” I was completely surprised and told her ”both atm”. she said ”Ok.” And that was that.

I’m not out to everyone there. I don’t know why. I think they will accept me as I am.

It’s an organisation for people with psychological health issues. Like depression, psychosis etc. I came in contact with them after my psychotic depression 10 years ago.

I’ll tell her next time I see her. It’s open every monday evening.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on November 17, 2019, 01:38:36 am
Had a strange dream tonight.

I told one of my managers at work that I am transgender. For some strange reason he was visiting me at my home. My husband got mad when I told him. He took his stuff and left.

Dreams are strange. Maybe this is what is occupying my mind at the moment. The fear of rejection and the longing for acceptance.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on November 17, 2019, 02:15:05 am
I have lost more weight!! Now only 9 kg to go before I can get in line for operations! I bought a new sweater. Size MEDIUM! I am out of size L and XL league! *happy*

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191117/5769735aa5244de7062635386e680a98.jpg)
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Perry on November 17, 2019, 09:24:19 am
Looking good Tony!
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Linde on November 17, 2019, 12:05:30 pm
I have lost more weight!! Now only 9 kg to go before I can get in line for operations! I bought a new sweater. Size MEDIUM! I am out of size L and XL league! *happy*

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191117/5769735aa5244de7062635386e680a98.jpg)
You look more manly than I ever did!
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on November 19, 2019, 05:27:37 am
Took a blood test today. For my endo appointment in two weeks. The lab lady reminded me I had undone blood tests in the computer. Ooops. I have RA and need regular checkups. Forgot it since...September?

It will be exciting to see T levels in my blood.
And if anything else has changed.

I can see test results on internet within 2 days.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on November 19, 2019, 05:29:42 am
Now I need to pull the plaster off my arm. It is so painful with hairy arms. Haha. I’d give birth 10 times to not pull the plaster.


Tony

Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on November 19, 2019, 03:00:12 pm
Excited! I might need to tell at work very soon. Like boobs are hard to hide, a beard coming along is also hard to hide. Or a 5 o’clock shadow.

I thought I had LOTS of peach fuzz when starting T. This pic is 7 months on T. I wonder where I am in 6 months.

I guess people need to know the bearded lady is not a lady.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191119/61f360c0842675a503ef25f0d41b5080.jpg)
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: AllieSF on November 19, 2019, 08:23:15 pm
Looking great.  Keep up the good work, and also work on keeping the work you have!

Allie
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on November 20, 2019, 01:00:07 pm
My friend told me today she could hear a slight differance in my voice. It was like the tone had changed to a more....flat tone?

I showed her pre T video. And she listened to my voice IRL. The girlish tones are vanishing.



Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on November 22, 2019, 02:45:59 pm
Got my blood test results back. I’m att 33 in T level. It’s a bit high i guess after some research. And then I’m only on half the dose the endo thought of putting me on from the beginning.

I apparently need to be between 10-30.
My SHBG is still low. Maybe that’s the reason? I will ask my endo.

Seeing my endo in 1,5 week.


Tony
Title: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on December 13, 2019, 03:56:08 pm
So my endo cancelled meeting. Have to wait for a new appointment. Not much to do about it.

Something fun and terrifying... christmas dinner at work! Tomorrow evening!

I have no idea what to wear.

What on earth do you wear at a x-mas party. Besides an ugly sweatshirt with bling bling that I won’t put on.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Linde on December 13, 2019, 04:08:32 pm
So my endo cancelled meeting. Have to wait for a new appointment. Not much to do about it.

Something fun and terrifying... christmas dinner at work! Tomorrow evening!

I have no idea what to wear.

What on earth do you wear at a x-mas party. Besides an ugly sweatshirt with bling bling that I won’t put on.


Tony
Do you have some kind of a dress code at work?
If not suit and tie, I would have worn some kind of nice khakis, a nice, sporty shirt and a V neck sweater over it.   If you have a green or red sweater, you've got it made!
Title: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Pammie on December 13, 2019, 04:11:52 pm
Do you have some kind of a dress code at work?
If not suit and tie, I would have worn some kind of nice khakis, a nice, sporty shirt and a V neck sweater over it.   If you have a green or red sweater, you've got it made!
Title: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on December 14, 2019, 01:18:02 am
Thanks Linde. I will check what I have at home. Don’t have money to buy anything new at all until my pay check comes. Had a parking fine yesterday. 110€. OUCH. I am stupid.

Suit and tie...naahh... managers wear that. Not us workers.

I have a few hours to think.



Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on December 14, 2019, 02:44:10 am
Found a Black shirt and dark blue jeans. That will do.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Ellie_Arroway on December 14, 2019, 08:26:30 am
Found a Black shirt and dark blue jeans. That will do.

That should be fine.

The men at the Christmas party I went to ranged from scruffy T-shifts and jeans to dinner jackets and bow ties. Some of them wore Christmas jumpers.

I've done all of those things when I was a man.

Ellie
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Linde on December 14, 2019, 10:00:50 am
Found a Black shirt and dark blue jeans. That will do.


Tony
That should be OK.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on December 14, 2019, 05:08:20 pm
It was a nice dinner. I don’t think I need to eat tomorrow.  Haha.

Unfortunately I forgot to take pics.

The shirt fit me better this year than last year. Losing weight. Yeah!


Tony

Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Lexxi on December 14, 2019, 08:34:10 pm
Excited! I might need to tell at work very soon. Like boobs are hard to hide, a beard coming along is also hard to hide. Or a 5 o’clock shadow.

I thought I had LOTS of peach fuzz when starting T. This pic is 7 months on T. I wonder where I am in 6 months.

I guess people need to know the bearded lady is not a lady.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191119/61f360c0842675a503ef25f0d41b5080.jpg)

Dang Tony you have much better hair coverage than I've ever had...by a big margin. I think once your hair starts to get thicker and darker you should go with a cool goatee. When I was trying to make people think I was manly I wanted one of those...but I never could grow one.

I'm happy you're starting to have the results you want.

xoxo
Lexxi
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on December 20, 2019, 01:57:32 am
I was at a meeting with my union. I introduced myself with both my birth name and my chosen name. I immediately got a question from one of the guys.

”What way are you going?”

I guess 8 months on T can make that question less obvious.

Everyone accepted me completely.

The reason I tell people both my names is that I need to sign papers at the meeting with my legal name.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on December 29, 2019, 12:50:13 am
Ok. This was expected. I’m getting depressed again. I only slept 2 hours tonight. I’ve been feeling more and more depressed. My depressions come and go.

I’m not suicidal - yet. Just feels like I don’t care if I’d die right now. I guess it’s a borderline depression going on atm.

I have not been depressed for 3 (?) Years. This is heavy. I don’t want to go back in the pit of doom.

I have an appointment with my psychiatrist in february. Should I try to see her earlier? I never learn my pattern. I don’t know how fast this escalates. I’m always in middle of hell when I realize I should have done something earlier.

The further I go, the less I am able to ask for help. Maybe this is the time. My only time to do something. I need to wait until tomorrow, everything is closed today.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Lexxi on December 29, 2019, 01:17:17 am
Hi Tony,

I'm so sorry that you're not feeling good. I've been there a time or two myself and know that it doesn't feel very good. Please know that you're not alone in this world. There are even people who you don't know in real life that care about you and your well being.

I think if it were me I'd try to get an appointment as early as possible. You mention that you don't know your pattern, and that tells me that you are aware that there are patterns that go along with our moods. I think it's good that you're aware that maybe this mood can be switched or turned around. I hope your therapist can help you discover what your pattern is.

I wish you all the luck in the world. Just please keep in mind that we're all in your corner and want you to get better.  :)

Lexxi
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on December 29, 2019, 01:33:58 am
Thanks Lexxi. I have a crisis plan somewhere. Where all my early signs of depression are. I just can’t find it. But I recognize this pattern:

I isolate from family.
Laugh much less.
Insomnia.
Thoughts of death.
Fatigue.
No hunger.

I guess I need to get to see my doc as soon as possible.



Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Ellie_Arroway on December 29, 2019, 04:57:45 am
Thanks Lexxi. I have a crisis plan somewhere. Where all my early signs of depression are. I just can’t find it. But I recognize this pattern:

I isolate from family.
Laugh much less.
Insomnia.
Thoughts of death.
Fatigue.
No hunger.

I guess I need to get to see my doc as soon as possible.

You've hit the nail on the head there.

Is there a service you can phone and talk to someone? That might help.

Hugs!

Ellie
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on December 29, 2019, 05:25:56 am
There is a phone number to call during weekends and holidays. But they only help those who are acute psychotic or suicidal. I’m not there right now.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Ellie_Arroway on December 29, 2019, 06:28:26 am
Could they direct you to an appropriate service?

Alternatively, is there a group that could help? You have us, at least!
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on December 29, 2019, 11:06:45 am
Thank you Ellie. Evening here now. I hope I get some sleep tonight.

Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Ellie_Arroway on January 02, 2020, 08:00:38 am
Hey @MeTony, how you doing buddy?

I hope you're feeling better. I haven't heard from you in a little while so I thought I'd give you a nudge.

Much hugs!
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on January 02, 2020, 10:49:14 am
Thank you Ellie. Hugs accepted. My doc has not called back yet. I’m down. Feel like I’m slowly drowning. My husband is worried.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on January 04, 2020, 02:06:16 pm
I have an appointment on Tuesday. With a psychiatrist.

I just feel so depressed now. Can’t hide it anymore.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Ellie_Arroway on January 04, 2020, 04:08:31 pm
@MeTony Hang on in there, brother... Thinking of you!

Thank you so much for posting. At least if you have the motivation for that, it's not as bad as it could be.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on January 06, 2020, 09:45:01 pm
Still breathing. 

See my doc at 3 PM today.



Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: JudiBlueEyes on January 06, 2020, 09:54:11 pm
Hang in there.  Talk to your husband and try to stay calm. The time will arrive soon.

Judi
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on January 06, 2020, 09:57:31 pm
He is on his way to work. 

The nurse will call me in the morning.

A friend who knows everything will come with me to the psychiatrist.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: JudiBlueEyes on January 06, 2020, 09:59:10 pm
Very good.   It seems you have a good network. 

Judi
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: JudiBlueEyes on January 07, 2020, 10:41:13 am
How are you feeling Tony? 
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on January 07, 2020, 10:49:33 am
I’m in hospital.  Taken care of. Closed ward.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MikaelaA on January 07, 2020, 12:12:28 pm
Hey Tony,

I'm glad to see you are being taken care of now.  I've been in that position more times than I would like to recall.  I hope you get better soon.  Take care.


With Love,

Michelle
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: JudiBlueEyes on January 07, 2020, 02:18:54 pm
Thank you for checking in with us.  I wish you my best.

Judi
Title: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on January 11, 2020, 12:44:16 am
Checking in. Still alive. Feel a bit better. Been drawing my demons. Good to put them on paper. Maybe they can leave me in peace.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Ellie_Arroway on January 11, 2020, 10:08:48 am
I hope so, Tony!

Look after yourself!
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on January 17, 2020, 12:06:20 am
Still breathing. Still locked up.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: JudiBlueEyes on January 17, 2020, 09:24:30 am
Thanks for checking in Tony.  Taking care of yourself is important.  You are important too.

Judi
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Rachel on January 18, 2020, 01:09:09 pm
Hi Tony,

Hang in there, I hope you are sleeping well.

Rachel
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on January 24, 2020, 07:27:59 am
Still breathing. Locked up. Feeling a little bit better.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MikaelaA on January 24, 2020, 07:35:23 am
It's great to hear you are feeling a little bit better.  I hope your progress continues.


Take care,

Michelle
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: JudiBlueEyes on January 24, 2020, 08:32:55 am
Thank you for letting us know how you are doing.  Keep up the work.  We're all pulling with you.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: RandyL on January 24, 2020, 11:48:18 am
Tony, it brings tears to my eyes thinking about the pain you're in. I'm glad you're feeling a little better and I hope you're able to return to an optimistic place soon.

Almost everybody here has gone through their own tough times and we can relate to what you're feeling. It helps me to see that many have found their way through to a happier place. It remains my own goal.

Take care and know that you have our love and hugs. Randy

Sent from my Pixel 3a using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on January 24, 2020, 09:48:55 pm
Thank you people.

