Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Activism and Politics => Discrimination => Topic started by: Tatiana 79 on April 25, 2018, 01:43:24 pm

Title: I used discrimination to work for me
Post by: Tatiana 79 on April 25, 2018, 01:43:24 pm
Hello everyone it's tatiana although I'm brand new here I had to share this. I live in a tiny village of about 200 in the middle of nowhere up in the north woods the kind of town where everybody knows everyone. For the last several years I have been hiding my long hair under my hat or cap but because I'm almost ready for h r t I thought I would start wearing my hair down in female type styles. When an older gentleman that I know seen me with my hair like this for the very first time he snered  at me and said do you know you're wearing your hair like a girl and my response was merely DA. I know he wasn't expecting this and he looked like a deer caught in headlights I think he was hoping to embarrass and humiliate me but it had the opposite results and made me more confident and Powerful. Now this is my first encounter of this nature and I didn't try to make excuses or explain myself to him I'm merely thought this is my life to live as I want not to conform to his ideas I used his discrimination against him and you know what it sure worked and I will continue this type of action the next time it happens. Keep in mind this is my first Act of this nature so take it as you will but I just had to see if anyone else use these tactics and what they thought about them because it sure worked for me and I'm hoping it can work for someone else too by throwing back the unexpected truth at him. Any input would be greatly.    Love Tatiana
Title: Re: I used discrimination to work for me
Post by: Tatiana 79 on April 26, 2018, 06:33:22 am
Hello everyone with the light of a new day beeming in I realized the majority of you are urban dwellers and the topic I started must seem incredibly hickish compared to discrimination that happens in the big city. But I have seen discrimination on a huge scale but of a different nature. Growing up in the most racist suburb of Detroit and remembering things things like the 68 riots unfortunately imprinted me with the wrongness of picking on one race and that it just felt so unfair and so wrong. Even at a young age it didn't sit well with me and that it is incredibly wrong and unfair. I just  wanted to explain my topic to all of those that who might feel that the tropic I started is a drop in the bucket and insignificantly small compared to what happens in the big city. But up here in Tatianas little world the experience I mentioned in my post felt really large.
Title: Re: I used discrimination to work for me
Post by: Devlyn on April 26, 2018, 06:46:28 am
Big hug! Good on ya, it IS a big deal.  :)

I'm from Boston, the discrimination around here is more likely to be seen in the suburbs than downtown. Thanks for sharing your experience with us.  :)

Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: I used discrimination to work for me
Post by: MaryT on April 26, 2018, 06:57:54 am
Actually, I found your original post very inspiring.  I wrote an appreciative reply yesterday but decided that you were really asking for replies from members who had done the same thing, so I removed my post.

I imagine that discrimination in a small town could be much worse than in a big city, as in a city there are nearly always others of our kind and in a small town there is nowhere to run.

I hope that you keep us posted and that other members share similar experiences.
Title: Re: I used discrimination to work for me
Post by: Tatiana 79 on April 26, 2018, 01:36:20 pm
  I would like to thank Devlyn and Mary very much for responding to me. I never really felt like I ever belonged to a group, like school work or even home. But I feel I'm gaining some acceptance here  and starting to feel a sence of belonging to a group for the first time.    Hey Devlyn I really ment to say Duh instead of Da or Ya but they all really mean the same thing.   And to Mary your so right there is no where to hid in a small town but every one is used to me allways dressing up as a girl for Halloween for many years and sometimes even days in advance. But of course never the same look. That it shouldn't be too big of a surprise except for a few. Gossip in a small town is unbelievable it's probably going on about me right now because I just exposed my long hair that I was hiding and I'm wearing it a little more femmie  each day !  And it would have been just fine if you responded with your initial thoughts. I wasn't looking for something super specific just people's input but I probably worded it wrong. And of course I'll keep you posted the journey is just beginning.  Thank you both love Tatiana
Title: Re: I used discrimination to work for me
Post by: Lady Sarah on April 26, 2018, 05:44:08 pm
I really hope things go well for you. Things did not go so well for me when I lived about 12 miles outside of a California town in the late 1980s with a population of 265. Being shot at spelled the end of my stay there. I was not on HRT yet at that time. Tiny towns have their appeal, as well as peril. After being passable, I found myself once again living in a tiny town.  Best of luck to you.
Title: Re: I used discrimination to work for me
Post by: Donna on April 26, 2018, 06:07:02 pm
Damn being shot at. That’s a hell of a way to say I don’t agree with what you are doing.
I would move quick too.
Tatiana, having a quick response or just being straight forward honest will catch most jerk by surprise. Like you said he was very likely looking for a negative reaction and didn’t get it.
Keep on posting , you will love it here
Title: Re: I used discrimination to work for me
Post by: Tatiana 79 on April 26, 2018, 07:25:50 pm
    Thanks Lady Sarah and Donna for replying and your advice.  I'm very sorry that you had such a bad experience Sarah that's just horrible but I hope the times have changed and I think they have since the 80s. The little town I live in looks the same since the 80s but I'm betting most people are more open-minded than then because if not there is going to be a Clash because I'm not going anywhere just because I can't pass. Honestly I really don't care all I care about is being more functional and feeling better about myself. I refuse to abide by other people's standards then my own. I really appreciate both of your advice I know that you're far more experienced than I am and I hope I'm not caught in a over exuberance type of mode right now but everyday I'm dipping my toe in a little deeper and it'll be up to me to decide how deep to go. I get along with everybody just fine and I will test this out on them as sure is the Suns going to rise tomorrow morning. There is absolutely no stopping me now I'll feed off of any negativity if presented but I believe most will support me. Thank you very much for your concern love Tatiana