I need to talk to someone

[Amoré]

Hi

I am looking for someone that was born intersex that they chose the penis instead of vagina.

I don't even want to go too a doctor because they will only laugh at me because it is his clients and he discusses thing upfront with them.

If I can prove I am intersex that will be a great relief because my gut is telling me something is off.

If I am not that is also a big relief because then I can prove to myself I am delusional.

[Evienne]

Hi

I am looking for someone that was born intersex that they chose the penis instead of vagina.

I don't even want to go too a doctor because they will only laugh at me because it is his clients and he discusses thing upfront with them.

If I can prove I am intersex that will be a great relief because my gut is telling me something is off.

If I am not that is also a big relief because then I can prove to myself I am delusional.

I'm not, so can't personally help from my own experience, but I don't understand why you say you can't go to a doctor. I doubt they would laugh at you, and they legally aren't allowed to discuss your information with just other random people. That's a total privacy violation.

[Linde]

Hi

I am looking for someone that was born intersex that they chose the penis instead of vagina.

I don't even want to go too a doctor because they will only laugh at me because it is his clients and he discusses thing upfront with them.

If I can prove I am intersex that will be a great relief because my gut is telling me something is off.

If I am not that is also a big relief because then I can prove to myself I am delusional.

I am such a person, I was made into a male (and I am a medical professional), but as I told you at another place here on Susan's, there is not much one can diagnose long distance about your condition.
What do you feel I could tell you that would help you with a doctor?
A doc can look for possible scar tissue, and could try to get records about your birth or any surgery you had shortly thereafter.  You would need to have a Karyotyping test to determine your chromosome condition.

There is really nothing I or anybody else here can help you with.

[Amoré]

I'm not, so can't personally help from my own experience, but I don't understand why you say you can't go to a doctor. I doubt they would laugh at you, and they legally aren't allowed to discuss your information with just other random people. That's a total privacy violation.

I sorry all, I am trying to tell my fiance I am in pain. I told him I want to go too the doctor because I have been in bed for almost 3 days. It feels if I am having a period or a bladder infection or something. He just ignores me and tell me to stop complaining I am just looking for an excuse to go to the doctor.

So if I mentioned I am in pain I am being said I am delusional and imagining stuff. So he will keep on ignoring me till it goes away.

He said we will get the scars checked out one day.

I don't have money if I use his money he is going to go ape. That is why I turned to susans for help because I don't get help at home.

I am not sure why am in pain I really don't care anymore.

Thank you all for the help

[Linde]

I don't have money if I use his money he is going to go ape. That is why I turned to susans for help because I don't get help at home.

I am not sure why am in pain I really don't care anymore.

Thank you all for the help

again, we can't help you any more.  I am a medical professional, and can't help you either online.  You need to see a doctor, and if your fiance is so non chalant about your well being, you should think it over very hard if he is the right person for you!
You need urgent help of a medical professional, going away could mean you will have problems for the rest of your life if not treated today!
I don't know which country you live in, but all countries I have visited have some kind of emergency room at their hospitals who would take care of you.  Go to the emergency room of your next hospital and ask them for help.  Don't be depending on this person you call your fiance, if he is not interested in your health!

[F_P_M]

pain so bad you can't get out of bed needs to be checked immediately!

Pain in that region could be a large number of things, you definitely need a doctor to feel your stomach and run a scan.

If your partner doesn't think it's important when you're in pain then he sounds like a douche. Sorry but, what sort of person doesn't get worried about their partner if they've been in bed three days!?? that's insane.

Get to a doctor, please!

[F_P_M]

Okay Amore, i've had a think and i'm genuinely concerned about your situation. Your fiance you regularly mention controls the money and denies you medical care, demeans your fears and generally sounds honestly abusive. I'm worried for you.

A long time ago you posted this list:

They regularly demean or disregard your opinions, ideas, suggestions, or needs.

They use sarcasm or "teasing" to put you down or make you feel bad about yourself.

They accuse you of being "too sensitive" in order to deflect their abusive remarks.

They try to control you and treat you like a child.

They correct or chastise you for your behavior.

You feel like you need permission to make decisions or go out somewhere.

They try to control the finances and how you spend money.

They try to make you feel as though they are always right, and you are wrong.

They give you disapproving or contemptuous looks or body language.

They regularly point out your flaws, mistakes, or shortcomings.

They accuse or blame you of things you know aren't true.

They are intolerant of any seeming lack of respect.

They make excuses for their behavior, try to blame others, and have difficulty apologizing.

The repeatedly cross your boundaries and ignore your requests.

They blame you for their problems, life difficulties, or unhappiness.

They are emotionally distant or emotionally unavailable most of the time.

They resort to pouting or withdrawal to get attention or attain what they want.

They don't show you empathy or compassion.

They play the victim and try to deflect blame to you rather than taking personal responsibility.

They disengage or use neglect or abandonment to punish or frighten you.

They don't seem to notice or care about your feelings

They view you as an extension of themselves rather than as an individual.

They share personal information about you with others.

They invalidate or deny their emotionally abusive behavior when confronted.

They make subtle threats or negative remarks with the intent to frighten or control you.


I would like you to revisit it. The things you say they ping warning signs.

Maybe i'm overreacting, maybe it's presumptuous, but please take care of yourself. You've been through hell and back, please, remember that you are worth the money, you're worth it ALL. It's just money but you, you are irreplaceable.

I'm worried about you Amore. And maybe that's wierd for a stranger but I am. Please stay safe.

[Haley Conner]

See a doctor right away!  And don't waste your time and energy on someone who doesn't reciprocate.

[Amoré]

Saw the doctor

On a set of antibiotics now feel like crap but got laughed at for just asking can I be intersex.

This is after I got bronchitis also and coughed my lungs out.

Doc was very unsympathetic like usual.

He tried to force a glove up there without lube and gave me a hemorrhoid also in the process. I told him to pull it out.

Well maybe I don't see it out of his perspective. I am sort of a wreck these days and I do think to much.

[Haley Conner]

Have you compared the length of your index finger to your ring finger?  That can be a trait of intersexuality.  If your index finger is longer than your ring finger, that is a female hand, and could mean there was an androgen imbalance while you were in the womb or otherwise.  If a male fetus doesn't produce testosterone, it develops essentially as female, minus the tissues and organs determined by chromosomes.  If you are genetically intersex, it's more obvious and manifests in other ways. 

Some other tell-tale traits: Born with little or no male development, don't develop muscle mass easily, very flexible, able to cross legs twice, certain face shapes, certain speech affectations, and a bunch of other things.

[Linde]

Have you compared the length of your index finger to your ring finger?  That can be a trait of intersexuality.  If your index finger is longer than your ring finger, that is a female hand, and could mean there was an androgen imbalance while you were in the womb or otherwise.  If a male fetus doesn't produce testosterone, it develops essentially as female, minus the tissues and organs determined by chromosomes.  If you are genetically intersex, it's more obvious and manifests in other ways. 

Some other tell-tale traits: Born with little or no male development, don't develop muscle mass easily, very flexible, able to cross legs twice, certain face shapes, certain speech affectations, and a bunch of other things.

The finger thing is an approximation.  I am intersex, I was tested, and I am more female than male.  The index finger of my right hand is about as long as the ring finger, the index finger of my left hand is a little bit longer than the ring finger.
A better test for identifying a more female skeleton is the way the arms are build.
If one holds the arms down to the side of the body, and now turns the lower arms such that the palms of the hands are facing forward, and now measures the distance between the body and the edge of the hand.
If the edge is more than about 6" away from the body, while still pressing the arms down to the side, it can indicate a female build (mine are about 11" away)

[Haley Conner]

Interesting!  I didn't know about that one. 

[Linde]

Interesting!  I didn't know about that one.

So, are you ready to carry a diaper bag and still can swing your arms?
I don't plan to carry diaper bags, but when I carry other stuff at my side, I can nicely sway my arms by the stuff.

[Amoré]

Interesting mine are 8 inches away would explain why I throw like a girl. But I also have wider hips LOL.


I grew a female shape as a child and tried to gym to hide it and some breast tissue because boys liked to grab them.
I also struggled to put on muscle a lot.

I was as small as a girl also. People mistook me for a girl all the time children argued with me in primary school that I am a girl and have to go too the bathroom and pull down my pants to prove I am a boy.

Ring finger is way shorter than index finger on both hands.

But no doctor here that I know have experience with intersex people. I am more curious as why I have a body like I do than proving I am intersex.

Doctors here is also more likely to just look at the symptoms pop you some pain meds and off you go.They never look for the cause.

It sucks sometimes because one time I had really bad uti he told me I can't get uti because I am a male down there. I ended up in hospital a week later and it spreaded to my kidneys. Because we are transgender they think every pain is a fixation of the imagination. I am only trying to pretend to have uti because it is a disease only a woman gets.

Judging by my profile pic I don't have much male features this is only a black and white filter. Plus I always had a cool patch of grey hair.

[Amoré]

Have you compared the length of your index finger to your ring finger?  That can be a trait of intersexuality.  If your index finger is longer than your ring finger, that is a female hand, and could mean there was an androgen imbalance while you were in the womb or otherwise.  If a male fetus doesn't produce testosterone, it develops essentially as female, minus the tissues and organs determined by chromosomes.  If you are genetically intersex, it's more obvious and manifests in other ways. 

Some other tell-tale traits: Born with little or no male development, don't develop muscle mass easily, very flexible, able to cross legs twice, certain face shapes, certain speech affectations, and a bunch of other things.

I can't cross my legs twice because I carry too much fat on them. That is where most of my weight have always been in the lower section of my body.

[Amoré]

At the end of the day. It doesn't matter if I am intersex or not actually. What does it matter really except if it causes health problems.

I am who I am female regardless. I accept myself that way

Sure it would be cool if they find female reproductive system. But I also don't want to sit with the complications.

I just want everything to be normal and healthy down there that I can have my grs one day and not have problems like now. With no doctor that has answers.

We spend a fortune on just trying to find out what was wrong with my muscles and why I have knots and spasms and no treatment worked. If I went to a chyro I end up not being able to get out of bed for a week same with a physio.

[F_P_M]

I admit, I often sort of hope I am intersex because it'd explain so much but the reality is far more likely I just have a borked up biochemistry that's made things.. interesting.

I definitely have child bearing hips.
but I also grow a lot of body hair despite having low t so... yeah.

I'm gonna have to look into that carrying angle thing now lol. I've honestly never thought about it. I tend to carry things in front of me rather than to the side because it hurts my hip.

I do hope you find some answers though and get some relief. I know what it's like to live a lot of your life not knowing what's up inside of you and dealing with ongoing health issues as a result.

[Dena]

It sucks sometimes because one time I had really bad uti he told me I can't get uti because I am a male down there. I ended up in hospital a week later and it spreaded to my kidneys. Because we are transgender they think every pain is a fixation of the imagination. I am only trying to pretend to have uti because it is a disease only a woman gets.

Men can and do get UTI's, often when they don't drink enough water. One of the astronauts on Apollo 13 had a UTI because they mistakenly though they needed to stop discarding urine. Turned out they only needed to do it for a short time while earth was gathering tracking information.

When a male gets a UTI, it requires a full week of antibiotics to make sure the prostate is clear of the infection. A women is normally only given about a 4 days supply. This is why even after the surgery the doctor is made aware of you medical history when treating a UTI.

[Amoré]

LOL yeah these doctors.

My endo want to see me to investigate the cause of the phantom periods.

The bump also that appeared on my pelvic floor during the phantom period.

Also to take a look at the cyst and all other strange stuff.

My hands are smaller than my sisters that came to visit and she is even shorter than me.

I am only 5 foot 4" she is 5 foot flat

[Lexxi]

The finger thing is an approximation.  I am intersex, I was tested, and I am more female than male.  The index finger of my right hand is about as long as the ring finger, the index finger of my left hand is a little bit longer than the ring finger.
A better test for identifying a more female skeleton is the way the arms are build.
If one holds the arms down to the side of the body, and now turns the lower arms such that the palms of the hands are facing forward, and now measures the distance between the body and the edge of the hand.
If the edge is more than about 6" away from the body, while still pressing the arms down to the side, it can indicate a female build (mine are about 11" away)

Linde,

Your answers continually impress me. When you say something I take it as gospel.

For almost my entire life I've known that I was born in the wrong body. As I got older and started doing some research, I learned about people who are born intersex, I had it fixed in my mind that that's what was wrong with me. Then I researched it a little bit and realized that couldn't possibly be the truth.

However, after your post about the hands being far away from the body like you showed in the picture, I got up and measured the distance for mine. It's almost 11 inches. Both of my ring fingers are longer than my index fingers though. Not by much, but they are longer.

Doing the measuring thing with my arms ended up sending me on another research fest, and it's possible that I found an answer. What I discovered is in the intersex spectrum I believe. It's called Mild androgen insensitivity syndrome. I have a lot of the symptoms that were indicated in the Wikipedia page for the syndrome. The only marker I missed was having a high voice. My voice is very deep. The only way I would ever be certain if that's what I have or not though is if I had my genetics tested, and I can't really afford that.

All of us want to be able to explain what makes us different. This could be it for me...or maybe not...I could just be grasping at straws too.

Lexxi