Author Topic: First entry  (Read 3095 times)

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Madison Leigh

First entry
« on: August 09, 2012, 12:51:50 am »
First let me say thanks for the opportunity to blog here.  While I guess I could've set one up elsewhere, I do feel very comfortable here and I greatly appreciate all of those that have contributed to that feeling.  I'm normally a very private person - although my therapist would probably prefer the term introverted. :)

I did have another appointment with Kelly - my therapist - today (well yesterday now).  I was happy that I was able to go as Madison as I have done so each time, but with my first laser treatment on my face yesterday I wasn't sure how my face would be this morning, but it was in pretty good shape.  This session was different than normal in that generally they start out with her asking if I had anything I wanted to revisit from prior sessions and then generally it moves on to whatever I want to talk about.  Today she said she wanted to fill in some things as she has started on my letter.  I've read some experiences of the therapist just writing something "short and sweet" for lack of a better term, in this case I get the feeling she's writing something more in detail.  Perhaps that's overkill, but she has been doing this for a while so I'm not going to debate her methods as I've been very happy seeing her.

That being said, I did bring up me broaching this with my boss.  As I've said in a post on the therapy board, I work from home and my boss is based halfway across the country so I'm left with realistically bringing this up via either phone or email.  Both have their merits, but I am leaning towards email as I can compose my thoughts better and not get side tracked or interrupted.  Additionally, I would think it would allow my boss time to "process" what I have to say and not require any "immediate" response like a phone call (or in person) would.  We are small enough we don't have a HR or Personnel department, so I am dealing directly with him as my boss (and the minority ownership partner). 

Kelly did suggest I might benefit from speaking with somebody who has went through this and she's made arrangements for me to speak with someone who works at a large corporation here who is fairly close in age (a few years older), has successfully transitioned at work, and has even help develop HR policies on doing so.  Now granted it's obviously a *large* company and I work for a very *small* one but I felt that it definitely couldn't hurt so I agreed to do so.  I did receive confirmation from Kelly this afternoon that she had spoken to her and she was more than happy to speak with me, so hopefully we can arrange for that in the near future.

As we went to wrap up and schedule my next visit - Kelly did broach bringing my wife and/or daughter to a session - or at least part of one.  Again I believe it's so she can assert that my "support" is there and for a brief moment that frustrated me as my wife and daughter have been incredibly supportive which I've communicated.  It almost felt like she didn't "believe" me; but as I sat there for a few seconds I decided it's simply her doing her "due diligence" and got over it.  I have no qualms having my wife come with me, she rides down there with me (it's a 45 minute drive each way so it's nice to have somebody in the car to talk to) and frankly I think it would be good for my wife to meet Kelly since while I don't go into gory details of my sessions I do touch on certain things.  My daughter on the other hand - well I initially declined doing that - but after thinking about it some this evening I guess there's not really a good reason not to bring her to a session.  I am curious if anyone else's therapists have asked for SO's or children to come to a session.

Now I guess it's back to "waiting".  I have moved to every other week appointments - it was initially my plan to do so, but I made the original appointment a week too early, so I was able to go to the second one the next week as I was on vacation, and then this week my boss was on vacation so I was able to take an extended lunch with no issues and make it three weeks in a row.  After my prior session I had hoped I'd have my letter not at this one, but at the following one; but I'm starting to think it may likely be the one after that.  I suppose that's not really a big deal, and actually it gives me an extra bit of time to deal with work.  I had initially planned on going on HRT and work on at least the hair on my face for several months before addressing work.  However, as therapy is going better/quicker than I thought it would (I thought I'd have had only one session by now but I've had three) I settled on addressing my boss once I was "approved" for HRT. 

The thought process (which I talked about elsewhere) basically boils down to I'd like to know if it's going to work out at my current job.  I do love my job and would hate to leave it voluntarily or otherwise, but if this won't work out there I'd rather know now than later; and right now with the commitments we have and such even if it doesn't go well I've got a little more security than I would've a few months back or a few months from now.  Obviously I (as can almost anybody) can be replaced, but right now it would be more difficult than most of the time, so while I don't want to make it sound like I'm trying to take advantage - I look at it more as protecting myself somewhat.

I guess I've babbled on long enough.  If anybody has made it this far, thank you very much.  :icon_chick: