Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Topic started by: PurpleWolf on March 28, 2018, 08:50:53 pm

Title: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: PurpleWolf on March 28, 2018, 08:50:53 pm

What are your thoughts of this sentence: trapped in the wrong body?

Do you feel that way? Did you feel that way? When did you stop feeling that way, if ever?

Do you think that phrase accurately depicts the trans experience? Do you think it over-simplifies our experiences? Or do you think that's a good thing to make cis people understand?

---
I always felt uneasy about that phrase. It felt almost as if I was expected to feel trapped in someone else's body, other than my own.

In general it of course very well describes to cis people what this is about. That you feel your biological body and your assigned gender are at odds with your actual identity as a person.

In practice I don't like that that much. In theory I'm 'trapped' in a female body, pretty accurate. In practice I don't like to even think I have a female body. Like my spirit was inhabiting an alien woman. Like I was woman on the outside but male only on the inside. Well, that might be accurate too, but I get dysphoric thinking it like that! I don't like to view myself as 'woman' anything! I'm not female. I'm me! I much rather view my body as mine, as a guy body with a twist. With top surgery and T I can get rid of most of that. To me this is a medical condition like any other. I wouldn't like to view myself as 'trapped' if I had any other medical condition or disability either!

Trapped to me represents something dysphoric, a claustrophobic condition you can't escape from! I much rather view my existence as normal and T as a permanent medication I'm about to take. I much rather think that I already have a guy body. A clit is the equivalent of a dick. So I already have a dick too, that will only grow on T! The eunuch body shape I have will vanish once I'm on T. After top surgery I will have a male chest. Once I've done all that no one is even able to know I was anything else than a cis male to begin with! The only 'female' part would then be my genital region. But that I'm mostly okay with to begin with. Plus that is only needed for sex so that's not a concern for others.

So, though I agree with the description in general, I really don't feel I'm 'trapped'. I'm very much alive and can affect my life's course. Like you wouldn't ask a little person, 'do you feel you are trapped in a child's body' right?! Same thing here! I habitate my own body - and I'm not trapped by it!
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Devlyn on March 28, 2018, 08:56:56 pm
I realize you posted this in Transsexual Talk, but most of your topics seem open to sharing information.

As a non-binary person, I'm in the right body, I just reshaped it a little.  ;)

Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: PurpleWolf on March 28, 2018, 09:07:36 pm
I realize you posted this in Transsexual Talk, but most of your topics seem open to sharing information.
Yeah, most of them are here just bcos I don't bother to put them here and there  ;D! All my topics are open for anyone to discuss about!!! I don't know... maybe I should've put them in the transgender section in general then... But since I'm 'transsexual' meaning wanting to medically transition I hang around here  ;D! Plus many topics in some way touch HRT and changes on it too...! For simplicity's sake they are mostly here.

I don't really put people in boxes, so... ;D! Not even in a transgender or transsexual box! (To me transsexual besides is a rather redundant term replaced by transgender in media etc...! But I know, I know, they differ here, we already had this discussion, no need to lecture  ;D!)

As a non-binary person, I'm in the right body, I just reshaped it a little.  ;)
Good thinking,  ;)
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Devlyn on March 28, 2018, 09:17:08 pm
Yeah, most of them are here just bcos I don't bother to put them here and there  ;D! All my topics are open for anyone to discuss about!!! I don't know... maybe I should've put them in the transgender section in general then... But since I'm 'transsexual' meaning wanting to medically transition I hang around here  ;D! Plus many topics in some way touch HRT and changes on it too...! For simplicity's sake they are mostly here....


Right, but asking in the transgender section means you're asking everyone, and asking in the transsexual section means you're asking a smaller subset of everyone.

The fact that I don't identify as a woman got me chased out of the MTF passing thread once. Where you post does make a difference.

Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Cassi on March 28, 2018, 09:33:51 pm
Trapped in wrong body????

I think the aliens who created the Matrix we exist in had a sick sense of humor for some of us :(
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: AnamethatstartswithE on March 28, 2018, 09:40:53 pm
I never did, it made me take a lot longer to figure out I was trans. I wasn’t conscious of wanting to be female until I was ~10 so I had many years living as male before then.
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Devlyn on March 28, 2018, 09:46:06 pm
Trapped in wrong body????
....

The Standard Trans Narrative ™ is weak in this one.   :laugh:
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Michelle_P on March 28, 2018, 09:50:05 pm
I never had the “trapped in the wrong body” experience.

As a small child I remember thinking that maybe I was like those tadpoles and this little bit would shrink away.

As I got older I knew better, through those playground discussions, but I felt that my body was the wrong shape, was somehow betraying me. 

I didn’t have a natural puberty, although there was some breast tissue growth in my early teens (very low testosterone can do this, apparently).

I was later given testosterone injections as part of a therapy to correct some behaviors (like cross-dressing, running off to the city looking like a young girl), which did a number on me, along with the intensive counseling sessions. (A form of conversion therapy)


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Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: PurpleWolf on March 28, 2018, 09:54:09 pm
I was later given testosterone injections as part of a therapy to correct some behaviors (like cross-dressing, running off to the city looking like a young girl), which did a number on me, along with the intensive counseling sessions. (A form of conversion therapy)
Cringe x(((!!! I'm again very sorry you had to go through that  >:(!
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: PurpleWolf on March 28, 2018, 10:00:15 pm
The fact that I don't identify as a woman got me chased out of the MTF passing thread once. Where you post does make a difference.
Okay. But the women here have commented many times all the ftm and T threads too...!!! So... if women are allowed in the men's section, I don't think this is quite as gender-segregated place as you perceive it to be  :D! Hope, at least,  ;) (I mean, I did comment on a post in the 'what made you happy MTF ONLY' thread recently, and will in the future too if I feel like it ;D!)

Well no one will chase you out of my threads ever, so I give you an official permission to participate, comment & discuss anything in my threads, at least! And that applies to everyone!
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Devlyn on March 28, 2018, 10:10:39 pm
Honey, I'm just trying to help you.

Once bitten, twice shy. I assure you that some of your viewers won't post in a peer subforum that they don't belong to. Just something for you to think about.

Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Cassi on March 28, 2018, 10:47:06 pm
The Standard Trans Narrative ™ is weak in this one.   :laugh:

Aye, and them aliens messing with the Matrix and causing this is aweful.  Wolfy is kewl for a guy, peace out :)
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: MeTony on March 28, 2018, 11:40:15 pm
Not feeling trapped exactly. More that my body grew wrong. It’s still my body but it is wrong.

Being in the wrong body is a simple way to explain for cis people how it feels.


Tony
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Corrina on March 29, 2018, 12:44:24 am
Right body wrong parts! 💃😮 that will change from this 👉🚻👈to this soon enough!
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: V M on March 29, 2018, 12:51:01 am
Being that I wish my parents would have never met and I never had been born I suppose it would be fair to say I feel a bit trapped in the wrong body
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Julia1996 on March 29, 2018, 05:03:08 am
That pretty accurately describes how I have always felt. That feeling has lessened quite a bit since I've been on hrt. Im sure after I have SRS they will lesson further.  But I am always going to feel that way to some degree. I've altered this body to look as female as possible but its not a genetically female body so its still wrong to me.
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Gertrude on March 29, 2018, 07:32:34 am
I am trapped in the wrong gender


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Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: KathyLauren on March 29, 2018, 07:43:27 am
I never felt trapped in the wrong body.  I did feel trapped in the wrong gender identity, but I didn't know that was a thing.  My body dysphoria was always weaker than my social dysphoria, to the point where I was unaware of it.  I really only became aware of my body dysphoria once I started addressing the social dysphoria, even though it had been there all along, lurking in the shadows.
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Chelsea on March 29, 2018, 08:32:10 am
I never felt like I was trapped in the wrong body until I got in my thirties. Shame it took me that long to figure out
what was wrong with me. So its a yes for me, but its going to change. :) Hopefully.
 
Hugs,
     Chelsea
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Kylo on March 29, 2018, 11:43:30 am
Yeah. It really doesn't reflect my self-image. I don't think of myself as having any physical delicacy. Mentally it couldn't be further from that idea so I have sometimes pushed that beyond its limits. It doesn't feel especially familiar either.

So I if did just happen to have all the male characteristics naturally this would still feel like it didn't quite reflect me. But there's nothing to be done about that.

For me, it does feel like someone's else body I'm borrowing. A skin suit. But I'm used to it so I guess it doesn't matter. It's nowhere near as jarring as the gender issue by a long shot. More like having a nose you don't like or some other feature that you'd prefer was different but you just ignore it.

But as for the female characteristics... yeah that does not feel like my body at all. It's just plain weird. 
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Cassi on March 29, 2018, 12:06:00 pm
Being that I wish my parents would have never met and I never had been born I suppose it would be fair to say I feel a bit trapped in the wrong body

:(
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on March 29, 2018, 12:39:53 pm
Hmmm, don't all of us, or at least most of us, that are transgender transitioning believe that we were trapped in the wrong body??   Why else, I wonder,  would we be personally compelled to go through the expensive, long and uncomfortable journey of HRT and transitioning?
Danielle
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Michelle_P on March 29, 2018, 12:43:04 pm
It’s MY body, but some bits need adjusting to match the body image in the brain.
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on March 29, 2018, 12:50:28 pm
It’s MY body, but some bits need adjusting to match the body image in the brain.

Michelle:   You are very correct... an  excellent thought that you have.   Perhaps the "Wrong Body" is the incorrect term....   along the lines of your reply, how about: "I am trapped with my physical body that does not match my mental image in my brain... it must be altered!!!!"
Danielle
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Cassi on March 29, 2018, 12:54:39 pm
Michelle:   You are very correct... an  excellent thought that you have.   Perhaps the "Wrong Body" is the incorrect term....   along the lines of your reply, how about: "I am trapped with my physical body that does not match my mental image in my brain... it must be altered!!!!"
Danielle

Report to Deluce NM for neuro-alteration.
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on March 29, 2018, 01:09:49 pm
Report to Deluce NM for neuro-alteration.


But, can I bring my mother with me?
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Daisy Jane on March 29, 2018, 01:19:09 pm
I think the whole "trapped in the wrong body" thing was likely a clumsy attempt for a trans person to explain to what being trans feels like to people who had no prior concept of gender identity. I think it's common that whenever a new idea is introduced to the general public, the language used hasn't been fine tuned.
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Allison S on March 29, 2018, 01:45:17 pm
I was always proud of my curves. This threw me for a loop for so many years. But in the end, overall my body in my view can use a few, well a lot of, tweaks. Hrt is saving my confidence, possibly my life at this point. Differences between males and females are just more obvious and distinct the older we get, I think. Me and my body are ready to cross that line. Maybe a little too ready, hence my impatience!! 

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Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Cassi on March 29, 2018, 01:51:41 pm

But, can I bring my mother with me?

Sweetie, I'm already here waiting for you!  If you hadn't miss my response to you "outing" me as an alien, you would  have known that :(

BTW, only sad because you missed it.  I think I've probably missed a lot of responses.  Especially when a thread gets hit by a lot of posts.  Not intentional and never mean to shun anyone, just an oversight, sadly.
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Cassi on March 29, 2018, 01:54:17 pm
I was always proud of my curves. This threw me for a loop for so many years. But in the end, overall my body in my view can use a few, well a lot of, tweaks. Hrt is saving my confidence, possibly my life at this point. Differences between males and females are just more obvious and distinct the older we get, I think. Me and my body are ready to cross that line. Maybe a little too ready, hence my impatience!! 

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

I can relate to this Alli, I've always had a big butt.  Now it's even biggggggggger :)
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: falk on March 29, 2018, 02:05:15 pm
I feel like "trapped in the wrong body" is something purely for/because? of cis people. It just feels like an oversimplification to me.

That said, I feel trapped in a dead body, mine specifically. But I don't know how much of that is because of gender or my own mental illness [alterhumanity/otherkin]. It's like that "girl" is dead yet I'm wearing her like a unfashionable coat so everyone treats me like her anyways.
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on March 29, 2018, 02:13:23 pm
I was always proud of my curves. This threw me for a loop for so many years. But in the end, overall my body in my view can use a few, well a lot of, tweaks. Hrt is saving my confidence, possibly my life at this point. Differences between males and females are just more obvious and distinct the older we get, I think. Me and my body are ready to cross that line. Maybe a little too ready, hence my impatience!! 

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

@ Allison:   Great attitude about always being proud of your curves... having those beautiful curves will be a blessing as HRT improves what is already there with your curves, your soft female looking face and your female mental attitude.

I think that I posted a photo in some thread somewhere of my college young-man appearance.   I was a small runt of a guy 5'4", no muscle, no bulk and not a picture at all of a young man.   My face was very soft looking and definitely not masculine at all, with a girlish voice to match, my voice never did drop much with my puberty.   All of that definitely worked for my benefit.  If I would have stayed as a male, I would be most miserable today as I was in high school and college... being around masculine class-mates, especially the jocks, was a constant torture of bullying and rude insults.  I even got less than nice comments from many of the girls back then.

So, Allison, I am glad that you are proud of your curves and I will be happily following your HRT progress as you keep us updated.

Hugs,
Danielle
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: V M on March 29, 2018, 02:15:49 pm
I think the whole "trapped in the wrong body" thing was likely a clumsy attempt for a trans person to explain to what being trans feels like to people who had no prior concept of gender identity. I think it's common that whenever a new idea is introduced to the general public, the language used hasn't been fine tuned.

I've kinda thought that as well

Now that I've been on HRT awhile I actually think I've got a pretty kickin' body, it's just the annoying dangler and being expected to "Be a man" all my life that bugs me out
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on March 29, 2018, 02:16:51 pm
Sweetie, I'm already here waiting for you!  If you hadn't miss my response to you "outing" me as an alien, you would  have known that :(

BTW, only sad because you missed it.  I think I've probably missed a lot of responses.  Especially when a thread gets hit by a lot of posts.  Not intentional and never mean to shun anyone, just an oversight, sadly.

@ Cassie, my alien mother....
I don't think that I did miss your response about me outing your as an alien...  hmmm?   We had a fun time with that exchanging replies.
Danielle
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Sephirah on March 29, 2018, 02:31:50 pm
Interesting question. And very interesting replies. Here are my thoughts on it, for what they're worth.

I always felt uneasy about that phrase. It felt almost as if I was expected to feel trapped in someone else's body, other than my own.

This is important. And something where it can very easily be said that "wrong" equals "not yours". But I don't think that's always the case. I think it's possible to see your body as both wrong, and your own. And to feel trapped within it.

Speaking personally, I feel more... hmm... trapped inside my own head. I do a lot of work with consciousness. Getting in touch with my subconscious, through relaxation techniques, meditation, trance work, autohypnosis... those kinds of things. The act of shutting the body off and letting the mind be... free, as it were. When free of the physical constraints and allowed to be who I feel myself to be, in every aspect, it's an entirely different, and wholely liberating experience. One I really can't put into words.

Coming back to physical reality can be a very jarring, very uncomfortable experience. For me personally. I suspect different people at different stages of transition will have varying feelings about this... but speaking only for myself... yes, sometimes I do feel trapped. Imprisoned, sometimes. In a world that sees one thing when you feel entirely something else. Like wearing a costume you can't remove. Where you mentally scratch yourself over and over looking for the zipper, to step outside that. And feel worse when you can't find it.

The body is mine, but it isn't right. It isn't a reflection of who I am. And every single time I'm reminded of that, I feel trapped. I feel like screaming "If only you could see the real me you would understand."

So in that sense, I do think it describes how I feel pretty well.

Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Allison S on March 29, 2018, 02:32:07 pm


I can relate to this Alli, I've always had a big butt.  Now it's even biggggggggger :)

So you have that donkey booty! Lol it's actually something many women have surgery for

@ Allison:   Great attitude about always being proud of your curves... having those beautiful curves will be a blessing as HRT improves what is already there with your curves, your soft female looking face and your female mental attitude.

I think that I posted a photo in some thread somewhere of my college young-man appearance.   I was a small runt of a guy 5'4", no muscle, no bulk and not a picture at all of a young man.   My face was very soft looking and definitely not masculine at all, with a girlish voice to match, my voice never did drop much with my puberty.   All of that definitely worked for my benefit.  If I would have stayed as a male, I would be most miserable today as I was in high school and college... being around masculine class-mates, especially the jocks, was a constant torture of bullying and rude insults.  I even got less than nice comments from many of the girls back then.

So, Allison, I am glad that you are proud of your curves and I will be happily following your HRT progress as you keep us updated.

Hugs,
Danielle

Oh wow that's so nice of you!!! I didn't experience too much bullying in school but I did experience a LOT of rejection. It was miserable for me too. And yet here you are now.. a true inspiritation and so humble too

I wanna go blonde when my hair gets longer but I want it to reach my behind first! Lol I always liked barbie dolls ok my arrogance is a bit high there but I do have a vivid imagination!!

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: V M on March 29, 2018, 02:48:49 pm
Interesting question. And very interesting replies. Here are my thoughts on it, for what they're worth.

This is important. And something where it can very easily be said that "wrong" equals "not yours". But I don't think that's always the case. I think it's possible to see your body as both wrong, and your own. And to feel trapped within it.

Speaking personally, I feel more... hmm... trapped inside my own head. I do a lot of work with consciousness. Getting in touch with my subconscious, through relaxation techniques, meditation, trance work, autohypnosis... those kinds of things. The act of shutting the body off and letting the mind be... free, as it were. When free of the physical constraints and allowed to be who I feel myself to be, in every aspect, it's an entirely different, and wholely liberating experience. One I really can't put into words.

Coming back to physical reality can be a very jarring, very uncomfortable experience. For me personally. I suspect different people at different stages of transition will have varying feelings about this... but speaking only for myself... yes, sometimes I do feel trapped. Imprisoned, sometimes. In a world that sees one thing when you feel entirely something else. Like wearing a costume you can't remove. Where you mentally scratch yourself over and over looking for the zipper, to step outside that. And feel worse when you can't find it.

The body is mine, but it isn't right. It isn't a reflection of who I am. And every single time I'm reminded of that, I feel trapped. I feel like screaming "If only you could see the real me you would understand."

So in that sense, I do think it describes how I feel pretty well.

Very wise words and relatable description Sephirah  :)

Hugs
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Cassi on March 29, 2018, 03:21:45 pm
@ Cassie, my alien mother....
I don't think that I did miss your response about me outing your as an alien...  hmmm?   We had a fun time with that exchanging replies.
Danielle

Good, maybe earthlings here will think we were joking, cross your third eye!.
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Alaskan Danielle on March 29, 2018, 03:56:55 pm
Good, maybe earthlings here will think we were joking, cross your third eye!.

....and our 3rd breast!!!  ::)
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Cassi on March 29, 2018, 05:08:13 pm
....and our 3rd breast!!!  ::)

Intially, I was a little upset about you letting our "3rd" breast out of the bag but maybe someone here will feel compassion for us and we'll be able to get or 3 3d Cup Bras for a song??????

( o ) ( o ) ( o )

Oh, wait a minute, your's haven't matured yet:

( o ) ( o ) ( o )
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: PurpleWolf on March 29, 2018, 11:05:44 pm
...yes, sometimes I do feel trapped. Imprisoned, sometimes. In a world that sees one thing when you feel entirely something else. Like wearing a costume you can't remove. Where you mentally scratch yourself over and over looking for the zipper, to step outside that. And feel worse when you can't find it.

The body is mine, but it isn't right. It isn't a reflection of who I am. And every single time I'm reminded of that, I feel trapped. I feel like screaming "If only you could see the real me you would understand."

So in that sense, I do think it describes how I feel pretty well.

Very true!!! Great reply Sephirah, like always!

I feel that too. I just try to not see it that way - because thinking about it too much (that I have a female body) isn't a nice feeling......
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Cassi on March 29, 2018, 11:53:25 pm
Very true!!! Great reply Sephirah, like always!

I feel that too. I just try to not see it that way - because thinking about it too much (that I have a female body) isn't a nice feeling......

I keep telling everyone it's a glitch in the alien matrix but noooooooooooooooooooooooo one believes me :(
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: WolfNightV4X1 on March 29, 2018, 11:54:45 pm
Never.  This sentiment never appealed to me. This entire body didn't go anywhere once I transitioned,  it just masculinized to be the more male approximation of it.

I've always been a major biology nerd,  so I started learning about sex differences in middle school,  you know genitals,  chromosomes,  secondary sex traits.  As we all know males are XY and females are XX.  I've always been part of nerdy/geeky fandoms for years and later I discovered a character development and fan interpretation where people would "genderbend/genderswap" certain characters in art,  I.e what if this character looked like a boy and vice versa.  This was incredibly fascinating to me,  and it got me thinking from a biological perspective that everything about this character in their D.N.A would be exactly the same except for one chromosome,  which would have them develop as male/female instead.  This was the coolest thing to me and I immediately started looking to my the female characters I related to and gender swapping them.

Essentially,  I'm not trying to be an entirely different person,  I'm me. 


I can see where some people might come from saying they're "born in the wrong body", probably because dysphoria and gender roles make you appear and feel completely different.  The term mainly ticks me off when cis people use it because it's not clear what it means from a feeling perspective to them,  and it sounds very dramatic and over the top and a lot of them who use those words usually don't support transgender people and find them ridiculous
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: PurpleWolf on March 30, 2018, 12:35:54 am
Never.  This sentiment never appealed to me. This entire body didn't go anywhere once I transitioned,  it just masculinized to be the more male approximation of it.

I've always been a major biology nerd,  so I started learning about sex differences in middle school,  you know genitals,  chromosomes,  secondary sex traits.  As we all know males are XY and females are XX.  I've always been part of nerdy/geeky fandoms for years and later I discovered a character development and fan interpretation where people would "genderbend/genderswap" certain characters in art,  I.e what if this character looked like a boy and vice versa.  This was incredibly fascinating to me,  and it got me thinking from a biological perspective that everything about this character in their D.N.A would be exactly the same except for one chromosome,  which would have them develop as male/female instead.  This was the coolest thing to me and I immediately started looking to my the female characters I related to and gender swapping them.

Essentially,  I'm not trying to be an entirely different person,  I'm me. 


I can see where some people might come from saying they're "born in the wrong body", probably because dysphoria and gender roles make you appear and feel completely different.  The term mainly ticks me off when cis people use it because it's not clear what it means from a feeling perspective to them,  and it sounds very dramatic and over the top and a lot of them who use those words usually don't support transgender people and find them ridiculous
Great answer! To the point  ;)

And genderswapping fandom seems cool!!!
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Kylo on March 30, 2018, 08:11:52 am
If I had a Y chromosome (haven't seen my genetics so who knows, but) I know my body would have developed differently. I would have a different skeletal structure for starters. This is easy to see because I can compare my bone structure to my fella who is practically the same height as me. There are noticeable differences there. His finger bones are longer and his hands are slightly longer and a little broader. Same goes for the toes. That skinny pelvis. And his skull is different as well, obviously. Overall, it's larger. There are lots of other little subtle differences as well. The only thing about mine that fits the male pattern is the broadness of the shoulders and the finger length ratios.

I did have that Y I would quite possibly have ended up taller than him, probably somewhere around 5'10" due to the difference in growth times of puberty and the average you can work out from the height of your mother and father.

So my physiology still seems glaringly female to me, especially the shape of the skull. It's a bit of an issue for me, that. Just changing my sex organs and chest isn't going to get rid of that and make me feel like I swapped gender unfortunately. If I had developed as a male I would not be entirely the same to look at, and that's significant to me.

Still, it doesn't really matter. My bones don't bother me like a female skin suit does. People don't look at them like they do secondary sexual characteristics. But I can't seem to think that this is exactly what I'd look like if I turned out XY. I highly doubt it.   
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Gertrude on March 30, 2018, 08:39:05 am
I keep telling everyone it's a glitch in the alien matrix but noooooooooooooooooooooooo one believes me :(
For me, I feel like I’m an ET sent to observe humans secretly and report back. Unfortunately they made me the wrong gender.


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Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Cassi on March 30, 2018, 09:43:01 am
For me, I feel like I’m an ET sent to observe humans secretly and report back. Unfortunately they made me the wrong gender.


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See, there you go!  Excellent.  Our lives are just part of an alien entertainment program.
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: PurpleWolf on March 30, 2018, 10:02:58 am
So my physiology still seems glaringly female to me, especially the shape of the skull. It's a bit of an issue for me, that. Just changing my sex organs and chest isn't going to get rid of that and make me feel like I swapped gender unfortunately. If I had developed as a male I would not be entirely the same to look at, and that's significant to me.

Still, it doesn't really matter. My bones don't bother me like a female skin suit does. People don't look at them like they do secondary sexual characteristics. But I can't seem to think that this is exactly what I'd look like if I turned out XY. I highly doubt it.

True. Of course we would look different had we been born cis. Fortunately though, things like skull size, bone size etc. don't affect passing really.
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Junglebell on March 30, 2018, 10:53:18 am
I used to think I was, indeed, trapped in a wrong body.

People around me seemed to think this whole gender thing was all black and white. They had a clear image on what a man was and what a woman was. In school, they taught as the differences in our bodies. They taught us the differences between these two gender. And because of that I, too, had this same understanding on what a woman's body was like, when compared to man's body. That was all that I knew and I felt trapped.

Later, I started realizing things didn't have to be that way. I learned to think that my body was, chiefly, just my body. Of course, it wasn't the way it was supposed to be, but I knew I was going to change that.

Realizing this made it much easier for me to survive through the long examinations at the TRANS clinic.

In short. It started with "I'm trapped in a wrong body" and, while I grew up, it transformed into something else.
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Gertrude on March 30, 2018, 06:14:47 pm
See, there you go!  Excellent.  Our lives are just part of an alien entertainment program.
Like a trans mork from ork.


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Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Cassi on March 30, 2018, 06:17:34 pm
Like a trans mork from ork.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

See?  People don't really know the significance of the EGG!!!!!
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: V M on March 30, 2018, 10:22:56 pm
Eggs tend to make me a bit farty, but I'm not sure if that would be significant or not

I do however like eggs
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: HughE on April 02, 2018, 07:27:57 am
I've always been a major biology nerd,  so I started learning about sex differences in middle school,  you know genitals,  chromosomes,  secondary sex traits.  As we all know males are XY and females are XX. 

There's a commonly held, but incorrect, belief, that X and Y chromosomes determine your sex. In fact, all being XX or XY does is determine whether you develop ovaries or testicles, everything from that point onwards is driven by hormones. This is why it's possible to have XX men (De La Chappelle syndrome) and XY women (Swyer's syndrome, Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome), as well as intersex and transgender people. Because the sex you develop as depends on what hormones were present at the time, and hormone levels aren't binary but exist on a spectrum, sex itself isn't binary but exists on a continuous spectrum ranging all the way from fully male to fully female.

Unfortunately, the notion that sex is determined by X and Y chromosomes is so deeply rooted in public consciousness that even most doctors assume it to be true. As a result, they've seen no problem with administering hormones to pregnant women, and there are literally millions of people alive today who were exposed to gender bending hormones during their prenatal development. From reading through case reports and chatting with other hormone exposed people online, exposure to these drugs can certainly be a cause of physical intersex-related abnormalities, however for most of us, the thing most affected seems to be the brain. If you look through some of the topics on this website, many of us older MTF and transfeminine people were prenatally exposed to an artificial estrogen called DES. Although I haven't seen it discussed here, elsewhere I've talked to AFAB people who were prenatally exposed to two other manmade hormones that were commonly prescribed during the 1950s and 60s, ethisterone and norethisterone, who either have masculinised personalities or are fully male-identified. Considering how hardly any of the people who were exposed to these drugs know anything about it, probably quite a big chunk of the transgender population are actually trans because of pharmaceutical hormones administered during pregnancy.

The worst offenders, DES, ethinylestradiol, ethisterone, norethisterone, danazol, had all been withdrawn from use during pregnancy by about 1980. The hormones now in use supposedly don't affect sexual development in the fetus. However, considering that the link between the earlier hormones and intersex and transgender in the exposed children has remained completely hidden from the public, who's to say that some of the hormones still in use aren't continuing to do the same thing?

Anyway, going back to the topic of this thread. I'm reasonably comfortable with my body as it is. I had a very unhappy time during my teens, and I think part of the reason was that, at a subconscious level, I was expecting to go through a female puberty rather than a male one. Having said that, if I had a fully female body, part of me would be fine with that, but another part of me wouldn't, and I think I'd have still experienced dysphoria. The thing that seems to work best for me is being androgynous, which is kind of how my body is now, so I'm fairly happy with that.
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: PurpleWolf on April 02, 2018, 02:41:08 pm
There's a commonly held, but incorrect, belief, that X and Y chromosomes determine your sex. In fact, all being XX or XY does is determine whether you develop ovaries or testicles, everything from that point onwards is driven by hormones. This is why it's possible to have XX men (De La Chappelle syndrome) and XY women (Swyer's syndrome, Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome), as well as intersex and transgender people. Because the sex you develop as depends on what hormones were present at the time, and hormone levels aren't binary but exist on a spectrum, sex itself isn't binary but exists on a continuous spectrum ranging all the way from fully male to fully female.

A very good point!!! Thanks so much!!!!!!!!!! I'm very interested in intersex conditions bcos in a way I see being transgender as one - though officially it's ofc not. Transgender people don't have any recognizable physical 'other sex characteristics' like intersex people do - unless, ofc, you view it that way that your whole body (except for your brain) developed in the wrong direction... And your whole being is one intersex condition in a way...! Ofc this is very controversial and I've understood that intersex people are not that keen on including trans as one or confusing the two.

Anyway it's intriguing to learn what kind of role all the hormones really play in this. I myself find comfort in the thought that if I'm not technically intersex, I am like intersex people in the way that my body is unique. Well, others may argue and say I technically have a female body and there's nothing unique about it - but this is just my way of comprehending things. To me that's a relieving thought to view my genitals as 'intersex' bcos they are not male. And after being on T and clit/dick growth that's even more accurate. But that's just my personal opinion on my body. Don't mean to offend anyone who is real intersex!   
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Tessa James on April 02, 2018, 03:40:14 pm
For me, I feel like I’m an ET sent to observe humans secretly and report back. Unfortunately they made me the wrong gender.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

I once thought i was alone in feeling exactly that alienated from culture and my own body.  Cool that aliens are now catching on?

Much of my dislike for the expression of being trapped are the simplistic and fatalistic terms people utilize.  There is no one size that fits us all and the short cuts to "knowing" us are bogus cheap.  It takes time and experience to understand our phenomenal world and each individual in it. 

I was frustrated for most of my life by a lack of knowledge and opportunity for making the changes I have now grown to own and love.  Having a dream and making it this real is wonderful. 

PurpleWolf i hope you continue to post where ever you like and I greatly appreciate any reduction of the artificial realms people use to try and separate us.  Celebrating diversity and inclusion while embracing community makes us stronger together.  Rock on Brother!
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: V M on April 02, 2018, 03:40:48 pm
I happen to be XXY, makes me wonder if that's partly why I grew breasts so easily, feel very feminine most of the time but can also seamlessly switch to male mode

Sometimes I feel like I'm a container of Half & Half LOL

(http://www.instantwhip.com/layout/_template/style/images/products/half-and-half-product.png)
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: PurpleWolf on April 02, 2018, 03:48:20 pm
PurpleWolf i hope you continue to post where ever you like and I greatly appreciate any reduction of the artificial realms people use to try and separate us.  Celebrating diversity and inclusion while embracing community makes us stronger together.  Rock on Brother!
Thanks for making my day :D!
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: HughE on April 03, 2018, 08:32:12 am
Transgender people don't have any recognizable physical 'other sex characteristics' like intersex people do - unless, ofc, you view it that way that your whole body (except for your brain) developed in the wrong direction... And your whole being is one intersex condition in a way...! Ofc this is very controversial and I've understood that intersex people are not that keen on including trans as one or confusing the two.

Medically I'm not classified as intersex because my genitals are fully male, however, if you look at me next to my brother, I actually look physically feminized. I have a lot less body hair than he does (even though I'm now on testosterone replacement), and my whole body structure is different - my arms and legs are longer and more slender, while my upper body is shorter than his. He's a lot more heavily muscled than I am (especially in the upper body), and his arm and leg bone structure is a lot heavier looking than my comparatively light, gracile bone structure. The differences were even more apparent when we were younger. I was very androgynous looking and, in my teens and twenties, would probably have been quite passable as a woman without much effort, if I'd been so inclined. Our personalities are totally different too (which I think is the result of me having had a period of female brain development). He's quite sporty and outgoing, enjoys male activities and has lots of male friends, whereas I'm the complete opposite - I'm quite shy, hate being the centre of attention, have a very strong tendency to go along with what the group is doing rather than being the one to initiate things, sport has zero appeal to me, and since I hit puberty I've never been able to make male friends (well, when I was younger, lots of gay men would try to get friendly with me, but I suspect there was an ulterior motive there!).

Talking to other people who were prenatally exposed to DES, these experiences all seem to be really common, although not universal.

Some intersex conditions (CAIS and Swyer's syndrome are classic examples) don't actually result in a person who is intermediate between male and female at all, rather they produce a person who is physically the complete opposite sex from their genetic one. Other intersex conditions (e.g. CAH, Klinefelter's syndrome) do result in people whose development is a mixture of male and female, and I know there are some people in that situation who very rigidly try to present themselves as one end or the other of the gender binary, and get quite upset about any suggestion of an association with transgender. However, if you watch the youtube videos of people with various intersex condition, a lot of them seem to have a nonbinary presentation. There are transgender people who aren't physically feminized/masculinized at all, and there are intersex people whose gender identity is binary, but often there's some overlap.
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Michelle_P on April 03, 2018, 12:54:22 pm
Like Hugh I had in utero DES exposure.  This stuff blocks the normal masculinizing action of testosterone in utero, altering development of tissues.  The dosage used in the late 1940s and early 1950s was quite high, resulting in serum estrogen levels on the order of 50,000 times of what a birth control pill can produce.

My exposure started near the end of the first trimester, after the growth of genitalia was started, but before things like the extremities and brain structures had started development. 

As a result I have fairly feminine limbs, wear a woman’s medium glove, 9 1/2 (US) women’s shoes, have almost no body hair other than the fine vellus hairs, and some sexually dimorphic regions of the brain imaged prior to HRT appear to be female in structure and function.

I was assigned male at birth because of how the tissue between my legs looked.

My body is my body.  Some parts grew in a manner more appropriate for one of the gender binaries, and other parts grew in a manner more appropriate for the other.  This sort of development is a gender incongruity.

When I was born, the medical standards called for assignment to one of two sexes based on visual evaluation of only the tissue between my legs.  I, the conscious being communicating with you, didn’t reside in that tissue.  I didn’t think with it, and frankly, it always felt like an inappropriate part of my body.

It’s gone now, and the physical body I have now more closely matches the model of my body that runs in my brain, in those sexually dimorphic regions.
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: PurpleWolf on April 06, 2018, 11:06:25 am
Like Hugh I had in utero DES exposure.  This stuff blocks the normal masculinizing action of testosterone in utero, altering development of tissues.  The dosage used in the late 1940s and early 1950s was quite high, resulting in serum estrogen levels on the order of 50,000 times of what a birth control pill can produce.
After Hugh's great explanation I had to look that up! Really interesting stuff indeed...

I was assigned male at birth because of how the tissue between my legs looked.

I, the conscious being communicating with you, didn’t reside in that tissue. 
Well put,  ;). What I'm thinking too  :D!
My body is the home of my soul - not the other way around,  ;)!

And great answers, everyone!
I really love talking to you guys  :D!
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Shellie Hart on April 06, 2018, 02:23:16 pm
Being that I wish my parents would have never met and I never had been born I suppose it would be fair to say I feel a bit trapped in the wrong body
Same here, unfortunately. I simply should not have been born the way I was (or at all). My parents were/are so selfish in so many ways. They only had kids to be a reflection of their own longings and wishes. I was expected to be a certain specific kind of guy. I failed them so miserably. Yet, if I had to be born, I guess I can fanaticize about how they (my parents) should have been. Too bad we can't wish into existence our own destinies...
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: SeptagonScars on April 29, 2018, 06:42:04 pm
What are your thoughts of this sentence: trapped in the wrong body?
- I think of it as an over-simplification, but not wrong. I think it can be a useful phrase to try to explain what dysphoria feels like for me, but I don't tend to use it myself cause I think it's not quite good enough, but also not a bad way of putting it.

Do you feel that way?
- Somewhat. I feel more like I'm trapped in the wrong gendered/sexed body. Cause it's just been the gendered aspects of it that have been wrong, not for example my eyes, hair colour, skin, etc. I'm more likely to say I was born as the wrong sex, and that has made me feel trapped in my own body.

Did you feel that way? When did you stop feeling that way, if ever?
- I'm not sure if I feel like that anymore now that I'm practically post-transition and much more comfortable with my body. That feeling of my body being wrong started fading sometime after top surgery, which was also around the same time as my effects from testosterone really started to take off and make me much more passable. It wasn't instant though, but a very slow change from feeling entirely "wrong" about my body to feeling more like "this is starting to feel right."

Do you think that phrase accurately depicts the trans experience?
- Eh, I'd say somewhat. As I said before, to me it's an over-simplification. It kinda looks to me like it's akin to saying one's entire body is just all wrong, when in actuality it's really just the gendered aspects that are wrong or incorrect. Saying "trapped in the wrong gendered/sexed body" -would be more accurate for me at least. I can't speak for anyone else about that though. The trans experience is of course very individual, even though there might be some general consensus on the matter.

Do you think it over-simplifies our experiences? Or do you think that's a good thing to make cis people understand?
- Well, sometimes over-simplifying a complex matter is the best way to at least start a conversation with people who don't know much/anything about that topic. Like if you're gonna explain to someone who's never been to a school or know what a school even is, what the education system is like, it doesn't make much sense to jump straight into the finer details of grades, scholar ships and student-teacher dynamics. So then it might be better to say something like "it's a place you go to learn stuff" even though that is an over-simplification.

I think the same way about exlaining being trans and/or having dysphoria to people who don't know what that's like, aka cis people. Which is why I often say phrases like "I was born a girl but then became a man" cause even though that isn't entirely accurate, it's simple enough to understand and gets the point across, and then I can get into the finer details of how it feels and what transitioning is like. I think the phrase "trapped in the wrong body" can be used in the same way. I've learned that expressing myself more simply is much better when wanting for cis people to get an understandable picture of what it's like for me to be trans. And to avoid metaphors, cause that just confuses people even more. But that's just my experience.

I definitely use a more crude and "old-fashioned" way of expressing myself when I talk to cis people about me being trans. That's, perhaps strangely, the way I prefer to talk about it. It feels more relaxed and straight to the point than using more complex expressions/words that really only are known about within the trans community. So I feel like I have to speak in ways I'm not comfortable with around other trans people a lot of the time. My view on sex/gender is a bit more rigid than the more modern view, with a binary thinking and very focused on the physical aspects. So I really don't mind using phrases like "trapped in the wrong body" or say I had a "sex change" or whatever.
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: PurpleWolf on April 30, 2018, 06:12:20 pm
Do you feel that way?
- Somewhat. I feel more like I'm trapped in the wrong gendered/sexed body. Cause it's just been the gendered aspects of it that have been wrong, not for example my eyes, hair colour, skin, etc. I'm more likely to say I was born as the wrong sex, and that has made me feel trapped in my own body.
And that is a great explanation!!! I've been thinking about this thread etc. and concluded myself that yeah, only the gendered aspects are wrong, and mainly it started feeling wrong at puberty when things started changing in the wrong direction...

Did you feel that way? When did you stop feeling that way, if ever?
- I'm not sure if I feel like that anymore now that I'm practically post-transition and much more comfortable with my body. That feeling of my body being wrong started fading sometime after top surgery, which was also around the same time as my effects from testosterone really started to take off and make me much more passable. It wasn't instant though, but a very slow change from feeling entirely "wrong" about my body to feeling more like "this is starting to feel right."
That's cool to know! And also consoling.

I think the same way about exlaining being trans and/or having dysphoria to people who don't know what that's like, aka cis people. Which is why I often say phrases like "I was born a girl but then became a man" cause even though that isn't entirely accurate, it's simple enough to understand and gets the point across, and then I can get into the finer details of how it feels and what transitioning is like. I think the phrase "trapped in the wrong body" can be used in the same way. I've learned that expressing myself more simply is much better when wanting for cis people to get an understandable picture of what it's like for me to be trans. And to avoid metaphors, cause that just confuses people even more. But that's just my experience.
Sure! Seems like a good approach  :). 
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: SeptagonScars on May 01, 2018, 03:51:47 pm
And that is a great explanation!!! I've been thinking about this thread etc. and concluded myself that yeah, only the gendered aspects are wrong, and mainly it started feeling wrong at puberty when things started changing in the wrong direction...
That's cool to know! And also consoling.
Sure! Seems like a good approach  :).

