Topic: Non-Binary Introductions

[voidbird]

It seems to me like this generation of kids is going to think we're pretty close to normal by the time they've grown up. 

I've been hearing about mail delays happening too.  Mail delays plus megastorms plus who knows what . . .

[EZ Linus]

Thank you for the welcome voidbird. I really appreciate it!

I was a professional drummer for about 15 years before I had to retire due to illness, but I continued to play for a long time. I became a full-time fine artist after that and have been doing that for more than 20 years now. I always did both, but the art wasn't a career until I had to stop playing music, which has been very bittersweet. I also wrote songs, which I don't do much of anymore either. It's hard to focus on more than one thing at a time. I also write, so that's a whole other waxy ball.

I've been looking for surgeons this past week. I only just came out to my regular PCP doc a few days ago. It's not that I was really in the closet, but I never told him because I'd never seriously sought out getting top surgery until now. It's been complicated. Now that my girlfriend has come out (last week), many things have changed. She wasn't supportive of me having the surgery when she was male. Now she is. It's like her coming out has given me a new lease.

I have state insurance, so my options are limited, but I'm looking into someone in San Diego and am hoping I can go there because it would be a couple of hours to drive there.

How long have you been playing music?

[voidbird]

I'm a proudly failed musician.  Spent about 10 years in Portland and NYC giving it a try, counted up the money, realized it wasn't enough to buy a subway pass, and figured out a backup plan.  I'm an architect now, which has worked out pretty well.  I have my own practice, which means I can earn a living w/o workplace discrimination.  I think I might even be able to be out, professionally, once I've finished bringing family into the loop.  I came out to my stepson and his wife yesterday.  They work in a university, so they're a bit more trans-aware than usual, and what I was telling them made sense to them.  So I still have a bit of a happy buzz from that.

Even with the challenges, it must feel good to have the support that you've been needing for so long.  (Well, I imagine there are probably a lot of different feelings going on).  Something a little like that happened for me when a different stepkid came out as genderqueer about 4 years ago -- I think it helped gradually to open up more room for me to be what I am.  Also helped me, a lot, to realize that was a choice one could make.

I wonder if there's anywhere people can post art here?  I absolutely love seeing trans artists' work.  (Not that I'm assuming you'd want to post, as a full-time artist.  That's quite an achievement in itself).

Best of luck finding your surgeon.  I'm sure everything is at a higher degree of difficulty than normal right now.

[EZ Linus]

I'm a proudly failed musician.  Spent about 10 years in Portland and NYC giving it a try, counted up the money, realized it wasn't enough to buy a subway pass, and figured out a backup plan.  I'm an architect now, which has worked out pretty well.  I have my own practice, which means I can earn a living w/o workplace discrimination.  I think I might even be able to be out, professionally, once I've finished bringing family into the loop.  I came out to my stepson and his wife yesterday.  They work in a university, so they're a bit more trans-aware than usual, and what I was telling them made sense to them.  So I still have a bit of a happy buzz from that.

Even with the challenges, it must feel good to have the support that you've been needing for so long.  (Well, I imagine there are probably a lot of different feelings going on).  Something a little like that happened for me when a different stepkid came out as genderqueer about 4 years ago -- I think it helped gradually to open up more room for me to be what I am.  Also helped me, a lot, to realize that was a choice one could make.

I wonder if there's anywhere people can post art here?  I absolutely love seeing trans artists' work.  (Not that I'm assuming you'd want to post, as a full-time artist.  That's quite an achievement in itself).

Best of luck finding your surgeon.  I'm sure everything is at a higher degree of difficulty than normal right now.

voidbird,

We have so much in common. I am impressed that you are running your own practice and getting by. That is an achievement too. Working as an artist full-time is really difficult because I never know when I'll sell. I have to live on state disability, then when I sell anything, it gets even more super tricky as you might imagine. The state wants you to make zero dollars, but they expect you to live on $900 a month.

And we also have the newly coming out thing in common as well. I didn't think I was all that closeted really, but I suppose, now that I'm looking for a surgeon, it's becoming "news," and now that my girlfriend is publicly out, that kind of outs me too! I had to tell my brother earlier this week (about my girlfriend), but I didn't mention my surgery thing. One thing at a time, right? I told him I was non-binary and pan-sexual, but I don't think he understands what all that means.

Today, I'm writing a blog post that details my situation. I haven't posted it yet and am a little nervous about it. Once you sell out changing your actual body, things get rather personal. On one hand, it's no one's business. On the other hand, it sucks to keep "hiding."

Don't call yourself a failed musician. I call myself an ex-drummer. Sounds better like I quit by choice. I still have my drums in a giant flight case. I've almost sold them, then couldn't bring myself to do it.

If I posted my art, I think that's outing myself even more! Is there a way to private message on here?

[RandyL]

If I posted my art, I think that's outing myself even more! Is there a way to private message on here?

Hi Linus, it looks like you've hit 15 posts, which if I remember correctly is the threshold for sending private messages.

Good luck with your art.
Randy

Sent from my dual-floppy Victor 9000 using Tapatalk

[EZ Linus]

Hi Linus, it looks like you've hit 15 posts, which if I remember correctly is the threshold for sending private messages.

Good luck with your art.
Randy

Sent from my dual-floppy Victor 9000 using Tapatalk

Thanks Randy. I was able to do that. I just now figured out how to post an avitar and now I am still figuring out how to put some kind of signature, or make my gender say "non-binary," but that isn't a choice in the dropdown. hmmm.

[Sometimes Alice]

Hi Everyone, been having a read up of the forum since I joined up yesterday, and thought it might be a good idea to introduce myself here. I make a post in the welcome page that goes into a lot of the "about me", so I won't cover the same ground again.

In short, I've recently come to the realisation that my gender is not completely male - I've had previous history of dressing as a woman and being quite feminine in small ways, but dismissed it to myself as being "a phase". I've been doing a lot of thinking about "who I am" in the last few weeks as I hit a milestone birthday not long ago. I reckon I may be genderfluid as I feel there's two sides to me (hence my forum name of "Sometimes Alice"), but I want to work it out and be sure.

As things stand right now, I'm not considering going through anything medical, but I'd like to explore the female side of me that I've been ignoring for many years. It's all very confusing right now so I'll probably be asking a lot of questions and getting advice! There's not really much going on in my local area, so wouldn't have a clue as to where to go for help.

Hope to get to you all (and me) a little better!

Alice 

[FloralAlyssa]

Welcome!  I hope you are able to find whatever path makes you happy.

[Sometimes Alice]

Thank you, Alyssa. The last few days thinking and researching has been a bit of an eye opener for me. I'm kind of relieved but also anxious at the same time. Very strange feeling!

[Froodah]

I'm a make-up artist.

I have a certification in make-up artistry, from Melbourne, Australia.

Learning to compliment different facial structures is difficult.

Also hearsay about the best and worst products from beauty brands.

I also love the retail experience of purchasing make-up, I would love to work at a counter but have only worked freelance.

They love the packaging and colors, scents and smells of cosmetics aswell.

Gotta catch em all! (The Pokemon trademark). But need to collect all the make-up.

[Tessa James]

Hey Enbies!  How nice to hear from some old friends and new voices here too.  As EZ Linus noted, this place needs a non binary gender marker.  The largest survey of trans peeps to date in the US found over a third of us checking the non binary box.  Language is malleable and our culture is coming to terms with the truth that many of us are in the middle, for want of a better term. 

Some people remain focused on the binary as their personal or political goal.  Those of us with diverse genders and orientation may continue to face discrimination from within the queer community when people who are non binary, bisexual or pansexual are seen as not enough.

Youth is where I see hope as so many young people are comfortable with new ideas and can see beyond the two gender boxes and other restrictive binaries.  Thank you all for being here and coming out with your personal truths.