Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Jane.Shannon on October 09, 2020, 10:35:43 pm

Title: Childhood?
Post by: Jane.Shannon on October 09, 2020, 10:35:43 pm
How do you refer to your childhood?

I feel unauthentic using the "when I was a little girl..." But I don't really want to use "when I was a little boy..."  I find myself saying, "when i was a kid or a child..."
Title: Re: Childhood?
Post by: Northern Star Girl on October 09, 2020, 10:57:52 pm
How do you refer to your childhood?

I feel unauthentic using the "when I was a little girl..." But I don't really want to use "when I was a little boy..."  I find myself saying, "when i was a kid or a child..."

@Jane.Shannon
Dear Jane:
I mostly agree with you regarding referring to myself when I was younger and growing up as a kid or as a child ...and not necessarily specifying gender.  ...
.....  However
Most every person in my wide circle of friends and most people in my small town are aware my past life before I relocated here just a month after I went full-time  to start my woman-owned small business. 

In some conversations I do talk about when I was younger and was a young boy in school.... that kind of conversation doesn't make me feel any more or less authentic....  it is the truth and I embrace the fact that I made a life-changing decision that made me happy and fulfilled. 
I pleasantly find that most people are certainly inquisitive at first, and almost all are very supportive and accepting.

Thank you for sharing your viewpoint on the subject.
HUGS,
Danielle
Title: Re: Childhood?
Post by: Rakel on October 10, 2020, 05:40:30 am
I just say "when I was younger" or something like that. I leave out the gender reference.

I am semi-stealth, open to friends and family, but not everybody. I don't see any reason to out myself to strangers.
Title: Re: Childhood?
Post by: TSL_NB on October 10, 2020, 07:32:37 am
By habit, I refer to my age in those kinds of conversations (ex. 'When I was six years old....').

Title: Re: Childhood?
Post by: Oldandcreaky on October 10, 2020, 07:40:14 am
I played with other girls, I collected rhinestones and doilies, I craved an Easy Bake Oven, and I even rode a girl's bike. I had a de facto girlhood.
Title: Re: Childhood?
Post by: pamelatransuk on October 10, 2020, 08:57:55 am
Hello Jane

Either I follow the same practice as you or the same practice as TSL_NB.

Hugs

Pamela xx
Title: Re: Childhood?
Post by: Make97 on October 17, 2020, 07:45:01 am
I say something like "when I was little kid or "pentu" as we say in Finnish. Definelty feels strange and wrong to refer myself as a little girl but I'm pretty much in the closet about this so it happens a lot.
Title: Re: Childhood?
Post by: MeTony on October 17, 2020, 09:06:42 am
I say kid. ”When I was a kid I put the lawn outside school on fire.” ”When I was a kid I did build my own bike from parts I found outdoors.”

Never said ”me and the other girls” or anything like that. I did not even have girls as friends. I thought they were boring, overly sensetive and hated soccer. Especially when I kicked a ball in someone’s stomach and they started crying and never wanted to play with me again.

Oh well. You can’t be loved by everyone.
Title: Re: Childhood?
Post by: barbie on October 17, 2020, 11:54:28 am
How do you refer to your childhood?

I feel unauthentic using the "when I was a little girl..." But I don't really want to use "when I was a little boy..."  I find myself saying, "when i was a kid or a child..."

Interesting. In my native language (Korean), there are various words for boy and girl, but most people use genderless nouns when denoting childhood like "kids" and "children" in English. When calling customers in the store, we also use genderless nouns more frequently than gender-specific ones. This became a trend partly because of the influence of feminism.

barbie~~
Title: Re: Childhood?
Post by: Nadine Spirit on October 18, 2020, 07:31:43 am
I have had a difficult time in having those around me gender me properly.  Sadly, it is only those who I know and actually care about that struggle.  It appears as though to everyone who does not know my past, that I pass wonderfully.  However for family, friends, and coworkers what I frequently here is "I'm sorry, it's just that I knew you as a man for so long, it is really hard for me to gender you properly now." 

So...... recently I told them all, stop thinking of me as ever existing as a male, as I never have been.  Even though I may have been presenting differently than I am now, I have always been female.  Thus I asked them to try and "lie" for me, and always refer to me as having been female for my entire life.  I only quote lie as it appears to be a lie for them, but not for me as I understand my truth.  Being as I asked that of them, I expect the same for myself and I have begun referring to myself as having grown up female. 
Title: Re: Childhood?
Post by: Oldandcreaky on October 18, 2020, 10:03:27 am
I say kid. ”When I was a kid I put the lawn outside school on fire.” ”When I was a kid I did build my own bike from parts I found outdoors.”

Never said ”me and the other girls” or anything like that. I did not even have girls as friends. I thought they were boring, overly sensetive and hated soccer. Especially when I kicked a ball in someone’s stomach and they started crying and never wanted to play with me again.

Oh well. You can’t be loved by everyone.

Pity we weren't neighbors, Tony. I could have traded my Daisy BB gun, a gift from my dad, for your Easy Bake Oven or its equivalent.
Title: Re: Childhood?
Post by: MeTony on October 18, 2020, 01:15:11 pm
Pity we weren't neighbors, Tony. I could have traded my Daisy BB gun, a gift from my dad, for your Easy Bake Oven or its equivalent.
Ooopss. Never had those toys. My grandmother insisted on buying me a dollhouse. Mom sad ”don’t do that” over and over. Buuuut grandmother was stubborn and bought me a dollhouse anyway. 

I said. Cool. A new garage for på trucks and cars!

Dolls? My baby sister got them. I had Luke Skywalker action figure. It was my only doll.


Skickat från min iPhone med Tapatalk
Title: Re: Childhood?
Post by: Oldandcreaky on October 18, 2020, 06:56:43 pm
Tony, you did a great job of standing your ground and living an authentic childhood.
Title: Re: Childhood?
Post by: CarlyMcx on October 19, 2020, 03:52:19 am
Just because I looked like a boy, was forcibly raised as one, and tried my best to do boyish things to prove myself, does not mean that I ever was a boy.

I was a little girl.  And there were plenty of times when I did girlish things.  For example, I played concert flute.

I always say, “When I was a girl,” or “When I was a little girl.”

Because I was a girl.  And I still am.
Title: Re: Childhood?
Post by: SailorMooo on October 25, 2020, 09:19:36 pm
How do you refer to your childhood?

I feel unauthentic using the "when I was a little girl..." But I don't really want to use "when I was a little boy..."  I find myself saying, "when i was a kid or a child..."

Hey Jane.Shannon, i refer to myself as she/her when i was a child or by gender neutral labels.. "when i was a child" "a kid" "a teen" or "growing up" simply because nobody will recognize me or know who i truly was all the time. I am true and live a good life now, but it is still a sense of dysphoria and disrespect to label myself anything else. That little girl went through what most do not and she had to prove herself as a teen and now as an adult.

Thanks for post and question,

 SailorMooo
Title: Re: Childhood?
Post by: Virelai on October 31, 2020, 10:47:08 pm
I generally don't gender myself in such contexts, but I think that's part of me just finding ways to word talking about me without a gender since I couldn't refer to myself as female throughout all of the years.

In reality, I have no problem saying "When I was a little girl", because I was a little girl, even though people didn't realize it. Heck, I even have a drawing from when I was super young where I said I was a girl, and my aunt attests to me talking about it way back then, so... It was so back then.
Title: Re: Childhood?
Post by: Ryuichi13 on November 01, 2020, 11:31:19 am
I say "when I was younger."

It feels weird to say that, knowing that I'm nearly 59 now! 

Get offa my lawn!

Ryuichi

Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Childhood?
Post by: Margrit on November 01, 2020, 01:22:08 pm
I say "when I was younger" or "when I was a kid".... something like that, I leave out the gender reference.
Title: Re: Childhood?
Post by: Lady Sarah on November 01, 2020, 08:21:53 pm
Nobody notices the shortcut when i say "when i was little".
Title: Re: Childhood?
Post by: SailorMooo on November 02, 2020, 06:48:37 pm
Nobody notices the shortcut when i say "when i was little".

Lady Sarah lols cute  :D