I got my first "sign" of my body being wrong a few years before my puberty, but it was more of a social aspect than my body itself, although it got me a bit aware of things not being entirely right. But yeah, having dysphoria has often given me that kind trapped feeling, but more trapped in my sex rather than the entirety of my body.
I'm glad it's consoling :)
It's just one approach, cause I'm sure there are more ways to go about that too.
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Eryn T on May 01, 2018, 05:09:10 pm
This is so enlightening hearing everyone's different points of view! And I did not know that, Hugh! That's really REALLY interesting!

I think I might definitely be in the minority here, but I am glad I was born male.  I don't know what my life would have been like if I were born female. Realistically, it wouldn't matter much, because the things I care about now might have been completely different.

I don't hate my body for what it is, I love and appreciate it for how it's going to help me become more feminine. I have like the flattest ass ever, but it's a little perky, too.  I have girly wrists, nothing super duper masculine to overcome, so I think in a way, my body knew this transition was going to come someday and was always waiting for it.

It's true that I used to scratch open my face and stuff, but this wasn't because I was trying to claw off my skin because I hated my body, it was because I hated my self. I just wasn't at harmony with myself because I didn't realize transition was even a possibility for me. Since I've started this journey most of my life-long 'ticks' have all but vanished!
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: PurpleWolf on May 02, 2018, 05:45:16 am
This is so enlightening hearing everyone's different points of view! And I did not know that, Hugh! That's really REALLY interesting!

I think I might definitely be in the minority here, but I am glad I was born male.  I don't know what my life would have been like if I were born female. Realistically, it wouldn't matter much, because the things I care about now might have been completely different.

I don't hate my body for what it is, I love and appreciate it for how it's going to help me become more feminine. I have like the flattest ass ever, but it's a little perky, too.  I have girly wrists, nothing super duper masculine to overcome, so I think in a way, my body knew this transition was going to come someday and was always waiting for it.

It's true that I used to scratch open my face and stuff, but this wasn't because I was trying to claw off my skin because I hated my body, it was because I hated my self. I just wasn't at harmony with myself because I didn't realize transition was even a possibility for me. Since I've started this journey most of my life-long 'ticks' have all but vanished!

Eryn, so cool to hear that  :D!
As you know I'm pre-T but just having that legal name change was HUGE for me!!! It made me feel validated as if I already transitioned. It's been just 2 months but I already tend to forget I look female at all  :D! I felt this giant inner PEACE knowing that I was able to do that and finally legally exist as me - and knowing I was gonna start the process finally  :). So for the first time in years I feel peace and no distress and have something to look forward to! It still feels surreal and amazing that people (like here) are able to see/think of me as a guy and that I'm finally able to do something about this! It feels like I woke up from a life-long nightmare and my dream is now my new reality  :D! It takes some time getting used to!
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Corrina on June 17, 2018, 10:22:50 pm
Right body wrong parts!
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Doreen on June 18, 2018, 02:34:03 am
Hmm trapped in the wrong body.  As I say that I look down AT my body.  Its not terrible.  Sure my boobs could be bigger, waist narrower.. hips bigger...

But then I look at the people around me too where I live.  Most if not all the cis women my age are much heavier, much less defined waistline & appearance.  Overall I've taken care of this body pretty well.  I've had a couple surgeries to make it fit 'my' profile better.

It could've been better, sure.. I could've been born 'right'.  Life isn't fair, never was.  I'm making the most of what I've been gifted with on this earth.. incredibly complicated biology notwithstanding.

I don't hate my body; I just wish it was.. cuter.. better.
Oh well.
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Shellie Hart on June 18, 2018, 08:31:14 am
Hmm trapped in the wrong body.  As I say that I look down AT my body.  Its not terrible.  Sure my boobs could be bigger, waist narrower.. hips bigger...

But then I look at the people around me too where I live.  Most if not all the cis women my age are much heavier, much less defined waistline & appearance.  Overall I've taken care of this body pretty well.  I've had a couple surgeries to make it fit 'my' profile better.

It could've been better, sure.. I could've been born 'right'.  Life isn't fair, never was.  I'm making the most of what I've been gifted with on this earth.. incredibly complicated biology notwithstanding.

I don't hate my body; I just wish it was.. cuter.. better.
Oh well.

Nailed it.

Same for me: "But then I look at the people around me too where I live."

For me, presenting as male outside home, I have noticed nearly all the males my age have developed very pronounced and obvious bellies. Many of them have guts hanging over their belts. To me this is disgusting. Then here is me with a very pronounced and protruding chest (breasts) with no belly at all. The difference, I know, is obvious to them. And I am conscious of it.

I don't think I would have allowed myself to "go" as they have if I was not trans. But still, I guess I have taken care of myself well enough not to go to hell physically as they have. Anyway, if I grow even another half cup size or so, I will be more than just a skinny guy with overly developed pecs under these baggy shirts....
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: AlexanderDS on July 22, 2018, 02:29:30 am
For me, the phrase rings true. Of course I have no idea whether that's because I've heard it so often and the cis perspective is always the dominant one - but I do feel like I'm trapped in the wrong body. Like a mistake was made at birth. I'd like a right of return, but alas.
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: Danielle Kristina on July 27, 2018, 11:58:20 pm
I’ve been wondering this for years!  While many MtF’s at very young ages insisted that they were really female, this wasn’t the case for me.  I believed myself to be a boy but secretly desired to be a girl, but that’s not the same as insisting that my gender is different than my sex.  I’m now 37 years old and as far back as I can remember I wanted to be a girl (no I was not intentionally pinning a Goodfellas quote), even throughout my adulthood.  But I still lived and believed myself to be male.  In the last few months I finally came to terms with the fact that I’m transgender.  So am I a man who wants to be a woman or am I a woman trapped in a man’s body???
Title: Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
Post by: alex82 on August 09, 2018, 12:00:44 pm
Yes I did, always. Coupled with a sense of rising panic.

It's the only real sign I had. No dysphoria as such. Until maybe 14 and I had to shave my face. Only really about that.

But a sense of being trapped in the wrong body, and a real rising panic from that which was sometimes overwhelming. Yes. A really frightening sensation.