Author Topic: suicide after transitioning  (Read 13212 times)

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Offline happydays55

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suicide after transitioning
« on: March 20, 2013, 12:53:04 am »
Why is the suicide rate so high for guys after they transition?  Every day I hear about someone committing suicide who had been on hormones for a while.

I've been on hormones and have had top surgery for about two years.  I am extremely depressed.  I guess I can figure out reasons for it - hard to date, alone, want bottom surgery,etc.

However, my family didn't disown me.  I haven't been harassed or anything but I am more suicidal then ever.  Does that mean I shouldn't have transitioned?  Maybe I do have a mental disorder...I just don't understand.  I just don't really want to be alive any more.

Also, tired of being depressed.  I am seeing a therapist but I still have a lot of hatred and hopelessness for myself.  And I really want phalloplasty! Wish I had a good job...better yet, wish I never had to go through any of this...

Sorry for being negative.  Thanks for reading.

Offline Nero

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Re: suicide after transitioning
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2013, 01:16:46 am »
Why is the suicide rate so high for guys after they transition?

I've never heard of this.
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Offline Arch

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Re: suicide after transitioning
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2013, 02:30:53 am »
I've run across one or two guys mentioned online who killed themselves after transition (or after starting transition). I've never known anyone IRL who did it.

I was suicidal for a while when I was pretty well into transition, but my life had just been turned upside down. It was a bad time.

I still have depression issues, but they seem to be unconnected to trans stuff because I still get winter depression, and I still get depressed after binging on certain foods. But I also get depressed about not being done yet. I feel stuck because my parts are still wrong. I can't be open to the idea of a relationship until I've had the whole bottom surgery thing...and I worry that I'll still be too self-conscious about my body after I am done.

If you are planning on bottom surgery, then you haven't fully transitioned yet--have you? How many of these suicides are committed by guys who really aren't done? Frankly, I feel that if a guy needs bottom surgery and can't have it yet, he has a lot to be depressed about.

Do you trust your therapist? Are you keeping him or her in the loop?
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Offline Nero

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Re: suicide after transitioning
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2013, 03:21:53 am »
Arch has a point - for some guys dysphoria can get more intense after their body changes and the genital area stands out by contrast.
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Offline tomthom

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Re: suicide after transitioning
« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2013, 03:26:39 am »
Suicide rates when comparing males and females are 4 to 1 (aggregated from multiple transnational studies). I think it may have to do with the pressure that is being male. It sucks enough to drive people to that, trans or not.

So really, this is kind of expected in a horribly morbid way.
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CindyJames

Re: suicide after transitioning
« Reply #5 on: March 20, 2013, 03:46:02 am »
If I can comment on a guys thread.


This is a critical reason we all need psychiatric / therapist follow up. We go through these radical changes and sometimes have the perception that 'bingo' that's it; 'I can live my life and finally be happy'. But there are still problems, we have to adapt and get used to feelings and emotions we never had before and fit into society in a different way.

We have been living under terrible stress for years, even if we had got used to it. The effect of those years of stress are still on us. It takes time and care to get over it; and it isn't trivial.

Just look at the armed forces people coming back from a tour - for which they have been trained for - and the incidence of stress.

I think we all have to be careful and take care of our brothers and sisters after transition as much, if not more, as before.

 I started to worry about this. I have had a very smooth and happy 'rebirth' and have assimilated incredibly well.  I have to be careful. Do I create depression and bad thoughts among woman who have not had my experience? 

I think this would be the same with guys. I'm very blessed with knowing several transmen in Adelaide and the only reason I know they are transmen is because they told me. Guys generally pass so well, but how does a 'new ' trans guy feel when he meets guys who have been out for years?

Do they think, 'Oh god one day I'll pass as well as him' or do they say ' '<poo> I'll never pass as well as him what's the use on going on?'

I think we need to be as supportive, if not more suppoerive for post trans* people as for people who are still to take the plunge, and we need to empathise that therapy doesn't stop until you want it too, or until your therapists thinks so.


Sorry for interrupting. It happens to be an area I'm interested in

Cindy

Offline Nero

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Re: suicide after transitioning
« Reply #6 on: March 20, 2013, 04:00:11 am »
Suicide rates when comparing males and females are 4 to 1 (aggregated from multiple transnational studies). I think it may have to do with the pressure that is being male. It sucks enough to drive people to that, trans or not.

So really, this is kind of expected in a horribly morbid way.

It is supposedly just that males are more likely to succeed at suicide because they choose more violent methods such as gunshot. It's harder to come back from a gunshot than from pills like many women choose. Though I agree that the male role is very stifling and a lot of pressure.
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Offline Natkat

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Re: suicide after transitioning
« Reply #7 on: March 20, 2013, 03:17:28 pm »
I haven't heard suicide rate being higher after transition than before, and if its the caise I would like to see documents.
But I have heard that suicide rate is general hight amount GLBTQ folks and specially amount transpeople and mostly for those who been denyed from there famely.

in some way it seams logical to me. Transgender folks are one of the most volnuable minority groups in the world, who is most likely to die by suicide, or hate crime.

transfolks generally face alot of problems, both on body and soul I belive your to get injures who even after transition can leave some scars, and even if your considered in the lucky categori your still going to fight and it will exhaust you in a time. we really gonna fight alot, and be so perfect, its very difficult to be so perfect, and still fight so much. I belive people who go stealth are manly doing so there to deal less with those problem, but on the other hand this can also leads to lonelyness overtime.