It’s still a struggle to survive. But I can see shades of gray instead of just heavy darkness.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Maddie on January 28, 2020, 11:18:10 pm
Hi Tony.
Thinking of you and wanting you to be all right
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Lexxi on February 01, 2020, 05:17:11 am
Hi Tony,

I sure hope you're feeling better! I miss seeing your posts.

Hang in there bud,

xoxo
Lexxi
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on February 01, 2020, 11:25:17 pm
Still in here. Changed meds on tuesday. Feelin a lot better. I wonder if you can go from suicidal to feeling like a god in just 5 days. Need to ask the doctor tomorrow.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Rachel on February 01, 2020, 11:45:30 pm
Hi Tony, it is awesome that you are feeling better. I hope you continue to progress well.

Rachel
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Ellie_Arroway on February 02, 2020, 06:41:15 am
Still in here. Changed meds on tuesday. Feelin a lot better. I wonder if you can go from suicidal to feeling like a god in just 5 days. Need to ask the doctor tomorrow.

That's great to hear! Wonderful news! Thank you so much for keeping us in the loop! :)
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on February 03, 2020, 02:55:20 pm
Now I’m down again. Something happened. I have trouble with suicidal thinking. The thoughts are so strong. The doc knows this. But I aiming on getting home on thursday.

My doc wants me to try ECT. Starting next week. Electricity in the brain. To get rid of this depression that hit its claws in me.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Ellie_Arroway on February 04, 2020, 01:15:33 pm
So sorry to hear that @MeTony. Thinking of you.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on February 05, 2020, 11:36:27 pm
I will try ECT. I have no energy left to want to survive. Last thing to try. I’m still in here.

Ride the lightning!


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Maddie on February 06, 2020, 08:08:54 am
Tony hope something helps you feel like living .
Sorry you're in this. Hang on please.
Hugs
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Sonja on February 06, 2020, 04:38:29 pm
I will try ECT. I have no energy left to want to survive. Last thing to try. I’m still in here.

Ride the lightning!


Tony
Hang in there Tony - You've helped a lot of people out on this site that were facing severe difficulty,  I hope you can pull yourself out of this in a healthy way. Keep moving forward!

Thinking of you!

Sonja.
Title: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on February 20, 2020, 02:12:01 pm
So. Still alive. After a suicide attempt last week they got me into some science program. rTMS. Electromagnetic waves in my left side of the brain. dorsolateral prefrontalcortex  or what ever. They are still researching this.

This is instead of ECT. The electric stuff.

First time i did it I felt like myself for two minutes. This gave me enough hope to keep fighting.

I have also told everyone that I’m transgender here at the hospital. Big bonus. Now I can be myself. Now that depression will leave me.

Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Ellie_Arroway on February 21, 2020, 02:49:36 am
Thank you Tony for checking in with us. I'm glad to hear that you have at least removed the burden of transgender secrecy from the issues. I remember feeling much better a little while after I had come out to my workplace in general.

I hope these EM waves continue to help you!
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Maddie on February 21, 2020, 07:56:00 am
Hi Tony :)

Goodbye depression!!!
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: JudiBlueEyes on February 21, 2020, 09:05:10 am
Thank you for the update Tony.  It sounds like things are looking better. 
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: randim on February 21, 2020, 10:03:24 am
Tony,

I haven't been following your thread.  I am so sorry that you are struggling. I have no brilliant words of wisdom, but please know people are thinking of you and pulling for you, and hoping things are improving for you.  Much fellow-traveler stranger-love sent your way.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Jeanne on February 23, 2020, 09:14:16 am
Keep going, Tony.  Best wishes for the ECT, and good for you that the staff are so accepting.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Rachel on February 24, 2020, 06:55:38 pm
Hi Tony,

I am glad you are getting help. We all should have help when we need it. I know I had my fair share and then some.

You should be proud of yourself and celebrate coming out in the hospital.

Rachel

Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on March 02, 2020, 02:37:57 pm
I get to go home from hospital at Wednesday. I’m so happy.

I will need to take a serious talk with my husband when I finally get home. Either he accepts me for who I am or we will need to go separate ways.

