Will I ever get over my fear of the men's room? (FTM)

[ratkingleo]

Hey.
I'm pretty new to this website, and forums in general. I'm 17, (almost 18,) living in Texas. Ever since I was little, I would "accidentally" want to go into the men's room.  However, since coming out, I have become very uncomfortable with my appearance and since I live in such a conservative state I'm very afraid of using the bathroom that matches my gender. I think I've gone to the men's room once, while I was out of state in Virginia. I have a fear of cis adult men that comes along with trauma. I'm very, very afraid of being in an enclosed space where if I was to get outed, unintentionally or otherwise, I feel like I could get physically harmed. Is this just me? Am I going to be able to get over this fear? Keep in mind, I have terrible social anxiety. If someone were to confront me about "being in the wrong bathroom," I think I would die. I don't really know what I'm going to do. Once I start testosterone (soon!), I will no longer be able to use the women's room, especially when (fingers crossed) I start to grow facial hair. Is my fear rational, or not?
Thanks.

[Northern Star Girl]

Hey.
I'm pretty new to this website, and forums in general. I'm 17, (almost 18,) living in Texas. Ever since I was little, I would "accidentally" want to go into the men's room.  However, since coming out, I have become very uncomfortable with my appearance and since I live in such a conservative state I'm very afraid of using the bathroom that matches my gender. I think I've gone to the men's room once, while I was out of state in Virginia. I have a fear of cis adult men that comes along with trauma. I'm very, very afraid of being in an enclosed space where if I was to get outed, unintentionally or otherwise, I feel like I could get physically harmed. Is this just me? Am I going to be able to get over this fear? Keep in mind, I have terrible social anxiety. If someone were to confront me about "being in the wrong bathroom," I think I would die. I don't really know what I'm going to do. Once I start testosterone (soon!), I will no longer be able to use the women's room, especially when (fingers crossed) I start to grow facial hair. Is my fear rational, or not?
Thanks.

@ratkingleo
Dear Leo:
     I am so very happy to see that you have now have become a member Susan's Place and have posted for the first time here on the Forums.

    As you post here on the forums you will be able to exchange thoughts and comments with others that are experiencing many of the same things that you are.

    This is the right place for you to be to find out what others may have to say that may have been in your circumstances and with your questions and concerns.
    There are a lot of members here that will be able to identify with your situation as you continue to feel free to share it.

    I also want to warmly WELCOME you to Susan's Place. 
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.

    As you are certainly aware you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members.  When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
     ***There is a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new like-minded friends here. 

    Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.
   
    I have attached important and informative LINKS that will help you to navigate around the Forums and will allow you to enjoy the features here.     
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
 

Things that you should read

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[Northern Star Girl]

@ratkingleo
Oh, and another thing Leo...
Please plan to find your way to the Introductions Forum to briefly tell us about yourself so that more members will be aware of your arrival.

Since you are not quite 18 years old yet and you are one of our younger members, you may want to stop by the Youth Introductions Forum and introduce yourself there!
     
Thank you again for coming to Susan's Place and being involved in the Forums here.
Best wishes to you,
Danielle
NOTE:  Now that all of this greeting stuff is done, I will let everyone have the thread back so you can continue to pursue the conversation that you were trying to have.

[sarah1972]

Hi Leo -

Yes, the fear is real. While I am MTF I pretty much waited to step into a women's bathroom until I started to get kicked out of the men's room. This has not been easy at times, I remember a day waiting for a train which kept getting delayed and delayed. I was not ready for the ladies room in the train station but wearing a dress and makeup I also did not want to go into the men's room. I was about to take the next random train in my direction just so I can use a private bathroom.

It does take a lot of courage and getting used to. And even after over a year for me, I still have an underlying fear. I did discuss this with my wife and she said: If you present female (which I do all the time) use the ladies room.

In over 100 trips to the ladies room and using the female locker room in my gym at least twice a week, I have not yet have any trouble. But I try to keep to myself and avoid conversations. There is currently one exception: Due to hair removal I often cannot shave and during those days, I avoid any ladies room.

Once your beard grows, you may be better off in the men's room. I do understand your anxiety and trauma, but it may still be better than being flagged trying to use the ladies room.

The other option is trying to find unisex bathrooms. Malls often have family changing rooms which are single stall.

Good luck!

Sarah

[Astxl]

If it bothers you a lot to use the men's bathroom because you do not feel physically masculine, then use the bathroom for disabled people and stop causing problems with that, in the end it's just a bath to pee and look in the mirror, lol.

For me its impossible to enter to a men's room because I'm a girl.