I agree alot on what Cindy says, I think theres alot of diffrent reasons why transpeople commite suicide, but in the long run I belive, alot of problems + less suport, will be the main reason.

I also belive some people tend to be depressed if they expect all there problems to be gone after transition, and notice its not like that.


AdamMLP

Re: suicide after transitioning
« Reply #8 on: March 20, 2013, 04:11:55 pm »
If there is no research been done of this, and it is just done by personal observation, then I would suspect that we are just paying more attention to the suicides of other trans people. They're also more likely to get media coverage, how many people commit suicide - or just generally die - everyday that no one knows about and it is not published anywhere? Unless you're in some way "interesting" no one gives a stuff except those immediately close to you. People committing suicide after transitioning is something which I can imagine transphobic people love to quote as a reason why we're all crazy and it's the most terrible sin on earth to want to be ourselves.

Offline Jayr

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Re: suicide after transitioning
« Reply #9 on: March 20, 2013, 04:18:11 pm »
I'm guessing from what I've seen,
lots of guys and girls think transition will solve all their life problems..
Only after they transition they finally realize that's not the case.

That kind of slap to the face could send some folks over the edge.
I don't know. It's an idea.






Offline Sarah Louise

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Re: suicide after transitioning
« Reply #10 on: March 20, 2013, 04:42:43 pm »
I did know one girl from another site who went into a deep depression and had to be hospitalized for several months after surgery.

She had finally met her goal of surgery, but didn't have any plan for after surgery.  She wasn't ready to face life without a goal.

Something everyone should think about.
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Offline aleon515

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Re: suicide after transitioning
« Reply #11 on: March 20, 2013, 10:17:15 pm »
Transition would also be considered a major life stressor (regardless of how well it goes). I don't know that it is just guys who have either done or attempted this. I also think there is a tendency to think it might solve all your problems. I have heard of trans folks becoming very depressed because it does not really solve everything.

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Offline insideontheoutside

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Re: suicide after transitioning
« Reply #12 on: March 20, 2013, 11:37:11 pm »
Some good points brought up here.

@happydays55 don't let transition (or what you still have left to do) rule your whole life. I think there's a tendency to let that take over ... to be so focused on it and so relying on it (especially getting through certain stages of it) to flip a magical, "I'm ok!" switch.

One of the reasons I'm not transitioning is I know myself pretty well by this point and I know that wouldn't solve my particular issues. So I explore various ways to work on those issues, but I never lose sight of things that actually make me happy ... that make me forget about the issues and just live and enjoy life. I get depressed now and then. Everyone does. It's a natural human state. But when it happens a lot and it becomes the norm, we may need a little external help to get back out of it.

You said, "I am seeing a therapist but I still have a lot of hatred and hopelessness for myself." It seems you're aware of what's making you depressed though? the longest journey begins with a single step. You're already multiple steps along. I'm sure it's normal to question whether this journey is right for you when feeling like this, but there are always choices available. You can go backward, you can go forward, you can go sideways off in some other direction, you can stop. Focus on what your goals are. Focus on what would make you happy in not only just matters of transition, but life in general.
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Re: suicide after transitioning
« Reply #13 on: March 21, 2013, 01:25:27 am »
Because transition isn't a magical fix-all solution.  It can and often does make quality of life better but it won't fix all your problems, you have to put in some effort.



Offline henrytwob

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Re: suicide after transitioning
« Reply #14 on: March 23, 2013, 12:13:21 am »
Actually there is a great deal of research on mental health/therapy and the glbtq community. Many of the above posters are spot on, suicide levels tend to be higher for females, but males are more successful at it - that is for non-<transgender> folks at least.

There are many reasons most already mentioned on why depression may be higher for glbtq teens and adults. Additionally, there is difficulty getting mental health care, many therapists do not understand, or are not comfortable treating this population.

I'm glad you have a therapist, however major depression is best treated with talk therapy and psychotropic medication, usually an SSRI or an SNRI. Even if it is outside stressors the chemical make balance of the brain can change. You may want to see a psychiatrist. Depending on where you live you may be able just to see your GP and she or he will prescribe a med to treat your depression. Most studies support the idea of medication and therapy as optimal for treatment of depression.

Offline SunKat

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Re: suicide after transitioning
« Reply #15 on: March 23, 2013, 01:58:19 am »
If there is no research been done of this, and it is just done by personal observation, then I would suspect that we are just paying more attention to the suicides of other trans people. They're also more likely to get media coverage, how many people commit suicide - or just generally die - everyday that no one knows about and it is not published anywhere?

I think this leads to a good point.  The 'visible' trans suicides are those of individuals who are out, transitioned or transitioning.  This leaves out the many 'invisible' trans suicides... individuals who suffer from being transgender and die without ever letting society or their loved ones know how they feel. 

I often wonder how many us who have considered suicide before transitioning would never have been suspected of being trans after our death... and how many of our families would have covered it up if they had suspected.  For every identified trans suicide we see in the news, how many others are never identified as such. 

I think folks tend to forget that our community includes more than just those who are out or actively transitioning.  It includes those who are still struggling to come to terms with being trans.  As bad as transgender suicide statistics may be, they are probably worse.  Over and over, I see transitioning individuals refer to their choice as 'transition or die'...  How many others choose death without ever coming to a forum or seeing a therapist, or even telling their family or friends.  How many risk their lives in the military, on the streets, taking drugs... or any of the many other ways we try to kill ourselves or dull our feelings without actively committing suicide.   And how many pass through these forums, unable to post the despair that they feel before disappearing to who knows what end.



Tags: Suicide ftm hormones