UNCONDITIONAL "LOVE"

[Angela???]

Also that some parents have and are willing to sacrifice their life in order to save their child/ren"

I could never envisage not loving my children...

Sadly it would seem for some parents their love and loyalties lie elsewhere, like with their church and or religious community, where their unconditional love [based upon 'blind faith'] seems to lie. and if one of their children were to displays signs of "non-conforming" behaviour , they would rather disown their own flesh and blood than to go against the community or church doctrine ...Their love for their children is 'conditional' "Conform or else !"

I would give my life to save my children, would not think twice about it! They are my world and I love them all dearly!

The sad reality is you are spot on!

I was raised in the so call Christian faith and had to "Comform or else!".

I was never allowed to be me!

I was belted for telling the truth!

I ended up hating my father for many years, these days if he >-bleeped-<'s me I tell him.

I ripped my father apart about his so call religion, to the point he now no longer go's to church.

In my experience the so call Christians are not trust worthy! I have Non-Christians friends that are more trustworthy than them.

This I personaly find very sad!

I know most Christains are not like this but this is my experience with growing up in a Christain family. I had enough problems growing up, I didn't need belting, I needed loving! Not that that ever happened.

SO, I do not bring my children up like I was, I show my children my love, by holding them tight, NOT belting them! I was frightened of my father growing up,  and I'm very glad that my children are not scared of me, they come to me for some lovings! And I tell them "I LOVE YOU!" all the time!

Angela

[Anatta]

Kia Ora Bailey,

Many thanks for your response, that is, how you see things regarding "unconditional love" It's very thought provoking[not that I need my thoughts provoked]

My reply is somewhat generic:

You make some valid and interesting points, regarding this psycho-physical phenomenon we label the human being[I also like the Zen and Taoism bit at the end of your post   "like the word Zen is not Zen, like the Tao that can be named is not the eternal Tao!"]..

However unconditional love will for some go way beyond scientific understanding and into the realms of ones personal 'spiritual' understanding/belief...In other words beyond the mundane intellect of science and biology  and into the workings of the all-encompassing  'mind'

In Buddhism the mind is viewed as a non-physical phenomenon which perceives, thinks, recognises, experiences and reacts to the environment.

There are two main aspects of the mind they are clarity and knowing; the mind is formless clear,  and allows for objects to arise in it, and it is the knowing, the awareness,/consciousness which can engage with objects.

And from a Buddhist perspective, unconditional love requires the practice of non-attachment, that is non attachment from self-centred motivations, meaning Buddhist compassion involves detached and disinterested affection, but this does not mean lack of empathy towards others..

It is a self-less expression of care, which refer to one striving to destroy the attachment to the 'self'-illusion. By transcending all "conditional" loves, This comes about by changing ones behaviour and 'thinking' hence taming and re-programming the mind...

Unconditional love involves non-attachment because there can be no self-centred motivation in a life of true love. Hence if one can achieve this then one has reached "Buddha Nature"

However this is just how many involved in Buddhism views "unconditional" love...Much is in agreement with your finding Bailey..

So in a nutshell : "Buddhist philosophy teaches that true love is free from attachment and emotional dependence. Love is unconditional, the need of reciprocity is mere passion!  The greatest lesson of Buddhism is that detachment does not mean that loving is meaningless. Rather, detachment is the state of mind that allows people to love even more, abundantly, and for the right reasons – because every single living being is a small part of the same universal body and not loving the neighbour would be the same as not loving oneself.!"


In the mundane "conditioned" world in which we live, it's true when we use the term "unconditional love" it may not fit with the Buddhist interpretation, however how a person chooses to interpret "unconditional love" can not be dismissed, it's 'real' for the beholder of these thoughts and feelings ...   

Metta Zenda

[Anatta]

I would give my life to save my children, would not think twice about it! They are my world and I love them all dearly!



SO, I do not bring my children up like I was, I show my children my love, by holding them tight, NOT belting them! I was frightened of my father growing up,  and I'm very glad that my children are not scared of me, they come to me for some lovings! And I tell them "I LOVE YOU!" all the time!

Angela

Kia Ora Angela,

Sorry to hear how you were treated by your father, but glad to hear the cycle is well and truly broken when it comes to your own children...

Metta Zenda

[Anatta]

I've had a bit of experience with unconditional love, since I am one of those odd human beings for whom it is their default way of relating to people. (I wouldn't recommend it, by the way, unless you have a very high tolerance for pain).
I won't argue semantics, however fun that may be, but will just offer something I learned from a long life of loving living (and formerly living) beings. I will summarize with the mantra I wrote 22 years ago to remind myself of the lesson:



True love is always adapting to circumstance and to the changing of the hearts/minds/souls/bodies/lives of the beings involved. (When love becomes rigid/frozen/unbending it becomes destructive, and morphs into something that no longer acts like love at all.)

Unconditional love requires that our relationships change as the people in the relationship, and their circumstances, change.

If I love you, I only want a relationship between us that is healthy for us both, and conducive to both our long term well-beings.

There are times when true, unconditional love requires one to withhold their affection, encouragement, approval, or support because to continue it would do harm to the person loved. I have been on both ends of this, and it isn't pleasant, but can attest that it can be necessary.

There are even times when true, unconditional love REQUIRES that a relationship with the one you love be severed.

Kia Ora MadelineB,

So true...One must "Go with the flow" of love...

Metta Zenda