I can’t afford another turn in suicide land. Next time might be the last. It was a close shave this time.

It will be emotional and tough. But something I really really need to do.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Ellie_Arroway on March 25, 2020, 04:03:34 am
@MeTony

Haven't heard from you for a couple of weeks, brother.

Hope you are OK... please check in so those who care will know!
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on March 25, 2020, 07:04:20 am
Hi. Thank you. Still in quarantine at home. Day 14. Coughing. But everything else is ok now.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on March 25, 2020, 07:07:25 am
Becoming a bit bored. Planning and hosting webmeetings with the different organizations I’m in.

14 days. Still not ok. I hate this cough. Have to sleep sitting up. Waking every hour from coughing.

Don’t know if I have Corona. They don’t test people here unless you’re in hospital. But they all treat me like I have Corona.

Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Maddie on March 25, 2020, 12:54:26 pm
If your coughing it's better safe than sorry.  My neighbors are coughing and I won't visit people in case I'm carrying it and don't know.
You are in a bad spot and I feel for you.    If you go back to a hospital you're just exposing your own compromised system, even if you didn't have it already. 

Tony, you're in such a place of changes.  Please hang on for and through them.

At least you can keep web-working for now.  Not that that sounds fun or uplifting. But it's something to do.

And please recover soon, at least enough to get some sleep.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on March 25, 2020, 02:45:17 pm
Yes. Thank you. I am in bed now. Tired. It’s just 8:45 PM. But I need to listen to my body.

Just checking all the messages before I sleep.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on March 31, 2020, 12:46:07 pm
I told HR at work that I’m a guy. He smiled and shouted ”How exciting!” He knew what it was and asked me if I was going to do correctional surgeries. I said yes.

He asked when I am ready to come out yo my coworkers. I said soon.

YES!


/Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: CynthiaAnn on March 31, 2020, 02:40:29 pm
I told HR at work that I’m a guy. He smiled and shouted ”How exciting!” He knew what it was and asked me if I was going to do correctional surgeries. I said yes.

He asked when I am ready to come out yo my coworkers. I said soon.

YES!


/Tony

How exciting Tony ! an important step to be sure, may it go well  :)

C
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Ellie_Arroway on April 01, 2020, 03:13:27 am
It's GREAT to see what you've posted there, Tony! It sounds like you're on the mend! :)
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on April 01, 2020, 09:05:07 am
Yes. Thank you. I am feeling well again. I really hope it was Covid-19 that hit me 2,5 weeks ago. I’ve been ok since almost a week back. Been at work for the second day today.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on April 02, 2020, 08:57:09 am
I was at a funeral today. My uncle had died.

I met an elderly woman there 70+, a friend of my uncle. We talked for about a half hour. Then se asked me if my wife wasn’t coming to the funeral.

I said, no, my husband is at home. She looked surprised and said ”Oh, whatever makes you happy is ok.”

Hahaha. We talked for over 30 minutes and she still gendered me right.



Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: RandyL on April 02, 2020, 01:07:32 pm
Wonderful for being gendered correctly! And congratulations on making the decision to come out at work.

Sent from my Pixel 3a using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Maddie on April 02, 2020, 05:23:07 pm
Very cool Tony. 
I would have no doubt, and see it in your photos... but after 30 min in person!!
That is so real
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on April 03, 2020, 12:17:56 am
Maddie. Yes. It felt amazing.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on April 28, 2020, 01:36:29 pm
I’m so happy. I am planning to go on a 50-70 km hike in three weeks. 3 days out in the forest. It will be so nice. We are 3 people hiking. Nice evenings by a lake.

Best of all, the trail starts just around the corner.

Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MikaelaA on April 29, 2020, 11:08:25 am
I’m so happy. I am planning to go on a 50-70 km hike in three weeks. 3 days out in the forest. It will be so nice. We are 3 people hiking. Nice evenings by a lake.

Best of all, the trail starts just around the corner.

Tony


Hi Tony,  It's great hear you're in a much better place now.  I hope you enjoy your time away in the forest.


--Michelle
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on May 02, 2020, 12:58:01 pm
Hiked 13,2 km today. My legs hurt. I had a pretty high pace. 4,9 km/h on average.

