Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transitioning => Topic started by: Jessica on January 15, 2018, 09:25:05 pm

Title: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 15, 2018, 09:25:05 pm
Hi friends 🙋‍♀️  It’s been suggested that I start a thread to chronicle my transition on my gender fluid road that I’m on. 
It’s been 6 months since I’ve started HT, but it’s been 44 years since wondering who I am.  My desire to have a more feminine demeanor and appearance has kept me going through mental ups and downs.  Support from many friends here at Susan’s has been an unmeasurable help, just from having their views of their experiences to reflect on.
There has been mental and physical changes I’ve experienced.  Nothing that is so dramatic that it has changed who I am.  I have lived my life knowing that some of my mannerisms are not what typical males do, but I never really cared.  So the mental change is more of not caring and just feel more at ease.  The physical changes are an 1” of breast and hip dimensions each.  My boobs are starting to show, but I’m not very concerned about it.  The hips (butt) really doesn’t show much.
Recently, after doubling my dosage, I’ve experienced more ups and downs with my fluid nature.  I have never hated my male self, but I am more on the female end of the spectrum.  So I am still on the road to becoming who I am.

Thanks for listening, love you all, Jessica 💁‍♀️
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on January 15, 2018, 09:34:25 pm
Hi Jess,

  Well! It's about time little sister. I thought I was going to have to come down that way to personally slap you up the side of the head. I know you are in the bay area and I have lived down that way so I also know you are not that far from Michelle's. So I can do that you know.... There will be a visit with Michelle and we damn well better get together then too. I'm going to be counting the numbers of slap I need to deliver to you.
  Anyway girl, we may have started out a little rough but our friendship is still growing. I am glad you started this saga and look forward to reading of your journey's adventures.

((Hugs)),
   Laurie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 15, 2018, 09:53:05 pm
Thank you Laurie.  If it wasn’t for you and a number of other girls here, it wouldn’t have been as easy.  As if easy is a term we can put to it.  I don’t think of our start rough at all, but that little dust up of mine got us closer didn’t it!  I think when you visit Michelle, it would be nice to meet face to face.  Hopefully Michelle will be up to me being there though.

Smiles and hugs, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on January 15, 2018, 09:54:59 pm
Who are you calling a hag, girl?  (That's one)
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 15, 2018, 09:56:18 pm
Who are you calling a hag, girl?  (That's one)

I fixed that typo, damn autocorrect
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: tgirlamg on January 15, 2018, 10:28:01 pm
Hey Jessica!!!

🎉🎉🎉🍾Congrats and Kudos for the launch of your thread!!!🍾🎉🎉🎉... I am jumping on board so I can have bragging rights when they make the thread based movie, and I can say I got in on the ground floor!!!

Onward we go my friend!!!

Yer Sista'😀❤️🌻

PS... When they make the movie, I would like Nicole Kidman to play me 💁
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 15, 2018, 11:14:06 pm
Hey Jessica!!!

🎉🎉🎉🍾Congrats and Kudos for the launch of your thread!!!🍾🎉🎉🎉... I am jumping on board so I can have bragging rights when they make the thread based movie, and I can say I got in on the ground floor!!!

Onward we go my friend!!!

Yer Sista'😀❤️🌻

PS... When they make the movie, I would like Nicole Kidman to play me 💁

Sounds like fun Ashley!  Nicole would do you justice!  Too bad Inger Stevens (The Farmer’s Daughter), has passed.  She was the first female I viewed as akin to myself and I would love her to be me.  Would Laurie be “Sweet Sue” (Beanstalk!) from “Some like it Hot”?  But of course we can’t time travel. 
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: tgirlamg on January 15, 2018, 11:57:44 pm
Sounds like fun Ashley!  Nicole would do you justice!  Too bad Inger Stevens (The Farmer’s Daughter), has passed.  She was the first female I viewed as akin to myself and I would love her to be me.  Would Laurie be “Sweet Sue” (Beanstalk!) from “Some like it Hot”?  But of course we can’t time travel.

If we go all time machine on this deal, I may need Brigitte Bardot or maybe even Barbara Eden in the role....😀
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 16, 2018, 09:09:16 am
Hi girls 🙋‍♀️  I am writing this thread to highlight events during my transition.  While at Susan’s there have been periodic highlights, waiting 5 weeks to be welcomed was actually a lowlight, but it showed me how important the first greeting can be.  One of my highlights has been asked to be an official greeter here and I just noticed I have that title under my name.  I don’t go looking for props, but it does make me feel cared for.

Smiles, Jessica 💁‍♀️
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Julia1996 on January 16, 2018, 12:17:30 pm
Talking to people here has been a huge help for me too. Some people think because I transitioned young and have good support from my family, that I don't or shouldn't have any problems. That's totally not true at all. I look forward to following your thread.😊
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 17, 2018, 08:23:29 am
Another highlight I’ve had was achieving, through FaceApp, an avatar that looks so like me it made me cry.  I know others haven’t had success with that app, but it worked for me.  It does have a lot to do with the original picture.  With me it showed I only needed fat redistribution in my cheeks.

Smiles, Jessica
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: HappyMoni on January 17, 2018, 08:40:10 am
Jess,
   You waited 5 weeks to be welcomed? I don't understand. Well, I'll welcome you now if that's okay? I might even go as far as to greet you, not officially, of course. You got to be someone special to be official you know. I will now duck and cover like we did back in school since Laurie will probably come after me and tell you I need to be caught with a butterfly net. (How appropriate that would be.) Anyway, congrats on the thread.
Monica
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: tgirlamg on January 17, 2018, 10:29:15 am
Jess,
   You waited 5 weeks to be welcomed? I don't understand. Well, I'll welcome you now if that's okay? I might even go as far as to greet you, not officially, of course. You got to be someone special to be official you know. I will now duck and cover like we did back in school since Laurie will probably come after me and tell you I need to be caught with a butterfly net. (How appropriate that would be.) Anyway, congrats on the thread.
Monica

Moni...

I am glad you recognize that “official” greeting is something best left to the licensed, well seasoned professional.... I have born grim witness to the devastation that can occur when amateurs think they can wing it” because their mother always told them they were talented and maybe they could be an official greeter some day... Not only is it not a pretty sight but, it is also the 3rd most common cause of death in Ecuador right after llama trampling...

After the “5 weeks” incident... Jessica had a dream that no one else would ever go officially ungreeted!

Jessica studied long and hard to get where she is... Not just graduating greeting school but graduating first in her class without her parents paying for a new wing on the administration building... She did it with guts and determination!  On the heels of the years of long study came the post grad work... the internships... the residency program... the list goes on

I, for one, will sleep better with the knowledge we have a professional at the helm!


Jessica... I officially welcome you to the position of official greeter!!!

(I hope I don’t get in trouble for welcoming without a license but my mother always said I had a talent for welcoming)

Hugs!!!

A 😀❤️🌻




Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 17, 2018, 10:35:13 am
Moni...

I am glad you recognize that “official” greeting is something best left to the licensed, well seasoned professional.... I have born grim witness to the devastation that can occur when amateurs think they can wing it” because their mother always told them they were talented and maybe they could be an official greeter some day... Not only is it not a pretty sight but, it is also the 3rd most common cause of death in Ecuador right after llama trampling...

After the “5 weeks” incident... Jessica had a dream that no one else would ever go officially ungreeted!

Jessica studied long and hard to get where she is... Not just graduating greeting school but graduating first in her class without her parents paying for a new wing on the administration building... She did it with guts and determination!  On the heels of the years of long study came the post grad work... the internships... the residency program... the list goes on

I, for one will sleep better with the knowledge we have a professional at the helm!


Jessica... I officially welcome you to the position of official greeter!!!

(I hope I don’t get in trouble for welcoming without a license but my mother always said I had a talent for welcoming)

Hugs!!!

A 😀❤️🌻

Ashley thank you for the welcome!  You made me smile, and for sure with a number of giggles.
If you need tutelage, I recommend Professor Laurie.  She is aces!  Special shout out to Devlyn, Cindy, Mariah and Dena for tech support, and of course Susan!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Bari Jo on January 17, 2018, 07:57:03 pm
If we go all time machine on this deal, I may need Brigitte Bardot or maybe even Barbara Eden in the role....😀

If we go all time machine, I say get Frances farmer.  She got the raw deal from Hollywood and for some reason I've always been fascinated by her.

Welcome back Jessica!

Bari Jo
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 17, 2018, 08:10:49 pm
Jess,
   You waited 5 weeks to be welcomed? I don't understand. Well, I'll welcome you now if that's okay? I might even go as far as to greet you, not officially, of course. You got to be someone special to be official you know. I will now duck and cover like we did back in school since Laurie will probably come after me and tell you I need to be caught with a butterfly net. (How appropriate that would be.) Anyway, congrats on the thread.
Monica

Honestly Monica, I didn’t feel put out at all.  I didn’t even realize I should have been greeted.  Afterwards I did make sure any newbie I came across I would say hi and welcome.  I recognized that when you are new and greeted warmly, you feel that you are cared for in a situation where you are the most vulnerable.  By the way, Laurie is my big sister.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: JulieOnHerWay on January 17, 2018, 08:49:10 pm
How BIG is she???
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 17, 2018, 09:02:58 pm
How BIG is she???

Don’t mess with her “big”!  And she can give you such a pinch!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 20, 2018, 11:15:43 pm
Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ I have increasingly become more comfortable in my transition.  I was once afraid of who I would become.  I was afraid that I would never feel natural as a woman.  That I could never have the thought process or the movements that projects femininity or pass 100%.  There are some dear sisters here that have encouraged me on my path.  Who have given advice on how to do the hard things and making it be easy.  I’ve been hard nosed in thinking I could never dress and be a woman in public unless I could pass.  I’ve been convinced to abandon that thought and embrace a day with girlfriends and feel the freedom.  I am so looking forward to it.

The happiness brings tears to my eyes, Jessica 💁‍♀️
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on January 20, 2018, 11:29:16 pm
Hi Lil' Sis,

  That day is going to come. You can count on it, for Laurie has spoken! I am sure you will enjoy your time spent socializing with a couple other girls like yourself. If you are like me you will not even worry about being out in public and once you are with them you will not even think of being uncomfortable. You will just be one of the girls and that is all that will count. Trust me, I've been there about 9 times and went full time as a result. It is great to not worry about it all the time. Granted there are some situations that I still lack confidence but only a few. If I can do it you can too.

Hugs,
   Laurie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 20, 2018, 11:46:00 pm
Hi Lil' Sis,

  That day is going to come. You can count on it, for Laurie has spoken! I am sure you will enjoy your time spent socializing with a couple other girls like yourself. If you are like me you will not even worry about being out in public and once you are with them you will not even think of being uncomfortable. You will just be one of the girls and that is all that will count. Trust me, I've been there about 9 times and went full time as a result. It is great to not worry about it all the time. Granted there are some situations that I still lack confidence but only a few. If I can do it you can too.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Thank you big sis, you have done so much for my confidence and I love you for it.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 21, 2018, 10:00:11 am
This morning I had a revelation.  As I was dressing, I went to get some clean panties from the drawer and only found “Jeff’s” underwear.  Couldn’t put those on.  Found clean ones in the laundry.  This is a big mental step for me.  I need to get rid of those items that I don’t use anymore.

Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: KathyLauren on January 21, 2018, 11:00:34 am
When I was part-time, I kept a couple of pairs of guy's underwear in case I ever needed to go and stay in someone's house for a day or two while presenting as male.  I was so happy to get rid of them!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on January 21, 2018, 11:19:36 am
Hey Lil' Sis,

  I didn't get rid of my guy clothes for a couple months after going full time. I just wasn't ready to let go of that tether "just in case". I wore panties almost exclusively for many years but maintained an almost new supply just for overnight visits and doctor appointments. I even put clean male underwear in the wash to keep up appearances when my sister was doing our laundry. It really is silly what us closeted dressers  will do to maintain our covers. Anyway, I finally did cut that cord and have given away what could be used by my sister (pants) and my nephew. The rest is pretty much boxed up for good will or the trash. My nephew even got some shoes and boots I had collecting dust for years.
  Think about if you are ready to cut that cord and if you are, then do it girl, even it it is just the underwear. It is another step in becoming who you know you are. There is no rush.

Hugs,
  Laurie.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 21, 2018, 11:48:59 am
Hey Lil' Sis,

  I didn't get rid of my guy clothes for a couple months after going full time. I just wasn't ready to let go of that tether "just in case". I wore panties almost exclusively for many year but maintained an almost new supply just for overnight visits and doctor appointments. I even put clean male underwear in the wash to keep up appearance when my sister was doing our laundry. I really is silly what us closeted dressers  will do to maintain our covers. Anyway I finally did cut that cord and have given away what could be used by my sister (pants) and my nephew. The rest is pretty much boxed up for good will or the trash. My nephew even got some shoes and boots I had collecting dust for years.
  Think about if you are ready to cut that cord and if you are then do it girl even it it is just the underwear. It is another step in becoming who you know you are. There is no rush.

Hugs,
  Laurie.

Thanks big sis, you can critique when we visit Michelle.  You can be “Francine” (frank) with me.  I can’t be mad at my big sister forever.  Lol
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 21, 2018, 03:58:59 pm
Hi girls 🙋‍♀️ I’ve been wanting to change my hairstyle to be more feminine.  I talked to my hairdresser about growing it longer then styling it like Lisa Rinna’s on Housewives of Beverly Hills.  It’s a bit androgynous and sassy.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 23, 2018, 02:31:18 pm
My wife and I share the same hairdresser and after taking my wife there (her ankle is broken)  Tammy called me in after giving my wife a beautiful new look and trimmed the rough spots in the back and my eyebrows.  She is excited about my new style and told me again how nice my hair is and that my balding spot is gone now.  She doesn’t know about my transition yet, so she doesn’t know I’m on E. 
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on January 23, 2018, 07:34:28 pm
Hi Lil' Sis,

  It sounds like Tammy probably has already guessed a few things about you. It may be time to let her in on your little secret if you think it's safe with her.
  I know you are just trying to make me jealous about your hair, but I am all for your new do idea. Go for it.

Hugs,
  Laurie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 23, 2018, 08:01:26 pm
Hi Lil' Sis,

  It sounds like Tammy probably has already guess a few things about you. It may be time to let her in on you little secret if you think it's safe with her.
  I know you are just trying to make me jealous about your hair but I am all for your new do idea. Go for it.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Little sisters thrive on making big sister jealous!

It’s possible she has a clue.  I have never acted with her in a typical male fashion.  Very open and friendly on a very personal level.  Smiling always and look her in the eye.  Bringing her coffee or gifts.  So maybe she has guessed.  And I actually would feel safe telling her. 
My daughter in law is a cosmetics consultant, and beauty product sales manager.  I have considered asking her for advice.  She is one I could tell even before my son.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on January 24, 2018, 12:12:38 am
My wife and I share the same hairdresser and after taking my wife there (her ankle is broken)  Tammy called me in after giving my wife a beautiful new look and trimmed the rough spots in the back and my eyebrows.  She is excited about my new style and told me again how nice my hair is and that my balding spot is gone now.  She doesn’t know about my transition yet, so she doesn’t know I’m on E.

Jessica I can highly recommend the experience of "having your hair done"...prior to transition having a haircut was a function and merely something I had to do. When I went as Liz for the first time I came away with a smile on my face that I have never had before because the whole experience was amazing and very enjoyable...I was just not expecting it to be as nice as it was and gained and instant understanding why all the women in my life enjoy it.

Having your hair styled in a feminine way makes a big difference when being seen as a woman. It changes your appearance so much when they get it right.

Hope you get to enjoy your long hair... ;D
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 25, 2018, 09:04:22 am
So I look down at my ticker and see it’s been over 6 months on HT.  Wow time flies!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on January 25, 2018, 09:24:44 am
Congrats Lil Sis,

  Yes, half a year has gone past and you can feel the benefits of it now and know that there is still more to come. So keep that seat belt fastened, you still have more ups and unfortunately downs to come. But now you know you don't do ths alone girl. Hang on to that knowledge too. Now partay on girl!

Hugs,
   Laurie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 25, 2018, 11:15:59 am
Congrats Lil Sis,

  Yes, half a year has gone past and you can feel the benefits of it now and know that there is still more to come. So keep that seat belt fastened, you still have more ups and unfortunately downs to come. But now you know you don't do ths alone girl. Hang on to that knowledge too. Now partay on girl!

Hugs,
   Laurie

Thanks sis!  Sounds like you’re learning too!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 25, 2018, 11:14:36 pm
I asked a couple of girlfriends and on a thread what my middle name reflected in my eyes.  Laurie volunteered Marie immediately.  I asked Daniella (Charlie Nicki) she tells me Marie.  Ashley and Colleen both on the thread simultaneously answered Marie.  It is very clear to me that I am seen as Jessica Marie! 
My wife had veto power but totally agreed.

I love my name, thank you everyone for helping me.  All the other suggestions were strong runner ups and were all beautiful..... even Iris, which caused a chuckle, but appreciated all the same.

Meet Jessica Marie!  Woman, friend and Susan’s Place Welcomer
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Faith on January 26, 2018, 07:38:56 am
hi Jessica Marie, I'm Faith Nicole. It's nice to 'meet' you :)
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 26, 2018, 10:35:32 am
hi Jessica Marie, I'm Faith Nicole. It's nice to 'meet' you :)

Thank you Faith for your heartfelt welcome.  I wouldn’t be where I am without all the wonderful support from everyone here!

I’m Jessica Marie!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on January 26, 2018, 11:04:23 am
Thank you Faith for your heartfelt welcome.  I wouldn’t be where I am without all the wonderful support from everyone here!

I’m Jessica Marie!

Quick question and don't want to start a thread to get an answer.  So, this afternoon I plan on getting blood tests done either before or after shrink appointment.  Question is should I have refrained from taking the HRT at 7am this morning?  Don't want to give a misleading blood workup.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 26, 2018, 11:16:10 am
Quick question and don't want to start a thread to get an answer.  So, this afternoon I plan on getting blood tests done either before or after shrink appointment.  Question is should I have refrained from taking the HRT at 7am this morning?  Don't want to give a misleading blood workup.

I don’t know for fact, but I understand that can skew the results.  Dena may have the answer for that. 
Good luck Cassi!  This is a significant step!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on January 26, 2018, 11:18:15 am
I don’t know for fact, but I understand that can skew the results.  Dena may have the answer for that. 
Good luck Cassi!  This is a significant step!

Thanks and I apologize for asking this in your thread.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 26, 2018, 11:29:35 am
Thanks and I apologize for asking this in your thread.

Everyone’s mess is Jess’s mess!  No problem with it at all.  I love that you trust me enough to use it!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 30, 2018, 12:30:46 am
Hi friends 🙋‍♀️  I have always felt that to help someone in pain, you point out positive aspects in their situation instead of flaws.  Flaws are in everyone’s life and we all strive to make ourselves better, but they are better dealt with in a environment where you are not distracted by the numbing discord of despair or hurt.  When I find pain in new member comments that are so common, I remind myself, this is a soul reaching out, this was you at one point, you have shed these tears too. 
When you read any comment here, you are listening to someone’s life, their soul exposed sometimes.  Treat them as if they were yourself.  You gain life lessons from everyone’s life you expose yourself to.  Show them love, then help them heal.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on January 30, 2018, 12:47:03 am
 Hi Sis,

  I like your post above because what you say is correct. Most of is come here for the support the site offers. I know I did. I got that support and am still getting it from a lot of the people here. It is only right that I work at doing the same. Give the new person a friendly greeting goes a long way for a first impression. I try to read what they say with an eye out for something I can relate to and use that to create a connection with them and let them know that they are not alone in their worries or feeling. Let then know I know what it is like because I've been there too. Those are a few things that let them know they are welcome, not alone, and that there is someone that understands and cares. It goes a long way in supporting them.

Hugs,
  Laurie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: tgirlamg on January 30, 2018, 01:02:57 am
Does this mean I have to start being ... nice?
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 30, 2018, 01:05:23 am
Does this mean I have to start being ... nice?

Sorry Ashley, but your long past “started”
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on January 30, 2018, 01:12:07 am
Does this mean I have to start being ... nice?

 No Ashley, we want you to be your usual cantankerous self. We've gotten to love that in you.

Hugs,
  Laurie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: tgirlamg on January 30, 2018, 01:13:31 am
I will try not to disappoint!!! 😀!!!

A💗
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 30, 2018, 01:34:23 am
No Ashley, we want you to be your usual cantankerous self. We've gotten to love that in you.

Hugs,
  Laurie

I don’t understand this?  Why is it that some friends I find most loving have a cranky reputation?  I never see them that way.  Lol
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on January 30, 2018, 01:39:40 am
I don’t understand this?  Why is it that some friends I find most loving have a cranky reputation?  I never see them that way.  Lol

  Oh that's right, you're too new to know my IRL nick name.. Meanrotten old broad in a cowgirl hat. Okay I corrected the gender changes. but you get the idea.

 Hugs,
  Big Sis
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 30, 2018, 01:43:23 am
  Oh that's right, you're too new to know my IRL nick name.. Meanrotten old broad in a cowgirl hat. Okay I corrected the gender changes. but you get the idea.

 Hugs,
  Big Sis

That is exactly what I’m talking about!  Are you hiding something from me?  I haven’t heard JESSICA MARIE in a long time.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 30, 2018, 09:10:32 am
That is exactly what I’m talking about!  Are you hiding something from me?  I haven’t heard JESSICA MARIE in a long time.

Ok sis, you did give me a talking to last night for being a naughty girl.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on January 30, 2018, 09:34:05 am
Jess, it seems I had missed this thread so I decided to drop by and show you my support, which of course you already know you have <3 big hugs for you sister!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 30, 2018, 09:39:54 am
Jess, it seems I had missed this thread so I decided to drop by and show you my support, which of course you already know you have <3 big hugs for you sister!

Love having you here girlfriend.  You have been my closest friend from the start.  Im so glad we found each other.  If it wasn’t for you, I may not have made it through the first month.

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on January 30, 2018, 12:37:11 pm
Love having you here girlfriend.  You have been my closest friend from the start.  Im so glad we found each other.  If it wasn’t for you, I may not have made it through the first month.

That's so sweet of you! i'm glad I could help in any way, also happy I met you since you've been a tremendous help as well.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 30, 2018, 11:48:17 pm
So today I had a number of interactions that had me way down, went way back up only to crash down again, with another peak after that.  Every one of my crashes were based on irrational emotions (fear) that escalated out of control.  The peaks were wonderful though.
This happened a few months ago to me also.  Each time it has been during an increase of my estradiol dosage.
So I’m getting the impression that during these times both fear and joy are heightened and I need to remember that.
Sorry to those that got a first hand account of those emotions.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on January 31, 2018, 12:00:41 am
 Growing pains Girl, growing pains. They come along, you learn and you grow and move on.

Nothing serious.

Hugs,
  Laurie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: tgirlamg on January 31, 2018, 12:18:23 am
So I’m getting the impression that during these times both fear and joy are heightened and I need to remember that.

Hey Jessica!!!

I have had some pretty emotional days in the past and occasionally still that enevitably hit when my levels peak 2 days post injection.. Just recognizing it for what it is and knowing it will pass on its own has served me pretty well...

Hugs and Love!!!

A 😀💗🌻

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on January 31, 2018, 12:19:51 am
Jessica, every big bump in our dosages seems to send us on another roller coaster ride through Emotions Park.  Deep breaths, hang on, and the ride will smooth out a bit in a little while. 

And as Ashley notes, even some ways of taking our medicine can affect the ride!

Wheeee!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 31, 2018, 12:49:30 am
Thank you 3 wonderfully wise women!

Wheeeee
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 31, 2018, 10:12:59 pm
Ok, so I’m out of the pool now and my hair is dry!

Still with FaceApp, but still close.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on January 31, 2018, 10:14:02 pm
Ok, so I’m out of the pool now and my hair is dry!
Wow, didn't recognize ya.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 31, 2018, 10:33:32 pm
Wow, didn't recognize ya.

I think it’s closer to the real me than the other one, and that one was real close.
I think my hair will turn out like this once it grows out.......except I’m no longer a blond.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on January 31, 2018, 10:40:25 pm
I think it’s closer to the real me than the other one, and that one was real close.
I think my hair will turn out like this once it grows out.......except I’m no longer a blond.

What???? No longer blond?  Traitor!!!!

Just kidding.  Depending how my hair goes I wouldn't mind experimenting with the color :)
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 31, 2018, 10:44:09 pm
What???? No longer blond?  Traitor!!!!

Just kidding.  Depending how my hair goes I wouldn't mind experimenting with the color :)

Is brownish gray a color?
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on January 31, 2018, 11:15:36 pm
Is brownish gray a color?

Easily fixed.  My natural color is silver-gray, not Clairol 8G/104 medium golden blonde...
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on January 31, 2018, 11:42:07 pm
Easily fixed.  My natural color is silver-gray, not Clairol 8G/104 medium golden blonde...

So faceapp put Clairol 8G/104 in my hair?!?  It does look the same color as yours
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on January 31, 2018, 11:50:52 pm
So faceapp put Clairol 8G/104 in my hair?!?  It does look the same color as yours
If the room suddenly reeked of ammonia and your head is now covered in rapidly darkening slime, then yes, it definitely did!  🤣

It’s a very common real-world blonde color, similar to my natural color growing up.  My own hair got darker when puberty was induced.

They probably just used a medium blonde shade as a default color.



Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on February 01, 2018, 12:01:11 am
If the room suddenly reeked of ammonia and your head is now covered in rapidly darkening slime, then yes, it definitely did!  🤣

It’s a very common real-world blonde color, similar to my natural color growing up.  My own hair got darker when puberty was induced.

They probably just used a medium blonde shade as a default color.




Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

I was a toe head till puberty, then slowly after being a dirty blond, I mean dirty blond, it turn brown also.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on February 01, 2018, 12:37:33 am
What hair I have left is still towhead blond.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on February 01, 2018, 12:52:16 am
When I was a kid I had a cowlick like Alfalfa’s.  It’s coming back with the longer length hair I’m growing
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: KathyLauren on February 01, 2018, 07:28:48 am
Jessica, I love the new avatar!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on February 01, 2018, 08:07:11 am
Jessica, I love the new avatar!

Thank you Kathy!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on February 01, 2018, 08:08:02 am
When I was a kid I had a cowlick like Alfalfa’s.  It’s coming back with the longer length hair I’m growing

Watch out for Darla then!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on February 01, 2018, 08:46:28 am
Ok, so I’m out of the pool now and my hair is dry!

Still with FaceApp, but still close.

Wow beautiful!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on February 01, 2018, 08:49:45 am
Wow beautiful!

Thank you girlfriend
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on February 01, 2018, 09:01:52 am
Is brownish gray a color?

I don't know, I'm new to this, lol.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on February 01, 2018, 09:20:12 am
I don't know, I'm new to this, lol.

Aren’t most of us?  So much we missed!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on February 01, 2018, 05:35:50 pm
A suggestion for all you musicians.  If you all get together and form a band may I suggest you call your band the "Trans-sisters"?
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on February 01, 2018, 06:12:32 pm
A suggestion for all you musicians.  If you all get together and form a band may I suggest you call your band the "Trans-sisters"?

I love it!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on February 01, 2018, 06:14:26 pm
I love it!

Start with Cindy Lauper's "Girls Just Want To Have Fun"
Helen Reddy - "I Am Woman" and a couple of Go-Go songs :)
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on February 01, 2018, 08:26:37 pm
Start with Cindy Lauper's "Girls Just Want To Have Fun"
Helen Reddy - "I Am Woman" and a couple of Go-Go songs :)

Or “bounce your boobies”
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on February 01, 2018, 11:34:28 pm
Or “bounce your boobies”

We're go'n need sum halp fer da rest of da songgs!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on February 08, 2018, 12:33:26 pm
Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ I am nearly 62 and just shaved my mustache off for the second time since the virgin hairs came out.  I have been wanting to do this for awhile.  The first time I cut it was 4 months ago.  I like it not there.
The impetus is my excited anticipation of having lunch with Michelle and Laurie tomorrow.
Hopefully they can use some type of magic in helping me look more like a woman before we go.

Hugs, Jessica
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on February 08, 2018, 01:08:35 pm
Hi friends ‍♀️ I am nearly 62 and just shaved my mustache off for the second time since the virgin hairs came out.  I have been wanting to do this for awhile.  The first time I cut it was 4 months ago.  I like it not there.
The impetus is my excited anticipation of having lunch with Michelle and Laurie tomorrow.
Hopefully they can use some type of magic in helping me look more like a woman before we go.

Hugs, Jessica

Don’t worry, Jess!  We will have you looking just fine before we hit the town.  Between Laurie and my loyal staff of honey badgers, you’ll be in good hands. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on February 08, 2018, 02:36:57 pm
Don’t worry, Jess!  We will have you looking just fine before we hit the town.  Between Laurie and my loyal staff of honey badgers, you’ll be in good hands. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Thank you Michelle!  I’m feeling hopeful.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on February 08, 2018, 03:08:59 pm
Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ I am nearly 62 and just shaved my mustache off for the second time since the virgin hairs came out.  I have been wanting to do this for awhile.  The first time I cut it was 4 months ago.  I like it not there.
The impetus is my excited anticipation of having lunch with Michelle and Laurie tomorrow.
Hopefully they can use some type of magic in helping me look more like a woman before we go.

Hugs, Jessica

 Oh Yes, Jessica, Michelle and I are ready for you, we can't wait to get you... errr for you to come visit. We will be sure to ummm show you a good time. We are going to have so much fun playing ... You are going to have such fun with us doing all sorts of things. So be sure to come on over early my pretty. btw don't forget the ruby slippers, this isn't Kansas any more.

 Why do I keep getting this picture in my head of 3 women in Macbeth?

 Double, double toil and trouble;
    Fire burn, and caldron bubble.

See you tomorrow Hun.
  Laurie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on February 08, 2018, 04:50:30 pm
Oh Yes, Jessica, Michelle and I are ready for you, we can't wait to get you... errr for you to come visit. We will be sure to ummm show you a good time. We are going to have so much fun playing ... You are going to have such fun with us doing all sorts of things. So be sure to come on over early my pretty. btw don't forget the ruby slippers, this isn't Kansas any more.

 Why do I keep getting this picture in my head of 3 women in Macbeth?

 Double, double toil and trouble;
    Fire burn, and caldron bubble.

See you tomorrow Hun.
  Laurie

My slippers (deck shoes) are pink.  And that’s quinoa in the cauldron.
Title: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on February 09, 2018, 05:54:14 pm
Jess is so NOT a mess!
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180209/d7f42e6ed2e906489cb3d9d0b0b1833e.jpg)

We’re out for a day on the town, after Jess bravely faced the honey badgers and the dreaded Makeover.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180209/619fd9e81a7aa0dd60276c5358fb8e6c.jpg)



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Kendra on February 09, 2018, 06:09:58 pm
Wow!  Great photos with awesome ladies, great weather.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Julia1996 on February 09, 2018, 06:27:38 pm
You all look very nice. I hope you were having as much fun as it looked like you were.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Allison S on February 09, 2018, 06:33:42 pm
Smashing ladies keep it up

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on February 09, 2018, 06:37:34 pm
Jess is so NOT a mess!
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180209/d7f42e6ed2e906489cb3d9d0b0b1833e.jpg)

We’re out for a day on the town, after Jess bravely faced the honey badgers and the dreaded Makeover.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180209/619fd9e81a7aa0dd60276c5358fb8e6c.jpg)

Wowie! Hotchacha! What gorgeous ladies! And that is some nice jewelry that (L)ar{i}e is wearing! Yes, I noticed. Thank you.

Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on February 09, 2018, 07:05:25 pm
Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ I am nearly 62 and just shaved my mustache off for the second time since the virgin hairs came out.  I have been wanting to do this for awhile.  The first time I cut it was 4 months ago.  I like it not there.
The impetus is my excited anticipation of having lunch with Michelle and Laurie tomorrow.
Hopefully they can use some type of magic in helping me look more like a woman before we go.

Hugs, Jessica

Geez Jess,

62, like wow, you're old - Social Security retirement old :)
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: KathyLauren on February 09, 2018, 07:39:36 pm
Jess is so NOT a mess!
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180209/d7f42e6ed2e906489cb3d9d0b0b1833e.jpg)

We’re out for a day on the town, after Jess bravely faced the honey badgers and the dreaded Makeover.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180209/619fd9e81a7aa0dd60276c5358fb8e6c.jpg)



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Looking great, ladies!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on February 09, 2018, 07:55:42 pm
Geez Jess,

62, like wow, you're old - Social Security retirement old :)

FYI, 64 here :)
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on February 09, 2018, 09:14:26 pm
Nice pics! Hope you girls had a lot of fun :)

Sent from my Moto G (5) Plus using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on February 09, 2018, 10:14:28 pm
I have to thank Michelle and Laurie again for such a memorable day.  Michelle was wonderful at helping me with the first makeup I have ever worn, she helped me accessorize and both Laurie and her picked an outfit for me from the closet of clothes I brought.  We chatted for hours about this that and the other, finally realizing it was almost past lunch.  I gleefully walked through town with these wonderful women for the first time as a woman, uncaring if there were any looks.  We went to a local restaurant and enjoyed our meal while continuing our unceasing chat, we had no loss for words.  The hostess took our picture with a smile.... do we look happy?…we certainly were.  Walked to a central square downtown and Michelle used the Starbucks WiFi to post our pics as we sat chatting in the somewhat crowded square.  Michelle coerced us back to her place with the promise of warm, fresh baked cookies.  Laurie and I we’re not disappointed.
I feel so fortunate to have been able to hug both of these wonderful women with my own arms and heart.

Incredibly happy, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on February 09, 2018, 11:48:00 pm
Jessica,

  It was so nice meeting you in person and being a part of you first day out in public. You were great wandering around with us and being yourself. It was our pleasure to help you have this day. It was fun for all three of us right up until you managed to slip your cuffs and then your leash enabling your escape. I am so disappointed in Michelle's restraint. I'd  give her a piece of my mind for letting you get free, except for fear that her expertise might improve. I mean I do need to be returning home myself eventually.

  Glad you had fun, Hun.

Hugs,
   Laurie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on February 10, 2018, 12:43:28 am
Jessica, Today was a very nice day for all of us, meeting new friends and enjoying time together.  We are of course, quite happy you enjoyed the experience. 

As you saw, even with thousands of other people out wandering the area, folks were too busy trying to check their phones, talking with friends, watching their kids, or looking in the shop windows to pay any attention to us.  We get to just live our lives, too!

Laurie would probably add some additional commentary here, but she is tied up right now...


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on February 10, 2018, 12:53:12 am
Jessica, Today was a very nice day for all of us, meeting new friends and enjoying time together.  We are of course, quite happy you enjoyed the experience. 

As you saw, even with thousands of other people out wandering the area, folks were too busy trying to check their phones, talking with friends, watching their kids, or looking in the shop windows to pay any attention to us.  We get to just live our lives, too!

Laurie would probably add some additional commentary here, but she is tied up right now...


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Life is what you make of it.  If you are afraid of shadows, you stay out of the sun.  It’s wonderful in the sun.

Hope you didn’t have a copyright on my new avatar

Have you released Laurie from the badger cage yet......she seemed content scratching behind your honey badgers ear.  She knows how to soothe a badger now.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on February 10, 2018, 09:27:34 am
Geez Jess,

62, like wow, you're old - Social Security retirement old :)

Yes Cassi, I have reached that point in life, but I certainly don’t feel or look old. 
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Kendra on February 10, 2018, 09:34:10 am
> Life is what you make of it.  If you are afraid of shadows, you stay out of the sun.  It’s wonderful in the sun.

^  This - exactly.  YES!  ^
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on February 10, 2018, 11:30:48 am
^  This - exactly.  YES!  ^

It was a very sunny day yesterday too!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on February 19, 2018, 02:24:06 pm
So I went for a routine teeth cleaning this morning at the dentist I’ve seen for years.  The receptionist studies my face and tells me I look younger.  Granted I have gotten rid of that caterpillar on my lip, and my hair is longer.  But my face is softer and lines are disappearing.  I say thanks and then I’m told that my regular hygienist had an off road accident and I would be seeing a temp today.  She starts talking about the Olympic skating commentators and that the guy was so flamboyant, but added that that’s okay, as long as he’s happy.  Then pointed out how you have to consider what to say and for the need to be PC about things like that.
I wonder if she saw the woman I am in my face and eyes?

Curiously curious, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Bari Jo on February 20, 2018, 10:15:30 am
Maybe, I hope so.  I've had lots of people study my face and make comments too.  Repeated comments are the best.  I've had the "is he gay gossip" a lot with the neighbors.  Some may equate that with Johnny weir, that skating commentator.  My mom thinks he's trans ajd that is how trans people act in her mind.  She gave me a jacket during this visit that was very Johnny weir.  I had to tell her no, think of me as a normal girl, not a flamboyant gay man.  It's easy to confuse the two with people with little experience with trans people.

Bari Jo
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on February 20, 2018, 12:28:01 pm
Maybe, I hope so.  I've had lots of people study my face and make comments too.  Repeated comments are the best.  I've had the "is he gay gossip" a lot with the neighbors.  Some may equate that with Johnny weir, that skating commentator.  My mom thinks he's trans ajd that is how trans people act in her mind.  She gave me a jacket during this visit that was very Johnny weir.  I had to tell her no, think of me as a normal girl, not a flamboyant gay man.  It's easy to confuse the two with people with little experience with trans people.

Bari Jo

I have to disagree with you about Johnny Weir.  Everyone is unique in their own self, and this is his expression of self.  I used to think I was bisexual, now I think that I’m NB (non binary) or gender fluid.  When I desire a man I am a heterosexual woman, when I’m with my wife I’m a heterosexual man.  He may be feeling he is NB or gender fluid, but enough on the masculine side to create his happiness as he is. 
The definition of transgender is all over the place and maybe all humans may be NB or gender fluid.  Where they find their comfort is where they fit on that sliding scale of personalities.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on February 20, 2018, 12:48:11 pm
I have to disagree with you about Johnny Weir.  Everyone is unique in their own self, and this is his expression of self.  I used to think I was bisexual, now I think that I’m NB (non binary) or gender fluid.  When I desire a man I am a heterosexual woman, when I’m with my wife I’m a heterosexual man.  He may be feeling he is NB or gender fluid, but enough on the masculine side to create his happiness as he is. 
The definition of transgender is all over the place and maybe all humans may be NB or gender fluid.  Where they find their comfort is where they fit on that sliding scale of personalities.

I like this idea.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on February 20, 2018, 01:11:07 pm
I like this idea.

Thanks dear sister!  There is a misunderstanding of what it means to be transgender, even here at Susan’s. The umbrella is large.  But then again this is only my theory and no basis of fact.  So what do I know?........as much as anyone else.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Bari Jo on February 20, 2018, 02:17:55 pm
I have to disagree with you about Johnny Weir.  Everyone is unique in their own self, and this is his expression of self.  I used to think I was bisexual, now I think that I’m NB (non binary) or gender fluid.  When I desire a man I am a heterosexual woman, when I’m with my wife I’m a heterosexual man.  He may be feeling he is NB or gender fluid, but enough on the masculine side to create his happiness as he is. 
The definition of transgender is all over the place and maybe all humans may be NB or gender fluid.  Where they find their comfort is where they fit on that sliding scale of personalities.

I'll buy this, the part of the message that was impt though was people have their own ideas of what transgender is.  Hence the Jonny weir esque jacket at a gift.  No thank you, I will stick with normal girl:)

Bari Jo
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on February 20, 2018, 02:20:51 pm
I'll buy this, the part of the message that was impt though was people have their own ideas of what transgender is.  Hence the Jonny weir esque jacket at a gift.  No thank you, I will stick with normal girl:)

Bari Jo

I totally get that!  In my theory, you fit right in.
I started a thread on the definition of Transgender just now.
Hopefully you can share you views on it.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Bari Jo on February 25, 2018, 02:31:21 am
I totally get that!  In my theory, you fit right in.
I started a thread on the definition of Transgender just now.
Hopefully you can share you views on it.

Is this thread still around?  I couldn't find it.

Bari Jo
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 06, 2018, 10:48:02 pm
So I had another adventure with Laurie and Michelle, and met Robyn another Susan’s member.
The emotions that have gathered since my second day out have me envisioning new goals.  I never thought I could look as feminine as I think I did yesterday.  I feel now that with voice training and learning new social skills, I could feel comfortable as a woman.  Until now, I never really believed I could truly accomplish this.
Am I believing in a pipe dream?  Do I really look as feminine as I think?  Can I alter the way my mannerisms have been forever?  Can I sit with a group of women and not feel out of place? 

Perception of the vision of my appearance is in the eye of the beholder.  So who’s to say what’s feminine?
I feel I’ve always had a more free spirit than most males, which I can equate to nurturing my love for life, which again most males don’t connect with.  So I’ve already think in a different way, which can dictate my mannerisms.
I think I answered my last query yesterday morning at Sephora’s enjoying a makeover.

So I have to re-evaluate again, as I do on a regular basis.  But this was a leap in thought that I did not expect.

The first question is a resounding no.  This is a reality that is possible!

Smiles, Jessica
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on March 06, 2018, 10:50:24 pm
Never forget, you're one of the original "Transisters" and can do anything you set your mind to.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 06, 2018, 11:39:35 pm
Never forget, you're one of the original "Transisters" and can do anything you set your mind to.

Thank you Cassi for the vote of confidence!  Can you do two part harmony?
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on March 07, 2018, 12:09:01 am
Jessica, this is not a pipe dream!

As you discovered, you can easily have a more feminine appearance.  Mannerisms can be re-learned just as you once learned your current set.  Speech can be trained, learning prosody (that singing speech style of femininity) the different accentuation, and even some pitch change.  Surgeries can assist in pitch change if absolutely needed.

You have a definite feminine spirit.  You can alter your social gender appearance and role to match.

Hugs!
Michelle P.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Kendra on March 07, 2018, 01:16:34 am
Jessica you look great!!  And even more important, you are starting to see what is possible and is real. 

I went through a similar thought process.  I am soooo happy for you!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 07, 2018, 01:27:49 am
Jessica, this is not a pipe dream!

As you discovered, you can easily have a more feminine appearance.  Mannerisms can be re-learned just as you once learned your current set.  Speech can be trained, learning prosody (that singing speech style of femininity) the different accentuation, and even some pitch change.  Surgeries can assist in pitch change if absolutely needed.

You have a definite feminine spirit.  You can alter your social gender appearance and role to match.

Hugs!
Michelle P.

Thank you @Michelle_P  I do appreciate all your help and support you’ve given me.
The thing about pipes, whether a dream or not, if you stand it on end, you have the option to climb to higher heights!

Jessica
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 07, 2018, 01:50:45 am
Jessica you look great!!  And even more important, you are starting to see what is possible and is real. 

I went through a similar thought process.  I am soooo happy for you!

Thank you so much @Kendra!
It’s an epiphany, a revelation of inspirational realization from a flash of vision of a reality not easily grasped. 
I see a road in front of me that has always been my path from birth and will lead me to a content conclusion.  I am confidently positive in my life with all my choices I have made, knowing the only way in life is forward.

Smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on March 07, 2018, 05:34:22 am
I'm happy for you Jess and I love your new picture.

Sent from my Moto G (5) Plus using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 07, 2018, 09:11:50 am
I'm happy for you Jess and I love your new picture.

Sent from my Moto G (5) Plus using Tapatalk

Thank you @Charlie Nicki, you were my first friend here at Susan’s and I love you like a sister!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Bari Jo on March 07, 2018, 10:14:51 pm
Another new picture, girl you are on fire!  Did you do the makeup on this one?  You look insanely happy in the pict, like you did!

Bari Jo
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 07, 2018, 11:16:08 pm
Another new picture, girl you are on fire!  Did you do the makeup on this one?  You look insanely happy in the pict, like you did!

Bari Jo

Thank you @Bari Jo!  I need much more practice with makeup till I could this good.  This pic is from the same day with Laurie and Michelle at the Italian restaurant we had lunch at.  I’m smiling because the Pinot Grigio was good!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on March 08, 2018, 08:15:08 am
Jess how do I mention people like you are doing?
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: KathyLauren on March 08, 2018, 08:18:01 am
Jess how do I mention people like you are doing?
You just type "@" followed with no space in between by their username.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Julia1996 on March 08, 2018, 08:33:29 am
I like your new picture. You look very pretty and happy.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 08, 2018, 09:23:05 am
You just type "@" followed with no space in between by their username.

I just learned this last week @Charlie Nicki!  Very handy!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 08, 2018, 09:29:57 am
I like your new picture. You look very pretty and happy.

Thank you so much @Julia1996.  You telling me I look pretty is just the best thing I could hear. 
I am starting to think I can actually be a woman.  That my mannerisms are feminine, that I look feminine, that I am feminine.  The only hitch is my voice, but I do believe with practice I can sound feminine.

I am happy and smiling, Jess
Title: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on March 08, 2018, 09:30:55 am
You just type "@" followed with no space in between by their username.

Dang! I tried that a while back and it didn’t seem to work. Maybe it was the punctuation problem @KathyLauren mentioned. (Wait... that mention is gone now. Must have been edited out.)

Follow up edit: nope, doesn’t seem to be working for me. Tapatalk problem?

 - Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: KathyLauren on March 08, 2018, 09:34:50 am
Dang! I tried that a while back and it didn’t seem to work. Maybe it was the punctuation problem @KathyLauren mentioned. (Wait... that mention is gone now. Must have been edited out.)


 - Stephanie
I edited it out when I realized that Jess's exclamation mark worked just fine.  But yours didn't, @Steph2.0 , that's weird.  Must be gremlins.

[edit:] Wait, yours worked in the quote but not in your original post??  Even weirder!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Bari Jo on March 08, 2018, 09:49:42 am
I am starting to think I can actually be a woman.  That my mannerisms are feminine, that I look feminine, that I am feminine.  The only hitch is my voice, but I do believe with practice I can sound feminine.

I am happy and smiling, Jess

You totally can!  You are totally surpassing me, making me super jealous.  My time will come though.

Bari Jo
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 08, 2018, 09:56:53 am
You totally can!  You are totally surpassing me, making me super jealous.  My time will come though.

Bari Jo

@Bari Jo, butterflies are in my tummy making me giddy with joy!  Your time is now!
 My success came from knowing that.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Bari Jo on March 08, 2018, 10:05:32 am
Nah, not the time for me, I lose all my hair in a week for the hairline restore.  I'm waiting for full time when it comes back.

Bari Jo
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 08, 2018, 11:38:52 am
Of course @Bari Jo, only you know when you are ready.  I was just trying to pump you up.  Getting encouragement helped me.
So you know, my hair is growing longer now, but I am wearing a wig in this picture.  I am now 8 weeks past my typical haircut schedule and it’s looking good. It will be full bodied, naturally wavy and curls.  Think maybe back to my ponytail I had for decades.

Hugs, Jessica
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on March 08, 2018, 03:40:02 pm
Lets' try @Jessica @KathyLauren !!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on March 08, 2018, 03:40:30 pm
Ok not working at all. And I'm on the Chrome browser.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on March 08, 2018, 03:52:25 pm
I edited it out when I realized that Jess's exclamation mark worked just fine.  But yours didn't, @Steph2.0 , that's weird.  Must be gremlins.

[edit:] Wait, yours worked in the quote but not in your original post??  Even weirder!

It's Tapatalk, @KathyLauren. Works fine through the web interface. I'm starting to get tired of Tapatalk's limitations, but for a portable device the web interface is just too small.

Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 08, 2018, 03:59:07 pm
@Charlie Nicki, I use an iPad with iOS 11.2.6 and using Safari.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on March 08, 2018, 04:12:44 pm
You just type "@" followed with no space in between by their username.

@KathyLauren... that does not work for me... Firefox, Windows10
... trying it again @KathyLauren

Do you have any ideas for a solution????
Aspiringperson
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 08, 2018, 07:13:32 pm
@KathyLauren... that does not work for me... Firefox, Windows10
... trying it again @KathyLauren

Do you have any ideas for a solution????
Aspiringperson

@Aspiringperson, I did this on Windows 10, but on Explorer
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 08, 2018, 07:21:28 pm
Ok not working at all. And I'm on the Chrome browser.

@Charlie Nicki, try Explorer
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jenniferangelina on March 15, 2018, 12:04:58 pm
I just wanted to say your a wonderful person and thank you for welcoming me to Susans    ;D. All this can be scary but we need to look out for each other and you excel at that!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on March 15, 2018, 12:06:24 pm
I just wanted to say your a wonderful person and thank you for welcoming me to Susans    ;D. All this can be scary but we need to look out for each other and you excel at that!

Jess is one of the "Original" Transisters!  Her and the Devyl are a couple of the many awesome peeps here.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jenniferangelina on March 15, 2018, 12:10:31 pm
Jess is one of the "Original" Transisters!  Her and the Devyl are a couple of the many awesome peeps here.
Your awesome too Cassi! So many awesome people here I feel so welcomed and excepted like I never have before
Typos! Accepted lol
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 15, 2018, 12:13:38 pm
I just wanted to say your a wonderful person and thank you for welcoming me to Susans    ;D. All this can be scary but we need to look out for each other and you excel at that!

Thank you so much @Jenniferangelina!  I do try.  I find myself feeling very content giving hope to those that are experiencing the same fears as I had.  Everyday I learn something new and attempt to pass on what I can.
Everyone here is so supportive for each other.  That’s what makes it work!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on March 15, 2018, 12:20:12 pm
Thank you so much @Jenniferangelina!  I do try.  I find myself feeling very content giving hope to those that are experiencing the same fears as I had.  Everyday I learn something new and attempt to pass on what I can.
Everyone here is so supportive for each other.  That’s what makes it work!

Keep talking and acting this way and your going to have to change your thread title from Jess's Mess to Jess's Nest!!!!!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 15, 2018, 12:22:53 pm
Keep talking and acting this way and your going to have to change your thread title from Jess's Mess to Jess's Nest!!!!!

Mi casa es su casa!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on March 15, 2018, 12:28:16 pm
Mi casa es su casa!

Nest I says, not House :)

HugsQ!T
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 15, 2018, 01:02:40 pm
Nest I says, not House :)

HugsQ!T

mi nido es tu nido
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on March 15, 2018, 02:09:28 pm
mi nido es tu nido

LOL
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 15, 2018, 07:32:00 pm
Hi girls 🙋‍♀️ I had heard that there is the possibility that after being on hrt for awhile you could measure smaller across the ribs (band) and waist.  I never imagined that, at least in the chest, I could have that happen.  It has, and I’m shocked.
I have lessened by an inch with the band measurement, along with the same in the waist.
To make matters better, my bust AND my butt have gained an inch in the 8 months since starting, and my thighs are keeping up in proportion.
I look at my figure straight on and it’s beginning to become pear shaped.
According to the charts I should be wearing a 38D bra.....
I think it’s more like a small C or a large B.
Through these changes I have only fluctuated in weight with a 5 lb. difference either way from my starting weight.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Bari Jo on March 16, 2018, 08:29:50 am
This is great Jessica.  I've lost weight across my chest too mainly because I was fat starting our. I'm so jealous of our progress on top.  8 months and a large B to a C?  Wow!  I'm starting to think all the attempts at DIY may have stunted my progress.  I'm an A and I'm in just slightly longer than you.  I am older though too.  The girls in my family are all endowed even though they are tiny ladies.  It's my age and my DIY I think.  Each picture you put up looks happier than the rest.  I like that.  Bay Area?  That's not too far away:)

Bari Jo
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 16, 2018, 09:31:09 am
This is great Jessica.  I've lost weight across my chest too mainly because I was fat starting our. I'm so jealous of our progress on top.  8 months and a large B to a C?  Wow!  I'm starting to think all the attempts at DIY may have stunted my progress.  I'm an A and I'm in just slightly longer than you.  I am older though too.  The girls in my family are all endowed even though they are tiny ladies.  It's my age and my DIY I think.  Each picture you put up looks happier than the rest.  I like that.  Bay Area?  That's not too far away:)

Bari Jo

@Bari Jo, I tried the herbal route for awhile and I think it may have jump started things, but was so much work that it interfered with my life.  Remember ymmv!  The women in my family are large breasted and big butted also, but that doesn’t always mean that will be the case with any other member.  I can’t compare our ages, but at 61 I cant see how that could make a big difference between us.
I do feel happy most of the time.  This is something that has been a point of contention with friends who are amazed with my spirit, and want to know my secret.  I tell them, it’s because I live life.  I don’t dwell on the negative and always know that there is positivity surrounding my personal space.
Yes, Santy Annie is just south and someday maybe we could get together!  Jessica
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: softbutchharley on March 16, 2018, 09:42:25 am
GM Jessica !!!
regarding "..Nothing that is so dramatic that it has changed who I am.  I have lived my life knowing that some of my mannerisms are not what typical males do, but I never really cared.."
I feel you there baby :) Only I stopped caring about 2-3 years into my transition. I stopped caring if some of my "mannerisms" were pretty "butchy" :) As asked my female dentist who owns her own boat and uses it..."am I not allowed to ride my motorcycle or play in my boat and fish and paddle board etc...?" .lol !! Of course not. And I have never looked back. Some guys find me a bit intimidating, but that's just a macho/testosterone thing and easy for me to "allow" them their chest beating and posturing that guys do LOL !!!
I am VERY happy being me and living me, and my devoted partner and our daughter are like wise happy with our home and all of our lil "ism's"  lol
TY for posting this Jess, and for sharing from your heart with us.
Stay salty my friend !!!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 16, 2018, 12:37:09 pm
GM Jessica !!!
regarding "..Nothing that is so dramatic that it has changed who I am.  I have lived my life knowing that some of my mannerisms are not what typical males do, but I never really cared.."
I feel you there baby :) Only I stopped caring about 2-3 years into my transition. I stopped caring if some of my "mannerisms" were pretty "butchy" :) As asked my female dentist who owns her own boat and uses it..."am I not allowed to ride my motorcycle or play in my boat and fish and paddle board etc...?" .lol !! Of course not. And I have never looked back. Some guys find me a bit intimidating, but that's just a macho/testosterone thing and easy for me to "allow" them their chest beating and posturing that guys do LOL !!!
I am VERY happy being me and living me, and my devoted partner and our daughter are like wise happy with our home and all of our lil "ism's"  lol
TY for posting this Jess, and for sharing from your heart with us.
Stay salty my friend !!!

Thank you @softbutchharley for recognizing that we don’t change our personalities, we amplify it.  Living your life as who you are is the ultimate freedom. 
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 16, 2018, 01:43:44 pm
Thank you @Cassi!  By the way, I saw him on this tour.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,235365.msg2108676.html#msg2108676
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on March 16, 2018, 01:53:15 pm
Thank you @Cassi!  By the way, I saw him on this tour.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,235365.msg2108676.html#msg2108676

Cool on seeing him in concert.  Here in Vegas they seem to have an oldies group here every week.  Waiting for the HRT to make me young again so I get things for free.  May have to show (or hide) a little leg :)
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 16, 2018, 02:29:40 pm
Cool on seeing him in concert.  Here in Vegas they seem to have an oldies group here every week.  Waiting for the HRT to make me young again so I get things for free.  May have to show (or hide) a little leg :)

@Cassi, I wished I had known you last November when I ran the “Rock and Roll, Night on the Strip, 10k”. We could have met up. 
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jenniferangelina on March 16, 2018, 02:37:13 pm
@Cassi, I wished I had known you last November when I ran the “Rock and Roll, Night on the Strip, 10k”. We could have met up.

That sounds like soooo much fun!!!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on March 16, 2018, 02:41:45 pm
That sounds like soooo much fun!!!

Cool but you'd have to walk really slow :)
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 16, 2018, 06:58:01 pm
Cool but you'd have to walk really slow :)

@Cassi and @Jenniferangelina
My walking pace is 12 min per mile.
Running is 9.
Too fast?

I’ve purposely slowed my normal around town walking pace to be closer to a woman’s stride, at least my wife’s.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on March 16, 2018, 06:59:52 pm
@Cassi and @Jenniferangelina
My walking pace is 12 min per mile.
Running is 9.
Too fast?

I’ve purposely slowed my normal around town walking pace to be closer to a woman’s stride, at least my wife’s.

Back in my youth and military days I could do 3 miles in just under 18.  Now 3 miles would take 3 days.

I get tired just looking at my feet :)
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on March 18, 2018, 02:06:24 am
Hi girls 🙋‍♀️ I had heard that there is the possibility that after being on hrt for awhile you could measure smaller across the ribs (band) and waist.  I never imagined that, at least in the chest, I could have that happen.  It has, and I’m shocked.
I have lessened by an inch with the band measurement, along with the same in the waist.
To make matters better, my bust AND my butt have gained an inch in the 8 months since starting, and my thighs are keeping up in proportion.
I look at my figure straight on and it’s beginning to become pear shaped.
According to the charts I should be wearing a 38D bra.....
I think it’s more like a small C or a large B.
Through these changes I have only fluctuated in weight with a 5 lb. difference either way from my starting weight.

It so great when you finally start to see those changes...makes it all seem worthwhile...Yes weight gain is the downside but so long as you got it in all the right places its also a positive...kind of LOL

Take care

Liz
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 18, 2018, 09:13:26 am
It so great when you finally start to see those changes...makes it all seem worthwhile...Yes weight gain is the downside but so long as you got it in all the right places its also a positive...kind of LOL

Take care

Liz

Yes @ElizabethK, it is wonderful!  It has changed my thought process to be even more comfortable with choices I’ve made.  I’m realizing that I am becoming who I am, who I always have been. 
It has actually made me happier, which makes me wonder.......I took the “how happy are you” test and scored 100%.  That summation is based on my life long outlook of myself.  I guess I’m now 110% happy now.

Smiling always, Jessica
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 19, 2018, 03:36:11 pm
Hi Friends 🙋‍♀️ My avatar at the moment is my first attempt at makeup by my own hand and no wig.  It’s not real obvious in the pic, but I see it.  I will continue growing my hair back to the ponytail I had for decades, and may have something done differently to it then.

Hugs, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on March 19, 2018, 03:40:41 pm
Hi Friends 🙋‍♀️ My avatar at the moment is my first attempt at makeup by my own hand and no wig.  It’s not real obvious in the pic, but I see it.  I will continue growing my hair back to the ponytail I had for decades, and may have something done differently to it then.

Hugs, Jess

@ Jessica:  It it neat to see your new avatar photo.... No Wig!!!! ... your hair is getting to a good length now that you will be able to do some neat things with it.  Perhaps in the near future you can post a closer view of your face so we can see your makeup artistry....  did you do  your nails too???
Always good to see your updates.
Hugs from Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 19, 2018, 04:54:20 pm
@ Jessica:  It it neat to see your new avatar photo.... No Wig!!!! ... your hair is getting to a good length now that you will be able to do some neat things with it.  Perhaps in the near future you can post a closer view of your face so we can see your makeup artistry....  did you do  your nails too???
Always good to see your updates.
Hugs from Danielle

Thank you so much @Alaskan Danielle!  I am blessed with some curly locks.  My hairdresser told me to call her when I’m ready for a trim and even things out. 
My makeup is only med. tan foundation, candleglow perfecting powder, mascara and a violet rose lip glacé.  I didn’t put on my false eyelashes, but my natural ones plumped up nicely.  I will find better lighting next time when I take new pics.
I have been going to the nail salon with my wife for mani/pedis for the last 5 months.  Love it!

Danielle! Did you get my PM’s lately?
I have been having fun playing tag with you!
I’ve been seeing if you were on, then posting after you welcome someone.
Do you text or Skype?

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Kendra on March 19, 2018, 06:37:22 pm
Jess!!  Wow you look great!  And with your own natural hair - and I like your makeup. 
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 19, 2018, 06:44:36 pm
Jess!!  Wow you look great!  And with your own natural hair - and I like your makeup.

Thank you @Kendra!  Hearing that from you gives me a huge jump in confidence!
 
Oh jeez!  All day I’ve been having happy tears.... new patches and compliments will do it every time

Hugs, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: KathyLauren on March 19, 2018, 07:34:52 pm
I love your new avatar, Jess.  Very pretty, and you have a lovely smile!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on March 19, 2018, 07:39:27 pm
Omigosh Jess! Looking good, girl! And did you pose for that sculpture behind you? Way to go!

Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on March 19, 2018, 07:44:03 pm
Omigosh Jess! Looking good, girl! And did you pose for that sculpture behind you? Way to go!

Stephanie

OMG Steph!  I know why you're a pilot now - I had to recheck and I never even saw Jess' sculpture.  However, they do look like Rhonda and Lucy though my eyes aren't as good as your's :) 

By the authority granted to me by the Galactic Society of Transisters, I do hereby dub thee Lady Hawkeye!!!!!!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 19, 2018, 07:56:16 pm
@Alaskan Danielle
@Kendra
@KathyLauren
@Steph2.0
@Cassi
I hope all of you know that you have ruined my mascara with all your compliments!

Thank you 😊
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on March 19, 2018, 08:15:16 pm
OMG Steph!  I know why you're a pilot now - I had to recheck and I never even saw Jess' sculpture.

Well that’s understandable. Jessica’s new avatar has everyone so enthralled that they don’t see anything else in the picture.

Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Sonja on March 19, 2018, 08:24:50 pm
@Alaskan Danielle
@Kendra
@KathyLauren
@Steph2.0
@Cassi
I hope all of you know that you have ruined my mascara with all your compliments!

Thank you 😊
@Jessica - God I'm dumb! I just realized its you!!  You look fantastic!!  You have a very natural, pretty glow.
I've had a manicure and pedicure along with my wife at a nail salon, great fun!

Sonja.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 19, 2018, 08:31:48 pm
Well that’s understandable. Jessica’s new avatar has everyone so enthralled that they don’t see anything else in the picture.

Stephanie

I did purposefully include our bronze sculpture of humanity!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on March 19, 2018, 08:48:25 pm
I did purposefully include our bronze sculpture of humanity!

Oh!

The Humanity!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 19, 2018, 08:54:23 pm
Oh!

The Humanity!

Lol 😂
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on March 19, 2018, 09:06:12 pm
Well, they're obviously the "L" word :)  Kewl!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 19, 2018, 09:11:59 pm
Well, they're obviously the "L" word :)  Kewl!

I love the wig! Beautiful color!  You’re going places, but first you have to step outside.
I do see a woman looking at me in your avatar!

Hugs, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on March 19, 2018, 09:16:44 pm
I love the wig! Beautiful color!  You’re going places, but first you have to step outside.
I do see a woman looking at me in your avatar!

Hugs, Jess

LAG - Laughing and Giggling!

Thank you.  I just spent close to an hour trying to get a picture of myself that looked halfway decent and this one is not a FaceApp fixer up so not bad for a 65 year hag :)

My daughter took one look at the wig and said, no - you're a blond!  Of course her hair is naturally jet black but she's dying it some aweful red color - not like mine :)

Her girlfriend, who I went to the wig place said it brought out my eyes, lol.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 19, 2018, 09:23:10 pm
LAG - Laughing and Giggling!

Thank you.  I just spent close to an hour trying to get a picture of myself that looked halfway decent and this one is not a FaceApp fixer up so not bad for a 65 year hag :)

My daughter took one look at the wig and said, no - you're a blond!  Of course her hair is naturally jet black but she's dying it some aweful red color - not like mine :)

Her girlfriend, who I went to the wig place said it brought out my eyes, lol.

It took me awhile too, to get decent lighting, kept walking around till I found it in the bedroom.

I think you may be a perfect blond!  And then, there’s the hair color too!  Lol
But your daughters friend is right, that color brings out your eyes!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on March 19, 2018, 09:28:58 pm
It took me awhile too, to get decent lighting, kept walking around till I found it in the bedroom.

I think you may be a perfect blond!  And then, there’s the hair color too!  Lol
But your daughters friend is right, that color brings out your eyes!

Thanks again!

Yes, lighting is everything.  Learn that yesterday from her girlfriend who kept taking selfies of herself while we were eating because the "lighting was so good".

I used at least 8 different light sources, lol.  Another issue I have had is that I'm not into having my picture taken and tend to "freeze up" and that usually messes things up.  This picture I just told myself, don't think about it.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Sonja on March 19, 2018, 09:41:23 pm
Thanks again!

Yes, lighting is everything.  Learn that yesterday from her girlfriend who kept taking selfies of herself while we were eating because the "lighting was so good".

I used at least 8 different light sources, lol.  Another issue I have had is that I'm not into having my picture taken and tend to "freeze up" and that usually messes things up.  This picture I just told myself, don't think about it.
Hey Cassi - Congratulations on your new Avatar pic, lighting and all, you look great! 

Sonja
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on March 19, 2018, 09:43:51 pm
Hey Cassi - Congratulations on your new Avatar pic, lighting and all, you look great! 

Sonja

Thank you Sonja!
Your motivational dress shopping helped me think about the hair :)
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on March 19, 2018, 10:46:14 pm
LAG - Laughing and Giggling!

Thank you.  I just spent close to an hour trying to get a picture of myself that looked halfway decent and this one is not a FaceApp fixer up so not bad for a 65 year hag :)

My daughter took one look at the wig and said, no - you're a blond!  Of course her hair is naturally jet black but she's dying it some aweful red color - not like mine :)

Her girlfriend, who I went to the wig place said it brought out my eyes, lol.

Heya Cass  (aka Mom):  I just knew that you wanted to be a Red Head after we all commented on Amberwaves  hair color a couple weeks ago on another thread. 
Your fans want to see more pictures of you when you have the time.
Your Fan,
Danielle   (aka Appy)
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on March 19, 2018, 11:03:11 pm
Hi Lil' Sis,

  Did you fix your mascara?  Raccoon eyes are not the best look for you. You deserve
 the compliments as the picture does look good Hun and the red top too. I hope you continue to enjoy being a girl.

  Hugs,
    Laurie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 19, 2018, 11:17:40 pm
Hi Lil' Sis,

  Did you fix your mascara?  Raccoon eyes are not the best look for you. You deserve
 the compliments as the picture does look good Hun and the red top too. I hope you continue to enjoy being a girl.
T
  Hugs,
    Laurie

Thank you big sis.  I agree about the raccoon eyes.  I did this on my own, and in not very much time.  I didn’t put on my false eyelashes, I think my own were fine with the mascara. 
What do you think of my hair?  It will get longer.

Hugs and squeezes, Jessica
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on March 20, 2018, 04:08:55 pm
It took me awhile too, to get decent lighting, kept walking around till I found it in the bedroom.

I think you may be a perfect blond!  And then, there’s the hair color too!  Lol
But your daughters friend is right, that color brings out your eyes!

New pic!! Lovely!  :-*
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on March 20, 2018, 04:13:18 pm
New pic!! Lovely!  :-*

Thank you!

For a little under 3 months on HRT, my cheeks are getting rosy, lol.  I have to give (I am) Jess credit as we had exchanged phone text this past weekend in an attempt to meet up and I sent her a pic of me with just the wig on - a first for me as I'm not presenting yet.

LOL, my daughter is telling me I should have bought a blond one but we'll see, there's always next month, lol
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 20, 2018, 04:16:47 pm
New pic!! Lovely!  :-*

Hi girlfriend!  There’s a rash of true life avatars popping up!  Cassi is the latest victim! 

The raccoon eyes Laurie in her last comment was speaking of was due to the fact that I was ganged up on with compliments, coupled with fresh patches that caused a flood of happy tears.  I only had it on for a few hours and streaksville!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on March 20, 2018, 04:19:58 pm
Hi girlfriend!  There’s a rash of true life avatars popping up!  Cassi is the latest victim! 

The raccoon eyes Laurie in her last comment was speaking of was due to the fact that I was ganged up on with compliments, coupled with fresh patches that caused a flood of happy tears.  I only had it on for a few hours and streaksville!

Next time that happens just claim it's your Johnny Depp's Edward Scissor hands impression :)
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jenniferangelina on March 20, 2018, 04:45:32 pm
Hi girlfriend!  There’s a rash of true life avatars popping up!  Cassi is the latest victim! 

The raccoon eyes Laurie in her last comment was speaking of was due to the fact that I was ganged up on with compliments, coupled with fresh patches that caused a flood of happy tears.  I only had it on for a few hours and streaksville!

My picture is me after going to ULTA and getting a makeup demo, I just feel odd in a wig so I'm in my natural brown short hair, time to grow it out
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jenniferangelina on March 20, 2018, 04:48:10 pm
Thank you!

For a little under 3 months on HRT, my cheeks are getting rosy, lol.  I have to give (I am) Jess credit as we had exchanged phone text this past weekend in an attempt to meet up and I sent her a pic of me with just the wig on - a first for me as I'm not presenting yet.

LOL, my daughter is telling me I should have bought a blond one but we'll see, there's always next month, lol

Love it darlin your really beautiful
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on March 20, 2018, 04:51:13 pm
Hi girlfriend!  There’s a rash of true life avatars popping up!  Cassi is the latest victim! 

The raccoon eyes Laurie in her last comment was speaking of was due to the fact that I was ganged up on with compliments, coupled with fresh patches that caused a flood of happy tears.  I only had it on for a few hours and streaksville!

Cassi's pic is beautiful as well but I was actually talking about you gorgeous :-*
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 20, 2018, 05:22:49 pm
Cassi's pic is beautiful as well but I was actually talking about you gorgeous :-*

Your so sweet!

Hugs and squeezes, jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on March 20, 2018, 05:49:19 pm
:(
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 20, 2018, 06:03:10 pm
:(

@Cassi

No sad faces!!
Don’t make me tell you a joke to make you smile!

You asked for it.....”Why did the Fly fly?.......because the Spider spider!”

Pudum bum 🥁
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on March 20, 2018, 06:06:03 pm
@Cassi

No sad faces!!
Don’t make me tell you a joke to make you smile!

You asked for it.....”Why did the Fly fly?.......because the Spider spider!”

Pudum bum 🥁

Drum roll please :)

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 20, 2018, 06:09:22 pm
Drum roll please :)

There ya go!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on March 20, 2018, 06:14:00 pm
There ya go!

Yippy Yippy Dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on March 20, 2018, 08:28:07 pm
Yippy Yippy Dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

She did say you were b.e.a.utiful!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on March 20, 2018, 08:38:59 pm
She did say you were b.e.a.utiful!

Oki from Doki
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on March 21, 2018, 11:45:06 am
:(

Haha your pic is very pretty as well :-*
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on March 21, 2018, 12:06:49 pm
Haha your pic is very pretty as well :-*

Thank you, thank you, thank you.........................................
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on March 31, 2018, 09:12:52 pm
Hi girlfriend!  There’s a rash of true life avatars popping up!  Cassi is the latest victim! 

The raccoon eyes Laurie in her last comment was speaking of was due to the fact that I was ganged up on with compliments, coupled with fresh patches that caused a flood of happy tears.  I only had it on for a few hours and streaksville!

Nothing like a flood of happy tears to ruin your mascara...but then again...happy tears are the ones we don't seem to get enough of...waterproof mascara is now your friend  ;D

Take care

Liz
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 02, 2018, 09:05:00 am
Hi friends!  I’ve had an especially eventful Easter weekend. 
After celebrating my wife’s and mine 37th anniversary, I fell into a funk.
Not sure why, but I’m climbing my way back to my normal jovial self.

We are revamping our backyard, after years of use it was time.  That entails not only scores of workers doing various tasks, but my own sweat equity plays a part.  My back can attest to the 20+ retaining wall posts and footings being dug up and yanked out.

Had my wife’s family gather on my brothers sailboat and we spent Easter and likewise April Fools spreading the ashes of my sister in law over the waters next to Angel Island in the SF Bay.  It was a beautiful day to pay our respects.

Got home and found that Cindy had asked me to become a Global Moderator here at Susan’s Place.  This buoyed my spirits and I accepted the offer.  I will have much to learn in the future and hope I can be as effective as all the other mods in time.

Hugs and smiles! Jessica Marie

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on April 02, 2018, 09:20:39 am
Jess, congrats on being a global moderator now!

I know you were feeling down when we spoke yesterday so I'm glad you are feeling better now :). Sending you love and kisses!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on April 02, 2018, 09:46:17 am
Get yourself out of that funk. (I could have said that differently but decided to be nice) and smile Sis. Congrats on the mod upgrade. Now the learning gets serious.

Hugs,
   Laurie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on April 02, 2018, 09:57:08 am
@ Jessica:  Wow, your 37 year wedding anniversary... Congratulations for sure.  That is most certainly a record in this day and age.

So sorry to hear about your feeling down, lots of issues as you mentioned, but certainly, like you stated, getting Cindy's notice of promotion along with a few other more happy things has hopefully lifted your spirits.

A big CONGRATULATIONS to you for getting that Global Moderator badge.... now the hard work here on Susan's Place begins for you, but as always you will be up to the task with your hard work ethic and dedication to doing the job right.

Best wishes and HUGS,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on April 02, 2018, 11:13:35 am
Congrats on the Global Mod promotion - definitely well deserved!

Happy anniversary, 37 years that's awesome.  If wife #1 and I had remained married we would have celebrated the 36th last month.  But things happen.  I was married for over 30 years - to three different women at different times of course.  I always say that because I think it's sooooooooooooo awesome when I hear about people being together for so long!

Cheers!

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: KathyLauren on April 02, 2018, 01:22:19 pm
Sorry you were feeling funky.  I am glad things are on the upswing.  Congratulations on your moderator position!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on April 02, 2018, 02:07:17 pm
Yay Jessica! Remember, everything in moderation... including moderation.


 - Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on April 02, 2018, 02:09:45 pm
Yay Jessica! Remember, everything in moderation... including moderation.


 - Stephanie

Yes, there will be someone monitoring the monitor with moderation..............................................
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on April 02, 2018, 02:13:56 pm
Yes, there will be someone monitoring the monitor with moderation..............................................

You’re being monitored.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180402/97c43ed422c12003d67a1f19d4737aed.jpg)


 - Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on April 02, 2018, 02:24:24 pm
Leaping Lizards!!!!!!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 02, 2018, 03:54:12 pm
Sorry you were feeling funky.  I am glad things are on the upswing.  Congratulations on your moderator position!

Thank you Kathy, I don’t know what it was, but I couldn’t concentrate and my thoughts were disjointed......hormones???

Yay Jessica! Remember, everything in moderation... including moderation.

 - Stephanie

Hugs to you Stephanie, sometimes moderation works, sometimes you gotta just dive right in.

@ Jessica:  Wow, your 37 year wedding anniversary... Congratulations for sure.  That is most certainly a record in this day and age.

So sorry to hear about your feeling down, lots of issues as you mentioned, but certainly, like you stated, getting Cindy's notice of promotion along with a few other more happy things has hopefully lifted your spirits.

A big CONGRATULATIONS to you for getting that Global Moderator badge.... now the hard work here on Susan's Place begins for you, but as always you will be up to the task with your hard work ethic and dedication to doing the job right.

Best wishes and HUGS,
Danielle

Kisses for the well wishes Danielle.  The bond of love is strong in our marriage.  We have many common interests, likes and dislikes.  So it’s a matter of we like to be with each other.

My sweet Danielle, you three haven’t seen the last of me.  Watch out, I will be posting a welcome at the same time as you before you know it....... (after school or if I play hooky!)




Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 02, 2018, 03:56:54 pm
Congrats on the Global Mod promotion - definitely well deserved!

Happy anniversary, 37 years that's awesome.  If wife #1 and I had remained married we would have celebrated the 36th last month.  But things happen.  I was married for over 30 years - to three different women at different times of course.  I always say that because I think it's sooooooooooooo awesome when I hear about people being together for so long!

Cheers!

Thank you Cassi, I appreciate your kind words and yes it is awesome.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on April 02, 2018, 04:04:06 pm
- - - - -
snipped
 - - - - -
My sweet Danielle, you three haven’t seen the last of me.  Watch out, I will be posting a welcome at the same time as you before you know it....... (after school or if I play hooky!)

Jessica:
I have no doubts about that....  in the recent past we have had a good time being a very effective tag-team on the Official Greeters circuit. 
Sometimes you got there first and sometimes I got there first... but the job was done even though we had fun doing it....     lots of good times for sure and YES, there is no doubt that you, as a Global Moderator will continue to Greet the newbies...   just as the other Moderators and Greeters are doing when they see the need.
Hugs to you,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 02, 2018, 04:09:51 pm
Get yourself out of that funk. (I could have said that differently but decided to be nice) and smile Sis. Congrats on the mod upgrade. Now the learning gets serious.

Hugs,
   Laurie

I promise to snap to, big sis.  When you return, you can be my Sweet Sue (“Some Like it Hot”) and keep me in line, by giving me only enough rope to not hang myself with.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 02, 2018, 04:12:18 pm
Jess, congrats on being a global moderator now!

I know you were feeling down when we spoke yesterday so I'm glad you are feeling better now :). Sending you love and kisses!

You have been my strongest and first support, dear friend.  We have come a long way girlfriend!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on April 02, 2018, 05:20:43 pm

Jessica:
I have no doubts about that....  in the recent past we have had a good time being a very effective tag-team on the Official Greeters circuit. 
Sometimes you got there first and sometimes I got there first... but the job was done even though we had fun doing it....     lots of good times for sure and YES, there is no doubt that you, as a Global Moderator will continue to Greet the newbies...   just as the other Moderators and Greeters are doing when they see the need.
Hugs to you,
Danielle

You guys are just wayyy too efficient! Admittedly I’ve been overwhelmingly busy for the last three weeks, and will be for two more before things finally calm down, but wow, y’all are fast! By the time I find someone new they’re warmly in the fold. And that’s a good thing. Carry on and I’ll be able to jump in with both feet soon.


 - Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 02, 2018, 05:24:43 pm
You guys are just wayyy too efficient! Admittedly I’ve been overwhelmingly busy for the last three weeks, and will be for two more before things finally calm down, but wow, y’all are fast! By the time I find someone new they’re warmly in the fold. And that’s a good thing. Carry on and I’ll be able to jump in with both feet soon.


 - Stephanie

After catching up on your trip and thread, I have to agree you’ve been busy.
I will be visiting “the big fruit” next September......it should be warmer by then.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Bari Jo on April 03, 2018, 06:26:38 am
Congrats on getting out of the funk and levelling up to moderator.  I would love to help myself, but finding time too precious at the moment.  Still, I'm so happy for you.

Bari Jo
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on April 03, 2018, 07:06:49 am
After catching up on your trip and thread, I have to agree you’ve been busy.
I will be visiting “the big fruit” next September......it should be warmer by then.

If they stick to the schedule, I may be back in NYC in September to meet Dr. Ting. How cool would it be for us to meet up there?

Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 03, 2018, 09:24:50 am
Congrats on getting out of the funk and levelling up to moderator.  I would love to help myself, but finding time too precious at the moment.  Still, I'm so happy for you.

Bari Jo

Thank you @Bari Jo!  Being retired does give me more free time to help, but I do have precious time I spend with my grandson.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 03, 2018, 09:27:04 am
If they stick to the schedule, I may be back in NYC in September to meet Dr. Ting. How cool would it be for us to meet up there?

Stephanie

That would be awesome Stephanie!  I believe we will be there in the early half of September.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on April 03, 2018, 10:02:26 am
Thank you @Bari JoBeing retired does give me more free time to help, but I do have precious time I spend with my grandson.

OK Jessica, I may have to look in the dictionary to get a definition of being retired....   I don't have a concept of that yet at 38 years old and being self-employed running my own small business..... but kudos to you for wisely using your extra free time, first of course, spending time with your grand-kids and family... they always come first.   Then it is nice that you have the time to devote to the Moderator duties here on Susan's.   Your life experience and dedication to helping those that are transtioning is not only admired and noticed by me, but by everyone that reads your posts and replies on the Forums.
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 03, 2018, 10:11:19 am
OK Jessica, I may have to look in the dictionary to get a definition of being retired....   I don't have a concept of that yet at 38 years old and being self-employed running my own small business..... but kudos to you for wisely using your extra free time, first of course, spending time with your grand-kids and family... they always come first.   Then it is nice that you have the time to devote to the Moderator duties here on Susan's.   Your life experience and dedication to helping those that are transtioning is not only admired and noticed by me, but by everyone that reads your posts and replies on the Forums.
Hugs,
Danielle

I’ll have you know that I tend to be on the emotional side (ask Laurie), and when I blush, my eyes leak. 

As far as retirement.... it’s the state of work related structural failure, instituting being put out to pasture and being fed yummy oats.

Smiles, Jess


Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on April 03, 2018, 10:43:40 am
I’ll have you know that I tend to be on the emotional side (ask Laurie), and when I blush, my eyes leak. 

As far as retirement.... it’s the state of work related structural failure, instituting being put out to pasture and being fed yummy oats.

Smiles, Jess

@ Jessica:  As you certainly are aware, you are not alone,  HRT not only changes our body but it changes our mental state... after 3+ years of HRT and going full time about a year and a half ago.... I am many times am an emotional,  crying, babbling mess. 
I can hardly watch a romance movie on Hallmark without using an entire box of tissues any more.

Oh .... and enjoy your yummy oats.   Just wondering, do you miss the work environment at all???
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 03, 2018, 01:25:22 pm
@ Jessica:  As you certainly are aware, you are not alone,  HRT not only changes our body but it changes our mental state... after 3+ years of HRT and going full time about a year and a half ago.... I am many times am an emotional,  crying, babbling mess. 
I can hardly watch a romance movie on Hallmark without using an entire box of tissues any more.

Oh .... and enjoy your yummy oats.   Just wondering, do you miss the work environment at all???
Hugs,
Danielle

I can go through Downtown SF and point out 30+ buildings I had a hand in. 
Do I miss that.... yes, but for 30 years, the company I worked for was a close knit family atmosphere type of shop.  In the last 4 years they went corporate and I became a number.
Buh bye!  I didn’t need it, but my knowledge was shared to my close crew and I still continue in that way.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 03, 2018, 01:34:14 pm
Just had an interesting conversation with my daughter in law.  She was telling me about how her endocrine system was all out of whack.  That her T was super high and described various ailments she was having from that and what she was taking.
I took the opportunity to open up a dialogue with her about my transgender issue w/o being to obvious, since my grandson was in the other room.  She is the next person I would tell and I trust her like a daughter.  I have requested we have a private talk soon.
The kicker here is she is a Sephora distributor and I see this as a bonus in the future.

Wow, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on April 03, 2018, 01:37:24 pm
I can go through Downtown SF and point out 30+ buildings I had a hand in.
Do I miss that.... yes, but for 30 years, the company I worked for was a close knit family atmosphere type of shop.  In the last 4 years they went corporate and I became a number.
Buh bye!  I didn’t need it, but my knowledge was shared to my close crew and I still continue in that way.

@ Jessica
, hopefully you didn't have a hand in with that leaning Condo skyscraper that has cracks in the inadequate foundation....  !!!!   How can something like that happen in an earthquake zone like SF???

Oh yeah, even though I don't have the long work experience that you have, I had "close knit" co-workers and subordinates in the company that I worked for before I transitioned... then when the company was bought out by larger one, it all changed for the worse. 
Not only did my transition from my old male self to Full-Time female over 1 1/2 years ago compel me to quit but also the fact that working there was no longer a pleasant thing.   
Now that I have started and own my own small business...  I get along with the boss very well !!! usually !!!
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on April 03, 2018, 01:44:10 pm
Just had an interesting conversation with my daughter in law.  She was telling me about how her endocrine system was all out of whack.  That her T was super high and described various ailments she was having from that and what she was taking.
I took the opportunity to open up a dialogue with her about my transgender issue w/o being to obvious, since my grandson was in the other room.  She is the next person I would tell and I trust her like a daughter.  I have requested we have a private talk soon.
The kicker here is she is a Sephora distributor and I see this as a bonus in the future.

Wow, Jess
@ Jessica:  I take it that even though you have obvious HRT body changes that she is not fully aware of your transition? ...  or is she already now somewhat aware of that?   It sounds like she is inadvertently going through a hormone crisis similar to like we trans do.   Yes, a private talk will certainly be in order.

Ahhh, yes, cosmetics now available from a relative!!!  Good news for sure.
Hugs,
Danielle

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 03, 2018, 01:57:28 pm
@ Jessica:  I take it that even though you have obvious HRT body changes that she is not fully aware of your transition? ...  or is she already now somewhat aware of that?   It sounds like she is inadvertently going through a hormone crisis similar to like we trans do.   Yes, a private talk will certainly be in order.

Ahhh, yes, cosmetics now available from a relative!!!  Good news for sure.
Hugs,
Danielle

She does not seem to be aware of any changes...other than me removing a mustache I have sported since I was 16, or my hair getting longer, she has remarked I look younger. 
I did tell her that I was on T blockers and other medications this morning and that they help me feel better.  So she may put two and two together by the time we have our private chat.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on April 03, 2018, 02:54:46 pm
Just had an interesting conversation with my daughter in law.  She was telling me about how her endocrine system was all out of whack.  That her T was super high and described various ailments she was having from that and what she was taking.
I took the opportunity to open up a dialogue with her about my transgender issue w/o being to obvious, since my grandson was in the other room.  She is the next person I would tell and I trust her like a daughter.  I have requested we have a private talk soon.
The kicker here is she is a Sephora distributor and I see this as a bonus in the future.

Wow, Jess

Jess, it's great that you're gonna find a new ally.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 03, 2018, 03:15:35 pm
Jess, it's great that you're gonna find a new ally.

It is kinda nice.  I’ve always felt close to her.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on April 03, 2018, 03:24:13 pm
Jessica, I had a similar experience with my sister-in-law, and a friend named Michelle.

I had told them I was starting a long term medical treatment, that I had endocrine system problems (which have been successfully treated, BTW) and that there might be some physical changes as a result.  My skin appearance was already starting to shift at this point, about 4 months into HRT.

They guessed what was up.  Michelle even talked with her husband about this, and had wondered if I might wind up using the same first name as hers.  Yup!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on April 03, 2018, 03:29:56 pm

@ Jessica
, hopefully you didn't have a hand in with that leaning Condo skyscraper that has cracks in the inadequate foundation....  !!!!   How can something like that happen in an earthquake zone like SF???

Oh yeah, even though I don't have the long work experience that you have, I had "close knit" co-workers and subordinates in the company that I worked for before I transitioned... then when the company was bought out by larger one, it all changed for the worse. 
Not only did my transition from my old male self to Full-Time female over 1 1/2 years ago compel me to quit but also the fact that working there was no longer a pleasant thing.   
Now that I have started and own my own small business...  I get along with the boss very well !!! usually !!!
Hugs,
Danielle

I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m really lucky that I work where I do. The boss is trans, believe it or not, and recently one of the employees started transitioning.

Of course, I’m self-employed.

Stephanie
Boss, employee, and bottlewasher.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 03, 2018, 03:34:15 pm
Jessica, I had a similar experience with my sister-in-law, and a friend named Michelle.

I had told them I was starting a long term medical treatment, that I had endocrine system problems (which have been successfully treated, BTW) and that there might be some physical changes as a result.  My skin appearance was already starting to shift at this point, about 4 months into HRT.

They guessed what was up.  Michelle even talked with her husband about this, and had wondered if I might wind up using the same first name as hers.  Yup!

That is on the lines of what I was going to start with, and evolve from there.
On that matter, I know my Sephora pallet...what is yours and Laurie’s?
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 03, 2018, 03:43:19 pm

@ Jessica
, hopefully you didn't have a hand in with that leaning Condo skyscraper that has cracks in the inadequate foundation....  !!!!   How can something like that happen in an earthquake zone like SF???

Oh yeah, even though I don't have the long work experience that you have, I had "close knit" co-workers and subordinates in the company that I worked for before I transitioned... then when the company was bought out by larger one, it all changed for the worse. 
Not only did my transition from my old male self to Full-Time female over 1 1/2 years ago compel me to quit but also the fact that working there was no longer a pleasant thing.   
Now that I have started and own my own small business...  I get along with the boss very well !!! usually !!!
Hugs,
Danielle

I had nothing to do with that building......it was my brother, I tells ya!
Actually it started the year I retired and I do believe my brother was on that one. (different company, we couldn’t work together, him being 7 years older and me his boss chapped his hide)

Give your boss a hug for me, Jess


Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 05, 2018, 03:19:26 pm
Hi friends,  I’ve just had a terrible time in the last 24 hrs.  My wife, who had professed support for me, told me yesterday, after I questioned her about it, that she hadn’t ever been onboard.  That she didn’t want to be in my way and would just leave when she had enough and pull the rug out from under me.  She has always avoided any confrontation, but still knowing this I read her supportive comments incorrectly.
I crashed.....seeing this enlightened her to realizing that we will end if she did not engage in communication.  I told her I would rather quit it all than loose her, to which she said she wanted me to continue and she will actively seek help, instead of just saying “whatever makes you happy”.
I do feel hurt that after being together for 38 years, she felt she couldn’t talk about it, and that she would have given me all the support I needed (with the belief she would always be there) then just pick up stakes and leave.
She has told me she has no intention of leaving at this point, and I believe her.  She has no problem with me being feminine, and me being gender fluid allows me to be comfortable in each role, but she is nervous about breast growth and she knows I want them.  I’ve told her the meds will do that, but the other advantages of hrt are important for my health.  She has promised to get counseling and that communication will be paramount.
So I am continuing on a path that will have my wife actually trying to help me rather than placate me.

Time will tell, Jessica
 

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on April 05, 2018, 03:29:17 pm
Dear Jessica:  My heart goes out to you for what you just reported regarding relationship issues with your wife... and it was not too long ago that you had posted about your enjoyable 37th wedding anniversary....  I am so very, very sorry for you that you are going through this.

I guess that the silver lining of this dark cloud that you have found yourself to be under is that she is willing to be supportive of your transition and she has promised to get counseling (hopefully the both of you together at times) and that, at least at this time, she is not planning to leave you.

I really hope, trust and pray that you and her can come to a peaceful co-existence that still exhibits love and deep friendship.

May you come to terms with all of this and get back to your happy self as soon as you can.

Hugs and best wishes,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on April 05, 2018, 09:06:48 pm
Jessica, I am sorry this hasd happened to you.

I went through something similar, but it ended poorly.

Communications is paramount, so please, please keep that open.  I am VERY glad to hear that your spouse will be seeking counseling, as that is important in understanding, clarifying, and processing the transition for both of you.  I am happy to read that she is willing to be supportive, a very good thing.

I know this will be a difficult period to get through, and I do wish you all of the best. 

Michelle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 05, 2018, 10:27:05 pm
Thank you Danielle and Michelle 🌸🌸🌸 I very much appreciate your support. 

Hugs, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Mariah on April 05, 2018, 10:32:20 pm
Sorry to hear about that Jessica. I can only hope with help that she will be able to stay in your court. I know my spouse has worried from time to time about my support and like you offered to stop it all to ensure no loss of me, however I told them no please do continue. I have no I doubt that if I can manage that your wife will too. I think in our case we are closer together. I can only hope that in the end it does the same for both of you too. Hang in there. Hugs
Mariah
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on April 05, 2018, 11:47:21 pm
Hi Sis,

  That kind of news would certainly throw someone for a loop It is a blow to discover that things were not how you perceived them to be. The hurt is there and trust takes a hit also. The 24 hours very hard on you I am sure. But obviously the two of you have been talking and she does seem to be willing to at least seek some professional help. There is still hope that she will change her mind altogether. If she goes into it with an open mind. It could be worse. The willingness to try something can be all it takes to give it a chance.
  Imagine where I would be had I not been willing to try those anti-depressant pills.... It is spring and I am still here. There is still hope if there is willingness to try. I hope hoping for the best for both of you, Sis.

Hugs,
  Laurie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on April 06, 2018, 01:11:51 am
Jess very sorry for that. I'll text you so we can talk offline.

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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Bari Jo on April 06, 2018, 03:40:31 am
Jess, the pain from this news must be awful.  However, I can see communication on this is now truly open, where's before it wasn't.  This can be good news too.  I'm glad she will seek counseling as well.  We are all pulling for you of course.  I know a few married couples that are still together even after transition, so it can be done.  This can still pull you both together tighter than before.

Bari Jo
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 06, 2018, 11:21:02 am
Thank you @Laurie, @Charlie Nicki and @Bari Jo!  I’m feeling much better since we have talked more in depth and have clarified both our needs.

Hugs, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 10, 2018, 09:48:54 am
Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ I have had my nose in the books, learning a skill that I’ve had all along, but in a different format.  Digital is easier than hard copy, but finding the route of connections can be a challenge.  As it is, I only learned last week how to create bold and underlined sentences.  This is a far cry from when I was young and communication consisted letters and landline phones, along with 3 television networks in total.
What a change society has made in such a short time. 
Where would we be without it?

Smiles, Jessica
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on April 10, 2018, 10:12:42 am
Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ I have had my nose in the books, learning a skill that I’ve had all along, but in a different format.  Digital is easier than hard copy, but finding the route of connections can be a challenge.  As it is, I only learned last week how to create bold and underlined sentences.  This is a far cry from when I was young and communication consisted letters and landline phones, along with 3 television networks in total.
What a change society has made in such a short time. 
Where would we be without it?

Smiles, Jessica

@ Jessica:  I have mixed feelings about "digital" versus "hard copy" 
With Digital is certainly very easy to make corrections, additions and deletions... and as you mentioned you can easily underline, bold, change font face, change font size, change color, etc, etc.... and the spell check is wonderful, it makes me look smart!!

That all is fine and dandy but with that all said, for my personal journal that I have kept since I was a teen (they called them diaries back then)  I prefer using pen and paper... that allows all kinds of doodleing and creative things can end up on the paper.......  I know, I know, that can be done digitally also... but I still like to write my journal with pen and paper... it all ends up in a big book that I can still read even if the power lines go down and my computer battery is dead.

Thanks for posting your Jess's Mess story....
.... it is nice to keep up (all in one place) with what is happening with you.
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 10, 2018, 10:37:40 am
Thanks for posting your Jess's Mess story....
.... it is nice to keep up (all in one place) with what is happening with you.
Hugs,
Danielle

Too many parts of ones story get fragmented when related too many times.  Keeping a dairy keeps it in perspective and relevant to the moment, but gives a way to glance back at previous thoughts.
I glad you see value in it.  And you seem happier for taking the advice.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cassi on April 10, 2018, 12:42:52 pm
My heart goes out to you in light of recent events and hope all turns out well.  I've been truly amazed when I have read about spouses being supportive and remaining with the person and have always felt that it is probably just as difficult for the significant other to deal with as it is with us.

My thoughts and prayers go with you!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 10, 2018, 02:56:41 pm
Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ I have a lunch date tomorrow with some wonderful women friends (the badgers are staying home I hope).  So I have, for the first time, shaved my legs.  They had started looking patchy from hair loss.  Now they are smooth!  I believe I will wear a dress tomorrow... another first in public.
Went to the salon with my wife and another girlfriend for mani/pedis and got pretty, pink nail polish on my hands, another first again.

A trifecta!  Jess 💁‍♀️
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on April 10, 2018, 03:18:09 pm
Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ I have a lunch date tomorrow with some wonderful women friends (the badgers are staying home I hope).  So I have, for the first time, shaved my legs.  They had started looking patchy from hair loss.  Now they are smooth!  I believe I will wear a dress tomorrow... another first in public.
Went to the salon with my wife and another girlfriend for mani/pedis and got pretty, pink nail polish on my hands, another first again.

A trifecta!  Jess 💁‍♀️

Jessica:
Yes indeed, a trifecta... especially the part about going to the salon with your wife of 37 years....  I am so very, very happy to hear that.

Hopefully soon, with more HRT your leg hair and most body hair just might start getting so thin that you won't have to shave very often... or at all.  I have not had to shave my leg hair for almost 2 years now and they are still as smooth as a baby's bottom.

Ya know, we are going to have to see a picture of you in your dress... and we want to see your pretty nails also.
Your readers here are curious and want to know!!!! 
We are rooting for you!!! ;)

Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 10, 2018, 05:20:53 pm
Jessica:
Yes indeed, a trifecta... especially the part about going to the salon with your wife of 37 years....  I am so very, very happy to hear that.

Hopefully soon, with more HRT your leg hair and most body hair just might start getting so thin that you won't have to shave very often... or at all.  I have not had to shave my leg hair for almost 2 years now and they are still as smooth as a baby's bottom.

Ya know, we are going to have to see a picture of you in your dress... and we want to see your pretty nails also.
Your readers here are curious and want to know!!!! 
We are rooting for you!!! ;)

Hugs,
Danielle

How do I look girlfriend?


https://imgur.com/a/L7vm6
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on April 10, 2018, 05:33:25 pm
How do I look girlfriend?

(https://imgur.com/a/L7vm6l.jpeg)


Jessica,
I looked at your picture,
.... and you may have not followed my instructions completely for posting...
.... re: Step #6 and Step #7
I will help you if you wish!!

By the way.... you look absolutely wonderful... have fun with your lunch date.... and keep us updated.
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 10, 2018, 05:38:12 pm

Jessica,
I looked at your picture,
.... and you may have not follow my instructions completely for posting....   I will help you if you wish!!

By the way.... you look absolutely wonderful... have fun with your lunch date.... and keep us updated.
Danielle

My iPhone doesn’t allow all the commands you suggested. 
Have to get out the big guns
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on April 10, 2018, 05:45:37 pm
Jessica:  I posted it for you, next time it would be better if you used your desktop or laptop.

left click on photo to enlarge.....
(https://i.imgur.com/oW4ikyt.jpg)

Again, you look great, your dress, your hair and your shiny nails...  I enjoyed seeing you all dressed up.
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 10, 2018, 05:48:34 pm
laptop did it

(https://i.imgur.com/bUSr0F4.jpg)

lots of firsts today
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Mariah on April 10, 2018, 06:03:43 pm
Lovely picture Jessica. Hugs
Mariah
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on April 10, 2018, 09:38:12 pm
Looking Great Jessica and congrats on your move to the Mod Squad  ;D
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 10, 2018, 09:48:01 pm
Looking Great Jessica and congrats on your move to the Mod Squad  ;D

Thank you so much Liz!  This is the dress I’m wearing tomorrow at lunch with Michelle and Laurie.   I’m not sure where we are going, but as I recall Laurie’s craving for manicotti had not been sated.

And thank you for the congrats!  I’m starting to get a hang of things, but there is much I need to practice and learn. 

Hugs and smiles 💁‍♀️ Jessica
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on April 11, 2018, 08:08:39 am
Jess, really nice dress! I love it. Hopefully heels next time? :)

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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 11, 2018, 10:01:44 am
Jess, really nice dress! I love it. Hopefully heels next time? :)

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Thank you sweetheart!  Heels??  Maybe for a picture, but I’m tall enough at 5-10
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 12, 2018, 12:08:05 am
Just spent a wonderful afternoon with these two very special women

(https://i.imgur.com/FF178or.jpg)
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Kendra on April 12, 2018, 12:28:29 am
Cool!!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 12, 2018, 11:11:10 am

(https://i.imgur.com/jAUPM9h.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/Cp3C4tn.jpg)
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on April 12, 2018, 11:40:18 am
(https://i.imgur.com/jAUPM9h.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/Cp3C4tn.jpg)

Jessica;   Aweeee... thanks for posting these very nice pictures of YOU and your lunch friends....
You look very, very nice and so do your lady friends.   
Again, thanks for posting.
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 12, 2018, 12:05:11 pm
Jessica;   Aweeee... thanks for posting these very nice pictures of YOU and your lunch friends....
You look very, very nice and so do your lady friends.   
Again, thanks for posting.
Danielle

@Michelle_P and @Laurie would be thrilled that you mistook them for cis-women in your PM to me.
I should get a picture of myself and the other women in my running group as we run Bay to Breakers, all as mermaids.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on April 12, 2018, 12:09:29 pm
@Michelle_P and @Laurie would be thrilled that you mistook them for cis-women in your PM to me.
I should get a picture of myself and the other women in my running group as we run Bay to Breakers, all as mermaids.

Well @Jessica:   I called it as I saw it ..  :o .. all three of you ladies look absolutely wonderful....   I would bet a dime to a doughnut that none of you were mis-gendered at your lunch....  re: @Laurie & @Michelle_P
...  congratulations to all three of you for looking very beautiful.
 ;)   Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: KathyLauren on April 12, 2018, 12:55:51 pm
(https://i.imgur.com/jAUPM9h.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/Cp3C4tn.jpg)
Stripes-r-us!  Great photo of some beautiful ladies!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on April 12, 2018, 12:57:01 pm
Jess you have such a beautiful smile!

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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 12, 2018, 03:06:16 pm
Well Jessica:   I called it as I saw it ..  :o .. all three of you ladies look absolutely wonderful....   I would bet a dime to a doughnut that none of you were mis-gendered at your lunch.... 
...  congratulations to all three of you for looking very beautiful.
 ;)   Danielle

We were called ladies multiple times and a guy even held the door for us!

Stripes-r-us!  Great photo of some beautiful ladies!

Thank you Kathy!  We did all go in that direction.  Horizontal??

Jess you have such a beautiful smile!




You’re so sweet my dear friend.
I do know you have a beautiful smile also.
That last pic you showed me, you were very cute!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 21, 2018, 03:34:37 pm
I have found myself in another adventure with Laurie and Michelle.  We all three took BART to the City to enjoy the Museum of Modern Art.  There were again a number of first for me as I am becoming more comfortable in public as a woman.  One of those firsts was a street person calling us out.  Ignored!  If he had said Mouseketeers instead of Musketeers, I would have said "yes I'm Annette".  Inside we were treated like ladies and enjoyed the exhibits.  One was a dark room with dim light bulbs hanging from an unseen darkness in a sloped grid.  Occasionally a pattern in the lights would emerge what appeared to be a shadow of a flock of birds.  Michelle and I thought it was wondrous in the way light was communicating to us......Laurie saw a bunch of light bulbs hanging from a ceiling.  I experienced another "first" soon after when I used the ladies room by myself, washed my hands, brushed my hair out, like I belonged there.
We closed the museum and walked through the City to the restaurant Michelle had made reservations for dinner. I had a enjoyable meal with these two delightful ladies and feel so blessed that I can truly call them friends.
When we left the restaurant, the temperature had drop enough to send a chill through me.  It wasn't that my legs were cold, though I was wearing the shortest dress I ever had, my nylons kept them warm.  After I buttoned up my jacket, I started to feel warmer.  When we reached the underground BART station. it was much warmer and were lucky to have our train at the platform waiting for us.  I have to say there were no young men to offer their seats to us, but there was one that got up for an elderly woman, which I would have too.  Chatted the whole way back without a care, except each other.  Very freeing being with these wonderful women, showing me how to be who I am.  I'm looking forward to the next adventure.....hopefully in Astoria!

(https://i.imgur.com/QVMMOyt.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/iB9kKE6.jpg)
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on April 21, 2018, 04:12:05 pm
I have found myself in another adventure with Laurie and Michelle.  We all three took BART to the City to enjoy the Museum of Modern Art.  There were again a number of first for me as I am becoming more comfortable in public as a woman.  One of those firsts was a street person calling us out.  Ignored!  If he had said Mouseketeers instead of Musketeers, I would have said "yes I'm Annette".  Inside we were treated like ladies and enjoyed the exhibits.  One was a dark room with dim light bulbs hanging from an unseen darkness in a sloped grid.  Occasionally a pattern in the lights would emerge what appeared to be a shadow of a flock of birds.  Michelle and I thought it was wondrous in the way light was communicating to us......Laurie saw a bunch of light bulbs hanging from a ceiling.  I experienced another "first" soon after when I used the ladies room by myself, washed my hands, brushed my hair out, like I belonged there.
We closed the museum and walked through the City to the restaurant Michelle had made reservations for dinner. I had a enjoyable meal with these two delightful ladies and feel so blessed that I can truly call them friends.
When we left the restaurant, the temperature had drop enough to send a chill through me.  It wasn't that my legs were cold, though I was wearing the shortest dress I ever had, my nylons kept them warm.  After I buttoned up my jacket, I started to feel warmer.  When we reached the underground BART station. it was much warmer and were lucky to have our train at the platform waiting for us.  I have to say there were no young men to offer their seats to us, but there was one that got up for an elderly woman, which I would have too.  Chatted the whole way back without a care, except each other.  Very freeing being with these wonderful women, showing me how to be who I am.  I'm looking forward to the next adventure.....hopefully in Astoria!

(https://i.imgur.com/QVMMOyt.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/iB9kKE6.jpg)

@Jessica, @Michelle_P@Laurie    Very pretty ladies ... ALL THREE
It appears that you had a very fun time together...
Thanks for posting and sharing your pictures with all of us.
Hugs to all...
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 21, 2018, 08:58:23 pm

@Jessica, @Michelle_P@Laurie    Very pretty ladies ... ALL THREE
It appears that you had a very fun time together...
Thanks for posting and sharing your pictures with all of us.
Hugs to all...
Danielle

Thank you @Alaskan Danielle   It is nice, as you know, to have a day out with the girls.  Especially friends!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on April 21, 2018, 09:43:07 pm
When I was chatting to your two mentors the other day they said they had something nice in store for your outing. Sounds like you all had a wonderful time. Those firsts you describe can be very daunting especially using the bathroom for the first time on your own, I know for me it kind of felt wrong but right but weird...it is also a great confidence builder. I am glad you navigated the whole evening without any unpleasantness from anyone...it makes life that much sweeter.
Well done on your achievements

Take care

Liz
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on April 22, 2018, 11:32:21 am
Nice pics Jess!! Seems like you had fun :)

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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on April 22, 2018, 12:49:08 pm
   Michelle and I find pleasure in bringing our younger sister along. Not only on outings, which as we all know is nice to do do in groups, but also in the little things like what to wear and small nuances that cover or enhance our visual presentations. Small things such as adding a contrasting belt to give a better impression of having a waistline. Or buttoning a button or two to create a waist and hips, or selecting eye shadows for the mood of the day. Perhaps a little highlighter or contouring to subtly change the shape of brow, cheeks or nose. But most of all the fun of getting ready and doing things together as the women we are. The joy of being women out together and the rest of the world be damned.
   I'm afraid Jessica and Michelle are correct. I am unable to see beyond the physical composition to the artful interpretations of things. I seem to have a simple logical mind that sees what is there and how it it put together. The one thing of the few things we saw that peaked my interest was the living wall.  A 30 foot high wall of growing plants. I think it said there were 29 varieties of plants there but that was lost on me. What struck me was it was a vertical growing green surface with one purple bloom standing out alone over in the upper right hand area. One bit of color in a sea of browns and greens. I wiouldn't have known (or even cared) how many plants were there had I not walk over to look closer at how the plants were growing. They wall in compose of a brown surface wit small pockets on soil built into it. The sign just happened to be there to read. What it said beyond the number of varieties I couldn't tell you. To me it mattered not.
  Jessica was impressed by the structural art of some guy who conceptualizes art in metal structures with shapes of curves, points, colors, stresses and balance. She sees the balance and beauty in the pieces and understand the esthetics of the piece. I see cut hunks of painted metal held together with rivets, bolts, and welds.
  On another floor on a table by itself sat an old roll paper printer that someone allowed to run unchecked so it made a piled mess of printed paper on the floor behind it. That is what I saw. What others see in it I have no idea. I thought of the time and effort it would take to make that mess neat again.
  Though conceptual art is completely lost on me I am able to enjoy my time with two of my girlfriends doing what they enjoyed. Spending time with them and the people I have met on this little road trip is my concept of art.

  Hugs,
    Laurie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 23, 2018, 09:30:01 am
   Michelle and I find pleasure in bringing our younger sister along. Not only on outings, which as we all know is nice to do do in groups, but also in the little things like what to wear and small nuances that cover or enhance our visual presentations. Small things such as adding a contrasting belt to give a better impression of having a waistline. Or buttoning a button or two to create a waist and hips, or selecting eye shadows for the mood of the day. Perhaps a little highlighter or contouring to subtly change the shape of brow, cheeks or nose. But most of all the fun of getting ready and doing things together as the women we are. The joy of being women out together and the rest of the world be damned.
   I'm afraid Jessica and Michelle are correct. I am unable to see beyond the physical composition to the artful interpretations of things. I seem to have a simple logical mind that sees what is there and how it it put together. The one thing of the few things we saw that peaked my interest was the living wall.  A 30 foot high wall of growing plants. I think it said there were 29 varieties of plants there but that was lost on me. What struck me was it was a vertical growing green surface with one purple bloom standing out alone over in the upper right hand area. One bit of color in a sea of browns and greens. I wiouldn't have known (or even cared) how many plants were there had I not walk over to look closer at how the plants were growing. They wall in compose of a brown surface wit small pockets on soil built into it. The sign just happened to be there to read. What it said beyond the number of varieties I couldn't tell you. To me it mattered not.
  Jessica was impressed by the structural art of some guy who conceptualizes art in metal structures with shapes of curves, points, colors, stresses and balance. She sees the balance and beauty in the pieces and understand the esthetics of the piece. I see cut hunks of painted metal held together with rivets, bolts, and welds.
  On another floor on a table by itself sat an old roll paper printer that someone allowed to run unchecked so it made a piled mess of printed paper on the floor behind it. That is what I saw. What others see in it I have no idea. I thought of the time and effort it would take to make that mess neat again.
  Though conceptual art is completely lost on me I am able to enjoy my time with two of my girlfriends doing what they enjoyed. Spending time with them and the people I have met on this little road trip is my concept of art.

  Hugs,
    Laurie

@Laurie you are my big sister.  I look up to you, you have helped me on a very hard path to travel on.  You hold my hand when I stumble and dry my tears with your hugs.  You have shown me how I can project who I am to the world.  If it wasn’t for you, I may have jumped off that path.  Your calm demeanor brought me to understanding the value we all have for each other.

I believe that “what you do, comes back to you”, this is clearly true.  You give so much love, is it any wonder why so many love you.  I truly love you as my sister and I’m so happy you have found Michelle’s love too!

Little sis
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 23, 2018, 10:01:28 am
Nice pics Jess!! Seems like you had fun :)

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Thank you Dani ( @Charlie Nicki ) your support that you give to me has been a great help also.  We have been close friends since we both started on our paths.  I love you dearly for being there for me.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on April 23, 2018, 10:02:52 am
Thank you Dani ( @Charlie Nicki ) your support that you give to me has been a great help also.  We have been close friends since we both started on our paths.  I love you dearly for being there for me.

I love you too girl!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on April 23, 2018, 12:02:43 pm
Jessica, one more for your album!

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180423/6ea37621fdd6825fe684518a880ed5c5.jpg)



Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on April 23, 2018, 12:39:07 pm
Jessica, one more for your album!

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180423/6ea37621fdd6825fe684518a880ed5c5.jpg)



Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

The Three Amigas....  beautiful ladies, thanks @Michelle_P ... @Laurie ... @Jessica ...
...for posting this terrific picture of all 3 soul-sisters
Hugs to all,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 23, 2018, 09:49:03 pm
Jessica, one more for your album!

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180423/6ea37621fdd6825fe684518a880ed5c5.jpg)



Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Thank you @Michelle_P for posting this picture!  That was the day that you and Laurie were under the pendant spell cast by @Devlyn Marie.  Some day she will rule the world through them!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Devlyn on April 24, 2018, 07:29:35 pm
You can tell when the spell has taken just by the smiling.  :)  That's my plan to rule the world.  :)

Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 24, 2018, 10:25:23 pm
You can tell when the spell has taken just by the smiling.  :)  That's my plan to rule the world.  :)

Hugs, Devlyn

There is genius to your madnessssssss!

There must be an aura of influence created by the two so close to each other, evidenced by my smile.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on April 25, 2018, 09:15:05 am
Jessica, one more for your album!

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180423/6ea37621fdd6825fe684518a880ed5c5.jpg)



Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Awww <3
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on April 29, 2018, 05:04:55 pm
Today my wife showed me she does understand me.  She has given me support from the beginning, but I was never certain she understood the gender fluid identity I have.
She gave me a birthday card today as I turn 62.  It says it all.

(https://i.imgur.com/lDYkweJ.jpg)

This comes after much needed communication and the love we have for each other.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on April 29, 2018, 06:06:17 pm
Awwww That's cute and loving of her. Enjoy the emotions and  Happy Birthday Lil Sis.

 ((((HUGS))))

Your big Sis.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on April 29, 2018, 08:25:22 pm
That’s a wonderful gift. Happy birthday, Jessica.



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Julie -2010 on April 29, 2018, 09:59:09 pm
Hi friends 🙋‍♀️  It’s been suggested that I start a thread to chronicle my transition on my gender fluid road that I’m on. 
It’s been 6 months since I’ve started HT, but it’s been 44 years since wondering who I am.  My desire to have a more feminine demeanor and appearance has kept me going through mental ups and downs.  Support from many friends here at Susan’s has been an unmeasurable help, just from having their views of their experiences to reflect on.
There has been mental and physical changes I’ve experienced.  Nothing that is so dramatic that it has changed who I am.  I have lived my life knowing that some of my mannerisms are not what typical males do, but I never really cared.  So the mental change is more of not caring and just feel more at ease.  The physical changes are an 1” of breast and hip dimensions each.  My boobs are starting to show, but I’m not very concerned about it.  The hips (butt) really doesn’t show much.
Recently, after doubling my dosage, I’ve experienced more ups and downs with my fluid nature.  I have never hated my male self, but I am more on the female end of the spectrum.  So I am still on the road to becoming who I am.

Thanks for listening, love you all, Jessica 💁‍♀️

Jessica,

  Thanks for posting about your path.  I just came across it.  It is so nice that you are very comfortable with who you are and are happy.  I'm getting there...slowly.

Julie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on April 29, 2018, 10:52:45 pm
Today my wife showed me she does understand me.  She has given me support from the beginning, but I was never certain she understood the gender fluid identity I have.
She gave me a birthday card today as I turn 62.  It says it all.

(https://i.imgur.com/lDYkweJ.jpg)

I see I don’t have to wish you a joyful birthday, Jess. It’s obvious you don’t need such wishes. I’m so happy for you. You have an awesome wife!



 - Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on May 13, 2018, 06:06:57 pm
My wife today gave homemade olive oil/sugar scrub to all the women in her life.

She included me!

(https://i.imgur.com/7dyVp3V.jpg)
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on May 14, 2018, 11:19:38 am
My wife today gave homemade olive oil/sugar scrub to all the women in her life.

She included me!

(https://i.imgur.com/7dyVp3V.jpg)
That's very sweet!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Kendra on May 14, 2018, 11:48:39 am
That's sweet, contains sugar.  But seriously this is awesome!  Some gestures mean a lot.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on May 14, 2018, 01:58:59 pm
It was an incredibly sweet gesture from my wife and I am so happy.

That's sweet, contains sugar.  But seriously this is awesome!  Some gestures mean a lot.

That's very sweet!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on May 15, 2018, 02:41:57 am
Oh what a lovely gesture...I love unexpected things like that  :D

Take care
Liz
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on May 15, 2018, 09:45:59 am
Oh what a lovely gesture...I love unexpected things like that  :D

Take care
Liz

I do too @ElizabethK  I did not see it coming, but gladly accepted it.  In the last month she has made an effort to be more accepting of my choices.  We are as close or closer than we ever have been.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on May 16, 2018, 08:46:18 pm
I do too @ElizabethK  I did not see it coming, but gladly accepted it.  In the last month she has made an effort to be more accepting of my choices.  We are as close or closer than we ever have been.

Wonderful outcome. ;D
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on May 20, 2018, 07:41:14 pm
Hi friends, I’m relaxing after a day of fun and merriment from racing in the longest running foot race in America...Bay to Breakers!  It had a few hiccups in the beginning when my other mermaids and I realized even though we all put down the same pace of 9 minutes per mile several weren’t in the same queue.  They weren’t letting anyone dropped back so we could start together.  Sorted it out after we all passed the start line and ran together then.  Very cold wind in the morning, but only where the cross streets were, once you got to the hills, it was blocked.  Fishscale tights don’t keep you very warm, but move the legs enough and presto.
This year they added an extra 3k to the course that you could opt to do for more bling and beer.  We mermaids became founding members of that section, as we ran down the beach next to the Great Highway.  Beautiful!  This added bit made for a clean 15k.
I’m still waiting for some of the pics that were taken, I’ll post them when I get them.

Hugs and smiles, Jessica

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on May 20, 2018, 08:25:07 pm
  Were you the littlest mermaid?  It does sound like it was a fun day for you and the other girls. It would have killed me. huff puff huff puff  Someone just put me out of my misery.

Hugs,
  Laurie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on May 20, 2018, 08:37:00 pm
  Were you the littlest mermaid?  It does sound like it was a fun day for you and the other girls. It would have killed me. huff puff huff puff  Someone just put me out of my misery.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Mistress Michelle will make sure you only feel the misery of being guarded by her Honey Badgers!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on May 21, 2018, 09:20:23 pm
Hi friends, I’m relaxing after a day of fun and merriment from racing in the longest running foot race in America...Bay to Breakers!  It had a few hiccups in the beginning when my other mermaids and I realized even though we all put down the same pace of 9 minutes per mile several weren’t in the same queue.  They weren’t letting anyone dropped back so we could start together.  Sorted it out after we all passed the start line and ran together then.  Very cold wind in the morning, but only where the cross streets were, once you got to the hills, it was blocked.  Fishscale tights don’t keep you very warm, but move the legs enough and presto.
This year they added an extra 3k to the course that you could opt to do for more bling and beer.  We mermaids became founding members of that section, as we ran down the beach next to the Great Highway.  Beautiful!  This added bit made for a clean 15k.
I’m still waiting for some of the pics that were taken, I’ll post them when I get them.

Hugs and smiles, Jessica

Oh Dear this makes me tired just reading it...congratulations to you and the other mermaids for completing the course!!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on May 24, 2018, 07:17:13 pm
So friends, after I had read this morning that your medications should be known to your dentist, I resolved to mention them to my hygienist who I had an appointment with earlier.
It was a bit awkward, with the open office the way it is, and thought maybe I’ll just talk to my dentist directly about it in private.  She was busy with another patient, so I got her personal email from the receptionist.  They all know me and bent the rules when I said it was personal, but not bad.
I explained in the email the medications and why I was taking them.  I told them what to expect with my transition.
I have to also preface to you that I have been with this office for a couple of decades and know the entire staff.
I got an email quickly back with her thanking me for trusting them and it was important to know this information.  She also asked if I had any saliva issues, which I do.  So we will be checking that out.  She asked me what I would like to be called and they all support me.

This to me is a big step in my journey.  This is the largest group of people that know me personally that I have confided in.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Kendra on May 25, 2018, 12:10:56 am
Congratulations!  You absolutely did the right thing.  Dentists are doctors and need to know about all medications we are on.  Last year when I told mine he was momentarily shocked and then quite excited.  I told him it's fine if the entire office knows, no big deal.  A few months later I updated my legal name, dropped by to let them know.  They are looking forward to my next routine visit after a few surgeries. 

Dentists are in a competitive field.  They know darn well many people fear having their teeth poked, prodded and occasionally filled, so they never want to lose good reliable patients.  You're a patient and you are a customer.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on May 25, 2018, 02:38:29 am
Congrats Sis. Glad  it went over well.

Hugs,
  Laurie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on May 25, 2018, 08:26:53 am
So friends, after I had read this morning that your medications should be known to your dentist, I resolved to mention them to my hygienist who I had an appointment with earlier.
It was a bit awkward, with the open office the way it is, and thought maybe I’ll just talk to my dentist directly about it in private.  She was busy with another patient, so I got her personal email from the receptionist.  They all know me and bent the rules when I said it was personal, but not bad.
I explained in the email the medications and why I was taking them.  I told them what to expect with my transition.
I have to also preface to you that I have been with this office for a couple of decades and know the entire staff.
I got an email quickly back with her thanking me for trusting them and it was important to know this information.  She also asked if I had any saliva issues, which I do.  So we will be checking that out.  She asked me what I would like to be called and they all support me.

This to me is a big step in my journey.  This is the largest group of people that know me personally that I have confided in.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

That's very nice to hear Jess!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on May 25, 2018, 09:18:56 am
So friends, after I had read this morning that your medications should be known to your dentist, I resolved to mention them to my hygienist who I had an appointment with earlier.
It was a bit awkward, with the open office the way it is, and thought maybe I’ll just talk to my dentist directly about it in private.  She was busy with another patient, so I got her personal email from the receptionist.  They all know me and bent the rules when I said it was personal, but not bad.
I explained in the email the medications and why I was taking them.  I told them what to expect with my transition.
I have to also preface to you that I have been with this office for a couple of decades and know the entire staff.
I got an email quickly back with her thanking me for trusting them and it was important to know this information.  She also asked if I had any saliva issues, which I do.  So we will be checking that out.  She asked me what I would like to be called and they all support me.

This to me is a big step in my journey.  This is the largest group of people that know me personally that I have confided in.

Hugs and smiles, Jess


Dear Jess:

Oh yeah, for sure, with Doctors and Dentists...it is especially important to declare all of the medications being taken...   There are just so very many drug interactions that are possible and so medications affect blod clotting and bleeding too.   
It is very affirming also when they start addressing you by your female name as well.

***ONE QUESTION for you........  how did your teeth cleaning go with your Dental Hygienist???   
I only ask because you know what a happened with me when I had my appointment with mine.  ;)   ::)

Thanks for keeping your thread updated!! 
Looking for your updates and keeping up with your journey is my daily ritual along with my morning coffee !!!!

"Hugs and smiles" also for you,
Danielle 
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on May 31, 2018, 01:53:50 pm
@Alaskan Danielle

Well....on my last visit I presented male, my hygienist only found out after my email to my dentist who was busy when I was there.  We are familiar with each other’s lives, she has a fiancé and I’m married.  So we may become closer because of this, but not as close as your hygienist and yourself.

Thank you Danielle for the question 🌸🌸🌸🌸

Hugs and smiles, Jess 💁‍♀️



Dear Jess:

Oh yeah, for sure, with Doctors and Dentists...it is especially important to declare all of the medications being taken...   There are just so very many drug interactions that are possible and so medications affect blod clotting and bleeding too.   
It is very affirming also when they start addressing you by your female name as well.

***ONE QUESTION for you........  how did your teeth cleaning go with your Dental Hygienist???   
I only ask because you know what a happened with me when I had my appointment with mine.  ;)   ::)

Thanks for keeping your thread updated!! 
Looking for your updates and keeping up with your journey is my daily ritual along with my morning coffee !!!!

"Hugs and smiles" also for you,
Danielle 
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on May 31, 2018, 02:02:54 pm
My wife and I are renovating our large backyard....lots of work.
At this moment the landscaping has started and there is a crew of Hispanic workers.  Little do they know I understand enough Spanish to get by.  I heard one say to the other that I look like a
mujer (woman).
I was not trying to present at all, entirely in guy mode, save for long hair, hairless legs, bigger butt and boobs.

Made me smile, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on May 31, 2018, 02:21:30 pm
My wife and I are renovating our large backyard....lots of work.
At this moment the landscaping has started and there is a crew of Hispanic workers.  Little do they know I understand enough Spanish to get by.  I heard one say to the other that I look like a
mujeres (woman).
I was not trying to present at all, entirely in guy mode, save for long hair, hairless legs, bigger butt and boobs.

Made me smile, Jess

Jessica .... yes indeed that should be quite affirming to you....
As more and more Spanish is spoken in the USA (and especially in California and other border states) your landscaping crew needs to be more careful when around Gringos.... especially Gringos that they are working for. ;)

I know quite a bit of French and "some" German but not well enough to hold big and long complicated conversations.
In my previous job I had frequent business trips to Montreal, Quebec and a few other predominately french speaking cities and areas in eastern Canada....   and sometimes when the business people I found myself dealing with would converse among themselves in French, I did not let on that I understood what they were saying to each other....    sometimes that was a big advantage to me and my company and possible business dealings.   They would say the darnedest things because they didn't think that the American in their presence could understand French.

Thanks for posting your update.... and yes, you should have smiled to yourself as you did.  :)
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on June 03, 2018, 12:20:02 am
Hi friends, I’ve been getting my wardrobe together for this coming 4 day weekend.  It’s the first time I’ve traveled as a woman, so I pray I’ve thought of items that I never had before.
This is what I’ve packed so far.  It fills a carry-on size case. (I now understand my wife’s frustration when we travelled through Europe with only a carry-on and a daypack apiece.)

2 cute flared style dresses, one red the other floral
1 skirt
2 Capri style pants
2 GV Amanda pants
1 shorts
6 tops
6 panties
6 socks
4 pairs of shoes
Exercise clothes
2 sweaters and a jacket

Anything I missed?

Make up and such included.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on June 03, 2018, 01:11:47 am
But you told me days ago you were all ready to go.... hmmm. I haven't done anything to get ready yet.

Hugs,
  Laurie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on June 03, 2018, 12:54:27 pm
But you told me days ago you were all ready to go.... hmmm. I haven't done anything to get ready yet.

Hugs,
  Laurie

A girl can change her mind anytime she wants to. 
And sis ....any advice is loved.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on June 08, 2018, 09:26:21 am
Hi friends, I am sitting in Laurie’s home having a wonderful time talking with her sister.  Michelle and I arrived last night after an enjoyable ride together.  We all had a nice Skype video chat with @ElizabethK, it late for us, but not for her.
Laurie, Michelle and I will be heading to @Tessa James home in Astoria as soon as the wayward waif has packed her bag. 
I’m unsure if Tessa has any special plans for us, but I’m game for anything.
This will be my longest stretch of time presenting as a woman, four days.  I’ve only experienced a few day trips with these lovely ladies.  They are great role models for me.

Hugs and smiles, Jessica
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on June 08, 2018, 09:46:13 am
Hi friends, I am sitting in Laurie’s home having a wonderful time talking with her sister.  Michelle and I arrived last night after an enjoyable ride together.  We all had a nice Skype video chat with @ElizabethK, it late for us, but not for her.
Laurie, Michelle and I will be heading to Tessa’s in Astoria as soon as the wayward waif has packed her bag. 
I’m unsure if Tessa has any special plans for us, but I’m game for anything.
This will be my longest stretch of time presenting as a woman, four days.  I’ve only experienced a few day trips with these lovely ladies.  They are great role models for me.

Hugs and smiles, Jessica

Dear Jessica...  It is very wonderful to read your good report... yes, good friends that are also good role models are wonderful to have and to have near you and available to you.

I am glad that you are enjoying your 4 day out of town trip as a female and time with your friends.   As time goes on I suspect that you will have many more even longer times being in female mode...  it is a wonderful feeling isn't it !!!   I can attest to that for sure.

Thanks for posting your happy update, always enjoyable to read about the happenings in your life.
Hugs,
Danielle

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on June 08, 2018, 10:28:14 am
Dear Jessica...  It is very wonderful to read your good report... yes, good friends that are also good role models are wonderful to have and to have near you and available to you.

I am glad that you are enjoying your 4 day out of town trip as a female and time with your friends.   As time goes on I suspect that you will have many more even longer times being in female mode...  it is a wonderful feeling isn't it !!!   I can attest to that for sure.

Thanks for posting your happy update, always enjoyable to read about the happenings in your life.
Hugs,
Danielle


Thank you Danielle for your response.
It is a wonderful feeling to be accepted as who I am.
And so that you know, you are one of my chosen role models also.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: sarah1972 on June 08, 2018, 02:55:24 pm
This sounds awesome and like a lot of fun! Glad you all get to meet and hang out together. Enjoy the Astoria Pride Parade!!!

Hugs,

Sarah

Hi friends, I am sitting in Laurie’s home having a wonderful time talking with her sister.  Michelle and I arrived last night after an enjoyable ride together.  We all had a nice Skype video chat with @ElizabethK, it late for us, but not for her.
Laurie, Michelle and I will be heading to @Tessa James home in Astoria as soon as the wayward waif has packed her bag. 
I’m unsure if Tessa has any special plans for us, but I’m game for anything.
This will be my longest stretch of time presenting as a woman, four days.  I’ve only experienced a few day trips with these lovely ladies.  They are great role models for me.

Hugs and smiles, Jessica
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on June 10, 2018, 11:21:23 am
Hi friends, I have spent the last four days surrounded by estrogen!
If you have been wondering where half of Susan’s Mods are, we converged on Tessa’s for the Astoria Pride weekend!  @Laurie @Michelle_P and I represented Susan’s Place in the parade.
During the block party @Kendra showed up, which thrilled us beyond thrilling!  The four of us had a great meal at T Paul’s Supper Club, a local lgbtq friendly establishment.
Then it was on to the dance party! 3 hours of rapid movement which had me drenched by midnight.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on June 10, 2018, 11:32:19 am
Jess it's so awesome that you're having so much fun
Title: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on June 10, 2018, 12:04:59 pm
During the block party @Kendra showed up, which thrilled us beyond thrilling!  The four of us had a great meal at T Paul’s Supper Club, a local lgbtq friendly establishment.
Then it was on to the dance party! 3 hours of rapid movement which had me drenched by midnight.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

Pics! Pics! Pics!

Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Kendra on June 10, 2018, 12:26:48 pm
(https://www.dropbox.com/s/jye8dhji8d1bxwv/2018-06-09%2019.26.52.jpg?raw=1)
Laurie (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=profile;u=52431), Michelle (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=profile;u=47977), Jessica (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=profile;u=54627), Kendra (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=profile;u=51614)
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on June 10, 2018, 02:10:55 pm
(https://www.dropbox.com/s/jye8dhji8d1bxwv/2018-06-09%2019.26.52.jpg?raw=1)
Laurie (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=profile;u=52431), Michelle (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=profile;u=47977), Jessica (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=profile;u=54627), Kendra (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=profile;u=51614)

Oh, yay! You all look so great!

And happiness ensued!!

Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on June 20, 2018, 08:22:38 am
Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ After my 4 days in Astoria living life as a woman, I needed to subject myself to wearing my grubbies to do some dirty work in my backyard.  The process of presenting as a woman then switching back is an emotional one.  This is compounded by my gender fluid nature, which at times can put myself at odds with it.  The fact that I can be comfortable as both genders itself has had me question how.  When I’m presenting as a woman I have no desire to be male, but when I’m not, I feel the need to be female.  My fluidity certainly leans far more to the feminine side and I believe that has caused introspection on my part.
So I’ve been wearing women’s clothing for quite awhile, with only a male styled shirt to offset the difference in the general view of myself.  I need to find the next step for myself and shop for some tops and blouses that may turn heads in a questioning way, but not enough for others to say “what’s up with that”.
Eventually my relationship with my wife will be at a point where this won’t matter.  I am looking forward to it, but I must not get to far ahead of myself.  As many have mentioned when it comes to spouses, the slow but steady route is the best tact to take if you want to preserve a marriage.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on June 20, 2018, 08:34:11 am
Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ After my 4 days in Astoria living life as a woman, I needed to subject myself to wearing my grubbies to do some dirty work in my backyard.  The process of presenting as a woman then switching back is an emotional one.  This is compounded by my gender fluid nature, which at times can put myself at odds with it.  The fact that I can be comfortable as both genders itself has had me question how.  When I’m presenting as a woman I have no desire to be male, but when I’m not, I feel the need to be female.  My fluidity certainly leans far more to the feminine side and I believe that has caused introspection on my part.
So I’ve been wearing women’s clothing for quite awhile, with only a male styled shirt to offset the difference in the general view of myself.  I need to find the next step for myself and shop for some tops and blouses that may turn heads in a questioning way, but not enough for others to say “what’s up with that”.
Eventually my relationship with my wife will be at a point where this won’t matter.  I am looking forward to it, but I must not get to far ahead of myself.  As many have mentioned when it comes to spouses, the slow but steady route is the best tact to take if you want to preserve a marriage.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

Dear Jess:
   Wow-whee..... your brand new Avatar Profile picture !!!!  :o ::)  You look absolutely wonderful!
Oh yeah, I hear you about getting back into male "grubbies" after enjoying your 4 days as a woman and in much nicer attire.... but,  that is part of life, as a woman too.... not always in a dress and heels with perfect hair and nails. 
Thank you for posting your thoughts about your gender identify...  as you stated, this is certainly a personal issue that you alone need to figure out for yourself, of course with very careful consideration for your spouse.
Wishing you well and hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on June 21, 2018, 02:59:36 pm

Dear Jess:
   Wow-whee..... your brand new Avatar Profile picture !!!!  :o ::)  You look absolutely wonderful!
Oh yeah, I hear you about getting back into male "grubbies" after enjoying your 4 days as a woman and in much nicer attire.... but,  that is part of life, as a woman too.... not always in a dress and heels with perfect hair and nails. 
Thank you for posting your thoughts about your gender identify...  as you stated, this is certainly a personal issue that you alone need to figure out for yourself, of course with very careful consideration for your spouse.
Wishing you well and hugs,
Danielle


@Alaskan Danielle

Danielle you always make me smile.  Thank you for your sweet and helpful words.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on June 26, 2018, 12:49:42 am
@Jessica
Dear Jessica:
OK now, your time is up, where are your updates on here on your  "Jess's mess"  thread? ???

I know that you have been busy with your outside projects, but it is past time to come into your air conditioning, take a shower to cool off and clean up.... and then satisfy your followers and readers with your always interesting thread updates... and perhaps some pictures too.

Hugs and well wishes as always,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on June 28, 2018, 06:36:54 pm
@Jessica
OK now Jessica....  I am going to write this in BIG words... I want you to get the message that your readers and followers want to see more frequent updates from you.... this is your 2nd notice from me.
 
... please tell us more about what is going on with you: Your outside hard labor work on your property, interesting lunch or dinner outings with your friends from the Forums and elsewhere, your July 4th holiday plans, fun with your grand-kids, your latest happy thoughts or you can certainly share your not-so-happy thoughts and unpleasant issues....  just anything please.   We want you to share with us so we can share with you.
 
Your fans are not happy about not getting updates on your thread...
   ...and I should know,I am the self-appointed President of your Jessica Fan Club.

All kidding aside, we worry about members that we follow when we don't get updates that keep us contented and thus not worrying about them.  Please say something now... anything !!!!

Many hugs,
Danielle


 
@Jessica
Dear Jessica:
OK now, your time is up, where are your updates on here on your  "Jess's mess"  thread? ???

I know that you have been busy with your outside projects, but it is past time to come into your air conditioning, take a shower to cool off and clean up.... and then satisfy your followers and readers with your always interesting thread updates... and perhaps some pictures too.

Hugs and well wishes as always,
Danielle

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on June 28, 2018, 09:32:55 pm
@Jessica
OK now Jessica....  I am going to write this in BIG words... I want you to get the message that your readers and followers want to see more frequent updates from you.... this is your 2nd notice from me.
 
... please tell us more about what is going on with you: Your outside hard labor work on your property, interesting lunch or dinner outings with your friends from the Forums and elsewhere, your July 4th holiday plans, fun with your grand-kids, your latest happy thoughts or you can certainly share your not-so-happy thoughts and unpleasant issues....  just anything please.   We want you to share with us so we can share with you.
 
Your fans are not happy about not getting updates on your thread...
   ...and I should know,I am the self-appointed President of your Jessica Fan Club.

All kidding aside, we worry about members that we follow when we don't get updates that keep us contented and thus not worrying about them.  Please say something now... anything !!!!

Many hugs,
Danielle


Second notice!  Oh my, I don’t know what happens after the third, but I’m not finding out!

Wow-whee @Alaskan Danielle   I have a fan club?  I’m just mild mannered Jessica, trying to figure it all out like the rest of us. 
Yes, much of my time lately has been tied up with a home project that has been in the planning for several decades. The entire redo of our backyard.  Tomorrow we have all new furniture delivered and I may have a big reveal afterwards.  In fact much is happening this weekend.
Tomorrow night I’m going out with my girlfriends in my running group to Shakespeare’s “The Winters Tale” and Oscar Wilde’s “The Importance of Being Earnest” at the local winery.

That in itself is fun doing, but Saturday morning I have something far more exciting that I’m going to do........🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
One of the girls I run with and I are quite close, she is like family.  We have been training together for an upcoming race.  I have been dropping hints here and there that may tip her off to changes in myself.  She is a nurse and I’ve told her I take Spiro, but not estradiol.  We have been getting our nails done together since last November.  I used to have furry legs, now they are not.  The only male fashioned clothes I have are shirts.  My mustache is gone, my hair is longer.  I’m always in a good mood, but even more so.  I’m much more open with her on all subjects.  Do you think she knows already?  @Laurie thinks so.
My wife is good friends with her too, they work in the same Dept, and she has told me if I need to talk to her, I should.
She will be my first pre-hrt friend that will meet Jessica.

So Danielle, after much wrangling you have an update of Jess’s Mess.  Maybe a bit early, but I didn’t want to risk a 3rd notice!

Hugs and smiles, Jess

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on June 29, 2018, 02:24:10 am
....  Do you think she knows already?  @Laurie thinks so.
My wife is good friends with her too, they work in the same Dept, and she has told me if I need to talk to her, I should.
She will be my first pre-hrt friend that will meet Jessica.

So Danielle, after much wrangling you have an update of Jess’s Mess.  Maybe a bit early, but I didn’t want to risk a 3rd notice!

Hugs and smiles, Jess




whoa!!I escaped with just a friendly reminder but you second notice girl!! are in serious trouble :icon_wave: ...Do we think she know already...hmmm...she may not know for sure but then again she may just take it for granted that you are trans and maybe its her way of saying its no biggie ;)...I am sure she will be delighted to meet Jessica...so in this case I have to agree with @Laurie..she knows!!

Take care

Liz
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on June 29, 2018, 06:01:56 am

whoa!!I escaped with just a friendly reminder but you second notice girl!! are in serious trouble :icon_wave: ...Do we think she know already...hmmm...she may not know for sure but then again she may just take it for granted that you are trans and maybe its her way of saying its no biggie ;)...I am sure she will be delighted to meet Jessica...so in this case I have to agree with @Laurie..she knows!!

Take care

Liz

@ElizabethK
Dear Liz:  Oh yeah, that will be interesting to hear the rest of the story from Jess regarding the running friend nurse lady........   hmmm, maybe it could be Jessica's version of my dental hygienist #4  perhaps?  J/K  LOL

Yes, Liz, you got off with just a friendly reminder to update your thread but I have been bugging @Jessica for a while now for an update and finally we have the update, hmmm, I wonder if she has any idea what my 3rd notice would be like???   Perhaps a personal visit to strong-arm her into complying???   

Ya know, on our threads we get quite a few readers and followers... and several lurkers...  we really don't know how many members and guests read out threads... we can't leave them hanging without some of our updates being posted.  We will never know just how many that read our threads and comments on them... will find support and encouragement.   

Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on June 29, 2018, 11:50:34 am
@ElizabethK
Dear Liz:  Oh yeah, that will be interesting to hear the rest of the story from Jess regarding the running friend nurse lady........   hmmm, maybe it could be Jessica's version of my dental hygienist #4  perhaps?  J/K  LOL

Yes, Liz, you got off with just a friendly reminder to update your thread but I have been bugging @Jessica for a while now for an update and finally we have the update, hmmm, I wonder if she has any idea what my 3rd notice would be like???  Perhaps a personal visit to strong-arm her into complying???

Ya know, on our threads we get quite a few readers and followers... and several lurkers...  we really don't know how many members and guests read out threads... we can't leave them hanging without some of our updates being posted.  We will never know just how many that read our threads and comments on them... will find support and encouragement.   

Hugs,
Danielle

@Alaskan Danielle , you really know how to slow up my updates.... how long will it take to get another chance at a third notice??
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on June 29, 2018, 03:04:10 pm

whoa!!I escaped with just a friendly reminder but you second notice girl!! are in serious trouble :icon_wave: ...Do we think she know already...hmmm...she may not know for sure but then again she may just take it for granted that you are trans and maybe its her way of saying its no biggie ;)...I am sure she will be delighted to meet Jessica...so in this case I have to agree with @Laurie..she knows!!

Take care

Liz

But @ElizabethK look what we missed out on, we could have met sweet @Alaskan Danielle face to face.
Quite the trip.  She could head south meeting @Kendra @Laurie @Tessa James and others, stop in California and give the required hug to me and meet the others in the area, such as @Michelle_P @tgirlamc and more, then head across the bigger pond to give that hug to you @Cindy and the “down under” gang!
(That’s ok to say isn’t it.......Just as much as you Aussies (again?) don’t understand our vernacular and customs we in have the same issue with y’all.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on June 30, 2018, 11:51:44 pm
Well friends, I made a big jump for me.  The gal I have been training with for an up coming footrace became the first pre-hrt friend I have told I’m transgender.  She knew I had something to say before we started our 5 mile morning run.  I started with asking her if she had a “safe” word.  In case it was tmi and wanted to stop.  I told her if she said her word, I would just revert back to running pal as if nothing was said and she could do what she liked. Hers was stop!  We where running and I had gotten to the part where I told her I was transgender, she stopped, turned towards me and gives me a huge hug and told me she absolutely supports whatever I do.  Wow!  After 5 miles, she never said stop.  She is a great friend...
She has now offered to help with my makeup, she is very good at it.  Then maybe do something as girls on the town.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on June 30, 2018, 11:57:57 pm
Congratulations, Jessica!

Having a supportive friend is a wonderful thing.  If nothing else, there is that psychic sense of relief at knowing you are not concealing anything when with that friend.

Hugs, Michelle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 01, 2018, 12:05:18 am
Congratulations, Jessica!

Having a supportive friend is a wonderful thing.  If nothing else, there is that psychic sense of relief at knowing you are not concealing anything when with that friend.

Hugs, Michelle

Thank you Michelle🌸🌸🌸
She saw all the signs but didn’t put two and two together.
It is a relief being with friends that know the real you. 
Kinda like how I feel when we, and that wandering waif @Laurie , do things together.

Hugs and smiles, Jess


Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on July 01, 2018, 04:10:08 am
Congratulations, Jess! It’s such a relief to hang out with someone you can completely relax and be yourself around.

But the important question is, does she give lessons in makeup via Skype?

Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Cindy on July 01, 2018, 04:26:06 am
Jessica that is marvellous and will be a great support for you.

I was sitting here looking at your post and thinking over the last year or so and something hit me.

Look at your avatar, look at Steph, look at Michelle. The wandering waif can be included as well. Her latest avatar is the same.

The four of you are now posting avatars of the relaxed, happy women that you are. You are enjoying life and you are ...living, and the sparkle in the eyes cannot be hidden.

Now go and look at your original avatars.

Lovely!!!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on July 01, 2018, 09:14:07 am
Jessica that is marvellous and will be a great support for you.

I was sitting here looking at your post and thinking over the last year or so and something hit me.

Look at your avatar, look at Steph, look at Michelle. The wandering waif can be included as well. Her latest avatar is the same.

The four of you are now posting avatars of the relaxed, happy women that you are. You are enjoying life and you are ...living, and the sparkle in the eyes cannot be hidden.

Now go and look at your original avatars.

Lovely!!!

Life isn’t perfect, of course, but the challenges are different now. And the thought of “going back” used to be scary and repugnant, but those terms don’t apply any more, because the thought doesn’t even occur. This is life now, and it’s so much better than the old one.

I was wondering, though, how I can see those old avatars. When I update it, it changes for every post, new and old. I suppose I could use the Internet Time Machine to look into the past, but is there a way to do it here?


Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Dena on July 01, 2018, 09:52:18 am
Except for the Gallery and attachments which staff can use, the site doesn't store images. You would have to check your archives to see if you still have an older picture.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 01, 2018, 11:04:58 am
Jessica that is marvellous and will be a great support for you.

I was sitting here looking at your post and thinking over the last year or so and something hit me.

Look at your avatar, look at Steph, look at Michelle. The wandering waif can be included as well. Her latest avatar is the same.

The four of you are now posting avatars of the relaxed, happy women that you are. You are enjoying life and you are ...living, and the sparkle in the eyes cannot be hidden.

Now go and look at your original avatars.

Lovely!!!

Thank you so much @Cindy 🌸🌸🌸 your eyes see my soul behind my sunglasses in my most recent avatar.  The sparkle is there!
I have also thought about the advances of so many members, and how much we have changed for the better.  At one point there seemed to be a movement from faceapp avatars to their real self.  That is a big step to take.  For me at least it was

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 01, 2018, 01:47:40 pm
Congratulations, Jess! It’s such a relief to hang out with someone you can completely relax and be yourself around.

But the important question is, does she give lessons in makeup via Skype?

Stephanie

@Steph2.0

Hi Stephanie 🌸🌸🌸 I asked her this during the run this morning.  She said she doesn’t know howto Skype.  Told her it was easy....then the subject died out.  Now with some time to think...there are possibilities here.
She is an avid watcher of makeup tutorials, including one for men and women. I know if I put the idea in her head of doing a tutorial for us, she could likely jump at the chance.  I will ask her when her family comes over for bbq and pool time today.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on July 01, 2018, 02:40:27 pm
@Steph2.0

Hi Stephanie I asked her this during the run this morning.  She said she doesn’t know howto Skype.  Told her it was easy....then the subject died out.  Now with some time to think...there are possibilities here.
She is an avid watcher of makeup tutorials, including one for men and women. I know if I put the idea in her head of doing a tutorial for us, she could likely jump at the chance.  I will ask her when her family comes over for bbq and pool time today.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

Well I was joking, but what a cool idea!


Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 01, 2018, 04:02:02 pm
Well I was joking, but what a cool idea!


Stephanie

If this is something my friend would be interested in, I would need to clear it with our dear sister @Cindy
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 06, 2018, 02:46:32 pm
Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ Been through a emotional wringer the last few days.
Mostly of my own doing.  I have the tendency to build strong relationships with those I care deeply about.  Sometimes it’s mutual, though in different degrees, sometimes it’s one sided. 
I know I can be overbearing in showing friendship at times and I feel awful when it’s misplaced. 
I’m not too shy and can be direct. 
Judging a situation differently than reality can happen with limited information, but the human brain always tries to fill in the blanks and I end up thinking the worst when I know that it could be a reality. 

My emotional bank is drained.

Hug me, smile for me, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on July 06, 2018, 02:52:44 pm
Jess I'm hugging you from the distance! Hope you feel better soon. As usual, I'm only a text away <3
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on July 06, 2018, 04:09:55 pm
I know what you mean, Jessica. My emotions tend to amplify my perceptions of my relationships, and I usually end up thinking the worst. Things almost always turn out better than I fear, but I never seem to learn.

So <<HUG>>

Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on July 06, 2018, 04:42:48 pm
@Jessica, sometimes our imaginations work overtime at filling in the blanks when we have too little information and too much concern.

It does sound like you are past the worst of your worries, though. That’s a good thing. Worry, especially the self/inflicted sort, doesn’t do us much good. Reaching out to friends in our support networks can be a good move when our worries threaten to overwhelm us.

I’ve been through something similar the past week, and finally figured out that I was causing my own problems. Oops. I’m doing better now. Communication and support are key to my staying out of head troubles.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on July 06, 2018, 06:11:50 pm
Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ Been through a emotional wringer the last few days.
Mostly of my own doing.  I have the tendency to build strong relationships with those I care deeply about.  Sometimes it’s mutual, though in different degrees, sometimes it’s one sided. 
I know I can be overbearing in showing friendship at times and I feel awful when it’s misplaced. 
I’m not too shy and can be direct. 
Judging a situation differently than reality can happen with limited information, but the human brain always tries to fill in the blanks and I end up thinking the worst when I know that it could be a reality. 

My emotional bank is drained.

Hug me, smile for me, Jess

@Jessica
My Dear Jess:
I am so sorry to hear of the emotional turmoil that you have been going through.  I am glad that you shared your thoughts here with your readers and followers. We are your biggest fans, we will rejoice with you when you have good things to report and we will support you when you report the not so good things.

It is good that you wrote out your thoughts...  when I have issues to deal with, I find that writing about my feelings gives me an opportunity to think and to ponder possible solutions and find ways to deal with issues in a way that will bring positive results for not only me but for those that I am close to. 

I trust that you will find a way to get back to your happy place... and to continue being the Jessica that we have all come to know as a caring and supporting friend who unselfishly gives your "all" in your relationships and dealings with others.   Being direct is not a bad thing, it is best to be clear and not to be shy when developing friendships, that is the way I am also.  As you do, I make friends fast, and do my best to make the friendships lasting and mutual.

Thank you for posting.  Please accept our support... we are honored to give back to you what you so freely give to us here on the Forums.

Hugs for you and Smiles for you as always.
Wishing you well,
Your faithful friend,
Danielle 


 
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on July 06, 2018, 09:34:18 pm
Sometimes we make mistakes... I hope you are feeling better about things and put it down to being just part of the learning curve. Life happens  ;D

Take care

Liz
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 07, 2018, 10:42:23 am
@Charlie Nicki @Steph2.0 @Michelle_P @Alaskan Danielle @ElizabethK

Thank you for the hugs, smiles and words of encouragement!
My issues stem from my personal code of conduct.
I have seen failures in life that if someone had stepped in to help, it would have been a success.
Too many, these days, crawl into a shell of “me” and never see the “you” causing a disconnect from humanity. 
Here at Susan’s the onus is even stronger for helping each other. 
Is it better to intrude or not to intrude yourself in someone’s life?
Should we feel empowered to help or passively wait it out?
Should we suffer the embarrassment of saying something and being wrong or suffer pain for not speaking up?

I’ll suffer the embarrassment every time if it meant once I may be right.

I also have to work on how much this affects myself, investing so much can be unhealthy.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on July 07, 2018, 11:25:21 am
For what it’s worth, Jess, I agree you’re on the right track. There are very few of us here who don’t need a helping hand or just an encouraging word once in a while. Even if we’re lucky enough to have supportive people around us, it can feel awfully lonely sometimes if the only people we can talk to not only don’t understand what we’re going through, but simply can’t understand.

That’s one of the things that attracted me to Susan’s: knowing there are people like you here who are willing to take a chance and reach out to those they think may be in need. You may guess wrong occasionally, but the times you get it right more than compensate for that.

So thank you. You’re doing good (and that’s grammatically correct!)


Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 07, 2018, 03:30:41 pm
For what it’s worth, Jess, I agree you’re on the right track. There are very few of us here who don’t need a helping hand or just an encouraging word once in a while. Even if we’re lucky enough to have supportive people around us, it can feel awfully lonely sometimes if the only people we can talk to not only don’t understand what we’re going through, but simply can’t understand.

That’s one of the things that attracted me to Susan’s: knowing there are people like you here who are willing to take a chance and reach out to those they think may be in need. You may guess wrong occasionally, but the times you get it right more than compensate for that.

So thank you. You’re doing good (and that’s grammatically correct!)


Stephanie

@Steph2.0

Thank you again Stephanie!
I have no doubt in my conduct, it is part of me.

You know me well!  My High School English teacher taught that if you understand each other, that was good grammar.  But he included, “If your not able to write what you mean, it loses definition.”  He became a Stanford professor after my three years with him. 
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 09, 2018, 12:02:22 am
Hi friends, today I went with @Michelle_P  and  @Laurie to the Mt. Diablo Unitarian Universalist Church where Michelle as a lay person did the service.  Her sermon was wonderful, her link to it is here Embracing the Unexpected (http://michellepaquette.blogspot.com/2018/07/embracing-unexpected-july-8-2018-sermon.html)
It gives  life lessons to help with dealing with how the universe always has other plans than the best laid plans you think you have.

Here is a pic of Laurie and I before the service.
(https://i.imgur.com/ObgAPqC.jpg)

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on July 09, 2018, 12:19:37 am
Hi friends, today I went with @Michelle_P  and  @Laurie to the Mt. Diablo Unitarian Universalist Church where Michelle as a lay person did the service.
(https://i.imgur.com/ObgAPqC.jpg)

@Jessica
Dear Jess....  I will repeat the phrase that I seemingly have become know for....
          Wow-whee !!!!!
You and @Laurie both look absolutely terrific... beautiful dressed women. 
I saw the @Michelle_P posting on her thread and her picture behind the pulpit... she is another terrific looking lady and it sounded like it was a good message that she delivered and had good reviews at coffee hour after the service.

Thank you so very much for posting this.... a lovely day for all 3 pretty ladies.
Hugs and well wishes...
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on July 09, 2018, 12:28:30 am
So who's the good looking chick with Laurie  ;)


Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 09, 2018, 01:35:31 pm
So who's the good looking chick with Laurie  ;)

@ElizabethK

Hi Liz, @Laurie met that ‘chick’ face to face during one of her road trips.  She had known her as a trouble maker and rabble rouser.  With her calm voice and demeanor, she gave her a new insight to her calling.  That ‘chick’ is now working to help other troubled ones and tries to follow in Laurie’s footsteps.

Hugs and smiles, that ‘chick’
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: davina61 on July 09, 2018, 02:45:40 pm
I must say you both look wonderful , two ladies out on the town!!!!!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 09, 2018, 04:50:35 pm
I must say you both look wonderful , two ladies out on the town!!!!!

@davina61 @Laurie

Thank you Davina, Laurie and I both agreed the night before that church deserved our Sunday best!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 09, 2018, 05:02:23 pm
@Jessica
Dear Jess....  I will repeat the phrase that I seemingly have become know for....
          Wow-whee !!!!!
You and @Laurie both look absolutely terrific... beautiful dressed women. 
I saw the @Michelle_P posting on her thread and her picture behind the pulpit... she is another terrific looking lady and it sounded like it was a good message that she delivered and had good reviews at coffee hour after the service.

Thank you so very much for posting this.... a lovely day for all 3 pretty ladies.
Hugs and well wishes...
Danielle

@Alaskan Danielle @Laurie @Michelle_P

Thank you sweetie!  I do love your tag line “wow-whee”.
I think Michelle and Laurie have an advantage over me with their beautifully coifed hairdos.  I think after mine grows out more, I will have a better chance at passing with little question. 

My running girlfriend asked who the lady was next to me when I showed her the picture above, this I believe made Laurie happy when I told her this.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 10, 2018, 04:39:49 pm
Hi friends, just had a pleasant encounter with a mother and her young (age about eight) son and younger (about 6) daughter.
I was meeting my wife and my running girlfriend for lunch downtown.  While I was sitting on a bench outside the restaurant I noticed the family walking and looking...  in our town there is a group of kids, and adults, who paint designs on rocks, post them on FB and then hide them with clues where they may be.  I heard this family talking about just that.  I looked up and smiled telling them that there were some very pretty rocks around.  They came up to me and showed me the rocks they had found.  The young girl showed me a black stone with glittery pink paint on one side.  I told her it was very pretty and I liked the glitter in the paint.  She smiled at me and asked me if I would like it.   I’ve learned that when a child offers you something, they mean it.  I happily thanked her and accepted her sweet offer. 
I felt such joy in this interaction that I had leaky eye syndrome afterwards.

When my wife and friend arrived I related this tale, then asked my girlfriend if she could post the pic of the rock I was given and the back story on FB.  I also asked her to add that I asked her daughter to help me find a hiding spot for someone else to find it in.

Was this because I’m more open, caring and thoughtful?  Is it because my increased estrogen makes me more approachable through pheromones?
I have always been outgoing, but to want to have a friendly conversation with a stranger is not the norm I had in the past.

I will point out that I was sitting and appearing in a feminine mode, but having a colorful male cut shirt.  My other clothes I wore and my smile in my eyes all have female cues.

I would like to think hrt has made me think as a woman now and instinctively act as such.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on July 10, 2018, 05:56:39 pm
Quote
  (Jessica stated)
I would like to think hrt has made me think as a woman now and instinctively act as such.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

@Jessica ...exactly correct in my opinion.  I am approaching 3 1/2 years of HRT and without any doubt I am perceived as a cis-female by my actions, thoughts, mentality and appearance.... all thanks to my HRT and determination and desire of my heart

My pre-transition core personality was always that of being the kind of person to greet and meet, make friendly gestures and to be the first to say hello, show empathy, etc... but all of that has been significantly enhanced after beginning my transition. 

Many thanks for your wonderful posting... a warm and fuzzy story for sure.
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: KathyLauren on July 10, 2018, 06:11:01 pm
What a great story, Jess!

The ability to interact in a friendly manner with strangers is very much a female thing, and I am learning to enjoy it.  It is well within my comfort zone, but not quite within my zone of habit yet.  I am working on it!

Certainly, it does not happen to the same degree in male-male or male-female interactions.  So you are thinking as a woman and are perceived as a woman.  'Cause you are one, of course!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 16, 2018, 07:44:19 pm
Hi friends 🌸🌸🌸
One year on hrt!  OMG! I did not see this happening.
I was so unsure in the beginning.
I was scared about what it all may lead to.
There was so much I didn’t know.

How have I changed? 
Do I still question the future?  Who doesn’t?
Would I have changed anything?  I think the speed I’m going works with me..

The physical changes have been slow and subtle. 
Love my breasts, I’m blessed with good genes and have gotten to “c” cups.
I’ve lost 3” in my band measurement and added 2” in my bust measurement.
Lost 5” in my waist dimension, along with a loss of 35 lbs.
My butt is clearly larger, and my muscles are lean but strong.
My skin is softer, and my dry flaky skin is healthy.
My face has smoothed out, losing deep smile lines to a mere shadow.
I’ve opted for less body hair and my legs are smooth.
My mustache of 35 years is gone, never to return.
The (small) bald spot on the top of my head has disappeared.
My hair is returning to the length I had for 25 years (to the small of my back) when I cut it 20 years ago.  I missed it more than I thought I would.  Still going to take a bit with that.
I’ve added physical cues such as nail polish on the fingers and toes, feminine styled clothes (but still androgynous shirts when not presenting as a woman), walking, talking and mannerisms are more feminine.  These are full time changes that are compatible with being gender fluid.

Psychological changes have been a pleasure and a pain.
Love the ease I find in talking to others, especially women.
Hate the roller coaster ride though.
Love being happy all the time.  Always have been, but more so.
Hate feeling sensitive about things I’ve over-inflated in my mind.
Love knowing that I’m becoming who I am.
Hate knowing I’ll never have the real life experience of growing up a girl, then a woman.

My relationship with my loved ones are strong and the ones that know are comfortable with where I’m going.
I’ve met new friends that have become my family both here on line at Susan’s Place and in person.  I value these with a high degree of love.

I see a bright future.

Hugs and smiles, Jessica 🌸🌸🌸
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on July 16, 2018, 11:19:36 pm
  Hi Lil Sis,

  A whole year huh?  It has gone by pretty fast hasn't it? Congratulations Sis, Yes, you are family by virtue of all the hard work I've had to put into you. Not just me though but Michelle has been right there for that in person personal touch to help out. You've come a long way and have learned a lot about yourself and who you are. We've had fun watching and helping you a bit. Yeah Family alright. Even those wild flights into emotions have been interesting even if I've been in your crosshairs recently. But we have gotten past them haven't we?
  As for the rollercoaster ride, you were warned to fasten your seat belt and to hang on tight weren't you? Yes it has been one heck of a ride and Hun it ain't over yet.

  Love ya Jess,
  Laurie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on July 16, 2018, 11:33:46 pm
@Jessica
Dear Jessica:  Wowzers!  ONE YEAR HRT ANNIVERSARY....
Congratulations are certianly in order for you... Happy HRT Birthday :icon_birthday: :icon_birthday:

I love how you chronicled your last year of body and mind changes.
... and I love more what you stated in your last sentence...
          "I see a bright future."

Now, on to your 2nd year and more good things to come.... 
Great things are ahead for you... and therefore for us, your friends.

Hugs and well wishes as always,🌸🌸🌸
Danielle

         

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Kendra on July 17, 2018, 07:23:57 am
Jess, there are some posts that make me stop and think - and then come back to the post and think some more.  You just did that.  Thank you. 

There is so much in this.  I don't think you intended a poem but it almost reads that way.  It is from your heart.

Kendra
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on July 17, 2018, 08:59:52 am
Jess, there are some posts that make me stop and think - and then come back to the post and think some more.  You just did that.  Thank you. 

There is so much in this.  I don't think you intended a poem but it almost reads that way.  It is from your heart.

Kendra

@Kendra     
Dear Kendra....   I agree with what you stated. 
In fact when I read Jessica's post and then read it again and then once again I was thinking that it sure looked like a beautiful and heartfelt poem that she had written, or at least it was formatted and worded similar to a poem....

So, it got me to thinking...
... and I am now formally requesting @Jessica to submit her "One Year" writing
to my "Susans Writers and Book Readers" (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,237827.0.html) thread ......
.....  please Jessica, consider this, but only if you feel comfortable doing it... thank you.

Thank you Kendra for your comments...

Hugs,
Danielle

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 17, 2018, 11:10:37 am
@Laurie @Kendra @Alaskan Danielle


Jess, there are some posts that make me stop and think - and then come back to the post and think some more.  You just did that.  Thank you. 

There is so much in this.  I don't think you intended a poem but it almost reads that way.  It is from your heart.

Kendra

Thank you Kendra 🌸🌸🌸 I have a pedantic cadence with the way I write, and yes I have noticed it can be poetic.  This was from my heart my soul.  My style is meant to invoke thought as it moves stiltedly at times from point to point.  I’m happy you enjoyed my brisk narrative.

@Kendra     
Dear Kendra....   I agree with what you stated. 
In fact when I read Jessica's post and then read it again and then once again I was thinking that it sure looked like a beautiful and heartfelt poem that she had written, or at least it was formatted and worded similar to a poem....

So, it got me to thinking...
... and I am now formally requesting @Jessica to submit her "One Year" writing
to my "Susans Writers and Book Readers" (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,237827.0.html) thread ......
.....  please Jessica, consider this, but only if you feel comfortable doing it... thank you.

Thank you Kendra for your comments...

Hugs,
Danielle



I am inclined to do as you ask Danielle.  I appreciate that you find value in its addition to this thread that opens ones self to expression of words.

  Hi Lil Sis,

  A whole year huh?  It has gone by pretty fast hasn't it? Congratulations Sis, Yes, you are family by virtue of all the hard work I've had to put into you. Not just me though but Michelle has been right there for that in person personal touch to help out. You've come a long way and have learned a lot about yourself and who you are. We've had fun watching and helping you a bit. Yeah Family alright. Even those wild flights into emotions have been interesting even if I've been in your crosshairs recently. But we have gotten past them haven't we?
  As for the rollercoaster ride, you were warned to fasten your seat belt and to hang on tight weren't you? Yes it has been one heck of a ride and Hun it ain't over yet.

  Love ya Jess,
  Laurie

Thank you sis...you read volumes between the lines correctly.


Love you all🌸🌸🌸, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: lauraelliott1951 on July 17, 2018, 03:12:19 pm
Congratulations. Apparently, you've been blessed by the boob fairy.

I'm curious about your reduction in band width and waist measurements. Surely, your weight loss has had an impact, but I'm wondering whether HRT has also had an impact at reducing your band width. Would that be an effect of muscle mass loss?

Laura
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 17, 2018, 06:34:04 pm
@lauraelliott1951


Congratulations. Apparently, you've been blessed by the boob fairy.

I'm curious about your reduction in band width and waist measurements. Surely, your weight loss has had an impact, but I'm wondering whether HRT has also had an impact at reducing your band width. Would that be an effect of muscle mass loss?

Laura
Hi Laura 🙋‍♀️ Thank you so much 🌸🌸🌸  I’m certain that my weight loss played a part....but my weight loss was an effect of hrt combined with a healthy diet and exercise.  Muscle loss definitely shaped things also.
My biggest figure change is definitely my boobs.  They started activity in the first month and keep battling it out for which is larger.  Right now Rhonda is in the lead.

Hugs and smiles, Jessica
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on July 17, 2018, 06:49:35 pm
@lauraelliott1951

Hi Laura 🙋‍♀️ Thank you so much 🌸🌸🌸  I’m certain that my weight loss played a part....but my weight loss was an effect of hrt combined with a healthy diet and exercise.  Muscle loss definitely shaped things also.
My biggest figure change is definitely my boobs.  They started activity in the first month and keep battling it out for which is larger.  Right now Rhonda is in the lead.

Hugs and smiles, Jessica

Dear Jess: the good news is that they might more or less even out during your next year of HRT....   mine were way out of sync until about the 1 1/2 year mark and now they a C cups and both about the same size and appearance.

Of course every body is different... as we all say on here YMMV.

Keep us abreast of your progress....   pun is definitely intended.

Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: lauraelliott1951 on July 17, 2018, 08:53:01 pm
Yes, I'm well aware of the YMMV rule, so I have no expectations about boob size. I, too have been dieting since coming out the second time. I'm happily 10 pounds lighter, but I'm still about 10 pounds from my goal of 152. When I saw jess' post about losing band width, my first thought was, "you mean, I'll have to buy all new clothes in a few months?" I do love shopping, and I'd love a smaller figure, but my, oh, my can being a woman be expensive.

Laura
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on July 17, 2018, 11:26:16 pm
Yes, I'm well aware of the YMMV rule, so I have no expectations about boob size. I, too have been dieting since coming out the second time. I'm happily 10 pounds lighter, but I'm still about 10 pounds from my goal of 152. When I saw jess' post about losing band width, my first thought was, "you mean, I'll have to buy all new clothes in a few months?" I do love shopping, and I'd love a smaller figure, but my, oh, my can being a woman be expensive.

Laura

@lauraelliott1951
Dear Laura:  Regarding transitioning and HRT, yes you may have to do some more clothes shopping. 
In the more than 3 1/2 years of HRT I have had to modify clothing sizes 3 times now... even my shoe size got almost a full size smaller. 
A small price to pay for reaching my transition goals.... When I became full time over 1 1/2 years ago I immediately got rid of all of my male clothes and also had to get rid of my larger women's clothes that were too big.

Congratulations on your weight loss efforts.... only 10 pounds to go.... keep on keeping on and be sure to keep us updated.

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 20, 2018, 09:35:47 pm
@Laurie

Well I have been scolded by my sister Laurie for having fun when I should be doing the Mod thing.  I feel I’m investigating different aspects of being who I am with a close cis girlfriend.  Deep conversations.  Hugs and smiles between us. We have spent the last two days together sans spouses.  Strictly platonic!
I know this will help me sharing what may help many of us.

Right now I’m on the Santa Cruz Beach watching “Los Lonely Boys” on the sand.
This shows me how I can have fun even under duress from my sister.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on July 20, 2018, 10:44:43 pm
@Laurie

Well I have been scolded by my sister Laurie for having fun when I should be doing the Mod thing. ,,,

 
... This shows me how I can have fun even under duress from my sister.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

 Fridge ----->  NOW!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on July 21, 2018, 04:00:07 am
Fridge ----->  NOW!

Jesssssica's is in trouble

Jesssssica's is in trouble

Jesssssica's is in trouble....

Nar nar nanar
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 21, 2018, 09:35:38 am
Jesssssica's is in trouble

Jesssssica's is in trouble

Jesssssica's is in trouble....

Nar nar nanar

@ElizabethK @Laurie @Michelle_P 

Yes Liz, as we all know that if we cross our “Wandering Waifs” wishes, she will put you on top of the icebox.  Make sure you have placed it in an area with good headspace! 
Extreme yoga was necessary for the 8” gap on mine.  A bit stiff this morning, but she did let me have a blanket.
She has her passport now, so we all need to worry.

I will exact my revenge by gifting her with some cute socks I found with Badgers on them.  Little will she know they are scented so Mistress Michelle’s Honey Badgers can keep a better eye on her.

Hugs and neck cramps, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 21, 2018, 11:18:27 am
I’ve mentioned a cis-girlfriend I have...
We have become quite close in the sisterly sense.
Our thoughts and actions appear to have synced together, seemingly reading each other’s minds.
We have shared with each other our deepest thoughts... things kept in strict confidence.
This woman is a workmate and friend of my wife’s also.  My friend has the option to talk with her and my wife is fine with that if she wants. 

What I have found with her is a doorway to the world of women!

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on July 21, 2018, 11:32:17 am
I’ve mentioned a cis-girlfriend I have...
We have become quite close in the sisterly sense.
Our thoughts and actions appear to have synced together, seemingly reading each other’s minds.
We have shared with each other our deepest thoughts... things kept in strict confidence.
This woman is a workmate and friend of my wife’s also.  My friend has the option to talk with her and my wife is fine with that if she wants. 

What I have found with her is a doorway to the world of women!

Hugs and smiles, Jess

@Jessica
Dear Jess:  Thank you for sharing this.  Be certain go let yourself enjoy these moments.

I agree with you.  As you know I have become involved with a lot of cis-women that are very good friends with me here where I live. 

In fact, my life is involved with many of my close cis-women friends that I go shopping with, go to club meetings with, and have even dated...
and of course everyone that reads my thread knows of my Dental Hygienist Suitor #4  ...
and my coffee shop barista sutior #5.

YES INDEED, for me this has the doorway to the world of women propped wide open.
I am enjoying every moment!!!

Thank you for posting your thoughts on this.
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 21, 2018, 01:40:22 pm
@Jessica
Dear Jess:  Thank you for sharing this.  Be certain go let yourself enjoy these moments.

I agree with you.  As you know I have become involved with a lot of cis-women that are very good friends with me here where I live. 

In fact, my life is involved with many of my close cis-women friends that I go shopping with, go to club meetings with, and have even dated...
and of course everyone that reads my thread knows of my Dental Hygienist Suitor #4  ...
and my coffee shop barista sutior #5.

YES INDEED, for me this has the doorway to the world of women propped wide open.
I am enjoying every moment!!!

Thank you for posting your thoughts on this.
Hugs,
Danielle


She has told me things she believes of me, that I had shared to no one face to face.
Very perceptive.

She has shared her marital problems with me as a girlfriend.
Treating me to a seat in the powder room of the genteel.

She has dried my tears.
As I have done the same for her.

She understands my life, and I understand hers.
We have supported each other, in many ways.
Love
Regret
Advice
Fear
Girl talk
Talk about men
Talk about spouses
Life

And friendship being the highest valued!


Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on July 21, 2018, 02:12:17 pm
She has told me things she believes of me, that I had shared to no one face to face.
Very perceptive.

She has shared her marital problems with me as a girlfriend.
Treating me to a seat in the powder room of the genteel.

She has dried my tears.
As I have done the same for her.

She understands my life, and I understand hers.
We have supported each other, in many ways.
Love
Regret
Advice
Fear
Girl talk
Talk about men
Talk about spouses
Life

And friendship being the highest valued!


Hugs and smiles, Jess

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
That is so very sweet.  You obviously wrote that with  your heart felt feelings. 
I can ditto everything you said, word for word, regarding my relationships with many of my cis-girlfriends as well.  Even the ones that I do not have romantic feelings for feel closer to me than almost all of my "old self" friends back home.   
My gym-girls group and my book club group offers the same kinds of woman oriented conversations that you discussed, just about word for word.
This is a wonderful thing as I am certain that you will agree.

Thanks again for posting this...
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on July 21, 2018, 02:30:13 pm
I’ve mentioned a cis-girlfriend I have...
We have become quite close in the sisterly sense.
Our thoughts and actions appear to have synced together, seemingly reading each other’s minds.
We have shared with each other our deepest thoughts... things kept in strict confidence.
This woman is a workmate and friend of my wife’s also.  My friend has the option to talk with her and my wife is fine with that if she wants. 

What I have found with her is a doorway to the world of women!


Hugs and smiles, Jess

  Be sure you open the door before trying to go through it. (Most people would know this , however, this is my lil' sister we are talking about)  ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 21, 2018, 03:14:51 pm


@Laurie

  Be sure you open the door before trying to go through it. (Most people would know this , however, this is my lil' sister we are talking about)  ;D ;D ;D ;D

I was very much greeted to enter that doorway, and just like my big sister knew would happen, I bopped my boob going through.  Not figuratively, just likely.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 23, 2018, 10:38:12 pm
Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ I’m back from a long weekend full of fun, adventure, challenges and joy!
I had a target goal of 1 hr to complete the Wharf to Wharf 10k in Santa Cruz CA....
Missed it by 5 minutes...I have to up the game to 10 mins per mile from the 11 I did.  Or go for my 50’s self and run at 9 minutes.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on July 23, 2018, 11:00:22 pm
Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ I’m back from a long weekend full of fun, adventure, challenges and joy!
I had a target goal of 1 hr to complete the Wharf to Wharf 10k in Santa Cruz CA....
Missed it by 5 minutes...I have to up the game to 10 mins per mile from the 11 I did.  Or go for my 50’s self and run at 9 minutes.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

@Jessica
Dear Jess .... Welcome back, your normally very frequent and prolific presence was sorely missed here on the Forums even though you did check in occasionally.   

Regarding your performance in the 10K... 11 minute miles are nothing to be ashamed of... how did your friends do in the race?   Well, even though you didn't meet your expectations I am certain that you had a good time, good conversations and a good victory meal after the event.

When I run the half and the full marathons... the night before is carb loading... Lasagna or Spaghetti, garlic bread, etc... then after the event it is ice bags for the knees.... and for eats it is usually a steak dinner with all the trimmings... or homemade Bacon Cheeseburgers and Chili Dogs... potato salad and then after dinner Chocolate Cheesecake or Apple Pie.

Tell me, what are your before and after rituals.? ???

Again, welcome back....
Oh, any pictures of you in the event??  Remember...  pictures or it didn't happen.

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 24, 2018, 12:16:40 am
@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess .... Welcome back, your normally very frequent and prolific presence was sorely missed here on the Forums even though you did check in occasionally.   

Regarding your performance in the 10K... 11 minute miles are nothing to be ashamed of... how did your friends do in the race?   Well, even though you didn't meet your expectations I am certain that you had a good time, good conversations and a good victory meal after the event.

When I run the half and the full marathons... the night before is carb loading... Lasagna or Spaghetti, garlic bread, etc... then after the event it is ice bags for the knees.... and for eats it is usually a steak dinner with all the trimmings... or homemade Bacon Cheeseburgers and Chili Dogs... potato salad and then after dinner Chocolate Cheesecake or Apple Pie.

Tell me, what are your before and after rituals.? ???

Again, welcome back....
Oh, any pictures of you in the event??  Remember...  pictures or it didn't happen.

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

The group of women I run with has been plagued with injuries. 
One has a knee injury she is determined not to let heal between races....15+ mins
Two are sisters and live a little bit farther that doesn’t allow them to practice consistently...14.5
My wife needs a hip replacement and was DNF before starting.
My close running gal pal ran a 12 minute mile all the way through, 3 min. off her old pace of 15!

My routines are not like yours.  I am not one for heavy meals before a race, the leaner the better.
Handful of nuts and dried fruit lasts me for hours.  After most races it’s usually sponsored bananas and energy bars....unless it’s a “Brazen” race .  After one of them it’s tables of sweets and It’s It’s.
I never stretch before a race, I feel it puts stress on your cooler muscles and will actually slow you.  I always stretch after and never need ice or the roller.
I did have some knee issues that have disappeared since losing weight, less impact on them.

I did break tradition and went to Zacharies in old town Santa Cruz, by sharing a Mikes Mess and a side of French Toast with my sweetie.

Pics when I get them on Imgur,
Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on July 25, 2018, 03:14:59 pm
@Jessica
Dear Jess...   
So very sorry to hear about all of your friends injuries, yes as we get older the injuries and past injuries come to haunt up.   And race and event running is very hard on the lower joints... hips, knees especially, and the ankles and feet... also tendons are the culprit too.

Basically, when it starts hurting.... STOP ... punching through like we did in high school track is not a good option.

Oh, no, your sweetie needs a hip replacement... both eventually or just one for now??   So  she did not run and pronounced  DNF  before the starting gun.   Had she been practicing with you?   Can she still do some casual walking with you??

Oh yeah,  if you want to see strange eating rituals before and after a big event just hang around the runners...  I have seen some strange food preparations and other body conditioning that they do.

As you do, I do not do any stretching at all before an event.  I guess that I stay active enough that I don't have and cramping or leg issues to speak of while running the event... perhaps that will get worse in the future???

Thanks for replying to my comment on your thread...
I check here all the time for your latest posts and updates.
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: KathyLauren on July 25, 2018, 05:38:35 pm
Sorry to hear about your wife's and friends' injuries.  I hope they all recover well.

I never stretch before a race, I feel it puts stress on your cooler muscles and will actually slow you.

Back in my running days, I never did either.  Stretching cold muscles didn't make sense.  I did warm up, though, because running on cold muscles made just as little sense.  Back in the day, I could do a 10k in 48 minutes.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 25, 2018, 09:31:36 pm
@Alaskan Danielle @KathyLauren

Thank you Danielle and Kathy for your replies.

My running gal pal and I trained before this last race with an app called 0 to 10K
We both want to regain our speed to its former glory, by now doing the app again.
But this time we are running at 1/2 zombie speed.
   Let me explain...we cross roads occasionally while running and we pretend we are being chased by zombies when we do...full tilt running. 
The last one across feeds them brains.

So to help us get to a faster pace, we will go at 1/2 zombie speed till completion, then probably up the game to 3/4 zombie speed on the next round.
I’m shooting to return to my pre-hrt 9 min per mile pace.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 27, 2018, 12:30:41 am
Hi friends 🌸🌸🌸 After last weekends 10k race in Santa Cruz CA. I was able to get some pics.  Although I didn’t wear the mermaid garb we wore during the Bay to Breakers race in SF.
I was able to enlist the help from a tech savvy member (thank you AD) to help conceal the identities of the innocent.  This pic was posted on FB where a couple comments of “looking good ladies” made my day.

 (https://i.imgur.com/WouafZw.jpg)

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on July 27, 2018, 12:40:42 am
@Jessica
Dear Jess:
That is a wonderful picture of very happy ladies and running partners...   looks like it is all smiles and happy campers.
Was this picture.. before or after the race....  I am thinking before, all of you look so fresh... it must be before??? ???
Thank you for keeping your thread up to date....
Your followers are a curious bunch and we need to know what you are up to.
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 27, 2018, 12:48:17 am
@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
That is a wonderful picture of very happy ladies and running partners...   looks like it is all smiles and happy campers.
Was this picture.. before or after the race....  I am thinking before, all of you look so fresh... it must be before??? ???
Thank you for keeping your thread up to date....
Your followers are a curious bunch and we need to know what you are up to.
Hugs,
Danielle

This was a pre race pic, the other pic I emailed you is the post race pic.
My thought is that it may need to be posted also.
Thankfully I have a friend that works for hugs to prep them.
Do pre-payments work?
(((hug)))
(((hug)))

Thank you again, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on July 27, 2018, 12:57:52 am
Hi friends 🌸🌸🌸 After last weekends 10k race in Santa Cruz CA. I was able to get some pics.  Although I didn’t wear the mermaid garb we wore during the Bay to Breakers race in SF.
I was able to enlist the help from a tech savvy member (thank you AD) to help conceal the identities of the innocent.  This pic was posted on FB where a couple comments of “looking good ladies” made my day.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

Congrats on the Race Jess...its always nice when we can be ourselves and spoken of as such  ;D

Take care

Liz

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on July 27, 2018, 11:41:32 am
@Alaskan Danielle

This was a pre race pic, the other pic I emailed you is the post race pic.
My thought is that it may need to be posted also.
Thankfully I have a friend that works for hugs to prep them.
Do pre-payments work?
(((hug)))
(((hug)))

Thank you again, Jess

@Jessica
Dear Jess,
thanks for posting your race event pictures and details.
I appreciate the hugs too!!

Your post race picture is ready for you to post if that is what you want to do...
..... it's in the mail, as they say
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on July 27, 2018, 01:36:32 pm
Hi friends 🌸🌸🌸 After last weekends 10k race in Santa Cruz CA. I was able to get some pics.  Although I didn’t wear the mermaid garb we wore during the Bay to Breakers race in SF.
I was able to enlist the help from a tech savvy member (thank you AD) to help conceal the identities of the innocent.  This pic was posted on FB where a couple comments of “looking good ladies” made my day.

 (https://i.imgur.com/WouafZw.jpg)

Hugs and smiles, Jess

Nice pic Jess!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on July 27, 2018, 01:41:41 pm
It’s nice to see the race day pic and hear about the event. I’m glad you are out there having a good time and keeping up your fitness.

Jess is SO not a mess!  So much for thread titles, eh?

Disclaimer: Jess is a friend In Real Life, and one of the nicest people I know.  There are so many good people here at Susan’s Place.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 27, 2018, 04:25:14 pm
@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess,
thanks for posting your race event pictures and details.
I appreciate the hugs too!!

Your post race picture is ready for you to post if that is what you want to do...
..... it's in the mail, as they say
Hugs,
Danielle

Thank you Danielle 🌸🌸🌸 I really appreciate it! 
My career had hard copy formatting in gathering information.  With blueprints and the RFI log, I could find anything needed to create a 30 story building.  I had been pushing for this new fangled information machine to replace the hard copy version.  Alas, I’ve retired and now they have them.

Danielle has helped me conceal the unsuspecting friends their identity.
I was keeping that on the down low so she wouldn’t be inundated with requests.
I figure I’m not the only one button challenged here.

This is the post race pic in Capitola, where the end wharf is at.
Lots of memories on this run...
My grandmother lived along the route when I was young.
Stayed the whole summer for years.
Hung out at all the beaches, fished often on both wharfs.


(https://i.imgur.com/31OC77w.jpg)
[/quote]

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on July 30, 2018, 12:10:48 am
@Jessica
Dear Jess:
WOW-WHEE ...
your new amazing avatar/profile picture ...   beautiful !!!!.
...you look absolutely terrific.
Thank you for treating all of us with your new picture.
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on July 30, 2018, 01:53:44 am

@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
WOW-WHEE ...
your new amazing avatar/profile picture ...   beautiful !!!!.
...you look absolutely terrific.
Thank you for treating all of us with your new picture.
Hugs,
Danielle


Thank you Danielle 🌸🌸🌸 my lovely friend @Laurie is the one who has taken my last few avatar pics.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 01, 2018, 10:43:23 pm
Well friends...... I broke my gal pal running partner. 
After a few days of accelerated pace of 1/2 zombie speed (half the speed you run in blind terror) she blew her knee out. 
We have both been despondent at the loss of exercise together and are going to take slow walks instead, till she gets better.  She is fine walking and she will be wearing a brace.  She is fearful of gaining back the weight she lost in the last two months. 
So we will support each other while talking the girl talk that we talk and walking the girlwalk that we walk.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on August 01, 2018, 11:07:04 pm
Well friends...... I broke my gal pal running partner. 
After a few days of accelerated pace of 1/2 zombie speed (half the speed you run in blind terror) she blew her knee out. 
We have both been despondent at the loss of exercise together and are going to take slow walks instead, till she gets better.  She is fine walking and she will be wearing a brace.  She is fearful of gaining back the weight she lost in the last two months. 
So we will support each other while talking the girl talk that we talk and walking the girlwalk that we walk.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

@Jessica
Dear Jess:   I am so very sorry to hear this about your gal friend running partner.  She needs to take it slow so it can heal properly...  For the immediate days ahead the slow walking is probably the best choice for her.... patience is needed during this time of healing.

Please keep us posted.
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 02, 2018, 06:45:17 pm
I promise I am up to no good!  Out with my girlfriends sowing chaos!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on August 02, 2018, 09:09:42 pm
Hi Jessica

Thought I would let you know that the hugs were delivered and received(Thankyou) via Cindy....nice pic by the way!!

Liz
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 02, 2018, 09:43:26 pm
@LizK

Hi Jessica

Thought I would let you know that the hugs were delivered and received(Thankyou) via Cindy....nice pic by the way!!

Liz

Thank you Liz!  I’m imagining that you received the one I asked Cindy to give you.
Thank you for the compliment, Michelle took that pic on our day out today.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on August 04, 2018, 10:32:52 am
I promise I am up to no good!  Out with my girlfriends sowing chaos!

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
...  "sowing chaos" is so much fun especially with good friends.
 
Your newest and latest pictures that you post here on your thread and also the pictures that you post on other various threads are a treat for all of us to view.  ...

Thank you for feeling comfortable sharing your life details on your thread
for all of your readers and followers to enjoy.

Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 07, 2018, 09:56:00 pm
Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ After telling myself just yesterday “ I don’t care if I don’t see anyone from my past”,  I get a visit from a friend that I had not seen for 20+ years.  She saw my new FB profile picture and had her scratching her head.  Who is that?  Is that a woman with ****’s wife.  No...that’s my friend, I need to get ahold of “him”! 
She visited with her 18 mo. grandson.  Big hugs and kisses, swam in the pool with the little one, then relaxed in the gazebo.
I told her everything....................
She is entirely supportive and said that it explains the boobs, smooth legs, feminine body shape, nails and the way I walked.
We were quite close when we were younger and I was the best “man” at her wedding.
She said she hadn’t suspected but it made sense since I never was like all the other guys in our clique. It wasn’t that I was out of place, it was that I did things differently, not macho, not demanding, more in line to how a woman did things.

I feel like ......wow!  This is happening!

Hugs and smiles, Jess

I’ve been under the impression for awhile that Jess’s Mess has outlived it’s life.  All but a very few members ever visit it any longer.  I don’t need it to record my progress for posterity.  I don’t need the platitudes.  I think it helped some for a bit, but with all the other new members and their own stories, mine is just something more to read out of too much.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on August 08, 2018, 02:03:04 pm
Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ After telling myself just yesterday “ I don’t care if I don’t see anyone from my past”,  I get a visit from a friend that I had not seen for 20+ years.  She saw my new FB profile picture and had her scratching her head.  Who is that?  Is that a woman with ****’s wife.  No...that’s my friend, I need to get ahold of “him”! 
She visited with her 18 mo. grandson.  Big hugs and kisses, swam in the pool with the little one, then relaxed in the gazebo.
I told her everything....................
She is entirely supportive and said that it explains the boobs, smooth legs, feminine body shape, nails and the way I walked.
We were quite close when we were younger and I was the best “man” at her wedding.
She said she hadn’t suspected but it made sense since I never was like all the other guys in our clique. It wasn’t that I was out of place, it was that I did things differently, not macho, not demanding, more in line to how a woman did things.

I feel like ......wow!  This is happening!

Hugs and smiles, Jess
I’ve been under the impression for awhile that Jess’s Mess has outlived it’s life.  All but a very few members ever visit it any longer.  I don’t need it to record my progress for posterity.  I don’t need the platitudes.  I think it helped some for a bit, but with all the other new members and their own stories, mine is just something more to read out of too much.
.
.
.

Dear JESS:   THE FOLLOWING IS AN IMPORTANT REPLY COMMENT, please read carefully.
@Jessica:
Dear Jess... thank you for keeping your fans updated.... that was a great recap of meeting your old friend and that  now she has seen the new-you and accepts you as you are!!!!   It doesn't get much better than that.
...

Please, oh please Jess, stop that kind of talk about your thread...  IT HAS NOT OUTLIVED IT'S LIFE....  and yes, many other members have their own stories and their own threads, including myself.
     ??? I am wondering, do you think that I should end my personal thread too ???

And yes, you do indeed need to continue your thread, not only for encouraging other members, which it does well, but also please tell me what is wrong with getting built up with platitudes and caring thoughts from other members when you post that you are having times of feeling down? 

Also, as we have discussed a few times, your personal thread is YOUR JOURNAL.... it is good personal therapy to do this.... and yes, you do need to record your progress as you move toward your transition goals and you need to share it with your readers and followers...  at our stage of transition our goals and attitudes about being trans are changing in such a way that we, with the help of our threads and postings,  can be of encouragement to others that need to see positive stories and give them a chance to see that they can be successful also.

I know that I am not the only Forums Member here that regularly reads, follows and comments on your thread and your other postings around the forums. 
Every time I log in to Susan's I look at your thread for any new postings or replies that may have shown up since I was last online.

Please, do not do what you are thinking of doing... please keep your thread alive for the reasons that I have just stated.

Your faithful follower, good friend, and one of your biggest fans.
Hugs and well wishes as always...
Danielle

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 08, 2018, 03:26:12 pm
Dear JESS:   THE FOLLOWING IS AN IMPORTANT REPLY COMMENT, please read carefully.
@Jessica:
Dear Jess... thank you for keeping your fans updated.... that was a great recap of meeting your old friend and that  now she has seen the new-you and accepts you as you are!!!!   It doesn't get much better than that.
...

Please, oh please Jess, stop that kind of talk about your thread...  IT HAS NOT OUTLIVED IT'S LIFE....  and yes, many other members have their own stories and their own threads, including myself.
     ??? I am wondering, do you think that I should end my personal thread too ???
 
And yes, you do indeed need to continue your thread, not only for encouraging other members, which it does well, but also please tell me what is wrong with getting built up with platitudes and caring thoughts from other members when you post that you are having times of feeling down? 

Also, as we have discussed a few times, your personal thread is YOUR JOURNAL.... it is good personal therapy to do this.... and yes, you do need to record your progress as you move toward your transition goals and you need to share it with your readers and followers...  at our stage of transition our goals and attitudes about being trans are changing in such a way that we, with the help of our threads and postings,  can be of encouragement to others that need to see positive stories and give them a chance to see that they can be successful also.

I know that I am not the only Forums Member here that regularly reads, follows and comments on your thread and your other postings around the forums. 
Every time I log in to Susan's I look at your thread for any new postings or replies that may have shown up since I was last online.

Please, do not do what you are thinking of doing... please keep your thread alive for the reasons that I have just stated.

Your faithful follower, good friend, and one of your biggest fans.
Hugs and well wishes as always...
Danielle


Well that’s just silly Danielle, why would I want a riot at Susan’s Place?

Thank you for your concern, but you’re one voice out of many, and the silence of older friends says a lot of how it is received
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on August 08, 2018, 03:53:48 pm
Well that’s just silly Danielle, why would I want a riot at Susan’s Place?

Thank you for your concern, but you’re one voice out of many, and the silence of older friends says a lot of how it is received

@Jessica
Dear Jess:  
Well, I will put it to you this way so it will become much clearer to you.....

If you end your personal thread "Jess's mess" ... in response I will also
end my personal thread "The Hunted Prey :  Danielle's Chronicles"

You need you to keep telling your story, we all need to keep telling our stories,  it is good therapy even if no one comments.... but do know that you have many readers, followers and there are some like myself that will share thoughts and comments on your thread.   Not everyone will post a comment but many do read your thread. 
 
.... and, as you know, and other members know this too regarding their threads, I will bug you tenaciously if you don't keep it updated with posts and photos as you feel comfortable doing.

After all, you definitely don't want me knocking on your door with my demands, do you???

Hugs and more hugs as always,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on August 08, 2018, 03:58:40 pm
 I am and have been anything but silent though it is normally off of Susan's. This time is no exception as you well know.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on August 08, 2018, 04:01:04 pm
Jessica, our various ‘transition log’ threads may not attract much in the way of comment from others, but they are definitely read by others.

I started mine as a running log of my transition and now continue it as much as a record of my ongoing life after social transition, as a transition record for ongoing medical work.  I get very few comments, from a small group of people, but I also know that many more read or have read it, and that simply seeing the path that someone has taken, and the changes in their lives and the attitudes expressed in the writing have given those still closeted, or early in the process of self-acceptance some hope.

That is why I continue it.  I want others in the community to know that there is hope, that there is the possibility of just living a boring day-to-day life in their gender identity, with peace and happiness replacing anxiety and depression.  I want others to know that there is a possibility of life without gender dysphoria.

I encourage you to continue your thread in the hopes that you will illuminate another pathway through transition to a place of peace and new-found joy.  I’ve seen the potential for this in your eyes, and I would like to see you realize this for yourself as well as share this journey of self-realization with others.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 08, 2018, 04:08:59 pm
@Jessica
Dear Jess:  
Well, I will put it to you this way so it will become much clearer to you.....

If you end your personal thread "Jess's mess" ... in response I will also
end my personal thread "The Hunted Prey :  Danielle's Chronicles"

You need you to keep telling your story, we all need to keep telling our stories,  it is good therapy even if no one comments.... but do know that you have many readers, followers and there are some like myself that will share thoughts and comments on your thread.   Not everyone will post a comment but many do read your thread. 
 
.... and, as you know, and other members know this too regarding their threads, I will bug you tenaciously if you don't keep it updated with posts and photos as you feel comfortable doing.

After all, you definitely don't want me knocking on your door with my demands, do you???

Hugs and more hugs as always,
Danielle


This is blackmail!  How would you know if I truly stopped?  Maybe I just have nothing more to say at the moment.

Btw, when you hit Washington head south on 5 bear left at 580, I’m a mile from the airport.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on August 08, 2018, 05:20:28 pm
Jess, don’t even consider going silent on us! You’re on my watch list even if I don’t say a lot. I hit this same wall that you and some of my other friends have smacked into, wondering why I was bothering. Then I saw the number of hits my thread has. I’m still blown away that while it has about 1900 posts, it is coming up on 50,000 reads. I have no idea who’s out there since I only get responses from a tiny circle of dear friends, but obviously someone is out there.

I just checked. This thread has a little over 400 posts, and it’s near 11,000 reads. If you quit you’re going to disappoint a lot of shy people.

I suggest you do as I decided: post for yourself as a journal. Doing that has been incredibly helpful for me when I’m feeling down. Looking back at the victories and celebrations have helped pull me out of some dark places in the past.

Fingers crossed that you’re going to stick around.

Your friend,


Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 08, 2018, 08:39:32 pm
@Steph2.0 @Alaskan Danielle

Jess, don’t even consider going silent on us! You’re on my watch list even if I don’t say a lot. I hit this same wall that you and some of my other friends have smacked into, wondering why I was bothering. Then I saw the number of hits my thread has. I’m still blown away that while it has about 1900 posts, it is coming up on 50,000 reads. I have no idea who’s out there since I only get responses from a tiny circle of dear friends, but obviously someone is out there.

I just checked. This thread has a little over 400 posts, and it’s near 11,000 reads. If you quit you’re going to disappoint a lot of shy people.

I suggest you do as I decided: post for yourself as a journal. Doing that has been incredibly helpful for me when I’m feeling down. Looking back at the victories and celebrations have helped pull me out of some dark places in the past.

Fingers crossed that you’re going to stick around.

Your friend,


Stephanie

Honestly Stephanie the post count is irrelevant to me. 
It’s not a competition, I was just thinking that it hadn’t been that helpful. 
What can be gained by the minutia of my life. 
It’s simple, basic, hum drum, a bit of a bore.

Then I reviewed it and I do see that it shows my close interactions with life as a woman. 
Day and extended trips with girlfriends.  Tears and smiles included.
Has it truly helped anybody?  Probably, I hope so, but that too is irrelevant.
If I don’t continue Danielle will protest by withholding Hunted Prey!
Oh the Humanity!!!

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on August 08, 2018, 09:34:29 pm
@Steph2.0 @Alaskan Danielle

Honestly Stephanie the post count is irrelevant to me. 
It’s not a competition, I was just thinking that it hadn’t been that helpful. 
What can be gained by the minutia of my life. 
It’s simple, basic, hum drum, a bit of a bore.

Then I reviewed it and I do see that it shows my close interactions with life as a woman. 
Day and extended trips with girlfriends.  Tears and smiles included.
Has it truly helped anybody?  Probably, I hope so, but that too is irrelevant.
If I don’t continue Danielle will protest by withholding Hunted Prey!
Oh the Humanity!!!

Hugs and smiles, Jess

@Jessica
Dear Jess:  I am wondering what this is all about?  Really about!!! 
I am sorry to think that you may be going through some difficult emotional turmoil of sorts....  how can we help you to get back to your happy place again? ???  I am all ears and eager to hear your story either here on a PM if that is what you would rather do.

Please know that since I have been on Susan's ...I very early on found you to be an instrumental part of the forums, an exemplary example,  and a mentor to so many on here, newbies and older regulars included.  Your thread and your continuing comments are always encouraging and helpful to so many of your regulars... and many readers that you do not know about.

And yes Jess, if you do end your thread, I will indeed protest. We have special ways of dealing with problem friends here where I live.  :o :o
I will be looking forward to your next updates and new wonderful life events that you care to post.

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 08, 2018, 10:21:39 pm
@Alaskan Danielle @Michelle_P @Laurie

@Jessica
Dear Jess:  I am wondering what this is all about?  Really about!!! 
I am sorry to think that you may be going through some difficult emotional turmoil of sorts....  how can we help you to get back to your happy place again? ???  I am all ears and eager to hear your story either here on a PM if that is what you would rather do.

Please know that since I have been on Susan's ...I very early on found you to be an instrumental part of the forums, an exemplary example,  and a mentor to so many on here, newbies and older regulars included.  Your thread and your continuing comments are always encouraging and helpful to so many of your regulars... and many readers that you do not know about.

And yes Jess, if you do end your thread, I will indeed protest. We have special ways of dealing with problem friends here where I live.  :o :o
I will be looking forward to your next updates and new wonderful life events that you care to post.

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle


My dearest Danielle, you are the empath I know you to be 🌸🌸🌸
Yes, this is about something.

With increased E, I become emotional (as Laurie or Michelle can attest to), combine that with becoming more aware, the definite physical changes, experiencing being a woman in the public eye (and feeling comfortable doing so), having close friends that are accepting and the feeling that there is more that I originally thought I needed in my transition.
The expression “the light at the end of the tunnel” does not apply as I am miles away and I have only trekked slowly and dodging the trains as they go by.  The last train I believe hit me directly as I spoke with my dear old friend from when I was young.  The acceptance she gave showed me even more that I can do this.
Now add in my wife’s truthfully proclaimed declaration that she absolutely has no plans of leaving me and that she loves me very much.
That sounds wonderful...right?
Except that she refuses to discuss this still.  She understands the basic thought but ignores the details.
Thus, my frustrations.

Did I take it out on a friend this morning?  I may have.  I have apologized and we are good still.

Did I take it out on my thread?  I may have done that also.

Did I take it out on my readers of said thread.  I pray I didn’t. 

Remember the title???  This is Jess’s Mess

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on August 08, 2018, 10:52:31 pm
@Alaskan Danielle @Michelle_P @Laurie

My dearest Danielle, you are the empath I know you to be 🌸🌸🌸
Yes, this is about something.

With increased E, I become emotional (as Laurie or Michelle can attest to), combine that with becoming more aware, the definite physical changes, experiencing being a woman in the public eye (and feeling comfortable doing so), having close friends that are accepting and the feeling that there is more that I originally thought I needed in my transition.
The expression “the light at the end of the tunnel” does not apply as I am miles away and I have only trekked slowly and dodging the trains as they go by.  The last train I believe hit me directly as I spoke with my dear old friend from when I was young.  The acceptance she gave showed me even more that I can do this.
Now add in my wife’s truthfully proclaimed declaration that she absolutely has no plans of leaving me and that she loves me very much.
That sounds wonderful...right?
Except that she refuses to discuss this still.  She understands the basic thought but ignores the details.
Thus, my frustrations.

Did I take it out on a friend this morning?  I may have.  I have apologized and we are good still.

Did I take it out on my thread?  I may have done that also.

Did I take it out on my readers of said thread.  I pray I didn’t. 

Remember the title???  This is Jess’s Mess

Hugs and smiles, humble Jess

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Thank you so very much for leveling with me... I am so upset with myself on your behalf for not seeing this coming ... there were hints that I should have seen... I am also upset that you are dealing with all of this without me or any other of your friends that I know of at your side.  Please know that I am  vicariously by your side... my online presence is with you as it always has been since we met.

That is a good news/bad news report about your wife... I am sorry that you are frustrated with this but you are still very fortunate that she wants to stay with you and that she still loves you... I know that you also understand that when a partner transitions it can be a most difficult thing for the other partner.

So anyway Jess, I stand by to help you to get back on track and get back to your happy place.... and I am available to help you to get your thread back on track as well.  Tell me what you want met to do.

Thank you again for your honesty in eventually helping yourself deal with these difficult issues....  I am always by your side ready to support you.  Please PM me if you wish.

BIG Hugs for you... and I am praying and trusting for happy times ahead.
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on August 09, 2018, 01:19:17 am
For my very good friend Jess:

(https://i.imgur.com/bLQr94n.jpg)

You are loved and appreciated here on your thread, on the Forums and on Susan's Place.

Hugs, and lots more hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on August 09, 2018, 09:44:39 am
Jess, I'm here to show my support to you. You are loved and appreciated. Thank you for being my friend and I'm here for you whenever you need me.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 09, 2018, 04:55:51 pm
So friends, I forced the issue on my uncommunicative wife.
It was a matter of stopping me from crying.  She listened, we talked, we hugged.
She has a much better understanding where I am at. 
Then we got mani/pedis 🌸🌸🌸

As a recap, I have been trying to get her to talk about her feelings for a year and she was entirely resistant.  She kept saying she was processing it...
She has from the beginning assured me that she was not going to leave me and she loved me very much. 
 Things are much better now, transgender issues have come up in common communication today and not just about me, but in general of how hard things are for transgender people.

One thing she learned was that forestalling communication is the wrong move.  It’s best to discuss as soon as possible! 

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on August 09, 2018, 05:15:18 pm
So friends, I forced the issue on my uncommunicative wife.
It was a matter of stopping me from crying.  She listened, we talked, we hugged.
She has a much better understanding where I am at. 
Then we got mani/pedis 🌸🌸🌸

As a recap, I have been trying to get her to talk about her feelings for a year and she was entirely resistant.  She kept saying she was processing it...
She has from the beginning assured me that she was not going to leave me and she loved me very much. 
 Things are much better now, transgender issues have come up in common communication today and not just about me, but in general of how hard things are for transgender people.

One thing she learned was that forestalling communication is the wrong move.  It’s best to discuss as soon as possible! 

Hugs and smiles, Jess

@Jessica:
Dear Jess: 
Well, this is certainly a good report...   and the mani/pedis together with your lover will usually do more to heal hurt feelings than flowers, cards, or dinner out.

Yes indeed, it is so very true, not talking about or discussing difficult issues with our life partners or people that are very important to us in our lives, will not make problems go away, the problems will only fester like an infected sore... and eventually blow up.

Again, Jess, I am very happy to read this latest report of yours... 

.... oh, and where is the photo of your mani/pedi salon visit? ???   
Please remember what we say here, "Pictures or it didn't happen"

Hugs and continued well wishes for your happiness.
Danielle



Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 09, 2018, 07:56:53 pm

@Alaskan Danielle

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180810/4991145b88746955c56857e77affacd8.jpg)

I again forgot to take pictures at the salon.  This pic is second best.
I get builder gel on my nails. 
Flexible, strong and they don’t need to be removed each time (reducing chemical exposure). 
You can add polish over them. Remove it and give a different color as many times you want
They just buff then add.  I go in ever 3-4 weeks. 
I love them!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: KathyLauren on August 09, 2018, 08:05:41 pm
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180810/4991145b88746955c56857e77affacd8.jpg)

I again forgot to take pictures at the salon.  This pic is second best.
I get builder gel on my nails. 
Flexible, strong and they don’t need to be removed each time (reducing chemical exposure). 
You can add polish over them. Remove it and give a different color as many times you want
They just buff then add.  I go in ever 3-4 weeks. 
I love them!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Pics!  Yay, it did happen!

They look lovely, Jess!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 09, 2018, 08:13:19 pm
@KathyLauren

Pics!  Yay, it did happen!

They look lovely, Jess!

Thank you Kathy 🌸🌸🌸
It’s incredible how just having pretty nails make you feel so good!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on August 09, 2018, 08:44:05 pm
@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Thank you for posting that great picture showing the pretty results of your manicure....
It is the little things like this that make one feel more feminine....   pretty pastel color too.
Were you toe nails done the same color? 
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on August 09, 2018, 08:48:13 pm
@Alaskan Danielle

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180810/4991145b88746955c56857e77affacd8.jpg)

I again forgot to take pictures at the salon.  This pic is second best.
I get builder gel on my nails. 
Flexible, strong and they don’t need to be removed each time (reducing chemical exposure). 
You can add polish over them. Remove it and give a different color as many times you want
They just buff then add.  I go in ever 3-4 weeks. 
I love them!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

They look great Jess...I like the idea that they are really hardy....they can obviously stand up to some punishment.

Liz
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 09, 2018, 08:55:13 pm
@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Thank you for posting that great picture showing the pretty results of your manicure....
It is the little things like this that make one feel more feminine....   pretty pastel color too.
Were you toe nails done the same color? 
Hugs,
Danielle

Yes I did, but only close.  I don’t have builder gel on them, so the best choice was a peach.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on August 09, 2018, 10:38:05 pm
So friends, I forced the issue on my uncommunicative wife.
It was a matter of stopping me from crying.  She listened, we talked, we hugged.
She has a much better understanding where I am at. 
Then we got mani/pedis

As a recap, I have been trying to get her to talk about her feelings for a year and she was entirely resistant.  She kept saying she was processing it...
She has from the beginning assured me that she was not going to leave me and she loved me very much. 
 Things are much better now, transgender issues have come up in common communication today and not just about me, but in general of how hard things are for transgender people.

One thing she learned was that forestalling communication is the wrong move.  It’s best to discuss as soon as possible! 

Hugs and smiles, Jess
I'm glad that things are going well Jess. Have fun tonight!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 09, 2018, 11:27:14 pm
@Charlie Nicki

I'm glad that things are going well Jess. Have fun tonight!

Thank you Dan!  Nice music and wine was good for my running gal pals and I to enjoy!

Hugs and smiles, Jess

ps: I’m glad you had fun with your friends tonight!!!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Stevi on August 10, 2018, 06:54:43 am
Jess,

I was unaware of the "builder gel" nail option.  Looks good on you.  I am thinking of that approach rather than having the extensions glued on.

I am one of the many that tries really hard to keep up with you and the many others I have come to know and love here.  There are more than 20 journal threads I try to follow as closely as time permits.  I am sure there are many more I could find and follow in sections of Susan's that I can't find the time to delve into.  I have my own journal to maintain as well.  I am a slow reader and a slow writer.  Over these past years I have no idea what I would have done without all the comradery with and among all of you.  In the early time I was a lurker.  It is only recently that I have become an active member of the community here.  Without my years of almost silent following of the girls and guys here I could never have reached the point I am at now.  You are a most valuable part of that for me.  I know that your concern was just a hiccup (I know that was not what it felt like at the time.) in your journey but it did not go by unnoticed by me.

I am really pleased you and your wife have found a better place to be in your relationship.

Thanks for being you and being here,
Stevi
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 10, 2018, 09:00:41 am
@Stevi

Jess,

I was unaware of the "builder gel" nail option.  Looks good on you.  I am thinking of that approach rather than having the extensions glued on.

I am one of the many that tries really hard to keep up with you and the many others I have come to know and love here.  There are more than 20 journal threads I try to follow as closely as time permits.  I am sure there are many more I could find and follow in sections of Susan's that I can't find the time to delve into.  I have my own journal to maintain as well.  I am a slow reader and a slow writer.  Over these past years I have no idea what I would have done without all the comradery with and among all of you.  In the early time I was a lurker.  It is only recently that I have become an active member of the community here.  Without my years of almost silent following of the girls and guys here I could never have reached the point I am at now.  You are a most valuable part of that for me.  I know that your concern was just a hiccup (I know that was not what it felt like at the time.) in your journey but it did not go by unnoticed by me.

I am really pleased you and your wife have found a better place to be in your relationship.

Thanks for being you and being here,
Stevi

Thank you Stevi 🌸🌸🌸
I very much appreciate you reaching out to me!  There are many member journals that are all valid and necessary for their growth.  Most have their following, some get missed in the shuffle.

Making friends on Susan’s Place is relatively easy considering our common bond.  This creates trust in each other allowing the free flow of thoughts and ideas.  I do acknowledge that the many “readers” (I prefer that over “lurkers”) learn from the experiences of like minded individuals. 

I hadn’t realized that my story made an impact on anyone until re-evaluating it and from comments like yours.  I’m so happy I’ve been a positive influence that has helped you, that is my objective.  You’ve made me smile and warm with this revelation.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on August 10, 2018, 07:18:05 pm
Jess I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to being slack on my thread. When I look at the number of reads my thread has, I know that not everyone who reads posts, in fact the vast majority don't. I am like you in that I did not realise that there were many more people following along with my journey silently.

jI feel a sense of comradeship with all who participate in my thread whether by commenting or just reading along. If I actively encourage people to read along with my thread then I have a duty to do my bit and make the content at least regular.  ;)
Take care
Liz
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 11, 2018, 12:55:23 am
Jess I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to being slack on my thread. When I look at the number of reads my thread has, I know that not everyone who reads posts, in fact the vast majority don't. I am like you in that I did not realise that there were many more people following along with my journey silently.

jI feel a sense of comradeship with all who participate in my thread whether by commenting or just reading along. If I actively encourage people to read along with my thread then I have a duty to do my bit and make the content at least regular.  ;)
Take care
Liz

I do agree Liz, I am making a concerted effort to do better at posts, comments and reply’s.  Everyone helping each other is what makes Susan’s Place special!

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Faith on August 11, 2018, 07:47:35 am
 :icon_wave:

another lurker pointing out that they actually read this mess. I think I've actually posted in here somewhere ..
As you've already been told, Don't stop now. If I have nothing to read I might have to actually work when I'm at work .. ACK!!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on August 11, 2018, 08:30:49 am
Just a quick note:  thank you for the update , and I am glad to read that communication is open between you and your spouse.

That is incredibly important.

You two enjoy your oasis, and I’ll see you soon.


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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on August 11, 2018, 10:01:48 am
I do agree Liz, I am making a concerted effort to do better at posts, comments and reply’s.  Everyone helping each other is what makes Susan’s Place special!

Hugs and smiles, Jess

@Jessica
My dear Jess:   
Not to worry.... as I frequently do for you and for other members that have threads that they don't keep updated as regularly as I think that they should I am the self-appointed forums "badger" (not one of the honeybadgers) that is more than willing to politely and firmly needle, prod, and nudge my forums friends to keep their threads up to date. 
(Many others members like   @LizK   @amberwaves   @christinej78   @Chelsea    @Jayne01    @sarah1972   @Sonja  can personally testify to my self-appointed efforts)

As you know, I am a firm believer in our personal threads being used as our own journals that we can write out, express, and explore our successes, our failures, our happy moments and our not so happy moments.
 
When we have issues and circumstances going on in our lives than cause emotional highs or depressing lows it can be so helpful to explore our feelings in our journals... and as we do it gives us an opportunity to formulate positive solutions instead of stewing about our problems and stuck in the mode of being depressed about our situation. 

When we share all of these things with our Forums friends we can receive uplifting, affirming and confidence building support, and helpful comments and suggestions from our like-minded followers and readers of our threads. 

Of course all of us have much more personal issues that we don't feel comfortable posting about on the forums...  for that I keep a pen and paper journal complete with doodling that I can work out and ponder issues in my mind before they become critical and debilitating.  Writing things out can be very therapeutic.

All of this can be encouraging and helpful to others that read what is posted by us and by others.   As has been mentioned, we all  have our regular followers but also we all have many more readers (and lurkers) that stop by our threads... we will never know how many individuals are positively affected by our writings on our own threads and all around the forums on other various threads.

So, Jess, it is good that I didn't have to give you a 3rd warning about keeping your thread up to date....
it might have gotten interesting if I did......

Thank you for keeping us all up to date with your life endeavors.
Hugs and all of my well-wishes,
Danielle






Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: RandyL on August 11, 2018, 10:44:51 am
Ok, so after lurking for awhile I came across Jess's Mess. Sounds a bit like me! Reading backwards from the end I see how Jess nearly caused a disruption in the Force through a premature end, and glad she hasn't.

I'm not sure where you are on the NB spectrum these days, Jess. I dropped in on the NB threads from a year ago and saw some of what you said there. I'm definitely questioning and working through some of those issues myself.

Anyway, enough reading on the tiny screen while sitting outdoors at the coffee shop. Gotta go make a day of it!

Love Randy

Sent from my Victor 9000 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on August 12, 2018, 04:02:25 pm
@Stevi

Thank you Stevi 🌸🌸🌸
I very much appreciate you reaching out to me!  There are many member journals that are all valid and necessary for their growth.  Most have their following, some get missed in the shuffle.

Making friends on Susan’s Place is relatively easy considering our common bond.  This creates trust in each other allowing the free flow of thoughts and ideas.  I do acknowledge that the many “readers” (I prefer that over “lurkers”) learn from the experiences of like minded individuals. 

I hadn’t realized that my story made an impact on anyone until re-evaluating it and from comments like yours.  I’m so happy I’ve been a positive influence that has helped you, that is my objective.  You’ve made me smile and warm with this revelation.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

Jess, you've been a really good influence for me as well. Even when you're feeling down, you have this positive and upbeat attitude and vibe that I absolutely love. You're like a ray of sunshine in the middle of a storm, and that's awesome! Love you girl!!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 12, 2018, 04:14:26 pm
@Charlie Nicki

Jess, you've been a really good influence for me as well. Even when you're feeling down, you have this positive and upbeat attitude and vibe that I absolutely love. You're like a ray of sunshine in the middle of a storm, and that's awesome! Love you girl!!

Thank you dear sister, you have been with me from the beginning and I’m glad I’ve been there for you 🌸🌸🌸
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 12, 2018, 09:36:25 pm
I was gendered correctly on FB in this picture....do you see Jessica?
No makeup, not presenting.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180813/d70d085f656f09423446c2b4f09bff97.jpg)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on August 12, 2018, 09:49:01 pm
I was gendered correctly on FB in this picture....do you see Jessica?

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180813/d70d085f656f09423446c2b4f09bff97.jpg)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I will use the favorite phrase that you have heard me say before when I am super impressed.
Wow-Wheee   All I see in that photo that you posted is
TWO beautiful California girls in the sun at the beach.... with the Golden Gate bridge in the background.

You look absolutely great Jess, the sunglasses, your hair and that great big smile!!!!!
Beautiful for sure.
Thanks for posting and treating all of your readers and followers to your amazing photo.

Hugs,
Danielle



Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 13, 2018, 08:50:47 am
@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I will use the favorite phrase that you have heard me say before when I am super impressed.
Wow-Wheee   All I see in that photo that you posted is
TWO beautiful California girls in the sun at the beach.... with the Golden Gate bridge in the background.

You look absolutely great Jess, the sunglasses, your hair and that great big smile!!!!!
Beautiful for sure.
Thanks for posting and treating all of your readers and followers to your amazing photo.

Hugs,
Danielle


Thank you Danielle!  I was astounded myself when I saw it after my wife took it.
I was not trying to present as a woman...I guess I am just who I am.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on August 13, 2018, 09:28:09 am
@Alaskan Danielle

Thank you Danielle!  I was astounded myself when I saw it after my wife took it.
I was not trying to present as a woman...I guess I am just who I am.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I would imagine, Jess, that as you are out and about, presenting yourself as you are in that picture, that you do not often get any male-fale or mis-gendering.
 
I am thinking that your transition is fast coming to a point that you possibly may be considering the next step.  I would think that you have already thought about your future plans of going full-time...   so what do you think about that, and just as importantly, how does your wife feel about that.

Proviso:   Obviously my above questions are getting quite personal, please, only answer if you feel so led doing so...  if you wish to change the subject I will help you do that with my next comment.

Hugs and best wishes as always,
Danielle





Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Kendra on August 13, 2018, 11:44:25 am
Jess it is so great to see you smile!  Nice photo, awesome ladies
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on August 13, 2018, 05:14:56 pm
I was gendered correctly on FB in this picture....do you see Jessica?
No makeup, not presenting.

Yup.  Definitely Jessica.

Roaring past male-fail, girl!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 13, 2018, 09:49:18 pm
@Kendra @Michelle_P @Alaskan Danielle

Thank you Kendra and Michelle 🌸🌸🌸
It does explain the different types of expressions on people’s faces.
Confusion?  Intrigue?  Bemusement?  Surprise!
Friendly smiles (only from women)? Maybe it’s because of that smile Kendra pointed out!?
The look in others eyes say a lot of what they seem to be thinking.
So yes Michelle...”I Am Woman Hear Me Roar!”

Danielle, interesting that you bring this up.  It is near the top of my list of topics I would like to discuss with my wife.  As you know of the resistance to communication she has exhibited I would like it moderated by a therapist with us together.  She appears largely at this point to be ready to have a healthy conversation about this.
There are deeper held thoughts now and that soon we could reach a juncture where my other needs are addressed.

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I would imagine, Jess, that as you are out and about, presenting yourself as you are in that picture, that you do not often get any male-fale or mis-gendering.
 
I am thinking that your transition is fast coming to a point that you possibly may be considering the next step.  I would think that you have already thought about your future plans of going full-time...   so what do you think about that, and just as importantly, how does your wife feel about that.

Proviso:   Obviously my above questions are getting quite personal, please, only answer if you feel so led doing so...  if you wish to change the subject I will help you do that with my next comment.

Hugs and best wishes as always,
Danielle





Hugs and smiles, Jess 💁‍♀️
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 16, 2018, 04:13:29 pm
So friends....OMG, OMG, OMG!  I was having a makeup day with my running gal pal, and she started relating a conversation she had with a friend in the health care surgical world that includes transgender.   Her friend in a thoughtful manner brought up how her husband was changing the way he looked (shaved head and big beard now) and that some people need to do that.... She went on to how she has had many transitioners in her office and ask my friend if she has ever had the same.  My friend told her a few, her friend who is also a friend on FB with her, tells her that she has a transgender friend.... her running partner.  My friend did not deny it, as I have told her that if you were asked it is ok to discuss.  So just by the timeline of the pictures of me on her FB page, her friend was able to know for certain.  OMG, OMG, OMG!
 
Big smiles in knowing it’s obvious, Jess

Too many OMG’s??
Well, it’s a big deal to me anyways.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 16, 2018, 10:55:04 pm
Next I need to shape my brows

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180817/43fc4a98baed6677e64348e5781250e9.jpg)


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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on August 16, 2018, 11:02:21 pm
So friends....OMG, OMG, OMG!  I was having a makeup day with my running gal pal, and she started relating a conversation she had with a friend in the health care surgical world that includes transgender.   Her friend in a thoughtful manner brought up how her husband was changing the way he looked (shaved head and big beard now) and that some people need to do that.... She went on to how she has had many transitioners in her office and ask my friend if she has ever had the same.  My friend told her a few, her friend who is also a friend on FB with her, tells her that she has a transgender friend.... her running partner.  My friend did not deny it, as I have told her that if you were asked it is ok to discuss.  So just by the timeline of the pictures of me on her FB page, her friend was able to know for certain.  OMG, OMG, OMG!
 
Big smiles in knowing it’s obvious, Jess

Too many OMG’s??
Well, it’s a big deal to me anyways.


@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Yes indeed, it is a big deal, not just to you but to all of us transitioners, this is surely worth the 6 OMGs that you posted.... but I am thinking many more might be appropriate.......
OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG,OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG !!! :) :)

Thanks for posting your good news report...  and certainly you are entitled to big smiles.
Hugs,
Danielle

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on August 16, 2018, 11:09:54 pm
Next I need to shape my brows

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180817/43fc4a98baed6677e64348e5781250e9.jpg)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

@Jessica
Dear Jess,
Well, in my opinion getting your brows shaped and thinned out is one of the important feminization step and visual clues to passing.  After you get it done, you will look in the mirror and a very big smile will appear on your face!!!!

When are you planning this wonderful and affirming event? ???
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 16, 2018, 11:14:36 pm
@Jessica
Dear Jess,
Well, in my opinion getting your brows shaped and thinned out is one of the important feminization step and visual clues to passing.  After you get it done, you will look in the mirror and a very big smile will appear on your face!!!!

When are you planning this wonderful and affirming event? ???
Hugs,
Danielle


Most likely next week with my running gal pal after we come back from camping
I had my arms (and pits!) waxed on Monday
Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on August 16, 2018, 11:42:49 pm
Most likely next week with my running gal pal after we come back from camping
I had my arms (and pits!) waxed on Monday
Hugs and smiles, Jess

@Jessica
Dear Jess: 
Have a great time camping...  but watch out for all the smoke from the wild fires!!!  Tent camping or RV???

Having pits waxed was very uncomfortable but having a bikini wax may be the test of one's pain threshold... any plans for that in your future???

Pictures are wanted of course.... for the eyebrows only.... and then for the camping!!!!

Hugs,
Danielle

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 16, 2018, 11:59:24 pm
@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess: 
Have a great time camping...  but watch out for all the smoke from the wild fires!!!  Tent camping or RV???

Having pits waxed was very uncomfortable but having a bikini wax may be the test of one's pain threshold... any plans for that in your future???

Pictures are wanted of course.... for the eyebrows only.... and then for the camping!!!!

Hugs,
Danielle


This was our last camp site

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180817/3ca1a1f65bb1276dc65f1688362d6e65.jpg)


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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 17, 2018, 12:02:22 am
This is how I play when I camp

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180817/68d3110b11e0fadc22043094d4e28c22.jpg)


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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on August 17, 2018, 12:10:46 am
@Alaskan Danielle
This was our last camp site

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180817/3ca1a1f65bb1276dc65f1688362d6e65.jpg)

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

@Jessica
Dear Jess:   Ahhh, camping on the ocean beach.... certainly less danger of smoke and wildfires ruining your camping trip.   Looks like a very nice setup... how many are in your group camping ventures usually???

Most of my camping lately is backpacking tent camping only accessible by hiking trails.

Thanks for posting that terrific photo.
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on August 17, 2018, 12:13:03 am
This is how I play when I camp

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180817/68d3110b11e0fadc22043094d4e28c22.jpg)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Looks like a lot of fun for sure....
......but a shower will be needed when you finish you fun riding.
Danielle
............
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 17, 2018, 12:21:21 am
@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:   Ahhh, camping on the ocean beach.... certainly less danger of smoke and wildfires ruining your camping trip.   Looks like a very nice setup... how many are in your group camping ventures usually???

Most of my camping lately is backpacking tent camping only accessible by hiking trails.

Thanks for posting that terrific photo.
Hugs,
Danielle

This is Pismo Beach (actually Oceano Dunes) typically I stay for a few weeks as friends and family show up to play.  Our trailer is a toy hauler and the toy you see me in fits in the back of it.
The trailer transforms into a completely contained shelter for 8 comfortably..with 2 showers!
Often with other friends with similar rigs we circle the wagons for a big party!
When you’re retired...every day is Saturday
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Kendra on August 17, 2018, 08:37:50 am
Wow this is so cool!  Great photo, although that helmet covers your eyebrows. 

Eyebrows... I had them re-shaped by my electrologist a couple years ago.  That was an immediate and permanent improvement.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 17, 2018, 09:08:06 am
@Kendra

Wow this is so cool!  Great photo, although that helmet covers your eyebrows. 

Eyebrows... I had them re-shaped by my electrologist a couple years ago.  That was an immediate and permanent improvement.

I know your a girl that is always on the go, daring and built to bounce.  Though this seems like a way to hurt yourself (kinda like climbing on furniture) a five point harness holds you in tight and right. 
I have an appointment with my doctor to get the electrolysis in motion on my face and if I feel confident they have the skill, I will want this!

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 20, 2018, 11:21:00 am
Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ I have just returned from a mentally stressful camping trip with friends.
Out of 13 of us, only two were controlled by T.  Seven of us live on E, the rest were children.
4 of the women (including myself, even though I was not presenting) had experience in camping to a degree we were not lost on anything.  Being in male mode, it was up to me as the dominant one, to direct the two on T on anything and everything.  They were morons and had no common sense in most aspects of life. 
I did not want this role, but I was the only one they would listen to, or they would have done nothing except look blankly at the many chores involved right in front of them!

I still had a good time with my girlfriends.  I was just disgusted with those two.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Faith on August 20, 2018, 11:26:37 am
isn't that one of the times that you're supposed to get an exasperated look, say "MEN!" and shake your head?

Glad the girls where there to make your trip worth it :)
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on August 20, 2018, 12:33:54 pm
Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ I have just returned from a mentally stressful camping trip with friends.
Out of 13 of us, only two were controlled by T.  Seven of us live on E, the rest were children.
4 of the women (including myself, even though I was not presenting) had experience in camping to a degree we were not lost on anything.  Being in male mode, it was up to me as the dominant one, to direct the two on T on anything and everything.  They were morons and had no common sense in most aspects of life. 
I did not want this role, but I was the only one they would listen to, or they would have done nothing except look blankly at the many chores involved right in front of them!

I still had a good time with my girlfriends.  I was just disgusted with those two.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I hear you....   man or woman, T or E, there are some folks that are just clueless.  Even though I have been full time and living here and known here as a woman, I sometimes find myself in the same position that you described... 

In some situations and group activities it can be apparent that no one is stepping up to the plate and everyone is running around like they have no brains or initiative so I then will reluctantly take the lead and get everyone back on track... 

I see this occasionally with my gal-friend groups that consist of only cis-females ... and also with mixed groups of both men and women sometimes.   
The interesting thing for me is that when there is a typical strong willed and knowledgeable man or woman in the group I try to make certain that I step back and let them be in command... just as long as they do the right thing.

Thanks for writing and getting this off of your chest.... do  know that you are not alone with that sort of interactions and with all that E bubbling in our veins and in our brains, it can be most frustrating for sure.
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on August 20, 2018, 12:37:05 pm
isn't that one of the times that you're supposed to get an exasperated look, say "MEN!" and shake your head?

Glad the girls where there to make your trip worth it :)

@Faith
What you stated is very appropriate....     MEN !!!! ??? !!!!  >:(  ::)

Oh wow, I just noticed that you have EXACTLY  1000  posts .... 
... thank you for your continued involvement in the Forums and for your wonderful comments.   
Thank you also for keeping your personal thread up to date.

One more thing, I am so happy to see that you are keeping your lovely picture posted as your Avatar...  it is truely wonderful to see it as I frequently review your various postings and your thread.
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 20, 2018, 02:01:26 pm
@Alaskan Danielle @Faith

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I hear you....   man or woman, T or E, there are some folks that are just clueless.  Even though I have been full time and living here and known here as a woman, I sometimes find myself in the same position that you described... 

In some situations and group activities it can be apparent that no one is stepping up to the plate and everyone is running around like they have no brains or initiative so I then will reluctantly take the lead and get everyone back on track... 

I see this occasionally with my gal-friend groups that consist of only cis-females ... and also with mixed groups of both men and women sometimes.   
The interesting thing for me is that when there is a typical strong willed and knowledgeable man or woman in the group I try to make certain that I step back and let them be in command... just as long as they do the right thing.

Thanks for writing and getting this off of your chest.... do  know that you are not alone with that sort of interactions and with all that E bubbling in our veins and in our brains, it can be most frustrating for sure.
Hugs,
Danielle

You’re of course correct Danielle, and certainly the reality of strong women is out there.  I guess it had become so glaringly obvious (but only to me, my wife and the woman that was married to one and mother of the other) that the “only men” were helpless and clueless, to the rest they seemed lost.
I truly do believe that we are individuals with our own style of living.  Theses styles are grouped variously, these two are mouth breathers that want to be waited on hand and foot.
Sorry for the rant, I’m just tired of being a mother!

isn't that one of the times that you're supposed to get an exasperated look, say "MEN!" and shake your head?

Glad the girls where there to make your trip worth it :)

Congratulations Faith on 1000 posts, and yes I did say “MEN!” Under my breath while shaking my head .....often!  It sure is nice having girlfriends I can relate with.  Most know me only as male, but welcome me into even intimate discussions.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Faith on August 20, 2018, 02:10:05 pm
Thanks Jess, I didn't even notice until Danielle said something about it. I'm surprised I made it past 10 let alone 1000. I guess I'm pretty mouthy for an introvert.
Title: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on August 20, 2018, 03:49:06 pm
isn't that one of the times that you're supposed to get an exasperated look, say "MEN!" and shake your head?

OMG, yes! Cassie and I do enormous eye rolls at each other and say ”GUYS!!” far too often. The correct response is always, “I know, right?!”

I didn’t understand them as I pretended to be one for fifty years, and I understand them even less now. I love not having to put that costume on any more!

Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on August 21, 2018, 02:10:55 pm
Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ I have just returned from a mentally stressful camping trip with friends.
Out of 13 of us, only two were controlled by T.  Seven of us live on E, the rest were children.
4 of the women (including myself, even though I was not presenting) had experience in camping to a degree we were not lost on anything.  Being in male mode, it was up to me as the dominant one, to direct the two on T on anything and everything.  They were morons and had no common sense in most aspects of life. 
I did not want this role, but I was the only one they would listen to, or they would have done nothing except look blankly at the many chores involved right in front of them!

I still had a good time with my girlfriends.  I was just disgusted with those two.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

Haha! Poor clueless boys. Thank God you were there.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 21, 2018, 10:51:28 pm
I made the grave mistake of looking through old life photos.  Ones that stretch back 38 years at the beginning of my wife’s and my marriage.  Not something I suggest when emotional.

Hugs, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on August 21, 2018, 11:40:26 pm
I made the grave mistake of looking through old life photos.  Ones that stretch back 38 years at the beginning of my wife’s and my marriage.  Not something I suggest when emotional.

Hugs, Jess

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Oh my, oh my.... old male-self photos and early marriage photos may not be the best thing for you to be looking at.... obviously in your present emotional state... please put the family photo book away for now.
Might I suggest that you get dressed up tomorrow and go out with your wife and/or friends and try to get your mind back to your normally happy place.  Lunch?  Walk in the park?  A picnic?  Dinner?  Ahhhh... perhaps shopping!!!!!  :)    Shopping is very therapeutic for sure.

I am sending big HUGS and more HUGS your way,
Danielle.  :icon_tetter:
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 22, 2018, 12:44:13 am
@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Oh my, oh my.... old male-self photos and early marriage photos may not be the best thing for you to be looking at.... obviously in your present emotional state... please put the family photo book away for now.
Might I suggest that you get dressed up tomorrow and go out with your wife and/or friends and try to get your mind back to your normally happy place.  Lunch?  Walk in the park?  A picnic?  Dinner?  Ahhhh... perhaps shopping!!!!!  :)    Shopping is very therapeutic for sure.

I am sending big HUGS and more HUGS your way,
Danielle.  :icon_tetter:

Thank you Danielle, my son in Minnesota asked for some baby pictures of himself. 
I couldn’t say no. 

Lots of conflicting thoughts.  My saving grace is the fact my wife is still with me and is not considering leaving at all.  38 years of a happy life unfolded in 4 boxes of picture albums.

On Friday I will be seeing about getting facial hair removal.  I wanted to go out for lunch with Michelle’s roommate afterwards, but unfortunately her days are not always Saturday like myself and needs to be at work.

Thank you again dear friend 🌸🌸🌸
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 22, 2018, 02:07:14 pm
I put away the albums, my son has all the baby pictures he needs.  They are for a baby shower game where the mother tries to guess who is which baby.  Sounds like fun!

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on August 22, 2018, 03:17:20 pm
I put away the albums, my son has all the baby pictures he needs.  They are for a baby shower game where the mother tries to guess who is which baby.  Sounds like fun!

Hugs and smiles, Jess

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
What helps me a lot with the "old" picture dellema is that when I started to transtion I started keeping my "new" pictures in new picture albums... they are kept in concert with my personal pen and paper journal.  So, if I am ever feeling depressed for whatever reason... I go to my home office shelf and grab the "new" photo album and my personal journal and go sit in my comfy chair... along with a nice fresh cup of coffee.... and sit and review pictures and related journal entrees.   Very good personal therapy....  do you have something similar for yourself???   If not, you might perhaps give it a try... "nothing ventured, nothing gained" ...  as they say.

Hugs, and as always my best wishes for you.
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 24, 2018, 04:02:49 pm
Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ I went to my therapist this morning and spoke of deeper thoughts since last session.
I told her I was ready to move forward after 13+ months of hrt. 
I’ve told her I wanted to have a referral for facial hair removal and voice therapy. 
These are my present goals, more in the future.


Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on August 24, 2018, 05:14:54 pm
Hi friends 🙋‍♀️ I went to my therapist this morning and spoke of deeper thoughts since last session.
I told her I was ready to move forward after 13+ months of hrt. 
I’ve told her I wanted to have a referral for facial hair removal and voice therapy. 
These are my present goals, more in the future.


Hugs and smiles from a California girl

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Your reported morning therapist meeting is terrific news... as you certainly already know, facial hair and voice are most some of the most important and immediately recognizable things that can be the catalyst for male-fail scenarios. 
Having those things taken care of will obviously promote your feminine presentation but you will also feel better about yourself as you go out and about as Jessica....   

...after all, Jess. you are a California girl which requires that you have all the self-confidence and self-assurance that you can possibly have...
Please keep your followers posted about your future plans and progress regarding all of this.

Hugs and best wishes as always,
Danielle
   Northern Star*Girl   
                                               (https://i.imgur.com/gnWSNUY.jpg)

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 25, 2018, 01:28:11 am

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Your reported morning therapist meeting is terrific news... as you certainly already know, facial hair and voice are most some of the most important and immediately recognizable things that can be the catalyst for male-fail scenarios. 
Having those things taken care of will obviously promote your feminine presentation but you will also feel better about yourself as you go out and about as Jessica....   

...after all, Jess. you are a California girl which requires that you have all the self-confidence and self-assurance that you can possibly have...
Please keep your followers posted about your future plans and progress regarding all of this.

Hugs and best wishes as always,
Danielle
   Northern Star*Girl   
                                               (https://i.imgur.com/gnWSNUY.jpg)

@Alaskan Danielle

Thank you for your support and comments, you have been one of my best friends here and I and others rely so much on your positive outlook.  I have had a few down moments recently and you have played a strong force in keeping my head up and confident.
You truly are a Northern Star*Girl

Facial hair and voice are a good place for me to make my next steps.
I’m feeling good about it.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: KathyLauren on August 25, 2018, 11:27:58 am
Hi, Jess.

It is good to hear that you are taking the next steps to move forward in becoming your true self.  Hair removal and voice therapy are so important to making a good first impression on people.  You will be so much happier as a result.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 27, 2018, 10:24:33 am
Hi, Jess.

It is good to hear that you are taking the next steps to move forward in becoming your true self.  Hair removal and voice therapy are so important to making a good first impression on people.  You will be so much happier as a result.

Hi, Jess.

It is good to hear that you are taking the next steps to move forward in becoming your true self.  Hair removal and voice therapy are so important to making a good first impression on people.  You will be so much happier as a result.

Thank you Kathy, I’m confidently nervous with it all.  Ow to the electrolysis and I think voice training is possible, but with underlying issues.
As far as my true “self”.  I’ve been my true self always, having to hide some aspects yes, but the outward changes have been dramatic so far, which puts me inline with my true self. 
Hoping to have continued luck.


Hugs and smiles from a California girl


@KathyLauren
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on August 27, 2018, 11:28:05 am
@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I have seen that you have a can-do attitude about challenges in your transition journey and that you have succeeded beyond your expectations in many of those areas....   now moving forward to your voice and electrolysis "treatments" is the next important step in living your life as you have been striving for.

"underlying issues" in your voice training???  ....   
I have heard with my own ears trans-women that have had very, very successful results with voice training... 
...of course there are surgery options for that as well but give the voice training your best effort first.

Stay positive and believe in yourself!!!
All of your followers here are your biggest fans...
Hugs,
Danielle


Thank you Kathy, I’m confidently nervous with it all.  Ow to the electrolysis and I think voice training is possible, but with underlying issues.
As far as my true “self”.  I’ve been my true self always, having to hide some aspects yes, but the outward changes have been dramatic so far, which puts me inline with my true self.  
Hoping to have continued luck.


Hugs and smiles from a California girl


@KathyLauren
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on August 30, 2018, 05:06:10 pm
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180830/536ba4666d3d96853fe4e4281721c6d2.jpg)

I’ve been remodeling my backyard.  When it’s work that I’m doing myself, I try always to use hand tools rather than power.  My career was working with power tools daily building large commercial buildings.  At home, it’s by hand.
Things are a bit different now since starting transitioning.  Now after the last three days negotiating a new fluid motion when sawing, I think I have it worked out.  But not without some very sore breasts in the process.  They get in the way!
Wouldn’t give them up for nothing though!

The pic is of my living wall in progress.  Pallets for planters imbedded in the fence.  One has been planted already.



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on August 30, 2018, 05:26:09 pm
@Jessica:
Dear Jess:
Wow-zers.... the job you did and your craftsmanship look really nice.... 

Oh yes, indeed, I am a biker, skier and I do some simple remodeling in my home, and I agree with you that doing those kinds of manual tasks and work does create a different feeling and a different set of problems now that I am full time with a figure to match.  My muscle mass never was much but now that I have transitioned, it is far less and is a quite noticeable issue with attempting the manual labor things that I once did.

Yes indeed, the girls do get in the way at times, but I agree fully with you,
   "Wouldn’t give them up for nothing though!"

Thank you for sharing you home remodeling project with all of us....  it really looks lovely.
Hugs,
Danielle

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180830/536ba4666d3d96853fe4e4281721c6d2.jpg)

I’ve been remodeling my backyard.  When it’s work that I’m doing myself, I try always to use hand tools rather than power.  My career was working with power tools daily building large commercial buildings.  At home, it’s by hand.
Things are a bit different now since starting transitioning.  Now after the last three days negotiating a new fluid motion when sawing, I think I have it worked out.  But not without some very sore breasts in the process.  They get in the way!
Wouldn’t give them up for nothing though!

The pic is of my living wall in progress.  Pallets for planters imbedded in the fence.  One has been planted already.



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on August 30, 2018, 07:38:41 pm
Jessica, that looks really good.  I like the build in planters, and I love the hand craftsmanship.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 04, 2018, 09:38:07 pm
Hi friends, I had my dental hygienist appointment today.
It would be uneventful if it wasn’t for the fact I revealed my new medications to my dentist and my reason was for the,.
At that time I told her that the office could know, I’d known them all for years.
I was so warmly greeted by everyone, even getting into a conversation about our nails, and where the best salons were in town.  Girl talk.
My hygienist mentioned my oral health improved markedly.  I wonder if estradiol has played a hand in it.  I related the experience of @Alaskan Danielle and her hygienist, mentioning that she was 100% passable.  Later I showed her my avatar picture and she immediately thought I was showing a picture of Danielle.  I told her... no that’s me.  She was floored, telling me I was beautiful!

Afterwards I visited Michelle and Laurie again, bringing them a nice harvest of fresh veggies from my garden. Laurie made the most delicious frittata!  She has mad skills a concocting a mixture of ingredients into gourmet meals.  And to be honest with you she is a master chef and in effect invented the frittata, since she had no idea what she was making before it was done.

I’m flying to Minneapolis in the morning with my wife, she has given me a gift I had on my bucket list....First Class seats!  I jumped in her arms when she told me!
We are visiting our son and his wife who haven’t seen me since Christmas.  There have been some dramatic changes that I will be surprised if he doesn’t notice.  If he asks “what’s up with that” I’ll tell him.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl


@Laurie @Michelle_P
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on September 04, 2018, 10:08:15 pm
The backyard looks so good girlfriend! Good job.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 04, 2018, 10:32:17 pm
@Charlie Nicki
@Alaskan Danielle

Thank you girlfriend!
Here’s a few other shots

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180905/453fc72b5e3afecbb6867044d5a8d927.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180905/667a77f95e662207d954f8b3d6927858.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180905/c8864e4597c4f9cf7266bb134d52c8bf.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180905/1e081af46e948d051ae0259ae74f3628.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180905/3c4d19e17e731f39b78dc74c34801bfc.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180905/2ee2df4dd1f10fc93897426b59f8843a.jpg)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: GingerVicki on September 04, 2018, 10:37:04 pm
Wow your backyard is amazing. Looks big enough that you may need a house boy/girl to keep things neat and tidy.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on September 04, 2018, 10:54:20 pm
@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Amazing!!!  Very beautiful, an oasis for your to sit back and recharge yourself....  lovely indeed.
You do good work....  NICE !!!

Thank for treating all of us to all of the terrific photos of your home project.
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on September 05, 2018, 04:28:07 am
@Charlie Nicki
@Alaskan Danielle

Thank you girlfriend!
Here’s a few other shots

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180905/453fc72b5e3afecbb6867044d5a8d927.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180905/667a77f95e662207d954f8b3d6927858.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180905/c8864e4597c4f9cf7266bb134d52c8bf.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180905/1e081af46e948d051ae0259ae74f3628.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180905/3c4d19e17e731f39b78dc74c34801bfc.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180905/2ee2df4dd1f10fc93897426b59f8843a.jpg)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
So nice!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on September 05, 2018, 05:45:40 am
I’m sorry, Jessica, the pictures are insufficient.

How can we know if the fire pit is a proper temperature? If the waterfall makes appropriate gurgling sounds? If the greenery emits sufficiently sweet aromas? If the pool water is soft enough? If the shadows fall in the correct places? If the gentle breezes caress our skin in a mildly erotic manner?

No, I’m afraid an on-site detailed inspection is warranted. To include adult beverages.

Inspector Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on September 05, 2018, 08:06:36 am
I’m sorry, Jessica, the pictures are insufficient.

How can we know if the fire pit is a proper temperature? If the waterfall makes appropriate gurgling sounds? If the greenery emits sufficiently sweet aromas? If the pool water is soft enough? If the shadows fall in the correct places? If the gentle breezes caress our skin in a mildly erotic manner?

No, I’m afraid an on-site detailed inspection is warranted. To include adult beverages.

Inspector Stephanie

@stephanie  @Jessica
Dear Jess, I agree with Stephanie.....  You did not provide enough detailed pictures and certainly the captions on the photos are not showing... and we need not only adult beverages, but also perhaps Ribs on your BBQ and a buffet afternoon lunch/dinner.
 
A dance floor near the pool and a band for entertainment would also be a good thing to consider for all of us to enjoy while we "inspect" your Oasis.  What about overnight accommodations for those of us that are taking long across country trips to visit you? 
Stephanie and I and your other long distance friends will be looking for our round trip first class "air" tickets included in your formal invitation that we will soon be expecting to arrive in our mail boxes.

Again, all fun and kidding aside, it definitely appears that you have worked hard and I think that you probably broke a nail or two building your beautiful Oasis.  Thank you for sharing with all of us.

Hugs and hugs... and I am always wishing your well.
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 05, 2018, 08:53:37 am
@stephanie  @Jessica
Dear Jess, I agree with Stephanie.....  You did not provide enough detailed pictures and certainly the captions on the photos are not showing... and we need not only adult beverages, but also perhaps Ribs on your BBQ and a buffet afternoon lunch/dinner.
 
A dance floor near the pool and a band for entertainment would also be a good thing to consider for all of us to enjoy while we "inspect" your Oasis.  What about overnight accommodations for those of us that are taking long across country trips to visit you? 
Stephanie and I and your other long distance friends will be looking for our round trip first class "air" tickets included in your formal invitation that we will soon be expecting to arrive in our mail boxes.

Again, all fun and kidding aside, it definitely appears that you have worked hard and I think that you probably broke a nail or two building your beautiful Oasis.  Thank you for sharing with all of us.

Hugs and hugs... and I am always wishing your well.
Danielle


All is prepared for yours and others arrival. 

The adult beverages are chilled.
Hunky bartender included.

The ribs are marinated.
I tend to go overboard on the sides.

The area for the live band and dancing has been part of the conceptual design from the beginning And was implemented.

The fire pit is adjustable from cheery flames to bonfire.

Placement of furniture takes in account for shadows.

The waterfall and stream make a tranquil sound and sight.

The flowers are abundant and bee, hummingbird, butterfly attractants, and smell heavenly.

Inside beds for six. Travel trailer sleeps eight.

Private airport one mile from my doorstep allows easy fly in.

The pool is warm and soft.

It’s always sunny in CA.

Gentle breezes will lull you to sleep on the recliners.

It’s alway Saturday for me.

What’s the hold up with you all??

Hugs and smiles from a California girl


@Steph2.0 @Alaskan Danielle @Charlie Nicki @gingerViktorKay
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on September 05, 2018, 09:40:04 am
Uh oh, Danielle. She’s called our bluff.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on September 05, 2018, 11:30:23 am
Uh oh, Danielle. She’s called our bluff.

@Steph2.0  @Jessica
Dear Stephanie...
Hmmm, were we bluffing???

Pack up your suitcase, gas up your plane, let me know when you will arrive in Alaska so I can board your plane, then we can fly down together to visit  Jess's Oasis.
I will bring my credit cards so we can get more gas for your airplane...

If we did that I think that our dear Jess would have a heart attack or something.

Thanks for sharing your wonderful and exciting thoughts.
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on September 05, 2018, 12:10:55 pm
What!  @Steph2.0 and @Alaskan Danielle are flying to California?  Party at Jessica’s over the weekend???

I’ll be right down!

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on September 05, 2018, 12:26:24 pm
What!  @Steph2.0 and @Alaskan Danielle are flying to California?  Party at Jessica’s over the weekend???

I’ll be right down!

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

To get there in my plane by the weekend, I’ll have to leave last Saturday.


Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 05, 2018, 01:40:00 pm
Is it time to install the Stephanie “tracker”?
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on September 05, 2018, 02:24:26 pm
Is it time to install the Stephanie “tracker”?

Not yet. Some day for sure...


Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 06, 2018, 07:26:27 am
Hi friends, even though a little bird was chirping that Jessica was having a party (which I am at some point when I can get a group willing to make the trip to Livermore) I am in Minneapolis as I mentioned a few posts back.
I’ll be here for 5 days with my wife as we visit our son and his wife.
Yesterday, after we arrived, I kept hoping that the obvious signs of my transition (boobs being the main show) would be realized by my son.
Not yet, but there is time.  Certainly he will notice my long pink nails, more feminine mannerisms and larger hips and butt eventually.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on September 06, 2018, 09:28:37 am
Hi friends, even though a little bird was chirping that Jessica was having a party (which I am at some point when I can get a group willing to make the trip to Livermore) I am in Minneapolis as I mentioned a few posts back.
I’ll be here for 5 days with my wife as we visit our son and his wife.
Yesterday, after we arrived, I kept hoping that the obvious signs of my transition (boobs being the main show) would be realized by my son.
Not yet, but there is time.  Certainly he will notice my long pink nails, more feminine mannerisms and larger hips and butt eventually.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl


@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I trust that your visit goes well and that you get the reactions about your transition and current appearance from your son that you are hoping for.   
If he doesn't notice your boobs, there is no way that he can miss the long pink fingernails....   
 
While there are you dressing entirely in male-mode or are you mixing in some more feminine styles and shoes perhaps?

I am eager to hear your report and I am wishing your well.   Have a good time in the Twin-Cities and travel safe.
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on September 06, 2018, 10:01:37 am
Hi friends, even though a little bird was chirping that Jessica was having a party (which I am at some point when I can get a group willing to make the trip to Livermore) I am in Minneapolis as I mentioned a few posts back.
I’ll be here for 5 days with my wife as we visit our son and his wife.
@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Meanwhile, while you are out of town,  Stephanie  @Steph2.0  and I will be arriving at your Oasis this morning to get it ready for the big party we are hosting tonight ... we have invited about a dozen other Forums friends to join us.   Did you leave the pool filter on?   How about food and drinks in your fridge?   Is the propane hooked up for the BBQ?   

We will post pictures tonight after we clean your place up.
Hugs and good thoughts,
Danielle

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 06, 2018, 10:04:37 am
@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I trust that your visit goes well and that you get the reactions about your transitions and current appearance from your son that you are hoping for.   
If he doesn't notice your boobs, there is no way that he can miss the long pink fingernails....   
 
While there are you dressing entirely in male-mode or are you mixing in some more feminine styles and shoes perhaps?

I am eager to hear your report and I am wishing your well.   Have a good time in the Twin-Cities and travel safe.
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle


The only male clothing I wear now for the last 8 months has been shirts and shoes.
Both put out cues that conceal my feminine side.  My feminine cues are surely becoming more obvious, and if questioned, I will have no problem discussing it.

My son and his wife live in a very nice neighborhood near Minnehaha Falls.
Going to the new Bell Museum today. It’s a large museum with diverse animal dioramas & a planetarium, it also offers educational programs.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 06, 2018, 10:06:10 am
@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Meanwhile, while you are out of town,  Stephanie  @Steph2.0  and I will be arriving at your Oasis this morning to get it ready for the big party we are hosting tonight ... we have invited about a dozen other Forums friends to join us.   Did you leave the pool filter on?   How about food and drinks in your fridge?   Is the propane hooked up for the BBQ?   

We will post pictures tonight after we clean your place up.
Hugs and good thoughts,
Danielle


As I have alluded to, all is ready, save for the hunky bartender.  You will need to make do.
Have fun!
Title: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on September 06, 2018, 10:15:02 am
@Alaskan Danielle

As I have alluded to, all is ready, save for the hunky bartender.  You will need to make do.
Have fun!

Woo! The water in the pool is perfect! Sorry about the wine glasses and the picture window. Visqueen, duct tape, and plastic tumblers will fix all that up.

If we can find a hunky bartender I’m sure he can set the fridge back upright. It’s easier to get on top of this way.

You seem to have some basic skills. I’m sure you can fix it all right up.

Jimmy Buffet Gypsies in the Palace (https://www.youtube.com/embed/vVRN2DcQHFo)

A... uhhhh... friend...
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: RandyL on September 06, 2018, 10:19:40 am
...It’s a large museum with diverse animal dioramas...
Maybe you can increase diversity by standing in front of one of those dioramas. Use those fingernails to point out diverse features...

Or is it denial on their part? Or extreme politeness and not wanting to mention your changes?

Well in any event, have fun and good luck with your reveal, which must surely happen!
Randy
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on September 06, 2018, 03:23:19 pm
All is prepared for yours and others arrival. 

The adult beverages are chilled.
Hunky bartender included.

The ribs are marinated.
I tend to go overboard on the sides.

The area for the live band and dancing has been part of the conceptual design from the beginning And was implemented.

The fire pit is adjustable from cheery flames to bonfire.

Placement of furniture takes in account for shadows.

The waterfall and stream make a tranquil sound and sight.

The flowers are abundant and bee, hummingbird, butterfly attractants, and smell heavenly.

Inside beds for six. Travel trailer sleeps eight.

Private airport one mile from my doorstep allows easy fly in.

The pool is warm and soft.

It’s always sunny in CA.

Gentle breezes will lull you to sleep on the recliners.

It’s alway Saturday for me.

What’s the hold up with you all??

Hugs and smiles from a California girl


@Steph2.0 @Alaskan Danielle @Charlie Nicki @gingerViktorKay

Yayyy I'll be there!!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 06, 2018, 03:57:56 pm
I must say to all those having fun in my oasis.
Make sure not to pee in the pool!
Sound curfew for the live music is 10:30 pm.
If live music hasn’t been provided yet, the neighbors behind us have access to a Mariachi Band.
Extra propane is in the side yard next to the travel trailers.
The creek is for wading, not diving, use the pool.
Don’t forget to ask all of the homes adjoining my property (7) to join in.
Recycle bin is at the niche on the side of the garage.
And lastly, visit the greenhouse responsibly, the flowers are fragile. Bouquets for all though.

Again have fun, keep it going till Monday and I’ll see you then!

Hugs and smiles from a California girl


@Alaskan Danielle @Laurie @Charlie Nicki @Steph2.0 @Michelle_P @gingerViktorKay
@RandyL @Kendra
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 06, 2018, 04:01:55 pm
@RandyL

Maybe you can increase diversity by standing in front of one of those dioramas. Use those fingernails to point out diverse features...

Or is it denial on their part? Or extreme politeness and not wanting to mention your changes?

Well in any event, have fun and good luck with your reveal, which must surely happen!
Randy

I believe both of my sons are just being polite.  I don’t try to hide anything.  I may just have to take matters into my own hands.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on September 06, 2018, 04:39:39 pm
@RandyL

I believe both of my sons are just being polite.  I don’t try to hide anything.  I may just have to take matters into my own hands.

  Oh no you don't!! Stop playing with yourself and let you loverly wife play with them.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 06, 2018, 04:43:11 pm
@Laurie

  Oh no you don't!! Stop playing with yourself and let you loverly wife play with them.

It took a few seconds to figure out what you meant! 
Girl, you’re a hoot!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on September 06, 2018, 05:17:40 pm
@Laurie

It took a few seconds to figure out what you meant! 
Girl, you’re a hoot!

Well, considering the subject matter, she’s definitely a hooter.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Kendra on September 06, 2018, 07:03:12 pm
> Sound curfew for the live music is 10:30 pm

If you can move your venue closer to Roslyn, Washington State the band I am in doesn't worry about noise regulations.  The drummer is the mayor. 
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 06, 2018, 07:21:05 pm
@Kendra

If you can move your venue closer to Roslyn, Washington State the band I am in doesn't worry about noise regulations.  The drummer is the mayor.

Putting the ribs on ice.
Adult drinks in proper containers.

Can’t move my oasis, but Washington is my birth state.  I love it there.  Raised in Lake City.
Give me the time and place!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 09, 2018, 01:54:55 pm
Hi friends, as you may know, I had revealed the real me to a close gal pal that I run with.  I had told her that I did not want her to feel compelled to hiding it as a secret, and that it was okay to acknowledge my situation if it came up in conversation.  The group I run with are all women and one woman asked her if she had noticed that I was feminine looking.  She explained why.
The dominoes are falling, one by one.  Am I concerned, not in the least, I’m thrilled.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on September 09, 2018, 03:50:40 pm
Wow!  I’m glad that you are happy this particular cat is out of the bag.

You’ve been coming up on ‘male fail’ for a while now, girl!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 09, 2018, 04:36:06 pm
@Michelle_P


Wow!  I’m glad that you are happy this particular cat is out of the bag.

You’ve been coming up on ‘male fail’ for a while now, girl!


Michelle, you and Laurie have been close companions to me, so if anyone would see the changes I’ve experienced, it would be you two.
I’m totally surprised my son in Minneapolis has not said a thing, nor his wife’s parents that met me just as I was starting a year ago. 
I think there is an underlying politeness involved.
Independent assessment of “male fail” is my true test.
I’m still waiting for that to occur.
When that happens. I’ll probably pee my pants!

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: RandyL on September 10, 2018, 11:55:25 am
@Michelle_P
...
I’m totally surprised my son in Minneapolis has not said a thing, nor his wife’s parents that met me just as I was starting a year ago. 
I think there is an underlying politeness involved...
Yeah, "Minne-soooootans" -- polite to a fault, and would not want to mistakenly tread on a sensitive toe. I grew up with all my relatives from the upper Midwest and went to college there. They will not say a word until you bring it up or it becomes inescapable (and even then, they'll pull you aside for a private inquiry).

Not to over-generalize or anything  ;D
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 10, 2018, 09:22:34 pm
@RandyL


Yeah, "Minne-soooootans" -- polite to a fault, and would not want to mistakenly tread on a sensitive toe. I grew up with all my relatives from the upper Midwest and went to college there. They will not say a word until you bring it up or it becomes inescapable (and even then, they'll pull you aside for a private inquiry).

Not to over-generalize or anything  ;D

Yep, ya sure, you betcha!

A conversation turned to the remembrance that my sons wife is the one who turned me on to pedicures.  My wife chimes in that I love them and manicures too and that I have the best nails here.
My son non-judgmentally says, yeah I noticed. Polite, didn’t pursue any other thoughts he may be having, like why does pa have boobs?

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on September 10, 2018, 11:22:08 pm
@Jessica
Dear Jess:   
You are "coming out" and there is no hiding it as you are experiencing it more and more with your family members, your your running friends and just about anyone else that you willl be encountering.
   
Your 14 months of HRT is working and doing it's magic.  This is all such wonderful news.... and your positive attitude and grabbing onto your transition success and running with it is your ticket to happily reaching your transition goals...

I will be eagerly looking for your continued transition updates as changes and experiences will be happening more frequently as time goes on.

Hugs and well wishes as always.
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 11, 2018, 08:54:05 am
@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:   
You are "coming out" and there is no hiding it as you are experiencing it more and more with your family members, your your running friends and just about anyone else that you willl be encountering.
   
Your 14 months of HRT is working and doing it's magic.  This is all such wonderful news.... and your positive attitude and grabbing onto your transition success and running with it is your ticket to happily reaching your transition goals...

I will be eagerly looking for your continued transition updates as changes and experiences will be happening more frequently as time goes on.

Hugs and well wishes as always.
Danielle


Goals have been the biggest thing in flux, not necessarily deliberate, but more of evolving.
I never saw me reaching the point I’m at without due consternation’s.  It’s like floating on a river, calm and serene, only the occasional riffle to wake me up.  I expected rapids and waterfalls!

Thank dear Danielle, I do appreciate your support and thoughts!

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: BrianaJ on September 11, 2018, 09:25:29 am
Yeah, "Minne-soooootans" -- polite to a fault, and would not want to mistakenly tread on a sensitive toe. I grew up with all my relatives from the upper Midwest and went to college there. They will not say a word until you bring it up or it becomes inescapable (and even then, they'll pull you aside for a private inquiry).

Not to over-generalize or anything  ;D

Oh my, exactly what I was thinking as I've been following this.  In general, that politeness can't be overstated.  LOL  And while there are certainly people on the other side of that coin, we mid-westerners tend to mind our manners.  I hope you are enjoying it there.  Fall in the upper Midwest has always been one of my favorite times of the year.  I do miss it.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 11, 2018, 11:38:06 am
Oh my, exactly what I was thinking as I've been following this.  In general, that politeness can't be overstated.  LOL  And while there are certainly people on the other side of that coin, we mid-westerners tend to mind our manners.  I hope you are enjoying it there.  Fall in the upper Midwest has always been one of my favorite times of the year.  I do miss it.

The term they use up there is Minnesota nice.
To be "Minnesota nice" is to be passive aggressive.
They always have a smile for you, but afterwards can be a different face.

I don’t classify my son this way.  He hasn’t been there long enough for the lessons my wife and I taught him to wear off.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 13, 2018, 09:47:08 pm
Hi friends, I spent a lovely day visiting and having lunch with Michelle at a nice downtown restaurant.  Treated like the ladies we were by the ladies and men there. 
Chatted for a bit afterwards, then strolled through the town, stopping at the local NYX for some bronzer and a face sculpting palette. Treated like the ladies we were by the ladies there. 
Strolled a bit more through clothing stores and fell in love with a skirt that was not my size...sad.
Meandered down to a local place for afternoon coffee, ordered a Carmel macchiato for Michelle and doppio espresso for myself and the last cannoli to share.  As I was paying the barrister said “thank you sir”.  No tip immediately!  I was quite perturbed and wanted to tell him off, but I didn’t want to cause a scene and dropped it. 
Felt great till then, but didn’t lose my confidence and continued with a conversation about being transgender with Michelle, loud enough evidently to create a hush in the coffee shop.  Didn’t care and we continued discussing our misadventures with endocrinologists!  We weren’t rudely loud and kept our voices low but all I heard were our soft voices.  Was this an impromptu lesson on transgender life to the masses?

Hugs and smiles from a California girl



@Michelle_P
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 14, 2018, 01:05:29 am
I’m beginning to think again that a private diary might be my best option to keep record of my transition.  It is only my thoughts and others have their own to think about, and I’ll feel better if I’m the only one that I’m expecting to read it.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on September 14, 2018, 09:01:34 am
I’m beginning to think again that a private diary might be my best option to keep record of my transition.  It is only my thoughts and others have their own to think about, and I’ll feel better if I’m the only one that I’m expecting to read it.

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
As you know from reading my many comments around the various threads here on the Forums
is that I do BOTH a "Private Dairy/Journal" for my own more private thoughts...   and also as you know I try to keep my personal "Hunted Prey" thread here updated frequently that I can share thoughts and experiences with many like-minded friends that have similar experiences and life events.

Since my high school and college days and throughout my transition and my relocation I have kept an old-fashioned "pen and paper" journal that from time to time includes colorful doodling and some snapshot photos.   I find that it is  a great way to vent to myself and work out my issues and problems on paper and eventually formulate positive solutions.   
On rainy days, cold winter nights, or when I am feeling down, I will sit down with cup of coffee in hand and read many of my past entrees... it is a great to review where I have been and where I am now.
I would encourage you and all of my friends that have not yet done so to start a personal journal.

In conclusion, I think it is essential to have not only your personal transition thread here that you can give and also receive encouragement and sharing of thoughts....  but also a personal journal for your eyes only.   As I stated, I do prefer my personal journal to be the old-fashioned type using pen and paper.

Thank you for keeping your thread updated with your thoughts and your progress in your journey as you are reaching for your goals... and also for treating your followers to some of your lovely photos.

Thanks for posting and sharing as you do not only on your thread but also for all of your contributions and encouragement that you post to the other threads here on the Forums.

Hugs and hugs,
Danielle


Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 14, 2018, 09:13:48 am
I’m coming to the conclusion that personal threads can be a trap that can cause pain as much as help.  Pain comes from needing support and assuming it’s not there because of silence.  I’ve seen it in many other comments throughout the site.  I regret suggesting diary threads to others as they can become tossed to the wayside for more exciting ones.  And there are too many for anyone to keep up with.
I feel that individual posts in proper forums, generating comments from those that are interested in the topic, works better for the fragile psyche that many of us have while transitioning.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on September 14, 2018, 09:19:38 am
@Jessica, I keep a set of those ‘college composition books’, dollar store cheapies, to record everything in.  What I happen to post online are the sanitized “good parts” versions, if I post anything at all of events in my life.

There are some things I feel a need to keep a record of, but are too personal or controversial to share with the world.

I find this can be very helpful, especially when I find myself drifting into a rut or a loop of thoughts that I am repeating.  “Wait, I already wrote down what I thought about this, and what I planned to do.  No need to re-hash this in my head.  Move on!”
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on September 14, 2018, 09:31:56 am
I’m coming to the conclusion that personal threads can be a trap that can cause pain as much as help.  Pain comes from needing support and assuming it’s not there because of silence.  I’ve seen it in many other comments throughout the site.  I regret suggesting diary threads to others as they can become tossed to the wayside for more exciting ones.  And there are too many for anyone to keep up with.
I feel that individual posts in proper forums, generating comments from those that are interested in the topic, works better for the fragile psyche that many of us have while transitioning.

@Jessica:
Dear Jess:   
I hear you and kinda understand how you have come to those conclusions .... BUT.....

Please allow me to respectfully agree to disagree.
Our own personal threads here on the forums help to keep our transition and life events all in one place for us to update and provides a place to come for those interested in following us in our journey.   
 I find that my "Hunted Prey" thread has become my sanctuary and I will go there to find personal solace even if no one else posts a comment or reply. 

Most of the personal threads on here do a great service of providing guidance, encouragement and instructional comments and thoughts regarding transition that many readers find helpful.  Bear in mind that our threads may have followers and readers that share their thoughts with us, but there are also many, many newbies, lurkers and guests that we may never know about and not know how much encouragement and help that we have provided.

Of course there are some personal threads that are no so happy and not so encouraging because the author is going through very difficult time,  but then it is up to those members here to reply with help, understanding and encouraging replies that will let the OP (thread creator) know that they are not alone in their problems and not so good issues that they are dealing with in their transition journey.
I know for a fact that there are many members that have been helped and encouraged in this way.

Just sharing my thoughts with you, that is all....   again, I respect your opinion that you stated.

Thank you for your comments.
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 14, 2018, 09:34:15 am
Jess’s Mess was not to be sanitized in any way.  It was to portray my experiences, in hopes to help others, along with myself.  It seems now it does neither and I truly regret suggesting such threads to others.  Last night as I commented on various friends threads, which were quite active, I could see mine sliding down the feed with no visits.  I needed support from it and realized it wasn’t coming.
Why hurt yourself when it’s more probable to receive help from someone interested in a specific post, instead of from a jumble of thoughts.



@Alaskan Danielle @Michelle_P
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Faith on September 14, 2018, 09:47:27 am
I use a browser only, no feeds, no tapatalk .. browser. I find I can keep tabs on threads/topics important to me plus any that could possibly slide out of view. The only hindrance to my posting is me, when there's a disconnect between my brain and fingers.

I selectively mark read so as to not miss something that may blend in.

I see and read your thread all the time, I only don't post due to my above mentioned hindrance.
 and .. crap .. see, that thought just poofed out of my head ....
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on September 14, 2018, 09:51:32 am
Jess’s Mess was not to be sanitized in any way.  It was to portray my experiences, in hopes to help others, along with myself.  It seems now it does neither and I truly regret suggesting such threads to others.  Last night as I commented on various friends threads, which were quite active, I could see mine sliding down the feed with no visits.  I needed support from it and realized it wasn’t coming.
Why hurt yourself when it’s more probable to receive help from someone interested in a specific post, instead of from a jumble of thoughts.

@Alaskan Danielle @Michelle_P

@Jessica
Dear Jess ...  one of my favorite California Girls
Hey girl, as you know, and my other friends here on the Forums know, I have my own "bad" times that I need extra support and encouragement as well.   

Even the most upbeat and positive members here have down days and may need a extra tight hug and encouraging thoughts from like-minded friends... I personally know this for sure.   
I have a nice group of good friends here on the Forums (including you) that sense when things are not going well for me and that is when we can all utilize the PM feature here on the Forums...  many times when my thread seems silent and I may need to be uplifted...  I am then a busy girl trying to read and reply to PMs sent to me from caring Forum's friends that are "there" for me...

So, Jess, in conclusion, I am "there" for you as you so many times have been "there" for me.

Hugs, and smiles, and well wishes,
Danielle
...    your Northern Star*Girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on September 14, 2018, 10:11:52 am
Jess, I usually use Tapatalk, and that little checkbox on the top of the page that indicates I’m following a thread is checked for yours. I never miss a post, and please don’t take my lack of comments as an indication of lack of interest. I contribute when I think I might be able to help, and occasionally give in to my silly nature and derail the conversation. I’m sorry if I haven’t contributed as I should, and as always, the number of people who comment represent just the part of the iceberg above water. It took me a while to realize that myself for my own thread. Take a look at your page view count to prove that.

Still here. Still reading.

Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: RandyL on September 14, 2018, 10:19:51 am
Hi Jess,

I've been mostly away for a few days. Like Stephanie, I also have your thread checkboxed and see every post, eventually.

I'm sorry there was a rude part of your day with Michelle, but most of it sounds delightful. I love your sotto voce transgender seminar in the coffee shop.

Sent from my Victor 9000 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 14, 2018, 10:25:08 am
@Jessica
Dear Jess ...  one of my favorite California Girls
Hey girl, as you know, and my other friends here on the Forums know, I have my own "bad" times that I need extra support and encouragement as well.   

Even the most upbeat and positive members here have down days and may need a extra tight hug and encouraging thoughts from like-minded friends... I personally know this for sure.   
I have a nice group of good friends here on the Forums (including you) that sense when things are not going well for me and that is when we can all utilize the PM feature here on the Forums...  many times when my thread seems silent and I may need to be uplifted...  I am then a busy girl trying to read and reply to PMs sent to me from caring Forum's friends that are "there" for me...

So, Jess, in conclusion, I am "there" for you as you so many times have been "there" for me.

Hugs, and smiles, and well wishes,
Danielle
...    your Northern Star*Girl

@Alaskan Danielle you know my personal thoughts on PM’s....it’s too slow, as bad as email and sometimes slower than snail mail.  I do find great support from friends through channels outside of Susan’s Place in real time, but there are some that I need direct help from that do not utilize these features and it becomes a burden to try.  Thankfully there are those that do, but it’s still lacking when specific friends are not doing so.
We all have problems time to time and there is no set schedule with emotions.
Yesterday was a great personal day with a friend that included pitfalls that I needed to address and hoped to get it through Susan’s.  I get that everyone is wrapped up in themselves primarily and more than likely blind to others needs.  And at the moment, I’m no different.
Typically my emotions are not read well by others prior to me breaking.


Jess, I usually use Tapatalk, and that little checkbox on the top of the page that indicates I’m following a thread is checked for yours. I never miss a post, and please don’t take my lack of comments as an indication of lack of interest. I contribute when I think I might be able to help, and occasionally give in to my silly nature and derail the conversation. I’m sorry if I haven’t contributed as I should, and as always, the number of people who comment represent just the part of the iceberg above water. It took me a while to realize that myself for my own thread. Take a look at your page view count to prove that.

Still here. Still reading.

Stephanie

@Steph2.0 I don’t blame anyone for not commenting, I find it very hard at times myself on other threads just to keep up.
That’s partly my point, that there are too many and many end up pages behind and missing opportunities for relative comments.  Comments that could have helped at the time if it had been directed at a specific topic in the feed instead of a thread you hope to catch up on.  I’m certain I’ve caused the emotions I’m having on others for the same reason.



I love Jess’s Mess and it breaks my heart to think I’m considering abandoning it.

😪



Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on September 14, 2018, 10:33:57 am
@Jessica
Dear Jess:
In my down moments, and we all have them, I find myself having to go to my own "Positive Mindset" thread to get encouragement from the wise and supportive members that have commented and shared their thoughts there. 

We can find hugs and support in so many ways here on the Forums, we just have to be open to exposing ourselves and our feelings, as you are now doing... and our friends will be along to be there for us.... just as it is being done right now on your thread here.

Even though I started the "Positive Mindset" thread please know that it is there for EVERYONE to benefit from.
                "Positive Mindset... put away negativity" (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,238255.0.html)

Hugs and bigger hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on September 14, 2018, 10:51:44 am
Something to keep in mind is that you DO have friends you can reach out to.  Threads here are not the best or most interactive places to go for support, honestly.  They can, as Jess notes, rapidly slide down the list on a ‘feed’ and be missed by others.  Folks might gloss over a plea for help, in their own search for help and information.  Some folks may not recognize a plea for help through their own filters, and may respond in a very inappropriate way. (Been there, bitten by this!)

I think it is absolutely vital to build one’s own support network, friends one can phone, Skype, or otherwise rapidly connect to for real-time aid.  I would strongly suggest NOT using a text-only medium like texting, e-mail, or message boards when one is in distress, because it is far too easy to misinterpret, misunderstand, and just plain miss cues and signals that are present in voice and expression.  Most of us are not exactly Hemingway when it comes to our writing, and are not that great at communicating nuance in text.

I’m often around via Facebook Messenger, FaceTime, Skype and even the telephone to connect and support others. It’s OK to reach out.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on September 14, 2018, 11:05:29 am
Jess we already spoke about this on Whatsapp but just wanted to drop by to show my support again. I love you and it makes me sad that you're feeling down. I think these threads can really help us just by venting and letting it all out. Don't take it personally if people don't reply, it happens to me in my thread as well.

We all care about you!

Hugs!!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 14, 2018, 11:29:26 am
Something to keep in mind is that you DO have friends you can reach out to.  Threads here are not the best or most interactive places to go for support, honestly.  They can, as Jess notes, rapidly slide down the list on a ‘feed’ and be missed by others.  Folks might gloss over a plea for help, in their own search for help and information.  Some folks may not recognize a plea for help through their own filters, and may respond in a very inappropriate way. (Been there, bitten by this!)

I think it is absolutely vital to build one’s own support network, friends one can phone, Skype, or otherwise rapidly connect to for real-time aid.  I would strongly suggest NOT using a text-only medium like texting, e-mail, or message boards when one is in distress, because it is far too easy to misinterpret, misunderstand, and just plain miss cues and signals that are present in voice and expression.  Most of us are not exactly Hemingway when it comes to our writing, and are not that great at communicating nuance in text.

I’m often around via Facebook Messenger, FaceTime, Skype and even the telephone to connect and support others. It’s OK to reach out.

Michelle, you of course know I am quite aware of this and am not shy about using any of those formats.  And I do understand that there are some that refuse to open themselves to exposure by doing so. 
You have bolstered my thoughts on the use of personal threads.  I feel they are good only for fluff, and if you have a more immediate need, a new thread is warranty. Unfortunately you can’t cross post in the forums and cannot document your plea in your personal thread and a separate one. 
In the beginning I was asked to create Jess’s Mess as a documentary of my transition.  Little did I realize that it became part of me, since it was me, and nothing likes to be alone. 

So yes, I do understand that all it would take is a few more used brain cells to modify a comment to be acceptable on two different threads, but now that has taken away time in my reading and replying of others needs.




@Michelle_P @Charlie Nicki


Jess we already spoke about this on Whatsapp but just wanted to drop by to show my support again. I love you and it makes me sad that you're feeling down. I think these threads can really help us just by venting and letting it all out. Don't take it personally if people don't reply, it happens to me in my thread as well.

We all care about you!

Hugs!!

Girlfriend, you were my first supporter and friend on Susan’s Place.  We are hrt birthday sisters.  And even though I’ve not been able to hug you directly, I feel yours all the time.
You are one of my direct links for help. 
You were the first I reached out to. 
You were the first to give that hug I needed.
We both made a vow to each other when we first started to be there for one another.  We are dear friends for it.

This proves the importance of real time communication between members if at all possible.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on September 14, 2018, 11:42:13 am
Michelle, you of course know I am quite aware of this and am not shy about using any of those formats.  And I do understand that there are some that refuse to open themselves to exposure by doing so. 
You have bolstered my thoughts on the use of personal threads.  I feel they are good only for fluff, and if you have a more immediate need, a new thread is warranty. Unfortunately you can’t cross post in the forums and cannot document your plea in your personal thread and a separate one. 
In the beginning I was asked to create Jess’s Mess as a documentary of my transition.  Little did I realize that it became part of me, since it was me, and nothing likes to be alone. 

So yes, I do understand that all it would take is a few more used brain cells to modify a comment to be acceptable on two different threads, but now that has taken away time in my reading and replying of others needs.




@Michelle_P @Charlie Nicki


Girlfriend, you were my first supporter and friend on Susan’s Place.  We are hrt birthday sisters.  And even though I’ve not been able to hug you directly, I feel yours all the time.
You are one of my direct links for help. 
You were the first I reached out to. 
You were the first to give that hug I needed.
We both made a vow to each other when we first started to be there for one another.  We are dear friends for it.

This proves the importance of real time communication between members if at all possible.

Hugs and smiles, Jess
I love you darling
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Kendra on September 14, 2018, 03:34:48 pm
Jess, whether you post in a personal blog or use separate threads for each topic or good or bad day, I really do care.  We all do.  I don't always respond every time an important post is made but wish I had seen this more quickly.  And please know anyone here is welcome to contact me any time if you need a hand, and I may do the same.  We are in this together. 
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 14, 2018, 05:59:32 pm
Jess, whether you post in a personal blog or use separate threads for each topic or good or bad day, I really do care.  We all do.  I don't always respond every time an important post is made but wish I had seen this more quickly.  And please know anyone here is welcome to contact me any time if you need a hand, and I may do the same.  We are in this together.

Thank you Kendra, I never for a moment thought anybody didn’t care about me or would purposely withhold help. 
My comments are my thoughts on the effects of personal threads.
I’m unsure how I will proceed, if at all, with my own.
Like I’ve mentioned, I love Jess’s Mess, and will find it hard to put the brakes on mentioning my trials in it.  It will feel incomplete, and I will not consider it accurate.
I see my trials getting lost amongst the forums and I will never make sense of them in the future.
So I guess Danielle’s idea needs to come into play and do a hard copy.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

@Kendra @Alaskan Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on September 14, 2018, 06:18:52 pm
@Jessica
My Dear Jess:
A big and giant H U G
.... and a edible HEART.... for my California Girl
  (https://i.imgur.com/ggOOX8c.jpg)  (https://i.imgur.com/moSYwPz.jpg)

I am thinking of you.... and as always, best wishes.
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 14, 2018, 06:42:26 pm
@Jessica
My Dear Jess:
A big and giant H U G
.... and a edible HEART.... for my California Girl
  (https://i.imgur.com/ggOOX8c.jpg)  (https://i.imgur.com/moSYwPz.jpg)

I am thinking of you.... and as always, best wishes.
Danielle


Thank you Danielle, you know I’m a sucker for sprinkles.
This brought a smile to me!
Why the rough day, I ask myself.
Was it the misgendering yesterday?
I think so.
WC in CA had become a safe haven for me, I felt comfortable throughout the area.
Not so much now.  That was the first on purpose (I feel) slight to Jessica by anyone.
Nativity and trust don’t always work together in the public I guess.
I now will unfortunately be uncomfortable for awhile and likely not so open.   
Never felt that would happen (being uncomfortable). 

Hugs and smiles, Jess

@Alaskan Danielle @Laurie @Michelle_P
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on September 14, 2018, 07:30:38 pm
Thank you Danielle, you know I’m a sucker for sprinkles.
This brought a smile to me!
Why the rough day, I ask myself.
Was it the misgendering yesterday?
I think so.
WC in CA had become a safe haven for me, I felt comfortable throughout the area.
Not so much now.  That was the first on purpose (I feel) slight to Jessica by anyone.
Nativity and trust don’t always work together in the public I guess.
I now will unfortunately be uncomfortable for awhile and likely not so open.   
Never felt that would happen (being uncomfortable). 

Hugs and smiles, Jess

@Alaskan Danielle @Laurie @Michelle_P

Jess, I know how the misgendering can fester.  But remember how you were addressed at lunch.  Remember how the gals at that makeup shop were.  Lots of positives, one bored junior barista with an attitude...

That coffee place is off my list for a while.  Once the kid gets fired I’ll go back.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 14, 2018, 08:29:55 pm
@Michelle_P

Jess, I know how the misgendering can fester.  But remember how you were addressed at lunch.  Remember how the gals at that makeup shop were.  Lots of positives, one bored junior barista with an attitude...

That coffee place is off my list for a while.  Once the kid gets fired I’ll go back.


Yes you’re correct, but all it took was one bad comment to remind me, that is what he saw.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 14, 2018, 08:33:33 pm
So friends I’ll join the ranks of the electrocuted this Tuesday.  My first session of hair removal.  Target upper lip!

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: JudiBlueEyes on September 14, 2018, 09:55:49 pm
Hi Jess.  I see there are a number of comments on your electrolysis thread.   I've made a reply.  You could have added that here as it is a part of your life's happenings. 

About the life of diary type threads, remember that as in real life there are exciting times and not so exciting times (thankfully).  You're in this for the long haul.  We can see it.  I read Jess's Mess regularly, but don't always offer a reply as I may have nothing new to offer beyond what others have written.  I do think there are specific audiences for each type of thread and you certainly have yours.  So keep posting!  And best of luck next week with the start of hair removal. 
Hugs, Judi
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 14, 2018, 11:32:17 pm
@JudiBlueEyes


Hi Jess.  I see there are a number of comments on your electrolysis thread.   I've made a reply.  You could have added that here as it is a part of your life's happenings. 

About the life of diary type threads, remember that as in real life there are exciting times and not so exciting times (thankfully).  You're in this for the long haul.  We can see it.  I read Jess's Mess regularly, but don't always offer a reply as I may have nothing new to offer beyond what others have written.  I do think there are specific audiences for each type of thread and you certainly have yours.  So keep posting!  And best of luck next week with the start of hair removal. 
Hugs, Judi

You are so sweet Judi 🌸🌸🌸
I have sometimes had events that have made me a bit emotional.  You may have read earlier that my first purposeful misgendering occurred yesterday in an area I trusted and felt safe.  It took a bit for it to truly sink in and the wave engulfed me.  I feel better now after many well wishes and good advice like yours.  Thank you so much 😊
I am not apt to sanitizing Jess’s Mess and will stay the course by reimagining real life events posted here, so that I can receive more viewing of pressing issues on more forum specific posts...... good or bad.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 15, 2018, 10:28:55 am
This morning, after reflection, I sent a text to my dear friend Michelle.
As I proof read it, I realized it was appropriate to post on Jess’s Mess.

Quote
I want to apologize for my melt down yesterday.  Just one small comment (from the barrister) was bigger than I thought.  Which of course in “Jessica” fashion snowballed.  It took a bit to grab on.  I’m not sure if you read my reaction in my face when it happened.  It changed multiple times. 
Should I have said something at the time?  I still think not.  It was clear to me he had no respect for us and why exacerbate that when there was no chance of it meaning anything to him.  Along with making a scene with a line out the door behind us.
I’m better now, not as leery of presenting in public as I was yesterday.  Which is good, considering my electrolysis provider is in my home town. 
On Tuesday another first will happen.  Presenting where I live.

Many small steps, make giant leaps

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on September 15, 2018, 11:07:44 am
Dear Jess:
There is absolutely no need for you to apologize for the feelings that you expressed in your previous posts.

I was so very concerned when I read your recent post here your thread that indicated that you were so despondent over being mis-gendered... and other feelings that you had regarding keeping your posts up to date on your personal thread that spilled over here on the Forums....
....yes indeed, the ups and downs of the transition journey...  even though as far as I am in my own transition, as you well know I still have my down moments, and you and my other friends here on the Forums are always there to help boost my self-worth...... but is also my local friends that I can meet with in person that can give me a hug and a shoulder to cry on when I need it.
Along those lines, as @Michelle_P mentioned, building a network of good friends that can immediately and personally support you is essential.  Having a local network friends that can be with you in-person is a really big help.

I am glad to see your most recent happier post ...  I hope you are getting back to your happy place.
I figured that my heart-shaped sprinkle cookies might have helped too.

Hugs and well wishes as always... 
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: JudiBlueEyes on September 15, 2018, 11:21:56 am
You may have read earlier that my first purposeful misgendering occurred yesterday in an area I trusted and felt safe.  It took a bit for it to truly sink in and the wave engulfed me. 

I know how you feel.  It still hurts me when it happens, which is infrequently now but still...   I move on more quickly now. 

I'm happy to hear you will continue to write.  Life goes on and sometime the mundane is just what we need to make it all real.  It would be too stressful to live in a constant whirl of emotion.   All my best!
 


Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 15, 2018, 11:31:45 am
Dear Jess:
There is absolutely no need for you to apologize for the feelings that you expressed in your previous posts.

I was so very concerned when I read your recent post here your thread that indicated that you were so despondent over being mis-gendered... and other feelings that you had regarding keeping your posts up to date on your personal thread that spilled over here on the Forums....
....yes indeed, the ups and downs of the transition journey...  even though as far as I am in my own transition, as you well know I still have my down moments, and you and my other friends here on the Forums are always there to help boost my self-worth...... but is also my local friends that I can meet with in person that can give me a hug and a shoulder to cry on when I need it.
Along those lines, as @Michelle_P mentioned, building a network of good friends that can immediately and personally support you is essential.  Having a local network friends that can be with you in-person is a really big help.

I am glad to see your most recent happier post ...  I hope you are getting back to your happy place.
I figured that my heart-shaped sprinkle cookies might have helped too.

Hugs and well wishes as always... 
Danielle


Thank you my dearest Northern Star*Girl, your cookies were vital in my restoration.
My network of personal friends is spread wide and some are near enough for that hug and that shoulder.  Unfortunately for some,  the despondency can shut down the instinct to reach out and use that network.  Sometimes it excludes important ties because of “whatever” constraints.
My first instinct was to reach out to my oldest friend on the forum, and she was there for me immediately from countries away.  Even at such a far distance, it was effective.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl


@Alaskan Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 15, 2018, 11:34:09 am
I know how you feel.  It still hurts me when it happens, which is infrequently now but still...   I move on more quickly now. 

I'm happy to hear you will continue to write.  Life goes on and sometime the mundane is just what we need to make it all real.  It would be too stressful to live in a constant whirl of emotion.   All my best!

Thank you Judi 🌸🌸🌸
It was part of (as Michelle would put it) “Real Life Experience 101”


Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on September 15, 2018, 06:46:47 pm
You really have had a rough few days haven't you...I understand your feelings about your thread and as you have seen I have finished mine asking for it to be locked last week.

I understand why people have their own threads as I have had mine but there are number of pitfalls that come with your own thread and one of them is this feeling of being ignored. When the people from within you group simply nod and smile when reading your posts they don't always feel the need to comment or there may be nothing to comment on, however as the thread owner it can be had to take this into account and see it for what it is.

I felt that way plenty of times in my thread but the most important reason for me stopping was that I was missing that diversity of thought. By sticking to my thread I only received responses from my group and that is not what I wanted to do but by the time I wrote something, replied to my PM's and responses to my postings I was so tired that I was not able to venture into the new posts section.

Being deliberately misgendered especially in a safe space is hard to take because aside from anything else it is a personal attack. It triggers all sorts of horrible feeling usually directed inwards. I hope you are feeling better

Take care

Liz                                                 
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 16, 2018, 12:41:11 am
@LizK

You really have had a rough few days haven't you...I understand your feelings about your thread and as you have seen I have finished mine asking for it to be locked last week.

I understand why people have their own threads as I have had mine but there are number of pitfalls that come with your own thread and one of them is this feeling of being ignored. When the people from within you group simply nod and smile when reading your posts they don't always feel the need to comment or there may be nothing to comment on, however as the thread owner it can be had to take this into account and see it for what it is.

I felt that way plenty of times in my thread but the most important reason for me stopping was that I was missing that diversity of thought. By sticking to my thread I only received responses from my group and that is not what I wanted to do but by the time I wrote something, replied to my PM's and responses to my postings I was so tired that I was not able to venture into the new posts section.

Being deliberately misgendered especially in a safe space is hard to take because aside from anything else it is a personal attack. It triggers all sorts of horrible feeling usually directed inwards. I hope you are feeling better

Take care

Liz                                               

Thank you Liz for your comments about personal threads. You exemplified my thoughts, but instead of me sanitizing Jess’s Mess, I will carry on my thoughts unhindered.  If there is an issue I need a more broad range of answers, I will annotate it here and expand in a new thread.  That gives me the best of two worlds.

I have always considered myself strong in the face of adversity, but my misgendering was unexpected and l was left speechless until I could gather my thoughts.  Unfortunately I had never had those thoughts before, so it was a learning process that I’m still working out.


Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on September 16, 2018, 09:42:10 am
@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I am so very happy that you have worked things out regarding your involvement in your thread and elsewhere on the forums.
I am always making your thread one of my first stops when logging into Susan's Place.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on September 16, 2018, 11:32:53 am
Checkbox? What checkbox? Where? All I have is the Bookmark? Dear Jess! I don't know where this checkbox is but I have had you in my bookmark for awhile now. It sometimes takes me awhile to catch up with all these wonderful and helpful threads. If I haven't posted in your thread, please know it is only due to the lack of my own experience on the issue. I certainly wouldn't want to post anything unnecessary or unhelpful.

I'm glad you have decided to continue to keep updating your thread. Sometimes I may have a problem that may be right up your alley. It makes it easer to just come here and ask you for help. I know (if I may?) I could just send you a PM but by asking for help in your thread may help others as well.

Besides, it would be very difficult to chase you all over the forum just to here how you are doing.

Warm hugs Jess!
Donica.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 16, 2018, 12:01:47 pm
@Donica

Checkbox? What checkbox? Where? All I have is the Bookmark? Dear Jess! I don't know where this checkbox is but I have had you in my bookmark for awhile now. It sometimes takes me awhile to catch up with all these wonderful and helpful threads. If I haven't posted in your thread, please know it is only due to the lack of my own experience on the issue. I certainly wouldn't want to post anything unnecessary or unhelpful.

I'm glad you have decided to continue to keep updating your thread. Sometimes I may have a problem that may be right up your alley. It makes it easer to just come here and ask you for help. I know (if I may?) I could just send you a PM but by asking for help in your thread may help others as well.

Besides, it would be very difficult to chase you all over the forum just to here how you are doing.

Warm hugs Jess!
Donica.

How sweet Donica, thanks for the hug. 🌸🌸🌸  I take all I can get.
That “check box” is on Tapa Talk.  It’s a platform that some enter Susan’s Place through.
I use it for posting pics mainly and haven’t utilized that feature of followed threads.
Mainly I depend on my bookmarks.

My issue with personal threads has been thought out and I feel that I am able to chronicle everything on Jess’s Mess and still create a separate post that would be more involved.
Just a few more brain cells used, that’s all.

I put no blame on anyone for not being able to keep up with members personal threads.  It’s a huge undertaking that only few (like @Alaskan Danielle) can do.
I’m just as guilty as most!

I must stress that if anyone has a personal thread going, do not rely on it for answers.  Always expand your posts to reflect a more description of your issue in a separate post (since not everyone may be following) and you’re far more likely to receive an answer.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: GordonG on September 16, 2018, 02:43:55 pm
As a relative newcomer to Susans, I'd like to chime in. Please don't take offense at what I'm about to say. It just my personal way.

I've mostly stayed away from "personal threads" because the few that I've looked at are rather boring to me as I read the latest posts. I just happened to click on this one. There is just too much to read if I want to start at the beginning. 28 pages just for this one. I'm mainly on the forum for information that is pertinent to me and my situation. Granted that there maybe good information for me in some of these personal multi-page threads. But I have neither the time nor the inclination to read all of it to glean a few "good ones."

Sorry for this interruption. Please continue on.

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 16, 2018, 04:25:10 pm
Checkbox? What checkbox? Where? All I have is the Bookmark? Dear Jess! I don't know where this checkbox is but I have had you in my bookmark for awhile now. It sometimes takes me awhile to catch up with all these wonderful and helpful threads. If I haven't posted in your thread, please know it is only due to the lack of my own experience on the issue. I certainly wouldn't want to post anything unnecessary or unhelpful.

I'm glad you have decided to continue to keep updating your thread. Sometimes I may have a problem that may be right up your alley. It makes it easer to just come here and ask you for help. I know (if I may?) I could just send you a PM but by asking for help in your thread may help others as well.

Besides, it would be very difficult to chase you all over the forum just to here how you are doing.

Warm hugs Jess!
Donica.

Donica, feel free to PM me anytime!


As a relative newcomer to Susans, I'd like to chime in. Please don't take offense at what I'm about to say. It just my personal way.

I've mostly stayed away from "personal threads" because the few that I've looked at are rather boring to me as I read the latest posts. I just happened to click on this one. There is just too much to read if I want to start at the beginning. 28 pages just for this one. I'm mainly on the forum for information that is pertinent to me and my situation. Granted that there maybe good information for me in some of these personal multi-page threads. But I have neither the time nor the inclination to read all of it to glean a few "good ones."

Sorry for this interruption. Please continue on.



I entirely understand what you mean.  Yes, Jess’ Mess is many pages and it is too much to read and it doesn’t have the pizzazz of Hunted Prey (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,236395.0.html).  It’s written mainly to chronicle my transition. 
This has given me consternation when trying to receive answers to “at the moment” issues.
That is why I am now adding only an abbreviated version on the thread to mark when I was having those thoughts, then expanding those thoughts on a new thread that could be read by far more than what visits my personal thread.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl


@Donica @GordonG
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on September 16, 2018, 05:19:35 pm
As a relative newcomer to Susans, I'd like to chime in. Please don't take offense at what I'm about to say. It just my personal way.

I've mostly stayed away from "personal threads" because the few that I've looked at are rather boring to me as I read the latest posts. I just happened to click on this one. There is just too much to read if I want to start at the beginning. 28 pages just for this one. I'm mainly on the forum for information that is pertinent to me and my situation. Granted that there maybe good information for me in some of these personal multi-page threads. But I have neither the time nor the inclination to read all of it to glean a few "good ones."

Sorry for this interruption.
Please continue on.

HANG ON, MY REPLY IS LONG, but please read how some other members such as myself may feel about personal threads.
@GordonG    
Absolutely no problem with you stating your thoughts and please know that your comment is NOT an "interruption' but instead it is a rather a good point for discussion ...  then please, if you will, allow me to chime in with my own thoughts regarding personal threads.

Many longer personal threads that are authored by longer term members are of great interest to other members that have followed them back when the thread was started and the earlier comments were first posted.  Many of the followers of those longer threads have developed Forums friendships with the authors over time and enjoy the give and take of comments... and they are genuinely interested in the author's transition and life progress and in almost all cases both the author and the follower consider the personal threads to be educational, instructional, inspiring and encouraging.... and fun to follow and read.   
The big advantage of all of this is that when the author is going through difficult times, it is then an opportunity for the readers and followers to provide encouraging words, a virtual hug and a shoulder to lean on for the author....
.... as was exactly the case with the recent happenings here on this "Jess's Mess" thread authored by @Jessica.

For many newcomers, but certainly not all, I suppose that the longer threads could perhaps be considered "boring" as you stated, because there is a lot of history stated on those longer threads that the longer term followers can most appreciate....   
...I can see where a newbie might be not inclined to start at the beginning and that is certainly their choice.

In my case, my personal thread  " "I am the HUNTED PREY : Danielle's Chronicles" (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,236395.0.html)" is of now 68 pages of 1368 posts/comments.  Yes it is long, but hopefully not boring as is evidenced by the fact that I still get comments and PMs from new followers that tell me that they took the time to go back to the very beginning of my thread, and are now all caught up with my transition journey, and are now making salient comments on my thread, and are enjoying following my life events.... 

I regularly seek out, follow and read the latest thread comments on my many friends/members longer threads every time I log into the Forums.  On my good friends personal threads such as "Jess's Mess" I make a point of seeking it out when I first login to the Forums.

Obviously not all new-comers with feel this way.   That is why it is important that as members here, new or old, that we consider having the mindset of developing friends on the Forums as we exchange give and take comments on other's threads.  A new-comer making a friend with another like-minded fairly new member will then have personal interest in following their new friend's transition and life journey and that goes both ways.

Certainly it is your decision as to how you want to be involved in the forums, and if you only wish as you stated...
   "I'm mainly on the forum for information that is pertinent to me and my situation." 
...then you will certainly find what you are looking for. 
The Susan's Place Forums is a treasure trove of salient and pertinent information of interest to all of the members here.

Again, thank you @GordonG for expressing your thoughts on all of this and I hope that my resultant thoughts helped you to understand how some of the longer term members feel about their own personal threads and the personal threads of their Forums friends.

Wishing you well, and please enjoy your time here on the Forums.
Danielle

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: GordonG on September 16, 2018, 05:28:13 pm
Danielle
I certainly do appreciate that these threads do provide some good for those involved. I'm not blind to that at all. Just like a good conversation is with a long time friend. I relish those as much as anyone. I just wanted to point out that to me and probably other "newbies" the reasons we don't participate in them. It would be like a complete stranger coming up to me and my long time friend and interrupting our good conversation mentioned above.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 16, 2018, 05:48:52 pm
Danielle
I certainly do appreciate that these threads do provide some good for those involved. I'm not blind to that at all. Just like a good conversation is with a long time friend. I relish those as much as anyone. I just wanted to point out that to me and probably other "newbies" the reasons we don't participate in them. It would be like a complete stranger coming up to me and my long time friend and interrupting our good conversation mentioned above.

Pleased to meet you GordonG, I’m Jessica. 
Anyone is free anytime to comment on any post in the past, present and the future in Jess’s Mess.
This is how I met dear friends that I now cherish.  By commenting on their own trials of transitioning on their threads. 
Nobody I know thinks anyone ever interrupts their threads, yes sometimes they get derailed with silly stuff, but it always gets back on track. 
We all love to post when we can or when it’s pertinent, or sometimes your just in a mood and can’t.
It isn’t the only way to get information, but it’s the best way to see it in real life situations.


Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 16, 2018, 06:32:34 pm
@Alaskan Danielle

HANG ON, MY REPLY IS LONG, but please read how some other members such as myself may feel about personal threads.
@GordonG    
Absolutely no problem with you stating your thoughts and please know that your comment is NOT an "interruption' but instead it is a rather a good point for discussion ...  then please, if you will, allow me to chime in with my own thoughts regarding personal threads.

Many longer personal threads that are authored by longer term members are of great interest to other members that have followed them back when the thread was started and the earlier comments were first posted.  Many of the followers of those longer threads have developed Forums friendships with the authors over time and enjoy the give and take of comments... and they are genuinely interested in the author's transition and life progress and in almost all cases both the author and the follower consider the personal threads to be educational, instructional, inspiring and encouraging.... and fun to follow and read.   
The big advantage of all of this is that when the author is going through difficult times, it is then an opportunity for the readers and followers to provide encouraging words, a virtual hug and a shoulder to lean on for the author....
.... as was exactly the case with the recent happenings here on this "Jess's Mess" thread authored by @Jessica.

For many newcomers, but certainly not all, I suppose that the longer threads could perhaps be considered "boring" as you stated, because there is a lot of history stated on those longer threads that the longer term followers can most appreciate....   
...I can see where a newbie might be not inclined to start at the beginning and that is certainly their choice.

In my case, my personal thread  " "I am the HUNTED PREY : Danielle's Chronicles" (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,236395.0.html)" is of now 68 pages of 1368 posts/comments.  Yes it is long, but hopefully not boring as is evidenced by the fact that I still get comments and PMs from new followers that tell me that they took the time to go back to the very beginning of my thread, and are now all caught up with my transition journey, and are now making salient comments on my thread, and are enjoying following my life events.... 

I regularly seek out, follow and read the latest thread comments on my many friends/members longer threads every time I log into the Forums.  On my good friends personal threads such as "Jess's Mess" I make a point of seeking it out when I first login to the Forums.

Obviously not all new-comers with feel this way.   That is why it is important that as members here, new or old, that we consider having the mindset of developing friends on the Forums as we exchange give and take comments on other's threads.  A new-comer making a friend with another like-minded fairly new member will then have personal interest in following their new friend's transition and life journey and that goes both ways.

Certainly it is your decision as to how you want to be involved in the forums, and if you only wish as you stated...
   "I'm mainly on the forum for information that is pertinent to me and my situation." 
...then you will certainly find what you are looking for. 
The Susan's Place Forums is a treasure trove of salient and pertinent information of interest to all of the members here.

Again, thank you @GordonG for expressing your thoughts on all of this and I hope that my resultant thoughts helped you to understand how some of the longer term members feel about their own personal threads and the personal threads of their Forums friends.

Wishing you well, and please enjoy your time here on the Forums.
Danielle



Thank you Danielle!  That was said so well.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl


Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on September 16, 2018, 06:58:48 pm
Danielle
I certainly do appreciate that these threads do provide some good for those involved. I'm not blind to that at all. Just like a good conversation is with a long time friend. I relish those as much as anyone. I just wanted to point out that to me and probably other "newbies" the reasons we don't participate in them. It would be like a complete stranger coming up to me and my long time friend and interrupting our good conversation mentioned above.

Hi GordonG

You make such a valid point and it is borne out by all the personal threads...of the 100's of people who come through here how many join in like you have on a particular personal thread....not many I would guess...another thing I considered when I was thinking about shutting mine down was that there was so much great information and advice I received since I started my thread that will be on the whole, lost to any new comers...Do personal threads have a place...I think so but that is not for me to say as its not my board. I think as a community this could bare more discussion....How much great advice and practical solutions lie buried in a personal threads? There were plenty in mine...

Take care

Liz
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on September 16, 2018, 07:23:26 pm
Hi GordonG

You make such a valid point and it is borne out by all the personal threads...of the 100's of people who come through here how many join in like you have on a particular personal thread....not many I would guess...another thing I considered when I was thinking about shutting mine down was that there was so much great information and advice I received since I started my thread that will be on the whole, lost to any new comers...Do personal threads have a place...I think so but that is not for me to say as its not my board. I think as a community this could bare more discussion....How much great advice and practical solutions lie buried in a personal threads? There were plenty in mine...

Take care

Liz


@LizK     cc:  @GordonG    @Jessica
Dear Liz:
I would like to add another of my thoughts regarding personal threads... 
...a personal thread can be more helpful to the author as it is to the reader.
 
Frankly, writing out our successes, failures, good times and not so good times is good personal therapy which can allow us to mentally work out our personal issues and try to come up with positive solutions and actions.

Even if no one ever reads my personal thread, I would keep it going just for my personal therapy benefit.


Well wishes to all,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 16, 2018, 07:37:28 pm
@Alaskan Danielle

@LizK     cc:  @GordonG    @Jessica
Dear Liz:
I would like to add another of my thoughts regarding personal threads... 
...a personal thread can be more helpful to the author as it is to the reader.
 
Frankly, writing out our successes, failures, good times and not so good times is good personal therapy which can allow us to mentally work out our personal issues and try to come up with positive solutions and actions.

Even if no one ever reads my personal thread, I would keep it going just for my personal therapy benefit.


Well wishes to all,
Danielle


Evidenced in my last few days worth of Jess’s Mess.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on September 17, 2018, 01:03:18 am
@LizK     cc:  @GordonG    @Jessica
Dear Liz:
I would like to add another of my thoughts regarding personal threads... 
...a personal thread can be more helpful to the author as it is to the reader.
 
Frankly, writing out our successes, failures, good times and not so good times is good personal therapy which can allow us to mentally work out our personal issues and try to come up with positive solutions and actions.

Even if no one ever reads my personal thread, I would keep it going just for my personal therapy benefit.


Exactly the way I now see it, Danielle. I started mine when @Laurie  badgered me into it, but before I even joined Susan’s I pick out some threads and binge-read them. Watching @Laurie , @Michelle_P  , @Rachel , and @Kendra  , to name a few, go through all the changes, good and bad, gave me some idea what I was in for, and how things would go. Far from boring, they were both interesting and educational. Many of the people I followed have gone from the subject of my hero-worship to dear friends.

As for my own thread, I would be thrilled if someone got some benefit from reading it. But even if no one did, it would be valuable to me as a way to document my highs and lows. During a recent low I was able to pull myself out of the hole by going back and reading about some of my recent victories.

If someone isn’t interested in reading my thread, that’s okay. Everyone has their own way of approaching transition. I have gotten recent feedback, though, that some have found it useful. That, and its value to me, will keep me writing.

Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: davina61 on September 17, 2018, 02:52:03 am
Yes my diary thread helps me get stuff out of my brain, it would get so cluttered otherwise!!! Its there for anyone to chime in on the highs and lows of everyday life. I lurk a lot to catch up on everyone's happenings , mostly I have nothing to add as someone has beaten me to it. Its good therapy though and mostly more entertaining than the TV!!!!!!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 17, 2018, 08:47:53 am
This conversation about personal threads is a good thing, but as to my desire, this has now earned a place of its own as it’s own thread and is just a bookmark of an event in Jess’s Mess.
If there is more to be said, let’s open up the discussion to the general membership in a new thread.
Thank you everyone for your comments, they have helped me tremendously.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 18, 2018, 08:55:27 pm
So on to my next adventure....electrolysis!
My first appointment went far better than I expected.
The worry of the pain that was less than what was inflated in my mind, was wasted energy.
Yes it hurt, but I expected to be in tears.
The smooth patch of skin will still need rework, and in time I’ll never need to shave like I do now again!

One hour sessions and many are on the books through October.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on September 18, 2018, 09:12:06 pm
@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I am so very happy that your hair removal session went better that you first thought.   It's the anticipation of pain that may be coming that is the worst of it, then with your hydration and the Lidocaine you then had a much better experience than you had worried about.  Your future sessions will be a breeze for you.   

Now, if you continue on to hair removal in your genital area, all bets are off...  more Lidocaine please!!

As more and more patches of your face become clearer and clearer your motive to continue on will increase....
You likely will be most please with the results.

Thanks for keeping your followers updated.
Hugs, and will wishes...
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on September 19, 2018, 04:06:33 am
So on to my next adventure....electrolysis!
My first appointment went far better than I expected.
The worry of the pain that was less than what was inflated in my mind, was wasted energy.
Yes it hurt, but I expected to be in tears.
The smooth patch of skin will still need rework, and in time I’ll never need to shave like I do now again!

One hour sessions and many are on the books through October.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

Glad to hear the first one went so well. I know the trepidation you feel at that first session...great outcome...in fact its one of the biggest hurdles for many...sounds like you may be one of the ones who can tolerate this treatment really well. That's great for you and I bet a weight off your mind...


Take care

Liz
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on September 19, 2018, 02:15:13 pm
So on to my next adventure....electrolysis!
My first appointment went far better than I expected.
The worry of the pain that was less than what was inflated in my mind, was wasted energy.
Yes it hurt, but I expected to be in tears.
The smooth patch of skin will still need rework, and in time I’ll never need to shave like I do now again!

One hour sessions and many are on the books through October.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

Congrats for conquering another step on the road! :)
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Allison S on September 19, 2018, 02:49:56 pm
Hey Jess, I've quietly followed (most) of your thread for some time.. I still experience misgendering and even purposefully directed misgendering. I don't know when,that gets easier.. I need electrolysis, but I'm a bit timid to start after my experience with laser combusted (to put it lightly...)
Well, I also just wanted to say that you remind me of genuinely nice people I-ve come across. Could be since you're from California, but I always have an intuition about these things...

Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on September 19, 2018, 03:15:43 pm
Well, I also just wanted to say that you remind me of genuinely nice people I-ve come across. Could be since you're from California, but I always have an intuition about these things...


Jess is a genuinely nice person.  She didn’t deserve that misgendering, from a young barista who was obviously in a bad mood.  He couldn’t be bothered to even get our order right!

Some people are just jerks, who cannot stand to see someone else happier than they are, like Jessica.

I’m very happy to see that after all that windup and pretreatment stressing, the electrolysis treatment Jessica had was easier than she expected, and she now has regular treatments booked.  I hope they’ll become regular ‘spa days’ where one looks forward to being cared for by another, even with the momentary discomfort.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: KathyLauren on September 19, 2018, 06:21:52 pm
Jessica, congratulations on getting your electrolysis started.  A journey of 100 hours begins with the first zap.  Or something like that.  It is a big step in correcting our self-image.

Yes, it hurts, but it feels so good when you can feel your face and it is smooth.  In the morning, I am a 220-grit sandpaper instead of the old 60-grit.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 19, 2018, 06:59:35 pm
@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I am so very happy that your hair removal session went better that you first thought.   It's the anticipation of pain that may be coming that is the worst of it, then with your hydration and the Lidocaine you then had a much better experience than you had worried about.  Your future sessions will be a breeze for you.   

Now, if you continue on to hair removal in your genital area, all bets are off...  more Lidocaine please!!

As more and more patches of your face become clearer and clearer your motive to continue on will increase....
You likely will be most please with the results.

Thanks for keeping your followers updated.
Hugs, and will wishes...
Danielle

@Alaskan Danielle

Thank you for the encouragement.  The nether regions are not off limits!  I am not going to hold myself to any limitations in my transition. 

Glad to hear the first one went so well. I know the trepidation you feel at that first session...great outcome...in fact its one of the biggest hurdles for many...sounds like you may be one of the ones who can tolerate this treatment really well. That's great for you and I bet a weight off your mind...


Take care

Liz
@LizK


I appreciate your insight on hurdles, it truly is one, one that I easily cleared. 
It’s as if I have set my mind to an acceptance mode that I can do what I need, without thinking I can’t.


Congrats for conquering another step on the road! :)
@Charlie Nicki

Thank you dear friend, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you.  You saved me very early on!
And certainly you have taken more steps than me, which has given me courage.


Hey Jess, I've quietly followed (most) of your thread for some time.. I still experience misgendering and even purposefully directed misgendering. I don't know when,that gets easier.. I need electrolysis, but I'm a bit timid to start after my experience with laser combusted (to put it lightly...)
Well, I also just wanted to say that you remind me of genuinely nice people I-ve come across. Could be since you're from California, but I always have an intuition about these things...

Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk


@Allison S

I hope Jess’s Mess has been beneficial to you, it has been a big help to me, considering all the advice I’ve gotten from it.

OMG, your face caught on fire 🔥....yikes!
Electrolysis I thought was going to be multiple bee stings in a row for an hour....the bees only stung about 15 minutes in total (mainly on the upper lip).
Well worth doing!

I hope I’m a good person, I like to think I am at least.  It is nice to have someone affirm that to you, thank you!


Jess is a genuinely nice person.  She didn’t deserve that misgendering, from a young barista who was obviously in a bad mood.  He couldn’t be bothered to even get our order right!

Some people are just jerks, who cannot stand to see someone else happier than they are, like Jessica.

I’m very happy to see that after all that windup and pretreatment stressing, the electrolysis treatment Jessica had was easier than she expected, and she now has regular treatments booked.  I hope they’ll become regular ‘spa days’ where one looks forward to being cared for by another, even with the momentary discomfort.
@Michelle_P

Thank you Michelle for the vouching!  @Laurie did the same for me to @Bari Jo early this week.
It’s nice that we are friends and are there for each other.

It did seem the barrister was especially angry, and who knows why, so I do have to step back and realize maybe his rudeness may never have transpired if he had not been so.  Was it us that made him angry, I can’t say for sure.  But everyone has their life problems that do get in the way.
We might not have been the thing that set him in this frame of mind, I just may have been a unlucky recipient of his mood.

I will never replace spa day with electrocution day....
Spa day is pampering you with soft stuff.
I saw no fluffy bunnies yesterday.



Jessica, congratulations on getting your electrolysis started.  A journey of 100 hours begins with the first zap.  Or something like that.  It is a big step in correcting our self-image.

Yes, it hurts, but it feels so good when you can feel your face and it is smooth.  In the morning, I am a 220-grit sandpaper instead of the old 60-grit.
@KathyLauren

I love the quarter size patch of smooth.  It will grow before I know it.


Thank you all for the wonderful support!
I love you all 🌸🌸🌸

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 19, 2018, 09:10:08 pm
Climbed one of the peaks around the SF Bay today with some gals pals of mine!(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180920/fff1926d7623842127c6aa20511b6830.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180920/70ab951e785cb48595338ae97a1eb4b8.jpg)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on September 19, 2018, 09:40:54 pm
  Get down off of there silly girl before those pegs break.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 19, 2018, 10:11:24 pm
Climbed one of the peaks around the SF Bay today with some gals pals of mine!(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180920/fff1926d7623842127c6aa20511b6830.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180920/70ab951e785cb48595338ae97a1eb4b8.jpg)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Just saw one of my gal pals posted pics from this series on FB.
Think everyone knows I have boobs now?
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on September 19, 2018, 10:20:11 pm
Just saw one of my gal pals posted pics from this series on FB.
Think everyone knows I have boobs now?

  Ummm I think it is a bit obvious.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on September 19, 2018, 11:50:01 pm
Just saw one of my gal pals posted pics from this series on FB.
Think everyone knows I have boobs now?

Um.  Given your interesting choice of securing the daypack, yes, I suspect the... cats... are out of the bag.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 20, 2018, 12:14:26 am
@Michelle_P

Um.  Given your interesting choice of securing the daypack, yes, I suspect the... cats... are out of the bag.

Yes I did notice that did define them a bit.  Didn’t think about it at the time. 
Think I subconsciously clipped it that way??
It was comfortable!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on September 20, 2018, 08:17:06 am
Climbed one of the peaks around the SF Bay today with some gals pals of mine!(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180920/fff1926d7623842127c6aa20511b6830.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180920/70ab951e785cb48595338ae97a1eb4b8.jpg)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

OMG that looks so scary!!! But the pictures are awesome, especially the second one.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on September 20, 2018, 11:24:38 am
Awesome pictures Jessica! And oh yes, you have boobs!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on September 20, 2018, 11:41:08 am
Um.  Given your interesting choice of securing the daypack, yes, I suspect the... cats... are out of the bag.
@Michelle_P

Yes I did notice that did define them a bit.  Didn’t think about it at the time. 
Think I subconsciously clipped it that way??
It was comfortable!

@Jessica     cc: @Michelle_P
Dear Jess:   Well, whether you know it or not, I have noticed that the cat's been out of the bag for quite a while lately according to your previous photos that you posted.
I have a couple bras and sports bras... and a top or two that does the cross your heart thing like shown in your photo and the boobs are definitely more defined and apparent .......

I think that your recent visit to your son demonstrated that "fact" that you "got" boobs....
he and everyone else most likely did notice!!!

So, the "full time" clock seems to be ticking a little faster now.   
HRT is most obviously doing it's magic and now for you at your ONE YEAR and 2 months point, it seems that it can do it's magic a little more quickly and dramatically, at least it did for me at that point.

I am so glad to see that your face hair removal went well for you and in subsequent visits you will certainly be pleased regarding your appearance, and of course shaving less and less.

Thanks for posting your latest pictures.... and please be careful up there....  you don't want to do anything extreme that will "cripple" your transition efforts.

Hugs and well wishes as always,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on September 22, 2018, 07:27:05 pm
Climbed one of the peaks around the SF Bay today with some gals pals of mine!(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180920/fff1926d7623842127c6aa20511b6830.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180920/70ab951e785cb48595338ae97a1eb4b8.jpg)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

OH heck I got vertigo just looking at the second photo...I am that person who never goes quite to the sdge and like to hang on to stuff tightly when at certain heights....

good on you for making the climb :)
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on September 25, 2018, 09:47:57 am
@Jessica
My dear Jess:
Your brief absence from your thread is duly noted....
...and no other postings from you around the Forums yesterday were no where to be seen.  :(  ???

All of that is very good news just as long as you are out and about having fun and experiencing a good life with good friends and yummy food.   
Since that is what I think and hope is going on with you I then will be looking forward to your next update posting on your thread, along with any photos you wish to share with your followers.

Wishing you well, as I always do,
HUGS and more hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 25, 2018, 06:22:46 pm
@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
My dear Jess:
Your brief absence from your thread is duly noted....
...and no other postings from you around the Forums yesterday were no where to be seen.  :(  ???

All of that is very good news just as long as you are out and about having fun and experiencing a good life with good friends and yummy food.   
Since that is what I think and hope is going on with you I then will be looking forward to your next update posting on your thread, along with any photos you wish to share with your followers.

Wishing you well, as I always do,
HUGS and more hugs,
Danielle


Danielle, have I ever mentioned that we seem to be in tune with each other sometimes?

Yesterday I had a session with my therapist, and one of the topics was my wife’s continued lack of communication.  She suggested methods to interact with her, ones I’ve tried.  Such as direct questions.  Only answer so far is “everything is fine, I don’t want to talk about it”.
While out and about for lunch with my wife, I brought up my meeting and told her we need to talk.  She agreed that her lack of conversation has not been the right way for her to have gone.  She then told me that she has an appointment with an SO group and is hopeful to get some tips.
She is comfortable with the slow changes that have occurred, but she has a hard time seeing me as a woman.
We both feel our vows to each other are sacred and we’ve promised to find a balance for our relationship.
So it is a good thing and I’m happy.

As far as my absence at Susan’s....
After the landscaping was completed, my wife wanted a better view.
So I get to replace the 4’x3’ windows with 4’x5’.
Oh joy!

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180925/82511bdd62939de6e18cdcc77d575319.jpg)

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 26, 2018, 05:00:53 pm
@Alaskan Danielle


Here’s number 2 of 3 Danielle, I been busy girlfriend.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180926/0ebb52b5f95cf4031b2adbae36b68110.jpg)

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on September 26, 2018, 05:15:59 pm
@Alaskan Danielle


Here’s number 2 of 3 Danielle, I been busy girlfriend.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180926/0ebb52b5f95cf4031b2adbae36b68110.jpg)

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

@Jessica
Dear Jess:  Yes indeed, it does appear that you have been a busy girl... you do very nice work, it is very nice to have skill like that.   I am not very accomplished with woodworking but I do know my way around calculators and financial ledgers and records, etc.   
Nice work, and very nice photos....

Thank you for posting and keeping all of us up to date with your life endeavors.
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 26, 2018, 06:39:56 pm
@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:  Yes indeed, it does appear that you have been a busy girl... you do very nice work, it is very nice to have skill like that.   I am not very accomplished with woodworking but I do know my way around calculators and financial ledgers and records, etc.   
Nice work, and very nice photos....

Thank you for posting and keeping all of us up to date with your life endeavors.
Hugs,
Danielle


Thank you Danielle, my forte is steel, wood is a hobby.
I worked on multi-story buildings throughout my 34 year career.
37 buildings were in San Francisco alone.  I was the go to person for anything that was technically hard with architecturally artistic overtones.   
One joy that I have is, I can’t count how many apprentices turned out under me. 
Teaching was a calling then too.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on September 26, 2018, 06:49:16 pm
@Alaskan Danielle

Thank you Danielle, my forte is steel, wood is a hobby.
I worked on multi-story buildings throughout my 34 year career.
37 buildings were in San Francisco alone.  I was the go to person for anything that was technically hard with architecturally artistic overtones.   
One joy that I have is, I can’t count how many apprentices turned out under me. 
Teaching was a calling then too.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

@Jessica
Dear Jess:    
Thanks for your reply, I am really impressed with your workmanship, you have my praise.
 
As a frivolous and certainly not serious side note:  I hope and trust that you didn't in any way, shape or form work on the fairly new 58-story skyscraper in San Francisco that is tilting and sinking — and residents say their multimillion-dollar condos are 'nearly worthless' Millennium Tower in San Francisco is still sinking and leaning.
    https://abc7news.com/realestate/san-franciscos-millennium-tower-is-leaning-sinking-and-now-cracking/4157161/

You, as an experience builder and expert may have an answer for me....  I am curious ......  how can that sort of thing even happen without a destructive event like an earthquake especially with the strict building code in San Francisco ???

Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on September 27, 2018, 06:58:06 am
@Alaskan Danielle

Danielle, have I ever mentioned that we seem to be in tune with each other sometimes?

Yesterday I had a session with my therapist, and one of the topics was my wife’s continued lack of communication.  She suggested methods to interact with her, ones I’ve tried.  Such as direct questions.  Only answer so far is “everything is fine, I don’t want to talk about it”.
While out and about for lunch with my wife, I brought up my meeting and told her we need to talk.  She agreed that her lack of conversation has not been the right way for her to have gone.  She then told me that she has an appointment with an SO group and is hopeful to get some tips.
She is comfortable with the slow changes that have occurred, but she has a hard time seeing me as a woman.
We both feel our vows to each other are sacred and we’ve promised to find a balance for our relationship.
So it is a good thing and I’m happy.

As far as my absence at Susan’s....
After the landscaping was completed, my wife wanted a better view.
So I get to replace the 4’x3’ windows with 4’x5’.
Oh joy!



Hugs and smiles from a California girl

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hi Jessica

It is such a tough space to be in. I understand your commitment to your vows, Meryl and I feel very much the same way. So in her eyes there was nothing for it but for us to work things through.
I hope you can too, your wife sounds committed to finding a solution that works and I hope you can work it out. I consider myself very fortunate to have the support I do.

I hope you are able to get the lines of communication etween you fully functioning. 

Take care

Liz
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on September 28, 2018, 01:29:47 am
@Jessica:
Dear Jess:
You have been awfully quiet on the forumsy lately, I trust that all is OK with you and your life endeavors....
Being retired you are probably somewhere having fun with your many friends and not spending your time online....   
....hmm, perhaps I need to retire too... but at 38 years old, I can't quite swing that yet.

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 28, 2018, 09:31:19 am
@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica:
Dear Jess:
You have been awfully quiet on the forumsy lately, I trust that all is OK with you and your life endeavors....
Being retired you are probably somewhere having fun with your many friends and not spending your time online....   
....hmm, perhaps I need to retire too... but at 38 years old, I can't quite swing that yet.

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle


Thank you for your concern Danielle.  I am in a bit of a slump after my wife’s and my much needed discussion.  While she has all intentions to work this out, her not knowing if she could ever see me as female has put me to thinking “will I ever be able to go full time”.  Maybe I will in time, but I will need to show my wife that the small steps that she is comfortable with now are leading to a more feminine definition in my self and soul.

I also hate wearing my grubby work clothes (male) when I do work on the homestead!
I do love creating and constructing, but can’t wait till I’m done.  Of course as has been the norm, as soon as I’m finished my sweetheart will have written a new honeydo list.

In regards to an earlier question of why a new building could be in such a sad state of affairs.
Ineptitude and passing the buck is why this happened.
The engineer signed off of on the engineering end of things, but the most important aspect was ingnored....soil!  They did not utilize a geologist to determine the stability of the soil.
This is compounded by the fact that numerous entities saw problems and only said “my stuffs right” and moved on.  Sinking 1 foot and leaning 2 inches for a 58 story building will be catastrophic in the future as it continues unabated.
Webcor was the general contractor for this project and I put most of the blame on them for not red flagging obvious issues.  I have done work for them in the past and have never been impressed on their team.  Fortunately (or unfortunately) I was retired a few months before it broke ground.  I see the only solution is ‘start over’.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Faith on September 28, 2018, 10:05:40 am
Quote
I also hate wearing my grubby work clothes (male) when I do work on the homestead!

That sucks. I relegated my 'grubby male stuff' to the trash and proceeded to create new 'grubby female stuff'
I may, if I dig, find an old white t-shirt buried (no, not the yard) in the back of my dresser.

some of those discussions can be brutal. They are totally necessary though. So much harder to those that we are closest to.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on September 28, 2018, 10:08:43 am
@Alaskan Danielle

Thank you for your concern Danielle.  I am in a bit of a slump after my wife’s and my much needed discussion.  While she has all intentions to work this out, her not knowing if she could ever see me as female has put me to thinking “will I ever be able to go full time”.  Maybe I will in time, but I will need to show my wife that the small steps that she is comfortable with now are leading to a more feminine definition in my self and soul.

I also hate wearing my grubby work clothes (male) when I do work on the homestead!
I do love creating and constructing, but can’t wait till I’m done.  Of course as has been the norm, as soon as I’m finished my sweetheart will have written a new honeydo list.
...

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

Jessica, that’s a rough place to be in, and I know how much it can hurt sometimes.  If you need a ‘day off’ or a ‘day out’, you are always welcome here, my friend.

If nothing else, you can give me a hand with Robyn, my post-GCS patient coming in tonight!  Yup, she’s baaaaaaack!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on September 28, 2018, 10:10:47 am
Hi Jess! That is a lot on your shoulders. I know how things can be overlooked either by accident or on purpose. Either way, someone is in very hot water. In this case, I think it was best to be retired before they broke ground on that building. It's obvious the contractor had plenty of time to cover all the issues before beginning the project.

I love following your thread Jess. I hope your and your wife can work things out and stay together and allow you to be a complete you. It's far better to have a wonderful relationship with your SO than to be divorced and alone as I am.

Oh, and I love the new windows Jess!

Hugs,
Donica.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on September 28, 2018, 04:19:16 pm
@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I am wishing that you have a good day today and a wonderful and pleasant weekend.   I trust that many of the life issues that you are dealing with can be resolved satisfactory and soon.
Your goal of going full-time is something that you have been dreaming about for a long time, do not give up on that dream and your final goals.

Wishing you happiness, success and a continued journey forward with your transistion.

Hugs and hugs and hugs 
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 28, 2018, 04:37:30 pm
@Faith @Michelle_P @Donica

That sucks. I relegated my 'grubby male stuff' to the trash and proceeded to create new 'grubby female stuff'
I may, if I dig, find an old white t-shirt buried (no, not the yard) in the back of my dresser.

some of those discussions can be brutal. They are totally necessary though. So much harder to those that we are closest to.

Hi Faith🙋‍♀️
I’m waiting for one of my GV Amanda’s to wear a hole in them.  Though I do think I need to go down to size 8 from a 10.  Time for shopping!

All I want is dialogue and a place that we are happy together.  If the truth can’t be said or heard it would be impossible for either of us to be happy.  I welcome her thoughts.


Jessica, that’s a rough place to be in, and I know how much it can hurt sometimes.  If you need a ‘day off’ or a ‘day out’, you are always welcome here, my friend.

If nothing else, you can give me a hand with Robyn, my post-GCS patient coming in tonight!  Yup, she’s baaaaaaack!

I know I can count on you Michelle.  I do enjoy our adventures!

Didn’t you move the Honey Badgers into Robyn’s room?

Hi Jess! That is a lot on your shoulders. I know how things can be overlooked either by accident or on purpose. Either way, someone is in very hot water. In this case, I think it was best to be retired before they broke ground on that building. It's obvious the contractor had plenty of time to cover all the issues before beginning the project.

I love following your thread Jess. I hope your and your wife can work things out and stay together and allow you to be a complete you. It's far better to have a wonderful relationship with your SO than to be divorced and alone as I am.

Oh, and I love the new windows Jess!

Hugs,
Donica.

Thank you Donica for the window compliment.  The third will be done soon.
My other construction endeavors from my past is just that.... in the past.
The first 30 years it was a passion, the last 4 was a fight when management went corporate.
Soured everything for me, had my years in for my pension, so why not.
Now everyday is Saturday.

My wife and I have been committed to our marriage unflinchingly.  After more than 37 years we understand each other fairly well.  We will see how this turns out with my transition, but my hunches are we will still be together.



Thank you all for your responses,
Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 28, 2018, 04:52:49 pm
@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I am wishing that you have a good day today and a wonderful and pleasant weekend.   I trust that many of the life issues that you are dealing with can be resolved satisfactory and soon.
Your goal of going full-time is something that you have been dreaming about for a long time, do not give up on that dream and your final goals.

Wishing you happiness, success and a continued journey forward with your transistion.

Hugs and hugs and hugs 
Danielle


Thank you Danielle, I just returned from my first voice therapy appointment.  It went well in respects that there is hope, except not so well in others.
While filming my vocal cords it was noticed that the right one was not performing correctly and appeared to have an irregular edge.  It also did not vibrate the same.  This is something that I had suspected for a while.  My voice has had issues with post nasal issues, but is relatively clear and strong.  (I will preface that a dozen or more years ago I noticed problems with my voice and mentioned to my doctor.  I don’t think they tried very hard.) 
So now I need to see a specialist that may want to take a biopsy...oh joy!

Oh, and electrolysis yesterday was a shocking endeavor⚡️⚡️⚡️

Thank you so much for your heartfelt concern for my wife’s and my relationship.
The status quo that she is comfortable with is me doing everything I have been doing, including incremental steps.  If that puts me in a place at some point that changes her view, all the better.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on September 28, 2018, 05:15:04 pm


Hi Faith‍♀️
I’m waiting for one of my GV Amanda’s to wear a hole in them.  Though I do think I need to go down to size 8 from a 10.  Time for shopping!

