Confused soul

[Tyler]

hey, alright heres my story so far...
When i was about 8 years old i had feelings, that i wasn't like other boys, not serious issues or anything, but i found myself longing to hang around with more females, had more things in commen..
I am not very social person and had major issues with school, missed enough school 2 not make really any friends, now in highschool, with just afew guy friends that have slowly made it into my life over the years, never had a chance 2 make female friends, had afew when i was yonger but they moved away b4 i was 10.. Quite recently i been longing for some friends where i could share this with, if i was able to make some female friends i would be able to find if i fit in better, and would be able 2 experement..
And im not sure if my frends would understand if i told them anything.

Im 17 now and still havn't talked to anyone about TS issues, I have crossdressed in past, very hard for me 2 get ahold of clothing tho.
Still trying to find out where i belong, This is hard 2 explain, I feel comfortable on my body, but i truly have a longing inside me, something that despritly wants to express itself.. I am ok with being boy but just as much as me, if not more wants 2 be female, and i cant deside which path 2 choose, and i really scared to go public with this cause if i do and some therapist says that im still boy and will never change, then i revealed this secret, and im scared my family wont treat me the same way aggain..


Another question i had, If i started taking hormones at 17, or early 18, would i suffer from major effects from trans later in teens? I mean no offence, and hope i have not offended anyone by this, hope this made sence to all of u, just trying to get this all down.

[stephanie_craxford]

Hello Tyler,

Welcome to Susan's, your story is like many others here, but that doesn't diminish the effect that these issues have on the individuals concerned.  Discovering who and what you are is a difficult thing especially when you are dealing with human emotions, and on top of that, teen emotions.  Just a little something to add to your confusion, as if being a teen wasn't trouble enough. 

But don't fret, there is no need to go rushing headlong into something until you are surer of who you are, and I would strongly advise against coming out to anyone before this.  Doing so before you are sure about who or what you are can have disaterous and sometimes tragic consequences.  There are great resources available here at Susan's for you to research, especially the Wiki which can be found here: https://www.susans.org/wiki/ .  Browse around the site and get as much info as you can, and if there is anything you need advice on or if you just want to chat, rant, or you have questions, post it here and I know you will get replies.

As far as conversations on hormones, none of us would take offence on that so don't worry on that score, you can discuss them but be sure to read the rules that govern Susan's, found here:   https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html , and then return to the Wiki and check out the topics on hormones, they are very complete and should answer most of the questions you may initially have.

We're a pretty friendly bunch here with a whole lot of different opinions and views, take advantage of us, and enjoy your stay, you are amoung friends.

Again welcome Tyler, and I'm sure we'll chat later,

Steph

[Debtv]

Hi Tyler,

It's normal to be confused at 17 yrs old. You have plenty of time to find yourself...so don't rush it. Be carefull to do things that you cannot undo. Jut relax, study and you will find your path

Oh and btw, there are more than just 2 gender paths...it does not have to be either or...for example I feel I'm both genders and I'm very happy about it.

Good luck
DebTV

[Cassandra]

Hi Tyler,

Great words of wisdom from two of the best gals on the site. Heed their advice. You are young and you should take your time to learn who you really are. With the resources you have here the search for your true path just got a little easier. There is absolutely no reason to go rushing out and revealing yourself before you are certain who that is. Once the cat is out of the bag it is very difficult to put it back again and you will get scratched in the process.

Welcome to Susan's take part in the threads and don't be afraid to start your own topics too. So fix yourself a cup of tea or other realxing beverage, sit down, take your shoes off and set a spell.

Good Journey,

Cassie

[Shelley]

Hy Tyler,

Welcome to Susan's. I agree totally with Deb as I too feel that I am both genders. Where you ultimately will end up is through your own choices. I think however those choices may be a little easier if you share the experiences of those who frequent here. I use the metaphor of trying on shirts to see what fits. Some of the experiences will not fit while others will go very close. Take your time and share with us here. You'll find we're a pretty friendly lot.

Shelley