The doc told me to walk a lot. It will help me lose weight and I’ll keep myself away from high cholesterol and diabetes. I’m not in risk for diabetes just now. But I have close relatives with diabetes.

Maybe I took her words too seriously.

No pain when I’m still, but when I move...ouch!



Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: RandyL on May 02, 2020, 02:09:10 pm
Hey Tony, no pain no gain! I mean yes ouch! but after a day or a few days you'll feel so much better and be ready to go again.I love to challenge myself (up to a point anyway ).

Sent from my Pixel 3a using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on May 03, 2020, 12:23:33 am
You’re right RandyL. No pain no gain. I’ll be hiking 70km in three weeks. Just keep going.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on May 05, 2020, 10:03:05 am
In practice. Been hiking 13,7 km today. My feet ache  but no pain no gain.


I’ll weigh myself in two weeks. To see if my hiking gives any result.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Ellie_Arroway on May 05, 2020, 11:12:47 am
In practice. Been hiking 13,7 km today. My feet ache  but no pain no gain.

I’ll weigh myself in two weeks. To see if my hiking gives any result.

Congrats!

No pain no gain is a myth, though, I believe... and you may find that you have gained weight by becoming more muscular. (I'm unclear as to whether that was your intention.)
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on May 05, 2020, 11:55:18 am
Nope. Losing weight. But muscles burn fat. I want muscles too.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Ellie_Arroway on May 05, 2020, 12:16:25 pm
Nope. Losing weight. But muscles burn fat. I want muscles too.

Correct. Good luck!
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on May 10, 2020, 02:11:52 pm
I’m making this hiking thing a good habit. Been out today too. But today I was out hiking with other transgender people. Both adults, kids and dogs.

It was rainy today. Lucky me I got my rainjacket with me. Some crazy kids took a swim in the water.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20200510/b3d33266b5e313e0b6132034dcc4bd85.jpg)
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Maddie on May 12, 2020, 08:13:45 pm
Good to be with people!  I also hiked today. 
Went around town and through some woods.
Still plenty of uprooted broken trees from a tornado here last summer.
I did not jump in the river
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on May 16, 2020, 11:30:20 am
Nice Maddie. Forest gives you energy.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Rachel on May 16, 2020, 08:25:53 pm
Hi, I did about 3 miles today and I think I will do 5 miles tomorrow. It was warm today. I saw some big carp in the creek; there were a lot of people fishing for trout. The stream is stocked.

I agree, the woods regenerates you. I have some great pics of a mama fox.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on May 17, 2020, 12:51:04 am
Rachel. I also take pics of everything. Small and big.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on May 31, 2020, 04:18:33 am
It is 20 degrees out. Today is the first time I will go outside in shorts - without shaving my legs. Goals!

I wear a binder. My voice gives me away. But that’s the way it is now. Stuck in the middle-world.

Me and my oldest son will go on a trip to hear about spies and Swedish war history. 4-5 hours.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Maddie on May 31, 2020, 11:37:14 am
Hello from across middle world Tony

Congratulations on progress to your goals. ( Shorts...).
May the beard you shared before continue to fill in, it suits you.

Enjoy the man time with your son
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on May 31, 2020, 12:28:46 pm
Thank you.

It went well. Was a bit confusing to start with. I was checked off at the list of visitors. The guy looked surprised at me when I told him my female name that I had told him beforehand.
But then just said ”ok”.

Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on May 31, 2020, 01:52:30 pm
It’s because I have not legally changed my name yet.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on June 11, 2020, 11:18:18 pm
Yesterday HR started chatting with me. She was curious about how my transition goes. If I needed help and she said I am brave to do this, to be true to myself.

It feels good to have HR keeping my back.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on June 22, 2020, 04:43:33 pm
Have not shaved my legs since last summer. Been walking around in shorts for lie a month. Noone has commented anything. It’s just all in my head.



Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on June 27, 2020, 09:23:17 am
Found a cool filter on Snap. Can’t wait for this. Patience. Patience. The beard is growing. This might be reality next year.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20200627/7f4c4a71a36b1a35b92e8fdb769641bf.jpg)
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Northern Star Girl on June 27, 2020, 09:28:05 am
Found a cool filter on Snap. Can’t wait for this. Patience. Patience. The beard is growing. This might be reality next year.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20200627/7f4c4a71a36b1a35b92e8fdb769641bf.jpg)

@MeTony
Dear Tony:
You are Looking Good !!!!!!  Thank you for sharing your photo.
Along with your other followers I have been reading your blog/thread and have enjoyed following your journey as you keep us all updated.

HUGS and best wishes as you continue on.

Danielle
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: RandyL on June 27, 2020, 12:22:43 pm
Yes, waiting for the beard to fill in. Takes such patience. Such a quintessentially male thing to go through! Just the waiting alone makes you one of the guys! I'm sure you'll be happy with it before long.

Sent from my dual-floppy Victor 9000 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Rachel on June 28, 2020, 03:35:52 pm
I hope it grows fast.

I am going the opposite way.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on July 02, 2020, 04:37:18 am
Registered myself at the barber shop. The barber had to help me out. Did not understad what to do. He helped me out. So now I am registered as a man.

He ticked the ”man box” without hesitation.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: RandyL on July 02, 2020, 09:11:34 am
Ok, registering at the barber. I've not heard of that before. Is it because of covid? Or is the barber your medical provider like in the old days (back when I was young )?

Anyway congrats on that and on being seen as your true self

Sent from my dual-floppy Victor 9000 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on July 02, 2020, 12:38:05 pm
Membership or something. They register customers that don’t come at drop in. I booked a time for my hair cut.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Ellie_Arroway on July 02, 2020, 01:45:26 pm
Have not shaved my legs since last summer. Been walking around in shorts for lie a month. Noone has commented anything. It’s just all in my head.

Tony, how much do you notice other people in public? If you notice something odd about someone, do you care?

I'm convinced the answer is no for nearly everybody. It's rare for someone to comment about me, and when they do, it becomes clear that they were afraid to say anything in case it offended me.

That must be pushing your confidence through the roof, which is great!
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on July 02, 2020, 11:36:07 pm
Ellie. Thank you. It’s my mom’s voice in my head. ”You can’t go out like THAT!!” She has forced me to shave. This was some years ago, but stuff sometimes gets stuck. Annoying.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Maddie on July 10, 2020, 03:37:49 pm
Glad you are free to not shave Tony!

Congratulations for bring automatically checked in the man box.  Not surprised

That filter photo is an exciting preview  :)
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on July 26, 2020, 01:25:00 pm
They say that you feelings are reflected in other people.

There is this dude, who tries to control me. He pushes all my buttons and I get annoyed and feel like I don’t want to be close to him.

We don’t know each other very well. I don’t let him control me. But yet he tries. On messenger and facebook.

I don’t know why I get so annoyed. I could just let it be. Not care. But I do care.

I wonder how he can make me have all these negative feelings.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Ellie_Arroway on July 26, 2020, 03:51:26 pm
They say that you feelings are reflected in other people.

There is this dude, who tries to control me. He pushes all my buttons and I get annoyed and feel like I don’t want to be close to him.

We don’t know each other very well. I don’t let him control me. But yet he tries. On messenger and facebook.

I don’t know why I get so annoyed. I could just let it be. Not care. But I do care.

Can't you block him?

I'd do that in a heartbeat. Any sign of anthing bad, one warning. After that, permanent block.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Maddie on July 26, 2020, 09:18:58 pm
Sometimes I've intentionally not reacted to people like that.  Ignored them away.
Sounds like limp advice but it's worked for me,  and people went away.

Maybe you'd rather turn the table and own them somehow.

Calm controlled strength.  Deeper reserve.   Resistance response to pressure.  Man power.  Tony.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on July 27, 2020, 03:44:59 pm
Problem is, he’s my friend’s boyfriend.

Don’t want to cut her off too.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Maddie on July 27, 2020, 04:22:55 pm
It figures that it had to be complicated like that.

Hang in.
Fist bump.
Title: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on July 28, 2020, 01:54:18 am
Maybe he is jealous? Because his girlfriend and me are friends? Maybe it’s his self esteem doing this.

I’ll try not to get annoyed.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on July 28, 2020, 02:19:51 am
Oh yes!!!! I talked to my Grand mother just a minute ago. She said, ”Is this really you?? You don’t sound like yourself.”

It is finally happening. Someone else, who you don’t talk to very often, can hear a differance!

Now I’m happy.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Ellie_Arroway on July 29, 2020, 04:14:58 pm
Oh yes!!!! I talked to my Grand mother just a minute ago. She said, ”Is this really you?? You don’t sound like yourself.”

It is finally happening. Someone else, who you don’t talk to very often, can hear a differance!

Now I’m happy.


Tony

I'm far too old to have that experience, but I would like a similar experience with my wife and daughter someday! :)

Congratulations!
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on August 02, 2020, 10:24:55 am
Playing around with my phone. Made a new profile pic. This is how I look. Just over 1 year on T. FaceApp recognizes me as male 100% of the time.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20200802/0d2f2075c05bb87a95f2327d51891690.jpg)


I was celebrating online Pride yesterday with some friends. I put THIS picture, below, on Facebook. Noone has commented anything about being trans but I have 50 likes. Those who knows the flag knows. The rest just ”oh, pretty colors”. Haha.


(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20200802/9b9e2b6eae976bde25fb3d4fbc02288a.jpg)


Soon. Sooon. Completely out. Small steps.

Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on August 02, 2020, 10:40:07 pm
Husband has stopped saying ”hugs and kisses” maybe this is it.

I cut my hair yesterday. He said ”You don’t have long hair!!” With a hurt voice. I said ”Yes I do.” I cut my hair 5 weeks ago.

He did not like my pride picture on facebook nor my profile pics.

This is it. It is what it is. I need to go my way. If he does not want to walk by my side, we need to go separate ways.

*sigh* these things are never easy.


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: RandyL on August 04, 2020, 05:01:20 pm
Good luck Tony. This is indeed hard. Hugs, Randy

Sent from my dual-floppy Victor 9000 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on August 19, 2020, 02:08:35 am
Voice is dropping.

Not extremely much yet. But it is happening.

First my grandmother did not recognize me.

Today a seller from a callcenter asked for me twice during our short conversation. Haha


Tony
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on August 23, 2020, 02:40:10 pm
All exercise is good exercise. This was very fun and exhausting. Kayaking! I love it. Will do this more often.

I’ve lost 3 kg in two weeks. 8 more to go before I can get in line for operations. But I’m getting there.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20200823/09c9da257bf9b36d297c151d933bea90.jpg)


(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20200823/bb5eb69a3906682c9afbff89ca465dac.jpg)
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: MeTony on October 17, 2020, 01:08:57 am
Long time sonce I wrote anything.

I have a BMI of 33. I’m to heavy for surgery in Sweden. BUT I might have found a path for removing my chest anyway. I found a private clinic doing it.

I will go there in 7 weeks for a checkup. All I need to do now is to cough up 7000€.

I will quit my saving account for my retirement. It only adds 20€ each month on my retirement pay. It does more good now. That’s about 2000€ after taxes.

I get good paycheck this month. Too much overtime. Maybe I can add another 500€ on the stack.

2500€. 4500€ is missing. My sister said she could help me out with little cash. Maybe my mom too. Then I need to take a loan on the rest.


I hope so much for this. It’s like the next step.
Title: Re: Tony’s T travel
Post by: Megan. on October 17, 2020, 03:00:07 am


Long time sonce I wrote anything.

I have a BMI of 33. I’m to heavy for surgery in Sweden. BUT I might have found a path for removing my chest anyway. I found a private clinic doing it.

I will go there in 7 weeks for a checkup. All I need to do now is to cough up 7000€.

I will quit my saving account for my retirement. It only adds 20€ each month on my retirement pay. It does more good now. That’s about 2000€ after taxes.

I get good paycheck this month. Too much overtime. Maybe I can add another 500€ on the stack.

2500€. 4500€ is missing. My sister said she could help me out with little cash. Maybe my mom too. Then I need to take a loan on the rest.


I hope so much for this. It’s like the next step.

Good luck with it all Tony, nice to hear from you.

I had a 32 BMI back in June, but have it down under 29 now using protein shakes to help me keep my calorie intake down. X

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