OMG, Gloria Vanderbilt Amandas are the best! I’m glad to know other girls here think so too! Why would you want to put a hole in them?!

Congratulations on dropping a size!

Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on September 28, 2018, 05:28:24 pm
I’m waiting for one of my GV Amanda’s to wear a hole in them.  Though I do think I need to go down to size 8 from a 10.  Time for shopping!

I started with 10, because they fit like mens jeans.  I quickly realized that was wrong, tried size 8, better, then tried size 6.  Perfect!  There’s a reason these pants all have spandex in the fabric...

I have a couple pair of GV Amanda in size 6 and a pair of Buffalo skinny jeans in a 6 you might want to try.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 28, 2018, 05:30:25 pm
@Steph2.0

OMG, Gloria Vanderbilt Amandas are the best! I’m glad to know other girls here think so too! Why would you want to put a hole in them?!

Congratulations on dropping a size!

Stephanie

Stephanie!!  Because I need grubby girl pants to work in.  My butt doesn’t look right in 501’s!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Faith on September 28, 2018, 06:20:13 pm
@Steph2.0

Stephanie!!  Because I need grubby girl pants to work in.  My butt doesn’t look right in 501’s!

YOU TELL HER!! Some people don't get it .. she should though .. Shame on you Steph! 

psst
:D
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on September 28, 2018, 07:12:08 pm
YOU TELL HER!! Some people don't get it .. she should though .. Shame on you Steph! 

psst

Oh pshaw on y’all. I know what girl work pants look like. I have some of my wife’s hand-me-downs to wear for the dirty work. I don’t need to wear out my beautiful Amandas for that!

Sorry about the graphic language.

Shameful Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 28, 2018, 07:19:33 pm
Oh pshaw on y’all. I know what girl work pants look like. I have some of my wife’s hand-me-downs to wear for the dirty work. I don’t need to wear out my beautiful Amandas for that!

Sorry about the graphic language.

Shameful Stephanie

My wife’s legs are way longer than mine, no hand me downs from her!
And don’t get me going on tops.  She gives away beautiful stuff all the time.  The only problem is I am a B/C and she is a DD. 
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on September 29, 2018, 08:34:27 am
Are the GV Amanda pants as stretchy as my Levi Strauss signature blue jeans? I love my stretchy jeans! If so, I'm going shopping.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 29, 2018, 08:42:13 am
Are the GV Amanda pants as stretchy as my Levi Strauss signature blue jeans? I love my stretchy jeans! If so, I'm going shopping.

Not sure of the difference or the sameness, but they do have a nice give to them.
They are soooo comfortable!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Faith on September 29, 2018, 08:48:30 am
My wife’s legs are way longer than mine, no hand me downs from her!... <snip>...

It's called HEM, Learn to sew :D
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on September 29, 2018, 08:54:31 am
It's called HEM, Learn to sew :D

There’s a thought.....I do sew better than her.
Her Capri’s come down to my ankles, so there’s that.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on September 29, 2018, 09:01:16 am
Not sure of the difference or the sameness, but they do have a nice give to them.
They are soooo comfortable!

That's great! I wear a size 7 or 8 undies depending on the brand, so I'm guessing size 8 GV Amanda's? I checked them out on Amazon. They are lovely. That's it! Amazon, here I come for a couple pairs of capris. Thanks for the great find!

Donica.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on October 01, 2018, 11:22:49 am
Dear Jess! Aren't you going to introduce us? It's a lovely picture of someone very lovely?
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 01, 2018, 11:33:11 am
@Donica @Alaskan Danielle

Dear Jess! Aren't you going to introduce us? It's a lovely picture of someone very lovely?

That was a dear friend that needed help embedding a pic.... I thought I had removed it from this thread in my endeavors.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on October 02, 2018, 10:18:59 pm
@Jessica
My Dear Jess:
Here it is Tuesday evening October 02, 2018.....   just wondering what my very good friend,
the beautiful California Girl Jess, has done today....  and what you are doing tomorrow ???   
I ask because I have noticed that you have been unusually quiet on your thread and around the forums today.

I trust that all is going well with you and your life endeavors....   please reply here
...or on email or PM if that is better for you.

I will be watching for you replies and postings.

Hugs and hugs and more hugs....
and perhaps some more cookies when get time to bake more.
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on October 04, 2018, 03:04:16 pm
@Jessica
Dear Jess....... Where art thou??

Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 04, 2018, 03:06:14 pm
@Jessica
Dear Jess....... Where art thou??

Danielle

Lots of stuff happening, some humdrum, some distracting, some just working it out, some tears.

When trying to hold on, I lose my grip sometimes.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl



Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 04, 2018, 04:42:28 pm
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181004/63a877d00263a3dd09338e631a5d1abd.jpg)

New shoes for my 10k race on Saturday


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on October 04, 2018, 05:44:16 pm
They're PINK  I like them
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on October 04, 2018, 05:45:05 pm
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181004/63a877d00263a3dd09338e631a5d1abd.jpg)

New shoes for my 10k race on Saturday


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hey, you got them!

Comfortable I hope, for a 10K race!  And a nice color, too. 

OK, so I’m biased.  Good luck in the race!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Kendra on October 04, 2018, 05:46:29 pm
If the distance seems difficult, remember it's 5k per foot.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 04, 2018, 06:12:12 pm
They're PINK  I like them

I know you do, and you’re jealous...


Hey, you got them!

Comfortable I hope, for a 10K race!  And a nice color, too. 

OK, so I’m biased.  Good luck in the race!

So, you know I have had problems with finding women’s size 13 (sometimes 12).
These were a special at Saucony for Breast Awareness Month.....men’s 11.
Oh joy and they fit like a dream......


If the distance seems difficult, remember it's 5k per foot.


Love it Kendra!  All I need is a split personality and it’s a twofer......oh wait.....



Hugs and smiles from a California girl

@Laurie @Michelle_P @Kendra
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on October 04, 2018, 07:21:22 pm
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181004/63a877d00263a3dd09338e631a5d1abd.jpg)

New shoes for my 10k race on Saturday


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

@Jessica
Dear Jess:   Welcome back to your thread.... I missed you

I love your new shoes...  I hope that you break them in just a little before you run the 10K, otherwise you could be sorry.   I love the Pink color.... they will not be mistaken for anything but a woman's shoe.

I hope that the 10K run is ready for you... only 6.2 miles, quite a bit less than half of a half-marathon (13.1 miles)  I sincerely hope that you have a good time with your running friends and who cares about your finish time anyway.

Thank you for your happy posting and telling your followers what you are up to this weekend... certainly we will want to see pictures if you feel so led to post them... and if you want me to hide some of the other's faces in your pictures, well, you know the drill, we have done that together previously.

Hugs and well wishes as always,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 04, 2018, 07:58:41 pm
@Jessica
Dear Jess:   Welcome back to your thread.... I missed you

I love your new shoes...  I hope that you break them in just a little before you run the 10K, otherwise you could be sorry.   I love the Pink color.... they will not be mistaken for anything but a woman's shoe.

I hope that the 10K run is ready for you... only 6.2 miles, quite a bit less than half of a half-marathon (13.1 miles)  I sincerely hope that you have a good time with your running friends and who cares about your finish time anyway.

Thank you for your happy posting and telling your followers what you are up to this weekend... certainly we will want to see pictures if you feel so led to post them... and if you want me to hide some of the other's faces in your pictures, well, you know the drill, we have done that together previously.

Hugs and well wishes as always,
Danielle


Danielle, 6.1 miles is just a warm up now.  I’m afraid for this race.  I may need to back it down a bit.  This is the first race I’ve signed up for as a woman.  I don’t want to be the lady they call up for my age bracket, let alone win.
At least all my gal pals are in younger brackets, so I would avoid that awkwardness.
Not like the scowl I would receive from that grandmother I just passed.
I plan to break them in with a warm up to the warm up 5k today and tomorrow.
Saucony’s have always performed well for me from the get go.
Neutral foot helps.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

@Alaskan Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on October 04, 2018, 10:02:59 pm
Danielle, 6.1 miles is just a warm up now.  I’m afraid for this race.  I may need to back it down a bit.  This is the first race I’ve signed up for as a woman.  I don’t want to be the lady they call up for my age bracket, let alone win.
At least all my gal pals are in younger brackets, so I would avoid that awkwardness.
Not like the scowl I would receive from that grandmother I just passed.
I plan to break them in with a warm up to the warm up 5k today and tomorrow.
Saucony’s have always performed well for me from the get go.
Neutral foot helps.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Good for you, yes indeed, the 5K is a nice warm up run/jog for the next day's 10K (or longer) event.   Since you are a half-marathoner and full-marathoner like myself, the 5K is a snap. 

 I am glad that you are breaking in your shoes before you run in the 10Kl.  This is obvious but if you start forming a blister anywhere on your foot or ankle, STOP, and change shoes immediately.

Interesting comment you made about mentioning that you "need to back it down a bit" ....  that would certainly be something to consider about NOT being the trans-woman that wins the race....   the events that I have been running in since I became full-time seem to have a lot of ladies my age that are quite fast and put in really great times so it is not always super-easy for me to keep near the front of the pack.

Wishing your good luck and have fun running with your gal-friends.   I know that in the past that your wife has done these types of events .... is she participating in the 10K with you?

Hugs and well wishes as always...
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 04, 2018, 11:15:59 pm
@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Good for you, yes indeed, the 5K is a nice warm up run/jog for the next day's 10K (or longer) event.   Since you are a half-marathoner and full-marathoner like myself, the 5K is a snap. 

 I am glad that you are breaking in your shoes before you run in the 10Kl.  This is obvious but if you start forming a blister anywhere on your foot or ankle, STOP, and change shoes immediately.

Interesting comment you made about mentioning that you "need to back it down a bit" ....  that would certainly be something to consider about NOT being the trans-woman that wins the race....   the events that I have been running in since I became full-time seem to have a lot of ladies my age that are quite fast and put in really great times so it is not always super-easy for me to keep near the front of the pack.

Wishing your good luck and have fun running with your gal-friends.   I know that in the past that your wife has done these types of events .... is she participating in the 10K with you?

Hugs and well wishes as always...
Danielle


Unfortunately Danielle my wife’s running days are over.  A few months back she was diagnosed with severe arthritis in her right hip.  She is needing a hip replacement and can never run again.  There is only so much wear that a prosthetic hip can endure, so she will never ski or rock climb again either.  One fall and your done.

Thank you for your shared thoughts on trans-women winning the race.  I am markedly faster than any of my gal pals, I’m the one that pushes them to the limit.  So if that’s any indication and I don’t want to be the woman on the podium with an cleared electrolysis chin and a deeper voice, I better tone it down to a trot.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

@Alaskan Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on October 04, 2018, 11:46:38 pm
Unfortunately Danielle my wife’s running days are over.  A few months back she was diagnosed with severe arthritis in her right hip.  She is needing a hip replacement and can never run again.  There is only so much wear that a prosthetic hip can endure, so she will never ski or rock climb again either.  One fall and your done.

Thank you for your shared thoughts on trans-women winning the race.  I am markedly faster than any of my gal pals, I’m the one that pushes them to the limit.  So if that’s any indication and I don’t want to be the woman on the podium with an cleared electrolysis chin and a deeper voice, I better tone it down to a trot.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:   
I am so very sorry to hear about your wife's health and hip issues.  When is the hip replacement scheduled???  My mother had a hip replaced and she did quite well with it... there was no running or mountain climbing going on.

Regarding the race with other women about your age... you just might be surprised how fast that some of them might be able run the event.   As I mentioned in my previous comment, even though I have run long distance events regularly and with good times, there were a number of women in my last event, the charity run that I posted about, that gave me a "run for my money"   .... a few of the gals were quite quick.  It sounds like you may have previously run with some of these ladies so you should have a good calibration on their abilities.
But you perhaps want to be careful how slow you decide to trot.

Hugs and well wishes as always....
Danielle


Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on October 05, 2018, 11:20:35 am
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181004/63a877d00263a3dd09338e631a5d1abd.jpg)

New shoes for my 10k race on Saturday


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Oh I soooo love those shoe's Jess!!! 10K on Saturday? That's tomorrow.

Good luck tomorrow Jess!
Donica.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Faith on October 05, 2018, 11:32:19 am
Unfortunately Danielle my wife’s running days are over.  A few months back she was diagnosed with severe arthritis in her right hip.  She is needing a hip replacement and can never run again.  There is only so much wear that a prosthetic hip can endure, so she will never ski or rock climb again either.  One fall and your done.
<snip>

So sorry to hear that. That's got to be hard on someone that's been active. Give her a hug for me

Faith
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on October 05, 2018, 03:37:47 pm
@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I will be eagerly looking for your report about your 5K warm-up run today as you prepare for your 10K event on Saturday.   

Way too cold here for any running events... last night got down into the low to mid-20's  .... very heavy frost on the ground this morning, almost looked like snow but the skies were clear.   We did have some snow a few days ago and snow is in the forecast for next week....   this is awfully early in October for this kind of stuff...

So, anyway, I am wishing your well and have fun and enjoy your running events.....
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on October 06, 2018, 09:49:45 am
BBQ Pool Party at Jessica's after the 10K ;D.

Donica.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on October 06, 2018, 10:40:06 am
BBQ Pool Party at Jessica's after the 10K ;D.

Donica.

@Donica    @Jessica
Dear Donica:   
Very good plan....  note to Jess....   medium rare on my steak please....

So, Jess, I trust that you will have a good time at your 10K running event... I will be looking forward to your report when you finally get home and back on your computer.... perhaps with a few pictures???
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 06, 2018, 10:41:32 pm
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181007/24bee5ef94444679e5de9d05f08e489e.jpg)

@Alaskan Danielle @Donica @Laurie

We waited for everyone to show up for the BBQ.......again.
Second time that has happened...Danielle???  Donica???

Oh and sorry Danielle, I don’t like running with my phone so no selfies!  I hope for good shots from the race organizers.
I was a lone runner today since the gal pal that was joining me, had a sick child.
Ran an unofficial 75 min 10k, about 25 mins slower than my fastest.  Again though I did not want to place in the women’s age group I was in.  Final results aren’t in yet, but I was not in the top three.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on October 06, 2018, 10:56:14 pm
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181007/24bee5ef94444679e5de9d05f08e489e.jpg)

@Alaskan Danielle @Donica @Laurie

We waited for everyone to show up for the BBQ.......again.
Second time that has happened...Danielle???  Donica???

Oh and sorry Danielle, I don’t like running with my phone so no selfies!  I hope for good shots from the race organizers.
I was a lone runner today since the gal pal that was joining me, had a sick child.
Ran an unofficial 75 min 10k, about 25 mins slower than my fastest.  Again though I did not want to place in the women’s age group I was in.  Final results aren’t in yet, but I was not in the top three.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

@Jessica       cc: @Laurie    @Michelle_P    @Donica 
Dear Jess:
You and Laurie look so very happy....  it looks as if you two are having lots of fun.

I am glad you finished your race with a fairly good time...  I know why you ran a little slower and I think that you were quite wise following your strategy.   I will indeed be looking for any of the published pics from the race organizers.

I am sorry that Donica and I missed your after-race BBQ.   So did you at least have Laurie and Michelle at your pool party tonight?   ....  any others that I may know?

Get some good rest tonight....  it was nice to see your posting tonight.
Hugs to you and also to Laurie and Michelle,
Danielle

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on October 07, 2018, 12:08:29 pm
@Jessica       cc: @Laurie    @Michelle_P    @Donica 
Dear Jess:
You and Laurie look so very happy....  it looks as if you two are having lots of fun.

I am glad you finished your race with a fairly good time...  I know why you ran a little slower and I think that you were quite wise following your strategy.   I will indeed be looking for any of the published pics from the race organizers.

I am sorry that Donica and I missed your after-race BBQ.   So did you at least have Laurie and Michelle at your pool party tonight?   ....  any others that I may know?

Get some good rest tonight....  it was nice to see your posting tonight.
Hugs to you and also to Laurie and Michelle,
Danielle



In my defence, I was at a lovely Gala last night. Sorry i missed the BBQ ladies. Did anyone save me a burger?

Donica.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 07, 2018, 05:59:45 pm
I’m sorry Donica, we had porterhouse steaks, roasted potatoes, sautéed green beans/cherry tomatoes paired with a local porter ale, topped off with a luscious chocolate Crémeux and Mexican coffee next to the fire pit.

Hugs and smiles from a Northern California girl


Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on October 07, 2018, 06:17:56 pm
I’m sorry Donica, we had porterhouse steaks, roasted potatoes, sautéed green beans/cherry tomatoes paired with a local porter ale, topped off with a luscious chocolate Crémeux and Mexican coffee next to the fire pit.

Hugs and smiles from a Northern California girl

@Jessica
Dear Jess: 
You really know how to rub it in.... 
Porterhouse Steaks!!! ... and all the trimmings....really?   
... and  @Donica  had a nice meal at the Gala event that she attended.

All by myself and alone I had a less enticing dinner of chicken and rice.  *sad face*  :(

I am almost crying that I missed out.... I hope that you don't feel too sorry for me.
Hugs and hugs, thanks for your posting in spite of the fact that I now feel so sad.
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 07, 2018, 06:45:00 pm
@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess: 
You really know how to rub it in.... 
Porterhouse Steaks!!! ... and all the trimmings....really?   
... and  @Donica  had a nice meal at the Gala event that she attended.

All by myself and alone I had a less enticing dinner of chicken and rice.  *sad face*  :(

I am almost crying that I missed out.... I hope that you don't feel too sorry for me.
Hugs and hugs, thanks for your posting in spite of the fact that I now feel so sad.
Danielle

Danielle, I could prepare it personally for you.  You’re only a 5 hour flight and a two day dogsled mush away.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on October 08, 2018, 11:13:45 am
I’m sorry Donica, we had porterhouse steaks, roasted potatoes, sautéed green beans/cherry tomatoes paired with a local porter ale, topped off with a luscious chocolate Crémeux and Mexican coffee next to the fire pit.

Hugs and smiles from a Northern California girl




Oh my! Even better! I won't miss the next one. I will bring Danielle and the wine.  Laurie and Michelle will probably beat us there. You know how good Laurie is with those backroads.

BTW, lovely picture of you and Laurie. Did Laurie run the 10K with you?

Hugs everyone!
Donica.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 08, 2018, 04:29:50 pm
@Donica @Laurie

Oh my! Even better! I won't miss the next one. I will bring Danielle and the wine.  Laurie and Michelle will probably beat us there. You know how good Laurie is with those backroads.

BTW, lovely picture of you and Laurie. Did Laurie run the 10K with you?

Hugs everyone!
Donica.

Laurie is my pace setter, but her busy schedule left only after noon free. 
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on October 09, 2018, 03:59:23 am
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181007/24bee5ef94444679e5de9d05f08e489e.jpg)

@Alaskan Danielle @Donica @Laurie

We waited for everyone to show up for the BBQ.......again.
Second time that has happened...Danielle???  Donica???

Oh and sorry Danielle, I don’t like running with my phone so no selfies!  I hope for good shots from the race organizers.
I was a lone runner today since the gal pal that was joining me, had a sick child.
Ran an unofficial 75 min 10k, about 25 mins slower than my fastest.  Again though I did not want to place in the women’s age group I was in.  Final results aren’t in yet, but I was not in the top three.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hi Jess

Just catching up on your thread...you two look like you are up to no good at all... :D

Well done just for finishing I doubt I could especially not running you must be super fit.

Take care
Liz

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on October 09, 2018, 09:41:28 am
Jess it seems like you had fun with Laurie! Glad to hear it :)
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 09, 2018, 05:49:34 pm
So friends, I’ve shed a few tears lately. 
My fifth electrolysis session made me cry.
My close friend that I run with is also close to my wife.  She is afraid of getting in the middle of things between my wife and I and has called off any friendship with Jessica until we work things out.  That made me cry.
To make matters worse my wife’s first group session was canceled without notice. That made me cry.
My appointment with the ENT proved out that I needed a biopsy from the growth on my right vocal cord.  That made me cry.

This is Jess’s Mess 🤦‍♀️
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on October 09, 2018, 06:08:43 pm
So friends, I’ve shed a few tears lately. 
My fifth electrolysis session made me cry.
My close friend that I run with is also close to my wife.  She is afraid of getting in the middle of things between my wife and I and has called off any friendship with Jessica until we work things out.  That made me cry.
To make matters worse my wife’s first group session was canceled without notice. That made me cry.
My appointment with the ENT proved out that I needed a biopsy from the growth on my right vocal cord.  That made me cry.

This is Jess’s Mess 🤦‍♀️

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Now you have me crying...   I am so sorry about the issues that you mentioned. 
>The hair removal sessions can be painful but you do know that they will end well and for your benefit.
>You have mentioned your running friend many times before and I thought you, her and your wife all were aware of each other and got along very well.
>Hopefully your wife's group session is not permanently cancelled and will be rescheduled.
>Oh, and the biopisi of your vocal chord...  I am going to pray for a good outcome for you and for your doctor.

These difficult issues will pass and hopefully be resolved...  hope springs eternal... think positive about all of the future outcomes....  easier said than done for sure.

For right now, Chocolate may be a good therapy and treatment for you while all of this is fresh on your mind.

Hugs and more tight hugs and bigger hugs,

Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 09, 2018, 08:01:59 pm
@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Now you have me crying...   I am so sorry about the issues that you mentioned. 
>The hair removal sessions can be painful but you do know that they will end well and for your benefit.
>You have mentioned your running friend many times before and I thought you, her and your wife all were aware of each other and got along very well.
>Hopefully your wife's group session is not permanently cancelled and will be rescheduled.
>Oh, and the biopisi of your vocal chord...  I am going to pray for a good outcome for you and for your doctor.

These difficult issues will pass and hopefully be resolved...  hope springs eternal... think positive about all of the future outcomes....  easier said than done for sure.

For right now, Chocolate may be a good therapy and treatment for you while all of this is fresh on your mind.

Hugs and more tight hugs and bigger hugs,

Danielle

Thank you Danielle 💕💕 
My electrolysis session was actually after my friend requesting a break (which put me in a bit of an emotional state causing more awareness to the pain of ⚡️) until my wife can become in tune with her feelings.  She is a good friend to her and I don’t begrudge her at all.  I don’t know how this will affect our in general relationship....  I see it as a bit of a crushing challenge.

The group sessions are twice a month and she is able to go to the next in two weeks.  I am breaking ice with her.  Today at my ENT appointment the medical personnel addressed me as Jess, my preferred name on record.  She had never heard that from someone else.  I asked her a week or so ago “what will work for you?”  She of course is not sure.  I then turned the question back on me, and after reflection we shared some of our thoughts.  We both agree that couples therapy will be beneficial.  Unfortunately that is not covered through my health plan.  I can get all the therapy, medications, surgeries to become a woman, but they won’t lift a finger to have therapy where you can have a mediated discussion to save a relationship.....Thrive much?

My my right vocal fold looks battered and worn.  That’s not what the doc thinks though.  She thinks it is something, something keratosis, an increase growth of tissue and not cancerous.  Part of that conclusion was based on my voice is relatively strong/clear, and a soft/gravelly voice is more of an indication of cancer.  But of course, they have to check.  I’m terrified of general anesthesia, and that’s the only way to subdue the gag reflex.  My surgeon says that if she feels it necessary will remove all of the excess tissue.  I will need to follow a much abbreviated recovery much like voice surgery.  For a few weeks to a month is what it may take, afterwhich hopefully will allow me to work on my real voice.

Thank you again dear friend 🌸🌸🌸
Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on October 10, 2018, 12:34:57 am
@Jessica

I’ve been out all afternoon to do a tech presentation up in Benicia and am just getting caught up. 

Kaiser sort of stinks at couples care, especially in this area.  I was able to do this by arranging individual sessions for myself, and then convincing my therapist to speak with my spouse for some sessions.  I brought my spouse in for one session, but they had issues with how the therapist interacted with them and refused to return for more sessions.

I can’t help but wonder if your surgeon would consider doing some form of VFS as part of the procedure on your damaged vocal fold.  If nothing else, once you can talk following the enforced silent period, you have a great excuse to talk only in your feminine ‘head’ voice.  This is the fastest way to develop voice properly, without the back and forth that retains a male voice as your default voice.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on October 10, 2018, 03:19:50 am
So friends, I’ve shed a few tears lately. 
My fifth electrolysis session made me cry.
My close friend that I run with is also close to my wife.  She is afraid of getting in the middle of things between my wife and I and has called off any friendship with Jessica until we work things out.  That made me cry.
To make matters worse my wife’s first group session was canceled without notice. That made me cry.
My appointment with the ENT proved out that I needed a biopsy from the growth on my right vocal cord.  That made me cry.

This is Jess’s Mess

Oh Jess that is a really tough break.

It is sad to lose friends any time and I hope you are able to sort this out with her and try and restore the friendship.

I am guessing the session that got cancelled could have made a real difference for your wife, as my Mum was prone to say "it never rains it just pours down"

I can only guess at how you must be feeling about your vocal chords. I am sending you a big aussie hug which I hope in some small way makes you smile if only for the moment. You are strong woman and you have some great support around you, to help you during this time. I am thinking of you hope tomorrow is a better day and you don't have to cry.

Take care

Liz
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Faith on October 10, 2018, 06:43:32 am
So friends, I’ve shed a few tears lately. 
My fifth electrolysis session made me cry.
My close friend that I run with is also close to my wife.  She is afraid of getting in the middle of things between my wife and I and has called off any friendship with Jessica until we work things out.  That made me cry.
To make matters worse my wife’s first group session was canceled without notice. That made me cry.
My appointment with the ENT proved out that I needed a biopsy from the growth on my right vocal cord.  That made me cry.

This is Jess’s Mess 🤦‍♀️

I did not read much of the forums yesterday and missed this.

I am so sorry that you're going through this.  I hope today brings some balancing 'ups' for you to work with.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on October 10, 2018, 07:19:42 am
Dear Jess, I hope you are feeling better today. I don't know what to do about your wife's therapy? It doesn't make mush sense that they cover so many other things but not you and your wife's needs.

It would be nice as Nichelle asked, if your doctor may remove some of the tissue from your vocal fold, why not include it with your VFS? I'm not sure how that would work?

Warm hugs Jess!
Donica.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Kirsteneklund7 on October 11, 2018, 06:12:25 pm
So friends, I’ve shed a few tears lately. 
My fifth electrolysis session made me cry.
My close friend that I run with is also close to my wife.  She is afraid of getting in the middle of things between my wife and I and has called off any friendship with Jessica until we work things out.  That made me cry.
To make matters worse my wife’s first group session was canceled without notice. That made me cry.
My appointment with the ENT proved out that I needed a biopsy from the growth on my right vocal cord.  That made me cry.

This is Jess’s Mess 🤦‍♀️


  I just want to send a big Aussie hug as well. Your post really got me thinking for a couple of days. Allowing our feminine self to show does hurt at times. The highs are higher and the lows are lower- things that really cut deep are our relationships with our loved ones and close friends. Also all the dramas seem to come at once.

 I dont envy how you have been feeling - I know its painful.

 Its clear you care deeply for your wife and friends. you are all decent caring people.

 Just want to say my thoughts are with you all & I'm sure plugging away steadily will see things work out very well.

 I'm looking forward to seeing your naturally positive/ buoyant self out there again.

  Big fat hugs, Kirsten.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 11, 2018, 08:42:08 pm
@Alaskan Danielle @Michelle_P @LizK @Faith @Donica @Kirsteneklund7 @Charlie Nicki
Thank you all for the well wishes 🌸🌸🌸
I am approaching a juncture in my transition.  My wife is finally breaking out of her dome of silence. Unfortunately her comments have me questioning if she will ever be on board.  Whether or not I’m able to continue my path and create a comfortable situation with my wife is up in the air.  She says she wants to stay together but is still ambivalent whether she can handle it all. 
Do I acquiescence and live two separate realities keeping both sides of me sated but disjointed, abandon my quest, or move on.  Very tough decisions.  We have been together for 38 years and we do love each other dearly.  She has a rescheduled group therapy appointment in less than 2 weeks, my individual session is a few days later.  We both recognize that couples counseling would be helpful and are seeking a therapist.

My dear friend that abandoned Jessica has done just that, I am crushed.

My upcoming surgery on my vocal cord has me concerned on a major front.  The ability to clear my throat as often as I need will be curtailed to zilch.  This will cause untold stress on me.

Hugs, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on October 11, 2018, 09:14:38 pm
@Alaskan Danielle @Michelle_P @LizK @Faith @Donica @Kirsteneklund7 @Charlie Nicki
Thank you all for the well wishes 🌸🌸🌸
I am approaching a juncture in my transition.  My wife is finally breaking out of her dome of silence. Unfortunately her comments have me questioning if she will ever be on board.  Whether or not I’m able to continue my path and create a comfortable situation with my wife is up in the air.  She says she wants to stay together but is still ambivalent whether she can handle it all. 
Do I acquiescence and live two separate realities keeping both sides of me sated but disjointed, abandon my quest, or move on.  Very tough decisions.  We have been together for 38 years and we do love each other dearly.  She has a rescheduled group therapy appointment in less than 2 weeks, my individual session is a few days later.  We both recognize that couples counseling would be helpful and are seeking a therapist.

My dear friend that abandoned Jessica has done just that, I am crushed.

My upcoming surgery on my vocal cord has me concerned on a major front.  The ability to clear my throat as often as I need will be curtailed to zilch.  This will cause untold stress on me.

Hugs, Jess
@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I really do not have any words for you that will make all of these difficult issues go away and help you to feel better about things.....  my heart goes out to you along with my big hug.
                     that is all I've got..........
            (https://i.imgur.com/8Nqbuug.jpg)
Hugs and wishing you well,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on October 12, 2018, 12:24:04 am
Jess,

  I know this is a difficult time for you. It feels as though everything is coming down all around you. Crumbling and creating distress. But I thinks these issues will eventually resolve themselves. All of them are very important to you and for your well being. I would hate to try to prioritize them, but at the moment I would think the issues with your throat would definitely get my attention. Get that one resolved and then you can continue with your relationship with your wife. That one is a very important one too. Your girl friend will be there albeit trying to be neutral but I am sure she hasn't forsaken you or your wife. She just doesn't want to be in the middle and forced to make a choice.
  Hey Sis, hang in there and let things get better.

Hugs & Love,
   Laurie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Charlie Nicki on October 12, 2018, 10:30:41 am
Jess I just caught up with your thread. I'm sorry you're going through a hard time, I'll text you ASAP.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: KathyLauren on October 12, 2018, 10:55:48 am
Jessica, I am sorry that you are feeling a triple-whammy of stress.  Only you know the best course for yourself.  I hope things get easier for you.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 12, 2018, 02:58:04 pm
@Alaskan Danielle @Laurie @Charlie Nicki @KathyLauren

Thank you all for your concern 🌸🌸🌸

My main stressor in my life is surprisingly not being born a cis-woman instead of cis-male, it’s not being able to breathe....go figure.
I have had multiple episodes where this has manifested itself upon me.
Last one was last night.
Terrifying!
There has been no diagnosis of why.
At my voice therapy consult, they saw what might be the reason.
An abnormality on my right vocal cord.
They looked closely but were inconclusive in any cause.
I have my theory on why and I’ve shared it.
Last night may prove me out.  The doctor is going to have another look see.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Kendra on October 12, 2018, 03:05:51 pm
Jess here's a big hug.  Medical issues cannot be ignored and you're doing the right thing - tackling everything directly and carefully although it can at times seem overwhelming. 
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 12, 2018, 03:13:24 pm
@Kendra

Jess here's a big hug.  Medical issues cannot be ignored and you're doing the right thing - tackling everything directly and carefully although it can at times seem overwhelming.

Thank you Kendra, I appreciate this from you.  You are so brave.  Your recent objectives have always been met full force, straight on, but never haphazard and I admire you for it.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on October 12, 2018, 03:17:51 pm
I hope everything goes well for you Jessica! I know how alarming not being able to breathe can be. I have battled with Asthma for most of my life. As you mentioned something about extra tissue on one side of your vocal cords, hopefully your doctor can get a better look at it this time.

Warm hugs! Stay positive!
Donica.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: davina61 on October 12, 2018, 04:35:38 pm
Made me emotional reading this so best wishes and a giant hug dear.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on October 12, 2018, 05:11:09 pm

My dear friend that abandoned Jessica has done just that, I am crushed.

My upcoming surgery on my vocal cord has me concerned on a major front.  The ability to clear my throat as often as I need will be curtailed to zilch.  This will cause untold stress on me.

Hugs, Jess


Hi Jess

Feeling abandoned by a good friend is a horrible way to feel. It makes us second guess all our relationships

"Well if that person could do it to me then anyone could", suddenly that solid ground you thought you were on can now feel a bit shaky.

I hope you and your wife are able to sort this out and be able to move on together. Take care of yourself Jess and know that we are here for you.


My thoughts are with you both.
Liz
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 12, 2018, 09:37:37 pm
@Donica @davina61 @LizK

I hope everything goes well for you Jessica! I know how alarming not being able to breathe can be. I have battled with Asthma for most of my life. As you mentioned something about extra tissue on one side of your vocal cords, hopefully your doctor can get a better look at it this time.

Warm hugs! Stay positive!
Donica.

Donica, I know personally through my son the hardships of asthma.  I remember the terror in his eyes rushing him to the hospital for a breathing treatment.


Made me emotional reading this so best wishes and a giant hug dear.

Thank you dearly, I need the hugs!



Hi Jess

Feeling abandoned by a good friend is a horrible way to feel. It makes us second guess all our relationships

"Well if that person could do it to me then anyone could", suddenly that solid ground you thought you were on can now feel a bit shaky.

I hope you and your wife are able to sort this out and be able to move on together. Take care of yourself Jess and know that we are here for you.


My thoughts are with you both.
Liz

You have said this so well, and it’s so true.
I definitely feel the love sent to me from everyone here.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 13, 2018, 04:44:14 pm
Smile! 🌸🌸🌸
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on October 13, 2018, 05:10:10 pm
Smile! 🌸🌸🌸

@Jessica:
Yes indeed Jess..... smiling is good medicine and makes everyone that sees you just a little happie.,
 I love your new Avatar/Profile picture... your hair looks terrific...
....and your great big beautiful smile :)

I trust that today is a better day for you?  ???
Hugs and as always well wishes,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 13, 2018, 09:14:48 pm
@Alaskan Danielle  @Laurie @Michelle_P

@Jessica:
Yes indeed Jess..... smiling is good medicine and makes everyone that sees you just a little happie.,
 I love your new Avatar/Profile picture... your hair looks terrific...
....and your great big beautiful smile :)

I trust that today is a better day for you?  ???
Hugs and as always well wishes,
Danielle

Today was spent centering myself with my two sisters Laurie and Michelle.
I needed reflection and confidence garnered from these two powerful women.
I see their strength through their forthright resolve.  Both of these women are as different from each other as they are the same.  Each have their own set of life rules, that somehow compliment one another. 
They have love that they express unabashedly.
I do think it’s sweet.

Am I happier, yes!  On all of my troubled fronts there is a positive ring to it.
I am still hopeful for the future. 🌸🌸🌸

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on October 13, 2018, 09:33:37 pm
@Alaskan Danielle  @Laurie @Michelle_P

Today was spent centering myself with my two sisters Laurie and Michelle.
I needed reflection and confidence garnered from these two powerful women.
I see their strength through their forthright resolve.  Both of these women are as different from each other as they are the same.  Each have their own set of life rules, that somehow compliment one another. 
They have love that they express unabashedly.
I do think it’s sweet.

Am I happier, yes!  On all of my troubled fronts there is a positive ring to it.
I am still hopeful for the future.
🌸🌸🌸

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

@Jessica
Dear Jess: 
I am so glad that you had your very good friends @Michelle_P and @Laurie at your side and with you today.  I can certainly understand that they can be a big help to you as a sister in need.  I follow both of their threads with great interest and I garner a wealth of insight as their comments are exchanged...  they both are glass half full people... the best kind of people to surround yourself with.

Continue on, not dwelling on problems and instead pondering for positive solutions not only put you in a better frame of mind but also is a lot less stressful.

Hugs and praying for good outcomes for you on all that you are dealing with in your life.
Danielle
.... 
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on October 14, 2018, 01:05:52 am
@Alaskan Danielle  @Laurie @Michelle_P

Today was spent centering myself with my two sisters Laurie and Michelle.
I needed reflection and confidence garnered from these two powerful women.
I see their strength through their forthright resolve.  Both of these women are as different from each other as they are the same.  Each have their own set of life rules, that somehow compliment one another. 
They have love that they express unabashedly.
I do think it’s sweet.

Am I happier, yes!  On all of my troubled fronts there is a positive ring to it.
I am still hopeful for the future. 🌸🌸🌸

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
@Jessica
Dear Jess: 
I am so glad that you had your very good friends @Michelle_P and @Laurie at your side and with you today.  I can certainly understand that they can be a big help to you as a sister in need.  I follow both of their threads with great interest and I garner a wealth of insight as their comments are exchanged...  they both are glass half full people... the best kind of people to surround yourself with.

Continue on, not dwelling on problems and instead pondering for positive solutions not only put you in a better frame of mind but also is a lot less stressful.

Hugs and praying for good outcomes for you on all that you are dealing with in your life.
Danielle
.... 

  Oh my gosh such fibs being told by these two friends.

First Jess..
  Powerful women? .. Strength through forthright resolve?... Well she's could be right about one of us...
  Different? - Yes... Same? - No
  They have love that they express unabashedly.? - Okay she got one right.

And now Danielle..
  they both are glass half full people... Wrong! Okay maybe Michelle is but for me the darned glass is empty again! (I was thirsty)

 And to both of them I'm MeanRotten.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Faith on October 14, 2018, 06:42:20 am
The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

  Oh my gosh such fibs being told by these two friends.

First Jess..
  Powerful women? .. Strength through forthright resolve?... Well she's could be right about one of us...
  Different? - Yes... Same? - No
  They have love that they express unabashedly.? - Okay she got one right.

And now Danielle..
  they both are glass half full people... Wrong! Okay maybe Michelle is but for me the darned glass is empty again! (I was thirsty)

 And to both of them I'm MeanRotten.

Hugs,
  Laurie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on October 14, 2018, 10:00:37 am
The lady doth protest too much, methinks.


Danielle, Jessica, Laurie and Michelle! All 4 of you ladies and so many more here at Susan's have brought many smiles to my face in good times and bad. I'm glad to know you all.

Methinks so too Faith. Shush Laurie! I can only hope to find a friend like you.

BTW Jess! I love your new avatar.

Hugs ladies!
Donica.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 14, 2018, 01:07:52 pm
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181014/9d5ac5403964a4efdb43992e67d7985a.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181014/b697f8c13aa6f321b71c846183bc8f51.jpg)

Can you tell I’m a California girl

Hugs and smiles


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on October 14, 2018, 02:46:46 pm
@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Nothing makes a girl feel better than getting pampered at a salon...
... Wowzers! ....   getting a Manicure AND A Pedicure !!!!!
That is most certainly a good way to have a good day!!!

Thank you for posting and sharing.
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on October 14, 2018, 02:50:44 pm
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181014/9d5ac5403964a4efdb43992e67d7985a.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181014/b697f8c13aa6f321b71c846183bc8f51.jpg)

Can you tell I’m a California girl

Hugs and smiles


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I love that color Jessica. What color is it? It almost looks like a pearl white?

Donica.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 14, 2018, 03:07:18 pm
@Donica @Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Nothing makes a girl feel better than getting pampered at a salon...
... Wowzers! ....   getting a Manicure AND A Pedicure !!!!!
That is most certainly a good way to have a good day!!!

Thank you for posting and sharing.
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle


Well girlfriend, you know I needed it 💕💕💕💕



I love that color Jessica. What color is it? It almost looks like a pearl white?

Donica.

Thank you Donica, it’s called “Blossom Pink”.  I get builder gel to strengthen my nails, they lasted 5 weeks till I needed them filled.  With the builder gel, the polish is removed when they shape (think Drexel) it each time.  This is a good way to avoid the chemicals that are needed to remove it otherwise.
You can remove it though, without it removing the builder gel, and put another color on.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on October 14, 2018, 06:56:50 pm

Can you tell I’m a California girl

Hugs and smiles

Good for you!  A mani/pedi can be just the thing to improve a mood.  Nice color, too. But you knew that...

Hugs,
Michelle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 15, 2018, 10:08:02 am
My first avatar was made off of FaceApp.  It gave me confidence to believe I could pass at some point.
I have been using my true self pics exclusively for a while.
I revisited FaceApp to give another look see. 

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181015/d6f0a2b9408085310ac3608c4a276ec2.jpg)

Plumper cheeks, shaped brows with wide open eyes are the only major changes that I see.
Any comments from the peanut gallery?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on October 15, 2018, 10:19:03 am
My first avatar was made off of FaceApp.  It gave me confidence to believe I could pass at some point.
I have been using my true self pics exclusively for a while.
I revisited FaceApp to give another look see. 

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181015/d6f0a2b9408085310ac3608c4a276ec2.jpg)

Plumper cheeks, shaped brows with wide open eyes are the only major changes that I see.
Any thought from the peanut gallery?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Wow-zers ... terrific photos...
...you look beautiful in BOTH photos...

BUT PLEASE KNOW... Jess....
that you do not need FaceApp to look beautiful...

I have been following your thread and various photos since early this year about 10 months ago and I have always felt that you are presenting very well as a female, particularly in this last few months... your HRT,  and other cosmetic enhancements, are obviously doing their job.
 
OH, and your new hair style is certainly ultra-feminine !!!!!  Nicely done... and of course your mani/pedi that you just had done looks wonderful.
 
In my opinion you have nothing to be concerned about being able to continue in your journey and to eventually pass convincingly.

Thank you for sharing and posting on your thread.... your thread is always one of my first stops here on the Forums when I log in....  I am your avid follower and one of your biggest fans.
Hugs and hugs 
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on October 15, 2018, 10:46:59 am
New hair style? Hmmmmm did you do something with your hair? I hadn't noticed.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 15, 2018, 10:56:19 am
@Laurie @Alaskan Danielle @Michelle_P @Jayne01

New hair style? Hmmmmm did you do something with your hair? I hadn't noticed.

Everyone must be told... when I said “only my hairdresser knows for sure” in Jayne’s thread.  I was speaking of my dear friend Laurie.  She took me aside and said “listen girl, you’re parting your hair on the wrong side!  She fixed it and it made a huge difference to even my worse critic...myself.
Her advice is always welcome and has helped me immensely, as has Michelle’s!

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on October 15, 2018, 10:59:38 am
Jess, your FaceApp result is interesting, as the algorithm didn’t change much beyond the inevitable brow line and your cheeks.  You are definitely getting there.  The 14 months of HRT have certainly had their effect!

And yes, the new hairstyle is certainly helpful!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on October 15, 2018, 11:14:54 am
@Laurie @Alaskan Danielle @Michelle_P @Jayne01

Everyone must be told... when I said “only my hairdresser knows for sure” in Jayne’s thread.  I was speaking of my dear friend Laurie.  She took me aside and said “listen girl, you’re parting your hair on the wrong side!  She fixed it and it made a huge difference to even my worse critic...myself.
Her advice is always welcome and has helped me immensely, as has Michelle’s!

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

 Little things can make a big difference.  You won't know what effect something can have until you try it out.

Hugs,
  Laurie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on October 16, 2018, 09:16:19 am
@Laurie @Alaskan Danielle @Michelle_P @Jayne01

Everyone must be told... when I said “only my hairdresser knows for sure” in Jayne’s thread.  I was speaking of my dear friend Laurie.  She took me aside and said “listen girl, you’re parting your hair on the wrong side!  She fixed it and it made a huge difference to even my worse critic...myself.
Her advice is always welcome and has helped me immensely, as has Michelle’s!

Hugs and smiles from a California girl


Wait! What? What do you your parting your hair on the wrong side? Jess parts her hair on the right side? As do I? OMG, am I parting my hair on the wrong side or is this just a YHMV thing?
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 16, 2018, 09:59:58 am
@Donica @Laurie

Wait! What? What do you your parting your hair on the wrong side? Jess parts her hair on the right side? As do I? OMG, am I parting my hair on the wrong side or is this just a YHMV thing?

It was actually a mistake on my part.  Before “Jess” my hair was always parted near center or on the left.  In my previous avatar my hair was parted on the right, as is my newest.  Laurie styled my hair last time, but with learning so much, it’s the practice that makes it right.  My hairdresser was the first to tell me my part was on the wrong side, not for the reason Laurie thought, but because my part is naturally on the other side.  I just didn’t realize it.
Laurie was telling me that women primarily part their hair on the right, men on the left.  So again, society dictated that I be unnatural to myself.
My hair is getting longer.  Laurie says it’s growing like a weed. 

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on October 16, 2018, 10:40:34 am
Ok, I got it. I have a nasty colic on my left side. I look like Dennis The Menace when my hair is short. So many women news anchors part their hair on different sides.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 19, 2018, 10:57:27 am
On my way to see Laurie and Tessa

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181019/5c5f703ffbf903850b1fb78ce09e4282.jpg)


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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on October 19, 2018, 11:06:52 am
Have a safe trip. Remember, pictures or it didn't happen!

Donica.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on October 19, 2018, 11:42:30 am
On my way to see Laurie and Tessa

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181019/5c5f703ffbf903850b1fb78ce09e4282.jpg)


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@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Please drive safely....  I trust that you will enjoy your visit.
...How how long will you be there????

Oh, and (water?) tanks on the back of your truck for getting some nice and fresh Northwest water while there???
At over 8 pounds per gallon of water make sure that the rear tires of your truck are well inflated!!!

I will be eagerly looking for your updates and as @Donica mentioned.... PICTURES !!!!
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on October 19, 2018, 01:00:39 pm
 Oh Nooooo She is coming here???? I suppose she will want to be fed and a place to lay her head. Perhaps I'll lock the doors and turn out the lights.

  Oh what the hell I'll just welcome her with open arms and treat her nice while she is here.

Hugs,
  Laurie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on October 19, 2018, 01:59:28 pm
Oh Nooooo She is coming here???? I suppose she will want to be fed and a place to lay her head. Perhaps I'll lock the doors and turn out the lights.

  Oh what the hell I'll just welcome her with open arms and treat her nice while she is here.

Hugs,
  Laurie

And then talk smack on her when she leaves.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on October 19, 2018, 02:09:53 pm
Oh Nooooo She is coming here???? I suppose she will want to be fed and a place to lay her head. Perhaps I'll lock the doors and turn out the lights.

  Oh what the hell I'll just welcome her with open arms and treat her nice while she is here.

Hugs,
  Laurie

That a girl!!! No MeanRotten's here. Well,,,,, ok, maybe?
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on October 19, 2018, 02:17:38 pm
And then talk smack on her when she leaves.

 Sssshhhhhhhhhh
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 19, 2018, 03:08:02 pm
I’m listening
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on October 19, 2018, 03:28:10 pm
I’m listening

Dang! Did I say that out loud?
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on October 19, 2018, 03:30:46 pm
You've been outed. Haha!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on October 19, 2018, 03:31:56 pm
You've been outed. Haha!

Pffft. Not the first time...


Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 19, 2018, 03:36:16 pm
Potty break

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181019/10c1de78b9bf9a3b409f3e1bbd32700f.jpg)


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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on October 19, 2018, 03:37:27 pm
Potty break

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181019/10c1de78b9bf9a3b409f3e1bbd32700f.jpg)

Holy smokes! You need to back off on the spiro if you’re gonna fill those!


Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on October 19, 2018, 03:41:47 pm
Wait,,, was that a pun? That sounded like a pun?
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Kendra on October 19, 2018, 04:20:43 pm
Yep that was from the whiz kid.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on October 19, 2018, 04:32:09 pm
Hey Jess

Just managed to catch up on your thread after spending the week in anxiety city. LOL I have enjoyed reading all the back and fourths between you all.


I read you post about your wife and understand the trepidation when after all this silence they begin to voice how they feel. This can be a scary moment especially if you are unsure of which way it will go. I can see you are getting great practical support from Laurie and Michelle, as the saying goes "You don't know what you don't know!"


Yep that was from the whiz kid.

 ;D ;D

Take care

Liz 
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 19, 2018, 04:37:50 pm
Took a catnap after the potty break.
My eyes needed to shut for a bit. 
Been driving since 4:30 am PST

Now a small stroll and then back on the road for another hour and a half till I get to Laurie’s.

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on October 19, 2018, 05:10:24 pm
Be safe Jess!
Took a catnap after the potty break.
My eyes needed to shut for a bit. 
Been driving since 4:30 am PST

Now a small stroll and then back on the road for another hour and a half till I get to Laurie’s.

Sent from my XT1585 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on October 19, 2018, 05:48:43 pm
Be sure to give Laurie a big hug for me!

And don’t let her talk you into loaning her your tummy!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on October 19, 2018, 05:58:59 pm
Be sure to give Laurie a big hug for me!

And don’t let her talk you into loaning her your tummy!
Lol, oh dear lord, why not? A warm tummy is a happy tummy.

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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 19, 2018, 06:52:51 pm
Lol, oh dear lord, why not? A warm tummy is a happy tummy.

Sent from my XT1585 using Tapatalk

She wants to use it as a pin cushion!
And me....a needlephobe!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 19, 2018, 07:09:15 pm
Thanks for the antics here....

I have arrived at Laurie’s and gave her hugs from all, but especially Michelle!
She is preparing tacos for her two sisters here.  Karen says hurry up!

Tomorrow the thought is that Laurie and I may head to Tessa’s home and deliver the last two water tanks. 
But you know Laurie with
Possible
Language
About
Next future days

(Thankfully she stores pasta on her fridge, I won’t be able to fit.  Freezers don’t count do they?)

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on October 19, 2018, 08:46:46 pm
Thanks for the antics here....

I have arrived at Laurie’s and gave her hugs from all, but especially Michelle!
She is preparing tacos for her two sisters here.  Karen says hurry up!

Tomorrow the thought is that Laurie and I may head to Tessa’s home and deliver the last two water tanks. 
But you know Laurie with
Possible
Language
About
Next future days

(Thankfully she stores pasta on her fridge, I won’t be able to fit.  Freezers don’t count do they?)

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Glad you made it safely. No, not hugs. Give her some big wet ones. Too much? Sorry, I've had a glass of wine. Ok, what ever.

Sent from my XT1585 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on October 19, 2018, 09:06:09 pm



                      *sigh*
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on October 19, 2018, 09:15:12 pm


                      *sigh*

You keep saying that word.  I do not think it means what you think it means.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 19, 2018, 10:16:46 pm
@LizK

Hey Jess

Just managed to catch up on your thread after spending the week in anxiety city. LOL I have enjoyed reading all the back and fourths between you all.


I read you post about your wife and understand the trepidation when after all this silence they begin to voice how they feel. This can be a scary moment especially if you are unsure of which way it will go. I can see you are getting great practical support from Laurie and Michelle, as the saying goes "You don't know what you don't know!"


 ;D ;D

Take care

Liz

Yes Liz, this is new territory and it is scary.  We both need to be honest to each other when expressing our wants and needs.
As far as particular topic, Laurie and Michelle have painted the possibility of a poor outcome.
I personally am holding out for a loving prospect between my wife and I.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 19, 2018, 10:26:49 pm
@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Please drive safely....  I trust that you will enjoy your visit.
...How how long will you be there????

Oh, and (water?) tanks on the back of your truck for getting some nice and fresh Northwest water while there???
At over 8 pounds per gallon of water make sure that the rear tires of your truck are well inflated!!!

I will be eagerly looking for your updates and as @Donica mentioned.... PICTURES !!!!
Hugs,
Danielle

Danielle, my
Present
Length
Around
Northern Oregon
is tentatively set till Monday.

As much as we need water down south, I won’t be bringing back 4,400 lbs. of water.
In total Tessa will be gaining nearly storage for 1000gallons.  The amount of rain here in Oregon is a bit more regular than in California.  So they are better suited here.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on October 20, 2018, 01:40:20 am
@LizK

Yes Liz, this is new territory and it is scary.  We both need to be honest to each other when expressing our wants and needs.
As far as particular topic, Laurie and Michelle have painted the possibility of a poor outcome.
I personally am holding out for a loving prospect between my wife and I.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

Oh Jess its such an awful position to find yourself in, my heart goes out to you both because I doubt your wife is any happier about it than you are. You have talked extensively with the other gals and they have far more info than I have about your situation but I want to say to you that, it doesn't have to go badly. Much will depend on how your wife feels about being in a relationship with you and not him...My wife has still not told her work colleagues for fear of being singled out as "different". I do understand the practical reality that Laurie and Michelle both talk about.

I hope it works out for you
Take care

Liz
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Kirsteneklund7 on October 20, 2018, 02:48:55 am
@LizK

Yes Liz, this is new territory and it is scary.  We both need to be honest to each other when expressing our wants and needs.
As far as particular topic, Laurie and Michelle have painted the possibility of a poor outcome.
I personally am holding out for a loving prospect between my wife and I.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
I really hope things work out. I walk the tightrope every week with my marriage. Following your posts and wishing you the very best.
               Kirsten.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: RandyL on October 20, 2018, 09:50:18 am
Hi Jess, I hear you in your concern about your marriage. My wife and I have been through two years of "interesting " times and I wouldn't say it's over. But we are both feeling much more positive at the conclusion of a 3 month separation and having worked out some decent compromises. Communication should help, but I get that it can be scary, what is said. I hope for the best for you both!

Sent from my Victor 9000 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 20, 2018, 03:41:06 pm
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181020/eca7d859ea5849c3eb2aef23ff7b5582.jpg)


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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on October 20, 2018, 04:55:46 pm
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181020/eca7d859ea5849c3eb2aef23ff7b5582.jpg)


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Double trouble!!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on October 20, 2018, 05:15:31 pm
There's a lovely picture!
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181020/eca7d859ea5849c3eb2aef23ff7b5582.jpg)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 20, 2018, 05:27:10 pm
In Tillamook at the cheese factory!
Laurie tried deep fried cheese curds!

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181020/207fb275883aa663bb5c8b5d90164d13.jpg)


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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: RandyL on October 20, 2018, 06:02:02 pm
Well at least neither of you is having any fun  >:-)

In Tillamook at the cheese factory!
Laurie tried deep fried cheese curds!

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181020/207fb275883aa663bb5c8b5d90164d13.jpg)


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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 20, 2018, 10:49:26 pm
@LizK @Kirsteneklund7 @RandyL

Hi Jess, I hear you in your concern about your marriage. My wife and I have been through two years of "interesting " times and I wouldn't say it's over. But we are both feeling much more positive at the conclusion of a 3 month separation and having worked out some decent compromises. Communication should help, but I get that it can be scary, what is said. I hope for the best for you both!

Sent from my Victor 9000 using Tapatalk


I really hope things work out. I walk the tightrope every week with my marriage. Following your posts and wishing you the very best.
               Kirsten.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk


Oh Jess its such an awful position to find yourself in, my heart goes out to you both because I doubt your wife is any happier about it than you are. You have talked extensively with the other gals and they have far more info than I have about your situation but I want to say to you that, it doesn't have to go badly. Much will depend on how your wife feels about being in a relationship with you and not him...My wife has still not told her work colleagues for fear of being singled out as "different". I do understand the practical reality that Laurie and Michelle both talk about.

I hope it works out for you
Take care

Liz



Thank you for your heartfelt comments and concern.  I am being positive about it all and actually believe we will work it out.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 20, 2018, 10:50:24 pm
@Laurie @RandyL @LizK @Donica

There's a lovely picture!
Sent from my XT1585 using Tapatalk


Thank you Donica, I like it too 🌸🌸🌸


Double trouble!!

Watch out for the transdynamic duo sisters!

Well at least neither of you is having any fun  >:-)


In truth Laurie and I had a very nice day together.  I am personally becoming very comfortable publicly presenting.  The common interactions with other folks out and about are always cordial w/o discriminations.  I especially find talking to other women very easy and received well by them, males are their typical aloofness w/o bringing anything to issue.

Laurie pushed me to my limit in other respects though.  She knows I appreciate fluid structure and put me in situations where I needed to work through being absent of it.  She also knows my fear triggers and employs them to wake me up.  Aren’t sisters wonderful!?!

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 21, 2018, 12:14:51 am
Laurie and I had a late lunch and missed having Tillamook ice cream for dessert afterwards.  We were watching our girlish figures.
So Laurie made this for dinner for us.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181021/c0e159027b636f967f69ce50e112d47e.jpg)

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181021/4248ec296c5598b1981a3235434a7d62.jpg)

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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on October 21, 2018, 01:19:22 am
Dinner:  Eat dessert first! 

Great wisdom there...
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 21, 2018, 09:58:11 am
Dinner:  Eat dessert first! 

Great wisdom there...

Or, if your still sated from lunch, dessert is dinner!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on October 21, 2018, 11:57:37 am
Laurie, I noticed the fishing poles in the background. I'm guessing the Bass fishing sucks up there but I'm betting the Trout, Walleye, Pike and Striped Bass fishing is great. Are you ladies up for some Sunday morning fishing? A big fat German Brown would cook up great on the BBQ for tonight's dinner. I forgot when the Salmon start to run? Yum! Smoked Salmon.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Dietlind on October 22, 2018, 01:52:24 pm
Good day Ladies

I am new here, and try to inhale all that I can.
It is interesting to read what HRT did to you Jessica.  I am not on any hormones yet, but i have a little head stat because of my androgynous biology.  I do not have any body,hair, no hair on arms legs or under the arms, and I never lost my soft bay skin.  I don't have an Adams Apple and have no receding hair line or bald spots.  And lately, my body decided to grow breasts.  I am now between an A and a B cup.  But I have to fight some things my body decided to be male.  One is the beard growth, moderate but still there, and the other is my chest size (I used to run a lot, and that may have caused a large chest),  Specifically my lowest rib pair is standing out almost as far as my boobs.  Do you have this problem or had it?  What can one do against this?
I will be a rather tall woman (once I done withe the transition), because I am 6'.  And along with that larger build come bigger feet.  My shoe size is 11 1/2 with a wide toe box.  Where in the world can one find dainty ladies shoes for that size?

I still have to learn a lot, and you girls have to help me along, pretty please!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: JudiBlueEyes on October 22, 2018, 08:18:46 pm
Jess I'm sorry to read about your marriage whoa's but keep an open mind and open dialogue, and I believe you will make it to the other side all right.  Its worked for my wife and I.  Its a tough road we're on and it can often trigger other questions in our and our spouses minds about the direction we're on, collectively and on our own.  Hang in there. 

Also it does look like you had a great time with Laurie.  Wonderful!
Judi
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 22, 2018, 09:58:35 pm
@Dietlind

Good day Ladies

I am new here, and try to inhale all that I can.
It is interesting to read what HRT did to you Jessica.  I am not on any hormones yet, but i have a little head stat because of my androgynous biology.  I do not have any body,hair, no hair on arms legs or under the arms, and I never lost my soft bay skin.  I don't have an Adams Apple and have no receding hair line or bald spots.  And lately, my body decided to grow breasts.  I am now between an A and a B cup.  But I have to fight some things my body decided to be male.  One is the beard growth, moderate but still there, and the other is my chest size (I used to run a lot, and that may have caused a large chest),  Specifically my lowest rib pair is standing out almost as far as my boobs.  Do you have this problem or had it?  What can one do against this?
I will be a rather tall woman (once I done withe the transition), because I am 6'.  And along with that larger build come bigger feet.  My shoe size is 11 1/2 with a wide toe box.  Where in the world can one find dainty ladies shoes for that size?

I still have to learn a lot, and you girls have to help me along, pretty please!

I’m glad to help with whatever I can.  As far as my body and how it’s reacted to hrt is totally a ymmv (your mileage may vary) situation.  Everybody is different and genetics plays a big part.
My mother was well endowed both in her hips (butt) and breasts.  I am lucky for that. 
Hopefully you will talk to your doctor about the effects that hrt may have on you.

I have no thought of why your ribs are the way they are, everyone is different.


Tall women are a fact in nature, proof is my wife.  She stands 2” taller than me at 6’.
As far as shoe size, I’m a size 11 men’s or a varied range from size 10-13 women’s.  It is tough finding cute shoes, for sure.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 22, 2018, 10:01:57 pm
@Donica

Laurie, I noticed the fishing poles in the background. I'm guessing the Bass fishing sucks up there but I'm betting the Trout, Walleye, Pike and Striped Bass fishing is great. Are you ladies up for some Sunday morning fishing? A big fat German Brown would cook up great on the BBQ for tonight's dinner. I forgot when the Salmon start to run? Yum! Smoked Salmon.

I have been bugging Laurie to go fishing since I met her.  She is stubborn about paying the high cost of the fishing license.....:sigh:....and the salmon are running right now .......

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 22, 2018, 10:04:51 pm
@JudiBlueEyes

Jess I'm sorry to read about your marriage whoa's but keep an open mind and open dialogue, and I believe you will make it to the other side all right.  Its worked for my wife and I.  Its a tough road we're on and it can often trigger other questions in our and our spouses minds about the direction we're on, collectively and on our own.  Hang in there. 

Also it does look like you had a great time with Laurie.  Wonderful!
Judi

My wife went to her first group therapy for spouses and significant others tonight...she’s on her way home.  We will see how it went soon enough.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on October 22, 2018, 10:09:52 pm
@JudiBlueEyes

My wife went to her first group therapy for spouses and significant others tonight...she’s on her way home.  We will see how it went soon enough.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Great news!   This is a good start for her and for you. 
I am hoping and trusting that good things will be happening between you two and there will be continued progress.

Please forgive me if I am behind the times but have you and her done couples therapy yet?

As always I am wishing you well.
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on October 22, 2018, 10:39:30 pm
Laurie, I noticed the fishing poles in the background. I'm guessing the Bass fishing sucks up there but I'm betting the Trout, Walleye, Pike and Striped Bass fishing is great. Are you ladies up for some Sunday morning fishing? A big fat German Brown would cook up great on the BBQ for tonight's dinner. I forgot when the Salmon start to run? Yum! Smoked Salmon.

@Donica

I have been bugging Laurie to go fishing since I met her.  She is stubborn about paying the high cost of the fishing license.....:sigh:....and the salmon are running right now .......

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

 I no longer fish in Oregon since the license cost + fees have made the cost over $70 for a yearly resident license. In addition it takes a PHD in foreign languages to interpret the excessively complex fishing laws summary which is now around a hundred pages. Even if you could decipher it I still cannot tell if it is legal to catch a certain fish where ever I happen to be fishing.  I finally decided to quite wasting my money. Instead I by a yearly non resident fishing license for Missouri when I visit for $21.00. I usually get at least 3 weeks fishing there a year.

Hugs,
  Laurie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on October 23, 2018, 10:38:50 am
Jessica, I'm glad to hear you and your wife are seeking therapy. I am hopeful that everything will work out for you both. Update us when you feel up to it.

Laurie, I here you. I haven't looked into a fishing license in years. I don't remember SoCal being quite that expensive but close. We also have reg's. Some of the streams down here require barbless hooks and some are even catch and release only. You don't want to be caught not following the rules. The fines are steep.

Hugs ladies,
Donica.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 23, 2018, 05:34:17 pm
Hi friends.....The political threads that have divided many on the site has brought me down.
The feeling of family here has been sullied by the infighting.  As a moderator I enjoyed helping those in need and also steering members in more constructive ways to behave properly on the forums.  The thing I disliked the most is when a member attack’s another member.  Though it’s still not allowed, it is being accomplished by spouting their rhetoric from both sides.

I need to sit down and think......why did this need to happen?
I think the political exchanges have created unseen consequences that may be hard to repair.

Hugs.....Jessica
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on October 23, 2018, 05:40:22 pm
Hi friends.....The political threads that have divided many on the site has brought me down.
The feeling of family here has been sullied by the infighting.  As a moderator I enjoyed helping those in need and also steering members in more constructive ways to behave properly on the forums.  The thing I disliked the most is when a member attack’s another member.  Though it’s still not allowed, it is being accomplished by spouting their rhetoric from both sides.

I need to sit down and think......why did this need to happen?
I think the political exchanges have created unseen consequences that may be hard to repair.

Hugs.....Jessica

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I hear you and agree wholeheartedly with you.  I am steering far away from any political threads and discussions myself.  I am concentrating on encouraging , supporting and welcoming our members in their transition journey... that makes me most happy to be able to do that.

I refuse to get sucked into that political fire-storm... it seems to pit one member against another and that is NOT what the Forums is about...  I envision the Susan's Place Forums as a Friendly, Safe, Happy, and Supportive place for all members here.   I am saddened to see things that are contrary to that.

Stay strong and stay focused on your passion that you enjoy here on the forums... you do such a tremendous job in what you have been doing.
Hugs and hugs to you, my Calfornia-Girl and good friend.
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on October 28, 2018, 04:17:30 am
Hi Jess

I was heartened to hear that your wife has sought some help. I hope you two can make it work.

Unfortunately I think you are right about the political thread I think it has certainly divided not only this place but a whole nation. Hopefully a time will come when this divide is healed...best its sooner.

Take care

Liz
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on October 28, 2018, 09:34:01 am
@Jessica
Dear Jess...
How are things in Northern California for my California Girl sis? ???

I trust that things are going well for you and your wife....   
What interesting things did you do or are doing this weekend?
... and what does next week hold for you?

Curious minds want to know...
I check your thread every time I log in to the Forums ..... 

Hugs and more hugs,
Danielle   NothernStar*Girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 29, 2018, 05:28:12 pm
@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess...
How are things in Northern California for my California Girl sis? ???

I trust that things are going well for you and your wife....   
What interesting things did you do or are doing this weekend?
... and what does next week hold for you?

Curious minds want to know...
I check your thread every time I log in to the Forums ..... 

Hugs and more hugs,
Danielle   NothernStar*Girl

Danielle, I wish I could give a clear picture of my wife and I.  Yes, she did go to therapy, and no she still isn’t communicating except to say she is not a happy camper.  She has given knee jerk parameters to me but in truth she does not know how she feels. 
Even though it has been more than a year, I have to give her the benefit of the doubt and treat her as if it was day one after her group therapy.  We still kiss, hug and say our I love you’s, but it does seem one degree cooler between us.  That may be my insecurities talking though.
This biggest obstacle is her group sessions being twice a month, on a day she only occasionally has off.  Her next projected date is next year....oh joy....
So as I put it to Laurie this morning, “I feel like I’m walking a tightrope while doing the limbo”

I also have a mindful of worries that I would need to PM you about. 
It’s almost Halloween and it has become scary in the world.


My upcoming week will be one of introspection, I will be doing something that I have never done except in guy mode.  I get to put everything together for a trip to Pismo Beach (actually it’s now called Oceano Dunes) near San Luis Obispo.  This is bringing all the gear necessary for a safe 4 nights on the dunes.  Our self contained toyhauler holds the RZR in the back and sleeps eight.  Avoid the high tides and you’ve got a million dollar view!  My wife and a friend (the running gal pal that doesn’t know) will be leaving on Thursday and returning on Monday.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on October 29, 2018, 05:35:16 pm
Halloween 6 years back at Pismo Beach

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181029/f6f32a703dc6ec8e96a8c2bddb51bc78.jpg)


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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on October 29, 2018, 05:44:45 pm
snipped:
@Alaskan Danielle

Danielle, I wish I could give a clear picture of my wife and I.  Yes, she did go to therapy, and no she still isn’t communicating except to say she is not a happy camper.
So as I put it to Laurie this morning, “I feel like I’m walking a tightrope while doing the limbo”

I also have a mindful of worries that I would need to PM you about. 
It’s almost Halloween and it has become scary in the world.


My upcoming week will be one of introspection, I will be doing something that I have never done except in guy mode.

@Jessica
My dear Jess:
I wish that I could wave a magic wand and instantly make all of these issues that you are dealing with just go away.
I am very sad to see that your and your wife are not happy campers together... plus all the other concerns and worries that you have.

Please, you know you are always welcome to PM me about anything at anytime.
For you I always have an ear to listen and a shoulder to lean on.
Please believe me, I am sad when your are not happy.

Hugs and as always I am wishing you well.
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on October 29, 2018, 06:50:44 pm
 Hi Jess,

  I know your current situation because we talked some offline. I am sorry to see these issues in your life and know you feel a need to make some difficult decisions. As I have said before communication is key to a good relationship. Right now you do not have that and I really hope you can foster this with your wife. Know that I support you in whatever you decide and will always be available to you should you need.

Hugs,
   Laurie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on October 30, 2018, 02:59:59 am
@Alaskan Danielle

Danielle, I wish I could give a clear picture of my wife and I.  Yes, she did go to therapy, and no she still isn’t communicating except to say she is not a happy camper.  She has given knee jerk parameters to me but in truth she does not know how she feels. 
Even though it has been more than a year, I have to give her the benefit of the doubt and treat her as if it was day one after her group therapy.  We still kiss, hug and say our I love you’s, but it does seem one degree cooler between us.  That may be my insecurities talking though.
This biggest obstacle is her group sessions being twice a month, on a day she only occasionally has off.  Her next projected date is next year....oh joy....
So as I put it to Laurie this morning, “I feel like I’m walking a tightrope while doing the limbo”

I also have a mindful of worries that I would need to PM you about. 
It’s almost Halloween and it has become scary in the world.


My upcoming week will be one of introspection, I will be doing something that I have never done except in guy mode.  I get to put everything together for a trip to Pismo Beach (actually it’s now called Oceano Dunes) near San Luis Obispo.  This is bringing all the gear necessary for a safe 4 nights on the dunes.  Our self contained toyhauler holds the RZR in the back and sleeps eight.  Avoid the high tides and you’ve got a million dollar view!  My wife and a friend (the running gal pal that doesn’t know) will be leaving on Thursday and returning on Monday.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

Jess I am so sorry to hear of the difficulties you are still having. I wish I was able to help in some way. I understand how tense and difficult things can get when nothing has been settled. I can only imagine how tough it is for both of you.

happy to chat anytime

Take care

Liz


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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on October 30, 2018, 10:31:04 am
Halloween 6 years back at Pismo Beach

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181029/f6f32a703dc6ec8e96a8c2bddb51bc78.jpg)


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I wish I was still flying. My ex and I used to fly to Oceano every other weekend to dip our toes in the sand at the beach. I would have loved to fly up and meet with you guys. Just around the corner from there is a great restaurant called The Spirit of San Luis, on the San Luis Obispo airport grounds. My ex and I used the fly in and get lunch on the off weekends. Check them out! They have burgers and steak fries that are to die for.

Jessica, I'm so glad you and your wife are still hugging and kissing and saying your "I love you's". It sounds like you both still love each other. I sooo hope she just needs time.

Warm hugs girl!
Donica.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 02, 2018, 08:31:10 pm
This is why we live

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181103/63cf0d3998abccebd5af53ec1131b709.jpg)


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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on November 02, 2018, 08:41:45 pm
This is why we live

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181103/63cf0d3998abccebd5af53ec1131b709.jpg)


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Gezzzisss Jessica!!! That's so beautiful. It makes my heart sing too.

Sent from my XT1585 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica_Rose on November 02, 2018, 10:26:02 pm
Hi Jess, this is Jess! I am glad to hear that your wife is trying. My wife Susan and I did not talk about it for months, and even then our relationship was strained right up to the breaking point. Sleeping in separate bedrooms was a common occurrence. Although Susan was interested in group support sessions, it never happened. It took Susan about 18 months before she began to figure it out, including two housecalls from Laurie! Susan is now happier than she has been in years. The only suggestion I have is time and patience. After waiting so many decades to find our path, sometime those two items are in short supply. I wish you all the best.

Love always -- Jessica Rose
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 02, 2018, 10:26:14 pm
The power is in our hands!

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181103/4e592505d879ac2e503e7a41bc81678d.jpg)


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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on November 02, 2018, 11:46:00 pm
@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Thank you for sharing those beautiful sunset pictures with all of your thread followers.
It is nice to see you posting again... you are always missed when you go into silent mode.

Here on the Forums there is always a lot of support for you in your not so good times,
and in your good times with can all share in your happiness.

Hugs and hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on November 02, 2018, 11:50:37 pm
Beautiful beach sunset photos.  Thank you for sharing, and enjoy the starry night!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on November 03, 2018, 09:14:54 pm
This is why we live

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181103/63cf0d3998abccebd5af53ec1131b709.jpg)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hi Jess

Hope things are getting better between you and your wife

Take care
Liz
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 05, 2018, 10:00:06 am
I woke to this. 

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181105/7aace9d715fdf5851108a246a6ddfd42.jpg)


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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on November 05, 2018, 10:20:15 am
@Jessica
Dear Jess:
OK now, you are making us all jealous with your recent pictures...
...great sunrise photo... very beautiful indeed.

Oh, and you changed your Avatar/Profile picture... it is one of my favorites... you look terrific.
Thank you for posting and sharing with your readers and followers.
Hugs and more hugs,
Danielle



I woke to this. 

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181105/7aace9d715fdf5851108a246a6ddfd42.jpg)


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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 05, 2018, 01:05:34 pm
@Alaskan Danielle @LizK @Michelle_P @Donica @Jessica_Rose @Laurie

I’m glad you all have enjoyed the scenes at the beach. 

I may have eluded that my wife wasn’t happy in general when I said she wasn’t a happy camper.  Poor choice of words.
She is happy with our life and our love for each other, but isn’t so keen on overt changes she envisions with me. 
Time will tell what changes are overt and which ones are subtle.  There is a lot of variables in how they are presented.
This last few days have shown me I can be comfortable in my past presentation, without diminishing who I am.  Can I be who my wife is happy with and be happy myself..... to a large degree yes.  I am who I am, and I’ve always have been who I am.  With my meds and my days out with my girlfriends have been adequate so far, so the status quo holds.
I’m 62, married for 37 years to my best friend and my true love with no regrets.
Life is what you make it.
Options were non-existent for transitioning in my early years, and I did my best.
The one thing that set me on the path I’ve been on for more than a year now was the acceptance that society was beginning to show for transgender people.  I have second thoughts if this is a reality.  Fear again has given me pause to present entirely the way I wish.
Reservations abound when revisiting the past, and I’m not speaking of my own, but of societal norms of long ago (though very much alive) regimes that had put extreme pressures on anyone they didn’t like.  Is this happening again?  I pray we are better than that on a whole.  We will see tomorrow.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on November 05, 2018, 11:07:50 pm
@Alaskan Danielle @LizK @Michelle_P @Donica @Jessica_Rose @Laurie

.................
This last few days have shown me I can be comfortable in my past presentation, without diminishing who I am.  Can I be who my wife is happy with and be happy myself..... to a large degree yes.  I am who I am, and I’ve always have been who I am.  With my meds and my days out with my girlfriends have been adequate so far, so the status quo holds.
I’m 62, married for 37 years to my best friend and my true love with no regrets.
Life is what you make it.
.......................................................... We will see tomorrow.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

You have achieved a balance in your life with everyone seming to be happy witht the outcome including you. More power to you if you can find a workable solution without transitioning and the aditional complications that come with that....congrats on finding a solution, it is such a difficult balacing act to achieve. Although you do seem to indicate that you are not 100% sure this will be completely ok for you "to a large defree yes" which can also mean "to a smaller degree...no" I hope for your and your wifes sake you have reached that happy compromise where you both get what you need.

Take care

Liz

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 06, 2018, 07:19:29 pm
@LizK

You have achieved a balance in your life with everyone seming to be happy witht the outcome including you. More power to you if you can find a workable solution without transitioning and the aditional complications that come with that....congrats on finding a solution, it is such a difficult balacing act to achieve. Although you do seem to indicate that you are not 100% sure this will be completely ok for you "to a large degree yes" which can also mean "to a smaller degree...no" I hope for your and your wifes sake you have reached that happy compromise where you both get what you need.

Take care

Liz

Thank you Liz for your reply.  You are quite perceptive.  Yes, there is a degree of something missing, that for total happiness, I would need.  If my wife was comfortable with all I would “like” to achieve, it would be the better choice to be entirely happy.  But the cost of such a demand may be to never be happy.  If she can be comfortable with my “needs” we both can be happy.  I do have to admit my needs are a bit on the contrary side of her needs at the moment, and her needs are paramount also, but I feel our love will find a way for us.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on November 06, 2018, 07:46:40 pm
@LizK

….. but I feel our love will find a way for us.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

...that's it...perfect
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on November 07, 2018, 10:41:26 am
@LizK

Thank you Liz for your reply.  You are quite perceptive.  Yes, there is a degree of something missing, that for total happiness, I would need.  If my wife was comfortable with all I would “like” to achieve, it would be the better choice to be entirely happy.  But the cost of such a demand may be to never be happy.  If she can be comfortable with my “needs” we both can be happy.  I do have to admit my needs are a bit on the contrary side of her needs at the moment, and her needs are paramount also, but I feel our love will find a way for us.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

Jessica, I think you are in a much better place than many of us have been at this point in our coming out and interactions with family.  You are aware of your ‘needs’ vs ‘wants’, and are communicating with your SO. 

I have hopes that the two of you will find a path to mutual happiness.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 07, 2018, 04:02:55 pm
@Michelle_P

Jessica, I think you are in a much better place than many of us have been at this point in our coming out and interactions with family.  You are aware of your ‘needs’ vs ‘wants’, and are communicating with your SO. 

I have hopes that the two of you will find a path to mutual happiness.

Thank you Michelle for your kind words.  I know that life in general is based on compromises that social needs dictate.  What would this world be like if everyone acted like elected officials and only saw one view.  Self control in any relationship is necessary for equality, on all sides. 
I love, like and respect my best friend and heartthrob enough to have an understanding and compassion for her feelings as much as I hope she does mine.

Hugs and smiles from another California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: RandyL on November 07, 2018, 08:06:46 pm


@Michelle_P

Thank you Michelle for your kind words.  I know that life in general is based on compromises that social needs dictate.  What would this world be like if everyone acted like elected officials and only saw one view.  Self control in any relationship is necessary for equality, on all sides. 
I love, like and respect my best friend and heartthrob enough to have an understanding and compassion for her feelings as much as I hope she does mine.

Hugs and smiles from another California girl
Thank you Jess for this perceptive exchange that you started. It is reinforcing for my/my wife's path, which I hope we can continue to follow.

Nobody who wishes to remain in a relationship can have everything. There is always compromise and accommodation. It is our universal hope that these do not unduly impede our being who we really are and need to express.

Best of luck to you and your wife as you navigate this river.

Sent from my Victor 9000 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on November 07, 2018, 11:44:26 pm
I'm reading Sis, I'm reading.

Hugs,
  Laurie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 08, 2018, 12:28:58 pm
@Laurie 

I'm reading Sis, I'm reading.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Hmmmm
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on November 08, 2018, 01:11:20 pm

 I did I did
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 08, 2018, 01:21:52 pm
@Laurie

I did I did


Hmmmm
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on November 08, 2018, 02:13:43 pm
Really Sis I read your recent post and looked at the purty pictures. I did, I did.

I did, too! so there :-P
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 08, 2018, 02:20:18 pm
@Laurie

Really Sis I read your recent post and looked at the purty pictures. I did, I did.

I did, too! so there :-P

You’ve seen those purty pictures before sis.
And you’ve also counseled me by Messenger.
What else is there needed to say?

But you didn’t ask about my awesome ⚡️session!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 09, 2018, 08:55:04 pm
So I had the surgeon look a my vocal cords one last time .....
It’s been determined I will need to have surgery on the 26th of this month....
Oh joy......not.
Any tips for silence time?


Hugs from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on November 09, 2018, 09:40:54 pm
So I had the surgeon look a my vocal cords one last time .....
It’s been determined I will need to have surgery on the 26th of this month....
Oh joy......not.
Any tips for silence time?


Hugs from a California girl

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
WOW, that is fast!!!  Might as well get it done as soon as possible.

Get a small white board and if in a hurry you can use hand signals if you have to.....   depending on how you and your wife and friends communicate and how much you usually talk and converse, it is possible that all of them may enjoy some silence!!!!   ;)

Be certain to follow your surgeon's instructions to the "T"  .... you do not want to mess up the healing.

Keep us all up to date...  please....

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Laurie on November 09, 2018, 09:42:46 pm
Believing all will go well and be well when all is done.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 09, 2018, 09:58:13 pm
@Alaskan Danielle @Laurie

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
WOW, that is fast!!!  Might as well get it done as soon as possible.

Get a small white board and if in a hurry you can use hand signals if you have to.....   depending on how you and your wife and friends communicate and how much you usually talk and converse, it is possible that all of them may enjoy some silence!!!!   ;)

Be certain to follow your surgeon's instructions to the "T"  .... you do not want to mess up the healing.

Keep us all up to date...  please....

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle


Firstly Danielle, thank you, but this is not a surgery for my voice.  In an earlier Jess’s Mess post I mentioned that when I had a consult for voice therapy an abnormality was discovered on my right vocal cord.  The surgeon feels it’s ‘Hyperkeratosis’, but she needs to find out for sure to rule out cancer.
And yes I’m scared.

Believing all will go well and be well when all is done.

Thank you Laurie, you know my fears.  Sometimes you push them to their limits, but you do know how to quell them.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on November 09, 2018, 10:11:35 pm
@Alaskan Danielle @Laurie

Firstly Danielle, thank you, but this is not a surgery for my voice.  In an earlier Jess’s Mess post I mentioned that when I had a consult for voice therapy an abnormality was discovered on my right vocal cord.  The surgeon feels it’s ‘Hyperkeratosis’, but she needs to find out for sure to rule out cancer.
And yes I’m scared.

Thank you Laurie, you know my fears.  Sometimes you push them to their limits, but you do know how to quell them.

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I am so sorry that I misunderstood what was going on there... 
Try to stay positive and be strong and know that all of your friends are praying for you and wishing and hoping for a good report....   

A big and tight hug for you..!!! 

Wishing you well as always.
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Dena on November 09, 2018, 11:04:34 pm
I carried a pen and a bound notebook I obtained from my local drug store. I selected a mid sized one because the big one was difficult to carry and the small ones didn't have enough room. The other thing that helps is to work on safe throat clearing and staying silent for about a week before surgery. Find out what foods cause you to need to clear your  throat and don't eat those foods. Unfortunately one of them is chocolate. Moist foods like soup are the best but you should be able to eat many other foods as long as they aren't overly dry.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 09, 2018, 11:53:52 pm
@Alaskan Danielle @Dena

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I am so sorry that I misunderstood what was going on there... 
Try to stay positive and be strong and know that all of your friends are praying for you and wishing and hoping for a good report....   

A big and tight hug for you..!!! 

Wishing you well as always.
Danielle


Thank you again Danielle, I could see how that mistake could be made on a site that many have had voice surgery.  I have a personal fear of situations like what I’m going through, so I’m working on it.  My wife today at the exam mentioned the devastating fires here in California (it is very smoky here) and it struck me that my discomfort is nothing like what the folks caught in all that are going through.  It humbled me.


I carried a pen and a bound notebook I obtained from my local drug store. I selected a mid sized one because the big one was difficult to carry and the small ones didn't have enough room. The other thing that helps is to work on safe throat clearing and staying silent for about a week before surgery. Find out what foods cause you to need to clear your  throat and don't eat those foods. Unfortunately one of them is chocolate. Moist foods like soup are the best but you should be able to eat many other foods as long as they aren't overly dry.

Dena , I appreciate very much your advice.  All of it.  Tried and true experience counts.  Just having early knowledge of how to prepare is vital, and I’m only a couple weeks out.  I will have a particular problem with keeping my throat clear.  Post nasal drip is not my friend.  Avoiding foods that aggravate that is crucial....but I love chocolate 🤦‍♀️  But I love soup too!  One unexpected bit was about being silent prior to surgery.
Thank you again!

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 10, 2018, 01:21:59 pm
Why oh why can’t I learn???
Throughout my life the one common denominator in my failures has been my persistence pursuing my convictions.  Of course most of the time that denominator has been associated with many successes. But in personal relationships I must learn to be better..... When will I learn to just shut up?
Even saying this is pushing it.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on November 10, 2018, 01:45:19 pm
Why oh why can’t I learn???
Throughout my life the one common denominator in my failures has been my persistence pursuing my convictions.  Of course most of the time that denominator has been associated with many successes. But in personal relationships I must learn to be better..... When will I learn to just shut up?
Even saying this is pushing it.

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
What you stated about yourself is not unique to just you... all of us, and certainly myself have to deal with pushing forward with our convictions and sharing our thoughts.   
Sometimes that is not very productive but in my opinion I think it is better to let my thoughts and feelings out instead of holding them in and possible regretting it later.

But, this is not such a simple matter, there are times that I do need to bite my tongue and then allow certain situations play out to the point that speaking my mind might be more appropriate and better received.

NOW... can I just follow my own advice ???   Not easy sometimes.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, you are not alone with what you stated about yourself.
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 10, 2018, 07:17:49 pm
@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
What you stated about yourself is not unique to just you... all of us, and certainly myself have to deal with pushing forward with our convictions and sharing our thoughts.   
Sometimes that is not very productive but in my opinion I think it is better to let my thoughts and feelings out instead of holding them in and possible regretting it later.

But, this is not such a simple matter, there are times that I do need to bite my tongue and then allow certain situations play out to the point that speaking my mind might be more appropriate and better received.

NOW... can I just follow my own advice ???   Not easy sometimes.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, you are not alone with what you stated about yourself.
Hugs,
Danielle


Danielle, of course your correct, but I feel I may have lost another dear friend.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on November 10, 2018, 07:40:45 pm
@Alaskan Danielle

Danielle, of course your correct, but I feel I may have lost another dear friend.

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
A good friend, a dear friend, will stick with you through all of your trials and tribulations and forgive you for various indiscretions as long as your ask for sincere forgiveness then the burden is on them to forgive you and remain friends....
 
....throughout our lives, we have far fewer really good and best friends than we think that we do.  Friends can come and go, but our best friends and dear friends will always be there... with very few exceptions.
Hugs,
Danielle


Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 10, 2018, 08:03:59 pm
@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
A good friend, a dear friend, will stick with you through all of your trials and tribulations and forgive you for various indiscretions as long as your ask for sincere forgiveness then the burden is on them to forgive you and remain friends....
 
....throughout our lives, we have far fewer really good and best friends than we think that we do.  Friends can come and go, but our best friends and dear friends will always be there... with very few exceptions.
Hugs,
Danielle

That’s a nice perspective, I guess I’ll have to just wait. If they do care I will know soon enough.
I have apologized, I was afraid for this friend and needed to truly find out if they were ok.  I still don’t know what is going on.  This happened with my running gal pal also and I have not heard from her since.   I considered her my best friend, save for my wife, I guess I haven’t a clue. 
I certainly have not gotten over it and this compounds my sadness.
I care for those I call friends deeply, as you know Danielle, and can’t stand idly by when help seems needed.

This is my mess, no one else’s, Jess

This is the 777th Jess’s Mess comment, it doesn’t seem very lucky to me.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on November 10, 2018, 08:30:51 pm
@Alaskan Danielle

@Alaskan Danielle

That’s a nice perspective, I guess I’ll have to just wait. If they do care I will know soon enough.
I have apologized, I was afraid for this friend and needed to truly find out if they were ok.  I still don’t know what is going on.  This happened with my running gal pal also and I have not heard from her since.   I considered her my best friend, save for my wife, I guess I haven’t a clue. 
I certainly have not gotten over it and this compounds my sadness.
I care for those I call friends deeply, as you know Danielle, and can’t stand idly by when help seems needed.

This is my mess, no one else’s, Jess

This is the 777th Jess’s Mess comment, it doesn’t seem very lucky to me.
@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I would not wait around for them to get back to you....  I would continue to reach out to them and affirming to them that you care and also continuing to ask for forgiveness.   Be persistent with this, good friends are like finding diamonds in the sand at the beach, you just don't lose them without being determined to find them again.

That is a very good personal trait and a caring attitude for a friend.
I would rather boldly make a move to support and be concerned for a friend in apparent need than to think that I shouldn't be involved in possibly offending them and not intervening.   
Just imagine not getting involved in trying to check up on a friend and offering help only to find out that something terrible has happened to them....  I like to err on the side of empathy and caring.

Keep doing what your compassionate heart tells you to do.   That is the Jess that I have come to know here on the Forums...
Hugs and hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 10, 2018, 09:03:49 pm
@Alaskan Danielle

@Alaskan Danielle

That’s a nice perspective, I guess I’ll have to just wait. If they do care I will know soon enough.
I have apologized, I was afraid for this friend and needed to truly find out if they were ok.  I still don’t know what is going on.  This happened with my running gal pal also and I have not heard from her since.   I considered her my best friend, save for my wife, I guess I haven’t a clue. 
I certainly have not gotten over it and this compounds my sadness.
I care for those I call friends deeply, as you know Danielle, and can’t stand idly by when help seems needed.

This is my mess, no one else’s, Jess

This is the 777th Jess’s Mess comment, it doesn’t seem very lucky to me.
@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I would not wait around for them to get back to you....  I would continue to reach out to them and affirming to them that you care and also continuing to ask for forgiveness.   Be persistent with this, good friends are like finding diamonds in the sand at the beach, you just don't lose them without being determined to find them again.

That is a very good personal trait and a caring attitude for a friend.
I would rather boldly make a move to support and be concerned for a friend in apparent need than to think that I shouldn't be involved in possibly offending them and not intervening.   
Just imagine not getting involved in trying to check up on a friend and offering help only to find out that something terrible has happened to them....  I like to err on the side of empathy and caring.

Keep doing what your compassionate heart tells you to do.   That is the Jess that I have come to know here on the Forums...
Hugs and hugs and well wishes,
Danielle


Being persistent is what caused this issue to be where it’s at.  I said earlier, “When will I ever learn to shut up”
I will not contact someone that has made it clear to back off or say they are done with me.
The concerns of my friend today, I have had before, and was apparently wrong then, but I don’t know about now.  Extreme comments were made, privately and publicly.
All this hurts both of us, and I don’t know if I can be what is asked of me.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 11, 2018, 08:27:38 am
I needed this yesterday. 


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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on November 11, 2018, 01:49:17 pm
I needed this yesterday. 


(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181111/b4f32565555cc4a0320322f7eaea5488.jpg)


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I second that Jessica. Funny how age teaches us these things. Perhaps it's not necessarily age, but the headache, ulcers and heart disease that all that stress can cause. At some point in our lives we realize it's not worth it to stress over the things we can not control. You have made me feel better girl.

Hugs,
Donica.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 11, 2018, 04:15:36 pm
I needed this yesterday. 


(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181111/b4f32565555cc4a0320322f7eaea5488.jpg)


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I’m trying..... not succeeding......
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on November 11, 2018, 04:34:38 pm
I’m trying..... not succeeding......

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Hang in there.   Please know that you are not alone with the feelings such as you are experiencing...
You are at your safe cave and place here on your thread where you have many followers that care about you and please know that we have you in our thoughts and prayers...   

You have a lot on your mind with various personal relations issues at home, relationship issues with friends, impending medical procedures (and concerns) ... etc, etc.   

We are your biggest fans and supporters and we are all wishing you well.
Get some wine, chocolate, ice cream or ??? and sit down and read a good and enjoyable book and try to get your mind off of your various situations...   may not be entirely successful, but please try.

Hugs and well wishes as always.... 
Danielle

Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 11, 2018, 06:41:52 pm
Thank you @Alaskan Danielle I appreciate your support.  I am not in a good place right now all the same.
And things are just marginally better for my friend.

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Hang in there.   Please know that you are not alone with the feelings such as you are experiencing...
You are at your safe cave and place here on your thread where you have many followers that care about you and please know that we have you in our thoughts and prayers...   

You have a lot on your mind with various personal relations issues at home, relationship issues with friends, impending medical procedures (and concerns) ... etc, etc.   

We are your biggest fans and supporters and we are all wishing you well.
Get some wine, chocolate, ice cream or ??? and sit down and read a good and enjoyable book and try to get your mind off of your various situations...   may not be entirely successful, but please try.

Hugs and well wishes as always.... 
Danielle


Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 11, 2018, 10:02:59 pm
@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Hang in there.   Please know that you are not alone with the feelings such as you are experiencing...
You are at your safe cave and place here on your thread where you have many followers that care about you and please know that we have you in our thoughts and prayers...   

You have a lot on your mind with various personal relations issues at home, relationship issues with friends, impending medical procedures (and concerns) ... etc, etc.   

We are your biggest fans and supporters and we are all wishing you well.
Get some wine, chocolate, ice cream or ??? and sit down and read a good and enjoyable book and try to get your mind off of your various situations...   may not be entirely successful, but please try.

Hugs and well wishes as always.... 
Danielle



Update... the chocolate worked....Thank you Danielle!

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on November 11, 2018, 10:09:41 pm
@Alaskan Danielle

Update... the chocolate worked....Thank you Danielle!

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I am so glad to hear it....   for me, chocolate always works.   In my desk drawer at work I have Hersheys, Peanut Butter Cups, Snickers, and KitKats... and at home I have a drawer full of various chocolate treats... then of course the next door coffee shop has pastries, candy bars and ice cream and other supplies if I run out.

Usually treating myself to treats, perhaps going to a beauty salon, and letting some time pass... all of those things help a lot.

Thanks for your good report.
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on November 11, 2018, 10:29:44 pm
Hi Jessica

I am not sure of what exactly is going on but I hope you are able to work through what ever has happened.

Take care

Liz


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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 11, 2018, 10:44:17 pm
@LizK

Hi Jessica

I am not sure of what exactly is going on but I hope you are able to work through what ever has happened.

Take care

Liz


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Thank you Liz, I have purposely been coy with details, but knowing your concern helps me.
I still have work to do before my emotions in these matters have found an equilibrium.
Wife, friends and surgery all have their own brand of emotions and each one has its own needs.

I appreciate your friendship and am highly anticipating the Squeeeee’s you will hear in just a blink of an eye when you achieve your dreams 🌸🌸🌸

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 12, 2018, 10:27:10 pm
@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I am so glad to hear it....   for me, chocolate always works.   In my desk drawer at work I have Hersheys, Peanut Butter Cups, Snickers, and KitKats... and at home I have a drawer full of various chocolate treats... then of course the next door coffee shop has pastries, candy bars and ice cream and other supplies if I run out.

Usually treating myself to treats, perhaps going to a beauty salon, and letting some time pass... all of those things help a lot.

Thanks for your good report.
Hugs,
Danielle

I’m nearly out of the extra Halloween chocolate! Yikes
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: KathyLauren on November 13, 2018, 06:47:49 am
I’m nearly out of the extra Halloween chocolate! Yikes
That is an emergency!!

I make a point of keeping a month's supply of chocolate (well, okay, two months) on hand at all times.  You never know when there will be a shortage or you get cut off by a blizzard.  Running out would not be a pretty sight!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: steph2.0 on November 13, 2018, 08:05:57 am
That is an emergency!!

I make a point of keeping a month's supply of chocolate (well, okay, two months) on hand at all times.  You never know when there will be a shortage or you get cut off by a blizzard.  Running out would not be a pretty sight!

And wine, of course.


Stephanie
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: KathyLauren on November 13, 2018, 08:25:18 am
And wine, of course.


Stephanie
Well, duh, yeah!  It goes without saying.   ;D
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on November 13, 2018, 09:01:25 am
Heaven forbid we run out of wine :o

Donica.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Faith on November 13, 2018, 09:15:31 am
Heaven forbid we run out of wine :o

Donica.

I never run out of whine
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Kendra on November 13, 2018, 10:23:53 am
I’m nearly out of the extra Halloween chocolate! Yikes

Boo.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on November 13, 2018, 10:50:20 am
I never run out of whine

Haha! I saw what you did ;).

Chocolate doesn't work for me anymore Jessica. Don't get me wrong! I love chocolate too much. But these days it only serves to add on the pounds and wreck what little teeth I have left.

I fine that anticipating a good home cooked meal works best for me, and being that I'm the cook, I can choose all the happieness I want ;D. Cheers! Oh wait! Is that what you say when tipping a glass of wine?

Hugs! Bon appetit!
Donica.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: KathyLauren on November 13, 2018, 05:27:49 pm
Chocolate doesn't work for me anymore Jessica.
OK.  Dibs on your share!  :D
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 13, 2018, 08:42:11 pm
I remembered that @LizK  had lost weight while dieting with Maltesers as a diet supplement.  I’m covered for my chocolate for a bit now, and I’ll keep my girlish figure!
@Donica this could be the answer!  Sorry @KathyLauren ......

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 13, 2018, 09:54:17 pm
@Steph2.0 @KathyLauren @Donica @Faith @Kendra

And wine, of course.


Stephanie

Well, duh, yeah!  It goes without saying.   ;D

Heaven forbid we run out of wine :o

Donica.

I never run out of whine



I’m glad the wine cellar was finish last year.

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181114/ac98c85c6dc60a37088a6264d0efd1f5.jpg)


Boo.

Kendra, you scared me into doing this....


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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on November 15, 2018, 01:03:32 pm
Oh dear! That's a lot of wine. Wait, what? Malt balls are not fattening? or is it just the Maltesers that aren't fattening? What about Snickers? I used to have one Snickers bar every night before bed but I couldn't lose the weight.

Donica.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 15, 2018, 03:18:34 pm
@Donica @LizK

Oh dear! That's a lot of wine. Wait, what? Malt balls are not fattening? or is it just the Maltesers that aren't fattening? What about Snickers? I used to have one Snickers bar every night before bed but I couldn't lose the weight.

Donica.

Donica, so many friends here missed the bbq’s I’ve had in my oasis and having the chance roaming the cellar looking for a good wine for the porterhouse steaks on the grill.  I have a nice Shiraz that pairs well!
Ask @LizK in regards to the Malteser’s, I sent her a pallet a while back and she is down to the weight she needs for her upcoming surgery.  So yeah, they work!  Lol.....

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 15, 2018, 03:30:05 pm
Hey friends, some know that my wife and I are working things out.  I got a boost in confidence that all will be well when she told me what my birthday present is....tickets to ‘Hamilton’.  For one they cost an arm and a leg, second my birthday is a half a year off.  I think she expects that we will still be a loving couple at that time.  I think so too.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on November 15, 2018, 04:10:47 pm
I remembered that @LizK  had lost weight while dieting with Maltesers as a diet supplement.  I’m covered for my chocolate for a bit now, and I’ll keep my girlish figure!
@Donica this could be the answer!  Sorry @KathyLauren ......

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20181114/802ea8a19ecd58f3ece6a2526e937f94.jpg)


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How cruel....but yum

Malteaser diets rule

not great for weight loss results but still  my favourite diet


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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on November 15, 2018, 04:12:02 pm
Hey friends, some know that my wife and I are working things out.  I got a boost in confidence that all will be well when she told me what my birthday present is....tickets to ‘Hamilton’.  For one they cost an arm and a leg, second my birthday is a half a year off.  I think she expects that we will still be a loving couple at that time.  I think so too.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl


wonderful, wonderful wonderful....


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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: KathyLauren on November 15, 2018, 04:44:33 pm
Hey friends, some know that my wife and I are working things out.  I got a boost in confidence that all will be well when she told me what my birthday present is....tickets to ‘Hamilton’.  For one they cost an arm and a leg, second my birthday is a half a year off.  I think she expects that we will still be a loving couple at that time.  I think so too.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

What a great confidence-booster!  I am glad the future looks good for you.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: RandyL on November 15, 2018, 08:49:53 pm
Hey friends, some know that my wife and I are working things out.  I got a boost in confidence that all will be well when she told me what my birthday present is....tickets to ‘Hamilton’.  For one they cost an arm and a leg, second my birthday is a half a year off.  I think she expects that we will still be a loving couple at that time.  I think so too.
I'm so glad for both of you, and also for my own wife and me. I hope we are following a similar path.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on November 16, 2018, 09:35:00 am
Hey friends, some know that my wife and I are working things out.  I got a boost in confidence that all will be well when she told me what my birthday present is....tickets to ‘Hamilton’.  For one they cost an arm and a leg, second my birthday is a half a year off.  I think she expects that we will still be a loving couple at that time.  I think so too.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
It is such a pleasure to read your good news report....  it must be quite gratifying to know that your wife is doing her best to deal with all that is going on with your transition changes...   kudos to her, and to you of course for your attitude of understanding and love for her... this spouse relationship stuff is definitively a 2 way street.
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on November 16, 2018, 12:25:13 pm
That's great Jess! Long term relationship goals for the future. Wonderful news you two.

Hugs,
Donica.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 16, 2018, 04:39:52 pm
@LizK @KathyLauren @RandyL @Alaskan Danielle @Donica


Thank you all for your support, I really appreciate it!

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 16, 2018, 04:46:54 pm
Electrolysis update: today I had a great session.  My electrocutioner arranged for me to receive a shot of novocaine from a dentist in the same building, to numb my upper lip for the first pass in the middle frenulum and nostrils.  I’ve got a negative version of a certain dictators mustache.  She cleared it fairly well.  I’ve got an invite from the dentist to call when I need to do this again.
I absolutely did not feel a thing.  I even snoozed a half a dozen times during the two and a half hour appointment.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: ChrissyRyan on November 16, 2018, 05:13:45 pm
Hey friends, some know that my wife and I are working things out.  I got a boost in confidence that all will be well when she told me what my birthday present is....tickets to ‘Hamilton’.  For one they cost an arm and a leg, second my birthday is a half a year off.  I think she expects that we will still be a loving couple at that time.  I think so too.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl


That sounds really positive Jessica!  Good for you two!

Chrissy
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on November 16, 2018, 05:30:37 pm
Electrolysis update: today I had a great session.  My electrocutioner arranged for me to receive a shot of novacaine from a dentist in the same building, to numb my upper lip for the first pass in the middle frenulum and nostrils.  I’ve got a negative version of a certain dictators mustache.  She cleared it fairly well.  I’ve got an invite from the dentist to call when I need to do this again.
I absolutely did not feel a thing.  I even snoozed a half a dozen times during the two and a half hour appointment.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl
It's nice to have friends in dental positions so close to you. So long as my electrocutioner starts on my upper lip first thing I can get through it with minimal squirming.

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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on November 17, 2018, 07:51:20 pm
@LizK @KathyLauren @RandyL @Alaskan Danielle @Donica


Thank you all for your support, I really appreciate it!

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
As like-minded forums members and friends we all all here to support each other...
... as we all need and all can use support at times.... that is what friends do.

Stay strong, and keep keeping on.
Hugs and well wishes and continued success in your journey as you reach for your goals.
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 17, 2018, 09:13:20 pm
@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
As like-minded forums members and friends we all all here to support each other...
... as we all need and all can use support at times.... that is what friends do.

Stay strong, and keep keeping on.
Hugs and well wishes and continued success in your journey as you reach for your goals.
Danielle

This is so true, we all need help sometimes.  I’m so happy we all have one another.

Hugs, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Dietlind on November 17, 2018, 10:11:37 pm
@Alaskan Danielle

This is so true, we all need help sometimes.  I’m so happy we all have one another.

Hugs, Jess
And this is soooooo true.  Without everybody here I would not know who I am and what to do!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 17, 2018, 11:15:17 pm
@Dietlind

And this is soooooo true.  Without everybody here I would not know who I am and what to do!

Yes it is, and we all are happy to help when one of us are lonely, confused, searching and crying.
I’m so glad you have found who you are!

Hugs, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Dietlind on November 17, 2018, 11:24:52 pm
@Dietlind

Yes it is, and we all are happy to help when one of us are lonely, confused, searching and crying.
I’m so glad you have found who you are!

Hugs, Jess
Thank you so much Jess!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: LizK on November 20, 2018, 08:56:16 pm
Electrolysis update: today I had a great session.  My electrocutioner arranged for me to receive a shot of novacaine from a dentist in the same building, to numb my upper lip for the first pass in the middle frenulum and nostrils.  I’ve got a negative version of a certain dictators mustache.  She cleared it fairly well.  I’ve got an invite from the dentist to call when I need to do this again.
I absolutely did not feel a thing.  I even snoozed a half a dozen times during the two and a half hour appointment.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

Novocaine is my friend...or at least the Aussie equivalent...I had 12 dental blocks to do my upper and lower lips..plus injections into my face...I would never have completed as much as I did  without them...It is the most densely hair populated area.....I hated it ...even with the injections some were still really painful to remove

Take care

Liz
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on November 22, 2018, 12:30:37 pm
@Dietlind

Yes it is, and we all are happy to help when one of us are lonely, confused, searching and crying.
I’m so glad you have found who you are!

Hugs, Jess

That is why so many of us are still here.  I was helped tremendously by others, and I continue trying to pay it forward.  Always happy to help where I can!

Michelle P.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Dietlind on November 22, 2018, 01:26:05 pm
And that is great that many of the "old" members are still here!  New members and semi new members, like I, still have so many questions, and still need a shoulder to lean on once in a while!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on November 24, 2018, 01:13:56 pm
And that is great that many of the "old" members are still here!  New members and semi new members, like I, still have so many questions, and still need a shoulder to lean on once in a while!
@Dietlind
Yes indeed, the "older" long term members are a treasure trove of transitioning information and we are always very eager to help and share with the newbies, or even other long term members having difficult issues. 

We are ALL here to help and share with each other. 
In a member's good times we are there to rejoice and celebrate with them and in the not-so-good times we are there to provide our ear to listen and our shoulder to lean on.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 26, 2018, 09:22:52 am
Send hugs to me, I need them this morning.
Surgery at 9ish

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Dietlind on November 26, 2018, 09:27:09 am
Send hugs to me, I need them this morning.
Surgery at 9ish

Hugs and smiles, Jess

Huggs are comming in large amounts!  And I will virtually standing in the operating room and look over the shoulder of the surgeon to make sure he makes no mistake.

When you have a chance, ask if he uses/used Ioban incision film for your surgery.  If yes, I have the patent on this.  I invented it just to make sure you trans girls have a safe surgery!
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on November 26, 2018, 10:15:23 am
Send hugs to me, I need them this morning.
Surgery at 9ish

Hugs and smiles, Jess

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Waiting in the doctor's office and/or the Hospital surgery waiting room can be quite nervewracking for sure but on the other hand it will be good for you to get this done... there is no doubt that this is a big weight on you mind.  Just knowing will be good.
        (https://i.imgur.com/mEZciUY.jpg)
Hugs and many more hugs are always coming your way from me.
Wishing you well as always,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on November 26, 2018, 11:22:11 am
<<<Big hugs Jess!>>> I'll be in the waiting room when you get out of surgery. Remember, sometimes silence is golden. That means no laughing either.

See you when you get out.
Donica.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Kirsteneklund7 on November 26, 2018, 12:45:20 pm
Lots of big hugs & Godspeed Jessica. Thinking of you.

 Kirsten x.

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Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Michelle_P on November 26, 2018, 02:16:29 pm
Jessica’s spouse has posted on Facebook that all is well, they are out of surgery and in recovery.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Donica on November 26, 2018, 02:19:05 pm
Oh that's good news! Thank you Michelle. I'll have to check in on FB.
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on November 26, 2018, 02:26:02 pm
@Jessica
To my dear friend Jess:
I have been thinking of you all last night and all this morning. I trust that you surgery went well and will be looking forward to your report either on your thread or you can send me a PM when you feel up to it.

You are a good friend and I know that you consider me a good friend as well.
I do not use the term Friend in a frivolous way....

Please go to this LINK to find out what I think of my FRIENDSHIPS
     https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,238255.msg2198667.html#msg2198667

My HUGS are yours to receive.
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on November 26, 2018, 02:34:21 pm
Jessica’s spouse has posted on Facebook that all is well, they are out of surgery and in recovery.

@Michelle_P
Dear Michelle:
Thank you so very much for your update on our dear friend Jess.   I have been keeping her in my thoughts and prayers all last night and also this morning.

Please, when you find out anything else, could you report it here or perhaps write a PM to me...It will be very much appreciated it you do.
Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Kendra on November 26, 2018, 02:38:48 pm
Best wishes Jessica!!  (Quietly) :eusa_shhh:
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on November 26, 2018, 03:32:01 pm
@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I see that you just signed in and checked into the Forums.  I take it that you are awake and either still in your hospital room or that you are on your way home.   I have been eagerly awaiting your arrival.
Rest up, stay quiet as a church mouse, and write back on your thread, or my thread or on a PM when you are ready, but only when you are ready.
Lots of hugs again for my good friend Jess.

Best wishes to you... and get fully recovered from your surgery soon.
Danielle
Title: Re: Jess’s mess
Post by: Jessica on November 27, 2018, 10:49:50 am
@Dietlind @Alaskan Danielle @Donica @Michelle_P @Kendra